Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Paul Feig Encore

Episode Date: September 16, 2024

GGACP celebrates the birthday (September 17) of writer, director and actor Paul Feig ("Bridesmaids," "Ghostbusters," A Simple Favor") with this ENCORE of a memorable interview from 2018. In this episode, Paul shares his thoughts on an eclectic mix of topics, including the appeal of "cringe" comedy, the influence of Mad magazine, the legacy of Charles M. Schulz and the untimely demise of "Freaks and Geeks." Also, Thurston Howell sings the blues, Jim Nabors sings "Ave Maria," George Lazenby tangles with Telly Savalas, and Gilbert introduces Paul to the "Jack Frost" sketch. PLUS: Serge Gainsbourg! In praise of Jill Clayburgh! The return of Crazy Guggenheim! "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions"! And the (arguably) funniest half-hour in sitcom history! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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We're sending to the match. Hello, genius listeners. Yako Wanda here. visit connexontario.ca Hello genius listeners! Yakko Warnah here. You are listening to Gilbert Godfrey's amazing colossal podcast. It's the only thing we listen to in the water tower. Thank you! Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried and this is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre. Our guest this week is the author of the New York Times bestselling memoirs, Kick Me and Super Stud or How I Became a 24 Year Old Virgin. In his spare time when he's not writing hilariously funny books. He's an actor, producer, screenwriter, Emmy-nominated television

writer and director, and one of the industry's busiest filmmakers whose pictures have grossed over a billion dollars worldwide. As an actor, you've seen him in feature films like Bad Teacher Knocked Up, Heavyweights, and Walk Hard the Dewey Cop Story, and in TV shows such as New Heart Get Alive, It's Gary Shanling's Show, and Sabrina the Teenage Witch. He's also the creator of the admired and much beloved high school comedy Freaks and Geeks, named one of the best television shows of all time by TV Guide and Time Magazine. But his work in the director's chair that's brought him the most acclaim, helming episodes of TV shows like

The Office, Mad Men, Nurse Jackie, and Arrested Development, as well as the feature films Spy, The Heat, Ghostbusters and one of the most popular and profitable comedies of all time, Bridesmaids. His new comedy thriller, A Simple Favor, opens September in September 14 and stars Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick. Both Frank and I saw it last night and it's terrific. Please welcome to the podcast an artist of many talents and a man who says he was almost killed by a mechanical shark at the Universal Theme Park's Jaws attraction. The best dressed man in show business, Paul Feig.

Oh my. Gilbert's. Wow. I can't follow that intro. Yeah. Okay, well it's pretty much yeah thank you go first I have to say Gilbert what an enormous enormous fan I've been of yours forever I just think you're so great so funny so it's a real

true honor to be here on your show oh thank Yes, and you could tell by all of the Paul Feig films I'm too intimidated by you to work with you. We'll have to solve that So we saw a Simple favor. Yes. Thank you for coming. And yeah, and it's just, it is great. It's a million twists and turns. I was just talking to Paul out in the hallway and I was saying, you're talking about the twists and turns in the movie.

And I was saying, my wife and I pride ourselves on figuring these things out. And you were 20 steps ahead. Oh good, correct. I mean, I had no idea where it was going. Thank you, music's my ears. Well, I mean, it's a great script. It was based on a really good book and then Jessica Sharzer, this amazing writer, did the adaptation and just killed it.

She's a schoolteacher? She was a schoolteacher in Chicago? This is the person, the woman who wrote the book? Well, yes, technically. Interesting. Yes, yes. Yes, there's a lot of mystery around. You like to genre- You like to genre-jump. I do like to genre-jump. You said you did your spy movie, you did your wedding movie, your buddy cop movie, and then you wanted to make a thriller. Yeah, I wanted to make a thriller. Yeah, I mean, I love old Hitchcock movies. That's my favorite.

That's the tone of thriller that I like. I like modern thrillers, but I think they take themselves a little too seriously sometimes. But I like making people laugh and they'll be scared and all that and having fun characters around them. Love the soundtrack, too. All that 60s pop. making people laugh and they'll be scared and all that and having fun characters around them. Love the soundtrack too. All that 60s face pop. That's interesting.

See now years ago there was the Raquel Welch TV special where she sang and danced and told jokes and did everything except of course your tits which is the reason the audience was watching. But at the same time, afterwards I guess they got enough ratings with Raquel that they had the Brigitte Bardot special. Now, the Brigitte Bardot TV special, I saw this once a thousand years ago and I still remember it and They have her and a guy dressed in

1930s gangster outfits holding machine guns and they sing in French But the only English part is Brigitte Bardot going Bunnie and clay part is Brigitte Bardot going, Bunyan Clyde. Exactly. Bunyan Clyde. And that was in the movie. Yes, that's Serge Gainsbourg. Yeah, exactly.

Classic. That video is great. I didn't, I mean, I wonder if they made that video because it's online, but it's not from a show. I wonder if they made it for that show to show on the show, because it's awesome. Yeah. Huh, interesting. Very peculiar.

Yeah, well that song, you're going to hear it in my movie. Yeah, yeah. How do you go about selecting songs for a movie like that? You just, you had an idea in your head that, because obviously, I'm not giving anything away, most of the songs are French songs. Yeah, exactly. Is it to set a tone? Is it to just, that's what you heard when you read the script? Well, it's everything.

I always try to find a sound for the movie that I'm doing. And when I was working on this and developing it with Jessica, my wife and I are just into old 60s, like European pop. And so we just had a lot of French pop playing. And just, I was starting to go like, God, this just feels like this movie. And so then I put on the thing where the thing where Blake Lively's character after Anna says she likes the music she says oh yeah thanks it reminds me I'm not stuck in the shithole so that I'm stuck in the shithole so it felt like it's it was her way to sort of feel like she's in another world and and I did think it just tonally it just felt like sets this alien world for Anna's character

because you know Blake Lively's character is so out of out of the ordinary for her You know in this sort of suburban Lululemon tights world that she lives in with the other parents And there's a Diablo League reference to in the movie and that music just I think it works. Oh, thanks It's a fun soundtrack. I'll tell you that Listening to freaks and geeks to what my want my wife and I went back and binged Freaks and Geeks which I had seen before too and the music and I know you were uncompromising, you did not want to take the music out when you had the difficulties in going to DVD.

It took four years to get that DVD out because they all wanted to just replace the music with sort of generic music and all those songs were written into the into the script like characters. That happened with Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Oh really? They had to change all of the songs. It just ruins it. I remember once I bought like the Andy Griffith show on DVD in the early days of DVD and it didn't they this theme song wasn't in it. Oh my god. They couldn't clear the theme song wasn't in it. He'd like change the theme. Oh my god. That's weird. They couldn't clear the theme song. They couldn't have that whistling? The guy that wrote it was the whistler, Earl Hagan. Oh, oh.

He was the guy doing the whistling. Well apparently Earl Hagan put the kibosh on it. Couldn't clear it, that's weird. Isn't that wild? Yeah. And it's hard to watch the Andy Griffin show, it's great, but for some reason, if it doesn't start with that,

it feels like a different show. It's a cheat when you used to buy those TV theme albums and some of them were sound-delikes. Well no, remember by the original artists? There we go, the hits of the day by the original artists, which is the name of the band. Yes, well that's like I heard they had for a while, you know, when you call up and want to make a long-distance call on a payphone they go, well what would you, what company would you like to use? And people would say, it doesn't matter, any one of them.

And they started making company names, doesn't matter, any one of them. Oh my God, that's fantastic. And then they would, the money would go to them. Oh my God. That's, see, there's always somebody that can exploit the system in some ways. So there you go. Now how did you almost get killed by the shark? I'm glad you got back to that. You're gonna leave people hanging. Because I was a tour guide at Universal Studios. Yeah, and they have the jaws.

That was like the big kind of attraction back in 81 when I was the tour guide there. And basically what it is is like, you know, the tram goes out on the dock and then the dock kind of collapses, or tips sideways, and then the shark comes and blows water all over everybody. So when it tipped, there was a woman in the front row wearing like a clog and she was kind of dangling it and it fell into the water. So then when we pulled off the bridge, she's like, I'm out of my shoes. So I was like, so let me go get, and it was just close enough where I thought I could reach it.

So I was going out on the dock, reaching out, and the dock resets back up. And it then tossed me off into the water. And then the shark was backing up to reset. And I was kind of in the gears and everything. So it almost kind of ran me over. I just kind of swam around at the last minute. But yeah, almost got taken out by the back of Jaws.

That would have been a great way to die. Because if you got to die, he got run over backwards. The only real life death from Jaws. But I would basically have been going up his ass, because his tail was coming at me. Oh, well. That's one of the stories in Paul's book, in the second book, Super Stud, which is very, very funny.

Thank you. I was discussing outside. I just wanted to, as long as we're mentioning it, I just want to mention this paragraph too. At one point I moved into a boarding house, Gilbert would like this, I moved into a boarding house in a scary part of Hollywood that I shared with my landlady, a huge Mexican man and a 70-year-old dwarf. I was supposed to walk to church every Sunday.

It was quite a time. I wasn't in there very long. It was weird because also it's like one of those boarding houses where you don't have it at TV or anything so you're just in your room but I didn't want to go down and interact with anybody because I was afraid so I would just sit in my room like a crazy person. And then showbiz came calling. It's a brave book. Thank you. And then Showbiz came calling. It's a brave book.

Thank you. And very funny. And you hold nothing back. Well, there's the one chapter that's really horrifying in there. We'll get to it. Yeah, exactly. But I wrote that when I was on vacation, weirdly, once. And I thought it was really fun, and I sent it into my publisher, Just Take a Look At, and then my wife read it, and she's like, no way, no way, throw that out, you can't possibly

use that story. So I called the publisher, I said, you know what, actually I can't put that out and they said, oh we already sent it out to all the bookstores. So it's like a preview of my book that went all over the country. So there you go. And before we get too far away from freaks and geese, can you name the cast of all of them? I mean, because everyone went on to be big. Yeah, I mean, Linda Cardellini, Seth Rogen, Jason Segel, James Franco, Martin Starr, Busy Phillips,

Sam Levine, and then even guest stars like Shia LaBeouf and it was just went on and on the amazing time. John Francis Daly was now a big screenwriter. I don't mention him because he's competition now. He's Mr. Big Shot director now. Right. I liked Game Night. They are great. He is such a... Nice job with that. He was the youngest kid by far. We did it. He was only 13 and all the other kids were 16 to early 20s. So he was the one I never kind of got to know because he was just too young and he was also

very quiet. He would just kind of hang with his dad. But you could tell there was some kind of really great talent there because he was really interested in stuff. Because when you watch that, you're constantly going, oh, there's that guy. Yeah, yeah. Well, he's, I mean, he and Linda Cardellini are the two that we just see the whole world through their eyes. But he was such a discoverer. We found him in New York, and he was like the last person I think we cast because we just couldn't find the right kid for it. And

when we found him, at first it was like, is he too young? But then that's what I loved about it is like, you know, some kids in high school are, they seem way too young and other kids seem way too old. So he was, he was a good surrogate for that. It's a well-cast show. I mean, down to the smallest roles too. We don't want to forget Dave Gruber, Alan. Oh my God. The Higgins boys and Gruber. Yes.

For anybody that remembers him. Exactly, Steve Bannas. I don't know the whole thing. Steve Bannas, Tom Wilson, Ben Foster's great. Yeah. And all hail Joe Flaherty. Oh great, and all hail Joe Flaherty. Oh my god, yeah, Joe Flaherty and Becky Ann Baker, the amazing Becky Ann Baker. Yeah, I mean the whole cast. Yeah, yeah, it's just a testament to if you just open the doors wide and basically say we just want the most talented cast, we're not going to cast this just based on how they

look or if they're models or all that,, you know clearly They're a great-looking cast anyway, but you know it would just it just shows kind of how you know if you cast for talent They have such a deep bench of talent that they're gonna go on to other things didn't Franco walk in the room looking exactly Like yeah character that Daniel was the actor Oh, you see exactly like the guy I knew right back in the neighborhood And I so I was so happy because I thought I always thought that guy was kind of goofy looking. And I thought, oh, Franco is goofy looking as that guy. And then so I thought I was getting a goofy looking guy. And then suddenly the network and everybody went crazy like because he's the most handsome man in the world.

And then I was almost like mad. I was like, oh, shoot. I hired somebody really handsome. So what are you going to do? And you were a Christian scientist. I was brought up as a Christian scientist, yes. My parents were, yeah. And then you lived with a family of Jews. How does this work?

Well, no, my family, my father's side of the family is Jewish. Yes. Goldenbergs, yeah. But back in the 20s, apparently, when Christian science was invented, basically, there was a lot of disaffected Jews who went over to the Christian science church for some reason. And my grandmother had gone through, I guess my grandfather went through something where he had to be put in an asylum. I don't even know what it was.

Something happened. And her thing was that apparently nobody at the temple supported her. And she was so upset that everybody kind of shunned her almost that she turned to Christian science. And so, the weird thing, I have this, the most like central casting version of a Jewish grandmother but she's talking about Christian science and Jesus and all that. So yeah, it was a very confusing upbringing. And she used to sit in a house dress with no underwear. So it was like the, it was the worst version of basic instinct you've ever seen in your life. He gets so excited when we have Jewish guests.

I don't know what that is about. Out of 230 shows. We found out that Billy Mummy was a Jew. Really? Yeah. Who knew? Yeah. Interesting.

Wow, I had no idea. Deep research. The thing about Freaks and Geeks, you know, and you watch it now and it's fascinating because it's a strange animal for network television, for prime time network television, especially at that time when we weren't living in the sophisticated Netflix, Amazon era and there were four channels. Well, that's why we didn't survive. We were just, it was just the wrong time for us to be on because game shows were just going through the roof I mean that was remember the millionaires on almost seven nights a week

I'm not getting everything else out just like a juggernaut and we just couldn't compete in our show for you know compared to that Was it was expensive, but we were bottom rated. I mean most of the time timing though Yeah, that show today in a different. with all of these outlets that are welcoming to that kind of television. Yeah, no, it's true. But almost now there's so much good TV that I can't watch it all. I almost feel like we might have gotten lost in the mix if we had kind of done it now. So I'm glad we did it when we did.

I'm glad what we have, you know, we have 18 episodes and I think that's fine. I think we told all the stories we wanted to tell. It owes almost more to movies like Welcome to the Dollhouse and Gilbert mentioned Ridgemont High than it does to television. It's not sentimentalized like the Wonder Years, it's not broad like 90210. It's really, it's almost like a docu, a funny docu-drama. Totally. I mean, honestly, Welcome to the Dollhouse was sort of why the network was was wanting to get a show like that, because that had just come out and everybody was pretty enamored in town with it. And that was apparently the word at NBC, was they wanted something

like that. So when MyScript came in, it just came in at just the exact right time. So they were just like, we love it, just shoot it, don't even rewrite it, let's just do it. But then we ended up rewriting it anyway. And it's one of those shows that really captures school, because you wind up cringing so many times. Yeah, no, no, totally. I mean, part of what I wanted it to be is almost like something that a parent could hand to a kid before they go into high school, because, you know, we all went in completely not knowing what we were in for. And just to go like, look, terrible things are going to happen to you, but just know everyone's been through it and you will survive the other side.

So now parents will still tell me that they watch it with their kids before the kids go to high school. So it's nice. I feel like that's my public service I get to do. It's a doll, it's a doll. Sam Weir. You really like Bill Murray, don't you? Yeah, he's great. Bill Murray sucks, man. No, he doesn't. He's cool.

Oh, really? What is he? Your boyfriend? Sam Queer? It's fighting time, Weir. Leave me alone, Al. I'm sorry, I don't speak geek. I always wanted to know what it'd be like to fight a girl. I'm a girl. When I'm a girl, I'm a girl. I'm tired of weird. Leave me alone, Alan. I'm sorry, I don't speak geek.

I always wanted to know what it'd be like to fight a girl. I'm a girl. Wanna see what it'd be like to fight me? Uh, weird sister has to protect him. I'm not protecting him. I'm just trying to figure out why it is you need to pick fights with guys who weigh less than a hundred pounds. Watch out, Alan. I think she's high on pot

Yeah, I might just go psycho Want to try me You're dead all right as soon as your freak sister isn't around I'm gonna cream you man You know you really didn't need to do that. I could have handled it. Yeah, I know. And by the way, I weigh 103 pounds. Sorry. Man, I hate high school. Foul. Bless your heart, there's a Wacky Pax mentioned in episode two.

Oh yes. And there's an Al Jaffe's Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions reference. Oh wow. In episode three. We had Al Jaffe here. Oh you're kidding. On the show, he's 97. Oh my god.

Is he still snappy? Yeah, he's still snappy. Oh my fashion. He's still in good shape. Fascinating guy. Boy, I mean Mad Magazine, forget it. That was, I think, that was all of our training, right? Yes.

For comedy. I just could not, I could not get enough. Every week it would come out and it was so exciting to fold the back cover. You share a lot of our passions. Yeah, well that's why we all ended up in this blues band. And you were a Big Mocks Brothers fan? Yes. Huge.

Huge. That's why I wear suits to this day. It was all inspired by Groucho, basically. Oh, yeah? Yeah, because when I was a kid, I was so into Groucho and somebody gave me a biography on him and one of the things in there said Groucho never trusted a man who didn't dress up. And so I was just like, well, I must impress Groucho. That's interesting.

He was still alive at the time. I was like, maybe I'll run into him. So yeah, I started dressing and just got into it and never kind of stopped. So yeah, oh, but I mean he was such an influence on me I was actually writing back when I was like 13 I tried to write a Broadway show called an evening at the club that would sandwich in between day of the races and night of The opera so maybe one day I'll finish that are you a so we're we're Paramount purists more than the MGM films Yeah, I'm with you. I think when they were anarchists before they got tamed. Well who was the guy that came on and kind of ruined it? Yeah, yeah, no I'm with you. There's too much plot in those lighter ones. I mean Duck Soup's so great because it's just total anarchism. That's the ultimate Duck Soup.

Is that the one, which one ends where they all marry the same woman? They all marry Thelma Todd at the end of Horse Feathers. Yeah, that's it. And it's over. And they jump on her and it's over. Can you imagine ending a movie like that today? Like, I have a hard time watching Night at the Opera, because that to me is the beginning of the end. Yeah, I mean there's enough good things in it.

Day of the Races to me is the one where I get really sad, because it just feels like there's no energy there. Oh energy there. Other than the bit with the bookie, you know, when he's selling them all the books, Chico's selling them all the books. That's the beginning of the end. You can sort of see the writing on the wall. Well, like you can watch Room Service. That's so depressing. It's 30s, 1937. They've been doing this now at this point, what, 20 years? Yeah. Including Vaudeville.

Wasn't that the story they were all in some crazy cage or some weird you know over-the-top set up and they just looked each other when I think this is it let's just let's just stop now it's as we as we pointed on the show if not for Chico's gambling debts they wouldn't have I think they wouldn't have kept coming back. Yeah that's true. I think they were. Because Chico needed some money. Oh, this is my favorite thing here. We didn't want to do as the psychics, but Chico needed it because Chico was a gambler. And he needed some money. Now back then gambling was something you put money down and if you won, you'd receive money.

Or else you'd lose and you'd lose your money. But Chico would lose. And Chico needed some money. You're just making me hope that the canter shows up before the show is over. If I have one request before this is over. We mentioned before the mics were on too that since you're such a fan of his stand up, you both started at the same ripe old age. Of 15. Of 15. Of 15.

There you go. Doing stand up. Which I found fascinating. Grizzled veterans. Grizzled veterans. But you had to have your... I got out though, exactly. You got out.

Yeah. Yeah, I had to have my parents take me to the club. It was a place called the Delta Lady. And it was a biker bar on like 8 Mile and Woodward, I think, which Detroit was a pretty rough part of the town at that time. Yeah, but I go down with my parents and they're all dressed up and everything and it was pretty dicey. But I thought I did great the first time.

I actually have a recording of it. I've never transferred it, but I do have it on a cassette tape. And clearly everybody was laughing at me. But I was doing ridiculous jokes just kind of stolen from Johnny Carson and all that Like I have all these like New Jersey punch lines, but I'm in Detroit If I can rewrite my act that should have the Zugg Island is like the greatest punch line in Detroit It's this this industrial iron island you drive over it is just awful So but for some reason I went to New Jersey because Johnny Carswell. Now you did Thurston Howell. Yes that was my big closer to Gilbert.

Gilbert you researched. Gino's in the next booth enjoying himself. The great Gino Salomon. Gino knows way too much about my life. Howl, a blues song? Yeah, the Thurston Howl blues. Can we hear this place? Oh gosh, I haven't done it in so long. I used to have a harmonica so we'd go da-na-na-na-na. Oh, how do the lyrics go? It would just go, I'm a howl.

What was, oh shit. Geno, I can't remember how it goes. Geno's gonna come in and help Paul with the thirst and halogen. I remember one of the punch lines was the professor...oh, I actually remember that. Gilligan is so crazy and he's such a stoop and when you punch the skipper in the stomach... Okay, yeah. When you punch the skipper in the stomach, the skipper goes, doooom! That's what he used to do. That was...

Yeah. He's like, uh, and that professor, well he's actually quite daft. He can build a bamboo lie detector, but he can't build a goddamn raft. There you go. That's a good bacchus. Thank you so much. I'm a little out of practice. And you gave this up? Yeah, hard to believe. I was very cutting edge because I was doing in the early 80s, I was the first person to make jokes about the 70s. And I remember all the other comics were coming up going like, wow, that's so innovative because they were all making jokes about the 60s. So far I had a moment where I was an innovator. Did you also do an impersonation of a woodshop teacher? Yes. Do I have this right? Yes, Willard Schmidt. Yes. He was one of my hot

characters. He would just tell terrible, he would just tell horror stories from from woodshop that always ended with somebody who's goofing around, they continued to goof around, he said to stop goofing around and they got their arm cut off. And it was just that and then I'd say some really stupid joke and then I'd tell another horror story and it was another showstopper. But you were encouraged enough to continue at it. Yeah, I mean honestly it did well. There's a thing out there called the Paramount Comedy Theater.

It was the first break I ever got as a standup. It was a home video series of stand-ups. So Howie Mandel hosted it and everybody like hot at the time, Marsha Warfield and all these people were on it. And I was the newcomer that they put on it. And it went over huge. I actually got signed by Howie's manager after it because it went over so well. I'd love to see this. Yeah, it's floating around out there somewhere. and I have a crew cut and I'm wearing like a Willy Ware suit which is like a suit from the early,

mid 80s that were baggy. Willy Smith. Yeah, was that it? Baggy and you roll up. Yeah, Willy Ware. Yeah, totally. You're one of the only people I know that remembers Willy Ware.

Yeah, the late Willy Smith. Yeah, totally. And you would roll up the sleeves and I would have wore like a bolo tie and stuff and yeah, kind of minced around doing bits. Doing bits. Gilbert, we've covered this on the show but what was you have any recollection of your first appearance? Yeah I went with my two

older sisters because my sister Aline someone told her there was a club in Manhattan you signed your name in the book and when they got to your name they said hi, you know, they go okay this is they look at it a comedian Gilbert Gottfried and basically I was like you know my act was basically impressions pretty much like Frank Gawson or Rich Little I you know if Humphrey Bogart was your waiter How'd it go over did you do well

I think I did well, and then kept doing it and then after a while I got tired of the impressions and started screwing around on stage But he always said well I was a magician too. I mean that was my you know when I was a From anywhere from like eight or whatever to my teens That's what I did because that was you know you bought you can buy an act basically you buy the trick So you have an act and they give you patterns you can do their follow or not and I actually ended up winning the high school talent show in my freshman year with my magic act because You can buy an act, basically. You buy the trick, so you have an act, and they give you patterns, you can do their follow or not. And I actually ended up winning the high school talent show in my freshman year with my magic

act because my dad, I was doing it for my dad, and he said, oh my goodness, you've got to get better patter. You have to tell jokes. And so he was a joke collector, and he went to this book he had that he used to write down books when he'd go to the old nightclclubs and he gave me all these old nightclub jokes that were all kind of off color but but but in a sort of a dad way so you could do them and and I killed it I won the talent show so I didn't credit him for that. I'm getting a memory of the Munchagers episode. The Munchagers reference in the book. Where Herman becomes a magician.

Oh yes, I remember. And he has a big box and Lily is on stage with him and he says, now I'm going to make my wife disappear. This is a favorite trick of all the husbands in the audience. And she was mad at him, right? And so she ran out the back and then he thought, I remember that episode. And he tore the box apart. Did you use magic to avoid being bullied on occasion?

What a misguided way to avoid it. Magic is pretty much a bait for a bully. I read if a bully was giving you a hard time, you would pull out your Dan Aykroyd does Jimmy Carter impression. Oh yeah, that. Oh yeah. Boy I would have kicked your ass. Yeah, I know totally.

Exactly. I remember trying to get an agent in Detroit. I went to a local Detroit talent agent in audition and I did like my impressions and I remember she was just like, get out. My name is Jim Acotta. It was terrible then. It was terrible now. I was doing a bad impression of Dan Aykroyd's just okay impression of Jimmy Carter.

That's hilarious. Detroit royalty, yes. Yeah. This is what, something else I wanted to ask you about too. Let's see, let's see, let's see, let's see. I want to ask you about your passion for Bond films and you made one. Yeah. You made Spy. Yes. Because you love spy movies. Yes and I knew no one would ever let me direct a Bond movie. You love... We've talked about them a lot on this show. You like Bond movies?

Yeah. They're the greatest. We even like George Lazenby. I know, I like that one. I saw that in the theater. I tried to get him to do this show. Oh my God, really? Well, he's funny.

Did you see that documentary about being Bond or whatever? I did. He's very funny in there. He is fascinating. He knows he blew it. Yeah. But no, I mean, I got taken to see that one. I remember that one, I was so traumatized by that one

because that's the one where they're skiing and that guy skis into the, like a snow blower. The Diana Rigg, right? Yeah, and he goes, I always knew he had a lot of guts. And I was just like, I was so put off by that because I just imagined the guy going into the, getting ground down. And is that Telly Savalas?

Telly Savalas was Blofeld. Oh, God, that's right. Was he Blofeld? I think he was. Yeah. One of the revolving ringers. I don't mind Lazenby, I, God, that's right. Was he Blofeld? I think he was. Yeah. One of the revolving ringers. I don't mind Lazenby.

I don't think he's bad. He was much maligned. No, and the funny thing about it is that it turns out that he didn't fail as Bond, and they wanted him back for more. Yeah, and he turned it down. Yeah. He was full of himself. Which was real stupid.

Yeah, but as I said in that interview, he definitely realizes what a dummy he was. So you didn't think anybody was going to give you a shot. I know you're a Casino Royale fan too. You like the Daniel Craig. It's great. It's great. Great chase scenes in movie history. Totally. Oh my god. But I will be controversial and say I think to me Craig is the ultimate bond. I do too. Because I love the books and he reflects the books even more than Connery does. Because the books, he's a very dark character.

I know it's sacrilege to say that. I know, I agree with you. Take a lot of heat for that. Yeah. Also the films, the Craig films have the advantage of being the most sophisticated Bond films too. Because when you look at the Connery films, they're quaint. Don't you find? And the Connery films, it's so weird to watch now because you go, well, when's something

going to happen? Oh yeah, they're so slow. But I remember even as a kid, that was my only beef kind of against Bond films, is they felt like they were so long because they had this pace that was very deliberate. But they're still great. I just love that world and it's fun. That's why I wrote Spy because it's just like, okay, I'll do it the way I know how, which is to have a really funny woman play the spy. With an interesting premise, it's almost like Moneypenny becomes...

Yeah, yeah. Has to play the role of an agent. Yeah. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing Colossal Podcast right after this. That's what you say. A special message from your family jewels brought to you by Old Spice Total Body. Hey, it stinks down here. Why do armpits get all of the attention? You're down here all day with no odor protection. Wait, what's that?

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I wrote these down Paul's passions. You'll like this one, Gil. SNL. Yes. You were a Big Eddie Murphy fan on that show. Me? Yeah, I loved, I loved, well, I was a Big Gilbert fan on the show. You were.

I was just going to ask that. Yes. Do you remember Gilbert's years? Of course I remember. From that show, you were a fan of mine? Yes. That amazes me, because I thought I sucked a high fucking heaven. No, but I started looking you up

and all your other stuff because of it. Oh, okay. I just thought you were so, but I thought you were funny on there too. Really? What do you remember me doing on Saturday Night Live? I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, Wasn't the one thing where they lined you guys all up and somebody was being a drill sergeant and they made you each be funny Was that you because we wait were you on when Julie we dry fist was on I know she came later. Okay, okay You're confusing him with Tony Rosado

Actually, I have a friend of mine gave me as a gift I have Tony Rosado's Jacket his wrap gift jacket from starting SCTV so. Poor Tony. Yeah he went nuts. Yeah yeah yeah that's sad. He thought his family was trying to kill him or something. He was on with Denny Dillon. Right. Gail Mathias. Yeah and Risley. Piscopo of course. You were not. Charlie Rocket. Yeah Charles Charles Rocket, yeah. Right. Talk about another nice ending. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, I know.

Because you were on there when he got thrown off the show, right? I remember all that. I mean, I've just watched it religiously ever since, you know. And then Steve Higgins is one of my best friends in the world, and he's been over there for you know, 20 plus years working behind the scenes and making it all happen. So but no, that was my dream in life, was to be a cast member on SNL. And when I signed up, when I got discovered

from that Paramount Comedy Theater by Howie's manager, the manager, he said, what do you want to do? I said, I want to be on Saturday Night Live. He said, don't worry, I'm friends with Lorne, I can make that happen. Really? Yeah, exactly, all right. Didn't happen. Out of 230-something guests, I don't think anyone has remembered you from Saturday Night Live.

Let alone praised you. Yes! No, I... Just because you're... I never heard a delivery in sort of a style like you had. So it was just... it was fun. It was kind of like, immediately going like who is that I did I'm always just fascinated by anybody who's different you know and brings a different take on

you seen him live yes yeah oh yeah so fun so you're the perfect audience for the Norman fell jokes and the Joyce DeWitt references and obscure references to... Well, see, we're all the same age, so that's why it all kind of comes together. And that helps too. But then it gets sadder though, as references that used to kill start to fall on deaf ears. Oh yeah. I mean, if it's... I'll reference Johnny Carson and people are like, who's that? And you're like, aw. Yeah, and the funny thing is, like, Burt Reynolds died recently. People don't remember Burt Reynolds. That's scary.

No, all the guys from Boogie Nights are like, okay. That's depressing. I mean, who was cooler? I mean, remember what a giant star he was. It was unbelievable. Absolutely. How huge. Yeah.

Absolutely. Hooper. Hooper was my favorite. Oh yeah, I love Hooper. I'll need him. Years ago, I mentioned Jackie Gleeson to someone and the whole room didn't know and one person said, oh the guy from Smokey and the Bandit. Oh yeah. Well that's like when everybody you know for a while or

before, wow everybody thought Orson Welles was the guy from the wine commercial. Yeah. Or frozen peas. Forget it, No one knows who Groucho Marx is. That's gone. We went out to lunch with Gino and a young lady a couple of months ago. I wanted to mention Gino. He likes to purposely not mention Gino on the show and steal his anecdotes. But she didn't know who Groucho was. She'd never heard of him.

Oh my God. How old was she? In her 20s, to be fair. Whatever was she? Oh in her 20s. Okay. To be to be fair. Whatever. But that is depressing when that happens. Yeah. Oh I was gonna make a reference and now I can't remember the name of the guy but on the Jackie Gleason show what was the? Bart Carney? No the... Heya Joe. Oh Frank Fontaine. Yeah Frank Fontaine. That's it yeah exactly. How about a song? Thank you sir. Thank you. Thank you Mr. Salomon. Thank you, Gino.

Somebody's classing up the operation. I went out with the fuckwad. When alcoholism was still funny. Yes, yes. See? Being a drunk for years was the funniest thing in the world. Oh my God, totally. Foster Brooks? Forget about it. My favorite is every time Krazy Guggenheim would do his punch line, Jack Goose would go like,

D'aww! Like, hit the bar and move away. And Frank Fontaine had the same thing that Jim Neighbors had. They do a goofy character and sing perfectly passable. You're right. But it sounds so good because how about a song craze? And everybody be misty eyed. So it's like people would think, oh my god, they're brilliant singers. And it's like if they didn't do the

wacky voice first, you'd go, boy they really are so so. Not so good. my dad was always obsessed with Jim neighbors but he always said like oh he does that that crazy squeaky voice he always referred to him as having the squeaky voice and then then he's just such a beautiful singer yeah so they say it works yeah I don't think opera experts you know you don't know any better when you're a kid no just come you know he's Gomer Pyle and then he starts singing off a Maria No, we're good. When I was a kid, you don't know any better when you're a kid. No. You know, he's Gomer Pyle and then he starts singing off a Maria and you go, that sounds

pretty good. But they always have to put on a serious face though. It always disturbed me as a kid though. Like when the funny person became serious, it was like, it was so upsetting to me because like they weren't real or they weren't funny anymore. So, so never, never start singing. Yes. Gilbert, don't start singing. Gilbert don't think it would be

great though one day you just came out with this beautiful operatic voice you know what I've long set up he has sung on this show with Howard Cailin from the turtles no who else Paul Williams Jim Jimmy Webb he sang nice Jimmy web he sang the rainbow connection with Paul Williams right we do duets oh nice yeah and someone from from Sony called us up and said we actually thought about doing a Gilbert duets album We thought they were putting us on we'll be like Jerry sings They may have been putting us on we figure it out I know you can canter so I'm gonna make you I want to hear you do that. Who else? Tie yellow ribbon you did with Tony Orlando. Yeah you did a sugar sugary did with Ron

Dante from the Archies. Yeah. I wish I had a song that we could sing together. We do have an album. Yeah there it is. Can I knock this out Paul can I ask you a couple of questions from from listeners? Yes please. We do this thing called grill the Guest on Patreon, which you guys can do if you go to Gilbert Gottfried slash Patreon. Actually, it's the other way around. It's Patreon slash Gilbert Gottfried. Marshall Armenter wants to know, please ask Paul what it was like working with the late, great Jill Kleberg and Bridesmaids.

So great. Sadly, her final film. Yeah. She was so amazing. And you know, because that was, I've done a few projects where I had to cast older actresses and they come in and the plastic surgery. Oh God. It makes it, you can't hire some people. And it's really sad because like people that you love from your past and it's just like,

oh, like, unless I make that a bit in the movie. And Jill just was so natural and just looked beautiful, but she hadn't done anything whatsoever and she was just lovely and it was just, I had such a crush on her. When she was in Silver Streak, that was the, I had such a Jill Clayberg crush. I actually dated a girl just because she kind of looked like Jill Clayberg. Did you tell her that? No, no, and she didn't like me anyway. Oh really? Yeah, I kind of, yeah. She was a little older than me. I see. And I think I thought I was dating her and I think she thought I was a really fun little tag along buddy. I once

dated a girl who looked like Gene Wilder. She was a great actress and she could, like you said, she could do comedy. Oh my God. Like, Silver Street, she hosted SNL. Yeah. Back in the day. Yeah, I remember that. But also an unmarried woman breaks your heart. Yeah.

I mean, it was so sad because we had such a good time doing it and then before the movie came out she passed away. Yeah. It was really sad. I saw her doing something kind of raunchy in a bridesmaids outtake. I guess it's in the unrated version. Oh yeah, that's right. Oh yeah, we had a bunch of-

Really funny. Yeah. Oh, she was great. She was up for it. Yeah, loved her. Let me throw a couple of quick ones out here. Jason Grissom, to me Paul will always be Stanley in Ski Patrol. I mean that as a compliment.

Me too, exactly. Does he have memories of working with the great Martin Maul or the great Ray Walston? Yeah, well Martin Maul I worked with a few times because he was in Ski Patrol but then I was on the Jackie Thomas show. Yes you were. Yes and then Martin was on that and Martin's a lovely guy. He's you know but he he always would say I'm just I just act so I can have the money to paint, because that's all I wanted to do. Yeah, I know. I've seen his paintings. But it was great. And then Ray Walson was wonderful. Yeah, that was just exciting because

I'd never done a movie before and suddenly I'm there with my favorite Marsha. So I was very impressed with myself on that. Have you seen Martin Moll's paintings? Tom Leopold bought a couple of them. Oh, yeah. He's very accomplished. I have. Yeah. Oh, and this is something I know about.

You notice we don't go in any order here, Paul. I like it. It's sort of like an interrogation. This is how my brain works anyway, so I'm fine. You bought two paintings. Oh yes. Oh good, I'm glad you got that in. I was going to forget that. Speaking of famous people that nobody remembers, yes, Bob Hope. I have two. Gino told us to ask that. Yes, I have them. I have two Bob Hope paintings. One from 1945

that sat next to his desk in his office his entire life. And it's a great painting. It's like the young kind of, you know, on the road to Bob Hope. And then finally Geno alerted me to it that there is another painting that Phyllis Diller had in her house. She had like a Bob Hope room, and it was an older, eviler looking Bob Hope. Oh, jeez. Yeah, and so I have that. It's in our conference room in my offices. But here's the thing, we had some of our paintings appraised, because I collect a lot of art,

and the early one from 1945 was appraised pretty well. It actually was going to hold a nice value. They went and looked at the one, Phyllis Dillers, he said it's worth nothing. He literally said it has no value. Geez! Isn't that crazy? How weird. Wow!

Yeah, because they had no listed artist on it and the subject matter is somebody that people don't, you know, are forgetting. And I was just like, there's no way it cannot be worth anything. He said, no, it's literally worth nothing. And did the old Bob Hope have those ruby red eyes? He was it's a very jaunty Yeah, oh, yeah, it's very very yeah He was God only knows what he was doing and you've seen the Jack Frost Geno share that with you the Jack Frost no. Oh God, you're in for a treat.

Oh, is this of his wife singing? Oh, you told me about that. He's covered in icicles. And he looks like a hostage. Yeah, he's got a glued on beard. It's a hostage video. It's exactly what it is. An appointed hat.

And he looks like he died 12 years earlier. Oh, it seems like Dolores is your revenge for all the fucking around Put these eyes on Bob It was a dead Weinberger or somebody who could who told us that he would leave women he would threaten to leave women behind on the USO tours Yeah, he take them out to Vietnam and if they I heard if they didn't fuck him he would leave them in Vietnam. I'm trying to wrap my mind around Phyllis Stiller having a Bob Hope room. Oh yeah. Think about it, she owes him. Gilbert has a Larry Hovis room. Yes. Let's see I got one last one here

John Atama thanks thanks so much Paul for your role in the Peanuts movie. It was touching and nostalgic and it brought tears to three generations of my family's eyes. Isn't that nice? I know you were very concerned with taking care of the Schultz legacy because you are a Peanuts fanatic. Yeah, Peanuts fanatic, absolutely fanatic. It was fun because you get to work with the family and then, you know,

I would fly up to Santa Rosa almost every week to work with them as they were writing it because his son and his grandson wrote the movie. Yeah, it was, you know, they're, they're very, very guarded and cautious about the use of- Of course, as they should be. Yeah, exactly. But, but I mean, I know this comic strip so well. Me too. So I was always able to reference, you know, like, oh, we can actually do this from this, but no, it's a lovely little film. Yeah.

Thanks, thank you. Yeah, isn't that nice? And Gilbert. Yes. I'm gonna ask Paul something from the book. Snow. And I know you wanted to ask him about what you and I discussed.

Oh, yes. I like how top secret this is. You okay with this? I can talk about whatever you want. This, I think. I have a feeling I know what's coming. Let's just's coming. This is the only reason I wanted you on the This is all a setup this is all a set up your career This is like when TMC comes up TMZ comes up down to the street

They ask all these really softball questions and I go like, there's one coming, they're going to try to get something out of me. Oh yeah, absolutely. And then there's the last one. We try not to do a gotcha show, but it's too good. Fuck you directing him, right? I don't care about that.

Old gotcha, gotcha Godfrey it over here. Alright, go ahead. Okay, Gil, do you want to ask him? Okay. Is it true, this is like live at the actor's studio, that you try to suck your own cock? It is true because it's in the book. It's in the book. It's in writing and why would I possibly make that up?

Well I thought you just wanted to impress your fans. If I could have done it I would have made that up. So what made you decide one day to suck your own cock? To try to. Be a lonely guy, you know, having trouble dating, having trouble kind of talking to gals and thought, well, of course, why, this could possibly happen. And I've been told stories, by my cousin would tell me stories about, he had heard about some guy whose wife helped him do it by every day She would like lean on his back as he tried and they eventually kind of curved his spine so that he could do that

Allegedly Ron Jeremy allegedly. Yes. That's the hedgehog. Well, probably so gigantic. Yeah, that's the legend Yeah, but no, I did not work. It didn't work though. I mean, that's the thing I was broke my neck doing it guys could suck their own cocks women would just die out. That's a speech. There is not a man listening to this show within the sound of our voice that has not had that thought. Thank you. See? I fall on the sword. I fall on the sword so that others may feel good about themselves.

You do not have to be Norma Rae here. We don't make any judgments, but it's one of the funniest things I've ever read in my life. Well that was the chapter that my wife said, please don't. Yes, it's called, Please Do Not Read This Chapter. Titled by my wife. Yeah. And it opens with about 14 disclaimers. And it's so brilliantly done. And you got a phone call in the middle of it?

My mother called, yeah. My mother called. Yeah, exactly. Wow. After I had popped my neck, too. Oh, that's horrible. Because I thought I had come up with a great plan, which was to use the weight of my own body to sort of bring myself down closer.

But that meant I had to be, you know, my head, with my head tucked under my chin, or against my chest, and then someone popped and like, and my, and my neck froze up. And then my mother called. When you're sucking your own dick. Trying. To bathe in the embalming cold. Yes, exactly. He didn't succeed.

He did, trying. Yeah, yeah, that's, that's dramatic. But I was scared straight. I never did it again. Gilbert's acting like he never tried. He's all high and mighty. I know, Mr. Fancy Pants. There's so many funny things in the book.

Gino said, you've got to get Paul's book Super Stud, and I did. And I laughed from, I love this review from Rolling Stone, chronic masturbation hasn't been this funny since Portnoy's complaint. That's a quote you want on the front of your book. I mean it's so funny and it's so well written and it's so honest. Well I remember when I was writing the book, for some reason I'd always had moments of thinking like maybe I could go into politics, it'd be kind of fun. And I remember writing this and going like,

if I put this book out, I can never go into politics. You're done. That would all you'd be hearing on the campaign trail, literally. With the dick sucking part, you would have gotten my phone. See? I have to own it. But it's also filled with sensitive stories of a very sensitive young man trying desperately to connect to women.

Yeah, exactly. It's not just all... Yeah. Well, I never wanted to put anybody off, any women off, you know, and so I was such a polite trying to get dates guy that it just seemed like I should just give it up. The CIC technique. Winning women over with comedy, innocence, and chivalry. Ah, yes. See? Yeah. Well, it finally worked because I've been married for 24 years now, so I found the right one. Perfect. Yes, but yeah, it did take a while.

And you know, the the REO Speedwagon story is hilarious. Oh god. And yet heartbreaking. Yeah, yeah, all true. All true. I mean, it's honestly, I remember when that, who was it, James Fry or whatever got in trouble for it? Oh, A Million Little Pieces. Yeah, faking it. I was quite offended by that too because I think the only power of memoir, the true power

is if it's a true story. Because I can make up funnier stories than that happened to me in the book, but the fact that they really happen. So I'm always really, really conscious about making sure that I tell it exactly like it happened. Unfortunately, I've just had too many terrible weird things happen to me. Embarrassing things, at least. Here's another way in which you're brutally honest, and again, men who are listening to this show, and I'm looking at you, Salomon, that your master plan to get women was to

get them to be the aggressors so you wouldn't actually have to risk rejection. Yeah. Which rang very true to me. Oh yeah, totally. No, no. You think they'll just kind of, you'll get them. I didn't see anybody put it in print before.

Well yeah, yeah. It's, you know, because also all the other guys around you when you're growing up seem to be so like well adjusted or whatever. It's easier than to ask girls out and all this. And yeah, I just, I couldn't do it. So it was like, oh, if I'm just so adorable, they'll fall in love with me and then they'll make all the moves.

You know, but it just doesn't work that way until I met my wife. And that's actually one of the reasons why our relationship started. Cause she was very, she aggressed towards me. She had seen some stuff I had done. She represented, you know Pat Hazel? He was a juggler. He was an LA based comedian, really funny, and she represented

him. And I did a trailer for a movie that we were trying to raise money for. And so I was the star of it and Pat was in it. So he and Pat showed the video to his manager at the time, who was soon to be my wife, and she fell in love, she liked me from the thing. She was married in the ending of a marriage and showed it to her ex-husband, and he said, that's the guy you should have married. And so then we ran into each other at a party, and I opened the door, she saw me,

and she jumped on me like Ernest T. Bass. Oh! What a reference. Yeah. Did that exact thing where she jumped, you know. She'd throw a rock through your window? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And I was like, who is this woman?

Wow. And that was 28 years ago. So you were just doing the slow plan. Yeah. You were just the, what do they call it? The, I guess laying slow groundwork or whatever. So you were just doing the slow plan. Yeah. You were just the, what do they call it? I guess laying slow groundwork or whatever. But yeah, I'd only had two girlfriends before that.

Yeah. I've only had sex with three women in my life. So there you go. Gilbert, what was your move back then? Oh, well, you know, I'm a big pussy hound. Yeah. It's not fair to compare yourself to me. See, I know, you're just the standard we all try to live by. Did you date in high school? Did you attempt to date in high school? No, high school, forget it.

High school, I was just starting to learn about jerking off. learn about jerking off. There's also that wonderful part where in the back, which was again you do it like, you write it like scripture, which was very clever, the chapter called Miracles, the Book of Miracles. But what really made me laugh out loud screaming at the beach was that in the middle of losing your virginity, you suddenly spot your old mousetrap game on the bookshelf. You stop and say, hey, you want to play mousetrap? Just trying to get the romance going.

Which is so brilliant. I was terrified to lose. Did that kill the mood at all? Well, I think, pardon me, I think it was hoping it would kill the mood. I was terrified to lose my virginity. It was like this thing I had, like this badge of honor that I carried around. It's such a funny book. I'm really going to recommend it to our listeners. Thank you, man.

You're going to see it shoot up in charts on Amazon. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's going to go through the roof. You're going to see it shoot up. We've sold books on this show. Yeah, excellent. Go do it, my friend. Do not mock. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this. Back to school signals a fresh start for students.

New classmates, new teachers, new lessons. Change is in the air. But one thing hasn't changed. The Ford government still isn't investing in the air. But one thing hasn't changed. The Ford government still isn't investing in public schools. Six years of cuts mean our students aren't getting the supports they need. They can't wait another year. If the Ford government won't change, it's time to change the government. Our kids are counting on us. Join us at buildingbetterschools.ca. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario.

I just want to ask something else, and this is something Gilbert and I talk about too, is cringe comedy. We talk about how hard it is, we've talked about how hard it is to do black comedy in this day and age that audiences, a movie like Where's Papa. Like Schoey Mitchell. Oh my gosh, yeah, yeah.

Not that kind of black comedy. Schoey. Schoey. Schoey. And I heard you say you like your comedy cringy. Yeah. And you like your comedy dark. Yeah.

I mean you're a fan of Python and Harold and Maude and all of these other influences. Yeah. I just like that comedy of kind of embarrassment because I think it's something we all relate to and all my best stories that I would always tell, you know, in my 20s and 30s, which are in my first book, Kick Me, most of those are there. Which I will read. Oh, no Me, most of those are there. Which I will read. Oh, no worries.

But they're all just kind of things that, at the moment they're happening, they're awful. And then once they've happened and you've got a little bit of time between them, they're funny because I always like throwing myself on the sword and go, I'm just going to tell you my most embarrassing story. Because then other people go like, oh my God, that happened to me. And you realize how much stuff people just suppress and put down but it's also why I thought Freaks and Geeks was gonna be like a big hit because I thought well who wouldn't want to kind of relive these things through

other people and I realized most people don't yeah most people most people don't like to cringe at all press that I directed the the dinner party episode of the office yes famously yeah and and that was really unpopular when it first came out. I can't believe that. People hated it because it was so cringy that people just couldn't, they got too uncomfortable. It is arguably the funniest half hour in the history of prime time comedy.

Yeah, I mean it was such an honor to be in on that because, oh my God, we just laughed the whole time. I'm gonna show Gilbert. Rolling Stone just did a big piece about it. Yeah, they voted the best episode, yeah. It's It's funny, but it's a great standalone one, too. It just sort of exists as this little weird kind of Harold Pinter play. It's, I want to ask you about the scene with the the cot at the foot of the bed. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. When in the office, which came from your actual life, came from somebody you knew.

Well, it came from something I saw. You experienced, you witnessed. Yeah, yeah. And it was, they had, yeah, exactly. It was, they kind of, they'd had a bit of it in the script, but when we, yeah, I knew, I was working for a producer and there was another woman who worked in the company and I befriended her. And we went over to her house, but it turned out to be her boyfriend's house, who was like

in city, on the city council, He was like big in government in LA. And, you know, we're walking through the nice house and there's a big giant bed and then a cot next to it. And I go, what's that? And she says, look, as a woman, I want to just tell you, you need to figure out how to sleep, you know, in a bed with a woman. Or you have to be mature enough, because it turned out this guy, they would have sex, and then he couldn't have anybody in the bed, so she'd have to roll off and sleep on a cot

next to the bed. I was like, my head was just like, that's the saddest thing I've ever heard in my life. It's so depressing. So you gave that to the writers? Yeah, so I was just like, oh my God, here we are. And it just, oh, and Steve curled up on that little cot. You know the show, Steve Carell.

Oh, yes. He's living with a woman, his ex-boss. And they're giving a tour of the house. And it turns out that she sleeps in the bed, and he sleeps on a little footrest. He's like a bench, and he curls up on it. At the foot of the bed. That whole episode, I mean, you guys made history.

Oh, it was so funny. The flat screen TV. Oh my god. But it's really dark. Yeah, oh, it's so dark. It was so fun. The flat screen TV. It's really dark. Yeah, oh it's so dark. It's who's afraid of Virginia Woolf. Yeah. Really as a as a situation. Yeah, but the thing is it's almost like horror for some people because I don't like watching a horror movie because I don't like to be scared. I don't like to not know what's gonna happen but it's really fun to like make a scary movie because you're manipulating the audience. Interesting. And I think that's for cringe comedy. It's But it's really fun to like make a scary movie because you're manipulating the audience. And I think that's for cringe

comedy. It's like it's really fun to be in charge of it but for an audience they're like oh it's like hitting them too hard or putting them off. But it's too bad because you got to laugh at yourself and all the terrible things that happen to you. Well and to that end I heard a story where you're talking about testing bridesmaids and you guys thought you had a fantastic opening and the audience what decided that John Hamm was being too mean? Well, yeah, well what it was, we did a screening like a friends and family for all our comedy writer friends and the original opening scene was it's him trying to get, you know, John trying to get Kristen Wiig out of the bed and it's her all these excuses she's kind

of coming up with. It's all these excuses she's kind of coming up with. It's hilarious about why she doesn't want to leave and like oh I'm really tired and he's like trying to get her out and so we cut it and we thought it's hilarious we put up in front of our comedy friends and it destroyed I mean it absolutely destroyed. The comedians are sick. Yeah yeah totally. Totally. And it's all we just you know we don't mind twisting the you know in changing all that stuff so So we were just celebrating, and then we did our first test screening

with like a real test audience of just people off the street, and it got dead silence. And it was because she was so pathetic that they couldn't laugh. They just felt terrible for her because she was just embarrassing herself when she was clearly getting a signal to leave. So that's when we said,

it's gotta be all about the minute he says, I really want you to leave but I don't know how to say it without sounding like a dick, she's out. And then you get the big B-side, you get a B-side laugh, which in the edit we call it, which is basically the cut to her walking out of the house, that's the punchline. It's fascinating. Because you're a funny person, you like dark comedy, you like cringe comedy, you have to please yourself, but at the same time you realize you're making commercial films for oh, yeah for a mass audience Oh, yeah, no, I mean, that's why we're so you know

I'm just slavish to to to test screenings because yeah, I can sit around and we can all say what's funny all day long But you know from stand-up if they don't laugh at a joke Here's a guy still doing some of the darkest material in the world in his stand-up act In trouble no It's gone really I've never lost work in the world in his stand-up act. Uncompromising. But I never get in trouble. No, it's gone really. I've never lost work over it, so I don't. People are always happy. They understand, it's okay.

You know, the internet doesn't go crazy. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, You're safe. Could you make movies like that nowadays if somebody brought you material? Where's Papa was a book by Robert Klein? Yeah, I remember. If somebody brought you, even something like Election, which we've talked about on this show, which is pretty damn dark. Really dark, yeah. It just depends if it's a good story and if it would be funny. I mean, the only thing I don't like is mean-spirited stuff, so that's the only thing I try to not do or kind of the end messages, everybody's

terrible and you can't win. I like victories, I like to have positive messages at the end. You couldn't do the honeymooners with him threatening to punch his wife. Right, no. No, I mean, that does not age like a fine wife. Let me see, I just want to talk about this too. You've talked about this a lot, but talk about giving, you've said to other filmmakers, please write roles for women, write funny roles for women, and you're constantly putting that

out there. Yeah, yeah. And you were talking about, you were referencing back in the day with you and your mom would sit down and watch Katharine Hepburn and Rosalind Russell and when women were strong and women were in charge and something changed over the years. Yeah, yeah I mean I think it's to me I think it just what changed is I think the blockbuster movies had a lot to do with it because that was really they were making their started making their money off a 15 year old boys so they kind of started showing

what a 15 year old boys wants to see which is either just you know Barbie doll of a woman or my mean old mom who's like the you know The woman who's keeping the guys from having fun and then comedy just became kind of a boys club, too And then just so you know so much of comedy is kind of revenge guys revenge against the girls Who wouldn't date them you know and you just started seeing it more and more, so it was kind of this, you know, I don't know. It just felt like they were just reducing women to these one-dimensional people,

or caricatures, I should say. And, you know, so I just like doing these movies so women can finally have some really substantial roles. It's important. There are a lot of funny women not being serviced. Oh yeah, totally, totally. And I think we have to... Yeah, Paul's got roles. It's important. There are a lot of funny women not being serviced. Oh yeah, totally, totally. And I think we have to... Yeah, Paul's got a dinner to get to.

Yes. Oh, thank you. I do want to plug the movie again. Yeah, yeah. A simple favor. A simple favor it's called, opens this Friday. We'll probably move this episode up in the queue, Darryl. What do you think, to get to,

so that everybody can hear it and time to get out to the movie. Thank you. Yeah, we absolutely have to do this. Oh, thanks. Really funny. I love the line. My favorite line of the movie is they weren't Indonesian children.

They were Vietnamese teenagers. That was a hard laugh. Rupert Fram, who's fantastic. Very funny guy. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal podcast with my co-host Frank Santo Padre and we've been talking to the man who tried and failed to suck his own cock. Paul V. who tried and failed to suck his own cock.

It's a little bit of an interview and a little bit of a roast, Paul. I love it. I'm very thrilled. Hey, this was a thrill for us. Yeah, thank you so much. It's so much fun. Thank you. To get roasted by Gilbert Godfrey.

I set myself up. I put it in the book. So I have no... This is my wife's revenge. Does she call you and tell you to do this? The books are Kick Me and Superbad. Get them both. Superstud, superstud.

I'm sorry, superstud. Superbad, I got Apatow on the brain. Or How I Became a 24-Year-Old Virgin. And thanks to Gino for making this happen. Thank you, Gino. I don't give a damn about my reputation. I've never been afraid of any deviation. And I don't really care if you think I'm strange I ain't gonna change And I'm never gonna care about my bad reputation

I know, not me I know, not me What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Special thanks to John Murray, John Cuddy, and Paul Abram. Not me I don't give a damn about my bad reputation You're living in the past as a new generation And I only feel good when I got your pain And that's all I'm gonna say And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no