Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast - Weird Al Yankovic

Episode Date: June 21, 2021

Comedian, musician and multiple Grammy winner "Weird Al" Yankovic returns to the show to talk to Gilbert and Frank about the influence of Mad magazine, the golden age of Top 40 radio, the reclusiveness of Tom Lehrer, the cultural importance of "Word Crimes" and the mystifying longevity of "The Joe Franklin Show." Also, Little Richard buys a vowel, Al and Coolio bury the hatchet, Jerry Lewis tries to take over "Comic Relief" and Charles Nelson Reilly makes "sweet, sweet love" to a manatee. PLUS: Pat Boone! "The Rutles"! Remembering Frank Jacobs! The wit and wisdom of Shel Silverstein! The rise and fall of Allan Sherman! And Al narrates the Tiny Tim documentary! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, and this is Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. Our special guest this week is making a return visit to the show. He was on one of our early episodes way back in 2014, but his career didn't suffer quite enough from that first appearance, so he's back to give it another shot. He's a comedian, musician, singer-songwriter, record producer, occasional actor, and voice artist, a New York Times best-selling author, the most successful best-selling comedy recording artist in history. This man has sold over 12 million albums, recorded more than 150 parody songs and original songs, and performed more than 1,000 live shows. And his work has earned him five Grammy Awards

and millions of loyal fans all over the globe. His 2014 album, Mandatory Fun, became the first comedy album to debut at number one on the Billboard Top 200 chart. And on the single War Cr 200 chart and on the single war crimes war crimes war crimes walk well he's a nazi that's one thing i've known about him weird al is is a nazi yeah and that's nothing that's nothing for us to put him down about. No.

Okay. Oh, God. Okay. He's guilty of war crimes. But you gotta consider he was taking orders. And if you look on the History Channel, you will see

Weird Al marching. Why don't we take it back to word crimes, Gil? Which we'll talk about. And the single word crimes

There you go. debuted. But I still say he's a Nazi. That's not to be argued with here. And it debuted in the Billboard Top 40, making him, along with Madonna, Michael Jackson, and U2, one of only four artists to have had Top 40 singles in each of the last four decades.

You've also seen him in popular movies like the Naked Gun Trilogy, Spy Hard, Bill and Ted Face the Music, and the cult classic UHF, and on hit series like The Simpsons, Dirty Rock, The Goldbergs, BoJack Horseman, and How I Met Your Mother, An American Dad, as well as the ingenious but cancelled Saturday morning series

The Weird Al Show, which guest starred some guy named Gilbert Gott. But wait, there's more. He's also the author of two best-selling children's books, as well as the co-author, along with our friend Nathan Rabin, of a terrific illustrated book about his life and career called Weird Al the Book. Catchy title. And in 2018, he received a well-deserved star in the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Frank and I are excited to welcome back to the show one of the most accomplished satirists and one of the most beloved entertainers of the century a man who says that when he's on his deathbed and looking back on his life he'll probably wish he tweeted more the great weird al yankovic. I can't believe you memorized that whole thing. You really did your research, Gilbert. That was amazing. It's all his research is impressive. Off the top of your head.

That's crazy. It goes deep. So, should I call you hair Weird Al? Because of my copious amount of hair? Yes, by all means. Yeah, from word crimes to war crimes may be Gilbert's biggest gaffe in an introduction we've had.

I don't like to talk about my war crimes. That's kind of water under the bridge for me. Yeah, so, but basically, do you still keep in touch with Hitler? We've had a falling out. Did you ever think of moving to Argentina and joining all your friends? I own property there, but I've never actually moved there, no. Al, welcome back.

It's been seven years. Seven years. Since you took your last bout of abuse. Oh, God. We had just started this show. Are we finishing it now? Yeah, this is it. Yeah, bitch. This sadly is it.

The Alpha and the Omega. Swan song. It was 2014. Mandatory Fun had just come out. You were the biggest thing in the country. You decided to torpedo your career by coming on this podcast. I figured I was getting too big.

I have to go on Gilbert's podcast. Put me in my place. Welcome back seven years later. Thank you, thank you. So let me get one thing straight. You do song parodies, right? Yeah. And you're the guy that squints

and talks in a loud, annoying voice, right? Yes. Yes. Okay, we're cool then. We're cool. Well, as long as we straighten it out. Now we know who we are. Yes.

Let's talk about blurred lines. Okay. Or not war crimes, but let's talk about word crimes. All right, let's. Because Gilbert and I were on the phone before talking, and you know, he takes no interest at all in the, in the, uh, in the guest career. So this is a first too. He got on the phone and he said to me, I really love that word crimes and we got into it. And it's, it's a, it's a brilliant piece of work. The video too. I mean, it's the perfect marriage of video and, and, and song and lyric. Well, for the video, I have to give all credit to Jarrett Heather.

He was the genius that did all that all by himself. I found him online. I saw some of his other work and I tracked him down and I said, would you like to make my next video? And he accepted immediately. And he spent like 500 hours, just him and his laptop doing that. What is it called? Kinetic typography or something like that.

It's impressive. Great work. Say his name again so we can give him due credit. Jared Heather. Jared Heather. It's very, very good. And you're a big George Carlin fan. And that song sounded like the kind of thing George Carlin makes fun of, too.

I had the same thought. Yeah, pretty much. I was trying to channel george there and in fact i i uh i went and i i went to his estate and i tried to find some unpublished george carlin material and basically i just ripped him off yeah and and there are two things in there that annoy the shit out of me and i'm'm so glad they were in that. Yeah. And when I share, well,

one, uh, both Frank and I are annoyed at, and that's, uh, literally like I literally hit the ceiling. Right. Yeah. The abuse of that word and the,

and the, the, the mistaking literally for figuratively. And, and now I, I think the dictionary or Merriam-Webster, somebody is trying to make literally into figuratively. It's depressing.

Because of common usage, they're saying like, well, literally could mean figuratively. No, no, it can't. I refuse to accept that. It's depressing. Yeah, it's like when people say, I literally exploded. And I'll go, no, you didn't actually explode. Right.

And the other thing that annoys me so much is when people say, oh, God, what was the, I could care less. Uh-huh. Because it's, I couldn't care less. That means you hit rock bottom as far as caring. I like to think that people that say I could care less are saying it sort of ironically. You know, like, I could care less. But if you're being literal about it, it should be I couldn't care less. Is it the only hit song in history about grammar?

Al, it may be. I can't. I can't. I mean, we can talk about Schoolhouse Rock, but those weren't songs we charted. I think Brown Sugar by the Rolling Stones. Yeah, that one. That one. And Whip It. And Whip It.

And Word Crimes. Those are three. A nice little jab at Prince in that one, too. In Word Crimes. We got to get one thing out of the way. Where you got the name Weird Al? Well, this is an interesting story. Al is actually short for Alfred.

Okay. There you go, Gal. Well, that's it. Well, now I could go home. Where are you right now? By the way, Gilbert brings up George Carlin, who you were an enormous fan of as a kid. Sure. And the story goes, what, was it takeoffs and put-ons or Class Clown?

It was an album that you completely transcribed? It was FM and AM. FM and AM. First album that I had my parents buy for me. And I transcribed, I think, the whole album on a little manual typewriter. They didn't have lyric sheets with comedy albums. Incredible. One time I was on a plane and I saw George Carlin sitting there and I was excited to

be on the same flight with him. And I sat down and then I see him. He stands up. He looks at me and walks over to me and I'm so excited. And he says, look, I i gotta read some stuff and write a few things uh and then i'm gonna take a nap so i can't talk to you and he went back to so he he went out of his way to tell me to go fuck myself oh that george that was nice he did at the near the end of the flight he came over to

me with a little piece of paper with his number on it and he said to me uh next time you're appearing on tv please let me know i want to see what's going on in that mind of yours. And you never called him. You never reached out. No, never. Of course. Never called him. I also had Jonathan Winter's number. Never called him.

Will you join me in shaming him for this behavior? You're just reminding me of how I behave on airplanes, because anytime I take a flight anywhere, I will go to every single person on the airplane and say, no autographs! No autographs! I look them dead in the eye. On the Carlin subject, too, I have to bring up another song of yours that reminded me of a Carlin routine. Is it Mission Statement? The Crosby, Stills, and Nash?

Right, right. Pastiche? Mission Statement, the Crosby, Stills, and Nash pastiche. Also about words, about nonsense words, useless words. Something that was a bugaboo for George. Yeah, so that song was all the buzzwords, all the doublespeak and the ridiculous things that just get thrown around in corporate meetings that make your eyes glaze over.

You know, synergy and the paradigm shifts and things like that, which I just wanted to write a song just using all those words in a way that it kind of makes sense, but not really, and then do it to a music that sort of is the antithesis of it, like the 60s kind of anti-corporate movement. It's great. I urge our listeners to find that one. And I never do this. We never get to listener questions this early in the show. But because we're talking about word crimes, and I love this question we got from a listener on Patreon.

This is from Carla Haler, and she says, she's a teacher, believe it or not. She says, new students to our school often say, hey, have you ever heard of a guy named Weird Al? not. She says, new students to our school often say, hey, have you ever heard of a guy named Weird Al? Using word crimes to introduce grammar was truly a gift for classrooms like mine and makes a tedious subject a lot more fun. I added weasel stomping day to my holiday mix a couple of years back, and my students found that disturbing, but they love it, and a couple of them came to school with Viking helmets on. so this fifth grader this fifth grade teacher thanks you from the bottom of her heart keep up the good work oh that's so cool to hear every now and then on my twitter feed i'll see people saying my teacher is playing weird

alan class kill me now i love that did you hear from teachers though when educators after after word crimes i did a lot a lot of people say they made it part of their curriculum, which was a really cool thing. Okay, now here's the deal. I'll try to educate you. Gonna familiarize you with the nomenclature. You'll learn the definitions of nouns and prepositions.

Letter of seizure mission. And that's why I think it's a good time to learn some grammar. Now did I stammermer Work on that grammar You should know it It's less or it's fewer Like people who were

Never raised in a super I hate these word crimes Like I could care less That means you do care At least a little Don't be a moron Hey, you better slow down now now you go out of your way to uh get permission from uh singers before you yeah from the original songwriter sure and legally And legally, I don't necessarily have to, but it's just been my policy not to step on people's toes and make sure they're cool with it. And I respect other artists, and I just want to make sure that

they can take a joke. And if they're offended by it, I'll just walk away. Which leads me to a question about Charles Nelson Reilly, because CNR is one of my favorite. I sent it to Gilbert. We couldn't get over it. What was the story of that? You called and asked for a blessing? Yes. Charles Nelson Riley had, of course, passed by the time I wrote the song. I met Charles Nelson Riley at an airport, at my airport terminal once a long time ago.

And he followed me on The Tonight Show back in 1985. But, yeah, when we were getting permission for the song, I figured, well, I definitely don't want to do the song unless I have the blessing of his estate. And so I talked to Charles Nelson Reilly's longtime partner and said, I want to do the song about Charles Nelson Reilly. Is that okay with you? And he was a little hesitant and he said, well, you know, Charles didn't like when Adam Baldwinwin did him on saturday night live oh alec baldwin you alex sorry alec baldwin and made him made him sound um like like a sissy you know and and and so he said like you can do the song but just don't make him don't make him sound like a sissy and i said no no problem at all we're not going that direction he's going to be

like you know uh chuck norris he's going to be like Chuck Norris. He's going to be like the complete opposite. Rips your heart out through your chest and shows it to you. Right. Brilliant. Did you get feedback after that? Once the family or the estate saw the result? I didn't. But if you ever have them on your show, please ask. I'd love to know. He did an interesting one-man show in LA, Charles Nelson Reilly, which I got to see. I saw the movie. It was fascinating. Amazing.

He really did, in fact, have an amazing life. Yeah, he truly did. You were trying to get permission from Izzy Azalea. Izzy Azalea? Who's Izzy Azalea? Is she a war criminal? Yes, yes. She was...

Iggy, I think, right? Iggy Azalea. Iggy. Yes. Von Azalea. Famous war criminal. Singing. She was a singing war criminal.

Oh, God. And her PR people were getting in your way at every chance. Oh, yeah. It was a nightmare. I was trying to get permission for her song, Fancy, which my song was handy about being a handyman. And it was the last song I'd written for the Mandatory Fun album. And we were getting down to the deadline. Like, if I don't record the song by a certain date, about being a handyman and it was the last song i'd written for the mandatory fun album and we were getting down to the deadline like if i don't record the song by a certain date it's going to

blow the whole album release we have all these interviews set up i mean it would just completely uh ruin the schedule and and nobody was returning their phone calls people weren't dealing with it uh and finally i just i stalked her basically I tracked her down. I saw that she was doing a concert, I think, in Denver, Colorado. So I bought plane tickets. I flew out to Denver. I went to her show. I hung out backstage. And I was like, I talked to her road managers.

I kind of talked to Iggy Azalea. And I want to find out if she'll let me do the song. And they said, no, she's, you know, she's really busy. She'll be in London next month. You could see her in London. Like, no, she's really busy. She'll be in London next month. You could see her in London. Like, no, I'm here. It'll take 30 seconds. I'd really love to talk to her.

And they said, no, I'm sorry. We can't let you do that. So I thought, OK, well, the album's not coming out. That's it. I'm done. And I just thought, you know, YOLO, as the kids say. And so I hung out in the wings of her show watching her do this big amazing outdoor concert and literally literally as she was walking off the stage before she even got backstage i

jumped in her face and said iggy hi it's weird i'll yank of a k i want to do a parody of your song and i just want to know if it's okay with you and she looked at me like a deer in headlights which is the normal response and and she said uh well i i would i would need to see the lyrics and i said i just happen to have them right here and i pulled them out of my pocket and she looks at them and by now a crowd is gathering so there's witnesses and i think there was even a tmz camera involved and she said uh she looks fine to me. And I said, thank you very much. And I got back on a plane and went back to LA and finished them.

Wow. Wow. Did Izzy have a reaction? Izzy? Izzy? Izzy? I'm not getting from Izzy at all. Perhaps it's for Izzy.

Did Tom and Don Dizzy have that reaction? Those were the old days, Gilbert. You've said, you're on the record as saying it's no fun for you. You don't actually have to go to all this trouble, but you don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. It's more fun and more gratifying for you if they're in on the joke. Yeah, absolutely. You want it to be kind of a group experience in that way.

Yeah, I'm really not trying to make fun of anybody per se. I'm not trying to make them look bad, certainly. And yeah, it's better for me if the artists get a kick out of it as well. Right. That's one of your rules of parody writing, right? To tickle the ribs, no punch in the face. There you go. Yeah.

Yeah. And who were some of your earliest influences as far as song parodies went? Oh, well, we're talking about people i heard on the dr mano show and before that like alan sherman stan freeberg uh tom larer spike jones people like that and you could go on shell silverstein absolutely talk about him a lot on this show now alan sherman uh he he had a strange life i think after. What was happening with Alan Sherman? I read his biography. He had an interesting and strange and ultimately very sad life.

He was the last person before me to have a number one comedy album. That was in the early 60s. And in fact, he had three number one albums. I mean, not comedy albums, three on the Billboard charts, number one albums all within the span of like 18 months so he was huge he was people forget how big he was huge he was selling out the hollywood bowl uh they say jfk was singing his lyrics in the white i bet i bet and i remember like at at that weird time period when you'd have the beat and Bing Crosby all mixed together in the top.

Right. It would be like you'd hear Bob Dylan and then after you'd hear Hello Mother, Hello Father. Which I miss that about Top 40 radio because Top 40 from like all genres. Yes. And now everything is just so everybody listens to their own like subgenre and that's all they listen to. And I think I wish people, you know, I think that's what's wrong with our country, is we need to bring back top 40 radio so people can be exposed to more culture. Used to be able to hear David Bowie and then Dickie Goodman.

There you go, absolutely. On WABC in New York, on the same station. So what actually happened with Alan Sherman toward the end? Oh, it was sad. happened with Alan Sherman toward the end? He, oh, it was sad. He, um, he started, well, I mean, his personal life took a real, uh, uh, down a nosedive. Uh, he, he basically lost his family. Uh, he stopped being popular. He, he, uh, he started just repeating his material to the point where Johnny Carson was like, really, this bit again? And I forget if drugs or pills entered into it,

but certainly he had a problem with eating his pain as well. But he just didn't handle success very well. And within a couple of years of being the biggest thing in the country, he just had completely lost everything. Him and Vaughn Meter together. Yeah, that's another good example. Yeah, they're similar stories. A little bit quicker with Vaughn probably. A little quicker.

Yeah, yeah. Vaughn Meter, at least you could pinpoint what killed his career. Talk about your process, Al, which you've talked about a lot, but I found this very interesting. You're talking about the zombie stage that you go into when you're,

and your wife is dealing with, what did you the thousand mile stare yeah a painstaking process for you will take you weeks and weeks and weeks to put something together i heard you say a thousand possibilities or a hundred possibilities when you when you sit down you narrow it down to one it's just where i'm so focused on one thing that I kind of blank out the rest of the world. And in terms of creating, I'm more of a fan of Tesla than Edison, but my approach is more like Edison's because Tesla would be like, let me figure out what would be the best thing to do and then do that. And Edison would be like, let me try 20,000 different options for a filament for a light bulb and see which one works. And I tend to like investigate every single possible option and then just kind of whittle it down until I've got like the one that I think is the best way to go.

Because with White Nerdy, I heard you say you had enough material for a whole other song. Oh, several songs probably. Several songs. I'd like to think that the released version is the best version of all of them. But I mean, I didn't have any, I didn't spent my entire life doing research for that song. So I had a lot to draw from. And Madonna once gave you a piece of advice. She did?

What did she say? Yeah. Oh, she gave him a song idea. Oh, right. Yeah. So as legend would have it, and I believe this is true, Madonna was talking to a friend of hers in New York City. One day, they were just walking down the street and somehow my name came up and Madonna just

offhandedly said, I wonder when Weird Al's going to do like a surgeon. And her friend happened to know a friend of my manager and the old telephone game got back to me finally. And I was like, well, not a bad idea. OK, thanks, Madonna. I think I will. What did I hear you say, too, that. Oh, and this was interesting, by the way. Two guests that we've had on this show you reached out to to do parodies, Jimmy Webb and Tommy James. Absolutely, yeah. Tell us about them.

We love two guys with great senses of humor, so I assume they were on board from the beginning. Tommy James, I actually, oddly enough, I did two different Tommy James songs on the same album. I did a parody of Money songs on the same album. I did a parody of Money Money called Alimony. I did a parody of I Think We're Alone called I Think I'm a Clone Now.

He had two huge cover versions of those songs hitting in the late 80s. Then Jimmy Webb, I did a parody of a MacArthur park called Jurassic Park. Jimmy got a big kick out of that. He sent me a big rubber dinosaur mask as a way of thanks. Oh, that's great. And once he played L.A., he did a big show, I think it was at the Roxy, and we did a bit where he started to play MacArthur Park on the piano, and he gives the first line. He goes, ah, I, you know, I can't, I keep forgetting the words that Al, can you help me out here? And then he, he brings me out and I sing,

uh, Jurassic Park with him and the band, which was really, and the audience. So he was, he was on board for the whole thing. Totally. Yeah. He was great about it. Absolutely. Gilbert sang MacArthur Park with Jimmy on this very podcast. Really? The whole thing? We will send you a copy. No, he would only, he was only game for one verse with Gilbert. Wow. But we will send you a copy no he would only he was only game for one verse with gilbert wow but we'll send it and but i'm still pissed off at jimmy webb because he he was in va they offered him a job in vegas after macarthur park to just play the piano and just play MacArthur Park. You don't have to sing it.

Like in the lobby? I think it was more than one song they won. I think they were going to give him like $40,000 a night and he turned it down. So I'm pissed off. Jimmy, if you're listening, I'm still pissed off. Would you do that? Would you sing MacArthur Park every night?

I'd sing MacArthur Park every night, and I'd blow the manager of the casino. For 40 grand? Yeah. It's a cheap price tag. Much less than that. It leads me to a question, Al. Do you have an urge, in a case like that, to actually contact the artist and preview the song for them?

Do you wait? You know, I've got to contact Elvis Costello and play the, what is it, I'm So Sick of You. Or do you make them wait until the record comes out? Well, you just mentioned one of my pastiches or style parodies. I don't actually get permission for those. Maybe I should, but I cross my fingers that the artist will have a good sense of humor and realize it's a tribute because I only do those kind of pastiches for artists and

groups that I really love. In terms of the song parodies, I don't write the whole song before approaching the artist because on the off chance they say no, that's a whole lot of wasted effort. So basically, I'll come up with my idea. I'll come up with an idea and think, I could definitely write a song with this concept. I think it'll be funny. And if the artist is down with it, then i will spend the time and effort and and make it happen but i that happened a couple times in the past where i was burned uh by like

writing the whole thing they go yeah i'm not a parody person really live and learn and and it's it's interesting how you say you don't want to really hurt people or insult them because it's like Jeff Ross says about the celebrity roast. We only roast the ones we love. Is that true, though? I don't know. No, but it sounds like showbiz bullshit. Yeah, it's a great quote. That's all I care about.

I know all the communities made fun of Trump because they love Trump, really. Can't get enough of him. So, I mean, but is it extra gratifying or extra satisfying when you do get that feedback from the artist? Of course. Because obviously it's become, you've been around so long, it's become a badge of honor to be parodied by Weird Al. Yeah, I've heard, not in every case, but I've heard from a lot of honor to be parodied by Weird Al. Yeah, I've heard, not in every case, but I've heard from a lot of artists that really

enjoyed, the famous example that I always give is Chameleon Air, I did a parody of his song Riding, which is white and nerdy, and he came up to me at the Grammys on the red carpet one year when we were both nominated for whatever, and he had just won for Rap Song of the Year for Ryden.

And he made a point of coming up to me and saying, you know, I want to thank you because I think that your parody made it undeniable that my song was the Rap Song of the Year. He didn't have to do that. That was amazing, yeah. Wow. Nice compliment. So it's nice when it works out that way. Yeah.

Do you feel a lot of singers uh their albums get better like get more successful after you do a parody in every case michael jackson was nothing before me talk talk about michael jackson you've told the story many... Well, I know you've retired the Michael Jackson... Have you... Is it... You've retired the Michael Jackson material from the live performances? I don't know.

I did. I retired it on the last tour because Michael had been controversial. And also, you know, I figured I've been playing those songs for 30 years. I wanted to give it a rest. And the entire Michael Jackson fan base like went nuts.

And they thought I was being, you know, disrespectful or unappreciative or whatever. And I totally appreciate everything Michael ever did for me. I mean, I would have probably a much different life, you know, had things gone the other way. So I'm not saying it's a forever thing. I just thought that like, you know, last tour, I wanted to give it a rest. And it was a little bit of a hot button topic. And I just didn't want anybody to feel uncomfortable. Understood. Will you at least tell Gilbert about working with the chimp and the complete owl?

Because that's a passion topic on this show. Yes. Do you know why chimps are so important that I talk about it so much? In Sunset Boulevard, it starts off with a funeral for her chimp. And Wilder said to her, he goes, now remember, you were fucking the chimp. And there's a rumor that rich women in Hollywood would buy chimps and train them to perform cunnilingus on them. How do you train somebody to do that? Do not steal this idea for a song.

No. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast after this. Let's pivot and ask about working with Jerry Lewis on the Jerry Lewis telethon in 1992. This is, by the way, is one of those Eddie Schmidt questions. Right. So thank you, Eddie. Our mutual friend Eddie Schmidt came at me with all kinds of weird Al questions, and that was one of them.

You did a medley. I know it's a million years ago, 1992. Yeah, I did whatever the Polka medley was at the time. I forget which one that would have been. And it was early. It was, I don't know when, but like 6, 7 o'clock in the morning, which for rock and roll hours, that's the middle of the night. And we performed on this show. I think Jerry introduced us, but we never had any actual interaction beyond that.

Oh, you dodged the bullet. Well, yeah. And the first time I was on the same show with Jerry was Comic Relief, which was 1986. Were you at that one, Gilbert, the first one? No. 1986. Were you at that one, Gilbert, the first one? No. Yeah, that was not well managed in that it was basically, they had booked nine hours worth of a show for a two-hour live show. It was just like, I don't know what they were thinking, but it was just crazy, and it just kind of imploded, but I just remember during the soundcheck, it was time for Jerry to sound check, and he walked out on stage.

It's just a sound check, and he's walking out on stage like he's expecting a standing ovation, and he gets up to the mic, and I know this is a podcast and you can't see this, but he's giving everybody direction, like, okay, I want this shot here. Not here. Not here. Here. He just, like, He starts directing the show.

It's like there's 100 acts, and all of a sudden it's like the Jerry Lewis show. He's like, this is how it's going to go, people. This is how it's going to go. I love it. What about Robert Goulet? Because this podcast is a tribute to performers who are no longer with us in many ways. We love to talk about the old school guys. Robert Goulet, you put him through the Monty Python paces.

You cut off his hands. We had the piano cover come off. You don't love me anymore? Literally cut off his hands. He struck me as a guy, Gilbert. Don't you think that had a sense of humor? Yes. Robert Goulet.

Yeah. He would have been like the perfect guest. Great for this show. Yeah. Yeah. He was great in the video. I mean, he was in, I think, the second Naked Gun movie. So, I mean, he had comedy chops.

He had a great sense of humor. And he's one of those guys that just had such kind of a serious, straight-laced persona that when he played against that, it made it extra funny. That's sort of the whole Leslie Nielsen school comedy. And we stayed in contact. I got a Christmas card from Robert Goulet. Oh, that's cool. Every single year of his life. And I had a full collection. I think I spread them all out on the floor once and took a picture of it for Instagram once. I said, yes, you're cool, but are you getting, get a Christmas card from Robert Goulet every year? Cool. I love that. That's cool. What about, uh, what about Joe Franklin who also did this show? You serenaded him. Yeah. Yeah. Way back

in, way back in the eighties. I know I'm taking you back with this stuff. Yeah. I didn't grow up grow up in, on, grow up on the East Coast, but my manager was a big fan of Joe Franklin. And he insisted early on, you got to go on the Joe Franklin show. And it was, I forget how many times I was on this show, but it was always just so surrealistic. And then one time we came on, me with my band, and we did this song about Joe Franklin, which was really really dumb but we did it like like a doo-wop thing in four-part harmony joe franklin joe franklin it's on youtube yeah it's on youtube look it up i have to sing it now find it but but it was just uh and joe listened

to it not really understanding what he was hearing and you hear the crew in the background just just laughing their heads off and and joe, the show, I mean, it started like 3 o'clock in the morning. It was very easy. I don't think it was live, though. No. There would be a whole collage of photos in the beginning where it would be like, you know, him with Clark Gable and Al Jolson. They're all photoshopped. yes when the show started it would be like you know some local lounge singer in a hotel we've got the third grade spelling bee winner from williamsport yes and they try to combine it. They'd have like a house painter and a singer.

And they'd say, so if you were going to sing and you needed your house painted, you could probably. Yeah, he'd try to make segues. That's what you call synergy. You know, like, so Kenny G, you ever try a house painting? He was on this show right around the time you were in 2014. Yeah, Gilbert and I had a strange experience. We went to his office, which was a disaster. It was like the Collier Brothers.

Oh, my goodness. It's crazy, right? And he offered us an egg salad sandwich from the desk drawer. Very disturbing. Oh, my. But we loved him. And it's like, I always wondered what became, there must have been a few trillion dollars worth of stuff there.

Yeah, no one knows. In the office, yeah. It's like the Raiders of the Lost Ark archive. Yes. What about Dick Sean, as long as I'm rolling out? All of these clips are online, by the way. archive. Yes. What about Dick? What about Dick Shawn? As long as I'm rolling out and all of these clips are online, by the way, you and Malcolm McDowell and Joe Franklin. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. Dick Shawn. I worked with him, I think it was in 1986 on Amazing Stories,

the Steven Spielberg show. And that was one of my very first acting roles. Maybe maybe my my first real one where it wasn't like, you know, a Weird Al production. And I was just kind of nervous because I'd never like, you know, really acted with like real actors and like hitting my mark and like, you know, being in a scene like that. And I just remember kind of being hypnotized because I'd be doing a scene with Dick Sean. And in the back of my head, I'm like, Dick Shawn's talking to me. He's looking me right in the eyes, and he's talking to me.

It took me a while to get over that and just actually be in the scene. And by the way, during all this, my head looks like a giant head of lettuce because I'm like the cabbage man from outer space. Yeah, cabbage man, yeah. Yeah, so I'm in extreme prosthetic makeup. In fact, Steven Spielberg came to the set while we were shooting. And I think that's the first and only time I've ever met Spielberg. And again, I'm looking like a giant head of cabbage. And we're having a conversation. He was telling me about his son, Max. And I'm trying to carry on. That's just a casual conversation with the biggest director in the world

while dressed as a head of cabbage. I think our pal James Caron was in that episode, Gil. Oh, wow. That's what our fans are telling me. Yeah, he was a guest here, and he was terrific, James Caron. He was so funny. Terrific character actor. Yeah, he was great.

What about Malcolm McDowell, who we had here a couple of months ago, and you have a nice couple of moments with him in Halloween 2? Yeah, that was really sweet. That was a last minute thing. Rob Zombie called up like a couple days before the shoot,

and via Chris Hardwick, who kind of set the whole thing up, had me fly out to Atlanta and do a cameo shot in Rob Zombie's Halloween 2, where it's basically a random late-night talk show guest appearance where I'm on as myself with Malcolm McDowell, who's playing Dr. Loomis from the Halloween series.

And I'm just supposed to be the obnoxious version of myself. And Malcolm was great. Again, that's one of those things where I can't believe I'm acting with Malcolm McDowell. And when we're not shooting, I mean, just a very nice guy. I just remember when people would come up to him and reference Clockwork Orange,

his eyes would glaze over. You could just see off the sole of his body. And in fact, my favorite thing was I got a picture of myself and Rob Zombie and Malcolm McDowell, and we, you know, I was positioned on one side and Zombie was on the other, and I captioned

it Malcolm in the Middle. So that was my favorite bit from the day. He's a piece of work. What I remember about Malcolm McDowell on this podcast was he had told us we did a long interview. He told us now he has to go out to dinner. He has. And to close the show, he's talking about working on Caligula with John Gielgud.

And he and Gielgud are looking at the screen of something they're filming, and they're both going, what is that on the screen? And they realize it was Helen Mirren's asshole. Gilbert, this is a family show. Yes. They should have it captioned so you know what you're looking at.

Yes! I mean, don't make people guess. That could be any sphincter. As long as we're talking about surreal experiences, and I found two of these. More surreal experience. You get to decide. Making the Gump video with Ruth Buzzy and Pat Boone. Oh my goodness, yeah. Or being on Wheel of Fortune

with Little Richard and James Brown. Oh man, hard choice. Hard choice. I think Wheel of Fortune was a bit more, I mean, because I don't know that I would have done Celebrity Wheel of Fortune. In fact, my manager, you know, had called me up and said, hey, you got this offer to fly to Orlando to, you know, Wheel of Fortune. I was like, yeah, I don't know. I mean, it sounds a little cheesy. And he said, well, your other contestants are Little Richard and James Brown. I said, I am on the next plane there. That's amazing. And it was just as weird and surrealistic as you would have thought. And then Ruth Buzzi and Pat Boone, I mean, oh, my goodness, both. And Ruth Buzzi, like, you know.

In character as Gladys. In character. Oh, my God. And, you know, at that point, she was nearly age appropriate, which is perfect. So she was there with that giant purse that she used to have. Yes, yes, yes.

And then Pat Boone, you know, just making him do like, again, it's like the Robert Goulet thing. Just a straight-laced guy making him do the craziest stuff.

I had him just gobbling an entire box of chocolate, just cramming it into his mouth as fast as he could. He was like, sure, you want another take? Let his mouth as fast as he could. He's like, sure. You want another take?

That's great. And I'll tell you one quick Pat Boone story. I went to see Pat Boone perform. I forget what it was exactly. I think it might have been some kind of charity thing. But it was at the Disney Hall, the Gary Building in downtown LA. And Pat Boone came up to do some kind of song. And I was sitting. I had good seats, I was like in the

eighth row and he's singing the song, he gets like into the, like halfway into the second verse and he locks eyes with me in the audience. He looks at me and I'm looking at him and he completely blanks out. He just like,

he completely, his brain just went empty. And he literally had to start over and do the song over again because it totally threw up his concentration. I love it. Chris Bly tells us, Gilbert, here, that in this episode, Miss Stardust,

directed by your old friend, Toby Hooper, Gilbert, the one Al was talking about where he played the Cabbage Man, also starred our friend Rick Overton, who did this show, Lorraine Newman, who did this show, James Caron, Dick Shawn, and Jack Carter. Now, there you go. Lorraine Newman, too. She was in that.

Yeah. Yeah. She's lovely. She's great. Here's a question from a fan in the UK, Jonathan Sloman. Since we now know Gilbert is a fan of the UK, Jonathan Sloman. Since we now know Gilbert is a fan of the Ruddles, I didn't know that. What is Al's opinion of Neil Ennis and his parody work? And did they ever meet? Yeah, I love the Ruddles. I love Neil Ennis.

I saw Neil perform live once at McCabe's Guitar Shop in Santa Monica, California. I went with Emo Phillips and we hung out with Neil very shortly afterwards. And yeah, always a huge fan of his stuff. And he was on my Christmas card list for, you know, up until he passed. And yeah, always a big fan and a very cool guy. Somebody we should have had on here. Yeah, he, I remember on the Ruttles, he just captured the feeling of Beatles songs. That was very interesting. That's why I've never done a Beatles pastiche, because the Ruttles did it so well.

They did it well. How are you going to compete with that? I mean, Neil just had it down. I mean, like an entire album of pitch-perfect Beatles parodies. Somebody we talk about, we said before when we started, Shel Silverstein, who you, what, ran into randomly somewhere when you were doing... Is this true that you tried to get him on your Saturday morning series?

I did, yeah. You know, again, one of my all-time heroes, and I had his Freakin' the Freakers Ball and all his albums on as a teenager. Huge influence. And I wanted to get him on my ill-fated Saturday morning show in the late 90s on CBS. The one Gilbert sunk by being on. Yes. That one.

I was on the one where they finally decided, let's take this show off the air. We've had enough. All right. He's already had Gilbert Gottfried on. It's time to get this show off. I saw it, Gilbert. You're wearing wingtips. I saw that episode online.

I don't know why you're wearing wingtip shoes. I remember doing that show because you were explaining to the children in the audience about having an imaginary friend. And I was playing your imaginary friend. Sometimes if I'm really quiet, I can actually hear my imaginary friend talking to me. Oh, Gilbert!

I'm right here! I'm right here! Yeah! There's absolutely nothing wrong with having an imaginary friend. In fact, I still have an imaginary friend. I call him Gilbert. That's my name. That's my name. Why wouldn't you call me Gilbert? That's my name. My name's Gilbert. And even though Gilbert is imaginary,

he's always there if I need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on. I told you a thousand times, I'm not imaginary! I'm real! You see me? I'm real! Look, you want identification? Here, here, anything you want. You want a driver's license? You want ID? You want a birth certificate? Hey, maybe we could say hello to Gilbert right now. Oh, Gilbert. I'm here! I'm right here! I'm right in front of you!

If you could only hear what he's saying to me right now. He's such a joker. Okay, that's it. I'm out of here, because you're a nutcase! And I, like, take out my wallet and show ID. You did get to work with Freeberg on that show with one of your heroes, but not Shell. I will say, I asked, I figured, okay, I've got a network TV show.

I'm going to try to work with all my heroes. Obviously, Alan Sherman had passed. Spike Jonze was long gone. But I approached Tom Lehrer, who, you know, no surprise, he said no just because he's been out of the, you know. He's a recluse. He's a recluse, absolutely.

Still one of my heroes and still with us, thankfully. 93. You got to get him on your show, for crying out loud. I don't think he'd do it. No, probably not. You got any pull, buddy. Yeah, who else? And then Stan Freeberg was, you know, that was the one that said yes,

and he came on and he was amazing as the network chief, J.B. Toppersmith, who was always giving me stupid network notes. In fact, his son Donovan Freeberg was on the show as well. Stan and Donovan did the voices and actually were the puppets in like a weird puppet show segment. Uh, so it was

great to be able to, to come to work every day and work with one of your all-time heroes. And Shell was sort of the one that got away because, uh, I had approached, I saw him at Tower Records on the Sunset Strip back when that was still a record store. And he was going through the racks and I, I recognized him and I walked over and I said, hi. And, and, uh, after I kind of gushed out and I said, you know, I I'm doing this Saturday morning show on CBS and, and I would love for you to just, you know, be in it, be a cast member, just anything you want to do. And he said, well, I don't want to be on camera. I don't really do that anymore. I don't feel comfortable doing that. But if you ever want like advice, uh, or you want me to you know be your be your spiritual counselor

or whatever just just you know if you want my opinion on anything feel free to get a hold of me and let me know and it was the same thing that what that you just had was like i never like the carlin thing i never took advantage of that i never never followed up on that and now it's too late what a renaissance man he was. Oh, amazing. Yeah, he really could do anything. I remember he used to, like, just about every issue of Playboy would have an article.

Yeah, the cartoons and sometimes... Yes. Let's mention another influence, Al, who just passed, the great Frank Jacobs. Yes, absolutely. So Frank Jacobs worked for a magazine for a thousand years, uh, and was basically the, the, the song parody guy. Like if, if there was a song parody in Mad, uh, chances are it was written by Frank. And, you know, I was a voracious fanatical, uh,

reader of Mad Magazine when I was in my early teens. And that really kind of shaped my comic sensibility to a large extent. And Frank Jacobs was a big part of that. And I got to meet Frank for the first time, gosh, I want to say maybe 20 years ago. It was like at Comic-Con in San Diego. I was going with some friends and I said, notice Frank Jacobs is doing like a seminar then. I thought, wow, that'd be really cool. I hope I hope we can get in. I hope I can like wedge my way through the through the standing room only crowd at this huge arena where Frank Jacobs is talking. And I get there and he was talking in a classroom and about 12 people had shown up. And I thought, this guy's a legend. He's an icon. Why aren't there 1,000 people here?

And it was just a very relaxed situation. We were all sitting in desks, like in a classroom. And Frank was holding court, very casual. And every now and then, he'd look at me and say, he'd make a point, and then he'd look at me and say, you know what I'm talking about, all right? And I'd go, yeah, yeah frank it was just so cool and and i had the honor of writing the forward to um frank jacobs book which came out a few years ago so that was you said something nice you said he

altered your dna that's probably true yes absolutely yeah people should look up his work before you had access to major studios and equipment you used to record in uh the men's room i don't know where you heard that gilbert yeah did you yeah they uh my first uh my first big recording my bologna was recorded in the men's room across the hall for my college campus radio station because i was 19, I think, at the time. I couldn't afford to go into a real studio. And the bathroom there had a very nice, warm reverb sound, that bathroom wall of sound that Phil Spector was so proud of. So, yeah, that's where I recorded my first single.

And then I sent it to Dr. Demento. He played it on the air. It kind of became, it went viral back in the days before things went viral. And oddly enough, it got back to the NAC and Capitol Records and they decided to put it out. They didn't want to re-record it. They just said, no,

we don't want to spend any money on this. We're going to use the original bathroom recording. Here's your check. Have some lunch. I heard you say in an interview that, you know, with all the thrills and the highs that you've experienced in your career, that that feeling, being on the Dr. Demento show for the first time, hearing your stuff on the radio for the first time, is maybe still your biggest thrill, or a feeling that stays with you all

these years later. It's hard to beat that, yeah, I mean, I've had a number of pinch myself moments over the last 40 years. Of course. Meeting McCartney for one and being a fan. Yes. My goodness. But yeah, just the first time that happens to you, it's such validation. I mean, I remember just the first time, even hearing my song on the radio, on local radio. It's just like every single bad rock and roll movie you've ever seen where like, they're playing my song on the radio, on local radio. It's just like every single bad rock and roll movie

you've ever seen where like, they're playing my song on the radio and you go running around the house kicking your head off. And you know, that's a real thing that happens. I mean, I was like 16 years old at the time and it was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. And I remember when My Bologna became a hit,

I was in college at the time and I opened up my mail and there was a postcard from Dr. Demento saying that my Bologna had been number one on the funny five for two weeks in a row. And I thought, my life will never get better than this. This is like the high point of all time. When we have musicians on the show, we just had Michelle Phillips a couple of weeks ago, and we've had Kenny Loggins here and Richard Marks and a bunch of people. And Gilbert and I always make a point to ask, what was that feeling? Hearing your song, hearing your voice on the radio for the first time.

I think it was a transformative experience for so many of them. It's crazy. The first thought was, who turned on my tape deck? Because I thought that I had accidentally like switched and like started playing my own personal tapes. And then when I realized it was like playing out of like the radio speakers and like other people were hearing it. Yeah. Blew my mind. And you still give him credit, Barry, all these years later. Absolutely. You used to talk about what a gift he gave you. I mean, there are a number of people, you know, throughout the course of my life that have done

things that have influenced my career and changed my life in profound ways. But if it hadn't been for Dr. Demento, if he had never existed, I definitely, you know, would not have a career in show business. And I would be doing something which, you know, by all accounts, I would not be enjoying nearly as much as my current line of work. I mean, I can't even imagine what I'd rather be doing right now. This is exactly, you know, what I enjoy doing. This podcast, you mean?

This podcast, yeah. Everything else is just a distraction. I understand. But it was all building up to the, I figured if I had a number one album, eventually Gilbert would have me on the podcast. Uh-huh. It worked out.

Can you do a Dr. Demento imitation for us? Woo, woo, wind up your radios. I don't do any imitations, no. I don't do it. I'm not good at it. I loved your, what was it, Jerry Hendricks? When you did Jimmy Hendricks as Jerry Lewis? Or the other way around.

Yeah, I posted that online and everybody was like, no, it's Jimmy Hendricks. No, it's Jerry Hendricks because I'm singing a Jimmy Hendricks song sort of like halfway like Jerry Lewis would sing it. Like, you know, foxy lady. La, la, la, nice lady. Al, do you think that your singing has improved over the years? I heard you talking about, you know, the Malcolm Gladwell theory. You do something, what is it, 100,000 hours or 10,000 hours?

10,000, yeah. 10,000 hours. And I heard you, I saw a video with you doing the James Blunt song at a concert that you're pitiful. And you got some pipes. Well, thank you.

Thank you. Yeah, I mean, I definitely think I sing better now than I did, you know, when I was a teenager. And, you know, not that I was ever

a bad singer, but I think, you know, you get more trained and more professional as time goes on. And now that they have auto-tune, I sing perfectly. My life is brilliant

Your life's a joke You're just pathetic You're always broke Your homemade Star Trek uniform Really ain't impressing me you're suffering

from delusions of adequacy you're pitiful you're pitiful you're pitiful it's true never had a date that you couldn't inflate.

And you smell repulsive too. What a bummer being you. We're going to send you some of Gilbert's greatest hits. Great. Him singing with Neil Sedaka and Jimmy Webb. Oh, excellent, excellent. Yeah. This is from Stan Merrill, or Merrell.

Does Al remember, let me talk right into my recorder here, does Al remember visiting the Record Archive in Rochester, New York with Dr. Demento? Probably one of his early gigs, they were appearing at the Red Creek and popping by the store to find vinyl oddities. Al signed an autograph to me. He signed on an Obscure Evangelist album, and he wrote, Eat Your Broccoli.

I still have the record. I remember that specifically. I was going to say turnips, but then I changed it the last second to broccoli. I just thought it was more appropriate given the situation. Well, I ask because you've said that, and I heard you with Marc Maron, you said you're a bit of a hoarder, especially as it pertains to things that fans have sent you that have sentimental value. You don't want to part with things. No, exactly. I mean, and my wife has tried to cure me of that. A lot of stuff, you know, because I had a storage unit literally filled, again, literally,

but for real, literally filled with Beacon's boxes of fan mail, like, I don't know, three or four dozen boxes full of fan mail from the 80s. And I thought, I can never throw these away because they're love letters. How can you throw away a love letter? And then my wife was like, are you ever going to read these again? Are you going to be like 80 years old going through these boxes going, somebody used to love me? It's a roast bud moment. Yeah. And it was, you know, she's taught me to kind of pare down and only keep a few things that are really, really, really important and sentimental. And it was sad, but I had to get rid of those boxes.

And I still enjoy getting stuff from fans, but a lot of stuff, like if somebody makes me a scale model of the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota, I go, oh, that's nice, and now I just take a picture of it, and I save the picture. So there's a way to keep your life somewhat uncluttered and yet be appreciative and, you know, respectful of your fans. Gilbert, what about you? You've kept every fan letter along with the shampoo bottles. Oh, yes. Yeah.

Everything I steal from hotels. And that's where I have like I could have a whole separate apartment just for my shampoo and skin lotions that I take from hotels. That has sentimental value for him, like the fan letters do for you. I, you know, that's when I knew it was time to go back on the road when I ran out of soap. We will return to Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast. But first, a word from our sponsor. I also wanted to ask you this. Listening to the Hanson parody.

What is that? Love? If that isn't love. If that isn't love, if that isn't love, do you fantasize or do you, do you, uh, toy around with the idea? I could write a real legitimate pop song because that song,

I know you're doing a pastiche and you like Hanson, but that, that song to me, uh, and also the, uh, the, they might be giants one.

Is that everything you know is wrong? Yeah. I think those songs could stand alone as, as pop. i don't know if people have pop singles anymore but but but well-crafted pop songs thanks where it's that where it's not necessarily humorous do you do you uh have you entertained that i i don't have any real desire to do that i mean i can certainly write music like instrumentals that are not funny. But whenever I try to write like sincere, heartfelt, you know, important lyrics, my brain kind of short circuits. I mean, I'm not wired to do that. It could be something like Mbop. It doesn't have to be anything that deep. I guess. But, you know, there's a lot of craft in that writing is

what I mean to say. I mean, I, to say. I like to write a very specific way. Like Portugal the Man, my friends, I sang on their last single. And I was talking to John Gurley, who's the lead singer, and he wanted me to try to write a bridge for a song on the new album. And I was like, I don't really do serious music so much. And he wanted me to give it a shot. And I was like, well, I'm not really, I don't really do serious music so much. And, and he wanted me to give it a shot. And, and I tried, I wrote, I wrote some lyrics and man, it just went against my DNA just to write something that was just like, not funny, just like this sincere thing. And it was like, oh man, that is like not who I am. And I, I came up

with something. I doubt he'll ever use it. I don't think it's ever going to see the light of day, but it's not my forte or fort, as George Carlin would direct me. What about a stage musical? What about something like Spamalot or Avenue Q? A funny stage musical. I wouldn't mind going. Broadway's opening in September.

I'll buy a ticket, sure. And have you ever gotten a word from a musician who didn't like one of your parodies? Not really, because like I said, I do get their permission ahead of time. There was a little bit of a kerfuffle with Coolio back when that

in the late 90s, but he's fine now. I've got a pretty good track record of artists liking what I do. And like you brought up, Frank, a lot of them consider it an honor when I did the song. You got your Grammy and your

People's Choice Award and your Weird Al parody. There you go. You and Coolio buried the hatchet? Yeah, he was totally cool. He came up to me in Las Vegas at some kind of trade show. I forget exactly. Las Vegas, I think it was. And it was a little scary for a second because, you know, I'd heard there was some bad blood or there was some beef with me. And he just, you know,

he was offended by Amish Paradise. And there was a rumor going around, Kool-Aid was in the building. Kool-Aid was, he's like 100 feet away from me. He's coming towards me. Oh no, do I need to duck? And he came over and he gave me a big hug and he signed his name on one of my autographed pictures and he was very cool about it. So he's gone on record as saying that he overreacted when that all came about. And the whole thing was just misinformation.

I don't know who told who what, but my record label told me he was fine with it. He claims that he never approved it. But again, it's water under the bridge and everything's fine now. It's funny because there are a lot of celebrities angry at Gilbert for spoofing them over the years. What? Gilbert, what did you do? Would Mr. Seinfeld be on that list, Gilbert? Gilbert, what did you do? Would Mr. Seinfeld be on that list, Gilbert?

What is this story before, as we wind down, what is this naked gun story that she used to take dates to, I'm going to embarrass you now. Oh, man, yeah, okay. Yeah, back in my single days, this had been the late 80s when the first Naked Gun movie came out. And I was dating a lot and I went on a lot of first dates. And I saw the movie a number of times because my favorite kind of prank to pull was I did invite a woman out on a date and I'd say, hey, see a movie you wanna see Naked Gun and not knowing that I it's not advertised that I meant it or anything uh it's just a random cameo and I would

wear the same shirt uh that I'm wearing in the movie and I take him to the movie and like an hour into the movie you see me walking off the plane like Leslie Niel you know something doing the whole bit about uh you know and you you know what do you leave me alone like i stop hounding me and and george kennedy says they're not here for you frank weird al's on the plane you see me walking on the airplane people going nuts and i'm wearing the same shirt on the plane that i'm wearing in the theater next to my date and she would do a double take like what's going on here and usually there wasn't a second date but it amused me do you know the actor bob balaban you must know him sure yeah he used to take his family built

movie theaters in chicago and as a teenager he would take dates there so they could see his name carved into the walls of the theater. Nice. Similar. Gilbert, have you ever done that? Come clean. Have you ever used, in the old days, in your single days pre-Dara, did you ever bring a woman to a Problem Child 2? Or try to use your fame for certain ill-gotten gains? Well, try to use your fame for certain ill-gotten gains. I advise every guy out there, if you want to get laid,

take the girl to see Problem Child 2. In the one seat, it calls it a panty dropper. This is an interesting question. Our last one from a listener. Richard Hausman. How is Al perceived by traditional polka musicians? Well, I could tell you. Or traditional accordionists. Yeah, I certainly met Frank Yankovic.

No relation, but we were good friends during the later part of his life. I've met Walter Oankovic, no relation, but I mean, we were good friends during the course of his, you know, the later part of his life. I've met Walter Ostenek from Canada. So the ones that I've met to my face, they were very nice and calm. I mean, what I do, when I do polka medleys, it's not really pure polka.

It's sort of like a mix of polka and Spike Jonze. It really owes as much to spike as polka music but you know it's all done in good fun uh so i was that guy jimmy stirr that was around years ago yeah won like 2 000 grammys i worked with him on a strange corporate gig every single year jimmy stirr would win a grammy yeah but sure you're the most famous accordion player and the most famous polka player of all time. So you have to be a bit of a hero to these people, aren't you? Well, again, the few that I've met seem to like me. I haven't been deep in the bowels and the recesses of the polka community,

so I don't know if they feel like I'm not being respectful enough or whatever. I'd like to think they get a kick out of it, and the fact that I'm bringing sexy back to the accordion means something to them. What's happening with this Tiny Tim documentary that you narrated? I find it refreshing that you're a Tiny Tim fan. Yeah, absolutely. Like us. Yeah yeah that's uh king for a day it's uh i i think it's coming out in theaters you probably know this more than i do uh soon if not it's not already but well they said april but i guess you know all bets are off now right yeah april 23rd it was supposed to be yeah sometimes it's going to leak out at some point. But yeah, I was asked to, I guess narrator is what I did. I basically was reading excerpts from Tiny Tim's diary

and I wasn't imitating Tiny Tim. I didn't do it as a goof because his diary is again, very kind of earnest and heartfelt and you kind of really get a glimpse into, you know, into how his mind works. So it's just of a serious recitation of Tiny Tim's diary. Another guy like Alan Sherman that burned brightly for a while and then had a fall. Made some bad decisions and yet, again, sort of a cautionary tale. Yeah. I lied. This is the last one I'm going to ask.

Okay. From Mark Skoback. Does Al have a favorite Alan Sherman or Tom Lehrer song? Do you have your old vinyl, or did your wife make you throw those out too? You know, there's a few. I think I've got my Tom Lehrer 10-inch that I bought at some used store. I got rid of most of my vinyl on my wife's suggestion. She's like, you've got the CDs, or you've got it digitally.

Why do you need the vinyl? I'm like, you're right, honey. OK. But yeah, what was the question regarding to other? Favorite Lehrer or favorite Sherman? You know, I don't really have a favorite one. If you're going Lehrer, I might say the Element song, just because I memorized that.

I've done it in concert once or twice. So that was a fun one to do. And Alan Sherman, yeah, I mean, just his whole oomphra. Yeah, so many. There's a great, I'll direct Alan Sherman fans, I'll direct to on YouTube, Jason Alexander does a wonderful cover version of Shake Hands With Your Uncle Max. Oh, nice. Yeah, which he did for some Broadway album. Should Gilbert make a comedy album?

As opposed to what? Like a cake? Well, you hit number one. We're trying to find new directions and new challenges for the guy. You were the first person in, what, 50 years to hit number one with a comedy album. Yeah. Gilbert has a great wealth of material. Should he attempt something like that?

Well, yeah. I'm just trying to think, what is the state of comedy albums these days? Most people would do an HBO special or a Netflix special, and then that special becomes the album. So, yeah, there aren't a lot of, I'm trying to think, there aren't a lot of comedy albums, I think, that are just pure comedy albums these days, especially for stand-up.

So if you want to do it, Gilbert, please don't let me stop you. I don't know what, well'm like, if you want to do it, Gilbert, please. Yeah. Don't let me stop you. But I don't know what. Well, I remember one time some company was going to do a comedy album with me. And of course, the company closed up. As soon as you said you killed Weird Al's show. Before I. But. Well, you did the Dirty Jokes CD.

You did that. Yeah. That counts? But there. You did that. Yeah. That counts? But there was actually an, yeah. I'm talking about like the old Newhart. I'm talking about like, you know, in front of an audience, the classic ones in a club with a live audience. Yeah.

But you know something? There's something very weird. Whenever I've listened to comedy albums, I've listened to a bunch and there's something very weird. Whenever I've listened to comedy albums, I've listened to a bunch, and there's something depressing about listening to a comedy album for me. Really? Yeah. That's an odd reaction.

Yeah. But not Al's records. When I go to a funeral, I laugh my head off, so maybe there's something to that. I don't know. Oh, the record label, I think, was Qantas or something like that. That's an airline that goes to Australia.

But something like that. That's why they went out of business. They weren't set up for comedy albums. And I remember they did a major thing. They were talking, major talking, and smoke up the ass, and then they closed. Gil, you might have to write new material, though.

Oh, well, forget it. Yeah. If it involves effort, you know, what's the point? Oh, all right. I think my Bonanza bit works just as well. Fresh as this morning's headlines. He's wondering why people aren't getting the Hop Sing references in 2021. This is the last question I have.

I got a million cards. This is the penultimate question I can tell. Yes, the penultimate. I was going to ask you about that Don McLean thing, which I find, which is fascinating. Well, tell people that, because that is funny. That he's mistaking your lyrics for his when he's doing... Well, people have gotten this story a little bit twisted.

People have said that... Do I have it wrong? Well, there's some truth to it. People are saying, like, sometimes John McClane will start singing songs about the Jedis in concert, and they'll start singing Al's song. I don't believe that's ever happened,

but he told me that because his kids were fans, fans of the saga thatgins, which is my version of American Pie. He says he heard that around the house so much that now sometimes when he's doing his song, my lyrics will start to float around in his brain and it'll just kind of

cloud his memory a little bit. I don't think he's ever actually messed up or sang the wrong words, but he just says it gets into his head. Print the legend. Yeah, there you go. I'm not going to say it's messed up or sang the wrong words, but he just says it gets into his head. Print the legend. Yeah, there you go. I'm not going to say it's wrong. Go with it.

Gil, anything else you want to berate this man about? Yeah. You do song parodies, right? You do ill-timed tsunami jokes, right? Are there well-timed tsunami jokes? I'm using everything. Don't record that album in Japan, Gilbert. Yeah, yeah. We could do a whole other episode with you

just asking about your Japanese experiences. Oh, my goodness. Really funny, detailed in this wonderful book by you and Nathan, which we'll plug at the end. All right, Gil, we have more to do, so we're going to thank some people before you sign off. We'll thank Al. We'll thank Al's manager, Jay Levy.

We'll thank Amanda Cohen, Jordan Dempsey from Nowhere Comedy, and Jen Saunderson, and Andrew, and Molly Molly and Yasmin. Nathan Rabin, your longtime... This book is hilarious and we want to plug it. Weird Al. We're in a video and an audio medium. Weird Al, the book by Nathan and the weird accordion to Al. I told you it took me a week to get that joke of that title.

And Nathan's doing a coloring book now, too. He's doing a Kickstarter for a coloring book called The Weird A-Coloring to Al. Oh, my God. Sorry. That's happening, too. Let's plug Nathan's coloring book about Weird Al. I want to thank Krista Rose and Eddie Schmidt for their wonderfully obscure research. And our team, Greg Pair, Aristotle Acevedo, John Murray, John Seals, Josh Chambers,

Dino Preserpio, the late, great Mike McPadden. We love you, Rachel. I am not going to thank you, Gilbert. I will thank. My lights are going out here. It's a bad sign. Thank you, Gilbert. Thank you.

Do you forgive Gilbert for ruining your Saturday morning show, Al? You know, it ran its course already. I was like, might as well have Gilbert on. We love Eddie Deason was on that show. Oh, the guy boarded up in the wall. Yeah, a guy we adore. Yeah. We'll tell people they're on YouTube.

And also, did you put them on Blu-ray? I don't think it was. I think it was DVD. I think it was right on on blu-ray uh i i don't think i think i think it was dvd i think it was right before the blu-ray they're really good and smart and it was a show ahead of its time and you were completely committed to the comedy it was you know it had its moments we could do another whole show on i know but yeah and someday we will thanks for coming back and my pleasure so fun what do you think gil Do you have any gratitude at all, Gilbert? Yes, yes. Thank you, whoever.

The sincerity just is dripping. Al, thanks for putting up with us twice. Not once, but twice. Thanks, guys. And bless Al Jaffe, who's 100. Yes. Happy birthday, Al. Speaking of mad, twice. Thanks, guys. And bless Al Jaffe, who's 100. Yes. Happy birthday, Al. Speaking of mad, a giant walks among us.

All right, Gil. This has been Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast with my co-host, Frank Santopadre. And we're lucky enough to have a guest who took time off from the Nuremberg trial to be here with us. guess who took time off from the nuremberg trial thank you al thank you fans we love you guys