Girls Gone Bible - Break Ups & Soul Ties | Girls Gone Bible

Episode Date: October 6, 2023

happy friday our sweet little loves! todays episode is all things... break ups. how to get through break ups. what to do. what not to do. how to navigate heartbreak & break up anxiety. what God says about your break up. we tell personal stories about our past break ups in hopes that you can get some insight on how to manage your own situation. we then touch on soul ties (the term soul ties has created a bit of debate within the christian community) videos and prayers we recommend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfbe4wfx7nc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtDeSisnLdg&t=2559s we love you guys so much. Jesus loves you more -Ang & Ari if you’d like to support Girls Gone Bible 🙏🏻🕊️🤍 Paypal- https://www.paypal.me/girlsgonebibleinfo Venmo- https://www.venmo.com/u/girlsgonebible

The truth is that God did create sex to be preserved in the context of marriage. God isn't withholding good things from us. He actually created sex to be one of the most beautiful parts about life. It's actually so sacred that the enemy has perverted it so hard because he wants to destroy anything that God makes as sacred as sex. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and God. Hi, God. We don't need to start over. Hi, G. Hi, G. We love you guys. So if you notice, we're in a different spot today. We are on the couch. And if you guys remember our first two episodes, our testimony video and the first relationships episode was

on the couch, which by the way, we're never going back to. I don't want to go back. I don't want to. We are such babies. We didn't know what we were doing. You were good. I was acting like Princess Diana. Are you kidding me? I was so nervous so nervous no but i was like still trying so hard to please because i had the knowledge of scripture that i have now but i was like still trying so hard to please people and i didn't want people to think we're weird christians and now we're like bring it on we are weird christians um how are you are what's going on everything's good well everything How are you? What's going on? Everything's good. Well, everything's okay. We're all a work in progress. That's why I'm happy today that we get to sit and just chat and just be us. How are you? I'm really good actually honestly can I be honest we went on live a few weeks ago I don't know when it was and maybe I talked about on the podcast too but I had kind of expressed I had read a

journal entry about I was kind of like crying out to God being like I feel so far from you Jesus I don't feel you I I don't like what am I doing wrong why I just feel so far I have felt so I feel like I'm I've like been rebirthed in my faith I don't know why I honestly think it's the fasting it's helped a lot I feel that like really young love for Jesus you know when you first get in the faith and you're so obsessed with him like I feel that right now I feel on fire for God and I just I don't know I I tell me what you think about this the past few weeks I've had some things in my life and you've you and I have you and I have been through some things recently we gotta stop being

so vague on the podcast um I have gone through some things recently that could seemingly be a bad thing and just like my entire life that God has worked everything together for my good for his glory and I just want to encourage anybody who's watching that anything that seems like a bad thing could be actually a really good thing and even if it's not a good thing God can turn it into a great thing and that's just where I'm living right now. I keep having these moments where I like, I go like this and I think about Jesus. And I'm like, because I get so happy because I'm like, God, he works everything together. Yeah, I was going through something for a little bit where I couldn't be alone. Like I was sleeping at your house every night.

And the past couple of nights, I've really just wanted to be alone. The past couple of nights, I've been in this this this sense of peace and I really don't think there is anything quite better than being able to be by yourself with yourself and just God yeah and I don't know it's just been really nice. And I think if you really want to have the presence of God, because I, too, was feeling very distant from him, to really be with yourself and be with the word and just sit with him. I think it's a lot harder. I mean, it's really nice when you and I are together and we're able to just like sit together and pray and, and read the Bible together. But I don't think there is anything quite like when you're alone going through something and you really just sit with God. And it was just nice because I don't know, I've been really, really anxious and the past couple days. I mean, of

course, I have my moments, but I've just been like living in peace. I went to dinner last night by myself and I just sat there and it just, it felt really, really nice. And I just, it was the reminder of like, if you are alone or if you are in your waiting season, like this, it's an incredible opportunity because it's so crucial for you to really stand on your own and be able to be with yourself yeah you know and God sees it God sees that and I and it's like I kind of had a moment where I felt and being like good job bar you're with yourself good job this is what I wanted you know God oh that makes me so happy. I have, it's so weird. You and I go through a lot of the same things at the same time. And we actually, everything we go

through is actually at the same time. It's really pretty bizarre, really weird. And it's like two dummies trying to get each other through the moment when we can barely get ourselves through the moment. We imagine, well'll we'll tell another time but um yeah i i also had that recently where i was struggling to be alone and i think in life and especially like walking through your faith you need to be able to distinguish when is the time to surround yourself with people and when is the time to get yourself into a more isolated place where you can hear God and and know him and what he like wants from you um and I've been also spending a lot of alone time recently and I think that's also why I feel so close to God I don't have as many voices in my

head yeah distracting me yeah no it's true um but and you don't have anyone to sit there and dwell to. That's true. If it's one thing about me, it's that mixed OCD with going through things and the mind really plays tricks on you. And like it's so, for me, like it can get so overbearing, my thoughts, where I talk about this a lot. I ask the same question over and over again and self-blame and what if I did this right wrong or what if I did this right and yeah so that's why I think too is it's good to be alone because you you really have the opportunity to like give it to God and what I used to do is like I mean sometimes I still do it I'm not going to be a hypocrite but um I would literally just like drive my friends nuts and just be like but what if but what would you do you think what do you think and

it's something that if you are going through what I'm going what I have experienced the the obsessive compulsive that's really something that that you bring to God and work on because it it really can like keep you so held back and held back from the journey that God has for you yeah I like that you bring that up about how you can sometimes it's better to be alone so you don't have people almost to complain to in a way yeah because I think you have to find a healthy balance because you should, like, for example, we're both like on the extremes of that. Like you might, you're, but I think it's a really good thing that you have. You're really good at expressing yourself. You really are. You are like, you're vulnerable. You wear your heart on your sleeve and you're able to just like

get it out. And that's healthy. Like that's a good thing. You, my mom, I grew up with my mom would cry and then she would always tell me my whole life, like like that's a good thing you my mom I grew up with my mom would cry and then she would always tell me my whole life like crying is such a good thing because I cry I won't get sick because she gets it out you know she also told us that she she's so cute I swear I think about this all the time she's just like you cry you know it's gonna age you and every time I cry I'm like oh yeah one time Ari just needed a word she needed a word from God she needed a word that would get her out of the slump she's on the phone with my mom my mom tells her something something something giving her advice and she was like and

by the way you shouldn't cry over it because it's gonna age you tears gone pain gone she was fine that's all she needed yeah I think the the one great thing about you is that like you'll talk it out but then you will really bring it to God and you'll and you'll be like okay like I'm not gonna sit there and self-blame I'm I'm I literally I know my value I know my worth and I'm literally gonna let it go and I think and and that's a beautiful thing. I think too, you got to get a little delusional with it. I know. She always tells me that. Well, because this is, okay, this is the thing.

So by the way, today we're talking about breakups and soul ties. And we'll get into that in a second. But this is what I think. When you do go through a situation like a breakup, for example, you need to, there are two reasons why a relationship breaks uh it breaks up it's either god it was divine and god intervened and he didn't want that together or you might have messed something up or they messed it up you know what i mean you need to always take accountability and look at a situation for what it is and evaluate every single thing because even in the relationships that i've been

that ended and i'm the one that ended them or nothing bad happened or it was all good. I still can find things that I did wrong and I need to change. And then you fix it. Yeah. And I think a lot of people sit there being like, well, OK, I messed up. Like, did I miss out on opportunity? No, you didn't. I mean, I actually talked about this with my grandmother who was married for like 50 years. She met my guppa when they were 15. Wait, you're what? You're what? I call him guppa. Guppa? My grandfather. That is so cute. Is that a Boston thing? No, I made it up. I love that. Isn't that funny? But, you know, she would tell me, she'd be like, R.

She was like, do you know what we went through? Do you know how much I messed up in my life and how much he messed up? No, you can't mess up God's plan. But what he will do is he'll either separate you guys to have you guys work individually and bring you back together and if he doesn't it's not meant to be exactly so we have to have that faith in god and let him really like surrender all our broken pieces and let him take care of it which is the hardest thing to do so i give everyone grace yeah and what i meant about the delusion is like I will take accountability for whatever I did wrong and really but be genuine and honest with myself but then I'll also not sit there and

drive myself crazy about what I could have done better and I'll be like you know what if they if they said this was the reason and this was that, I'm going to believe them and I'm going to like combat the thoughts that want to drive me crazy to make me think otherwise that maybe it was this, maybe it was that, like that's what I mean about being delusional. I'm going to be like, you know what? That's it. That's fine. He's not for me. They're not for me. It's all good. Yeah. You know? Yeah. It's a beautiful gift to have, you know, it's hard and it takes work it takes work yeah so today we're gonna read a psalm we've never read a psalm on here before or maybe we have but not to like open up um i love psalms so much i think that if you can't read a whole chapter or you just don't have time or anything,

I think at least reading a psalm would be so good for you or a proverb. It really is. That's really what I started off with when I first started reading the Bible. I just, it was relatable. It was really easy to read. It touched my heart in ways I can't even. Yeah. Which one? Psalm 34. was relatable it was really easy to read it touched my heart in ways i can't even yeah what which one psalm 34

who are you in a hundred can you get it for me i can't move in these jeans why did i wear jeans you know we should have worn leggings i almost wore jeans i put these in the dryer for an hour and they're they're our best friends you really are you guys oh um oh oh oh before we do anything guys right now i am wearing our last piece of merch from the first collection it's right here so i'm 34 this is the last piece it's our jesus sweatshirt with in the cement color we only have a couple mediums and a couple larges and then we're done with this collection so if you guys want it go get it girls gone bible.com it doesn't have the makeup all over

the neck like angela's don't look at it where are we starting psalm Okay. So we are going to start with Psalm 34, the happiness of those who trust in God. I will bless the Lord at all times. His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make its boast in the Lord. The humble shall hear of it and be glad. Oh, magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt his name together. I sought the Lord and he heard me and delivered me from all my fears. They looked to him and were radiant and their faces were not ashamed. This poor man cried out and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps all around those who fear him

and delivers him. Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good. Blessed is the man who trusts in him. Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints. There is no want to those who fear him. The young lions lack and suffer hunger, but those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing. Come, you children, listen to me. I will teach you the fear of the Lord, who is the man who desires life and love many days, and he may see good. Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Depart from evil and do good. Seek peace and pursue it. The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their cry. The face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth. The righteous

cry out, and the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart and save such as have a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He guards all his bones, not one of them is broken. Evil shall slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous shall be condemned the lord redeems the soul of his servants and none of those who trust in him shall be condemned god i highlighted some things i just want to go back we said at um verse four i sought the lord and he heard me and delivered me from all my fears when you look for jesus when you cry out to Jesus, he will hear you. This is one of the best scriptures ever. The angel of the Lord encamps all around those who fear him

and delivers them. Whenever you're going through something, whenever you're in fear, whenever you feel in danger, call out to God and say, God, send me an army of angels to encamp around me, form a hedge of protection around me, to minister to me, to love me, and to protect me. Those who seek the I feel like because of when you go through a breakup, you can feel so much lack. Right. Yeah, yeah. And so much emptiness. And you just need to remember that those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing. you just need to remember that those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing.

And then this is basically verse 18 is kind of the reason we wanted to read Psalm 34 today. Instead of reading a story about heartbreak or breakups or divorce, we wanted to read something a bit more uplifting to show the true nature of God and who he is in these situations. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart yeah that's it's it is so true it is so true and i mean my story is based on um my broken heart yeah and my pain and um truly um he really is he really is with you in your broken heart. And sometimes, like they say, God will break your heart to save your soul. He really will break your heart to bring you to that pain to find Him.

And trust me, when somebody tells me they have a broken heart or if we're going through a broken heart. I truly don't think there's anything more just awful than that feeling. It is hands down for me the worst pain you could ever go through. I think that breakups, romantic breakups are arguably one of the most painful things that you can go through in life because and tell me what you think about this this is my reasoning because people might argue um i would think that like a family member with cancer or a child some a parent's child dying is so much worse yes a hundred percent but i think that because when a tragedy happens

outside of you it's like you feel grief and you feel pain and all these things. But it's almost like even if it's close to you, it's still outside. It's a tragedy that's happening and you deal with it. A breakup, you feel that grief, you feel that pain, and then you add your ego on top of it. And then it's just unbearable because then your ego starts saying all these things, and they're going to be with other people, and I have to see them with someone else, and it's just unbearable, like, it's the worst, it's, it's, it's really, I hate breakups, honestly, I have spent a lot of my 20s being, being, having extreme avoidant attachment style, simply for the

fact that I don't want to get into a relationship because I don't want to go through a breakup that's how much I hate breakups I'd rather not really but sometimes I think like I'd rather not experience love because I don't want to experience a breakup yeah a lot a lot of people are like that um yeah I mean it's Yeah, I mean, it's just, I don't even know. I truly would want to just hold everyone that is going through it. I mean, what's so hard about it is it's like they're still alive, so you're grieving someone that's still alive.

So that's why I think it can just be so much harder than when you actually do lose someone to a death. Yeah, so true. Yeah, because, again, it's, it's, I think, what do you, from on, I don't know, the hardest part of a breakup is truly that ego hurt of the idea of them being with someone else, of them loving somebody else, of you having to see being with someone else of them loving somebody else of you having to see them with somebody else I mean there we got we have never gotten more questions about a topic ever I mean people really struggling yeah I mean breakups are universal all of us have experienced it all of us will experience it and people are sitting there being like what do I do when we break up and somebody I have to

like see them at work you know what I saw those two yeah I can't even imagine like we go to school together I mean it's it's really it's rough or if you still love them and you lose them I mean it's like and then you're forced to move on yeah you know that's hard too I mean it's just that's why but when you you really here's the thing that I've learned through through my breakup God has never let me down when I when I he oh when you connect when you look back when you look at your life how he connects all the dots in your life it's like okay well that's why this happened and that's why I couldn't be with this person and that's why like healing is just it's not easy it's just but you have to just day by day by day it's a process healing healing is a

process it is a process and it's not linear. And a lot of people wrote in being like, I feel like I'll be good one day and I won't be the next day. And I just want to tell anybody who feels that way, that's normal. That's completely normal. It's not linear. You're going to feel like you're taking steps backwards. I know for me, like going through a breakup, the nights and the mornings are the worst. I'll wake up from my sleep, and there's, I think, like a moment upon waking up where you aren't fully like in this world yet, and so you're not completely aware of what's happened, especially if it's really fresh, and you might even feel like you're still with this person,

and that like anxiety, that's the worst part for me about a breakup is the anxiety yeah breakup anxiety is the worst I hate it you're on you're in survival mode the not eating the the yeah the the pain the excruciating pain you feel in the mornings yeah I remember holiness at night I remember laying in the shower. I truly was, like, dead. Like, I can remember it like it was yesterday, the pain, the way I felt, the not eating. And I'm laying there because I had truly nothing left in me. And the water is beating down on my head. And I'm just, like, laying there being like, what do I do like save me I I truly I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel yeah what am I gonna do I am in so much pain it feels so physical

I actually remember googling can you die from a broken heart because it was so painful I just didn't think I was going to come out of it yeah yeah um little did I know that it was so necessary that that I had to go through it and if you know anything about us is that we love to have our nails done and it has made our life so convenient ever since we found Olive and June. Olive and June. Thank you for Olive and June. Right now, I have frosted, painted. I just love a white.

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I never wear press-ons. Yeah. But they are so convenient and they stay and they look so natural. I love natural nails. You get everything you need for salon qualities in a manicure box. You'll customize your box with your choice of six polishes. Usually when I get nail polishes, the nail polish chips and you guys it does not chip it literally lasts for over a week so you know how expensive getting your nails done is these this polish comes down to about $2 every manicure you know what I love I love the cuticle serum it's my favorite have you tried it I have I have and I always have

issues with dry cuticles so I love it so much that That was personal, but I do. I also love the acetone-free polish remover pot. Yeah, I was spending like $200 every two weeks on this salon. It's so bad. It's so much cheaper with Olive and June. I love it, and it looks just as good, if not better, honestly. I think it looks better. I know. People compliment my nails all the time with Olive and June. Yeah, yeah. All right, guys, visit OliveandJune.com slash GGB for 20% off your first Olive and June system. That was O-L-I-V-E-A-N-D-J-U-N-E dot com slash GGB for 20% off your first Olive and June system. It was weird because I fought with God a lot. Yeah. I was really, really angry at him I was like are you doing this to

why are you doing this to me why would you take away something that I love so much why are you and and I felt like and it wasn't just even my broken heart it was like one thing after another after another and and I really feel like he brought me to such, my life was like in such shambles because he wanted me to see the goodness of him. A hundred percent. But I mean, I have so many points about like how to get over a breakup, what to do, what not to do. I think first let's talk about the fact that the pain that you feel over a breakup, what to do, what not to do. I think first, let's talk about the fact that

the pain that you feel from a breakup, especially if it's a breakup that you didn't want, there comes a time, I think it's not until you go through it yourself that you will be able to know for future experiences that God literally never gets it wrong and that I know we've said it all the time but God will never take something from you that's meant to be yours it's just not going to happen it can't happen what God has for you is for you and it says in the Bible that any door that God opens, no man can shut it. And any door that he closes, no man can open it. And that's facts. That's true. And so I know that's hard. And I understand what it's like to have a wrestle with God. I've wrestled with him and I've wrestled with him and I've asked him why and I've asked all the questions and I've even doubted him and I've even been mad at him. But

time and time again, he has always revealed to me because I've chosen to see it and that's the thing about it because a lot of people and this is the truth you have to have a bit of maturity and and like spiritual growth to understand that you you have to choose to see the good in whatever's happening and you have to choose to believe God that he does have a plan for you because I know for me even when I don't agree with God and even if I have that doubt it's okay that doubt can be there just let it be there I'm sitting there and I'm like you know what you are so your thoughts are higher your ways are higher so you have to understand that he knows what he's doing and

trust in that yeah I when I was when I was going on my journey with God um through my breakup I he was rapidly changing my life I would be praying to him like please answer this and he was very silent for a long time yeah um and we have to understand when God isn't answering our prayers, it's either a no, or I'm not finished with your story yet. And we have to understand that it's not, it's not that he's not there. It's just, we don't know what he's doing behind the scenes. And so, and I really think that it's all in the details of everything. Like, it's just so funny when I look at this past year because I was praying every day, like, please answer this, please answer this.

He wasn't answering. He wasn't bringing back what I wanted or answering in the exact way. But what he did do for me was he brought me you, first of all. And you know what the beautiful thing about a broken heart is, is it brings you to this place of such vulnerability.

I was someone who I always kind of acted perfect on the Internet. I wanted to be a little bit of a mystery and not really show my life because it really wasn't anyone's business. But then again, I wanted to build a platform that helped so many girls and men but and so I think God had to really well number one God had to bring me to such a place of brokenness to then be like okay my friends can't help me my parents can't help me my therapist can't help me the only one that can help you is him so it when I was down so bad in the brokenness that is when I I was like I I ran to God and that's when I found him which is it's it's so beautiful when I think about my whole story this past year the one thing that God wants us to do he he wants us to to really

rely on him and to to be patient i was someone who wasn't patient i was a control freak what well why is this why isn't this happening for me now god really wanted me to to be like he i could hear him saying to me like it is not your time yet it's not on our time it really is on his time so if he's not on our time. It really is on his time. So if he's taking someone away from you that you love so much, he's not trying to hurt you. He's such a compassionate God. He's never doing anything out of a place of wanting to hurt us. He's doing it for our greater good. So we have to understand that and we have to just sit in that and day by day be like and and the one thing that I kept doing was um I kept complaining this year yeah um this is me being

completely completely vulnerable and honest I um I kept asking why and I'm watching what he was doing in my life, but I kept asking why, and I kept dwelling, and I kept just sitting in sadness, and what that's going to do is it's just going to, it's going to prolong the journey that God has for you, and the path that he has for you, and so you and I were talking about this the other day about gratitude and it's so hard to sit in gratitude and and praise God when your heart is is in pieces but we just the one thing I really had to learn this year is surrender and give all our broken pieces to God like every single piece we give it to God and when we have those moments of of anxiousness you say I broken pieces to God. Like every single piece, we give it to God. And when we have those moments of anxiousness, you say, I give it to God. I had a moment the other day where

I was like, God, I'm in some pain. I'm feeling far from you. My heart's feeling a little bit broken. I pray for some kind of side. He was silent, and then I went to sleep in some pain, but as I was waking up, I was actually at your house, I kept saying in my head, I was still sleeping, but I kept saying in my head, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding. It kept replaying in my head over and over. It was such a godly moment. I woke up in tears just,

and I told Angela, I said, you'll never believe what happened to me. That's happened to me so many times where I say scripture in my head while I'm sleeping. Yeah. So it's just really, I mean, when I started reading scripture and I started to really know that there was a God know that there was a father that that was right beside us only that only wants the best for us um that's when I I started to really surrender and really trust it it's clearly not what you want from me I don't know why but you do I I can't see behind the scenes but you can and and just know that when he's silent in the breakup and he's not answering your questions he truly is orchestrating something such a he has such a beautiful journey

for you he really really does um yeah wow let's give it up for Ari Shmari. That was incredible. I love hearing about your journey because I've been able to see firsthand some of the things that you've walked through and you are so honest and it's my favorite thing about you. And you're so accountable and you really like, you are like a dream for God because you see everything that you do that you, you feel you need to change. Like you said about how the complaining, right? I feel like complaining is a little bit of a harsh word to use. But I think it's important that we touch on it because, again, like I said earlier, yes, you have to express yourself.

That's where we're getting at. You have to express yourself and you need to talk and you need to like talk to people about what you're going through but at the same time you need a healthy balance of not complaining and not speaking death over it so much because you're feeding it yeah like those obsessive thoughts and those uh thoughts of um like rejection and unworthiness and why did this person leave or why did they do this or that or why wasn't I good enough like yes you should get those thoughts out to a certain extent but you can't sit there and feed them over and over and over again because you're doing damage yeah because although God has a plan for each and every one of us the words we speak really do really are the the house we live in or that you know it will manifest and and it

did for me i when when you speak negative it's it's really is going to prolong yeah you're gonna what god has for you you're gonna stay in that spot and i think too you know pastor erwin made a great point when he was on and he said something along the lines of um christians we have a misconception that if you're a christian your life is going to be perfect it's not just because you when he was on and he said something along the lines of, um, Christians, we have a misconception that if you're a Christian, your life is going to be perfect. It's not just because you believe in Jesus doesn't mean you're not, you're never going to have heartbreak. You are. And in fact, you might have it even more because when God wants you to move and you don't move, he's going to force you to move. And that's happened to me multiple times in my life. And you and I had a conversation recently where we were saying how I said, sometimes, okay, I'm going to be really honest with people. You may have gone through a breakup, right? And there's the argument of like, was it my fault or this person's fault? Or did God do it for us? Or is this what God really wanted?

God do it for us? Or is this what God really wanted? If there are some situations where somebody may have left you and you may have all these feelings of rejection and all these feelings of unworthiness because this person left you and you feel like you weren't good enough. When in reality, what it was is that God didn't want you with this person and he wanted you to move and you weren't going and he was giving you sign after sign and you were asking for signs and you were speaking it out loud saying this person's not for me he's not for me because you felt it you knew and since you weren't strong enough to make the decision God had to make it for you and he orchestrated it and you are now in a situation where you feel left you feel, but really God wanted you out of the situation. It's you he

wanted out, you know what I mean? And so it's just like, I really think it's important that we listen to those little things from God. We had a question that was like, what is the difference between your gut and anxiety? And I think that, so I believe that your gut is like the Holy Spirit, your intuition is the Holy Spirit. I believe, you know, that that's who speaks to me and gives me those little messages. And then I believe that the Holy Spirit will speak to you in peace. He will speak to you with confirmation. He will speak to you with a deep knowing and understanding of what is right.

Not saying that it's not hard or painful, but you'll know. You have a knowing. Anxiety comes with confusion and comes with scared fear and like being paralyzed and not knowing what to do. But when you're getting those little messages, this person's not for me. I'm not going to be happy here. This isn't what God wants for me. You have to listen to those. That's the Holy Spirit speaking to you. And if you don't,'t he's gonna come do it for you and it's gonna be worse like that you really have to have a deep understanding of of of your of yourself and your identity to really understand your value value and to um and to to know what's what's good for you because when you really know your value and you really know who you are and you know who God is, you can then make better decisions.

And then you can make, and then you can understand like, is this my anxiety or is this a gut feeling? Is this something I should be in? And I was always like looking for some kind of void. I always I always I seeked love like my, you know, I always I talk about this a lot. My dad was always working. And so my my boyfriends became my family. And so that that then became my identity and my life. And when you when you are only seeking love,'re you're going to be very empty it's just

a void um and so it's I'm just really it's crucial like spend as and it's hard don't do you agree it is probably we all want love we all want we all want to feel loved and have that rush and to have a partner. I mean, isn't that the goal for everyone? But if you can spend time alone, real time, you will feel so free that you won't have that anxiousness when you're in a relationship. It's just going to be someone who's going to make you better. That is probably the biggest thing I learned this year godly relationships aren't two people who complete each other they're two complete people who add to the other one's life yeah only Jesus seriously can can fill that empty void in your life I I'm I I love love I love to love I I I just love it but I always had

this sense of emptiness within my heart and it truly is because I put men before God I didn't really know God he was always trying to find me but again like I said that's why he broke my heart so bad out of compassion to to say I'm right here I'm waiting for you I want to help you I want to bring you to your your greatest destiny I want to change your life but you need me first so come to me and I will help you I will make you the best version of yourself but first first, I need it to just be me and you for a little bit and no one else, no other men, because they're not going to fill that that that void that you've been feeling your whole life. Whenever you're dwelling or you're worried, I always look at you and I'm like, I'm not worried about you at all. You are so God has you like this

in his hand. He loves you so much. you walk in the path that God has set out for you more than anybody that I know and it's so hard and it's not easy in your industry and where you're at in LA and all the things it's not easy and you are so obedient especially recently the past few months you're doing everything right yeah there's no way in heaven that he is not taking care of you and giving you everything you exceedingly and abundantly more than you could ever ask think or imagine yeah and don't you look at your don't you look at your life like wow this didn't work out because i truly wouldn't be right here right now i don't i have i've said it before, I'll say it again, an unshakable faith in God because I have seen time and time again over and over the same story in my life that something looks bad and it

ends up being good. And if it's bad, he uses it for my good. Every single time, every heartbreak I've ever experienced and my major heartbreak and big testimony wasn't heartbreak from a guy, from a relationship. It was from being in a dark place, kind of at my own, it was my own fault and being involved in things I shouldn't have and drinking and whatever. But like he, the worst things that have ever happened to me are the best things that have ever happened to me and because I have that knowledge I know this is what I want to say every time that I go through a breakup now now I don't want this to sound like sociopathic okay it's not that I enjoy pain and it's not that I enjoy that bad things happen although when I do go through a breakup especially while I'm in pain and I have anxiety and I have all the bad things on the same coin I have almost like a joy because I know that this situation this

breakup this heartbreak is about to propel me into God's arms like every single time me and God come together so hard that I'm just like you know what it's worth going through this pain yeah and and and he has to like you would you say earlier it was so good you were like he breaks he breaks your heart to save your soul because you need you need you need these hard times to grow it's character development yeah it is it is and we get so complacent in relationships oh yeah and then when he like breaks our heart we're we're we're starving for something we're starving for our father we're starving for him yeah you know um i know it's it's you're so right in the sense that you say like i know he's about to propel me it's so true and i and and we need to start we need to start saying like okay this broken heart this isn't

going to destroy me this isn't for for for for god to hurt me or for because because they're going to go find someone better this This is for my greater good. Get excited. This is about to, God's about to move me to do something in my life. You guys, you have no idea. Had I went through this pain in my life, it would have never propelled me to run to God, to find him, to then find myself, to then find my people,

to then find my purpose. Yeah. Truly. Yeah. Truly. You need it. I'm telling you the most beautiful stories and testimonies are birthed out of heartbreak. It's necessary for your life and it's actually a really good thing. And I encourage you to look at it that way. I know it's weird. I know it's weird to go through something really negative and be like, I'm you to look at it that way. I know it's weird. I know it's weird to go through something really negative and be like, I'm going to look at this as a positive thing. But it is. It is. I've seen it in my life and I've seen it in everybody else's life.

There's purpose in your pain. You're growing. You need these moments. It's so, it's so rich what's happening to you in this heartbreak. If you're going through a breakup you go chase Jesus yeah that's that's the best thing you could possibly do and and that's the only way to save yourself from pain and from experiencing more suffering than you need to um so what what what what not to do the first thing that comes to my mind is the and this is the

hardest one that you can do but if you can seriously cut off it's so hard now with social media that is what makes breakups so gruesome and and just awful because you can literally see everything. You can see who they follow. You can then see who, then you can put the pieces together, who they're hooked, whatever it is. Yeah. If you can cut it off. No contact.

I always think about how back in the day before there was social media, if you broke up with somebody, there was a good chance you might never even see them again. it must have been so easy to get over people now you see them all over the internet and you have to have such a profound amount of discipline and self-control to not look my number one rule is that after a breakup i don't look and you know why I don't look? Because I've gone through a breakup that I looked. I looked. I had the fake. My friend had a fake.

I would go. I'd look at the following list, see who they're following. Did they follow him back? What are they doing? Where are they at? Oh, he's in the same place that this girl he followed last week is. That means they're together. I mean, it is recipe to drive yourself absolutely mad.

The truth is when someone, because that's the hardest part of a breakup, right? Is like when they're going to be with somebody else. I think a couple of things. When you go through a breakup and you're like really distraught over this person. And if the person feels the same about you and whatever, just because they look like they're having a good life on instagram you don't know what's going on because you probably look like you're having a good life too so you just have to put into perspective that you're by looking you're seeing something that's not even real and you're torturing yourself and just because they followed a girl literally might

not even mean anything but we're creating these stories in our head and it's absolutely it'll drive you nuts I think too a big thing because a lot of people wrote in saying that they what do you do when you feel like you're still meant to be with this person what do you do when you're not ready to let go I have one thing from you that I know God it's in scripture that God does not want you looking at the past. He wants you looking forward to what he has for you in the future. He gives a future and a hope and you looking back and constantly dwelling on the past and the past situation and your ex and wishing you could get back together. I feel like is almost like blasphemous against God because you're not trusting in the future that he promises you.

Yeah. That he has good things for you. And so to sit there and doubt God so hard, I really think it's hurtful to God and it's bad for you. When you are going through a breakup, there's one thing you have to do. And I hope this doesn't sound insensitive, but you have to move on. You have to choose to move on. There is no wishing you're with someone. When you break up with someone or they break up with you, you have to immediately move on as if you're never getting back together. And whether you do or not

is up to God. And it might happen, but you must move on and you must not hold on to hope. You can't hold on to bitterness. You can't hold on to anger. You move on. Yeah, not hold on to hope you can't hold on to bitterness you can't hold on to anger you move on yeah the worst thing you can ever do is be is be bound in chains and sit there thinking that someone is just going to come back and waiting and and not taking that time to seriously grow and grow your relationship with God so he can do the works in your heart and in your mind to make you the best version of yourself and um I went through a breakup a few years ago where I broke up with this person and I wasn't necessarily completely ready for it to end although I knew it was the best thing um I in my heart

hoped that this person would reach out right I did I did I everybody does even if you don't like the person you probably hope they reach out to you one day I did I hope they reach out but as soon as we broke up I immediately had an understanding and a peace that this person would never reach out to me I just said it to this person would never reach out to me. I just said it to myself. They're never reaching out. And thank God I did that because they did it. But you know what I mean? I chose to have that perspective. I'm not going to sit there and wait. Do you think they will? I hope they do. Do you think they will? It's just like, for what? You can't hold on like that. Yeah. And it says in the Bible for women,

if somebody does walk away from you, I think this is another thing that you don't do. If somebody decides to walk away from you, I think you really do like just focus on yourself and not run and beg and ask for them back. It says in the Bible that men should pursue us. that men should pursue us and so chasing after a man that decided to walk away I think hold you have more value than that you you need to value yourself more than that absolutely truly let a man lead you yeah you do you let the man lead you so yeah a hard part um about breakups a lot of the time and this is something that you kind of have to accept, is even if a relationship ends completely peacefully and amicably, there's usually always a villain in the story. And that's also another part of breakups that you have to accept.

You most likely will be the villain in somebody else's story. I know I've been in relationships that I was a genuine, I've been in relationships that I was a genuine, I've been in relationships where I was not an angel. A hundred percent I have. I take accountability. I know this, but I've also been in relationship, relationships where I, there's not one thing I could have done better. And I still somehow ended up being a villain in this person's story. It's just how it is. Yeah. And sitting there and like being like, oh, but this, but that, trying to control the narrative and what these people think about you and what other people think. You know what to do. You sit back and you let God vindicate you.

You let him be your defender and have him clear your name. It's not your problem to sit there and try so hard to control the narrative of what's happening. Yeah. Yeah. No, I know. of what's happening. Yeah. Yeah. No, I know. Honestly, guys, I mean, we can sit there and blame ourselves and say, what could I have done different? Or what if, if I did this, would it, would we have still been together? Every God has a plan. John 13 verse seven, you do not understand now what I'm doing, but later you will like truly later you will understand why this all happened

you will and so let it hurt and and and take every day day by day with God with your healing and and he will connect the dots to your life he will send you angels he will bring the right people into your life to get you through whatever you're going through. And he is doing this for a reason. And when you can rest in that and rest knowing that he took this person away to do the works in your life, to bring you to, I don't know if it's back to that person or to something better or whatever it is, but he's doing it for a bigger purpose and for a reason. I think too, God wants so badly. He wants to be our comforter.

He wants to be the one who brings you peace and brings you joy. So in those moments, running to somebody else, and we're all guilty of it, or at least, you know, talking to somebody else or getting attention from somewhere else, God wants nothing more for you to leave a relationship or a situation and then just go be alone. It's so beautiful. It's the only way to fully heal. I really encourage it because sitting there and going to somebody else immediately only does more damage than it does good. And that's the absolute truth. Yeah, you don't need it. It's okay to feel pain. It really is. And the sooner you accept that you will feel pain, the happier you'll be.

I think another thing that we should touch on is because, yes, we should believe that God has a better plan for us and that person wasn't for us and blah, blah, blah and all that good stuff. And it feels good to be on that side of it, to be on the side of like, well, God knew they weren't for me and he wants something better for me. Absolutely. But there are situations in which that we could have done better and we could have done more. And we, we have to take responsibility for the part we play in our own suffering and for the part we play in a downfall of a relationship. We all have faults. We've all done things. And even if somebody else did

worse or more than you in a relationship, I encourage you to take accountability and to really reflect on what you did and could have done better. There's a healthy way to take accountability. You don't have to torture yourself to acknowledge the things you've done wrong. Here's another thing that I am a a big advocate in if you do wrong take down the ego and apologize and a lot of people don't like to do that yeah they don't like to come forth and say hey you know what I'm I'm really they rather just mask the pain and get over it and instead of being like you know what you are a big part of my life I'm really sorry and I apologize do you know how much that frees you yeah and and I used to be someone who

had such an ego that I'd be like no I don't whatever the best thing you can ever do is take accountability take accountability let's get into something a little bit uh before we go because we've been going for a little bit we want to talk about soul ties and soul ties are a bit of a debate within the christian community because people say that soul ties aren't biblical and while the bible doesn't explicitly reference soul tie by that name i do believe that soul ties are an actual thing. I don't think that it's like a new age thing term that's come out. Like I do believe like, and if you don't like the term soul ties, I would refer to it as like spiritual ties. There is scripture that supports this. The Bible, really quickly, let me just say that. So a soul tie is a strong spiritual and emotional connection that you have with someone after being intimate with them or you don't even have to be intimate with

them and you can have the same type of soul tie I want to read the scripture that supports this so the bible warns against entering ungodly relationships he says my son if sinners entice you do not give in to them do not go along with them do not set foot on their paths proverbs 1 10 and 15 and then in first corinthians 6 16 it says do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body for it is said the two will become one flesh um so between there they also talk about in scripture about like knitting of souls like two souls becoming one by knitting together between jonathan and david in first samuel 18 one it says now when he had finished speaking to Saul the soul of Jonathan

was knit to the soul of David and Jonathan loved him as his own soul but the godly soul tie there's only one godly soul tie two one we're soul tied with God our spirits are tied with his and then the other godly positive good soul tie is in marriage yeah therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh god uses intimacy in marriage to serve god as one now we're going to touch on something that's a little bit whatever but we talk about everything on girls gone bible the truth is that god did create sex to be preserved in the context of marriage. That is the truth. Whether people like it or not, whether we want to agree with it or not, that's what it is. God isn't withholding good things from us. He actually created sex to be one of the most

beautiful parts about life. It's actually so sacred that the enemy has perverted it so hard because he wants to destroy anything that God makes as sacred as yeah yeah you know and God doesn't withhold it to be mean to us he he tells us not to he to abstain because it leads to death it leads to demonic oppression it leads to demonic soul ties and every time that you are intimate with somebody your soul binds with theirs whether you want to accept it or not and it's really really freaky and I would describe it almost as being and this is a part of Christianity that a lot of people shy away from because it's it's too spiritual for some people but I really believe that denying the spirituality in Christianity is truly denying Jesus because if God raised if God's spirit raised Jesus from the

dead how much more spiritual do you want to get like we live in a spiritual world we're spiritual beings and this stuff is real I believe that when you're intimate with somebody it's like a USB stick going into a like whatever they got in them is about to come on to you demon wise it's it's like a usb stick going into a kid like whatever they got in them is about to come on to you demon wise it's so true yeah it's so true and i believe that's why so many people are so are so lost with like all these young girls that are young guys that are hooking up with this one and hooking up with the have you ever felt that where you're like so depressed and depleted and you don't know why? It's because you're literally, it's like a soul tie.

You're giving your body to someone and that becomes... You're becoming one with them. You are doing the most sacred act. We live in a society, and I'm so passionate about this, because we live in a society that is so pro-sex and pro-hookup culture. And I don't care if people think we're the most annoying people ever. It's wrong. It's wrong.

Sex is the most beautiful, sacred thing that God has created. And we are just giving it up. We're glorifying it. We're giving it up like it's nothing. We're glorifying hookup culture to have friends with benefits that you can go do the most sacred act with somebody who literally doesn't care about you it's okay to hook up it's okay yeah my my you know what my my life it's like no actually it's really sacred i mean today's episode isn't about sex maybe we

will have one one day but like anyways my point is soul ties are are the result of having a soul tie with somebody is is obsession it's like a very um it's obsession it's obsession it's um attachment it's being tied to somebody it's making an idol out of them it's being dependent on them and it's really bad and i encourage you to break these soul ties we'll put some videos in the description some guided prayers that i would encourage you to say. You want to break these soul ties, but you don't even have to have sex with someone to have a soul tie. You can develop an ungodly soul tie just by having a dependence on someone, an obsession with someone. Soul ties are often bred in abuse.

Well, I think that's it for today. Guys, we might have to do a part two of breakups. I honestly think we should. We have so much more to talk about. Yeah, and we didn't answer any questions. We didn't answer. We'll do a part two. We can do a part two.

There's so many people going through pain and suffering and feeling alone and feeling like this is the end and feeling like I'm never going to find my person and I'm not good enough. Well, we're here to tell you, yes, you are. Jesus loves you so much. And he's with you and he will get you through this. And he is bringing you through this for a reason for the greater of your good. And he will, um, he's got you. He's got you. If I could say anything to close, I would would say this is how you need to pray you need to pray and ask jesus to plead the blood of jesus all over you your situation the other person and whatever soul tie that you have with them ask jesus to enter into

the gap between you and this person and to heal it to redeem it to restore it and bring it back to life whatever's dead is being brought back to life in j' name in your life. In Jesus' name, yeah. We love you guys. We love you. God bless you. Love you. Love you. Love you guys so much.