Girl on Guy with Aisha Tyler - girl on guy 186: jerry ferrara

Episode Date: May 26, 2015

join entourage's jerry ferrara and aisha as they rip through childhood nerdery, adult emergences, pickup lines, fresh kicks, grand gestures, big moves, and bigger dreams. plus jerry is grateful for your offer. he just doesn't want to take it. girl on guy knows it's 4:20 somewhere.

This is Girl on Guy. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Girl on Guy, 186. Welcome to the show. How can it be, how can it possibly be that this is 186 shows I've done? Actually, or 200 if you add all the premium episodes in. Holy crap. What is going on? And I'm so excited to bring this episode to you. It's an excellent one with a very talented and funny actor. And I can't wait to bring it to you. You know you can see me, even though you cannot see me live, you can watch me in lots of different iterations,

including every Friday night on the CW on season three of Whose Line Is It Anyway, which is kicking massive ass. If you haven't been watching, it is so insanely funny this season, the funniest season we've done so far. So don't forget to check that out, Friday night's on the CW, every day on the talk, obviously. And we've started work on Season 7 of Archer, and that will be coming at you January 2016. So lots of fun ways to see my face. You can hear my voice here, but you can see my face there. and you should avail yourself of all of those things. You can also visit girl on guy.coma

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man because they support Girl on Guy. Check that out. This episode, ladies and gentlemen, apropos of everything, is with Jerry Ferrara. Now, you know who he is. He plays Turtle, previously in the Entourage series, and now in the Entourage film. Which comes out June 3rd, just next week, ladies and gentlemen, you listen to this interview,

and it will greatly enhance your enjoyment and experience with the entourage movie that is yet to come. This guy is so delightful. And I think you could tell that when you watched the show, how funny and lovely he was as Turtle. but he is more delightful in real life as in the role of himself, Jerry Ferrara, funny, self-deprecating, lovely, open, so cool. His voice is delightful. His accent is delightful. He's fucking great. I love this interview. I really, really like this guy. I don't want to say love because I don't want to creep him out, but I really, really enjoy talking with him.

And he's just the coolest guy. I know that you're going to fall in love with him, too. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Girl on Guy 100, 186 coming at you, straight out of the Girl on Guy bunker and right into your face. Jerry Ferrar, welcome to my show. It is great to be here, by the way. I was so excited. You know, you were kind of giving me a little backstory on it. I had to admit, like, I listened to the show. I was pitching the show to you.

I wanted the pitch, though. I wanted the experience of the pitch. I didn't want to get robbed of that moment. just because I'm a fan of the show. Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. That makes me super happy. I never think anybody's listening to my show. Oh, they're listening. Okay, good. That's good. My mom doesn't actually listen to the show.

She's like, I'm on episode 12. I'm like, it's all right. You're older. She can barely figure out how to use her phone. I'm super excited to have you here. And I want to start at the beginning, but for you, I just want to talk about the elephant in the room right now because I know a lot of people thinking about it, talking about it. Okay. And it's coming. and I just want to talk about the Entourage movie and like

I don't know like it's really interesting because right after the show ended immediately that was like people started talking about and I feel like everything that happened was like it's happening, it's not happening, it's happening I just want to hear from you like what the interim between then and now was like in terms of the movie.

The then and now was pretty simple in the beginning because we had the luxury of knowing right around season six we did eight seasons that eight seasons were out we're done. And I don't think shows ever... Whose decision was that? I think it was just a combination of HBO's at the time

and then also Doug Allen, who's our showrunner, creator. And it just also like, we really kind of done a lot with the characters. But it started that way. We're done after season eight. But then it also, the plan began. But we're going to leave room because we think this could translate to the screen for a feature. Right.

That always was the plan. I'm talking back in like season six. Okay. Wow. And we always kind of talked because we came along in such a weird, generation of it was like the beginning of it was TiVo back then right right yeah it wasn't even DVR yeah it was the beginning of that and the beginnings of like online streaming and like the very beginnings of like Twitter and stuff I remember I had a line in like season whatever six or seven

where I say to one of the character to Vince you have a million Twitter files and I remember my might be like what the what the hell is Twitter what is that what is this Twitter shit someone explain I need to do research I don't know what that is so we we always wondered our ratings were always great for a premium cable TV, but we always wondered, are people really watching the show and how many? And I feel like we've never been able to gauge, and this is going to be the ultimate

litmus test. Because they think we had a lot of group watching. We were a lot of young college kids would get together in groups of 20 and watch. So it was always the plan, and right around season 6, we're going to end after 8, and we're going to leave room for a movie, and if there's a calling for it, we're going to make it. But then what happens is, you know,

we're under contract, obviously. You know, like you're doing a TV show, that ends, you start a deal from scratch. Right, right. It's getting everyone's availability. And everybody's scattered to the wind, right? Everybody, other shit they wanted to do. Scattered to the wind, left to their own devices. I actually, I mean, I changed so much from like that season six, seven point, I was 28. And then the two years of shooting with the three years of, I'm 35 now.

I don't even know if I could do this anymore. Right, right. But it took a while to get done. It actually played out like an episode of the show. Really? Just getting everyone's deals done. Then there was like a little media thing for a half second. Not that it was like front page stuff.

It was back page stuff. I'm just like, who's the reason why? It's not happening. I was the reason. I was the reason why at one point. You guys think awfully high of me. I want this shit to happen. Right.

And yeah, it finally happened and we shot the movie. And I could honestly say, and it tested last week. And I won't say the number, but it tested really, really well. And it's good. The trailer is hilarious. The trailer is dope. It's so dope. And I remember watching it the first, because I've watched it a couple times now, and watching it the first time and being like, what the fuck is happening?

Starts up like Dark Night. Right. Yeah, exactly. Like Dark Night meets, oh, God, there was this movie in the 90s, strange days. Yeah, strange days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's so funny. It looks so great.

Do you feel like you feel like you guys have been able to? to do things in the film that you couldn't do in a series? Yes and no. I say yes because the one thing when you're dealing with, you know, again, as you know, like a series where it's like, it's a much quicker burn. Like you don't really have the luxury to establish all this stuff. Yes, you have a whole season, but you got to keep it moving. In the movie, you got to focus on one story for each person for the two hours. It's less than two hours. It's not two hours, but for the two hour length of the movie. So it's kind of nice to be able to, slow burn some of the storylines.

I guess that's one thing, but the show always felt like we were making the movie. We're always on location in L.A. Always crazy 12, 14, 15-hour days with three movies. It just always felt like a movie, and we always had the premiere. Our premieres in New York are at the Ziegfield. Right, right.

And I think that's what sparked some of the idea. It always played the best on a big screen with a crowd. Right. I think that's what sparked some of the idea, maybe for the people who get to make those decisions of, oh, this could translate. Right, this could work. Yeah.

I mean, and also, there was always something, I mean, there was always something really meta about entourage. You know what I mean? It was like a show business show about show business. And there was always this kind of tongue and cheek like, this is an inside, this is one, at least one aspect of being inside. It was so funny because I remember watching the show, and sometimes I would be like,

this feels like people I know. And then sometimes I was like, this feels like people I know spit shined and a little sparklier. But there were real, there was some real, ask moments in that show. Look, I could say, and we always worry early on, like, are people in like Middle America going to give a shit

about, like, uh, yeah. Like a Jeffrey Katzenberg diet Coke joke. You know what I mean? It's at their Harvey Weinstein walking through a bar. Right, we have a fake Harvey Weinstein that we had a rename because he was like, don't put me on your damn show. Don't use my name. We called him Harvey Wine Guard. And, uh, I think

he still hated it. And like, who's going to, and sure enough, that turned out to be some of people's favorite stuff. And right. To further what you're saying, it's almost like there's always a mixture of, obviously, stories from Wahlberg, Steve Levinson is his manager, Doug Allen's been through so much,

some of our stories, and then also some of these kind of like Hollywood urban legends that maybe it happened, and you just heightened it. And yes, some of it is spit shine for sure. I mean, I had the luxury of knowing, like I could tell, you know, I mean, but I feel like, again, like you're right,

like out in the middle of the country, would it feel too inside baseball? But I think for those people, they just, it was just delicious. like, oh shit, is this what Hollywood is like? Yeah, and I think the fact that it was always grounded and rooted in the fact of friendship and loyalty trumps all the toys and all the fun that we experience. Hopefully, I like to think it made such a kind of crazy world of a giant movie star and his friends,

like relatable, which is the hardest thing to ever do. How do you relate to someone who has millions of dollars and all this success with women and any car he wants? Like, that's not relatable to anybody. Right. And has enough money to care. carry all his friends. Right.

The concept of an entourage, right? Which is you can carry all your buddies. Yeah. That's like, that's a different level. I mean, not in this town because everybody's so wealthy here, but I mean, it's a different level of wealth, right? We're like, not only my rich, but I can just pay all my buddies to hang around. For sure.

And that's actually my brother early on pointed it out. He's a little, my older brother. And he said, you know, it just would be so nice at the time. I think he was 30 and I was like 25 or something to come home and just have my three boy, my three best friends waiting to play with me. It would be great. And I think that's also part of it because you just, you know, you grow up. You can't do that anymore.

Everyone has lives. Right, exactly. I love my two best friends waiting for me out in the car. And that is a luxury of youth, not just wealth but youth, right? Because, I mean, I imagine, and I've seen most of entourage, but not all of it. But, like, a part of that became, like, everybody trying to get a life, right, trying to have a relationship, not being, like, constantly, you know, at, like, the disposal of their friend, you know. Yeah, that was. one storyline, particularly from my character, where he's always trying to go off and start a business

and actually become successful, where in the beginning of the series, he just rested on Easy Street, like, I'm the sidekick, I'm the driver, I make $200 a week, I go after the girls that don't, that he doesn't choose. Everything falls through his fingers, I pick that up off the ground. And then, like, halfway through there becomes this nice thing where he tries to be his own man. There's actually like a line from the VIN's character, like, well, everybody wants to be their own man now. It's like, yeah, that's called life. That's the natural progression of life. And these guys were actually stunted for a while.

Right, right. But eventually it does happen. And that's what you could say. The movie is the adult, a more adult. I mean, we're still immature in a lot of ways in the movie, but it's definitely a little more of that next chapter. Yeah, I just remember now, it's so funny, like the stuff that you remember from a show that you haven't seen in years that felt so L.A., but, like, I think there's a,

I think it's Turtle, like, where you want some new shoes and you go and, like, to the line. But, like, by the way, that Kickstarter. on Larchmont, there is always a line outside of that store. And like, always. Undefeated on Librea. That wasn't, and that's not an urban legend, but that's, that was something that Doug Allen, I believe it was Rob Weiss, one of the producer writers, is like, just wanted to comment on that culture, which at the time hadn't really been discussed.

There was a huge sneakerhead culture. People knew, but what people go through to get the new limit is that are dropping that day, I didn't even know, and I was like a half a sneaker head at the time. Right, right, right. I don't know just how hardcore. And that's one of the questions I get asked most about. I was like, did you keep those sneakers? And I get financial offer.

I've gotten offered. Well, I'll buy them off. 50, 100. Wow. They're never getting sold. Right. Unless I truly have hit rock bottom. Right.

Seriously, unless I need to like, yeah. If you heard I sold those shoes, something bad happened. I'm working at the mall. I was about to take a job at the mall, so I sold the sneakers. Yes. The other thing that I think is really interesting. interesting and I wonder, especially because you were doing a show where you guys played best friends. And the intimacy on a set between actors, it's like, I mean, look, not like, not like you can't be on a set where everybody's miserable, but, you know.

I've been there. We all have. We all have. Yeah. But, like, it's really important for me just personally as an actor to, like, try to create, like, a good vibe on set of it. I care about it a lot. And, you know, you get to be, like, just family with people. Even when you've been, even on a pilot.

Like, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like on a. Yeah, it was like summer camp, you know. So you guys did this for eight seasons where not only were you working together every day, but you played best friends. And this sounds like a little bit of a silly question, but I guess I wonder, you know, life just intervenes, right? You spread, right?

As soon as the show goes away, everybody spreads. You do. It's almost like, I don't want to equate it to, like, high school, but I always growing up had, like, the kids I grew up with on my street. We all didn't go to the same school. And then I had, like, my high school friends who I didn't really hang out outside of high school. And like, minute summer break came, I just focused on my friends on my street. But then once high school came back, it was a little bit like that.

But it's the trickiest thing in the world because, like, chemistry on screen is not something you could really cast. And they do chemistry reads all the time. And I've actually seen cases where everyone, like, we genuinely love each other off camera. It's real. And I have a different relationship with each and every one of those guys. It's very much a family. Some I'm closer to than others. but we're tied together for life.

But I've seen people who did not get along at all in real life, and they just had this amazing chemistry on screen. Right. And I've seen people who maybe even had a little thing going on off screen and had zero chemistry. Nothing happening on screen, yeah. I think it's the X factor. It's the ultimate X factor that you can't really account for

in a casting session or anything. Right. And sometimes even in a casting session, sometimes it looks right, and then it doesn't play or vice versa. But I wonder how it felt now going away for how long? Seven? We started, we actually started shooting the movie last year. Like all the stuff, there's been, like, it was in some of the whatever trades or whatever

that we've been shooting. And there's just pick up shots like anything else. Like any movie. Yeah, the beginning of 2014. I think the show, I don't really even know. I think it might have stopped airing end of the year in 2011. So it was like two and a half, three years. So it wasn't a long, long period of time.

And, you know, the way HBO kind of does their shows, we always had long breaks in between seasons. So it just felt like an extended break. There was a moment where I did say, like, man, I have a vibe. I'm like, my accent's different from back then. Right, right, right, yeah. Can we do this shit anymore? Can I do this again? Yeah.

And I was actually nervous for like the first take, but then it just, it just clicked. I can't explain it. Did you guys travel for that movie? We did a little bit. We shot in Miami. We were cheating a little bit of where we had. actually were. It was supposed to be like an undisclosed but beautiful tropical location. So we shot in Miami and then I think everyone made the decision that it was such an

LA show and LA's a character. And I also think that was some of the draw to the show. No one that really explored. Everything was going away from LA. Right. When we started. So we were the only ones who kind of ran into LA to shoot. So we we kept it really LA based for this. That's great. That's great. It's nice. It's nice to work at home. Yeah. Like what? Sleep in your own bed. and still have a routine and a regular life, like a personal life that's not... Any kind of a personal life on a... Well, I mean, the nice thing about an HBO show

is if you do 13 episodes, you still have most of your year. Exactly. But... But... And I think... I'm sure I've said this on the show before, but, like, the last time I was on a one-hour show, you know, you get home... You go to work at 5 a.m. on Monday.

You get home at 5 a.m. on Saturday. Right? You sleep all day just to, like, be a human being. Maybe you get your Saturday. I used to be so crazy about Saturday. Saturday night. That was your night? And I was, I did a series in Toronto. I was like, we have to go out tonight.

We have to get your night. I have to break myself. This is my one shot to be a person. Otherwise you're going to explode. Yeah, exactly. Pressure cooker. And it's not like, like, it's not the most stressful job in the world.

I'm not trying to say, but it, for those of you out there listening, and it's not like, oh, poor us, we're complaining. But look, it's, it's a lot of hours. It's work.

Just like everybody else wakes up and goes to work and likes to blow off steam on a Saturday. Right. That's what you do. And then, you know, you got to get right back up on Sunday and, you know, get your line straight and get your life straight because you have to get up at 3 o'clock on Monday morning again to go to work at 5. So to live here, to do a movie and be home, must have been so nice. Well, I really appreciated the movie portion because in those two and a half, three years, you know, I'm not saying I lit the world up by storm career-wise, but I-you-wee.

You were busy. You were really busy. I kept busy. And I worked in Baton Rouge. I worked in Shreveport. I worked in New Orleans in New Mexico. and it was great, but it made me realize when we got back to shoot entourage in L.A. It's like, you know what? And I had this big kind of question. Like, maybe I just don't love it as much as I once did, because the thought of having to leave and go away for six, seven months on location, I'm not that interested in it anymore.

The thought of shooting something in L.A. Where my friends are and my girlfriend, like that. Yes. So I don't know if I just don't love it as much or if it's just I'm lazier. I'm not sure. Well, I mean, this is a really good question because, like, there's something about appetite, right? Appetite for the work. And some of that just has to do with youth.

100%. You know what I completely agree. When you're so hungry when you're in your 20, 22, 25. Just like, it's all you just, you'll do anything, you know? And I remember like somebody saying, oh, I turn this job down because it was like I was going to have to go out of town. And I, like, there's a time in my life that I'd be like, what that was wrong with you. Why would you do that? That's what this job is.

Yeah. But I can see it now just being like, yeah, I don't want. want to be away from everything I know. I'm there a little bit. I'm not saying that I wouldn't do it or anything, but... Also, my... Then there's like a little, like a little equation there, like quality of project.

Exactly. Inversely related to time away. There is a formula to making that decision, but I... There's so... You don't get to really... There's only a handful of people in the acting entertainment business

to actually get to pick and choose their stuff. You have... There's such a lack of control. So I'm at the point where it's like, you know what? I can control at 35 and I have been working for a long time, where I live. And where I spend most of my time. And I'm choosing to spend it here. That being said, there is the formula that you have to account for.

If Steven Spielberg calls and it's like, can you come to Budapest for seven months? Yeah, I'm going to get on the fucking plane. Of course. Exactly. Man, it would be so much nicer if he's like, yeah, we're on Paramount. I'd be like, oh, Steve, great. Right over the hill. Good man.

Right over the hill. Yeah. That is such a good point. It's you have so little control over so many elements. And people look at all of us and they're like, you know, how did you choose this role? And how do I'm like, put a fucking offer to me and then I took it. That's how I chose it. Yeah, that chooses you.

Yeah, exactly. I'm not on the phone like so. You know, I'd like to be the next lead in a Tom Cruise film. If you could make that happen. Like 10 guys and five girls who get that opportunity. That's it. That's it. Exactly.

And so for the rest of us, the only control you have is your no. It's to say no. You know, yes, we, we know. we don't have the luxury of yes very much. It's funny though the way you start saying no and then all of a sudden shit starts happening. It's true. Man, I kind of go about most of the year just chilling and now all this stuff's coming at one time. Right.

Because I said no for a while. It's just so weird. Did it make you nervous saying no though to turning things down? Because as a young actor, I was like, if I don't take this job, no one's ever going to hire me again. Honestly, no, it really didn't. And again, I'm not, let's get it straight, everyone listening. I am not like piles of scripts in the house where I'm like, no, yet like, When those things come through, I do my way.

I read everything right away. I really think about it. If it's a director or someone, I watch their stuff. But for the most part, no, I honestly, I've never, I have not regretted, and I'm going to knock on wood, if that's what you're hearing. Yeah. I've never really regretted either saying, you know,

or even saying yes, even some of the bad jobs I've done, I still took something away from it. Right, right. And I, that is such a, the perfect attitude to take. I'm always like, even in a bad experience, even on a bad set, even when someone who doesn't know what they're doing, what you learn is, okay, that's what not to do.

This is how I would do it differently. And you kind of, you, and that's how you get through those negative experiences. But yeah, you can't regret to a big waste of mental energy. But I definitely appreciated shooting in L.A., getting a coffee at Earth Cafe, getting to go to the gym I go to, sleeping in my bed, and then, like, rolling in and seeing the guys I've been staring at for 10 years now. Yeah. And we're still doing it.

You know, it was a real great privilege. Yeah. Let me ask you one thing before we go back to the beginning, which is, you know, that was, that was and is remains such a popular show. And really, in my memory, like, kind of the only show of its kind, like, you know, about like that, just specifically about the concept of the entourage and about like kind of Hollywood and show business in the way that it was. And about young people in show business. And that role was like, that was your breakout role. That was like how, you know, you'd work before. Obviously, you've worked a lot after.

but that's how people know you. I'm sure they yelled a turtle at you to this day. To this day, it has decreased, thankfully, but yes, to this day, it happened on my way over here. Right, right. I got my coffee. So I wonder, you know, and all of us, I think almost every actor,

at least for a good portion of their career, until they do so many things that people kind of, those things blend, you're marked by, like, your big seminal role. The question, I guess the question I have is, what is it it was so good and now it's gone it was just something about

has it been has it been difficult for you has it has it made other roles hard has it have you had to work hard to kind of re-formulate how people see you it's just so that is a great question

and I never really gave it a lot of thought in the beginning like you get entourage I mean like I didn't even think twice about like oh wow I'm walking around in my personal life like wearing the Yankee had

and the bag of clothes. I'm like, oh, maybe I am this guy. So I was 23 when it's time. I didn't know anything. Something happened like halfway, a little more halfway through. I was shooting the series that I got worried, oh, this is all people ever going to think of me.

So I need to start branching out and showing people on more because I really, I know I'm different, but like to actually perception is reality a lot of the time. And anytime I had any kind of a meeting or any kind of an audition or whatever it was, I probably came off almost insecure.

Like, look, guys, I'm not, I'm not turtle. I'm not, like, smoking weed and do it. Like, it really came, and I put so much stress on it. Right. And, because I just want longevity. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, you want to be, you just want to stay relevant.

That's any, that, yes, that's all you us want. Longevity. I want to be able to do this for the rest of my life, even on a small level. So, yeah, a lot of it was, it was just a giant fear for me. Again, the biggest luxury we had was knowing, that after season eight we were done. So around season six,

I really started a plan of just, I'm going to get in shape because first thing people see is you physically. So that's the first way to change a perception. And I went back to the beginning, I will audition for whatever they want. I'll go pre-read with casting directors. I'll sit down and take meetings with the associate producer.

I'll go with the lowest part of the chain because, you know what, I actually don't have a movie career. Right, right. I haven't done a lot of movies, So I will start at the bottom. Right. And I got back to more blue collar lunch pail kind of shit. Yeah.

And it just started working, luckily. And sure enough, something started happening. When I was young before entourage, I would walk into a meeting or an audition. And I genuinely, I swear to God, it felt this way. If you didn't cast me, I was like, that's too bad for you. I love it. Honestly, you just don't get it. I feel sorry for you're scared.

You're a little bit. You're scared. It's all right. I scare people. I get it. My intensity. You just can't. It's too much for you.

I get it. It's all right. They didn't get it. They're lost. They'll regret those words. But then something happened halfway through when I started getting successful. It became like a panicked little, like, look at me. I'm great.

And I got back to that point. It was not nearly as smug as when I was younger, but it just became more of, look, this is what it is. And it's either going to work for you or not. Yeah. Yeah. I got lucky again. Right after Entourage ended, think like a man came along. Yeah.

And that was lightning in a bottle. Right. Seriously. And it was really... Never have known how successful that movie was going to be. No one would have guessed it. People thought... I remember at one...

I just remember when that movie came out. And it really was... It wasn't Kevin Hart's first movie. Right. Because he'd done tons of stuff and he's been at comedy for everybody. It was like, this is like the vehicle for you to show everybody what you could do.

Right. And that whole cast was so accomplished. It was loaded. That was a loaded movie. Yeah, totally. And I just remember... Because I really had never been in a... movie that really came out like that. I remember getting the numbers. It felt like an episode of

entourage. Right. They're predicting we're going to make 20 for the weekend. If we make a dollar more than that, it's great. Then it's like 25. I said a bar getting hammered. I said, I want to be drunk because if the numbers are great, we're going to celebrate. And if they're bad, carry my ass home. Right. Right. And by the end of the night, I literally get carried out of a bar basically at 2 a.m. And it's like, they're predicting like 36 for the opening weekend. It was like, are you fucking crazy. And by the way, not to be a hater, but when I remember when they were developed, that movie. I was like, what? What? Like, just not even, not even negative. Just like,

how do you make essentially like an advice book, right? I am with you. A self-help book into a narrative film. It just didn't even make any sense. I even thought that reading the script. I'm like, man, there's a lot of Steve Harvey in here. Not that it's a bad thing, but like, how does it work? Yeah. Will Packer, Tim Story, Clint Cole Pepper. They figured out a way to weave it in. And then it's a weird thing started happening. Like, I would always cat. Like, I know,

there's like two 20-year-olds who are like looking at me from across the room or whatever. Like they want that entourage. Like they want that. And it just happened out of nowhere. I think I was with my mom somewhere too at a restaurant or whatever. And like two young guys came up and I was getting ready to do the entourage stuff. And they didn't even know what entourage was. Wow.

It was all think like a man. Yeah. And that's what I'm like, oh wow, maybe this shit is working. That's just so crazy. Yeah. They didn't even because they were like 20. They'd never seen an entourage in their life. Right.

Right. God, that's incredible. I mean, that thing, and that whole thing has been like a machine, right? Like, just, like, and you never, you kind of never know. Like, you said, you have to go into everything, just thinking I'm going to do my best work. I almost didn't do it because I was like, and once I, because once I found out, I was like, Gabrielle Union, I'm like, no one's going to buy that Gabrielle Union is engaged, or wants to be engaged to me. And honestly, I don't know if I want to line up for the criticism. I don't know if I want to sign up to read the reviews in the blogs.

Yeah, right. Sure. Jerry Farre and Gabrielle Union lighting up the screen. I almost was like I was so insecure and I'm like, I don't know if I want to sign up for that shit. Right, right. Of course I did. And thank God I did. Yeah.

And it's so thoughtful that you came out in the way that you did, thinking I'm going to make sure when I come off the runway on entourage, like there's a place to land, you know, because a lot of people don't play them that way. No. And look, I have a lot of smart people who definitely help me make decisions. And they made a plan. Like Steve Levinson is my manager made a plan. And I don't think that happens often out here. A lot of people are in the incoming call business. Right, right, seriously.

And again, to be perfectly blunt, it's like, yeah, I get some incoming calls, but if we were dependent upon that for all of my business, it might be in a little bit of trouble. Right, right, exactly. We've got to make some outgoing calls to get shit done. And he and Brad said, they made a plan and they said, we're going to do everything. We're going to take everything, good, bad, and if it's bad, you just better go be good. Right, right, exactly. And let the chips fall where they make.

Seriously. That's what we did. Okay, so let's do the beginning. Oh, gosh. That's so exciting. Let me take a sip in the coffee. Should have spiked it. I got something for you if you want to drop something in.

Now, where were you born? I was born in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn. Okay. In 1979. Yeah, I'm a 70s kid, the last month of 79. And you still have your accent. Like, it's there. Yeah.

It really gets there when I get mad and I start cursing. Like, I play basketball every week. a week with friends and I'm like the hot head on the court. And I don't know where it's like, fuck you when you fucking sneakies. Don't give me that bullshit. It's like, whoa. I haven't said sneakies in five years. When you were coming up in Bensonhurst, I don't know.

But first of all, the work Bensonhurst is like very specific connotations. Yes, because like in Brooklyn, which is really small when you think about it. But when I was a kid felt so big and vast, like it literally boils down. down to like your territory of like what part of Brooklyn you're from is Ben Stuy there's Bensonhurst, this Bay Ridge there's so many different parts of Brooklyn so it just yeah just had like wherever you're from in Brooklyn there's a certain pride that comes with that right I don't know why what so this is a interesting me because I'm from born and raised in California so and I know very little about

Brooklyn except for apparently now a lot of people with well-developed facial hair there now so like how would you describe like how would you what would what would differentiate in your experience like Benson Hurst from Betzai? When I was growing up, a lot of it was definitely classified to like my neighborhood was specifically like Italian Irish. Betts die was the black neighborhood. Yeah, and then like Sunset Park was typically like Latino, Puerto Rican. It just was how it was.

This is going back literally to the early 80s. Right, yeah, yeah. Obviously, as the world continued to, who evolved those neighborhoods started evolving. And also even like in the Italian, Irish part of Brooklyn, there were sections in Bensonhurst that were territorial. Like I was from 13th Avenue. And kids from 20th Avenue, oh, they did shit like this.

We do it like this. And don't even get me started about Staten Island. They all want to be from Brooklyn. It was all this stuff. Again, I'm saying now, all of you listening, I'm talking about back then. It just was very territorial. This is where we're from. This is how we are.

And you guys are clowns if you don't do it like us. Was it combative? I mean, was it like, did you guys fight? Oh, look, it was definitely a rough neighborhood. Luckily for me, I grew up with a group of guys who, look, we're definitely not chicken shits in any way when it came to fighting. But like, we weren't bad kids where we. Right. There was a lot of bad kids growing up in that neighborhood.

There also was a lot of good kids. And, again, the neighborhood felt so big, but now looking back, it's so small because everyone knew you. shit. Right. The neighborhood was so small that everyone knew your business. Like if you're, you know, my father died of the young age, it's like everybody knew. Right. And anything that happened to you, your family, like words just would spread like wildfire. And then when you're young, the gossip, like, when girls start coming into play and like if you start messing with this girl who goes out with this, forget it. Yeah, right. In the street. And it's a very blue colony. It was the great, honestly, I know it might sound negative. It was the greatest place to grow up for me.

it prepared me for the real world I give tons of whatever success I've attributed I've gotten tons of the credit goes to growing up in Brooklyn for sure there's something that it just raises unique people I don't know why I can't put my finger on exactly what it is but um

you know it was heavily influenced by organized crime you know the mafia landed in the boroughs Brooklyn Queens the Bronx and um yeah there was a mob war that was going on in your neighborhood Oh, all, all of Brooklyn, in all the boroughs. Were you aware of that when you were a kid? No, but like there was a time, remember there was a time when there was like a body

rolled up in the carpet like once a week for like a month. They were just fine, oh, this guy got killed on this corner. Yeah. Like it just, yeah, I was a kid, but there was a full on, full scale mob war. It's in, it's, you could go read any of the books back then and it was a full on mob war going on. Did you feel safe in your neighborhood then when you were coming up? as a kid? I mean, I did because it's like similar or anything. Like you just

adapt to your surrounding so I didn't know that there was anything safer out there. And again, we weren't like totally growing up in like the craziest, scariest neighborhood ever, but the one thing about it is being that it was like kind of an organized crime-based thing. Like if you wanted to be left

alone and mind your business, you would be. That was like the weird part of it. Like if you wanted to be in that life open season. But if you kind of minded your business and stayed straight and left alone. Like, they'd kind of leave you alone for the most part. But it definitely, I had issues with not feeling safe

because I was raised by like a single mom and my father passed away real young. How old were you? I was five. Okay. Your siblings? My older brother, I believe he was nine with like three and a half years apart.

And I just remember from a very young age, like waking up in the middle of the night, maybe I was like six or seven. And like, you know, obviously it was dark, all the lights. I didn't have TV in my room or nothing. just the house, the apartment was dark. And I just thought I heard a noise.

And I remember being frozen with fear. Because I think I processed a young age, like, holy shit, my first line of defense is my mom. And I remember, like, waking around. Like, mom, I heard a noise. And she literally grabbed whatever bat or something she could find. And it was confirmed right then and there. Like, this is your first line of defense. Yeah.

Now, while that was very scary at a young age, the cool thing that started happening as I grew up is, like, honestly, I mean, you don't fuck with. with a woman. So it was actually the safest, but it was the most qualified person in the world to protect me ever. Way more probably than my dad ever was. So in actuality,

I was left in the safest hands possible. Right. You had to have that one experience to see that absolutely she was ready to fuck anybody up. Yeah. You know what? I'm gonna tell a story.

Yes. I've never told this story to anybody, even like some of my friends I grew up with. And now, you know what, 35, the statute of limitations, I don't give a shit if anyone gets me. I'm not gonna name names,

but I was playing hockey, street hockey in like my best friend's like driveway and there's like 10 of us kids playing and one kid who always used to annoy me I'm probably 10 years old you know hockey fighting's encouraged so him and I dropped the gloves

I pull his jersey over his head I start hitting him I get on top but I'm not like I'm not savagely beating him up it's more playful than anything and I was dominating out of nowhere the only thing I remember is I just took off I got like I levitated is that the right word and was thrown and I hit

to a telephone pole and like smashed my shoulder. Someone threw me. I look up and it's the kid's dad. Wow. At the time who was a full on like 40 year old grown at like man. Big ass man. Just picked me up by the back of my pants in my jersey and flung me into a telephone pole. Wow.

All my everything stopped. I looked at all my friends' faces. They turn white because they obviously we were tough kids, but then it's like that's a man. No one was looking to go protect me. Yeah. And I guess this is another like first line. of defense sort of thing. I remember

skating home and just thinking like, huh, who do I tell? Or do I tell? Do I just keep this to myself? When I tell my mom? Is my mom going to go beat the guy up and, like, defend my honor? Yes, I got uncles and stuff, but sure enough, at some point, I

just have such a close relationship with my mom. I told her. And she, I just remember, and she brought me, and I was like 10 feet away listening, and she just went off on this guy and threatened them in the way, obviously not physically. whether it was with the law or whatever. It just laid it down.

I've never, the guy was apologizing and horrified. And I just remember walking away from that. Like, you know what? That wasn't that bad. She handled that really, really well. And we just had such a dope relationship all through growing up. That's wonderful. Yeah.

Did your dad pass away suddenly? It was pretty sudden. And it's another thing I actually don't ever really talk about because also it actually was 30 years ago last month. It was so crazy. 30 years had gone by, but it was drug-related. And I actually never really tried to get tons of details because I have my own spin on what happened.

Maybe some of it's false and I created it in my head. Right, right. It's always worked for me in a weird way rather than against me. You know, he had a real tough life. He definitely grew up in the street in his own right. And then even tougher, Brooklyn was even tougher when he grew up. Right. And, yeah, he just struggled with depression.

and then escapeism and drugs helped him do that. And it caught up with him. And it was very, like, talk about the carpet being pulled out. It was very sudden. I didn't obviously, now, it was five, so the process, all that. But the great gift I ever took from that. And I've smoked a ton of weed in my life. So I'm not going to say I was like drug for,

but like I just, I will never have never, will never do a hard drug in my life. Yeah. So my coping method was always like, okay, that's the way he went out. And the gift from that is, and especially in the line of work that I'm in, I will never have a substance problem ever. It's not, like, take that card, throw it off the table. Right. It's kind of an advantage going through life, especially out here in this line of work.

Yeah, where you're surrounded by it and it can feel, it's funny because we're probably similar, but I haven't had anybody in my life dive drugs, but I just, I'm having seen what I can do to people, having friends of mine who died from it when I was, like, in high school, like in high school, crazy. You just, you look at it and you just think it's not seductive to me at all. But it's so interesting when people are still doing stuff and you're like, people still do cocaine. By the way, I agree. I'm like, do they re-release Scarface or some shit? Is that still happening?

I thought we all worked out that some fucked up shit. Do you want to hear something crazy? I do. So in the neighborhood I grew up in and then moving to L.A. and then being in the entertainment business now for 15, 20, do you know? And I say this proudly, but it's almost kind of sad. I've never seen cocaine. Wow.

Ever. That's impressive. I've seen people on cocaine. Right, right, right. No one's ever done it in front of me. I've never ever seen someone shake it out on a mirrored table and cut. I've never seen it. Which is always what, like, it's like always one of the kind of iconic scenes and movies about Hollywood, right?

Yeah. I have never seen it in live, in the flesh live. I can't think if I have. I think I saw it once. I've seen like planning people on it. because I'm not a drug person. I think sometimes you give off a vibe that you want to get a higher. You don't.

If you don't give up that vibe, nobody ever, like, brings it out in front of you, you know what I mean? But I was in a bathroom at a party once at, like, an event, actually. Like, at, like, some Hollywood, like, Beverly Hills, like, hotel. And these two drunk girls were in the bathroom. This is already awesome. Two drunk girls. They're wasted.

And the one girl's like, I'm too drunk to drive. And then it goes like, do some cocaine. It's good for you. It'll make you, it's good for you. Seriously. So you do it. What a negotiation. And I was like, and I remember thinking, again, do people still do cocaine?

It seems to me to be so, I mean, like you said, did they release Scarface? And by the way, watching Scarface would be like the most cautionary tale. Exactly. You know, like how. Yeah. That would do the total and complete opposite and probably make you want to like stay. Yeah, I just never. Again, I guess I'm not like a square.

Like whatever you do is your business. I've smoked a ton of weeds. So relax entourage fans. I know, I play this stuff. Yeah. I've smoked. So I'm not trying to say, well, I'm just saying that's how it laid out for me. Right, right.

And, uh, yeah, I even like, I remember, I never knew this. This is going to make me probably sound like a square. Like the whole, like, if someone asks you, do you party, I guess means you do you do cocaine. I'm not probably, I'm not breaking any new news here. Right, right. I just didn't know. So I just remember being out in like the height of the answer like 26th or the club. And like someone asked me, do you party?

I'm like, yeah, man. I'm doing it right. Look at it right. Oh, cool. And then I remember a bunch of people walking away, probably going to do Kogan. I'm like, where are they going? They're going to go in the party. I'm like, I thought we fucking were a party.

He's like, no, man. Like, party. Like, do you do blow? I'm like, that's what that means. Because parties are pretty broad words to just label it down the one thing. Do you party? Yeah, man, I do. Yeah, look at me.

I'm doing it. So let's go. I'm like, where there's like eight girls over here. I drink. Like, why would that? There's a party in there? No clue. adorable by the way that was adorable it's super cute um it's super super cute you can right

away tell me that you don't want to answer this question but you you said that you didn't want to know what happened to him and then you formulated your own story was that a choice to decide i'm going to decide how it happened for me i just think because i was so young that i mean how do you really even sit down and my mom did like and i just always remember my mom having like long talks about why drugs were bad. This is before I even fully knew what happened. Right, right. And she just really tried to educate us on the pitfalls of that stuff.

And it's just being so young, it was always hard to make sense of that and what it really was. And then I guess, like I said, I kind of would maybe hear things and hear other family members talk about. He was an only child, so it wasn't like I had my father's brothers or sisters to talk about his father had passed away. There wasn't a ton of people to research the man. You know, and my mom, I just always thought, like, I don't want to interrogate my mom because it's probably a tough subject for her. Right. You know.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's a sensitive area. You know, and my brother, and my brother's, as I've gotten older, and my brother's definitely filled in some of the blanks for me. And, yeah, I guess maybe it was a choice. I guess maybe it was a, to say, I don't think I was, like, making it at the time.

But if you look back, like, I guess, a. a subconscious choice of I'm going to make my own terms as to what might have happened. It's kind of the whole thing like I remember going into school after he passed away. I didn't even understand

I was in kindergarten or first grade or whatever it was. And I remember literally telling kids like my father was a spy for the Italian government. Who does that? It's like the whole like orphan saying like one day my real parents

are going to come finally. Yeah, he's off in Italy on a secret mission. Who the hell thinks that? I probably almost any normal kid trying to deal with how they feel about losing a parent. You know what I mean? Like, I think that's pretty normal.

Yeah. And also because then it gives you power over your own feelings and also your relationship to them. Do you know what I mean? 100%. When your little kid, you're pretty powerless. Yeah. And you know, it's real, I swear to God I've never talked about it in depth like this ever.

Really? I just, I don't know if it was like I was always afraid that if I said what happened, people would look at me. When I was younger, like, I just kind of got trained to like, Like, if anyone ever asked, I kind of was always like, oh, you had a heart attack or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Just some, I, years ago, I went on, like, the Rosie O'Donnell show to promote probably entourage or something. And she had asked me, you know, your parents, I said single mom, she's like, oh, your parents divorced.

Oh, no, my father passed away. And she went, oh, it's so sad. How did he pass away? And I literally went, uh, I swear to God. I, and that's what I probably started realizing, like, at some turn, I got to just come to terms with the fact that happened 30 years ago. and it's not some black eye I'm walking around with. It doesn't mean anything. It was tragic.

But yeah, one day I might even want to go fine. I literally went, heart attack. Yeah, it took you a minute. And she literally went, oh, okay, sorry, let's move on. She had mercy on me, thankfully. She had mercy on me. Clearly she knew she touched something.

Yeah, you know, also we feel differently about drugs now than, you know, look, whatever happens you when you're a kid is, you know, seared into you in ways that you aren't even always aware of. Do you know what I mean? Of course. It's so, it's so, so, so formative. But we know so much more about drugs and drug use and addiction than we did when we were kids. And, you know, even having somebody like, you know, like Philip Seymour Hoffman pass away from an overdose.

It just, or, you know, or, oh, God, I'm having, I'm literally having a stroke. Do you party? Apparently I do. The Joker Oh, Heath Ledger Yeah, Heath Ledger You know what I mean? Like people that you just kind of

Your sense of them now Like as an adult is Oh, they were complex And they were, you know And they were tortured And they were brilliant And they were wonderful And this was just something

That happened to them Rather than it being that they were a bad person Do you know what I mean? A hundred percent It doesn't It's yes, I think it's now looked at In a way where it's like, you know If you have, it's more like

Sympathetic in a way Like you have a problem Yeah Yeah And you just hope if someone does have a problem that they could actually get the, you know, again,

this was 1985. So, I mean, I feel like therapy back then was still frown the problem. You go to therapy. You tell people about your problems. Oh, seriously.

Should, I've been in therapy. I guess it's fun. I don't like it. I don't even think I necessarily need it. I just like having that room to unload a bunch of bullshit that I'm not carrying around in my house. Right. Yeah,

I just was, and by the 80s, it was scarfs. Right. It was brand new. Yeah. And I think, Like you said, I think our sense of it was just so different.

Yeah. That's so funny because you just made me think of the Sopranos. And, like, I went back to watch the Sopranos. My favorite show ever. It's such a great show. But it's so funny because I'm going back and watching it now. I didn't watch it when it first aired. And I remember, like, everybody in the show being like, he goes to therapy?

Like, that was a sign of weakness? That's the family I grew up in. Not saying that my family was, like, mafia-related, but how they used that against Tony as, like, a way to get him out of power almost. Right, right. a lot of the old time, especially, I don't want to label just to Italians, I'll just say East Coast older people, generation. Yeah, that was frowned upon. Right, right.

You don't talk to a stranger about your damn problems. You keep that shit in the house. Right, or you don't even talk about it. Just drink, shut up. Or you don't even talk about it. Strong, silent type is Tony. He always says in the show. Exactly.

Whatever happened to the strong silent type. That guy died at 39 of a heart attack because he had no one to talk to. Exactly. were you an artistic kid when you were growing up? Sounds like it was a little rough and tumbled neighborhood to be taking asking. Yeah, it is not a common practice. I was more on like a writing way. I always liked English class in writing stories.

I remember I wrote this whole story that won some mayor award. I basically flipped like Batman and the Joker and I made it that like Batman killed the Joker's parents. I don't know. I'm going off on it. but I actually shot it in my friend's backyard with the camera. Yeah, I played the penguin because I was chubby as shit. Were you a chubby kid? Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So your whole life. And it's 20, yeah. I mean, I was 205 pounds four years ago. So that just was a genetic. Yeah, like my family, we hold, we hold some weight.

You know, it's so funny. It's like, I, you know, kind of, you know, the fact that you lost so much weight was kind of this, like, you know, infamous moment on the show because you came back and you look so different. But now, like, you know, like, you're, you know, looking at you, I can't remember you the other way. Oh, I appreciate it. Yeah, like, I don't even remember that guy, which is so funny because I know it was like such a big, it was a big deal, wasn't it? It certainly gave Doug Ellen a heart attack because now he's like, you, it's supposed to

be like two months later. You can't come back and have lost 40 pounds. And also like, you know, I guess... There's a quality of Turtles character. I kind of looked at it. I just remember looking at him and laughing being like, I'm not getting the weight back. Yeah. If I am, I'm going to make you pay per pound. It's going to be expensive. Right. Seriously. And go like some new jokes, bro. Sorry, you have no more fat jokes. I love it.

That's perfect. Cue the anorexia jokes or something. Like, go right new, go, we have to write new jokes, Doug. And he did.

By the way, that, I really wish I could have been in that meeting. You know what? Just write some new jokes, bro. And he's a good friend.

I'm able to, I'm able to break his balls like that. Right, right. But back to you saying, no, acting, I mean, I think like Scott Bayo was the only actor

to come out of my neighbor at some point. Yeah. And it never was a thought or an option until I went to college. And I went to a community college in Staten Island I had already given up on academics at that point

And I just took an acting class Because I wanted to get like an easy A It was told that this teacher If you just show up gives you an A Because no one's taking his class And I went And I really started to like it And the dude failed me

And I remember going up to him And he was Mr. Kruger I'm like, why? Everyone, and I thought I was actually doing good work and shit And I know I thought I was better than most And the people who I thought I was better than got A's And I got an F. He's like, you know why?

Because you have a lot of talent and I want you to take this class again. Oh, shit. He's like, all the people got A's, they'll never come back. Right. They got their A, they're gone. I was scared you were going to do that. So I gave you an F because I want you to come back.

I said, at the time I was mad. I didn't get it. Right, like, how about a D? What are you going to show my mom something besides the Ws for withdrawal because I withdrew from every class. So I went back and I took a class and I started taking classes in the city. And like, I just remember you, being at the school yard playing like hoops and, probably smoking to join whoever

and having to leave at like 4.30 to take a train into the city, take this class, and telling my boys like I had a job. Right. In the city. I was like, ah, where I got this job, I'm working for my uncle in the city. And because I was afraid to admit them, I was taking acting class because they would have annihilated me with jokes. Right, right.

Yeah. You know, oh, he thinks he's fucking John Travolta. You know? But, yeah, and eventually just when I made the decision to move to L.A., then it was kind of just an open thing. I started doing plays and stuff. I couldn't hide it anymore. Right.

And I got to the point where I don't give a shit what you think if it's not approval. What are you doing with your life? That's so much better than what I'm doing. What was that moment? What triggered you deciding, okay, I want to do this for a living and I'm going to move to L.A.? I remember, it really was just mainly a love of TV and movies. I remember watching the movie. These had like the Sunday matinee, like double features on regular TV.

And I would sit there with my grandpa, Jerry, who I'm named after, who was a great guy. He was kind of the strong, silent type that Tony Soprano referred to. Like when I was 13, on my 13 birthday, I went to go give him a hug, and he kind of put his hand out. I was like, uh-uh.

And he put his hand out for a shake, and he said, you're 13, we do this now. Oh, wow. I never, like, hugged or kissed the man again. Wow. I know it makes him sound cold, but in his way, I think he was, like, toughening me up.

Right. I just remember watching, you know, whatever it was, Beverly Hills Cop, or whatever movie we'd watch on that matinee and just seeing this reaction that that got from him.

Yeah. And I couldn't get that from. No one in the family could kind of get that reaction from him. So it just felt like a powerful thing to me. So that was a lot of the drive. And then I just really fell in love with it because I do, I fell in love with the using all the, I don't know I want to get, I hate actory method conversations. I think a lot of it's bullshit, to be honest.

Yeah. Whatever your process is, it is. But I did at the time when I was young, I liked being able to bring anything I had. with my father in my mind or my mother or a girl who was bothering being able to channel it into something else was how I coped with a lot of stuff. Yeah. Yeah. And that was it for me.

I just, and I just actually, for the first time, felt like I was good at something that no one else I knew was good at. Yeah. It's kind of weird. I guess it's when you look back on it, it's a little maybe ego-driven.

I don't know. No, but, but you know, I mean, the flip side of that, and again, this may sound a little hippie-dippy-dippy. It is,

like, you, God, it sounds really hippie-dip. It was he found your purpose. You know what I mean? Even if it takes time, even if it's not in a moment, it's so exciting when you go, oh, this is what I meant to do. Because a lot of people never even have that moment in their life.

Or it happens to them at, you know, 35. Right, right. Like I do believe, and I've had this conversation with other actors and other professions. Like, it happens for everybody at a different time. For me, it happened when I was like 18. It happened. I knew. I'm like, this is what I'm going to try to do.

I'm going to put all my energy into. this. And I did like this weird off, off, off, off Broadway, like almost in like a restaurant, dinner theater type play that like an agent actually saw me at and said, like, come to California. You'd be great. We could get you some auditions. And I kind of was like, okay, I call your bluff. Yeah. I went for a week and had some, I had a couple of auditions and the agent said, the agency was coast to coast and said, we want to sign you. I think I was like 18 or 19. and I went back to Brooklyn and I told my mother

like I'm moving to California and I just started working every job. I give the woman credit she always said and this is very hippie-dippy but she said it and fuck if she didn't believe it

was like why not you? Like if this person can do it you can do it just as long she always was like figure out if you love this and if you do give it everything you got

and I told her I love this so she was I know deep down she was terrified She admits it to me now And she's remarried to a great guy And like he even tells me Like you have no idea how hard that was for her She never let on to me

I guess she didn't want to play into the decision Yeah But I saved up I think I saved up like two grand To move here with something like that And I was set to move just after the new year I went to a friend's Christmas party And a card game breaks out weird

In Brooklyn and a card game broke out It's a game called I don't have you ever heard of A.C. Ducey Have you ever heard this game? Basically, if I had a deck of cards and I put a two on one side and a 10 on the other, you're betting on, is the card going to come in between two and 10? So anything between 2 and 10 you win, anything above or below 2 and 10, you lose. Okay.

The varying amounts that you bet, it starts off so small, $1, $2, but then it starts doubling and doubling and doubling. There's a term called pot it. So say if there is $100 in the pot for everyone, and you get the ace. Deuce, E.C. Ducey, use the ace, which is the highest card, and the two is the low. So your odds are the best of winning. Right. It's usually, it's a pot

at hand, like you bet the whole pot. Right. If you lose, you match the pot. Okay. You lose $100. Right. If a card comes in the middle, sorry, I'm going off on that card. It's really interesting. If a card comes ace or deuce, if it's a repeat card, you double the pot. Oh. So we're playing this game and it started

outside, and I had all the cash I had in my life on me. Because you were about to take off. I was leaving in a couple of days Also, I'm not leaving that shit at home with someone. It robs my house. I felt more comfortable with it in my pocket. And we're playing and we're playing. It starts off two bucks, three bucks, whatever.

And now there's like $800 in the pot. And of course I get Ace Deuce. Okay, so you're ready. You're going to take this money. It's like, ooh, man, I can really be off to a good start with my new life in California if I win this $800 that's in the pot. Yeah. But I think, if memory serves me correct, I think I went like half the pot.

You could name how much you want to bet. You don't have to pot it. I think I was like, I'm going to bet $500 or $400 or $400. And everyone started calling me a pussy. A pussy, excuse my language. It was like, you got to pot that. It's a pot hand. A couple of older guys were there.

They're like, we'll split it with you if you lose. And we'll only, we made a deal. I said, fuck it. You know what? Only one. You get moments like this. Only someone's up pot it. Of course, what comes out, an ace.

So not only did I lose the $800, I had to double it. I lost $1, $600 in that one card. So I lost about 80, 90 percent of my whole buck. Sure enough, the guys who said they would split, they happened to walk out. Right, right, vanished. And I basically came to L.A. I scrunched together a couple hundred dollars more before. I left.

I think my brother might even give me a little bit of money. He didn't have much. So I barely came with less than a thousand bucks. Oh, my God. What did you do? Did you know anybody here? I knew two people. One person who was in my acting class and a manager who I was working with,

someone who worked in her office, I had known from New York, and I crashed on her couch for two months. And the dude I knew from my acting class, him and I got an apartment. I started working at Boston Market. Yes. Didn't have a car for two years, by the way. My first two years in L.A.

How did you get around? The bus? I knew the Burbank to Sherman Oaks route like nobody's business because that's where I lived in Burbank for 10 years when I first moved here. Oh, my God. I know for people out there who live in cities where the bus system is highly functional.

It seems crazy that I would ask how you got around. but the bus system in L.A. is busted. If I missed that, I think it was like the 9 o'clock, 9 a.m. bus to get to where I needed to go for work, the next bused it came at 1215. What? See, it's not hourly. It's worse than I even could have imagined. And this is 15 years ago, so it's even worse than it is now.

I have a, my cousin lived here for a little while, and she was a lot younger than me, and I remember, like, she didn't have a car, and I was somewhere in the valley. I knew she lived in Hollywood, and I was in the valley, way in the valley, like Van Nuys. and I saw her. I was like, how did you get here? She's like on the bus. I was like, how? How could you have gotten?

There is no way to get from there to hear on this. Like, it's impossible. It's like a math. She'd like go all the way to Santa Monica and like up the coast. It's crazy. It's literally like being on the moon with no oxygen. It's just, it's a prison sentence. Yeah.

In terms of LA. It's impossible to be a poor person here. It's so limited. And I, you know, most of my money that I did earn obviously went toward my very conservative rent and like a lot of cabs. And like giving my roommate here. I got to go to this audition. Here's $20 for gas.

Can you drive me to Culver City from Burbank? Which was like at 5 o'clock, the hardest thing in the world to do. I'd throw him 10 or $20. And he'd drive me, which is very kind of him. And eventually I started making enough money to get a car. But yeah, that was a dark but also great time. Like I had no money. I didn't know anybody.

So I wasn't going to clubs or bars when I turned 20. I would go to this little coffee shop in Toluca Lake, because that's where I lived. and I smoked back then stupidly enough and I'd buy like a $2 pack of Winstons and an ice coffee and I'd sit outside this little coffee shop and that's how I'd meet girls.

That was my former Friday night 8 o'clock. I know it doesn't sound luxurious entourage was guys and girls out there but I was on a budget and I had to rely on charm and yeah because like what do you do? Well, hey, can I buy you a coffee?

It's like I already have coffee so we're in a coffee shop. Right. And yeah, my game got tight I was going to say you would have to be a surgeon, right? Because you have no, you can't rely on the fact that they're a little tipsy or that they're even out on, they're not on the prowl at the coffee shop anyway. And if you're looking for a high-end dinner, that's not happening.

No, no. If you're looking for me to pick you up, that's not happening because I don't have a car. It's really going to be this. And then, like, I guess my move is, like, come over and watch cruel intentions or some shit. Some, like, sappy movie that maybe we'd make out. Long time ago. You do it. You use the tools that are at your disposal, though, Jerry.

Brooklyn style boy. And you know what I will say also is there's there is something ninja about that context because I mean if I was like, is this one of the one of the one of trying to pick me on outside of the comedy show? No. He's got some balls on. I don't know. You know, either I would be like the guy's got some balls on him or I'd be like, oh, how could he be?

He's so sweet. He's such a sweet. And you got to remember, I'm only like a year or two out of Brooklyn. So my hair was still slicked and I would light that cigarette. And in my mind, I look like James Dean. I mean, I probably looked like a chubby Ralph Machio in reality. In my mind, I was James Dean. Kicking it at the coffee shop.

I love it. I'm telling you, it's like everything was stacked against you. So if you could close the deal in that situation, think of how you would be able to rack it up, you know, in a bar on a Friday night. Honestly, I don't think it was ever as good as that. I don't think my success. I don't think I was ever as good as that.

When in your life and your acting life did you get entourage? Like, where were you as an actor? I started to work. I did a couple episodes of, like, King of Queens and a lot of sitcom stuff. And I never wanted, I mean, in my mind, you know, I did like theater shit. I thought I was going to be Sean Penn. So, like, selling these sitcom jokes. And I never thought I was funny.

Right. So it was always a struggle, but that's the jobs I was getting. Right. And then I got, what did I get? I got, oh, I got cast in a show, a drama that. ended up not getting picked up, then was expanded to a feature film, this really small, independent film. Now, a lot, it was myself, actor by the name of Max Greenfield, who's on New Girl, stars of Schmidt,

a great actor James Badge Dale, who was like 19 movies coming out. We were all like 20 years old, 21. We did this movie in New York, and it won some festivals. What was it called? Cross Bronx, it was called, back then. And Steve Levinson, who was the producer of Entourage, manages Mark Wahlberg. me, like signed me off that movie and was saying, hey, I got this, I got this show for you. You got it, like, I want you to play one another role.

So, but it didn't, he wasn't giving it to me. I still had to earn it. Right. I had a routine back then. I would, like, get three episodes of King of Queens, make, like, $2,500, bucks, quit whatever restaurant I was working in, live off that for, like, three, four months, go broke, and then go back to the restaurant and ask for my job back. That's what I did every time.

So, I was hoping this was, well, we were. was going to be something good. It was like, and HBO had a foothold in television, but, you know, their only comedy really was like sex in the city at that time. Right. Right.

I remember going in and auditioning, and then they would pair me up. Like, the process that, the search that they did for these characters was widespread. And I auditioned 20 or 30 times, probably getting paired up with so many people who now I still see to this day.

And like, they even come up and they're like, who would have known? And they come up and give me props. Like, who fucking we didn't know? Right, right. And I remember when I tested for the show. For those of you don't know, the testing process.

You know, they always bring like three choices for every character. And you just go in solo first. And then they pair you up with people. And I went in for my solo. And, you know, HBO's in the room. It's nerve-wracking. It's 20, 30, 20 actors in the room, all nervous. But using that nervous energy, trying to make jokes in the room.

Like, there's always like the talker. I was quiet dude. I was like B-Rabbit with the hood in the corner. I didn't want to talk. Don't try and make me fucking laugh. Right, right. And I get called in and it was like my first kind of encounter with Walberg. Okay.

He was in the room and like, fuck, it's still Walberg. Like I grew up watching him. I have a great deal of respect. So it kind of freaked me for a second. It's like a dark room. You can't see Chris Albrecht was there, was the president of HBO. And I did my first solo and it wasn't great. And I kind of walked out of the room and I was like,

yeah, it might have been all right. And in my mind, though, like, Steve Levinson represents me. I'm like, I'm going to get this. I know I'm going to get it. Mark comes out of the audition room and, like, gives me, like, waves me over. I'm like, oh, fuck. And he just, like, it starts like, he's like, in my ear talking low. And he's like, bro, he's like, what are you doing, man?

I'm like, well, he's like, you got to fucking kill it. He's seen your tapes. He's like, don't worry about the script. Don't just go be you. Like, that wasn't you. Go be the guy that I seen on tape because you don't, like, kill him. Don't, don't kill everybody. And when he meant by that was like

go worry about yourself. Right. Even when you get, because he knew I was going to get paired up with people. I don't think he wanted me to get swallowed up by somebody other, right. He's like, go stand out. This is the moment. Like, don't hold back. And I kind of fucking gathered myself and I went in and I won't name the actor. I was paired

with when I went in for my group thing, but I just fucking annihilated this dude. I went right out. And it wasn't even fair. I went off script. He was like, what does this guy do it? I just went crazy. The room started laughing. And, you know, as you know, they start sending people home.

Right. They come out of you, you, you are. You guys can go. Jerry, you stay. Kevin. And I remember the moment. It was me, Kevin Connolly, Kevin Dillon. Adrian was sent in his tape, his audition via tape.

So he wasn't present. And some other person for Vince. But three out of four were there. They sent everybody home. And we kind of read a scene. They left. We left. I'm like, all right, what does that mean?

And Doug Allen actually called me. Thank God an hour later. I didn't have to wait like 24 hours. Just called me up. I was in the 7-Eleven parking lot. I was talking to my mom and telling her how it went. I clicked over and I was like, yeah, you got it, bro. You did great.

Congratulations, bro. We started shooting in like two weeks. Click. Holy fuck. You couldn't see this at home, but I like, I totally reacted because I know what that feeling is like. It was more of, it wasn't excitement at first. It was like relief.

Then the excitement kicks in. And then you get to explain to your family where the pilot is. They have no fucking idea. No. Oh, it's great. You got a pilot? Oh, great. I'm like, no, no, mom, you don't understand.

If it gets picked up, there's like a real show on HBO. Like, I am a working actor with medical insurance that you always want me to get. Oh, nice. I hope it works out. She just didn't grasp. Right. She was excited, of course, but didn't grasp. Yeah, there's so much that happens in this world that means nothing to anybody outside of it.

And then you guys actually did make a pilot. I mean, it wasn't like a put series. No, we shot the pilot. And it was like eight months between pickup. And I had to go back to the restaurant. Oh, wow. So I shoot the pilot. I made some good money, but I vowed to, like, not be totally irresponsible and blow it all.

And I kept a job. I only worked like one day a week, but I just wanted to keep something working. And, yeah, it might have been the last six months. It took forever. And one day my phone rang. A number I didn't recognize. When you accidentally, you would still get scared back there because you didn't always have everyone's number program. Right, right.

So I saw a number. I answered it as like, hey, buddy, it's Walberg. I'm like, never called me once yet. I mean, like, hey, Walberg, what's up? He's like, we got picked up, buddy. I told you we would. I told you we would. I'm like, yeah, we're on.

We got it with season one. Get ready. Wow. Quit your job. Get your job. It just was off to the races from there. Because I can never remember anything. I mean, I remember that the show was a phenomenon.

Was it a phenomenon right away? Absolutely not. No one knew. who the hell we were. Our numbers were like okay in season one. If we were on network TV, we'd have been canceled after three episodes.

Right. Because it wasn't a juggernaut at all. We had, but we always had critical kind of acclaim, I guess you could say. But yeah, like the numbers weren't quite there. And it's the great thing about being on HBO is like they loved it.

Right. And that's really all that matters because they're a subscription-based company that didn't really have to worry about ratings because they're not selling ads. unless someone called a million people called up and said we're canceling our subscription because of entourage that really would have been the risk so you really get a chance to grow you get a fair shot to get your legs but again you know you shoot season one i made very modest but to me tons of money that to me back then

but then you have to sweat out is season two getting picked up right right what really kind of Platt pushed us was we got nominated for a Golden Globe season one for best comedy. I think Jeremy Piven and Kevin Dillon got nominated for supporting actors. So that propelled us to the pickup. But no, it was impossible to get cameos back then. All the cameos were done by favors. Usually someone connected to Mark. Right, right.

No one knew who it was. No one knew if we were like making fun of them. Right. It took a long time to figure out like the joke's not on you. You're in on the joke. Right. If you're playing yourself. That's such a good point because so much.

much of that show was what we were talking about earlier was about Hollywood and what made it feel grounded and meaningful was that the cameos were real like they were real people that you recognized it created the alternate universe right that you that made everything legitimate and I still say and I stand by this forever all the cameos are important but the most important early one uh I don't know if you recall but um you know the Vince character got cast or they wanted to cast him in this Aquaman movie and that was like the early story early years the initial joke was like, fuck, I don't want to do Aquaman. Like, that's like the worst superhero character of them all.

Right. And it kind of sounded like a shitty project at the time. Right. And Doug did the brilliant twist and somehow was able to get James Cameron. It was a big plot twist in the show. Everyone finds out secretly like, oh no, James Cameron's directing Aquaman. And it's all of a sudden like, oh, my God, I want it. It's the best job to get.

Right. And the fact that James Cameron came on played himself. I think he might have had like one point of emphasis, like, the movies. has to be, the movie has to be success. Right, right. Like, I'm not coming on and directing a bomb. Yeah, to be a piece of shit, yeah. And it became James Cameron's Aquaman.

And they even put up fake billboards all over town for it. That was a brilliant marketing tool. Really helped legitimize the fake alternate entourage blurred line universe. Right, right. When was it when you woke up and thought, oh, shit, this shows a hit? If I'm being completely honest, I operated out of fear. I sound like such a No, that's just human though

Yeah, like I just always was afraid He was gonna get ripped away from me In any moment So I never allowed myself to ever be like We're a success And I guess the great side effect from that Was it kept me very humble Yeah

And always will be Because I just do feel like I snuck into the club And every moment the bouncer Is gonna come kick me out Right But I guess around season Three I think it was Maybe it was two

I think it was three We were doing like an episode in Vegas and we were shooting by the pool at the hard rock a cabana thing and you know it was 10 o'clock in the morning they had to shut down half the pool and the other half was still open to the public they couldn't control we didn't have enough money to shut down the whole area and we're kind of walking out to go shoot this scene

I'm crossing like this bridge that goes over the pool and I just start hearing like this chant of turtle and I'm thinking like oh wow cool they paid extras to like and I look over and there's just a mob of guys and girls, but more like frat boy type guys, probably like 200 of them. Yeah. Literally screaming, turtle,

and like just blusing their mind that they're looking at me. Right. And I just remember walking, I came to Kevin Connolly first. I'm like, dude, that was the weirdest fucking thing. Like, they actually know, like, who we are.

Right. And that's where it sort of, it sort of started. I honestly, I never really allowed myself to say it was a hit until the show was done. I just never, I know like looking it was so much so much more rewarding to look back at the series a little bit before doing the movie and actually be super proud and like I'm not saying we're like a Hall of Fame show maybe to some people we are maybe the most we're not who knows but there is some form of a legacy there yeah absolutely and now I'm actually starting to enjoy it yeah I never could do it when I was in the moment yeah yeah I mean I think that's a really good way to approach it also because I think you know you can we we can in this business

definitely like count on chickens before they're hatched. And it is also a business where, by its very nature, you cannot remain on top indefinitely. I mean, nobody can do it. And if you come to this place where you think, I've made it, right? I mean, that's not just dangerous, literally. That's dangerous, like, creatively, right? Mentally to be like, this is it. I've done it.

I've arrived. Because it's impossible. This is an impossible point to maintain. It's just you don't want to start tempting the movie gods or the TV gods, because, It is such a fickle thing. Like just at any moment, I always say, like, when it's high, this is the greatest town.

To me, the greatest business. There's nowhere else you want to live. It's the greatest. And when it's low, fuck, it's the loneliest big city you will ever live in in all your life. And that's why I always try and be somewhere in the middle. Right.

Balance. Right. Just try and find somewhere. And again, going back to what we said earlier, it's like, I don't think it's so much that I don't love it anymore, because I do love it, but I have made it a point to love a lot of things. Yeah, yeah.

Because I just can, it cannot be, if it's not this, I'm incomplete. So I'm getting a lot of fulfillment in a lot of personal things and other little businesses. Like I started a podcast, which is very small and tiny, and I don't know what I'm doing, but like it can't just be that because there's no control. You know, it's out of your hands. You're basically on an airplane. Yeah. And you're all, and there's a, and you are not the pilot.

No, you're not the pilot, and you're not ever getting into that. Right. Ever, ever, ever, ever. You're not landing the plane if something happened. Yeah. So, God, that's, it's really well put. And I also think it, what that gives you is, um, it, I mean, I would, I would say this to, like you can't play real people if you're not living a real life, you know, you have to.

A hundred percent. You have to have real experiences. So true. Which balances the rest of it out. So true. Um, we're going to get to self-inflicted wounds in a minute, but. I'm scared of self-inflicted wounds because, like, I'm drawn a blank. Oh, really?

Like I... I'll try you through it. I don't know if I should go literal physical wounds or like I'm an emotional guy so I'm going like emotional wounds. I don't know which way to go. I don't know. The world is your oyster. You could take it anyway like. But we talked a little bit about it and I never asked this question of anybody before.

I don't know why I'm asking it of you now. I like that. It feels special. It's not a great question because we talked about this like, you know, the fact that you transformed yourself, like essentially between seasons. And I think actors like, you know, go up and down all the time, but not typically inside a role. Right. You know what I mean? You're right.

I said, you know, you come out a role and then that's when you change. And you had always been this other kid. It wasn't like you got overweight to play turtle. Like, this was kind of who you had been your whole life. It was a slow burn of five, 10 pounds a year. Yeah. Over the course of 10 years. It was a slow burn.

But it happened, yeah. So to make like a really radical. That must have been a really radical change in your life. I mean, yes, so many things happened to get to that point. If I really think about it now, how nobody said, it was gradual over the course of like two years that it happened. But like, it never occurred to me that like, yeah, that was like a risky thing to do. Only because like you are possibly compromising the show, you idiot. I never thought about it.

Right. I mean, and it's really dramatic because like you said, I'm not gaining the weight back. No, I mean, I'm not going back. But it's like, you know, this is not the best comparison. Come on. It's like when Felicity got her hair and everybody shit their pants. You know what I mean? Now it's not the same thing, but you're right.

I mean, people have gotten attached to you in a role and you see that character a certain way. And in a lot of ways, that's not necessarily fair to you as a person. Because it really was too. It was a health-based move. You know, you know how you go take a physical anytime you start a new job or whatever. Or at beginning of every season when you go back, they make you do it. I'm taking my physical, and I assure you out there listening, the Hollywood physical is a joke. They make sure you're not dying.

They ask you, you can tell them you're not dying. If you have a pulse and your temperature is within three degrees of normal, and if your motor scale, like if you can stand on one foot and speak, go make a movie, have fun. And I went one time for this physical, and the doctor was being really thorough. And I'm like, this is not a Hollywood physical. What are you doing? Stop. Yeah, take it easy.

Because at the time, honestly, I had gone like 10, 15 years without going to a, I don't want to call them not. I'm sorry, I shouldn't say they're not real doctors. They are, but like an intensive physical. Right, right. Because I was a bit of a hypochondriot. You were afraid that if you went, you were going to find something bad. You find something wrong. Yeah.

Yeah. And now my doctor is my best friend. I literally called the dude twice a week. I'm like, I jam my pinky. You want to just take an x-ray real quick. Smart man told me as you went through your 30s, your doctor should be on your, you should be able to call him at any time. Yeah.

Anyway. Yeah. But so I'm getting examined. Then he just started, he just laid it out there. He's like, how old are you? At the time, I think I was 29. I was just shy in my 30th birthday. And he said, listen, you're not in any physical risk at all.

You're fine. You're healthy. Go make a movie. It's great. But you're 205 pounds. You're 5 foot 7 when you're cheating and standing up, like, completely straight. Like, it's, you're fine now. I'm worried that if you continue down this path, as you get to 39.

Right. entering four. It's just, it's so much harder to start then, than it is now. Yeah. Just get a jump start on things. And he didn't try to scare me.

It just was so casual in how he said it after this scary-ass physical. I kind of was like, okay. And I talked to a friend who was in the nutrition game, and she put me on to just a way to eat. And I started it. And I would fuck up all the time. And I got advice of like,

just always, if you fuck up, just start again. Don't, don't fuck up two days in a row. Right, right. And I kind of maintain that. And it's weird because we're such a results-driven society.

The first month, there's not a ton of results. There's a little bit. And it's like that second month. It's like, oh, wow, you put on this shirt that you couldn't wear for like five years. Like, oh, it fits. And maybe a girl at the coffee shop goes, oh, hey, you lost. Where you look good. And it makes you know, you're like, oh, it's working.

Meaning not so much that people are like complimenting me because I look good. It's like the action. I'm getting a result. My body's changing. And then I finally, for once in my life, got a dick. it to something good. Right. Which was like exercise and eating right.

Yeah. Finally. It took, it took 30 years. Right, right. But it happened. And in regards to the show, I just remember literally Doug Allen was like, what the fuck are you doing? Because how long of a time, of a period of time was it between?

We'd get eight, nine months. Right. You know how much. Yeah. You know how good of shape you could be in if you weren't in great shape. Someone gave you not, you have nine months. Nine months also, essentially nine months with nothing to do but this. Exactly.

Yeah. And yeah. And you, yeah, basically. Yeah, because, you know, if you're an actor and you're lucky enough to work on a show where you're getting paid, you know, not even like great Hollywood money, just like decent Hollywood money, you can live on that money for the rest of the year without working again. And that's what I mean, like, I might have spoken incorrectly a little bit when I said, like, you know, there was a plan made. We knew we were finishing in season. It never set off like, oh, I'm just going to lose a bunch of weight to break the character. Right.

It was, it started before that and then started being like, oh, I'm going to continue down this road because that is helping. Right. So it was like a sum of all parts. but yeah freak Doug Ellen out and he did ask he's like wouldn't it be really cool if you gain the weight back for the movie I said yeah it would be charging you like a hundred thousand dollars a pound

because you're going to make me do that I need to have money that I know I just will confirm yeah I don't have to ever do anything in my life but get in shape again right right so long and yeah and I think if you haven't gone through something like that like if if you know not that's specific with anybody if you haven't worked that hard to get fit and

and known how difficult that is, it could seem really easy. But like, hey, you just gain it back and then lose it again? Like, no, I don't ever want to fucking do that again. Right. He will admit now, and I've heard him because we started doing a lot of entourage press, so I've heard him in an interview say, obviously first and foremost, we're friends, so he was happy, I was getting healthy,

but he did say it did help the evolution because all the guys needed to evolve. Right, right. And I guess my character, I'm kind of the youngest of the group, so I was the last to evolve, so it did give him a whole new set of tools. to work with, like things to explore, like, now it's not the craziest thing that he could actually maybe get a lady. I don't know. Right, right, right.

Yeah, because at the beginning it was always like, oh, turtle harked up. Yeah, I mean, I had a line in a pilot that said, make out with me, and I'll show you where Vince eats breakfast in the morning. And it worked. Which, by the way, probably a lot like that would work in the real world, too. I guess, and probably only in 2004. Right, right, right. I mean, I get at least 10 tweets a day that said you were a lot funnier when you were fat.

Oh, fuck you. Somehow, I guess, I don't, that equals funny. I never got it. I don't understand it. But you know what's interesting? That is actually, that is actually a pretty commonly held belief. Because I know people say it all the time about Jonah Hill. Which is completely false.

Yeah. And about Zach Alfenakis, too. Yeah. That like they, you know, but that, but inherent in that is, like, the buried idea that people are laughing at you. Right. Because you're the fat guy. Exactly. You know what I mean?

Rather than with you. And by the way, let's make a great argument. for so many comedians and people who are on comedies who are Kevin Hart is a very fit dude. Right, right. That dude's funny as shit. Or Ryan Reynolds, who's hilarious. Ryan Reynolds is hilarious.

Bananas fit. And if he was walking on the beach shirtless, yes, people would turn their head. Like, he's a very fit dude. Crazy fit that guy. So I don't know if I buy that, but it is entertaining to get some of those tweets. People have a lot of time on their hands.

And I just write back like, thanks. You know what? I'll gain the weight back for it. You know what? You have a good point. There's so many ways you could have responded. That's probably the most polite one. I can think of a lot of other things.

Yeah, if they only knew the sarcasm it was joking with. Okay. Now we're going to do self-inflicted wounds. I have one. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it. But it's not one up, it's not one up. Yes. I'm going to take it back.

It's, it's Thursday, so we'll call this throwback Thursday. I probably shouldn't say that something. That's okay. That's okay. But I was 13 years old, and I was in love with this girl. I'm not going to say her name because she probably listens to your show. But I'm talking, it was like my first real, like, hardcore crush. Like, I made a mixtape for this chick.

Like, just dominated my adolescent thoughts beyond belief. But I never thought I had a shot. Well, sure enough, I did. And just one night, I don't know, you're so, like, you just psyched to make, I don't know, it was like a makeout party sort of thing. Like, she, like, picked me. I was, like, the, like, we were going to get it. I think my mom's going to listen to this, so mom, you should maybe shut it off right now.

It's not going to get too detailed. He's a grown up now, though. For like two weeks in the summer, she was mine. Yeah. And then I always knew she was going away on a family summer trip, like the rest of the summer, like the month and a half, two months, I wasn't going to see her. There's our last night. We're all hanging out on the Brooklyn Street corner, being crazy kids.

We're like holding hands, but I can already feel her pulling away. She knows she's going on this trip. I don't think she ultimately really liked me. I think I was the safest choice. Right, right. And she knew she was taking off. Yeah, I want to make out with a guy for a week before I go away. I was the safest choice for her.

So I used to carry around this little like Swiss Army knife, keychain kind of thing when I was a kid. A little Swiss Army knife. So we're enjoying our last night. She just showed up. So I'm like, I didn't get one more makeout session in before she leaves. And I somehow, I remember showing the Swiss Army to a friend of mine who then wanted to mess around. He's like, let me see that. So I didn't

totally do this to myself. He helped. He's messing around as I'm talking to my dream girl. And I think he'd just seen the movie, Juice. I don't even remember Juice. Tupac, Omar Epps, a great movie. And he's like quoting the movie. One of the characters has a knife.

Ragames, I believe, and he like starts stabbing like this little garbage game. But the knife's like an inch big. It's not a very scary knife. And I turn to make a reference to the movie, just as he turn with the knife and it stabbed me in the hand. Oh wow.

I still have a little tiny scar, which doesn't look like much now, but it like totally exposed my knuckle. Oh, shit. Yeah. It didn't hurt. It was such a clean cut. I was like, ow, what the hell? And I looked down.

Then I saw the blood and I saw the white of my knuckle. Yeah. I start freaking out. Dream girls looking at me like, what just happened? I got stabbed. And immediately my friends are like, you got to go to the hospital. I'm like, no. It's my last night with Dreamgirl.

I can't go to the damn hospital. We got to make out still. It's only 7.30. I don't want to go to the hospital to get stitches. And I remember I knocked on my friend's door because his dad had some kind of medical background. I'm like, does this need stitches? He's like, yeah. You got to go.

And literally by the time I left to start my walk home to get someone to take me in the hospital, Dreamgirl's gone. Oh, this is heartbreaking. Never saw. I mean, I seen her again years later. And never reconnected. Never got back the mojo I had once with her. That's heartbreaking. I guess that's a self-me.

If I didn't carry around that dumb Swiss army that served me no purpose. Right. Whatsoever. Except to show your friends and be cool. I missed out on one of my great adolescent make-out sessions because of that. That's myself inflicted, and that just came to my mind. It's a good story. It's heartbreaking.

My heart is breaking for a 13-year-old you. Oh, man. Never saw her again, really. Years. Like a movie. then you never see her again. Like, and she's in the neighborhood, but then she comes back, but then you guys just never... Through the miracles of Facebook, though, you do get to see what happens to these people.

No, we actually have talked here and air now, and I've told her that story. She knows. I will say, and that's not a reference to Dream Girl at all, but, um... And also this is, I sound like Dick, I'm sorry, but there are people who I was so into in high school. God, I was just like, oh, I would... literally cut off a limb if I could hook up with this person. And now I'm like, oh, they're busted. Now let me, okay, can I flip table for one second,

ask you a question? Yeah. Let me see how, like, have you ever had a guy come to you years later and, like, admit, like, hey, I would, like, just so you're not, and maybe you never had a thing or whatever. Even if it was in, like, a high school kind of thing or even before, like, I had the biggest crush on you.

Is that happened to you? Never happened to me once. No girl has ever come to me in a minute. They had a great big crush on. And obviously, now they know how to track you down. They don't know who you are. No. no one has been like, oh my God, I was totally in love with you. Not one person. Isn't that so funny?

Not like I would expect it, but like nobody. What does happen now, and this probably happens to you is people like, hey, do you remember we went to high school together? And I'm like, no, I don't remember. And that's not because I'm so fancy. It's because I don't remember anything. And by the way, we probably weren't friends in high school, because if we were, then I would remember you. And everybody I was really good friends with in high school are still my really good friends. Like, I still care with people I went to, I went to eighth grade. That's so, though. Those are like my best friends. So, no, I don't. don't remember that we went to high school together we weren't best friends because if we were I would

remember you I do I always summed that up like I remember being back in brookin one time as entourage was kind of kicking up and running into a dude who I didn't know but like not well and he was like duh and we're bullshit and I gave him his moment we were catching up well I honestly maybe spent two times I've seen him twice maybe growing up but I remember his face and he literally looked at me and said dude you should come by the house for dinner one night I went I literally said I'm like motherfucker I don't even know your last name. Like, where do you live? I'm not being disrespectful.

Like, I think, like, I, like, I should, but, how do you get to that place? Right. Right. Would you ever do that to any, like, I just don't know how you get to that place. But that is such, that is so interesting to me because, look, that intimacy, it's, it's, I don't think, I think this is just a real conversation. I don't think we're being unkind here. No, no, no, no.

That's manufactured intimacy, right? We weren't this cool before. We were never this cool. Now when we were kids, not when we were growing up. and the intimacy you have in your head is shit you made up because you then saw, because I happen to have a job where you see me on TV. I could have another job that was in an office, whatever,

but just because of the job I do, now you feel like we have a relationship that we don't have. Right. And by the way, there is nothing I love more than reminiscing. And anything I've ever worked on writing-wise as a writer, it's always something nostalgic because I just, like, I'm all up for that.

I'm all up for going to dinner at your house and like talking about old times if I'd fucking really have even like even if I had like 50% more of a relationship I might have entertained like you know I'm not going to come to the house but let's go grab a coffee or something

if there were old times to reminisce about it like there was literally nothing yeah yeah I had somebody on Facebook the other day a buddy that I do know posts something about me was making fun of me because I did a bit

I'm a 40 I'm from San Francisco a 49ers fan and I did a bit for the Super Bowl like just a comedy bit for the Seahawks because the 49ers were not in the Super Bowl. All right. So that was not a fucking

available choice to me, all right? Understood. So he's like, he was like, did you see my ex friend, Aisha, and he was joking,

like, you know, fucking rapping the Seahawks is a bunch of bullshit. We're not talking anymore. And then a bunch of people jumped on that thread and they were like, that bitch was shitty

in high school. I'm like, we never knew each other and first of all, I was such a nerd. I couldn't even mean anybody because I had no friends. Oh, totally.

Honestly, I'd like to believe maybe I'm being a little presumptuix. You and I would have for sure hung out in high school. tapping myself on the shoulder a little too much. I'd like to think after this conversation and getting to know you a little more that we would have been cool.

We definitely could have kicked it, yeah. Yeah. But like the idea that like I was at any social position to be mean to anybody is a joke because I was like such a nerd. But like, and then this person's like imagining interactions. I'm like, this, this never, that none of this ever happened.

Like this never, if I ignored you, it's because we didn't know each. Right. Like it was not some like social standard thing that I was living up to. Conspiracy, we never met, so I had no reason to speak to you. But it's interesting.

That's a weird byproduct of this job, and it's fine. I'm sure you have fans who run up and hug you and act like they've known you their whole lives. I always feel like I wildly disappoint people because of like the show, but like they want that interaction. They offer me a blunt.

And they're like, let's go smoke. First of all, I don't smoke no more. And if I did, I don't know, that's some strange weed. Like, well, I don't know what the fuck's in there. No strange weed. I know how that goes. I seen Friday when Smokey Smokey,

Smoke Angel does by mistake, all right? And I'm not, it's just wouldn't happen even if I was still a stoner. Just also, like, from a personal safety standpoint, like, I just don't know you. Like, if I'm going to get high, I'll get high with people who are going to take me to the hospital if I freak out. And it is in no way please take that as, like, I'm ungrateful or, like, don't appreciate that people do want that exchange and experience.

That's why I say. like I feel like I leave them disappointed. Like I need to give them more. I, because they watch the show and they want it to be real. So in a way, I don't want to sound ungrateful like... No, but that's just real.

It's a ridiculous request. It's a ridiculous request. Like, this is what I'm basically saying. The point is, it's a ridiculous request. I get it. Yeah. In that universe, it would be a great story. But in real life, it's a ridiculous request.

And also, Jerry has just to do. And yeah, and yeah, I can't get stoned at 4 o'clock today. Like, I'm on my way to go to the Girl on Guy podcast. I'm sure she would not love if I woke if I came in there stone out of my mind. Maybe she would. I don't know. Well, I'm a very kind person. I'll support you whatever your choices are, but probably would have affected the quality of the show.

Now, I'll put links to your podcast up because I think that would be great to drive people to your show. But tell me the name of it. It's called Bad for Business because it could literally be bad for business. And also my girlfriend is the producer. Oh, cool. And she, because I know nothing about technology. She's a journalism graduate and literally has put the whole thing together. only because I loved radio when I was a kid.

I didn't have a TV in my room, so I grew up listening to Sports Talk Radio, Howard Sterner. Like, I just love radio. Yeah. And then also listening to podcasts like yours and just, again, I carve out a very little tiny piece that's made me happy to this point. You know, it's really, really cool that I could do it from my house. Yeah.

And she's in there with me, and it's just a lot of fun. And it's something that's yours, right? That's the thing I love about it. It's your own. And it can be whatever you want it to be. And I also kid myself. I think I just love to hear myself talk. As much as it

I love to hear myself talk. It's awful. I will say you are a very enjoyable person to listen to talk. I was just saying, I was like, Ferrar's got to like just, there's some quality about your voice, your accent,

the whole thing is just very... I think I have a high-pitched voice. No, no, you have a nice manly voice. The accent, it's all working. All right, take it. Falkin' sneek is... Just imagine that shit coming at you out of the dark slick back hair

1997 no no this is like 29 coffee shop you know what I'm gonna call it out because I don't live in Toluca Lake anymore Priscilla's on Riverside

give them a little shout I could put a little plaque up signed up to you with a Jerry Ferrari used to pick up on girls well played it was really nice talking with you it was great seriously this is killer yay

that was Jerry Ferrara and that was a great conversation and you know it and I know it and I'm glad that we're both on the same page. I adored it. I adored it. I adored it. God, it was just so much fun to talk to. I love making this show. I mean, that's the upshot. I love making this show. And I love making it for you. And I apologize for nothing this week, not one thing. It is a delight to make this show. It is it like to meet these people. And it is it like that you spend time listening to it. You know what to do. Come follow me. friend me on Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram, Twitter, at my three handles.

Aisha Tyler, Girl on Guy, and Courage and Stone. Come write me a letter. Go to iTunes and rate the show and write a comment. Keep Girl and Guy on top. Keep yourselves on top. Go get your Girl on Guy gear at girlengai.net. And then get ready for the fan appreciation event, which is going to be more epic than ever.

Every year I do something bigger and better. This year will be no different. new gifts, new experiences, new fun things. If you've come before, you know how awesome it is. If you haven't come before, this is your year. Get ready for that. It's happening in July at Comic-Con. And there'll be more news and more information about that as it comes up. But Comic-Con is the week of July 6th.

It runs July 8th through the 12th. So be prepared for that. Take some time off work. Be ready. Be ready for these experiences. Life is about experiences, right? We can't take any of this shit with us. So be fucking ready for whatever comes.

That's my suggestion to you. It's not advice. You can take it or leave it. It's just a suggestion. You guys are the greatest. The greatest. You are my army. You are stupendous.

You are dazzling. You are devastating. And you are Legion. It's summer. Go eat some ice cream. Talk to in the next one. Late. Girl on Guy is a production of Hot Machine.

Blowing shit up since 2009.