Girls Gone Bible - Dating | Girls Gone Bible

Episode Date: July 10, 2026

hi GGB:) Today's episode is all about dating... ❤️ We prayed this conversation would encourage you, challenge you, and remind you that God's timing is always worth trusting. We love you so much. Jesus loves you more.  ORDER OUR BOOK! You can order our new book "Out of the Wilderness- 31 Devotions to Walk with God Through Your Hardest Seasons" at https://www.girlsgonebible.com/book JOIN US ON GGB+ 🥹❤ https://ggb.supportingcast.fm COME SEE US ON TOUR: Tickets for our tour are now on sale. Go to https://www.GirlsGoneBible.com/tour Thanks to our sponsors! FIRST DAY Our listeners get up to 57% Off AND a Free Gift with code GGB at https://www.FirstDay.com NOCD https://www.NOCD.com GLORIFY https://www.glorify-app.com/ggb GRAND CANYON UNIVERSITY https://www.GCU.edu Find your purpose at GCU.  LAUNDRY SAUCE https://www.laundrysauce.com use code BIBLE

Have you ever been in a relationship and kept having unwanted doubts like, do I love them enough? Am I really happy? What if God has someone better for me? And those questions felt impossible to ignore? And suddenly you're repeatedly praying for certainty or signs, constantly comparing your relationship to others, asking friends what they think over and over, but you can't find peace no matter what you try. Unwanted relationship doubts can feel so real and scary, but here's what's important to know. Thoughts like these can be a sign of relationship OCD.

Unlike the stereotypes about being organized, real OCD is a serious condition that can latch onto anything we care about. Relationship OCD creates this never-ending loop of doubt and anxiety, followed by behaviors you do to try to feel better, but the relief never lasts. But OCD doesn't have to take over your relationships because it's highly treatable with a type of specialized therapy called exposure and response prevention or ERP. And that's why we want to tell you about no CD. NoCD is the world's leading OCD treatment provider and all of their licensed therapists specialize in ERP.

Therapy with NoCD is 100% virtual covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans and includes support between sessions. Their therapists are extensively trained, deeply understanding, and ready to help you reclaim your relationships. If any of this sounds like you or someone you care about, visit NoCD.com and book a free 15-minute call to learn more about how NoCD can help. That's nocd.com. Thank you for this minute. Okay, guys, I'm just going to... Before we have finished, we're just going to put it out there. I don't know whose idea it was to go and get my eyebrows laminated this morning.

They typically don't look this dark. It looks like I have two very hairy caterpillars on my eyes. But we're just going to go with it today. Here we are. Do you want me to paint my eyebrows right now and we could do it together? No. You know I would do that. I know you would, but we won't because the one time you forgot heels and you had to wear your Birkenstocks, you looked at me and I said, you know I'm not putting the outside of me.

I said, is there any chance you want to wear flats with me? I said, no. No. Hey guys, I'm Ange. I'm Ari. And this is Girls Gone Bible. We're a faith-based podcast where we talk all things, spirituality, mental health, the Bible, relationships. We love Jesus so much. And it's been a long time since Ari and I talked about dating. Well, we're going to talk about a lot of things today. Dating, singleness, relationships. Identity. I think we try so hard to not like come on here and talk about dating too much, right? Because there is this thing where a lot of people, and us at times you can make relationships or marriage and idol.

And so we like don't want to come on all the time. But it's also such a massive part of people's lives, you know. And I think you and I have both learned quite a bit when it comes to dating and dating in a godly way. And yeah, we just want to talk about some things. Yeah, let's go. How is your week? What did I do this week? I know.

I always forget what I did. You know, something that I've really been praying for, prayer is so powerful. Yeah. Something I've been really praying about is like I just want to feel energized. Yeah. Like my soul has felt really tired. And it's like, it's hard when you're like trying to go through your day. You want to work out.

You want to do all these things. But you just feel so exhausted. Like I wake up and I've been feeling so tired. Yeah. Yeah. And so I've just been fervently praying on, I just want to have. have energy. I want to feel good. I want to get up. I want to be able to do things. And I had a couple friends even pray over me. And I feel so free. Okay. So good. You need to pray that for me next.

I know. Oh my gosh. And it was just like a little nudge from God. Like don't stop praying. Wow. Yeah. Don't submit to whatever's happening. Just pray about it. Keep praying. I know. So I've been feeling really good. Good. Have you been working out? Black eyebrows. Please don't make fun of me. you guys. I'm so embarrassed. I did Pilates. I need to start doing weight training though. I know me too. Weight training is so hard by yourself in the beginning. You know what I mean? I feel like you need a buddy to get into it. You do need a buddy. But I will tell you, it is so good for the mind when you actually push yourself and work out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How is yours? Week. My mind?

Yeah, weak. Your arms look so different on you. Why are you so up? Up? We have such, look at yours and then look at mine. Did I do mine the wrong? Maybe mine are upside down. Did I put mine on upside down? I don't know. Me and Ari have, yeah, they don't look the same. Me and Ari decide, because people already can't tell us apart.

We're already looking the same. They can tell us apart today. They don't know who is who, and so we decided to get the same earrings on top of it. So now you really can't tell. I can't. My week was good. I actually don't remember anything. What did we? Oh, it was the fourth of July. Oh, it was the fourth of July. We were just together.

We were together. We were talking about. That was really fun. The fourth was so fun. And if anyone was wondering how we said, we're going to be with the Culeanos's, like, we're probably going to talk about the early church fathers. We did? Yeah. The first night, remember at dinner? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Because we were all in like a really serious conversation. I started dying, laughing in my head, thinking like, well, here we are. How do I know if I'm in a season, season of waiting, or if I'm just afraid to put myself out there. Well, I think being in a season of waiting is like you should genuinely feel like the Lord is telling you not to date. Like I feel like it should be, I feel like when you're ready to date or you should be dating, there's like a grace to date. Like you're,

you want to. You are enjoying it. You feel called to it. There's not like a bunch of resistance. I feel Like sometimes, like I've been in seasons where I know I was meant to be waiting and meant to not be dating. And so like every date that I go on or every guy that I meet, it's just, it feels disappointing. It feels like a letdown. There's no peace. It's not enjoyable. You know what I mean? I think when God is like asking you to go out and date and put yourself out there, like there should be like a grace, just like anything else that we do where there's a grace on it.

you feel like God's in it, you know? There's peace and you're enjoying it. And I feel like when you're afraid to put yourself out there, like after you've been hurt or something, that was a question that I was excited to ask. Like, how do you know that you're healed enough to start dating? And I think you know you're healed enough when you enjoy it. I think like a key sign that you're not ready to date after being hurt is if you hate it, you're miserable, you're so resistant. You're like, I don't want to do this, but I feel like I have to. I feel like I should. And I feel like that's a sign like, okay, then don't force yourself to do something that you just don't want to do, you know?

Yeah. But we always talk about like, too, when you have been single for so long that it's so hard to, like, get out there. Yeah, I think you become so comfortable, which is such. a beautiful thing. I mean, I said this to you recently that I'm so comfortable, alone, that I'm like, I don't want anyone to disturb my peace. Yeah. Well, you said something the other day, you were like, I love my house. I don't want to share a room with someone. Do you guys ever feel like that? Like, I need my own room. Yeah. I really feel like I'm going to need my own room. There's nothing like having my own space. I mean, for me, like recently, I've been having to kind of push

myself a little bit because you can become so complacent. Yeah. And you can just become so comfortable that you are like, no, I'm good. Yeah. So I think it's important to to push yourself. Yeah. Push yourself to go out with friends. Not, not, you know, we don't have to like do all these things. And I hate when people say like, go put yourself out there. Like, okay, just relax. Like don't put so much pressure on yourself. I understand. But yeah, That is good to push yourself a little bit. Like recently, I've started to go to more dinners and just be out a little bit more. Yeah. It's good to get out of the house because we really can become so complacent.

Yeah, yeah. Is it okay to want marriage so badly? I read this one on the ride here. I think that I think it's okay to yearn and I think it's okay to want something. Yeah. But if you're getting to the point where you want it so badly, where it's all you're, can think about when you can't be settled then i don't even know if the word is there's something wrong but i think you need to let jesus fill that a little bit more because it should never get

to the point where you want something so badly because then that becomes an idol yeah and until jesus and i know this just from myself until until jesus is truly enough for you until he truly satisfies every part of you. No relationship, no marriage, no thing, no person, no nothing will ever satisfy you. Then you'll get the marriage and then you're going to want something else like so bad. That's why he says, love me with all your heart. Let me be, he's like, let me be the one that fills you because when I do, then someone else will just add to you. You won't need that thing so badly. That is so good. And then when you do, get that. Here's the thing about idolizing marriage. To make an idol out of something means you've

put it above God or it means that you've given it like a place in your heart that only God should have or you've given it like meaning. You find comfort in that thing instead of God. You find security in that thing instead of God, which I am so guilty of. I think everybody's guilty of that and it's something that you have to walk out. But if you and like honestly, if you haven't walked this, out and you are wondering, like, have I made idol and have I made marriage and idol? You'll probably go through something that shows you, oh, yeah, I did. I think a lot of us have to go through something to see, oh, yeah, that's why that will never work. That's why you can never say this person brings me safety. This person brings me security. This person brings me confidence. I just, I feel like if you

have made marriage and idol, the second you get in a relationship, you're going to start expecting things for that person to give you that they can't give you and it's just going to be chaotic and it's going to be difficult and there won't be any peace. But honestly, you guys, this is such a weird tension to hold because I think when you're in a relationship and you're wanting to get married, it's like when you are married, you do put all of this, you do put so much into your spouse. You do look to your spouse for safety. You do look to them for security, you're one. They're your provider, your protector, you are their home, like, you do become literally one. But then in dating, you're not one. So like holding those boundaries is so important.

Yeah. Yeah. I haven't dated since. Like I truly haven't, because I've been single for so long. So what are some pointers that you can give to hold those boundaries? Yeah. That's a really good question. And I think, well, it's like a million different. First of all, you have to hold boundaries in dating. Like you have to hold boundaries emotionally, spiritually. I think because we are abstaining from sex and all forms of sexual immorality outside of marriage, we won't have a physical soul tie with someone, right? But like, emotional soul ties can be.

dressed as bad. You know what I mean? Can be just spiritual soul ties. Acting like someone's wife, letting someone act like your husband, playing house, even if you're not living together, but like playing husband and wife, praying together in a way that is like only spouses should do. That stuff, honestly, like even claiming one another in a way that's not appropriate unless you are husband and wife and like you should not be claiming one another. I just think, like, like, wait, tell me what that means.

Claiming, like, I, even just like the language we use, like, like, you're mine or like, things are,

you're mine. You know what I mean? I'm trying to, you know what I mean? I'm thinking about wedding crashes. Do you remember that? When he, like,

pubs, like, she was so nuts. Look at Thomas. You're mine. don't ever leave me oh that's what they say right don't believe me um anyways you know what i mean like don't show up at the house of the bat when he does something wrong yeah 100% don't say who's texting us yeah it's just like holding boundaries of like you are not married to this person and there is so

it's like the language you use like and you know like okay yeah you know you know what you know What really? Tell me. I am just like, I, okay, let me just, let me take a deep breath. I don't want to be mean. I'm just, I'm the aunt, so I'm just trying to. Oh my gosh, what are you going to say? I just can't.

Why do you need to share your locations? Do you, like, I can't even imagine being like, oh, by the way, can I, can I, of your location? That would be so crazy. And for what? Do you guys, if you don't trust the person that you need to look at their location, there's literally something wrong. Yeah, I look at your locations. You're mine. You're mine. But like, it's just a form of possessiveness to me. I don't understand it. It's like, it's weird. It's weird behavior. Like, let the person live. No, you know, me and Angela were, we're talking about. We were like, um, what? I forget when we were watching. We were watching some video and we're like, dude, why don't, why don't wives left their husbands go golf and I'm like,

go? No, we literally, I don't understand like they want to go golf. That's like, unless you have kids, of course, and like you have three kids and your freaking husband is like gone on the time. But I'm very much like, oh, please go take a day off. Please go. No, no, please. We're watching a video on TikTok and the husbands were getting so scared to call the wives. I know. And ask them if, like, honey, like, I have to be really nice. So they'll let me go golfing with my friends. Like, I would be happy if I knew my husband was going golfing.

I don't. And maybe that's a hot take. And, and go. Go. Go. And it gives me time to, like, relax. Dude, we could do skin care. We could do whatever we want.

Anytime. Go, go to work. Go to golf. Go. Oh. It just spit everywhere. That is awesome. That is such a good point.

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Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Go! No, seriously. What else? Don't you hold dating. you're not married. Just talking about the future in a way that is romantic and in moments of hyper sensitivity and feeling in love and feeling those are all like

spiritual. I just genuinely believe you're creating soul ties that you should not be creating. I think plans for the future like marriage and kids and even joking. like putting their last name on your name before. Whoa. I know. And like, or like naming children together.

I think this is very, you know what I mean? Talking about the future as like a means to like have this emotional connection rather than being in moments of like logic and and groundedness and saying like these are our godly plans for the future, not as a means to like create connection and like dream and blah, blah, blah. Does that make sense? Of course it does.

I just think like people get hurt so much because we talk. We're reckless. We're reckless with the way that we speak. We jump the gun. And we do things based off emotion rather than God's voice and logic. And it's just like when it comes to dating, you have to be careful. Your heart is at risk. Somebody else's heart is at risk.

You know, we just, we can't be reckless with. Yeah. And have your own life. What I see so much. And even like in the past, totally. You make this person your world. Yeah. That's the number one thing you cannot do.

And if it is what you're doing, it's a clear sign that you don't feel safe within yourself. Yeah. Do not make someone your world. Have your own life. Have your own things to do. Have your own friends. Focus on Jesus. And it shouldn't be a thing where this person is your whole world.

It should just, it should be someone that just, adds to your life. It shouldn't be this thing where you're obsessing every day that you need to be with this person. That's just a clear sign that you probably need to be alone. Yeah, and you've for sure made an idol out of it. And we understand like loving someone and wanting to be with them, but it just comes to the point where it needs to be healthy. It has to be healthy. And if you're, if you've gotten to the point, and by the way, we don't say this from a place of judgment, we've both been there. That's why I can literally. Yeah. We've both been there. But if you're at a place, where you, again, like I've been here. I think I'm like, it's just we've been here. When you've

come to a place where literally you don't want to see anyone else, you don't care about anyone else, nothing else matters, you're willing to give up everything. I've been there. You're willing to give up everything for someone. If that's what God is asking you to do, and there are very rare cases of that for sure, but like you have to know. And honestly, God is such a good father. He's such a good dad that like if you have a pure heart and you're seeking Jesus and you're even like in a relationship that's not the healthiest but you can't see it. I trust Jesus so much to blow up our plans before we destroy ourselves with them. Of course you will. And so yeah, I just think those boundaries like listen to us when we tell you I know we know when you're in a relationship how

good it feels to get so close to someone and you talk about the future. and it almost feels like it's good to create such attachment because it makes you feel safe and blah, blah, blah, all those things. But all it, you don't, if someone is your spouse, if they're your person, if they're the person God has for you, you don't need to do anything to keep them in your life. You don't need to do anything to get them to stay or to make them love you. You don't need to do anything. So the best thing you can do genuinely, and this is something that we've had to walk out, the best thing you can do is hold someone lovingly and loosely. and we don't get anything holding things tightly, nothing. We actually do the opposite.

You only have the opposite effect. So we just want to say, like, I think as humans, as people, we try so hard to create that connection. We try so hard to create that connection for security, but it only hurts you in the end. Always. You know? Yeah. So. How do I steward my singleness well?

That's a good question. Here's the thing. We're all going to have moments. singleness because we desire to be loved and to have love or whatever, you know, so we're going to have moments of wanting someone or maybe you're at a wedding and you have moments of feeling grief and, you know, yearning for someone. But to remind yourself that I'm exactly where I need to be. Yeah. And not wasting it and I talk about it a lot, but creating friendships. Yeah. filling your days with serving Jesus.

Like, this is your time with Jesus. This is your time to, like, it's the sweetest time. I can't believe how many things I've gotten to do this past four years. I've gotten to see the most beautiful places, the friendships that I made. I've gotten to help people. I've gotten to just really focus and put everything into Jesus. And, yeah, you just have fun. Have fun.

Because it is fun. I feel like people, it's like the end-all be-all if we don't have a person. And it's ridiculous. I mean, it's not. This is an amazing time. Being single is not the end-all be-all. It's actually a place where God's like, it's me and you. How sweet of a time that is.

So you have to change your perspective. You have to continuously. be aware of how you're speaking on it because we can get so, we can get so wrapped up in speaking death. Yes. Oh, I'm isolated. I'm alone. Everybody around me has someone.

All my friends are getting married. How about changing that to? What a gift that I'm in this place where I can serve Jesus with all of my heart. I can go all in with him. I can meet new friends. I can go places. I don't have someone that's, that I have to call to. I can put everything into my own self.

into Jesus and into friendships and I can do new things. That's such a beautiful thing. So it's all about perspective. It's all about how you speak. And if you do it right, you will look back and be like, that was the best season of my life. And even some of you, I feel like, but it's been this many years, it's okay. It's okay. It is okay. So just knowing, just knowing that his ways are so much higher than your ways and I can speak for myself. What has felt so long has been the sweetest, most greatest time of my life. And even in the moments where I was like, I don't understand. I look back even three months ago and I'm like, now I do understand. So I truly do know that his ways are perfect. Just focus on him. And there's no way that you can't be in the will of God and the plan that he has for

your life. That's so good. And I love what you said about no matter how many years. as it's been. Ari and I, we experience this all the time. We'll be in Christian. I think when you're living in the world, like, I never thought about getting married. I never thought about like, I was never like, oh, I'm 27 and times running out. Like, I never thought about that. But it's literally the second I came into the Christian world where it's a beautiful thing that there's such an emphasis on marriage. I think people should be getting married. Families are beautiful. It's amazing. everybody should be getting married if that's what God has for them in that season. Like it definitely shouldn't be like the world where nobody values marriage or family and you're

single at, you know, you're a single man at 50. I don't need to put down the men. But being like you're at the club and saying, I'm just not ready. That's crazy. But then at the same time in the Christian world too, I think especially girls, we can experience so much shame being in our late 20s, early 30s or late 30s, early 40s, it doesn't matter. and looking around and everyone being like, well, why are you single? Why are you single? And they don't mean it in a bad way, but it automatically makes you feel like what's wrong with me.

There's not when like, it's ridiculous. The truth could be that God purposely, the Lord wants you single because he wants, you know what I mean? So it's almost like you're feeling shame for a place that God has you in intentionally. I have so many people be like, well, why are you still single? And I'm like, why? I'm like, do you know what I've done the past four years? What I have a call? who I've met, the friendships I've created, what I've been able to do for Jesus that I would not, I repeat, would not been able to do had I been in a relationship, had I been married, I wouldn't have. If we were married with kids, you can just think about it like this. If we were married with kids, there would not have been a Girls Gone Bible tour. You know what I mean?

How really plausible is that if we are both married should want to be at home with our husbands or have kids, you know? So there's so much beauty. There genuinely is so much. beauty and being single. And I just, we want to speak to everyone who feels shame for not having a person yet and not being married yet and going into Christian spaces where everybody is like 20 and married. And that's beautiful for them. And that's amazing. And if that's not your story and you're 30 or you're 40 and you're still single, you are not damaged goods. You're not bad. You're not behind. There's not something wrong with you. It's just like, we're with you. We're with you. And we don't want you to have shame and we don't want to feel shame for just like like excuse me my dad knows what's going

on you know what I mean like he's got it yeah yeah and I will just repeat it to you that time truly does if I've learned anything yeah God makes up time like that he can make things happen like that that's what he did with everything in our lives so good and it truly means nothing to him and he will restore every single year yeah and so I know the panic in your 30s but you don't have to panic and worry about what the world says because God's ways are so much it's the opposite of what the world says. Yeah. So when he wants it to happen for you, he will and you have to just stay as close as you can to him and bring that to him and talk to him about that. I've had to really, that's something I've had to really submit to him and I've, I've grieved and I've went through a lot

in my singleness. It has not been easy. I just want to like, it hasn't. It's, I have days where I'm like, I don't have faith. But then as I stay close and I keep focused on him, I'm just so grateful. When I get to heaven, the one question I'm going to ask is, why'd you make a state? I'm going to say, you know what, Jesus? That could have been one thing that you just said, here's your spouse, you don't ever have to try. How would we grow and learn? There's so many ways to grow, don't you think? No, you're right. You're completely right. Well, he's ruined. Jesus has ruined it for me. Oh, yeah. I know. For this song, I'm like, who's going to add up?

That's so good. I'm serious. Yeah. Okay, you know what? I'll read some of these. How do I know if someone is the person God has for me? What are biblical non-negotiables? What are red flags?

What are green flags? Can we talk about like, can we talk about potentially dating someone who isn't a believer and how easy it is to settle as a non-Christian. I think the temptation can really be, like, as single girls and you meet, I mean, people go through this all the time. They meet guys or Christian guys meet girls who aren't believers or would call themselves a Christian. But, like, you know, by the way, just for a reference, you guys, when you're dating or having for, or anything, to being a Christian and being a follower of Jesus are two completely different things. can say you're a Christian all you want because you could have grown up in Christianity,

you could have grown up with Christian parents, you grew up going to church, and that could like classify you as a Christian. But being a follower of Jesus means that the Holy Scriptures, the Bible, has the authority to dictate the way you live your life. So that's what a follower of Jesus means. That means that the scriptures, the person and the spirit of Jesus, all have the authority to dictate the way you move, the way you think, the way you speak, the way you speak, way you act. And so that's what a follower of Jesus is. So you can't just date or marry a Christian. You date or marry a follower of Jesus. And so when you talk, if you're going on a date and you're asking someone, hey, are you a Christian? And they say, yeah, me and Arivik, everyone's experienced

that so much. So many people would say that they're a Christian. But to ask the question, are you a follower of Jesus? And then say, do you let the Holy Scriptures, the Bible dictate? have the authority to dictate how you live your life, they're probably going to be like, I never read the Bible. You know what I mean? Yeah, you got to look at their fruit. Yeah, that too. You got to look at their fruit.

You got to look at how they're living in their life. Yeah, we've experienced that a lot. A lot of people say they're Christians, but they don't live that way at all. Yeah. So I was at a birthday the other day. Yeah. And I think. sometimes you forget that the rest of the world like has sex outside of merit like you

forget the do you ever find that I was I was thinking that when I was watching this vlog the other day I'm like they just have sex no it's so crazy it's so foreign to me I know and and I was talking to I was talking to somebody and I was basically telling her and it was mostly my friends but telling her how I live my life I was telling her like, I'm a Christian who pursues purity. I don't have sex. I don't have any. So like the boundary is like, I don't even have sleepovers, blah, blah, blah, whatever. And she was floored, like, floored. And I like joking, someone joking. I was floored when I first heard about it. Yeah. And then someone jokingly said, like, can you find, they were saying like to set me up with someone in her world. She was English. Anyways, and she goes, I know a lot of Christians, but not Christians like that. And I was so like, that's so crazy to me, you know. And I think Ari and I, and that's another thing of why people are single. The standard that we live to is so high. You can find people who call themselves Christians, but don't walk the walk and like live a pure and

holy life, you know? So, so realistically, in our, for us, we're finding somebody who we're attracted to because that matters. Don't listen to people who say it doesn't matter. It matters that you're attracted to your person that you're attracted to that you get along with, that you enjoy talking to, that you have similar humor and you can laugh together, that you have the same values and ways of, but then that you have the same faith and that they really live their life like that. That's a high standard. So yeah, it is not like you're not going to just find someone overnight most of the time, you know? Yeah. How far is too far physically? I'm going to go as far as to say that physical purity and dating is so difficult. It is. You're falling in love with someone,

you're spending every day with someone, you are potentially going to marry someone, you're having conversations about the future, physical purity and dating is really hard. And so that's something that we want to acknowledge that it's not just like a, hey, be good and don't do, like, it is difficult. It really is. And that's why the standard that you set for yourself, I think, is the most important part, the standard that you set, but the standard that God has set. Like, I genuinely believe that boundaries in dating should be you never touch each other

in a couple of different places on your body. You don't go there. you never see each other naked. You never see each other without your clothes. There should never, ever, ever, ever, ever be a moment where an article of clothing is taken off. That's crazy. It's crazy. And I don't care to be, like we can even make this a clip.

You should never touch one another in a place that you shouldn't be touching them. I think as far as makeouts go, you just be careful and you and this this is the part that gets difficult because you can say like don't let it get steamy don't let it get whatever but like that happens very quickly um i think there have been times even in a relationship that i was in where we set a boundary of like not making out because it was and for some people that might sound so trivial but like first of all what why are you even getting your body to that place anyways? Like it's just for what?

You're not even for what? It just doesn't even make sense. And two, it's not pure. It's not clean. So I would just say like the boundary is literally nothing. I don't know how to say it other than the boundary is nowhere. This is probably the thing I care about most. Probably because of having a past of sin and having a past,

I think you become even more sensitive when you go the opposite way. You know what I mean? Where now I'm like, and I just know, first of all, why do you need a soul tie? Like, it's just a type of intimacy that's going to break your heart so badly if you guys. It's just not worth it. It's not. Does any of that make sense? Yes.

Here's the thing. Some of you could be listening to this and being like, oh, I remember like hearing. And this is not. legalism. This is literally protection and alignment with God. Yeah. Truly. The thing is when you are dating someone, you cannot know if it's real, if it's true, when you are blinded by lust. Of course you're going to, oh, yeah, let's date someone for two years. Let's let's do. Of course when you're having sex and you're doing, of course it's fun. You have, take that out.

and get to know each other on a spiritual level, you will know very fast. That's why everyone I see, they're dating for years, two, three years. Do you know how long two, three years is? That is a long time. And then all of a sudden you just break up. It's crazy.

It's crazy. You've, like, nothing's wasted in the hands of God. And he truly does restore and redeem and you learn. and Romans 828 said he turns all things together for your good. But why go through those years of soul tie that you, and then you're heartbroken and you have to heal all. It's not worth it. It's not.

If you want a healthy relationship, if what you're aiming for as a marriage and to not be so heartbroken and go through all of this grief and heartache and all these things, do it God's way. Yeah. That's why God has a guideline on what to do. Who do you think he just wants to punish you and doesn't want you to enjoy your life and have all these things? No, but it should be under God's covenant because when it's not.

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It's crazy. And take it from two girls who have lived. There are so many maybe people watching because cultural Christianity, guys, we were there. Ari and I were devout followers of Jesus. We were obsessed with him. We were praying for people. We were evangelizing. We were on mission, living out of purpose, all the things and still having sex outside of marriage. Because we genuinely did not believe what God said about it. We were blind to it. And it felt like the second the Lord started to take the scales off our eyes and show us, we began to see how dirty and evil sin was, how it just like tears you apart from the inside out. And if you're someone who is a Christian about having sex outside of marriage and you're saying, well, it doesn't affect me like that. I promise it's because you're blind.

I promise it's because Satan has like twisted it for you. And that's what happened to me for years. I loved Jesus so much. and I genuinely did not think that having sex was affecting me whatsoever, but it was. It was destroying me. And even more than that, it was taking me away from Jesus. And it was breaking God's heart. Literally the very thing that Jesus died for, I was thinking I was really enjoying.

And if you're watching this, please understand that we have no reason to tell you guys this. We could come on here and just not talk about sex if we didn't. we can still talk about Jesus and not talk about that part. Why do you think we talk about it that much? Because we've lived that life and we know. And if you're in a relationship or you're having hookups or you're doing whatever and you're having sex or even going too far, you guys, it leads to death. It doesn't bring life. Choose Jesus in this area.

Choose purity. Choose holiness. Like it matters so much. And I know that when you do get married, you're going to get to a point where you're going to look back and say, thank you, Jesus. I did it. I honored God. I honored myself. I honored my spouse. It's so worth it. I feel the delight of God when it comes to purity. I know it pleases him. I know why would you not want to do something that you can feel the tangible pleasure and delight of God when you choose him in those moments. And it's daily too. Totally.

It's not easy to staying purity, but, you know, it looks different for everyone. I think for me, walking in purity for the first time in my life after living a sin, living a life of sin, for me that meant that I could not jump into another relationship. Because I had to learn purity. I had to learn self-control. I had to learn self-control. I had to learn the love of Jesus. I had to go all in with him.

So that meant me being alone. And I don't know, for some of you, maybe that's, maybe you need to, maybe you're in a relationship right now where it just, it's impossible to just turn around and do celibacy. So good. And that might mean that you may need to be alone. So good. Such a good point. I am so happy you said that what Ari just said, if you're in a relationship and you guys haven't been, you know what I mean? you guys haven't been pursuing purity or even if you're single and you've been hooking up or doing

whatever, you just can't be around temptation. It's like me overcoming alcoholism. Like, what am I going to go to a bar? You know what I mean? If you have to, and if you're in a relationship and you both are following Jesus and you both love Jesus and you love each other and you genuinely believe this is the person for you, but you guys can't stop falling into sin and temptation. But, and you're afraid that. but I don't want to break up or spend time apart because this might be good. If you do something like that by breaking up, spending time apart, pursuing the Lord on your own, if you think that God won't honor that, if that truly is your person and if it's not, you don't want to be with that person anyways, that's where like, and that's so much easier

said than done, that's so coming from someone who has operated out of fear and not trusting Jesus in that area. like if you genuinely make the choice to separate and give yourselves over to Jesus completely and do what are you said you've got to do that by yourself you can't be trying to overcome lust and temptation while like watching a movie with a guy by yourself and you know how are you going to do that it's too hard yeah yeah it's and i just i just remember really like bringing that like i'm just thinking about my purity journey and like bringing that every day to him like this is so hard help me what does purity look like how and like what it looked like for me is really just like we always talk about like guarding your eyes yeah and when i when i really felt the way god restored my purity and he just just my dignity

everything and the way he walked with me just made me be like I like I don't want to I don't want to keep living this way and so he really does restore you no matter even in right now if you have been walking with Jesus and you love him and you fell and you have keep falling into sexual temptation I mean that's what the cross is and he restores you and he's just waiting for you to come to him and be honest and say help me I mean that's that's the first step. I know that was the first step for me is I really don't know how I'll do this. I've been living this way. Can you help me? And he really does. And he restores you and he walks with you. And I'll read the scripture. The scripture, I love all these scriptures about how you read.

Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forget. give us for our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Imagine that. That's the gift that we have, that no matter how deep in sin we are, no matter even if you've been a Christian and you know the gospel, but you keep going the other way, that all you have to do is turn to him. And just like that woman that was caught in the act that was dragged out in the middle

with, she was probably naked and she's sitting there. I can't imagine what she felt like. And Jesus just bent right down to her and he saw her. And she didn't even have to ask for forgiveness. He looked at her and he said, you are forgiven. But go send no more. Let's try this again. So just know that no matter how far gone you are, he's sitting right there and he loves you and he's waiting for you.

He's ready to restore you. And you can do it. I feel like this was the one area for me at least that was like the most impossible. It felt like the one area I could never. ever overcome. There's no way I could pursue purity. And the Holy Spirit's literal job, literal job is to empower you to do the things that God is asking of you. And I'm just like going to tell you if Ari and I can do it and we can do it successfully and we can do it proudly and we can do it like happily, you can do it. It's not if God is asking you to do something. He will

empower you and give you the strength and the ability and honestly deliver you from some things you need to be delivered from. But deliverance isn't just a moment of someone praying for you in like supernatural deliverance, which happens and can happen. But first it's the open doors. It really is. I will tell you my mind is so. I can't even watch people like kissing barely because and that didn't happen overnight. Someone didn't come. I'm praying for deliverance. You're delivered in Jesus name and now you have no lust or anything. No, it's been years of gradually being careful of what I'm watching, what I'm taking in, and you do, your heart gets pure. Your eyes get pure. That's how it works. It's not just one day you're able to do it. No, it's gradually, consistently resisting the devil,

having him flee from you, choosing Jesus, and having boundaries for your, when you pursue the things of God, when you pursue purity, like the things that are pure, set your eyes in mind on things above, things that are pure and holy, you simply become that. You just become that. Just like if you watch things that are dirty and raunchy and crazy and weird, but like you will become that too. We are what we receive. We are what we take in. And so.

You just looked up that scripture, Roman 6th, for the wages of sin is death. Yeah. I it's you you truly when you are walking and sin you don't realize how dead you are yeah like you're literally dead like I could I even look back at myself in my eyes like I was dead and I didn't even realize that and the peace that I carry my life isn't perfect but I talk about this a lot I struggle so much with torment in my mind and why when I there is a there is an authority that you walk in and that you carry when you walk with him. There's such like a confidence when you're not being led by your flesh.

A thousand percent. There's a confidence because you feel close to Jesus too. Like you will feel so much closer to Jesus when you're pure. But to set the mind on the spirit is a life of peace. Even if you don't have joy when you carry peace, which most people just don't have. Everybody is so because you're letting the flesh lead your life. But when you let the spirit, when you let God be the driver of your life,

no matter what you're going through, there is a peace. And there is nothing. I mean nothing from coming from a life where I never experienced peace to now walk in peace. Yeah. It's true freedom. Yeah. I think too. I wish we could do a whole episode on like,

operating out of trauma and doing relationships from a place of trauma rather than a place of like feeling secure in Jesus because I feel like when you do things God's way, you don't feel the need to like, because there's a question, how do I know if God is saying yes, no, or wait? And I just think peace is such a massive thing. And I feel like when you're truly operating out of security in Jesus, you can rely on peace and follow peace so that when there's a lack of peace, you don't make excuses for it. When there's a lack of peace, you don't justify it, but you say, you know what, this isn't right because God says he's not the author of confusion.

He's the prince of peace. And I feel like when you're operating out of trauma, like I know for me, because of the way I grew up and things that I've been through and had to walk through specifically in my childhood, I will, there's like, I have like a high capacity for dysfunction. And you know what I mean? And so I will allow and put up with things that God would never ask me to put up with. God would never ask me to submit to. You know what I mean? Obviously, if you're married, that's a completely different situation. That's through sickness and in health and through life and death. But when you're dating. It's like that is the time where you evaluate and you say like, no, I, I, yeah, I just

think what I'm learning so much is that so many of us operate out of our trauma and our upbringing rather than through security in Jesus that he has what's best for us. And he's asking us, like how I said earlier, I wish that he would just tell us who to date. The reason he doesn't do that is because he wants to help us. He wants to guide us. He wants us to trust him. And he wants us to make decisions based out of the piece he's giving us and his voice and his direction. But so many of us, that's why you genuinely have to go through deep healing because you will be choosing people out of your trauma, choosing people that feel familiar to the dysfunction that you grew up with.

Yeah. If you had parents who were absent and like not loving, you'll probably be dating guys or girls who are like neglectful and absent and that don't show you love and affection. You know, if you had parents that were super controlling and manipulative, you'll probably date people that are controlling and manipulative, you know what I mean? And so there's so much work and that's what I think you and I have realized the most is like there's so much work that needs to be done on us so that we can even be able to attract the type of person that God has for us, you know, so we're not attracting someone who resembles our childhood.

Yes. And I think another thing for the question of weight or what is that? It says, how do I know if God is saying yes, no, or wait? I think this goes back to when you're walking in alignment with God. I know for me, when I'm reading my word, when I'm spending time with him, when I'm truly. like in alignment and it's really spending time. I'm really in my word. I can hear the voice of God. Yeah. If I'm in a certain situation where I'm day, you know, I go on a day. I can, I can literally hear. No, no, no, no, no, don't go. And you can. Like, that's the gift that we have with the Holy Spirit. We don't realize how blessed we are to have the Holy Spirit an advocate that guides us, that

tells us where to go, that tells us to stop, that tells us not to go there. What a gift. What a gift that we have that. And so when you're, you can hear if, when you're spending time in partnership with God, that's the gift that we have. Yeah. He lives in us. He speaks to us. He guides us. Yeah. And so, um, I love that you say that about there come, there, there, there is a piece. And you will hear that small voice no no no don't go there don't do that and then even praying one thing what i love to pray the prayer if this isn't from you i'm starting to listen to my own voice but it sounds like you and i don't know and i'm a little confused say the prayer if you don't want this for me make it known i never want to go out of your will speak to me like make it known and he really will he's your advocate the holy

Spirit is our advocate. He will speak to you. Yeah. So good. Thank you, Holy Spirit. Thank you, Holy Spirit. I think that just how do I stop looking for my identity in Jesus? Or no. How do I stop looking for my how do I stop looking for my identity in relationships? I just think like I said, you get comfortable with being uncomfortable. When you've grown up not being always being in relationships, it's going to feel uncomfortable to be in a season where you're alone. It just is. If you're watching everyone around you getting married and you're in your 30s or your 40s and you're going to have those thoughts of time is running out, but you have to understand it's not. Let him renew your mind. Let him love you. Go into a season where you find true love because

he truly is the only one who will never disappoint you in this life. And when you understand that, fully, like fully, you won't look for someone to complete you. The person that comes into your life will just walk with you and add to you and follow Jesus with you. But you never want to get to this point where you need someone to complete you. You put your whole life into this other person. It's torture. I look back at my past relationships and I'm like, that was torture. Like I couldn't even think straight. What a nightmare. That's not a relationship. A relationship should be beautiful and just it should be something beautiful and effortless. You're always going to have, you know, your problems,

but it shouldn't be this thing where you can't think straight. And so let God transform your mind, spend time with him, learn his love, be in community. And in due time, like he says, seek me with all your heart and you'll find me. And in him you will find true love, true identity, true acceptance. 100%. And these are all things that are.

are really easy. This whole episode is like, it's so easy when you're not the one in a relationship to be like to see things perfectly. And then so I just want to say for all of us like everything we've talked about today, these are all things we have to walk out. These are all things that we have to continuously hear again and again and try and then and then and maybe not get it right every time and you forget and then hopefully you have people in your life that will remind you where you re-listen to this episode to remind you what really matters and how to stay sober-minded and dating, that's really important, staying sober-minded, grounded, logical, and truly, truly, truly, truly firm in Jesus.

And just be around other people and pray for each other and confess to each other. It's so beautiful. You and I have so many moments where we have moments of loneliness and moments that we doubt and you need people that will lift you up and will pray for you and remember. mind you and it gets you through and it heals. A hundred percent. Thank you for saying that because being single and relationships and learning to have full identity in Jesus, this is not like some easy road.

And honestly, we're still trying to navigate it and figure it out and we fall back. And we're just a bunch of sinners. Literally trying to just do our best every day. And so when we give this advice, sometimes, like, my heart gets a little convicted because I'm like, who am I? You know? Oh, I mean, all episode, I'm sitting there being like, yeah, take your own advice. No, literally. Like, I have some questions I don't even want to answer because I'm like, just the other day.

You know what I'm saying? Of course. But when I take a step back, like, it's not even advice that I'm this righteous person. It's just because I know that these are facts. And even as I give this advice, I give it to myself. 100%. This whole episode. Exactly.

This whole episode. It's something that we have to walk out. And it'll be something you walk out in relationships. And then you look back and you go, but I already knew all of that. Why didn't I do it? Why didn't I believe it? That's life, huh? I'm like, God's going to try to test me with some counterfeit.

And I'm going to, he's going to say, oh, I thought you heard the voice of God, huh? You do hear the voice of God. You do hear the voice of God. He's going to bring some cute little counterfeit. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just a non-no-no-no. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, don't go that way and say, huh? I can't hear you.

I can't hear you. We all know that. You know, when they bring someone with a nice, full, cute haircut. You love a good haircut. You're obsessed of haircut. Whenever there's someone on TV with a good haircut, Ari goes, I love that haircut. It's like the hair is everything, you know?

And you love. What do I love? You love. You want somebody to make you laugh. And I do too, honestly. I just want to laugh. I know. I just want, just make me laugh.

I think it, yeah, I know. Okay. Thank you for coming a Girls Gone Bible. We hope. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. We hope you had a good time.

We hope you had a good time because we did. Wadale. Okay, we love you guys so much. Oh, someone commented it and goes, I want to know so badly what it is you guys are looking at when you look there. Oh, my God, that's so embarrassing. And the truth is, there's a clock right there. Yeah.

So we're just, we're just looking at Jesus. It actually is the time. No, it's some hot man. Do Thomas? No, no. Hi Tommy. Hey Tommy. Tommy's such a good man.

Okay, but I have to tell you, I actually have to tell you something delusional and weird that I've been doing lately. I've been like, I'll like pretend. No, my, why am I talking about? Say you right now and it's the end. It's the end so you know it's all the true OGGGBs. Yeah, I'll be like, baby, can you go get me a cup of tea? Oh yeah, I know. No one's there.

She'll go, I'll face time her and she'll like move the phone fast. I'll be like, Are you with someone? And she would like, Baby, one second. I'll be right there. Can you give me some water? She doesn't leave me alone.

Yeah. Gosh, he's so late. I'm going to the French Riviera tomorrow. We're leaving in the morning. Okay, GGB, we love you so much. May the Lord truly bless you and keep you. May he make his face on upon you and be gracious to you. May he turn his face towards you and give you peace.

Shalom, shalom. Love you. I thought you again.