Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini-Ep #28: 7 Faces of Dr. Lao and The King Of Comedy

Episode Date: September 24, 2015

Each week, comedian Gilbert Gottfried and comedy writer Frank Santopadre share their appreciation of lesser-known films, underrated TV shows and hopelessly obscure character actors -- discussing, dissecting and (occasionally) defending their handpicked guilty pleasures and buried treasures. This week: Tony Randall's tour de force! Jerry Lewis stands in for Johnny Carson! And Papillon Soo Soo, phone home! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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And on Instagram, Gilbert Podfried. P-O-D-F-R-I-E-D. You see, it's kind of a pun on the last name. Ah, never mind. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. And this is another episode of Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Obsessions. amazing, colossal obsessions. Now, as far as my own personal obsession,

I am, if anyone, I'm looking for Papillon Soussou. Papillon Soussou. Now, it's not a dish. Yeah. Try the

Papillon Soussu with brown rice. French to Vietnamese. Papillon susu, in case you don't know the name, is the girl who said the famous line, me so horny, me so horny, me love you long time, me so horny, me love you long time. Me so horny. Me love you wrong time. Oh, me so horny.

Me do anything. Me so horny. Papillon Susu, if you're listening to this podcast or if there's someone out there who knows, Papillon, me so Horny.

You didn't mention the movie. Yes, Full Metal Jacket. And the funny thing is, I'll bet more people know the line, Me So Horny, than Full Metal Jacket. Or have seen the film. Yeah, yeah. And so if anyone out there. We don't know if she's still acting. We found on IMDb she has three credits.

She was in A View to a Kill, the Bond movie, and I think her last acting credit listed is 92. Yeah. So we don't know if she's even in the business. So basically she's got my agent. These are the kind of requests he comes to me with. Sitting in the Friars Club interviewing Kelly Carlin, George Carlin's daughter, and Gilbert says,

hey, I know who we should get for the show. Yes, and this was, and Frank basically said, no, this is a show about old Hollywood, not girls who you jerked off to after having watched the movie. That would be too long a list. We don't even know if she speaks English. But we'd love to have her on the movie. That would be too long a list. We don't even know if she speaks English. But we'd love to have her on the show.

So Pappy on Susu, if you're still out there, or if any of our listeners know how to find her, give us a shout. Yes. You know where to find us, on Facebook, on Twitter. Of course, me so horny. You did that impression. You sounded like Rooney, Mickey Rooney,

in Breakfast at Tiffany's. Rooney did that impression. You sounded like Rooney, Mickey Rooney. Okay. So who goes first? You go first. Okay. Speaking of offensive Asian care, I was just going to say, you got a natural segue there.

And I, you know, the funny thing is, is like probably the majority of white actors playing Asians was not offensive. Well, it wasn't a big deal. Paul Mooney in The Good Earth. Exactly. They would cast white actors, Caucasian actors. And all of the Charlie Chan parts.

Right. Wait a second. I can do it. Oh, Jesus. Right. Wait a second. I can do it. Oh, Jesus. Roland Winter. Right. Sidney Toler.

Good. The most famous one. The most famous one. He was like Swedish. He was the doctor in Werewolf of London. Warner Olin? Warner Olin. There you go. Warner Olin. Warner Olin. There you go. Warner Olin.

Warner Olin was the first one. And then he was replaced by Sidney Toler. Right. And then it was Roland Winter. Right, right. Who I once heard a rumor was Jewish, but he really wasn't. Really? That's so disappointing.

So now the only Asian Jew would be Dr. No. That's right. Joseph Wiseman. Right, which is again a Caucasian actor playing... Louise Renier, by the way, won an Oscar for playing an Asian character in The Good Earth.

And I heard that when those Charlie Chan movies were in the theaters, they were very popular among Chinese audiences. I didn't know that. That's interesting. And it would make perfect sense. It's like you're showing like this Chinese genius who's solving crime and you're going, oh, what an offensive character. Right. Well, it was what an offensive character. Right.

Well, it was normal for the time. Yeah. And, you know, you see it still in the 60s, and it's starting to get – Oh, yes. It's starting – I mean, Mickey Rooney we just talked about in Breakfast at Tiffany's. That's an over-the-top offensive. And, of course, Jerry Lewis. Oh, Jerry.

In which one? The Geisha Boy? Geisha Boy, and then he revised it in that, oh, Hardly Worth. Oh, where he's like the Benny Hanna shit? Oh, yes. That's painful to watch. And I heard that George Takai said one of his only regrets in his career was a Jerry Lewis movie that he smirked on. It must have been one of those

where he's in the background and Jerry Lewis is the main guy. Well, a smorgasbord and hardly working, those last two regrettable Lewis pictures. A lot of, I think of Sellers in Murder by Death. Playing sort of a Charlie Chan knockoff.

And then his last film, sadly, the fiendish plot of Dr. Fu Manchu. Oh, with Sid Caesar. Yeah, right, after his triumph and being there. But by then, you sort of start to see it becoming politically incorrect. You know what's very weird that I've noticed in movies is the people who've taken over for Asians as far as being, hey, they look funny, they sound funny, is people from India. Right. That's interesting. It used to be like if you'd have Asians pop up, they look funny, they sound funny. Right.

And so it used to be Asians would go, oh, you know, they look funny. They sound funny. Right. And it's how it used to be, you know, Asians would go, oh, do, do, do, do. Comic relief. And now it's replaced with do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. And it's like, hey, those people from India sure are funny. Well, remember we had Mike Reese on the show from The Simpsons and when they were talking

about how Azaria was first going to play Apu. Oh, yes. The deli owner and the quickie mart owner in Springfield. He said, I'm not going to do it anything but a Middle Eastern guy

or a Pakistani guy or an Indian guy. But that's what it turned out to be. Yeah. Yeah. So, I guess that's

the last stereotype that Hollywood is getting away with. Oh, yes. But there's your segue oh okay white actor play nation you forgot the movie okay this movie i i haven't seen it for years but i remember liking it when uh when i first saw it so i've never seen it so i can't swear to you how i would like it now but it was made by directed by george powell who did time machine and war of the worlds he was a fantasist yes yeah

and and it stars of all people tony randall and it's called the seven facesaces of Dr. Lao. That's the one. It's a very peculiar film where Tony Randall plays a Chinese man who shows up with like a little fishbowl into a western town. Yeah, corrupt western town. Yeah. And he shows up with a little fishbowl with a little fish in it. And he claims to have a big circus. And the makeup was done by William Tuttle. Yeah, we did a little research on it because you usually don't tell me your film, but this week you did. And there's a little research on it, and he won an honorary Oscar, William Tuttle, for the makeup.

And William Tuttle also did the makeup for the time machine oh right and one of the morlocks from the time machine does a special guest appearance in in seven faces yeah yeah that's like kind of an inside joke that's fun trivia and okay now here's also trivia, and I think it was William Tuttle. Now, I heard, now George Hamilton is known for his ridiculous tan. Yeah. And now, if George Hamilton really was tanning himself out in the sun all these years, he would have been dead years ago. I'm sure. standing himself out in the sun all these years,

he would have been dead years ago. I'm sure. Or his skin would be falling. He would be needing skin grafts by now. And he looks good, actually. Yeah, he looks good. I just saw him on an Oprah. Where are they now? And so what's really interesting,

somebody told me, I think it was William Tuttle, devised a special makeup for George Hamilton that looks like a suntan. I didn't know that. Yeah. That's good stuff. Will George Hamilton be a good guest for us? Probably. He's funny.

He's good in comedies. He's done everything. And I think he's got a reality show. So I think he's got something to plug. Yeah. Dara will put George Hamilton on the list. So that's been makeup all these years, not a real tan. Oh, I was in Howie Mandel's special.

Was George. No, he wasn't in that. Robert Goulet. Well, they're interchangeable. Yeah, pretty much. Except Goulet is not available. Don't let that get out to George Hamilton. But I was in a Jenny McCarthy.

Her sitcom lived like about three seconds. I'm familiar with her. Yeah. And may I say, that reminds me, don't give any of your children vaccinations. For God's sake, it causes autism. Oh, God. I refuse to give my kids vaccinations. Both my kids have polio now, but that's not important.

Talk about a tangent. Also, in the seven faces of Dr. Lau is Arthur O'Connell. Yeah, playing the bad guy. Oh, and Arthur O'Connell is one of those actors I always confuse with Frank Ferguson. That's funny. Who played McDougal in Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein. Very good. Oh, I know who you mean.

Yes. He is sort of Arthur O'Connell-like. McDougal's House of Horrors. Yes. For some reason, I mix up Arthur O'Connell and Jack Albertson. Oh, yeah. But Jack Albertson was taller. And I think younger.

But they both turned up in the Poseidon Adventure. Arthur O'Connell is the priest. And Jack Albertson's married to Shelley Winters. And once again, down the wormhole. Wow. Wow. And Shelley Winters, definitely a Jew.

That's right. As was Jack Albertson. Was Jack Albertson Jewish? Jack Albertson a Jew. Amazing. We have to add a third show. And Tony Randall. Tony Randall.

Tony Randall's Leonard Rosenberg. Yes. You're not stumping me on that one. And Jack Klugman was Jack Klugman. Yeah. Lots of Jews involved in The Odd Couple. And yet the man who developed it for television and hired Tony Randall and Jack Klugman, he's one of mine. Yes.

Gary Marshall. He's very weird, Gary Marshall, in that he's an Italian who looks and acts like a Jew. Right. Everybody thinks Penny Marshall, his sister, and Gary Marshall are Jewish, but they're Paisani. Yeah, yeah. So there you go. We're breaking news. I heard that Gary Marshall said in the neighborhood he grew up in was a famous Jew lived down the block from him

and that was the designer Ralph Lipschitz. Yeah, who became Ralph Loren. There you go. Good stuff. Good stuff. I think in addition to this mini episode, we have to now start doing a third mini episode

called Who's a Jew? Get rewarded for supporting our podcast. Head over to patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried. For a set amount each month, you can get some colossal benefits, such as access to new podcast episodes before anyone else, early access to tickets to live podcast tapings, exclusive video hangouts, and just added, I will record a personalized roast of you and only you so you can share with your friends me telling you what a schmuck you are. Well, I don't have to join Patreon for that. And you don't have to pay me either because you are a schmuck.

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That's Patreon. P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash Gilbert Gottfried. Thank you for your generosity. Now, speaking of Tony Randall. Papillon Susu. Also Jewish. I think she's a Vietnamese Jew. She's half and half.

Speaking of Tony Randall, I'm just going to keep plowing forward. This is going to be a 37-minute episode. Tony Randall has a cameo in the film I'm picking this week, and it's a film, this is not really an obscure film, it's a little more of a mainstream film, although I think it's one of the lesser known or lesser talked about films in Martin Scorsese's Body of Work.

And you may know where I'm going with this. And one of his few out-and-out comedies. I talked about After Hours on an early show that he did. That's the one I was thinking. Let me see if I can remember. Well, I give you a hint. We just talked about the star of Schmorgasbord and Hardly Working

and he's in it. Oh! King of Comedy. That's the one. A very strange film. Very, very, very strange film. And Jerry is terrific in that. Yeah.

The rumor has it that it was written by a guy named Paul Zimmerman who was a film critic, the late Paul Zimmerman. And if you read about this film, that Johnny Carson was really who they wanted to play himself.

Yeah. And the conceit of the film was that a desperate stand-up comic... To get on a Tonight Show. Right, kidnaps a Johnny Carson-like late-night talk show host because he's desperate to get a shot on a late-night show. And I believe that Johnny Carson was approached and thought it was a bad idea. I don't know if it was about his decision was based on that he didn't want to act or didn't see himself as an actor.

Or just that he thought, I remember reading that he didn't want to encourage the idea of somebody kidnapping him. And that film, it's funny, it became part of the culture where you refer to people as a Rupert Popkin. A film that did not do well. No. At the time. It's a very frustrating film to watch. It is. Yeah.

Why do you say that? I mean, I have my own reasons. There are, I mean, it's like things don't happen the way you want them to happen. Right. It's a black comedy. Yeah. Yeah. the way you want them to happen.

Right. It's a black comedy. Yeah. Yeah. And so there, I remember them even like mentioning there are different parts in the movie, even before the ending, which I won't give away,

like where somebody's starting to have a meal and doesn't and other things. There are continuity errors in the film. I think he had some personal problems while he was shooting it i think it was a difficult time for him and and but the funny thing is jerry lewis used to be a replacement host for johnny carson so it only made oh and i heard they called him jerry langford because when they're filming out in the street they in case somebody yelled out hey jerry right they could keep it in and they do there's a scene there's a scene where he's walking in the street and i don't know if they're just extras you know jerry

i saw you last night you look great he says you should see me in my white taffeta now i don't know if that's ad-libbed by real people on the street, but there's some great stuff in it. There's also a part that Jerry Lewis mentioned to Scorsese, and then Scorsese put it in the movie, where one time a woman was talking to Lewis and wanted him to talk to her nephew or whatever. Oh, I know this scene.

And she goes, you should die of cancer. And Lewis said that actually happened. Unbelievable. Yeah, he plays Jerry Langford, which is a kind of a composite of himself and Carson. Because he had a late night show of his own. Oh, yeah. Of himself and Carson and Merv and all of these guys. And it's a very, very dark look at fame and ambition.

And De Niro is absolutely creepy. Oh, yes. In every imaginable way. And a shout out to Sandra Bernhardt, too, as his accomplice. She's also wonderful. De Niro is like you're fascinated by him, but fascinated in a character you don't like. Yeah. Well, it's a film that walks the line because, you know, it's very, very disturbing but it's also funny.

Yes. And there were times where you're uneasy for laughing. And Jerry Lewis is terrific. Terrific in the picture. And began a friendship, I think a lifelong friendship between him and De Niro. Because both De Niro and Scorsese showed up at the Jerry roast at the Friars. Yeah, I was there. You and I were both there, yeah.

So did you perform on that one? Yes. Yeah. So do you perform on that one? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Tony Randall has a little cameo as basically the replacement host.

Yes. Because Jerry's tied up. And he, Tony Randall, is arguing with them about there's a joke in the monologue about taking the Tonight Show writers to Central Park to be executed. That's correct. And that gets the biggest laugh. And he says, you're the director. Taking the Tonight Show writers to Central Park to be executed. That's correct. And that gets the biggest laugh. And he says, you're the director. Can you help me with this?

And Scorsese walks by and he's the director of the talk show and he has a cameo. So it's very inside. It's a very strange film. It's in many ways a hard film to watch, as you say, a frustrating film. It is. But so much good in it. It's frustrating. There are things you want, the direction you want it to go, and it doesn't go there. I remember, yeah, people criticizing it, too, as saying that, and you would be able to comment on this as a comic, that they didn't buy his bad comedy.

Yeah. Because he tells these bad jokes. Yes. And it must have been very hard to work that out. Like, how do we make a bad comic? Yeah.

You know? But he's very good in the film and it's unlike anything he's ever played. And Scorsese's mother, of course, pops up.

Right. As Rupert Huffman. Rupert, lower it! I'm trying to do this, ma! And he's living in this fantasy world with pictures of Liza Minnelli, cardboard cutouts in his basement. Oh, yes. And he's doing a mock talk show.

And when Jerry Lewis realizes he's being chased, Jerry Lewis makes a run for it, and it is the most Jerry Lewis run. Well, particularly one shot where he does a Jerry trot run down the street. It looks like right out of the errand boy or the bell boy. It's such a weird film because Lewis is really playing straight. Yeah, and great in it. Yeah, and unsettling himself. Yeah, yeah. And unsettling himself. He gives another disturbing performance.

And there's a scene where he comes home, and there's a contrast between the bright lights and the fame, and he comes home, and he eats food by himself in a lonely, dark apartment. I mean, it's a very black period, I think, for Scorsese. Oh, yeah. But a film well worth seeing. And who knew? Two Tony Randall movies. Yes. So King of Comedy. And the Seven Faces of Dr. Lau. And Papillon Susu. If you're out there, or if any of you are relatives or friends of Papillon Susu, have her call, please. Would you settle for a Caucasian actor playing Papillon Susu?

My Twitter is at Real Gilbert. So Papillon Susu or friends of Papillon Susu or should we yeah. Get in touch with us. Get in touch with us. I don't know about what but we'd love to talk to her. We could talk for three minutes going can you say

me so horny. 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4. Give me that fractal, colossal obsessions. Give me that fractal, colossal Obsessions. Colossal Obsessions. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza

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