Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini-Ep #64: Paul Lynde 90th Birthday "Tribute"

Episode Date: June 16, 2016

Each week, comedian Gilbert Gottfried and comedy writer Frank Santopadre share their appreciation of lesser-known films, underrated TV shows and hopelessly obscure character actors -- discussing, dissecting and (occasionally) defending their handpicked guilty pleasures and buried treasures. This week: Paging Pinky Tuscadero! Billy West vs. The Scoutmaster! George C. Scott takes it all off! And the late, great Alice Ghostley! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Frankie, what would we do without you? Oh, I'd like to find out. So we did a 90th birthday episode about Jerry Lewis. Yes. Joseph Levitch. Yeah. We did a 100th birthday tribute to Mr. Gleason. Yeah.

And, you know, our fans on Facebook keep me abreast of everything that's happening, all the milestones. Oh, yeah. Yesterday. I get those. You get them, too. Yeah. Yesterday, Mr. Paul Lind would have been 90, born on June 13, 1926. Yeah. would have been 90. Born on June 13th, 1926.

Yeah. Now, I worked on Hollywood Squares, of course, years after. Right, sure. The original Paul Lynn. Yes, yes. You could find that on YouTube. Look for the YouTube. I recommend you do.

The You Fool episode. So with us, it was like, you know know whoopi goldberg was sent to square and then later on henry winkler was the producer but back then with the original peter marshall our former guest yeah and uh paul lynn was their top guy, their center square. And so one of the producers of the Hollywood Squares when I was on, it was also a producer on the original. Oh, I don't think I knew that. Yeah. And he came up. He told me that Paul Lynn, he said, like, when it would be lunchtime, like everybody would be like, you know, having lunch and joking and being real friendly and funny.

Paul Lynde was this bitter, drunken old queen and he'd get bombed out of his skull and he was extraordinarily anti-Semitic. Yes, it's actually in the book, Center Square, the story of Paul Lynde. Yeah, and he'd be there. The others would be friendly and everything. And Paul Lynde would be totally bitter with a glass of whatever he drank, going, oh, those fucking Jews. Hey, they're the reason I don't have a career.

Those no good fucking Jews. Oh, will someone stop the Jews, please? They actually told you this in so many words. Yeah, he was incredibly. Well, he was a great talent, and he had some personal issues. Yes. It's kind of like saying, well, you know, Hitler was a funny guy besides. You know, when you do that voice, I think, of course, the character,

and not family guy, but is it American Dad? Oh, yeah, that's a Paul Lynn imitation. Also, the villain that turned up on The Simpsons, the Scoutmaster. Are you familiar with this episode? Oh, yeah. That's a Paul Lynn imitation. Also, the villain that turned up on The Simpsons, the Scoutmaster. Are you familiar with this episode? Oh, yes. Paul Lynn. I guess it's Azari or Castellanet or somebody doing just a dead-on Paul Lynn. I mean, he died young.

He was 55. By all accounts, he had an unhappy life. And I heard that the way he died, he had some boy. Well, that's a rumor. Yeah. That's unsubstantiated. When did that ever stop us? I direct your attention to this book.

When did we ever need proof? He was discovered by a friend. He apparently had a heart attack and died in bed. But the stories of there being a rent boy in the apartment or in the home are unfounded. Yeah. Unproven. Well, a story I heard. You can put it out there anyway.

Was that Paul Lynn had a rented boy. Is this a Paul Lynn tribute episode? Yeah. Yes. Is this a Paul in Tribute episode? Yes. Paul Lynn had a rented boy, and Paul Lynn could have been saved, according to legend. He could have been saved, but this rented boy was there illegally, of course, and he panicked and made a run for it.

Where did you hear this story? I've heard it a few times. Go ahead. And he could have called, and had they called the ambulance, they could have revived him. But instead, he panicked and ran out. Well, we should call these two gentlemen. Joe Florensky and Steve Wilson wrote a book about 10 years ago called Center Square, appropriately enough. And I read an interview conducted by my friend Mike Sachs. Oh, I have that book. Do you have the book?

Well, why don't you read the book? Because they say the Rent Boy story is bullshit. I was looking all over for that book. And finally I found it and bought it. Yeah, take a look when you're on your next plane ride. Your next long plane ride.

Because they expel some of the, not expel, dispel. They may expel, too. They dispel some of the myths. With Paul in, I would say they expelled. Now, here's some trivia. Okay. Did you know about any of these shows? First of all, you did know this.

I did not know that he was he co-starred in the short-lived 1956 sitcom stanley opposite buddy hackett and carol burnett wow did you know that uh did you know this i loved and i found this this is just wikipedia stuff he he starred in four unsuccessful pilots in the 60s and i had never heard of any of these. And I thought I knew a lot about Paul Lynn. One was called Howie in 1962. Oh. And he was a married guy. Of course.

Which the authors of this book always said was part of the problem with his television career, with him getting a series. It was hard. He was not out. They were constantly casting him with a wife and kids. They were constantly casting him with a wife and kids. Correct. And this show Howie, created by Sidney Sheldon, who created I Dream of Jeannie, it was CBS, 1962. He had a son-in-law played by Will Hutchins.

Remember Will Hutchins? Oh, yes, yes. 62, CBS, it failed. Then he did a show called Two's Company 1965 on ABC with Marlo Thomas Okay That already sounds creepy Yes Now here's one that I was telling you about before we turned the mics on

Sedgwick Hawk Stiles' Prince of Danger This is in 1966 If any of our listeners have heard of this, I'll be impressed. He played a 19th century Victorian detective. And how that felt. That was the only one of the four that got a pickup. Holy shit. Yeah, but they pulled the plug at the last minute.

William Asher was behind it. You know why it failed? Why? Those no good shoes. They're the reason my TV career didn't work. It's because of the shoes. Apparently. This is the strangest tribute.

The most libelous. Not libelous. This is the most slanderous tribute episode ever. He played a 19th century English Victorian detective. And the premise, I guess the catchphrase was, if you can't get Sherlock Holmes, you get me. And he solved crimes. And it was a comedy. And then he did a show.

If you can't get Sherlock Holmes, you get me in the ass. I'm going to hunt down those Jews. Cut that out now. And then in 67, he did a show for ABC called Manly and the Mob. And again, he was a slow-witted detective.

So none of these shows flew, and there you go. They could mob me in the ass. Don't forget to follow us on our Facebook page, Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast, on Twitter at Real Gilbert ACP, and on Instagram, Gilbert Podfried. You see, it's kind of a pun on the last name. Yeah, skip it. Also, visit our terrific new website, GilbertPodcast.com, for the latest news, episodes, episodes, synopsis, behind-the-scenes photos, and videos, and other cool stuff. And if you like the show, and you know you do, please rate and review us on iTunes.

Can't you see we're star perfection for the love of God. He did do the Paul Lynn show. Yes. Do you remember the Paul Lynn show? Oh, my God. Which started life as temperatures rising. I remember there was that Paul Lynn Halloween special. Well, yeah. In fact, that's become something of a favorite special among our podcast fans.

In fact, I've received numerous requests to do a whole episode based on the Halloween special. Yeah, we'll do that at Halloween. Oh, that was so frightening. Tim Conway, Betty White, Donnie and Marie, I think, Florence Henderson. Oh, yeah, may have. Turns up Billy Hayes, who was Richie Poo on H.R. Puff and Stuff. Oh, jeez. And Roz Kelly.

Pinky Tuscadero. Yeah, who Henry Winkler hated. There you go. I think Henry Winkler called her a fucking cunt. Yeah. Did he? He did. Oh, I find that hard to swallow.

Now, here's the funny thing about this Wikipedia listing. I'm going through this Wikipedia. I was talking to Henry Winkler, and he said, oh, Ross Kelly was a fucking cunt. I don't believe that for a second. Henry's a gentleman. Now, let me tell you about Alice Ghostly. Oh, yes. Alice Ghostly, who was like a female Paul Lynde. Now, let me tell you about Alice Ghostly. Oh, yes. Alice Ghostly, who was like a female Paul Lind. Yes, that was the weirdest thing.

And people thought that she was borrowing from Paul Lind, and according to Kay Ballard, who knew them both, he was borrowing from Alice Ghostly. Oh, my God. Which, I don't know if that's true, but it's good trivia. Now, this is the fun of this.

I think I've heard that. Yeah. I'm going to. And she actually, pardon the expression, came first. When Paul Lynn and Alice Ghostley, she came first. We should get Kay Ballard on this show. Yeah, Alice Ghostley. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Alice Ghostley's gone. I think Timmy Rogers. That's right. Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Alice Gosley's gone. I think Timmy Rogers used to. That's right. Oh, yeah! You mentioned it on the show. All right, so I'm going through the Paul Lynn Wikipedia listing, and they've got Hollywood Squares and his death and his legacy,

and then I get to the back. I get to the last page after it says personal life, and I'm on the – I've got to get to this. Hang on, I'm turning the pages. And I'm on the last page and it says, Dick Van Dyke in a 1923, 2013 radio interview, Dick Van Dyke recalled the wrap party for Bye Bye Birdie. We've told that story. Oh yeah. Where he got up and said, I'm the only one here that doesn't want to fuck Ann-Margaret. Oh yeah. And as I'm reading, it says, this is Wikipedia, on at least three episodes of Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast.

This is in Wikipedia, folks. Somebody entered this. Host Gilbert Gottfried has recounted a possibly apocryphdote of Lind arriving at a rundown comedy club. See, the story's changing. Oh, yeah. It's not the Gold Digger's dressing room anymore. And being so appalled by its condition that he quipped, this place smells like a cunt, I think. Yeah.

But Peter Marshall corrected it. He went into the, I think it was the Gold Digger. No, the story, the dressing room. Yeah, the dressing room of the Gold Diggers, these sexy girl dancers on the Dean Martin show or whatever. And Pauline went, this place smells like a cunt, I think. If only you had told that story before on this show. Turns out Billy West. One day I'm going to tell a Cesar Romero

and a Danny Kaye and Lawrence Olivia. You think Cesar and Paul Lynn knew one another? Oh! You think there was anything to that? By the way, that was Billy West doing the voice of the Scoutmaster on The Simpsons. That was Billy West doing

Paul Lynn. I found these are some old answers from the Hollywood Squares. Let them rip. Peter Marshall says, if the right part comes along, George C. Scott will do a nude scene. You mean he doesn't have the right part? And Peter Marshall goes, what is a pullet? And Pauline goes, a little show of affection. That's a good one. And he said, it is the most abused and neglected part of your body. the most abused and neglected part of your body.

What is it? Mine may be abused, but it's not neglected. That's funny. I remember those. Yeah. Now, here's a little trivia for you. What was his last film? Bet more activated.

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Paul Wynn in 1979. Oh. He appeared opposite Ann-Margaret again, his former Bye Bye Birdie co-star. And you know this movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Kirk Douglas. Oh, my. There's a Western parody called The Villain. Oh, yes. Yes.

You remember this movie? Yes. And he played Nervous Elk, who was an Indian chief. And then he died shortly thereafter. So, you know, a great talent and a great comedian, but an unhappy guy. He was a great anti-Semite. And if only, if only that hired boy had called 911 when he should have, Paul Lynn would be alive today. It isn't true. Do you know that he only made 11 appearances as Uncle Arthur on Bewitched?

Wow. And I thought it was more. Yeah. Because he was such an indelible character on that show. So that's our half-assed tribute to the great Paul Lynde. And I recommend that book that Gilbert has in his house and hasn't read, Center Square by Joe Florensky and Steve Wilson. And why don't you take us out with a little bit of the great Paul Lynde.

Kids, I don't know what's wrong with these kids today. Kids, who can understand anything they say? Kids, they're so disobedient, disrespectful hoes. Noisy, crazy, sloppy, lazy loafers. Noisy, crazy, sloppy, lazy loafers. And while we're on the subject, kids, you can talk and talk till your face is blue. Kids, but they still do just what they want to do. Why can't they be like we were? Perfect in every way What is wrong with these kids today?

I don't know why no one bought him as a family man. By the way, if we have Billy back, Billy West, we're going to do a dueling Paul Lentz. Hey, while we're on the subject. Yeah. According to the Inquirer, the reason we haven't seen Richard Simmons for all these years. Oh, a sex change. Yes. Yes, he's transitioning. Yeah, like he's calling himself Gwendolyn or something.

Gwendolyn. Gwendolyn. Not Hortense? Gwendolyn or something. Gwendolyn. Gwendolyn. Not Hortense? Gwendolyn? Hortense would be. Gwendolyn, huh? Petunia, I think. He's calling himself.

Sade. Oh, Lord. So if Richard Simmons, if you're out there, call the podcast. By the way, Paul Lind went to Northwestern University with one of our previous podcast guests, although we haven't put this episode up yet, Charlotte Ray. Oh. So there. And Cloris Leachman and Patricia Neal.

They all went to college together. See, but Charlotte Ray is Jewish, so Paul Lind dropped out of school. Is she Jewish? Yes. Oh, I didn't know that. Yes. Yeah. And yet they were't know that. Yes. Yeah. And yet they were friends for life.

Yeah. So it calls into question your accusations of anti-Semitism. I'm trying to defend the guy. It's a 90th birthday tribute. And I heard that Paul Lynn would be, it was, he'd be very anti-Semitic around the French Jew from Hogan's Heroes. Robert Clary? Yeah. No, Pierre Goldberg.

I got nothing. If anybody out there can find anything on these pilots, Sedgwick Hawk Stiles, Prince of Danger, and Manly and the Mob, please contact us. All right, sir. This has been Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Upstate. Don't sue. 1, 2, 3, 4 Give me that fractal obsession Give me that fractal obsession Give me that fractal obsession Colossal Obsessions Colossal Obsessions