Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Ronnie Schell Encore

Episode Date: September 11, 2023

To mark September's National Chicken Month, GGACP presents this ENCORE of a 2017 conversation with one of the podcast’s most popular guests, actor and comedian Ronnie Schell. In this episode, Ronnie entertains Gilbert and Frank with classic stories about co-stars and contemporaries Harvey Korman, Don Rickles, Mickey Rooney, Don Knotts, and of course, Pat McCormick. Also: Ol’ Blue Eyes takes a punch, Lee Marvin comes up short, Bob Newhart plays the Sahara and Ronnie writes a check to the mob. PLUS: Jesse White! “The Devil and Max Devlin”! The brilliance of Jack Riley! The madness of Marty Ingels! And Gilbert meets Sid Melton (and his dog)!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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covers it all get on the money search on the money with Dynamic Funds and follow today. Hi, I'm Gilbert Gottfried. This is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. And we're once again recording at Nutmeg with our engineer, Frank Furtarosa. Our first episode with this week's guest was so well received, we decided to have him back for another round of totally unfounded rumors. He's a comedian, actor, and a familiar face on TV for decades, appearing on shows like The Patty Duke Show, The Andy Griffith Show, That Girl, Love American Style, Sanford and Son, The Love Boat, Mork and Mindy, Coach, and Yes, Dear, just to name a few. He's also starred in his own series, Good Morning World, but is best known as Jim Neighbors' pal Duke Slater

on the long-running comedy Gomer Pyle, USMC. And who was the young lady who played my girlfriend in Good Morning World? Did I talk about that? Oh, yes, you did. Miss Hahn. Miss Goldie Hahn. Oh, that's right. That's right.

Whatever happened to her? Yes. Now, can I continue? Yeah, go ahead. It's your show. Oh, that's going to be one of those. Feature films include The World's Strongest Man, The Shaggy D.A., Love at First Bite, The Devil and Max Devlin, Fatal Instinct, and How to Beat the High Cost of Living. He's also headlined in nightclubs and Vegas showrooms.

Still do. Still do. And done voices in Captain Caveman, The Smurfs, Fred Flintstone and Friends, DuckTales and Rugrats. Right. I was...

Oh, by the way, since we're giving credits here, since my good friend Don Rickles passed away, I am now, seriously, the oldest regular comedian working in Las Vegas. Regular. Not guest shots like Shecky Green or somebody like that. Oh, that's cool stuff. But I'm the oldest... Continue.

Very cool. Okay. All oldest. Continue. Very cool. Okay. There's only one more paragraph, Ron. In a six year, in a six year. Decade. You've been in this business for six years now. It's accomplished a lot. Six years.

It's been mighty lonely. It's been mighty lonely at the middle. Yes. It's been mighty lonely at the middle. Yes. In his six-decade career, he's worked with some of the biggest names in the entertainment business, including Johnny Carson, Carol Burnett, the Smothers Brothers, Goldie Hawn, George Siegel, Tim Conway, Rodney Dangerfield, and Groucho Marx.

Right. But, oddly enough, not Alan Ladd. Please welcome to the podcast, straight from a helicopter, circling Irene Dunn's house, one of our favorite guests and America's slowest rising young comedian. Old comedian now. Ronnie Shell. Well, Frank and Gilbert, it's good to be back. It really is.

I'm serious. I had to, believe it or not, I know you won't believe this, but people do listen to this show. And I got a lot of great compliments on my last appearance. They didn't say much about you guys, but they really loved my work. How many is a lot, Ronnie? How many is a lot? Three. Okay.

How many is a lot, Ronnie? How many is a lot? Three. Okay. You know, since you were on the last time, I don't know if my lawyer will let me talk about it, but former Charlie's Angel, Cheryl Ladd, who is the daughter-in-law of Hollywood-leading man Alan Ladd. She's the ex-daughter-in-law. Ex-daughter-in-law. Okay. A fine leading, Hollywood leading man, Alan Ladd. I think. She's the ex-daughter-in-law. Ex-daughter-in-law. Ex-daughter-in-law.

Okay. Now, can you please, for those of us who aren't familiar with this rumor about very handsome leading man, Alan Ladd, what was the rumor? I know he was very short, yes. He was so short, when it rained, he was always the last one to know. You know that? When he was in elevators, he smelled things differently. Oh, Lordy. Oh, I remember one time he was on Sunset Boulevard, had Bud Lecky.

He walked under a black cat. That's it. That's the extent of my short cat. That's it. That's the extent of my short jokes. That was very short. I was a fan of his. Is Cheryl pissed off? No, no. No, he's just funning.

He doesn't know Cheryl, lad. No. So can you please tell us that story? You want me to tell you the story again? Yes. Now, that's the only one that's apocryphal. Okay. Everything else I tell you the story again? Yes! Now, that's the only one that's apocryphal. Okay. Everything else I tell you actually happened.

My Mickey Rooney, my Don Rickles, all the other stuff. Now, apocryphal, he used to be married to Jackie Kennedy, right? No, no, no. Actually, I think he was married to Anne Blythe. I love an Anne Blythe. Tell us the story again. Well, the rumor was, and again, this is an apocryphal show. That was that movie that Francis Ford Coppola did.

Apocryphal now? Yes. Oh, apocryphal, yeah. That's right. And what's this thing about Alec Baldwin calling Harrison Ford a shrimp? Did you hear about that? Oh, yeah. No, I didn't hear this one.

Yeah, you did. But first, tell us the Alan Ladd story again. You don't want to hear about shrimps? No. Here's the story. It's apocryphal. I don't want to get in trouble. Here's what happened.

I don't want to get in trouble here's what happened during some of the latter days before he sobered up he used to get very intoxicated and he and Scott Brady's brother

he was also an actor and they used to go down to the garbage where they pour garbage He was also an actor. And they used to go down to the garbage. Were they poor garbage? They used to dump garbage with the guy. He would do that with this guy. I know you know him.

Scott Brady's brother. What was he in? Movies. Anyway, I don't know. I know you know him. Anyway, so the story is he would – he had definite sexual deviations and he would hire like 10 actresses, usually just girls. And they would form a circle and he would take all his clothes off. And they'd put a live chicken right in front of him.

And the girls would start dancing around, singing, You've simply got to fuck that chicken! Until, and I don't know if he did fuck the chicken, but that's the story. Yeah. And I think the funny part of it is you simply. Yeah, that's the best part. That's the best part. Yeah.

And so, and all these girls sounded like Margaret Dumont. Margaret Dumont, yes. He did sound a little bit like Francis Babier. Dumont, yes. He did sound a little bit like Francis Bobbier. Do you know that Margaret Dumont never realized how funny Groucho was? Yeah. That's what they say.

Yeah. Well, they're right. You know, Ron, you were talking about the feedback that you got from the episode. Ever since you were on and you told the chicken story, on our social media, on our Facebook pages and our Twitter account, people are sending chicken videos. They're sending chicken India. Chicken Photoshop. Chicken art. I'll have to send some of it to you. Well, I hope you do, but I don't

really know if... I hate to bring this up. I don't know if a man can fuck a chicken. No, I'm serious. I think somebody got busted last week. One of our fans sent us a story about a guy who got arrested for trying to have sex with a chicken. Oh, that's right. It was in the news here last week. But in all fairness, he was trying to.

Maybe he got it from your show. Maybe. Could be. Were there waitresses? Were there girls hired to dance around him? Yes. Yeah. I think a guy can get a blowjob from a chicken.

Are you sure about that? Yeah. But it has to be very delicate. They have beaks. They have beaks. Now, you worked on Mr. Belvedere. Yeah. Okay.

This is a story that I heard. Okay. I was once doing an appearance on some TV show, and on the lot. I saw it. I saw it. On the same lot, they were that Mr. Belvedere, Christopher Hewitt, had to be rushed to the hospital because he accidentally sat on his balls. Too hung low. Isn't that,

that is interesting because this is a true story and I know I won't get, I won't get in trouble for this because this was 25 years ago, but I used to be in a therapy class

with a guy and he, he came, we all talked, you know, about your problems and he said, well, I had a terrible problem. I stuck a light bulb and he came. We all talked, you know, about your problems. He said, well, I had a terrible problem. I stuck a light bulb up my ass.

Can you believe that? How do you get off on that? Anyway, I just thought I'd bring that up. Yeah, so I imagine Christopher Hewitt must have had those really sagging testicles. If he could sit on them. Yeah, but he was a great guy. I think he... Well, that's what matters. I think he might have been...

I think he might have walked on the other side of the street. I see. I see. Now, he always struck me as the pussy hound. No. No. No. Okay, so, Ronnie, you have no official...

The other guy that was on there, Bob Uecker. Oh, yeah, Bob Uecker was on there. Funny guy. Great guy. Very funny. I did a movie with him. You probably don't know about it. Go ahead. Tell us the movie. What was the movie? Fatal... Not Fatal Instinct, but Fatal... something. The one with... Carl Reiner directed it.

It was the last movie that Carl Reiner directed. Yeah, Fatal Instinct with Sean Young. That's right. Sean Young. last movie that Carl Reiner directed. Yeah, Fatal Instinct with Sean Young. That's right. Sean Young. Armando Santi. Yes, yes. Armando Santi. Where is he now?

I played the, on the train, I played the, what's the guy that comes around and take your tickets? Conductor. I was a conductor, and also I was in court. That's right. And the judge was Tony Randall. Oh, wow. Yes, indeed. He was in that, and also I was in court. And the judge was Tony Randall. Oh, wow. Yes, indeed. He was in that, too.

Mm-hmm. A lot of people were in that. I also did a movie leading up to another story. Okay. I also did a movie called, and this is true. Now, from now on, this is the truth, because I have witnesses. Okay. I did a wonderful movie called, the uh it was for roger corman it was called the revenge of the red baron oh this is

the one with mickey rooney mickey rooney lorraine newman a very good friend of mine oh we love lorraine oh she was in problem child 2 with me she was on this very podcast. Yes. Did she mention me? She did not, sadly. Fuck her. She mentioned, she mentioned Dallin Wyatt a lot. Christopher Ewing's balls. What? Did she go down on him or up on him?

Anyway, so naturally, I love Mickey. I think Mickey Rooney was one of the great actors of our time. And he was crazy. And so this is a true story. We all sat around one afternoon, not dancing or anything like that, with the crew. And I always sat right next to him because I wanted to hear stories about Louis B. Mayer and Louis Stone and all those people. And so he had just become a born-again Christian. I don't know if you guys remember that when he got real religious.

I don't think I knew that. Did you know that, Gil? Oh, yes, yes, definitely. So you can check on this. Okay. In fact, I wish you'd check on it while I'm telling this story. Yeah, okay. I want it to be verified.

So anyway, so I'm sitting next to him, and he's got all the crew. Crew, those are my proof. The crew were sitting there in the afternoon, and he said, I hope that you all have been born again and taken the Lord to your body because I am now a true Christian, and I love God and everything it stands for. And I think it's important that we all become Christians before we die so we can see the everlasting heaven.

And just two extras, girls walk by, and he says, and I think, look at the tits on that broad over there. I'd like to climb those mountains. True story. Now, I heard a Mickey Rooney story. Oh, let's hear it. That he was doing, like, some show somewhere, and it was very common knowledge. It was a common practice that Mickey Rooney would do

because like all of them would say come on Mickey's doing it again let's go watch and what Mickey Rooney would do is he would go to like a hallway phone or his dressing room phone get on the phone with his wife. Which one? He's had eight of them. Yes. Maybe all of them. And he would say, oh, I love you, darling.

I just want you to know how much I miss you and how much I – And while he'd be doing this, he'd either be fucking or getting blown by some girl. And he would gather all the cast and crew to watch it, and they'd be all like applauding. Is that right? Yeah. No, I did not know that story. He'd be fucking some girl or having a girl blow him, and he'd be talking to his wife going,

oh, you're the most important thing to me. Well, you know who used to do that? you're the most important thing to me. Well, you know who used to do that? You know the French doors where you can divide a door up and down? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Milton Berle.

Milton Berle used to stand and give orders while he was being blown on the bottom. And no one would see it. That's true. By the way, he had a biggie. Oh, yeah. There are rumors. Have you ever seen Milton Berle's cock? No, I never saw it.

I wanted to, but I never. I dreamt about it, but no. I never have. But when I met him, when I met him up in Lake Tahoe one afternoon, and then I got to know him pretty well, not really great, but he said, my name is Milton. I can't remember his true name. Oh, Milton Berlinger, I think. Yeah, Berlinger. Yeah.

No, no. I think it was Berlinger. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I know you'd know that because he was Jewish. So he said, I'm- Milton Berle was Jewish? That's a shock.

I just found this out. Amazing since you guys have little dicks. Except for Eddie Fisher. Eddie Fisher had a big dick? Yeah. Wow. I never heard this about Eddie Fisher. Well, now you know.

That's not apocryphal. And then someone else told us on this show that Jan Murray had a big dick. Yeah, I heard that too. I don't know. I can't... I can't... I knew all the big dicks because I worked with a singer who had most

of them. I'm not going to mention her name. Bobby Bobby Rydell told us Guy Marks. Oh, yes. Guy Marks had a big one. Do you notice they're all Jewish? Think about it. Of course, the giant was Forrest Tucker. Of course.

Oh, yeah. They said he used to hit golf balls with his dick. Very good. I thought I was going to do the humor here. By the way, you mean Richard Kind? Yes. Oh, Richard. You have Richard on the show?

Yeah, Richard's been on twice. We love him. Why do you have him on twice and me? Oh, that's right. I am twice. Yeah, you're twice too. Richard Kind is a friend of mine, and every time he comes out to the West Coast, he comes to have coffee with us and tell us about his credits.

I love him. You can tell him I said that. I love him. Yeah, I'm doing a Broadway show next week. I'm going to do two days in Britain, and then I come back and go to Australia. I love him. Good guy. Two lovely kids.

Or three. Sweet guy. Yeah. How do we get into this Richard Kind? Oh, who else? Oh, do you want to know the little ones? Oh, yes. Yeah.

Little dicks. I'm only going to mention two. Okay. Present company excluded. He takes a sip from his drink. Present company excluded. He takes a sip from his drink. Present company excluded. I heard that, you're going to be surprised. Oh.

Lee Marvin. No. Really? That's what the singer told me. I don't want to believe that one. I don't either. Yeah. That's heartbreaking. Yeah. You think I wanted to believe that Robert Mitchum had a little one? Who? Robert Mitchum? Robert Mitchum had a little one? Who? Robert Mitchum? Robert Mitchum had a little dick?

That's what this girl told me. Oh, no. That's one of my favorite actors. Don't go away. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsor. I'm going away. Stop it, you. Ha, ha. Yeah. million delicious instant prizes and a grand prize of $25,000. Play at games.circlek.com or at participating Circle K stores.

Gil and Frank went out to pee. Now they're back so they can be on their amazing colossal podcast. Kids, time to get back to Gilbert and Frank's amazing colossal podcast. So let's go. Amazing, colossal podcast. So, let's go. Now, you started to tell us about the mob, because Gilbert loves to ask comics about the nightclub, the old Vegas and the old nightclub days. And you said you had some experiences. Probably every club I worked, and a lot were back in New York, was owned by the mafia. I worked in Chicago.

I won't mention the name of the room, but it was very popular on Rush Street in Chicago. And the day I arrived, because I worked with a wonderful singer, I can't think of her name. I think it was, I don't know. Anyway, so when I arrived, I found out that the owner, I do that in quotes because the owner was front, had been murdered and found in a trunk in front of the hotel, in front of the, it was called the, I can't remember.

Anyway, they found him, so I was scared to start it. So I came and I went and did the show. And in the back was a group of elderly Italian men who just sat there all the time. And finally I said to the manager, who are those guys sitting there all the time? And he said, don't mention it and don't look at them and they were actually the mob that would come in and sit there and i don't know if they enjoy the show but they were there every night so that was uh an example then there was a guy named manny scar who i don't know if i should tell this he was he was a great little guy he was very nice to me. And he was head of the mafia,

but he was Jewish, you know. Manny Scar. Manny Scar. He was later machine gunned in front of his house. Anyway, so one night after the show, he came in and said, Ronnie, hey, you want to go to breakfast? We're going out by the airport. I've got a new room I'm opening up there. I said, yeah. Naturally, I wouldn't say no. So he took 15 of us from a couple of rooms, and we went out there. And it was like 3 o'clock in the morning, and we ordered breakfast, eggs.

And this is actually, it was sort of embarrassing. We're starting to eat, and in walks the waiter with eggs and man he scarred chases these fucking eggs are cold and he got up and beat the shit out of this little waiter while 14 of us played like it's not happening because if we got in there you know in into, he'd beat the shit out of us. Wow. Now, that is a true story. Wow. You expected a punchline.

There is no punchline. That's a true story. Wow. That is a good one. Are you glad you missed the mob era of nightclubs, Gil? I'm going to tell you something. The mob treated entertainers great. That's what we hear.

Yeah. When I first – oh, this is a true story. When I first – I won't mention the name of the hotel. When I first – but it was – I opened for Wayne Newton. And across the street, I was single then. And across the street, they were rehearsing a pizzazz. They used to call it pizzazz at the hotel, and I can't think of the name of it. It's no longer there.

So I went over in the afternoon after opening night. I felt good. I'm sitting there, and I'm watching these girls rehearse, hoping to nab one myself. And this guy sits down next to me, and he said, You're Ronnie Shill, aren'tinger, and I said, yes. Yeah, I was there opening night. I said, oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

It's good to see you. I said, well, thank you, thank you. He said, write me a check for 15%. I said, pardon me? Write me a check for 15% every week. I said, no, you don't understand. I have an agent, William Morris, and I write me a check for 15%. Oh, you don't work.

I wrote him a check for 15% for the first three engagements I had in Vegas. Because that was the end of an era. But that was – And I gladly paid it. Because if anybody troubled me, all I had but that was wow and i gladly played it paid it because you know if anybody uh troubled me all i had to do is go and say hey maury guy's giving me a bad time and that would be the end of it for them that's a true story everybody that's come on this show ronnie that that that had any kind of experience with the mob tells us the same story which is how well

they were yeah how well they were treated and how they never had any issues. They loved the mob. Didn't you ever work in Vegas in your career? I have, but I don't think – Not you, Frank. No, no. I've always worked in Vegas. Yeah.

Yeah. No, I wonder if you ever worked – Gilbert, if you ever worked with the boys because they were right in there. You never did, Gil. I don't think ever directly. No. I mean who knows. You know, Carl Cohen, another Jewish guy, was in charge of the Sands and the Caesar's Palace when I worked there. I worked there with Carol Burnett, her only engagement in Vegas. And anyway, so I was told a story about Frank Sinatra.

And that's a guy, Carl Cohen is a guy who cold-cocked Sinatra when Sinatra wanted to gamble more than he had and Carl Cohen came and said, no, no, no, you know, you've done your limit. He said, don't tell me. And he said some anti-Semitic remark. I'm sure it was just in his anger. And Carl Cohen

cold-cocked him, knocked his teeth down and Frank Sinatra had about eight guys with him. And they started toward Carl Cohen. And Carl Cohen had 12 guys behind him. Oh, geez. And Sinatra said, to his credit, Sinatra said, I warn you, never hit a Jew in the desert. That's funny. You were going to tell us about your friend Don Rickles, who we just lost. That's funny. You were going to tell us

about your friend Don Rickles who we just lost. Oh, yeah. You guys can explain this, maybe. I worked... There used to be a club in Hollywood called Slate Brothers. You never worked there, did you? Slate Brothers. On La Cienega.

Yeah, how did you know about that? Because I study up on this kind of shit, Ron. Oh, good for you. In 1959, I came down from San Francisco, and I worked for the Slate Brothers. I opened for Jack Jones and a bunch of other people, some girl, Montgomery. Anyway, anyway.

girl montgomery anyway anyway so and rickles came from uh either i know baltimore or someplace from back east here and maybe it was new york and uh and he and i were the only of course he was headlining i was in the basement but uh he was uh he and i became very good friends. Then I did – he did a guest shot on Gomer Pyle and we saddled up and we were very good friends. And then we did – Jim Neighbors had a variety show. Oh, yeah. I'm sure you – yeah. Jim Neighbors Hour. The Jim Neighbors Hour. I worked twice with him there.

And I used to hang around with him. This is early on. When comics worked, they would always go and have coffee somewhere. And Rickles was always just great to me. He was great to me. I remember one night. You can see this on TV because they saw it on TV recently that we did a roast for Don Adams. Oh, yeah.

Next to Newhart, that was his best friend, Don Adams. They started together. Sure. And so we're all up in the DS, and I'm right by the microphone, luckily. I forget. Gary Owens was the emcee, and James Kahn was there, and a bunch of other people. And so just to show you how great his memory was,

and Rickles was sitting way in the back. And so when it was my turn, I opened up and I said, Hi, I'm Ronnie Schell. And I will tell you that before I start, that I'll be opening at Basin Street West on March 19th. That's three weeks. And I hope you'll all be there to see me in Palm Springs. And now we had all these guys come up and do all this thing. And at the end, an hour and a half later, and here's Rickles. Rickles got up and he was standing next to me and I was sitting in the room

and he said, hi, I'm Don Rickles. And I'll tell you where I won't be on March 19th. He remembered. That was just what, then Newhart tells a great story. I can't do it justice because Newhart was there when – excuse me, Bob, for telling you this because you're probably not listening.

He's probably not. When he was first starting at the Sahara, remember he played the lounge? And why would you know? You weren't born then. Anyway, so he was so Bob was going to take his lovely wife, great lady, I can't think of her name right now,

to see Rickles. he warned his wife, he said, no, be careful because he's going to lamp into us and he holds, takes no prisoners, but he's funny. So just before Rickles came on stage, Bob looks over in the corner by the exit and he sees this guy sitting there with a divot in his jaw. You know, what do you call it? A serious jaw replacement.

Not good at all. So in comes Rickles, and he works an hour and a half. Does not mention this guy by the exit. The divot. At the end of his show, he walks toward the exit, and he says, thank you, you've been a great audience. He walks past the guy and says, and by the way, nobody notices. Newhart tells that story. Newhart tells that story.

And I probably asked you this the last time, but do you have any stories about working with Groucho Marx? Nothing really funny. I'll tell you. I did You Bet Your Life. What happened was, I didn't tell this how I got on it? I think you told this one. Yeah. Well, I'll go over that.

I'll tell it again because I'd like to hear it. I was working at the Purple Onion with Phyllis and so the producer can't even think of his name sent George Fenneman who was from San Francisco up to

see if Phyllis would come and do the Groucho Marx show so I went up they went up and she said yes. And then he turned to me, he said, did you go to San Francisco State? I said, yes. And he said, well, I went there 15 years ago. I said, oh yeah, good. He said, would you like to do the show? And I said, oh yeah, I'd like to. How? He said, well, we got to give a niche for you. You know, some kind of a, how about if you were a beatnik expert? Well, I didn't know anything about beatniks. And I said,

if you were a beatnik expert. Well, I didn't know anything about beatniks. I said, no, I'll do that. So she was on the first week, and then two weeks later I was on. And I'll just briefly tell you what the director said. I said, now, you know, I am a comedian, so I've got a few comedy things I'd like to throw in. Do you mind?

He said, not at all. But just remember, Groucho is the star. This is film, and we can cut you out very easily. So I was on my best behavior, and the show went very well. I won $600 because the duck came out. Yeah, it's still on YouTube. You can see it. Yeah, you can see it.

I tried to make out with this singer. No luck. Girl, girl. She on YouTube. You can see it. Yeah, you can see it. I tried to make out with this singer. No luck. Girl. She was cute. Good singer. Now, why doesn't Shelly Berman like you? How'd you know that? I found it in an interview.

From him? No, with you. Me? Yeah. Oh, he doesn't like me. Yeah, that's what I said. He's not well. He's not well. Yeah, that's what I said. He's not well. He's not well.

Yeah, that's what we hear. I'm not going to say anything bad about him. But, you know, to this day, I don't know. I just remember we were together. He would ignore me in front. So I went up to him and I said, Shelly, come on. What have I done?

He said, never mind. Oh, never mind. Oh, never mind. And they walked away. I never found out. And now I think it's too late because he's not well at all. Yeah. But when he started,

he was dynamic. Yes, very funny. Well, didn't he think Newhart stole from him? Yes. Because they thought everybody stole. They did the telephone.

That's what I think happened. I think I stole, I think he thought I stole some material from him. And, you know, in those days I probably did. I don't remember. But he never forgave me. The only other guy I never got along with was Shirley Jones' second husband. Oh, Marty.

Marty Ingalls. I never got along with him at all. We almost fought once on a radio show back in L.A. He was tough. He was tough. Someone said, a lot of people said, Shirley, why did you marry Marty? Because he was not liked. And she said, he makes me laugh.

He did. Did you think he was funny? Gil? Oh. Did you think Marty Ingalls was funny? Come on, be honest. Is Marty Ingalls dying? No, he's dead.

He's gone. We lost Marty. He's died. Oh, so I can't realize. Marty's gone. I never, yeah, I never got it with him. There you go. Yeah.

Surely thought he was hilarious. But the first husband was really funny, Jack Cassidy. Jack Cassidy, yeah. We talked about him last time. Do you want to ask that? Not as funny as his son, but he was hilarious. I'm talking about him. I just remember, because you were talking about we were talking about shelly berman angry that bob newhart still and there were a bunch of

comedians around the same time who used to put their fist against their between their ear and their mouth and do phone call bits oh yeah well uh. Well, Newhart and Shelley. And before them. Did Sam Levinson do that? Georgie Jessel. Georgie Jessel did it? Interesting. Hello, Mama?

Oh, that's right. Of course. Yeah, Mama. Yeah, Georgie Jessel. Did I tell you that? You know, at Hillcrest, which is the predominantly jewish uh country club only started because the gentiles had one in toluca lake and so they needed to you know have their own this is back in the 30s and uh someone told me i can't i can't think of who it was someone told me that they would have lunch all together, George Burns, Jack Benny, all these guys, Levin, Jan Murray, Big Dick, and all these guys.

And do you know who he said was the funniest of them all offstage? No. Yeah. George Jessel.stage? No. Yeah. George Jessel. Really? Wow. Funnier than Benny. I don't know.

Funnier than Benny. Yeah, Benny used to just sit and laugh. But Jessel would absolutely destroy everybody sitting there at the table. There's some names of people Gilbert wanted to ask. You wanted to ask Ronnie about Sid Melton. Oh, my God, yes. I love little Sid. I love it. He did a couple of Gomer Piles.

Yeah, he never he never married. He always worked and he had a dog. That's all I know about him. You knew that dog. Yes, yes, I once met him

and met his dog. Oh, did you meet his dog? Yeah, yes. I once met him and met his dog. Oh, did you meet his dog? Yeah, he had this broken down house near the airport. That's probably true. Yeah. I never went to his house, but he was a very, very good guy. And, you know, he worked all the time. Yeah, funny guy.

And he used to be a regular on with Danny Thomas. Yeah, Danny Thomas. Yeah. Do you know any Danny Thomas stories? Not really. Look at his reaction. Go ahead. No, no.

I haven't. Danny was, I can't complain because he was very, very nice to me. I wasn't complaining either. And, you know, I was here and there on the Marlo Thomas show. That girl, right. You were Harvey Peck. Yeah, Harvey. Very good.

And I got along with her well. In fact, when my two kids were born around that time, until they – until she married – Bill Donahue married Bill Donahue. She used to send me Christmas cards to my kids saying, Aunt Marlo, I have nothing against her. She was great and good little actress. Yes, absolutely. What about Jesse White? I love Jesse. He had a glass eye.

I didn't know that. I didn't know that either. Yeah, one time I said, can you use me again? He said, I'll keep an eye out for you. But it's terrible, terrible. But he never cared. But he was, yes, I worked with him on a, first time I ever worked with him was on Campbell's Frozen Soup commercial.

We did it in a freezer, and the director was Carl Reiner. Wow. Oh, geez. We just had Carl on the show. Oh, yeah. He's about 84 or 90. No, 96. 96, I think. Did he tell you that he and Mel

Brooks get together every night? Every night. Yeah. And watch movies. Now, Gil, you wanted to ask, did you want to ask Ronnie about the Devil and Max Devlin and working with Bill Cosby? Yes. Yes. What was it like for you working with Bill Cosby? Bill was always nice to me.

He worked up in San Francisco a lot when I was living there. And I thought he was very funny. But if you watch The Devil and Max Devlin, he plays a devil who's never seen. You remember that? Did you see it? Yeah. Years ago. Me too.

Anyway, in every scene that he comes in, I don't know how they missed this out. Anyway, in every scene that he comes in, I don't know how they missed this out. He's wearing the, he goes to a construction site and he's wearing a construction hat and everything like that. Why? Nobody sees him. He's a ghost. But if you can see the devil in Max Devlin, that's exactly what he always wore. Always.

And I can't say anything about, and thank you. Got a beer? I can't say anything against him. I guess he's in trouble, but he was always funny. I always got along with him. Tell Ronnie your Asian models thing about Bill. He'll enjoy this. He'll enjoy this, Ron.

Maybe I will, maybe I won't. Okay. No pressure. Here's a story I heard from maybe I will and maybe I won't. Okay. No pressure. Here's a story I heard from one of the writers. Is this apocryphal? Is this apocryphal? And according to one of the writers on one of the Cosby shows, he said Cosby

would set aside an hour out of each day, like, you know, starting at 2.30 or whatever, and that he would teach a comedy class to Asian models. Why? Exactly. That's wild. And I wonder if there was an ulterior motive.

Oh, I can't imagine. No, I can't either. Have you ever met a funny Asian? I mean, I have a lot of friends that are Asian, but they're not very funny. And of course, they have peripheral vision, so they can't. Oh, no. I'm kidding. Pat Morita.

Well, that's. I worked with Pat Morita. Okay. The hip nip. We worked at a place. He was from Sacramento, near where I was born. And he used to come work a place in L.A. where I work called The Horn. And he was big on the booze.

But very funny. And so I used to do a show that I produced at my alma mater every year. And I'd get everybody that was available. I don't know where you were. Because I had everybody. I had Corman and all these guys and Jonathan Winters and all the people. And so I hired Pat, and this was toward the last, and he came off the plane zonked.

And I said, well, I know you'll sober up because tomorrow we're going to do the first show. He made one show, and he said, I can't go on. Sort of a sad ending to Pat Morita. Very funny man. Very funny. What about Joey Bishop early in your career? Any memories of Joey? Yes.

Joey Bishop was – I have nothing against Joey Bishop. Where a lot of people said he was tough. We – I did his night show. You know who the runner was the announcer regis regis yeah yeah and he was sort of hi hi i'm regis philbin thank you uh joey you know it was like that but um he was good to you he was good to me joey was very good and And when Tom Jones opened up out of Wales, he was a big sensation. And Joey Bishop and Danny Thomas were in – no, it's true. Were in the lobby and I just happened to be – I was working somewhere in Vegas.

And they said, come on, Ronnie. Come with us. And they went right down in the front row. So I am – they were very good to me. Um, all, both of them. And what about Rodney Dangerfield? Rodney, I did his movie. I did a movie with him. Yeah. Rover Dangerfield. Rover Dangerfield. Yeah. I played his best friend and very funny, very funny. I'll tell you, I get no respect.

I can't do it, but a lot of guys do him. But he was very funny. And Gil, you made a couple of Rodney Dangerfield movies. Yeah. None that anyone ever saw. Well, I don't think anybody ever saw Rover Dangerfield. Oh, yeah. Yeah, this was made around that era of Rover Dangerfield.

What was it? I made one that was Meet Wally Sparks. And then that at least got released. That's right, it did get released. Nobody saw it, but it got released. And the other one was Back by Midnight, which I don't think was ever released. Well, that's understandable because Rodney, we did this film, and it was really good, very well done. Rodney wrote it.

I think you can get it at the video stores. Do they still have video stores? No, not really. Okay, well, I'll sell you mine. I've got a cover in my car. Anyway, so the night before it was going to be released, because it really is a good little animated film, he had a big fight with Warner Brothers,

and it was never released. So probably the same situation. Oh, interesting. And he could be very temperamental, but he was always hilariously funny. We're just going to throw a couple of names out here. How about Hans Conrad? Oh, my God, yeah.

I did a movie with him. I did a movie with him. Yeah. Shaggy D.A. Shaggy D.A., yeah, I played the director. And Hans Conrad, he was just a nice guy. Phil Silvers? He's the strongest man in the world?

I'll tell you a story about Phil Silvers. Yes. Phil Silvers, very funny guy. You guys know that. Sure. Bilko, he was sensational. And I guess he had had a stroke when he did strongest man in the world because they had boards for him to read.

Oh, cue cards, yeah. And you probably won't know who I'm going to mention, but I'll tell you anyway. And one time on that set, we were doing – we took a little – Eve Arden was in that too. Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah. And he started crying, and I didn't know what to do. And I said to – I can't remember who it was.

I said, what's with Phil? He said, his best friend died. I said, oh, no. Who is that? He said, Rags Ragland. He died 20 years ago. Oh, ouch. that's a sad story yeah but rags raglan was a an mgm comedian i think out of burlesque and he was very funny too you know rags raglan gill oh yeah so he

he was crying as if it had just as if it happened yesterday wow Wow. Oh. What about Jack Riley? One of my best friends. Yeah, funny man. Did he ever do your show? No. No, unfortunately. Probably too late. Yeah, we started up too late.

It's funny. With Jack Riley, he got a whole second career on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno because he looked like that cult leader with the Hellfire Comet. The Heaven's Day cult. Jack was hoping he was going to be made into a series. We love Jack. Oh, he was such a great guy. We just had Barry Levinson on.

We were just talking about him. Oh, he was such a great guy. We just had Barry Levinson on. We were just talking about him. Oh, Barry Levinson? Jack Riley. By the way, Barry Levinson, did you see High Anxiety? Oh, sure, sure. Barry Levinson was hilarious in that. Oh, he was. Yes, yes.

And Jack Riley. I hope you're listening, Barry. I need a job. Jack Riley, I forget what they called that character on Newhart. He was like Mr. Carlin. Mr. Carlin. He was always like the mean guy. Yeah, great.

Yeah. Funny man. And as long as they gave him just a few lines, because he was hard with lines. You know, he would do four or five, but then after that he'd forget. Yeah, he was a great character. He was called in TV Guide one of the top 40 character actors on television. Yeah, we loved him. Did you have a softball team with Jack Riley and Martin Mull?

Ten years. And John Biner? You just named my pitchers. And Harvey Korman. Yeah. He was terrible. Terrible. I had a team in Encino when I lived there.

That's in the San Fernando Valley. And I wanted to be a baseball player when I was young. And so my wife talked to me and said, get out and do some softball. And so I said, yes, dear. Whatever she says. I called it the war department. And so she – so I formed a group, mainly show business guys. I'll tell you who they were, called the reruns.

Yep. And we were there for 10 years. We won one year. We were the champs. But we had people that shouldn't have been there, like Steve Yeager of the Dodgers. Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah, he came in and hit home runs for us. And my pitchers were John Beiner and Martin Mull.

Yep. And my second baseman was Jack Riley. Terrible, terrible ball player. My shortstop was Steve Yeager. Who was a real ball player for our listeners. Who was a real ball player, yeah. He was a catcher for the Dodgers, yeah. And my left fielder was also a very good athlete, Fred Willard.

Oh, okay. Oh, wow. He was a great, great athlete. And you played short? I played first. You played first. I played first. Right.

I played first. And my right fielder was Harvey. What was that like? I'm just laughing. He ran like an old man. And who else? There was an actor who was a star in West Side Story called Tony Madinty. Oh, yeah.

He played one of the main characters. I knew you'd know him because he's Italian. That's right. He's one of mine. Heroes. And he played, I think, center center field so i had a mainly oh and what's his name played one game bob uh the guy we mentioned earlier he does uh baseball for the oh bob euchre bob euchre yeah and uh but i'll tell you it was tough because when Jaeger threw to first base, that stung.

Oh, yeah. He's a real player. Yeah. And what was Harvey Korman like, and just as a person? Well, Harvey was my best friend until the last six or seven months of his life. He got very sick. And we had a little outs together. But I loved him because we were both hypochondriac.

He was the biggest hypochondriac. Remember that big earthquake in – oh, you're not from the West Coast. They had a big earthquake. And I remember his wife told me – he jumped up and he said, oh, my God, what's going to happen? And she said, go check the children. Check the children. I'm going to take my blood pressure. And he took his blood pressure.

That kind of guy. We would drive out. We would go to lunch. And I would go up to his house. And we would drive out. And there would be some workmen on the street. And he'd say, I want you to go around the block twice. I said, why?

I think they're going to burglarize my house because he was paranoid. Paranoid and a hypochondriac. Oh, yeah. But I will tell you, I think he was the finest sketch comedian of all time. Nothing can top Blazing Saddles. We were just talking about it. Oh, he was great. Hedley Lamar. Yeah. He manages to steal that movie, and everybody in the movie is great.

Yes. Everyone does their best work, and yet you can't take your eyes off him. Oh, he was just, oh, I loved him. But he was always complaining about not getting enough money, and he was a complete neurotic. But I said this, and I think I might have said it the last time. I've never met a successful comedian who wasn't screwed up. Can you name me one? Maybe Art Linkletter.

Maybe Art Linkletter. You consider Art Linkletter a comedian? Yeah, exactly. Well, he started as a thing at the World's Fair. But if you can name me, and I've tested this with everybody, name me one comedian, and the more screwed up they are, the funnier they are. I agree. I agree.

It's something that always worried me about the idea of going to a therapist. Oh, I – no, you should do it. Yeah, no. You really should, Gil. But the idea that they might cure something that's causing – Oh, that's – you're absolutely right. You're absolutely right, Gilbert, because I know people that said, oh, I'm not going to a psychiatrist. I'll be well and then I won't have funny thoughts anymore.

I know a lot of people have done that. I took Jack Riley to an – not AA, Al-Anon because I'm – well, I'm not supposed to tell you. But anyway, an Al-Anon meeting, you know, Al-Anon. because I'm – well, I'm not supposed to tell you. But anyway, an Al-Anon meeting. You know Al-Anon? Sure. Oh, yeah. Yeah. When it was over, I walked out and I said, now, are you going to come back with me next week?

And he said, no, I got it. He got it once. You never get it. George Carlin screwed up. Oh, yeah. Funny. Oh, yeah. Jonathan Winters.

Nobody would – I worked with Johnny many times. Oh, yeah. Funny. Oh, yeah. Jonathan Williams. Nobody would. I worked with Johnny many times. And I had one other one.

Oh, Robin Williams. Oh, yeah. Nobody was more screwed up than Robin. Yet he was a genius. I always think of it in terms of like an oyster is able to make a pearl because there's some irritation there. Good point. And if there's no irritation, it wouldn't be making pearls. Very good. I'm going to use that.

No, I'm serious. That's very true. That's profound, Gil. Yeah. You came up with that yourself? It is profound. It is profound. Damn it, it is.

You can't name me one. Think about it. One comedian who wasn't screwed up in some way. Well, I've always thought that not just comedians, but also like singers. Musicians, yeah. And I think like a lot of them, they give up drugs. And then it's like all of a sudden there's not that fire in them anymore. You're absolutely right. And I think I've worked with most of the singers, except I worked with Sammy.

I never worked with Sinatra. I was always scared to meet him because he could be volatile. And Dean Martin, I never worked with him. But most of the other singers, Tony Bennett, I worked with three times. And next time, I'll tell you a wonderful Tony Bennett story. I don't want to tell it this time. Why not? I have to have something for my third appearance.

What about Bob Crane, speaking of screwed up people? You worked with Bob Crane. Yes, I did. Yeah, from Hogan's Heroes. He was on the same lot. When we were doing Gomer, he was doing Hogan's Heroes. Yeah. And the only thing I objected to was if you watch Hogan's Heroes, he was supposed to be military.

And he had a pompadour with his hat. And I was saying, that's not military. But you look. You see Hogan's Heroes. By the way, last Sunday I did an autograph show in L.A. and little Robert Clary. Oh, Robert Clary. He's the only surviving cast member. Have you done this?

Has he done this show? He has not. We're not in a hurry to get him. As soon as we've got time. Talk about, he was in the Holocaust, you know. I mean, he was escaped from France. His family. His whole family was killed. Yes, absolutely. In he was escaped from France. His family. His whole family was killed.

Yes, absolutely. In Vichy, France. But he was very friendly. He was friendly. Who else? Well, we'll throw some names out at you here. But what do you know? Were you privy to any of what was going on with Bob Crane, like with those sex films.

No, completely filled, completely fooled. I even did his radio. He had a radio show that was very popular in L.A., and he was very good, and I had no idea. I mean, that was a complete surprise, I think, to everyone. Yeah. He's in the movie Gus with you. Yes, he is. Yeah. We didn't have a scene together, but he, to everyone. Yeah. He's in the movie Gus with you. Yes, he is. Yes.

We didn't have a scene together, but he played the announcer. Right. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast after this. What about some of these other names, Ron? Joe Flynn. Ah. You were the strongest man in the world. Any of these jump out at you? Keenan Wynn? Yeah, Joe Flynn was Ah. You were the strongest man in the world. Any of these jump out at you?

Keenan Wynn? Yeah, Joe Flynn was very funny. Very funny. Keenan Wynn. Yeah. Keenan Wynn I did a Gomer Pyle with, and I made it a point to see him. He was very, very good. Very good.

How about Art Metrano? I've worked with Art many times. Is he still around? Yeah, he's still around. We're going to get him on this show. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da New York. Did he? Yeah, ask him about it. Okay. In a parking lot. I'll be sure to do that. Don't tell him I told you. Was it a mugging or was it? Yeah, a mugging. Or something. Yeah.

He's in Levinson's movie. He's in Toys. Oh, that's right. Yeah. What about Paul Lynn? Did you ever work with Paul Lynn? Oh, did I work with Paul Lynn? Yes! I did. He had a show called Temperatures Rising. Temperatures Rising. And I played a guy who was crazy.

And I got to be honest with you. I don't care who knows this. That whole week, that whole week, I did not wear my wedding ring. It's not that I didn't want him to know I was married, but I didn't want him to think maybe that I might be gay so I could get more parts.

Everybody in L.A. knows that story. On the Friday night before we finished finished he said ronnie shell come over here and i thought oh jesus what's gonna do i don't know wanted to but he came over and he was just being friendly he was hysterically funny yes very funny man oh and you worked with jerry lewis haven't you once did you do a psa with jerry lewis

i might have yeah i think you did south s airlines yeah yeah do you remember anything huh of no the only time i remember jerry and and i was scared uh you know i'm not scared but you know was wary of him because i'd heard a lot of things that he'd be a prick but he wasn't he was just he he came to the to the um where we did it last time the improv and they was do they were doing a comedy for his telethon and he was in the audience and i have film of him laughing hysterically at me i don't know if he was faking it, but for him to do that would be, even if he was faking it, when it was over, he'd just come up and say, very good, very good. The Rich and Wise thing.

I did, well, I haven't seen you since then. Jack Riley just died a couple of months ago, and I was one of the, died a couple of months ago and I was one of the in Hollywood, you don't you have roasts of people that are dead. Do they do that here? Well, Gilbert, you roasted

Abe Vigoda. I roasted him at his funeral. Yeah, well, they do that always in Hollywood. I've done it. I did it for Pat McCormick. I did it for – who are we talking about? Harvey?

Harvey? No. No? Well, Harvey passed. Oh, Jack Riley. Jack Riley. Jack Riley. So I get up, and Mel Brooks, who I've since become pretty good friends with, I like him. And he's a genius.

You know that. And so he's sitting right near the stage. And I just happened to score very heavily that day. And when I came off, he said, honey, very funny, very good, very good. And I said, why didn't you tell me that 25 years ago when you were casting? And he went and walked away. But he's – oh, I'll tell you a secret. It just came out last week.

It's not a secret anymore. Do you know he's going to work for Steve Wynn? Have you heard about this? Mel Brooks is? Yeah. No, I haven't heard. He does a show. Yeah.

He's going to work two nights at Steve Wynn's hotel in February. Guess how much he's making for the two nights? No idea. Two million dollars. Wow. It's good to be mel oh yeah that's not act that's not a what was it agoraphobic apocryphal that was not apocryphal that's a true story hey gill's very impressed ronnie that you dated nichelle nichols yes of star Trek fame. Yes. Yes, I did. So did you fuck her?

Did you fuck Lieutenant Hora? You do the math. No. I don't talk about my women prior to marriage. He's classy. Yeah, I'm classy, but i loved her i still do she's

still around and you worked with her uh yeah i worked with her recently on some movie she's very sweet very sweet well what happened was in 1959 there was a club called johnny walsh's 881 Club. And it was owned by this gay guy named Johnny Walsh. And the main floor was, it was sort of funny. The main floor was straight and the bar was completely gay. And they'd have glass dividing the, and if some good looking guy was on stage, you would all fog up because these guys were, hmm, I'd like to get that. Anyway, so they hired Nichelle.

She was called Nichelle Johnson, I think, then, and very attractive. Still is at her age. And so when it was over, not the engagement, but we were there a week, and she said, Ronnie, you know I know you work the Hungry Eye do you possibly have any connection with Enrico Paducci the owner and my eyes lit up and she said oh yeah I do

could you possibly get me an engagement with I said yes but in the meantime why don't we go out so that's how I went out with her a couple of times and i'm a gentleman so i don't speak but she was a lovely lady and a good singer yes good singer and accomplished singer the last time i saw her i i was working at harrah's up in lake tahoe and she was in the lounge singing this is about 30 years ago and i'm crossing the street i'll neveroe, and she was in the lounge singing. This was about 30 years ago. And I'm crossing the street.

I'll never forget that. And she comes across the street with this huge African-American who turned out to be her husband at the time. And as she came toward me, she said, Ronnie! And she ran up and grabbed me. And that was the last time I actually saw her. But I know she and I had a good relationship. I liked her. When I worked with her, she gave me a kiss on the lips.

That's nice. Yeah. Yeah. That's nice. Did you fuck her? Did you fuck her? No, I fucked William Shatner, though. Walter Koenig.

With or without the wig. Walter Koenig. With or without the wig. Would you like to repeat the Pat McCormick story? Which one? Well, I was hoping you'd have another Pat McCormick story, Ron. Other than the helicopter story. Well, do you know the story?

We were doing a commercial together. I worked with him a lot. Yeah. And we were doing a commercial up in Hollywood, awood uh a radio commercial and at lunchtime maybe i told you this it's not that much but we we were sitting there he was he had no whams about he'd go into a waitress and can i help you yes um i'd like a uh fuck me tuna sandwich, and I'd like to eat you. And the waitresses would go, did he say whatever? But that was one of his things he used to do. But so we finished, and we went to lunch in this restaurant,

and the only other people in the restaurant were three elderly, elderly, two, two women and a man. And they had to be in their nineties. We're sitting there. And finally, after no prompting at all,

he got up, went over their table and said, for Christ's sakes, try to look better. For Christ's sakes, try to look better. There's a guy that we wish we'd gotten on this show. Oh, God, yes. So many guests have come on and told Pat McCormick stories.

Now, the last time you were on with us, Ron, and we'll wrap it up. Oh, did I tell you about Jonathan Winters visiting him? No. Oh, was that when he was sharing a room with Stanley Kramer? Yeah. Yeah. That's a good story. He walked out and said, no, this may be a wrong time, but here's my picture and bio. Can you use it? And Jonathan Winters,

because he couldn't talk for seven years. Seven years he was like that. Pat. Pat. Yeah. And so we used to visit him all the time. And so Jonathan Winters walked up, sat next to him and said,

this may be the bad time to ask you, but I could use $1,500. Can you loan it to me? I don't know if he loaned it or not. Last time you were here, you said you were going to tell us about Aunt Bea next time. You were going to tell us about Francis Bavier. Did you have something? Look on his face. Why don't we save that for my third appearance okay because she and and he was she and andy griffith hated each other she was a tough how'd you know that how'd you know that

yeah yeah she that's true you don't have to tell us. I'll tell you next time. I'll tell you who was one of my best friends toward the last. It was Don Knotts. Uh-huh. Man, he was so fun. Well, you saw Barney Fife. Nobody did a character like him. Loved him. But offstage, not funny and didn't try to be.

He had an opening act. He had an opening. Well, I'll tell you this. We used to get together, this group of comedians, once a month. And he would come and he had a very short sketch that he did. One of the emcees or Sam Denhoff or Howie Storm or somebody would get up and say, we have with us a noted sexologist, expert on sexual intercourse and various unsundries, Dr. Don Knotts. Let's have a hand for him. Don will ascend up after the applause and say, thank you. I like a red bush and I'll tell you why. And you sit down. But he could just keep doing it

every time. I like a red bush and I'll tell you why. We could go on, Ron. Well, we will. I haven't told you a lot of stories because I want to save it for my third appearance. Okay. We got lots of names. Wow.

Okay. Give me one more name and I'll see if I can. Let's see. Either Alan Melvin or Dom DeLuise. I did his show. Lots of luck. Lots of luck. Yeah.

Bill Persky. Bill Persky and Sam Denhoff. That's correct. They produced a lot of shows that I did. And Persky's still alive. He lives there in New York. We just had him on the show a couple of times. We just had him.

He has an office and doesn't do anything. Did he tell you that? We'll tell him you said that. He has a beautiful office. Huh? Did he say that? He has a beautiful office with secretaries and everything. And I said, what did you do here? He said nothing. He didn't tell say that? It's a beautiful office with secretaries and everything. And I said, what did you do here?

He said nothing. He didn't tell you that? Well, yeah, I've been to that office. Did you find out what he did for a living? He married very good, though. Yes, he did. Yes, he did. Joanna's lovely.

Oh, is she? Yeah, I never met her. Very sweet. Very lovely. I met the other five wives. But no, I'm kidding. Joanna's lovely. Oh, is she? Yeah. I never met her. Very sweet. Very lovely. I met the other five wives. But no, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I'm kidding, Bill, if you're listening. Okay. Now, in closing. All right. What? Go ahead. In closing, I'd like to know when this is going to be on because I missed it last time. Well, we'll send it to you.

We'll send you the link for the old one. But how about this one? Well, a couple of weeks. It's not live now? No, sir. I'm wasting my time for this. How about McLean-Stevenson? As long as I've got names on a card here.

I love McLean. I had a good story about McLean. I'm not going to tell it now. McLean was very, very funny. In fact, I think I have a story about everybody that you... I got names

all day here. Name me two more. Dick Van Patten and Vic Tabak. Well, Vic Tabak, I did Alice. You also did Shaggy D.A. with him. Oh, yeah, that's right. Anyway, he was a good guy.

And what was the other one? What was the other guy? Dick Van Patten. Oh, Dickie I knew for years. Dickie was a very, very, very funny guy. He was a gambler. Did you know that? I did not.

Yeah. Big at the racetrack. He, Don Adams, and what's his name still goes to the racetrack every week? Mel Brooks. Mm-hmm. I know Dick Van Patten would always pop up in Mel Brooks

movies. Oh, sure. He's in Lang's Eye. Yeah, they were close. And he has a sister who is a sensational actress. Oh, Joyce Van Patten. Joyce Van Patten. She's still with us? Yes. Oh, we should have her. You should have her because she's great.

Be sure to mention that I said that. You remember Joyce Van Patten? Oh, yes. She worked a lot. We'll look for her. You know what? She was in Peter Sellers' movie. Okay, I can't remember.

Peter Sellers movie, but she was great. She did a lot of stuff. What about Larry Hovis before we go out? Larry Hovis and I worked together at the Horn in Santa Monica. I got about five minutes of his material, and I let him have the rest. That's his material. And I let him have the rest. And he was from Houston.

Houston. And he was Indian. Did you know that? No. We didn't know Jesse White had a glass eye, for that matter. Well, don't tell him. Oh, no. He's gone, isn't he?

He said, I'll keep an eye out for you. No. Anyway, well, we'll talk about someone else later. Okay. We'll hang on to those. Yeah. And what was Duke Slater's real name? Gilbert Slater. Correct.

There you go. Oh, wow. I found that in my research. But you didn't know this. Yeah. research and but you didn't know this yeah gilbert slater was actually an african-american uh athlete in at uh drake drake university oh i didn't know that during during world uh not world war ii but early early on and just a little bit of how's jim doing do you stay in touch at all i know he's in hawai these days. He's counting his money. Yeah.

He's worth $40 million. God bless him. Now, he has a macadamia farm. He has the largest macadamia nut farm in Hawaii, probably the world. And recently, he sold the farm to the state of Hawaii. And he gets to live there until he passes on, and then they're going to make it a state park. Wow.

You talk to him? Yeah, about twice a year. Would he do this show, Ron? From Hawaii? Yeah. I think he would. Would he? Yeah.

Okay. I'm not going to give you his phone number. I can't blame you. No, but if you can get in touch with him, he'll do it. Okay. I know it. If he doesn't have to go anywhere. Okay.

You know? And we'll give your love to Persky. Yeah, please. I've worked with him many, many times. He used to do a bit with me I'm not going to do it now because it's too late and I'm tired of this he would say

I'm casting a Japanese guy are you interested? oh yeah but he has an Italian accent oh hey come on and he would go down the list of all the people that he would do ask him about it But he has an Italian accent. Hey, come on.

And he would go down the list of all the people that he would ask him about it. I will. I will for sure. All right. We'll let this man get. Okay. Do you guys validate, by the way? Yes.

Yes, we do. You check with Ryan. Okay. I'm Gilbert Gottfried. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host Frank Santopadre and a guest who has a million great stories, but he won't fucking tell one of them. He's saving them all for the next show. That's right. Ronnie Shell. Will you guys be sure and tell me when this is going to be? Absolutely. I'll tell all my friend.

Friends. Excuse me. Did you listen back to the first one? No, I haven't. I didn't know when it was going to be on. We'll send you the links to this one and to the first one and you can listen to them both. Which one was better, this one or the last one? They were both different in their way.

Well, fuck you guys. How's that? I'm kidding. I want to hear the Francis Bavier story. Next time. Ron, you're the best. Thank you for taking the time. By the way, will this be on within a week?

Not likely. Oh, because I'm doing a show in Danville, Indiana on the 18th, 19th, and 20th. I'll tell you what. We'll post on social media that we talked to you, and we'll plug your show. Yeah. It's called Mayberry Reunion. Okay. Because I'm one of the only guys left alive who doesn't act.

So all the people that have done the Andy Griffith show. On the Andy Griffith show. Yeah. And did two episodes. Aunt Bea is doing a commercial. And you're the head of the ad agency. Of course. Very good.

I can't remember the name of the product, but she couldn't do it. Remember? She couldn't do it? Oh, yeah. By the way, I haven't heard from Ron Howard in 30 years. Okay, so let me make a note of this. You want to hear from Ron Howard and Barry Levinson. Well, Barry Levinson I want to hear from Ron Howard and Barry Levinson.

Well, Barry Levinson I never knew, but Ron Howard, when he was a little guy, we were on the same lot, Andy and Gomer, and I was the only one that would play catch with him. Wow. Do you think it helped? Do you think it helped me? Little picture. Thanks, Rob. All right.

I'll let you guys go. You're the best. Thank you. Thank you. Get in the winner's circle with Good Morning World. Tuesday night, this fall on CBS. Walk away happy. Yes, happy is the word for the comedy team of Lewis and Clark.

This is David Lewis and Larry Clark. A pair of DJs who explore the comic possibilities of every situation. I run this station like I ran my ship aground. Lewis and Clark show. Dave, you better handle this one. She's a nut. I'm on this one. All right, it's your wife. Listen, Linda.

That's Linda, who slaves over a hot stove, while breadwinner Dave slaves over a hot microphone. But bachelor Larry Clark is just a slave to love. Tuesday nights this fall, greet the new season with Good Morning World. Joining the CBS color lineup of Doc Terry, Red Skelton, Good Morning World, and the CBS NewsHour. Gilbert Gottfried's amazing, colossal podcast is produced by Dara Gottfried and Frank Santapadre,

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