Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Mini-Ep #85: "Stump the Hosts, Part 2" with Kevin Dougherty

Episode Date: November 10, 2016

Each week, comedian Gilbert Gottfried and comedy writer Frank Santopadre share their admiration for lesser-known films, underappreciated TV shows and criminally underrated performers -- discussing, dissecting and (occasionally) defending their handpicked guilty pleasures and buried treasures. This week: Art Metrano! "Bonfire of the Vanities"! The golden age of TV Guide! And GGACP guests who won Oscars! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried saying to you, give me money. I want money. Just give me money to make more Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast. It costs money, believe it or not. You're over there saying, but it's so cheap and amateurish. I know that, but it's so cheap and amateurish. I know that, but it still takes money. So it's patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried.

Patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried. And there are rewards in it. I can't even say reward. Rolling. Rolling. And there are... Cut. And, you know, like signed posters. And some of you, if it's enough money, I'll roast you.

And there's so much, so much. But it's patreon.com slash Gilbert Gottfried. Give me money. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and I'm here with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. We're once again recording at Nutmeg Studios with our engineer, Frank Ferdarosa. And this is Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Obsessions. And we're here getting quizzed by Kevin Dougherty. Now, just so listeners can, we left off the first version with Madman of the People. Dabney Coleman. Dabney Coleman, Cynthia Gibb, Craig Bierko. listeners can we left off the first version with madman of the people yeah dabney coleman dabney

coleman cynthia gibb craig bierko there was some controversy in the first segment about whether craig bierko could be the answer twice but we shouldn't bring that up again because it got a little bit ugly well yeah and it may get ugly again it may come up again kevin kevin may is a man who lives by his own rules and our pal ke Kevin Doherty is here, and Kevin at the end of the episode, well, we have a little time before we start this second one. Why don't you tell us a little bit of what you're working on? What I'm working on is a

documentary about our pal, mutual friend, Drew Friedman. Yes. We're launching a Kickstarter campaign, I think November 1st around Halloween. I'm not sure when this is going to air, but sometime around there. And you can get some more info at my new website, ChicoNeededTheMoney.com. You guys can have it

when I'm done with it. You will hear from my lawyers. I couldn't believe you were all over that already. I just said, you know. I can't believe that. The documentaries are going to be called Vermeer of the Borscht Belt, but I'm not sure anybody knows how to spell Vermeer or Borscht, so I was a little panicky.

So I just said, what else can I peg this with that people are going to remember? What about the person who named him Vermeer the Borscht Belt? Are they going to sue? It's a guy from the New York Times. Do you know who it was? New York Times, yeah. I can't remember. I forget now.

Well, Drew is certainly deserving of a documentary. Yeah, and he's got a new book coming out, More Heroes of the Comics. Yes, he does. For Christmas. It's stuck in a ship someplace in customs right now, but you'll be able to get it soon. Drew could be one of your trivia questions. Who's done this show more than anybody else? I think, is that true?

I was trying to figure this out. Well, he's done four. He's done anniversary shows. He's done four or three. Certainly three, and he was present for Larry and Scott. Oh, okay. Yes, I think that counts. So three and a half.

And he's been mentioned, I think, on the show more than everybody since. A million times. And we'll have Cliff Nesteroff coming back, too, in a couple of weeks for a mini. Good, good. All right, so back to the quiz. And, Kevin, you've worked so hard on this. So hard. I give you credit.

Okay, this guest appeared on The Twilight Zone, hosted a syndicated cooking show in the 70s called The Melting Pot, was a mainstay on game shows for 30 years, yet his longest run in prime time was as a character. It's a man called Lauren Bray on Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. And he was not the first character to play that. Not James Caron. No. Not Marty Allen.

No. Oh, this one's a layup. Is it? The clue was, the telling clue is a fixture on game shows. And pretty much, I'm amazed he's done anything else because he's so a game show guy. And talk shows, too, I think you'd give him. Oh, jeez. Well, I'll give you a clue.

He shares his first name with the man who played Charles Foster Kane. That's kind of easy. He's the guy that Robin Williams calls on, more calling Orson. Orson. I just kind of gave it away. Right. Orson was a fun guest. Oh, Orson Bean.

Yeah. He was our most ornery guest. Was he? Yeah, which I loved about him. Yes. He kept insulting us. Well, I guess Einstein insulted us throughout the show as well. I think Orson Bean meant it.

I think he's genuinely Bob Eisen being funny. I love Orson. Orson was very grateful after the show. Here's one. And remember, I said I could repeat the guess. Okay. Damn it. That's kind of a clue, so I'm kind of giving you an assist from the outside of the paint.

In 1971, he shared the screen with Dean Jones, Art Matrano, and Hunts Hall in a show on CBS called The Chicago Teddy Bears. Another one and done. He first appeared on screen with Spencer Tracy in Adam's Rib in 1949. You know this one, Gil. Oh, Kaplan. Yay! We were kicking ourselves after that interview because we never got to the Chicago. on screen with Spencer Tracy and Adam's Rib in 1949. You know this one, Gil. Oh, Kaplan. Yeah, Kaplan. We were kicking ourselves after that interview because we never got to the Chicago Teddy Bears.

Oh, really? I have a vague memory of that. And two good guests for this show. We lost Dean Jones. Oh, yeah. Two good options for this show. Art Matrano and Jamie Farr. Oh, yeah.

Art Matrano's still around. He's in a wheelchair. He's in a wheelchair because he fell. He had a bad fall many years ago, but he's still around. And Jamie Farr was in the Chicago Teddy Bears. You bet he was. Jamie Farr, Neville Brand. Wow, quite a cast.

Neville Brand. Mickey Shaughnessy. Yeah. Something. Mickey Shaughnessy. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast, but first, a word from our sponsor. But first, a word from our sponsor. Iowa Debris and Maddie Matheson is ready to heat up screens once again. All new episodes of FX's The Bear are streaming June 27, only on Disney+. And now back to the show.

So look up the Chicago Teddy Bears for us, Paul. What can you tell us about it? These are fun, Kev. How much time did you put into this? I got nothing else to do. I got it. What am I doing? I live in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. What the fuck am I going to do? What's more important than this? This is great. I'm going to call a break.

We'll pretend this is a commercial break because I want you to tell Gil the story. I want you to tell Gil about Brian De Palma. Oh, cool. Yeah. Should we do it now? Yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah. My first film job, I think, was working as a PA on Bonfire of the Vanities. Oh, okay. In like, what was it, 1990 or something like that? That's a classic. Yeah. And I was working in cable television.

I said, I want to go to New York and work on film. So I got a job as a – and the problem was Bonfire of the Vanities was this big production. It was like something from – they don't do anymore. And so they were shooting in this trading floor downtown and they hired everybody because they just needed people to stop people from coming in the door they just needed they just were throwing bodies at stuff so i got a job my job was to stand in front of this trading floor where there was gonna be 300 extras coming through and check every person's id and go and this assistant director comes over she says you don't let anybody in without an id badge, without a laminated badge.

I was like, I got it. I got this. I can do this. So five minutes later, Tom Hanks comes by without an ID, breezes through. I'm like, hey, Tom Hanks. So I'm sitting there. I'm checking. There's guys running through, traitors, obnoxious little traitor guys,

showing me their badges, rushing through, trying to get pushed through my way. And then there's this guy walking down the hallway, this bearded fat fuck with a greasy-looking suit on. And I go, hey, buddy, buddy, you need an ID? The assistant director grabs me and goes, that's Brian De Palma, you fucking asshole. Nice work. So then I was in the parking garage for six weeks watching an empty parking space. So was it Brian De Palma who banished you to the parking garage? Yeah, I think word got around.

But, you know, he was wearing this baggy suit, and he looked like a homeless guy. I didn't know. Thanks. Now Brian De Palma will never do the show. Chicago teddy bears. Yeah, let's hear it. Now you got Dean Jones and Art Matrano.

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da Oh, John Banner was on the Chicago Teddy. Oh! Yeah, he was Schultz. Oh, that's right. Oh, God. Dressed with his Army hat here. Jamie Farr, you mentioned, I think, and Southern. And Southern. And Southern, really? She must have been recovered.

And Hunts Hall. Hunts Hall. Oh, jeez. I buried the lead. Hunts Hall. Wow. So that's a pretty good crew. And quickly canceled.

And quickly canceled. Quickly, yeah. Despite the stellar lineup. Cancelled during a commercial. What was the one that we were talking about with Schlatter that got cancelled before? Oh, Turn On. Turn On. It got cancelled before it made it to the West Coast feed. It made it to one commercial

and never got back. And what did it come back to? A test pattern? Tim Conway and Chuck McCann. It never came back from its first commercial break. It's came back from its first commercial break. It's legendary. And they were having a party for the premiere, and it turned into a party for the last episode.

Yeah. We ever get Conway on here. This guest had a behind-the-scenes role in a very popular sitcom, and she also played an optometrist for a one-season thing on the WB in 1997 called All Right Already. An optometrist? She played an optometrist, yes. That's a person who looks on the good side, right? I know this one, too.

Really? Yeah, because her sitcom, which was on the WB? WB 1997, yes. Yeah, which was, as memory serves, developed by one of her fellow SeinfB 1997. Yes. Yeah, which was, as memory serves, developed by one of her fellow Seinfeld loves. A writer from Seinfeld.

Oh, Carol Leeper. Carol Leeper from my hometown. Wilson Park, Long Island. Carol's fun. This guest made numerous TV and film appearances as an actor and part of a comedy team, but his big break came when Maury Amsterdam suggested he replace Burt Parks as the host of a game show that

would become this guest's signature work. He was in a comedy team. Peter Marshall. Bingo. That's wonderful. Well-timed. Yeah. Marshall.

Noonan and Marshall. Noonan and Marshall. I think Hollywood Squares turned 50 this week. Wow. Is there a current incarnation of Hollywood Squares? Is it on the air? Because they're bringing back everything. No, there was Whoopi's version with Gilbert.

I can't believe. There was a black one, wasn't there? A black Hollywood Square? Yes, I know. I'm not making this up. All black Hollywood Squares? I think there was. With Stu Gillum in the middle?

I think there was. No memory of that, my friend. Butterfly McQueen? Lay off the chicken burritos at 3 a.m. I'm going to look that up. I'm going to get back to you. Okay. What do podcast guests Paul Schaefer, Howie Mandel, and Cliff Nesteroff all have in common?

Not germs. Well, besides that. I don't even know what that means. Well, Howie's a germaphobe. How did you fold Cliff and Paul into that? It's the first thing. Oh, wait. It's the first thing?

Really? Dara ran in. They're all Canadian. They're all Canadian. Dara got great. Thank you for that. They're all Canadian. That was swift.

That was like Joyce Brothers knowing about heavyweight fights. Oh, yes. I thought they might be all Jewish. I asked Cliff Nesterhoff if he was Jewish, and I didn't get a straight answer out of him, so it could be two things there. I don't know. That was nicely done. Well, thank you.

Nice, Dara. Rode in like the cavalry there. Yeah. All Canadian. Very good. So, Hollywood, I'm not finding any black Hollywood squares. We edited that out.

I don't want to look bad. I hate to tell you about you. You're the only person who's ever looked for that. That's right. I got a little thing Google said no one has ever searched this before. But it did. But we just missed the 50th

because it was 1965. Hollywood squares? That's what it says. TV series 1965 to 1980. That doesn't sound right, It did, but we just missed the 50th because it was 1965. Hollywood Squares? That's what it says, TV series, 1965 to 1980. That doesn't sound right, but okay. Oh, we should have had Paul Lynn on. But okay. Regrets in life. By the way, you can also stop searching because there's also never been anything.

It's never been an all-black game show, period. You forget searching for the Hollywood game. I'm not sure any podcast has noted that up to this point. I want to say it was an R&B-themed version. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't want to say a black version. Well, there was Rock and Roll Jeopardy, so I suppose there could be an R&B Hollywood Squares. There was Homeless Hollywood Squares on Howard Stern. Homeless Hollywood Squares.

It's not related. All right. This is my next to last real. This is a good one. How many podcast guests have been nominated and or won Academy Awards? This is a tough one. Okay. Hang on a minute.

Are we talking about just for acting? No. Or anything? No. Okay. All right. This is going to be a little weird. Well, what is the number?

Do you have a number? Do you want the number? Well, give me a ballpark. More than five, less than ten? Oh, God. We don't have the air time to sit here and search. Well, Paul Williams has an Oscar. Oh, okay.

Let me change that number. Hold on. I may be going out. Are you sure about that? I think Evergreen won Best Song. I will check that out. I think Evergreen won Best Song. It was really late at night.

This was the last question. Nominated or won? Nominated and or won. Oh, boy. Oh boy, oh boy. How about the most nominated out of all your guests? Loli Grant has won. She's also the most nominated.

She has one, two, three, four nominations counting the one that she won for Shampoo. Okay. The second most nominated would be a male who's

got two nominations, I believe. There's a director. Well, Bogdanovich must have been nominated. Yes. Nominated 72 Best Director. Sure. Best Writing. For Paper Moon and for Blast Picture Show. Yes. That's two.

He never won, though. What did you say about Paul Williams? You thought he did get an Oscar? No. Paul Williams was the center square in the black Hollywood. No, that was Billy Dee Williams. And he won an Academy Award. They're often confused.

Did he win one or not? So how many times was Paul Williams nominated for an Academy Award? Oh, see, if he's nominated, I'm wrong. How many times was he nominated? I don't know, but didn't Evergreen win an Oscar? Evergreen, 1977. Okay, I'm wrong. I'm wrong.

I remember Paul posing with his Oscar. Also nominated but did not win for Rainbow Connection, The Muppet Movie, and Bugsy Malone. And Bugsy Malone. Okay, so I was off by one. Which is a movie people should see. Okay, I'll give you a hint on this one. The 1979 nominated Oscar Best Actor in a Leading Role was... Wait a minute, wait a minute.

What year? 1979 nominated for the Oscar Best Actor in a Leading Role was, I think, in my opinion, the scariest guest you've ever had. I think you were alone with him in California. I was fearing for your safety. Gary Busey. Yes. Gary Busey.

The one episode I'd like to go in in a race. Wow. I just have a list. You weren't even there, were you? I was at home sick, and Gilbert was in L.A. I just have this picture of Gary Busey hulking over you. Oh, yeah. And just like Trump on top of Hillary.

It's just scary. When I first got on the phone, he said the immortal line. Maybe the second funniest thing ever said on the podcast. He said, you sound like a, what did he sound? You sound like a woman in a child's wig. Wow. And I left it in. Wow.

I left it in because it was so goddamn funny. It didn't make any sense. Yeah, he got nominated for the Buddy Holly story. Yes, the Buddy Holly story. In 79. Well, that was stiff competition because I think Dustin Hoffman for Kramer vs. Kramer that year. Yeah, you better check that. I'm not sure.

That was a big year. Yeah, or maybe I don't have the years right. Okay, I'll give you one more. He was nominated for Do the Right Thing in 1990, a guest. Oh, Danny. Yeah, Danny Ayotte. Right. Did honorary Oscars count?

Because Roger Corman has an honorary Oscar. No, it wasn't counting honorary ones. But the best one, he was nominated for the best music original song. And he's not a guy you would think of as being a musical. I mean, he is musical. He's been musical in movies, but I don't think he's ever been in a musical in the mgm kind of tradition a guest a very musical guest but he's an actor i got a stew on that one for a while paul what'd you come up with 1979 yeah best actor nominees coming home john voight oh yeah that's a heavy

heaven can wait warren baity you were right. This was heavy, heavy competition. I got my years wrong. Busey was in 79. Robert De Niro for The Deer Hunter. Oh, jeez. And Laurence Olivier, a little-known English actor for The Boys from Brazil. The Boys from Brazil. Oh, wow.

Those were the five? Incredible year. Say them again. Coming Home, Voight, Heaven Can Wait, Warren Beatty, Busey, The Deer Hunter with De Niro, and The Boys from Brazil, Lawrence Olivier. Who won? Busey. No, he didn't win. He didn't win.

No, winner. I'm sorry. John Voight. John Voight won. John Voight Coming Home. John Voight, yeah. That was the winner. That was a great movie.

Okay, we're still short one. A guy who was nominated for Oscar for the Best music original song in a 2003 picture. He's in, he plays music in several movies. How many questions you got after that one? I think I'm done after this. I got one more kind of. You got a bonus, a super bonus question? I got a super bonus question.

Okay. I think I got this one because, and he was in this room. I think I got this one. Because, and he was in this room. I think the song is A Kiss at the End of the Rainbow from A Mighty Wind. Bing, bing, bing. And it's our friend Michael McKean. And he's also in Spinal Tap, so he's done a lot of music in movies. And props to his wife, his lovely wife, Annette O'Toole.

Oh, is that? Who I think co-wrote that song. Shared with Annette O'Toole. Okay. And more importantly, Annette O'Toole shows her tits in Cat People. There you go. Does she? I love that movie.

I don't even notice that. Did she get an Oscar for that? See, that was back when they'd had those movies with constant nudity. Yeah, just for no reason. Gratuitous nudity. Boom. I miss those days. You like incidental nudity, but what's your policy on gratuitous nudity?

Oh, I like that too. So the parameters are nudity and nudity. I just don't like nudity in a sex scene. That to me is too artsy. Just walking around everyday nudity. Yes. I think I see what you're meaning. That's what he likes. Changing a bulb. Yes. Replacing the road tracks.

A girl naked doing her taxes. Do you know what rule 34 is? Rule 34 is a rule of the internet is that if it exists, there is porn of it. So if you your personal turn on is naked women changing light bulbs and you go to Google and you type in naked women changing light bulbs.

Paul, can you read that? Paul, what do you got on that? That's what I'm here for. That's rule 34. Remember that. If it exists, there is porn of it. All right. You want one more?

You want a drum roll for the super? Okay. The super. It's 112 degrees in this room. Yeah, it's hot. I think we get more people in here. drumroll for the super... It's 112 degrees in this room, I'd like to say. I think we get more people in here. This podcast guest starred in a 1969 anthology series with a

rotating cast that included Bernie Capel, James Hampton, and Clifton Davis. Name the guest on the show. Holy shit. Oh, this is an easy one. This is not Ken Barry. No. 1969 anthology series. 1969 anthology series? Well, think about it. You're not going to, this is an easy one. This is not Ken Barry. No. 1969 Anthology series. 1969 Anthology series? Yeah, well, think about it.

You're not going to think this is an anthology series, but it is an anthology series. And he was a rotating... A rotating cast. The cast, you'd see the same people in it over and over. Ken Barry was in it at one point. That's a hint. But he's not the... But this guy was

like the guy. This guy was in like at one point. That's a hint. But he's not the... But this guy was like the guy. This guy was in like every one. And it's not Stuart Margolin again. I didn't say it wasn't Stuart Margolin. It's Stuart Margolin. Yes, yes. Sorry. I kept going back to... Well, he wasn't really in the vignettes.

He was in the blackouts. No, but he was in the series. He was in the series. Created by his brother. Oh, yes. Exactly, yeah. And that's all I got. What do we got on nude women changing bulbs, Paul? Here we go. All right.

Casual nudity, I think that's called. I got a video, and it starts not with a nude woman changing a light bulb, with a naked woman standing beside a light bulb. Well, I can't get too specific. That'll have to do. People with an Edison fetish. And any port in the storm. Kevin, this was a ride, man.

Excellent. Thank you. We should bring you back on a recurring basis. Like, you know, they used to bring Stan Can, the gadget. Oh, thanks. I feel like Eddie Munster meeting Zombo. So what do you guys got to be, Louie Nye? I found a naked woman changing the light bulb, and they won't.

I've got to sign in because I'm underage. I can't get the sign in. There's a black van pulling up outside. I can't get to it. It's like any Munster meeting Zombo. Gil, you won't get a better compliment. No. We should bring you back. And he will either do this or we'll do some variation on it.

Anytime. You know, you've got those TV guides there on the floor. I've got plenty of TV guides to go through. This gives me an opportunity to thank a listener named Lance Laurie, who's been sending me old TV guides and wonderful stuff. He sent me News He's a Collector. He sent me the National Lampoon issue that had the great Mad Magazine parody in it. Oh, yeah, yeah. What Me Funny. The What Me Lie?

Yeah, not that one, but he's been sending me stuff from his archives. Just great stuff, so thank you, Lance. TV Guide was the biggest magazine. It's hard to believe how big a... TV Guide was 20 million copies every week. What I don't understand is like when they changed it, I like the book form. Yeah.

Yeah. TV. They went for the big size. Yeah. Are they still publishing it? It's still published. It's got a circulation about 1.5 million. Where do you find TV Guide?

I see it. It's a big form and it's kind of like people. It's got a programming grid in it, but it's been sold so many times. The interesting trivia about TV Guide is TV Guide went from being the biggest magazine in the country to around 2007, the company TV Guide was sold for

a dollar. The TV Guide on the newsstand cost $2.49 at the time. The company cost less than a price of a single issue of the magazine. They were liquidating so badly. TV Guide of a single issue of the magazine. They were liquidating so badly. TV Guide was a big part of my childhood. Cleveland Amory's column in the back. It was a powerhouse magazine.

It was bigger than any magazine on the stands today. That's for certain. Yeah, I've got a bunch at home. I feel bad we're ending the show without the naked girl. Well, it's not a visual medium, Paul. I do have... Podcast porn. Gilbert, I don't know whether this will work, but I have a naked weather girl

rapping. A naked weather girl rapping. Rapping? I'll take it. You mean she's doing a rap like that's the weather? Oh, rapping like Rapper's Delight. I got it.

She's not wrapping the weather with wrapping paper. Well, you'll take that. That's something incidental. That's a normal kind of... Yeah, he'll take it. Coming up next, magic tricks on the podcast. That's my thing. Art Mitrano's going to come on and do his hanky bit. Thank you, Kevin.

This was a rare treat. We'll have you back. Great fun. Oh, so this is... Gilbert nodded off 20 minutes ago. You could quiz Gilbert about his career and he wouldn't know. Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal obsession. Thank you, Kevin. Thank you, Paul.

Thank you, Kevin. Thank you, Paul. Thank you, Frank. Here we go, boys. One, two, three, four. Give it up, Frank. Colossal Obsessions. Give it up, Frank. Colossal Obsessions Colossal Obsessions