Girl on Guy with Aisha Tyler - girl on guy 222: the fourth annual awesome listener question show

Episode Date: December 28, 2016

this is the fourth annual awesome listener question show. this episode is all about you, the girl on guy army. revel in the great damp you-ness of it all. stick around for the end of the show for an important personal statement from aisha. mad delirious love to the girl on guy army.

This is Girl on Guy. Hey, everybody, welcome to Girl on Guy 22. Welcome to the show. This is a special bonus episode for this month, two episodes in December, and it is the all-listener question show. If you are a long-time girl-on-guy listener, you are familiar with this show. It is a show where I read your letters, answer your questions, pontificate on your statements, and perhaps welcome your entreaties, your compliments, and your, you're,

pillories, and there are a couple of those in here. But I'm just going to read as much as I can. I'm going to try to get to as much stuff as I can. People have been writing all year, and I've saved them all up for today. This is an advertising free episode of Girl on Guy, and it is all about you. Happy New Year. New Year's fast approaching, and this is a show that hopefully looks back a little bit at 2016, looks forward with wild, enthusiasm, optimism, hope, panicked prayer, at 2017, with the hopes that that year does not suck so deeply and voraciously as 2016 did. Some good things happened in 2016, but a lot of bad shit happened in 2016. I'm not going to enumerate that now because there are lists of plenty everywhere in the world all over the internet.

If you want to read about how much 2016 sucked, BuzzFeed, New York Times, your mom, people will tell you. Anyway, I'm just going to try to make it through as many of your letters as I possibly can. So let's dive right in. I kind of, I think I've done this in past years as well, but I grouped all of your letters into kind of like areas of interest because it seemed like a lot of people were asking the same questions. So I'll see if I can kind of organize this in a way that feels cohesive. I rarely do, but that's my goal.

And I'm just going to read people's first names, not their last names. I don't know. Maybe you don't want your last name out there. Maybe you don't want people Googling you and seeing you in your underpants hanging off the back of a fire truck or doing shots out of the navel of your junior cousin. I have no idea. Junior, but still above 18. Let's keep it classy. But this first group of questions is about work-life balance, and a lot of people had questions about that, so I'll try to read and address as many as possible. Work-life balance. That's a fancy thing. I didn't make that phrase up. I think that came from

Oprah or Magical Leprecons who think there's such a thing as work-life balance. There is not. But anyway, Joshua writes, Hey, Aisha, first let me say, I love your podcast. I wish it was still weekly, but like your Twitter says, you have all the jobs. I'm happy you still have the podcast going, and this is my question. I recently got accepted into college.

I'm currently a month into it. My program is information technology. I am enjoying it, loving my classes on computers, networking, and programming, but not so much for physics and math, both of which I have to do for my first year only. Leaving school and going home has crossed my mind. A few times something tells me I would regret that greatly.

I think that might be a bit of an extreme. plus so many people would like the opportunity to get a higher education. So I'm sticking it out. Any tips from your Dartmouth days, not about physics and math, not just about university in general. So, yeah, Joshua. Wow, do I have some tips for my Dartmouth days? I'll tell you that I think I had the same approach to pushing through my workflow

in college that I have now, which is just kind of a head-down approach, just to put your head down and do it. But there were some classes I did not do well in it, including a few that I dropped because it was very clear to me. I was not going to get a good grade in that class, either because I just couldn't muster the passion to do the work or because I was staying out to late partying.

I was in college, it was college, and it was Dartmouth. I would tell you this. I don't know you or your circumstance, but I do not regret for one moment going to college. Every bit of it was a delight. And it gets harder and harder as you get older to go back to that time in your life, not just the academic part of it, but the cultural part of it, the experiential part of it, the part of your life where you get to transform from, you know,

kind of a big, flappy-footed child into something that is starting to resemble an adult. And life is going to be a series of challenges for which you are ill-prepared and even less well-tempermented. So I would say this. If you are doing a program, within which some of the classes you don't enjoy, just evaluate whether that's the major for you. Lots of people switch majors in the middle of college. Lots of people create their own majors where they say, I'm not interested in that stuff,

I'm interested in this stuff, and this is what I'd like to focus on. But I gutted it out through classes that I was really, that were really not my wheelhouse, like chemistry and biology and a lot of science stuff that I felt I needed to learn, but I wasn't particularly excited about. And then later on, I focused on language and comparative literature,

and environmental studies and beer pong. So my tip for you is to believe in yourself and don't give up. I don't know. I sound like a greeting card, but college is awesome. Sometimes it's going to suck. It's probably always going to be too hard. I think I got maybe 60% of my reading done when I was in college. And I remember there was only one class in which I did every page of reading,

and that was a science fiction class because I am a nerd, but I love that class. I read every page. But I don't think I ever got all the reading done for any of my other classes. I just did my best, man. Think about it this way, though. I think when you're a kid, you think schools for your parents, like, you can't make me do this, but when you're in college, school is just for you. You're doing this just for you. And if something tells you that you would regret leaving school greatly, then you would. So just be tough. I was miserable my first year in

college. I was dying to quit. I remember actually saying, this isn't for me. I'm going home. I'm going to go to a state college or a community college. And I'm so happy that I stuck it out. and I encourage you to do so as well. Tamia says, I want to thank you for your appearance on Allison Rosen as your new best friend. You talked a lot about time management and handling your shit,

and it's refreshing to hear it from someone who literally has so much to do for fuck's sake. Yes, I will crash my car into a light pole. I'm so tired all the time. No, it won't be easy. I shouldn't have to explain myself for wearing the same jeans all the time. You're amazing.

Tamia, you're amazing. I hope I spelled your name right because it's amazing. And you should not have to explain yourself for wearing the same jeans all the time. I was just away for a few days with my family, during which I wore the same outfit for three days, including to sleep. And on the third day, I said, no, on the second day, I said, don't let me get up tomorrow and wear the same outfit again to my sister. And then the next day, she said, if you don't get in the shower, I'm going to punch you in the nuts.

And I don't even have nuts, although it might have seemed that way from the way I smelled. So never apologize, Tommy, I do your thing. Zachary says, hey, Aisha, I've been curious to know more about when you decided to leave your regular job and go into stand-up. I'm sure we know the basics, but after listening to you and Sarah Burns, Sarah Burns is so great. So was Alison Rosen, by the way. That's a great episode if you want to check that out. She was on my show.

I don't even know what the episode number is, but it was so amazing. I'm actually looking it up right now. That's how ill-prepared I am for this listener question show. But while we're talking, I will look up Alison Rosen's episode on my show because it was one of my favorite episodes of Girl and Guy. We talked about relationships and kind of self-actualization. Girl on Guy 1808, you can find it if you go to girlonguy.net and go to the archive. She's so smart and she's so much more than you think she is.

And that was literally one of the most delicious and satisfying conversations I've had on the show. So check that out. So we're talking about Sarah Burns. That was also an incredible episode. That was, what episode was that, guys? Let's look it up. You're hearing right now how the sausage is being made because it's the holidays and I don't have my shit together. and I'm trying to get this done so that I can ease into the last morsels of this year.

Like having spoken to guys and connected with you and also getting some time to myself. So that's Girl and Guy 208 with Sarah Burns. That's a great episode. Sure, we know the basics, says Zachary. But after listening to you and Sarah Burns talk about the benefits of having gotten the education, I want to know more about the turning point. Turning point, excuse me. I'm in a similar boat as I just love school to continue in a job.

I'm working at that I absolutely love, which feels right. So Zach is going through something very different than Joshua left school to work at a job that he loves. And I think that either choice is valid, as long as you know you're doing it because you're passionate about what you're doing and not just ambivalent about school. So I was working after Dartmouth. And I actually write about this in self-inflicted wounds, I think, the whole kind of path from college to stand-up. And I had a what I thought was a perfect job. I was an environmental studies major at Dartmouth, and I had a job at a land conservation group, a green not-for-profit. It was a dream gig, downtown San Francisco. It should have been super happy. Should have been perfect. And I was miserable.

And I had always been a performer. I'd always done sketch and improv and been in an a cappella group. And I realized that the only thing missing for my life was that I wasn't performing anymore. So it was just a kind of a, I don't know, math of subtraction. Like what was missing from my life that had been there previously and it was performing. And that was right when the inception of Comedy Central's precursor network, it was called Ha, unacceptable name for a network, I agree, had come on TV and there were all these stand-ups on there,

and I just thought, hey, I could do that, hubris, my friends, ego and hubris. And I started writing down joke ideas, and I tried stand-up. Really, I was not one of these people who had like a sweaty, fisted red fox album as a kid. I liked stand-up enough. I didn't really understand it. well. I just was drawn to it and I did one very very shitty set, one poor, unacceptably poor set and I was totally hooked. So it wasn't that calculated, Zachary. It wasn't like I was like, I want to be a star. It's just like I was miserable and I needed an outlet for my creative energies

and I tried stand up and it satisfied that need. But I did know after just one almost virtually laugh free set at a shitty little club called. called the Holy City Zoo in the inner sunset of San Francisco, that was what I wanted to do with my life. And I immediately said about dismantling everything that was good and lucrative about my young career and throwing it in the shitter for a life of dirty beer glasses and chicken wings.

So I hope that that helps you. I can't imagine that it does. Kelly says, what are your thoughts on the concept of work-life balance? It's a mystery to me when you sleep based on everything you are doing. And the answer, Kelly, is there is no such thing as work. work-life balance. Either your work is working or your personal life is working, but it is rare that both are working perfectly. It's a myth and Oprah and Martha Stewart and whatever other perfectly quaffed ladies out there pushing a wheelbarrow of shit about how you can have it all. They're full of it.

I love Oprah. Oprah don't come and take me away and put me in your dungeon. I'm not implying you have a dungeon. I'm sure it's nice down there. I'm sure it's lined with cashmere. I'm sure it's fantastic. What I'm saying to all of you, as I draw my shade so that a sniper cannot see through my windows, is that you have to decide what your priorities are. And I honestly just, I don't want to be like a doomsayer here. I just think if you are really passionate about work, sometimes that's going to take more time. And then if you're really passionate about life, sometimes that's going to take more time. I'm working on being more balanced. But I think the fact of the matter is, if you're ambitious and you're driven,

and it's very hard to give every aspect of your life the time and attention that it needs. So there's an embedded question here, which is when I sleep, and the answer, Kelly, is never. I never sleep. I break down in the middle of the cold, hard floor of my living room in a pool of my own tears, and I lie there until I am able to gather the strength back together to get up and then do more stuff. Elise says, let me say thank you for continuing to make the time in your crazy schedule to keep up with the podcast. You will never know how much it has changed not only my life, but the lives of many others as well. At least you're so lovely.

Thank you for saying that. She continues, your ability to be both genuine and approachable is truly a gift, and it is a joy to get to be a fly on the wall during such great conversations. My question is, how do you cope best with stress while maintaining a positive attitude? Currently, I am dealing with the parts of life that are supposed to make you stronger, yet I feel myself more often than not going to the dark side. Wanting to give up, not looking for the light at the end of the tunnel, and it makes me curious as to what approach you might take, how do you find the strength and courage to go on during the days when all you want to do is give up? Well, at least I do feel that way sometime. I think everybody feels that way sometimes sometimes. And I think maybe one of my coping mechanisms is to realize that I'm not alone in feeling

occasionally, sometimes frequently, sometimes a staccato drumbeat at what every six minutes of the day that I want to give up. This, again, I'm just going to be like a font of platitudes and, you know, hallmark, watch your back. But I do. I don't know, I don't, I don't, I'm not really like an affirmations person. I just, I don't have time. But what I, I do remind myself of is, I don't get to go back and do this life again. Like I don't get at the end to be like, I'd like a do over. I'd like an extra life. You know, like at the, you know, I died at the end of, you know, some fucking cutscene in a video game and I get to go back and do it. No, you don't get to do this again. You just don't. And so you have to decide what you want your life to look like. And then you have to endeavor. relentlessly to get there not for other people not for your spouse not for your girlfriend not for your family not even for your kids for yourself because you are not going to get a do-over that is literally probably like my subconscious mantra sometimes I do want to give up but then who who who how who does that serve

like that I'm gonna look back and be like God my life could have been awesome but I fucking pushed out no way so I am tireless and then occasionally I am at rest but it's because I just don't want to look back and think, shit, I didn't do all the stuff. And then some days I do give up. Some days I curl up on the couch and I drink too much wine or whiskey and I watch a movie and I feel sorry for myself, but I don't let that state continue because it serves nothing

and it serves nobody and you are literally taking a shit in your own bed. You're not spiting anybody else when you say, I don't want to do this anymore. You're only spiting yourself. So as much as sometimes I think, hey, self, you're an asshole. I also think self, you're the only self I have. And so I'm going to get up off this couch and I'm going to change my urine stained underpants. And I'm going to keep pushing forward.

Monty. Hi, Ayesha. I love you and everything you do. You're the raddest Monty. Archer is one of the select non-fi programs. My partner and I can watch together and laugh until we cry. I devr the talk because every. day because work and shit. Absolutely. Watch when I get home. I love your honesty and listen to the

podcast as soon as I can get my hands on the new one. Oh, this is interesting. I can't get something out of my head. On the talk on October 28th, Cheryl Underwood took a stand against the negative comments you receive for your thoughts. Again, quote unquote, your thoughts on the incident in South Carolina with the school police officer and the student. I think this is maybe a question about a school police officer hitting a student. The pain and emotions that were in your face, I don't know how to describe. I was crying and angry at the same time as I'm sure many others were. I like to think that I know you like a friend after listening to 220 Girl on Guys and watching you on the talk. You're so lovely, Monty. My question for you is, do you ever feel that on all the platforms

you give yourself to you are giving too much? Do you ever think you are sharing too much or giving too much of yourself to the world and your fans? I hope not because your ability to make me feel like I'm sitting in the Girl on Guy Bunker 2.0 is one of the reasons I follow everything you do. I feel like I'm sure many other fans of the podcast do that I know you in a way that you want all of us to know, and I think that is the real you. Keep keeping on. I get excited for the next conversation with you. Well, Moni, you're a delight.

Do I ever feel that I'm giving too much? Well, yeah, I do sometimes. I do feel like I'm giving too much. I don't think I make a conscious choice to give. Maybe I made a conscious choice years ago just to be myself. I told you guys it was going to be one fucking greeting card. after another on this shit. Mainly because it's just easier.

It's less work to be myself. You know, I don't have to think, how does this represent my brain? How does this, what does this say about me? I just try to be myself. Occasionally, I regret it. Occasionally, I'm like, I don't want to fucking hear myself talk anymore.

Occasionally, I think people are going to hate me for this or judge me for this or dismiss me for this. But, you know, I think probably coming out of stand-up, which is just a pure expression of who you are, at least I'm comfortable with saying what I believe. And I think if you have strongly held beliefs, then you can express them confidently without being threatened by others.

And I do feel very strongly that if someone is outraged by your, like if they're, if they're, I'm outraged and I'm, and shame on you and I'm insulted, they don't really, they don't really have like a clarity of perspective of their own because I think, you know, unless they're just like, terrible people and you said, you know, I love puppies and they're like, I eat puppies. Well, you can't talk to that person. But most people, if they really believe what they believe, then it's an unassailable belief and they can have a rational conversation with you without

losing their shit. And the same goes for me. I mean, yeah, there are people out there who I think are terrible people, awful people with bad ideas and bad perspectives, racist, misogynists, you know, homophobes. They're, they're, that's a big, juicy barrel of assholes. But I hope that there's that there are people out there thoughtful enough and smart enough to have an adult conversation with me. And conversely, I think, I hope I'm enough of an adult to express my feelings authentically without being afraid. I mean, that's the essence of, of, I don't know, not just of American culture in the Constitution, but everything I personally believe. even I think the best parts of Western culture, freedom of expression and thought. So, yeah, a lot of times I'm like, bitch, shut up.

No one wants to hear about your life. So there you go. That's the end of that question. Sheila, or it might be Shayla, but either way, Shayla or Sheila says, no, happy New Year, no Apoloja. She wrote this back in January. No apologia necessary, but it's just an applicable today because the new year is coming up. Once again, from Shayla, happy New Year, no Apologia necessary.

Just thanks for not working yourself sick. Well, Shayla, it's too late. I have the group. Okay, on to another group of questions now about a different set of topics. And this is about, I don't know, I don't know why, I wrote these little headings on these because I was organizing.

I should have gotten out my label maker, but this was about kind of art, this group of questions, art, culture, music, and stuff like that. So let's see what I've got here. This is from Monica. Hi, I've been sitting on this email writing and revising it for the better part of the year so I could hone this baby and then send it to you sometime after my birthday and hopes up getting at least one answer to at least one question on your next awesome listener question show. She actually sent this right after I finished last year's question show. So I saved it for a year. She says, Monica says, among many other things, I'm a wife, a mom, a full-time editor and writer, freelancer, entrepreneur, and major supernatural fan girl. You're adorable. Watches the fan. And on Loop, writes fanfic, it's Google Alerts. Go, Monica. So it gave me hard to set aside time to listen attentively to your show, but when I do,

I'm there for three hours, and she spelled it hours. You're so cute. Your show is one of my favorite things to do as my mental escape when I am blissfully alone in my car. I admire you for being not only incredibly witty and well-red, but you have the ability to pull the interesting out of people when you talk with them, proving what I learned years ago in a journalism program. Everyone has a story. And Monica, I agree.

and that's one of the driving forces behind what has been five years of passion for this show is that if you're a curious person, everybody is interesting. I really do believe that. So she goes on, I don't know if you consider what you do to be journalistic in nature, but it totally is. Someone in your first lesson in show already said this, but I concur that my favorite thing about your podcast is discovering new people. I've only heard about an eighth of your podcast thus far,

but it seems, despite my undying love for supernatural, and I have done two episodes with Jared Padalecki and an episode with Misha Collins. My favorite overall interview is Frank Bruni, she says. I didn't know about him before that episode and now he makes me want to broaden myself even more. My favorite self-inflicted moons, however, is Jared Padalecki's second one about stopping the train in Europe.

That was a super funny story, Monica, and he is a delight, and that was a great story. Please keep up the show, fantastic, illuminating, going on. The podcasts are inspiring. You should do a seminar on the art of the interview. you. Wow. Will you make me feel special in my warm and fuzzy places, Monica? Okay. She's asking for some different guests that she'd like to have on the show. They're all amazing people. Judson Ackles, Norman Reyes, Leah Friber, Anna, Matt Bomer. Oh, Matt Bomer's so great. Now, okay, let's get

to the question, Monica. Trying to figure out what not to ask, he was almost as challenging as figuring out what's already been asked at a supernatural convention, so one doesn't sound too ignorant about this massive machine-wanted doors. And I, get it. When you're a superfan, Monica, you're always like, man, I don't want to make a mistake. If I refer to this character as a demon when they're a half demon, or I don't even know, because I like supernatural, but I got to tell you, I fail at that superfan shit. You know that other people are going to find you out. So everyone has just found me out about my supernatural fandom. Here are her questions. Do you know if Adam Reed's name ever made it up on the wall of fame at the

alumni center of his high school? She hopes so. I don't know, actually. I still don't know. I should have asked him before this show. Let's see when I decide it has. If it hasn't, it'll be going up very soon, I imagine. Second question, I know you don't do research on people for these interviews, but do you have backup prepared or default questions in case you have to pull the info out, or do you let it happen naturally? What is your favorite question to ask? So I don't research people, and I never have backup questions, but I do have a certain structure that follows the grand old origin story. And I think if you just start at the beginning with people, like if it's someone I don't really know that well, I typically just start with where were you born? It's just, that is the, that's the question

I ask in almost every episode. It places people. It gives my, my interviewee, an opportunity to understand that this is going to be a comprehensive conversation about their lives. And typically when people start thinking about their childhoods, lots of interesting things come up, because most of us don't think about our childhoods that much. You know, we're too busy trying to, you know, put food on the table or drink away our feelings. So yeah, I always start with where were you born? And it always, it has never failed me that question. And I think if you're ever meeting somebody, don't ask them what they do. Ask them where they were born and see what you get out of them. It's always really interesting. She says she's not a gamer, but she knows E3 because her 15 year old son since he

wants to go someday. I try to, he's a slow-boil thoughtful type. He's a slow-boil thoughtful type. and I try to encourage his interests in a way that's not detrimental to his development. Can you tell me is E3 strictly industry folk? Or do they open it up to the players like my son? E3 is typically an industry event. It is not open to the public. However, a lot of the gaming companies will invite super gamers to come. And so a lot of times they can win contests to get badges to the floor and be the guest

to a game company or another. I mean, last few years, Ubisoft has always brought a group of, like a gaming team or some super fans to E3. So it's very difficult to get tickets. It is for gaming industry only, which is very frustrating. But there are lots of gaming conventions, including, I think, the Penny Arcade convention in, I'll think of the actual name of it. I'm going to be Googling like crazy all through this thing so that I'm able to give you

Pax. So Pax is in Seattle, and I think there are a couple other ones, Boston, Melbourne, San Antonio. And it stands for Penny Arcade Expo. And that is open to people. That is a gaming fest that's open to people. So I think, and they do like huge gamingathons, including these massive kind of culminating roundtable games over Tetris and Halo 3 and SkiBall. So it's not just video games, it's all games.

But that can be a fun thing to take your son too if he loves games. And here is her last question. Oh, well, there's two more. I'm going to try to answer everything, guys. This might be a long one. But, you know, put it on when you're on a run or when you're driving cross country. It'll fill in the blanks. She says, one thing I hear from a lot of the celebs you speak with is how normal they are or want to be.

And correct me if I'm wrong, I think you wouldn't said you prefer not to talk on planes. Yes, Monica, it's not that I don't want to talk to like people who aren't. I'm not one of those people's like, oh, I don't want to talk to you because we're not in the same business. I don't want to talk to anybody. I don't talk to my mom on a plane. I want to watch movies. I want to cry at shitty things that I would never see in a theater like the fault in our stars. And then I want to drink too much crappy wine and fall asleep.

That's just, that's my goal. I could sit next to the Pope and I'd be like, I'm a big fan, but I'm going to drink some shardine and take a nap. Actually, I would never drink chardonnay. Joe Mangonello, she goes on, specifically mentioned his dad stopping him once from a Sturming a celebrity saw a restaurant when he was a kid. I do believe in letting people be people, but what is your advice about when or how to approach a celebrity public? Well, look, think about it this way.

People working in entertainment are just like everybody else. They have shitty days. Some of them are friendly. Some of them are friendly. Some of them are at times they're open, times they're not open. I would not assume just because someone is famous that they're dying to take a picture with you. Like I was walking on the street with a friend of mine is on a TV show the other day. He's a lovely.

He's a sweet guy. And I typically would take a photo with anybody no matter how shitty I look. I could have literally like a shoe mark imprinted in the side of my face, and I will still take a photo with somebody. But we were walking down the street, and some fans came up to him, and they were super sweet. Hey, we love you. We love your show.

Can we take a picture? And he said, oh, of course. And then I took the picture for them. But then another lady was behind me, and I could hear her say, oh, yeah, we need to get a picture with this guy. And it was pretty apparent. She didn't actually know who he was. She just could see he was famous, and she wanted a photo.

I just feel like don't see celebs, quote, unquote, as like, things. You know, they're not like, they're not statuary or like a fancy car that you see on the side of the road and you kind of stand by it and take a snap. Like, they're people and, you know, he was headed out to dinner with his friends or maybe she, her kid is sick or she just learned she got fired from her show or got canceled or like just ask nicely, the way you would ask anybody about anything anywhere. The only thing that makes me crazy is when people, like I was at a dinner with another friend as an actor years ago, and this woman came over and said, hey, are you so-and-so? And he was very sweet. He said, yeah, she said, I knew it. And she literally grabbed him and physically

started dragging him across the restaurant, I don't know, to win a bet she'd made with her friends over who was a bigger asshole. And I said, I stopped her. I said, hey, he's eating dinner. If you want a photo, come over and ask for it. So I guess the rule of thumb when you're approaching celebrities is just to be polite. And then if they say, hey, I'd really rather not, Don't be pissed about it because I bet you had a shitty day once and you didn't feel like taking a picture with some random who came up to you and interrupted you when you were in the middle of a fight with your boyfriend so that they could like, you know, do 18 selfies and then come back 10 minutes later and go that one didn't come out. By the way, if the photo doesn't come out, feel free to come back. I'll always take another picture with you. I'm happy to take a picture with you. Everyone will be like, oh my God, you guys, James Harden, when he shaves his beard, he looks just like a girl. Monica asked me what my favorite supernatural episode is, and I cannot think of one right now. So I'm just going to be.

to tell you that I have failed at your supernatural superfan test. Failed, failed, failed. Paul says, how do you choose your advertisers? Are you really thrilled in podcasts or advertising free? Or is it just the case that advertisers do not want to advertise that week? My impolite question is how much revenue people generate. I've heard $8 per audible purchase. I do not know whether that makes advertising worthwhile. Okay, well, that is a very impleined question, Paul. I have a long-standing, long-time advertisers that I think fit the brand of the show, something like Audible, which is, I'm a big book. I love to read, and Audible's book-driven or Casper or Warby Parker.

You know, cool companies. I don't pick, I don't go out and pick and choose advertisers. I look at advertisers that are interested in the demographics of this show, and I reject the ones that I think don't fit. You know, I won't name company names, but I've rejected companies that sell sex toys. Not that I'm against sex toys. I may or may not be the owner of a wide.

selection of devastatingly awesome sex toys. I just don't want to advertise them on my show. So I just typically try to advertise with companies that I think are cool. I mean, one of the reason I love Warby Parker is because they have a big charity component. You buy a pair of glasses. They donate a pair of glasses to someone who is sight impaired in a developing country. So that's the main way I choose. I use the force. Your impolite question, I'll answer it generally. not that much revenue. It's enough to help defray the costs of hosting this show on a server so that people can download it. But this show has always been a labor of love for me.

It's never been a moneymaker. And I often pay out of my own pocket to keep it going because I love it and I care about it deeply. And there are amazing fans who have donated over the years for the most part unprompted because they care about the show. And all of them are so amazing. and I can never thank them enough. And I actually am going to name a few of them now. I'm only going to name your first name because I didn't, you know, who knows if you want, but I'll give your last initial.

There are a lot of people who have donated over the years. If you're not on this list, please don't be offended. These are just people who have donated consistently for a long time. N. Christopher R. Son N. Carlos B. and Leslie L. have donated continually over a long period of time. unbeceached by me, and I thank you guys for your long-time support. But that said, I do this show because I love it.

It's definitely not going to buy Mama a new pair of shoes. But I think there are probably a couple guys out there making good money. I think Mark Marin and Adam Carolla are probably making a lot of money on their shows. And, you know, God bless them both. Nathan, every year, asks me what music I've enjoyed and then tells me his. So, yeah, so churches, Nathan says he likes. Taman, Paula, Barucasol, Marilyn Manson, who doesn't love Marilyn Manson? Who doesn't love Marilyn Manson? Thunderbitch?

I have not listened to Thunderbitch, but I would get a tattoo that said Thunderbitch on my body, large enough for you to see from a satellite in space. Sex Witch, Prodigy, Dead Weather. Oh, you're a little Cynthia E.D.M. person. And I'm sure a few I'm missing. What have you been listening to? Anything, jump out. And also, will there ever be more live archer shows? Nathan, we hope there'll be more live archer shows.

You know, I don't know when that's going to happen. Everybody's so insanely busy. But we would love to do that. I would really love to do that again. It's one of the only times we get to be together. We did a live art show this year at Comic-Con, and it was pretty amazing. I just bought Anderson Pock.

That was great. And another person that I have been listening to a little bit more lately, and I'm like, I'm trying to grow as, as, as a, like, grow as a, I love music and I'm trying to grow a little bit more in, like, trust my collection, but I'm so busy that I listen to less and less new music, but my nieces just made me listen to the entire dram album, and it was great, the big baby dram album, that was really fun. I love that song, Broccoli, although I know that's not on the album. But it is, it was a single that I went on that album. And like every other motherfucker in the world, I thought that

Beyonce album was pretty great. Do not judge me. You are judging me. Your choices are better than my, Nathan. You're cooler than me. You are cooler than me. I agree. Silver's on pickups. Lays' album is pretty amazing. You know, I'm a perpetual fan of Silver's on Pickups. And that might be all of the new information that I have for you, which makes me not just failing at the supernatural superfan. Oh, the Erica Budu mixtape was pretty cool. Not just failing at the supernatural superfan test, but also at the music super fan test. James Blake, that James Blake album, The Color and Anything, and also the single I Need a Force Fire,

because I love Bonnie Bear. And I thought for a minute there was not going to be any more Bonny Verre songs, and then there was that made me super happy. So yeah, so not any good ideas, not any good stuff. I'm lame. How about that, Nathan? I'm a lameo. Zach, Zachary, says,

you've easily become one of my favorite podcasters. I'd like to thank you for four amazing, seasons of quality interviews. My question is, if you could interview a guy or girl who's passed in the last 20 years, who would it be and what would you need to ask them? Thank you. Wow. Well, David Bowie and Prince, right? I think those are the two big ones. Prince would be, I can't even make words about how amazing that would be. And I think both of them are so iconic. I think that you could learn things from both of them that had nothing to do with music, but just had to do with like kind of trying to tell the truth, not even like a universal truth, just your

truth and trying to be like your own person without apology and kind of believing your own instincts and that's not the same as being like an arrogant prick but I think often we just don't trust ourselves we just you know we all do this and look I don't want to make it about gender but women do this I think even a little bit more than men like well you know you're the expert you've done this long time you might be no better than me and I think they're both people who throw Joan Rivers in there who just were just just never going to apologize for going their own way, right or wrong. And I think, especially when you're trying to be creative, but when you're trying to innovate in business or, I don't know, raise a

family, trying to be true to your instincts can be critical, you know, because things may go wrong anyway, but at least if they go wrong and you did them on your own terms, you won't look back and go, well, I should have done it the way I felt I should have done it instead of listening to that jackass over there. So, yeah, I don't know. Those are two big ones. Prince and David Bowie, for sure, both of them. Thanks for sucking perpetually 2016. Bruce says, I love your show. It's one of only two I listen to, even when I don't recognize the guest.

Question is money, no object, with an automatic green light. What is the perfect Aisha Tyler project? Well, hmm, I want to just direct action films. That's my goal in my life and thrill, like, in that space, you know. I always say I want to be like Clinties Wood smashed with Catherine Bigelow, smashed with Ben Affleck, smashed with

Denzel Washington, all of whom I think are amazing directors. So yeah, I don't know that I have the perfect project, but I'd like to direct action movies and westerns, man, I love Western movies. Hell or High Water was just

made my face just screw up in a happy shape. You said, and he goes on, you said in the past that you have one or more Neil Stevenson books sitting around unread. That's true. I have several Neil Stevens and books sitting around unread, and they're big and thick. They make everybody else think I'm smart, and they make me feel intimidated and stupid. If you were to pick up Rimda, I don't have that. I don't have that book.

And I don't even know how you pronounce that word. Rameda. Riemda. You'd find an excellent lead part for Tual Attractive Smart Black Woman. Well, I'm going to read that. Just because you said so, Bruce, I'm not even fucking around. I have a couple of weeks down, and I'm going to read that book on a plane, and I'm delighted.

I literally am tickled. I'll report back. That's awesome. Okay. Ken says, in your Wayne Federman episode, Wayne Federman, stand-up comedian, writer, launching head writer of late night with Jimmy Fallon. and his episode was, hold on while I Google it. Guys, it's almost like this is live.

It's almost like this is a live episode of Girl on Guy. It's unfolding in real time. That was Girl on Guy 207. Ken says, in your Wayne Federman episode, you said you are past the point where you could be a love interest in a Spider-Man film. I've been following the casting of the new Spider-Man, and not only is it the most diverse cast

a Spider-Man film has ever had, but it also has the youngest Aunt May they've ever had in Spider-Man. in a Spider-Man film. So do you think there is no hope for you to possibly be a romantic interest? For someone, I don't want you kissing a 15-year-old.

Yeah, Ken, you don't want me kissing a 15-year-old? Neither does me, my family, or the law in a Spider-Man movie, but I know you could be at one of those Marvel TV shows. Well, Jada Pinkett was in Gotham, and I know that's D.C., but I thought she was pretty amazing. And that would be, you know, I like the DCEU.

I know that everybody is pissy and shitty about Batman versus Superman, but I loved it. And I will not apologize. I just watched it again a couple of days ago. So, yeah, I don't know. I see it now. I see it more than I've ever seen it before, for sure. Hope springs eternal.

And more than that, I think that the world, of these movies is expanding and becoming less traditional and less defined. And I want to tell you something, I did not get Galgadotte as Wonder Woman, but I thought she was the best thing that happened in that Batman versus Superman movie. So anything is possible. All right, moving on to several questions about Archer. Jeremy says, I want you to say, I admire you for who you are and that you're an amazing person. Jeremy, you're an amazing person.

I'm a firefighter EMT, and we all at the firehouse watch you on Archer, and you're so funny. Well, thank you. That wasn't a question, but you're lovely. And tell everybody in your firehouse a sploosh. Gordon says, Gay Guy in Montreal, big fan watching you on seasons 1 through 3 of Archer. And when I work from home, the talk on CTV, Montreal, love their career so diversified,

and you have a healthy dose of self-deprecating humor. It's just another nice thing about Archer. I don't know, I just wanted to read some nice things. It's very sweet. Gordon, thanks for watching. You're the best. Brett says, I was wondering after Archer at season 10, what you and the rest of the cast are going to do. What will Adam Reed do next and will you be a part of his next project?

Well, Brett, that's a long way off. We're still making season eight, just in the middle of making season eight. It doesn't air until spring of 2017. So 2017, 2018, 2019. We won't have to figure out what to do until 2020. And then maybe at that point, Adam Reed will change his mind. You know, he writes every episode of Archer.

He is a one-man band. And I think being that brilliant and hilarious all the time, that wildly smart and deeply literate and like incredibly tactile and complex genius is exhausting for a man. So I do hope that we continue past season 10, but if it's a perfect season 10 and we tap out on top, that would be okay too. Everybody will go on to do great things and Adam will retire to an island made of money. Paul says, your end show question, does your experience going through the approval and

regulatory process. Oh, this is fun. This is all, these questions about politics and culture. Paul says, does your experience going through the approval and regulatory process for courage and stone cause you to reconsider your political leanings or give you an understanding why some people lean towards small government conservatism? By the way, huge fan, well outside your target demographic, you're an amazing interviewer. Thank you, Paul. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for everything that you said in a way you said it. No, it does not. I think everybody gets frustrated with government every once in a while. I'm not a big government anything. And I'll say this about my politics. I think it's obvious from the show that I'm a progressive. I understand people, I really do fundamentally

understand people who want leaner government, who think that we should rely on individuals and the kind of the collective goodwill to take care of some of society's problems. It is just my fundamental belief that that doesn't happen, that left to their own devices, people swing towards the selfish and self-interested. And it's not that I want to force you to be altruistic. It's just that collectively as a group, if we all contribute a little bit, we can do much more good as a society

than if we just hope that churches and a few impassioned good people will fix all of our problems. That's just me. I believe in trying to do the greatest good for the most people. And I think that sometimes the most powerful instrument for that is government, and sometimes it isn't. Sometimes it's not. But I think on the wealthiest, most educated, most fundamentally powerful country on the planet,

it's a shame. I feel ashamed that we still have people sleeping in the street and people who don't have health care and millions and millions of children who live in food poverty and don't have enough to eat every day. And I just don't get it. I'm not a socialist. I'm not a communist. I believe in capitalism. I believe in innovation.

I believe in the unfettered and unlimited opportunity for growth and innovation that we have in this country. I just also think with great power comes great responsibility. And in a place as powerful and as wealthy as this, we should be able to do right by our frailist and least capable citizens. And I just don't believe in the bootstrap philosophy. That's just me.

you know I just don't I think some people are destined to pull themselves up for their bootstraps and some people for because of circumstance or condition or injury or abuse may never get there and I just care that's just my that's my philosophy so yes is it frustrating that it's taking forever to get courage and stone proved yeah it's frustrating but it's not like I'm going to make a sign Jerry says this is my third time writing to you for the year-end Q&A episode and despite my sense of deja vu I want to say I'm a massive fan of your show and you're one of the biggest idols of my life Jerry you're the best also out of 200 episodes of GOG I have to say the episode with Kelly Carlin Kelly Carlin is one of my favorites and that was one of my favorites too she was smart and amazing wasn't she and that was Girl and Guy 200 George Carlin is one of the most, Jerry goes on,

George Carlin is one of the most influential figures of my life. He single-handedly shapes the way I view the world and human nature in itself. It was extremely fascinating to get an anecdotal view of his flawed humane side behind his titanium indestructible persona. Of course, Kelly Carlin is an extraordinary figure herself, trying to cope with her struggle to find her own voice behind her father's limelight. Anyway, I just want to thank you for bringing that episode to your fans, and here's my question for the year-end Q&A episode.

Here's the question. Many famous comedians, Bill Marr, Chris Rock, Jerry Seinfeld, etc., have publicly criticized political correctness and refused to perform at colleges because of their oversensitive nature. With you being an accomplished comedian who's also quite involved with a lot of humanitarian endeavors, what is your overall thoughts on the concept of political correctness within the context of comedy? And have there ever been any moments in your professional career where political correctness has conflicted with your creative sensibilities as a comedian? Love and good wishes. Now go take a day off and play some fallout forward. Such good advice, Jerry. You are my personal superhero. Well, hmm, you know, it's interesting. This is a really good question. And I think that the phrase political correctness has kind of gotten a lot of abuse from both sides of the political spectrum. You know, people on the right dismiss it and say that, you know, people are being thought Nazis. and people on the left use it to judge and strike and excise any ideas that they don't feel comfortable with. I've always seen political correctness is just like the concept of trying to be thoughtful about what you say and to whom. And that's always how I've understood it.

I've never had a problem with political correctness. I've never had my show is very raunchy, very adult. Oh, there's my phone going off. That's exciting. very mature. I personally think pretty edgy. I'm sure there are a lot of people who could get upset with it, but it's not cruel, and I think that's my line is cruelty.

You know, I make fun of people. I make fun of everybody, including myself, but I'm just never cruel, and I guess that's my personal line. So, no, I've never, I've had people who have been offended at stuff I've said, not just in stand-up, but, you know, when I'm talking on the talk show and when I'm writing, and I'll read some letters from some people like that later in the show. But I have never had anybody kind of, you know, be so offended that I was being pilloried

or, or ripped apart or protested or anything like that. You know, I just did, I don't do a lot of college shows, just don't know how a lot of of time. But I did one a little while ago, and I just told everybody this is going to be a grown-up show. So if that makes you uncomfortable, I suggest you leave now. And that's my general approach to that. But I get it. It's funny that Jerry Seinfeld would complain because he works so clean. But if I go into a situation and they say, well, these are our language restrictions, that I just don't do the show. If they say, well, you can do the show, but you can't talk about politics, so you can't talk about sexuality or you can't talk about religion or you can't use adult language.

I just don't even book the show. I mean, I want to fucking hang out with grownups. So if I can't be a grownup, then not interested. So maybe that. Maybe the answer to that is if the way political correctness has affected me, Jerry, is that I just take my ball and I go home. Corrigan says, I am a young man who loves to listen to your show. Your personality attracts very colorful people. There have been several podcasts.

I cannot list them all where you have discussed reviews on religion. And as a Catholic Christian, I was very surprised to have Pope Francis come up in the show's conversation. I would love you to find a guest where you can have a long civil discussion on faith. My final comment is, have you ever considered inviting a previous guest on for a sequel interview? That is all. Continue making good products. I'm never disappointed. Thank you, Corrigan.

You were asking me, you ask also my husband, who's now my ex-husband, is Catholic. Have I had good experiences with his church? I have. I have had good experiences with his church. and I have a very close friend of mine who's a pastor, and I find people of faith to be thoughtful and open-hearted, and for the most part, if they're moving through the world in a mindful way, to be really kind and caring people.

So I don't go to church. I'm not religious, but I respect people's choices. And the only thing I ever object to is when people use religion to judge, exclude, abuse, denigrate, or physically attack people who don't agree with them. You know, I mean, every religion in the world has been used as a weapon since the beginning of time. And that doesn't mean their religion is bad. That means that people have the capacity to be terribly bad. But, you know, unfortunately, religion has been used as a justification for slavery, for genocide,

for rape, for all kinds of, for torture, you know, obviously if you're thinking about the Inquisition, for mass murder, and that does not make religion bad, that makes people bad. And there are people, good, thoughtful people of faith everywhere in the world who are doing wonderful things, and it can be a tool for incredible transcendent good, for beauty and kindness and the best aspects of the human spirit. And then it can be used for terrible, terrible evil. And I guess that's like everything in human existence, right? We tend to try to bend tools to our own will.

But I have had very good experiences with the Catholic Church, and I used to love to go to Mass, and my favorite part of Mass was when you would. turn to the next person and say, peace be with you and also with you. I think that's a beautiful, beautiful moment. And I know a lot of incredible Catholics who do really wonderful work in the world. I am a big, fat fan of Pope Francis. I think he is the, I think he is the most engaged, compassionate Pope that I have known in my life. And I know I'm not a Catholic. So I'm looking at it from the outside in.

I'm looking at what I think about Pope Francis based on what I've read and what he said and the fact that I think that he is trying to undo some of the injustices of previous papacies. But I watched a video recently where, you know, we have so much strife right now in the world. There's a really amazing video of Pope Francis washing the feet of Muslims.

It just happened. this year, and I think it's the first time he washed the feet of Muslim refugees and not just Muslims, but Hindus and Coptic Christians. I just think I've never, I personally, I'm just talking about myself and I'm not a practicing Christian, but I will tell you I don't think I've ever seen anyone behave more Christ-like than this guy. I think that he is a really special person, and I hope that with everything that's going on in the world and all the cruelty that's being done in the religion's name that he can be someone that helps show us the way together you know he's he's pretty amazing that's all i can say about that he's a cool dude um okay let's see what do we have here

what do we have next we have a bunch of questions about really uninteresting Hollywood stuff, like clothes and things. I told I was going to answer every single question I could. So Wendy says, I loved your rhinestone dog t-shirt that you wore on the talk. Where can I buy it? Anytime, Wendy, anytime you see a sweater or a t-shirt that has like a dog or an animal on it on the talk, and 99% of the time I got it at H&M. I am not fancy.

I am not walking around at Versace. Go to H&M. They have amazing clothes with dogs on them for like $14. I am not a fancy bitch. My favorite pair of sweatpants are from the men's department in H&M. They cost me $20. Cindy. Cindy says,

Hey, Aisha, I love your own criminal minds. I hope you continue to be regular. The only question is why they made your hair short. You are beautiful with short or long. Thank you, Cindy. But I like you. You look more like you with long hair.

Love you either way. Thank you, Cindy. I decided to make my hair short because it was important to me to look different from all the other shows I was doing. You know, I met the talk until lunchtime, and then I met Criminal Minds until midnight. And I didn't want people to watch Criminal Minds. Well, that's just a girl from the talk,

and she looks exactly the same. And I can't lose myself in this character because she keeps looking like someone I know from whose line is it anyway. And that's why my hair is short on Criminal Minds, because I really wanted to disappear into that character. That was really important to me. And I loved that short hair. I was so into it.

I know other people didn't like it. I don't care. Someday, I'm going to cut my actual hair that short, and then never use a flat iron again. Debbie says, I love the jackets you wear on whose light is it anyway. Where do you get them? Where would I be able to buy them? Again, those are very affordable jackets. They're not all from the same designer, and we mix it up.

But for the most part, those jackets come from Zara, Zara woman. Go check that out. Very affordable. I wear inexpensive clothes because nine times out of 10, I'm going to either spill a beer or cocktail on them or wipe my grubby sticky fingers on my lapels after eating barbecue or tacos. So no need to spend a lot of money when $69 will do. Nicole says, Aisha, I watch Whose Line.

Every time I do, I drool over your jackets. Well, I especially like your powder blue one. Oh, wait, you once wore a crushed velvet one. Doesn't matter which, because I love them all. Do you design them? Please share. Again, Zara, H&M, Topshop. Where else?

Zadig and Voltaire occasionally. but those are available to you, and they are rarely very expensive. Oh, sometimes, ladies, forever 21. What? And if you're thinking about me, Forever 21 times two plus an additional something. Ellen says, I just listened to your Girl on Guy episode with Chelsea Handler. As a male, I was really struck about your conversation on body image. It breaks my heart.

The society puts these ideas of shame in women's heads. It doesn't matter what size you are. What I like about both of you is that you are genuine and thoughtful people, and that is more attractive than being a stick figure. As a man, I have felt the sting of not measuring up, but it was nothing like what you two were speaking of. I would love it if we lived in a world where people looked inward instead of tearing each other down to make themselves feel better. I know that this world isn't like that, but I still want it to be that way. Thanks again, Aisha. I love your show.

It has been a great benefit to me on my journey. Allette. That is a lovely, lovely letter. I feel the same way. I wish that we lived in a world where people did not tear each other down. dead looked inward. And that conversation wasn't really planned, that conversation with Chelsea, um, about body image and kind of eating disorder and behavior. Um, it just happened, which sometimes does happen. That's episode 218, girl and guy 218. Um, but I liked,

I was happy we had that conversation because she seems so fit and kind of perfect and, you know, to hear someone who doesn't seem like they have any kind of discernible weight issue, about, you know, all the stuff that the machinations and contortions that we go through dealing with our own self-loathing, I think is important for people to hear. You know, there are women who are incredibly skinny who think they should be skinnier, and there are women who some people would deem, you know, crevacious or overweight who are thrilled with their body and the men or women in their lives are thrilled with their body as well. Body dysmorphia has nothing to do with what you actually look like. Because typically

with body dysmorphia, you have no idea what you actually look like. So I'm really glad that you responded to that conversation, Alan, and I think the more that people, men and women, because men have body dysmorphia too, the more that men and women talk openly about those feelings of shame and self-hate and abuse, the more people who are going through that won't feel alone. I think it's really important. I think we're ashamed to talk about, you know, our body issues. And, you know, you don't want to be that girl or guy who's like, oh, my God, ain't someone. Nobody wants to hang out with that person. But I think it is important to talk honestly about what you're going through because chances are almost everybody else can relate to it.

And you are not alone in any way, my friend, you are not alone. Kimberly, this is a little group of conversation about race and culture, a little few questions about that. Kimberly says, I've been following your podcast for a couple of years now. And one thing I've noticed is you never play the race card or the female card. Well, thank you. I don't recall you're ever discussing hardship in your career because you're a woman or because you're African-American. Is that on a major part of your story?

Are we living in a time when it doesn't matter? Or has your drive and work ethic superseded race and sex in your area of the entertainment industry? Basically, is race, this is our question? Basically, is race sex not an issue because you work your ass off every day? She goes on to say, wow, that was easier to boil down than I thought. Well, Kimberly, no, we are not in a post-race or post-gender society. not by a long shot, unfortunately. We have come a long way in every way,

but I think this past year has demonstrated abundantly that we are in no way post-racial or post-gender. What I can say in my own life is that I grew up knowing that it was probably going to be harder for me to achieve my goals being a black woman, And so there was no point in complaining about it. I was just going to put my head down and move forward. That said, I think it is important to point out

when there is gender or race inequalities because if you don't say anything, then nothing changes. It's just that I have, you know, I think I've said this on the show before. Like, we just have to all stipulate to the fact that the world is just shot through with assholes. They're everywhere. There's no getting around the fact that the world is unfair and everybody around you's a dick. So what do you do you do after that? Do you give up or do you

push forward? I mean, that's that's the basic question for all of us. Do you give up or do you push forward? And for me, I chose to push forward. And I also remind myself that 50 years ago, my mother, who was just a couple of episodes ago, I think she was a girl and guy, what, 219 or 220? You know, when she was my age, or a little younger, when she was in high school, she had to drink out of a segregated water fountain and ride on a segregated bus. My mom was 220. It was so 220. And she persisted.

If any of the people, any of the people of color or women or gays or any group that's been excluded, if they had given up, none of us would be here now. So I don't get to give up. And personally, I think whistleblowing and pointing out. on inequality and pointing on injustice, pointing out racism is critical to the advancement of any culture. But it isn't my inner monologue because there's just no time to think about all the ways in which things might not go my way. Michael says, first off, I love girl and guy, you're a rock star, I love your gift to the culture of podcasting. Michael, you're as awesome. You're awesome. All of you are

awesome. I think that's the ongoing theme of this episode. He says, Michael says, I'm going to preface this, that I am a white male, and I have a real question regarding your conversation with Taye Diggs. First off, my favorite role he's ever played was as Benjamin Coffin, the third. He was amazing in rent. In your conversation with him, and while I understand he wants to raise his son to be a black man, it made me wonder something. This may be a separate issue of race versus being known, but black culture talks about equality. However, if equality is the ultimate goal, does being black matter?

Wouldn't the things that Tay defines as his mannerism as to his son just be what makes Tay-Tay, not what makes TAY black interesting. Or am I wrong that there are two separate issues where Tays trying to enforce his son being black would be more like a Christian parent enforcing God more than black equality. I realize you are not TAY, but as I don't have a way to ask him along from question,

I'll consult the person who was able to delve into his psyche. Thanks for being awesome. I loved your tabletop playing cards against humanity with well. Well, that is a question, Michael, that I got to tell you, I'm not going to be able to answer for Tay. That's his area to unpack. But what I will say is that, as I just said, we're not in a post-racial society.

We're not post-racial. And I think encouraging your child to embrace their ethnicity and embrace who they are and see it as a point of pride rather than a point to be ashamed of, because historically black people have made to feel ashamed of their color, to see themselves as ugly and less than. to encourage your child to embrace their ethnic background, all of their ethnic background, and see their strengths as gifts rather than as detriments,

I think is something that's important. And not a point of pride that makes you better than other people. I don't think that's the pride we're talking about. We're not talking about a pride that one group is better than another group. We're talking about a sense of your history and your cultural background and your touchpoints making you what you are. And all of those cultural touchpoints, all of that history, making this complex, diverse society strong and vibrant and diverse and unstoppable.

I think that that, I don't think there's any one way to be black, the same way that there's not any one way to be, quote-unquote, white. You know, most people who consider themselves white, you know, they have very different backgrounds. Maybe they're Italian, maybe they're Asian, maybe they're families from Eastern Europe. That's not a monolith in the same way that black people are not a monolith. And I think there's also strength in understanding that you have qualities that make you unique and you have qualities that make you part of an ethnic group and you have qualities that make you American and that all of those qualities make you who you are.

and that to discount any one of those qualities weakens the whole. But that's my perspective. That is not Tay's perspective. I'm not answering for Taye. You would have to ask him. Janet, Janet asks it. Okay, this is a deep dive.

Janet asks, wondering for my granddaughter, who is biracial, you're just talking about someone with a biracial child, if you have your hair straightened, or is it a weave? She is 12, and we, as a white mom grandma would like suggestions for a young girl since there's no grandma on the other side of her family to help. Well, Janet, when you see me on television, on the talk or on whose line or whatever,

I am wearing extensions of varying lengths and configurations. And the main reason I am doing that is because getting your hairstyled every single day for television is incredibly damaging. And for years, I would go to work and they would curl and straighten and flat iron and tease and spray my hair and it would break and break and break and break and break. And so one day I said, I've had enough. And that is why I go on to TV with lots of extensions in my hair. And then they never have to put a flat iron or heat on my own hair. And that is a very intimate question that I've answered for you. But, you know, why not? Why not answer that question for you? So that is what's going on on TV. Nowadays, lots of people are able to, it's almost like an outfit. You put it on, you take it off,

and you can look a different way every day. But I do that mainly to protect my own hair. For your granddaughter who's biracial, don't straighten her hair. Leave her hair alone. Let it be curly and wild. If you do not have a grandmother on the other side, I would find an African-American woman that you trust and you know well to come over and help you style her hair because the last thing you want to do is change her perception of what's beautiful when she's that young. Curly hair is gorgeous.

There are beautiful ways to take care of it. she decides when she's older that she wants to straighten it, let it be up to her. But I think it's important when girls are young to not force them to some greater societal beauty standard, but just let their hair be wild. I remember I was in Paris, the very name drop you, but I was in Paris recently and I needed something for my hair. and I was looking at all these stores. I had a guy, like a taxi driver driving me around,

and I couldn't find what I was looking for, and he goes, well, what do you need? And I was telling him, oh, you know, I need something for my hair. And he goes, oh, well, we'll just go Shea Black. And he took me to an African-American. Well, that African-American, we were in Paris. So a French, African-French, Afro-French, hairselling store.

And I went in and I asked the woman what I needed for my hair, and they picked it out for me. So take your adorable granddaughter to a hair supply in a black neighborhood and ask the women in there what to do, and they will be very helpful to you. But don't straighten your knees or your granddaughter. Don't straighten your granddaughter's hair. Let her decide to do that when she's an adult. I think it's like piercing a kid's nose or getting a tattoo. Let her decide that for herself when she's older and trying to impress a boy. Okay. We've got a couple more chunks here. This is a nice substantial show. Heather,

Oh, this is about family, this next group of questions. Heather says, I'm just now listening to your question show from the end of 2015, and I want to say thank you for putting the subject of choosing not to have kids out there. I know you've had different experience with this, but I recently chose to have my tubes tied and have no kids, and I don't want any. I've not told many people, except for my close friends, because I know they'll have the reaction my mother had, which was why you might regret this, et cetera, et cetera. People never say those things to people who choose to have kids,

and no, they don't, Heather. It's very much like being LGBT living in a world where straight is the default setting. Having kids seems to be the default, and I'm just so glad to have at least one voice out there who many hear telling people that it's a valid way to live to not have kids. Thank you.

Well, Heather, thank you. And I do think it's valid. And the reason that I spoke up about it was because I feel like a lot of women and men. So many men came forward and said, thank you. When I talked about that, so many people feel, you know, if you're at a couple, well, why don't you have kids? Well, what's going on?

why don't you have kids? Oh, you'd make beautiful kids. You should have kids. You'd love it. You know what? I'll decide when I want to care for another human being from the point they're born until the day I die. I'll make that decision. Thank you very much. It does seem to be the default setting. And while I flirted with it briefly, because I thought that maybe it was a good idea, like a lot of people do when they're, you know, I didn't want kids for a long time. Then I thought, well, maybe I'm running on a road. Maybe I should. And then once I started to flirt with it, I realized, no, I don't want kids that much. I don't want to go through all the physical rigum role it takes to have a kid, and it really kind of made it clear to me

that I wasn't interested in having kids. I think that people who choose not to have kids should not feel embarrassed about just saying, this is not for me, man. I'm just not interested in caring for another human being who is going to take everything I have and that resent me. But that's just me, Heather, and apparently you. So thanks for writing that.

I decided not to go through IVF. I have not regretted it for one single day. And I made a joke the other day where people are like, oh, you don't have kids. And I was like, I'm crying into my whiskey when I'm dancing in a bar on a Tuesday night, my friend.

Jill says, when my husband and I split, after 25 years of marriage, we're committed to doing it in the kindest way possible, and we did. We still love and care about each other and our great friends. We just aren't married to each other anymore.

I'm telling you this, because I want you to know it is in fact possible to get divorce with kindness and love, and sometimes it is the kindest, most loving thing you can do. Jill, I agree with you. And thank you for that kind and very open letter. I think that relationships end people tend to default, again using Heather's word, people tend to default to unkindness. But how can you all of a sudden hate someone you loved for so long? I'm lucky that my parents modeled a very kind way to divorce,

and I'm trying to emulate them every day. Julie says, I saw the show. I can see how hard your situation is, how much when your husband loved and respected each other. But another reason I was crying is because I thought how awesome it was that you loved someone that intensely for 25 years and was loved back. That's so sweet, Julie. She goes on to say, I know you would never change those years.

So just cherish the memories. And I do, Julie. I really do. And I'm grateful that you wrote such a sweet letter. You know, how many people can say they had a, a 25-year love affair. It was wonderful. Christina says when I saw the highlight about your divorce, I refused to read the article, I only care to hear what you want to share.

I'm a fan, I want you to know you are supported. You are the reason I listen to many podcasts that bring me joy when I'm in pain. Yours was the first and still the best. When you changed once a month, that was so glad you were taking care of yourself. Please keep doing that, let your real family and friends love you. Christina, again, just the sweetest letter, and you're so kind. and it's been a crazy year, but the love and supportive people like you has made it a lot easier. Okay. Antoinette says, I'm sure that you will have thousands of notes from various people over the course of the next few months,

but I wanted to say, what a class act you are. I met my husband at 16 of years of age. We have been together for nearly 33 years, married for 28, and there was a time we went through a similar experience of deciding whether we would remain married or whether we were moving towards divorce. It was painful but necessary process that we experienced privately. I'm only seeing your first name, so I'm not putting you on blast, Antoinette. But she goes on to say, I'm an extremely private person, cannot begin to understand what you're going through at this time.

Please know I'm praying for you. I am praying that you were surrounded by people who genuinely love and cherish you so much that their resounding love will drown out the foolish cares of this news cycle. Thank you for exhibiting with class what true love is, that just because the relationship marriage is ending, it doesn't mean you don't still want the best for each other. That was also an incredibly sweet letter, Antoinette, and I got a lot more like that, and they were all really lovely. And I am just grateful for everybody who took the time to write in.

It's not any fun going through a divorce, but I was determined not to also undo the legacy of what was an incredibly wonderful life with someone who I always love. All right, these are a few letters about my mom. My mom was episode 220. You know, I did my dad. He's in the archive. He's in the exclusive archive.

So my mom was episode 220. And if you want to hear my dad, he's bonus episode. He's exclusive episode three. So you can kind of book in those episodes if you're a subscriber. They're both pretty great. But Patty says, I just listen to the girl and guy with mom.

I cannot tell you. how much I enjoyed listening and how much I connected to it. Thank you so much for bringing that to your listeners and sharing your mom's story. I listen to most of it on Bart coming in from the East Bay to San Francisco where I work. Well, you know, that's where I'm from, Patty. She says, I am a Bay Area native, white with progressive, progressive parents, not regressive, progressive parents. My parents have similar Berkeley SF Fillmore stories. My dad was a painter and an electrical engineer.

My mom was a secretary. Anyway, just wanted to say I found the podcast fascinating. I'm glad, yeah, that's, you're in my stomping ground. It must have been fun to listen to that while you were kind of moving around some of the places that we talked about. Joe says, I've never written to you before, but wanted to say your podcast with your mom was outstanding in capital letters. I have to admit before I listened to what I thought, well, this one probably isn't for me. I couldn't have been more wrong. What an interesting, fascinating, and highly intelligent woman she is.

It also gave me a lot of insight into some of the reasons why you are the person you are. Also, I listened to a shit ton of your podcast. Thank you very much, Joe, because I'm very much into smart and funny, but I think this one is now my favorite so far. And then he goes on to say, oh, by the way, I am a 55-year-old married white male, born and raised in Northern California. I'm not sure where I fit into your demographic. Joe, right in the center bullseye of my demographic friend. He says, just keep doing the shows, we love them.

Good luck topping that one, though. And then a little toothy emoji. Thanks, Joe. That's so great. You know, I'm really proud of the fact that the demo for this show is really diverse, and I've got everything from guys like you, 55-year-old married white male, to my gaze. to my young women, to, I remember once I did a show, and there was a woman pushing her mother in a wheelchair, and I thought, oh, God, this woman just dragged her mother out to hear me say, fuck, a thousand

times. It's probably late. She has to pee. She probably ate, like, chicken fingers for dinner. She's miserable, and why did this woman do this to her poor old mom? And her mom, who was like 90, was the fan, and she had dragged her daughter to see the show. And she had seen every one of my shows, and she had all my books. And so it just goes to show you that you never know who's going to respond to what you do.

So just be yourself and stop trying to figure out what the fuck people want because that is an impossibility. D, this is just initial D, last initial B, says, I really so thoroughly enjoyed the podcast with your mom. I fell in love with her. Can you run around for holidays to be the raconteur? Sadly missing during Christmas dinners. What a thoughtful forward-thinking maternal presence, so much history. And yet she knows there's so much left to learn. I'm gushing and you guys appreciate either.

I'm Ugg. I'm jealous, but so glad you shared all the best for great holiday season. Thank you. Yeah, I'm really lucky. I really lucked out on the parent front. You know, it hasn't always been easy, and my parents divorced when I was 10, and there was some rocky years in there,

but I'll tell you something. I lucked out. I'm not going to lie to you. I got two pretty spectacular people, but not perfect, imperfect, interesting, thoughtful, compelling people. They're seekers. They're cool. They both have tattoos. My mom's got a full yakuza-style sleeve. She's working on the big snake going up her arm. She's a badass. But one of the things that has been really helpful for my relationship with my parents as an adult is just to decide to love them for who they are now and not fixate so much on who they were when I was a kid. I think a lot of people get stuck. You did this or you didn't.

do that or you always do this or you made me do that. My parents were not perfect. And I remember spending almost my entire freshman year of college so mad at my dad for a bunch of teenage bullshit, you know, some of which was real and some of which was imagined. And then I just thought, you know, someday my mind's going to die. And am I going to be the asshole who didn't talk to their dad and then he died? And I just decided not to be mad at him anymore. And I always talk about this. Forgiveness is not letting the other person off the hook. Forgiveness is letting yourself off the hook. Now, if you've had some kind of truly cruel and traumatic parental experience where you were abused, I'm not telling you how to live your life, but even forgiving your awful parent for that,

again, not letting them off the hook, but letting yourself off the hook of caring around, anger and resentment at somebody, it's that what's, I think this is attributed to maybe boo but it might be Gandhi, it might be Mandela. But the saying is hating someone is drinking poison and hoping it kills the other person. It's just a waste. So for me, I have just tried to embrace my parent. It's Nelson Mandela.

I think it's Nelson Mandela. I think that, oh, here, this is great. Okay, I just found a little quote for this. So the quote has been attributed to a lot of people, including Pima Children, Nelson Mandela, Buddha, Anne Lamat, Alice May, Debbie Ford, Malachi, Kipport, excuse me. And I don't, and I, so maybe it's just a common quote that a lot of people have used. But holding on to anger is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die is the actual. quote. And so right now I don't sit around and go, well, you know, my dad didn't drive me around

to parties when I was a kid and my mom was in a relationship and I wasn't getting attention for her. I mean, they're just fucking people. That's one of the things you learn when you become an adult. You're like, your parents just a fucking person. They were barely holding it together. They didn't know what the fuck they were doing. Half the time they wish they could jump out a window and go to a bar and the corner and get fucked up and not come home. And you were there whining and complaining because their peas were touching your fucking mashed potatoes and you didn't want to clean your room. So forgiveness goes a long way towards freeing you. And in doing that, it typically improves your relationship with your parent dramatically. And I am far from perfect, so I am not

holding my parents to any kind of standard of perfection. I will tell you that. And at this point now, my family just does a lot of really affectionate, like, happy loving. We just love each other. and let everybody make their own choices. Oh, Joyce. Hey Joyce. Joyce says specifically about my mom. In your episode, 189 interview of Robert Lassardo, you mentioned that your mom had an entire tattoo sleeve, but during your interview with your mom, you never asked her what inspired her to ink her body. Can you share that now? Well, I don't know.

Although I will tell you this, my mom is an artist and super fucking cool. And if you listen to that episode, you could tell that. And she's always loved tattoos, and she's had tattoos from the time I was a kid. she was in their 20s like most people. But I think she thought at some point, well, I'm older and what the hell am I saving it for? And I've always fantasized about getting this thing. And now I'm going to get it.

But I'll tell you this, when I was a little kid, my mom got a tattoo on her hand. It was of a rose. It was very beautiful. And this was at a time when if you worked in corporate America, tattoos were like for Bouten. Nowadays, you have CEOs with face tattoos. But she would always, you know,

she'd go for an interview or she'd go to a business meeting and she would always cover it. And now, you know, in this day and an age of like 25-year-old CEOs, writing their scooters around, you know, their high-tech campuses, you know, my 71-year-old mom can rock a sleeve tattoo, and she's the coolest person at her company. So I think she just thought, you know, again, I don't want to die without having done all this stuff.

I think that's what's inspired her. She also really loves Asian art and culture, and I think that's why she's getting the cool Yakuza-style tattoo. Okay, we're getting close to the end. I have two really angry emails. There are a lot more, but I think I might have thrown some of them away. But I always read nice emails, so I thought I would read a couple that were wildly shitty. And so here are just two.

I wish I had more because somehow just reading two implies that like there aren't more. There have been more, both on the internet and other places. But I just thought, man, let me just read you a couple. because I think they're pretty fun. A guy named Jake says, Aisha, I used to be a fan of the talk until on today you made the comment about a man's body hair should be shaved and smooth

from the neck down like women's bodies are, really? A man's body hair, chest, leg, pubic, underarm is beautiful. Beautiful is in all caps. Actually, there's a lot of capitals in here. If your husband is smooth like a nine-year-old boy's body is, then that is fine. However, I was offended by you making body hair like it is a disgusting thing on a man. You sound like a lesbian, to be honest. Okay, I really hope, Jake,

that you did not intend that to be an insult. Do not be so offensive about a man's body, not one of the man, uh, man's in here. They're all capitalized, but there are no apostrophe, uh, apostrophies. So it sounds like, um, the living, in living color sketch for the guys of doing the movie review. And they were like, there's a lot of man's in that movie. Anyway, so I don't know who sounds gay me or, or this guy, but I will no longer be watching the talk. You sound like a stupid woman, caps, when you open your mouth. Shut the fuck up, loser. 17 exclamation points.

By the way, I watch some of your stand-up. You are not funny. I'm not was also capitalized. I really enjoy that. I'm assuming that Jake is rather her suit. But what I can tell you, Jake is not, is a master of the English language. Dan writes, Dan, Dan writes,

will never watch a show you are on. You are an awful human being and an even worse actress. No one cares what you think. Well, that was succinct. And from what I can tell from Dan's email, he is some kind of family lawyer. So he was able, although a bit truncated,

to employ proper syntax and punctuation. But I have to point out the implicit lie in this email, which is he has to have watched a show I was on to form such a virulent opinion about me. So, Dan, I think you are a liar because I think you have watched at least one show I'm on. And to get this angry, probably several. I would assume the talk in criminal minds at the very least, because this is almost a 360 criticism of me as a person and as an actress.

Couldn't have formed those opinions without watching my shit. Okay, I wish I had more of those. I really wish I could have dug up more. There have been more over time. But those were the only thing. to that I had kind of put away. So anyway, but those are just the tip of the iceberg. Good times. Okay, we're nearing the end of this special listener question show, and I just have a couple of, this is going to sound incredibly self-farinizing, but people wrote thank you notes. I just want

to read some thank you notes. And reading your thank you notes is a way of thanking you. Thank you for listening to my show, everybody. Thank you for writing these lovely things. Brenda writes, hello, Aisha. I was rejuvenated and recharged upon discovering your girl on guy's show. in the midst of a lot of stuff that requires to me to make some life changes for the better boring job which I'm grateful for but can't wait to quit a guy I am so crazy for but is so much younger than me I'm old enough to be someone's grandmother but don't feel like it and I won't be heartbroken if it doesn't happen so much to do and so much I want to do Brenda I feel the same way so much to do and so much I want to do I feel so much more grounded and lighter after

after having listened to one of your shows not to mention enlightened and intrigued by your barter with interesting people. So good to laugh at life in situations we all experience. Thank you for being amazing. Looking forward to listening and on more of your shows. I have a lot of catching up to do, as I did not know you had your own show. Just mentioning it, but I recall watching you on Ghost Whisperer. I really felt you gave it something special, as everyone does who brings their special mix of personal chemistry and talent combined. Thank you, Brenda. There were a lot of, I had a lot of favorite emails this year. Man, that was right up at the top. Okay, Daniel says, this is the third year I've had the best intentions to write in for your awesome annual listener mail show. But the first where I finally

pull it off, I can't claim to be as busy as you, but I do have a lot going on. So it has been the best of intentions up to this point. But several years ago, when I started having to drive more for work, I found that as much as I loved listening to music, it was not keeping me alert at the wheel, so I listened to some audiobooks, then decided to try out these podcast things. Anyway, I started to search for something to hold my interest, starting with comic books. But there wasn't a lot out there, but one of the ones to come up was your interview with Robert Kirkman. You guys know, well, if you don't know who Robert Kirkman is, Robert Kirkman is the creator of The Walking Dead, first the comic book,

and then the co-creator, executive producer of the television series, and his episode of Girl on Guy is number 22. So that was very early in the life of this show. So he says, Daniel says, the one that came up was your interview with Robert Kirkman, and I found your interviewing style so compelling, I started to listen to other interviews you have with artists I like, and I have to say, once I realized who you were, it was one of those connect-the-dot scenes in a movie where they flashed back and show all the times you should have seen it coming.

I realize all the great things I liked to and that I had watched and enjoyed, Talk Soup, Friends, 24, Archer. Now I am a fan and a member of the Army. You're great, Daniel. When I first would listen to episodes with people interested in me, now I listen to every episode because you are so good at pulling out stories. I like hearing different perspectives, being able to see the world from someone else's shoes, Daniel, that is what I like to do too. It helps me to show how much we all have in common. There have been several times we have uncovered a nugget of wisdom that I really needed at the time.

And the most recent was your interview with Daniel Gillies. Daniel Gillies is a really interesting actor. And he is on the show, The Originals. He was a girl and guy, 199. and he is delightful. He's also the director, and he was so fun to talk to. Daniel, this Daniel, not Daniel, Gilly says,

I was having a really shitty week and wallowing in self-doubt, and as someone in a creative profession, I thought the discussion on failure was particularly relevant to what I was feeling. I immediately sought out the Charlie Kaufman speech he referenced, and it helped put me in a better place

and stop a spiral of self-doubt. I always enjoy yourself-inflicted wound stories. They remind me of a cartoon strip that appeared in the early days of the Onion newspaper called Pathetic Geek Stories. I had two published back in my college days, as like you, I have an awkward childhood of nerdery that I could mind for humorous stories. He says, sorry for going on too long, guest waiting for years to write, men I have a lot saved up. Well, Daniel from Chicago, that's a great letter. Thank you.

Alan says, I'm fairly new to the girl on Guy Army, but I wanted to drop you a line and let you know how much I love your show. Happened across your podcast three months ago. Haven't stopped since. I find the people you interview to be so fascinating and you lead them into insights that is a benefit to us all. I'm a 40-something-year-old man in the process of trying to see new truths about myself, and I have found inspiration through your conversations. I've also found many parallels in my own existence to events your guests have described. I can hear how excited you get when your guests are reaching the truth, their truth. It's so awesome and not just something you hear every day. All I can say is I'm hooked. Alan,

I like the sentence where you said, I'm a 40-something-year-old man in the process of trying to see new truths about myself. I think before you are in your 40s, you think, how can I possibly learn anything new about myself? And what you discover is you are always learning new stuff about yourself, and you don't know what the hell is going on. And that can be really terrifying. But embracing it is also pretty exciting. So thanks for that. Monica, want to know what I love? Says Monica? Discovering new things and new shows like the originals, which Daniel Gillies is on, speaking of. And then discovering that you have talked to Aisha,

have talked to someone in connection with that new thing show so I can bask in the joy of fan-girling. Because of your delicious Daniel Gillies interview, I finally decided to watch the originals. I used to catch the last few seconds of it when it would precede supernatural. I always thought I might like it if I tried it, but I have a 40-something and way too grown

to watch teeny bopper shows, I say. Well, Monica, I think you proved your own theorem wrong. So I avoided TVD like the plague, but almost immediately felt the originals seem more my speed. OMG in love with the whole show and every actor on it, well-witten and witty. And then I scrolled your podcast, found Charles Michael Davis. He's also on the originals. And like you said, way more poetically, I crap my pants.

She says, P.S., I reluctantly confess that I have now seen too many TVD, the Vampire Diaries, TVD episodes. But that was because I wanted to drain every drop of the Michaelsons that I could out of that show. So I have all the backstory to continue enjoying the originals. Yes. Monica, you know, there's that phrase, these are my guilty pleasure. Use that if you want to let other people know that you understand that it's probably not center bull's eye for you to be watching TVD and the originals, but you don't care what they think. Enjoy yourself.

Leslie says, I want to thank you so much for your wonderful podcast. The conversations you have with your guests are warm and engaging. It's lovely to hear the human voice behind the public persona. Since I have been listening to your podcast, I've discovered wonderful books, movies, and TV shows, your conversation with Andre Roy. that was such a good one, guys. Andre Royo was on the wire. He played bubbles on the wire, and he spent on a million other things,

including most recently on Empire, but he is such an interesting actor. He was a girl guy 197, and that's a listen to immediately, if you have not done. She says, Leslie says, your conversation with Andre Royo inspired me to take the wire off the back burner

and move it to the top of my watch list, binge watching the wire while eating chocolate moon pie, is a wonderful way to decompress after a long day, and now I eat moon pies and binge watch Archer. Well, that's a thrill, Leslie. I'm glad I was able to bring that into your life.

Now I need to find myself some chocolate moon pies. That sounds like a really kick-ass evening. Hacinta says, Good Lord, I just listened to the Viola Davis episode, completely blown away. What an inspiration. Thank you so much for sitting down with her.

Let me tell you something, isn'ta? I am amazed that I got her. It was a big, fat deal. She was Girl and Guy 215, 2015, not 2015, 215, and it was a thrill to be sitting that close to the truly great Viola Davis for an hour and listening to her speak was like some pinch myself shit. So I'm really glad you enjoyed it. That was one of my favorites. Hizekia or Hesekiah, I don't know. Your name is cool, but I'm sure I've gotten it wrong. Says, Dear Aisha, I wanted to say first, I love the podcast and all the work you do. My favorite episode.

So you were in was the Boondock's attack of the killer kung fu-wolf bitch, still a classic to this day. Oh, here's a question in this, thank you. How do you pick your guests and you take submissions from your listeners? Also, when will you be hosting a live show? Well, Hasekia or Hesekiah. I typically do a live show at Comic-Con every summer. How do I pick my guess? People that I'm interested in.

I don't have anybody to satisfy. I just pick people that I find interesting, and sometimes I'm out. I think with Daniel Gillies, I honestly was at a party and we met. And I was like, oh, hey. Who was it that was just saying they loved the originals? Hold on a second. I want to find her name because I will say that, okay, it was Monica. So Monica, I was watching the Vampire Diaries for a while.

So just let's all work around our feelings about that. So I think that I met him. And I was like, oh, I know you're from Fanfare Diaries. And he was like, oh, I know you from Archer. And we just were like, oh, I'd love for you to be my show. And that was how that happened. So sometimes it's, you know, with Viola, I had met her, you know, but even if I hadn't met her, I would have chased her.

Sometimes it's the only way I can get somebody on my show because somebody like Viola Davis or Shirley's there, and their publicist ain't going, let me do them. You know, I mean, I've got to go to them directly. I'm not going to get the massive machine that swirls around somebody of that caliber to let me interview them in my little weird podcast. But I'm persistent, and I'm very lucky that I've gotten some of these amazing people on my show. Jennifer says, Aish, I feel so privileged to live in a world where someone, especially a woman, share so much of

themselves in order to better those around them. You are an inspiration to myself and so many others. I only hope there's some way in which I can reciprocate all you have given. Well, you are right now by writing this letter, Jennifer. All my beloved friends received a copy of your book for Christmas, and the responses range from my so, I'm so excited to read this to she is so badass. Thanks, Jennifer. Lawrence writes, who are you? I think I may have found my spirit animal. Your spirit is definitely helping me through with depression and unemployment. Thanks so much. That makes me thrilled, Lawrence.

If you ever need an Asian sidekick with web development magic, let me know. Lawrence, everybody needs an Asian sidekick with web development magic. That position is currently filled right now, but you sound amazing and I'm sure that someone out there is about to get an amazing Asian sidekick with web development magic at his sparkling fingertips. So thank you for writing that awesome email. Sorry, I'm sniffly. And then he writes, also with a lot of breweries out there, which ones are your favorites. Well, probably my number one favorite is an oldie but a goodie, which is anchor brewing in San Francisco. That's probably the first microbrewery I fell for when I was at low, a young twosy. 21-year-old. And probably my favorite kind of mass-produced craft beer is Anchor Liberty, which is a tasty IPA. Yes, I'm a beer slut. I like IPA. Judge away. I also love Stone. Obviously, Lawrence, I've collaborated with them for the last three years on variations on their Woot Stout, Imperial Stout. And I do a big event with them every summer called Hot Con. And it's

always a lot of fun. It's a big beer party. And you get to taste like 50 beers and, eat meatballs. So if you ever get to San Diego during Comic-Con, come check that out. Michael says, hi, Aisha, I am a long-haul truck driver. I drive most of the 48 states. I don't have a satellite radio in my truck. And finding a radio station that lasts longer than a few miles is simply awful. My iPod gets boring after a while, even though I have like almost 18,000 songs on it. So I turned to podcast to keep me awake and entertain on the freaky-dicky roads of the U.S. And I got to tell you something, Michael, the fact that you're a long-haul truck driver and you just use the phrase freaky-diki makes me so happy.

I started listening to your podcast a short while ago, and now I just downloaded the app and purchased a subscription. It's the very least, excuse me, I could do to support you and this beautiful hobby of yours. I wish that I had been able to support your film project, but I didn't get to Kickstarter in time to pledge. I'm looking forward to seeing the final product nonetheless. Thanks, Michael.

I'm so excited, that's not English. I'm so excited to hear your back catalog of shows. You are a fantastic interviewer, and you never fail to move me with your own, emotional connection to your guest and their story. I can't wait to hear your shows with Shirley Manson. I'm going to scream down the road when I hear that one. Oh, that's such a good one.

She's amazing. And that's a great episode. This time, I imagine you've already listened to it. But for those who have not listened to Shirley Manson's episode, she's the lead singer of Garbage, obviously, and her episode is 61, girl and guy 61. She's amazing. Dang.

And he goes on to say, I love her and RuPaul, one of my long-time heroes and Margaret Cho, both amazing episodes. Thank you for you show and for you and all you do. You are the best, peace, love, and hair grease from your newest recruit, Michael. He says, P.S, the intro, outro for your show is fucking rad. Every time I hear that based on my truck, I just want to rock. Thank you. I love that open, too. For people who haven't seen my Comedy Central special, that is the music from the song

that opens my comedy central special, which came out, was that 2009? I don't even know. Isn't that awful? Why do I have so little information in my actual brain? Why must I Google everything? It was 2008, so I wasn't too far off. 2008, 2008, 2009. I think I shot it in 2008 and it aired in 2009. More information than you asked for. Tarik says, thanks for making me laugh. Think about it. A person I have never met you has made me laugh. My wife and I love you, have a discussion about what it is about you. makes us laugh. I think it is knowing how smart you are, how quick you are with the humor. My wife thinks it's your wit and smile. Anyway, thank you. We appreciate the work you do. Thank you both, Torek. That was the nicest email.

Anya, Anja says, my name is Anya. I live in a small town in the south of Russia. I'm pretty new to the podcast world and still try to figure things out. Find something that would interest me, something I like. While doing this little research of mine, I've stumbled upon your podcast and let me tell you, I was hooked after the very first episode I've listened to. It is such a perfect mixture of information, genuinely interesting conversations with such diverse, intelligent, fascinating people, and a wide variety of things discussed that it just blew me away. So I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for being so real, not only with your guests, but also with your listeners.

Yes, that's the word also with your listeners. Thank you for not being afraid of asking hard questions. Thank you for helping me learn about things I might never have been able to do on my own. Keep it up and best of luck with everything you do. Anya, thank you so much for writing that. And I'm thrilled. I mean, I don't even have words for how cool it is to know that somebody halfway around the planet is listening to Girl and Guy. Sometimes technology really is making the world better.

Bob says, first and foremost, I want to express the thanks to you for providing such a great podcast from the beginning. I've thoroughly enjoyed all of the interviews you put together, but mostly I've enjoyed the bits of yourself you have shared. It's always great to find outlets that are entertaining. Yet I think the podcasting medium provides listeners a chance to connect to some aspect of the people. they listen to as well. Thank you for opening that window into who you are. My question is based in blatant, selfish motivation. I will explain more after the question itself, as I feel it could stand alone first, and then I will give my reasons for asking it. Here's the question. Would you ever consider interviewing a member of your lesion for your podcast? So I'm not going to read everything. Well, no,

I'll read a little bit here. Bob says, the reason I propose it is because I'm a struggling artist, clawing and scratching to get my work recognized. It was very moving to listen to your mother, about the idea of pursuing life as an artist, and to hear you acknowledge your experience growing up with that. I currently work full-time at a middle school, and part Friday and Saturdays, at a hospital to pay the bills for my family. I have written and self-published a novel,

but did not have enough time or money to get it fully marketed. I also went back to school for my master's degree in education shortly after publishing, so that took away from that process as well. However, sometimes life places us on a path for a reason. And during teaching, I was able to meet a wonderful friend and fellow middle school teacher, We were the same age, had the same interest, and shared a hatred for the mundane bullshit that filters into small talk and the rote normalcy of most.

Also, you probably share hatred for small and stupid words, because, man, you're smart, Bob. Basically, we were a perfect pairing and even both had a passion for writing together while working whatever bits of free time we could manage. We finished a novel together, and I've laid out the structure for a huge series. It would be awesome to tell our story on a larger platform. Here's the deal, Bob. I'm going to, I, this is probably going to sound like a cop out, but I'll say two things. The first thing I'll say is that's awesome and you're awesome. And all I can tell you is to be persistent because I think the only thing separating great ideas from successful ideas is people who don't give up. That said, I can never read any unsolicited material. I'm sure you probably heard that from other people because it's just legally too challenging. If you read somebody's stuff, and then later something you do, realize that will something they do. So I just don't do it.

It's always been a policy that I've had. I respect people's creative effort, and I'm just one percent. So nothing I say is going to validate what you're doing. You validate that for yourself. But it's exciting that you've found someone who empowers you and who shares your passion, because I think that's a really good, an engine for, at the very least, your own creative satisfaction.

I do encourage you to continue to write and continue to work to get your writing scene because you sound amazing. And I think that you are passionate and excited and engaged and that's all you need to do great work. Christina says, you're amazing and I should have taken your word on Penny Dreadful sooner. But I'm silly and decided to procreate so the spawn took up most of my time in the last couple years. Just wanted to say I'm a social scientist of sorts. I guess, when do you ever really become the thing you aim to be, in parentheses? And I find inspiration in the origin stories of artists.

I promise we're not all that different. The odd paths to find anyone calling, the fits and starts, the hustle of it all. We more science he than it seems. Neil Tyson didn't scratch the surface there, but he's got other important work to do, so I won't hold it against him. Yes, he does. Anyway, thank you for continuing what you do on the show, even though it's not as frequently as you or others might like.

You, madam, are living your truth, and that is beautiful. being yourself and letting us all catch a glimpse. Much love from flyover country, Christina. Christina, you're excellent. There's no flyover country lady. You're kicking ass wherever you are. Kay says, long time listener, first time caller. Just want to say that whenever a podcast I love goes away or goes less frequent, of course I feel bummed, but mostly I feel happy that the people I love and admire are having so much success and they realize that they are taking care of themselves. All the best to you. Thank you, Kay, for your support. Ben says, hi, Aisha. I just wanted to say, thank you for helping make my 21st birthday at SDCCC, San Diego Comic-Con.

Amazing. Girl on Guy Live was amazing. It will forever be ingrained in my mind, as during the taping, my grandfather had passed away. Despite going through that loss, being there listening to you and Travis created a positive memory that helped to make that day bittersweet. Thank you for everything you do to bring joy and laughter into the world. We need it. Thanks, Ben.

I'm thrilled. That's such a painful thing to go through. I'm glad that you had something fun to do in that time. And that was such a great day that episode. It was a live show. It was our, I would say ours. It's just me, just me and my assistant.

But it was the annual fan appreciation day that we always do at Comic-Con. And everybody got presents and got to taste my beer that I made with stone and got T-shirts and posters. and it was a wonderful day, and Travis was so great. That's episode 217, if you'd like to listen back. I'm glad that you were there, Ben.

Thanks for coming. Justine says, hi, Ayesha, I just wanted to drop you a line. Yesterday, as I came home from work, I was greeted by my award of your and Emily Betts signed photo. That's one of the Kickstarter awards for my movie access, for those of you who haven't heard of it. I quickly looked at it in excitement and tossed it on the table. I had an election party to get to.

well, dot, dot, dot. You can probably guess how my night went. I am a single white straight woman living in Wisconsin. I have a pretty great job teaching college students, television of all things. I actually took students of mine to a double-taking of the talk in January 2015. I hope to again in January 2017 and freaked the fuck out at seeing you live. I had a sleepless night worrying about everything. My friends who are black, gay, and every other kind of configuration that Trump is against. I woke up not knowing how I could go into work and face co-workers I know voted for Trump and students who are shattered by the bleak reality of our election process. On the way out the door, I took one last look at your postcards, and I read your note on the back about being a fantastic

person, and I started laughing and crying. It was the cathartic moment I needed to walk out the door with my head held high and face the day. The day still sucked, but whenever I needed to pick me up, I thought of that card. Consider this a message reminding me, you that you are also a fantastic person. This is when art and storytelling can help us understand and escape these tough times. Thanks for being you. I shall raise a glass of Maker's Mark in your honor tonight. From a fellow whiskey lover and fantastic person, Justine in Wisconsin, Justine, I think that this helped me as much as that card helped you. So thanks for taking the time to write it. I know that there are people listening to this show who are on the other side of

the political spectrum from me. I respect you and I respect your choices. And while I'm not just unhappy, but pretty alarmed by where we are politically in this country, I will remind everybody out there, we have been in much more dire straits and we have always, always transcended. so if you believe deeply in your principles don't give up and no matter what side of this measma you're on treat your views and the views of others with respect

and never give up, never back down unless you're a dick and then go away one last letter Sia. Oh, God, I hope Sia's the singer. Even if she's not, let's just decide that this is Sia, the singer, writing me. Oh, my God. It's such a beautiful name.

She says, hello, Aisha, long-time fan. Loved you since I saw you on Talk Super. I remember hearing you on K-Rock with Kevin and Bean. That was really cool. I started listening to your podcast last year. I went back to listen to all the episodes. Want you to know that at the time I started listening to Grow On Guy, I was going through a super crappy point of my life.

I was feeling really low, like a major loser, like what the hell am I doing with my life? Surely there's got to be something more to this cycle of crappy nothingness. But listening to your podcasts, it was the segment of the origin story that made me feel like possibilities are real. I'm not planning on being an actor or anything in entertainment, but hearing your guests talk about how they started and worked hard and landed where they are now was like a light to me.

At that point in my life, I needed to hear that. I needed a real life reminder that, yes, life can suck, but it can't suck forever. You really helped me out of that emotional pit that I was in. So I just want to say thank you for having your podcast at all and for the origin story part of your show and for always encouraging your army to keep creating shit. Hope you have a kick-ass 2016. Well, see ya. You know, I'm just making my little show, but, you know, if it helped you at all, I'm so grateful. And I always will be.

This is something that I love making and I've loved making. and I've loved for such a long time and that it touches people in that way is really a privilege, a privilege that I do not take lightly. So thanks for writing that email and thanks for being so amazing. Everyone who has listened to this show

over the last five years. Okay. So, first of all, I want to thank everybody again for taking the time to write. I tried to get to as many letters as I possibly could. I obviously couldn't get to all of the letters that I got this year, but I tried very hard to address as many as possible. And one of the reasons is that I have an announcement to make, and that is that this is going to be the last episode of Girl and Guy for a while.

I love making the show, and it's such a part of me, but what I'm finding now is that it is more and more challenging to make it, not just because I'm working so many hours during the week that I don't have time to edit the show or post it, but because I actually don't have the time to do the interviews. As you can imagine, a lot of the people that I'm trying to meet with are incredibly busy as well. And it's very difficult to get someone to commit to come doing an interview on like a Sunday between four and five, which is sometimes the only hole I have to do the show. And it's just been a real challenge to put this show together this year. I had to think about what I wanted to do with the next little bit of my life and how I was going to spend my time. And for the foreseeable future, I will be on four television series, The Talk, Archer, Criminal Minds, and Whose Lies in Any Way. And in addition, as most of you know, I just directed my first feature and it went, it was such a great experience. It's really where I want to spend all of the rest of my available time is becoming a film director and writing film scripts and producing films.

And that's what I want to do with a tiny sliver of available time I have left over after I make those four shows. So something had to give. and it was a really painful decision and I arrived at it over many months of changing my mind and changing my mind back and saying I'm no I'm sticking with it and then saying no I'm going to put it to bed

but what I realized was I didn't have a choice I just wasn't going to be able to make it anymore with this tiny bit of time I have available to me so this episode of Girl on Guy was even though I read a lot of your thank you notes This was really a thank you letter to you. To everyone who's listened to my show for the five seasons that I've been making it, for the 260 episodes that I've made,

I can't thank you enough for the years of enthusiasm and passion and love and support that you have brought as listeners to this show. I just wanted to make a fun little show where I talked to my friends and I asked them questions about their work, and we laughed and we said bad words and occasionally we drank on air. And I got so much more out of this show than I ever could have calculated or hoped for. And the biggest reason for that is you guys, is the Army. You know, I just wanted to make a fun little show and the number of times that people have

written in and said, you got me through a rough time, you got me through a death. or a breakup or a low point in my career or in my creative life or a few years ago, a listener who wrote in and said, you know, my mother and I listened to your show together before she passed away, I never expected or hoped that I could have affected anybody in any meaningful way. And the fact that you took the time to tell me how the show affected you and to tell me the ways in which it might have helped you is so generous. I'm sure some of you thought, I'm just writing our little note, but you can't know how generous it is to stop your life, which, you know, full and busy and challenging and difficult and take the time and to reach out and

say these words to me. It's such an act of kindness that you have, you've engaged in when you've written these letters to me. Every year when I get to sit down and read your letters, it's the best part of the year for me because I get to thank you. So please know that this is, not ideal, but I'm just one woman and I can't do it all. I cannot bring home the bacon and also fried up in the pan. I can purchase bacon from a bodega and bring it home and then immediately drop it on the dusty floor, rinse it off in the sink, and eat it by the fistful while watching Luke Cage. That's the best that I can do. I cannot do it all, but I wanted to reassess my dreams and the energy I was going to put into them.

And I thought, well, if I'm going to try to become a film director, I'd better start putting a little bit more elbow grease into it. And that's what I'm doing. I just directed my first film, Access. I literally just locked it the final cut of it today. I'm submitting it to festivals. I hope you'll get to see it next year, either in a theater near you. are on video on demand, and I'm getting ready to put the next one together, and I need a little bit more time to do that. The little bit of time I have left in my days and weeks needs to be

devoted to that. I encourage any of you who are thinking, I have a dream, and someday I'm going to do it, to just strike someday from your vocabulary. It doesn't have to be that you, you know, run away from your family and join the circus, but start carving out of it. a little bit of time every day or week or month just for yourself, just for your goals. You know, there are no do-overs. And that has been very much my whole life, but in the last couple of years, my governing philosophy. You know, we're not going to get to come back and do this over again.

And so don't stop loving or caring for your family. But start caring for yourself. no one is going to do it as well as you will do it and no one is going to take it as seriously as you will take it I had Henry Rollins on the show years ago I think in my first season when I was still recording at the Redbury Hotel and I idolized him I saw a black flag at the farm in San Francisco and I was a wee pup

he's such a compelling and fascinating guy he's got his own podcast and he's a radio show here in L.A. And he speaks all over the country and he's written a million books. But there's this quote of his that I love. And I think I'll post it on the website. And it goes, there's no such thing as spare time. No such thing is free time.

No such thing is downtime. All you got is lifetime. Go. I encourage all of you to take whatever bit of inspiration or support. or encouragement or reinforcement that you have found in my little show in one fist and take your dreams in the other and go. You are my army. You are brilliant.

You are kind. You are inspirational. And you are Legion. I'll see you out there. Girl on Guy is a production of Hot Machine, blowing shit up since 2009.