Girls Gone Bible - Authority Over Mental Health | Girls Gone Bible

Episode Date: January 26, 2024

trigger warning: depression, anxiety, panic attacks, OCD, eating disorders hey GGB gang ♡ today is a heavy topic and will be an emotional episode. we always want to preface our conversations on mental health with saying that we are not doctors or psychologists. we are not experts in mental health disorders. and we don't know what is going on in your unique situation with your mental health. we can only share our personal journeys and experiences in hopes that it helps you feel less alone. we speak from a spiritual/biblical/emotional perspective so you can learn something from all that we've learned. "Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you." Luke 10:19 we want to encourage you and empower you to walk in the authority granted to you by God through His Son, Jesus. our mental health is delicate. your mind belongs to Jesus. we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. we love you so much. Jesus loves you more. -Ang & Ari if you’d like to support Girls Gone Bible 🙏🏻🕊️🤍 Paypal- https://www.paypal.me/girlsgonebibleinfo Venmo- https://www.venmo.com/u/girlsgonebible Today, our listeners can subscribe to Earth Breeze and save 40% by going to EarthBreeze.com/GGB

Hey, Ange. Hey, Ari. Hi, guys. You think we'd get better at this by now? You think we'd be better at this, yeah. I'm Ari. I'm Angela. And this is Girls Gone Bible.

We are a faith-based podcast. We talk all things Jesus, anything to do with life, mental health, spirituality, spiritual warfare. Whether you're Christian or not, whether you're religious or not, I believe that you can get something out of this. You can learn something. If nothing else, I promise we can entertain you for two hours. Oh, that we can promise you. And we promise you can feel safe with us. Absolutely, you can. What's up, R? Hey. Is anything new in our lives? Well, I don't,

is anything new? Okay, so we did Renewal of the Mind last week, and what has happened since? Oh, I've come to a huge revelation in my life. What? You know, remember how sacrifice was my word? What? You know, remember how sacrifice was my word? Is it gone? No, no. I've sacrificed more. Okay, tell me.

So, and I'm telling this to GGB gang because we're going to be very vulnerable today on the podcast. So I thought I'd start it off with telling you guys a very vulnerable thing that's going on in my life. I have to be single. Okay? have to be single okay so this is my vow to you and to God and to GGB gang that for a whole I got a word from God that he wants me to be single for a year I don't know if I heard year correctly we're still negotiated negotiating I'm trying out six months but this is my vow to you guys and you're gonna hold me accountable right well I'm glad to listen to God because I've been telling you this for freaking months. You don't know what I go through. I'm sorry. I can't take it anymore. I just, all right, we'll probably take this out. No. So that's your sacrifice. I'm proud of you. Thank you so much. How does that make you feel?

Are you nervous? Actually, no, I feel really empowered. I'm ready. I think I'm a little bit, are you excited? I'm excited. Okay. Well, I think I'm a little bit. Are you excited? I'm excited. Okay, well, I think I'm a little bit more excited because I have you all to myself. Hey, there's nothing like me getting out of a relationship that makes Ari happier. I come crawling back like, hi. And you know what's funny, though? When I'm not in a relationship, it gives us more room to argue because I'll start being a brat to Ari instead of somebody that I'm with. Oh, she is such a little brat. Oh, coming from you. She was a little brat this morning.

I was, and I apologize to you for being a brat. Sorry to cut you off. Oh, it's okay. Okay. The thing with me is, is that if you don't have a couple tiffs and a little fights with your friends, I don't believe that you're real friends. If we don't fight once in a while, I'm like, are we good a hundred percent I think it's important in any relationship to have arguments and conflict but I came from a few friendships that I couldn't argue in them I couldn't really speak my mind so I remember when you and I became friends you're kind of like a bad out of how can we say that how am I bad out of how you because you are just you so, you're very vocal in how you're feeling.

And so, and I told you, I came from these friendships where I felt like I couldn't really speak up. They didn't really, it was just a weird thing where we couldn't really have open communication like that. So when I came into our friendship, do you remember the first little thing that we got into, the first argument? She panicked. I thought it was over for us I thought it was way before girls on bible I literally start bawling my eyes out because you said something like I'm concerned for this friend you said something like that and it triggered me so hard I thought you were breaking up with me I felt so bad because it's like you

thought I was gonna abandon you and so started crying. And you literally started dying laughing. And you're looking at me and you're like, what is going on? We're fine. Because me and my friends back at home, we do it like every other day, which I don't know if that's healthy. Well, that's how I am with my family. But then with friends, I just had a couple of things where we couldn't be that way. I know.

Bat wings? Is that why you did that? No, I was doing it with my own hair. What are we talking about today? We want to cover all the aspects of mental health, depression, anxiety. There's so many forms of it. And truly, I was thinking about it. This is a huge reason why I'm so passionate about Girls Gone Bible because I struggled immensely with it

and I still battle a lot of things. And if it wasn't by the grace of God, I would be somewhere in a ditch right now. So that's why I am just, I am so passionate about mental health, mental illness, anxiety, depression. There is just so many people struggling right now in despair, and they need hope. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we want to cover all things mental illness as much as we can, and we obviously always want to preface it by saying that we're not doctors. We're not psychologists. We don't know everything to do with the biological, psychological, or

medicinal side of mental health. We can only come from a place of what the Bible says and what we've experienced. We hope to one day have mental health specialists on to dive more like we would love during mental health month to do a full month with specialists coming in, speaking about certain mental health disorders. Um, but today we're going to kind of go through a generalized overview of, of different types of mental illness. And we are going to have an emphasis on authority, biblical authority, the authority that we have through Jesus. Um, this is so close to our hearts, biblical authority, the authority that we have through Jesus. This is so close to our hearts, you guys, because like Ari said, we've both dealt with, we found Jesus because of mental health issues. I think that the crux and the heart of Girls Gone Bible is a healing ministry,

a ministry in which we empower others to receive healing through Jesus because it's real. We say it all the time, the healing. I just went through all of Acts. The healing miracles that Jesus and his disciples did in the New Testament in person, in the flesh, still happens today. You don't understand the same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead dwells within us right now. And we have power to heal ourselves, to heal others. Prayer is healing. And we just power to heal ourselves, to heal others. Prayer is healing. And we just have so much authority through Jesus. And we want you guys to know that. And we want that to give you comfort in your suffering. So we want to start today with Hebrews 13. So the book

of Hebrews is basically, it's written by, it's unknown who the writer is. They believe it might have been Paul. It's basically a book in the Bible that talks all about the supremacy of Jesus. It's very theological and it kind of, it goes over everything about the old law and about how we used to have a high priest that would intercede between us and God. that would intercede between us and God, and he would bring a sacrifice to God on behalf of us and our sins, and that we basically never had a direct connection to God. And then when God sent Jesus, Jesus became the final and ultimate high priest, and he became the one and only last sacrifice for the atonement for our sins. And so it basically talks all about the supremacy of Jesus. And that goes so well with what we're talking about today, because Jesus is supreme and he is Lord and he does reign over mental illness and everything to do with those things. So we're going to start off with Hebrews 13.

Keep on loving each other as brothers and sisters. Don't forget to show hospitality to strangers. For some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it. Remember those in prison as if you were there yourself. Remember also those being mistreated as if you felt their pain in your own bodies. Give honor to marriage and remain faithful to one another in marriage. give honor to marriage and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.

Don't love money. Be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, I will never fail you. I will never abandon you. So we can say this with confidence. The Lord is my helper. So I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?

Remember your leaders who taught you the word of God. Think of all the good that has come from their lives and follow the example of their faith. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. So do not be attracted by strange new ideas. Your strength comes from God's grace, not from rules about food which don't help those who follow them. We have an altar from which the priests in the tabernacle have no right to eat. Under the old system, the high priest brought the blood of animals into the holy place as a sacrifice for sin, and the bodies of the animals were burned outside the camp,

so also Jesus suffered and died outside the city gates to make his people holy by means of his own blood. So let us go out to him outside the camp and bear the disgrace that he bore, for this world is not our permanent home. We are looking forward to a home yet to come. Therefore, let us offer through Jesus a continual sacrifice of praise to God, proclaiming our allegiance to his name. And don't forget to do good and to share with those in need. These are the sacrifices that please God. Now may the God of peace who brought up from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, and ratified an eternal covenant with his blood. May he equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to him. All glory to him forever and ever. Amen. Oh man, I love that so much. I know. There are a couple of things that

I just wanted to go over. I think about here when it says, because Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. That's why going by the word of God, you can never be wrong. That's why we try not to ever rely on our own feelings, emotions, will, thoughts, and ideas that ever go against the Word of God because our ideas and feelings change every single day, whereas the Word of God and Jesus are the same yesterday, today, and forever. I think about here where it says, do not be attracted by strange new ideas. Your strength comes from God's grace. I think about new ideas being like new age and everything that happens. And I've just been seeing so much about manifestation and so much tarot recently. And I don't know why it's coming up on my For You page and my Explore page because

I don't look at that stuff. And so we have to have a whole episode on that because that opens a lot of doors, which can really affect your mental health. Yeah, you know, I love that you say that because when I was going through my bad break of mental health, that was my whole social media was tarot readers and these new age manifesting things. And I'm telling you what happened to my mind during that time when I was watching that stuff. It was such poison to my mind. It creates an opening for the enemy to get in and destroy it and plant seeds in it. And it destructs it. And so it's really hard because that literally is all people are teaching right now. They're putting all of that before God.

Manifest. Sit by yourself. You said last episode, and I loved what you said about don't ever empty your mind. Fill your mind with the Word of God. You couldn't have said that more beautifully because it's true when you empty the mind, what do you have? You're just opening your mind for the enemy to get in. And yeah, I really hope we can do an episode on that because truly when I was going through my hard times, like those things really destructed my head.

And I know that so many people go to that for healing and it's not going to heal you. It's going to ruin your mind. Yeah. And just know too, that the reason those things probably come up so much when you're desperate for hope is because you're vulnerable and the enemy knows that you're vulnerable and he knows that you're going to grasp at whatever you can find that looks like healing. These are the angel masks, the devil masquerades around as an angel of light when he's really Satan. And that's exactly what this stuff is. It comes in a package of being light and healing.

And as Ari said, it only brings destruction and distraction away from your one true source of healing. And that is Jesus. And it's the word of God. So I I'm just going up. And one that um caught my mind was I will never feel you I will never abandon you and at times when I felt so abandoned like that's the one thing I learned through my healing journey is that through everything through my abandonment that I felt when I felt isolated and alone God never left me and he taught me what unconditional love is and that's why when I do get into my next relationship I now know I never thought I'd ever really truly know what

unconditional love is you know I have that from my family, of course, but he has given me so much grace. He never abandoned me, not one second through my hard times. He was right there with me. He brought me up. He vindicated me. He loved me. He never left me or forsaked me. Like he truly showed me unconditional love and grace.

unconditional love and grace. And I just want you guys to know that through your hard times and depression, and he will never feel you. He will never leave your side. He will never abandon you. You are never alone. Amen. Thank you, Jesus. So true. And I think about he never left you and he never left me in times that we probably deserve to be left. And I think about God's grace, how merciful he is. And I'm so grateful because I think about times where God is so holy and there's no, he should not, he's such a holy God. He has no business being around sin, being near sin. And there's so many times in my life that he should have removed his hand from my life. And he chose to keep it there. Yeah, yeah.

And I'm just like where sin abounds, grace abounds much more. And we couldn't be more grateful for him not taking his hand off of us. I know I look up at him sometimes and I just say, I don't deserve it. off of us. I know I look up at him sometimes and I just say, I don't deserve it. I don't deserve it. But man, you have given me so much grace through the times where you really shouldn't have, you know? And then I guess let's just one more time of saying how it's important to emphasize that Jesus suffered and died outside the city gates to make his people holy by means of his own blood. Every mental illness, mental health issue, disorder, everything that you're dealing with was that was bought at a price with blood. And when Jesus died on the cross, mental illness died with

him. That is what you need to understand today. And then right here where it says, you need to understand today. And then right here where it says, may he produce in you through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to him, the power that is through Jesus Christ. Today, we're going to talk all about the fact that we have power through Jesus Christ. May he equip you with all you need for doing his will. He will equip you even when you're not qualified. Believe me. Have you guys ever wondered why laundry detergent comes in these massive plastic containers? They're heavy, they're messy, and they're hard to store. And worst of all, 91% of plastic doesn't even get recycled. That leaves laundry jugs to sit in landfills for centuries to come. Well, I wanted to ditch the jug.

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Thank you, EarthBreeze, for sponsoring this video. How do we want to start? Do we want to start with both of us? We struggle with different things, and we share that with each other, and we get each other through that. But I want to just talk about, I mean, I know that, do you mind if we jump into yours? Yeah. I know that. Can we jump into your mental illness? Well, why don't we share, because I know that sometimes, you know, God is a healer, but sometimes there's things that we have to battle. Yeah. We

have to battle every day. We have to battle every day. And why don't you share with us? I know that you've shared a lot about your addiction with alcohol and how you overcame that. And why don't you just share, just share what you, what you go through and what you battle. Yeah. So, so Ari and I have an episode called War of the Mind. If you guys have not watched that, it's one of our earliest episodes. And it talks a lot about we really dive into our personal journeys with it. And I almost feel like we would have to have an episode, which we probably will, based on each. Because I've battled anxiety and panic attacks and OCD and addiction.

You've battled depression and anxiety and OCD and obsessive thoughts. And so it's like we could take a whole episode for each one of those things to really get into it. I think a huge part of what we want to do today is because, again, like we're not doctors and we can't tell you how to physiologically overcome all these things. We can only come from like a spiritual place and a practical place of what we did. We, we know that there is something so healing and simply knowing that you're not alone. And we, we just hope that that brings you comfort that even if we talk about things that, and don't give an explanation of how to overcome it right away. We hope that it's healing in and of itself to know that we've experienced these things too. And so do unfortunately,

unfortunately, millions of people in the world. So I, I've talked about it before how I used to deal with when I got into my twenties, when I turned like 19, I had a panic attack for the first time and it was so bad. I had never had one before. It was so bad that I went to the hospital because I thought that I was dying. The doctors put me in a wheelchair in the corner and they were literally just like, you're fine, like you'll be over it in a second. But I didn't know what was happening to me. And I didn't have Jesus in my life.

I didn't know about spiritual warfare. I didn't know about any of this stuff. So that triggered chronic panic attacks in my life. I didn't know about spiritual warfare. I didn't know about any of this stuff. So that triggered chronic panic attacks in my life. And I know that's the story for a lot of people that you can have one panic attack and then have panic attacks every day for the rest of your life. Because when something, it like releases something in your body that is so scary. And then the thing about panic disorder is that you will have panic attacks about having panic attacks. And that's what my life became. I spent 24 hours a day in fear that I was going to have a panic attack, which resulted

in me not leaving the house. I developed agoraphobia. I wouldn't leave the house. I was scared to get in the car. I've told you guys this before, but like there was a point in time where I could not drive a car. I would get into it. I would have a panic attack.

I would get dizzy. I would get faint. I get into it. I would have a panic attack. I would get dizzy. I would get faint. I would think I was going to have a heart attack. This is all it sounds so crazy when it comes out of your mouth. But it's so real that people experience this all the time. And when you don't know that other people are experiencing this, you will think that you're losing your mind. You will think that there's something wrong with you. I mine got kept getting progressively worse because I thought there's something wrong with you I mind got kept

getting progressively worse because I thought there was something wrong with me I thought that I was crazy you know what I mean long do the last four I had the first panic attack when I was like 1920 I stopped having panic attacks when I was like 24 when were you were you drinking at this time? At 19? Not heavily. No, not so, so the panic attacks weren't a result. Later on, I started drinking to mask the anxiety and then that perpetuated the panic attacks, which it was just like this vicious cycle. But when I was, when I was during that time that it started, no, I wasn't, I was just, I don't even know.

The only thing I can attribute it to is I just started having spiritual warfare. I just, I don't know what doors maybe I was opening. I'm not sure. When I look back on it, it doesn't seem like anything was super crazy or wrong. Actually, you know, what's funny is it's like the enemy used those issues in my life to drive me to things that were then going to hurt me and separate me from God. Because then I started looking for comfort in all these different things because I was dealing with so much internally. Can I ask what? Just anxiety, just fear.

What were you looking for comfort in? Alcohol, attention, relationships. You know what I mean? Just all the, all the things. Um, and so I, I dealt, so panic attacks and anxiety of anxiety after I was like 20, maybe like when I turned 22, it really got amped up to the point where I then started, it felt like I was disassociating. Yes. Disassociating. Somebody asked, can you really get it, dive into that? Yeah. Cause they struggle with that. Can I just, do you mind if I get the definition of something really quick? Yeah. I can't wait to hear yours. I'll try to make this quick.

No, you're not making it quick. I don't want it to be on me. Please, I don't. I don't want to get it off me. So depersonalization and derealization disorder occurs when you always or often feel that you are seeing yourself from outside your body or you sense that things around you are not real or both feelings of derealization and depersonalization can be very disturbing isn't isn't it too um depersonalization when you're i could be wrong but like when you're sitting there and people are speaking to you, but you're almost like gone.

Yeah. Yeah. That was me all year. The main difference comes down to. I'm so sorry. Laugh through the pain. No, it's the only thing you can do because otherwise we'll lose our minds with stuff like this. You got to laugh at it sometimes.

The main difference between derealization and depersonalization comes down to internal versus external awareness. Someone experiencing depersonalization feels disconnected from themselves, from their bodies, thoughts, feelings, and sensations. Someone experiencing derealization feels disconnected from the outside world, other people, objects, time, and location. I experienced both of them. Oh yeah. How long did you experience that? I truly cannot even picture it. I know. Because it's just not who you are anymore. I know. Like, you're so present and you have such an unshakable faith.

How long did you experience that for? So I'm trying to think of the first time I started. I experienced both of them I think I started really experiencing them probably in like 2000 when I was like 20 21 20 probably like 22 because that's when my drinking got really like really took a I was like whoa I don't feel good this is really scary what's happening to me or yeah so it started probably a year before I started drinking but then you know it's funny after I stopped drinking derealization depersonalization is what I ate went up like 30 notches because my body had been through so much my nervous system was so shot

that I it was trying to like regulate itself people I don't think talk about enough like it's such a beautiful thing getting sober after getting sober is one of the sometimes people experience something called called being on a pink cloud where they're really like happy and ecstatic I experienced so much disassociating because I was losing it like I I did not have my thing anymore, my crutch. And so I had, I was left to myself in my mind, nothing to numb it. And I, my body, I was experiencing such a heightened state of anxiety that my body started to separate itself as a means to protect itself. And I'll never forget, it was quarantine and I was sitting with my family.

We're playing cards around it. We played a lot of cards during quarantine. I'm sitting with my family. We're playing cards around it. We played a lot of cards during quarantine. I'm sitting with my family. No, not spades. This little banian game that they won't play with me anymore because we would always fight. I'm sitting around with my family and we're playing cards and this is my family that I've known my entire life.

And I remember looking up and they all felt like strangers. And I felt like, I can't tell if I felt disconnected from myself or them or both, but I just felt I was not a part of whatever was going on. So weird. I didn't know them. I got up so fast. I went into the bathroom. I'm losing it, losing it.

I'm sitting there being like, I'm crazy. Something is wrong with me. I have lost it. I've been ditched, like detached from my brain. Like I did not know how to explain what was happening. And then when it happened the first time it kept happening and then it would scare me. And then I would be afraid that it was going to happen. And the enemy loves to prey on your fear like that. That's why you have to understand that all of these things that happen here in your head, they're all lies. They're not actually happening. They are happening. It's valid what you're

feeling, but it's not real. It's not dangerous. You're not going to get hurt. I remember, so it just like kept perpetuating itself because it was so scary. And I kept, I kept just, I was so afraid. I was so afraid. If you guys think I'm bold today, I wish you could have seen me then. I was literally, I couldn't look people in the eye. I was such an anxious wreck. I couldn't hold a conversation. I couldn't be face to face. Like it was so funny that the enemy wants so, I know we've said it before.

We'll say it again. The enemy wants so badly to strip you of your confidence and your boldness because you cannot be anything that God has created you to be when you're not confident, when you're not bold. Fear is the number one thing that will hold you back from anything and everything good in life, from doing anything of significance. And so, and I, and we've said it before and we'll say it again, that literally when you, especially when you have a calling on your life, understand that that is why the enemy is after you so hard. That's why you're getting attacked so hard because you can't reach your calling when

you're scared. You're not going to go for it. You're not going to do anything. And so I remember I called a therapist for the first time. It's the only like therapy session I had. I called this woman and I was like, I just started bawling my eyes out. And I'm like, hi, I can't tell anyone in my family. I can't tell anyone, but like something is wrong with me. This woman, thank you, Jesus. And what is that scripture that's in? I think it's in James and it's like confess to one another and pray for the forgiveness of your sins or something along the lines of that.

Confession is everything. It's freeing. You will free yourself once you get the words out. And if you tell one person about what you're going through, I tell this woman and she literally, in the softest voice, she didn't say anything profound. She didn't say anything prophetic. She just goes, oh no, that's really normal

what you're experiencing. It's actually called derealization, depersonalization. And it's a symptom of anxiety. You're having really bad anxiety and it's making you think all these things and it's making you feel detached, but you're actually completely fine and it's more common think all these things and it's making you feel detached but you're actually completely fine and it's more common than not you're not crazy and it's not dangerous you're not losing your mind free free comforting right oh i was just like other people

experience this i'm not alone it's not dangerous i going to die. And I'm also not losing my mind. And I'm not alone. I'm not alone. I know. And it's normal. People go through it. Yeah. So comforting to know that. Yeah. Because because when you do go through these things, you feel crazy. You feel like you're alone, like you like, oh, no one understands. You feel like you're alone, like you like, oh, no one understands. It does feel like you're the only person in the world when you're struggling with your mental health. You do. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's. Yeah. Yeah. So basically, after that, you guys know, I went through a long journey. I tried meditation. I tried I did breath work, which actually is very beautiful and very helpful. I love breath work, not some sort of like meditation breath work, but like just focusing on your breath with different

techniques. I think it's phenomenal. And there was a lot of things, practical things that I was doing that helped ease the anxiety and helped all that. And we'll get into that as well. But another element of things that I have to battle, and this is the truth, is like I was diagnosed with OCD a few years ago. And I say diagnosed because I never say I have OCD because it's not something that I choose to identify with. I don't have anything except the Spirit of God within me. There are some genetic predispositions that I have to deal with,

um, things that are in my bloodline, things within my family, things that have been, um, have happened as a result of choices I've made in life. But I know that OCD runs in my family. I can see it in family members. We have very similar patterns and things. Um, and while God is a healer, Jesus is a healer and he has healed me guys he's healed me from I I like I'll still have an occasional panic attack Aria seen it in the car where I'll be like you have no idea I go like this because all of a sudden I'll get dizzy I don't know what it is what is it please please we're in the car one time and i'm on a call and i see her and i look over she goes she's going panic attack panic attack and i go okay it's okay it's okay i'm rubbing her back she starts

ripping off her jacket and ripping it in the back seat she's ripping off the layers of her clothes it's not funny it is so funny I'm turning up the air really high I'm rolling down the window I'm like it's okay it's okay I'm okay it will happen occasionally but it's like now I know it's due to

like a lack of sleep maybe I didn't eat maybe I'm doing whatever but um and I look at not doing whatever guys no not that I mean do it like that's nothing bad I'm just saying like it's a result of like maybe I'm not treating myself the way that I should be or not up to par like health-wise doing whatever get out of here and Ari goes I'm like I'm like I think I'm having a little bit of and you guys know how prideful I am and how I try to put on a strong front. So I won't like admit how bad it is. I'm just like, I'm having a panic attack. Okay. Right. Anyway. So OCD that has been instrumental in my anxiety. Thank you OCD for giving me, um, a result of OCD a lot of the time. And I really would love to go in depth one day in an episode

all about OCD but OCD is obsessive compulsive disorder and people think that it's like means that you need to be organized and clean and that's um could be an uh component um like a component effect of it thank you so much thank you Ari hey guys how's my vocabulary doing honestly great um and it was a component of uh it was a it was an element it was a result uh anyways what I'm trying to say is sometimes that can be the case but a lot of the time it comes like how it does for Ari and I in thoughts obsessive thoughts you can get fixated on an idea on a thought especially a negative thought and it can it could be a very small insignificant thought that if you feed and you give attention to it can blow up and become this massive thing in your head that it was never

supposed to be and that was happening to me a lot I would fixate on health anxiety thinking something was wrong with me alcoholismism, a lot of the time, is a result of OCD because you have that obsessive compulsive part of you that is a binge drinker or just can never have to or will just always take it too far. That's like the obsessive compulsive aspect of it. Another part of this could be eating disorders. lot of the time eating disorders can be a result of OCD they're linked oftentimes and I've never shared this part of my life it's not a big deal but okay all right all right okay let me just preface this we got to start this over because it is a big deal to people I know I know I know i know i know okay hold on really quick we're just gonna take a moment lord what i'm fine i'm gonna talk about it okay

no and no i'm saying it's not a big don't laugh because people i'm not laughing so i'm so proud of you thank you i appreciate it so eating so eating no so i'm gonna preface this by saying it's so funny when it comes to mental health issues and disorders that usually when you're out of something and you've conquered it and it's a celebration of what you've overcome, it's so easy to talk about. I can talk about the days of being an alcoholic all day long with no shame and actually so much boldness and confidence and joy about it because I'm past it. I've overcome it. I've healed from it. And there

is no option of going back in my mind. And it's not a fear that I have. When I was drinking, you never heard me talk about it. You never heard me say anything about it, even though I knew there was an issue. Nobody else did. I didn't share it with one person nobody nobody called you out on that no except Jake my boyfriend at the time because he was the closest person to me and your friends never did no but and my friends maybe your friend my friends were drinking too so I would have had you by the head of the hair I know but when you're not doing anything different than the people around you you know what I mean like nobody how can anybody but even my mom like she did even to, my mom was like, I don't think you were an alcoholic. And I'm like, I was, she's like, I just didn't see that. Anyways, something that I deal with and I believe

it's derived from having OCD is this issue around disordered eating. And it's so easy to talk about something when you're past it. It's really hard to talk about something when you are in the middle of it and you don't know the answers. I don't know how to give advice on something that I still currently deal with. I will oftentimes, I just get really obsessive. I have things like safe foods. Like, I know we joke a lot about the Quest bars and stuff, but that's because it's become, like, a safety thing for me. I feel okay when I eat that. It doesn't bring up any negative emotions when I have the Quest bar. Right.

It doesn't bring up negative emotions when I have, I'm on an oatmeal kick. I feel good. I feel safe when I eat oatmeal. Anytime that I go to dinner it's okay what the heck so proud of you oh no i'm probably making me cry no because it's it's it's a weird thing i'm so proud of you i'm not doing this no because there's like a lot of um no it's it'll bring up like anxiety yeah like when you go to dinner you know what i mean yeah

like when you have when you work because it's not a safe food for you where you think that you might you have when you work because it's not a safe food for you where you think that you might just feel bad about like feel bad about if you eat a meal that you're not that you like about weight right yeah yes yeah it is it's about weight but it's not even about weight as much as it is about control and feeling safe in things yeah you know do you have tissues it's okay okay it's okay um it's okay jesse we're good no thanks um it yeah can you like just what what can you explain like because even like i want to understand it better as your friend what what what is the obsessive feeling what is the feeling that you think when when say if we go to dinner just like I don't know that's why I like to go to the same places too and I order the same thing because I know that I'll feel okay there are just certain

things and certain foods that bring guilt and I don't know why um they feel like unsafe and they feel and and there's an element of like when I go to dinner that feels like it I out of control almost in a way like I don't have control over what's going on or what I'm gonna have or what it's gonna be cooked I don't know it's like so silly I don't know it's not it's it's not it's it's it's something that you battle. It's something that you still battle. Yeah. But I can be right here because I'm with you every day to say you have made strides. Yeah. You have made.

When I first met you, I mean, she was, nope, chicken. Chicken, natural oil, carrots, morning, bar. Like, you were not going out to dinner. You were not eating the oil that wasn't from the seeds and plants. But it's, you have made such strides. You really have. And I think the beautiful thing about what you're going through is first of all, you're sitting, this is the first time by the way, and I'm so proud of you that you're sitting here confessing it and talking to all of us about it and just being so open and vulnerable because you've never really done that I've never even talked to you about it really she really hasn't

I will always defend it and I'll always joke but I've never actually sat to be like this is something that I sure you guys are really getting vulnerability, even I'm her best friend and you guys are getting the first of it. So I'm so proud of you. Thanks. I am just here to say that we don't as much as, as close as we are to Jesus, like we still don't have the answer to everything. And there are some things that unfortunately you will battle maybe for the rest of your life. It's an everyday thing. This is something that I have to, and I do, submit to God. Every day of my life we talk about it. Every day I have to submit it.

I think about when it comes to, like, disordered eating and stuff like that. When it comes to alcohol or drugs, it's like you'll only be triggered if you're around it. Like if you go to a party and there's drugs or you go to a bar and there's alcohol, when it comes to disordered eating, like you're triggered three to five times a day. Yeah, yeah. You know? Yeah.

It can be really, it is a battle and it's all the time and it's every day and I just, I don't, I did not know this was as tender as it is. I just, I just, because we all have different things, but they all feel the same. It all feels so uncontrollable sometimes. Um, and that's why I just, we're all in it together. We really are. And, um, can you give advice on what you have been doing? Because I don't know. I've been seeing miraculous changes with you. And I told you this the other night.

Is there anything? I know that you're, are you just bringing everything to God? Are you just laying it on his, by his feet and just saying, Lord, this is what I'm going through. This is what I'm battling, but I'm laying it on your feet. Can you help me? Can you give anyone advice? I know so many people are probably dealing with what you are. And so what do you do? What have you been doing to? I think just like you said, leaving it at the feet of Jesus, it's a daily submission, daily leaving it at the feet of Jesus. It's a daily submission, daily fight, daily prayer, daily talk.

Some days are better than others. Some weeks are better than, some months are better than others. You know what I mean? And it can be really discouraging when you feel like you've, it all comes down to like your mental state and what's going on in your life. When things feel chaotic in my life, I am much less relaxed in this area. When I'm good and everything is good and I feel like I've had it under control, I can be more relaxed. It's not as big of a deal. If I have a really chaotic, hectic day or something hard is happening in my family or something, you know what I mean? Like I see these things come up. So it's all an emotional thing. And I just, it's a daily prayer every single day.

If you read my journal, I write it every single day. And you have seen changes, right? Yeah, for sure. Oh my God. Well, and there's also the things like the more, we're going to talk a lot about authority today, but the more obedient that I am to God, the more submitted that I am in every area, especially in sin and in the areas that will bring spiritual warfare, the less hard it is on this area. When I'm not living right or with God or by the word of God, I am more vulnerable in these areas. These are my weaknesses. We have to be aware of our weaknesses. This is mine. You know what I mean? And so when I'm not right with God, this area gets attacked. So it's just the closer I am to him, the better

we do. But I also don't want to say, because you could be really close to Jesus and still have strongholds on your life. You could be really close to Jesus. So I don't want you to be discouraged being like I'm doing everything right, but I'm still dealing with this. I don't know exactly what the answer is, but I know that strongholds are a thing. I know that deliverance is real. And I know that at the same time you can be delivered from things. We have a genetic predisposition things are passed down things are in our biological makeup that is passed down from our parents

and their parents and i know that this is something that i've seen in generations before um but daily prayer and submission to god about it yeah yeah. Yeah. But I, we're all in it together and, um, I hope that makes you feel just less alone in that. Now onto you. Tell us about the time that you talked to squirrels. I don't want to talk. It's okay. You don't have to. Tell us, did you hear what she just said? can't say it again. Tell us about what you talked about. That was a part of my disassociation. What? Truly, sitting in a park, disassociated.

I was so isolated talking to squirrels. They were my friends. And by the way, I see all the little squirrel memes you guys send me. It's not okay. I get Elton John and I get squirrels. Now I'm getting chocolate milk bottles. What, what? Oh, man.

So we've hit a couple of them, right? We've hit OCD. We've hit anxiety. We've hit panic attacks. Would you speak to the people about the depression that doesn't let you get out of bed yeah no I mean you guys I share with you probably every every episode of that's why I kind of wanted to take the focus off of me today but you guys know what I went through and um I I just love what you say about how, unfortunately, sometimes things are in our bloodlines, right?

And, like, sometimes we have to work a little harder than others. I think that for me, in my case, I do with the overbearing thoughts that I have. I think about last year, what I went through. Um, I think about last year, what I went through, um, and then I, and, and also I love when you said, like, I called a counselor and I just, I love that you said that. I hope you guys heard that because sometimes people think of calling a counselor as weakness and it actually is wisdom. It's actually the greatest thing you can do. Unpacking everything since you were a child, because all those,

you know, you're septic to the enemy getting in your head and creating all kinds of horrible thoughts and leading you into a sinful, bad path. It also comes from when you were a child. And I mean, I think back to when I was a child and I was, you know, I, I, I, it's hard for me to get vulnerable here because I don't like to sit in the victim mentality and that's why I fight so hard. But I was told a lot of things and I'm sure you guys listening to were and are told a lot of things about yourself. I'm sure you too, that just aren't true. And you carry that into your adulthood and you believe it and you act upon it. I was told a lot of things like I was never going to make it. I'm not smart enough. Who are you?

Who do you think you are that you can go and do and do that? You're never going to do that. And you and words are so powerful. And they and that's why even with my children, you have to be so careful how you speak and the words you say. And that's why we are so big on speaking life into people and not death. And even like when you're out at a grocery store and maybe you don't like something that someone's doing, you just don't ever know what someone's going through. People are just like so hurt inside. And so that's why I'm so thankful that I have the power of Jesus that dwells inside of me now because life is so much easier. And I really do look and,

you know what it is? I realized this and it's that scripture of that Fassel, our pastor, was sharing with us. It was light has come into the world, but people love darkness instead of the light because of their evil deeds. And I think in my journey, when I found God, I was in such darkness, but I just kept chasing the light, chasing it, chasing it. And we both do that. And that's why we are in this place of obedience because we were so desperate for the light. We were in darkness for so many years. We just didn't know better, but we knew what the light was. And so we chased after it. And some people don't know better. They're still sitting in their sinful ways.

They're still, you know, conformed by the world. And so they're just they're sitting in darkness. And that creates a lot of depression. And that's where a lot of my depression and anxiety came from, because I was just dwelling in darkness. came from because I was just dwelling in darkness. Um, and so through my, my depression, I mean, the thing is, is that I have to fight a little harder than, than maybe, you know, someone who was raised in a family that they were taught faith and taught how to do things right. I, I wasn't taught about faith. So when I would get to, this is before I had Jesus a year ago. And when I, when I was in my bad place,

I was in a bad place. I mean, so, so, so dark. I mean, I felt like I was like almost sinking into my, my bed. I was, I remember like laying in my shower one day. That's why I just love the story of Mary Magdalene so much. When I heard that, honestly, which that was the first story that, that we read in the Bible. And when I read that story, I didn't want to stop reading the Bible because I related so much to her when I had read the demons in her mind, the thought, the overbearing evil thoughts that took over her mind and how she was just suffocated and just like in such torture. And Jesus came up to her and looked at her and said, you are mine. And I'm not kidding kidding you that is what he did for me

in that church that day and um but anyways yeah I just remember like laying in my shower in disassociation just like you're alive but you're dead and that's exactly what what I went through for almost a year. And I just remember like almost fighting to stay alive. And you know that pain when it is the emotional pain is so painful that it feels physical. And that's what happened to me. I was trying to fight, but this is before I had, I really had God. I had, I didn't have the word of God. And this is why we want to really preface today just, and we do it every episode, but how important the word is because before I had the word and I knew the truth, I let the

thing, the thing with me is that I create things in my mind like I have an imagination in my mind and it becomes true and I and then I let the the fake the thoughts that aren't true overbear my whole mind yeah and so it became physical and I'll never forget it I'll never forget the day. It was last October. I'm sitting there and all my girlfriends want to go out and, you know, the overbearing thoughts and the anxiety, but I was just trying so hard. I just wanted to be okay. I wanted to be with friends. And we go out and I'm sitting there and I'm like, I'm looking around and it wasn't, I just, I relate so much to what you went through. And I never dealt with disassociation and I'm sitting there and everyone's talking to me, but I couldn't hear. And I'm just sitting there and my eyes are

rolling back and I'm looking down and I'm like panicking. I thought I got drugged. I was like, am I drugged right now? What is happening? I almost couldn't even talk to myicking. I thought I got drugged. I was like, am I drugged right now? What is happening? I almost couldn't even talk to my friends. I was so disassociated. And they're looking at me, Ariel, are you okay? And the walls are caving in on me. And I like could barely walk. I get up, I fall to the ground. And I won't get too graphic what happened, but I got really physically sick, really physically sick. My girlfriends take me out. They had to hold me in a cab. I go back to the house. I look at them. I have sweat pouring down my face. They said, take me to the hospital. I couldn't even speak. Take me to the hospital. They carry me. They bring me to the ER. I'm hunched over. I was in

probably the worst pain I've ever been through in my whole life. I'm not kidding you. I'm in the ER for, I stay the night. They couldn't understand what was going on. They're doing all these tests for me. Their body's scanning my tests. The doctor comes in and he says, you had a nervous breakdown. And in that moment, I just, I sat there and I was like, enough is enough. I'm so broken. My mind is so broken that it's now become physical. And that's why it's so important.

What is the scripture? It's in Proverbs. Can I just get it? Yeah, of course. Proverbs 4 verse 23, be careful how you think your life is shaped by your thoughts. It is so true. I let the imagination and the thoughts that weren't real and my brokenness consume me so much that it became physical. And I was like, enough is enough. I am done. I have to take authority over this. I need help. I cannot, like, it's scary. Like, you have to be so careful.

That's why when you're in a depressive state, as hard as it is, and I give so many people grace, I know the feeling of depression, of you feel like you just can't get through it. I can't. I'm crippled. I can't. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. You got you. We there's so many things that we want to cover today. But man, when I met Angela and I started reading the word, that is when everything changed in my life. And I was at the point of I I was going under hard and, um, we'll, we'll talk about it today, but yeah, that, that, that was the moment. That was truly the

moment where I said, okay, now, now I'm scared. Now my emotional state being is becoming physical. I'm truly getting sick. I need to change my life now. And we can't do that without the power of Jesus. There is not a friend, not a parent, not a therapist that can heal you. Only Jesus can. And this is coming from a girl who had no idea who he was a year ago. So if I'm sitting here right now and I am my, if you guys understood what he did for my life in the matter of seven months, you know why? Because I had a surrendered heart and that's what he looks for.

He looks for a surrendered, willing, purified heart that will chase him. That won't stop. Not a, not a depressed, not a Not a depression, not overbearing thoughts, not mental illness, not any of that can keep you down. Because let me tell you, sometimes he's not going to heal you and sometimes he's not going to take it away, but he will never leave you. He will never abandon you and he will never forsaken you. And not one day did he ever abandon me or leave me. He didn't take it away. He didn't heal it overnight, but you know what he did? He broke me to build me.

And because I was suffering, it, it made me want to lean on him. It made me need him. It made me hunger for him. And that's why I was so, I have been hungry. I still am. I sit here every Tuesday. I'm so hungry. I'm so hungry to help you guys, because I know that you guys, we're just all fighting something and we're all struggling and it's hard and it's difficult, but let's all stay hungry and let's keep fighting for him. And let's never stop because he is right there. He is right there. And let me also just say one more thing. Prayer, prayer changes you.

Angela, you taught me all about prayer. You, you, I'll never forget it. Let's say it again because I think we said it in the testimony video. She healed me. She prayed on me. She, prayer, it changes your brain chemistry. That is medicine. Prayer is, if you don't think that laying on the feet before God and sitting there and

looking up to him and saying, God, I need your help. I can't do this on my own. And you lay out everything you need and you tell him what's going on in your struggles and your illness and your overbearing thoughts or your broken heart or whatever. He is right there. He is close to those crushing spirit and he will be there to help you and heal you in whatever way. Just stay close to him. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Jesus move, God move. I think the reason why we're so emotional today is because like we've struggled with our mental health and so many people that don't know Jesus that are just victim to all this, that just struggle like this.

When we had our baptism and just other like in-person things that we've, that's what really put a fire under us more than anything, because we saw girls and guys coming up to us and you can see the brokenness in their eyes and you can see that they're so desperate for hope and yeah they came to the event for us but they're not looking for us they're looking for Jesus they need Jesus and the enemy has taken away so much from the people that we love and I'm really mad about it and I really don't want to see anybody suffer ever again I know The difference that I'm seeing and people that like our family members, like I have a family member who, who suffers every day and I just keep trying to get them to fight. Can you get, just get up? Can you go, can, can you go to church? Can you sit there

with him? Can you spend some time with him? Can you open, read up the world word? And they don't, they're just, they're just, they're sitting there in despair. And that's the thing where we have to make a choice. We can either live in hope or we can live in despair. We have to make that choice. And as hard as it is, and as, you know, crippling as your anxiety and your mental illnesses, there is a way out. And that's through Jesus. And we have to fight through it and chase him because he is right there on the other end waiting to help us. And like I just said, he may not heal us overnight, but that doesn't mean that he isn't going to be there to get us through it and to be there. And we don't know why. Sometimes we go through brokenness, heartbreak, because

it's necessary for us to go through that. He's trying to build us. He's trying to build, even he'll break. He'll he, I know why he brought me through my brokenness because I would have never found him. He needed to get me down so bad so I could find him so I could build relationship with him. Yeah. Yeah. I, That is truly the beauty in being broken. And there is beauty in it is that you oftentimes, and I see it so much in my own life, how people will resist God for the longest time. They'll put so many different things in front of him, all these idols, all this money, fame, career, everything.

And then all of a sudden, when they are at the very end of themselves, they come crawling and they say, hey, I don't have anything else. What is this Jesus guy? I really need him. And it's not until life breaks you over its knee that you start crying out to God. And I'm sorry to say that brokenness to get you to salvation, to get you to eternal life in heaven with Jesus. I'm so sorry if you're, you've been through brokenness, but I'm happy that it happened. If it brought you to your knees in front of God, I'm so glad that it happened to you. And what a good father that he actually did that for you. For you. Yeah. We have to remember he's a good father. So,

and I, and I, and I used to be like, why are you doing this to God? Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus, for breaking me the way you did. Thank you, Jesus. Maybe we can talk about spiritual warfare a little bit and the tax tactics. What did I write? Maybe we can talk about spiritual warfare a little bit and the tactics. Taxes. We have to pay taxes.

No, Jesus paid it all. Sorry, that was a really bad joke. It didn't land. Oh, I'm sorry. It's okay. What did you say it again? It's okay. I'm fine. I won't quit my day job. We can talk about how the enemy uses strategy. He has studied us our whole lives. He looks for our weaknesses. Like he said, I have this OCD pre genetic predisposition to OCD obsessive thoughts. I can lean towards addiction. I can lean towards developing a bad habit. If I'm not careful about it, you can struggle a bit with

maybe abandonment issues or things to do with self-worth. And so the enemy will send you things that he knows will just knock at your self-worth a little bit, send a person to do something to that's going to knock that down, send me things in my path that will make me resort to a bad habit. So you have to be so, I want you guys to be aware of your weaknesses, look inwards and be so for real, so, so for real and honest with yourself about what your weaknesses are. Look at yourselves from an outside point of view and ask God to reveal that to you in which areas am I weak in and do I need more help and that I need more prayer about. Let's talk about this, the three things that God, that the enemy loves, deception, Let's talk about this, the three things that God, that the enemy loves, deception, distraction, and to get you to lose hope.

Yeah. Let's start off with deception. So I think about in Genesis chapter 3, verse 1, when the serpent, the enemy, Satan, came to deceive Eve and came to her with a lie, God told her the truth. God said, do not eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, or else you will be like God. You will know things, and it will open your eyes to things that you never should have seen. And let's also talk about the fact that if you ever wonder why is mental illness a thing, why do mental health, why does evil happen? It's because of this one moment in Genesis where the serpent deceived Eve, and she ate from the tree of knowledge of good

and evil and sin entered the world. It's the first time that anybody sinned against God. We were never supposed to experience these things. And I also want to emphasize the fact that it's not God's fault. And while I've experienced much turmoil in my life and I've experienced my own mental health battles, and I also have people that I love dearly that I have hit my knees for years and years praying to God, begging Him to heal these people, and it hasn't happened the way I want it to, it's still not God's fault, and I don't blame Him,

and I will never turn my back on God because of the bad things that happen. It's not His fault. He doesn't want this for us. He doesn't want it for our families. And it's simply just not His fault. He doesn't want this for us. He doesn't want it for our families. And it's simply just not his fault. Anyways, God tells the truth and Satan deceives you with a lie, deception. He gets into your head.

You'll know the truth about something, but Satan will plant a little seed of a lie. It'll get you to pay attention to it. All of a sudden you say, hmm, why did this come up in my head? Maybe it's true. All of a sudden you stay on hmm, why did this come up in my head? Maybe it's true. All of a sudden you stay on it too long. It becomes bigger and bigger and bigger. And any truth that was in your mind completely goes to nothing. And all you can focus on is this one lie. It's all lies. I know. Every mental health issue, everything, all of it is lies. What she just said is literally what I go through lies in my head. You can't do that.

You're unworthy. And that lie in my head will get so big. It will just be so overbearing. And guess what? All the lies that I dwelled about, that I was anxious about, that I was worried about all these years, guess what? None of them came true. Yeah. guess what? None of them came true. And maybe a couple of them that I was stressed about that did come true was the greatest blessing of my life. The greatest blessing of my life.

Let's go, Jesus. So anything, like, I'm not kidding you. For instance, I'll just share one thing. One thing I stressed for years about my career. You have no idea. It took up my mind. What am I going to do? I'm never going to be anything. No one wants me. Am I going to make it?

Am I going to have like, what am I going to do? It literally overpowered my life for so many years that I missed out on so much of my life. And guess what? God brought me to a bigger blessing that I could even fathom in my life, which is sitting right here helping you guys. Truly, never in my wildest dreams. And I look back and I say to myself, all of those days where I could have been enjoying my life, living in peace,

I sat there in worry and anxiety because I let the enemy get in my head instead of shutting it up and taking authority over it. Truly. Let's talk about authority. You guys need to understand as a believer, we're fighting a spiritual battle 24 hours a day, seven days a week. And I want you to be careful against the churches and the pastors and the preachers and the speakers and whatever that shy away from this area,

because we are literally not to be weird, not to be scary. We are in the end times. Life feels so intense. There's wars breaking out. We're seeing revelation play out right before our eyes because we are literally in the end times. Jesus is coming back. We are in dire, desperate times and it feels so intense because it is. We're praying as if our life depends on it because it does. There's a spiritual battle happening all the time, but we have something and it is called authority through Jesus. Authority through Jesus. The first thing I ever learned that freed me from mental health struggles, freed me from alcoholism is when my pastor Socrates, God bless that man,

told me you have authority over anxiety. Take authority against whatever you're going through. Take authority against this panic attack. The biblical definition of the word authority is understood and used to describe the power or ability to do something given by, conferred upon, or derived from God, a higher authority. It is the warrant, right, power, or ability to do something. We have rights and privileges from God through our relationship with Jesus Christ. As we said, the same spirit that raised God from the dead, that raised Jesus from the dead dwells within us. And that is resurrection power. That resurrection power that defeated sin and death and mental illness lives within us. One of the ways that we can take authority is by when you wake up, before you get on your phone on Instagram,

before you go on TikTok, before you think you're going to have this crazy day so you don't have time to do this and that. Oh, yes, you do. You sit down. You always make time for Jesus. You will see the difference of your day when you put on, like we talk about, the armor of God. You open up your Bible and you read it. That's the first thing you do in the morning. That is going to literally protect

you, protect you through your day, the Bible and prayer. It's literally your armor. It's your protector. I can't say it enough. It's saved my life. Boldness when you're praying. I think about policemen who are, they're authority, right? They're in a position of authority over us. Policemen don't come when they're arresting someone and say, Hi, can I please arrest you? Do you mind if I arrest you? If that's okay with you, can I arrest you? No, they say, I don't know what they say, but like you're under arrest or something.

Like that's how we speak to evil forces. That's how we speak to anxiety. We don't ask them, Hi, is it okay if you go away and maybe come back? No, I'm actually going to take authority against you right now through the power of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. You be God, like every, there is not one demon, not one anxiety, not one mental illness that can stand against the power of Jesus Christ. That is what I want you guys to understand today. It is so serious. And I didn't know, like for anyone new that's listening, I didn't know, like, for anyone new that's listening, I didn't know that these thoughts of like, you're not good enough.

You're not, you can't do that. Like these bad thoughts. I didn't know that that, that there was a, that there was an evil force. I didn't know that that wasn't from God. I truly didn't. I just didn't know. Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death, he might break the power of him who holds the power of death. That is the devil. Jesus, by dying, by the blood shed from Jesus Christ,

he broke the power of the devil who holds the power of death. Death is sin. Death is mental illness. All these things lead back to death. And Satan is the father of death. Jesus is the father of life. To live by the flesh is death. To live by the spirit is life and peace. Satan is under Jesus's feet. We're also under Jesus's feet. But by being under Jesus's feet, we receive the authority through Jesus. So we, by receiving the power through Jesus, we can also put Satan under our feet. Every demonic force in your life, every evil, everything that's in your mind is under the feet of Jesus. You can trample on it as well. I want to read really quickly in Luke 10, 17, when the 72 disciples returned. So basically Jesus had his 12 original disciples, right?

And then on top of that, they kept on obviously acquiring more and more and more. And there was a point in Luke chapter 10, when Jesus sent out 72 of his disciples, not even telling them to go do deliverances. They actually realized upon arriving in this situation, the authority that they had in Jesus. When the 72 disciples returned, they joyfully reported to him saying, Lord, even the demons obey us when we use your name. Yes, he told them. I saw Satan fall from heaven like lightning.

Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you. But don't rejoice because evil spirits obey you. Rejoice because your names are registered in heaven. In the King James version, it's described as behold, I give you power to tread on serpents and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy and nothing shall by any means hurt you. He gives us authority. Authority. Please understand the authority that you have through Jesus. You take authority. There's not one thing that goes on in your head. I really want to touch on the fact that authority, the level of authority in

which you can operate in really, and this is something that has been revealed to me recently, because as you guys know, my word is sacrifice, whatever. The level of obedience that I'm operating in under Jesus right now is something that I've never been at before. Thankfully, by the grace of God and because of the podcast and because of our relationship with Jesus, we are in this thing all day long, every day. And it has transformed my life. And I've been, I'm obedient to him in a way that I never have been before. The level of authority that I am reaching, I thought I had authority before. It's nothing compared to what I have now.

Because I'm being so obedient with God, I've laid down all the sin. I've laid down, I have laid down my life for him. There are still, trust me, not perfect, still areas I need to work on. I'm sure he'll continue to reveal to me things. But from what I've seen, I've never been at this level of obedience to God. The authority that I have in my prayers, I thought my prayers were strong before. I am seeing things happen right before my eyes. The authority that I have in my prayers, the authority that I have over my governing my own mind, governing my own thoughts. I've never experienced this before, but it's directly correlated to my level of obedience.

If you want more authority, be more obedient. You know, I absolutely love that you say that because when I think about when my mind got renewed, when I became healthy, when the depression diminished, when the thoughts subsided, the overbearing thoughts subsided. It's when I started really following Jesus because when we're sinning, when we're doing all these things, we're separated from him. I have never felt God's hand on me so much because for once in my life, I am being completely obedient. And what I thought was impossible, the things that I didn't think I could ever overcome

and actually do because I stayed obedient to him. Yeah. And he will take care of it. Anything that you don't think you can do that you're like, oh, I don't know if I can do that. Oh, he'll take care of you we hit a couple of the really common mental illnesses and I just really want to speak to the mental illnesses like I said earlier it's really hard to talk about things when you're currently still in them it's not as glamorous it's not as fun it's not as celebratory

when you are still in the thick of something especially when it's something that is a little bit more taboo than just depression and anxiety, which are, you know, a beast of their own. But there are much, a much broader scale of mental illnesses like bipolar disorder and schizophrenia and being in psychosis and dealing with some really, really scary mental illnesses that people would label as crazy, that people would shun you with. And I just, I want to speak to you in letting you know that Jesus loves you so much. And I hope that you are able to go get the help that you need. I hope that the Holy Spirit can empower you in a way

to go ask for help. I can't even tell you what my confession today, as light as it may seem, it was huge for me. There's nothing like confessing to somebody and bringing somebody in. And I know that God wanted me to do that today because I needed to bring it to the light. And I really pray in the name of Jesus that you go and ask for help. If you know that you're dealing with something, I ask that you go help get help by doctors and by psychologists and people, experts that know what they're talking about. And I hope that you bring it to Jesus and that Jesus is a healer and he can cure you and you're not alone. And unfortunately, unfortunately, so many people

are dealing with exactly what you're dealing with. It's more common than not these days. Today was such a heavy episode, and mental illness and mental health is such a touchy, sensitive subject. But we bring it all back to you have authority through the name of Jesus. You have the mind of Christ. Your mind is delicate, but it belongs to Jesus. And the enemy wants to attack your mind so badly because if he can get your mind, he can get everything. That's where the enemy operates. Like, yes, of course he operates in physical illnesses and injuries and all these things,

but he's not going to, his number one place to go to is your mind because that's where he can destroy you. That's where he will bring the most destruction. And so I want to read really quick. Mark chapter 16, 17 to 18 says, these miraculous signs will accompany those who believe, will accompany those who believe. They will cast out demons in my name. They will speak in new languages. They will be able to handle snakes with safety. And if they drink anything poisonous, it won't hurt them. They will be able to place their hands on the sick and they will be healed. These miraculous signs will accompany those who believe in the name of Jesus.

I'm inviting you today. I'm asking you. I'm pleading with you. We are in desperate times. People are suffering and you might be one of those people. I'm not saying that if you accept Jesus, your life is going to be perfect and you'll never struggle. We just spoke for two hours about how we are as close to Jesus probably as he can get. And we still struggle and we still battle every single day.

But what I do want to tell you is that there is a God. His name is Jesus. And he is with you. He's waiting for you to accept him so you can receive that authority. The resurrection power, the same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead can dwell within you if you receive Jesus right now, and you will be able to trample over scorpions and serpents and however that verse goes. I'm asking you. I'm pleading with you. It is miraculous. It's transformative. Your life will

change. Not only just, yes, you receive salvation and you can go to heaven, but you can have peace here on earth. You can have healing. You can have the spirit of God with you and in you and around you. So I'm going to invite you to say this prayer with me. Dear Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner and I ask for your forgiveness. I believe you died for my sins and rose from the dead. I turn from my sins and I invite you, Jesus, to come into my heart and in my life. I want to trust you and follow you as my Lord and Savior. I ask this in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen.

We love you so much, guys. And I just want to, it's like I can't even see after you pray. I just want to tell you guys, because I don't think we really got to get to it, but don't self-isolate. Yeah. Friendships and community are so important. Godly friendships. Fight for it. Look for it. Do what you got to do. If you got to go to church, you have to open yourself up and be vulnerable to meet people. Do it. The worst thing you can do when you are struggling and down and out is be alone.

But the battle belongs to God. It's not yours to fight. And he's bigger than any of your problems, any of your circumstance. He's bigger than any battle. Can we just talk about the fact that, yeah, let's talk about the fact that while this was a little like me today, Jesus is the Alpha, the Omega, the beginning, the end, the author and finisher, perfecter of our faith. There is like, feel empowered. I want you to have Holy Spirit

empowerment within you. You, there is nothing that you can't trample over. There's nothing that will take you down. Go and, and be bold and be confident and know who your God is. His name is Jesus. And he loves you so. That's right. You are going to overcome it. You're going to overcome it. I'm healed. I'm healed. I'm healed. Okay, and I just, I love you guys so much. We love you. We love you, and you're just not alone. You're not alone.

So find strength in that. We love you so much. We love you. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May he make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May he turn his face towards you and give you peace. Jesus said, peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. We love you so much. Thank you.