Girls Gone Bible - Megan Fate | Girls Gone Bible

Episode Date: April 10, 2026

Hiiii GGB! this week, we have a very special guest-- our friend, Megan Fate Marshmann. we tell the story of how she is divinely connected to Angela's getting sober 6 years ago and she gives us so much wisdom and leads us directly into the heart of Jesus. get your tissues ready. we love you so much. Jesus loves you more. -Ang & Ari ORDER OUR NEW BOOK! You can order our new book "Out of the Wilderness— 31 Devotions to Walk with God Through Your Hardest Seasons" at girlsgonebible.com/book (http://girlsgonebible.com/book) JOIN US ON GGB+ 🥹❤️ https://ggb.supportingcast.fm (https://ggb.supportingcast.fm) COME SEE US ON TOUR: Tickets for our tour are now on sale. Go to www.GirlsgoneBible.com/tour (http://www.girlsgonebible.com/tour) WE LOVE YOU AND CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOU! Dose Daily A daily wellness beverage crafted with adaptogenic mushrooms for energy and mental clarity. Save 35% on your first subscription at DoseDaily.co/GGB using code GGB NOCD Personalized, evidence-based therapy for OCD from licensed professionals. Schedule a free 15-minute call with their team at https://learn.nocd.com/ggb (https://learn.nocd.com/ggb) Brodo Nourish your body with slow simmered, nutrient rich bone broth made from real, high quality ingredients. A simple, comforting way to support gut health, skin, and overall wellness. Get 20% off your first subscription plus an additional $10 off with code GGB at Brodo.com/GGB. Grand Canyon University Earn your degree online or on campus with programs designed to fit your life. Enroll today and find your purpose at GCU.edu/MyOffer (http://GCU.edu/MyOffer). Hiya Health Say goodbye to sugar-filled kids' vitamins. Hiya is a pediatrician-approved, clean multivitamin your kids will actually want to take. Get 50% off your first order at hiyahealth.com/GGB (https://hiyahealth.com/GGB). Hosanna Revival Beautiful, thoughtfully designed Bibles and faith-based tools to help you stay rooted in the Word and deepen your relationship with God. Use code GGB at HosannaRevival.com for 15% off. Ladder App A science-backed supplement system designed to support performance, recovery, and daily wellness with high-quality ingredients you can trust. Start your free 7-day trial with no credit card at Ladder.fit/GGB and get $10 off your first month when you join with our link. PolicyGenius Easily compare life insurance options and secure your family's future today. Get started at PolicyGenius.com/GGB. Yappy Bracelets Meaningful, faith-based bracelets designed to remind you of what matters most. Simple, wearable pieces that carry intention and purpose every day. Get 15% off your order at YappyBracelets.com/GGB

Guys, have you ever been in a relationship and kept having unwanted doubts like, do I love them enough? Am I really happy? What if God has someone better for me? And those questions felt impossible to ignore? And suddenly you're repeatedly praying for certainty or signs, constantly comparing your relationship to others, asking friends what they think over and over. But you can't find peace no matter what you try. Unwanted relationship doubts can feel so real and scary.

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And I'm Ari. And this is Girls Gone Bible. We are a faith-based podcast where we talk. talk all things, spirituality, mental health, the Bible. And today, we have such a special guest. There is a massive story behind this meeting, this friendship. We have Megan Fait Marshman, our friend, a preacher, a pastor, a disciple. We love you, Megan. Thank you for being with us. Oh, it's so good to be here. I thought that your middle name was Fite. Sounds fancier. It's a little French, huh? And I said, I know.

that this, I bet it's fate, but I keep saying Feté, so it's fate. You could go either way. Megan Fetteat, Marshman. That's what I thought. Wow. I can't believe it. I actually can't. I'm having a hard time believing it.

Well, yesterday. But I'm gonna. We're on the podcast. That's a burst. Megan Fetai. Yeah, yeah. Thank God I didn't introduce her. Megan Fettee.

I can't see it. Okay, so we have actually, this is our second time. filming because the first time we filmed, things got messed up and we weren't able to finish the episode. So we are doing a round two today. But since the last time we saw you, something really special has happened. Yes. You're engaged. I am engaged. Congratulations. Thank you. So exciting. It is. Oh, man. So interesting because it's, I'm aware of who's listening and there's some people that know the full story that hear this and other people who go like, oh. And I'm just, it's so, It's so wild because when we meet people for the first time, whether it's on a podcast or just in life,

sometimes we want to give the full context, right? I want to give like the full context. And yet at the same time, the full context can be draining or full of grief, which mine happens to be. And yet what I've come to find is my willingness to go deeper and expand deeper allows the joys to actually be richer and fuller. So when you say like, oh, you've got engaged, there's a fullness and a richness. Obviously, hopefully, anyone that's getting engaged. That would be amazing. But the depth of story just makes it feel different.

Wow. You are so special. Okay. We're going to get into all of that. We have so much to get into and so much. You guys have no idea. Megan is one of the wisest women that I've ever met. Being in your presence is calming.

You literally wrote a book called Relaxed, Walking with the One Who's Worried about nothing, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. You just have such a presence about you. The peace of God follows you into every room that you walk into. So this story is really special. As a lot of you guys know, I am six years sober.

I just turned six years sober on Thanksgiving last year. And I'll be coming up on seven years this Thanksgiving. And what is so special about this story, as a lot of you guys know, is I was dating my ex, Jake, at the time. And we happened to go to Jake's family's house for Thanksgiving, and there was no alcohol at this Thanksgiving party. So what did I do at the time? I brought a little alcohol in my bag to bring the party with me.

Obviously, this is way before I'm saved. And I remember being at this house. And I had grown up with Jesus, but I hadn't at that point really encountered him since I was probably a kid. And so I remember sitting around this Thanksgiving table and the family said grace. and I hadn't been around a family saying grace at the dinner table in a long time. And I go home that night, well, while I'm still at my ex's aunt's house, he basically finds me drinking. He finds it in my bag. I was devastated about it.

I was devastated. We go home that night and he basically gives me an ultimatum and says, I don't want to be with you. If you're going to keep drinking, I'm not going to watch you do this to yourself. And I remember that night, and I've told the story so many times, I received supernatural deliverance from alcohol. And whenever I tell this story, I say to myself, oh, it was because I was praying with Socrates for six months. And that's what got me free. That's what led to that one moment of freedom. And while that's the truth, I forgot one key part because Megan, you preached at my pastor Darren's Church Garden. And I was on tour. This was last year. I was on tour. It was a Sunday morning and I was watching church online in my hotel room. You came on the screen and I'm literally watching you preach. And then I remember, oh my gosh, Megan Faint Marshman. That's Jake's cousin. And then I go, oh my gosh, I was with Megan Faint Marshman and their Christian family on Thanksgiving. Oh my gosh, I was in a spirit-filled home. The day I got sober.

Could it be, I literally all of this was happening all at the same time and I go, Lord, could it be that yes, those six months of prayer led to that moment of breakthrough? But I was in a spirit-filled environment, go home and literally break free from alcoholism in one moment. She then reaches out to me and everything clicks for me too. Yes, let's hear your side. Because my cousin Jake, before you reached out to me had told me, hey, remember that? A girlfriend of mine that I brought to Thanksgiving, and I'm like, yeah, because I can actually remember you on Thanksgiving. He goes, she started like a Christian podcast.

Like, she went Christian. And I was like, really? And he goes, yeah, and I think it's like doing really well. And I'm like, and in my mind, I'll be honest. Yeah, please be honest. I was like, I bet she started a cute little podcast. I bet it's doing really well. And her aunt and mom all watch weekly.

I bet it's going so well and I have no idea until you send a voice memo to me after that garden message and how cool. My mind right now is jumping to a story through a streams video. There's

an organization called streams that puts out videos and there's this one story of a guy who goes to a barber shop and starts just a normal conversation with his barber and long story short by the end of it the barber goes, dude, what you don't know is I was about to take my life after work today. But then you sat in

my chair. And the way the guy is talking about the encounter, he goes, I didn't even bring up the name of Jesus. I was just getting my hair cut. I think the reason I bring that up is it reminds me of we have no idea who it is that we bring as a Christ follower. Whether it was me a culmination of my family, just we have no idea what we bring into an environment. We bring the presence of God. And so anyone listening in who's forgotten, I want to remind you. Of course, do we want to be intentional? Of course. Have I been trying to talk with Jake about the things of Jesus for our entire lives that I've known him? Yes. And I remember you sitting there. I remember. I remember you not being fully present. And yet, parts of what people love about you were there. And I now love

getting to witness you full of the spirit, full of the presence of God, because how God crafted you, before you acknowledged him by name or not, was there. You were so cute. You were open then, you were willing then. You were curious then. You were drunk. Then. You couldn't hide it. I didn't? No. I thought I was. I really thought I was slick.

I was so interesting. I think, I remember another story. My sister once got robbed the week of Christmas. Oh my gosh. Terrible. I know. Let me just jumping all around, but it'll make sense in about two minutes. And I remember all of her Christian friends, well-intended, like even myself included, like

texted. I'm so sorry when we found out, but her non-Christian neighbors showed up with gifts. And while not all of us Christians failed, there was a moment I'm sitting with my brother and I'm like, look at the non-Christian neighbors

showing up. And he goes, oh, they bear the image of God, whether they acknowledge it or not. And I'm like, wow. So the source, the foundation of your life shifted. It's evident. Your presence. shifted its evidence. Baring the image of God has it. It's just, because you always did,

it's just profound to watch what happens when you, and this is what I know about you, you continue to open every area of your life. You're never content just being as you are, which is fun because whether I see you five months ago or six years ago, we are constantly, and especially with the spirit in you, I think of Romans 829 that says, for those God four knew, he also predestined, not to get tripped up there. That's a long story. But, Basically, that whole chapter is about the spirit and the spirit versus the flesh that's within us. But for you, the Holy Spirit is clearly and evidently in you, which means Romans 829, those God foreknow, he also predestined. So the Spirit in you predestined you to be conformed to the image of his son.

So it's a thrill getting to see you and also know the sovereignty of God that he'll use all things. Yeah, he does. Even a mistake to bring you. Like, that's profound to me, but he's so good. He doesn't just use like the moment we turn. He actually can use what you use to define yourself by. He actually can use a mistake. He can use, this is profound to me.

He can use your literal hiding. Thank you, Jesus. Right? Like we're all hiding in some way, shape, or form. We're not much different than Adam Neve, right? Hiding and wanting to present the best version of ourselves. And you wanted to be free, right? And so you chose one way, and now you've found a different way.

And the freedom looks good on you. Thanks, Megan. My gosh. Oh, just even being in conversation. All right, guys, I had this moment the other day. We were just at the house, nothing crazy, and we caught ourselves looking around at everything. Our lives, the people we love, the routines we've built.

And we were like, wow, this didn't exist a few years ago. Like the life that we prayed for, one day you wake up and you're just living inside of it. And with that, we felt a weight. But not in a bad way. More like a responsibility. Like, we actually have something to protect. because we talk a lot about trusting God and we should, but there's also a part of us that's called to be wise and prepared. And that's why we love policy genius. It's a marketplace that helps you

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Take action. Find your purpose at GCU. private Christian affordable nonprofit visit gc u.edu to learn more one of the cutest things that i get to do with my niece is getting her hya when we got her her first hya bottle before anything she was so excited to decorate it like fully focused picking out the stickers deciding where everything goes it turned into this whole little moment and i think that's what we love about haia so much it doesn't feel like it's a take your vitamin moment it feels like something that she was actually excited about and then after that

it just becomes easy. No convincing, no back and forth. She actually enjoys it, which if you've ever been around kids, you know that's not always the case. And what stood out to us about Haya is that it's thoughtfully made. Zero sugar, no gummy additives, just clean ingredients, and something kids will actually take. And here's something every parent needs to hear. If getting your kids to eat vegetables feels like an impossible daily battle, Haya's new kids' daily greens and superfoods is a total game changer. It's basically just chocolate milk stuffed with veggies. It's a greens powder designed specifically for kids. kids that's packed with over 55 whole food sourced ingredients. Just mix one scoop with milk or a milk alternative and watch them actually enjoy something

that's secretly fueling their growing bodies. We've worked out a special deal for Haya for their best-selling children's vitamin. Receive 50% off your first order. To claim this deal, you must go to hiahealth.com slash GGB. This deal is not available on their regular website. Go to h-I-Y-A-H-E-A-L-T-H-H-G-B to get your kids the full-body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. With you, just ministers to our hearts immediately. Yeah, I remember so specifically, I don't remember much clearly, but I wasn't like wasted, but it was not great. Just that whole

time in my life was such a blur. And I remember though, because I had been talking to the man who disciples me, Socrates for six months, but I still wasn't like getting it. Like I, and it's, I didn't even necessarily know if I wanted it at that point. And I remember when I was a that relationship specifically when I look back I remember for the I always identified as a Christian or a Catholic but I remembered for the first time it was kind of like during 2020 during COVID when all of that stuff was happening in the world was weird and I was heavily influenced by Hollywood and social media and just whatever was going on in the world at that time I remember for the first time I go I don't really know if I believe in all that Jesus stuff like there's

science I remember distinctly like I had started saying stuff like that which I had never said in my life and then I remember when we're sitting around at Thanksgiving at your table you were leading us in prayer you specifically you were leading us in prayer we're saying grace I think you had us all go around the table and say what we were thankful for and I remember whoever I was sitting next to I turned to them and I go I was just so excited that someone was talking about Jesus and I remember turning and going yeah I'm a Christian it was like one of the first times in a long time that I had like identified and even spoke like I'm a Christian so

It's just such an insane story. I can't believe you're so divinely connected to all of this. Like literally, I do, I just put, I talk to Darren about it so much where I'm just like, that moment is so significant in my life, which means it's significant to our lives and to GGB. So thank you. Thank you for your life. Seriously. You have an amazing story and you've been through so much and you carry so much joy.

And Megan, if you could just tell us, you know, give us a little bit of backstory. So many people who watch us have gone through tremendous, profound loss. And Ari's been through a lot of loss. I've been through a little bit of loss. But I don't think either of us have experienced close to what you have. Can you just talk to us a little bit about your life, your ministry, your late husband, Randy, who I had the pleasure and honor of meeting. He was such a sweet, sweet man. Can you just get into it a little bit?

Yeah. Well, I'll start with what a lot of people do when it comes to loss, which is naturally you just did it. And I used to do it a lot. But I think it's really profound that we've all been through the hardest thing we've ever been through. Yes. So whether it's a little loss, a lot of loss, a lot. Like whatever degree, even anyone listening in, everyone has the hardest thing they've ever been through. Now, this would be mine, would be.

So we met in 2020. Oh, no, 2019. 19. And it would be about a little over a year later that my husband went to heaven unexpectedly with a heart attack in the middle of the night. And we have two little boys at the time, five and still in a crib, had just turned two,

and life flipped. And so again, even back to the intro of this whole session, it's, wow, so much has changed since I saw you last because you're engaged. I just made brief mention of it, but there's just something in me that the bottom of my life dropped out. And what I didn't know was what also dropped was my heart's capacity to, of course, experience pain and loss, but also to look to people and have the ability. I always put it this, I agree if you have this weird superpower that you would give back willingly. I think anyone that's been through it, you go, I'll, I'd just give back the superpower if I could, which, but since we can't, the superpower is this, that suddenly in loss, you stop caring about things that don't matter anymore. And you start carrying a whole heck of a lot about the things that do matter.

So having conversations, it's so funny, all the stuff that I could have in the past, been fearful of like bringing up or jumping into things like eternity or heaven or pain or sadness or trauma or grief or anxiety or any other thing that we all go through in the human experience. I have a super power. Thank you. I think I know I just really care about people finding God there. I care about them searching their heart to the depth of wherever. their life has dropped to and finding God there because he promises to be found.

One of my favorite promises in scriptures, Jeremiah 29, 13, which is two verses after the God speaking. I know the plans I have for you to the people who are in the middle of suffering, which is a few verses after he tells them stay in the heart. And then that plan that he has that's good and all that is going to be seven years later, which makes me laugh when we put that on graduation cards. But the promise is in 13, which says this, you will say. seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart and since losing randy i have accessed portions of my heart that i never knew were there and i feel a great privilege to be someone

whether it's vocationally but hopefully just in life that helps people access their heart too because what we find is if you seek god there you'll find him in some of the most places. You will find him in your grief if you seek him there. He promises to be found by you. In fact, he says it again in verse 14 of Jeremiah 29, which always makes me laugh. He says it twice, which means, I wonder if, by the way, that is the plan in 29-11 that we all talk about for any other plans I have for you, declares the Lord's plans, prosper, you ought to harm you plans, you'd be hope in the future. I wonder if all of that is just found and founding him there. And so suddenly just shifts a little bit of what we seek. And I'd say it ought to or it came,

shift what we seek everywhere. It shifts what we seek in our quiet time. Suddenly it's no longer like inspire me or make me feel better or even give me peace. Peace is amazing but it's an amazing byproduct. Not the goal. If you seek peace, you might be, you might critique every single thing in your life that doesn't give you peace. If you seek happiness, you will critique everyone and everything based on how happy it makes you. But the promises, if you seek to find God, you'll find what you're looking for. And this, this changes even the immediate conversation when you walk out of church from what'd you think. In other words, would you like, would you not like? Like that's just, you know, which song did you like? We naturally jump into that.

But the problem is it makes our seeking, like our appetite is based on what we like or what makes us feel challenged or comfortable or versus just, how'd you find God today? How did you find God this morning and then it suddenly shifts something that is findable and that's important for anyone whose life has bottomed out or it's important for anyone whose heart they don't understand and it all starts with an opening of the heart which is kind of cool because I know we had an interaction or like first times we crossed paths was when I really started to begin to study the heart and why it matters for us to search it because I like the way Proverbs 4 says it says above all else guard it guard your heart because everything you do flows from it in other words if you want to change

your life what you do actually have to access the heart you don't change your life by trying to change your life I relied so much on motivation and now I'm realizing oh searching my heart with God, acknowledging the grief, not ignoring it, acknowledging the insecurity, acknowledging, then I'm kind of bored in my quiet time, like acknowledging the truth, because that's the only place God's going to meet you. Okay. I am, wow. First, I want to go to, because I want to talk about how to truly search your heart,

what you're talking about, how to acknowledge it, but first, can we go back to you mentioned when your life bottoms out, seeking Jesus, not peace, seeking Jesus, not happiness, you open, can you just teach us how to do that? People want a practical way to have quiet time. How do you... Yeah, I'll give, in that season of my life, I went back to school, and I had a really neat homework assignment, and I'll get real practical because I think we need that. I needed that.

And so I know what I want, like, I want to seek the Lord. But I also know that I might not. Yeah. So what do you do? I know that I want to wake up and pray in solitude and silence for 45 minutes. I would love to do that. But sometimes I press snooze and I don't want to do that. Yeah.

But you know, so then I started to realize like, what am I going to do no matter what? And I feel like trigger, the term trigger gets this kind of funny rap because, of course, it like typically triggers us to pain or trauma or whatever. I was like, how can I use that even differently? So I was thinking about it. And then I got this homework assignment, which basically was to create rhythms and practices in my life. And so one thing I did is I went, you know what, I might forget to pray, but I definitely am not going to forget coffee. So as practical as this. Any time I pressed my coffee button, it was a trigger.

It's like redeeming the word. It was a trigger reminding me to pray. And then another thing I learned from Dr. John Coe, one of my professors, was one part of my prayer that I did that I found to be so helpful was this. do you ever have those moments in prayer when you like unintentionally like start performing and you're not meaning to especially like it's been a while since you've prayed and you're not trying to enter back in so you're God dear God thank you for this day course and thine is the kingdom and the glory you know you just don't know where to go all right guys I feel like discipline is one of those things that we talk so much about but actually living it out is different because you can want to take care of your body you can intend to show up but if you don't have a plan

it's really easy to fall off. And I've definitely had seasons like that where I'm going to the gym, I'm trying, but I'm just kind of piecing things together. And then you look up and you're like, why do I feel stuck? That's honestly what shifted for us when we started using the ladder app.

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And then maybe people can resonate with this. You have that moment when suddenly your mind just is somewhere else. Like is it wandering over there? And then you're there for like a minute and a half, top thinking about. And then there's that moment when you like realize I'm no longer. praying. And so here's so, so then what do you do then? Because typically what I used to do forever was, but you wandering and I'm hungry or, oh, that friend's met me. And what I would do

in that moment when I realized it was I would pause the prayer, shame myself back to the performance prayer that I thought he was proud of, and I'd start again. And so the question you asked was, how do you get to the heart? Here's the big surprise. My professor said, a wandering mind in prayer is a gift. Wow. And I was like, how so? And he goes, because where's your mind wandering to? Jesus put it this way. He said, where your treasure is there, your heart is.

So, and where's your mind? Isn't it wild that I'm assuming people listening in, some have trusted the Lord Jesus for eternal salvation from forgiveness of all sins? And yet the fact that they think that their friend is mad at them, they feel like they have to do that one all by themselves. Yeah. Or their taxes.

Or whatever consumes the mind, whatever gives the mind, whatever our mind jumps to, wherever our mind wanders to is communicating something to us. And so here's my encouragement when your mind begins to wander. And this was part of my spiritual discipline for a season. Well, this. Let it go. And then talk to him about that. And I would just wait there.

And then I would just let the best part about the whole, like, how do you seek out with all your heart? That's surprise in the whole thing. is that he's been seeking you the whole time. My friend Alan gave this illustration. He said, you know, my little daughter and I would walk down this busy street. We'd hold hands, and he goes, and I'd always tell her, hold my hand tight, hold my hand tight, grab my hand, hold my hand tight. And she would, and I'd remind her, and then she'd forget.

And then I'd remind her, and then she'd forget, and then I'd remind her, and he goes, the best part of all for my little girl, is that even when she forgets, I never stop holding her. How cool is that? So whether you reach out with your coffee pot tomorrow or not, he's pursuing you. And then it suddenly just shifts. Like what quiet time is.

Suddenly it's not like trying to strive. It's like, I'm just going to open to the pursuit. I'm going to open to the love that I believe, but have forgotten to receive and have very long time. And the only way I'm going to receive it is by looking at the things in me, honestly, they probably don't feel lovable. In fact, it's interesting. John Calvin says this phrase,

he talks about this thing called double knowledge that you can't know God without knowing yourself. And I was like, I feel like we're kind of self-obsessed. Why would we need to know our heart and know our self? Like, why? Until I recognized, wait a second. I've known my whole life God is love. But when I look at myself,

I would say look at my jealousy or my judgment or my fill in the blank. And now I consider that God his love. Suddenly his love for me expands because his love for me is no longer dependent upon my good behavior. So my awareness of his love expands as I know myself and voice that to the one who loves you the most. So tangibly, how do you access your heart? Two things I do. One, coffee pot, prayer, let my mind wander.

The second part of the prayer and then we can go wherever else is another part of that prayer that I do because I am in Christ. I didn't even know what that phrase meant. It sounded great. I knew I had an identity in Christ. I did not know what it meant. I have a discipline of reminding myself of what it means at my coffee pot, and it's this. I imagine myself as an onion, so imagine that being your whole heart, your personality, your everything, body, mind, spirit, everything. And what I do, after I do the wandering mind moment is I just allow each layer to open up to them.

And I start by going, oh, God, I am a mom. That's what's my role responsibility I hold. At the time, especially in that deep season of grief, it was I'm a widow, and I'd sit with the suckiness of that in my 30s. And then I would get to, and I'd start with like my roles, my jobs even, I'm a pastor, and they just kind of open up all these pieces. And I'd also say this added part of like, I am these things, but I'm not primarily these things.

I'm a woman, I'm sensitive, I am outgoing. I am sad. Thank you. I am very funny. And then I get to personality. And then I get to how I'm feeling, and then I get to how my body feels. And then I get to the core, core, core, core, core.

I am in you and you're in me. And then I linger there before putting all that stuff on, asking, like, what does it mean to have the spirit as a mom? What does it mean as I put back my personality? I'm outgoing. But like, I have the spirit that, that's different than just being outgoing.

That suddenly is like, whoa, there's something here. God's going to give me energy from other people. And then I just kind of put on all the layers. Like, while I'm not primary of those things, I still am those things. And suddenly those are something to steward, our finances to steward, our personality to steward, our neighbors to steward, our story, which you guys have done very faithfully to steward. And the best part is, is we do. We're not doing it along. I don't know what to say.

I am getting rocked. I think something that you said that resonated with me so much is like I love, I feel so freed by you simply saying when your mind wanders, let it go there. It's going there for a reason. That's clearly what your heart wants to talk about. And like literally today and every day when that happens, I'll be like, Holy Spirit, like I'm doing all my spiritual stuff and then my mind begins to wander. And then I come back and I'm like, you alone are worthy Lord. I make it this intense thing. and I shame myself so much because I'm like, no, no, no, no.

And it's like my biggest prayer is that God would just like tear down every idol to break every bit of idolatry. And then I shame myself so hard when I see that something is rising above Jesus. Or I see that like my anxiety or my worry is clearly more important than just like looking at Jesus's face that day. And I have had, Arii goes through this as well. I think we both experience God at times as like an angry. God or a disappointed dad or this like perpetual feeling that God is mad at us. And so I'm just so grateful and like maybe you can speak to that because you don't seem like you have that. And it's amazing. Well, I just think the spirit is more involved in everything than we realize. Like that's

why we don't have to pause the prayer. Yeah. And we can talk to him about that. I just gave a message two weeks ago and it was actually a gnarly passage. And it speaks to what you're just talking about. It was this one, Matthew 7. The end of the sermon of the Mount, thanks. End of the sermon on the Mount. It says this, Jesus speaking. Not everyone who says to me, Lord, Lord, will enter the kingdom of heaven.

Out. Yeah. But only the one who does the will of my father, who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, Lord, Lord, did we not prophesying your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles? Then I will tell them plainly. I never knew you away from me, you evil doers.

Here's the surprise. He does not say you didn't know me. Jesus says, you didn't let me know you. Well, I care about all the things. I mean all the things. And you brought up the angry God. It's so interesting when I used to be terrified of this passage. I imagine that the whole sermon on the mat was him like, don't do this.

Yeah. For sure, don't do that. Like, for sure, not that. You know better than that, especially you over there. I felt that like tone, but I forgot that the entire sermon on the mouth begins with what? The beatitudes, which are what? Blessed are that. So he literally begins the whole thing with blessing, but what kind of blessing?

The surprising kind that's like, guess why are you blessed? When you're teary-eyed. That's so good. Guess when you're blessed when you're at the end of yourself. That's so good. So guess what he wants to hear about all of that? and he wants to know you. He wants to know you and be with you in all of it.

And this is the, I just think that the spirit is, I hope I'm learning about him the rest of my life. I'm planning to keep me accountable like you're a no-sugar diet. Mexican cook. Yeah, is, I think the spirit is involved in a lot more than we realize. For instance, insecurity. I used to think that was just like a moment of weakness. and be confident, Megan, you know, if you feel insecure when you walk into just anything, right?

I mean, think of anywhere you walk in where you feel insecure. Here's, what if it's the spirit going, I'm not going to let you find security there. Like, what if insecurity is a gift? I know that sounds nuts. I like that perspective. What if he's like, yeah, I'm not going to let you find security and how you look. That's not going to be all that secure. I'm not going to let you find security in your weight.

It's not going to be. y'all that's secure. Well, I'm not going to let you find security in your job because it's not going to sustain you. Like, so I think it communicates through surprising ways like that, but I think he also communicates in surprising ways through our body. Well, I need, what do you mean by that? Yeah, I've been studying the body lately because I'm like, you gave us a body and, and new heavens, new earth, we will have bodies. I somehow just no one gave that sermon when I was little, or they did and I was drawing. So I've been thinking about the body and I'm like, well, there's obvious signs. Like, when my kid throws up,

what's his body communicating? Yeah, he's sick. He's sick. Right. When I do that, I'm emotional, or maybe I'm a little sick. Our bodies are constantly communicating, but also our anxieties, I think rather than just shaming ourselves and our anxieties, it's going like, well, my body's trying to communicate that I'm not at peace.

What a gift, because how kind is the Lord? And I think about even his kindness is what leads us to repentance. How kind of the Lord to bring up stuff because he doesn't want us to live like that anymore. And he's so gentle and he's so kind. So if the voice you're hearing is not gentle and kind, I don't think it's the Lord. Definitely not. But I do think there's truth that's trying to be communicated.

I just think that we've limited the Holy Spirit quite a bit, and we could get on that conversation for a while. But what if he's really, as Romans 8 says, dwelling within, longing, longing with us. He longs for every part of our heart to be his home. And so in his perfect time, I think it's really profound that he lets us see ourselves. Even the stuff that's not great, like with the perspective of the spirit, wanting what's best and interceding on our behalf, it's interesting to go.

So if in kindness he lets me see something or pain or trigger that brings me back to someone really hard, I know he's with me and I know we could do something together there that's really powerful. but if I try to just not be affected, I feel like I'm not going on that journey. And I think he's kind and gentle. And he is, as Romans 828 going to use, watch this, all things for the good of those who love him. And thanks be to God that all things that God uses to form us more into the likeness of Jesus. All things includes all things. If someone listening to this podcast would sit there on their drive or their run,

proud of you by the way if you're running or wherever you're sitting from and just be there with him and wherever your mind goes to that thing for good and then defines it again in romans 829 when he says for those of god's 14 years ago to be conformed to the image of the sun god's definition of i feel like all of us lately we've just been trying to make better choices like nothing extreme just small things that actually make a difference especially in the morning because mornings are so important and so many of us realize that we wake up and we go straight to coffee, not really eating anything and then wondering why we feel off later. So I think it's time we try to switch it up a little bit. Just starting our day with something that actually

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Of course, loss does not make my life in any way more comfortable or happy. But you know what it does? Man, if I let it, it forms me more into the likeness of Jesus. I've been more of a prayer warrior for my kids than ever in my entire life. And I believe I give that testimony to let someone else know, like he'll use your own. crap for good too you do not have to be alone there oh Lord I'm not okay the first time I saw Megan it was at my church and she did a sermon on Psalm 139 and it changed the whole perspective of my prayer time and I still hear your voice sometimes in my

prayer time because you said something like are you bitter tell them are you sad tell And so being able to get to that place of vulnerability with Jesus, that's why he says, you must enter as a child. It's like I go back to a child where I can be open and honest and real. And I feel like I've seen the wonders of God in that place. And then I just love how you went through Psalm 139. Because David, how real and honest and raw he was and how God, it's just so beautiful.

So yeah, you just, for anyone listening, please watch her sermon on Psalm 139. It literally changed everything. I remember sitting there. I listened to it twice. I sat there for the next service, and I listened to you twice because it was that good. Psalm 139 has been the passage I've sat in for the past few years.

After I wrote, relaxed, I've gone on a little bit of a journey, and that passage has really been the guiding place of my prayer life. So I love that that's affected your prayers, because it deeply affected mine because it is a prayer. It is this really profound chapter of the Bible that's very famous at women's conferences because it has that one-liner, you are fearfully, wonderfully made. Put it on a sweatshirt. And so everyone loves that chapter, right?

And I remember the first time I ever taught it, I taught through it. And it's great because it's all about, like, God's unique, distinct, omni characteristics, his incommunicable attributes, the attributes that we cannot become. Like some of his attributes, like love, we can become. But his all-knowing, probably not going to get there. He's all-knowing. He's all-powerful. He's the creator.

He is ever-present. Like these truths about God that David just seems to be listing out, listing out, listing out, listing out, listing out. But I find that Psalm interesting in so many ways that we talk about it for hours. The beginning of it starts with Search My Heart. The end of it ends with Search my Heart. And it talks all about who God is. and then the scripture takes this little turn that the first time I taught it, I just skipped

because I didn't understand it. Yeah. Basically, it's such a funny, I'm going to go to it. It's such a funny passage in so many ways. It reminds me a little bit of John. Remember how John in the book of John refers to himself as the one, you know? Whom Jesus loves.

Yeah, so it seems so arrogant until you really think about it, like, or is he utterly secure? I can imagine introducing yourself, like, oh, I know who I am. I'm the one who is secure in love. Like, that sounds great. I see it in David, too, where he's like,

you created my inmost being, Psalm 113. I praise you, I'm fearfully, wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. Again, he's talking about himself, your works, God. They're wonderful. Yeah, yeah. And then he says this, how interesting. I know that full well, which makes me wonder, like, do we?

Then it was like, my frame was not hidden. You saw my in for body, precious to me are your thoughts, God? How vast is the sum of them? Where I count them they don't number of the great. of Sam when I wake I still with you, then it takes a left turn. And it's this really sweet seems chapter of the Bible until verse 19, if only you God would slay the wicked. What? Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty, and he kind of just goes off. And it feels random. It feels like it doesn't fit until you recognize this is the heart of David writing this chapter.

which is what we're getting at this whole time. What's at the heart? David's mad. This whole chapter, surprisingly, is what's referred to as an imprecatory psalm. The token women's conference chapter of the Bible is a psalm of judgment and hatred and anger. What? And when you realize that, this is what's at his heart. It makes you reread the entire thing again in a very different tone.

So if he's angry, which by the way, is not a topic we talk about a lot, and yet I think it's something we all have to deal with. Otherwise, it just continues to explode to other cars on the freeway or the people we love the most. So if you realize at his heart, what's coming up is anger when you start at the beginning. It's like, you've searched me and you know me. You know when I sit, when I rise, you know what this is doing in me. He's talking all about God knowing.

You know how mad I am, how unfair this is. you know to a greater extent than I do you know how this is affecting me then he goes like where can I get away from you like when he feels that utterly exposed where can I go from here's where can I flee from you you know and you're with me then he gets to like and you created me this way and it's in that context with a capacity to be mad yeah and to not be okay with the brokenness of the world that he says you created me fearfully and wonderfully made and you created me like this with a capacity to not be okay with the world as it is and also to not be okay with what's going on in me

and this is what the Holy Spirit's doing in Romans 8 when he's like we're longing for something better. Like that longing within us is not a bad longing and the problem is what we do to cope with it. Yeah. And here's what David models for us. We, back to you, tell them. If you are bored or you feel like an idiot

when you read your Bible, tell him. He's not going to meet you. you to pretend spiritual, more spiritual version of yourself. He's going to only meet you right where you're at. And so if you want to meet with him, if you want to seek him and find him, it starts with honesty about, and I wonder even anyone listening in, there's another chapter in the Psalms Psalms 4 where he says, get on your bed and rage, like rage. We have to have a space for how God created us.

And if we don't deal with it, it will harden us or it will leak out and I think many of us myself included which is why I'm so obsessed with this I need and I like what anger is anger is like this really crazy emotion it makes you feel powerful when you feel weak and sad that's why anger just feels more accessible than just sitting sad like yeah it makes sense and that's I really want to let people know the anger really I mean it exposes what you value it exposes what feels unsafe it exposes like that's not right and there's so much of our life that is not right and taking time to tell them to voice to God it's not right and then you'll be pleasantly surprised to find him going I know and I'm doing something about it so would that be kind of like

when you are in that moment of grief because I'm sure there's moments where it just hits you so hard what do you do in that moment you just tell them like what is something a practical thing that somebody can do when grief hits them so hard yeah Grief is being honest. It's like the one thing we can do with loss. I think badly what I would just tell anyone is to grief. Oh, that sounds so obvious. It's to let.

This is a key term for me. Let it come. Let God comfort you. Let a friend comfort you. Let. And so here's why you say it. It feels, it almost feels too simple. say, oh, what are you doing?

Oh, you actually have to grieve. No, it's true. Because if you don't grieve, you'll get stuck at whatever stage you've tried to get out of the grief out. So you'll remain angry for a very long time. But I think this is the visual I want to give everyone is to move from hands, fists. And I even wonder if anyone that's not driving would want to take their fists and just like squeeze them and go like, what would I ask you to do in a moment of rage, sad?

Whatever negative emotion we termed negative emotions is to move from trying to find a way to control or navigate or fix to do. just open to let. So in grief it would be whatever this posture feels like to you, maybe it's fall on the ground and cry. Bluster those who mourn. Yeah. They will be comforted. Or maybe it's I'm going to let someone in. Or maybe it's, I'm going to tell God that I'm really not okay. Or it's I'm going to open to my friends who have been suggesting a certain therapist and I just keep hearing the same name over and over. I just wonder and it's hard to prescribe it. Yeah.

Okay, I have to say this because I know someone listening needs to hear it. There are seasons where opening your Bible feel so easy, and then there are seasons where it takes a little more intention. And lately, we've just been so mindful about staying consistent and actually sitting with the word, not just rushing through it. And honestly, Hosanna Revival has been part of our lives for a while now. We've had their Bibles for over two years, and we still find ourselves always going back to them.

And not just because they're beautiful, because they are beautiful, but because they feel like an invitation to slow down and really engage. Like when something is created with intention, it pulls you in differently. And honestly, can we just say that they are so beautiful? Their whole heart is that the Word of God is already beautiful. And sometimes having a Bible that reflects that just helps you stay connected to it in a deeper way. They just drop their new spring collection and it honestly feels like a fresh layer to our time with God. So if you've been wanting to be more consistent or go a little deeper in your time in the word,

this is such a simple but meaningful step. Use Code GGB for 15% off. they don't know where someone's at in their journey. I don't know if they're like, I know I should be over it by now. Let it be okay that you're not. That's so good. You know, like, what is let?

It's a passive, it's passive, and everything in us wants to be reactive, active. I think what I'm learning in life is, even the spiritual life is, it's a lot more letting God love you instead of trying to understand it. It's just letting, yeah. Man. That is so good. I want to ask you, so you wrote a book called Relaxed, and it is phenomenal.

And like I said earlier, you just have a piece about you that is so special. I think sometimes, like, the contrast between our energy at times. I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And you're like, don't care. It's all good. Can you just in a world where people are so debilitated by anxiety, people are paralyzed? can you just talk to us about, because I'm pretty sure you've studied anxiety, spiritually, physically, psychologically. Can you just talk to us a little bit about anxiety and where you think Jesus meets us? Sure. I would just give the invitation. The entire book relaxed, walking with the one who's not worried. It's the opposite of anxiety. Walking with the one who's not worried about a thing. The whole spine of the book is based off of an invitation from scripture that happens.

to be a lot of people's life verse, which is awesome. I love, love, love, love, taking really famous verses. Yes. And going, there's a reason they got famous. Yeah. Let's understand it. And let's open ourselves. And the reason I think I like the famous ones is because our pride tells us that we

already know it. Yes. Wow. So when you hear a verse, you're like, ah, my life verse. I love it. And it's great. I think sometimes your pride and disables you from actually being able to receive it afresh. because anytime you receive any gift, it requires humility, right?

So if someone brings you a Christmas gift and you don't have one for them, you had that moment where you're like, yours is in the car. Like, you know, you're just like, at home in my garage and I'll get later. When I get it, it will be better than yours. But what does it take for you to receive that gift is some level of humanity? That's why we don't like not having something back because we want it to match. We don't want to just receive something. And so in anxiety or anything, the simple, profound to me that I wrote an entire book on,

not just letting people know this truth, but experience it, is the invitation from the Lord, which man is like a full circle of this whole conversation, which is in Proverbs 3, 5, and 6, which says, say it with me, trust in the Lord with all your heart. And think about our conversation. Why with all of our heart? Because he's there. Yeah. And he's interceding on your behalf.

So why do we trust him? And it starts with getting honest. You don't trust him by being somewhere else. You trust him by telling him. I'm distracted. I want to want you more. I want to wake up earlier. I want to, and I know that I won't probably, like, help me.

And there's a humility that's required in order to receive anything. And so trust in love with all your heart. Open yourself to humility. What do you do with anxiety? again back to the let it's like this different posture it's I'm gonna let God fill in the blank as I trust in the Lord with all your heart lean not on your own understanding which is why so many of us are anxious is because we can't fully understand anything which is why prayer makes sense because he does yeah yeah lean not on your own understanding I mean we say I'm just trying to

figure everything out and it's like socially acceptable in Christian circles and I'm well I see I like a lot I got you girl what if we were to go What if you didn't? Just like let the breath happen. Trust and all your heart, not lean out on your understanding. In all your ways, do what? Acknowledge or submit, depending on your translation, to him. In other words, open it to him.

And what will happen? He will direct your path. In that moment of anxiety, we need to let him guide, of course, right? By telling him, I'm so anxious. And when I turned in that book, I turned it into my editor, and she cut out a few lines that I actually put back in. The line was, take the time it literally takes. And I kept saying it, take the time it literally takes. And they're like, it's so redundant.

I'm like, I know, but we won't take the time it literally takes to at the end of this podcast. You have more information. Great. And that's what we want. And I don't know. You have to take the time it literally takes to tell them, God, I'm so anxious about honesty. God's only going to meet you where you are, not where you're not. So we start there and we trust him by even telling him,

I don't trust you with my future because finally you're trusting him with where you're at. I love you. I think I have to go. Where are you going to go? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. So special. And it's so important.

Sorry, just very tender right now. It's like the way that you break it down. What I love about you so much is you're never trying to come up with anything, and it is profound, everything that you're saying. But it's so, so simple. That's what I was just thinking too. It is. It's all the things we already know.

It's just simple, digestible. And I want to say another real, before you go to wherever you're up to. I'm willing. Is that this is like. Like this is God's word. It's God speaking. And so I hope by the end of this session, if you sought to find God and opened your heart in humility to receive a gift

that you could never return, which is his loving acceptance of you that's not just reserved for heaven. It's possible now as you expose, allow him to see you. And you trust him there. So beautiful, Matt. I feel like just so many people's hearts are so open right now. Would you want to just leave people to the Lord? It was going to be.

Here we are, Lord, and I think of our wandering mind and how funny in the middle of the podcast, when people might want to skip to the next episode, Lord, I pray that they wouldn't, and right now they would just let their mind wander and talk to you about that. I wonder, Lord, about where people are actually just really sad. I pray they would tell you. or maybe that they're confused or let down or angry search us Lord know our heart test us yes know our anxious thoughts

which we know that you do but like you said at the end of this sermon on the mount you want to know us you want us to let you know where we're at lord i pray even now to put together a sentence god i'm so anxious about and then tangibly ask for help i imagine that just delights i i'm a mom and i love when my little kids like can you help me especially with something I'm fully capable of and friends as you're going in prayer God is fully capable of absolutely anything. Lord I pray that you would gift us with faith to believe and trust that your answers for good and to form us more into your likeness have your way amen thank you jesus wow thank you Megan for being such examples for us such a gift we love you so much thank you thank you for six years ago and thank you for today what a full

circle moment. It's so crazy. Thank you. Thank you, Meg. You are such an example for us. We can't thank you enough. This is one of our favorite episodes today. Oh, please. I am like rocked right now. Thank you. Those from the bottom of our hearts. Those for us. Just ministered to all of us so much. Thank you. It's fun. Last thing I'd say is there's one little accountability I have for myself before I share anything and it changes how I even receive your feedback right now. I won't share anything that hasn't genuinely changed my life first. And so as you're like, oh, I think I'm like, God, you did it again.

But it's like, I can take it as like a, oh, you just started with me. How cool. And so for anyone listening in, like, it's beautiful to let God do things in us because inevitably it's never going to stop with us. What a gift to see it affect someone else. Thank you.

Thank you. All right, guys, we love you so much. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May he make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May he turn his face towards you and give you peace. Shalom, shalom, shalom. Love you.