Girls Gone Bible - Michael & Jessica Koulianos | Girls Gone Bible

Episode Date: October 17, 2025

Hiiii GGB!   Guys. This week, we are so honored to have pastors Michael and Jessica Koulianos from Jesus Image Church in Orlando, FL with us on GGB. These are leaders that have shaped and formed us in our faith in so many ways and having them on the pod means so much to us. We’re so grateful for them and their leadership. We’re so grateful you guys get to hear from them and learn from the incredible way they live their lives with Jesus.   we love you so much. Jesus loves you more. -Ang & Ari   ORDER OUR NEW BOOK! You can order our new book “Out of the Wilderness— 31 Devotions to Walk with God Through Your Hardest Seasons” at girlsgonebible.com/book   JOIN US ON GGB+ 🥹❤️ https://ggb.supportingcast.fm   COME SEE US ON TOUR: Tickets for our tour are now on sale. Go to www.GirlsgoneBible.com/tour October 25, 2025 Morristown, NJ October 26, 2025 Patchogue, NY November 14, 2025 Atlanta, GA December 6, 2025 Los Angeles, CA   BetterHelp A convenient, affordable way to connect with a licensed therapist from the comfort of your home. Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/girlsgonebible.   Beam Visit https://shopbeam.com/GGB and use code GGB to get our exclusive discount of up to 35% off.   Glorify App Guided meditations and daily devotionals to build your faith and find inner peace on the go. Download the app for free at Glorify-app.com/ggb.   Olive & June Salon-quality nails from home made easy with the Olive & June system. Everything you need for a flawless at-home manicure. Get 20% off your first system at OliveandJune.com/GGB   BrickHouse Nutrition Daily nutrition made simple with high-quality supplements to support your health and energy. Use code GGB for 20% off at ToneToday.com.   WE LOVE YOU AND CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOU!

Hi, I'm Ange, and I'm Ari, and this is Girls Gone Bible, and we are not even going to pretend to have a little intro today because this is an insane day, a beautiful day. I am about to get wrecked emotionally because today we have pastors Michael and Jessica Cuillianos with us. Guys, thank you so much for being here. We're so happy to be here. I just want to tell you that from the very beginning. This has been like the one thing that if you guys came on Girls Gone Bible, it would fill just so much of my heart because of who you have both been to me

and my faith and to Ari. And we just want to honor you guys before we even start. Pastors Michael and Jessica are the pastors of Jesus image church in Orlando, Florida. they also are doing a lot in Orange County, California, so we kind of have them with us in California sometimes. And I just want to say to both of you, thank you for your ministry, for the way that you love Jesus, for the way that you shepherd, your people, God's people. Everything I've learned has been from you guys. I started in ministry having no mentors, no one, to look to no one to learn from and just kind of being like Jesus I have no idea why I'm here

or why this is happening and I don't really know what to do. Um, tuning in to Jesus image every Sunday for years. My first time, my first time coming to Jesus image was in 2023 with my family and my family experienced a miracle over the phone within 10 minutes of being at Jesus image. Somebody who we loved dearly was in jail and we were pre-yearly. And we were praying for the longest time for breakthrough. And within 10 minutes of being at Jesus' image, we get a call saying that they're coming out. And so I'll never forget, me and my mom, we fall to our knees in the middle of your church service, and we're just like, Jesus, you're in this place.

And so I learned all about the presence of God through Jesus' image. I learned what it really meant to seek the Lord's face, to seek the presence of Jesus and not to settle for anything less. and we, Ari and I went on tour and it was a really interesting experience because we went on a live podcast tour and we felt the Lord be like this isn't just a live podcast tour

like you're here to minister to people to preach the gospel and to get people saved you're not doing a little live podcast tour and so I'm like okay Lord then what does that mean what do you want us to do and I look to you guys we study Jesus image we watch every Sunday. And you guys taught me how to pray for healing, how to release words of knowledge, how to lead a room into an encounter with the real true living Jesus Christ. So we want to honor

you guys. Thank you. Thank you, Lord. Thank you. Thank you for being here. Every Sunday, I get absolutely wrecked by the presence of God through the TV. And so you guys have changed our life through your ministry. We can't thank you enough. Thank you. Wow. Thank the Lord. Yeah, thank you. We're privileged to have you here with us.

Yeah. It's an honor to have you here. So Chivas, thanks. I don't know what to say. All glory to the Lord. Well, Girls Gone Bible is what it is today because of you guys. I hope you take that as a compliment. We do.

He might not, but I do. Why wouldn't I not? No. Because a bunch of girls, a bunch of girls. Oh, oh. This is my first podcast with three girls. Yeah, I will say, you guys don't do a podcast. So this is like.

listen. You don't really do podcast. I just did. I did when I was rich recently. You did. I was laughing the whole time. That was so funny. That was funny. Yeah. Yeah, but no, I mean, I can sense hunger on both of you. And I know that you, Angela, have been

flying in to come to church. And it's really humbling. I don't really have words other than when the Lord comes, he draws people. And I think in our early days, we probably thought he was coming because we were doing all the right things. And I think there's truth to that biblically. Like you do have to follow his pattern. But at the end of the day, he comes because of his mercy. And so thank you for being here. We're just, I don't know, a few

hundred yards from the new church. Yeah. And it's a privilege to have you. Thanks for making the time. Yeah. Thank you so much. Yeah. You guys are awesome. All right. Well, let's get into it. We want to know who you guys are, how you found Jesus. You both have incredible backstories of not fully being in the faith, coming to faith. Jess, you grew up in ministry. Michael, you didn't. And this is, right? Am I right?

Yeah, absolutely, yeah. And I know there's so many different layers to your guys' stories. And then you find each other and start serving Jesus together, get married. I love your story so much. So whoever wants to go first, however you want to tell. You want to start. Your is more sinful. It is.

Like yours look better. So we make our people feel better after mine. Yeah, I grew up in church my whole life. My dad is in ministry, so it's all I've ever known. And traditional pastor's kid, like, I hate to say that, but the norm is we typically run from God at some point in our life. And so just completely ran away from the Lord, wanted nothing to do with God.

It started to run at like 13, 14, just a mess. did all the things that you could imagine, and I went to a Christian university, got kicked out of that university, deserved it. My girl. And I totally deserved it. And, well, for so many things. He loves this story. I might have.

The prayer fountain one. I might have, it was a hot summer day, and I might have gotten a beer and a floaty and went and the prayer gardens and enjoyed myself. It was on a raft. On a raft. But that's not why I got a lot. kicked out believe it or not but um i don't even know if i got caught in a bathing suit yeah it was a hot summer day it was like it was over a hundred degrees and i was bored i was there at summer

school because i was failing i know yes um but yeah completely ran from god and then when i did get kicked out of um you know christian university which again i deserved it i take full ownership for that um just hit like a big rock bottom and realized that, like, I had nothing to show for my walk with God. I was kind of just, I felt like a loser, and honestly, I was acting like one, and hit, like, a good rock bottom and started to talk to the Lord again for the first time since I was a child. He was so merciful.

I could feel his presence the moment I talked to him and started to follow the Lord. And shortly after met Michael, and we started to, you know, date with the intention of getting married. I think we call it courting. It's such a charismatic term. Church words. Yes. And then just everything changed then.

And I've had my ups and downs for sure. But the Lord has been so faithful and merciful. And it just blows my mind. Like we meet now, our church, we are, until our building is built, we are meeting at the church my dad built. So, like, I always look around the room and I'm like, wow, I was running from the Lord in here and hated God, and here I am with my children serving God in the same building. It's just the details of the Lord are phenomenal.

Can we talk about it really quick? Okay, so your building that you're at now in Orlando was your father's building where he ministered 20 years ago? Gosh, maybe longer than that. 89, right? 84 it was done. Oh, yeah. And you guys.

41 years ago. Well, 41 years ago. And you guys got filled with the Holy Spirit. right next to each other at the same night. Can you tell us about that? Yeah, we didn't know about that actually because he's, what, we're five years apart? Four.

I think it's five. But I'm 43. It's four and a half, right? Anyway. So there was a night, it was a Wednesday night church service where my dad called all the young people up and said the Holy Spirit

is going to be so tangible tonight and he wants to impart his power into their lives. And so I remember going on the stage and Michael did too, but we just figured this out maybe a few years ago. We were talking about the moment

that we met the Holy Spirit and I was like, oh my gosh, you're on the stage were you one of the kids that was crying next to me? He's like, I was on the stage right over here. I was like, me too.

So it's wild. Amazing. You guys. Yeah. Yeah, her dad actually, so I had gotten saved and then I had heard about the baptism of the Holy Spirit

through my cousin, who was a Greek Orthodox priest. He was a very powerful theologian, and he had read Good Morning Holy Spirit, which is the book her dad wrote. And if there were ever a balanced, liturgical, seasoned, strong man, it was my cousin, Father Sam, who was also in the Marines, was a chaplain there, lectured at the seminary, the Orthodox seminary.

so just a very strong solid man and now he gets filled the Holy Spirit and starts ministering in the gifts of the Spirit I was an altar boy and there was just a very pronounced difference and so he gives us this book long story short her dad actually led me to the Lord in that building and then I had heard about the baptism of the Spirit I had seen what the power of the Holy Spirit can do to have family and a community, watching the before and after, similar to Peter, right? Peter denies the Lord post-Pentecost. He preaches the same people who killed the Lord. And so you see these marked differences and lives that you're familiar with. And so Pastor Benny, so I had been seeking the Lord for this touch from heaven for maybe six months to a year as a 12-year-old boy. And I had always

been offered like what I felt wasn't the real deal. Just to be honest. Can you talk? Yeah, like old women, old Pentecostal woman would come up and be just like, repeat after me. It was all about like tongues or all about like this language. And I knew there was something more because I had experienced the presence of the spirit. I had seen true miracles growing up. And obviously I value all the gifts of the spirit, but I didn't want to repeat after someone. I wanted my own story. I wanted God's fingerprint. on my own wife. And so Pastor Ben, he said, after like six months, it was really funny actually, growing up Greek Orthodox, I said, well, maybe if I buy a new icon and put it in my room

and pray in front of my icon, I'll get baptized in the spirit. And so like for a month and a half as a 12 year old, I would pray for six to eight hours a day. Yeah. And nothing happened. So then I said, take me back to the icon shop and tarpent. And they took me and I said, maybe if I get an icon with a candle connected to it because I had heard it was the baptism of the Holy Spirit and fire. So I said, maybe I need some fire on my name. So I lit the candle. That didn't do it. And then

I went back to church. My parents drove me back with all these Greek Orthodox people from Tarpon Springs to her dad's church about almost three hour drive. And Pastor Benny said, next Wednesday I'll teach on the baptism of the spirit. Wow. And something leapt in me. And I told

my mom, my sweet mom, I said, you've got to take me back, Mom. And then imagine, you're just shuttling somebody three hours each direction. I owe so much to my parents, you know. Yeah. Wow. And sure enough, he taught, and faith was leaping in my soul. He taught for about two hours on the baptism of the Holy Spirit. And he called people forward, and that was the night.

I went down, too. So it's like undeniable that the Holy Spirit met me that night. Yeah, it was something to this day. I cannot shake it. And I was eight. I was eight years old. Yeah. Wow.

So the Lord's been so faithful to us. Yeah. What an insane story. All the crossover, all the connection. And then so Pastor Michael, you are, you've given us a little bit of your story. And then, so what does the rest of your teens into adulthood look like? Oh, geez. I started preaching at 16 in a little Bible study.

I was this was after my parents took me to Pastor Benny's gosh for four years by this time I'm a junior in high school and my background is golf so I was being recruited to play for you know the best schools in the country and I felt the Lord actually called me to ORU but I didn't want to go there just they weren't very good at golf And there's the difference between men and woman right there. Yeah, they weren't. They just weren't. And it was cold there. I remember my recruiting visit was

November in Tulsa. And I'd always wanted to play for the Gators in Gainesville here at University of Florida. But I knew the Lord was calling me to Tulsa, two or are you, I just couldn't do it. And it was the wrong call spiritually. I'm grateful for all I learned at UF, but I think God's perfect plan was that I'd gone to ORAU. Do you, can I interrupt? Yeah, please. So are you saying that you feel like you kind of missed God's, really? Okay, because there's a lot of messaging that, like, you can never miss what God has for you. And, like, what do you think about that? I don't see that in the Bible at all. Yeah. I mean, there are, I mean,

from the story of Eden, people miss it. Kane certainly missed it. The Kings of Israel certainly missed it. David missed it. God was merciful. But any time you remove the ability to miss it, free choice, you remove the ability to love. Yeah.

So. But the Lord will turn it around. He can if you yield or you can just miss it your whole life. The free will is very, very powerful. God is after our will. it's the seed of the soul it's the bullseye of the soul in the orthodox tradition

we call this the process of theosis in other words the eastern thought is me becoming me experiencing union with God and by his power forming me into his image so eventually the soul is renewed and the mind

is renewed and we call the sanctification but certainly you can resist all that and I did and went to the University of Florida backslid backslid actually prior to going because I just felt like I was in rebellion towards the end of my high school years

and that's not a great place to be and so I went to school there went like a year without ever picking up a Bible and turned professional eventually, played professionally got injured a bunch and then I started coaching

and then that's when Jessica and I reconnected well you know she was nine so I mean I don't know how connected we were before we didn't like know each other when he went to our day yeah no nothing serious at that time yeah yeah but my amazingly my aunt who's with the Lord now is true yeah before we were baptizing the spirit you know we didn't have connections at the church so we'd sit in the back like you'd have to line up back then which is wild similar to now Yeah. And so we would get like balcony seats.

We'd sit in the back. And my aunt said, pointed at Jess when I was 12. And she said, that's your wife. You'll marry her one day. It's unbelievable. And I was like, no way. She's like, yep, that's your wife. I had a unibrow on a Jordan jersey.

Yeah, she had a unibrow. You always bring up her unibrow. Yeah, because it was powerful. He always does. That's why I said it for him because I knew it was coming. I've been teaching on unity at the church. And I think her unibrow was. The two becoming one, yeah.

Oh, my gosh. So, she was a Middle Eastern girl who hadn't discovered grooming. Oh, my God. I was eight. Jess. Yeah. I was eight. The chest was for chess.

Yeah. But where were we? Yeah, how Theo Argy said. Oh, she said that. And then, yeah. So then I, fast forward, I go to college, backslide, and then in 03. my brother started dating her cousin at over you so jess actually had gone yeah that's the cool thing after i had um left over you i went back because i god gave me a dream for my cousin and so i went back

to tell her a dream i had and i met his brother who was going to over you after again i never met him when i was there i happened to just meet him going back to to see my cousin and And as soon as I saw his brother, the Lord was like, that's Rachel's husband. So I played a part in introducing them, my cousin and his brother. And then when I met his brother, he was like, oh, my gosh, we went to your dad's church. Like, we grew up going to your daddy's church. And I was like, okay, cool. And he was like, you've got to meet my brother.

And that's how the Lord brought us back together. Yeah. And then in 2003, I was living in Vegas and Gainesville. between the two and yeah so i came out my brother's like you need to come visit her and i did i'd seen a picture of her i was like whoa and uh the unibrow yeah no more unibrow yeah more jordan jersey and um so i flew to orange county um they were living in dana point at the time and when she opened the door the lord said that's your wife yeah that was that and then her dad offered me a job and i left everything

and then we moved our whole i moved my whole life to orange county yeah this is completely off topic but i am curious because growing up in church being in the world for a little bit you guys come together you both had a life and a past i'm wondering when you guys came together was there did the lord have to do a work of reconciliation um between you know who you guys were at that moment who you were in your past was there shame that had to be dealt with Good question. It's a really good question. For me, I was kind of going through that process right when I met Michael

and did just be really, like, raw and honest. I remember, you know, I would always say things to myself when I was in the world. Like, I never want to be one of those Christians that won't go to a club or won't do this. And, you know, I was kind of like, you know how you try to, like, talk yourself into maybe living in mixture a little bit? And so when I met Michael, because we were both coming out of the world, and we met, I think the first time, was in Orange County, but then, like, he was working in the summers in Vegas when we were dating, so I would go visit him.

And I remember, I said, let's go to the club or something like that. I was like, we know, we're finding God, but we can still go to the club. And he said, I'll never forget it. He said, I think those days are done for us. I was like, what do you mean? He's like, I think those days are done for us. We either need to be going after God or not. And he goes, and I believe with all my heart, you're my wife.

and I don't want to mess this up. And because we both did have a past, we had to put really clear boundaries in place so that we didn't slip up or do something we shouldn't do because we just did not want to mess up what the Lord was doing. We knew this was a good thing. And so we did have that moment of just kind of going like, we're kind of all or nothing people anyway.

But it was the best decision and I had no regrets. I was like, okay, we're done serving the world. Now we're going to serve the Lord. And so we kind of just had that moment and wiped our hands clean of it. And I was thankful that the Lord sent me a godly man that had strength to actually say that to me. And that was helpful because maybe I would have compromised

if he didn't lay it down like that and say, no, we're going after the Lord, no more playing games. And we just quickly made that decision. Wow, that's amazing. Yeah, I felt like it was so much God's will, I felt the fear of the Lord around it. Wow. Of course, I loved her.

I honored her dad, his impact on my life. but I also was very aware of the fact that I could blow up what God had planned. And that really freaked me out. Wow. And God's messaging was so clear that there was a real, real, like, awe of God around it. Like, I remember her dad one night, we were watching a movie, and we always left her bedroom door open.

and he walks in I'm on the floor and she's on her bed and he's like why are you laying on the floor watching a movie but that was like the level of like I'm not I'm not going here

you know her grandmother and my grandmother used to say gasoline and fire don't mix and it's an old like Greek Middle Eastern saying like she'd say the man has the fire and the woman has the gasoline the two don't mix

and by God's grace we just we never went there we just never went there and and we know a lot of people who did and unfortunately it's not that God can't forgive but our experience has been it affected their trajectory because origin is so important like the origin of something determines its trajectory it determines so much so the root system of anything that we're involved with is massive and I've just seen the difference over the last 21 years now yeah of marriage like people who got married around the same time who maybe didn't have those boundaries maybe had a different viewpoint on purity the the proof's been in the pudding in their lives and purity it doesn't fall on your lap yeah it comes with with

with the with like very thought out decisions based on scripture and and I think we were engaged like 18 months before we got married it's a long engagement yeah

well because I was gone so much I was her dad's assistant there was so much to do well everybody that I talk to is always like have a short engagement because longer dating short engagement because it gets the lines get weird when you're engaged

it's just like are we made it just gets harder So that is amazing. I think our culture helped. I mean, we had, like, you marry the family. So, like, I know. Like, I had my Greek family, her side. Yeah.

I mean, I think we would have been assassinated had we messed it up. Like, there were a lot of people like cheering us on, rebuking us, correcting us. We're very accountable to people too. And, like, I always say this to our students a lot who were, you know, young and dating and stuff at Jesus school. I'm like, listen, the reason I trust Michael now, because he's on the road, he's always been on the road.

He was an evangelist before he was a pastor. I was like the fact that he had self-control not to touch me before our wedding makes me trust him now with other women. The fact that he could have control of his members, like the Bible teaches us, you know, like that he had self-control makes me as a wife feel better knowing who he is. So that I always tell young people like, you're going to have your whole marriage. Like you don't, don't screw it up. Just really trust the Lord and put healthy boundaries in place. boundaries can get weird, but healthy boundaries are needed in those circumstances. Absolutely.

And if you have, like, confess it, make restitution, be accountable to the Lord and people. And, you know, don't let the shame of sin keep you from flourishing in the kingdom. But at the same time, that thought process should never be permission to willfully break the heart of God. Absolutely. Yeah. Wow. Thank you guys. Thank you for speaking on that at the very beginning of this episode. It's our favorite thing to talk about. Because honestly, we're two girls who literally couldn't have even fathomed what of life of genuine, authentic purity and a pursuit of holiness could mean. Like you're in the world and you're following Jesus. And we have so many people, I'm sure, who watch who are still living a life of mixture and casual Christianity and just like kind of, or a cultural Christianity. and just being so casual about their faith and blind.

Like, I was following, following. I was encountering Jesus, loving Jesus, literally meeting the Holy Spirit every single day. Like, the scripture's coming to life before me and then sinning at the same time. Because the bondage of sin, like the stronghold, that sin, like, it blinds you. It perverts everything.

And, like, when you have especially sexual sin in your life, You can't see anything clearly. You can't see. You can't even see that what you're doing is wrong. You can't even feel the conviction. So thank you guys for talking about that. Of course. Yeah.

I think what's really important for having you guys on in our listeners, our audience, is we want to teach people how to seek Jesus, how to see the face of Jesus, how to operate in the gifts. This is a lot of different topics. But first we can start with just how to genuinely. and they seek Jesus. Let me go. Go ahead.

Oh, me? Okay. Yeah, just being aware that he's so available, he's so near, he's so present, giving him all of your time, I'll be the first to say, I struggled with this for many, many years. And finally, when I got rid of all the other desires in my life and just started going after him, I didn't realize how deeply I needed him. And he was so faithful. And that's the thing about Jesus.

He's so merciful. Like when you run from him and then you decide to run back, he doesn't condemn you and make you feel less than. He's such a loving father like any good parent, you know, would be if their child comes home. Or even if they're following him, but they go the wrong direction for a moment and then go back. He was so merciful to me through all the ups and downs.

And there's so many. And love so without conditions. And people we love with conditions. We don't know how not to. but the Lord really loves us with an unconditional love. And so having this kind of fellowship with Jesus and for me personally knowing that when I don't spend time with him, even today, like even now, Jessica now, is the worst version of herself.

And I need him every day. I don't know. I can't even be a good wife, a good mom, a good leader, any of that without following Jesus. So it's just making yourself available and knowing how near he is. And I love how Michael always says. He's like, you can have as much of him as you want. like he's so available so that's key for me and I think intimacy like we're married to Christ

like so it's true bridal love and it's not like this little relationship that has no depth it's the deepest relationship we'll ever have in our life so walking with him that way and just talking to him like I'm talking to you like I'm pretty simple I don't complicate my walk with the Lord I just talk to him when I have good days bad days when I feel weak when I feel strong I actually like myself. This sounds crazy, but I like myself more sometime in weakness than when I feel stronger because I feel like I'm more dependent upon him. And that keeps me childlike and grounded. So just making him everything, he's everything in our life. Like I don't know how to do any part of my life now without Jesus being the center of it. And I hope he always stays it because I don't

trust myself without it. Absolutely not. Yeah. Yeah, I'd say, I mean, some of the basics, I think would be important maybe to mention. Absolutely. Prayers to be daily. The word to ask for daily bread, his presence is life. So I think probably one of the key revelations, and it is a revelation from the Lord,

is the presence and the word of Jesus is a matter of life and death. So Jesus said in the wilderness, man does not live by birth. bread alone, right, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. So the context there is survival or not, right? Like you live by it or if you don't have it, you die. So this births a massive dependency. I need the Lord. And I need him every day. I would say that's like elementary thought. I need him way more often than daily. Daily isn't enough.

I need him continually. And Paul, Paul describes such a standard that it invites us into a lifelong pursuit of the Lord. He says that he prays for his church always, and he commands the church to pray unceasingly. So the call is actually unceasing prayer, continual prayer. and if that's the call which I believe transcends and is more pivotal than what we commit to

from a missional standpoint right if I can achieve continual prayer I'm not going to have to worry about stadiums or arenas or whatever I'm called to or being faithful to Jesus image if I find the continual reception and interaction with God that is continual prayer

everything else is a byproduct everything. Everything else. My marriage is a byproduct. Me raising my kids is a byproduct. So you mentioned my kids earlier, right? And they are wonderful. Insanely amazing children. I love hanging out with my children. And they're godly. They're on fire. They're deep in the scriptures. Beni's ministering, Theo's ministering. Sophia's starting a Bible study for her friends. She's led worship in our environment with, I don't know, 80 voices behind her. She started. leading what, 12 was her first set she learned? Being 12, yeah. Yeah. Incredible, right? And then Theo's MDing. He's leading the team at times. He plays keys. He writes

music. He's strong on the word. Benny's going so deep in theology and preaching. He just preached to Jesus school. So all of that is a byproduct of the presence of God. Now two of the three receive the Lord a foot outside in my prayer room. Because

I'd walk out and when we were little, when they were little, and they'd say, Baba, what's going on in there? Babba, so you say, Father and Greek. Babba, what's going on there? And I said, I'm with the Lord. And they said, well, we can feel that. How can we get to know the Lord?

And I said, well, you can get to know them right now. So I got on my knees with my boys. I'm talking a foot outside of my prayer room in my house, and I got to lead them to the Lord. The Lord himself is the greatest evangelist. We're not these great evangelists. We're weak, Holy Spirit filled because of his grace, pieces of dust. That's what we are.

And I remember when people started getting healed in our meetings, her dad called me. And he said, I'm so proud of you. But can I give you just a little advice? I said, sure. He goes, you know, those hands that God seems to be flowing through? I said, yeah. He said, those are the same hands you open a car door with. Those are the same hands you wash dishes with.

that the same hands you open a cupboard with. They are just pieces of clay that God fills. So her dad, for example, Father Sam, other priests and clergy, never taught us how to minister to the sick, for example. But they taught us to pray. And they taught us the bullseye of it all. How to commune with the Lord? So I'd say, when you see his presence as being a matter,

of bread. Not a side issue, a matter of bread. If you don't eat, you die. David said, if you're quiet, Lord, if thou beeth silent unto me, he wrote in the Psalms. It's like I'm living in the pit. So God's voice to David wasn't like,

oh, cool, I got a word. It was when you don't talk, I feel like I'm in hell. Yeah, it's true. So it must be daily. And I'm a firm believer in mourning prayer. I'm not trying to be religious, but I do want to be saintly. And the testimony of the scriptures and the testimony of the fathers of the church

and the testimony of monastic orders for the last 2,000 years has been, my mornings belong to God. And something I told Jessica was, if God wants the tithe of our money, how much more does he want the tide of my day first roots yeah and we're very busy but if I want the Lord I can still meet him in the morning

I can make the time you have to make the time God will not make the time so this morning I didn't want to come here not full that would be a disservice to the Lord and to you

and to the people watching I wanted to commune with the Lord and I wanted him to move through me. So this morning is an example like every other morning. I'm up when it's dark and I love being with him because I've found

when I give him my mornings, he takes the day. He takes the whole day. Now when I'm with him, it's not complicated. It becomes less complicated as you age. I was telling my son, Benny, today. He goes, bye-bye.

you ever felt close to the Lord but far and I go at first I go no but I know what he was saying I go hold on do you mean close in the heart and far in the thoughts or far in the mind because the heart is married to the Lord the Bible says he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with the Lord or one with the Lord but the mind the thoughts the distractions the birthplace, the origin of sin, or inspired thought from God, there's a war over the mind. And so what I've learned is when I come in to be with the Lord and I give him my thoughts and I open the scriptures, I can open the book, I should say, but he has to open the scripture. So I simply open my Bible.

I usually will wait on the Lord for 45 minutes to an hour, just quietly. then I open my Bible because you can't rush into this book too many people just rush this is this is the heart of God in print and this book is encrypted

unless God opens it which makes it so holy one of the things it makes it holy what I mean by that is unless you know the Holy Spirit you can use this book to attack people God loves to what Paul did

Saul killed Christians because he felt that the scriptures demanded it right and then he meets Jesus the person and he takes the same scriptures and reasons in the synagogues and proves that Jesus is the Christ what was the hands what's the difference the person of the Lord so I wait on the Lord and people my students our students the Lord students ask me all the time

pastor how do you wait. And I go, I heard daddy tell me this. Well, how do you wait at the doctor? You wait. And sometimes at the doctor, you go through all the magazines, and then you go through everyone, and what are you left to? Waiting again. And a man named Walter Butler, who's gone on to be with the Lord, a great Bible teacher once

said, to rush the Lord is to find fault with the Lord. So when we start going, why isn't he manifest his presence yet? That's not the question. The question is he's worth the wait. and so I wait and then I open the scriptures and I say

Holy Spirit show me Jesus in this divine garden called the Word of God and then I start slowly reading and typically every morning

he puts a red light on a word or a verse and sometimes in my immaturity I'll blow by it and then I'll feel him go hold on you're moving beyond me

think of the word forget because forgetting is a sin think of what the word forget actually means look at the word for means to go beyond get means reception so when we're impatient we rush past the cloud

past what the Lord is doing and we forfeit our getting we forget like forethought is to go beyond so you forget the Lord oftentimes when you move beyond where he's pointing you in the scripture

and then I'll read he'll highlight something to me in the text it might be a word or a verse or a passage and then once he does that I'll pray into it and when I pray into it I'm praying into his heart because it's from the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks so I can know for sure God is spoken therefore I can discover his heart

through his words and then I read till my heart comes alive until he shows me himself and then I pray and then he tells me when it's done and I leave aware of his presence and my goal my goal and I haven't come close to getting this right yet but it is my dream and a lot would have to probably happen which is a different story but my dream is to walk with that awareness every second of every day. Hopefully more as I age and as my end comes near, I'll be more aware of him so that this world is less magnetic to me.

So that way, when it comes time to leave this world, my heart will have already left it. Wow. Wow. So that those weights are gone. those weights that Paul said that so easily hold us down or so easily entangle us. And so secret prayer births continual prayer.

That's what I would tell all of our listeners. It's like, He who dwells in the secret place shall abide. So what I'd like to just lovingly address is this teaching, especially in Gen Z, or young millennials, certainly in Alpha. is that you can just walk with God at all times. Yes, but it doesn't just happen. Continual prayer is born in secret prayer.

He who dwells in secret shall abide. And so this generation I want to see, discover Jesus in the scriptures and learn to commune with him in prayer. And you learn as you go. All a man can do is guide you. Eventually you have to shut the door and the Holy Spirit will teach you.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Okay, let's chat for a minute. Guys, October 10th is World Mental Health Day. And this year, we're saying thank you therapists. Behind every breakthrough is someone who showed up, asked the right question, and held space for honest change. You guys, we talk about it all the time, but finding the right therapist can be a game changer.

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So many of us deal with PMS, mood swings, brain fog, fatigue, the stuff we're told to just push through. Well, you're not crazy and you're not alone. Hormone health issues are all too common in women and rarely discussed. Did you know it's estimated up to 80% of women have a hormonal imbalance? We started drinking glow by beam, a women's super powder with 18 powerhouse ingredients. Think Ashwaganda and Chase Tree Berry. Designed to support hormonal balance so you can feel steadier energy, clear skin, and stronger hair and nails with metabolism

and thyroid support too. What we notice is that you don't get the afternoon crash anymore. And it actually tastes good. Like we're realizing that it is never too early to start caring about your hormones. It's one packet a day in water, 10 calories, caffeine-free, gluten-free, dairy-free, vegan and third party tested. My favorite flavor is strawberry kiwi. I am obsessed, you guys. And 40,000 plus women have tried glow and there are 3,000 five-star reviews. When our hormones are more balanced, everything else gets a little kinder. For a limited time, Beam is offering our listeners up to 35% off of glow. Just visit shopbeam.com slash ggb. Just visit shopbeam.com slash ggb. And don't forget to use our code ggb for your exclusive discount. Do you always sit in silence? Do you guys sit in silence in the mornings? Because you guys taught me so much about worship. And I'd like to know in your mornings, do you worship? Do you put ours in silence? We're both a little different. Yeah, I'll typically sit in silence and I do get distracted really easily. So I have to put my phone away. I like to, I'm not a

morning person, like Michael, by the way. Like I could be a night owl and I could sleep in with the best of them. But I did have to kind of train my body to wake up early because with having kids and the busyness of life, if I don't get up early, I've noticed that my time with the Lord just, I don't get the time with the Lord that I need. But yeah, always in the word, every day. You have to read your Bible. That's why I love what you girls are doing, because that is the foundation of everything we are. I just, so many Christians don't read their Bible. Or they, we Perry Chick, what's the phrase? Cherry Pick. Yeah. Perichita.

That's what I did. A new word. I was like, man, I'm so far. I know. I kind of, you know, whatever. But we choose, pick and choose the scriptures we want that make us feel good. But we don't read the whole Bible, which I think is such a disservice to this generation. You need to read the entire Bible and ask the Holy Spirit to help you understand the Bible.

He will do it every time. So always in the Word of God, I, towards the end of my prayer time, I'll put on worship music. because I love to worship and I'll sing just to Jesus talk to him, just fellowship with him. And I love corporate gathering, but there's something so holy about intimate, private time with Jesus. That's really the foundation of your walk with him. And you do need to gather corporately. I believe in that. But if you only gather corporately and never have time alone with him, I always say it's like a marriage.

If Michael and I only hang out with our kids and our staff and I have family and our church people, the people that come to our church, I should say, like, that's no intimate relationship. That's very surfaced. We're going to need to have actually time together to actually continue to keep that love alive in our hearts. Well, it's no different with our walk with Jesus. You have to have your own time with him. That's really what fills you.

That's what sustains you. That's what actually gives you authority to be used by him. And if you follow God for the stuff, like if you serve him just so you can be effective for him, that's not true relationship, because we all know what it feels like when you have a relationship, and it's just for what can you do for me? You feel used. So our walk with God is no different. You have to actually be with him just for him. And you get him. There's nothing better. Is that all Dean Becker message the other night? Yeah. Oh, that was so good. Yeah. But yeah, we have worship on a lot, but we have our own time with the Lord. And then we pray with our

kids. We pray together as husband and wife. But we're all, we're always with the Lord alone. And we taught our kids go in the room, open the Bible, talk to the Lord, in your room and private. Because if not, it's just you'll get too distracted. Yeah, I'm a little different. We're different people in different seasons in our spiritual life, right? So when I was seeking the Lord, I was telling Benny this today, because he was asking the same types of questions. And it's a great question, Ari, like, because the Lord, Jeremiah says that he is the Lord who hides himself and he's not from us but for us

right so the Lord loves to be sought just like any of us do and you see this on the road to Emmaus the Lord says I'm going on and his reasoning in the text is so funny Luke writes because it was dark it's like the Lord's not scared of the dark you know like big deal you know what I mean

it's like what was he doing why was he saying I will go on and the Bible says that the disciples constrained him and he stayed all they said is no no no you can't leave you have to eat with us he goes okay

he did it walking on water remember too yeah he's walking on water he was going to walk perfect I know he's gonna walk by him he is totally perfect

he's totally perfect he's gonna walk by him on the boat and they go whoa whoa what are you doing because he's on a mission and then that's the other side of him is we're like he loves to be wanted

too he loves to be loved he wants to be wanted He seeks to be sought. And so we say, oh, I sought the Lord. You sought the Lord because he sought you first. He said, the Son of Man has come to seek and save the loss.

Revelation 3. He's the one knocking on the door. And the Shulamite says that the beloved is outside whose hands are dripping with myrrh. And the scripture says that his locks are wet with the dew of night in the Song of Solomon. In other words, the picture, the mystical picture, and that's not a curse word, that's a very ancient Christian word,

it just means to experience God, that mystical picture is the Savior outside the door of our heart waiting long enough until his hair is wet. If you ever been to the Middle East or the Mediterranean, it's kind of like the Marine lair in Newport or something. It comes in, it's not raining, but it's damp out. Yeah, there's a mist. That's the picture. And so, this is a side of the Lord that wants to be wanted.

you see it throughout the Old Testament scriptures Genesis through Malachi is not God hates everyone it is a God calling his unfaithful bride back to him over and over again so that being said what Benny and I were talking about today on the way here was like he's like Baba well like what about this and this in prayer like do I listen to worship there was a time I did and that may come again right now

God is teaching me a few things in prayer in a new way the power of the scriptures as I pray them and teaching me to wait in deep silence like a deep quiet

and I tell our students people often relinquish and forsake worship because they want to listen to music That's true. Wow. Wow. And now, coming from a pastor who has the joy of serving a house like Jesus in it,

that God is blessed with an incredible worship community that's very special. I'm the first one to say, I love to sing. I love our musicians. I love what they do. It's a huge part of who we are. God likes music. Psalm 45, strings make his heart glad. I don't know why, but they do.

And so in certain moments, I'll call our strings players up if I really am feeling led in a certain direction, right? But there is a place in communion with God where somebody else's music isn't going to take you. And there's a sound to the silence of the heart. So right now I don't, Ari, I don't. Now, before I'm, if I'm like getting ready, if I'm on my way to service,

there are a few people that I'll listen to, worship-wise, but it's a small list. I listen to Ms. Coolman a lot before certain meetings because it's my DNA, it wakes something up. I'll listen to a lot of older, more ancient stuff. But for the most part in the mornings, the Lord is teaching me how powerful Psalm 4610 is. be still and know that I'm the Lord.

And that's been for like three years now. I think what the Lord does is, at least for me he's done this, and I think I speak for Jess as well, is throughout different seasons of life, the Lord teaches you to discover his presence in another biblical way. It's not unbiblical, but it's like, hey, for those four months,

I was touching something when I prayed in the spirit. For those three months, I was touching something waiting in silence. for those five months this song really moved me maybe this psalm did like last night I felt the Lord quickened me like I was laying down in bed

I thought the night was over when I felt the Lord go just very gently I would like time with you I was tired I'm very tired you know I was like okay so I went

and I read like two Psalms it lasted an hour because of well opened like in my heart So the point is, the Holy Spirit leads us and disciples us and teaches us how to drink from his well and where they're located.

And we see that through the journey of Israel. He takes them through different locations. Each location means something. We see that in the ancient church where there's singing, right? That's the Eucharist, obviously, the body and blood of Jesus, the scriptures, right? Prayer, corporate worship, corporate prayer, waiting in silence. These are always to encounter the Lord. And the only way to know what to do when

is some of these holy practices are very clearly taught in scripture. But they don't necessarily, the Lord doesn't necessarily tell you what to do in what order. some things he does, like Thanksgiving should precede praise. Praise should lead me into worship. Worship should lead me into a manifestation of his presence. And when his presence manifests, I should do nothing. That is a biblical pattern, right? But how to do that, when to do that, what to say, what not to say,

is completely dependent on a relationship with the Holy Spirit. Yeah. Wow. I live and I die by the secret place. It's the most important thing. I've discovered, I feel like in the last year that if I come on every Friday and Girls Gone Bible and tell them the exact same thing every Friday for the rest of my life, that's okay. I actually don't need to come up with anything new. Read the Bible. Elevate the word above everything else in your life and spend time with Jesus that costs you something. That actually is almost painful to. to spend that time because you're so pulled to starting your day and talking to people and going to work and being like, no, that is the time when you should be sitting and sitting in silence like you guys are saying. And I've also experienced so I've discovered

that it's about finding what he wants and what he likes and it's all about like instead of coming to the secret place wanting something, having the perspective that like I actually am going to offer him something. It's not just about receiving. It's about me giving him. And it just changed.

Then I'm not like dying for his presence because I'm aware that I've entered into his meeting. Like he's already called me there. I'm not waiting for him to come because he's already there inviting me. And so can you take us into what you just said about the Thanksgiving to praise, to worship, to presence? Because I think that's a really important thing. Yeah, I mean, the scripture says we enter his gates with Thanksgiving. his courts with praise. My heart is never to be critical,

but I do travel the world and I've had the joy of ministering in places I dreamt of. I'm not sure we're even getting past the gate. I don't mean, I can't say that in a uniform broad stroke because there are many beautiful things the Lord's doing. But, I'm not even sure we're getting to the gate in many cases

because to get to the gate of the tabernacle that the psalmist would have been referring to you actually had to get out of your tent and you had to do it when God said do it so you worship the Lord where he said to be worshipped You worshipped the Lord when he said he wanted to be worshiped. And you had to leave your comfort zone. Yeah.

And then you had to have something legitimate to thank him for beyond your bank account, which should be part of it. You should say, Lord, thank you for providing. But how about his blood? Yeah. How about the cross? How about the blessedness of his spirit? I mean, you know, when we talk about him, you feel him here.

Yeah. That's how wonderful he is. We start talking about him and he falls like a beautiful loving shepherd that he is. How about thanking him for making our body's temples of the Holy Spirit? I mean, that is, you could preach on that for the rest of your life that God has taken this body that I used to glorify the devil. He's taken this body that I used to make much of it.

Michael which is the most satanic thing you can do we think the most satanic thing you can do is run around with a pentagram on your chest and that's a bad idea by the way but the devil is very very okay with and rejoices when we're just all about us yeah that's like the most demonic thing you can do the doctrine of man is the doctrine of the devil so here jessica myself, all of us, prior to Jesus, we're not just committing sin, but like the children of Israel when they were enslaved in Egypt,

there's a powerful passage prior to Moses' deliverance when he delivers them. It says that Pharaoh demanded that they build him cities. And that's what we do for the devil when we're in sin. Our bodies build him strongholds. And the scripture,

The scripture says that, for example, with children, it's better to have a millstone tied around your neck than to offend one of these little ones. A millstone is the size of a washing machine. Wow. They would tie it to somebody's neck, throw them overboard, it would snap their neck, take them down to the bottom, couldn't move their body, and they'd slowly drown out.

Jesus said, it's better to have that happen to you than to offend one little child. Wow. this is what sin does it builds cities for pharaoh the devil then the lord jesus comes and reveals himself to us in his mercy the power of the cross is revealed to us is shed blood not only does he forgive our sin not only does he say we're not guilty but then proclaims us as being righteous not only does he you probably heard me preach this he doesn't change our lives he replaces them

he gives us his life for my horrific life and then takes this body that was once a tool for the devil and makes it a temple and the one who fills it is the uncreated God the Lord and the giver of life

the creed says of the Holy Spirit and we believe in the Holy Spirit the Lord and the giver of life. So the same spirit. Think of this. Hopefully, hopefully the Lord is anointing us right now so that each word will land.

The same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead. That's amazing. No one laid hands on Jesus. Nobody went to the tomb and held a prayer meeting. Nobody threw a prayer cloth on him. Nobody put the prophet's body on him. the Holy Spirit, that same wonderful Lord and giver of life, who created the heavens and the earth?

Who knows the amount of grains of sand and the entire earth, entire earth, and has weighed them? The Spirit of the Lord, who cannot be counseled. In other words, you can't instruct him, the scripture says. The same Lord of Genesis chapter 1, who took an earth in a cosmos that was formless, void, and chaotic. and dark, and then he moved, and God spoke when he moved, and light came, which speaks of the Messiah. That's still how the Lord reveals the light of the world to us. That amazing Holy Spirit

lives in you and I. That should make you thankful. But if you fly over these truths, oh, thank you for Jesus. It's like, hold on. You mean thank you for the uncreated God who came from the bosom of the Father? So Thanksgiving erupts in a people where Jesus is seen. And then the only response is praise. So I praise him because of his mighty works and because of his greatness. Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised. You were there Sunday night.

Waves of praise hit the building, right? During offering. During offering. during a video playing they weren't even actively playing but that one was really special but before that remember I tried to close and waves of praise it and they wouldn't let me leave

praise we praise him because of his greatness and his greatness is made real to us when we thank him when we praise he inhabits it he starts to live with in there praise is like a cinder block

if it's proper you don't get to choose it it has to be according to the scriptures. And when you do it rightly, he goes, I'll take that little building block and I'll make it a house. And if you have 10 people doing it, and then 15 and 20 and 2,000 or 3,000,

and they start praising the Lord, now you've got this house that he trusts and that he lives in. My only response when he starts to live there is to then worship because he becomes real to me. When I worship him, which is a low place and worship, as Dean Becker said, isn't relegated to a song it's the giving away of life

Genesis 22 Abraham give me Isaac give me the most precious thing to you that's worship and when I begin to worship God takes over when God takes over he benches us and when God benches us

he does everything beautifully and this is where beauty is revealed But, like, I always wanted people to be healed in a holy way. I didn't want to make entertainment of it. I didn't want to make much of me. I didn't want the pomp and circumstance. I would, Jesse will tell you, I said, Lord, you do it. You do it.

Confound the wise. Turn people away from me. Do it beautifully. I told Heidi Baker that when it first started happening. I said, Heidi, Heidi, before I used to lay hands on people. And that is beautiful. Don't get me wrong. It's in the scriptures.

Lay hands on the sick and they'll recover. But I dreamt of a day where in this beautiful elegance of worship, the Lord would come and do it. And I could watch him do it. And the first time it happened, I was sitting with Heidi.

And I said, Heidi, he did it. And she says, isn't it so much better? It's so cool. And it's not just about healing. But when the Lord is war, worshipped, which is death. We die. You die to the clock, especially out in LA, where you all are. There needs to be like a massive movement to die to the clock. I pastor there for years. I know it well. But that's everywhere. I'm not saying

you have to go 12 hours. Like, if you're going to have an unannointed meeting, make it short, because longer ones are just not fun. But you have to die to everything. Your preference, the preference of the people in worship, and he comes. And that's the best I can explain it. I'm sure there are much better ways. That was a great way to explain it. Thank you so much. R. Do you?

No. Unbelievable. I'm just completely engulfed enough. This is such a gift for us specifically. I, the presence of God. Is it a feeling? Is it, can it be measured? Is it always an encounter that is life?

What is truly the presence of God? Yeah. I mean, it's him. There you go. He's his presence. It's Jesus. And I think oftentimes we look for a feeling. You know, we do this a lot with the Holy Spirit.

You know, we just think it's a feeling. But, no, the Holy Spirit is actually a person with feelings, with a personality. And, yeah, the presence of Jesus is him. So instead of going after the presence, go after Jesus. Jesus, and when you go after the Lord, you get his presence. And sometimes it is super tangible. And, but again, it's, it's him. It's going after him in an intimate deep relationship. Right. You know those days when your mind just won't slow down, you sit down to pray or read, and suddenly

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Yeah, the presence of the Lord is the Lord. Yeah. So we asked you guys to come here, right? Thank you for coming, by the way. Thank you so much. We requested your presence. We didn't ask for you to send your bio or for you to send us a feeling of you. Now, you can feel the Lord. It depends on how you define that. The Lord is known, which includes feelings, but it's deeper, more broad than feelings. But I can't feel him. I feel him now.

And when he really graces us with his presence, you become more aware of him than people. And that's how you bless people the most. I always tell our church, I'll love you best when I love Jesus the most. So we requested your presence. You came. When we request the Lord's presence, we're requesting him.

And his presence is his glory, right? So Exodus 33, we see Moses crying out to the Lord for something that is so precious. It's one of my favorite passages in the scripture. sure. But for the sake of time in verse 17 of Exodus 33, he says, So the Lord said to Moses, I will do this thing that you have spoken. And what had he asked for? He had asked for the Lord. He said, don't send us to Canaan without you.

I'm happy to be on this land. It's a miracle. This house came with the land. That's a miracle. But I don't want to be here without him. I don't want to be in heaven without him. It wouldn't be heaven. So what Moses had actually requested was it was incredibly wise Like only the Holy Spirit could have let him He said in Exodus 33

You say I found grace in your sight So he's He's talking to the Lord like most people cannot And aren't allowed But because there's been this equity He goes Lord you say That I found grace in your sight you said that Lord then he goes

if I found grace in your sight show me your glory and he's going what is grace the supernatural presence of the Holy Spirit you're saying I found the presence of the spirit in your sight and since I have I'm going to ask for more

he didn't say since I found grace give me a bigger tent in Canaan I need six months more camels. He took what he had in God and used it to get more from God, of himself. So then the Lord says, okay, that's

what I just read to you. I will also do this thing that you've spoken. The Lord said, I'll give myself away to you. For you have found grace in my sight. And I know you by name. Now the Lord speaks to the relationship. He's saying, you and I have something

that's different than the rest of the camp of three million. see we say God doesn't have favorites that's not true because you can't have favor and not have a favorite being a respecter of persons is different when we talk about favorites or favor we're talking about

this person can be closer to God than the next person that's just the Bible God has really close friends and people who've chosen to not draw near I think it's a mistake Moses and Elijah showed up on the Mount Transfiguration? Why not some known name? Because they'd always been friends of God.

It's the same God. So here, he says, I know you by name. And then you hear Moses. Oh, man, this is awesome. He says, show me your glory. Okay, what is the glory? Which is really what you're asking. Verse 19, I will make all my goodness pass before you.

I in other words he said I'm coming your way now that's the presence of God that's the glory and I will proclaim the name of the Lord before you I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious I will have compassion on whom I have compassion but he said you cannot see my face for no man shall see me and live and the Lord said here is a place by me and you shall stand on the rock speaking of Christ Jesus so it shall be while my glory passes that I will put you in the cleft of the rock I will cover you with my hand while I pass by. So the presence of the Lord is the Lord. Then I will take away my hand and you shall see my back.

But my face shall not be seen. And then in verse chapter 34, the Lord introduces himself. The Lord, the Lord God, merciful, gracious, long suffering, abounding in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgressions and sin, by no means clearing the guilty visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children and the children to the third and fourth generation

then Moses made haste bowed his head towards the earth and worship so the presence of the Lord is the Lord so when we say unfortunately in revival culture we started saying I feel the presence I understand

I'm not critical but please be more clear whose whose we're talking about Jesus here Not some ethereal jitter. Right. When I say I feel the presence of the Lord, I'm saying, I feel the God of the ages coming close and revealing himself to me. That's a totally different thought process.

Thank you. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Could we talk about one of the biggest, things that people struggle with and Girls Gone Bible is condemning thoughts. We're noticing at our shows. We say, how many people feel like God is mad at you? Most of the room raised their hand. Wow. Could you speak on, I've heard many people say, I'm in my word, but I just

keep hearing those condemning thoughts. They're torturing me. Yeah. I used to really deal with that a lot and I honestly think I got free from that it's not been a long time maybe five plus years and every now and then I'll catch myself saying things like I just don't want God to be mad at me and um you tell them I remember I've been writing well that's what I was thinking about like when we were talking when they ask you those questions I mean yeah if you want me to go there I mean yeah like when they said remember they'd give you like a one word question yeah yeah that might help some people so um without going too deep in my stories and i don't have time for that but like so i just grew up with major issues rejection fear severe fear like since i was a child and um all kinds of pain

trauma you name it and so when we went to reading california for a season of our life just to get inner healing for me really um he was doing good but i was pretty i mean we were both our our marriage wasn't what it should be like we were just struggling but it's because i internally was struggling and you know had just had my my third child and i just i didn't do a good job of asking for help i was trying to like just have it all figured out so i was sitting with with someone that um was walking us through just some things and they said close your eyes and just say the first thing that comes to mind as soon as i say the word i was like okay and i never done anything like that before and they said ministry and I said pain and that freaked me out yeah like whoa and we've yeah we'd been in ministry

I mean I've been in my whole life and so like born and raised and now he's in full-time ministry and then they said um if people knew the real you what would they say and I said they'd be disappointed and he goes and how do you see yourself and I said worthless and like so we both started crying and I started crying because I didn't realize they really thought thought that of myself, it still makes me a little emotional because it just, like, it takes you back. And I always, I think maybe people grow up in church or people that never grew up in church. There's this thing of, like, performance that you feel like you have to look a certain way. You have to stand a certain way when you worship. You have to look the part. You have to have everything

together. You have to just be picture perfect. And that's got to die because the Lord is really looking for vulnerability and people that are authentically themselves. And like I said earlier, he loves us unconditionally. So he's not going to throw you out with your imperfections. Like in your weakness, that's when you're really strong because that's when you're clinging to the cross daily. And so I would always struggle with the Lord's mad at me or I would, you know, I'm very human. We were laughing earlier. Like sometimes when I drive and someone cuts me off, I don't like it. So, you know, I'm spicy still. I've always been a little spicy. And, you know, I'm just more sanctified spice now

but I'm still myself and why are you laughing? Sanctified yelling at people Well you know like I'm not cursing at them anymore but I still sometimes like catch myself and I'm like oh you know and I'll have a thought or I'll just whatever I'm still flawed like we all are still flawed beings

and I still need Jesus every single day and but like now I'm like okay, I'm flawed, but I'm bringing it to the Lord. I'm giving him my issues. I'm repenting of my sin. I believe repentance needs to come back to the body of Christ. And I repent all the time. I repent almost daily. And then I give it to the Lord. And then I like just kind of the Bible says he drives our sins as far as the east to the west. It's under the blood. So I've really had to learn to believe that. Like either I believe what the Bible teaches or I don't. So this whole thought process that a lot of Christians deal. And I will say, I think, girls deal with it a lot.

It's like this thing, this thought process of God is always angry at us or we can't please the Lord or we can't. Am I answering that correctly? There's just this condemnation. It's like we always feel condemned. You have to really find, I know it sounds so cliche, but have a deep walking relationship with Jesus and actually believe what he says about you. And, and not what people say about you. I think we have a deep fear of man issue in our generation where we really care. I don't think social media has helped that, by the way. I think it's only made it worse, where we really care what everybody thinks of us.

Like if we don't get enough likes on an Instagram post, we measure our value in that alone. And so dying to that, truly dying to self, only worrying about what the Lord says about you, and actually this sounds so silly but speaking words of affirmation that has helped me so much because I'm like a very tough critic on myself and I'm I've tried to get better with that but I still find myself doing it just it's just kind of been something it's been my nature for so long that I have to sometimes like tell myself stop it Jess like shut up like just stop saying this about yourself know who you are in the Lord and then when I read the Bible of course we read it every day but I speak it out loud a lot. Because I know that that has helped me personally renew my mindset,

like saying out loud who the Lord sees of me. And like a quick, quick story that might help a lot of your listeners. When I went through a really rough season when I went to Redding, California that God brought me out of. And I had a lot of issues in my life. And I remember when I started to minister and be used by the Lord a little bit more and all these things, a lot of people from my past would throw all my weaknesses in my face and be like, you know, we know the real you, you shouldn't be doing that. And it's true, the real me was really messed up. And I remember actually going once to Bill Johnson about that because he walked us through such a dark season, my dark season. And he said, you fought hard to get free. I watched

you. I was with you. You fought hard to get free from fear and rejection and shame and all these things. He's like, the Lord does not see you that way. People will see you this way, Jessica. He goes, but the Lord sees you as who you are in him. And he started to speak life over me. So I think you need to say it out loud, walk with Jesus closely, believe what he said about you. He loves you with an everlasting love. He loves you so much. He knows the hair is on your head. This is like, this is, oh my gosh, the most beautiful love you could ever imagine is the way Jesus loves you. And then I just remember to who the sun sets free is free indeed there is no i cannot be bound when i walk with jesus and simple things like that just set me free and then if i still struggle i'll find people

and sometimes you have to be really selective with those people because sometimes even the people that you want to be for you they they love you broken but you free sometimes it's hard and um unfortunately that's the case sometimes and I found people that really saw me rightly and sometimes when I was feeling even weaker I'd go okay I need you to tell me how you see me and they would speak life over me and we would partner with heaven and that help set me free from living in condemnation and shame yeah I think people people knowing you and speaking to you loving you and you giving them permission yeah even if they get it wrong occasionally yeah to speak really directly to you. Yes. I had that in my life. I still do. I had it with Joy Dawson.

Certainly my mom is that. For all of us. Her dad is that and other leaders in the body, but I had enjoy a laser-like encourager and corrector. But you know, I just was talking Proverbs 1624 regarding words that are spoken to you. Pleasant words are like a honeycomb. Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.

So I don't think we realize the power of conversation, the power of what's spoken. Yes, certainly is sweetness to the soul, which is mind-will emotions, but there's a physical component to negative talk as well. Yeah.

Or the opposite. Right? Pleasant words, the word of God has an effect on the entirety of our being. And so just what she used to have a saying. It was always, God's mad at me. And like, I remember our friends were like, chill out. But she grew up with a very, I think, self-measuring reality. And she does read her Bible out loud because I used to have to run. I couldn't. I'd be like one room over. Like, why do you read out loud? Like, are we in, is this story time?

I was a hard time retaining information too. Yeah, I'm actually dyslexic. You saw it earlier when I put the two words. I messed them up. Like, so I can't retain it if I don't read it out loud. Right, right. And I would love to tell your listeners too, God can use anybody. You don't have to be book smart or say everything right all the time.

Like, I, schools always was so hard for me. Now we're getting our masters in theology. Let's go. Like, so, you know, it takes me a little longer. to get things in him. Wait what? It takes me a little longer. I have to, like, read the same thing maybe four times

for me to, like, understand what I'm even reading. But the Lord is so beautiful. And, like, with the Holy Spirit, he makes Jesus so real. So there's, like, you understand things in a deeper way. But if I could read the Bible and love Jesus, anybody can, I promise. Another thing the listeners could do is write out chapters. Maybe start with verses. Yeah, you do that a lot.

So I do that every day. I write out you know you could start with Psalm 23 Psalm 91 John 1 Matthew 5

the Beatitudes and just that's how I've memorized scripture is I write and it's very it's a very spiritual experience

today I was writing John 1 and slowly and methodically praying it so I think that's a real simple tool for wow that is so good

well guys if it was up to us we'd keep you here all day and we want to talk with you guys all day But do you mind just quickly before we go, would you just lead people one of you to the Lord into one of the cameras and this is how we always end? Well, I was going to say you start.

Okay. You know, before you were ever born, the Lord knew that you would be watching this right now. He knew you'd be listening. There is nobody like Jesus. He knew you'd be facing exactly what you're facing. right now even though he doesn't want you in the pit that you're in he knew you'd be in it and he's not panicking but he is reaching out to you Jesus shed his blood for you this is the way he says I love you perhaps you've doubted whether or not God actually loves you listen to what

the scripture says for God so loved or in this way God loved the world that's everyone that he gave or offered as a sacrifice his one and only begotten son that whosoever and that includes you whosoever means whosoever would believe in him will not die that word belief means to trust and to cast your life upon him you say what is death death is separation from god the scripture says anyone who believes in jesus would not die but have eternal life. Jesus also said that if we came unto him, that we would lose our weariness, basically. He said, come unto me, all you who are weary? Are you tired today? He said, if you're heavy laden, are you carrying the weight of the world? He said, I'll give you rest for

your souls. You know, that's something a vacation can't do. It's something riches can't provide. I've often thought I've been to some of the most beautiful places in the world and I've told the Lord, Lord, this is beautiful, but nothing touches my heart like you do. He said you would find rest for your soul if you came to Jesus, the person. The scripture says that if we came unto him or believe in him or receive him, we would be called children of God. This Jesus shed his blood.

He was nailed to a cross. He was stripped and ached. kid he was beaten he was whipped until his bones were exposed he outstretched his arms in mercy and on that cross he said this father forgive them what a heart who says something like that who's being unjustly killed he still says father forgive them and maybe as you're listening or watching you're saying i've done too much you don't know me i want you to hear the words of the lord father forgive them for they know not what they do. And this same Jesus breathed his last.

And he was buried so that you would not have to stay in the ground or fear the grave. And he came out of the grave three days later so that one day you would come out to that your body would find a brand new body, a glorified body in him, and you would live with Jesus forever. The grave is not our home. To the Christians, to the saints, we don't really die we sleep and so we can face anything even death with a smile on our face

and knowing that jesus has overcome you say michael angela ari jess this is this is what i want i want to know him well i want to pray with you but i don't want you to just repeat a dead prayer i want us together to talk to the lord and the scripture says of the lord listen to these words has he who formed the eye will he not see you or does he not see you has he who planted the ear can he not hear you Jesus is right there with you right now

listening watching ready to forgive you and to fill you and make you his own let's pray heavenly father repeat this after me

heavenly father forgive my sin. Wash me in the precious blood of Jesus. Cleanse my soul. I'm sorry for grieving you and I'm sorry for breaking your law. I come to you today and I repent and I turn from this world. I turn from my sin. I renounce it and I renounce the devil. And I put all my faith, all my hope, all my trust in Jesus Christ, the son of the living God. And I believe, and I declare, that Jesus Christ is born of the Virgin, lived a perfect and holy life, a sinless life.

revealed the word and will of the Father in perfection suffered shed his blood died was buried raised on the third day has ascended to the right hand of the father

and will return again to judge the living in the dead. Precious Jesus, receive my life in Jesus' holy and wonderful name as I receive you. Amen. Amen. Amen. Thank you, Jesus.

Pastor Michael, Pastor, Jessica, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. We love you so much. We love getting to know you girls. You're amazing. Yeah, may the Lord, may the Lord, give you a hunger for his word. May you both live holy lives and may may you find at the end of your life

that you're more in love with him than you are now. And may keep you healthy and give you wonderful families and children that serve the Lord. And grandchildren that serve the Lord. And may you both hear well done, good and faithful servant

and may you preach his word to this generation in clarity and love and in boldness. That's our prayer for you. Thank you for all you're doing, your blessing. Thank you so much. Thank you for the honor. I know you guys have a lot going on.

Do you want to be our new co-host? Yeah. Do you have time? I just want to we. Just, yeah, be perfect. All right, guys, we love you so much. Thank you for being here. May the Lord bless you and keep you.

May he make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May he turn his face towards you and give you peace. Shalom, shalom, we love you.