Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini-Ep #42: CAR 54, WHERE ARE YOU and BATMAN

Episode Date: January 14, 2016

Each week, comedian Gilbert Gottfried and comedy writer Frank Santopadre share their appreciation of lesser-known films, underrated TV shows and hopelessly obscure character actors -- discussing, dissecting and (occasionally) defending their handpicked guilty pleasures and buried treasures. This week: The comic mind of Nat Hiken! Gilbert covers Johnny Fontaine! And the Caped Crusaders meet Jerry Lewis! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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To hear them in person, plan your trip at tnvacation.com. Tennessee sounds perfect. Don't forget to follow us on our Facebook page. Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast, on Twitter at RealGilbertACP, and on Instagram, Gilbert Podfried, P-O-D-F-R-I-E-D You see, it's kind of a pun on the last name. Ah, never mind. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert and Frank's amazing, colossal obsessions. That's it. I'm here with Frank Santopadre, and we're going to be talking about doing something different,

talking about shows we like. Yeah, last year we focused exclusively on movies, and this year we're experimenting. We talked about Gene Hackman and George Zuko last week. And I found out George Zuko is not, in fact, an Italian. Uh-huh. Which I'm very happy. Really? You want to give any credit

to my people? That... What was he? It's close to Italian. What was he? It might actually be related to Italian. He was Greek.

Oh, and he took... So Zuko was a stage name. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or maybe it was Zuko Luski. Uh-huh. And the stage name. Yeah. Yeah. Or maybe it was Zukaluski. And he shortened it. Yeah.

And, you know, I also have to say. Yes. We did an interview with Bruce Stern. We did. And it was a long one. And so there was no time to fit in the theme song. Okay, let's get it. To Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte.

Get to it now. Which was recorded by both Patti Page and Al Martino. Really? A fucking guinea. Wow. Al Martino, who played Johnny Fontaine in The Godfather. Oh, my God. And the same.

Yes. Yes. I know the Patty Page version, but lay it on us. Okay. Of course, the audience wants it. Of course. Yes. By unpopular demand.

Hush, hush, sweet Charlotte. Charlotte, don't you cry. Hush, hush, sweet Charlotte. I'll love you till I die. Hold me, sweet Charlotte. Brush that tear away. I bring you two flowers. Two flowers I give to you. The red ones for passion.

The white one, I love that's true. And now the chorus. Okay, of course. Hush, hush, sweet Charlotte. Charlotte, don't you cry. Hush, hush, sweet Charlotte.

I love you till I die. It's heartwarming. Yes. Now, if anyone's still listening. But I fucked up the middle part. I fucked up the middle. That's gonna kill me. I'm glad you didn't do it with Bruce Dern on the

line. Yes, I know. Because he's in his 80s. He might not have made it to the end of that rendition. Wait, wait, wait. Our crack researcher Paul Rayburn has the lyrics. Okay. Here we go.

Damn you, Paul. Oh, hold me, darling. Please hold me tight and brush the tear from your eyes. You wish you weep because you had a dream last night.

You dreamed that he said goodbye. He held two roses in his hand. You dream that? He said goodbye. He held two roses in his hand. Two roses he gave to you. The red rose tells you of his passion. The white rose, his love so true. And we already have the wrap-up chorus line.

You remember Judd Apatow saying he didn't use this podcast to fall asleep at night? Now. You might now know why. Yes, sir. Okay. We're trying something different. We'll pick some shows. TV shows this time. Now, I still laugh when it

comes on. Yeah. And that's Car 54, Where Are You? Drew Friedman's going to be very happy that you picked that. And I think we could both sing this together. Well, you started off. You know, it's a show a little bit before my time. There's a hold

up in the Bronx. Brooklyn's broken out in fights. There's a traffic jam in the Bronx. Brooklyn's broken out in fights. There's a traffic jam in Harlem that's backed up to Jackson Heights. There's a something. Well, I know the Khrushchev line. No one knew this line. There's a something screaming child.

There's a scout troop short a child. Khrushchev stewing idle wild. Car 54, where are you? short a child. Khrushchev stewing Idlewild. Car 54, where are you? The show is so old, the JFK airport was called Idlewild Airport. Yes, and it was made by the great Nat Hiking, who created Sergeant Bildung.

He's a genius, Nat Hyken. And Nat Hyken, it had Fred Gwynn, who would later be Herman Munster, and Al Lewis, who would later be Grandpa Munster. Yeah, it was the first pairing of Fred Gwynn and Al Lewis. And it had Joey Ross. Ooh, ooh. Yes. Carrying on the great tradition of Hunts Hall. Right. Ooh, ooh. Yes. Carrying on the great tradition of Hunts Hall. Right.

Ooh, ooh. I used to do a bit in my act. Yeah. I still do it from time to time. That doesn't surprise me. Why give up something just because everyone who remembers the show is dead? A lot of 20-somethings come in your shows and ask you to do Joey Ross material. Two more not hiking.

So, I used to do Joey Ross talking to Hunts Hall. Oh, I know this bit. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Now, Nat Hiken loved funny-looking people and and everyone on car 54 and on bilko doberman

yes yes all funny looking yeah and then it's so funny to think years later there the hit comedy is friends where everybody looks like they stepped off a magazine cover. Beautiful people. Yeah, things changed. And didn't you tell me that Nat Hyken always wanted to write a Marx Brothers movie? Yes. And I think the studio, whatever studio they were with at that time, you know, they had their own stock writers, and so they felt, I guess, it was cheaper, just they were already on the payroll.

Probably. Well, after they left MGM, they were just free agents. They were just at everybody's mercy, bouncing around. It's a shame Not Hyken didn't write a Marx, because the last Marx Brothers movies were pretty horrid. Yeah, I always appreciated the fact that Love Happy,

that Groucho's not in any scenes with any of the other brothers. Oh, yes. That was smart. And since we're talking about Car 54, we should mention a guest that we've been pursuing, which is Schnauzer's wife. Yes, Charlotte Ray. Yeah. Yeah, who is very funny.

Yeah, and you worked with her. Didn't you work with her? No, I worked with Carolyn Ray. How did Charlotte Ray come to your attention? How did she find out about the... Well, one time I was on a radio show, and she on the phone did an interview with him. Oh, okay.

And I remember, I thought of her before. Yeah, she's 89 and probably not too many people, if anybody, left from Car 54. Nipsey's gone. Oh, my God. Ozzie Davis is gone. Yeah, Nipsey used to be great on TV. He would always do...

These new cutout fashions cause me to wonder in doubt, are they outside trying to get in or inside trying to get out? I love it. I love it. There's a short list of people that guest starred on Car 54. Jan Murray, Hugh Downs, Sugar Ray Robinson, Gene Balos, one of your favorites. Oh, yes. Sorrel Book, another one of your favorites.

Who was Boss Hogs. And he was also in one of my favorite films, Bye Bye Barry. That's right. That's right. Carl Ballantyne, our pal Larry Storch, Maureen Stapleton, Charles Nelson Riley, Simon Oakland, all these people. Jake LaMotta. All these people guest starred on Car 54.

And I think Rocky Graziano. He wasn't on the list, but I'm sure you're right. And also, oh, Molly Pecan. Right, right, right. Was on. She played Mrs. Bronson, who was a matchmaker, who would promise to match people up with movie stars. That's right.

I've seen a handful, but I'm happy to report I did not see the movie remake with Rosie O'Donnell. But Nipsey's in it. Oh, my God, yes. And Fran Drescher I think was in it. Oh God, that was hideous.

Almost as good as The Black Honeymooners. Oh God, The Black Honeymooners. Those were two remakes that needed to be done. Well, the Steve Martin Bilko isn't very good either. Oh, God. Yes, also horrible.

Fortunately, Nat Hyken was dead. Doug Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast producer of the month is Paul Lawrence. Thank you, Paul. Be just like Paul and get rewarded for supporting our podcast. Head over to patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried. For a set amount each month, you can get some colossal benefits, such as access to new podcast episodes before anyone else, even Gilbert. Of course, Gilbert doesn't listen to the episode.

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That's patreon. P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash Gilbert Gottfried. Thank you for your generosity. Talk about a series just a little more contemporary. And not much.

I know what you're going to say. The Colgate Comedy Hour. You're right. The Pruits of Southampton with Phyllis Diller. Playhouse 90. This is a show that's turning 50 this year.

Oh, jeez. And that's a show that I know is near and dear to your heart because we talk about one of the actors from the show on the podcast

almost every week and that's Cesar Romero. Now, in case you've never heard an episode of this show, Cesar Romero was a famous Latin lover and a romantic lead in the movies. A very handsome, dancing continental. And according to legend...

Uh-huh. Who's legend, exactly? He was gay in real life. And what he was into was he would hire young boys to come over his house and he'd drop his pants and underwear and bend over and they'd throw orange wedges at his ass. Yep, it's been established. Yes, although some people argue that it was tangerine.

It was some kind of citrus fruit. It's really like how people argue who the best Tevye was. So... It's really like how people argue who the best Tevye was. Yeah. So I heard on the set of Batman... Yeah. When it was cold season, they would lick Cesar Romero's ass. Oh, to get the vitamin C.

To get vitamin C. Well, that makes sense. They were just being responsible. Oh, well, now everybody knows where I'm going with this. By the way, we have a fan and a friend of mine, Gene Beretta, who's a talented author and illustrator. I think I sent you this. It's on our Facebook page. It's on the Gilbert Gottfried podcast Facebook page.

Did a wonderful cartoon of Cesar Romero with his pants dropped and some kids. But in your story, it's young chorus boys. And he changes some kids that look like they were in a bazooka joke comic. Like a baseball cap turned backward and a slingshot in the back pocket. They're throwing. Like 1930s tough kids. It's really funny. I'll post it after this.

But the series I want to talk about, and it came out on DVD, and I've been watching it on DVD, and it's restored, and it looks wonderful, and that's the original Batman from 66. And we've had Adam West on the show. Oh, yes. And you brought up the oranges. Yes. I brought it up to see if he wanted them thrown in his head.

I bought sacks of oranges. You mentioned it to Julie Newmar. You mentioned it to Lee Merriweather. And I think this year we'll pursue Burt Ward. And you mentioned it to him. I mentioned it to people who never even saw Batman. But the series, I'll tell you, you know, it was a show that was very important to me as a kid. And for years I waited for it to come out on DVD. It was tied up in rights. Fox

was tied up in rights and legal wranglings with Warner Brothers. Finally it arrived. The box set is wonderful. They look terrific. And, you know, I know Batman fans and Batman purists who think the show's too campy, but I'll tell you, you could look at it as a historical artifact. Oh, yes. The people that turn up in this show. Amazing. And we've talked about Caesar and Vincent Price

and your favorite, Burgess Meredith. Yes. Until I found out that Burgess Meredith didn't tell Ron Chaney, that's his name, Ron Chaney. Ron Chaney. I'm not being anti-Japanese again. Right, right. I'm not going, oh, Ron Chaney.

Not that you need an excuse. Oh, Phantom of Aphra, Lon Chaney. I'm not doing that. That's his name. Right. But Cesar Romero wouldn't give a quote about Lon Chaney. No, Buzz Meredith, Burgess Meredith. Oh, Buzz Meredith, Buzz Meredith.

Yeah, yeah, right. So now you're down on Burgess Meredith. Yes, yes. I hope he rots in hell. That fucking best. No, but he was the penguin. The penguin. Frank Gorshin, we've talked about.

Frank Gorshin, great. Who was nominated for an Emmy for that part. David Wayne. David Wayne, the Mad Hatter. Victor Buono, Uncle Miltie turns up. Oh, yes. Louis the Lilac, Art Carney. And Adam West and Frank Gorshin were kicked out of an orgy.

That's right. For laughing and acting stupid. You could hear that on the amazing Colossal Podcast interview with Adam West. But also Roger C. Carmel. I was saying Art Carney, Michael Rennie. Oh, Jerry Lewis. Jerry Lewis turns up. Oh, and one of the window cameos.

That's when it was those laughably phony walking up a wall. Oh, the bat climb. Yeah. They obviously just turned the film over. Right. And Dick Clark pops out of a window. Oh, yeah. Edward G. Robinson pops out of a window.

Guest stars on the show, I mean, listen to these character actors. Vito Scotti, Edward Everett Horton, Joe Flynn, Woody Strode. Oh, yeah. Francis X. Bushman. Remember him? George Raft, Alicia Cook Jr., who you love. Oh! From Wilmer the Gunsel, Burt Mustin, Doodles Weaver, Alex Rocco.

You know, Doodles Weaver is the uncle of Sigourney Weaver. Correct, and committed suicide. Yes. Yes. Yes. Fritz Feld, remember him? Oh, my God, yes. With the mouth pop? He used to, yeah, he used to slap his hand to his mouth and do a pop,

and he was always like the maitre d'. Always played a maitre d'. You know him. Paul's looking at me. You know Fritz Feld. He would, like, pop his hand, and it was, he did it like anything he did. He would pop his hand to his mouth, and it always worked. Yep.

It was always funny. And two people we just paid tribute to on the In Memoriam show, Gary Owens. Oh, yes. And Alex Rocco turned up. Oh, wow. Turned up on Batman. Because that was like the hip show back then. Yep.

So everybody... Supposedly there's a rumor that Frank Sinatra was lobbying William Dozier, the producer, to get on the show. I don't know if it ever happened or that they wrote a part for him or they were thinking about writing a part for him, but it was a hip thing to do in those days.

I know Frank Sinatra got hit with a custard pie by Soupy Sales. That's right. That's right. But, you know, you go back and you look at the show just to see these actors. Oh, yeah. And it was really a one-of-a-kind show. We've talked about Neil Hefti. Yeah, Neil Hefti, who did the music for The Odd Couple.

Correct. And How to Murder Your Wife. Right, and the Batman theme. Yes. And we've talked about how all the villains had their own pieces of music on the show. And most of the villains were gay. I think a good many. I think we established Caesar and Liberace and Roddy McDowell.

And Vincent Price. And Victor Buono. Victor Buono? He seemed like such a pussy hound. There were George Sanders. Oh, and Victor Buono. Here's another connection. Victor Buono was also in Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte.

Correct. There you go. Was it? Yes, he was the father Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte. Correct. There you go. Was it? Yes, he was the father. He's in that one. That's right. Very good. And he was the piano teacher in Baby Jane.

Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. So I really urge you to get the box set and look at these. They're wonderful just to see these actors, just to see these people. But also the production design is wonderful. I mean, yes, they're campy and they're funny, but it really is a one-of-a-kind show.

George Wagner, who directed The Wolfman in 1941, was one of the directors. And Lorenzo Semple, who wrote Three Days of the Condor, and Papillon was one of the writers on the show. Which reminds me, we're still searching for you, Papillon Sousa. I knew you'd jump off from there. Me so horny.

Never did a Batman. Never did a window cameo. Should have. And she never had a dinner. Never window cameo. Aren't too many Batman people left. John Astin is still around left john aston is still around joan collins is still around but but uh but the number is is uh we lost cliff robertson a while back the number is rapidly rapidly dwindling

oh yeah so we got three of them we got three and the show turns 50 this year so we will we'll chase burt ward down but i i really urge you guys to take a look at it and especially the first season. It's when they had their mojo. Third season when they added Batgirl and they were running out of money. Oh yeah, that's when it's that jump the shark period. They jump the shark, they cut the budget, the sets were sometimes just a black space with a staircase in the middle of nowhere

but the first season, the production design is great, the costumes are great, the production design is great. The costumes are great. There's some wonderful performances. So just a show I've been obsessed with for a long time. Oh, yeah. So as long as the show is called Obsessions, I thought it fit. So anything else? So your show is Batman, the original Batman.

66. And mine was Car 54, Where Are You? And, yeah, and that, another one. That one pops up on all these cable channels. Created by the great Nat Hyken. Yes. So, as always, follow us on Twitter, on Facebook. Gilbertpodcast.com is the new website.

If you love the show, tell people about it. Tweet about it. Post about it. Paul, anything else? I think that's it. I did want to say that Neil Hefti wrote a lot for Count Basie. That's right. Oh, wow.

He did. That's right. Yes, Neil Hefti wrote a lot for Count Basie. And Billy May was the other guy on Batman, the other musician. And if you... Composer. I forget the guy who played the chief. Neil Hamilton.

Oh, you mean Commissioner Gordon? Oh, you mean Stafford Rep. On Car 54, there was the chief who used to talk like that. Oh, gosh. What was that actor's name? Oh, you know what? Can someone look that up? Hang on. We'll edit it in.

I got it right here. Was it, you mean Officer Nicholson? Oh, no. Nicholson was that kind of red-haired guy. Officer Kissel was Bruce Kirby, Bruno Kirby's father. Oh, wow. No, he was the chief. Paul Reed.

Paul Reed. Paul Reed. Paul Reed. Very funny. Captain Block. On the show. And I, well, Charlotte Ray, I remember one scene she has, she's arguing with Schnauzer, Al Lewis, and she's angry because he never takes her out anywhere. And she goes, please, let's go out somewhere.

We'll go to the movies. We'll go out for ice cream. Let's stand on the corner. Maybe we'll see an accident. Oh, I love it. And it had great stuff like that. Yes, yes. We got to get Charlotte Rae.

So we'll see you next week. Give it a crash! Collosal Obsessions Colossal Obsessions