Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini-Ep #49: 70s and 80s Cop Shows

Episode Date: March 3, 2016

Each week, comedian Gilbert Gottfried and comedy writer Frank Santopadre share their appreciation of lesser-known films, underrated TV shows and hopelessly obscure character actors -- discussing, dissecting and (occasionally) defending their handpicked guilty pleasures and buried treasures. This week: Peter Lorre sells antiques! Pat Morita solves crimes! Valerie Perrine disrobes! And Gilbert hangs with Charlie Sheen! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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With over 30 ways to save, nobody seems like Dave. me feel like I scored my own jingle. Save on home and auto like only you can at tdinsurance.com slash ways to save. T.D. Ready for you. Don't forget to follow us on our Facebook page, Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast, on Twitter at Real Gilbert ACP and on Instagram Gilbert Podfried P-O-D-F-R-I-E-D. You see, it's kind of a pun on the last name. Ah, never mind. okay i'm gilbert godfrey and i'm here with my co-host frank santopadre and this is let's see if i get it right this time gilbert and frank's amazing colossal obsessions perfection and where i once again at Nutmeg Studios. Engineer Frank Verderosa. Or Verderoso.

He's not a Marx brother this week. Verderosi. Thanks again, Frankie. Yes. Now, what do you have? I beg your pardon? I'm laughed out. Sip lips.

I'm laughed out. We just had the great Michael McKeon here. I'm laughed out. We just had the great Michael McKeon here. You know, this was something I was inspired by. You bringing up Murder Can Hurt You. Oh, yes. Which was a parody of, it was a murder by death.

Making fun of all of the TV shows. The TV cops. Yeah, like Starsky and Hutch and Columbo. Buck Owens plays McCloud. Oh, yeah. And they've got, they literally roll in Victor Bono as Ironside. Yeah, and Starsky and Hutch, it's Jamie Farr and John Beiner. And Tony Danza shows up as a Beretta character. Oh, yes.

And Burt Young, I think, is Columbo. So I got to thinking, I was just sitting at home thinking, well, what do I do for an obsession? And this is not focused on one thing, but I started thinking about TV cop shows from the 70s. Less so from the 80s and the 60s, more from the 70s. And I thought, gee, I wonder how many of these Gilbert remembers. And I wanted to see where I could go with this. Oh, I remember a show. It didn't last long. It was one of the few shows that wanted to try out a black detective.

Was it Tenafly? Yep. I have it on my list. You're the only person besides myself. Okay, now wait a minute. Tenafly. The actor's name was James McKeachin. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I don't know what... He turned up in the 2001 sequel with Roy Scheider. Do you remember they made 2010? It was a sequel to Kubrick's 2001. Oh, yes, yes, yes. He's in that. Very obscure. I think that was part of the NBC Thursday Night Mystery movie.

Yeah, because it had that look and feel of all of those, like the one with Name of the Game. Right, but Name of the Game wasn't part of the NBC Mystery movie. Name of the Game was, I think, a stand-up. The one with Tony Francioso? Yeah, that was Tony Francioso. Then there was Rock Hudson. Macmillan and Wife was part of it. Was part of it.

There were four on Sunday in rotation. And the four were Columbo, Macmillan and Wife, McCloud. Oh, McCloud! That's the one. And something called Hack Ramsey with Richard Boone, which was a Western. Yeah. And those were, if I have this right, and somebody will correct me, Gino Salamone will call me a correcter.

Those were the four on Sunday, and they had such success with it that they trotted out a Thursday night version, and that was the Snoop Sisters. Do you remember this? Oh, my God, yes. With Helen Hayes. Yes. And Mildred Natwick. Do you remember her? Oh, my God, yes. With Helen Hayes. Yes. And Mildred Natwick.

Do you remember her? Yeah. Oh, yeah. There was one called McCoy with Tony Curtis. This was the Thursday night. I believe that's where Tenafly lived on Thursday night, and I can't remember what the hell the fourth one was. Do you remember a show called Bracken's World?

Yes. Having nothing to do with Eddie Bracken. Yeah. Why didn't you remember it by title? The world was fascinated with Eddie Bracken's career. Who isn't? Who isn't? Eddie Bracken.

So it was Bracken's World. It was a Wally World for our listeners that want to make a contemporary connection. And it was all about Hollywood or what we want to imagine film studios to be like. And what I remember about Bracken's World, and when I did an episode of Anger Management. Okay, I remember when you did that. I did an episode of Anger Management. Okay. I remember when you did that.

And I brought this up to Charlie Sheen and to one of his brothers, Ramon Estevez. Okay. Neither one of them knew. Bracken's World. Yeah. But what I remember is, see, the movie, the subject was roses. That was Jack Albertson and Martin Sheen. I remember. Young Martin Sheen, like fresh out of the army, young handsome guy.

And they were like, you know, the father and son who couldn't get along with each other, a drama. You know, the father and son who couldn't get along with each other, a drama. And then I remember shortly afterwards, they did an episode of Bracken's World called My Father Never Spanked Me. Interesting. Starring Jack Albertson as an old vaudeville comic and Martin She sheen as this uh selfish nasty nightclub so they were just ripping off the subject was roses yeah but they changed the who was the star of bracken's world was it peter castner oh and i'm not looking i'm not looking this up i don't know who was the i gotta i gotta figure that out but yeah i remember they cast them again as father and son what did it have to do with cop shows?

Yeah, I don't know. It just got to... I think one time Martin Sheen's house might have been held up, and he called a cop. I was waiting for you to come back around the bend, and you left me standing at the curb. Well, he was a vaudevillian, and he was a nightclub comic, but at night, they were cops. If anybody knows what the fourth, and Paul, here's our researcher, Paul Rayburn.

I don't have anything like a Bracken's World. You got Bracken's World? What do we got? Okay, Bracken's World, Peter Haskell. Oh, my God, yes, yes. I was thinking of the other guy, the Peter, what did I say? Laurie. No, no, not Peter Laurie.

In fact, there was, I think there was a very, very short-lived show. That was Secret Squirrel. A very short-lived show of, and I've never seen an episode where they cast Vincent Price and Peter Lorre as I think they were antique store owners who would sell friends. Oh, yes, I've heard you bring this up. I've heard you bring this up. Didn't you bring this up for Vincent Price's daughter and she didn't know what you were talking about? That's a stumper. Okay, these are some of the shows.

a stumper. Okay, these are some of the shows, since you bring up Ten of Fly, and Paul, try to find out what the fourth NBC mystery movie segment was on Thursday nights. You remember McCoy? I think he was a master of disguise with Tony Curtis. Oh, yes. Maybe he was a former

I'm pulling this out of my butt, but maybe he was like a former Hollywood makeup man, and he was a master of disguise, or I'm wrong. All of those cheap set ups. Here's some from and he was a master of disguise, or I'm wrong. Yeah, all of those cheap setups. Here's some from the 70s. Tenafly, Dan August with Burt Reynolds and your man Norman Fell. Yes. Yeah, I love Norman Fell.

Banachek with George Pappard. Yes, yes. Okay, here's a good one. Ten Speed and Brown Shoe. Oh, wait a second. That was 1980, actually. Wait, wait. Ten Speed and Brown Shoe. That wasn't Jeff Goldblum was 1980, actually. Wait, wait. 10 Speed and Brown Shoe.

That was in Jeff Goldblum, was it? You bet. And Ben Vereen. Yes. Did you ever see it? And yes, and then there was also a black and white cop thing, very short lived with Don Adams. Yeah, that was called The Partners. Yeah.

With Rupert Cross and Don Adams. Yeah. Yeah, but that was a comedy. Yeah. Yeah, these were kind of legit cop shows. There was Toma, which we've talked about. Oh, my God, yes. With Tony Musante, who you brought up in the incident.

Yes. How about this one? Long Street, we've talked about. Oh, the blind guy. James Franciscus. Yes, he was a blind detective. From Beneath the Planet of the Apes. You remember a show called The Eddie Capra Mysteries?

Oh. Does that ring a bell? Not as much. How about Bill Bixby in The Magician? Yes, yes, because I heard Bill Bixby in real life was a major magic fan. Really? So he wanted to be a magician. I didn't know that.

Yeah. That's good stuff. Barnaby Jones, of course people know how about switch with eddie albert and robert wagner oh yes does this ring a bell yeah i think they were con men yeah yeah but again i didn't research these i just wrote them down and some by memory scary enough bixby yeah bill bixby was in that TV production of Steam Bath. Written by Drew's daddy. Yes.

Yes. And that's where the very naked Valerie Perrine. Only I could write down on a card, Helen Hayes and Milton Green that way, and you would somehow get to naked Valerie Perrine. Valerie Perrine used to be excellent for taking our clothes off. She was. Maybe we should call Valerie Perrine. We got to call her. Not for the podcast.

Just to see if she sold enough. Yeah. How about this one? O'Hara, U.S. Treasury with David Jansen. Oh, my God. Yes. SWAT. We remember SWAT.

That was remade as a movie. It was a bad movie. Now, what I remember about all those shows of that era, well, also, whatchamacallit, Jack Klugman's show. Quincy. Yeah, also from the 70s. Right. Quincy might have crossed into the 80s. Maybe it was the late 70s.

I think you're right. But all of those shows, they'd have them solve the crime, shoot the killer on the brig, and then there'd be a commercial, and then they'd come back for the funny ending. That's right. Yeah.

That's right. Which we talked about with, I think, Robert Wool or somebody, or Judy Gold, which was parodied in Police Squad. Oh, yes. Because they would have the fake freeze frame at the end, like the new Geico commercials. Oh, yeah.

Here's a couple other ones. How about David Cassidy, Man Undercover? Yes, I do remember that. I think that was a Fred Silverman joint. Now, was David Cassidy, did he do an episode? There was that show, police show. Police Story. Police Story.

Right, this might have spun off from Police Story. I think so. And I think, oh, whatchamacallit, I think Gabe Kaplan played a cop. Gabe Kaplan? Yeah, Gabe Kaplan. That one escaped me. This is a paid advertisement from BetterHelp. As a podcast listener, you've heard from us before.

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Go to patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried. That's patreon, P-A-T-R-E-O-N dot com slash Gilbert Gottfried. And thank you for your generosity. Wait, Paul Rayburn? Here's one of the things that was part of that. NBC mystery movie. We said that one. We told that already.

Tenafly. That was the first thing we said. We sat down in the chair and we said Tenafly. And you come in an hour later, just shut the fuck up. Really shut the fuck up. We said Tenafly. That was the fuck up. Really, shut the fuck up. We said Tenafly. That was the first thing. He's thinking of moving his family to Tenafly, New Jersey.

We hadn't even introduced it yet. Okay, here we go. I love you, Paul. You're telling me I made a mistake. Please don't talk again. Sunday Mystery Movie was Columbo, McCloud. The original four were Columbo, three. The original three were Columbo, McLeod. Three. The original three were Columbo, McLeod, and Macmillan and Wife.

Then they expanded it to Columbo, McLeod, Macmillan and Wife, Heck Ramsey. I don't know how he was a guy who solved crimes in the Old West. And Madigan with, I think, Richard Widmark. Oh, that could be. Or there was a movie Madigan with Richard Widmark and Henry Fonda. Cool Million? Don't know what that is. And Banachek with George Pappard, who would later do the A-Team.

And then they added Tenafly. They added the Snoop Sisters. Okay, so now the cowboy one that you just mentioned. Heck Ramsey? No, no, no. Yeah. You know, no, no. Yeah. You know, the cop cowboy. Oh, McLeod.

McLeod. That was based on that Clint Eastwood movie. Coogan's Bluff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think I got this all screwed up. I think it started as a Wednesday and then it moved to Sunday.

It was also, for a period of time, it was on Tuesday, according to them. Right. And something called Amy Prentiss? I don't know that at all. What I remember about the 70s cop shows and other shows around that time, it's when they started to make it look more like movies. Like they would go like Peter Falk in. Right. That's right.

And it was like a movie opening. That's right. Let's see. Do you remember Amy Prentiss? Here's McCoy with Tony Curtis. Faraday and Company. Oh, the title sounds vaguely familiar. I want to say that Stephanie Powers was in that, but I'm just

basically guessing. And Quincy. I didn't know Quincy started out as part of that series. And of course, who could forget Lanigan's Rabbi. Oh, wait. I'm going to assume this was a crime-solving moil.

Yeah. Who was in this? You've got to look up Lanigan's Rabbi. I'm going to say, who was that Irish actor who was in like, he was in All the Family? Oh, Barnard Hughes. Barnard Hughes. I'm going to say, who was that Irish actor who was in, like, he was in All the Family? Oh, Barnard Hughes. Barnard Hughes.

Right, he's in Where's Papa. I'm getting a feeling he might have been in this. Okay, while Paul is researching that, here's a couple of quick ones. Do you remember a British show called My Partner the Ghost? No. From the 60s? How about Roger Moore and Tony Curtis and the Persuaders? That I remember.

In fact, I remember on the Persuaders, they had in one episode, they're in a hotel lobby, and they go, Paging Bernie Schwartz. Oh, that's a great inside joke. Because that was Tony Curtis's name. And how about Griff with Lorne Green? Does that mean anything to you? A 70s cop show? Oh.

Moving on to the 80s real quickly. Joe Dancer with Robert Blake. Yeah. Don't remember it. B.L. Stryker with Burt Reynolds. Oh, like both titles sound familiar. Yeah. B.L. Stryker was like T.J. Hooker.

Yeah, yeah. Magruder and Loud. Now that one sounds a lot more familiar, but I know not a goddamn chance. You know, Paul Thomas Anderson, who made Boogie Nights and Magnolia, two of my favorite movies, his father was Ernie Anderson, who was a voiceover guy. Did you know this? No. He was a famous voiceover guy for ABC, and he was the guy that used to say,

Coming up on the love boat. Oh, wow. And then it's Magruder and Loud. Remember this guy? Yes. That was Ernie Anderson. I got Lannigan's Rabbi. You're going to love this.

You got Lannigan's Rabbi? Yeah. It lasted half the year in 1977. Bruce Solomon. I remember Bruce Solomon. He was on Mary Hartman. And Art Carney. Art Carney.

Oh. Oh. Shame on us Wow That is a goddamn shame I guess he was Lanigan I guess so He was the rabbi

It was I would kill to see Art Carney He was so versatile Art Carney He made such a convincing Jew Good stuff Paul Directed by John Astin convincing Jew. Good stuff, Paul. Directed by John Astin.

John Astin directed... Now we have to get John Astin. John Astin, by the way, is number one on my get list. I just want to put that out there. So we're going to chase after John. You're going to have to zero right in on Lannigan. He's in Baltimore. And I also want my old co-star...

Who do you want? Alan Arkin. Yep, we can work on Alan Arkin. You just want Valerie Perrine, don't bullshit me. And from the 80s, Magruder and Loud. I just like saying that. Jake and the Fat Man. Yes, with the Canon. Yeah, William Conrad.

Made a comeback. Cop Rock. Oh my god, yes. Let's not forget Cop Rock. That was one of those shows where the cops and the criminals and it was not a comedy no no the cops and the criminals would break into song and dance steven bochco yeah yeah and then we've seen a little too much dennis potter a little too much of the singing detective. And they didn't learn their lesson, and then years later they did Vegas.

Oh, yes. Where it's a drama that takes place in Vegas where the characters break into certain areas. That was called Vegas? Was it Las Vegas? Was it Dan Urich, the Robert Urich show? Look that up. And don't take Tenafly. I think the same crew was involved in Tenafly.

You can't fire the guy. You're not paying him. And then there was Beverly Hills. What do you got? I forgot what I'm looking up. What are you looking up? What do you want him to look up? Oh, the musical.

Vegas. Vegas. Vegas. Yeah, that was a fairly recent. How about Beverly Hills Bunts with Dennis Franz? Yes, yes. That one I'm vaguely familiar. I knew it was Dennis Franz. Okay, and the last one,

two last ones, this I never heard of. There was a cop show called, not O'Hara, O'Hara with Pat Morita. Even I'm offended. Something I did not think was possible. And then your old pal Jack Warden, this is the last one on my list, Crazy Like a Fox. Oh, I don't remember that. But Jack Warden. That's what I got on my list. Crazy Like a Fox. Oh, I don't remember that.

But Jack Warden. That's what I got. He would have been a great guest. Jack Warden? Jack Warden, yeah. It's a long-distance call, my friend. Yes. So it was Vegas 1978.

Is that the right one? No, that was the one with Robert Urich. Well, this one in 1978 is Dennis Quaid. Dennis Quaid. No, no. Michael Chiklis. This is a different one. So the other one is in the 2000s.

This could have been the 90s. 90s. Okay. Somebody will solve it for us. Did you have anything you wanted to bring up this week, or you just want to go off this silliness? Well, let's see. How long have we done? You got five minutes.

So far. Yeah. Darryl will yell at us for doing such a long episode. We'll have to see if there's another cop show we left out Okay, well I got some from the 60s You want to go back to Felony Squad Naked City Oh yeah

Honey West with Anne Francis Oh yes I never saw these I'm happy to say these are before my time Hawk with Burt Reynolds Oh my god I just hocked up something are before my time. Hawk with Burt Reynolds. Oh, my God. I just hawked up something. Hawk.

Hawk. Pre-Dan August. And Surfside Six. Oh, my God. I guess they were beach bums who solved crimes. I guess that was sort of like Route 66. One of the stars was Van Williams, who became the Green Hornet. Oh, yes.

Yeah, that's all I got. Which, there you go, the Green Hornet with Bruce Lee. Yeah, one season. Yeah. Well, one unfortunate season where they didn't spend any money on that show. What about Mrs. Columbo? Oh, my God, what was her name? Kate Mulgrew.

Kate Mulgrew. Yeah. That was one of those horrible ideas. Not as bad as Lannigan's Rabbi. Yeah. Of course, the whole point on Columbo was that you never saw Mrs. She was this figure that he would say, oh, yeah, my wife. And that was it.

But you never saw her. You're not supposed to see her. It's kind of like giving a show to Vera, Norm's wife, on Cheers. Yes. Vera! With an exclamation point. Or if they had a show based on Phyllis Diller's husband, Fang. Right.

Or spooky old Alice. Yes. George Goldwell's wife. What do you got, Rayburn? There are so many shows filmed in Vegas or called Vegas. There was a show called Las Vegas on NBC 2003 to 2008. That's the one. Who was in it?

Let me see. Let me get to it. And, of course, there was that Joe, Mrs. Calabay. Right. James Caan. No, that's not it either. James Caan, no. He didn't sing.

No, no. I'd like to see that. He was in another show that took place in Vegas. This isn't the one. Okay, so this is the mystery of this week. What was the, we'll put it out for our fans. The musical Vegas. What was the musical?

Was it a cop show? Yeah, no, no. It just took place in Vegas. And people broke into song. Yeah. We're going to have to come back in the next mini episode and answer this. We'll be back in the next mini episode for the answer to this question? This is horrible.

Did you look up musical Vegas drama? Gilbert, I know I'm letting you down here. Vegas musical, that should do it, right? Yeah. I'm exhausted. Anything else you want to say? Yeah. About Mrs. Columbo? anything else you want to say yeah about mrs colombo i'm gonna say you coming in here

was the worst thing because it's pretty clear to me now you didn't serve any purpose you come in and say tenafly we go we we talked about that an hour ago. He's just yelling towns in New Jersey. And then we just say, okay, just to make you seem like you're worth 10 cents here, we said, hey, could you look up that Vegas show? Which we figure would be like the easiest thing on the fucking planet. But come on, he found us Lanigan's rabbi. I think he more than redeemed himself. planet. But come on, he found us Lanigan's rabbi. I think he more than redeemed himself. Well, this has

been Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal obsession with I guess Tenorfly and its sequel, Tenorfly. James McEachin. Hook him up. Is he still alive? I hope so.

Probably not. What if somebody sends this to him? He's in 2010. That's as obscure as I'm going to get. We'll see you next time. Give me that fract, colossal obsessions Give me that fract, colossal obsessions Give me that fract, colossal Obsessions