Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini-Ep #56: Robots! Robots! Robots!

Episode Date: April 21, 2016

Each week, comedian Gilbert Gottfried and comedy writer Frank Santopadre share their appreciation of lesser-known films, underrated TV shows and hopelessly obscure character actors -- discussing, dissecting and (occasionally) defending their handpicked guilty pleasures and buried treasures. This week: Paging John Schuck! "Small Wonder"! Tobor the 8th Man! And the return of "Murder Can Hurt You"! This episode is sponsored by Seeso. Comedy’s experiencing a serious renaissance right now, and Seeso is a comedy streaming service tailor-made for comedy-lovers and nerds, with thousands of hours of the best comedy, 24/7/365. Go to http://Seeso.com and start watching all the comedy you can stream for free. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Let's say I have a birthday party on Wednesday night, but an important meeting Thursday morning. So, Sensible Me pre-books a taxi for 10pm with alerts. Don't forget to Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss. See Kraken.com slash legal slash ca dash pru dash disclaimer for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. Don't forget to follow us on our Facebook page. Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast on Twitter at Real GilbertP. And on Instagram, Gilbert Podfried. P-O-D-F-R-I-E-D. You see, it's kind of a pun on the last name. Ah, never mind. hi this is gilbert godfrey and this is g is Gilbert and Frank's amazing, colossal obsessions.

You are a pro. Yeah, I got it right for the first time in over a year. It's okay. And we're once again at Nutmeg Post with our engineer, Frank Verderosa. I'm going to gaslight you and change the title now. for DeRosa. I'm going to gaslight you and change the title. Now. I was at a club

out of town. Yes. And I'm amazed that people do listen. Because a guy came up to me after the show and he gave me two DVDs.

No, he gave me two CDs or DVDs. I'm like talking to your grandfather. Like, what is it? Do you play it on a record player? DVDs. They were visual. Two DVDs.

Okay. One for me and one to give. He said, give one to Frank. Oh, this is so sweet. What are you giving me? Murder can hurt you. Murder can hurt you. Oh, you've been holding out on me.

Yeah. What a thrill. Yeah. This is the really bad TV movie knockoff of, I guess, Murder by Death. With John Biner. Right. John Biner, who we're working on for the show, by the way. I don't mind putting that out there.

And Klinger. Jamie Farr. Jamie Farr. Victor Bono. Victor Bono's doing Ironside. Yes. He's doing Raymond Burr. Yes.

Oh, and I think it's Burt Young, who's doing Columbo. Correct. And who was it? Was it Mel Tillis? No, Buck Owens as McCloud. It was quite horrible. Did you watch the disc? No, no.

I haven't watched it yet. And we also had to talk. Frank sent me an article that he knew. It was up your alley. He thought of me right away when he saw this article some guy in japan now i can already feel people tensing up when i mentioned japan yeah they don't know where you're going but some like crazy guy in japan but not too crazy, spent over $50,000 to create a mechanical Scarlett Johansson. Yes, I thought of you because you have ended this show periodically.

Yes. When we go around to ask for people's plugs and you've said. I'd like to plug Scarlett Johansson. There you go. So when I saw, my wife showed it to me, and I said, oh, I know who this is for. And it's show business, because she's an actress.

Yep. But let me tell you something. Anyone who wants to get rid of me for good, you don't have to shoot me. Get me a mechanical Scarlet johansson you will never see me again not an inflatable scarlet johansson well you you might see me again in that i'll be sticking my head out the window screaming out i'm fucking fucking Scarlett Johansson. What about a mechanical David Johansson? You guys can reenact scenes from the bad Car 54 remake.

Does that buy me anything at all? I saw it and I said, now who do I know that would appreciate the perversion of this? Yeah. And the ingenuity of it. You're under the strange belief that I'd like to fuck Scarlett Johansson. I don't know where this came from. Did you actually click on the picture? Yes.

Did you see the thing? Yes. And it's got that strangely cupped hand. Oh, yes. Believe me, I noticed. I noticed it. Oh, yes. Believe me, I noticed.

I noticed it. And, man, you know, I bow down to this guy. Okay. This Japanese inventor. That's something I can't imagine. You know, the hell with the cure for cancer. Right. A mechanical Scarlett Johansson. It's a real contribution to society.

I think it might end women altogether if they mass produce this. And yet, as intrigued as you are, as thrilled as you are with the prospect of owning one of these things, there's very very little chance that you would go for the

50 grand. Yeah yeah that would be the problem that would be the problem you know that i i wouldn't even spend that to fuck scarlett johansson if the robot was 50 bucks would you i mean if if you could throw in a natalie portman too baby we could discuss nice jewish girl natalie portman you know and and natalie herschla yes this is a paid advertisement from better help as a podcast listener you've heard from us before today let's hear what members have told us one member said i would recommend my therapist 1000 times over she has truly changed my life. Another member said, the day after my first session, my friends and family said I sounded like myself again for the first time in weeks.

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Only $3.99 a month with no ads. No joke. And do you know Scarlett Johansson is too? No. She is not. She looks so goyim. Really? But Scarlett Johansson's a Jew. Don't tell Woody. Yeah.

That'll be the end of that. Yeah. Oh. He'll never hire her again. Now we were talking about this outside. We just had the thrill of having the great Peter Marshall with us on the show. Oh, he was terrific. He was terrific and really brought it, and you'll hear that episode down the line. And Gilbert said, I think I'm going to do a mini episode about the Scarlett Johansson robot. And maybe we can morph that into a conversation about famous robots in TV and movies.

So I'm going to let you make that segue. Well, there was that one that I bring up on every episode with John Shuck. Holmes and Yo-Yo. Yes. Okay. With a robot cop. Yeah. Not good.

Not good at all. But John Shuck was very, and the great Richard B. Shull, they were both funny on it. Yes. And Richard B. Shull is gone. But we should put the word out to John Shuck was very, and the great Richard B. Shull, they were both funny on it. Yes. And Richard B. Shull is gone, but we should put the word out to John Shuck. Oh, yes. It's a very interesting career. Absolutely. And see if he wants to join us.

And he was in one of the many incarnations of the Munsters. He was Herman Munster. Correct. So we have plenty to talk to John Shuck about. So that's robot reference number one. Yes. What else you got? I defy you to.

Now, the robot that they used in Lost in Space. Oh. That was from the movie with Leslie Nielsen. Yes. Robbie the Robot. Yes. What was that movie? Was it Forbidden Planet?

Forbidden Planet. Yeah, that's where Robbie first shows up. Voiced by the great Dick Tufeld. And I have a funny story about Dick Tufeld, but I'm not going to go into it here because it's a long story. But I promise to tell it on a future episode in the interest of time.

There was a great episode of Twilight Zone that I forget the title, but it had George Grisard. Okay, Paul, our researchers here, the great Paul Rayburn, you want to see if you can track down this Twilight Zone episode with George Grisard, G-R-I-Z-Z-A-R-D.

George Grisard created an exact replica of himself. I've never seen this one. Yeah, a great episode of Twilight Zone. Not the same thing that you had in mind for Scarlet.

You saw where I was headed. That's just wrong. You jumped on my punchline. I was going to say, he fucked it harder than Scarlett Johansson. While Paul looks that up. Here are robot references. One involving a former guest of ours, Julie Newmar. That's right.

She did a series called? Oh, God. With Bob Cummings. Oh, God. What was that? Our listeners are screaming now at their computer. Oh, shit. My Living Doll.

My Living Doll. Oh, God. Yes. doll. My living doll. Oh, God, yes. And she was a sexy robot. Oh, and there was another Twilight Zone with Richard Deacon. Really? Where he's a guy who's firing people, and at the end of the episode, because they're being replaced by automation. Okay. At the end of the episode. Paul they're being replaced by automation. Okay.

At the end of the episode. Paul is here with your info. He is replaced by a robot. I love that. Yeah. I have not seen either one of those Twilight Zone episodes. Shame on me. They're both terrific.

What do we got, Paul? So it's called In His Image. In His Image is the George Broussard episode. There isn't a lot of information here, but here's one of the two reviews. Go for it. A slow start. About 34 minutes in, we find out what has really happened. I must say, a boring show which is relevant to nothing in particular.

A man makes an android of himself, and that is supposed to have feelings he lacked. Yeah, get it. Oh, fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Who's ever running that site? Anonymous critic. Block that cocksucker.

Tell him to go fuck himself. I'll look up the one with Richard Deacon while we're talking about My Living Doll. Another robot reference to a guest we would like to have on the show is Dick Godier. Oh, my God. Jaime the Robot from Get Smart. From Get Smart. A very funny guy who actually worked with Peter Marshall. That's right.

There you go. I brought it around. I brought it full circle. Oh, my God. So this is our mini. Yeah. You got any other robot references? Oh, God.

What about Yul Brynner in Westworld? Oh, of course. Yeah. Of course. That's a good one. And, oh, God, there were so many. Well, of course, you know, classic movies, Metropolis. Yes.

With the sexiest robot. Right. Well, if you're going to do sci-fi movies, sure. And, but other robots. Oh, wait, wait, wait. A Little Wonder. Oh, Small Wonder. A Small Wonder about the little girl.

We jumped the robot shark. The little girl who was a robot. Arguably the worst sitcom in the history of sitcoms. And that's saying something. And I heard, and i don't know how we'll get this guy on the show i heard one of the actors who played her brother who was like five years old or so at the time according to some tabloid is living under a bridge now. Are you serious? Yeah, that's what I said. They had photos, and one of the cast members

of Small Wonder is living under a bridge. Where do you find this stuff? Yeah, so we're gonna have to find that bridge and go there with a recorder. And for like a slice of bread,

pay him, and get him to do it. I'm going to mention two cartoons I liked as a kid, two robot shows. Gigantor, the space age robots. Of course. And Tobor the Ape Man, which nobody remembers, which of course was robot spelled backwards. And I saw one recently. You remember Tobor the Ape Man? Nobody.

I had a fever. There's one on recently that they did doing a TV show on Richie Rich. Okay. And there's a sexy girl robot. That one escaped me. On that. Now and I hesitate calling her

a sexy girl robot because that's the problem with Disney shows. You go hey that girl's totally fucking hot. And you go, oh, I hope she's not eight. Oh, Lord. Oh, we can cut that part out. Okay. What is the other name of that?

Brain Center at Whipple's. The what? Is this the one with the factory? Yeah, with other name of that? Brain Center at Whipple's. The what? Is this the one with the factory? Yeah, with Richard Deacon. The Brain Center at Whipple's. The Brain Center at Whipple's. Oh, my God. A heartless CEO completely automates his factory and lays off almost all of his workers over the objections of his employees.

I forget what happens in the end. I just saw this one not too long ago. Yeah. I thought I'd seen every Twilight Sunday. And I should say when I watch some of these kids' shows that – oh, yeah. When I watch some of these kids' shows, Jared Fogle said they are holding up. So I'm just letting you know. My pancreas.

It's wrong for so many reasons. Let's put it out to our listeners now. Now that you've opened this. Your favorite robots on TV show. Or in films. In films, yes. Or in your personal life. Mine will be that Scarlett Johansson one. TV show. Or in films. In films, yes. Or in your personal life. Mine

will be that Scarlett Johansson one. How about Brainiac from Superman? Was he a robot? I think he was a robot. Oh, maybe. And this is an obscure reference, but I'm going to go for Caesar. I'm going to close with a Caesar Romero reference. Yes. There's an episode of

Batman where the Joker employs evil robots. Oh. Mr. Boff and Mr. Glee. And I think the robots throw tangerine wedges at Cesar Romero's ass. Metal tangerines. And they go boom, bam, zap. That's the Tangerine. It's a miracle either of us have ever been laid.

All right. So, this has been... Yeah, send us your robot references. This has been Gilbert and Frank's very important and essential... Gilbert and Frank's... Your weird, kinky, amazing, colossal obsession. With Scarlett Johansson. Thank you.

We'll see you next time. Bye-bye. Here we go, boys. One, two, three, four. Give me that fract Colossal obsessions Give me that fract Colossal obsessions Give me that fract Colossal obsessions