Girl on Guy with Aisha Tyler - girl on guy 205: robert patrick

Episode Date: November 25, 2015

join robert patrick of scorpion and a zillion other things and aisha as they slice through discovering yourself, losing your roots, finding your way, staying on top, and working with clint. plus robert rises from ashes stronger than ever before. like, terminator strong. girl on guy cannot be bargained with. it cannot be reasoned with. and it absolutely will not stop.

This is Girl on Guy. Hey everybody, welcome to Girl on Guy 205. Welcome to the show. It's Thanksgiving week. I hope all of you out there are finding whatever it is that is most meaningful in your life to be thankful about. Sometimes Thanksgiving is a time of massive anxiety and a bunch of internal feelings of fuck this noise. But it doesn't have to be a traditional holiday for you. It should be whatever you want it to be.

So if what it is is you hiding in your house, mainlining Netflix, or just completely binging on whatever Xbox game you are playing until your eyes roll in their sockets, then do that. There's no right way to enjoy this holiday. Just do what feels good to you. That's what this should be about. Family or no family. If your family sucks.

But you, right? You, your own family. So make yourself feel happy. That's what I say about that. And then also eat until you pass out on the floor and a bit of drool escapes from the corner of your mouth. That's entirely valid choice. So this is an advertising free episode of Girl and Guy, I am thrilled to say.

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This episode, ladies and gentlemen, is with Robert Patrick, the actor Robert Patrick. Now, I could list his incredibly impressive and long curriculum vitae, his very, very long bio, but what I will say about him, and this is unfair because he's done so much stuff and he's so cool. And he's such a talented actor. I mean, like, he's really a badass. I'm going to say three things about him. We work together in the critically acclaimed and widely successful ping pong combat movie Balls of Fury. And he is now on a television show on CBS called Scorpion, but you probably know him best. You probably know him best as T-1000, the antagonist in Terminator Two Judgment Day, the naughty Terminator. I don't think he'd be thrilled that I described him

as the naughty terminator, but he was the naughty terminator, the hot and naughty terminator. But he's done so much stuff. I'm going to list a few of the films he's been in. It's too long to get through here. And so for more information, you can visit Girlin. Got on and click on his page to get links to all the stuff he's done. But Copeland, walk the line, flags of our fathers, we are Marshall. Safe House.

Oh, he was so amazing in Safe House. One of my favorite films of all time. Watch Safe House. And if you haven't watched Safe House, watch it. And if you have, watch it again. The X-Files, the Sopranos, Sons of Anarchy. He's a badass. And by the way, he is such a lovely person.

And it was such a get for me to sit down with him in the bunker. And because I love action movies, you know that. And because I was raised, I feel like the seminal film spring when I was a kid were diehard, the diehard franchise and the Terminator franchise. I saw both of those films just repeatedly ad-nostic. nauseam. He was in Diehard 2, and he was in T2. He was just such a formative actor for me when I was a kid. And then to get to sit down with him was just fucking amazing. And that's all I can me say about that. And then he was awesome, right? So sitting down with him was awesome. Then he was

awesome. And you're about to experience that awesome right this minute. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Girl on Guy, 205 with the extraordinary actor, Mr. Robert Patrick of one million films and the television series currently Scorpion coming at you straight out of the spanking new girl and guy bunker and right into your face all of us have our phones

and then between like roles everyone's just like pulling them out and I mean even if we're not like all ignoring each other but we're you know everyone has their phone at all the time I don't know if is it like that on your show you have a people on your show too yeah without throwing them all under the bus but they they

They all pretty much have their phones on the side. I'm an old school guy. Yeah, you don't bring it. And I don't bring it partly because I know myself and I know that it sucks me into the point out I'm completely distracted by the phone and what's on it. I want to try to keep my head in the scene. And I'm not admonishing anybody for doing it. Everybody can do what they can do. I can't multitask quite as well as some people, I guess.

is the word for it. So I try to stay focused. I have my acting coach on the set, and I usually sit by the sound guys. They can come up with ways to distract me, but I like to engage in conversations with people. And I'm very rare, you know, I've been scared, though, but, you know, I mean, you go on a Clint Eastwood set,

and you're working with him, and there's no cell phones allowed on that side. Oh, wow. So, you know, I'm kind of, From that, I kind of carry that over. It doesn't mean that every once in a while I will bring it on the set and take a behind-the-scenes photo because I want to try to keep up to social media. Yeah, yeah, which is like a burden.

You know, you've got to feed that beast, I think, a little bit. Yeah, exactly. Good analogy. So I'll bring it on there and pop a few picks every once in a while, but try to keep my head in the game. I never welcomed you the show, Robert Patrick. It's early in the morning, everybody. I literally did my mouth just malfunction. Robert Patrick, welcome to my show.

I thought you're going to call me by my character on Sons of Anarchy. It was Les Packard. Oh, really? And where people... It was close. Robert Packard. Robert Patrick. Now, I have so many questions for you.

Oh, boy, good. God, it's... But you just brought one up for me that I hadn't thought of, and I want to know what it was like. So every actor that's worked with Clint, I think of all of the directors. And, I mean, you know, and there's some pretty, like, big stars in the kind of the film constellation. everybody just rhapsodizes about working with him and I wonder what that was like for you

Did you know, had you heard stories about what he was like As a director before you worked with him? I had, I had heard some stories And I think during the casting process I was doing a, what was I doing at the time? I was doing an NCIS, no, I was doing an episode of SUV When I got sides for flags of our fathers

And I went to the audition in New York with the casting director and I read for her and going in that whole process I had heard that, you know, like he shoots the rehearsals. There's, you know, you've got to be ready. Yeah, yeah. So I was super prepared.

And lo and behold, when I showed up on the set, you know, he did shoot the rehearsals. I mean, it was just, you know, you better know what I hired you because I expect you to come in and be ready to roll. Yeah, yeah. And it was a little daunting because Flags on Our Fathers was such a big, epic scoping movie about the invasion of UOjima. And I was playing a Marine that gave the order to put the flag up on top of Surabachi.

Chandler Johnson is a legendary Marine. And I, you know, when you're like dayplay on a gig, you know, you kind of got to come in and a lot's expected of you. Yes. Yeah, you don't get a warm up period. Yeah, if you're not on the run of the show, you're coming in, you've got to hit your thing, and you've got to be ready. So you've already got that going on. But the added thing of, you know, Clint, he didn't mess around, man. He's going to shut.

He's going to put those cameras on you, and he's going to roll. Oh, God. You better know your shit. And it was exactly like that. But I've also heard that he's very kind to. Yeah. Well, the other aspect of working with Mr. Eastwood, growing up with him, he, he, he, he, He is a legendary figure, and especially to me.

I mean, I can imitate if I want to, and I can see it creeping into my work sometimes in certain situations where it's kind of like I've created my own little Eastwood moment. Right. And I can't help it because he's such a, had such a big impact on me and might be one of the reasons why I drifted towards being in the movies. So I met him on the set, and I... I'm, you know, just standing there in front of one of my heroes going, oh, my God, I got to keep my shit together. Because I got to be cool.

I've worked with other big stars, too, but, boy, this is different, you know. I mean, I'm, I so want to be good. Right. And he had a really good way of easing you down. I think he senses that, that he's got that kind of impact on people. And he was funny. He was charming. He was personable.

He was supportive. and congratulatory and, you know, it really felt good. And I had a huge speech to do on this ship. And I remember they set the ship out to sail. The SS Victory Lane out there that they keep in Long Beach, and they had it sailing around. And I had been running and running and running all this exposition about the invasion and working it, because, you know.

And I went up on a line. We got the first take flawlessly. is me and Norm McDone, uh, uh, uh, McDonough,

Neil McDonough. Neil McDonough, yeah. Not Norm, Neil McDonough. And, uh, he was flawless.

And, uh, I, I went up on a line in the middle of a thing and I just, just, yeah, I've got like 500 extras around me and I'm doing,

I'm keeping it together and I'm going, I found my way back and I restart and got through it. First take was flawless for both of us, but, yeah. And I felt so bad that I had done that. I was like, But that's so funny, Robert, because you've been in so many films and television shows.

I mean, and obviously this film is deep into your career. How many times a day on any set? How many times a day on Scorpion does anybody go up on a line? It's like every take almost. You know what's interesting about that? I had never, I don't know about you, but I had never had that experience where, you know, I always showed up and prided myself on being super prepared, and I couldn't deal with. with messing up.

Right. I didn't like it. Yeah, which must have felt really unusual because I think in every other context we're pretty forgiving, not just of ourselves but of other actors, like when another actor goes up and they're like, oh, guys, I'm sorry. You're like, oh, it's fine.

Like, we'll start over. But it's inexcusable when I do it myself. In all of your life, or was it just in this context? In the acting world. I mean, I really... It took me a while to get over. I don't know.

I don't know. I mean, I think maybe during... when I was doing the run of the X-Files, is the first time that the pressure and the demands of it's so much dialogue coming at you, so fast that I started going up. And I think they originally on the X-Files, I think they thought I had Tourette's because when I started messing up, I went on these, you know, these cussing turns.

You know, complete Tourette's syndrome just, and everybody was looking at me. It was just like, dude, you just blew a line. And it was like, and it took me a while to kind of work through that. where it's okay, man, you're not perfect. And I've since, you know, I mean, I've been doing this for 30 years, and I've seen other great actors that I respect. I've seen them go up their minds and have a hard time. And then you go like, oh, yeah, well, a perfect example.

And I don't think Mr. Issa wouldn't mind me telling the story when I was doing trouble with the curb with him. Same sort of situation. This time I'm working with him as an actor. Yeah. And he had this huge monologue to do. And it was, you know, I saw him over. there with the script girl running the monologue, and he got it right.

I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't really honestly know if he got it word perfect. Right, right. But it was, it was a task for him too. It's a task for anybody. As a matter of fact, when we were doing this scene on flags of our fathers, he came out to me and Neil and said, I don't know how you guys do that. Yeah. I don't know how you do those big speeches like that.

Yeah. I think we're, you know, as performers, we've all been there and we've seen it. And I know, and you know, being on your show, that when you're the regular, you have a high bar for yourself. And then when guest stars come in and they start going up on lines, I don't know. I kind of look at them and go, like, all right, you've had a little bit more time with this than I have. And also you're a guest. And I mean, and when you come in as the guest, you do not want to be the person who takes a big dump in the middle of the scene. Yeah, no, totally.

There's nothing worse than flop swat. Which I have, I'm literally in like a constant state of fluff. You are not. Oh, you know. You're flawless. Well, because, no, and here's the thing. Okay, so this is interesting because I'm going to make a presumption about you that you can either confirm or deny. But, you know, hearing you say when I go, when I would go up on X-Files, I would, you know, I would lose my, that would lose my ship.

It makes me think you must be a perfectionist, just generally in your life. I think I am. I think I'm pretty, I have a way. You know, it's funny, I was just, this is still acting related, but I was just having a conversation with my showrunner about ADR. And I was frustrated because I, some of the stuff that I'm being asked to correct, or it's the actual thing that I was trying to do. Right, right, right, right.

And so there's a little bit of a pushback on, hey, man. So just quickly, for people who don't know, ADR stands for additional dialogue recording, and it's when you go back in after the show's been cut together, and maybe a line was inaudible, or sometimes, they want you to undo what you've done, I guess. Yeah, sometimes, sometimes it's like the way you throw away the dialogue so well that they want you to kind of hit the dialogue a little bit more specifically to tell the story. And there's that pushback, give and take.

And I don't know, ADR is an example where I can't just, I'm not going to, I can't just do a line reading. Right. I really, it has to really be the way I hear it. And that's the artistry, I think. So, and in my life, you know, I have things the way I want them, and I try to control them. And, you know, I'm still dealing with that as I grow older and older that, you know, I have to kind of give that up a little bit.

I don't, it's an interesting thing as an artist. Like, where do you, where do you give in? Like, the spark in your, and the spark that you know here, and you're going like, yeah, you know, it's just not right. I think we all deal with that. I mean, from Bruce Springsteen. who labored for like nine months doing born to run the record over and over and over and over at what point and if you do give in did you cave in right god this is such a good question Robert

god okay wow so i i mean i'm going to throw it right back at you but i i think it's interesting because i i feel like the pursuit of perfection um can be very transporting right it can be like a noble pursuit especially as anybody, like an athlete, but like, let's just say as an artist, because I think that pursuit is what drives people to do great work, right? Like, no one ever did anything great by, like, saying, I'm going to kind of, you know, lay it up, or let's see how this goes.

You know what I mean? No, no, you know, Steve Jobs wasn't like, let's see if we can make a phone that makes calls. You know what I mean? It's like, and there's an arrogance to that, but like take the negative aspect of arrogance out of it, right? You cannot be great without aspiring to grow, greatness that takes a certain amount of relentlessness and an uncompromising personality, right?

Yeah. But at the same time, and especially with art, you were just talking about the fact that they would say they wanted you to correct like an aspect of your performance, but whatever was imperfect to them was what you were creating, right? Right. That imperfection was probably imperfection, in quotes, was what made it real. That's right. And I think that there's always a push pill between.

perfection and the authenticity and the like the texture that comes with when things are imperfect that's the beauty that's the art so you know you can have you can throw up a bad chord when you're on stage but actually you might take that into a riff that's another it's like when Jimmy Hendricks did the national anthem

no yes right and some people said like well that what kind of read it's like a mutilation yeah and he went well I thought it was beautiful it's his interpretation Right. So flaws and awe are what make it beautiful and make it real. And even though you're striving for what you're saying is perfect, it's what you feel. And there are mistakes within that perfection that you're going for to make it more real.

More, more real, right? People slur words. Yes, they stutter. They stutter. You know, David Mamet, right? all those, for a reason when he puts that in there, because that's how people really, really are. So there's that fine line

of fighting for that, and sometimes, you know, you're just going like, wow, God, they're just, you know, you feel like I'm getting beaten down, but if I surrender, then I've quit. Right. And then who am I then?

Then I'm not the person I thought I was. Well, you know what I mean? So here's the other interesting thing, because I feel like it's, you know. You get it, though. I do. The way you just articulate it was perfect. I see it so much, and I know, I know exactly what you're saying, because also it's very difficult

when you are an artist within a larger machine to, sometimes you have to seed ground because it's just not yours to hold. You know what I mean? Like, there's times on you. And I think you also have to choose, like, which of these fights is most critical to me? Which one will I bleed for? And, you know, one of the reasons I started the podcast was because I just wanted something that was mine. You know what I mean?

Like, fully mine. And, you know, people know that, you know, I curse in the show and I throw it up exactly how it is. And I don't go back and, like, try to, you know, curate and cut all the little sharp edges off. Like, that's what makes the show interesting. Not perfect by any means. But I think that's, you know, you're always navigating that line, especially in this town, which is such a big. business, you know, and a lot of what we're making isn't really supposed to be real. It's this heightened, sparkly, perfected kind of concept of what's real. It's, you know, it's really hard.

And we're, and that's exactly, that's exactly that what you're saying is, is, uh, what I think I put on my own shoulders. And I can't say that, you know, in my own life, you know, I'm the perfect dad. I'm the perfect husband. I know I screw up. I mean, you know, that's, I, I, I, I, I, That's just being human, though. But that's being human. You've got to try and fail. And so all this is wrapped up, I think, your original question. You know, I have to be fearless to try to do stuff that could potentially be great,

but I have to be willing to accept the fact that I may fail tragically trying to do it. But still finding that thread of truth that I'm holding on to that makes it, palpable for me to continue doing what I'm doing in the form that I'm doing it. Right? Yeah. Like so I mean, I'm on a show right now that

we do these huge concepts and big storylines of you know, protecting the world and saving the world and we go off on these things and you kind of got to find that thread what's the truth? You know, what are my relationships?

And that works for me. I like that I love my show that I do by the way Scorpion Monday nights 9 o'clock on CVS don't worry I'll plug this shit out of it I wait but top and bottom it's my day it's my but within that world I would you know I've all I also come from doing the Sopranos yeah and you God you just the breadth of your work is so incredible and I love that and I love that show and I want to bring elements of that to what I'm doing now you want to bring elements of it you know all your work that you've done to it. And believe you me, I've got a list of films that are complete garbage

on my resume. But that's a different story. So do all of us, though. You have to make a living. You do. And you, one of the reasons why you have so much, you've had so much relevance over such a long period of time is because you were always working. You know what I mean? I think that you cannot

have a 30-year career in this business and not have a couple of stinkers. And I think, like, really early on on the show, I was saying everybody has their legend. Do you remember that movie that Tom Cruise did where he was like running out of You know what? Everybody's got their legend. Yeah. Mr. Cruz, yeah, that was on a bigger budget level.

I mean, I've got like, oh, God, I've got some in my, you know. It's also how I got in the business back in the early 80s. I mean, I came out of here. I lived in my car. You know, I was this dude from Ohio that came out of here. I wasn't even sure what the hell I was doing. I didn't really, excuse me. I didn't really know if I had any talent.

I thought I did. I had this burning desire to try it. And I'm really, really proud of it. of what I've been able to accomplish. And it's interesting when I hear someone say, you've been doing this for 30 years, and I go, God dang, I have, man. That's fucking massive.

I can't believe. It's incredible. And I, you know, my wife will pat me on the back and remind me, you know, when I'm feeling down. You know, I'm sort of meandering with this conversation. This is your hour. I wish I had more talents in other areas. Like when I was walking in here with your assistant, Jerry, and I was saying that, you know, I'm looking at this area and I'm talking about my daughter being away at college and everything.

She's probably going to want to be an actress. And I'm pushing her to really study literature and learning how to write for herself and maybe create her own projects. Because that's been one of the things that I'm the most frustrated about is you would think that a guy that's been doing this for 30 years maybe could come up with his own script. never really had the time to sit down and write one. I don't even know if I have any talent. I don't think I could write a script, even though I can criticize the hell out of anybody else. You know what I mean?

But I'm a little frustrated by it, and I deal with these frustrations. And I, you know, I envy you in a very positive way because you've got this, all this stuff that you've got going on. And I'm like, I'm a one-trick pony, buddy. No, see, no, I hear what you're saying, but I'm going to disagree with you slightly. what I'm going to say is that a lot of what I do came out of the same set of frustrations.

Do you know what I mean? That I wasn't seeing things that I was excited about. There were parts I wanted that I wasn't getting offered or I didn't have a crack at. And it was a way early in my career to the diversity was a way to engage myself creatively so I didn't go crazy. Because you know you have periods of your life when you're really, really busy and your periods of life as an actor where you're not. Yeah. And just developing this other stuff was a way to stay engaged. So I didn't, you know, sit at home and start drinking in 1030.

the morning, which, you know, I may or may not have done at points in my life. Well, I've done that. I don't know if now's the time. I'm sitting here like, I've done that. I mean, I, I hear you. And I've tried to get busy on it. I mean, I produced a couple of films in the early 90s with some partners. And I, you know, I, why am I bringing this up?

Maybe because there's a part of me going like, maybe I should be, maybe I should be, maybe I should try to direct or do I want to do that? But why not try? I mean, because the things you won't know until you try. For me, a lot of this shit was like, let me see how it goes.

I mean, just like what you were talking about before. If I fail, I won't be laying awake at night thinking what would have happened. I did it. It didn't work. I didn't like it or whatever. It wasn't my skill set. And then I moved on.

But it never came because I thought, oh, I'm going to be great at this. It just came because I thought, let me just try my damnedest. And see what happens. And see what happens, you know? Yeah. And I think my career is totally based on that reality of coming out here and saying,

I really want to do this. Let's see if I can make it happen. I'm going to do the first step, which is try. Right, right. Yeah. And that was a big hurdle to get over, to get out here to do it. It was like, you know, I mean, you know, the motivator that got me out here was, you know, all of a sudden it dawned to me.

You've got one life to live. and it's your movie, buddy. I mean, how do you cast yourself? How do you want to go about doing it? And this is what I was drifted to. I want to tell stories. I want to be that guy up there on the big screen helping tell that story.

You know, that kind of thing. Now you get out here, and then you're kind of going like, well, you know, what else can I do? I mean, I love acting. Don't get me wrong. But that, you know, that's the same thing that pushed, I'm sure, Mr. Eastwood into wanting to direct.

There's that, he's a jazz musician, He's the first one too Because, you know, people think about this kind of actor-director as being a relatively new invention And there are some people doing it beautifully now And I mean, Ben Affleck, as I was just about to say him, he's a kicking ass You know, I'll go I did his screen test for Armageddon Oh, wow

Michael Bay called me in to do the Bruce Willis role Oh, wow For his screen test I was there this was before Goodwill Hunting came out and I met this big, tall, great guy, super smart kid, and he was brilliant. He was great.

It was a little sidebar. I had to tell you that. No, it's a great story. And I think he show, what he's done now is kind of show the rest of us as actors, like a couple of things. You know, he was just in a place where no one, everyone thought he was done.

You know what I mean? That he had made a bunch of bad choices, which we've, you know, or whatever. I don't know, a lot of us make a choice because it makes sense to us, and then it goes or it doesn't go our way. Or your agent makes that choice. Yeah, they tell you this is the right.

You should pick this. It's going to be good for you, daredevil, whatever it is. We've all had that conversation. But he had made a couple of choices that hadn't worked. I think people have completely written him off as a non entity. I was like really like a nod. And he was just like, fuck everybody. I'm going to show you what I can do.

But then he did the work too. You know what I mean? And I think as actors, when you look at a guy like that who everybody kind of thought was just like a pretty boy and a flash in the pan, what he's been able to accomplish. It's a big fuck you to the end. It is like a double finger.

Feel free to sit on whatever hand feels comfortable. It's so great. But Clint was the first guy to do that. He was the first guy to be and also to act in his own films. And so when you bring it up now and people kind of poo-poo you as an actor, like, oh, come on, it's too much. And you go, like, guys, I've been doing this for decades now. Like, this isn't a new idea. I don't know.

Both of them, I think, are just so impressive as artists. Big time. You know, both of them, fantastic filmmakers, you know, and... But I think, salient to you is, you know, not like you ask my ideas or advice, but I just think you're sitting there saying, you know, like, I don't know if I can do it. You're at a great position because you have a hit show,

and I always think that the best place to operate, to take risks from is when you've got some kind of creative security on one side. You've got the bills are paid. You've got a gig, you know what I mean? And people are paying attention to you because you've got something on. And then that's like this great launching pad, you know, for whatever side things you want to do.

I think I'm working up to it. I think I'm working up to ask him my guys, and I'm going to call you up and say, hey, I'm going to do this. Give me another pet talk. Absolutely. But I think I'm working up to it. I want to see what happens. People pick up the phone when you're on a show.

You know what I mean? They just do in a way that it's always the time. You know what I mean? It's like the door is open and just kick the door off the hinges so it doesn't close again. Yeah. And I find myself kind of, you know, I've been doing this a long time. I've done like 100, some odd movies.

I mean, you would think I've learned something. You have. Right? No, I know you have. I know. So, okay, quick, quick story. And then we're going to start. We're going to ask you about when you were you grew up and stuff like that.

But I just, I was telling you I did a little short film. But right before that, a friend of mine was doing a web series and asked me to direct a couple episodes. And it was good. I thought, oh, this will limber up on this, right? And I got there in the first day, and I didn't know anybody because it had been prepped for me. I just flew in and landed to do this. this thing. And I walk on set and the actors are over there and I'm like immediately thinking, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. You know what I mean? Like what the hell is going on here?

And then I was like, well, what happens in the first day, bit of the morning when I walk on set? I'm an actor. And I just did all the stuff. It literally was just like muscle memory, right? I went over. I said, let's read the words. They read the words. I gave them some notes. Let's put it on some meat. I've been the other side of that conversation so many times that once I started it, it just came out of me. Do you know what I mean? And I think, I'm not saying every actor is a director but what I am saying is there's no one better equipped to talk to actors and make them feel comfortable you have you know when you talk to a director who can't tell you what they want you want to punch everybody near you in the face you know what I mean but when you get a director who can

who knows how to express what they need from you and they're not giving you a line reading or telling you faster or stand up you know what I mean that's the standard yeah so I think I think you know you know you do in fact I know you and there are the guys that have got the best performances out of me like the James Mangold. Oh, yeah. He's a Copland. Copland and walked the line. Oh, yeah.

Both of those. He directed me and both of those. And he's probably the guy that I would want to emulate the most, I think, that I've worked with because he's really been able to get great performances from me. Yeah. And I know it. Yeah, and you probably, if you thought back on those experiences, could parse out. exactly what it was about working with him that brought out the best in you, you know.

He had a vision. He knew what he wanted. He trusted me to do it. But he also within that, he knew me how to kind of steer me in that direction in a way that I felt like I found it myself. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm smart enough to know that. And I don't know if he really put that much thought behind it, but I feel like that's what happened.

I feel like it's a real collaborative effort with him. And I think ultimately that's what we want. We want to be respected. And we want to be respected with what we've brought to the table. And I know I can do it. Help me find it. And I'll trust you. But if I don't feel like you're capable, I'll write you off.

Right. I don't know if that's, I don't suffer fools well. Or I don't know if I don't know if that's what that means. But if I can kind of see through that you don't know. Yeah. Yeah, you don't want, yeah. Oh, I understand. I'm not going, I'm not sure I'm going down that path with you.

Well, there's nothing more terrifying than getting notes from a director and realizing they're making your performance first. Yeah. Because, you know, in the end, no one's going to blame the director for your shitty performance. They're just going to be like, man, that person sucked. I mean, that's the thing. You know it. It doesn't matter. Even if the movie is bad, I always tell people, if there's one bad performance, it's the actress for all the whole, all the performances in a film were bad.

That was the director. But still, no one is ever going to be. and play me director. This can be like, oh, Aisha, she was up there, just shit in the bed, all not, you know, the whole time. And you have to take responsibility for your own performance. Because you're up there. And that's forever. And I've, and I've been in incredibly bad movies where I'm fine with my performance. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Or I'm like, I knew exactly why I took that role. I thought I could do something with it. I did what I wanted with it. Movie turned out like shit, but that's not my fault. I mean, I'm okay. I treat them all like

to the same. I don't care what the budget is. You know, I haven't done one lately, but I I mean, I've even done, like, short films for people where I think it's an interesting idea. There's no money involved. I'm just doing it from an artistic point of view. And they turned out fantastic. Two incredibly big budget movies that are just turds. Yeah, like a sprawling turds. Yeah, you're just going like, yeah.

So it doesn't matter what the budget is in the environment. If you've got cameras, you've got a chance to create truth. Yeah, yeah. And that's what you're trying to find. You can get there. You know. Let's talk about you. No.

More about you. There's nothing to say about me. I'm just some crazy guy. No, we're going to do it. Now, where were you born? I was born in Marietta, Georgia in 1958. My birthday was two days ago. I'm 57 years old.

What did you do for your birthday? I worked. And I was very happy. Yeah, yeah. You know, it's my happy place working. And we, well, I got to tell you about this, because I'm pretty freaking proud about this. The day before, I did the single, I think, gnarliest stunt I have ever done in my life.

On Scorpion? And I want to show you a picture, not now, but I'll show you later. I was suspended on a wire off a crane in a harness, 270 feet above the earth. Samuel B. More Dam. We have to fix a ruptured dam on the show. And they dropped me down, and I literally worked the prop and sprayed it, and I'm on this

massive dam on one carabiner and a harness on the line. And I did one of those where I said, you know, I got to get more slack, I got to reach this spot, where I ran over on the dam this way, and I ran all right across. Three cameras, just the ultimate high, man. This is the day before your birthday?

Day before. That was, that's how I really spent it. And I just had the best time. But the next day we were working in an interior set of the show for the Dam. And, you know, they give you the happy birthday. Yeah, they bring you some cake on set and stuff. They brought me a cake. And I'm trying to watch my weight.

Of course, they're all screaming at me. I got to eat it. And I just took the whole piece of cake that they'd cut for me in front of the whole crew and shoved it in my mouth. Nice. Nicely done. That was how I did. And then my wife made me a nice steak dinner when I got home and my son and my wife.

And we, you know, that's us. Yeah. No, it's a great way to spend it. I mean, I think that we have this idea that you've got to do something, I don't know, outwardly spectacular. But I really think it's just about spending the day, whatever is meaningful. Being with the ones you love, yeah. And, you know, being with my crew, I love my crew.

And being with my wife and kids, I love my wife and kids. You, well, we're doing the childhood thing. Georgia. Yes, Georgia. Yes. You grew up, Marietta, Georgia. You were born. Marietta, Georgia.

And you grew up there as well. I lived there until my father got a scholarship to MIT. Oh, wow. Oh, my. Do you have you kind of young? Do your parents have you kind of young? My mom was 19, and my father was 23. So it was like a later in his 20s that he got the scholarship.

He was just out of college. Oh, okay. He had graduated from Virginia Tech University. He was working at Lockheed Aircraft Corporation. So that's why we were down in Atlanta. Lockheed is there on Dobbins Air Force Base. Right. And this was a great time, way before you were born, but, you know,

the 50s and the 60s, my dad just died last year, December 9th, it's coming up. And when I was doing his, I don't know if it's his eulogy, but when I was talking about him at the memorial, he lived in an exciting time in the United States of America. This is post-World War II. Dynamic. The New Frontier, Kennedy, all that stuff. I witnessed all that. Yeah. It was very dynamic time. A lot of growth, a lot of change. A lot of change. A lot of great things going on. And he was part of that.

And was working at Lockheed when they were building the C5A and all that kind of stuff. And he got this scholarship to go to MIT. And it was 1967, 68. Somewhere around there. We moved from rural. Yeah, country. Country, Georgia. You don't have to go far from Atlanta to be in country. Yeah. No. You've been there. Do we film balls? If you were there? No, no, we were here. But, yeah, I've been there. It's like, just right outside the little... I feel like...

Did I run into you down there? Were you shooting down there on something? I don't know. That's possible. It's possible. You shot everywhere, but it's possible because I have shot a couple things. I've shot like five things down there. Funny enough.

But so it was at a time with all that growth, and he got this scholarship to go to MIT. We went up there. It was the summer of love and all the hippies. And I remember them at Boston Commons. And I was like nine or ten years old. and, you know, pot smoking everywhere. And it was city and urban.

And I was like a kid out of the, you know, walking around with a BB gun, shooting squirrels. And now I'm in this. And he got his masters. We went back to Georgia. And this was, I'll give you a little reveal here. This was coming from the sticks of Georgia to Boston and getting into their public school system. they, because I was from the south, of course my school system was beneath the Boston school system. Yeah, yeah, just behind. That was their opinion of where you were.

And they demanded, you know, well, we have to test him to see if he's at the same level. And I've always kind of been a little angry about this with my parents because they let him test me. and they held me back when I was in third grade and I had been an A-B student when I was in Marietta and I got held back when I was in third grade went back to the exact neighborhood where I was going to school, went back to school and I was now a grade behind everybody.

Oh, that sucks. And I don't think my parents really thought that through. No, they probably didn't think about socially how that was going to affect you. No, they didn't think about that at all. And I all of a sudden kind of had some, doubt about my own intelligence academically. I'd never had that before, that experience. And I'm sure you're with the kids that you came up with and they're giving you a bunch of shit about it.

And, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But whatever. I mean, it's not that tragic of a story, but it did have an impact on me. And I was a good athlete at the time. I played baseball and football. He was a real good baseball and football player. And that was what made me a popular kid when I went to Boston. I wore jeans and everything. And, you know, this was a time, Aisha, when we were so different all over the country. You mean, like, from region to region. Regionality was very part of the society.

Right, yeah. The way I dressed when I was in Georgia, essentially the way I dressed now, is different than the way they dressed when I went to in Boston. and they were all like yuppie kind of, that term, like khakis and stuff. And I was like this cool rebel guy that came out of, you know, and they were, and they voted me like student council, you know, representative in third grade. And I was really this popular guy, and I talked funny. Yeah, y'all, y'all, y' ain't, y'n, all that.

And then I go back to Georgia, and we continued on that. My dad eventually got into banking. We moved to Dayton, Ohio. Okay. Which was a little kind of a blend of the Boston Col. in the Southern culture. It's Ohio. And I went to junior high there.

My dad left that bank and went to another bank in Detroit. And I ended up going to high school outside of Detroit. And all this moving around had an effect on me. Yeah, I was wondering about that. A lot of people ask actors. They say, are you an actor because you were an Army brand? Yeah, you moved around a lot. Because it comes out of that is...

We reinvent ourselves. You reinvent ourselves. You've got to be dynamic enough to, you know, move from group to group easily. Or maybe you're an outsider who become an observer. You watch people's behavior because you're not on the inside, you know. But did you feel like that was true about you? Because you moved around a lot, it made you want to perform? Yeah.

That's where I think it all started having. That and I did do a play. I mentioned that on the talk the other day. I did Peter Pan when I was in third. great. I wouldn't wear the tight. I can't wear the tights. You're just a knot.

You're not a tights guy. What are you talking about? I'm not doing that. The guys are made fun of me. The tights are the whole outfit. I made them. It's just a little legs. Green corduroy pants.

Oh, hilarious. I see that. I can see that. Yeah. Hold your head up on that. I had to go back and play football. But I think that was a, you know, that was, all that moving around did have an effect on me. And I think I did sort of reinvent myself.

place. I think that's where the theme of it's your movie, buddy, cast yourself. You know, like how do you want to be? How do you want to? You know what I mean? Yes, I do. And I did some stuff there. I graduated high school in Detroit in 77. It's an interesting thing moving around the country and I mean, I have all that is a library in my head of different characters, people I've met, guys that I know that I have stolen from and used and performed. performances in my entire career. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, what's exciting about a life like that, although I think when you're a kid... Not so much fun. Not so much fun. No, no, you just kind of... That kind of displacement can be very disorienting. But what you do get looking back, like you said, is just this multitude of experiences that most people don't have. Most people, even if they don't choose, it can get very stuck just because they've only

had the one experience and they can get very comfortable with it. It can make you very brave because you're forced to be brave. You had to be brave over and over again every time you moved to a new place. Absolutely. Did you move around a lot? No, I, well, yes and no. I grew in the Bay Area.

Okay. I was born in San Francisco, but my dad, my parents split, my dad raised me, and I think my dad was just a natural nomad. So we moved around a lot, not so much for jobs, but just because, you know,

my dad would get bored, I think. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, and my sister's like that. I am a little bit more stable than her, but she moves every couple of years. She just gets bored, you know, and I think I lived in a few different places, and I would move from city back to Oakland, back to the city, and I changed schools every couple of years, and I was very much an outsider, for sure.

And I think for me, in a similar way to what you were talking about, being an outsider made me want to find a way to perform to ingratiate myself. You know what I mean? And also, I did a lot of watching other people. because I wasn't like a popular kid, so you do, you just do a lot of observing. I can't believe you were popular. Oh, look at me. I'm giant, Robert.

So just think of me in high school, this tall, and everybody else comes up to my waist. I was just like this kind of freak of nature, you know, with these really long arms and I had glasses. I was very nerdy. Wow. I was very nerdy. You know, yeah, it was a late, it was a late bloomer, I think, in a lot of ways. But you were saying you did a play as a kid. Well, it's better that you don't peak when you're in high school.

It really is. I mean, I agree with you. I feel like people who peak in high school never get it back. And I had huge disappointments. I mean, look, I, I, um, let's hear about them. Yeah, yeah, why not? Scabs and all. I'm so comfortable talking in front of you.

I, you know, I went away to, I left Detroit and went to, uh, Bowling Green State University, play football. Mm-hmm. And, uh, my family moved my senior years, so I had lived with a friend while I was in Detroit, his family, to finish. Because I just, for the love of God, wanted to finish one place, even though my family's moving. I beg my dad to let me stay in Detroit.

Let me go to high school here. Let me graduate here for, you know. Get friends now. You're on a team. Yeah. You know, I got a chance. Maybe I can play football in college, you know, and I had all this stuff. And I whined enough, and he granted me a wish, which got me into all sorts of.

of trouble. But I went away to football, play football at Bull and Green, and I got there, and I had a girlfriend in high school, and we'd broken up. And all of a sudden, I'm in Cleveland, and I have no friends around me, and I'm trying to train, and I'm trying to stay motivated, and trying to keep that as a goal, you know, to get on the team, and I walked on, and I made the team, and I'm on the team, and I'm looking around, I've seen all these guys that got blown out knees and I just went I don't I don't think I have the heart for this anymore I don't want to I don't this guy's a red shirt freshman he's 24 years old his knees are gone for what right right why am I doing this I'm not going to be a pro football player I might have a pretty decent college

career but where's this going to go and I quit his first time my life I ever really quit on something that I really wanted to do. And that was, you know, that kind of hit me. You know, like I walked away from, I didn't complete this part that I thought I was going to do, go play college football. And then I completely fell into drugs and alcohol my entire freshman year, bombed out of a fraternity, blackballed, because I got, I went ballistic in the fraternity house one night. and wrecked the place

and was blackballed by this fraternity. And my grades were completely shit. And I wasted my old man's money. And it was like, how did that happen? I was the golden boy. And something happened. And I completely just became this lost individual that had no direction

and was just, you know, praying to God, I'm like, what's happening to me? Yeah. Why am I, why am I, where am I headed? And from this, you know, personal hell that I'd throw myself into, I found the motivation to all of a sudden make the trek across and come to L.A. and become an actor. Oh, God, this is so interesting. Okay, so I have.

And I had a huge life and death event that happened. I was on a boat in Cleveland when I'm in Cleveland. Oh, tell, tell. And there was a boating accident. You were on a boat? I was on a boat with some other guys. I was waiting tables and I want to be an actor. I want to be an actor.

I'm still afraid of it. I'm still afraid of it. I'm a failure. I'm this. I'm mad. You can't. You flunked out of college. You did this.

What, you know, who the hell do you think you are? No, you want to do this. You want to do this. And we're on a boat in Cleveland, and the boat sank. The boat that you're on. It sank. It was a freaky storm out of nowhere. It was a 30-foot dragon slayer with a 29-foot.

mask and the keel was too much and the boat wasn't prepped right it's a real long story it's great no i want tell the hotel tatel but but but it it sank oh the whole boat's the whole boat we took a big wave over the bow the whole boat was gone i swam in three and a half hours we're three and a half we're headed it was we were way off the coast of cleveland lake area and uh during the swim in I literally set my jaw and determined my set to determine the determination. I'm going to do this. And two months later I was in a car and I was headed to L.A. With no connections, didn't know a soul, moved in here and told everybody was an actor.

And there I am talking to you. Oh, you got to go right back to the beginning of that story. Now, you, the boat's full of people when you used for a sense? There was 30-foot dragon scissors. There's four other people on the boat. It's an open deck. It's a wet deck. It's a racing boat.

I see. Not my boat. Okay. You're working on it. It's a recreational. We're out there. Oh, you're having a good time. Yeah, we're out there having a good time.

Okay. With some other friends from college. One of them was my brother, my younger brother. He's, obviously, everybody survived this. Everybody survived. But I had to literally swim. him in. I got into the Euclid boat yacht club, breakwall. After swimming, how long did you swim again? I was the only one to put a light preserver over as the boat was sinking.

I was like in the deck, bailing water and throwing, you know, and kind of yelling at the captain, we're going down. And he's going into shock. His boat's going under. Again, we took this big wake, big wave. And I got in and I got over the break wall and I ran in there to the yacht club, and I yelled and screamed, and I was cramping. And I'm like, we got guys. guys out there, they're going to drown, you know, and we went out and we picked them all up. Oh, wow. Originally, when we had all popped up, we're all huddled together. And I'm going, guys, this is fucking crazy.

Yeah, like, what do we can't just float here? We're going to go to Canada, man. Yeah. And you're way out there. We're way out. I mean, I can see the smokestacks of Cleveland and I'm going like, I'm swimming in. And they're going, you can't swim in. And I go, bullshit, I'm not drowning out here.

Yeah. Wow. I'm fucking swimming in. I'll get some help. Stay here. You know, my brother Louis, Louis, stay here. Was there debris? Did they end up holding on the debris out there?

Okay. Thank God. Things popped up that could float. But the boat was gone. I mean like in a matter of seconds. Once it gets engulfed, it just goes. Yeah. And with that big mast and that sail, too, that must have really pulled it down.

And the custom mask that he had on a 29-foot mask on a 30-foot dragon slay. So you've got the equivalent mask on the boat, right? It's unbalanced. And the keel wasn't properly. The keel's four tons on that boat. Oh, wow. it was siving. It was a 50, it's a 50 year old boat.

And it was, it just was taking in water and there was no bilge pump. Oh, God. And, uh, how long did you swim? But that was, it was, we estimate it was like three and a half hours. Because the sun started to set as I got to the yacht club. And it was, I think it was in, when was it like July? Because I decided I, on the swim in, I said on September 15th,

I'm moving to Hollywood. Screw that. I don't give a shit. That internal dialogue must have been like, if I live through this. Yeah. I've always had a close relationship with God. And I was raised Episcopalian, and I'm still practicing Episcopalian. And even in the most dark despair of, God, I'm lost, I don't know what I'm doing.

You know, help me, help me, help me. And again, it was this, help me, help me, help me. That this, your life is a precious thing. Don't waste it. Yeah. sort of formula happened to me. And, you know, all those failures, all those personal failures, all those moments of doubt, all that kind of stuff has made me who I am, and I'm proud of it.

But boy, when you're going through it, you're going like, who the, you know, why am I, why am I? Sorry, I'm getting so emotional. No, you know, first of all, I'm, I, I, stuff like this, just I love hearing about it because I always feel like people, people who listen to the show, people who just kind of, you know, put one foot in front of the other, whatever, they're going through their family, they're like their work. A lot of times they, it's very hard for them to find the courage to do whatever it is they want to do. And I always love when someone comes on the show and talks about an experience like this because I feel like it's really galvanizing for other people. But, but, but, so I don't know why. I'm getting so emotional. Well, it's a...

I'm just really thrilled that you're sharing it because I just feel like, you know, out of this terrifying thing came something really wonderful. Yeah, at a moment in time where I had a lot of personal self-doubt. Mm-hmm. And I think people go through doubt so much

and they feel like they are drowning, metaphorically, drowning. You know what I mean? I can't agree with you. Because the experience I'd had when I got out of high school and I started failing at some of the stuff that I thought I was going to excel at and all of a sudden, you know, I felt literally like I was drowning and come to find out three

years later, you are going to drown is a real thing that just, it's a godsmack to, dude. Wake up. Exactly. Yeah. And then you get here and all the things you're worried about. And then I look at my career and I go, well, of course I did a play. And someone saw me in that play and said, We want you in this movie.

Yeah. And of course, it was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be, you know? And, of course, from that movie, another guy saw me and said, I want you in my movie. But I didn't even have an agent. Right. But you don't see that when you're approaching, when you're standing at the bottom of the mountain. You don't see all those little handholds you're going to find. You have to trust.

And if you can't trust yourself, you've got to have something to trust in. And I'm just fortunate that I had the foundation of a relationship with God that it really happened. You know, all this stuff is, you know, I only bring this up because it's the stuff that I use. You know, that relationship is a real important thing for me. And it's still to this day. I mean, everything that you do, everything that you're doing, there's something in you that you have a faith to take that step

whatever and the listeners out there whatever it is there's you gotta have something faith in something I don't care of it's gravity but you got to believe in something and I think

the urgency that you felt that distilled itself into this thing of this life is precious right and you only get the one you know and so do the thing that's terrifying to you because it's the thing that you need to do. It's the thing that you must do because you don't want to lay awake at night thinking, God damn it. You know, I let fear rule me. I let fear control me. Exactly. That, you know, I think for most people, that fear keeps them hemmed in, you know, keeps them stuck. And it's sometimes the thing that you need to do most that's right on the other side of whatever kind of cloud of terror is kind of keeping you from moving forward. So for me, I know, I think that was why I was just reacting the way I was, because the thing about saying to yourself, you just have this one precious life and you've just, you've got to be aware of that. You know, there's no do-overs.

There's just not going to be another shot at this, you know what I mean? And to take that to heart and to have it inform how you move through the world, which is a lot of things that can mean just operating from a place of kindness. I mean, you can interpret that however you want, you know. Yeah, yeah. But it doesn't motivate everybody the way that it motivated you. Do you know what I mean? I think sometimes people just get, they hedge their bets. They just constantly hedge their bets and they kind of play it safe.

And I love the feeling I get that I did this myself. And I don't know ultimately, I'm turning this into a therapy session. I love it. I'm just so into it. I'm telling you, it's so good. But I don't know if it's ultimately me trying to show off. to my dad. I don't know.

There's some pride I take, and I did this. I came out of here, I did this. Everything that I did, this house I built up here in the Hollywood Hills. I built that. That's me. You know, there's a certain thing. And again, it goes back into that, what's that motivation? You know, what is that thing driving you?

I do still pinch myself every day, you know? I mean, you know, going to work every day. It's such an appreciation for it. Sure, I'll bitch and complain about certain things that happened during the course of the day. But ultimately, I keep that picture of how lucky are you? Yeah. How grateful should you be?

Yeah. You know, you got yourself. And I'm sure everybody feels that way. Not everybody feels that way. I'm sure you do. No, I do. I'm like always in a place of like, oh, this is all about to come to. Well, let's talk about that because I'm,

I mean, I don't know. Where am I at time? Oh, yeah. I'm almost there. We're in good shape. But, well, I'll take it into, you know, the biggest accomplishment I had in my life. With all that stuff that I had going on, I finally got an agent, I got Dyer 2. And then I did another play.

I did a David Mammoth play. D. And then I got T2. It was before T2. It was before T2. And it actually helped me get T2. Wow. And that whole, you know, that whole experience was so huge.

That was a big movie at a time. There are big movies now, but that was a time when a big movie. There were just so many fewer movies. You know what I mean? The landscape was so much more linear that, I mean, you know, and I will just tell you that, like, that franchise was so formative for me as a kid, as an actor. I'm not that much younger than you, but I remember, I remember. You're a hell of a lot more younger than me.

No, no, no, no. But I just remember that franchise. I remember, like, seeing the first movie, like, dozens of times. And then that leap forward to the second one where technologically, it was kind of the era of like the first real CG movie and you were such a badass in it. Like it just, it was a big movie at a time when big movies were really big, you know? And I wonder if it felt big to you when it happened. Oh, it was huge. It was huge.

It was metaphorically on so many levels, where I was in my life. I mean, it was a life-changing. moment it was exactly the thing I wanted to have happened it was weird it just

you know boom and the whole process of getting it you know the audition period because it was the same thing it was like getting over letting letting myself

be a letting it happen you know and getting out of my own way and not choking during the screen test. There's so many elements people don't know that you go through. Exactly. But where it's just you? It's like being an athlete. I would imagine equivalent to someone going,

okay, this is my moment. I'm going for the gold medal. And just keeping yourself relaxed enough and keeping everything under control enough. Believing that you're prepared, believing in what you're capable of. Yeah. Yeah. And not, you know, letting any of this.

doubt and again this fear thing popping in there and then and then achieving it and then the interesting thing is I do the movie and the whole time during the movie and you brought this up that made me think about this was while I was doing the movie then all that stuff starts creeping in where it's going like I'm going to get I'm going to get fired that's what happens it just can't be happening to you you're you know you've had it other things before and they've been taken away be careful do a good job and I have always had this long

kind of a thing with alcohol and drugs that I mentioned earlier and I got completely sober and you know Jim Cameron didn't know all this was going on but I completely detox myself

because I knew I was going to have to... Prior to the film once I got it once I got it Once I got it, and I went through this whole cold turkey. I'm giving everything up, and I was a pretty heavy participant in all that stuff. You did it all on your own? Yeah. That's impressive, and it was pretty heady.

I knew I had to. It was the only way you're going to get through it, but during all that stuff, and I got through it, and then what did I do? And this is the thing that you mentioned earlier about talking about, what's the thing that I did that? Yeah, your self-inflicted wound. This is the biggest self-inflicted wound. I wrapped that picture, and I am, instead of going, wow, I gave up all this, I immediately

went right back to it. And then just in self, I don't know if it's self, I don't know what it is, because it's so complicated. Okay, if I can keep you for a few minutes, I just, I want to ask you about this because you're saying, I think you were going to say self-loathing. Yeah. And then there's something else there, which is like self-destruction. Yeah. But there's another interesting component to that, and I wonder if maybe this came into play. There's this thing of, I'm not going to articulate it properly.

It's not self-hate. It's just this thing of like, life wanting like you have this big experience and then it's over and it was probably its own kind of high

and then you're back to getting up in the morning and auditioning and it's just you and fucking silence right and then just getting up and taking a shower

and taking a shit and eating cereal like a bunch of stuff and so you just want to feel something that feels not even as good just as intense as what you just felt.

Wow, I never really thought about it like that. Does that make sense? Totally makes sense. Yeah. You've helped me out here. I mean, I'm being very, very serious because I, maybe that's it. It's just I got so fucking eye off of it. And then all of a sudden you're just back to...

I need to get a high again. Being a dude, yeah. And I don't like just, I want to be that guy all the time. How do I do that? How do I have those feelings all the time? And ride that rail. And I didn't. Because now I look at it, you know, and I've been, I finally ended up going to AA meetings, and I'm sober. It'll be 21 years.

Congratulations. That's so great. And, you know, my father was not an alcoholic, but he was the son of an alcoholic. And my mother is not an alcoholic, but she's the daughter of an alcoholic. So that stuff is, you know, it's in your jeans, and whatever's in their heads. is in my head from my upbringing. But I finally found the program. I think after I finally, my wife finally said to me,

bless her heart, she's a saint, because she's been with me since 1984. We're going to be celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary. That's awesome. And this month. That's killer. And she doesn't think that I had as bad a problem

as I do, funny enough, which is always interested in me because I just know how far I wanted to take it. Like if I was going to, if I was going to drink, I'm going to get fucking shit-faced. I'm going to go all the way in. I got to all in. You're going to put a cart and a cigarette's out here. I'm going to smoke all of them. Yeah. You know, you know, and I finally found, I finally somebody came to me and said, hey, dude, you may be sober four years. but you're not sober. You got a lot of here. You're white knuckling.

You was holding on. Yeah. And so I started going to meetings. And as I'm going to meetings, and I'm listening to what's in the big book, and I'm listening to everything. And I found out that Episcopalians were the ones that created that book. The guys that came up with the program were Episcopalians. And I heard that.

And then all the references to God in there. went like, you know what, dude, the reality is you got away from your spirituality and you replaced it with something. And you need to go back to that. And that's why I'm, you know, back at it. And it works for me. Now, I don't, I'm going to get a little plug from my church, St. Thomas down here in Hollywood Boulevard. Oh, yeah, that's right near five. And it's right at the bottom of, well, I don't want to be. Anyway, so it's in my, it's in my neighborhood. And I found myself back in there and it works for me, that part. And I don't have to do, it's not that I don't have, that's not the way to word. I just don't go to meetings. Right. Because that's, that's, that is working for you. That's the

thing that's helped you. Yeah. It helped me find a way to deal with the craziness that's me. Yeah. Okay, two quick questions. Then we're doing stuff. Well, you might have, you told yourself Inflicted wound. So then I'll just... That's my big self-inflicted wound. That was my big reveal. You did it. That was brilliant.

Build yourself up. Done it. Destroy. Destroy. Destroy. Search and destroy. It is a natural aspect of the human mind and condition to both create and destroy.

It's just a part of who we are, you know. And we've all done it and you went through it. You're really insightful. I talk to a lot of people and I feel like I learn a lot in these conversations. And, you know, and I, you know, and I, I'm by no means perfect in my own right but a big theme of my show for the last couple of years has been like

as an artist do you have to destroy things not have to like are you compelled not like exterior compulsion but do we feel compelled to wreck things because it's it makes us feel it makes us experience it's you know we want all of the different things but I just have noticed because I know I have my own self-destructive impulses

you know where I think like this is the stupidest thing what are you doing? You know what I mean? Like this is crazy as you're doing something. Thinking this is going to wreck what you've planned or what you've prepared for or this is to you know, why are you smoking? I mean I smoked all I smoked in high school and college and then like every once in a while I think it's hilarious to have a cigarette and then as I'm doing like

why the fuck am I doing this is so stupid no one needs to tell me how stupid this is I know I'm being an idiot so stupid and I got my own demon doing my own battle with all that stuff as well. Yeah. So they're two questions. The first one is you were talking about this period of your life when you, you know, you were on your own

and you were in college and how you fell into this behavior pattern. And then you said, but feel free to tell me you don't want to answer this question. I should go mind my own business. But you talked later about how everything you've done or some aspect of what you've done has been to show your father, you know, that you could, you know, to impress him.

Do you feel like you were trying to make up for that period of your life when you dropped out of college? Did you feel like you disappointed him? I would say flunked out. Maybe it was dropout. My grades were shit. My dad, I broke his heart and I felt terrible about that. I think in a, you know, in a way, it is. In a weird way, it's also to help my mom out because my mom at 19 married my dad. She's a real Southern girl. My father was from Massachusetts. and a different upbringing and my mother at 19 and I think she had always privately thought that she was going to be a model or she wanted to be an actress and she was abandoned by her father when she was 12 and I've always kind of got this sort of feeling that she was sad about the things that she didn't get to try to do and she had five kids and she sat

you know, she's had a good life, and she's very, very proud of her kids. And, and I, and I wonder if it was like, I'm going to do it for you. You know? Yeah. I know I have those feelings for my mom. Yeah, yeah. I think, in a way, and I think in a way, like, you know, moving around as much as I did, the people that I identified with growing up, the men that I've met in my life that I've aspired to be like and what I perceive as, I don't know if I can, there was no other way for me to articulate that

than to become fictitious versions of that. Yeah. Because I didn't have any other way to do it, I think, in a weird way. I don't know. I'm trying to make this sound so noble. It's good. No, it's good. I mean, it is such bullshit, but that's okay, because it's also noble. I mean, in the end, your individual pursuit of art is your own. You know what I mean?

Exactly. I'm just a fucking actor, and I know that. But in my own world, you know, I'm aspiring to try to do something that that definitely has impact on people. Yeah, and it does. Yeah. People respond to it. Yeah. You, this is the last one.

And the last one is that you, you, the one thing I find very exciting about your career, and we talked about it a lot, is just how the breadth of your work, you know, mammoth play, and then, you know,

comedy stuff, and you just, you just have this real breadth. And I, now you're on a series, that takes up a lot of your time. Yeah, there's nothing else to do. There's nothing else you can do.

There's no way I can do anything else. So I want, and, I guess I wonder, and we talked a little about this in the beginning, and maybe we've already covered this topic, but I guess I do wonder when you fantasize about what it else it is you'd like to do, what you think about. Yeah. Well, I don't feel like I ever really got a shot at some things that I know I can do.

And I don't know if that's, and this is going to sound weird, but I don't know if that's because I was such a bad in Terminator 2. That marked you in all the best, all the best and all the worst ways, I imagine. Yeah, and I'm, and, and, and, and, and, is, is grateful and is proud of that role, I, I, I, I don't know how much it has limited me. Mm-hmm. I'm very, and benefited.

Yeah. That's just the truth, Robert. You were a pretty boy. I appreciate you see. And, you know, and, and, and, and the problem is when you are, people underestimate your ability. Exactly. They really do. And I've worked real hard, and I think, you know, I'm proud of my craft,

and I'm certainly, you know, I think I've proven myself. I think a big proving. Many times over. Thank you. And, you know, the Sopranos was like the turning point for me, really career-wise, where I think people started really kind of taking me serious. I've never been called a pretty boy, ma'am. Oh, you're a pretty boy.

I appreciate that. I, uh, and, and so as grateful as I am for the things I've gotten, and the opportunities have gotten. I'm now, I still, here's where I'm going to end this. I don't feel like I've really been able to

lay it all out there and I think the really great roles for me are ahead of me. Absolutely. So. I believe that. Absolutely.

I'm so glad you do. I really do. I'm so glad you do. I that yeah I mean and I love doing Scorpion I love the show I love it for a lot of reasons I'm here in town working I'm just getting to spend more time with my wife I'm seeing my kids through college

and it's on a work on a level like you and I work at the craft it's given me more of an opportunity to flex my comedic chops and one liners and I I'm learning a lot from Eddie K. Thomas, and I learn a lot from all the kids. And God bless all the kids that I work with, and they are kids.

And every sense of the word, and I love them, like children. And they're keeping me young. And I think that's, you know, and at this point I just throw my hands up and say it's out of my hands. It's all in God's hands anyway, so just ride it. Yeah. And try not to fuck it up. Don't you? That should be all I'm going to get that tattooed, I think.

think that's a mantra just don't fuck it up um robert what a joy this was to sit with you i can't even tell you how much i enjoyed it well you're you're it's it's i enjoyed it so much you're such a pleasure to be with grateful so grateful thank you awesome that was robert patrick and i know i don't have to ask you i just know it was as good as i said it was going to be because i was there when it happened um there's no apollogia for this show other than i could have talked to him way longer and giving you way more, but we ran out of road. He's pretty great. He's pretty great.

Go look at what he's done and then go watch what he's done. So many things. It's like, it's insane. The men who stare at goats, I told you say Fowles, which, again, I've seen that movie maybe 15 times, and he's in it for an abbreviated period of time, but he makes his mark, my friends. Trouble with the Curve, which we talked about during this interview,

Gangster Squad. He's just, he's a pretty special. special guy and he was lovely. So go and check it out. And you know what to do. Come friend me, follow me, find me online, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr. I'm sure other platforms that people do things on the internet with when they're alone in their rooms, touching themselves or not, I don't judge. And watch Scorpion, which he loves and is a great show and cool and on my network. And I think would be a good companion to criminal minds if you, I mean, they're on the same night, but, you know, DVR criminal minds, DVR Scorpion, watch them both. I'm not telling you

what to do. But, you know, avail yourself of the enjoyment that is available to you out there in the world. And then, after you have put a little bit of that fun into your head, go out and make your own fun, go out into the world, into the street, and on this lovely Thanksgiving week, eat a bit too much and laugh a bit too much and drink a bit too much, unless you're not drinking anymore and then don't trick it all. Get out there and live your life and kick massive ass and I will talk to you on the next one. Late. Girl on Guy is a production of Hot Machine, blowing shit up since 2009.