Girls Gone Bible - Idolatry in Relationships | Girls Gone Bible

Episode Date: July 28, 2025

  Hiiii GGB! Today we talk about idolatry in relationships. —Idolatry is the act of giving your heart, worship, dependence, or devotion to anything or anyone other than God. —It’s not just about golden statues — it’s about what rules your heart, occupies your mind, and shapes your identity. —Every idol must be dethroned — not always by removal, but by reordering your love. When God is first, everything else can be healthy and whole. You’re not going to want to miss this one. Idolatry of any kind is destructive and breaks God’s heart— and idolatry in your relationships causes major chaos and misalignment. we love you so much. Jesus loves you more. -Ang & Ari ORDER OUR NEW BOOK! You can order our new book “Out of the Wilderness— 31 Devotions to Walk with God Through Your Hardest Seasons” at girlsgonebible.com/book JOIN US ON GGB+ 🥹❤️ https://ggb.supportingcast.fm COME SEE US ON TOUR:  Tickets for our tour are now on sale. Go to www.GirlsgoneBible.com/tour September 4, 2025 - Seattle, WA September 5, 2025 - Portland, OR September 19, 2025 - Glenside, PA September 21, 2025 - Dayton, OH October 16, 2025 San Francisco, CA October 25, 2025 Morristown, NJ October 26, 2025 Patchogue, NY November 14, 2025 Atlanta, GA December 6, 2025 Los Angeles, CA  BetterHelp A convenient, affordable way to connect with a licensed therapist from the comfort of your home. Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/girlsgonebible. Glorify App Guided meditations and daily devotionals to build your faith and find inner peace on the go. Download the app for free at Glorify-app.com/ggb. Dose Daily A daily wellness beverage crafted with adaptogenic mushrooms for energy and mental clarity. Save 25% on your first subscription at DoseDaily.co/GGB using code GGB. Mint Mobile Premium wireless coverage with unlimited talk, text and data at an unbeatable price. Get a 3-month unlimited plan for only $15/month at MintMobile.com/GGB. Jolie Skin Co. A filtered shower head that reduces impurities to give you healthier skin and hair. Get free shipping at JolieSkinCo.com/GGB. WE LOVE YOU AND CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOU!

I'm sorry, Jessie. You forgot your name up for two years. Hey guys. No, no. Okay, you're good to go. Imagine. Jessie, I love you. Jared.

Jared. Thank you, Randy. Imagine if his name is Andy. Thank you so much, Randy. You do not. Thank you, Randy. Guys, Jessie's been our producer for a long time. She's been a producer for a long time.

She's been a producer for a long time. She's been a producer for a long time. She's been a producer for a long time. His name is Andy. You do not look like one. Thank you so much, Andy. You do not look like one. Thank you, Andy. Guys, Jesse's been our producer for two years now, and he comes and opens the window, and our goes, thank you, Andy. I'm telling you. I asked my therapist if I had early signs of dementia. What'd she say? No, you're okay.

You're just tired. Yeah. No, you're okay. You're just tired. I'm being attacked by the devil. No, you're just tired. Go eat a snack. Hang on.

Last thing. Sorry, everybody. Why don't we keep this in and just show them what the deal is. Give us your makeup products. Well, I'm using- All the people want is a makeup video and we still haven't given it to them.

I know, two years later and we still haven't given them a makeup video. I'm wearing less makeup, I think. How do girls film makeup videos? It's kind of hard. I don't know. Maybe you and I are a little bit technologically challenged. I think I'm technologically challenged with anything that doesn't have to do with the

Bible because I literally don't know how to do anything. Yeah, you do. That's a lie. I'm sorry. Thank you, Rebukeh. In Jesus' name. You edit our episodes. I know, but that's. I'm sorry. Thank you, Rebuke it in Jesus' name. You edit our episodes. I know, but that's what I'm saying. I don't know how to do anything other than like, if it's like not scripture. Like ask me to film a makeup tutorial? I'm scared.

Do I know how to do things? You know how to do everything. You know how to do so many things. Except for edits. I'm not technical, technolo not techni-co-techno-lo- Techni-co-lo- Techni- Technology? Okay, now you just, technically good.

Technically- Technologically good. Techni- It has a V word. Techni- Techni- N-o-logically. Perfect.

You did it. Sound. Hey! Oppa! We both show up with polka dots on. Polka dots dresses. Why can't we just wear a t-shirt? It's honestly, guys, you know what? I wore jeans and just a shirt,

and I actually felt so good. I'm going back to jeans. Can I be honest? I think we both look better. You know, I went back. Instead of these dresses that swallow our whole bodies, and we're just these blobs walking by. I went home and I was going out with my girlfriend.

She goes, all right, but can you just wear something a little, I don't know, normal? You're always looking like a milkmaid. I was like, okay. I love you and your milkmaid dresses. I've turned into like a, I've always been like this though. Yeah, you have. Since I've met you like a... I've always been like this though. Yeah, you have. Since I've met you, you were wearing dresses and I used to wear like camo pants.

You know, Angela used to wear low-rise. You used to wear the low-rise and they would look so good. I always say if I wore those low-rise jeans, I would look like one of those like... I don't even know if I can say it on here, but I just like, I just like, wouldn't all look good. Hi, I'm Ange. And I'm Ari. And this is Girls Gone Bible. We talk everything Jesus.

We love Him so much. He changed our lives. He saved our lives. And now we preach about Him to help you guys. We talk everything mental health, relationships. If you guys went through it, we probably do too. We say, come as you are, just don't stay that way. Oh man, guys, today is such a good episode. Ari and I are going to talk about idolatry,

specifically idolatry in relationships. You can idolize literally any and everything in life. You can idolize people. You can idolize marriage. You can idolize money. You can idolize self-image. You can idolize your body. You can idolize literally anything and everything. But today I think we're going to hone in on idolatry in relationships because Ari and I, as a lot of you guys know, Ari and I came from the world. We dated like the world. We've both been in multiple long-term relationships when we were younger.

And we have a lot of experience in this area. We talk about breakups, and we talk about relationships, because we've done things the wrong way a lot. And I think we've done things the wrong way a lot. And, you know, and I think we've just learned so much. And this is especially special for me today because this is something that I have, like, the Lord has been walking me through and teaching me about idolatry for the last few weeks in a way that is so, like, I almost feel like I have idolatry, like, tattooed on my heart right now, because

He has just, in like, real life revelation, He has shown me what it means to idolize people, things, everything. And like, I have now, I've been studying and just like, letting God show me in my quiet time with Him, like, what it really means to idolize something or someone, and then what that does to you, what that does to the relationship. And I've learned so much, Ari's learned so much in this, and I think something that I've been getting wrecked by God all morning. Like, I've been just so, I feel so full. And I've been in worship all day and just like letting Him speak to me about this.

And I feel so passionate about this right now because I think so many relationships and friendships end because of idolatry, because of misplaced devotion, misplaced affection. Like, anytime things are out of order, like, leads to destruction. We know that, but don't you think that like so many relationships that don't have to end end and friendships because things are just out of alignment? Yeah, because you put your identity into it and we were never supposed to do that. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Well, I think one thing I love about you so much is that it's just like, this is like

a perfect example of you. I don't know, what I learned from you a lot is like, you don't, like even if say you have idolatry in your heart, like I can always trust you when something maybe is misplaced in your heart, because I know you're so close to Jesus, you crucify it right there. It's like so special.

I love you, you're so cute. It really is, it's so cool to see. I wish it was right away. Sometimes it takes a little. But that's never the case as human beings, right? Totally. And like, I don't know, I just, I have goosebumps. Like, it's just so special to see the way you like, you don't need to get all this advice. You don't need, like, you know,

because I'll close you out with Jesus. And it's so inspiring. And I just need to tell you that. I love you. Thank you for saying that. It is. We've learned so much, both of us together through this. Like, we've just learned so much. And I think, right, a lot of this for both of us has to do with our upbringing and like, things maybe not being the most peaceful, maybe a little dysfunction, a little unsafe. And maybe we'll just give you guys like the definition, not the definition, but like a definition of idolatry is the act of giving your heart, worship, dependence, or devotion

to anything or anyone other than God. And I wrote this down, it's not just about golden statues because in the Bible, I feel like when you talk about idolatry, right, idolatry is so prevalent, especially in the Old Testament. If you read the Old Testament, you see the Israelites, the people of God, like, literally their whole journey is them having to be delivered from idolatry by God because they continuously, they're following God, they fall into idolatry. They're following God, they fall into rebellion. Like, they just put their trust, their love, their affection into a million other things

and it led them to their own destruction every single time. And then it says, it's not just about golden statues. It's about what rules your heart, what occupies your mind, and shapes your identity. Every idol must be dethroned. And it's not always by removal, but by reordering your love. When God is first, everything else can be healthy and whole. So I love this. What rules your heart? What occupies your mind? I know a lot of us, you can tell if you're wondering if you have any idolatry in your heart, what occupies your mind all the time?

For me, the first thing that comes to my mind is my body, food, like that struggle. Gosh, it's taken up so much of my mind. And then what shapes your identity? I let every friendship and relationship shape my identity. Like it's my number one thing, you know? And then yeah, when God is first, everything else can be healthy and whole. And I think R and I really want today to like teach you guys how to remove idolatry from your life so we can all have healthy and whole relationships.

So we're not showing up to our relationships at a deficit from a place of lack because God isn't on the throne of our hearts. That's so good. Will you get into it? Yeah, I think the first thing, I mean Exodus 23 to 4 says the first commandment is, you shall have no other gods before me. You should not make for yourself an idol. And God's like, yes, you can think of New Age spirituality and other religions and witchcraft and all the other like, really highly spiritual stuff that is an idol and that's really bad and we should do a whole episode on that.

But that's not really what we're talking about today because that idolatry is obvious. The idolatry that's not obvious is the really, really quiet idolatry in your heart that most of us go probably our whole lives without realizing is there. And I was thinking about this a lot because one of my best friends, she takes everything really literally. She's amazing and she like takes everything in the Bible literally and so she struggles because she's like, so I can do this, but I can't do this, but I can't. So like she's so stuck in morality. Because what she doesn't understand and what most people don't understand is like, God's not sitting

here being like, don't have sex, don't do this. These are obvious don'ts. But what is so much deeper and so much more important is the affection of our heart. It's literally about devotion. Like, where is your heart? What matters most? What about devotion. Like, where is your heart? What matters most? What is shaping your identity? What is your foundation? And like, I wrote this down. I feel like on tour Ari and I, I always read from Genesis 22, and I actually planned on reading from that today, but I decided to read something else because Genesis 22 is about Abraham and Isaac, and it's that beautiful, crazy, insane moment where God asks Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac. And basically, the whole point of the story is that God is keeping Abraham from idolatry.

And like, if you look at the whole Old Testament and the New Testament, but you see it so much in the Old Testament, is that God will not allow us to have idolatry. He will not share His glory with idols. He will not share our affection with anything else. And what I think has been so confronting for me is that like every relationship in my life, there's idolatry. With John, with Ari, with my mom, my devotion is misplaced. For me personally, and I think we both have the same frigging everything, but like, I want safety above everything.

I want identity because I think a lot of my identity lacks from childhood stuff and all of that. And I want security and I want comfort. And like, it's not bad to get a little comfort from people and people should make you feel safe. But it's when you let people become the source of those things, like if you become the source of my safety, if John becomes the source of my comfort, if my mom is the source of my identity, like that's really bad.

Yeah. You know? And yeah, God's main focus, I believe one of His main focuses is challenging and keeping us from idolatry. And so this is basically like a gentle warning for every single one of us. And it's so heavy on my heart that like, whatever you're idolizing, any relationship in your life, whatever you love, if you call yourself a Christian and you've like allowed Jesus in your life, He will come and tear down any idolatry. And I just think, for us, a lot of friendships and relationships end because of this. Do you get what I'm saying?

Yes, I do. I know about, I can speak on, like, romantic relationships. Like, whatever you make an idol out of, he will tear down. When did you, like, so tell us about, cause you said this past couple of weeks, share your journey with that. Yeah, I think, I wrote this down, idolizing a relationship can look good on the surface

because it looks like deep love, commitment and passion, but underneath it might include control, fear, obsession and misplaced identity. And so I think, you know, in the past few weeks, I have just been having little Jesus retreats where I've spent like extended amounts of time with Jesus because I was wondering like there was just like a little chaos in multiple areas of my life because I was wondering, like, there was just like a little chaos in multiple areas of my life, and I'm like, why? Why? And I knew it wasn't a place to begin rebuking. Like, I knew it wasn't spiritual warfare. I knew there was

like deep, something deep that was wrong. And I just think for the first time in my life the Lord brought idolatry to my mind. And He's been speaking about codependency to me a lot, and we did an episode on codependency, and I just realized, like, I put a lot of my value in my friendships and in my relationships, and I am codependent. And so, I oftentimes shape my... So much of my identity is shaped around our friendship, around Girls Gone Bible, and I'm actively like... That's normal, obviously. We do everything together. We have this thing now, and it's like you should be actively fighting against letting that be your identity. So it's normal. Anybody watching, if you're in a relationship, if you're married, if you have a job that takes up your whole life,

like, it's gonna happen. It's not like it's crazy if your identity is getting enmeshed and mixed up with these things. It's normal. It's just not okay. And so, I feel God being like, I'm not gonna let you you, I'm just not going to let this happen because He wants me to have like thriving relationships, thriving whole relationships where Jesus is the center and He's number one in every area. I'll just read this little part from Genesis 11. I couldn't believe it. Over the weekend, my pastor pastor Darren, he preached from the last chapter of Revelation and he talked about Babylon. And then I'm listening to somebody else, another teaching, and she was talking about Babylon, and I finally, for the first time, started studying Babylon, and I'm like,

what is this, knowing that we're going to come talk about this today. And I just want to tell you guys a little bit about Babylon because Babylon, we all have a little bit of Babylon in our hearts. And I think that this is maturity in Christ. It's not just the, don't have sex, don't smoke, don't drink, don't cuss, don't do these things. It's so much more than that. It's about like being even one degree off in your devotion causes so much chaos. And I want us all to have thriving relationships. Does this all make sense? So Babylon. So Genesis 11. Babylon, after the flood, after God flooded the whole earth, Noah's descendants, the people of Noah, they started to repopulate the earth. And then we have the city Babylon. So all of humanity began to repopulate and they settled in Shinar,

I looked that up three different times to make sure, which is a city in Mesopotamia, which is modern day Iraq. So they build the city. They're building the city Babylon. And Babylon represents and symbolizes idolatry, rebellion, evil, corruption, deception, and confusion. So you'll hear like in Revelation, they talk about Babylon a lot, not just as the city, like the historical city, but as like the evil entity. Like Babylon is the evil of the world. Idolatry is Babylon in our hearts. And I think the story is so important because it shows us the destruction of idolatry. What happens when there's any bit of misplaced affection or devotion in your heart just wreaks havoc on your relationships. And I feel like so many people are walking around

in their relationships and they don't know why there's so much chaos. They don't know why there's so much confusion, but it's literally because I'm expecting more from you than I should. You're expecting more from me. I'm putting my identity into you. So then I feel entitled that you have to meet every single one of my needs, and it's just not good. You know? And that's when they say, like, you can't get from people what you can only get from God. And it gets confusing because you do get a little bit of comfort from people. You do feel safe because of people. But again, when it becomes your main source, total destruction. So, I'm just going to read this little passage.

It's just this much right here. It says, At one time, all the people of the world spoke the same language and used the same words. As the people migrated to the east, they found a plain in the land of Babylonia and settled there. And they began saying to each other, Let's make bricks and harden them with fire. And in this reason, bricks were used instead of stone and tar was used for mortar. So from the very beginning, they're using the wrong thing to build their building. So the foundation they're initially setting is wrong, because any foundation that's not God's way, that's not God's order, you're already setting yourself up for demise. And then it says,

Then they said, Come, let's build a great city for ourselves, with a tower that reaches into the sky. This will make us famous and keep us from being scattered all over the world." So, everything they're doing is for themselves. It's rooted in pride. They're saying, let's build the city ourselves instead of letting God build it. And then let's build a tower all the way to heaven so everybody in the world knows who we are. So, it's just confusion, it's rebellion, like it's evil. And this is what Babylon is. And then it says, But the Lord came down to look at the city and the tower the people were building. Look, God said, the people are united, and they all speak the same language.

After this, nothing they set out to do will be impossible for them. Come, let's go down and confuse the people with different languages. Then they won't be able to understand each other. In that way, the Lord scattered them all over the world, and they stopped building the city. That is why the city was called Babel, because that is where the Lord confused the people with different languages. In this way, He scattered them all over the world." The reason that I... That's great. That's great.

The reason why I want to read this, I have been so fired up all day, like, not even believing what I was reading, because I feel like, I mean, it literally says, God Himself says, come, let's go down and confuse the people with different languages. God Himself came down to earth, and I feel like people have the wrong idea about God, because of prosperity gospel and this whole thing that God is just going to favor you and bless you and all this stuff, but really His mercy and His kindness is destroying what's in your life. That's right. Because He won't have to destroy you then. So instead of destroying the humans, he destroyed what they were doing and what they were building. And I think one of the reasons I was freaking out while I was reading this was because they

were doing all this stuff, all this idolatry, all this prideful. And I'm not saying that idolatry in a relationship is prideful, but this story specifically, they were building a city that was wrong. It was idolatry. It was all out of order. And God came down and destroyed all of it, dispersed them all over the earth, and said, I'm done with this. I'm not letting you build this. And I think, again, because of prosperity gospel, a lot of us, and I think I almost want to like repent in a way, not repent, Ari and I have been open from the very beginning that we are learning as we go, and maybe in our opinions change over time and the way

we see faith changes. And I think that we've probably at times sent a message that is true in a lot of cases, that like, yeah, sometimes that guy broke up with you because God has something better for you. Sometimes relationships end because it's not God's best for you, and that's definitely a reality. And I think that sometimes we do things that cause destruction in our lives. And I think it's really like a point of maturity for us to realize that not everything is just God being like, I have better for you.

There's like consequences to the actions that we don't even know are wrong. And I just feel like this is so good for people to understand that if there's any idolatry in your relationship, God will come down Himself to burn it to the ground. And what I think is so interesting here is it said, come, let's go down and confuse the people with different languages, then they won't be able to understand each other. And I know, for example, with John and I, any time that there's been misplaced expectation where he's

wanted more from me or I've wanted more from him than we should be expecting from one another, if there's ever been a point where we have put one another above God in our own hearts, the one thing that happens is miscommunication. So I think it's so interesting, he said, come let's go down and confuse people with different languages and they won't be able to understand each other. Could that be a result of idolatry? Because communication is like the basis of human connection and that when there's idolatry, when there's misplaced identity, misplaced attachment, like it's just, we're too attached

in a way that's not healthy. And then the communication gets mixed up and now we don't even know you're speaking, but I'm not understanding and vice versa. Do you know what I mean? It was never meant to be like that. Right. It's just all confusing and it's like idolatry leads to confusion and destruction. And yeah, I was freaking out about this, about this scripture, this passage today, because

I'm like, this is what happens when you idolize something, it leads to demise of the relationship. And like, I think idolatry and relationships feels good, because it feels like safety, it feels like connection, but it's not real. Anxious attachment isn't real. It's instant gratification of it rather than surrender, right? Yeah, 100%. Because it's, yes, exactly, because you're getting what you need in a moment rather than letting it build slowly over time.

Yeah, that's so good. Isn't that crazy? And then the one thing I wrote down about that was they were trying to build unity without God, relying on their own strength. You and I can't unify with one another without Jesus. And that's what idolizing a relationship does. You try so hard to get close and hang on to each other, as opposed to letting Jesus set a firm and calm foundation for a relationship.

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You ever watch the movie of Babylon? No, is there a movie? Is that with Margot Robbie? Yeah. No. It's really demonic. Is it? Yeah.

What is it like? It's a crazy movie. Is it worth watching? You guys, I love Margot Robbie. She's just like. Yes, you are her. She's my favorite actress and I just think she's so, I just love her. You just like her? I am. Yeah you

are. I swear. You look like her. And you look like Stephanie Icke. It's her favorite compliment. You trying to guess here? So how are you, how are you? So how are you feeling right now? You know, sometimes I wish I could just ask Gant questions the whole time and just sit back. No, I'm really wondering, how do you feel right now? I feel amazing. My heart's amazing. I wrote in my notes, I ask God for safety and to help me

so we removed everything from my life that I didn't think I could live without. That's what we just read. Yeah, no, this is my whole story. Idolatry is my whole testimony. It is that and sin are the two things that save my life, and it's the two things that I'm most passionate about on my journey when I preach, because they're the two things that absolutely saved my life. Getting rid of them.

Getting rid of sin and idols. And it's so funny, my sister just asked me this the other day, because my sister's 24 and she's like, if you could go back to being 24, what would you change? And I was like, well, that I met Jesus a lot earlier, but it feels like my 20s went like this because I couldn't think straight because I made relationships and jobs and everything,

such idols that I couldn't think all day. I was like, I let life pass me by because my whole identity was in men, was in all these things. Totally. Because I felt so unsafe. I felt no peace. I felt like I needed to be this.

I felt like I needed my identity to be in this person, to feel whole. And, you know, so yeah, so I share this with you guys a lot, but everything I thought I couldn't live without, God completely stripped it all away from me. That story I can relate to so much because He literally, like you said, He doesn't destroy you, but He destroys everything around you, and that's what He did. He took away the career that I thought I couldn't live without.

He took away that person that I thought I would be nothing without. And I just made idols out of everything in my life. My whole life. You know, I made an idol out of being a wife. If I'm not married by 31 or 32, I'm gonna be nothing. My time is gonna be up. If I'm not a mother by

33, my biological clock is done, everyone's going to look at me crazy. I just lived in such fear, and that was what had my heart. Relationships, marriage, children, honestly up until recently. Yeah. And God is just, it's so funny how God is. He's like, who said that you have to be a mother at 31? And who said that you have to get married at this age? And also who said that you have to be in a relationship? And that's why I love the story of Moses. He's like, I am. It's not you that justifies when your time clock and how things should be.

It's me. I am. This is how God is. And if I can tell you guys anything, and I believe he put me in this position, in my 30s, single, because you look at every single, well, most Christians, and they're all married so young, and that's a beautiful thing. I think marriage and relationships and children are God's creation, and it's the most beautiful thing ever, and I cannot wait and I yearn for it. But let me tell you, I believe God put me in this place to show you, listen, stop putting a time on your life. It's not you, it's me.

And there's things I have to work out and do in your life before I can do that. So my journey has been my single season. And so many of us feel, I talked about this in the waiting season, so many of us feel like it's such a curse. And it's such a blessing and it's such a blessing. Because I look back at my life and I made such an idol, like I couldn't think straight. My whole identity was in another person. I put everything on that other person.

I feel like without it, I would be nothing. I had so much baggage that you're not supposed to put on another person. It's supposed to be with Jesus. And as a woman in my 30s, I can say this so confidently, and I say this, if you feel like you cannot live without a person, if you feel like without a person, you can't do it, you just feel unsafe, you freak out. That is a clear sign that you actually need to be alone. Hallelujah. And I mean that with my whole heart,

because if you don't feel good alone, you are gonna have so many issues in your relationship. You just are, it's a fact, I know it, I've lived it. This isn't something I'm, like this is something I've truly lived this past two and a half years. And so, yeah, this has been my journey and I found myself, like I don't wanna self-deprecate because I think this is an episode for me

where I can truly say that I have overcome idolatry, and I am so pleased with myself. And I said this again in the waiting season, but I can wake up in such peace. And I found myself the other day looking up to God and being like, Lord, if you never bring me anyone, and I mean this with my whole heart as I say this today, if you never bring me anyone, and I mean this with my whole heart as I say this today, if he never brings me a person, a marriage, or whatever, it's okay because I have Jesus. And I know this is safety, and I yearn for it, and I want a child, and I want a husband so badly.

I look at you girls, and I want a husband so badly. I look at you girls and I'm like, so beautiful. But I am telling you, I know what true freedom and peace looks like because he made me feel so uncomfortable and put me in a position of being like, you are not gonna need anything anymore. And I don't care what anybody says. I don't care how many people look at you and say, oh, you're not married in your 30s and you don't have a child. No, I don't. But you

know what? I can wake up and feel really good. And most people can't do that. And so I think, um, yeah, I think I guess after I got really uncomfortable my relationship with you. I remember feeling like oh my gosh Like I say that again like my really my friendship with you. I just like love you so much and After my breakup me and you were just like this and I definitely There was idolatry in our friendship I knew that there was such idolatry when you got in a relationship with John

and I was like, oh my gosh, my life is over. And I really felt like that at one point. I was like, what am I gonna do? Like, I can't live without her. She's gonna leave me, she's gonna, and I'm like, wait a minute, this isn't healthy. This is starting to feel like how I felt in my last relationship.

And so I went through this whole journey of like a lot, like her and I went through a lot, if you don't mind me saying that. And I think that's normal. It's so normal. And I think you and I are really special case because we were, I mean, we have everything together. We do it.

It was like for both of us. And even being the one who got in the relationship, I mean, that's what will expose so much idolatry. Like I got into a relationship and I was like, I thought my life was over. And even though I was getting into this, like, I don't know if it was any easier being the one who was in the relationship because I was like, I don't, I literally was like, I don't know who I am outside of this friendship. And it was like, it's been one of the craziest things for both of us because we both have

attacked this, right? We are not sitting in the, like, we're not okay with it. We know that like our identity shouldn't be, because it was Ari and Ange for so long. It was Ari and Ange. And Babylon will fall. And Babylon did. And it did. And then we're both left with like,

okay, so who am I by myself? So it was like crazy for both of us. It was so, so hard. It was. Did you know the liver is the second largest organ in your body, responsible for over 500 essential functions? Yeah, over 30% of Americans have a sluggish liver without even knowing it. And that's why DOS is stepping up to put liver health front and center.

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Taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. Oftentimes, like when I see people at the end of themselves with like, I don't know, when a friendship moves on into a relationship or they get everything taken, they lose a job, they lose a relationship. I'm like, oh, this isn't the goodness of God.

Bad boy, he came down and destroyed it out of his mercy. Yeah. Like you guys don't understand. I was actually met up with a friend recently and she looked at me because I went home. I'm't understand. I was actually met up with a friend recently and she looked at me because I went home. I'm just kidding. That's what we do. We eat there, we have other friends.

But you know, she's like, do you see anyone blah blah blah? And I was like, no, just hanging with family. And she's like, I don't know who I'm sitting across from. Like she really couldn't even recognize me. And that's what happens when you go into the season of just destroying all those idols.

Yes, having a partner is beautiful. It's not everything. But society has made it like, if you're not married by this time, if you don't have a partner, you're different. Like it's crazy. Yeah, I know. Society is idolatry.

Like the media, what they think is important, what they say is important. Thinking that you decide when your life is supposed to happen is complete idolatry. And I'm telling you, if I had anything sooner, I would not be sitting here today being able to help and have a family with you guys. I wouldn't. If I was married, if I was anywhere else. So, I just, seriously, it's just, we are so stressed all the time.

We're so, like, the devil wants to keep us stressed and busy and not being able to function. And that was never how it was meant to be. Totally. And so I will tell you that I have spent years and years in my life and anyone that's listening to me, that is in their twenties that are sitting here being like, I don't have this, I'm not married.

I'm not, it is, you are wasting your life. Please rest in the fact. Just look at my story. And my story is not your story. We all have different stories. But I just know that God, the way he redeems time, his plans, this isn't prosperity gospel, but boy, the way he redeems and he will tear down things. And there were consequences for my actions, like my heartbreak that I could, I had grieved over for so long, like just the repercussions of everything that,

staying too long and all this stuff and making an idol for so long. I did have consequences, but when I did finally go like this and not put the band-aid on and keep going from person to person, and I really, like, God has really put me into this, a season of singleness that would, what feel like someone would never, like my friend just said to me the other day, I would never be able to be in that long of a single season. But you know what?

Me neither. I mean, but this is- God knew. I'm just kidding. But it's, I can't, I'm just telling you, if you feel like so weary and I've been single for so long, I'm there with you and every day, I swear, last week I said, oh, that's why I don't have someone. Like he refines you and he refines you.

And we think that, no, no that no no it's time it's time who are we to say that yeah so just keep being obedient and surrendering daily be in communion with jesus daily and that's all you have to do you've you've done your task you've done your job if you are doing that, he is working. So good. He is in communion with you. Should we talk about what it's like, like signs that a relationship has become an idol?

I think that's so important for us to really tell you guys what it is, because you might not even know. I didn't know. I didn't know why I felt certain ways in relationships or friendships. I didn't know. I didn't know why I felt certain ways in relationships or friendships. I didn't know why I had anxiety. Like idolatry will lead to so much anxiety. It'll lead to anxious attachment, codependency. Like you will show up. Like Ari's talking about having idolatry outside of a relationship. Let's talk about idolatry in a relationship.

You show up as literally the worst version of yourself because you're expecting things that your person can't give you, that they're not supposed to give you, that only Jesus should give you. And one of my favorite things, Scripture, is Jeremiah 17, 5. This is what the Lord says, cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the Lord. So you're cursed if you put your trust in a person. If you try to draw strength from flesh, from another human,

and if your heart turns away from the Lord, which is what happens when you idolize somebody, there is no, I want to let you guys know that even one degree off, you've already went over the edge. Yeah. That's the thing with this. And some people might hear us and be like, they're legalistic, they're religious, that's too intense. At Girls Gone Bible, we are 100% all in with Jesus here because we know, first of all, that Jesus deserves it, the Lord deserves it, and second, it's the best thing for you.

Why would you not want to have thriving whole relationships? And the only way you can truly do that is if Jesus is number one. And when Jesus is number one, you want to be your healthiest self when you enter a relationship. We're all gonna have baggage. We're never gonna be perfect. But wouldn't you want to go into something where you are your healthiest self, that you don't have to throw all these things

on another person? Totally. And if you are in a relationship and you're like, I'm not the healthiest or whatever, like today's a great day to start. You can do that when you're in a relationship, by the way. No, and I'm not saying that you said whatever, like today's a great day to start. You can do that when you're in a relationship. No, and I'm not saying that you said that they were, yeah. You can still, it doesn't mean leave the relationship.

Yeah. Just know that I need help. I need to be more with Jesus more than this relationship. All right guys, I'm gonna be super honest. I've spent so much money over the years trying to fix my skin and hair. Acne, frizz, dullness, weird breakouts, you name it. I was trying every product on the shelf and then I realized I never thought about the water I was showering in.

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This is a sign that your relationship has become an idol, that your sense of worth depends on that person. You feel empty or lost without their approval, and you constantly seek affirmation from them instead of God. I know that you and I can both relate to this, where we're seeking somebody else's approval more than we're seeking God's approval. And like, I mean, it's just, it's plain. Like it's very obvious why that is so destructive, because a person's never going to validate

you enough. They're never going to tell you a human's words while they might be encouraging. They never feed you the way that God's words will. No. Ever. Even if someone tells you that you're the most amazing person in the world 30 times a day, it won't satisfy you. It doesn't. I've tried it. Yeah, I know.

You know? Yep. Can I read a couple more? You fantasize more about marriage than intimacy with God. Oh, that's so good. You expect them to fulfill emotional needs only God can meet. Oh, you feel like you can't move forward without them we talked about. And this is my biggest one because this is what so many of us do. You ignore red flags because you're more afraid of being alone

than outside of God's will. Wow. Oh, oh. You fear losing them more than you fear being outside of God's will. You avoid obedience to God if it means risking the relationship. Yeah. This is crazy. risking the relationship. Yeah, this is crazy. Another way is that you believe they complete you. Instead of seeing them as a partner, you see them as your source of wholeness. Yep. And people don't complete you. It's so crazy. I think what I've noticed a lot, what's interesting about being in a relationship is a lot of things that take place in marriage. Like your husband or wife, your spouse doesn't complete you, but there is an element where like two become one and you're in covenant and you're in a relationship that you will never be in outside of marriage. Like it's

the only covenantal relationship in that way where two people become one flesh. And when you're in marriage, being each other's comfort is amazing. Like, God wants that so much. He wants us to be, that's what the devil tries to destroy, that intimacy, that comfort, that like union. But in dating, which is what I've noticed is so weird, is like, you feel things for one another that are okay in marriage But they're not okay in dating. Yeah, you know, so it's like an interesting We should do a whole episode on dating because it's an interesting dance. Yeah It's an interesting dance when you're dating because it's like you're not married

Yeah, it's just I don't remember what it... Can I tell you one thing? I'm serious. Listen to this. I almost feel like God has wiped the memories. I don't even remember what dating is. It's crazy. Can you teach me? Yeah, I would love to. Can we do a whole episode on it?

That's so... But isn't that beautiful? I forget all my old relationships too. I forget, you forget everything. I don't forget everything, but I feel like he's healed my mind so much. And I think you think you're never gonna be healed from a heartbreak, but he heals it so much.

And it almost comes so suddenly. Like I found myself, I said this to you, and I said this when I was driving in Boston, I was like, you healed my heart, holy Lord. Like, I feel like I'm fully healed. Like, it's been a lot of years. And I feel like now I'm really healed. Wow.

Thank you, Jesus. But I think it just comes so suddenly where you never think you're going to get healed, and all of a sudden, he just starts healing you, your heart, the memories, everything. It's crazy. When you told me, I know he's, it's crazy. You've been, yeah. I don't know why you survived. No, he literally, that's what he does and he renews the mind and restores everything and changes everything, changes everything,

changes memories. Like, you go to a place that used to hurt you and it doesn't hurt anymore. Okay, that's the best feeling, isn't it? This happened to me recently to a couple places. I go, it doesn't hurt. Wow. I know. This is the greatest gift for people to watch in real time.

It's crazy. If I can heal from what I healed from, you can too. I'll just give you that. I'm so proud of you. Well, because you let Him. A lot of people don't let Him. You gotta let Him. And let's be really honest, some people never let Him. You partnered with Him. It didn't happen by accident. You gotta do it with just Jesus. You did every right thing, every step of obedience, blind faith. You didn't even know what this whole thing was and you were head first in it. So impressive.

I love you. Shut up. Shut up! Keep going. And then, oh, I don't have any more of those. Do you have any more? Well, I wrote down some things that you can do. Yeah.

Acknowledge it, No healing starts without honesty. Oof. You gotta be honest. So smart. Understand. We don't have to sit there in the shame of how, oh my gosh, I've made an idol and I'm just awful. Acknowledge it. Honesty. Yeah, I like that you said no shame. It's okay. We all do it. We did it my whole lives. Don't worry.

I just had an idol the other day, anxiety. Good point, anxiety. By the way, anxiety is a big idol. I just wanna let you know. Huge, huge, so good. I thought I was this woman full of faith. Oh no, no, little health issue came up. Poof, anxiety took over me for a week.

I couldn't even think straight. So, yeah. Build habits that put God first daily. At a sermon the other day, He said, every day you wake up, you say, who is gaining my heart today? I love that He said that. Who's gaining my heart today? What's the first thing on my mind? Is it that person? Is it whatever? I mean, I know this is on relationships, but is it my phone? Is it being an influencer? Is it that job? Like, who's gaining my heart today? And so, that prayer of honesty of just being like,

I don't want that to gain my heart today, Lord, help me with that, you know? 100%. And I said the same thing, repent and realign. Repent and realign. Acknowledge to God that you've placed the person above Him. Every single day I say, Lord, I repent for idolizing this anxiety. You know that something is an idol when you're thinking about it more than Jesus. When I'm really anxious about something, when I'm in pain, when I'm really sad and that thing is above Jesus, I'm thinking or talking about

that thing more than I am Jesus. If I'm worrying about something more than I am praying about it, it's an idol and not in like a weird religious way. It's not like you're going to burn up in flames. It's just you you acknowledge it, and then you repent for giving them a place in your heart that only belongs to God. And the biggest thing for me is you let people in. You're honest and you have accountability. I've been talking to leaders and mentors recently just about, like, and a therapist of being like, this is my greatest, this is my weakness,, is like I put people where they don't belong, I let my identity get attached to people and it hurts me.

And then things are out of alignment and they're out of order and it doesn't feel good and the communication is off. And yeah, I think something that I really wanted to talk to you guys about, so you repent, you realign, like Ari and I said, and then you just put God in His rightful place, and you do that with belief, and you do that with language. You do that in the secret place. You spend extended amounts of time with Jesus,

where if you were to hang out with a person, you were to hang out with your boyfriend or girlfriend or friends, you choose to spend more time with Jesus. If you would usually talk to your friend at night and you feel like you're idolizing that friendship, spend that time talking to Jesus instead. I wrote down these three things that were really, really important to me. This is idolatry and sometimes we don't even know it, and this isn't necessarily about like people, but I want us to remember that God is the provider, the job isn't the provider. He provided the job. The job didn't just provide the money. God provided the job that

provided the money. And I think that we can oftentimes, even in our language, I feel like what's so important is that we be careful with our language. Like the things we say are so important because the more you say them, the more they build within your own heart and you realize like you do believe your job is giving you money. When instead of being like, oh, I love that I have this job, I love that I have this money, I love that I have this career, like God gave you this job, thank you. God gave you this job, God gave you that career, God can take it at any time. He is the provider. Idolatry is ever thinking that something or somebody else is providing for you. idolatry is ever thinking that something or somebody else is providing for you. God is the healer, not even medications.

I think sometimes people will take a medication or take something in there and they might be healed or a surgery. And I know that this is really specific, but I think if you begin at like a deep, deep level, even in your language, of putting God where He belongs, that the medicine did not heal you. And this might be tricky, but like, fertility treatments didn't give you a baby. Jesus gave you a baby. You know, it's like that slight, you're just one degree off. And sometimes God in His wisdom gives medication and gives IVF treatments and gives surgeries and like, you see Him work like that all the time, but it's Him.

It is always Him. And last one, the Holy Spirit is the Comforter, not a person. And so for me, we're talking about what you can do in my friendships and in my relationships. What I've learned the most in the past few weeks is that I feel a sort of entitlement to the people in my life, that if I'm feeling anything, they need to hear what I'm feeling and they need to comfort me in it. And the people in my life want nothing more than to do that for me. They love that.

But it's not good for me, and it's not good for them. So what I have committed myself to is letting the Holy Spirit be my comfort. Ari's not my comfort, John's not my comfort, my mom's not my comfort. The Holy Spirit is my comforter, and I have to go to him first. And so, I've been doing exercises where I would want to, and I'm not saying isolate yourself by any means. You know when you need someone, and then you also know when you can invite God in first. Like, I am purposefully, in times where I would hang out with Ari, or in times... I have been having things where I've had plans with friends, and I've felt the Lord be like,

will you hang out with me tonight? Spend time with me. And that breaks FOMO, that breaks codependence, that breaks idolatry with friends. And like, even with John, like, we love talking on the phone at night. I've given my nights to Jesus, where I'm spending all night with Him before I go to bed. So it's little decisions, little things. And the last thing I wrote is, space is good. Space is really good. Space is really good.

If you're in a relationship and you're maybe a little codependent, maybe a little anxious attachment, you're super attached to somebody which is beautiful. Space can feel like the scariest thing in the world because you think in space they'll forget about you, they'll stop loving you, they'll for some reason realize that you're not the one and they don't want to be. There's something about closeness and like super nearness that makes us feel comfortable. But true love, true love allows distance.

True love is strengthened in distance because it gives you clarity. And so I just want to encourage anybody who's watching who feels there's been a bit of idolatry in your relationships, you know that that person has more of your heart than they should. I encourage you to take space, to take a two-day fast where you don't talk to them, to take a week where you don't call them every hour, and take a week where you don't talk to them on the phone before night time, because that space will give you so much clarity and you will actually grow closer to the person. You'll have better communication.

My heart is so intense for this because I know that I don't believe that there's just one soulmate, right? I don't believe that all of us have one soulmate and if you miss that person, you've missed your soulmate. I don't think it works like that. I think that God blesses free choice. I think you get to choose who you're friends with and you get to choose who you're married to. And we get to decide if we want to have an amazing relationship with someone

or if we want to let idolatry cause chaos in our relationships. And if that's happened to you in the past, that's totally okay. And this doesn't mean like you mess something up by any means. God blesses mistakes. God blesses your future. God takes those things and uses them as a lesson. If you're in a situation where you're like, oh my gosh, I did that in a relationship. I ruined it. I idolized that. That's not what's happening right now. The Lord has that as like a picture and a reference to be like, this is what we're not going to do for the future. There's nothing wasted. There's nothing lost. I've made massive mistakes in my life and they don't get to affect me forever. That's what redemption

is. So yeah, I would just say space is good. Take space. Give yourself, let you and your person, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, or even your spouse, your friends, let yourselves operate out of freedom, not anxious attachment, not codependency, not idolatry where you have to have one another. And if it doesn't work out, you're going to die. No, this is what true surrender looks like. And maybe we'll do an episode on surrender. I would love that. Yeah, where you allow yourself, I'm going to take a step back, which sounds like the scariest thing in the world. But if you're listening right now and you feel like there's idolatry in your relationship, this is your invitation, your permission to take a step back. Take space, allow yourself a few days, maybe even

a few weeks. And I'm telling you, if that person is the person for you, even a few weeks of not talking to each other or not talking to each other or hanging out that much, it's not going to create distance where the love is lost. And if that happens, as scary as that is, thank God that you have that answer. You don't want to be in a situation that goes on years because you held on so tightly that you should never have to hold on too tightly to something ever. If it's for you, you don't have to hold on tight. Yeah. You don't. You really don't. Absolutely right. I'm reading the book of Jeremiah, which I love, but I just thought it's so he's just such a he's jealous for our love. He's so jealous. He

doesn't want to share us. Yeah. Yeah. Anything that he brings is added, but it's not, this is why he does the things that he does. But I was reading in Jeremiah this morning. Morning. Morning. I mean, it's just like, I'm not going to read the whole thing, but it's like, he just goes on and on because they were so disobedient. And he was like, I remember how eager you were to please me and how you loved me and you followed me and I was

there for you through your barren wilderness and now you worship worthless idols and only to become worthless yourselves. And then he's just like crying out, like you can just feel his fury and you feel his anger through all these pages of Jeremiah and like the results of their sin. And then, and then all of a sudden I read this because I was like, oh my gosh, he's so angry, like he's destroying everything around them, you know? And this is Jesus, and this is what he did in my own life, through everything that got destroyed. He writes, oh my faithless people, come home to me again. That's what he says. He says, come home to me again, for I am merciful and I will not be angry with you forever.

Only acknowledge your guilt. Admit that you rebelled against the Lord and committed adultery against me by worshipping idols. Confess it and just return home, you wayward children, for I am your master." That's what you've got to do. Just repent, repent, repent. Now is a really good time to say, Lord, after we end this episode, you get on your knees and just write a list of the things that you have idolized, the things that are on the throne of your heart that aren't Jesus. Isaiah 44 22, return to me, for I have paid the price to set you free.

And my pastor, Darren, said this over the weekend about Babylon. Where did it go? If we idolize anything, Babylon lives in our hearts, and Babylon will fall. Yeah. It is the mercy and the grace of God that Babylon falls in our hearts, that whatever we idolize, He will tear it down. But the beautiful thing is that we get to partner with God, and this is like a really kind warning about idolatry. And if there is something in your life that you have

are idolizing, but you love it and you know it's good, there are steps that we can take to get it off the throne. I'm taking all the steps, Ari is taking all the steps to get everything off the throne and to put Jesus back where He belongs. He's the source of comfort. He's the source of safety. He's the source of life. And Lord, we repent for anything and everything that is on the throne. That's not You. And we invite You, God, to tear down every bit of idolatry in our lives in Jesus' name. Don't let us have it, God. Let us get away with nothing.

Jesus, make us the most mature in Christ as we can be. Maturize even more. Do not let us, do not let us have any bit of idolatry in Jesus' name. I love it. I love you. I love you, dog. Thank you guys so much. We're going to remind you, God felt like spoke to me and said, every episode, you better tell people, you say, girl's gone Bible, read your Bible, get into community groups, study it, read it, live it, breathe it.

In Jesus' mighty name. In Jesus' name. In Jesus' name. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May He make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. May He turn His face towards you and give you peace. Shalom. Shalom. Shalom. We love you.