Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Patton Oswalt Encore

Episode Date: January 27, 2025

GGACP celebrates the birthday (January 27) of comedian, actor, writer and GGACP fan Patton Oswalt by presenting this ENCORE of a wide-ranging interview from 2018. In this episode, Patton drops by the studio to discuss the films of Sidney Lumet and Billy Wilder, the “unnatural” art of sitcom acting, the disappearance of grindhouse theaters and the influence of “Richard Pryor: Live in Concert.” Also, Larry Cohen deconstructs Superman, Gilbert imagines “Titanic, Part II,” the Karate Kid opens a car dealership and Patton stages “The Day the Clown Cried.” PLUS: Praising “Ratatouille”! Remembering John Cazale! The artistry of Rick Baker! And “Francis Ford Coppola’s Dr. Strange”!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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or shake up your mood with an iced brown sugar oat shaken espresso. Whatever you choose, your espresso will be handcrafted with care at Starbucks. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast. I'm here with my co-host Frank Santopadre and once again, we're recording at Nutmeg with our engineer, Frank Ferdorosa. Our guest this week is an actor, screen and television writer, Emmy and Grammy winning performer, and one of the most popular, admired and prolific stand-up comedians of his generation. and prolific stand-up comedians of his generation. As an actor, you've seen him in hit TV shows like

The King of Queens, The Simpsons, V, Archer, Justified, uh, Mystery Science Theater, uh, 3000, the Mystery Science Theater, 3000! The Mystery Science Theater, 3000! It's Mystery Science Theater, 3000! The Returned Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. The Goldbergs and AP Bio.

You also know him from movies such as Magnolia, Zoolander, Blade, Blade Tritney, Blade Tritney, Blade Trinity, Blade Trinity, Blade Trinity, Big, Big Pan, The Informant, Young Adult, from the informant young adult and of course the brilliant chef Remy in Pixar's Oscar-winning comedy ratatouille Radat- Radatsui! The one word you actually should be saying like Jerry Lewis and you're- Radatus- Rammin- Raymondoodle A-Rabin- Shival

He- He's also- He's also a film scholar Huh? Yes And the author of the New York Times bestsellers, Zombie Spaceship Wasteland, Silver Screen Fiend and his new crime book, in which he completed the work of his late wife, Michelle McNamara. I'll Be Gone in the Dark.

I didn't write that one. I just, I got it finished. Yes. Okay. My God. Okay, don't interrupt me. My new crime book. Oh, sorry about that.

Yes, stop it. I'm doing a very professional job. Oh, yeah. Great pacing. And you're interrupting me. One, so it's I'll Be Gone in the Dark, one woman's obsessive search for the Golden State Killer. Welcome to the show a sought after comedian, actor and writer who somehow finds time to listen to this podcast and a man who actually fantasizes

about seeing a movie called Billy Jack versus Blackula. You all know him from Science Fiction 3000 and Rasagulli Rasagulli Our pal Patton Oswald! Oh, Gilbert and Frank, thank you so much. Patton! So happy to be here.

You are here! I am actually here, finally! Three and a half years. I could have done this way earlier. I hate calling into shows. I will hold out till I can be there live. We're so glad you're here. Yeah, it's so much more fun this way.

And you got a lot going on. This has been one of the most surreal, it is so strange how my late wife's book, I'll Be Gone in the Dark, which this morning, she was about this serial killer that she was trying to solve this case, worked six years on it and did not live to see it completed. But this morning I woke up, there were pings it and did not live to see it completed.

But this morning I woke up, there were pings on the cell phone and all these news alerts. They caught the guy. He's in jail. The Golden State killer was caught and is now in prison. Incredible. Yeah. And that's how I began the day and I'm ending it with Gilbert Gottfried. This is going to be one of the weirder days of my life.

No more surreal than that. No. Begin the day with a serial killer and end with Gilbert Gottfried. What more could you ask for out of life? Really, I mean that's that is seize the day, isn't it? That's living your best life. You could just talk a little bit about this, the book and what happened and I mean because this is such.

Yeah, she was a true crime writer and investigative journalist, but what she would do is she was kind of perfecting this new sort of method where she would use a lot of online resources and searching, because everything's being digitized now. So the stuff that normally would be hidden in police files that was... She was suddenly using Google Maps and DNA searches and familial DNA and geographic profiling to figure out, this guy was the worst uncaught serial killer in California history.

And one of the reasons he wasn't caught, and this is going to sound very creepy, was they didn't give him a good name. He started, he was called Irons. Irons was, in the 70s. He started in Sacramento East area rapist Then he stopped for a while shows up down in Southern California as the original night stalker They didn't know these two guys were the same guy for years DNA comes along in the 90s realize Oh, it's the same guy. They called him Irons They take you 10 minutes to explain what that means

Of course and then it doesn't catch on so she and They called him Irons. It takes you 10 minutes to explain what that means. Of course. And it doesn't catch on. So she, and when she came up with Golden State Killer, a lot of these cops were like, yeah, that actually is helpful because, you know, he didn't have a name that landed like Zodiac or Nightstalker. Marketing.

It is marketing. Yeah, in a case like that, it's advertising. It is truly advertising. You cannot keep people's attention unless you give them a cool name. Like, uh, Son of Sam. Son of Sam. Great name. Yeah. And I'm not saying that like, oh, yay, he's killing people, but if you want to catch him, take a deep breath and give them a really good name. You know, don't call him the third left up after the barn killer. Like, wait, what?

And don't let Gilbert try to pronounce it. Don't let Gilbert try to take it. It's funny. Like, you sell a cereal killer like a breakfast cereal or a dish washing liquid. And give it a cool name. It rings in people's heads. Did you see this coming at all? Was was this did this take you completely by storm? I thought it would be it was weird because the night before I was in Chicago doing a book event With the journalists who helped finish the book and Michelle's researcher and we ended the evening and Billy Jensen And yeah, Billy Jensen and Paul Haynes and we ended the evening

This is in Chicago where my wife was from, her whole family was there and someone was asking, do you think he'll ever be caught? And we think, and I think the evening by basically saying, I think time is running out for him. In my mind thinking five, maybe 10 more years down the road because he was so uncaught for so long, wake up that, I mean, we went to bed at 1130, I started getting pings at like four in the morning.

He's caught, he's in jail. They're gonna have a press conference today. They had a huge press conference and it was crazy. It's been a very, very surreal day. And now there's like, you know, he's been convicted of two of these murders. Clearly, if his DNA, if he's the East Area rapist, he's also the original Night Stalker

and he's killed 12 people and raped 50. Unbelievable. And also more that we probably don't know about. And former policeman. Right, right, right, right. Probably flashing a badge. And the reason he had to quit the police force, and this sounds like something out of a bad laugh-in sketch, but in the 70s he was caught shoplifting a hammer and dog repellent.

He would invade homes. And he was shoplifting a hammer and dog repellent. And then they were going to like usually and the force will usually help cover that. And he immediately quit like, don't dig any further. I'm done. I'm out. Which should have been very suspicious. He was shopping because he doesn't want any record of him buying these items, you know, so

Again, it's just the levels of the story can't end here. I mean there no Part two of the story has ended he's in jail. There's gonna be a whole other That's what I mean There has to be a documentary or something or well HBO is doing a multi part documentary about Michelle and the writing of the book Wonderful, but now this morning should happen the documentary is like, it's a different movie now, I don't know what's going to happen. Like, now they're all trying to figure out what's this whole movie going to be now. Because they're going to do a big, like they're going to do it like the Jinx or, you know,

Making a Murderer, a big, long series. So they already had him under two names. Under two names. In the 70s, he was the East Area Rapist, Ear, and he vanished, because one of the guys he was trying to attack, and he would attack couples. He would tie the husband up,

make him lie face down in the kitchen, stack plates and cups on his back, and go, if I hear any of these hit the floor while I'm in the other room with your wife, I'll kill both of you. Like it's just this, like these, he would break into houses early and leave stuff, like hide stuff, like handcuffs and ligatures

that he could use later. Like he would prep the scene and he was held at gunpoint at one time and got away. He would vault fences. It was just, it was really, and he and then then he vanished for a little bit because that the one we almost got caught spooked him then he shows up they didn't realize it was him down in Goleta and Irvine as the original night stalker and that's when he started murdering people it's incredible it's the whole thing is it's

insane and you must be numb I mean we we've caught you I gave it this is just yeah, just broken talk about our favorite buddy hack it move Why don't let me segue? It's a good segue. I'm a Laker into How do we get sick with the Lord love a duck? Which I remember it was quite disappointing well because they were trying, because God I wanted to love it. They had that little subplot and it's a mad mad mad world and the studio went there's our new comedy team and Well George Axelrod was somebody to be reckoned with but the movie's just kind of a mess and I love McDowell Yeah, and Roddy McDowell. It's funny. It's kind of like that movie was the original Ferris Bueller.

You could say that. This obnoxious kid who's getting it over on everybody. Horrible. Except you're not rooting for him. You immediately hate him. But I wasn't rooting for Ferris Bueller. And that's the first thing I said. Did you hear the Broderick episode where he trashed Ferris Bueller five minutes into the show? No. What?

He's sitting right where you're sitting. Yeah, I think I opened with it. I told Matty Broderick, who's a very nice guy, a fine actor. I was nice enough to show up here between plays. Yeah. You had a break. He had like a two-hour break. Terrific guy. He could get his ass handed to him.

He opens up and reads them out. But I had to open up the interview saying I fucking hated Ferris Bueller's day. What was his response? Yeah, well he was very nice about it. He's a nice person. Well you know it's weird how you look at back on some of these 80s movies where I liked Ferris Bueller when I saw it but I can't not look at it with my eyes down and go this is a movie about a sociopath.

Yes. He's a sociopath. Yes. And then there's of course you know the other theory about Ferris Bueller, of course. Is that Ferris Bueller doesn't exist. It's all in Cameron's mind. I've heard this. It's a fight club situation. I've heard this.

Where he's imagining who he wants to be. That would have been a good movie. Yeah, and he's... Yeah. Yeah. If he hadn't exist. But, it's weird. Tomorrow I fly back to LA and I'm going to go to the premiere of a new YouTube Red show called Cobra Kai.

And remember the movie Karate Kid? Yes. Okay, and the blonde villain Johnny Lawrence who is in Cobra Kai. This TV show, it's 10 episodes, I've seen all 10 episodes, but I'm going tomorrow. It's Johnny Lawrence, his age now in his 40s. Love it. Total loser. He's never gotten over losing the thing, and now he and Daniel Larrusso is like this successful

auto dealership guy in the Valley, and Johnny Lawrence decides to bring Cobra Kai back and try to get revenge, and it is so funny. What a smart idea. And they found the same actors. And getting back to Ferris Bueller. And getting back to Ferris Bueller. I also thought, okay, so the principal... You felt sorry for Rooney.

Yeah. The principal's a villain because he's got a kid who's constantly missing school. Once a person. And he goes after him as a principal should do. And so the kid's missing school, lying to his parents, yes, yes, he's a scumbag. Right. Although it is weird now also watching the movie knowing what you know about Jeffrey Jones and seeing him obsessed with a teen boy. Four turn of a...

And like, oh, that's not going to age very well. Yeah, him chasing after a boy. Yeah. That's... And it's a shame because he's such a good actor. He was such a... He was so great in Amadeus. Amadeus.

Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice, he's great. Oh, Devil's Advocate. Yeah, he's great. Devil's Advocate. He was the only funny part of Howard the Duck when he gets possessed by that demon. Remember that the alien monster possesses him and all his lines are hilarious. I think you and I are the two guys that saw Howard the Duck. Did anybody see Howard the Duck? I saw it

when it came out because I was like oh maybe this will be good and but he has a great she took my eggs when they're in the diner. He went underground the poor guy. Well what yeah what's he gonna do show up at auditions? And it's one of those things like I, you know, it's weird to say you feel bad for a guy, but I feel bad for him. Well, I feel bad for the fact that, you know, he did have all this talent and why couldn't he have, you know, if you're that talented and clearly that intelligent, why don't you go seek help or know it? He's self-aware enough to, you know what I mean? But it's tragic. And also, ultimately, the people that he messed with is awful, you know?

Because they were probably excited to meet him, like, hey, I like you in all those movies. And then, ooh boy, creepy. You know from this show, from listening to this show, that we jump around and there's no rhyme or reason to anything. Wait, what? There's no sequence.

I know, we, this has made perfect sense. We've gone from a caught serial killer to Buddy Hackett to pedophilia and then, and now we go to... And you know, you were talking about that movie that's made from... He brings his own segues. I like that about him. With the villain from Karate Kid.

Yes. I always wanted to do sequels to movies where like Titanic. I wanted to make a sequel where the Leonardo DiCaprio character does live. And the two of them get married and then she's going, wait a minute, we're in a rat-infested apartment? Right, exactly. And who's going to be cooking my meals? And why am I wearing these rags for?

Yeah, and also that thing of like, oh, wait a minute, no, you were my slumming side snack, but I'm not, shouldn't be married to you. Yeah. Like you're fun to spend a crazy night with, but a life, oh no, this is a, and you know, he's going to grow up to become a temperamental alcoholic artist. Yes. You know, who's just like, oh, I, yeah. It's like, wait a minute. Her choices were this very handsome, stable, violent psychopath and this fun but also clearly someday very destructive. Like, she just had no real options.

It was good that she got away from the music guy and the artist, she just, she nailed him and then let him die. Like, good. Best of all possible worlds. Yes, yes. As long as we're talking about fantasy scenarios, before we lose this, because it's in the she nailed him and then let him die. Like, good, best of all possible worlds. Yes, yes. As long as we're talking about fantasy scenarios, before we lose this, because it's in the intro,

Billy Jack versus Blacula may be my favorite from your book. Yes. Your wonderful book, Silver Screen Fiend. And in the back of the book, one of the last sections of the book, is you imagine fantasy films with fantasy directors. I imagine, yeah, I imagine a month of films at this place called the New Beverly in LA.

The owner died, Sherman Torgan, and I go, I want to program, yeah, The Great Sherman Torgan. I want to, I wanted to program one month of movies that people either dreamed of making or should have been made. Some of those are based on movies that were being developed at one point. Yeah.

Like, Francis Ford Coppola's Dr. Strange. Coppola's Dr. Strange, yes, which intrigued me. He was doing that back in the early 70s, which was like, wait, what? Can you imagine? No, I actually can't. You put Christopher Walken in yours. Yes, I did.

He would have been a great Dr. Strange. Young Christopher Walken? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Would have been an amazing Dr. Strange. What about Sam Peckinpah's Superman, starring Steve McQueen? He was developing that at one point.

Can you imagine? He was one of the, point. Can you imagine? He was one of the... Oh. They had him on as director for a little bit and he wanted... Wow. And my dream scene in that would be someone blasts a machine gun at Superman's chest and the bullets deflect off but just go into other people and it's a bloodbath.

All these people die and he does it in slow motion. Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Falling back with the arms in the air. And William Holden is Lex Luthor, really. You even put the Dreamcast together in each one of these. Well, Steve McQueen is Superman. I think you said, you said in the book, fuck it, Hackman will play Luthor again.

Fuck it, still Hackman, yeah, he was great. Right, right, right. What about Billy Jack vs. Blackula? Because those are two movies that have been discussed on this show. Yes. Well, I mean the first Billy Jack movie, if you've seen it recently, is so insanely slow. Yeah. Everyone remembers the ass-kicking in the park scene and what they forget is it's literally 90 minutes of talking with three minutes of ass-kicking. It's so bad. And then actually the original Blackula is kind of ass-kicking. It's so bad and then

actually the original Blackula is kind of fun. It is. You know. See now when they talk about Blackula. Sorry for jumping in. When they talk about Blackula. It was a little schizophrenic. They always review it and they say and the the great William Marshall and I'm going well What where do we know William Marshall from other than black peewee? Yeah, I'm peewee show, but he was also he was a huge Yeah, it wasn't he the king of King cartoons or something on the otheree Wee Hermit Show. Who was the other black guy?

Pee Wee's Playhouse. Lawrence Fishburne. Lawrence Fishburne. As the cowboy. Yes. Right, right. Black people on Pee Wee's Playhouse. That's a whole other new art.

How is that not some little hipster band's name, black people on Pee Wee's Playhouse? Also, you imagined a biopic, this was sweet, with your friend Sherman, played by John, the late great John Cazale. Yes, yeah, the movie goer, Michael Percy's the movie goer. Yeah, yeah. And yeah, that would be a good Sherman biopic. Yeah, just, I mean, because John Cazale only got to do those five movies in that one episode of Street Standers, it's gonna be gone.

Five big movies. It's so insane. He does five movies, but five iconic movies. Yeah, they're all amazing. Three best pictures. Godfather 2. And was insanely memorable in all of them. And playing characters that would normally would fade into the background with The Last Hatcher, but he made them so real the

conversation Incredible Dear hunter Oh dog day afternoon, of course, yeah that haircut Oh in dog day He was great. So good He was it was really weird because I did a movie, a little movie called Big Fan and my mom was played by Marcia Jean Kurtz who's one of the bank tellers in Dog Day Afternoon and um, in there's a Spike Lee film called The Inside Man.

I like that picture. And she also plays a bank teller with the exact same name. Cool. As her character in Dog Day. And she says while they're questioning her, you know, I've been held up before. And it's supposed to be the same character. Like years later. Oh, it's like an in-joke.

A little in-joke, if you know who she is. Oh, I love that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we talk a lot about Lumet on this show. We talk about... Oh, Sidney Lumet. I was just talking about the other day. Talk about that guy, he does...

What didn't he do? Dog Day Afternoon, Serpico, and then Murder on the Orient? Yes. The craziest shift. To get away from, to change. Change it up. Didn't he do Dog Day Afternoon, Serpico, and then Murder on the Orient? Yes, yes. The craziest shift. To get away from, to change, change it up. But still, but Murder on the Orient Express is so weirdly violent and dark.

It's G-rated, but that murder scene at the end, in the blue light, when they're all stabbing the guy, is nightmarish. Yep, it's great. It's one of your favorite movie moments too, I saw the Poirot. And he did another movie that's a favorite of mine Even though it's not a perfect film and and he himself thought it wasn't perfect the whiz and I know

That's where there's no scene But bye- bye Braverman. You were talking about this on the show and when you mentioned that Sorrell Brooke was in it, I'm like, now I gotta go. I went and downloaded it to watch it. Sorrell Brooke plays this kind of effeminate swishy writer in this big red electric typewriter

and it's kind of just a day in the life. It's really good. Joseph Wiseman shows up in it too, Dr. No. And Jack Warden, I mean, great actors. Yeah, but it has the pacing and the stakes of these little precious indie films that you would see at Sundance now, but they were making this in the early 70s.

Like the stakes are so low, but you care. When you look at his body of work and you look at things, and then you look at things like Prince of the City and 12 Angry Men and Pawn Broker, When you look at his body of work and you look at things and then you look at things like Prince of the City and 12 angry men and and pawnbroker and it's just it's a wonderful output He and the verdict and the verdict and Q&A and Q&A right and then what is it before the devil knows you're dead? Yes, it's a great one. Yes. Yeah, very that's the last one I think but I think he was like in his 70s and and it looks like it was made by a 23-year-old on Adderall.

Yeah. Like it sends so much crazy energy to it. And that was one of those movies that, those rarities, when you got those movies that grab you in the first minute. Yeah. Oh yeah, that was one of those ones. And also, it was, it's Sidney Lumet just going with his life and his skill, and then that cast. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that was one of those ones. And also, it was Sidney Lumet just going with his life and his skill, and then that cast.

Yeah. Philip Seymour Hoffman. Yeah, it's a wonderful picture. So, of course, you're into it. He wrote a book called Making Movies that is so kind of squirmingly honest about what he goes. I've done a couple of movies where you realize halfway through, well, this movie's gonna suck.

We didn't do it, but I got to finish it because and then you watch previews going, yep, this is, this is it. And he never says what the movies are, but you can kind of guess. Matthew Broderick was sitting in that chair talking about family business and saying he didn't understand it and he still doesn't. Yeah, I think that's the one where in the book he all but says, because he goes, I got all these huge stars, it was one of those things like it can't miss, and we're watching the early cuts and like this is, no one's gonna go see that.

Such a bum. Make any sense. And it was weird, I guess Sean Connery was supposed to be Irish in that, even though he's doing a Scottish accent. But he never doesn't do it, he's always a Scottish guy. Right, right, yeah. And so he's got this strong Scottish accent. But he never doesn't do it. He's always a Scottish guy. Right. Yeah. And so he's got this strong Scottish accent, but he's Irish, and his son is Italian.

Italian. And his grandson is Jewish. His son is Dustin Hoffman. Right. Yeah. And then his... His son is Italian, but he converts for his wife, and that's how Matthew Broderick is Jewish. Oh, yes Yes, yes, right. So it's so it's so an Irish guy's an Irish guys playing a Jew the Jews playing an Italian guy and the

Scotsman's playing an Irishman. Yes. Yeah, you got it set up to the shittiest joke, but it also wasn't the cast It was one of those movies where you know, De Niro was supposed to be oh He was a totally different cast and wow They just cobbled it together with and they're pulling off this criminal operation because of some Chinese guy BD Wong I cannot even remember this oh my god. I can't even remember this movie Yeah, I live in scratch things one of those movies that you watch it immediately forget

There's no there's nothing to cling to no nothing stays with you No, and they all must have been so oh my god I mean because that was probably right after Connery won his Oscar also for playing an Irish guy with the Scottish I still want to ask Roderick's father's in dog day. So he wanted to work with lament James Roderick is the in Dog Day so he wanted to work with Lumet. James Broderick is the cop. Oh at the end. Could you put your gun down and then he shoots? Correct. So he was on the Dog Day set as a kid and he knew Lumet. No kidding. And they'd never worked together and this was their chance to work together.

I didn't okay. Yeah but it just didn't happen. Wow that makes makes so much sense, but I still don't care. It was terrible. And I always like Prince of the City, because unlike Serpico, which is a great movie, Prince of the City really makes it more, you know, Serpico is black and white. Yeah. And Prince of the City, you go, you know, you're not sure who to side with. And even the main guy, Trey Williams, clearly at the end doesn't you know, you're not sure who to side with. And even the main guy, Treet Williams, clearly at the end doesn't even know, am I good or bad? Like he's just so adrift.

And he shoots it so well where he starts off with all those big wide shots and the shots keep getting tighter and tighter till at the end you're just stuck. It's so claustrophobic watching that film. And it was also the first time that anyone looked at Jerry Orbach and went, that's a cop. Because up to that point was that's right song and dance man. That's right. No, that's right We you know that face and then that was it. We love character actors like you love character actors

We had Tony Robertson here as in Serpico No, that's we love to get these guys in here and we had Bruce Stern and we had Tony Lo Bianco. I know you like What's the honeymoon killers oh yeah the the Cohen picture too the one with Andy Kaufman oh I got a they said the Cohen brothers no we have Larry Cohen picture God told me to yeah yeah we had Larry Cohen in here too I think I think you already told the story in the show when when when he Cannes with Q, the wing serpent. Correct.

And Roger Ebert went and saw it and he comes out, so you know the story. Yeah. Sees Larry and Arkoff. Right. Okay. He goes, my god, you have the most amazing method acting job I've ever seen in the middle of all this shit. And then Arko goes, the shit was my idea. That's a great story.

And like proud of himself. The great thing about when Larry Cohen was on the show, it's like you're listening to him and you go and I think 99% of this is bullshit. But he's so much fun. Like that nobody had a rifle in the opening scene when the guy's on the tower, when the sniper's on the tower in God told me to and they for and the prop guy doesn't bring a gun and he's got something like 600 extras yeah oh yeah down in the street and no gun and he got on a bullhorn he said does anybody have a rifle and some woman in the crowd said what we do and ran home and got a rifle and that was the rifle that they used in the movie I'd but you hope these stories are true. I hope they are.

I do know that he told us about how when the scene where Andy Kaufman is the cop who goes on the shooting spree, he, it was in there, I guess they just went in guerrilla style in an actual parade kind of, and Kaufman started taunting the parade goers, and they were going to kill him. Like they were gonna start a fight and then to get the Scene done quickly that I believe I could see Andy Kaufman just fucking with these people. But yeah, it was um, I don't know

He gave a really later coming at this really cool interview years ago where he said, you know Superman Superman never made sense to me because he comes down to earth in a spaceship in the 50s and Mom, pa can't find him. It's in Kansas in America in the 50s. So they're gonna take him to church every Sunday and a little baby Clark Kent's gonna be sitting there, little kid Clark Kent, and they're talking about this guy named Jesus who comes out of the sky who has powers and abilities that no one else has and he's gonna start going, I think I'm Jesus, I think that's what they're talking about. And he wouldn't have become a reporter. Like, would have started a religion or something.

That was such an interesting take. He's in LA. You should look him up. You should take him to lunch and hang out with him. He's a lot of fun. Yeah, I would imagine. I think he'd spark to you. I've met him at a couple of things, and I've... I think I got a card from him once and I lost it.

Or I just... But someday, hopefully, I'll get to hang with him. But he just seems like a really... He's made some very weird moves. The stuff. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh and those black exploitation pictures are crazy Oh, yeah, like Caesar. Yeah. Yeah up in Harlem and he's good. Yeah, listen to that episode for just you know, they never got permits I mean real guerrilla filmmaking. Yeah, and there's one called bone with Joyce Van Patten and Yafet Koto that's very disturbing that he shot in his own house. Oh Lord. And the whole movie's on YouTube if you got nothing to do one night for two hours. Okay. It's a weird fever dream. But talk about the stuff in the book and

it's kind of touching you know that your relationship with with Sherman and your five dollar a night film school. The beloved New Beverly. I used to go to the New Beverly. Now, you know, it's being renovated. Quentin Tarantino bought it. And he's totally refurbishing it. But back in the day, you could see a double feature every night for five bucks.

And I just got a cheap film education. But I remember, I would talk to Torgambi, he was always in the ticket booth. Like he was just this little face in the ticket booth, like this little Yoda figure. And I remember I went there the first time, May of 1995, to see Ace in the Hole and Sunset Boulevard. That was my first double feature there.

And then I went back, and I mean, I kept going every night, but then I remember four years into it, they were showing that double feature again. And I went to buy my ticket and Sherman was like, oh, hey, Pat. And he goes, I thought you'd be showing me a screenplay by now. Like, it was his way of going, you need to go and do some stuff. Like, you've seen enough movies, go make a movie.

That's cool. Go write a movie. So it was that little, like, he just kept track. Like, he saw the world through that screen, but he remembered everyone that came in and out. And it was back in the day when you'd go, a couple times I was there, Lawrence Tierney would show up. And I was watching, I was there watching Citizen Kane one day for that 900th time. And I'm half an hour into the movie, enjoying it, and someone sits down behind me.

I can hear the guy, and then he just starts, whoever this is starts talking to the screen and about the movie. Like, look at the fat ass on that bitch. That guy, oh, you're kissing her, but everyone knows you're a fag. And I was gonna turn around and go, would you shut the fuck up?

And it's Lawrence Tierney just rattling off, like, I knew that asshole, that fucking bitch. It's like, I know this guy. And thenney just rattling off like, I knew that asshole, that fucking bitch. That fucking asshole, that guy. And then it became great, like, this is the best DVD commentary I've ever heard. And now I'm really kind of digging it. And I get like half an hour of him just dishing on everyone. And when I say dishing, it was just like,

and that motherfucker right there, and that other fucking asshole. And then his little handler came in, some kid, and was like, oh Larry, there you are, come on, we gotta go, man. And then Lawrence Tierney stands up and says, I ain't never seen this cocksucker before, it ain't bad. And then he let, like he just saw half an hour

of Citizen Kane out of context, that's not bad. Even though according to him, that's all full of fags and bitches. That's just how it is. Okay, just when the show was starting to get good, we're back so they can pee, on their amazing colossal podcast. Kids, time to get back to Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal podcast. So let's go!

You you, of course a very important topic. You brought up Sunset Boulevard. Oh boy. Now I got into a talk with of old people Jackie the Joke Man about this. Oh it was Jackie that's right. Yeah and and you know in the beginning of the movie she's holding a funeral for her beloved pet chimp. Right. And story has it that rich women back then, like especially in Hollywood where this depravity was going on, chimps were trained to perform cunnilingus on so these women would buy train chimps to perform cunnilingus on them. This is according to Jackie Martling. Jackie Martling. And and

and she but then I looked it up on the internet. So you went to the verifiable source to get the solid information. Let's back up. This could be bullshit. Let's go to the internet. There's no bullshit. Let's go to the internet. Let's go to the internet.

You still want it to be true. Where they're reporting John Travolta died today. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, let's go check that out. The old gray lady, the internet. Okay, but hang on. Let's say that is true. Let's say they were training chimps to perform...

I'm willing to say it's true. Okay, but when chimps get older, don't they go crazy and get feral and they'll break people's jaws and eat their faces off? Why did we never hear about some actress getting killed by her pussy-eating chimp? Gil? Well, the studio.

With the Fixers. With the Fixers. Eddie Mannix. They would set fire to the house she was in and her corpse would be destroyed. Part of that story was that Wilder goes up to Gloria Swanson and gives her that piece of direction at the beginning. Oh yes, yes. Wilder said, remember you're fucking the chimp.

It gets better. Remember you're fucking the chimp. All right, we're losing the light, quickly. And you mention Ace in the Hole, which was also the great, the big carnival. Yeah, big carnival. And also, you know, the slang term for that movie was, because it failed so horribly, because he was riding such a high, he's like, this is the movie I want to do. I've got control now.

And they called it Ass in the Ringer, because it lost so much goddamn money. It was such a bomb. It became like such a respected. Pretty ballsy movie. Oh, God, it was so ballsy for its day. Yeah. And because it really is ahead of the time on talking about the media and how false. And fake news and how the news is whatever you decide to make it.

We will just keep changing this story. It was really, I think it was just, but he delivers the message with such a fucking sledgehammer because Kirk Douglas is such an asshole with no garlic pickles. He's just- Whole cast is great. Yeah, oh, that whole, yeah, the guy from, the played animal in Starlight 17 who's just... The whole cast is great. Yeah, oh, that whole, yeah, the whole, the guy from, the played animal in Starlight 17 who's just dying slowly in this goddamn mine. Yes.

Leo, we're waiting for you Leo, whatever they're singing to. And they're changing it where they have a way to rescue him early. Way quicker and he, yeah. And Kurt Douglas and the sheriff bury it Because they want him in the mine longer because they're making so much money And when he slaps the wife right to make her cry for the news was not afraid to play an asshole No, look at the bad and the beautiful. Oh some of those some of those performances. I think Mad City I think that Travolta thatman movie is an Ace in the Hole

remake. Yeah, it was an Ace in the Hole remake. And not very good. New. Yeah. Yeah, Travolta and Hoffman. Tell the story too, and it's a sweet story. Can you tell that Casablanca story about the New Beverly?

Oh, this is going to make me so sad. Oh, you don't have to tell it. But it's sweet, it's in the book. It is sweet, okay, yeah. One night, the New Beverly, it was a Friday night, raining, go see Casablanca for my 20th time, with all the other weirdos who, again, I look back on it now, I'm like, I was in my 20s. I wasn't bad looking, I could have been, but I was like, no, I want to be in the dark with

these 80-year-old film freaks, with their, you know, just seeing this movie for a hundred times and watching Casablanca. And right near, it's literally literally like in a comedy sketch, it's writers are saying goodbye at the airport. He goes, I mean, listen, sweetheart, promise you'll be there. And then the film broke at that moment, which is, it was like, oh God!

But it was so bad for it to break at that moment. It was all so funny. So we kind of started laughing. And then you could hear them fixing the projector and they didn't turn the lights on we're just sitting there And everyone just started whistling as time goes by in the dark while they fixed it the whole theater I love on a rainy Friday night. There were maybe 30 of us in this theater. So just like If you could have done one of those montage scenes of like it's

1996 in LA Let's cut to this dance club this bar this movie premiere this you know restaurant and then these 30 people just alone in this little theater in the rain whistling and then just cut to the next thing like that was going on somewhere in the city that night. There's just that image. That's the picture you paint in the book. It's vivid. Now it's funny because you talk about your childhood there or your teenage and twenties.

And I remember during my teens, they used to have revival houses all over Manhattan. Oh, wait a minute. What year was this? Like in the 70s or 60s? 60s and 70s? Well, there was the Biograph, there was the Regency, yeah, the late 60s early 70s was the heyday of revival theaters in New York. It was non-stop. St. Mark's Cinema. The Waverly. Waverly. And I would go to them a lot. I would catch old movies, you know, old Marx Brothers movies or obscure films. And the funny thing is now when I look back on it and picture myself going to those theaters, it makes me very sad. It kind of makes me sad too.

Like what was drawing me into the darkness during the years when I should have been out in the sun? Like my wife now, I've remarried and she was one of those people that, and she's an actress and she was one of those people that, and she's an actress and she's amazing, and it was Meredith Salinger, she was in Dream a Little Dream. Yes, of course, we met backstage.

Yes, she met backstage. I met her in the green room. She was quite a hottie, as I remember. Still is. Yeah, in fact, I'm sure I must have jerked off to one of her movies. She'll be so pleased. Yeah, yes.

That's a JD Salinger. Next time you're having sex with your wife. Oh, I'll make sure to mention that. So picture me jerking off, sitting in a movie theater with my dick in my hands, jerking off to your wife while you're, as a matter of fact, next time you're having sex with your wife, imagine you're fucking me. You got Dave on that one.

Yes, yes. Oh my God. For the rest of your life, anytime you have sex with your wife, you'll picture that you're really fucking me. Wow, thanks. See you in 10 years, erections. Um. Um. 10.

Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. But you know, she was, she didn't see a lot of movies because, no, are you kidding? She's making movies.

I was making movies, but I was also at the beach and I was, you know, going out with hot guys and enjoying life and I was just in the dark. But I love those little moments, these weird pockets of time. Like I remember reading about, there was some little coffee shop in the village back in the early 70s that, I forget what it was called,

but during the day, Richard Pryor and George Carlin, before they were who they were. Oh, was that Hanson's or something? Might have been, but they would do handoffs, just doing standup to whoever was sitting there. And it was like eight people, and then people would just ignore them, like, the fuck is this shit?

Because they were kind of going through their transformation. So again, you could do that montage of late 60s, early 70s New York City where this amazing thing is going on on Broadway and there's a thing at the Met and this restaurant and this scene. And then you cut to this little coffee shop. And these two guys who are gonna be giants someday are eight people are just like,

oh God, shut the hell up. You know, like I just love those little moments. Coffee shop and these two guys who are going to be giant someday. That's right are eight people are just ignore God Shut the hell up. I'm you know, like I just love those little moments That's what this show is about stuff We miss really is yeah that are errors we missed out on the things we didn't we didn't actually get to experience Why weren't you there for that? Yeah, someone pointed out that the hotel that I'm staying up. There's a little bodega next door We're pulling up today. They're like see that bodega. I'm like, okay, that used to be Max's Kansas City I'm like what yep, literally max it was Max's Kansas City. I'm like, what? Yep.

Literally Max, it was, and now it's a little bodega. New York's changed, my friend. Oh, and it will always, every 10 years, you'll come back and half of it's gone. Are you worried about the demise of movie theaters? I'm worried now more about, I'm not as worried about the demise of movie theaters. I'm worried about the demise of just a basic knowledge of...

of just a basic outline of film history, because it's gonna let a lot of people that are audacious, but not talented, get away with rewarming stuff and being hailed as geniuses or being... You know what I mean? Like, there's... It'll be less... I mean, there will always be originality, but originality's gonna have to fight harder and harder for air But the thing that's really scaring me right now in LA are all these weird little

small business Stores that are run by people that aren't necessarily in it for the profit It's almost like they have their collection of stuff on display so there's like a weird little bookstore like dark delicacies or or a little place like Secret Headquarters or House of Secrets or a little vintage store like Bearded Lady all along Magnolia. And what happened, like I was driving through Silver Lake, Silver Lake has all these little vinyl record stores and eateries and little clothing stores and knickknack stores.

And right near Rosemont and Sunset now, there's a giant, one of those threeplexes with a Starbucks, a Chipotle, and a hamburger habit, right smack in the middle of Silver Lake now in LA and East LA, and I'm like, that's the beginning of the end of all the small businesses. Once that thing lands, think of that as like, remember that movie, The Monolith Monsters?

Those rocks, and they would land, and they would just start taking over the landscape. That's what that is like remember that movie the monolith monsters yeah those rocks and they would land and they would just start taking over the landscape that's what that is and then mom and pop businesses disappear because the landlords go oh wait a minute but here's what sucks I have nothing against Chipotle and Starbucks great but they're they are accessible everywhere yeah but the two blocks of Magnolia that have those weird little stores that's the only place you can go there. And every week, no, they don't make crazy money during the week,

but on the weekend, they do great, because that's the only place you can go get them. And then people go shopping, then they go to a Starbucks. And they want to gut all those stores and drop Starbucks in there. They want to drop a Starbucks half a mile from the Starbucks you were going to go to when you were done antiquing. Same thing's happening here on the Upper East Side. Oh it is? Yeah sure sure. It was Yorkville. I mean it was you know it was it was a German neighborhood and it was all mom-and-pop shops for years. I mean until recently and it's being driven out by that kind of stuff and you see that you know so

the bakery that was that's been there since 1919 closes it just is and slow and they don't. it bothers me like that again I have no problem with Capitalism and profit but it's like what Starbucks makes 20 billion a year, but someone in the world goes But what if we made 21? How does that how does 21 change anything from 20 at that point? You've made it you should actually relax That's like that Hard in Chinatown.

How much better can you eat? Yeah, how much better can you eat? What can you buy that you can't already afford? The future, Mr. Gates! Are those cool stores still there like Larry Edmonds book shop in Hollywood and Script City and those places still hanging on? But like hanging on by their fingertips. I remember too, like when I was in my teens and 20s, I would walk around in the street

and they would junk stores that you'd go in you could kill your entire day in one of those stores. Roll bookstores where you could go and kill an entire day. Oh well like right Strands is still there but they used to be about a hundred of these tiny bookstores around. But the thing that was great about those stores was, not only were they selling books, they were also selling The Hunt. Of course. Part of filling yourself with endorphins is The Hunt. And we're getting rid of The Hunt.

Record stores too. Yeah, and that's why I did a lot of stuff on Record Store Day, the whole vinyl thing. Oh, that's great, we'll talk about that. Because they're all holding on. Amoeba Records might be going away. Or my Trink, you know, and all these other places. So it really, I don't know,

it gives me the heebie-jeebies a little bit because it makes me look at Noah Cross, and at least Noah Cross was trying to build a future of water and whatever it was he was trying to build. These people, they don't even wanna own the future. They wanna, there is no future if everything is just Chipotle, Starbucks, hamburger habit. Chipotle, Starbucks, it's just boom, boom, that's it.

And I can easily see a day very nearby where there are no movie theaters. Absolutely, I can see that. We're heading toward it. We're heading there and that's really, really scaring me. I moved back to New York in 2003 from LA and I think at least 15 theaters have disappeared in the 13 years, 14 years that I've been back. I mean and none of those revival houses exist anymore and then the goddamn Ziegfeld went away. Wait, what?

It's gone. Yeah, Ziegfeld's gone. It's gone. Oh shit. It's heartbreaking. Yeah. And nothing to replace it, believe me. I remember the Waverly would made that when they had El Topo, the legendary distributor

Ben Barinholtz. Yes. And we worked with the Coens. Yeah. But he famously, he took out newspaper ads the size of a postage and just said, El Topo at midnight. And then in the window of the, no poster, just a piece of cardboard, El Topo at midnight. No one knew what that meant.

And word of mouth, just, that's how, because I remember there was a Simpson writer named George Meyer that was like, you know, things that are just inherently good and interesting will catch on without, like that's why, when they have these gigantic ad campaigns for milk or the family well something's kind of weird about those but something like

yoga or some weird little me they have there's no giant there's no yoga council it just people do it and go I'm look I know it's gonna sound really weird me saying that it really works it's great go do it you know it does work it doesn't need the giant it's the stuff that is inherently shitty that needs the giant push Because it's not all that good and and I've noticed too in newspapers which Saying the word newspaper is ancient. Oh my god. Yeah, they used to be a whole big section of Ads for movies. I got some you know, some fans have been sending those to me

They've been sending me old newspapers from the 70s and 60s with the full page ads where there's like 20. I'll share them with you guys. There's no big movie section in newspapers anymore. No, no. And there won't be newspapers. Well, like you said, everybody, you know,

soon everybody will have a theater in their house. The TVs are getting bigger. Or even worse, but then the home theater's gonna go away because what's gonna happen is, That too. They're doing the VR thing where you can put a headset on and it creates the experience of being, and you'll watch, you'll plug in something the size of a cigarette peg,

but it'll feel like you're sitting in the ArcLight or the Cineramidome, that's how big the screen will seem to you, and you'll have on noise canceling headphones, you'll have this great sound. Now look, fine, I'm not against anyone's amusement, but a movie, you will see a movie, you'll see different things about it when you watch it with a bunch of people.

Of course, there's nothing like it. You'll see it all differently with a bunch of people. That's the thing, that experience. Well, number one, putting your shoes on and going to a movie theater. Yeah, exactly. And then being in a movie theater. Yeah, exactly. And then being in a movie theater where everyone laughs at the same time, screams at the same time. Or even when you're in a movie that's not working is so fascinating.

When there's a comedy and they've clearly landed what they thought was going to be a joke and the audience is like, Ah... Yeah, yes! Like that to me, I love. It's a group thing. It really is like, ah. Yeah, yes! Like that to me, I love. It's a group thing, it's a group. It really is a group thing. And then especially the other thing I miss about Revival, and I'm so jealous of you,

because not only did you have access to all these rep theaters, but you had access to Times Square and all those grind houses where you never knew what was playing, some weird thing that would, there's a guy, one of my favorite filmmakers, a guy named Andy Milligan. Andy Milligan made Torture Garden

and The Rats Are Coming, The Werewolves Are Here, and Dr. Jekyll's Sister Hyde. He was the ghastly ones. He made like Ed Wood look like Wes Anderson. His shit was so awful. And half of his filmography is gone because he would make films for these grindhouse theaters. They would show them for the weekend and then they would call the distributor going,

where do we mail this back? And they're like, oh, we don't want to fucking toss it. We don't want it. We're not paying the posters for that shit. Just, you know, send us the money you made and we're done. I don't care. And he would, so, and he would just, so, but there was no such thing as previewing it, a poster, nothing. You walked in and the ghastly ones, the fuck is this? I remember in Times Square, well, they would have porn and kung fu movies. But, but, but slasher movies like Maniac, or you could see Abel Ferrara pictures, like Driller Killer, or stuff like that. I saw in Times Square, I saw... It's all gone. Or you could see Abel Ferrara pictures like Driller Killer or stuff like that. Miss 45. In Times Square I saw Make Them Die Slowly.

Yes! Wait a minute. Catch them and kill them. Make Them Die Slowly is the jungle one? Like the cannibals? Yes! Both of them! Both of them would have like a half a minute scene in Manhattan and then they'd go to the

jungle with actual tribes. Yeah. Yeah. And I basically I think the correct term is fucking guineas. He's obsessed with these Italian directors who are working under in the states under pseudonyms. Well, who was, well, I mean, initially they made- Dr. Butcher. They made Sergio Leone work under a pseudonym. Yes. And then it let him use his own name. Yes, yes.

But there was this guy that was the, he was the Asylum Films of his time. He did The Visitor and Tentacles and where he would see a movie that was coming out, and he would very quickly crank out a- An imitation. An imitation, and this movie called The Visitor, that was his, it's The Exorcist, but also Close Encounters, it was like, he like slapped together three fucking... Don't even know this picture. Movies, and the goddamn cast, it's like,

Glenn Ford and John Huston, it is the nuttiest goddamn movie. It's called The Visitor. Oh, you have to go see it. I know a movie called The Night Visitor. Do you know this picture with Max Onsido? No. About a guy who escapes from a mental hospital at night and commits killings and then sneaks back into the mental hospital? You know this picture? Sounds familiar.

Sounds great. Also worth seeing. Now, a more recent film that's one of these like low budget, but let's see what movies work and slap them together. There's one movie, it has to do with finding lost footage, and it's after the Blair Witch project came out. Well, there were a ton of those. There was a shark one. So they found lost footage. It's all very shaky, cheap camera work, and where they're stuck in a place with dinosaurs. So it's a hybrid of Blair Witch and Jurassic Park. Holy shit.

Yeah. This isn't Roger Corman's Carnasaur, is it? No. Carnasaur is the movie with... I think Clint Howard's in carnesaur Has an and he probably is I know you got a Clint Howard thing. What's your name Laura Dern? Yeah. Yeah We had Corman here too, which was oh that must have been amazing Just to have Corman and ran and Larry Cohen and Dick Miller. Wait a minute

Laura Dern wasn't in Carnasaur was she? Well wait, wait. Which one's the Jurassic Park? That's Laura Dern and Sam Neill. Is it Diane? What's her name? Diane Ladd? Her mother? Is her mom in Carnasaur? Yeah, I think she's the mad scientist. Paul, research. Yeah, well, okay. Sometime in this next decade, Paul will come up with that.

But, you know, again, there were these little... I remember there was this movie I was obsessed with for years to the point where I did a bit about it called Death Bed, the bed that eats. And it's about a bed that, indeed, is possessed by a demon, and when people fuck on the bed, the bed eats them. It was a way to get, like, soft core, and then people fuck on the bed, the bed eats them. It was a way to get like soft core, and then people would just get dissolved by the bed. And it was this legendary like lost film.

But then someone found a picture of Times Square, one of these, with Deathbed on the marquee, which probably played for a day and then vanished. And then eventually it showed up again like 10 years, showed up like five or six years ago on DVD and I did a screening of it at the Alamo Drafthouse just so that I could see it. Like I should see this movie, it's so fucking bad.

There was some movie, believe it or not, low budget, and it had to do with a girl with this deadly vagina that had teeth in it. It was called Teeth. Yeah, oh, Teeth. The movie was called Teeth. And her vagina grew teeth. Yes. Vagina dentata.

What do they call that? Vagina dentata? Vagina dentata. Right. Thanks, Signet Freud. Right. It sounds like the Lion King song. Like the sci-fi channel, Vagina dentata.

What was that? Diane Ladd. Diane Ladd. We have a, we have a. Diane Ladd. Yes, thank you. Yeah, like the sci-fi channel, Vagina, what is that? Diane Ladd, we have a, we have it. Diane Ladd. Yes, thank you. Oh my lord. Thank you, crack research team. But yeah, the, you know, places like the asylum, and then also just people that are doing direct

to video stuff, that's the new grindhouse now. And also like there's stuff, Netflix has this sort of hidden basement now when you go searching for horror and sci-fi There's suddenly if you go like to row eight or nine It's suddenly these movies like there the fuck did this come from and you give it a check out. It's pretty cool I remember being in Times Square and and they still the idea of double features That's an yeah also gone, but there was a I wish to Christ And they still, the idea of double features, that's gone. Also gone. But there was a, I wished to Christ,

I had brought a camera with me, because there was a double feature of Ford Fairlane and Problem Child. Oh my God. So wow. So Gilbert Godfrey Extravaganza. Wow. That's disturbing. Wow.

There are some moments in Fort Fairlane, my brother was pointing out to me, that the movie Fort Fairlane doesn't work, but there are these individual moments that are so goddamn funny when he, after he comes and sees you, and I remember because the exterior is shot in front of the Director's Guild building on Sunset, it's like if the camera panned over he'd be across from the Laugh Factory. And you've just said, I'll give you like a thousand dollars, but you only give him a note, no dessert, until after you finish, you only give him a hundred.

And then he walks out and it's his voiceover, he goes, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money Dutch kick dance. It's the weirdest moment. It makes me laugh so hard every time. It's just out of nowhere. I saw you and Karen, your friend Karen, grabbing the Blast of Silence where they turned you loose in the Academy's film. Got to go to the Academy Archives and watch Blast of Silence. Yeah, they're going to let me start doing that again. You know, TCM is doing their big film festival,

they're opening their vaults, and the thing that they're showing this Saturday, but I don't think I can see it because it's at midnight, and of a very early Sunday, is one of my favorite movies. It's a Timothy Carey film. Oh, I know this picture. You know it? Oh, God. John Cassavetes' favorite comedy.

Yes, yes, yes. The World's Greatest Sinner. Right. World's Greatest Sinner is this movie, Gilbert. You have to see this movie. Timothy Carey, who is a fucking lunatic, and he wrote, produced, shot, starred in, directed, edited this movie. It took him five years to make. He would make it piecemeal. He would shoot some and he would kind of, so he kind of. It's legendary. It's legendary. And it's this black and white movie about a guy who decides he's got an insurance salesman,

decides he's got and forms a rock and roll band and forms a religion. And the soundtrack was done by a then 18-year-old. I used to know this. Give me a hint. I can't really think of a hint. I'm just going to tell you. Frank Zappa. Yes.

And it is so goddamn bonkers, but really, really funny. Okay, we'll watch that one. It's the world's greatest sinner, you'll love it. See, now this is something also that gets me, it's like, years ago, they could make these weird films that are totally out there. Like Spider Baby. Yeah, oh God, I love Spider Baby so much.

We got him on the show, Sid Hague. You did? We're going Yeah. Oh, God, I love Spider-baby so much. We're gonna get him on the show. And you did? We're going to. Oh, God. We're gonna get him. And it's like now, when they make a movie that looks like it's gonna be weird and out there, you know they made it.

Totally conscious. They were conscious. Right, no, yeah, like, the world's greatest sinner, Timothy Carey thinks he is making a serious statement on our times, and he's a goddamn lunatic. But he does not think he's making a crazy movie. He's not tongue in cheek, he's not trying to be funny, and that's what makes it so amazing.

And Spider Baby. A subgenre of crackpot movies. Movies made by guys who think they're visionaries. Deadly serious. Yes. Well, obviously The Room would be the grand, maybe the grand daddy of that. All of Neil Breen's stuff is amazing. Neil Breen, I can't think of a title. Look up Neil Breen. Okay, not familiar but I'm writing it down. He is the Tommy

Wiseau of, oh boy. Writing it down. Another star and director and then there's a guy, oh what the hell is his name? He made a movie called, it's either called Road to Revenge, but it's also called Get Even, but the spacing on the title, he squashes it together so the title card says Getivin. And he is, oh my god, you have to, they're amazing. Classic. Total vanity projects, but also I'm bringing the masses something that will change the world.

Yes. And you watch and go, what the fuck is wrong with this person? By the way, both you guys did TCM Essentials. What did you pick for your essentials? Which was late Great Robert Osborn. Yeah, I did it with the Great Robert Osborn. So did I. He was terrific.

Oh man, he was so cool. Lovely guy. So cool. Oh, and my movies were The Conversation. There you go. Lovely guy. So cool. And my movies were The Conversation. There you go. Freaks. Well, because you're such a huge Shields and Yarnel fan. More Yarnel than Shields.

Yeah, they're the mimes in the beginning. Yeah. That's right. That's right. Yeah. With Cindy Williams. Yeah. With Cindy Williams.

Very good. The Conversation. Forgotten that. Freaks. Oh. Ah. By the way, Freaks was one of the, it was the only time in a movie, cause I've been to a lot of movies where I've seen parents just bring a kid. Yes.

And then you go, I don't wanna be the asshole that goes, don't have your fucking kid in here. I went to see Maniac at midnight and there was a guy holding a baby. William Lustig. And William Lustig introduced the film He goes thank you all for coming out. We made this movie back in 1979 on a wing and a prayer Joe spinel and then someone Joe's but no fucking rules. Just god bless you. He's dead now

So after the movie, I'll be in the lobby. I might be in the lobby. Hang on now. I'm leaving All right right enjoy the movie that was his introduction for the film anyway oh the other ones of my the original of mice and men with launching or a chain junior and and I'm the swimmer strange films the swimmer with all and cast and a very young Joan Rivers and it's based on a John Cheever short story, or a John Updake short story? Yes, yes, John Cheever. That movie's incredible.

And that was one of those movies, it's weird, but not with that self-conscious sense of weirdness. It's one of those that, it's so different. It draws you in. Yeah. You can't turn it off. And it's got that actor in it from when we do a whole show talking about Chuck

McCann in the Right Guard commercials that... Oh, that guy whose name I don't know. Bill Fiore. Bill Fiore! Very good. A terrific character actor. My god, you impress me. And he said that. Yeah. I cannot picture him. Chuck McCann did these commercials for Right Guard a million years ago. Hi guy, he would open his medicine chest and the neighbor was on the other side of the medicine chest. It was this guy Bill Fiore. He was like a Geno Conforti type. Oh, okay.

Oh, when you were talking about Tierney, I once met Alice Cooper, and who became friends with Groucho Marx. Oh yeah, sure. And he said the two of them would watch the light show together. Oh wow. And Groucho would be sitting there he said going, you see that

action over a night scene? He was a big fag. You doing old Groucho with poor Dick Cavett hanging on everywhere like, please get to a joke. And the guy, how do you describe him? My favorite description was, he's skinny but he somehow still has a I'm not gonna use the perfect pun, I'm gonna use the perfect pun. I'm not gonna use the perfect pun, I'm gonna use the perfect pun. I'm not gonna use the perfect pun, I'm gonna use the perfect pun. I'm not gonna use the perfect pun, I'm gonna use the perfect pun. I'm not gonna use the perfect pun, I'm gonna use the perfect pun. I'm not gonna use the perfect pun, I'm gonna use the perfect pun. I'm not gonna use the perfect pun, I'm gonna use the perfect pun. I'm not gonna use the perfect pun, I'm gonna use the perfect pun.

I'm not gonna use the perfect pun, I'm gonna use the perfect pun. I'm not gonna use the perfect pun, I'm gonna use the perfect pun. I'm not gonna use the perfect pun, I'm gonna use the perfect pun. I'm not gonna use the perfect pun, I'm gonna use the perfect pun. I'm not gonna use the perfect pun, I'm gonna use the perfect pun. I'm not gonna use the perfect pun, theater before it came to Center Family. It was one time when I was like, and I wasn't being mean about it, I'm like, your kid was like eight, I'm like, you should take your kid home. He shouldn't watch this. And he's like, oh, it's an old movie.

I'm like, this is not what you think it is, and it's really going to mess him up. I'm just telling you. And I think they stayed for about 15 minutes, and the kid was like, I want to go. The whole movie, even when it's not a scary scene, it's still scary. Oh, it's disturbing. The long shot of the woman out in the woods with them and they're just kind of frolicking around is so disturbing. Oh my god. So disturbing. Oh god. What were the movies you picked before we lose track of it? Oh, really quickly, 310 to Yuma. Oh, it's a good one, the Glenford original. Glenford and Van Heflin, which basically the whole movie is about an older gay dude

who is sick of his young rough trade and he wants to settle down with another rugged old bear and he tries to seduce Van Heflin. If you watch it, I mean, he's lying in the bridal suite, up in the bed just going, why don't you just join me and my gang? And his Glen Floyd's attendant is this guy, skinny, blonde guy all in black leather. And it looks like this little rent boy. It's the weirdest.

And it's an Elmore Leonard script. That's right. Yeah. They remade it not too well with us, Russell Crowe. Actually, they remade it really well, but it was more like just rugged, manly, violent, but the original for the 50s. And then it had the great song sung by the guy that sang Blazing Saddles.

Frankie Lane. Frankie Lane. Yeah. So I showed that. I showed the, oh God, why am I blanking, Kind Hearts hearts and coordinates? Oh, that's wonderful Which is Alec Guinness playing seven different assholes being killed off by an even bigger asshole, and then I Showed these with this Colombian film called the wind journeys Worst title for a great movie is made in the early aughts about a guy who's convinced

he has the devil's accordion and Must travel to the edge of the world and throw it off. And they just, and he just, it's the low budget shot in Columbia as he travels through the landscape and it's so beautiful and he's got this accordion. He believes it's the devil's accordion and it makes him do weird stuff. It's brilliant. And then this Belgian comedy called Ultra about these two douchebags. One of them is a stoner that drives a tractor combine.

The other one is a professor at some shitty college and they hate each other. They get into this huge fight out in this field and the combine like malfunctions and crushes both of them and makes them both quadriplegics. And then they travel across Belgium in these little motorized wheelchairs to go to the company, Ultra, that built the pharmacopent to sue them and you follow these two and they become

even they're paralyzed they're even bigger assholes now and it's so it's like this classic Laurel and Hardy comedy but there's in these little and you see these long shots them just buzzing along these little it's I I'm not doing it justice but it's so funny. Where do you find these offbeat pictures? These... I mean, there's this subscription service called Film Movement, where every month they go to film festivals and they find really cool films

that get all this attention. You've seen this, you go to film festival, film gets all these awards, doesn't get any distribution. So every month they send you a new film and they send you really interesting stuff. They sent me ultra I'm writing these down wind journey sounds like they should have called us the devil's accordion. It sounds like a Herzog thing Yeah, it's amazing pretty out there. Yeah, and then ultra a al t ra

Let me ask you real quick a couple of questions from yes from listeners. Oh god, we're dying to ask you questions I'll go quick Chris Hankinson. how is production on MST 3000 going? We are starting next week, and that's all I can say. We don't want to talk about the movies that we're doing. Coniff was here. Oh, he was. Right in that seat. Okay, but we're doing some pretty interesting films this time around.

The last season we did, season 11, there's a film in there called Carnival Magic. My brother was a writer on that show, and he was like, I'm going to commit suicide if I have to watch this movie, because he was writing the jokes. I came in one day, and he was like, I'm gonna kill myself. This is the worst movie I've ever seen.

Your brother, Matt. My brother, Matt. Funny guy and a great Twitter feed. Funny guy, great Twitter account. This is quick from Big Daddy. Pat, and welcome to the GGACP universe. You poor man. You said Repo Man was a game changing inspiration. Yes.

Can you talk a little bit about either Repo Man, Barber Rosa, or Richard Pryor live in concert? Well, Richard Pryor live in concert just goes without saying. It was what made me go, oh, you can, a comedian that's like watching a movie, a really good one, is just as good as seeing a movie because of all the little images. I saw it in the theater.

Yeah, of course. Now, when you saw that film, were you aware that Marlon Brando fucked Richard Pryor in the ass? You know what, it was weird. I saw that movie when I was 11, and as little I knew I could sense I was like you know what? This is gonna sound really weird coming out of an 11 year old Pretty sure that guy was fucked by Marlon Brando. He has a fucked by Marlon Brando vibe coming off of him You're a hip 11 year old And those cum dripping down Richard Pryor's leg.

Is that Kurtz cum on Pryor? He's got Kurtz cum on him. Repo Man was just that thing of, it hit me right at the right time. I'm a teenager, I'm in the suburbs, I'm bored. I discovered punk way too late. And just that movie about having a job where you get to be an asshole to other people, that was where my head was.

You just take stuff from people and they can't do anything about it. And then some of those aliens. And it also was like, it's shot in the shittiest parts of LA, but it makes them look so beautiful. You just wanna go live, I don't know, that movie is just, I wanna live in that that movie as grimy and horrible as it is and and Harry Dean Stanton is non-stop. We love Harry Dean Stanton. Oh my god

He's so wish we'd have gotten him here But I heard him on Benson's podcast and he basically just he was on Doug loves movies at a live episode You know about this? No, oh you can track it down and he basically sat there and gave monosyllabic responses Yeah for about an hour. So I could totally see that. We didn't pursue it. No. This isn't going to go anywhere.

We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal podcast after this. I just got to ask you quick about Ratatouille. Oh boy. And Mike Chiquino is coming here by the way too. Oh. In a couple of weeks. I'll just, yeah, the rat is anti-Semitic. And this is not news.

Let Gilbert do it. Yeah, let Gilbert do it. Well that show, it'll appeal to the masses. Now I can't say anything sentimental. Oh God, go ahead. Or talk about how goddamn good it is. And how well it holds up. I mean, it's just...

It is so goddamn good. I mean... Not a false move. No, no, no. Not a false moment. None of the stakes are ever false. Brad Bird is just so, they're rats, and you're rooting for these goddamn rats.

And he went out of his way to make them look and act like rats. They sound like rats. Didn't they study rats? Weren't they studying, the animators were? Studied rats, studied kitchens, they studied, they went and they built a separate computer program so that the tiles in the kitchen would all be uneven,

because they would go to these great kitchens, all the tiles tiles were uneven and they made sure that it wasn't a nice grid They I had a friend who was a chef. It's like oh my god in the background There's always a pot of potatoes and water which every restaurant just they always have potatoes soaking the water ready to go That's what restaurants have it's a great all these little but they're just a little throwaway background details It's a great movie about creativity. And individuality. You can't decide where creativity is going to land, and if it lands some place weird, help it out. Help it out if it lands some place weird.

And that whole cast, I have to say, I was just watching it again last night, Enhom, and you and Janine, and Brad, and Peter O'Toole. The animators would have fights. They would draw lots to see who got to animate Peter O'Toole's lines. Because they played me his dialogue years before they animated it. I spent two years on that. Were you always alone, by the way? Because I know Gilbert was in the booth. Because Gilbert didn't interact with Robin Williams. No, I was always alone.

Most of what I would do it alone. Most voiceover you are alone. Yeah, and sometimes I would do it with Jonathan Freeman who was Jafar. Oh, oh because you're going back and forth. But even then when you're with someone they don't want you overlapping your dialogue. No.

You're still very much doing it by yourself. That's what always gets me when I hear these stories. Oh God, when Robin and Gilbert were together in that sound booth, that would be crazy. And I thought, I never ran into them once during the break. No, no. I do a lot of voiceover and I'm always alone. But I heard The Simpsons, or at least they used to, do it like an old radio show. Maybe they did it at the beginning,

but also think of when they were starting out. I mean, digital technology, recording technology, you can record shows anywhere. There's a show that I do for sci-fi called Happy, where I do it over Skype with directors. So it all keeps changing. You can do it so that, you know, and I think a good actor can, even out of context,

can figure out how the line should be and how it should land. And I had Brad Bird directing me. So he really knew exactly what he wanted. He had the whole movie in his head and he knew what the other performance would be like and how they'd bounce off of each other. You show a lot of range.

I mean, I'm watching the scene last night in the sewer. Oh, man. When you're turning the page, and Gusteau is coming alive off of the cookbook. And it's heartbreaking. Yeah, it's really. And also the scene where he is kind of breaking off with his family, he thinks it's one or the other.

And that's really, really sad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The world we live in belongs to the enemy. We must live carefully. We look out for our own kind, Remi. When all is said and done, we're all we've got. No. What?

No, Dad, I don't believe it. You're telling me that the future is, can only be, more of this? This is the way things are. You can't change nature. Change is nature, Dad. The part that we can influence. And it starts when we decide. Where you going? With luck. Forward. Terrific performance. How did he heard you in a... He was driving around... In his car? In his car. They were having trouble casting the lead. I didn't know they brought me in for the lead, but I was driving around. He was driving around in his car. They played

a bit of mine from my first album where I'm talking about steak houses. It's very filthy. I talk about a gravy pipe going up your ass and this is all... So he says. But he was like, that's the voice I want. And he did, and I've never seen it, but he apparently, he said he made a pencil test of Remy doing that routine. And he showed it to the Disney people and they were like, is he going to curse? I was like, no, he's not going to, he's going to, it'll be his voice doing the dialogue. And then they brought me in for a couple of reads.

And I thought I was just coming in to read for a rat. I did not know I was coming in for the lead. And then after a couple of weeks they're like, okay, you're Remy. And I go, and who's Remy? And they're like, the rat that's cooking. I'm like, wait, what? And it was, it went from, you know,

I pop up on shows to, I'm going to be the lead in a Pixar. You referenced in the book when you went to see Toy Story that you had no idea. You say 12 years into the future If I had any idea that I was gonna be no wouldn't have believed it Also, I was just like I thought Toy Story was this brilliant one-off and I didn't know that they would build this empire of brilliant films You know what I mean? Like you see it and also good and Toy Story 2 has has the scene that oh wait You know the John Cusack scene. Oh God, I can't even think about that.

It makes me cry so hard. Yeah, you know... They're all good. I always think like when I did Aladdin, it's like, had that been done like maybe a year later, it would have been like Tom Cruise would have been the parrot. And Leonardo DiCaprio would be Jafar. Right.

Yeah, that's the one thing about really good animation is they don't necessarily go for a celebrity because the celebrity voice doesn't really give you any value unless they're good. I'm not saying never use a celebrity. Something like Eddie Murphy is worth his weight in diamonds as a voiceover actor. My God, he's amazing.

Antonio Banderas is an amazing voiceover actor. But there's other huge stars that they brought in to do voiceover and it, eh. You spent too much money and you didn't, you wanted the name but then they can't actually sustain a character. And it's like kids watching the movie don't know We don't care and they can bring it look

What's weird is voiceover is very very just like live acting is sometimes a brilliant live actor ends up being a terrible voiceover Actor it has nothing to do with their skills and actually it's just a different I've got I don't want to name names But there's been some because I did a lot of punch-up on animated movies There's been a couple where they brought in some pretty big brilliant actors. You're like, oh boy Did you guys waste your money this person did not? Deliver this was not you know, whereas then there's other times you're like again going back to Eddie Murphy is yeah Just amazing as a voiceover actor can't believe you I can't believe what has he done

He did Mulan and he did the Shrek movies, is that it? That's insane. And then he did the PJs for Fox, but why isn't he constantly doing voiceover? He's so good. Maybe we need a Nyagho Remy movie. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. In the time we have left.

Are we done? Mr. Oswalt. Would you like to... Listeners, I'm so sorry you've gone on this journey with us. This really went nowhere, did it? I think this is actually a good show. Oh my God. Do you want to talk about... you can talk about... I'm going to give you your choice.

You can tell those funny blade stories. The stuff about Wesley Snipes is fucking hilarious. I'm going to lay off of those. Now I feel bad. He was going through such a bad time. Okay, let's not do that. I feel like in the future, I'm gonna be doing some movie where I have some kind of crazy meltdown. There's gonna be some guy going,

just write it all down. For all I know, he was having a horrible week. You wanna tell us about- Tell us that one. Ah! Instead, would you like to talk about working with the great Jerry Stiller? Oh, Jesus.

Well, I mean, Jerry Stiller was, he. Well, I mean Jerry Stiller was he was great although sometimes and I don't think he meant to do this but his His way of reading lines was so inherently funny that sometimes he would get a laugh on lines that He kind of needed to not get a laugh on because it would hurt the joke after it Like the way he would come in and go hello children, but it was always so weird that would get a laugh on because it would hurt the joke after it. Like the way he would come in and go, hello children, but it was always so weird, that would get a laugh. You're like, no, that's to just set the scene. Yes, yes.

He would get a laugh, and he did a read one time on a line about, he was with a bunch of, he goes, I remember I was hanging out with a bunch of bikers in the 60s, but that didn't, the line was, but that didn't last long because they treated me very badly. But the way he wrote it, he goes, but that didn't last long because they treated me very badly. But the way he wrote it goes, but that didn't last long because they treated me

very badly. Like, he like put his head back and you see him live this whole, which is, it was so disturbing that they went, let's do that again and don't take that, because that pause made the line not funny, it made it creepy, it made it, it was hilarious to me, but the audience was like, oh, wait a minute,

what is he referencing? So it was just that weird, and then he also just, like, he was in so many movies that I loved, like, you know, he was in Lovers and Other Strangers. He's in Taking a Pelham 1, 2, 3. Taking a Pelham, which all of his dialogue he improvised. Oh, I didn't know that. None of that was in the script, yeah. That's cool. And the reason he improvised oh me I know that was a script

Yeah, that's cool And the reason he improvised he says because at one time he blew a line is when math comes in he goes This is Rico Patron on the weekends. He works for the Mafia Rico tell these gentlemen the exciting things that are happening in the Transit Authority and then he kind of looked up at it from his he goes uh He goes well last week on the 9th Street Station. We thought we had a bomb. It turned out to be a cantaloupe. And then he goes, all right, thanks, Rico. And he just walks away, and that was all.

And then the director was like, just say whatever the hell you want. So then he just kept riffing that whole thing about, even great men have to pee. I like how you said you learned to act on that show because you kept waiting to get the ax. Oh my God, well, the first two seasons, I was so bad. I was so bad.

And the two things that saved me were, I really started honing in on Kevin James, who is a brilliant TV actor. And I don't say that to diminish him. Especially sitcom acting is so fucking hard to do because it's so unnatural. It's hard to make it seem natural. And he could. He had that Jackie Gleason, Danny DeVito kind of thing where he could make it, you know, make bigness seem like very real.

More to compliment. Yeah, and so I had that going for me. And then I also had, I had this amazing weed connection. I had this guy, I was friends with this guy that grew this legendary weed out in the Midwest and he had moved to LA. And one of the show creators was a huge pothead and I would bring this weed in,

I would always bring him a little bit of the weed and he was like, oh, I feel like partially he kept me around because I had this really good weed and it gave me the time to learn how to act. Before I jump off voiceovers, because I just wanted to go back to it because there was something I lost on one of my cards. This is kind of interesting,

you both played DC Comics villains. Did we? In VoiceOver, you played the Toy Maker. Yes. In a Batman cartoon. Mm-hmm. And Gilbert. I was okay.

I was two. You were two. Yeah. In the Superboy series. Let me guess. Mr. Mixleplex. How'd you know? I played Mr. Mixleplex.

I just had to be. That voice. Come on. I've been that in a bunch of Superman cartoons. No kidding. Tim Daly Superman. Yeah, there's Tim Daly one and I was also in the Superboy series I did two episodes Where I was knickknack master of toys. What? Yeah, so you both played evil toy makers. Oh my

god. On DC Comics properties. Yes. Well I played the toy... what did I play again? I'm so... oh my god. Toy maker? Toy maker but then I also in a college humor short I played the penguin. Did you? In a live-action short I played the penguin and it was this really cool series called bad man. And it's, oh my, why am I blanking on his name? Pete Holmes played Batman, but Batman is basically like, he's basically like brain damage. He's like the dumbest human being on the planet. But he does that voice, oh my God,

he does the Christian Bale voice. And they do, and I would say, like, a Christopher Nolan version of what the Penguin would look like if he had used him in the movie. So it's a funny scene, but the makeup is so, like, holy shit, someone should actually do this. Oh, wow. It's really cool. You can look it up online. It's a very funny sketch.

I, when we, one of my happiest moments, we had on Adam West. Oh man. And he said to me, he goes, you know, you would have made a great penguin. Yeah. Yeah, and I thought, wow. And maybe a great Riddler.

Yeah. Maybe a great Riddler. Well, there's a rumor. Very strange Riddler. Harlan Ellison pitched an outline for an episode, a Batman that would have had Two-Face in it. But apparently they thought it was too gruesome and they didn't do it. And the rumor was, at the time, a very young Clint Eastwood was going to play Two-Face, going to play R.B. Dent. That was the rumor.

You know Harlan? Yes. I'm going to go visit him next week. Isn't he interesting? How's he doing? His mind is so goddamn sharp. He's doing some physical therapy. His body's kind of frail, but he just does not lose a goddamn beat. And I think it's just from pure orneriness. He just stays sharp because he's so angry all the time. He's the best.

But he's so hilarious. Well, I asked for selfish reasons because we thought about having him on here. Oh, boy, that'd be great to talk to him. I mean, the stories that guy has. But he's so hilarious. Well, I asked for selfish reasons because we thought about having him on here. Oh boy, that'd be great to talk to him. I mean, God, the stories that guy has. Yes. Well, and he was also a crooner. He was? The lounge singer.

Yes. I know he was a trumpet player. I know he sang. He sang. He'll tell you about it. I know he used to also ghost write stuff for Lenny Bruce back in the day. I knew that too. Yes. Yes.

We should get Harlan Ellison on here. Oh yeah. One of the great storytellers. Oh., he this one of the guys who so many stories but he did a when he wrote city on the edge of forever for um Star Trek he had to get approval script approval from William Shatner And he he claims William Shatner rode over to his house on a motorcycle parked in the driveway Read the script in the driveway, but counted that he had more lines in Leonard Nimoy. Done, great.

Got in his motorcycle. Vroom, vroom, vroom. Vroom, vroom, vroom. Vroom, vroom, vroom. Vroom, vroom, vroom. Vroom, vroom, vroom. Vroom, vroom, vroom. Which makes, if that is A,

I don't even think that's true A, I want it to be true, and if it is true, it makes me love him even more. Yes. So much more. I spent a Thanksgiving with Harlan Ellison and Len Wein. Oh, no, really? Which was a late, great Len Wein.

At Ellison Wonderland or at Len's house? No, at Len's house. I'll tell you about it. I'll tell you about it when we're off. Have you beenlan Ellison and Len Wein. Oh, really? The late great Len Wein. At Ellison Wonderland or at Lens House? No, at Lens House. I'll tell you about it when we're off. Have you been to Ellison Wonderland? I have not had the pleasure. Dude. With the secret rooms and the hidden passageways.

Oh my God, the weird, yeah, the tower. I moved out of LA. Mick Jagger used to crash there. I know. Back in the day. Yeah. And they, oh, you guys will love this. There's a Bill Rossler softcore nudie flick called The Godson with Ushi Degard,

one of my favorite Russ Meyer actresses, that was shot almost entirely inside Ellison Wonderland back in the 60s. No shit. So if you wanna see what his house looks like, go watch The Godson by William Rossler. I'm writing all this down. Yeah, and-

And you have to see Larry Cohen's bone. And goddamn Harlan Ellison gets to bury his face between Ushi Degard's breasts, for which I will forever hate him. I remember asking him why he wanted to write for the Flying Nun back in the day, and he said, well, obviously, I wanted to fuck Sally Field. That's good as it is.

Just the right answer. Yeah, you have to. And it's getting late and Dave's here. You're wonderful. Do you want to quickly tell the Day of the Clown Cried story? Because I know Gilbert will appreciate it. Oh, God. Okay, very, very quickly.

I came in possession of the shooting script for the Day of the Clown Cried, which I sat down and read the script. This is way back. I'm in 95, 96. And it's a goddamn bonkers script because it was Jonah Bryan and Someone Denton. Oh, yes, and they wrote a very serious script And then he can you can see where he swooped in and did his comedy pass like the scene where he's pissing ice literally pissing ice so I

Boiled it down to like the scenes that really worked and I would do these invite only stage readings of it with David Cross and John Glaser, Stephen Colbert narrated it one time. We did them in New York and LA. And then I got busted because the LA Weekly caught wind of it and did a whole pick of the week. The Day of the Clown cried,

and then we were served with seasoned assist papers at this theater we were gonna do it at in Santa Monica. I thought they were from Jerry Lewis, but it turns out it's from this producer who had the right to the original script, who wanted to do it, and at the time he was like, I have got, I'm not gonna let a bunch of goddamn nobodies read this thing in some shit ass theater in Santa Monica.

I've got Chevy Chase interested in this. And that night, you know, he was screaming at me and then I told him, and Bob Odenkirk was in the cast. And then so we did a whole show about being shut down and Bob and Dave did a sketch about the guy finding out about it. And my favorite line was, "'Chevy Chase was born to play a clown who marches children into an oven

It was like so goddamn hilarious So yeah, just all so it had all these like, you know, it was just I don't know It was one of those very surreal and then you got to meet Jerry for that Well, yeah while I was doing these, the year that Henny Youngman died, they brought in, Jerry Lewis wanted to bring in all these young comedians to go up and read one of Henny Youngman's jokes in a line, like boom, as a tribute. Which I was, I love Henny Youngman.

Me too. Have you listened to one of his albums recently? I'd forgotten how fast the pace on it is a machine gun of jokes. I remember... There's no breathing room. I once went out to lunch with Henny Youngman. Really? And it was great because he that's who he was. But it's such a... people keep forgetting like they hear his his jokes isolated. Yeah. They go okay that's a funny joke. I don't see why this guy, but it's not the,

the pacing is so relentless. That while you can't keep up with the, it's like the death by a thousand cuts, where after a while it just becomes almost excruciating how funny it is because it's these little laughs just keep building and building. And it's amazing, listen to this, so, and they were trying this out,

and then they ended up cutting the sketch, and Jerry's sitting there, and he's always wearing shorts. Always wearing shorts. And his zip-up jacket. But on his desk, he had that, the rumor was, he had that big silver briefcase, the bulletproof briefcase, that had the reels for the day the clown cried in it.

That was the room that he would always carry it around. And I'm like, I should fucking grab that and just run. I should grab it and run, and then I will be chased around the city. There'll be helicopters, but I'm like, if I can just get this through a thing, I could transfer to videotape and just get it out there virally.

Like I'd be in jail, but I would be this weird folk hero. Yeah, exactly. Like a noir film where I have the day the clown cried and the city's trying to get me. Well, wasn't the rumor that he would go into a room with a suitcase and he would... With a tape recorder. And he would secretly record conversations.

He would pretend to leave it in the room. Oh, Jesus Christ. So that he would record what people said about him when he left? Yeah, they even made a Seinfeld episode based on that. That was the rumor. Really? He would leave it and then come back for it. Say, oh I left my suitcase but it was recording what people said about him. When you think about it, at first you go, oh

God, what an asshole. Then you think, God, what are people saying about him? It's an ingenious idea. Yeah. Well, I heard that Brian Grazier, I don't know if it's true, there's another thing that I've heard, I've actually heard this confirmed, which makes me love him. He apparently, when he goes and gets invited to someone's party, he'll have hidden in his pocket a little framed photo of himself, a rose and a couple of candles.

And he'll go into one of the other rooms and he'll set up this little like altar to himself. And then people are like, why do they have candles and a flower in front of a picture of Brian, like, which I think is the funniest thing I've ever heard. Again, I want it to be true, and I also want to steal that,

like go to a friend's house and then just lay down there like, why do we, is there an altar to Pat? What is it like? Oh man. The funny idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And before we jump, I just, I want to mention that you also liked the documentary.

You tweeted about it. Oh my God, that documentary. You tweeted about it. Oh my God. That documentary. So we give Neil Berkley his props. Is so, because it's structured so brilliantly where you open up on the life of Gilbert Godfrey and they show him doing sketches and stand up and oh my God, he's such a weirdo. And then you reveal the wife who's so sweet, it's the opposite of the monster reveal.

It's the shark in Jaws coming out of the water, but what the shark is is a quiet, normal life, and it's the last thing you expect to see coming in this documentary, and it's genuinely shocking. Oh wait, his wife and kids are off to meet, wait a minute, what the fuck was that first 10 minutes? I literally thought he lived in a bus station or something. Yeah, exactly.

You show up in there. For a second, but the way the opening is structured is so brilliant. Yeah. Because you just don't see that coming. Yeah, and it's funny because I didn't wanna do it at all, but boy, what, yeah, Neil Berkley. Yeah, I have to give him his props.

Anyway, it's called Gilbert yeah it's so good what the first 15 minutes are structured so brilliantly great reveal of your delightful normal life with your beautiful apartment really well again I thought it would be one actually you know what and I mean this in as respectfully I thought you'd be living one of those classic Manhattan kind of misanthrope small apartment, like crammed with, cause you see guys like that, like Ratso Sloman. People like that that have that great, you know, like.

Like Joe Franklin's office? Yeah, exactly, yeah, weird like rat pack kind of thing, but there's something kind of beautiful about that too. I'm like, yeah, that's obviously That's how he lives like oh my god that that is the most beautiful Nice comfortable room like how the Great and then and then you get you brought back down to earth watching him wash his socks in a hotel So and then yeah, and then also when they oh well you're brought back into earth when he drags out from under his bed the gigantic post-apocalyptic Tupperware thing full of soaps and shampoos. Soaps, conditioner, skin lotions.

That is the, that is the, and that's the scene like in the 90s serial killer movie when they, like the person realizes her husband's nuts when she finds the weird scrapbook or the weird box like oh my god he collects children's shoes you know like that kind of that was a weird trope of the in the 90s they always had I called it the hanging scrapbook where the killer would keep a shoe box or scrapbook full of incriminating things the photographs but like like out, just like, I hope no one opens this drawer and finds enough stuff to put me in the gas chamber. I think they go in the apartment in seven,

and everything's all over the walls. But they do that almost as it, like I'm talking about in movies like, Misery and Single White Female and Fatal Attraction, there are these like things of like, hey, I hope no one opens that up and sees that I'm a massive criminal. Yeah, they would have these movies where the walls were completely covered.

Yes. Yeah, really if anyone comes in here you know you're going to jail. Yes. Yeah. So. My favorite moment in the movie is Bill Burr saying he's, what the fuck is he riding the bus? Does he think anybody's gonna, if somebody's gonna, is somebody gonna see him and go is

that Gilbert Gottfried? And at that moment, Mule cuts to this black woman doing a complete 380. And she goes, is that Gilbert? So wonderful. Yeah. Well, guys, I'm so glad I got to do this.

And this is what's so insane about this, is this is the first time we've met The first time I've ever gotten to meet you. Yeah, and I've heard so many literally what I was true Oh first time ever unbelievable. And yes, I'm taking a picture and I'm saying Think of how my day started. This is how it ended. I'm gonna put that on Your such fans of light other yeah, it's weird Well because you work when you get to a certain level in comedy And this isn't a brag you don't get to see your friends as much because because you're now you're working You're not doing the hang now. You're all hanging out like you know there was time with I would see

Blank Apache and Brian Poisein and Greg Barron every day of my life because we had all day And then when you start getting busy and working, I don't get to see Brian that much and we're still like best friends but, and I'm not upset, I'm happy he's working. I don't want us to be hanging out for five hours a day because that means something's gone horribly wrong in our lives.

Well, so the next time Gilbertson LA, Yes. Yes, you have one of two invitations. You can drive down to San Diego, because Tippy Hedren invited us to come to the Lion Reserve. Oh, really? Yes, you can go, you can take them up on that, and a little more downscale, you can go to Bob Burns' house. I've already been. I lived like three blocks from him, and I would go to his Halloween parties. Oh, you went to those? Any of the best? I have an invitation to go to Guillermo del Toro's house.

Oh! Which is, I don't know if you've seen pictures of the interior. No! Oh, Gilbert, go look up Guillermo del Toro's house and look how he decorates the inside of his house. You'll lose your mind. And, and... It's the stuff you love.

I did like a weekend at a club in Pittsburgh and I was bored out of my wits during the day as you always are. And what's his name? Savini. Savini. Tom Savini. No shit. Invited him after the fact.

And he's got a big house with all his monster stuff. I got to tour Rick Baker's house and I have an open invitation. Oh my god. Where Rick Baker lives. His basement house and I have an open invitation. Oh my god! His basement alone is insane. Oh my god! He's right into Luke O'Lake. You guys will have to do. When you guys come out let me know I will, Rick will love to have you over. Oh I love. And he is a fascinating, he worked on Star Wars for god's sake. I know. He did the cantina scene and he has all the original masks on the wall. And then we can we go to Rosenthal's house for the pizza? Oh, absolutely.

Every Sunday. Yeah, I'll bring you over. I'm in. He actually created a lot of the stuff that was in the Howling. Oh, I mean, he not only did he create, it wasn't even that he created makeups. He created techniques and bits of hardware that are now just standard issue that he had to build from the ground up they didn't exist until he built them. Right, brilliant. He's a genius. And there's a movie that he did the makeup for where if when you

watch it now you think if someone said this guy's gonna be a legendary makeup artist. Right, right. He'd go go fuck his own. And Octoman. He did Octoman? Yes. Is that a Corman thing? Yeah, he's half Octopus, half Man. I need to look because I thought one of his early ones was this one they did on Mystery Science Theater called Squirm. Oh, that I think Jeff Lieberman. With the yeah with the worms this guy has like Oh, that's Jeff Lieberman. With the worms, this guy has like, look at worm face or some weird kind of... But he's a genius. He is a genius.

Oh, brilliant. My God, yeah. Now, is he retired now? I think he's retired, but he does like, I mean, he does lectures and books, but his... Of course he's retired. There's nothing left for him to invent at this point, you know? But the one good thing that's weird is now that he's retired, there's a generation of filmmakers coming up that have kind of rejected CGI

and are trying to go back to practical effects because CGI just doesn't stun anyone anymore. They're just like, well, yeah, it's fake. But if you can find a way to do it practically, it freaks people out. Let this man go home. He's gotta get up at seven o'clock and be on television. Yeah So but all right feel like let me know if you're coming. Let me know

Oh, I want to watch I want to watch you react to Rick Baker's house That would be fascinating and his every year for his Halloween cards the makeup he does for his family. Oh, wow I'll bet what this thing just one more thing with Computerization I think Roger Ebert said Computer you know CGI Looks real but feels fake Stop action yes looks fake looks real, but feels fake. Uh, stop action. Yes.

Looks fake, but feels real. Because there's a sense of wonder and magic to it that you connect with, whereas all you can, the most you can do with CGI is just go, well, that's technically very solid. Yes, yeah. But it doesn't thrill you. No imagination.

Because I think with stop motion, like, Jesus, he had to do that with clay. How did they pull that off? Yeah. Because I think with Tom Ocean, like, Jesus, he had to do that with Clay. How did they pull that off? Yeah. The guy fighting five different skeletons, and then your brain goes, they had to coordinate that actor, and then they had to make sure to get the,

it's incredible. Exhausting. Thanks for doing this, man. I'm being old. To wrap up. Only about 40 minutes ago. Yes. Why split hairs?

So, this has been Gilbert and Frank's. Nope, it's the other show. Oh this Yes, you're consistent my god, this has been Gilbert Gottfried amazing colossal podcast with my co-host Frank Santo Padre and We've been talking to a man who's going to go home, have sex with his wife, and imagine that I'm fucking him in the ass like he's Ned Beatty. Meredith, please, if Meredith Sounders is listening to this, please, I'm gonna make sure she does not listen to this podcast. Pat, Pat Nussbaum. We'll see you in LA. Thank you guys. Music