Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini-Ep #82: GGACP Theme Song Composers

Episode Date: October 20, 2016

Each week, comedian Gilbert Gottfried and comedy writer Frank Santopadre share their appreciation of lesser-known films, underrated TV shows and hopelessly obscure character actors -- discussing, dissecting and (occasionally) defending their handpicked guilty pleasures and buried treasures. This week: "The 4:30 Movie"! "After the Fox" redux! Gilbert covers Soupy Sales! And bossa nova meets Bacharach! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried begging you for money. Give me money to make more. Cut. Take two. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried saying to you, give me money. I want money. Just give me money to make more Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast.

It costs money, believe it or not. You're over there saying, but it's so cheap and amateurish. I know that, but it still takes money. So it's patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried. Patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried. And there are rewards in it. I can't even say reward. Rolling. Rolling. And there are rewards in it. I can't even say reward.

Rolling. And there are... Cut. And, you know, like signed posters. And some of you, if it's enough money, I'll roast you. And there's so much, so much. But it's patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried. I'll roast you. And there's so much, so much. But it's patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried. Give me money! Hi, I'm Gilbert Gottfried, and I'm here with my co-host Frank Santopadre, and we're once again recording at Nutmeg with our engineer, Frank Ferdarosa.

And this is Gilbert and Frank's amazing, colossal obsession. It sure is. Now, we've got two dipshits. Present and accounted for. Is that how you treat two artists who generously give of their time and their talent to make this show better? You want to say their names? Okay. Dip shit number one.

Dip shit number one. You were in the army. That's right. The Greek army. Yes. John Fotiotis? Yes. Nice.

Oh, my God. Well, that's beautiful. It's actually pronounced Papadopoulos. I just got an erection. Thank you. What about the second one? And this is a more difficult name, John Murray. That's right.

Tough one. Welcome, boys. Thank you. Thanks for having us. Now, this is a different kind of an episode. John and John, and they'll tell us a little bit about themselves in a second, generously contributed little mini theme songs to our mini episodes. Oh, yes.

So the music you hear at the beginning of the Listener Mail episode, episodes, was composed by John, which we'll hear some of. That's me. And the closing kind of groovy, kind of weird, psychedelic Beatles-esque strange. What were you going for there? Strawberry alarm clock? Yeah, I was going more like a back rack, fifth dimension, psychedelic.

You were right on the money. The closing theme for the Listener Mail episode was composed by our friend John Fotiata. So we thought we would have the boys in just to chat, just to bullshit about where the ideas came from, play the songs again. Because a lot of people write us and ask,

where the hell is the music coming from? That's great. And you tell them the truth. So here you both are. A lot of people actually write and want to know about the theme song, the regular theme song, which is library music that we got. Yeah. I mean, we got it because we didn't have to pay for it.

We didn't have to pay for this either. I think we paid something for it. It's called Vampire Strut, composed by a guy named Bob Bradley. But John and John, who are both fans of the show,

and I'll let you guys tell the stories in a second, but John, you and I go way back. We do. 36 years. Back to SVA,

where we were telling Gilbert where we studied under the screenwriter of the famous horror movie. Arnaud Dussault. The Horror Express. Yeah. It was great. the screenwriter of the famous horror movie. Arnaud Dussault. The Horror Express. Yeah. Yeah.

He was great. Best screenwriter. Yeah. Great guy. And a mentor to both of us. He was. Yeah. I learned a lot from him.

How to treat people, too. Yeah. Arnaud Dussault. Look the name up. He wrote Tomorrow the World, too. You know that film with the Hitler youth? Oh, yes. Is that Frederick March and Sk where they have to uh the kid

has been brainwashed to be a nazi you know this film oh he wrote well anything to do with not well i'm surprised you don't know it yeah i'm surprised okay go ahead john mr murray that's me uh are you now or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party? No. It's turned into a UAC hearing. It's gotten ugly quickly. Okay. Who do people tell you you look like?

Gary Sinise. That's it. Wow. That's it. I knew that's what he was thinking. You do look like Gary Sinise. I was looking at you and going, this guy looks like Gary Sinise. Yeah, I've heard that. And Gary Sinise is so entertaining. I'm looking at you and going, this guy looks like Gary Sinise. And Gary Sinise is so entertaining.

He's a barrel of laughs. Yeah, me too. Me too. Just like him. So how did you, you know, you and I have a lot of history. You found out about the show, obviously. Right. And you decided to, and I don't even think you told me it was coming.

You just sent me. Well, the first thing I did for you was the dummy in the window, and I'll tell you why. That's right. The first thing you did was dummy in the window. Because when you were singing dummy in the window, you actually stayed in tune throughout the entire song,

and your rhythm was dead on. I said, you know what? All I need to do is just drop a band behind that, and you would lock right in, and that's what I did. So dummy in the window, I just dropped him in, and he was in key the entire time. Right. Whoever thought there'd be an intellectual discussion on creating the recording?

There's a master's course on that now at Columbia Gilbert. I don't know if you knew that. But I thought it would be funny because you were really goofing with that song. But I thought I'd put this kind of legit sound behind it and I thought the contrast would be funny. It's great. But that was the first thing you did. That was the first thing I did.

Was dumbing in the window. So the theme, you had mentioned one episode that you were looking for a theme. And the way songs come to me is just like that. and then it's just a matter of just getting it out on tape and in my mind I just thought this has got to be something cool something I thought spy I cuz in your root the theme that you use has that twangy yeah we were trying are you know trying for that yeah Dick Dale it's got a hit but also I wanted to put a lot of voices on it because I think when I'm listening to this show I feel like I'm hanging out at a party with you guys.

Sometimes I even feel like I'm on a conference call and I'm actually talking to the radio, you know, to the speakers. It's very disturbing, John. Yeah, it is. Yeah. There's medication. Yeah, I know. So I feel like it's a bunch of guys hanging out. You know, you're talking to you, but I feel like it's a lot of guys listening and that we're all kind of in on it and talking about these shows that we love. So I thought I'd put a lot of

voices on there. So in the jingle, there's a lot of voices and kind of all in unison. So the first one you did for us was Colossal Obsessions. The one where you're talking about where you had a lot of voices. A lot of voices, right. And I wanted to be a bunch of guys in on it. Like, you know, we're all part of the. A lot of voices, right. And I wanted to be a bunch of guys in on it. Like, you know, we're all part of the same club, you know. Okay. And let's hear some of that, and then you'll talk about it. Frankie? Frankie?

Frankie? Colossal Obsessions. Gilbert, you don't listen to the podcast. Have you ever heard that before? I've been listening to it for years. Gilbert doesn't listen to the show, Frank. That was my thing? Wait a minute. I'm glad you liked it.

That's great. So what was the influence there? I mean, what were you- Well, the beginning. All right. You remember, what was the station that used to have the silhouette of the cameraman? You know, it was a Channel 7 and- Oh, the 430 movie?

Yeah, yeah. But there was that beat behind it. Yeah, it was a cameraman and a crane. Well, that's why I got the film rolling at the beginning of the track. And then in my head, I just pictured, you know, this silhouette, you know, just like in that commercial and the lead into that show. And then after that, it's just, you know, private eye swing after that. I wanted it to be cool and have a lot of guys. People have written us about it.

Oh, cool. They liked it. Yes. That's great. Yes. And we're answering the question for people where this music came from. Gilbert, have you heard it before? No.

I don't know how to get a podcast. Gilbert just got emailed. And Frank said to me, yeah, Gil loved it. Well, he did. He has no memory. You're so full of shit. No, no, no. You are so full of shit.

Dara will bear me out. I played it on my cell phone in this very room. He forgets. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Blame it on him. Now, tell us about the second one. Then you did Listener Mail.

We've been putting this on all the Listener Mail episodes Oh this one I like Yeah sure you do When you hear mine Gilbert You'll really like it I love it. That's a good one, man. Thanks. You're a big fan of the dropout.

I love it. Yeah. It's nicely done. Yeah, you know, it's, again, going for that swing. And I think any, the other jingle I did for you as well, same thing. I just go for that swing sound. Yeah, because swing music isn't on pop radio, but when you think about any of those old cool private eye movies, you know,

that's the kind of music they had. They had swing. It's just for something, there's something sneaky about it and something cool about it. They used it in Mask. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that big band swing. Love it.

Have you heard the theme from Cool McCool? Yes. A little-known show from the 1960s that we've talked about. See, we went searching for music and we thought, well, what is this show going to be about? I mean, should it sound like Secret Agent Man? Should it be like a John Williams TV theme? You know, and then we settled on that kind of spooky.

It's almost like a little combination of spooky and surf music. I mean, your show is a guy show. I mean, I have a lot of friends that listen to your show. A guy show? It's a guy show. That's what my wife says. She says you know no women are listening to your show, right? There's one.

See, I'm doing this show to get lots of push. How's it working? It's working out just great. It's miraculous. Where are the girls going? Somebody said there would be girls. Now let's move over to John Fodiatis. That's right.

Unlike John Murray, who is a musician by trade, you are an architect. That's right. I am an architect. Yes. Tell us some of the buildings that you've designed. Well, I've done some buildings in Ukraine and some buildings in Georgia and some buildings in Turkey and some buildings in New York. I don't think you'd know any of them, but they're big buildings.

That's fine. Well, I'm impressed. And I'm like Paul Kersey, you know, the world's angriest architect. Yes. He gets that reference. Gilbert would know who that is, right? Charles Bronson in Death Wish. Very good.

Yeah. Very good. So how did you – this is – the podcast is actually what brought you into our orbit. Yeah, I mean. John before, but not you. Just very quickly, I remember Gilbert from years ago on the Stern Show and other appearances. I was always a fan. And then I was, you know, tripping around the Internet.

I discovered this podcast. I thought it was great. You know, as you know, I started communicating with you guys. And just to prove I'm not some insane stalker, I actually thought I'd write some music for you. So when I was thinking about this theme, when you put the call out for some music, I was thinking, well, what does this show remind me of? And to me, it's like one giant ongoing Peter Sellers film. You know, it's like every episode is the party. You've got all these wild celebrities from the past.

And so I was thinking about music from that period. You know, I love back rack. I love Tijuana Brass. I love, you know, all of that stuff. And I came up with something that I thought was, you know, a bit bossa nova, a bit back rack. And, yeah, that's where it came from. And we've been using it as the closing theme. Yeah, and I really appreciate it. And you guys don't ride the fader at all. I mean, it just keeps's where it came from. And we've been using it as the closing theme. Yeah, and I really appreciate it.

And you guys don't ride the fader at all. I mean, it just keeps going and going and going. When is this going to end? I think that's Frankie's doing. Actually, Sean Merrick gets credit for that. He does that out in L.A. That's Sean. Okay.

Sean Merrick, our producer out of L.A. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast after this. We all have the power to shape the world. We're connected to the world we share, to each other. I am future. I wait in the world of Echo. Discover the extraordinary with Echo, the spectacular new show by Cirque du Soleil. Now playing under the big top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West.

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Order now. Alcohol in select markets. Product availability may vary by regency. App for details. And now back to the show. So let's hear John Fodiatis' Bacharach-inspired closing theme. Here we go. Listen up now. Listen up now. If you want to know about Cavill on Sisu or Long Chaney and Junior It's something we're used to

Colossal obsessions These things that we've studied Like why Groucho helped Chico Cause he needed the money If you have a comment

On Cesar Romero And those oranges thrown by Those young caballeros You can ask what you want Anything on our bits But please keep it short There you go. It's poetry, man. It's beautiful. It's poetry. I thought you'd like that line. And it just fades.

It's great. Hey, Gilbert, I couldn't think of anything to rhyme with glass coffee table. Are you doing a little bit of a British with the vocal? Yeah, a little bit. It's like that kind of Peter Sellers vibe. Yeah. The fact that you managed to rhyme Cesar Romero with gay caballero. I think I get an extra orange for that.

I love watching Gilbert react to these for the first time. Certainly. It's like watching childbirth. Been up for about nine weeks. Can he tell you that Gilbert listened to yours? Oh, yeah. He thought it was genius. Yeah.

It was great. Yours was like Abbey Road side two. Yeah. Guys, we have to talk to you about MeUndies. MeUndies is a fantastic product. They are changing the way that you wear underwear because every pair of MeUndies is made from sustainably sourced Modal. It's a special fabric that's twice as soft as cotton.

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MeUndies.com slash Gilbert. Trust me, they're fantastic underwear. They come in all kinds of different colors. MeUndies.com. You know what I want? I really wanted to be here. It's a hobby. I just love doing this stuff.

But I did After the Fox. Oh, yes, yes. I locked that one in to a big band sound. And that one, for me, is the most fun. I love doing that one. That was such a great score. Do we have it? Yeah, yeah. That one, to me, is the most fun. I love doing that one. That was such a great score. Do we have it? Yeah, yeah.

Okay. That one, to me, is a lot of fun. Okay, here it is. John Murray does Gilbert singing after the fox. And it's all your voice. Even when you don't think it's your voice, it's your voice. Wow. And then he'll explain how he did it.

Yeah, yeah. Who is the fox? I am the fox Who are you? I am me Who is me? I am me You make you cause you're poor, poor mother After the fox After the fox You make you cause you're poor, poor mother.

After the fox, after the fox, into the hunt with chains and locks. After the fox, after the fox, somebody's always chasing. After the fox. After the box Where is the gold It's on the truck Where's the truck I won't tell We'll make you tell Then I'll lie

You'll make your poor Poor mother cry Oh after the fox, after the fox, into the hunt with chains and locks. After the fox, after the fox, somebody's always chasing after the fox. Wow. How about that? There's the example.

Wow. How about that? There's the example. When I'm hearing you sing, just because you guys are goofing around, but you were in time and you were in tune. And so I just peeled it right off of the podcast and just dropped the band behind you. And very little tweaking because you do have this natural tone. It's right in there. I don't know if you realize it, but you actually stay in key, and you actually stay in time. I mean, you're in.

This is amazing. All right, real quick, while we got you both here, I also asked you guys to each come up with your favorite TV theme song. Yeah. And we're going to play them, and we're going to talk about them. John Fodiatis, you go first, because you know Gilbert has to sing.

Well, he's got to sing this. I was part of the reason I chose it. But also because I just loved this when I was a kid. I thought it was just so funny and politically incorrect and just a riot. And it's the theme to F Troop, you know, with the lyrics. I love it. Frankie. We sang this with Larry Storch and Ken Berry.

Oh, that's right. I've never when quite accidentally A hero who sneezed abruptly seized And reversed it to victory His medal of honor was pleased and thrilled His proud little family grew While bidding it on some blood was spilled And so it was my command That's true! I love the bridge.

Indian sights are colorful sights and no one takes a liking. We're pan-fried and fall-turned-chicken. When drilling, blinding, get them down, they know their morale can droop. As long as they all relax in town before they resume with a bang and a boom. Hit it, Gil. F-troop! I love the modulation. I also, I love the bridge.

It's great. Of that song. It's great. Indian troops are colorful. Where Indian fights are colorful. Nobody takes a licking. Licking where pale face and red skin both turn chicken. And then they have that stock footage going backwards, remember?

Oh, yes, yes. Very funny. So you listen to the Ken Berry and Larry Storch episodes and you hear us singing with Larry. Larry remembered every word. Written by the team of Irving Taylor and William Lava. Do you know anything about these guys? I know Lava wrote some of the music, right, for some of the shows. He wrote Looney Tunes.

He was an arranger for Merry Melodies. William Lava, he wrote the theme song for Cheyenne, the TV series. Yeah. Cheyenne. You'll love this. He wrote the music for the Buster Keaton episode of The Twilight Zone, Once Upon a Time. Oh, my God. Who was the big fat guy in there?

Oh, God. He was a very busy character actor at that time. Gotta look that up. Not Kurt Kasnar. I wonder. Look that up. And Irving Taylor, his partner in the F Troop theme. And Gilbert, you'll love this. He wrote Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime. Look that up. And Irving Taylor, his partner in the F Troop theme. And Gilbert, you'll love this.

He wrote Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime. Oh, wow. The Dino's theme song. Wow. Co-wrote it. He wrote Kooky Kooky, Lend Me Your Comb. Oh, my God. And this one's going to give you chubby.

He wrote a soupy sail song that you have sung on this very podcast. Papalafaga? That's the one. Oh, wow. Papalafaka? That's the one. Oh, wow. Pafalafaka, Pafalafaka, it sounds so romantic and perky. Pafalafaka, Pafalafaka, it sounds so romantic and turkey. Oh, I know that phrase will make me thrill always. Cause it reminds me of you, my sweet.

Just the mention of those tender words of love. Give my heart a Turkish-Purkish beat. You know damn well next week you're going to have to have that. You better leave now, John. I would start working on that immediately. Fortunately, both writers are deceased. Great. Gilbert, how do you pull this stuff out of the... I mean, you've heard these songs once when you were three. Yeah.

pull this stuff like out of the i mean you've heard these songs once when you were three yeah you know it's bizarre you know he pulls movie dialogue we were you talking about with the king of marvin gardens oh yes he recited jack nicholson's whole opening monologue from a movie he hadn't seen in 40 years it's unbelievable yeah and i and i sing the song i i've seen this like a billion years ago i sing the song to to Lords of Flatbush. Which he sang to Henry Winkler. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can't get Sylvester Stallone on this show.

Sure we can. Yeah. Wasn't that the first thing he did after porn? I'm trying to remember. The Italian Stallion. All right, Mr. Murray. Yeah. So as long as we're talking about theme songs and theme music.

Me and Gil are going to sing this. Oh, you're going to sing it together. Oh, my God. Are you ready? Boy, the way Glenn Miller played. Slow down. Oh. No, let's just do it.

Yeah. Acapella. Acapella. Yeah. Acapella. All right, go ahead. Acapulco. Boy, the way Glenn Miller played.

Songs that made the hit parade. Guys like us, we had it made. Those were the days. Go ahead, Gil. And you know when you were then. Girls were girls and men were men. Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again. Didn't need no welfare state.

Everybody pulled his weight. Gee, our roller Sal ran great. Those were the days. Oh. This is too surreal. I can't believe

I'm in this freaking booth and I'm singing that with him. Happens every week. You know why? This is really – I just got to catch my breath. It's the greatest moment of your life, isn't it, John? It is.

The birth of your child. And it's got that line that no one ever knew. Right. LaSalle. G-R-O LaSalle. Yeah. And I think even when they knew what the line was, they thought it was LaSalle College and, like, the track team. They didn't realize.

And then, do you remember, later on, they re-did it. Because nobody understood it. She, like, dubbed it in or something. Yeah, and then it was like, G-R-O, LaSalle ran great. Yeah, exactly. Written by Charles Strauss. They fell out of character. Charles Strauss writes a little line in here about Herbert Hoover, which is, you know, it's a gag that they're thinking Herbert Hoover was a great day.

But, you know, he wrote Annie as well. And in Annie, I'd like to, you know, remember, I'd like to thank you, Herbert Hoover. Thank you for Herbert. Yeah. Charles Strauss and Lee Adams. Well, he wrote Annie with somebody else, with Martin Sharnan. But Charles Strauss and Lee Adams wrote It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's Superman. Oh, wow.

A Broadway musical. Bye-bye, Birdie. And here's the symmetry. Bye-bye, Birdie. And our guest tonight, Will Jordan, was in the cast. He was Ed Sullivan. He just went full circle. How about that?

Too weird. Just went full circle. I'm levitating. Weird synchronicity. And when Charles Strauss, who is still around, plays it live, apparently he does a Gene Stapleton impression when he gets to the line, just like Gilbert did. So I got a surprise to take you out, a little piece of music.

But before we go, and Frankie has that queued up. You know what that is, right, Frankie? Yeah, that's the thing with the thing and the thing. Okay, but before we do it. With the singing and the music and the vision! I want to thank these guys. John Murray's disc is called Holidays Just Fly on

Private Eye Music. And John, what could we plug of yours? If you go to SoundCloud.com, Empty City Squares, you'll hear some of my original music and you'll hear the theme that Gilbert heard for the first time tonight. Maybe you can listen to it one more time, Gilbert, if you go to that website.

Yeah, I'm kind of busy tonight. Yeah, I know. You're clipping your toenails, right? So we're going to take John Murray out with a surprise that he may not know about and it's something Gilbert will enjoy as well. But thank you guys, John Murray, John Fodianis. Thanks for contributing

to the show. It's a dream come true. It really is. You'll never guess what this is. Boy, the way Glenn Miller plays. Oh, wow. It's Sammy. Wow. I found it.

Yeah, baby. He's got that Candyman vibe. Yes. Yeah, baby. It's got that Candyman vibe. Yes! It rocks! Yeah! It rocks. Yeah. I used to lose a man like Herbert Hoover again. People seemed to be content. Fifty dollars paid your rent. And freaks were in a circus now.

Those were the days. Sammy has his own touches. That's great. Wow. I love that theme. This is great. Oh, there you go. How about, did you know that existed?

No. I know. I could picture, while it was going on, like, girls in their go-go outfits doing the boogaloo. Of course, he's in the famous All in the Family episode. Yes. My favorite part there is and you knew and you are then.

What was that? Freaks and Circumstances. That was great. That's the original. Because you know in those days freaks were only the Circumstances. When it cuts that line, I was like, wait a minute. I never heard Carol O'Connor sing. That is my new favorite.

That is unbelievable. I think you should get rid of all of our themes and just use that. Beginning and ending shows. Let them sue us. I'm glad I picked a good one. If you'd play that more often, I'd listen to this podcast. See what I can do. Okay.

This has been Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Obsessions with John Murray. Right. And John. You got it. You're looking at the wrong one. Yes. No. John Fodiatis.

Yes. Nice. Who used to be married to Jackie Onassis. Really? I'm like the love child of Ari Onassis and Ringo Starr. Thank you, boys. Thank you for having us. Thanks for being a part of the show.

Thank you. We appreciate it. Thank you. thank you boys thank you for having us thanks for being a part of the show thank you this has been fantastic thank you hey everybody shout out with a song yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

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yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm a top like Gilbert. Yeah. Here we go. Gilbert and Frank. Come on. I'm changing. Gilbert and Frank. Come on. I'm changing.

That's awesome. It's like we're in group therapy. It's the best.