Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini-Ep #48: Happy Birthday Jackie Gleason

Episode Date: February 25, 2016

Each week, comedian Gilbert Gottfried and comedy writer Frank Santopadre share their appreciation of lesser-known films, underrated TV shows and hopelessly obscure character actors -- discussing, dissecting and (occasionally) defending their handpicked guilty pleasures and buried treasures. This week: Jack Frost returns! Ed Norton roasts Ralph Kramden! Groucho meets Crazy Guggenheim! And the Lone Ranger rides again! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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on Twitter at RealGilbertACP, and on Instagram, Gilbert Podfried, P-O-D-F-R-I-E-D. You see, it's kind of a pun on the last name. Ah, never mind. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. We're at, once again, Nutmeg Post with our engineer, Frank Verderoso. And this is Gilbert and Frank's. You hesitated. Yeah, I get scared. I've never been able to do this right once.

I don't mean to interrupt you, but I am going to interrupt you to say that it's actually Frank Verderosa. And we've been calling him Frank Verderoso. Oh, well, I thought he was one of the Marx Brothers. Gummo and Verderoso? Oh, yes. The least popular Marx Brother. Verderoso. And Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal obsessions.

Beautiful. A thing of beauty. Now, I just want to do what I guess they call a little house cleaning at the start of the show. Oh, jeez. To update, because we've got this runner going about Bob Hope. Coming back to four weeks ago when you changed your colossal obsession at the last minute. About joys. Well, first we were talking about the old bad specials and Jack Frost.

Yes. Which is, again, if our listeners have not seen the Jack Frost. Oh, you owe it to yourself. Owe it to yourself. And then that led us to joys, which I found, which somebody sent us, by the way. It's on Facebook now because it was posted. I haven't watched it yet. I'm scared.

I'm going to expose you to it. And then that somehow led to, I don't watched it yet. I'm scared. I'm going to expose you to it. And then that somehow led to, I don't know, we were talking about all-star shows, and then we got to talking about Murder Can Hurt You. Yeah, with John Biner and Victor Buono. Right, and Jamie Farr. Yes. But we got our old pal Steve Stoliar. From the Groucho show we did.

And I got an email from Steve saying that a Bob Hope writer, because we're putting that out in the universe, and a Bob Hope writer got in touch with us. I think Casey Keller is his name, and wants to talk to us about writing for some of the Hope specials.

So we're going to have to have Casey, if I'm getting the name right, on a future mini-episode, just to talk a little bit about Bob. How they propped him up and covered him with icicles. And they stuck like a little pointed white beard on him. He looked like he had died a year before. the year before. And he was attempting to sing,

and he had no real voice left. No. He used to talk like that. Ain't that worse like that, you know? I'm Jack Frost! I'm Jack Frost! I like when Dolores keeps saying, but he's so nice.

Oh, Lordy. Anyway, so there's an update on the Bob Hope situation. For all of you who are sitting at the edges of your seats going, gee, what's the latest on that Bob Hope situation? What's the latest news on Bob Hope? Oh, God. Oh, and I have to show you, speaking of joys and murder can hurt you. Oh, wait. This just in about Georgie Chessel.

There's more interest in this than you think. If you don't read the Facebook page or the Twitter. Somebody sent me a wonderful collection and one of these all-star cast kind of things When the West Was Fun. Oh, yes. And I gotta show this to you because it's like the western equivalent of

Joys. They pull out, Larry's in it. Larry Storch is in it. Oh my god. They pull out every Western star from the last 40 years. Clayton Moore shows up and the Rifleman. You gotta look for this thing. I think it's how the West was fun or when the West was fun. And why don't

you start us off this week? Why don't you tell us what you're thinking about? I can't think of anything. What are you thinking about? Want to talk about skeleton nags? Ah, yes. No, we've talked about skeleton nags. Oh, I can't think of any. What are you thinking about? Want to talk about skeleton nags? Oh, yes. No, we've talked about skeleton nags. Oh, this is interesting. It is the 100th, 100th year of Jackie Gleason's birth.

And this Friday... We should send them a card. We really should. This Friday, I think February 26th, is Jackie's birthday, and he would have been 100, or it's the centenary. Do I have that word right? Now, what I remember about Gleason, you know, everyone remembers the classic honeymoons.

Sure. But then they brought back the lost episodes, which sucked to high heaven. Remember all the anticipation for those when they finally got them at a legal wrangling? Oh, my God. This is going to be a gift. You know, and they were horrible. Yeah, he was angry and too skinny. Yeah, and she was like, you know, angry too.

You know, like kind of a bitter. They didn't have the formula down. It was the Chester Riley version of Gleeson. He wasn't chubby enough for the chubby jokes to work. And there was just too much animosity between them. Oh, yeah. Energy was off. And I think there was one where he even goes, I'm going to bust your head open or I'm going to punch you or I'll kill you.

And it's like, wait, wait. To the moon, I like. Well, this is the thing about, like the Stooges, there are women who don't like the honeymooners because he's always threatening his wife. And you try to tell them, no, he loves her. She's the brains of the outfit. And it's a romance, but they don't buy it. And what I remember, too, is in the 70s, or was it the 60s, they had the musical honeymooners from Florida.

Yeah. And that was, they would, it was with Sheila McRae. And Jane Keene. Yeah. And Gleason had one of these orange-brown tans. Right. That you say, how does a Brooklyn bus driver get a tan like? He leaves a little vent window open.

Yeah. Yeah. And he had his pinky ring and everything. Yeah, the gnocchi ring. With a giant diamond on it. And he would break into a song. Like, there was one episode, he was having an argument with Norton, and they stopped talking.

And then the band strikes up and he goes, if I was talking to him, I'd really get hot. I tell him not a gentleman. He's certainly not. If I was talking to him, which I ain't, if I was talking to him, I'd really let go. I tell, I, I, I, I, oh, if I was talking to him, he'd certainly know exactly and precisely where I want him to go. If I was talking to him, which I ain't. Great. Yeah. I remember those. And, and Carney would sing.

Oh, yes. And Sheila McRae, who I guess was a singer. Yeah. Her father. And Carney would sing. Oh, yes. And Sheila McRae, who I guess was a singer. Her father was Gordon McRae. Oh, yeah. Oklahoma. But I remember them being real cheese ball. They were on Saturday nights, I think, and my grandparents were into them. And I remember the bad backdrops.

Oh. They would go to Europe. Oh, my God. It was supposedly the Honeymooners in Paris. Oh, my God, yes. or the Honeymooners in London. And they just, well, you know, they made you long for the original 39. And I heard, and I don't know if this is true, but, you know, if anything, a story from Artie Lang is certainly reputable. Oh, yeah. It's got to be vetted.

When has something that Arnie Lang said had been anything less than trustworthy? So he told me, I think he's the one who told me, that Gleason and Henny Youngman lived in the same neighborhood. Okay. And Gleason used to bully and beat up Henny Youngman. God, please let this be true. Every day. And Henny Youngman, who, I mean, you know, he's a schlubby looking guy, but he's big. He was always a big guy.

He was a schlubby-looking guy, but he's big. He was always a big guy. He finally said to Gleason, he goes, you put one more hand on me and I'll kill you. And Gleason stopped. Really? Yeah. Where does he come up with this information?

Is this in Henny's autobiography? Take my allowance money, please. Where did he come up with this? Was it in a book about Gleason? I have no idea. You've got to call Artie. Artie said so, and gosh darn it, I believe it. Well, Gleason is from East New York. Yes.

In Brooklyn. A really tough area. My dad's old neighborhood. Yeah, yeah. In fact, my dad, he was some, Gleason wasn't even that famous then when my dad was growing up, but people in the neighborhood knew him because he had a big presence. But I got to check that one out. Yeah. That could be another one of those weird Hollywood myths that we're perpetuating on this show.

Then I think that then they got to know each other, and Henny used to throw orange wedges at Jackie Gleason's ass. What are the odds? And it was an easy target. During the Depression? You needed that orange? Yes. You know, Groucho used to carry the orange around in his pocket. Did you know that?

Did you ever see the Marx Brothers in a nutshell? No. Well, Groucho, who had suffered through the Depression, always carried an orange in case he was starving. And he could peel the orange and eat it. It was not in case he ran into Caesar. And then he would have to go hungry because the important thing was to fling the orange at Caesar's ass. That's the sound of fried chicken with a spicy history. Thornton Prince was a ladies' man. To get revenge, his girlfriend hid spices in his fried chicken. He loved it so much,

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Let's talk about the original 39, because we haven't talked about it since we had Artie on the show. We haven't done it in 100 Moodles, and this is a perfect time, because we're in the Gleason 100th year. What's your favorite of the original 39? Oh, God. Because there's so many good ones. I think my favorite is the one where she's a blabbermouth.

That's a great one. With the dictation. Yes, the dictation. Yeah, the dictaphone. Hello, buttercup. What is it? Or how it's said, hello, bunny. Yeah.

This is old buttercup. Right. And Carney tears up in the other room. There's so many good ones. I like the Chef of the Future. Oh, great ones. Yeah, yeah. And, and. I like the Masquerade Future. Oh, great ones. Yeah, yeah. And, and, um...

I like The Masquerade Party. Oh, yes. When he's the man from space. And that's where he ad-libs a line, because one of the pieces falls off. That's it. And he goes, give me that. That's my denaturation. Yeah, and he gets a big laugh.

And it's weird watching those shows, because you can hear outbursts from the audience. Oh! In certain episodes. There is one part that I wish they would cut out in one of the outbursts. Is it when the person yells, don't fall down? No, no, not that. Because you can hear that one. Oh, oh. I think it's in the roller skating. There's one part, because it's a very funny thing, where he gets really, when he makes the dictaphone tape, and first he gets angry and curses her and her mother out, and then he makes the sweet one.

You're pouring out your heart or your liver? Yeah. I know she doesn't mean to be mean. She was just born that way. She doesn't mean to be mean. She was just born that way. And Norton sends the wrong tape over. And she comes over and he goes,

Alice, did you get the tape? I meant every word of it. And she goes, yes. My mother was just, doesn't mean to be mean. She was just born that way. Well, I'm glad I finally know. And she storms out. And Gleeson angrily pulls open the window. And you expect him to yell.

And he goes, Norton. It's great. It's great. He really sells that. Someone in the audience goes, Norton. Really? I never caught that one. It's weird.

I wonder if the audience was miked or something because you hear people. Oh, yeah. There's the episode where he's trying to be young again. He's trying to recapture his youth. Oh, yeah. Do the huckle buck. The huckle buck. And in that, because we only know these because we've seen them each a hundred times.

Oh, my God, yeah. But it got so, I've seen them each a hundred times. Oh, my God, yeah. But it got so, I've seen them so many times, it got so that I knew where people would shout things out in the audience. And someone pointed, I forget which episode this was, he accidentally called Alice Audrey. Really? Yeah. That I never caught. He starts to say, and then he stops and cringes. Interesting.

Yeah. They hold up so well, even now. And I remember a bit I used to do in my act that I still will, sure will pop up. Is this Casablanca? Yes. I was going to ask you about it. When I would go on Letterman, he would always ask me to do this. And that's Jackie Gleason and Casablanca.

Oh, you're getting on that plane with Vic Laszlo. You're getting on that plane, all right? And I know that you know that I know that you're getting on that plane. Because if you don't, you're going to regret it. Maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow, but shoot it for the rest of your life. That's brilliant. Still holds up.

Saw you do that at the comic strip in the 80s. Yes, yes, when I was 14. It still holds up, folks. Jackie Gleason in Casablanca. Now, we were talking before we turned the mics on, too, about some of Jackie's acting roles, and he was a very accomplished, serious actor. Great in The Hustler. And Requiem for Heavyweight.

Oh, yes, yes, with Mickey Rooney. Yeah, but also there are some black marks. There's Skidoo. With Groucho and one of our guests, Frankie Avalon. Yes, and Cesar Romero. So there's your connection. We've talked about Skidoo on the show. Horrible comedy.

We'll have Drew Friedman on again in the near future to talk a little bit more about Spindu, which he's obsessed with, and rightly so. And then we were talking about G. Go. Yes. G. Go was like... G-I-G-O-T. Yes. Yeah.

And not to be confused with the Jennifer Lopez movie, Sheely. But that would be a really lethal double bill. Yeah. Movies show double bills anymore. And in there he plays a mute. A French mute. Yes, a French mute.

So it's sort of like the worst of Chaplin and the worst of Jacques Tati. Yes. Yes. And it's like every comedian eventually wants to be Charlie Chaplin. Yeah, and do pathos like that. Yeah. Yeah.

And I think, I hope I'm not misspeaking here, but I think Gene Kelly directed that. Oh, I think you might be right. Yeah. Yeah. And Gleeson, of course, claims to have composed the music for that. Did he? Yes. Yeah. And Gleason of course claims to have composed the music for that. Did he? Yes. Like he used to come out with these albums, Music

for Lovers, which he claims he composed. He was ripping off Sammy Spear? Yeah, exactly. Well, Chaplin composed. Chaplin composed Smile. Oh, that's right. Smile, yeah. But he was really a multi-talented guy, Gleeson. He could do drama.

He could do comedy. Of course, people know, you know, Ralph Cramden is, of course, iconic. But we've also talked on previous shows about Joe the Bartender. Oh, yes. And Crazy Guggenheim and the Poor Soul. Hi, Joe. Hi, Mr. Zadier. You know, Crazy Guggenheim is not that far from old Groucho.

Oh, that's right. You know, when I work with Chico. They're cousins. They're cousins. He had a lot of talent. He did a lot of different things. Hey, Crazy. I welcomed a lot of talent. He did a lot of different things. Hey, Gracie. I welcomed

you to the park, Gracie. I just growled so... I love having a ringside seat for this stuff. And the other thing about Gleason is that he had a little bit of a latter-day

career in the 80s. A little resurgence. The 70s. And the other thing about Gleeson is that he had a little bit of a latter-day career. Yes. In the 80s. A little resurgence. The 70s. Yes. In the Burt Reynolds movies. Smokey and the Bandit. Yeah.

And we don't talk about the toy. Richard Pryor. Oh, God. Was that horrible. Yeah. And that kid's still around, lurching. Oh, that little kid of Scotty Schwartz? Scotty Schwartz. Yeah, yeah, yeah of Scotty Schwartz? Scotty Schwartz.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What happened to him? He went into porn. For a while, he tried to get into porn. Right. And I think as he phrased it, he tried it, but there was no wood in the lumberyard that day. This is sounding a lot like the Gleason bullying

Henny. And then Gleason and Richard Pryor started flinging orange wedges at Scotty Schwartz's head. What's the other Gleason movie with Steve McQueen that he's good in?

Oh, oh, oh, God. The Soldier in the Rain? What's the other Gleason movie with Steve McQueen that he's good in? Oh, oh, oh, God. The Soldier in the Rain? Oh, I think so. Yes, yes. That's good, too. Yeah. Yeah, he did a lot, and The Hustler. You know, he did a lot of great stuff.

Yeah, and The Hustler, I remember him going. Terrific serious actor. Play pool fast, Eddie. Playing Minnesota Fats. Yeah. Basically a character based on Minnesota Fats. But a real renaissance man who could do a lot of things and then later on

Jonathan Winters would play in a Twilight Zone episode with Jack Klugman very good and I like Leeson towards the end and it might be the last film he ever made was Nothing in Common with Hanks where he's good.

He and Avery Saint. I thought, I remember that movie. I thought it was running hot and cold, but all the scenes with Gleeson worked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, of course, we have to mention the Dean Martin roast. Oh. Where Carney roasted him as Ed Norton.

Oh, that was a little sad. Because Carney was like 90 years old. I know. I know. So, anyway, I think we should maybe get Joyce Randolph on the show. Yes. And do a proper, full Jackie Gleason episode. Now, so Joyce Randolph from the original.

Yes, we have to get her. I think she's in the New York area. I'm not sure about that. She may have retired to Florida. we have to get her. I think she's in the New York area. I'm not sure about that. She may have retired to Florida, but we should get Joyce. And I don't think Jane Keene is around either. I think, or maybe she is. Sheila McRae died. But I don't know who's around from the original cast, well, the second cast.

Anyway, Joyce Randolph's the only survivor from the original cast. Yeah, and I remember when he would do Joe the Bartender. On the Gleason show. Yeah, yeah. And he'd sing a song. I forget how he would sing it. And then he would rub the bar with the

cloth and he'd go, So, Groucho. Hi, Joe Joe Hi, Mr. Johnny So, happy birthday, Jackie Gleason Happy 100th And we should really do a full show about him And fuck you

If you ever were threatening any young men as the very reliable Artie Lang. This is misplaced anger. This is like you're suddenly angry with Burgess Meredith. He wouldn't give a quote about Lon Chaney Jr. So fuck you, Burgess Meredith. You're burning a lot of bridges. Yeah. Burgess Meredith, I hope you're in hell sucking Hitler's dick.

By the way, I got a lot of emails about your Hitler story with Dick Van Dyke. Hitler's grandson. That went over big. So for future episodes, we'll track Joyce Randolph and we'll try to do a full proper episode about Jackie. And then we're going to talk to the Bob Hope writer. So gird your loins. Okay. So I think this has been Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Obsession.

And I got a good one for you next week. Ooh. Yeah, you're going to one for you next week. Ooh. Yeah, you're going to have to wait. Okay. Bye. Here we go. One, two, one, two, three, two. Gilbert and Frank's Col colossal obsessions Give me that fract, colossal obsessions Give me that fract, colossal obsessions