Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini-Ep #10: Bang The Drum Slowly & Murder By Decree

Episode Date: May 21, 2015

Each week, comedian Gilbert Gottfried and comedy writer Frank Santopadre share their appreciation of lesser-known films, underrated TV shows and hopelessly obscure character actors -- discussing, dissecting and (occasionally) defending their handpicked guilty pleasures and buried treasures. This week: Gilbert sings again! Death on the baseball diamond! And Captain von Trapp hunts Jack the Ripper! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Go to patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried and support the podcast for the love of all that is holy. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried and I think this is Gilbert and Frank's compulsive obsessive compulsive behavior obsessive, compulsive behavior. No, no, that's something else. This is how we keep switching the light switch. Washing your hands a lot. Counting to seven and then switching it back on.

It's our obsessive, compulsive behavior. I like that title better. Yes. obsessive, compulsive behavior. I like that title better. Yes. I open, I take off the cap of the milk bottle with my left hand and put it in my right pocket. Show me the blueprints.

Just show me the blueprints. We're going to get emails now. We're going to get emails and calls. Amazing, colossal obsessions. Yes. Oh, that's it. Yay. That was going gonna be my second guess and what pray tell is your movie pick for this week well i i i had i'd like try

extra hard to stay away from recommending a comedy which you're just doing to piss off our listeners at this point i'm gonna start naming dramas I absolutely hated. Just. Just a bunch of people. Now, surprisingly, this week, the movie I'm recommending does not have a Nazi in it. Really? Yeah. That's a breakthrough in itself.

Because you did The Pawnbroker, The Boys from Brazil, and okay. Yeah, yeah. Nazi free. Yes. This is progress. I drink Nazi free Coca-Cola. It's sugar free and Nazi free. As opposed to when Coca-Cola puts out their product in Germany and then it's now with extra Nazi.

So this would not be the soda recommended by Dr. Zell. No. You guys can figure that reference out for yourselves. Okay. that reference out for yourselves okay i'm i'm this is a very strange recommendation because i don't follow sports oh whatsoever and and i don't know a thing about sports that's right i just know that uh baseball players have very odd names. Really? Yeah. There's who's on first, what's on second. I don't know who's on third. That's what I'm trying to find out.

The names of the players on the St. Louis team. Now, you know some sports movies. We've talked about the Babe Ruth story. Yes. I know about sports from movies. Like, I know that Anthony Perkins used to play baseball fear strikes out yeah and he went nuts that's right and then he decided to go into acting right okay so you're not completely ignorant and i know william bendix was supposedly a great ball but babe ruth's story. It's a terrible movie. So the movie that I liked was, it was remade from a TV production starring Paul Newman

and George Pappard. And that's, I'm already forgetting the name of the movie. I'm already forgetting the name of the movie. See, this is Hollywood Babylon. Gilbert Gottfried started slipping at this point. No, it was Bang the Drum Slow with Robert De Niro and Michael Moriarty. I didn't know that started as a Paul Newman. Yes, yes, I saw it. No idea.

Paul Newman played the Robert De Niro part. No idea. Of a baseball player who's not too bright. Right. And also finds out he's dying. Right. And it was made then into a movie with Robert De Niro, Michael Moriarty, and I think also our pal Danny Aiello is in it.

I think Vincent Gardinia's in it somewhere. Vincent Gardinia from Death Wish. Right, and all in the family. And, oh, Marshall Brickman, who used to be a humorist or whatever. Well, sure. He co-wrote Annie Hall. Yes. Yeah.

So, and that movie was, it's a very sad film. Yes. Young De Niro. Yeah. Yeah. And back when De Niro was, when you'd say, oh, wow, a De Niro film is coming out. And didn't Aiello tell us that he had to teach or somebody had to teach De Niro? It was a lot of man hours teaching him how to throw a baseball.

Yeah. How to swing a bat. I mean, of course, with Danny. Right, right. You don't know if it actually happened. You grade the story on a Danny Aiello curve. actually happened you grade the story on a daniela curve yeah danny was teaching uh lawrence olivier had an act uh right baryshnikov had a dance he taught patty duke how to play uh helen keller i think and i think joe franklin uh had john barrymore and Henny Youngman.

On the same show. John Barrymore and Drew Barrymore. He had them on the same show. Which was really impressive. So bang the drums slowly. Yes. And I remember, well, the music. It doesn't have a song.

They do have that song, you know, Streets of Laredo. Yep, yep. While riding one morning, I met a young cowboy. And then the theme music was dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee. You amaze me. And there's a part where the ballplayers are asked to go on the show and perform a musical number. I remember this. I remember the musical number. Wow. Please excuse my tears because I've been on the road to tribulation And I find no consolation here

What good is a love song If the words are second hand They don't belong to anyone I can't get near Cause I live on the outside Of your joys and laughter you gave me a good time but i can't come after all is said and done yeah i'm not the one you really took me for and so you better look before you leap so you better look before you weep incredible oh i thought i was listening to victor moan oh and i'll just say one more

uh part of the movie where um they're talking about de niro's character dying and and one of the characters says to michael moriarty she says um she or he says to uh knowing he's going to die uh why isn't he out just partying and celebrating every night and michael mariardi says well i don't know why i don't know why we're all not doing that oh it's poignant yeah it's sort of a little bit it's a little bit like a baseball equivalent of brian's song yes you know which came out not too long after or around the same time also a sports figure dying right right but you you amaze me it's it's funny that you don't play a musical instrument because you are you you are very musical and especially you know dara's here and she's not

she's nodding in agreement and he sings these songs and he were you the you have to be the only person walking around on the planet that remembers all the words to a musical number in Bang the Drum Slowly and the theme song and every word of it from The Lords of Flatbush, which he sang to Henry Winkler. Yeah. Hey, hey, what do you say? It's incredible. Looks like it's going to be a very fine day.

You never cease to astound me. Well, I'm going to stop you in your tracks because there's no theme song from this movie. This is a paid advertisement from BetterHelp. As a podcast listener, you've heard from us before. Today, let's hear what members have told us. One member said, I would recommend my therapist 1,000 times over. She has truly changed my life. Another member said, the day after my first session,000 times over. She has truly changed my life. Another member said, the day after my first session,

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This episode is brought to you by FX's The Bear on Disney+. In Season 3, Carmi and his crew are aiming for the ultimate restaurant accolade, a Michelin star. With Golden Globe and Emmy wins, the show starring Jeremy Allen White, Io Debrey, and Maddie Matheson is ready to heat up screens once again. All new episodes of FX's The Bear are streaming June 27, only on Disney+. This is a movie, a Jack the Ripper picture, one of two that I'm going to recommend. I'm going to save one until next week and let people guess what it is. But this is called Murder by Decree. It's a

Sherlock Holmes movie made in 1979. You're nodding. I know you know the movie. Yes, yes. And 1979, by the way, excuse me, doing a little research, a pretty damn good year for American movies. Apocalypse Now, Hair, Breaking Away, Alien, all that jazz, Kramer vs. Kramer. It was a good year. And this movie, a Holmes picture that's very smart, a different kind of Holmes picture. It's a little bit dark and harsh. Somebody called it like a Hammer film, like if Hammer made a Holmes film, and I agreed with that. It's one of the best Holmes pictures made.

Christopher Plummer plays Holmes. James Mason plays Watson, and he's a funny Watson. He's not quite a bumbling Watson like Nigel Bruce. I remember – see, Nigel Bruce is still my favorite. Yeah, mine too. Even though anyone who's read a Sherlock Holmes book, which doesn't include me, I wouldn't even. You were reading A Study in Scarlet when I walked in here. What are you talking about?

To me, Sherlock Holmes and Watson, Basil Rathbone, and Nigel Bruce. Yeah, to most people. Yeah. But I remember in the movie, well, because I remember Nigel Bruce used to be like the bumbling. He was. He was. Yes.

He was the comic relief. But I remember James Mason in here has a scene, and I saw this years ago. Uh-huh. He has a scene where he's trying to eat a pea. Yeah. Yeah. years ago. He has a scene where he's trying to eat a pea. And then finally

Sherlock Holmes takes his fork and smashes his peas. And he goes, you smashed my peas. I was eating those peas and you smashed them. It's brilliant. That's exactly

the scene. That scene stayed with me too. Because it's a great comic moment for Mason. It's got a great cast. Genevieve, we were talking about Geneviève Bourgeot. It's my wife's name. I should be able to pronounce it. Donald Sutherland. This is going to cause a lot of trouble when you get home today.

Yes. David Hemmings, the British actor from Blow Up, and John Gielgud. Susan Clark, who people knew, she played, speaking of sports movies you didn't watch, she played Babe Dedrickson Zaharias in Babe. Oh! And she was the star of Webster. She was married to Alex Karras. Oh, my God.

Yeah, Susan Clark, who was the director's sister. Bob Clark, this is relevant, Bob Clark, who was known for's sister. Bob Clark, this is relevant. Bob Clark, who was known for Porky's movies, directed this picture. And it's a wonderful movie. Check it out if you're a Holmes fan, if you're not a Holmes fan. It was released around the time, a little later, at the end of the 70s. But two other memorable Holmes movies that I want to mention from the 70s is Billy Wilder's Private Life of Sherlock Holmes and one I know you know, The 7% Solution. With Alan Arkin.

Right. One of our favorites. Alan Arkin. Alan Arkin and was it Nicole? Nicole Williamson. Nicole Williamson. Right. Who has a little part in The Goodbye Girl.

Yeah. Alan Arkin plays Freud. He does. In that. Yes. It's where Sherlock Holmes meets Freud. Right. So what the hell?

We'll recommend all three. Private Life of Sherlock Holmes and The 7% Solution, which is great. But really watch Murder by Decree, which is a great Holmes picture. Smart and satisfying. And it's also about Jack the Ripper. And, oh, yes, with Malcolm McDowell. Well, that's a second movie that we'll talk about next week. Yes, okay, and Bang the Drum Slowly.

And Bang the Drum Slowly. You want to take us out on a little bit of the... Oh. Who sings, by the way? De Niro doesn't sing in the movie. De Niro and all the other... Well, it's supposed to be funny that they're bald players that are thrown on a show

to start singing because they're like... Right. And Joe De Niro's there and he is singing off-key and his dance steps are out of step with the other. I've got to watch this.

I just love it when you sing. Please excuse my tears but I've been on the road to tribulation, and I find no consolation here. That's so musical. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it. We'll be right back. Liza Slicinger Slicinger I've been friends with her for 10 years one of the funniest people out there and I still have a hard time with the last name Liza

our very own Owen Benjamin that's me takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more you don't have to wait any longer

just go to youtube.com slash wait for it comedy there's no need to wait for it anymore because it's here and it's funny. And I love you.

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