Girls Gone Bible - Relationship Anxiety | Girls Gone Bible

Episode Date: November 1, 2024

hiiiii GGB:) this week we explore how Jesus meets us in our struggles with anxiety, OCD, and overthinking in relationships. Whether you’re battling anxious thoughts or wrestling with overthinkin...g, Jesus always offers comfort, healing, and peace. episode starts around 8 minutes. we love you so much. Jesus loves you more. -Ang & Ari JOIN US ON GGB+ 🥹❤️ https://ggb.supportingcast.fm/ WE ARE ON THE OFFICIAL GIRLS GONE BIBLE LIVE TOUR! www.girlsgonebible.com/tour for the first batch of cities we have locked in :) WE LOVE YOU AND CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOU! if you’d like to support Girls Gone Bible 🙏🏻🕊️🤍 Paypal- https://www.paypal.me/girlsgonebibleinfo Venmo- https://www.venmo.com/u/girlsgonebible

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, I'm Ange. And I'm Ari. And this is Girl's Gone Bible. You're loving this couch today, huh? I am really happy. You're feeling like a free bird right now. Look at her. I am really happy. You're feeling like a free bird right now. Look at her. I'm feeling good.
Starting point is 00:00:26 Yeah. Oppa, oppa, oppa. Oppa. Oppa. We promised that today we'd come on and not be weirdos. Thomas, can you shut off the monitor? Thank you. Yeah, thank you Thomas.
Starting point is 00:00:37 And you should probably stop staring at ourselves. What's up, Bart? We didn't even do the intro. Hi, I'm Ange. And I'm Ari. And this is Girls Gone Bible. We talk about Jesus in the Bible and mental health and sometimes relationships.
Starting point is 00:00:49 And today we're talking about relationship anxiety. Come as you are, just don't stay that way. Woo! What's up? So, for anyone who is new to GGB, I am like, I feel like I'm back in the future. No, not back in the future. Is that right? I feel like it's a blast from the past.
Starting point is 00:01:13 Yeah. This is bringing all the memories back. We started on this couch our very first episode, and I just get butterflies in my stomach every time we come on this couch. That is so cute. I was sitting here the first episode and a dress down to my knees, overly spray tan. I couldn't even look anyone in the eye.
Starting point is 00:01:34 I was so nervous. And look at you today and look at what God does. Don't tell me he's not real. Don't tell me that he can't do it because I know that he can. What's up, sweetie? What's new? Well, I went to Air One last night.
Starting point is 00:01:53 No, this was a couple nights ago. And I'm sitting there and I'm smiling at the guy and he's like making me my food plate. And he's like just looking at me and he's like, hey, can I talk to you for a second? I'm like, yeah, yeah, of course you can. Yeah, what's up? He says to me, he has a toothpick in his hand.
Starting point is 00:02:16 He goes, you got something covering your whole tooth. I thought he was supposed to say like, I like your outfit. I don't know. I'm sitting there cheesing at this guy. I look in the mirror. I have for my blueberry smoothie, I have a whole blueberry peel covering my whole left tooth. Speaking of blueberries from your smoothie.
Starting point is 00:02:40 I have another one. You always have a smoothie right before we film with the blueberries. I know. So I'm over there, he gives me a toothpick, he's like, I want someone to tell me. I'm like, oh my gosh, which means I had this thing in my tooth covering my whole front tooth the whole day because I had that smoothie earlier in the day. I'm never going back to Yerwan.
Starting point is 00:03:04 Wait, okay, hang on, how'd we get there? It was one of the most embarrassing moments. I didn't know what to say. I go, you're a real one? I swear, there's something about that, Erwan. I am always having the most insane spiritual encounters. I'm always evangelizing, I'm always praying for someone, or somebody's giving me a prophetic word.
Starting point is 00:03:23 It's how every single time I get a prophetic word I they are you always begin I don't get nothing people come up to me randomly on the street They're like hey I am a Christian and God just told me blank about you and I'm like wow that was spot-on It happens to me all the time really yeah, but specifically that air one. I don't know why Jesus. Can you give me a word? I don't know why. Hey Jesus, can you give me a word? Cheers.
Starting point is 00:03:45 You will. What's up with you? Well, we just had two of our GGB live shows in Fort Lauderdale in Tampa. Life changing. Life changing. Those were the best. They were the best.
Starting point is 00:03:59 We are having so much fun on tour. It is like, we're finally in a place where we're not so distraught by nerves that we're actually like, it is a beautiful spiritual experience for us as well. Even beforehand, we're not like insanely nervous and just like losing our minds. Me too, oh, why I wasn't.
Starting point is 00:04:21 I was not nervous. You gotta see me before the show, you guys. Once I see the faces of you guys, I'm like, okay, I can be. But you are like, you're always, whenever you're nervous, I'm always excited for you, because every time you're nervous, like you just have the ability to take your nerves
Starting point is 00:04:39 and use them to just amplify whatever you're gonna do. Because I'm fighting off demons, you know what I mean? Fighting them off. I'm fighting those thoughts, baby. We got victory. I'm rev God, baby! Hoorah! Can you tell them what happened with the speaking in tongues?
Starting point is 00:04:51 Right. With the praying in tongues? Oh, yes. Tell them. Right before our show, I was really nervous, and Angela's like, I want you to sit in this room, and I want you to start praying in tongues. Angela loves to speak in tongues.
Starting point is 00:05:07 I'm more like, I don't know, I'm not a big tongue-er. Jesus, help us, please please God. What did I just say? I can't. I really can't. Okay. I'm so sorry guys. Okay. I didn't mean to say that.
Starting point is 00:05:39 I'm not a big speaking in tongues person. So she said, I want to give you a few minutes and I just want you to like really like speak in tongues, speaking in tongues person. So she said, I wanna give you a few minutes and I just want you to like really like speak in tongues, pray in the spirit. And so she laughed and I was like, I'm gonna do it. And I got down and I just went into the spirit. I wasn't worried about what I was saying.
Starting point is 00:06:02 I just started speaking in tongues. This went on for about, I don't know, 30 minutes. I was completely out of my body. It was one of the most incredible experiences I have ever had. And I opened my eyes and it was like, I had the thought of like, I don't ever wanna just pray regularly again.
Starting point is 00:06:23 Like praying in tongues, something lifted off and I was just completely in the spirit. I love, I love, I know when you came out and you were like, I'm telling you, your eyes looked different. You were a completely different person when you came out of the room. And it's just praying in the spirit,
Starting point is 00:06:40 praying in tongues will move you from your head to your heart and it's just my favorite thing in the world. And you're right, it gets to a point where after you pray in tongues for a long time, it's like, because like Stephanie said, it's the perfect prayer, you realize that your own prayers can be so biased. And you're like, God, I don't even want to pray my own prayers. I want to pray what you want me to pray about. And so sometimes I'll find myself like having an hour long prayer session and I didn't say a word in English, you know. We were shabababin.
Starting point is 00:07:10 Shababababab. I think at some points it felt like I was speaking Chinese. I don't know. Do you know there are Chinese tongues, right? Yeah, have you ever done it? I haven't done it, but my friend, I have a friend who will like, sometimes, he's a pastor and he'll sometimes like break out in Chinese tongues.
Starting point is 00:07:29 Whoa! And everyone like tries. I'm hoping to get there someday. And everyone tries not to, like it's really, you can't help it's kind of funny because it's just like, like what is going on, but it's real and he gets really mad when people laugh. You guys better believe you're going to be catching me speaking Chinese tongues. Watch I'll be praying over you Chinese tongue soon at the show
Starting point is 00:07:47 If you hear our speaking Chinese, don't worry nothing's wrong Don't worry You're gonna be like, are? Come on. You sound demonic coming from me. Okay. Man, okay. So you guys, today we want to talk about, we are on the Girls Gone Bible Live Tour, and we want you to come and enjoy this night of like, it's just a beautiful night worshiping
Starting point is 00:08:24 Jesus together and talking about Jesus and getting to know Jesus more intimately and better. And so we really, really want you guys to come. So today, you guys, we're going to talk all about relationship anxiety, relationship OCD, overthinking in relationships. And so we want to read a little bit from Psalm 31. a fortress while I be safe. You are my rock and my fortress. For the honor of your name, lead me out of this danger. Pull me from the trap of my enemies and set me free, for I find protection in you alone. I entrust my spirit into your hand.
Starting point is 00:09:19 Rescue me, O Lord, for you are a faithful God. My enemies conspire against me, plotting to take my life. But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, You are my God. My future is in your hands. Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly. Let your favor shine on your servant. In your unfilling love, rescue me. Don't let me be disgraced, O Lord, for I call out to you for help. Let the wicked be disgraced. Let them lie silent in the grave. Silence their lying lips. Those proud and arrogant lips that accuse the godly." I should go through and read this whole psalm because it's just so important to speak and pray these psalms over yourself.
Starting point is 00:10:07 That's what I do, especially when I don't know how to pray or what to pray. When I'm very, very anxious, I go directly to psalms and I declare these psalms over myself that even if I feel in the moment like I'm not trusting God, I declare that God, I trust you. My trust is in you alone. Trusting God has been everything for me in my relationships. It has been absolutely everything. Relationship anxiety is the feeling of worry or insecurity about a relationship,
Starting point is 00:10:37 often leading to fears of rejection, inadequacy, or future uncertainties. People may question if they are good enough, if their partner loves them, or if the relationship will last. It's common in all types of relationships, especially in new or evolving ones, and typically fades as trust and familiarity grow. However, it can be persistent for some. Here's an example. Sarah is dating someone new and often worries if her partner truly cares about her. She might frequently seek assurance, text them to check in, or overanalyze their responses. This anxiety doesn't necessarily prevent her from being in a relationship, but it
Starting point is 00:11:22 creates occasional stress. And then relationship OCD is a subset of obsessive-compulsive disorder focused on one's relationship. It involves obsessive doubts about the relationship or the partner, leading to compulsive checking, seeking reassurance, or repeatedly analyzing the relationship's rightness. ROCD goes beyond typical worries as the thoughts are intrusive, unwanted, and distressing, disrupting daily functioning. An example is, Alex is in a stable, long-term relationship, but is plagued by intrusive thoughts about whether they truly love their partner. They might spend hours analyzing if they feel in love or if their partner meets
Starting point is 00:12:05 some ideal standard. This analysis and need for reassurance consume Alex's day, impacting work, social life, and their relationship itself. How has relationship anxiety affected you in the past? So I think with relationship anxiety, it has so much to do with our attachment style. And if you guys don't know, attachment styles, you can either be anxious, avoidant, anxious avoidant, or secure. And in most of my relationships, in a lot just like, not feeling completely secure in a relationship, I used to think that I was avoidant attachment, but I've realized that I'm actually anxious avoidant. So it's not just that I'm avoidant, like the avoidance stems from being anxious,
Starting point is 00:13:02 and it stems from like, a fear of abandonment and a fear of a multitude of things. And we'll get into that later. But yeah, so I think in the past, and it's so funny how much, even though this is an episode that's not completely based and centered around the gospel, Jesus is so intimately involved in all of this, in your relationships, in my personal story with how I relate to people in relationships. There's been just so much healing because I used to push people away so much, so much,
Starting point is 00:13:40 and I wasn't even aware of it. And like for me, I realized that there's just so much abandonment issues and there's so much like, when I was younger, before I knew Jesus, I guess we're just diving right into it, before I knew Jesus, I would kind of be a person who was like, oh, if this isn't good, if this isn't good for me, if they're not acting right,
Starting point is 00:14:07 if blah, blah, blah, like I'll just leave. Like I was always so ready to leave a situation, always so ready to abort mission. And I remember being like, almost taking so much pride in that, like thinking like I'm so tough and I'm so independent and I'm so like, I don't care. But really, it was all woundedness and all brokenness and all hurt, like a healthy person does not feel the need
Starting point is 00:14:37 to just jump ship every time a problem comes up. So before being in relationship with Jesus, and like I wasn't even aware of my brokenness, like I wasn't even aware of my brokenness, I wasn't even aware of the issues that I had, I thought it was so normal, and I would see other girls who would stay in relationships where they were being hurt and they weren't being treated well, and I remember just being like,
Starting point is 00:15:00 that will never be me, that will just never ever be me. And to a certain extent, that is a good thing. We must have standards and we must like be expected to be treated a certain way. We should be treated well and whoever we're dating or possibly getting married to must treat us with respect and kindness and like be very intentional with us.
Starting point is 00:15:24 But I used to like not even allow room for growth for people. I would literally just be like, if a guy isn't exactly who I want him to be, I'm not in the first sign of anything, the first thing they do wrong, I'm just gone. I won't even have a conversation with them. And the first thing that God began to do was be like, you're not acting like this anymore. First of all, you're never gonna have
Starting point is 00:15:49 a successful relationship because nobody's perfect. Nobody is gonna ever meet your ideal standard of perfection, like you have to be willing because you're not perfect either. You have to be willing to let people grow and have like mature conversations. But for me, the reason I was unable to do that, I mean, so much of it was pride.
Starting point is 00:16:12 All of it was pride. And like... All right, GGB, you know that I am always looking for ways to eat healthier, but my problem is, I don't know where to start. I want to find meals that are good for you, taste great, and are not insanely expensive. My life has been so busy lately that when I get home from work, truly, all I want to do is eat and go to bed. Who has the time to whip up a complicated dinner in the kitchen?
Starting point is 00:16:39 And it's also so expensive and unhealthy to order takeout all the time. I need something quick, I need something easy, and I need something nutritious. Prices for everything are so high right now and I'm really looking for cost-effective solutions for meals that are home cooked and convenient without breaking the bank. I want something that's easy to prepare and doesn't sacrifice my health. Listen, you aren't gonna see my meals on the Food Network, but I like to cook. I just want it to be easy and affordable for me and my friends who are always having dinner at my house.
Starting point is 00:17:11 And you know what? I finally found something that checks all of my boxes. Dinnerly. This podcast is sponsored by Dinnerly. Dinnerly is the most affordable meal kit I have ever come across with meals as low as $2.99 per meal. With my code GGB, you can get up to 27 free meals. And with Dinnerly, you can choose from over 100 delicious dishes every week, from steak dinners to oven roasted salmon or even your favorite takeout dupes.
Starting point is 00:17:40 My favorite recent meal from Dinnerly was their roasted chicken and veggies dish. So good, so tasty, so clean, it is so perfect for me. And you can also find meals that will help you party with ease this holiday season. Dinnerly is truly a lifesaver helping you stay stress-free with day-to-day meals while also offering convenient and affordable solutions for holiday hosting. My favorites from the Dinnerly offerings this season are some of their larger options that help serve a crowd like the holiday brunch boards, herb sausage stuffing, and the holiday lights gingerbread cookies. And the recipes are completely customizable. You can choose your own protein, you can swap in a low-carb side, or make a dish vegetarian.
Starting point is 00:18:22 They're also the only meal kit with a gluten-free customization. My stomach is truly growling just talking about Dinerly. I literally just cooked a recipe from Dinerly last night and all of my friends loved it and honestly you guys it was time for me to learn how to cook better and Dinerly has truly upped my cooking game. And this holiday season give the gift of great affordable food with Dinnerly. Head to dinnerly.com slash offer slash ggb and use code ggb for up to 27 free meals. Once again, that's dinnerly.com backslash offer backslash ggb for up to 27 free meals. And make sure you use our promo code ggb so they know that we sent you.
Starting point is 00:19:04 You know what I would do? I would get into a relationship with someone and then I would purposely find everything that was wrong because I was afraid of commitment. And so much of this obviously stems from childhood and the things that we've seen. And like, if you're like me, so there's like two categories.
Starting point is 00:19:24 There's someone who is avoidant and wants to like abandon the situation and the relationship. And then the other side of it is someone who is so anxious of being left that they hold on for dear life. And so if you're in a situation like me where you might be a little bit avoidant,
Starting point is 00:19:40 you might be a little bit, you mask your fear of abandonment with leaving first or something like that. I'm sure you can relate where you grow up in a situation where maybe you didn't see the perfect marriage modeled. Maybe you saw situations where people, relationships that were unsafe. And so your example of what a marriage
Starting point is 00:20:04 or a relationship is, is not ideal. relationships that were unsafe. And so your example of what a marriage or a relationship is, is not ideal. And so you're sitting there watching, being like, it's better to leave first than be in an unsafe situation like this. And so for me, I just never saw a relationship or a marriage that had like healthy conflict or healthy communication.
Starting point is 00:20:23 And so, yeah, and it just really all boiled down to pride. I, pride, but like the pride, what I've learned about pride, even though it's a sin and it is a sin, pride is so sad because it's just brokenness. That, and you're masking your brokenness. And so, yeah, I, when I entered into a relationship with Jesus,
Starting point is 00:20:48 it's one of the first things that he began to break down in me where he was like, why don't you just stick in something and let yourself be vulnerable enough to let this person in on what you're feeling? So he did it with me, he used me. He did use you. Did he? Oh yeah. You swear?
Starting point is 00:21:05 You are like a massive thing. You have been, do you know what a gift you've been in my life? Because you're the first situation where God is like, you can be vulnerable and let someone in on when you're weak and you don't have to just leave. Like not everybody, like people won't just leave if they see that you're weak. That's been like my biggest, it's so crazy. have to just leave. Like not everybody, like people won't just leave
Starting point is 00:21:25 if they see that you're weak. That's been like my biggest, it's so crazy. You've been mine too. Why, have I been yours? He used you as my training partner and he used me as yours. I know, it's so crazy to cater to our specific, cause okay, can we get into yours a little bit
Starting point is 00:21:41 about how you feel you've related to relationship anxiety in the past? Yeah, I guess mine would be, I was very anxious attachment, because I just like, you know, it goes back to how you grow up. If you had to like grow up really fast, and you had to fend for yourself, if your parents were always at work, I always had that, like, I was always in that fight or flight where I had to be the parent. And so for me, like, since I was just 16, I was always in relationships
Starting point is 00:22:14 because that was my form of safety. Like, I didn't know how to be alone because I was so scared to just be on my own. And so that's where I had all my identity, my safety, my everything. I didn't love myself, I didn't feel good, so I thought I would find my love insecure. I would feel secure and just at all in men.
Starting point is 00:22:39 And the minute it ended, I would just fall to pieces and I felt so unsafe. And it was like a really scary feeling for me. So that's been my journey with relationship anxiety and I would give so much to the person, to the point where I would abandon my own needs. So for years and years up until recently, I didn't think about myself.
Starting point is 00:23:08 It was all about that other person. I would give everything and I just completely was so lost in myself. And it's so sad because I see it all the time. And then, you know, you go through a breakup and people get into other relationship and it's like a band-aid and they keep repeating and repeating and they have no idea who they are.
Starting point is 00:23:29 And I guess just for me, people are like, oh, you're still single. And I'm like, yes, and it's hard some days, but it's been just nothing less than a gift because I've gotten to stand firm on my own. I mean, I was just talking about this with you yesterday. How can you believe what God did for me just being alone, like how He worked in me? So I know how to stand alone and that's like just been the most wonderful gift in my journey.
Starting point is 00:24:01 And can I just say with like, I know you guys hear all the time singleness is a gift, it's a gift, but it really truly is the biggest gift because if you find yourself, which most of us do, in these repeating cycles where you're doing the same thing over and over again, the only way to stop that from happening and to break that cycle is to take an extended period of time in singleness. And so often, the amount of time that you need to be single does depend on what your past looks like, how long you've been in relationships, how long these cycles have been going on. So I love that you say that.
Starting point is 00:24:39 And it's so like, we might sound like broken records, but we're just going to keep explaining this to you guys over and over again that if you are, if God has you records, but we're just going to keep explaining this to you guys over and over again that if you are, if God has you single, if you're a child of God, if you follow Jesus, and you're in a situation where you're single and you are, it's just excruciating and you want to have a partner and you want to be married, I promise you that God has you in the perfect place because He's doing something. This waiting season is not wasted. You're not waiting for no reason. You're waiting expectantly and God is doing something in you and he is breaking cycles in you and it's so
Starting point is 00:25:15 important and I see it literally with you. It's the most beautiful thing in the world. Yeah it's when I think about when I was in like, you know, my last, whatever, in my last relationship, and I think about the anxiety of it, and I just remember the thoughts, the ruminating thoughts that all day, just being like, if something happened, does he love me enough, did I do something wrong, is he gonna leave me, is it okay,
Starting point is 00:25:44 and like, it's all day, the ruminating thoughts. And that's because I didn't know who I was. I didn't stand firm in who I was. When you have your identity, your whole identity, and another person, you can't, you're lost. There's no, you cannot be in a relationship when you don't know who Jesus is.
Starting point is 00:26:04 Because when you find Jesus know who Jesus is. Because when you find Jesus, you find yourself. And that's why I truly believe with my whole heart, you guys have been on this journey with me since the beginning. You've healed with me, you've heard me cry, you've seen my heart, you've just seen my brokenness, and we've all been going through it together.
Starting point is 00:26:24 And I believe that God has me in my singleness season still. So you guys can hear me say to you, me too. Because one of the things that is when you think about healing and relationship anxiety and just going through breakups is just having someone like a sister or a friend or a mentor to just be like, hey, me too. Yeah. I'm going through it with you. I'm healing with you. Let's process this together. So I it's been just it's been so beautiful to just go through this with you guys, because I know like I've been meeting so many of the girls at the show and they're like, hey, like,
Starting point is 00:27:03 I've been following this with you from the beginning. And like, we've been meeting so many of the girls at the show and they're like, hey, I've been following this with you from the beginning, and we've been going through this together. You've made me feel less alone. And so I'm like, I will go through my breakup all over again just to know that it's helped you guys. But I know that feeling of just being in complete anxiety all day. And my advice to you is, get to know Jesus, I know that feeling of just being in complete anxiety all day. And my advice to you is get to know Jesus,
Starting point is 00:27:29 because when you get to know Him, when you seek Him with all your heart, that's when you find yourself. And when you truly find yourself and you seek Him and you spend time with Him alone, then that's when freedom and rest and peace comes in. And that's when you won't need to fill that void of your life anymore.
Starting point is 00:27:49 You're not hanging on to someone so tight that if someone wants to walk out, you're like, okay, I don't need a person to fill my life because I have Jesus. Only Jesus can fill the void in your life. So good. It's so good and it's so true. I think along with what you're saying,
Starting point is 00:28:10 I just think that there's so much healing that, and we'll get to practical examples of, you know, someone, we got so many questions from you guys as well, and people are asking like, how do you know if it's just relationship anxiety or if it's discernment and like you have a reason to be anxious. And I want to get into that because I have a story that I want to tell for that. But I also just want to say that if you're in a situation where your relationships are so affected by your upbringing, there's probably
Starting point is 00:28:39 so much healing that needs to happen. And I know for me, one of the main things that I've gone through with Jesus is healing things from my childhood, healing things from just brokenness that has happened along the way to prepare me to eventually be a really good wife for somebody one day. And like, I, we wholeheartedly believe in therapy, all types of therapy, talk therapy, ERP therapy. But again, I'll say it and I'll always say it that the presence of God is the best therapy in the world. Abiding in Jesus, worshiping Jesus, inviting Jesus and being in constant communication
Starting point is 00:29:20 and communion with Jesus and inviting Him into your heart and your situation, what I have done, and this is just practically one thing that I do with God is like, I will get into my quiet time in the morning and I'll put on worship or I'll put on just like an instrumental and I'll begin to pray. I'll pray in the spirit or I'll pray in words and I'll be like, Jesus, just take me where you want me to go. Where do we wanna go in this little hangout between you and I'll be like, Jesus, just take me where you want me to go.
Starting point is 00:29:45 Where do we want to go in this little hangout between you and I? And so often, He'll take me to periods from my childhood and things that I went through and really traumatic things that have happened and He'll show me where He was during it. And that's like one of the main things that we're going through right now. I'm going through this journey of seeing myself as a little girl and he'll take me and like one of my main things of my life is that like I don't remember my childhood. I don't remember. There has been something that happened where I've blocked out so much of my life and I've learned that that's some sort of a trauma response and it's like PTSD. And so there's so much of my childhood that I don't remember, except I have these horrible
Starting point is 00:30:30 flashbacks of things. But there have been so many moments in my quiet time in the secret place with Jesus where He'll so gently and kindly take me to these really bad moments. He'll show me where He is in it. He'll show me how He was covering me. He'll show me how He was in it. And it heals something in me. And I can move forward with my life from it. And so I just want to encourage you guys to ask Jesus to take you on a journey of things you need to heal because everything that we deal with, all of our relationship anxiety, all of our relational issues come from our
Starting point is 00:31:09 childhood and there's so much that every single one of us have to heal no matter if you had the best childhood or the worst childhood. Things were messed up for all of us. We all live in a fallen world. We've all been through things. As children we just we accumulate trauma along the way. And so I just want to encourage you guys that like, whatever you're facing in your relationships, there's so much healing for it and Jesus is with you in it and he wants to heal it. So please, next time you're in quiet time, just be like, don't just like throw all these prayers at God, be like, Jesus, take me on a journey. Where do you want to go today?
Starting point is 00:31:44 throw all these prayers at God, be like, Jesus, take me on a journey. Where do you want to go today? I love that. Typical children's vitamins are basically candy in disguise, filled with two teaspoons of sugar, unhealthy chemicals, and other gummy junk that growing kids should just never eat. And that's why Haya was created, the pediatrician approved super-powdered chewable vitamin. And while most children vitamins are filled with at least five grams of sugar and can contribute to a variety of health issues, Haya is made with zero sugar, zero gummy junk,
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Starting point is 00:33:27 To claim this deal you must go to hayahealth.com GGB. This deal is not available on their regular website. Go to Haya h-i-y-a-h-e-a-l-t-h.com slash ggb and get your kids the full body nourishment that they need to grow into healthy adults. I had to fight really hard and you guys are talking to someone who's still, I'm still healing. I really am, I'm still healing. Little practices that I do, I make sure that I go in my secret place in the morning and there has been days that I don't and I can feel it when I don't.
Starting point is 00:34:08 So really spending the time in the morning. I have had to fight like I was in battle this past two years. I've had to fight through anxious thoughts. I've had to fight so hard, but I didn't stop fighting. so hard, but I didn't stop fighting. I had to, when we are in isolation, I believe like anytime that I have sat in a dark room or in my house alone
Starting point is 00:34:34 during my ruminating thoughts and depression, it's almost felt like it is creates like an atmosphere for the enemy to get in. Anytime I'm like in my home by myself, the tormenting thoughts are so loud, it's like they eat me alive. So I think when you are going through a time of anxiety, ruminating thoughts, depression, with relationships,
Starting point is 00:35:00 the worst thing you can do is sit alone. We need to be in community. We need people. So processing it with community, processing it with someone you're safe with. Healing is not a quick fix, but every single day people think faith is like being really tough. You can still cry and mourn, but have faith,
Starting point is 00:35:24 but it's every day making the decision to say, Jesus, I put it in your hands, have your way. Please help me with my thoughts. And just knowing that it's not a quick fix, it's a process. I'm still processing things. You know, we go through, there has been, there's things that we have been through in our lives
Starting point is 00:35:48 that truly are not our faults, but it's our decision to fix it. It's our, so not staying in victim mode. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, so good. There's been times where I have sat in victim mode being like, I'm never going to get better. And we have to be stronger than that.
Starting point is 00:36:07 We have to fight. We have to get therapy. We have to read our Bibles. We have to get the Word of God imprinted in our hearts. The promises of Jesus is true. And if you believe in Jesus, you will believe Him when He says that He is with you, that He will bind up your wounds, that he will renew your mind. Like we need to find a word for the season that we're living in and literally
Starting point is 00:36:30 speak it out loud every time the thoughts come in. So good, that's so good. And it's, you have to find the scripture and the word that apply to your specific needs and situations. Because if you're someone who deals with overthinking and severe anxiety, there's so much scripture for that. There's so many Psalms that you can speak over yourself that casts out fear. Somebody asked us a question, how do you not have fear in your relationship? And there's a scripture that says, perfect love casts out fear. Jesus is perfect love.
Starting point is 00:37:09 Fear is the opposite, is in direct opposition for everything that Jesus is and stands for. And so perfect love is what casts out the fear. So if you have fear, to overcome fear, it's not just the absence of fear, but it's the receiving of the perfect love of Jesus that will expel that fear. That's how you overcome.
Starting point is 00:37:30 You don't have to just pray away fear all day. I understand rebuking fear. I get it, I do. I rebuke fear in the name of Jesus. But along with that, I receive the perfect love of Jesus because once I rebuke something and once I command it to leave my body and my spirit, I have to replace it.
Starting point is 00:37:48 You know the scripture that's like, why when your house is empty, when the demons flee, but then they come back to an empty house, they bring back seven times more. That's because you have to replace whatever was in you with something of Jesus. You have to refill yourself with love with God. And so for me, I pray that when I'm feeling anxious,
Starting point is 00:38:10 I say, Jesus, would you pour your love in me? I need to receive your love. Would you give me your love? Would you fill me with your love? And then if you're someone who is anxious, avoidant, and you, I mean, you guys, my number one goal in life right now, this is where I'm at in my journey, is I have been putting on a tough girl act for a really long
Starting point is 00:38:32 time and the jig is up, it's over, God has broken me down so much and I have no choice but to face my pain, I have to face my brokenness, and there is no more masking it with pride. And so he's taken me into a season where I have been gifted like the best people in the world, Ari being one of them, who have made it, who have made me feel so safe to be vulnerable and to show my weakness. And that weakness isn't unattractive. It doesn't turn people off. Brokenness isn't unattractive.
Starting point is 00:39:12 People won't just leave. And so I just know for me and for so many of you guys, we put up these walls throughout our lives because of pain, because of trauma, because of relationship hurt that we've experienced. And then what I've learned in my relationship with Jesus is he's like, people are always going to fail you. People are always going to disappoint you.
Starting point is 00:39:38 They're never going to love you completely correctly the way that I do. However, because I am with you, because I am for you, you don't have to put your trust in man. You can put your trust in me. He's like, I am to be trusted. And so you can be rest assured that I will have your back through every situation. And then do you mind if I just read this little part in Luke?
Starting point is 00:40:04 I'm so proud of you, Anne. I love you so much. I really am so proud of you. Well, can I say you've been instrumental in this for me? You have shown me what it's like to stay. You've shown me what it's like to be vulnerable and to just stay and to be like, hey, people aren't perfect,
Starting point is 00:40:22 but not everybody's inherently bad. Well, you've shown me what it's like that all the things that I thought were so bad about myself are actually so beautiful. And so you've given me the openness to be able to be myself when I wasn't, I couldn't be in my last, my other relationship. We're not dating. I love you so much. I love you too. There's this moment in Luke chapter nine, no sorry, Luke chapter seven where it says the disciple, so you guys know John the Baptist. John the Baptist from the beginning of the Gospels, he's the one who used to, he was the prophet who used to baptize people before Jesus came. And he's the one who says, he's the one shouting in the wilderness, prepare the way for
Starting point is 00:41:16 the Lord. So John the Baptist is the one who literally prepared everybody during that time for Jesus's coming. And so he was instrumental in like just everything, in Jesus' ministry, in him, he baptized Jesus. Like he knew, he saw, he literally saw the dove fall from heaven, come down from heaven, and descend on Jesus to signify him as the Messiah. So he has had like physical and spiritual and like all the proof in the world to know that Jesus is who he says he is
Starting point is 00:41:47 But then you find in Luke chapter 7 that it says that John the Baptist doubts Jesus It says that Jesus eases John's doubt and it says the disciples of John the Baptist told John about everything Jesus was doing so John called for two of his disciples. He sent them to the Lord to ask him, Are you the Messiah we've been expecting, or should we keep looking for someone else? John had his disciples ask Jesus that after seeing the proof, after knowing, after being basically prepared his whole life for this one moment, he still doubted Jesus. At that very time, Jesus cured many people of their diseases, illnesses, and evil spirits, and he restored sight to many who were blind. Then he told John's disciples,
Starting point is 00:42:36 Go back to John and tell him what you have seen and heard. The blind see, the lame walk, those with leprosy are cured, the deaf hear and the dead are raised to life, and the good news is being preached to the poor." And he added, "'God blesses those who do not fall away because of me.'" And John's doubts in Jesus were all natural. And the beautiful thing is Jesus did not rebuke John for his doubt, he didn't get offended by him.
Starting point is 00:43:03 Jesus can handle our doubt, Jesus can handle our questions. And it is completely natural to have anxiety. It's completely natural to ask God, where are you in this situation? Where are you in this relationship? Where are you in my anxiety? And I just encourage you guys to bring everything to Jesus and know that he is not fragile.
Starting point is 00:43:24 God's ego is not like ours and He can handle your questions. And another thing is you can hold God to His word. You can't challenge Him. You can't test Him. You can't mock Him. Absolutely not. But you can say, Hey God, you say in your word that where the spirit of the Lord is, there's freedom and I'm holding you to your word,
Starting point is 00:43:45 and I'm asking for freedom from my anxiety. Pray something like that and see the power that falls from your prayer. It is so, God loves when we hold him to his word because he's faithful. He's faithful and his promises are true. And so for me, every time that I'm in serious anxiety or uncertainty, I'm like, Hey, Jesus, I don't
Starting point is 00:44:05 see you in this yet, but I'm holding you to your word that says that you are in this with me. Colossians one says, Christ lives in me. I read that this morning and I was obsessed because it was like, you cannot, you cannot overlook these things in scripture that we hear so much. Christ lives in me. That means that Jesus, the Spirit of Jesus Himself is within me.
Starting point is 00:44:29 He's not far away. He's not in a far away land in heaven. Like he's in it down here with us, with me. And he cares. He cares about your situation. He cares about the tiny details. And he cares so much about your anxiety. And so if you will allow him, if you invite Him into it, God will legitimately show you,
Starting point is 00:44:50 He will give you like a bird's eye view and be like, this is what He does with me all the time. I'll be so in my mess, in my anxiety and like I'm not looking at Him because all I can see is my mess. And I'll be like, Jesus, I need you to broaden my view and show me where you are in this and what you're going to do with it, because it does not look promising right now.
Starting point is 00:45:11 My relational issues, which are, for me, the worst things in the world. Ari knows this. I can handle conflict, but I can't handle relational issues. It affects me deeply. When Ari and I are in a little bit of scuffle, I am not someone who can just be like, everything's going to be okay. Like I know it's going to be okay, that's my sister, we're always going to be good. But even in the most tiny minuscule like
Starting point is 00:45:36 thing, I can't handle it. And so for me, I'll be like, Jesus, I don't see you in this. And He'll literally broaden my view and then show me step by step why it is the way it is, how we're gonna fix it. And then he literally always comes through with his promises. This episode is sponsored by Truth Jewelry. You guys, I am so excited to share Truth Jewelry with you. Their pieces are seriously stunning,
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Starting point is 00:46:39 Use code GGB at checkout for 10% off. Just head to truthjewelry.com and treat yourself to something stunning. That's trthjewelry.com and use code ggbatcheckout. Listen, anxiety comes from not feeling safe. Anxiety comes from not feeling good. You're on edge, you don't feel good. When you comprehend the love of God, when you understand his love, when you understand how loved you are, how he will literally rescues you out of the worst situations, how he's with you, how all of that,
Starting point is 00:47:27 that calms your nervous system. It renews the mind. It puts you in a position where you feel safe and you feel secure and you don't feel like you need to hang on to anything fleeting tightly. You can quietly, you can rest. And so I will just, I will say this, I sound repetitive, but when you understand God's love, that is when the thoughts, the everything,
Starting point is 00:48:00 they subside. When people ask me, ah, how do you not have overbearing thoughts like you did? It's because I stay close to Jesus every single day. I make the choice every day to stay close to Him, to really get the word in my heart. And I stay close to Him every day. I don't... It's all day too. It's all day because He is my light.
Starting point is 00:48:28 That's why they say come out of the darkness and into my light. He is the light of my life. So to be apart from Him, I make the decision every day that I have a Father who's with me so I'm going to stay as close as possible to Him because apart from Him, there's deception. I want to read you a scripture. In Romans 8, verse 6 through 11, it says, the mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. And so I think that's been a huge thing for Angela and I in our journey with Jesus is getting out of the flesh and in the spirit, getting out of the sin, getting out. When we are like living, when we were living in sin, we couldn't have any peace and relationships.
Starting point is 00:49:16 Our minds were constantly in anxiety and destruction. I don't know about you, but that's how it was for me. I was not at peace. I was constantly overthinking because I was living in the flesh. There is nothing that profits from living in the flesh. That is where we think that, oh my gosh, we have anxiety. It's in our blood. It's from, yes, although we might have had trauma as kids, we also, living in sin, creates death. It creates anxiety, creates a lack of peace
Starting point is 00:49:47 in our mind. So if you're wondering, why do I feel this in relationships? Why do I have ruminating thoughts? Well, you have to ask yourself the questions. Am I living in sin? Am I living by the ways of the world and in my flesh? Because when you are living in the Spirit, although your life will never be perfect, you have a peace that surpasses all understanding. You are out of the darkness and into the Spirit, into the light. And so I just want to tell you guys, if you are in this constant state of anxiety in your relationship, are you pursuing purity? Are you living in this constant state of anxiety in your relationship, are you pursuing purity? Are you living in holiness?
Starting point is 00:50:27 Because that is one of the biggest ones of anxiety and depression and ruminating thoughts. And as soon as I changed my ways and I changed my life, that is when my mind was completely free of the bondage. That's when the healing really began. Yeah. Listen, I love you guys so much. We love you so much.
Starting point is 00:50:53 If you're not pursuing purity, if you're living in sin, if you are in an ungodly and sinful relationship and you're struggling with peace in your relationship, there are really practical first steps that you can take and that is to abandon the sexual sin and to follow Jesus rightly and to pursue purity and to pursue holiness. Just like Ari's saying, you will not have peace in your relationship, in your heart, in your spirit, or in your mind, when you are living in sin, it's just not going to happen. It is not a cliché. It is God's truth that living in sin,
Starting point is 00:51:32 it will lead to death. The wages of sin are death. Can I tell you two specific relationship stories? One of them you kind of know about. The other one you kind of... Okay, well I'll just tell you. So one of them, because somebody asked, how do you know if it's relationship anxiety or if you're actually discerning something? And one of them I just want to say, so there, I've only had one situation where someone really, like, I was being really deceived behind my back. And it is, I was probably walking with Jesus, really walking with Jesus for like a year. And it was one of the most, I've said it before on here, but it like marked my life forever. It was one of the most trust building things with God.
Starting point is 00:52:12 It's like discernment. All of the spiritual gifts are something that you have to exercise. A prophetic gift you have to exercise. Healing you have to exercise. Discernment is something that you have to exercise too. It's something that you practice and it's healing you have to exercise. Discernment is something that you have to exercise too. It's something that you practice and it's like you step out and you use discernment and sometimes you get it right,
Starting point is 00:52:33 sometimes you don't. And God teaches you over time how you're gonna discern and like what his discernment sounds like. And so I'm in this situation, listen to this. So I go on like a ski trip with this guy that I'm dating. I had spent a week in complete turmoil, like knowing something was so unbelievably wrong. I believe that anxiety comes,
Starting point is 00:53:02 I think that when God speaks, he speaks in peace, and that doesn't mean that it feels good, but there's like a peace and a confirmation in it when you're really walking with God. And then relationship anxiety, I feel like will be anxiety that has no basis and it has no, like, has no, it just isn't in reality, like it's not realistic, there's no basis to it, there's nothing about the anxiety that has truth,
Starting point is 00:53:28 like it's not grounded in anything. It's like the heart fluttering, the sweaty hands, that's anxiety, that's not discernment. Yeah, and so I'm in this situation where I'm on a ski trip and I'm going down the ski mountain and I have no idea what's going on, but there's something deep, deep in my spirit. And I know what anxiety feels like
Starting point is 00:53:49 and this wasn't just anxiety. There was something so deep in my spirit that something is wrong and I'm being deceived. And I had no idea what was going on yet, but I knew. And all I kept hearing from God is just wait, just wait. I will show you, just be patient. And so in this moment, it wasn't just anxiety. I had a deep knowing and understanding and I was seeking God and I felt there was confirmation on this and I waited it out and I was patient and I
Starting point is 00:54:18 came to the conclusion and God literally did this grand revealing of the secret that was being kept and I was being deceived. But that was a situation where I literally was praying that God would remove the anxiety and he wasn't because there was something wrong. And this person's actions were proving to me that something was up. And so I have one more other situation where I was, I had a boyfriend who we had a great, the relationship was fine, but this person didn't treat me exactly how I deserved. He wasn't completely intentional, he was not.
Starting point is 00:54:57 Who was that? Oh. He wasn't completely intentional. He was not, he was a void in himself. And so he was completely like, I didn't have peace because I knew that this guy wasn't being intentional with me and he wasn't pursuing me properly
Starting point is 00:55:15 and he wasn't being affirming and there was no security in it, so of course I had so much anxiety. And I was praying to God every day being like, Jesus, I'm so irrational. Will you get rid of the anxiety? God, I rebuke the anxiety. And I look back at God being like, no, it's telling you something.
Starting point is 00:55:33 You're not being treated right. Like your anxiety is valid because of this person's actions. And sometimes I feel like we feel like the problem in a situation, but the person we're with, he is making us feel that way, or she is making you feel that way. And there are situations where you have to be careful
Starting point is 00:55:52 of relationship anxiety. If your partner is being affirming, intentional, pursuing you, there's so much security, you don't actually have a reason to be jealous, but you are jealous and you are anxious, then that's something to look at and be like, okay, this is something that needs counseling and prayer because there is no basis.
Starting point is 00:56:10 But if you're in a relationship, I see this all the time where we blame ourselves for being irrational and crazy and jealous, but we have no security with the person that we're with. Like you are valid in the way that you feel and your anxiety is actually trying to tell you something. But the person you're with, I just wanna say this one last thing.
Starting point is 00:56:31 There are relationships that will cause so much anxiety because the person is not being authentic, they're not being intentional, and they're not being affirming, and there is no security. And whatever relationship you're in, either they're making you jealous or it's not leading towards the one thing it should be going to. None of us should be dating for so long for no reason.
Starting point is 00:56:53 All of our goals should be marriage, should be a God covenant in marriage. And so if you're in a situation where someone isn't being intentional or pursuing you correctly and you're having anxiety, again, you are valid in feeling that and it should tell you something. Just preach it, sister. I thank you for saying that, I completely agree. If you're someone like I am who had anxious attachment style,
Starting point is 00:57:20 who you're trying so hard to please the other person, you abandon your needs for their needs. And they are sitting there saying to you, I don't know if I'm ready. And then you're wondering, well, and... See how upset I just got? And you're wondering like, well, why, I don't know why I'm like this. You know, same, just like you said you said, why do I have anxiety?
Starting point is 00:57:46 Well, it's because it's for a reason. And so really check your heart posture of all of that. Are they being committal? Are they having one foot in and one foot out? Yes, we've had trauma in our lives. We also have to look at the facts, right? I always say, let's look at the facts. Let's not look at the way we feel. Let's look at actually what's happening and you guys should do that too
Starting point is 00:58:08 in your relationships. Are they, do you have a valid reason for feeling this way? Are they telling you, well, I don't know when I'm going to be ready and I'm just not there yet. And you're sitting there two years go by and you're still waiting. Well, yeah, of course you have every right to feel the way you feel. of course your mind is gonna be racing. You know? Yeah. But I think the thing with relationships too, on the other hand, is like, we watch these movies
Starting point is 00:58:35 and everything looks so perfect, like the notebook, and we're sitting there wondering, well why don't I feel like that? And are they the right one? And we keep questioning and it's like, life is not like that. And if anyone could understand that, love stories are not like the movies. There's trauma.
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Starting point is 01:00:32 PrettyLitter.com slash ggb. Terms and conditions apply. See site for details. What I was going to finish off on saying that is find a partner that you can be secure with. Find a partner who you can talk to with find a partner who you can talk to find a partner You can communicate with again not to bring it back to me and Ari But our friendship has been so healing in me It has broken down my walls of pride because I'm sitting across from somebody who validates me
Starting point is 01:01:00 Who's there for me who welcomes. And if there are moments of irrationality where everything I'm feeling is ridiculous and has no basis in reality, the other person meets me and is like, there's clearly a wound here and I'm here for you and let's get to the bottom of it, somebody that you can be vulnerable with. If we don't have that, you guys,
Starting point is 01:01:20 we have no shot at a relationship. Somebody who just shuts you down every time you want to bring something up we all have anxiety we all have relationship anxiety we all have fears of abandonment every single person so we all have to be a people who welcome the other person with no judgment and just saying I don't care if it's irrational let's get to the bottom of this so we can heal it and move on from it. Find someone you can be yourself with.
Starting point is 01:01:48 Yeah. Because when you can truly be you, I have been in relationships where I am like a shell of myself. I'm trying to figure out, oh my gosh, should I not say this? Totally. That's another whole really anxiety in relationship. When you can't fully be yourself, who you are is beautiful. Find someone who you can be yourself
Starting point is 01:02:10 with the minute you can't be yourself, you're never gonna be able to feel right in your heart. And so if you feel like in every relationship, I can't be myself, I don't know how to act, as your big sister, I just encourage you, take time to be alone. Stop putting the bandaid on by going from relationship to relationship. Be with Jesus, heal with Jesus, process it with Jesus, process it with the people that you love because when you come on the other side of it, you're going to feel so whole
Starting point is 01:02:42 and so good that if you can't be yourself with somebody, you're gonna be like, see you later. You're not gonna have to act like someone you're not because that is just, it's the worst when you can't be yourself. Oh, it's hell. It's actually hell. It's the worst.
Starting point is 01:02:59 Someone said, I wanna go all in with God. How do I talk to him about not wanting sex, sinful things, et cetera? Sex? Yeah, sex. This is Ari and I's favorite thing because I... What was the question? The question was, this girl wants to go all in with God,
Starting point is 01:03:21 but she probably has a boyfriend and she wants to talk to him about not wanting to have sex and doing sinful things. And I know, especially if you're in a context where you're dating someone who's not a believer or not a diehard Christian or not a true follower of Jesus, how scary this might be. But let me tell you something,
Starting point is 01:03:38 when I decided to go pure, I was in a relationship. And I brought this to somebody who had no Like no pre desire for that like there was no conversation about this or anything like that I remember being so scared of abandonment so scared of rejection So scared of like who am I even without this? Like how could I even be desirable without this thing and I was so afraid But I brought this up to the person that I was dating. And this might not be the case for everyone, but it was received so well, not without question and not without a little bit of pushback of being like, are
Starting point is 01:04:16 you sure? Is this what you want? It was the most empowering thing of my life to realize that my value is not placed in this thing. And once you realize, please, if you're watching this and this is your question, I want you to understand that whoever is meant for you, God has somebody for you. His desire for all of us is to be in a relationship that is pure. And so if you're with somebody who would not accept you not wanting to have sex in your relationship, I can tell you a thousand percent, I'm getting really excited, that person is not for you. And he's not from God.
Starting point is 01:04:55 And he's not from God. And there is somebody for you who will be more than willing, who probably wants to pursue purity themselves. So I beg you not to let being in a relationship with somebody hold you back from the fact that you know in your heart you shouldn't be having sex. And it's so amazing and whoever you're gonna end up with is gonna be on the same page as you. And if this guy, I want you to try, I want you to be bold, I empower you right now in Jesus' name, I pray that God would give you the strength
Starting point is 01:05:24 and the wisdom to go about this conversation, to have this conversation. And I want you to remember these words that if he doesn't handle it well, end it anyways. He's not for you. It is not rejection. You're not being rejected.
Starting point is 01:05:38 That man is not for you. And I want you guys, I love that. I feel the Holy Ghost. I just want, it's so sad, you know? And we walked in darkness for so long that the way we love walking as women of God now in purity, the boldness we have because of purity, I don't want you guys to feel ashamed
Starting point is 01:06:03 or embarrassed about that. Like if anyone who's listening right now, if you're in college, high school, and you have just influences in your air like laughing at you, laugh at them. Because you should be so, no, you should be so proud of yourself that you are walking in purity and you are following the will of God's path. He is so proud of you. And it's just something, it's something we are so proud of. And can I just say one more thing? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:31 Okay, so you guys know Ari and I are in a very interesting position where we are fully walking with Jesus, but, and at the same time, somewhat in the secular world. Yeah. Like in LA. People laugh at us all the time.
Starting point is 01:06:44 They laugh at us, but the respect, it's gonna sound crazy. The respect that we have from people, even though they might laugh, and honestly if they laugh, it's only a coping mechanism for them like covering whatever like conviction they're feeling inside.
Starting point is 01:07:03 We are so respected for our decision to go pure. People in the world, secular people, respect us for it and honestly with guys that are so secular and in the world, it is attractive to them. Can I tell you that we have been lied to from society and from the world telling us that you're only desirable if you have like sex to offer. It is so not true. People, men, women, people respect purity so much more than you think. Take it from two people who are around secular worldly people all the time and they have so much respect for it. They don't always understand it, but they respect it. And we're proud of it.
Starting point is 01:07:48 And it's so fun to walk into a room and be like, yeah, we are the odd ones out and guess what? We're so proud of it. Me too. I walk so boldly in it and I want you guys to too. Someone said, how to decipher relationship anxiety from signs that it's not the right relationship for you. So this is, again, this is a very, that's why you have to be walking so intimately with Jesus,
Starting point is 01:08:12 because you're in, we're in a situation where either you're receiving signs that somebody's not for you, or it's a rational anxiety that shouldn't be listened to. But I will say, I rely on peace so heavily. And that does not mean that everything is perfect. It does not mean that it's just smooth sailing and there's no conflict. But when you've been walking with Jesus long enough, and that's why you have to be, you don't have to be, but I think it's really beneficial to be deep in your walk with Jesus before getting into a relationship because you've had experience with God, and you know Him, and you hear Him, and you understand what peace is. You understand the peace that
Starting point is 01:08:52 surpasses natural understanding. You understand what that feels like. And so for me, I can be in a relationship and still have peace in the midst of conflict. But I think when you're wondering if somebody is for you or not, I think that there's a couple of things you can look at. Does this person make you more like Jesus? Do they push you towards Jesus? And then you can look at what wise counsel around you says. I think it's really important to take into consideration what trusted people in the faith around you,
Starting point is 01:09:25 what your community says about it. If you're in a relationship where everybody has doubts and concerns and doesn't, they've seen you guys together and they see how you interact and they see you in conflict and they see everything and they're like, this doesn't really set, like I think that's something you need to listen to. But if everyone around you is affirming and being like, no, this is great, this is amazing, you guys are good for each other, I think you just have to seek Jesus
Starting point is 01:09:52 in everything that you do. And if you're in true relationship and you are spending time and you're abiding and you're seeking, he speaks. He speaks and he can speak clearly. And you pray the most powerful prayer in the world. You say, God, if it's from you, bless it and make it happen and bring it to the end and bring us into a godly covenant. If it's not from you, God, I give you permission to remove it like this in whatever way you
Starting point is 01:10:19 see fit. And that prayer never goes unanswered. That's the craziest prayer, isn't it? It is the most dangerous prayer because He will. He loves us too much to allow us to be in relationships that aren't meant for us. Somebody said, how do I trust God? I'm in my 40s and I'm still in my waiting season and just like how do I trust God? And so I'm gonna just speak to somebody, to anyone in a waiting season. And I just wanna say me too, like you have a sister
Starting point is 01:10:53 that is going through it too. I hope that gives you some peace in your heart. The second thing I wanna say is that God can make up a moment's time like that. What he did in my life when I thought it was over, He has redeemed and restored things that I thought my time was up, and He restored it in a moment.
Starting point is 01:11:13 Okay, so I want you to understand that He is not joking when He says that I will redeem and restore everything that you thought you lost. If we trust His promises, we also have to trust His path. I know you feel like your time is running out. I know everybody around you is saying, what are you going to do? Are you going to have kids? I know how it goes.
Starting point is 01:11:35 I know what society tells you, but I also know who Jesus is. And I trust Him with my whole heart because I saw what He did in my 30s like that when I was so living in such fear. And I know and every time, like I'm going to be honest with you, I preach this to you guys because I'm walking this through with you. I even called Angela the other night and I was like, and it's going to be okay, right? Like I have these moments too where I'm like, it's okay, right? Like it is scary out there and sometimes you can't help but think like,
Starting point is 01:12:08 where is he, you know? And so I understand, but I, if it's one thing I know, it's I know who Jesus is. And in this time where you're waiting, I want you to focus on His work, focus on His path. He has a plan for you, but there is something that He is trying
Starting point is 01:12:26 to build in you in this time. There were times where I thought I was ready and even now I've been single and I'm like, wow, there's still things that you are doing in me that I'm so proud of myself for. I was laying on my floor this morning and I was, I had the biggest smile on my face and I'm like, thank you Jesus for having to just be me and you right now. I know what I wanted, but this is what you want and thank you for it. Later on, we're going to thank him for keeping us in this waiting period. You're going to understand later. And so I just, I hope that brings you comfort.
Starting point is 01:13:03 I hope that gives you, he is a God that always comes through. It's okay that you have a little bit of fear in you. It's okay that you're mourning. It's okay that you have nights that you're lonely, but it's that surrender every morning of Jesus. Be with me during this waiting season. Sometimes it's just getting really lonely, but have your way in my life. I surrender it to you.
Starting point is 01:13:25 Tell your story. Have your way. Just keep saying that have your way, have your way. I trust you. And I promise he will come through for you. Can I drop this mic? Yeah. Last one.
Starting point is 01:13:40 Someone said, how to get over the fear of losing someone you love, like in a breakup? And I just want to say that what has completely expelled fear in my life and in my relationships is my trust in Jesus, is my faith in Jesus. And you might wonder, how does that make sense? How does faith in Jesus correlate to not having anxiety over a breakup or not fearing a breakup? My faith in Jesus is so unbelievably unshakable. My trust in God, I believe in the sovereign hand of God. I believe in a God who knows the beginning from the end, the end from the beginning.
Starting point is 01:14:21 I believe in a God who already wrote my story. I believe in His hand who orchestrates every moment of my life to complete His perfect will in my life because I'm completely surrendered to Him. There is not a moment of my day that I am not fully trusting in God. And so in entering into a relationship with Jesus, I developed a trust, like I said earlier, not in people, but in God, that I'm able to step into something. And I trust that if this is for me, God is going to do whatever he needs to do to make it happen. If it's not for me, I have complete trust that if something ends, if there is a breakup,
Starting point is 01:15:02 which I hate, I hate breakups more than anything. I think they're horrible and painful and I can't stand them. But I know I'm able to step into a relationship fearlessly now. I'm able to love unconditionally and fearlessly. Whereas before I would hold back, I would be distant, I would be cold, I would abandon if I didn't feel fully comfortable or fully secure. Whereas now I'm able to step into a relationship with my heart wide open because I trust Jesus. I trust the scripture that Ari said earlier that he binds up our wounds if I do get hurt,
Starting point is 01:15:38 which most of the time he won't even let me get hurt. That's who God is. That's how much the sovereign hand of God protects us. But even if I do get hurt, I believe in the healing of Jesus and I believe in the growth that happens in the midst of pain. And so like we said earlier, Christ lives in you and I want you to be encouraged to know that you are protected. You are so protected. If He lives in you, that means His heart, He's in your heart. He's literally so much closer than you think. He adores you, He loves you, and He's with you in whatever you're going through. And so I
Starting point is 01:16:15 just want you to be encouraged that you can step out in faith, in love. You can love unconditionally, you can love fearlessly, and if something ends, if you have to break up, that's okay too. Everything that you need is already in you, because He's in you. And He will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in Him. It says that in Isaiah 26. So I just want to pray over whoever's listening that if you're experiencing relationship
Starting point is 01:16:44 anxiety, I just pray that the sovereign hand of God would be over your life. I pray that you would be completely protected by the God who cares so much about even the smallest details of your life. And I just pray that if there's a storm in your mind, if there's a storm in your heart, that Jesus would rebuke that storm, that He would say, Peace be still to the anxiety that is coming up in your relationships. And I also pray that God would show you who you are. He would show you your value. He would show you how priceless you are and that you would, your confidence and your self-esteem
Starting point is 01:17:21 would rise to that value, that it would match that value, and that you wouldn't accept anything less than what He has for you and what you deserve. And if you're having relationship anxiety, that's real, that's valid, that is concerning, and that should be something that's looked at, I pray He would give you the wisdom and the strength to look at it and act accordingly. And I just pray for all anxiety, all fear
Starting point is 01:17:45 to just be expelled right now in Jesus' name, for us too. It's so beautiful. I love you guys so much. We're in this together. One of the most beautiful thing about Girls Gone Bible is we have healed, gone through heartbreak, mourned. We are just going through it all together. You have two sisters who are with you and love you
Starting point is 01:18:07 and are for you and are going with you. Remember, me too. We're going through it together. And more so, Jesus loves you. And he's with you and he's so proud of you and you're chasing him and it's the most beautiful thing Angela and I have ever witnessed. And we just love you so much.
Starting point is 01:18:25 And we believe in you. We believe in you. We believe in your maturity in the faith. We believe you to make the right decisions for your life. Like, I just I really have so much confidence in you guys that leaving this video, you are going to be different in your relationships. You'll have more confidence, more security, and you'll know how to deal with the anxiety when it comes. We love you more than you can possibly imagine. We thank you, we thank you, we thank you for being here with us. May the Lord bless you and keep
Starting point is 01:18:54 you. May He make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May He turn His face towards you and give you peace.

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