Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini-Ep #54: MORE Cop Buddy Movies and Unsung Films Of The 70's

Episode Date: April 7, 2016

Each week, comedian Gilbert Gottfried and comedy writer Frank Santopadre share their appreciation of lesser-known films, underrated TV shows and hopelessly obscure character actors -- discussing, dissecting and (occasionally) defending their handpicked guilty pleasures and buried treasures. This week: Steven Weber joins the discussion! Remembering Paul Winchell! Praising John Ritter! And Red Buttons performs in a men's room! This episode is sponsored by Seeso. Comedy’s experiencing a serious renaissance right now, and Seeso is a comedy streaming service tailor-made for comedy-lovers and nerds, with thousands of hours of the best comedy, 24/7/365. Go to http://Seeso.com and start watching all the comedy you can stream for free. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Has Tim's got a treat for you? Well, actually, a treat in a treat. Get ready for Tim's Dream Cookies. Now in three delicious flavours. Double Stuff Oreo, Caramel, and Reese's Minis. They're soft, chewy, and baked fresh daily. Try one today at participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. This episode is brought to you by FX's The Bear on Disney+.

In Season 3, Carmi and his crew are aiming for the ultimate restaurant accolade, a Michelin star. With Golden Globe and Emmy wins, the show starring Jeremy Allen White, Io Debrey, and Maddie Matheson is ready to heat up screens once again. All new episodes of FX's The Bear are streaming June 27,

only on Disney+. This episode is sponsored by CISO. Comedy is experiencing a serious renaissance right now. Gil, did you know that? Yes, I noticed with the paintings and the classical music. CISO is a comedy streaming service. It's tailor-made for comedy lovers and nerds. We don't know any of those.

No, no, we're too cool. With thousands of hours of the best comedy 24-7, 365. So you go to CISO, S-E-E-S-O,.com, and you can start watching all the comedy you can stream for free. Hi, I'm Gilbert Gottfried, and this is... I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre, and we'll see if I remember the title. This week, it's Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Obsessions. I have wood.

And yes. Nicely done. And we're here once again at Nutmeg Post with our engineer, Frank Verderosa, and our special guest. Most of you remember him from Wings, Stephen Weber. Hi, boys. What are you doing today?

Thanks for sitting in, Stephen. What are you up to? Look who's coming down the road. It's Stephen. Whoa, Flossie. Whoa, Flossie. Yes, let's get those coconut shells. Since we've been talking the last time about buddy cop comedy.

Yes. A lot of people have been. Well, did we mention the like Running Scared? We did. Billy Crystal. There was also Red Heat. Red Heat with Schwarzenegger. And James Belushi.

We'll tell Stephen about how this started. We actually started talking, and this is right up your alley, about old 70s cop shows. Yes. Forgotten 70s cop shows. Yeah, yeah. Like Cannon. That's right. Brown, Longstreet.

Longstreet. Longstreet with James Francis. Right, the blind cop. Oh, yes, the blind detective. And his dog was named Pax. I don't remember that, but that's cool. That's cool shit. Longstreet Brownshoe and what?

Ten-Speed Brownshoe. And we were talking about the terrible idea of finally showing Columbo's wife. Mrs. Columbo. Kate Mulgrew. That's correct. Correct. Like the whole thing that was so much fun was that you heard about her and never saw her. Her vagina stank of cigar smoke.

I'm sure. Oh, that's funny. So it started out as a conversation about 70s cops and weird 70s cop shows. Mrs. Columbo and Holmes and Yo-Yo. Oh, my God. With John Shuck. Yes. John Shuck. Yes.

John Shuck. And all kinds of weird shit. And Tenafly. Tenafly. Tenafly. With James. Oh, if you know this, I'll be impressed. Tenafly.

James. Still with us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I can't remember his last name. It's an M. Oh, James Mc. McKeachin. James McKeachin. James McKeachin?

He's still alive? Tenafly's still alive? He's in 2010 with Roy Scheider. He's the guy. He's the government operative that's sitting on the park bench with Roy Scheider. Wow. But he's with us, so we could track him down. Anyway, and that somehow morphed into a conversation about bad buddy cop movies.

And we were doing the 70s ones, the good ones, like Freebie and the Bean. Freebie and the Bean. And what was the other one? Bustin' with Elliot Gould. Oh, yes. Was that Elliot Gould? And Electric Light in Blue. Robert Blake.

That's a good movie. That's a good movie. Oh, yeah. That's a good movie. That's an intense film. And then I remember. He went on to murder somebody apparently. Apparently.

There was Super Cops. Super Cops. Super Cops with Ron Liebman. Correct. And David. Somebody. Oh, Super Cops. Super Cops. Super Cops with Ron Liebman. Correct. And David... Somebody. Oh, wait. Oh, from Dark Shadows.

David Selby. David Selby. Who played Quentin. Holy Jesus. And Angelique. Remember the blonde Angelique? Oh, Lara Parker. Oh, you face me.

Nice. She was also in the movie Save the Tiger with Jack Lemmon. Had both Lara Parker from Dark Shadows and Thayer David. Thayer David. Also from Dark Shadows. Thayer David who's also in Little Big Man who played Dustin Hoffman, who played Faye Dunaway's wife. I mean this used to really get me fucking turned on because Faye Dunaway was gorgeous. She's bathing Dustin Hoffman and she's like feeling him up.

And that's my thing. That's what I like. To be bathed by Faye Dunaway and see Dustin Hoffman naked. I fucking love that. And see Dustin Hoffman naked. I fucking love that. And Thayer David was his new father, I guess his adoptive father. Yeah, Thayer David seemed like, at that time, he was the modern-day Sidney Greenstreet.

Yeah, I guess. But did he ever have that much to do? He was just kind of just walked in and said... Yeah, he was always like... Peter Bull was another English guy. Peter Bull. Peter Bull was kind of just walking in. He was always like, yeah. Peter Bull was another English guy. Peter Bull. Peter Bull was kind of a screen street. Sure, I remember him. Well, he's in Dr. Strangelove.

That's right. You can see him cracking up in the background. Peter Bull in Dr. Strangelove. When Peter Sellers hits his arm, hits his own arm so it won't, you know, seek Heil, Peter Bull in the background, you can see him cracking and they cut away. Wow. Yeah, it's there. Good stuff.

So that's how we got there. And then we did the TV Cops. That led to the buddy movies. Then we started doing bad buddy movies like Turner and Hooch. Oh, and the one with Joe Piscopo and Treat Williams. Oh, that was called Dead Heat. Where there are two cops after zombies. Sweet.

Right. And Street Williams is bitten by a zombie and he starts turning into a zombie. But they remain cops after the zombies. And then people started sending us buddy movie, different buddy movies. We talked about it. Stopper, My Mom Will Shoot. Oh, yes. With Fly and Estelle Getty.

Oh, my God. And there was one with Whoopi and a T-Rex. Oh, yeah. Theodore Rex. Right. And there's one with Burt Reynolds and a kid. Oh, that's right. Cop and a half.

Oh, and then, of course, Turner and Hooch. We said that. With a dog. And K9 with Jim Belushi. Oh, yes. And a dog. Anyway, that's where we left off. A lot of bad Jim Belushi, buddy.

Cop, cop. But Jim Belushi did a good movie with John Ritter, which I thought was called Hitmen or something men or something. Anyway, I can't figure it out. But it was pretty funny. I like Ritter in that Blake Edwards movie.

SOB? No, the one with the glow-in-the-dark condoms. Oh, that's right. With the weightlifter. The blonde weightlifter. What is the name of that movie? Oh, shit. I can't even think of the name of that movie. It was funny. It was a late Blake Edwards movie.

You like Blake Edwards? I do. Well, look, The Party is one of my favorite films. But I got to tell you, one of my favorite John Ritter films in which he plays a kind of a bizarrely low-key character is Bad Santa. Well, he has seen – Oh, yes. Yes. The manager of the department store.

He's seen some of the Bernie Mac that are so fucking funny. He's funny. Where Bernie Mac is described because they're describing Billy Bob Thornton's sodomizing somebody in the dressing room at this department store. And John Ritter is very uptight, kind of. You know, kind of. Bernie Mac, who's the store dick, you know, right? And they're classic scenes. And John

Ritter's like kind of a feminine. Very uptight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's probably kind of a... He's not out. His character's not out, but he objects to the idea that he said, I'll never S-H-I-T straight again. And all that stuff, yeah. He's good in the dramatic part in Sling Blade.

He's great. John Ritter. Not that he played many dramatic parts. No. I cannot think for the life of me of the name of this. Oh, there he was an out homosexual. What? In Sling Blade.

That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. Yeah. So you want to talk, this has no theme, this episode. It hasilling Blade. That's right. That's right. So you want to talk, this has no theme, this episode. Which is fine. You want to talk about Twilight Zone episodes? You guys seem to be...

What were we just talking about? We were talking about... Ritter. We'll clean this up in the editing, Steve. I don't care. See, that's when you've hit that point in your career. Nobody's listening to this. Who gives a shit?

I've said it so many times in these things that I do. Nobody's going to see this. Who cares? I'm just praying I pay the rent this month. That's it. That's right. That's right. I've got to go to the liquor store and cash a check.

And my father used to say that to me all the time. Okay, Dad, let's go. I've got to cash a check. Here's a weird thing somebody wrote and said. You know, now people are sending in ideas for Colossal Obsession. Somebody said, do you remember the superhero roast called Legends of the Superheroes from the 70s with Charlie Callis? No. Do you remember this awful thing?

Oh, God. Okay, I'll send it to you. Superhero roast. Really bad. With Paul Winchell. Oh, Paul Winchell, who invented an artificial heart. Right. Yes. Right. Yes.

Right, right. How about that? See, I mean, people don't remember Paul Winchell. Jerry Mahoney. Yeah, yeah. Winchell Mahoney time. Yeah, Hucklehead Smith. Hurrah.

Yeah, that's right. It's Winchell Mahoney time. Scotty Whitey Doo-Doo. Correct. Yes, yes. But he did. He invented an artificial heart. And he's forgotten about it.

Forgotten. Yeah. His daughter's around. She's on Facebook. Yeah. April. And maybe we should talk to her. April Winchell.

Yeah. Yeah. She's Paul Winchell's daughter. But is she like a casting person or a producer? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes.

I think I found shit, man. I think I worked with her and I didn't even make the connection. And Don Adams' daughter was a casting person. Don Adams. Cecily Adams. And Phil Silver's daughter. She did a Wings episode. Phil Silver's daughter, yeah. Phil Silver's.

I mean, there's another guy that's unbelievable. Another movie that kind of has these guys preserved is Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. It's a good one. It was Jack Guilford, who's fucking hilarious, man. Blacklisted. Was he blacklisted? Yeah, along with another blacklisted actor, Zero Mostel.

Zero Mostel, that's right. I just saw Fiddler on the Roof, actually, on Broadway now with Danny Burstein, who's fantastic. And I read that when they'd made the movie of Fiddler in the 70s with Topol, the tooth polish, they purposely didn't go with Zero because people did not like working with this guy. That's the truth.

That's what Josh told us. Oh, boy. Yeah. Yeah. It was so funny because we brought up with Josh Mostel, the son. That, like, I mean, it just seemed like sacrilege that you wouldn't have Zero Mostel immortalized in that part of the film. Which is why you don't see a lot of Zero Mostel. But he's, you know, the hot rock.

The hot rock is a great movie. Yeah, great movie. Fun movie. Yeah. Love that one. Yeah. George Segal, Robert Rayford. Ron Liebman again.

Ron Liebman. Wait, was it Moses Sand? Yeah, Paul Sand is around. Paul Sand. He's the one that swells the... Hilarious guy. Yeah. Paul Sand. Yeah, Paul Sand is around. Paul Sand. He's the one that swells the... Hilarious guy. Yeah. Paul Sand.

He's still around. I see Paul Sand. He's around. I think I just recently went to an eye doctor and was sitting next to Paul Sand. You didn't invite him on? I just... I was doing off. Thanks again to CISO for sponsoring today's episode.

If you like comedy... Then don't listen to our show. Don't listen to this podcast. And you want all your favorites in one place, CISO for sponsoring today's episode. If you like comedy... Then don't listen to our show. Don't listen to this podcast. And you want all your favorites in one place, CISO is for you. It's a premium comedy streaming service with original series, quotable classics, next day late night, stand-up specials,

and more. CISO for yourself. You like that little pun there? I like that. CISO's got all 40 seasons of... Wow, 40 seasons of Saturday wow 40 seasons of saturday night live including your season oh god no yeah that's what complete oh god that's that's hell plus the entire monty python library all of the kids in the hall parks and rec both versions of the office steve carell and ricky gervais and hilarious brand new exclusive stand-up series from people like Upright Citizens Brigade and Cameron Esposito, Dan Harmon.

We had Dan on the show. Oh, thanks. Our friends Scott Aukerman and Jonah Ray. Every single week plus, it's 100% ad-free and costs just $3.99 a month. Even better, you see-saw for yourself. I guess that's how they got the name. Oh, that's kind of a pun there, too. It's a wordplay.

Wow. For free, right now, only at see-saw.com. The Scorebet app here with trusted stats and real-time sports news. Yeah, hey, who should I take in the Boston game? Well, statistically speaking. Nah, no more statistically speaking. I want hot takes. I want knee-jerk reactions. That's

not really what I do. Is that because you don't have any knees? Or... The Scoreback. Trusted sports content. Seamless sports betting. Download today. 19+. Ontario only. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please go to connexontario.ca.

This is a paid advertisement from BetterHelp. As a podcast listener, you've heard from us before. gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please go to connexontario.ca. Thank you. That's right, Jessica Walter. She comes in here to record, Frankie told me. So we have to get Jessica Walter and Ron Liebman. Yes. Because Ron Liebman, where's Papa? Where's Papa? Fantastic. And all super cops. Funny actor. Yeah.

You know, you talk about sitting at the eye doctor next to Paul Sand. I once went to a dentist in L.A. And this guy actually was not a great dentist. But sitting in the waiting room or just finishing was Buddy Hackett. Oh, my God. Actually, he was not a great dentist, but sitting in the waiting room or just finishing was Buddy Hackett. Oh, my God. Who was doing schtick in the waiting room and actually had in a crumpled tissue one of his teeth had fallen out. And he decided to tell me. I knew who it was, obviously.

It was just some guy. Hey, kid. Look what I got in there. And it was disgusting. I wanted to retch, but I was thrilled. It was Buddy Hackett. Buddy Hackett. He opened up a tissue, and there's a bloody tooth in it.

Disgusting. Disgusting, I said. Okay. They did the producers out in L.A. And the show, the musical. And Jace Alexander and Martin Short did it. Oh, okay. And it was a big event and everybody was there.

And I went to the bathroom. And who's there doing schtick in the fucking bathroom at this theater? Red Buttons. Oh, my God. Standing, doing his act. Aaron Schwatt. Let me tell you. Aaron Schwatt was really hilarious. But ancient.

I mean, these guys can't stop. They can't stop. Funny man. See, this is the thing we were talking about. These are the guys we missed out on. Ah, yeah, you missed out. No hat hit, no red button. Here's what I thought I remember was really sad.

I once got invited to this event called the Big Brothers Benefit. They used to hold in L.A. That was really one of those, like they always talk, if a bomb hit a place. Right, right. In this thing, they would, you know, people would go on stage and do shtick. And it had everybody in show business was there and i remember red buttons uh refused to go on that the on the one that i was at because last year he had gone on and had done so great that he was afraid he wouldn't be able to live up to it.

Wow. But it's just the event that not your nemesis, because I'm a big Howard fan too, that Dice Clay, wasn't Dice Clay at one of these things and he killed? Early on, you know what I'm talking about? I think probably.

It was one of these events where the old guard was there. Oh, my God. It was everybody. Yeah. Anyway. No theme to this episode, guys. It's round robin. It's theme-less.

That's what I like about these. You like it. Yeah. It's loose and free form. It's like we're sitting in the steam room at the... Just like it. At the club. At the Friars Club.

At the Friars Club. Disgusting. Is there still the Friars Club. At the Friars Club. Disgusting. Is there still the Friars Club here? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Not too far from here. Still guys walking around with towels and their balls hanging out. Sitting on other guys' balls. Hanging around their ankles.

Unbelievable. So you mentioned Elaine May before. Yeah. And I just saw New Leaf. Yes. Which I hadn't seen in many, many years. And it's terrific. So before we wind this down, just throw at us an unsung movie from the 70s that you love,

that not a lot of people talk about. Okay, here's one. It's called Emperor of the North, and Emperor of the North is with Lee Marvin. Robert Aldrich movie. Okay, is it? Yeah. And Ernest Borgnine. That's a good one.

And Lee Marvin plays a hobo called The King or something like that. And it's in the 30s during the Depression. And Ernest Borgnine plays a psychopathic train conductor named Shaq or something like that who hates when hobos hitchhike or hop freights. And he has this sledgehammer and he beats the shit out of it. But Lee Marvin is going to ride Shaq's train to the end. And so it's about them. And I remember being a horny young man. And there's one sequence where he climbs off where Lee Marvin is on top of the train car and he's got to get off before the train comes into the station,

and he's climbing down, and he climbs past this car, where a woman is shaving her armpits, and she's topless, of course, because in the 70s, you know, occasionally top of the head. Oh, my God. It was heaven, you know. That's a good film. Anyway, that's a movie.

Emperor of the North. That's a good film. Oh. You know this film, Gilbert? It's called Hard Times. Oh, Hard Times with Bronson and James Coburn. Oh, my gosh. Yes.

Strother Martin. Also good. He's you. You could do the one-man show of Strother Martin. He's a fucking great actor, this guy. Amazing actor. Oh, yeah. And he was the one with the classic movie line.

What we have here is a failure to communicate. That's it. Excellent. Yeah. That's a damn good Strother Martin. Oh, he's great. But in hard times. Cool hand Luke.

And in hard times, he plays this guy who's, he's the cut man. He's the guy who was a morphine addict. He said, I had a little trouble with morphia. Yeah, and Charles Bronson is basically a street fighter yeah that uh they uh hired people place bets that's right that's right you know like like uh yeah a bare knuckle fighter illegal bare knuckle like that it's a more intelligent charles bronson movie than what he had been doing the mechanics are good charles bronco oh yeah it's good too jan michael vincent you should get jan mich Jan Michael Vincent in here. He's around.

Oh, yeah. You'll have to lay down some newspaper. I know. You want to throw an unsung movie from the 70s out? Something... Oh, God. Something... I mean, here's one of my old favorites.

And I've spoken about this before. And that... I love the Burt Lancaster film, The Swimmer. Ah, The Swimmer. The Swimmer, based on the John Cheever novel. I think that's the 60s, though. 60s, John Swimmer. Yeah, John Cheever, The Swimmer. Kid, come here.

I'm going to go from door to door, from house to house, in my bathing suit, and I'm going to swim. It's pretty good. That's it. You should do the Osborne show, the Essentials that Gilbert did. Pick some movies because you're such a buff. And the music was Marvin Hamlisch. Right, Marvin Hamlisch.

Yeah, that's a haunting film. Odd. They can't make those films anymore. No. And if they did make them, they'd never make it to theaters. I guess not. I guess not. It's the 60s, but I'll give it to you.

Yeah, late 60s. I'm going to throw one at both of you that I saw recently down at Film Forum called Prime Cut, since you brought up Lee Marvin. Oh, yes. Prime Cut. Gene Hackman. Oh, my God. Gene Hackman plays a killer and a mob boss named Mary Ann. Wow.

Okay. And Lee Marvin is a guy trying to get revenge and save the life of a nude Sissy Spacek. I'm there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's a terrific revenge picture. I've got a movie called Scarecrow. Oh, yeah.

It's Al Pacino and Gene Hackman. Also good. Terrific. Okay. And this great actor used to love him named Richard Lynch. And Richard Lynch. Oh, yeah. He had that bad skin. Also good. Terrific. Okay, and this great actor he used to love named Richard Lynch. And Richard Lynch, he was burned. He had that bad skin.

Yeah, Richard Lynch. Because he actually, apparently, the story was that he was one of these fucking idiots that set himself aflame in protest of something.

Oh, jeez. Wow, I didn't know that. That's what I'd read. I mean, who knows? Great stuff, yeah. And who you know who put him out? Bill Hickey. No kidding. It's a callback to And who you know who put him out? Bill Hickey.

No kidding. It's a callback to the full episode. He's fucking everywhere, Bill Hickey. That's a good movie. And he made use of his damaged skin.

Yeah, that's right. Because he'd always wind up in as villains or monsters. Kind of a modern-day skeleton. He's a modern-day

skeleton eggs. Oh, that's the name that I had no idea. I know. I just threw it out. Oh, yeah. If you saw him, you'd know him. You'd know him if you saw him.

We'll show him to you after we finish. Skelton Nags. Wow. I call him Skelton Knags. I like it better. Knags. Here's another good one from the 70s just to take with you. The Day of the Locust.

Oh, yes. Donald Sutherland. As Homer Simpson. That's right. Yes. Homer Simpson. That's right. Which I just watched. Day of the Locust. Yeah. Day of the Locust. Oh, yes. Donald Sutherland. As Homer Simpson. That's right, yes. Homer Simpson, that's right. Which I just watched. Day of the Locust. Day of the Locust.

I've been overdosing on 70s movies. I guess so. Just buying them for two bucks at that store downstairs. They're great. And just blowing through them. I just got Assault on Precinct 13. Oh, and the last detail. That is a fucking brilliant movie.

Hal Ashby and Jack Nicholson, young Carol Kane, Randy Quaid, Otis Young. Otis Young. Okay. And that is some amazing movie that holds up like crazy. Yeah. Yes, it's good. And it is when Jack Nicholson was this kind of lean, mean actor, right? And that's when Jack Nicholson was still Jack Nicholson.

Oh, yeah. He was really quiet. was still Jack Nicholson. Oh, yeah, he was really quiet. Before Jack Nicholson later on became, I think, you know, Barney Fife. Yeah. You know, because it became that kind of voice. It's interesting he turned into Don Knotts.

Yeah, yeah. That's your theory. That's it. Yeah, I think he became Don Knotts. Ghost Mr. Chicken. Yeah, it's like. Yeah, I think he became Don Knotts. Ghost Mr. Chicken. Yeah, it's like, you know, Andy as a lawman. And I always thought that's what Nicholson. Jack Nicholson did an Andy Griffith episode.

He did? Two. Two of them. Two episodes. You are good, sir. Yes. You are good. Two.

Two Andy Griffiths. One. Wow. He's with a couple. A cousin of his cousin? The couple who leaves their baby. That's right. By itself. Good. And the one where it's basically 12 angry men.

Right. Where Aunt Bea is on the jury, and she's the one who believes in Jack Nicholson's innocence. Wow. About stealing a TV set. Wow. He knows too much. That's. He knows too much.

That's right. And speaking of Andy Griffith and 70s movies, Hearts of the West. Hearts of the West. Oh, my God. Yeah. Check it out. Check it out. That was fun.

I enjoyed that too much. And. Okay. So I'm over. Wrap it out. That was fun. I enjoyed that too much. And, okay, so I'm Gilbert Gottfried. Wrap it up, Gilbert, in the way that you do. Okay. Where I turn into Jimmy Durant. Okay. All right. I'm Gilbert Gottfried.

This has been Gilbert Gottfried. Gilbert and my co-host Frank Santopadre Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal obsessions with our

special guest actor Steven Weber thank you Steven you're a very patient fellow I have to be with you boys bye bye Thank you, Stephen. You're a very patient fellow. I have to be with you, boys. Bye-bye. Here we go, boys. One, two, three, four. Give it a break

Colossal Obsessions Give it a break Colossal Obsessions