Girls Gone Bible - Sex Before Marriage | Girls Gone Bible

Episode Date: January 3, 2025

Hiiiii GGB:)   Today we’re diving into the topic of sex before marriage and why it might not be God’s best plan for us. This isn’t about judgment but about understanding God’s design for inti...macy and how it can help build a stronger foundation for relationships.   We’ll also explore the deeper implications of premarital sex, like emotional bonds and physical risks. By choosing God’s plan for intimacy, we can experience healthier relationships, grow in our faith, and find lasting fulfillment.   We love you so much. Jesus loves you more. -Ang & Ari   JOIN US ON GGB+ 🥹❤️ https://ggb.supportingcast.fm   WE ARE ON THE OFFICIAL GIRLS GONE BIBLE LIVE TOUR! www.girlsgonebible.com/tour for the first batch of cities we have locked in :) WE LOVE YOU AND CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOU!   if you’d like to support Girls Gone Bible 🙏🏻🕊️🤍 Paypal- https://www.paypal.me/girlsgonebibleinfo Venmo- https://www.venmo.com/u/girlsgonebible

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Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up baby girl? What's up are we? So where were you? Where'd you get that coffee? I don't know. Oh, I got this next to my next to my house, this new little coffee shop that I walked to. But should we introduce ourselves? Hi, I'm Ari. And I'm Ange. And this is Girls Gone Bible. We are a faith based pod, faith based podcast,
Starting point is 00:00:41 where we talk all things spirituality, mental health, relationships. Here we love Jesus. We live by Him. We breathe by Him. We cannot make a decision without consulting Jesus first. We love the Bible. We are believers of the God of the Bible. And come as you are, just don't stay that way.
Starting point is 00:01:02 Come as you are, just don't stay that way. What's up, everybody? I, um... You evangelized? Tell us the story. Be careful what you ask for. Be careful what you ask for, because He answers. He does.
Starting point is 00:01:15 So I was like so, I was so inspired by this woman that I met a few weeks ago, who, she just basically tells all these stories about how she does not leave the house without leading somebody to salvation. Like every single day, if she leaves her house, she's leading somebody, she's giving the gospel to somebody and whatever. I am so inspired by that, that I begin to pray all day, every day, Lord, give me opportunity, give me boldness, give me, just give me the chance, give me wisdom, show me how to talk to people, and just give me the boldness to not be like,
Starting point is 00:01:50 you're going to think I'm weird. Like, you have no idea how much more receptive people are to the gospel than you think. And so right now I'm at creation and I, sometimes I'll go out into public and I'll ask God, I'll be like, Jesus, do you have anything for anyone, any word, anything? Like, do you just, do you want me to talk to anyone? And then sometimes my head is purposely down, I'm in a rush, I gotta go, I'm not in the mood, like the voice of God, there's a cutoff because like I'm just in my thing and I'm not thinking about anybody else. And I go to creation and I'm like that, I was late to record today,
Starting point is 00:02:23 I'm late, I like didn't have my makeup, whatever I go to get a smoothie and then I look up and and I literally this is what it feels like for God to highlight Somebody to you. I'm like looking down I look up at the girl who's taking my order and I go and she it literally feels like God went Wake up like that's what I felt like I literally just woke up I'm looking at her and I Am so aware in that moment that I'm looking at her like through the eyes of God and he has something to say. And so she's telling me about her cat and about how she has this new cat and um...
Starting point is 00:02:54 Did you tell her about the smelly cat food? No, I didn't tell her about pretty litter but I did. She's like telling me how the cat keeps going on the counter and she needs to like, she needs to figure out how to get the cat. She's freaking out. She's so annoyed about the cat. And I tell her to put like, his cats are afraid of cucumbers.
Starting point is 00:03:12 I was like, have you tried putting, yeah. Go look up the videos about the cat. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Go look up the videos about the cats with the cucumbers. And then anyways, there's a point to this. Jesus is in this.
Starting point is 00:03:24 And then, so we're having a conversation about our cat and then she's like, yeah, we like mentions that she's whatever, that she loves someone. I'm like, oh, who do you live with? And she's like my partner and my girlfriend. And I'm like, oh, okay. And then, so we just keep talking and I'm talking to her. And then we're like, I'm waiting for my smoothie.
Starting point is 00:03:40 We're making friends, whatever. And then when I'm leaving, I go to open up, Jesus loves you, give her the whole thing. My mouth goes like, I don't know what happens, but my tongue gets tied. And I go, you're so special and amazing, I hope to see you soon. I leave, and she's so happy, really, really sweet girl, so happy, and I knew, I knew as I'm having a conversation
Starting point is 00:04:04 with her, all I can hear is like, she has the wrong idea about me. Like God is saying, she has been told things, she has been made to feel certain things, probably because of the way that she lives her life. Like the way she lives her life has caused her to look at God in a way that he is not. And then so I leave, I go to my car, and I'm like, okay, okay, okay, okay, I'm going back.
Starting point is 00:04:27 So I get in my car and then I pull around front, and I'm like, but Jesus, I have, like I gotta go, I have to go, like whatever, can you get somebody else to do it? And then all I hear is, just tell her I love her. Just tell her I love her. That's all you have to do, I just want her to know that I love her.
Starting point is 00:04:43 So I go inside and I'm like, hi, and I say her name. I was like, this is so weird. She's probably like, what are you doing? I'm like, this is probably so weird, but I'm a Christian and I just want you to know, I literally tried leaving and I couldn't because I felt so heavy on my heart that God wants you to know that He loves you so much. And I know you probably have all these ideas about Him and people have made you feel like you're not good enough for him or the way, whatever.
Starting point is 00:05:07 And I was like, but that's not true. He wants you, he loves you, and he's pursuing you. And then she's like, the look in her eye, like this is a girl, you know that she's probably not a Christian just by whatever outward appearances. And she's like, honestly, thank you. She's so receptive, she goes, thank you so much. She goes, I grew up Christian.
Starting point is 00:05:26 I knew it. I literally knew it. She's like, I grew up Christian and whatever. And she's like, but that, you have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you. I hope you come back. And I want you to know that the evangelistic call that we all
Starting point is 00:05:38 have on our lives is one of the most important parts of our faith. Yes, you and your relationship with Jesus, so important. But it's not just for you. It's for, we're called to go and make disciples. Okay, tell them. Well, we just had the thought of, because we are watching so many people around us,
Starting point is 00:05:59 destruction, chaos, no peace in their relationships, everyone's failing in every single one of their relationships around us. And it's really sad to watch and it's really sad to see the destruction in their own hearts and in their own lives and yet they can't see the truth. They can't see the light. They're confused. They can't say, wait a minute, this is why. So today we're going to talk about the implications of sex before marriage. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:30 This has been something, you know, you guys know that we've done a purity episode, which is one of our most watched videos, obviously. And that was, you know, I don't even remember when that was, like, was that a year ago, maybe? Or like, maybe less, but I remember it was so much harder to talk about back then because maybe, you know, it was, whatever, it was fresher.
Starting point is 00:06:52 Anyways, I think- It was really hard before. It was so hard to talk. Do you remember on that episode, I was like having a full-on panic that whole time. Yeah, I couldn't even like- I couldn't express myself. Now I'm like going in the middle of the streets
Starting point is 00:07:04 like yelling at people to stop having sex. I'm so full with it now. I know, no, you really are so good about that. Ari will literally meet someone and be like, you having sex? Okay, well you know, right, that sin leads to death. It is, there's just such a beauty in the way that you do things.
Starting point is 00:07:22 But yeah, we want wanna have a conversation. And yes, it is biblical, it is derived from and originates from what God says about us and our bodies and marriage and sex. But we wanna have the most genuine, real conversation with you guys. And we're not here to preach you a sermon. We're not here to be pastors and preachers and whatever,
Starting point is 00:07:45 or even like two girls on a podcast. We wanna come here as your friends, as your genuine friends who love you with all of our hearts. And we wanna be real with you and tell you, I know that so many people watching this right now are still not abstaining before marriage. And there is something about the Christian walk that you can be a legitimately devout follower of Jesus
Starting point is 00:08:11 and still be having sex before marriage. And it's just normalized in our culture that this is the one area, don't lie, don't steal, don't cheat, be a good person, but if you have sex, like it's funny, you know what I mean? If you live with your boyfriend, like it's okay. You still love Jesus. He still loves me.
Starting point is 00:08:26 He'll still. And yeah. And he does. And he does. But. But you're robbing yourself. Robbing. And you are headed into a horrible, horrible direction.
Starting point is 00:08:38 And it ruins lives. It ruins lives. I'm just gonna jump right out the gate and saying, I am so tired of seeing my friends and so many people out there in these four, five year long, two, three, four, five year long relationships where you're having sex every single day and then they break up and it literally ruins their lives.
Starting point is 00:09:01 Like people wonder why breakups are so painful. You're having sex. ruins their lives. Like people wonder why breakups are so painful. You're having set, like I don't even know how to express. I don't even have the words to, I wish Jesus himself could come down and tell us what he thinks about it so it could get into our heads because that's how bad it is. It tears you apart.
Starting point is 00:09:21 I'll just speak from experience and saying that, you know, I... It's funny because we were just saying how in the first purity episode, it was really, really hard to talk about. And now it's so much easier because, you know, just with a little bit of time, I remember we didn't want to talk about it too soon. It is just absolutely insane. What I've experienced even in my own life, and I have been in long-term relationships since I was young. And intimacy before marriage was always
Starting point is 00:09:56 a part of my relationships. And I have no shame in saying that. I didn't know. There was no culture around me of anybody pursuing purity. And what the internal turmoil, the emotional chaos that I have experienced, the broken hearts that I've experienced
Starting point is 00:10:18 through these long-term relationships ending that I was being intimate in, and on top of it, I have lived with boyfriends while being, like it's just all, I've done that twice where I've lived with someone and those breakups after two years, after four years, can you imagine what happened to my heart? What happened to my soul? Like you're, we're sitting there you guys and we're sitting there, you guys, and we're pretending like we're married to these people with no actual commitment, no spiritual covering. You're not actually in covenant with God to where you're protected in that.
Starting point is 00:10:54 You have no legal binding that like, you know, enforces any sort of commitment. Someone can like up and leave you in two seconds. I mean, it is just absolutely wild, the world that we live in, that this is what's normal. And if you really think about it, people can think that Christians are the weirdest people, all they want for, you know, pursuing purity and abstaining from sex. But if you actually look at it, how does it make sense to do the most sacred act ever of all time, the most spiritually, emotionally, and physically binding thing you can do with someone?
Starting point is 00:11:33 It is dangerous. It's dangerous to do that outside of marriage. There is no covering. And inside of marriage, it is the most beautiful thing that literally, it's worship, like Maddie said that, it's worship. God is in you while you do it. It's the number one way. Chad Veach said that that's how he fights spiritual warfare
Starting point is 00:11:51 with his wife. If there's an attack on their marriage, you know, that's a way to fight spiritually, to bind yourselves back together, to say to the devil, no, you're not tearing this apart. We're coming together the way that God intended. But outside of marriage, it is the most dangerous,
Starting point is 00:12:08 harmful thing you can do to yourself. And not only that, it's we, how can you know if you truly love this person? GGB, run, don't walk. Olive in June is having the biggest sale of the year of my lifetime ever in general. The Olive and June holiday deal consists of 25% off of every product. Olive and June has everything you need for a salon quality manicure in one box.
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Starting point is 00:13:27 and June. That's O-L-I-V-E-A-N-D-J-U-N-E dot com slash ggb25 for 25% off your first Olive and June system. You're in a relationship and you then bring sex in it outside of marriage. You are so clouded and blinded by the lust. You don't know if that's real love. Of course you're going to think you love this person. You're having sex, it's a dopamine hit, you're on a high, feelings get involved.
Starting point is 00:13:53 Of course that. So you will never know if it's truly love. And that's why the divorce rate is so high and that's why you get into marriage and then all of a sudden you realize, wait a minute, this isn't my person, because you are so clouded with the lust. That's why you take sex out of it and you just leave with you and the person and you get to know each other on a spiritual level, God's way. That's when you know if something's real. That's when you know if something's from God. But the minute you put sex and you start doing things out of go- out of- out of gourds.
Starting point is 00:14:27 I call them gourd all the time, God-Lord. The minute you start doing things out of the will of God, God cannot have his hand on it. You are blinded, you are clouded. That is why everything is so messed up in today's society. That's why we are in four or five year long relationships and we have no ring on our finger. All of a sudden after five years, he says, oh, you know what? Actually, I don't think I'm ready.
Starting point is 00:14:57 What are we talking about? What are we doing? Please. What are we doing? What are we doing? And I can just, I'll talk about my own experience. You know, I had never been more destroyed in my soul, in my life. I'm with this person for years, and then one day, boom, it ends.
Starting point is 00:15:17 And then my heart is completely shattered. My mind is completely shattered, and I'm left completely alone with the person that I just gave everything to. A whole wife without the ring. I was a whole wife without the ring in the right hand. It's me too, baby. And you know, although God is in everything and He used it for my good, He really did. And that's why when we talk about this, I don't want anyone to
Starting point is 00:15:45 condemn their self. I spent so, like, I spent many months just living in shame and God took every broken piece that I went through and He used it and He redeemed me and He restored me and He's still restoring me. And that. And that's the implication that I have to deal with, with living in sin. And so, after that relationship ended, and I was completely broken, and I was just chasing the light, I had found Jesus right after my heartbreak,
Starting point is 00:16:21 and I was just chasing the light, I was in so much pain, and although He rescued me, I was still in such deep pain. My mind was everywhere. I was just so unwell. Like, I was just unwell. And so, as I was chasing Jesus, I just had this thought in my mind, well, I have to move on. I have to find somebody else. I have to move on. And so, I wanted to get back out there and then I started to move on. I have to find somebody else. I have to move on. And so, I wanted to get back out there and then I started to date. I was just still searching because I felt like I had to move on now. And so, I had no peace. And this is when I first started my journey.
Starting point is 00:16:58 I had just started reading the Bible. Angela and I just started Girls Gone Bible. So, I was very new. I was learning and I'm dating and I have no peace. And I'm thinking, what is going on? I have no peace in my life. He was calling me into a season of complete singleness and so many of us are operating in a place of loneliness. I was so lonely and I was still chasing something. And he was being like, you think you love me and you think you know me and I know you're still getting to know me,
Starting point is 00:17:33 but you really need to understand me. You really need to seek me. You're still searching in all these things when you need to search me. For anyone who didn't read the story of the Samaritan woman, it's such a beautiful story. It probably relates to every single one of us. Jesus asked the woman for a drink.
Starting point is 00:17:52 Sir, the woman said, you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can we get this living water? And Jesus answered, everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water that I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." And so, then the woman keeps questioning him, and I'm just
Starting point is 00:18:19 going to skip down. She said, the woman said, sir, give me this water so I won't get thirsty. And then he starts showing her that he's a messiah. But why don't you call your husband to come back? She said, I have no husband. And Jesus said, you are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man that you are living with now is not your husband. What you said is quite true. And so, in this, when I read this, He's not trying to shame her, He's just trying to tell her, the water that you are drinking, you're trying to go to all of these areas to fulfill. Now you're with a man you're living with that you're not even married to, that she's probably having sex with, and you're
Starting point is 00:19:01 still not fulfilled. And so, so many of us are operating out of a place of loneliness and brokenness. Half of the reason we're having sex is out of brokenness. I know for me, I was giving myself to people in relationships because that's where I found my love. That's where I thought they would love me. And so, when you grow up in a, and when you grow up in the world and you don't know better, when you want to pursue purity, it's really hard to do that when you're already in a relationship. So, God taking me out of the season where I'm trying to date and putting me into a season of complete singleness with Him was the greatest gift that He had given me. And I was sitting there being like, oh, I have to be alone, this is uncomfortable.
Starting point is 00:19:49 No, it was the greatest gift. And I know that it can feel lonely, but what He did during that time, it was the only way that I was able to see the truth. I'm reading the scripture. Do you love me? Do you love me? Well then obey my commandments and you'll know the truth and the scripture. Do you love me? Do you love me? Well then obey my commandments
Starting point is 00:20:06 and you'll know the truth and the truth will set you free. I couldn't understand that. I was like, obey the truth and the truth will set you free. What does that mean? So when I entered into a season of singleness and I was like, yes, I do love you. Okay, I'm alone now. Let me follow this. Let me keep reading the Bible." And as I kept understanding, following my commandments, I kept understanding how much God hates sin, how much it goes against what He, how much it goes against Him when I was like, okay, God doesn't like this. This is serious. Sin is serious. We're all acting in today's society like it's not that big of a deal.
Starting point is 00:20:45 It's okay, God still loves me. It's okay, He'll forgive me. And no, that was what was separating me from Him. I'm in my Bible and I'm dating and I'm doing all this stuff and I felt so much depression. So, I felt such a lack of peace in my life and it's because I was having one foot in and one foot out. I was saying I love Jesus. I'm reading my Bible. I'm even preaching on Girls Gone Bible. Yet, I still have one foot in. I'm still dating. I'm in a relationship, and I'm still living in deep sin. How can we have any peace when we're outliving the way we want to? How can we have any peace when we're doing the very thing
Starting point is 00:21:25 that God is asking us? Don't do that. How can we say that we love Jesus with all of our hearts, but be doing the very thing that God doesn't want us to do? That He died for. Exactly. Exactly. And so, when I started going intimate with Jesus, when I started really following Him, I was like, that's it. That's it. I love you with all my heart. Follow my commandments and you'll know the truth.
Starting point is 00:21:55 This is the truth. When I made the decision to lie it all down, that's when I was truly free. We can have Jesus. Yeah, that's one thing. But when you follow Him, when you do the hard thing and you pick up your cross and you follow Him and you make that decision, I know this is hard. I know that looks really good, but I say no,
Starting point is 00:22:14 because my life is separated to you. I love you more than I love that thing. When you make that decision, because temptations come your way, it is, it's hard. It feels good, right? We want to do the thing that feels good, but not everything that feels good is good. And so, when I made that decision to lie it down and I started really following Him wholeheartedly, I put down the lukewarm Christian life and I really went all in with Jesus, that is when I was free.
Starting point is 00:22:43 And that's why I sit on here so boldly, and I will go in the middle of the street, and I will literally say to people, stop, stop. That is why you are living in hell. That is why there is no peace in your relationship. And you never will have peace. It's a fake peace from the world. And then it ends up completely going to death.
Starting point is 00:23:03 And that's why the Bible says, anyone who sins is a slave to sin. If you're a slave to anything else but Jesus, you make idols out of that. You can't have any peace. You can't truly follow Jesus if you are a slave to something else. So good. Oh, Har, your story with this is so inspiring. And the reason why you're able to speak with so much boldness and conviction on this
Starting point is 00:23:27 more than probably anything else is because you've lived it. And this is true. And this really did happen in your life. And I think that there's just so much authority in you talking about this because you know, nobody told you to do this. Nobody said, nobody raised you to believe this. You literally walked it out yourself
Starting point is 00:23:44 and you know the difference. You know, it out yourself and you know the difference. You know you have had your heart and me too. We've had our hearts absolutely destroyed and ripped out of our chest because relationships have ended that we are intimate with and it is unnatural. It's not good, it's not normal. And I just wanna speak to anybody right now
Starting point is 00:24:01 who's in a situation where you are in a relationship right now where you're where it's not pure. And I just wanna know where, we say it all the time, where sin abounds, grace abounds much more. As many times as there is sin, there is even more grace from Jesus. And so there's so much grace for the season you're in, there's so much grace for what you don't know,
Starting point is 00:24:22 and there's so much grace for what you struggle with. But I just wanna say, we were at one of the shows and someone came up to me and she prayed and asked me to pray for her. And she said that she's in a relationship where she's, it was impure, but now she wants to pursue purity. And she said that, she said she doesn't know whether she should end it or not. And I have to say, I spoke on what I believe to be true based on the Bible, and I really believe that if you are in an impure relationship currently, it's really hard to then begin to pursue purity together. I'm not saying it's impossible. However, I do believe that there may have to be a separation between you two. That's not to say that you can't come back together. And that could be the case if both parties are heading straight for Jesus, hiding in
Starting point is 00:25:10 the heart of Jesus, letting him cleanse you, letting him purify you, letting him change you from the inside out. But you're on the same page. Both people are on the same page and want the same thing, and maybe you come back together. But I just know, and if you were in an impure relationship and you started following Jesus and that relationship was taken from you, either they left or it fell apart, I want you to know that that is probably God's grace on your life.
Starting point is 00:25:35 Oh, thank you for saying that. That was really good. It probably is. And everybody needs that reminder. And even I do. Yeah, because He loves us so much that sometimes He has to disrupt our entire lives and take things from us that probably aren't good for us. And I just want to say that if you are a girl or a guy who was in a relationship with someone who is not a follower of Jesus or they're kind of, but not really, you, I just, like, missionary dating doesn't work, yes. Could you possibly, like where you end up with a person
Starting point is 00:26:08 who's not a believer and you convert them. You know, and that, yes, but for the people that I love, which is you and my best friends, and my best friends on the other side of this camera, I want you to end up with someone who is so on fire for Jesus. I want your main requirement be that their hearts burn for Jesus 24 hours a day.
Starting point is 00:26:29 I want you to be in a relationship where you don't have to ask someone to pursue purity. I want you to be in a relationship where you don't, and I'm not saying that's necessarily bad, but I just want for the people I love to be with someone who's on the same page as you and you guys want the same thing because it's just too hard. It is too hard.
Starting point is 00:26:46 It's too hard. Especially for a man. It's hard when you go into a relationship with a man who doesn't know Jesus and they're not wholeheartedly in with Jesus. It's really hard as a man to lead you right. Oh, 100%. I mean, men are supposed to be leading in every area. And even that one, a man should be leading you to purity.
Starting point is 00:27:08 And please, I have it so heavy on my heart that if you were in a relationship, I know how heartbroken you are. But if you were in a relationship and they didn't love Jesus with all their heart, and they probably didn't even know Him at all, and you guys were having sex and it was impure. That relationship ending is the best thing that ever happened to you.
Starting point is 00:27:28 God has a different plan for your life that is so much higher, so much better than that. That is not the relationship you were meant to be and that's not how you were meant to live. I know how hard it is and I know especially if you were having sex and you had a soul tie and especially if that person left you now, it's all tied into your own identity and your self-worth, throw all that garbage out the window and let yourself start fresh. Let yourself start new, because that was a sinful past that you should no longer identify with.
Starting point is 00:27:59 You shouldn't even want to go back to something that was sinful. We talk about this. That was never God's plan for you. If you were having sex, that relationship was not His will for your life. And the person that He is going to mold you into, you have no idea. He is literally calling you higher. He is bringing you into a season where He's like, look, I want to make you into my image. I know it hurts, but you don't understand. That wasn't my will.
Starting point is 00:28:29 This wasn't of me where you were living in sin in this relationship. The person that I'm going to grow you into, if you would just surrender to me and submit to me and follow me. I know it's going to be hard. I know there were soul ties. I know you didn't fully walk in the will of God.
Starting point is 00:28:44 So you might have some repercussions and you might have some brokenness that I have to work on and heal, but wait till you get to the end of it. You guys have no idea. I look back at who I was. I was living in deception. I was living in ignorance. I thought this was a loving, living in ignorance. I thought this was a loving, godly relationship. I was lost. I didn't know. And I thought it was the end for me. I thought, how am I ever going to come back to this? And he brought me into a season where he just transformed me into this woman of God. And thank you, Jesus. So anyone who's listening to us, thank you Angela for bringing that up. Take it as a blessing because our first goal is to thirst for Him and to chase Him so He can build you into the person of His image, not to be living in this relationship
Starting point is 00:29:38 in deep sin. Nothing good will ever come from that, that you will never have peace in your life. It's not, it wasn't from God. It wasn't. This is the confirmation. I know that this, there is something about this episode specifically that is speaking directly to whoever is listening, that wasn't from Him. Stop feeling like you missed out on something. Stop feeling like you want to go back. You are bigger than that, better than that, you're higher than that. And I just really quickly want to speak to this culture that we're living in. Now, my girls specifically, but guys too, because this goes for the guys too, we live in a culture that makes me so unbelievably sick to my stomach that men think that they
Starting point is 00:30:18 can date you for as long as they want with no commitment, no intention, no vision, and no end in sight. People are like, there is, why are we dating for no reason? You are not meant to become so emotionally attached to people, you are not supposed to feel like you're married to someone without being married. It doesn't make any sense. Do not listen to what the world is telling you that you can just, oh, just to date, just to date,
Starting point is 00:30:44 because you're young and you don't know what you want yet. Like that is not, that's garbage. If you're not ready to get married, you shouldn't be dating, period. If he's not ready to get married, do not disrespect yourself so much as to wait for a guy who tells you that he's not yet ready. And by the way, this happens to men literally like this,
Starting point is 00:31:04 men will say this in their 30s. And it's the funniest thing to me in the world. It bothers me so much and literally kills me when I see the most beautiful women in relationships with men literally in their 30s, even if he was 22, I don't care. Men in their 30s who are like, they're dating for so long and they're like, yeah, I'm still not ready.
Starting point is 00:31:23 I don't know what I want. If that man doesn't know what he wants, it means he doesn't want you and you need to, and then that's not your fault. That's like, you gotta, you cannot let yourself be in that position. I'm sorry, I'm so passionate about it, but it's because I care about you guys so much
Starting point is 00:31:37 and we're living in a world of absolute garbage, garbage where people are dating without the intention of eventually getting married. I want you to understand that anybody you date has to be so intentional in pursuing you and there has to be an end in sight. And you guys need to be on the same page. You need to be having these conversations.
Starting point is 00:31:59 You are not a placeholder. You are not a fill in for somebody's loneliness or for their lack of whatever they're missing in their life. That is not your place. You are not there to fill somebody's needs and voids and then to be discarded later. And it happens all the time.
Starting point is 00:32:18 And if it happened to you, it is not your fault. But we have got, we have got, we have got to play our part. We can't control what other people do, but we can play a part in who we choose today. And they have to be good people who want to pursue purity with you. Yeah! I was thinking about that. No, seriously. I'm...
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Starting point is 00:34:30 selling Dream Powder and get up to 40% off for a limited time when you go to shopbeam.com slash ggb and use code ggb at checkout. That's shopbeam.com slash GGB and use code GGB for up to 40% off. I will tell you that all goes hand in hand with walking in purity. When you, and I'm gonna, this is just a girl who's lived it this past two years. When I got to know Jesus and I understood, it's on like the last episode. When I got to know Jesus and I understood his love, it caused me to say, this is real love. This is what real true love is. I will never compromise again.
Starting point is 00:35:18 I will never be in a relationship and give up my own self-worth and still stay because I'm like, okay, well, maybe, well, maybe. When you're living in holiness, in walking in His will, you do not compromise. You learn when you know Him, you then know yourself and you love yourself so much that you get to the place where you are centered, you are anchored, and you are confident in God, and you don't compromise, and you don't waste your time. And when you're in a relationship, you're like, okay, I'm in it because I'm in it to get married,
Starting point is 00:35:56 and you don't waste two, three years being like, oh my gosh, you just broke my heart. You won't live with a broken heart. We're all, honestly, we're all having identity crisis because we're living however we want. When you think to yourself, I don't know who I am, I'm lost. Well, it's because you're living in sin. You're clouded. Of course you don't know who you are. You're constantly doing things outside of the will of God because you don't know yourself.
Starting point is 00:36:22 You don't know Jesus. You're living however you want. But when we do know better, we have to do better. So good. I just, everything you said, all I could hear was, you're giving your body to somebody who's not your person. If we really think logically, why would we do that? Why would we do that? I just, this isn't strictly about sex, but I just want to talk to mostly my ladies, but my guys too. There needs to be a standard in even the guys that you're talking to. If there's a guy who's texting you late at night, who's texting you to go out for a drink at night or something, you need to also be careful because there are
Starting point is 00:37:03 so many Christian men, there are so many non-godly men disguised as godly men. Yes. There are so many men out there who know scripture, who grew up Christian, who literally don't pursue purity and don't act like a godly man. You need to have such strong discernment and you know when you know when you know. You know when someone isn't an actual godly man by his behavior, when is he texting you, what is he saying, is he being intentional? And I'm just gonna say one more thing, and I'm so sorry, and I'm not gonna say anything graphic,
Starting point is 00:37:35 but there's a world, and we've been in this Christian world for a little bit now, there's a world. I remember when you and I started pursuing purity and we were like straight up, like don't even think, don't even think about coming near me, don't even, whatever. We learned that there's so many Christians who think that just having sex, that's bad.
Starting point is 00:37:55 But then everything else is okay. That I just wanna say that there are people who literally are, okay, I'm just gonna say there are people who are virgins and this is a really strong take but it's mine and I'll stand by it there are people who are virgins so who don't have sex so they're virgins but they will literally engage in every other thing but you know what I mean they're engaging in all these things saying that they're pure they're like baiting and grooming women being like oh I'm a good
Starting point is 00:38:22 Christian man you don't have to worry. Oh, but is this OK? Oh, but can I do this? Can I touch you here? Can I do this? I see it happen all the time. These are the men that you stay away from. A man who pursues purity is one who says, I love Jesus so much that I respect you so much that I will
Starting point is 00:38:40 never put you in a compromised position where I affect my purity and yours. They don't text you late at night. They don't do all this crazy stuff. You guys are so smart. I will never put you in a compromised position where I affect my purity and yours. They don't text you late at night. They don't do all this crazy stuff. You guys are so smart. You know, you know somebody's intentions. You know when somebody is not behaving.
Starting point is 00:38:54 If your radar starts to go off, if you have to question and evaluate, huh, is this guy godly? Because he's probably not fully, he's probably not fully living right. if you have to even question it. I love that you just brought that up, because especially when you're a new Christian and you meet a guy that's going to church and he is talking about God and how much he loves God, you're like, wow, yes, I'm with a Christian man.
Starting point is 00:39:23 But then he wants to have sex with you. He wants to do that is not, he is not truly walking. He is not. That's, and I'm sorry to say that because I was once that I was once calling myself a true Christian, but living in deep sin. So I'm not here to condemn anyone. I'm saying that I was that way. And so you don't have to beat yourself up. It can be so deceiving. and especially us being in the Christian world where they're saying they're Christian men, good Christian men, they love God, but they're not honoring women. They're still having sex. And even for girls, too. We can talk about the girls, too. Be careful. Beware of the wolves in sheep's clothing. They're everywhere. They're everywhere. Do not just listen to how somebody talks.
Starting point is 00:40:06 You will truly know them by their fruit. And I know that you guys know, and I just want you to have discernment. I was in a relationship where, and I remember myself sobbing. I was like, but he loved Jesus, and he was Christian, and it was a good relationship. And I remember a mentor saying,
Starting point is 00:40:25 was he leading you to purity? Was he honoring you? And I was like, no. And she was like, then what are you crying for? And I was like, you're right. Like that, it's true. Marriage was created as, I think I talked about it last episode maybe,
Starting point is 00:40:42 but marriage was created as this, you know, perfect representation, a prophetic picture of our relationship with Christ. He is the groom, we are the bride. And so when we, marriage is like the most beautiful thing, it really is. So it's not something to idolize, but it is so beautiful. And sex inside of marriage is the most beautiful thing, but sex outside of marriage, the physical, spiritual, and emotional implications on it. Let's even talk about the physical implications. STDs are rampant in society. Everything that God asks of us is out of our own protection. It's only because He's like, I know that this thing is good, but it's good in this context,
Starting point is 00:41:23 because it's so good that it's dangerous. It's so good, it's so special, it's so sacred that it has to have a covering, otherwise it's too deep, it's too intimate, it binds you with somebody, binds you with somebody. The physical implications of risking an SCD, which happens to people all the time, and it's almost so normalized that you got this thing,
Starting point is 00:41:47 don't worry about it, come take a pill. Thank you, Jesus, for medication. That is a form of His grace on the mistakes that we make. But that is another huge reason why we abstain. And it's really, that should be enough motivation for all of us. Just our body. It's spiritual.
Starting point is 00:42:08 It's spiritual, it's one. You're not meant to be doing that out of the context of marriage. 100%. You really aren't. Please, for the love of God, stop giving your body to someone who's not your spouse. Stop giving your body to somebody who doesn't deserve it.
Starting point is 00:42:22 They don't deserve it, they don't deserve you. Please take it from two girls who have lived all the ways, done all the things. Nobody is forcing us to make these decisions. And I know that you're watching this thinking, how, how could I possibly do it? How could I possibly give this up? How could I not have a relationship?
Starting point is 00:42:43 I never thought that I would be able to have a relationship without this. I thought to myself, what is life? Who am I? What am I without this? Do you know how insane it has gone from literally being viewed as, honestly, a sexual, physical object my whole life
Starting point is 00:43:03 since I was a little person? a little child, like a kid. I remember being a kid and feeling sexualized and feeling objectified. And then you take it on as yourself and you say, okay, this is what I have to be. I should be sexy. And then you present yourself in this way that is so sexy and appealing and please validate me
Starting point is 00:43:22 because you think I'm sexy. It is the lowest form of validation to be sexy, to be desired for your physical body and what you can offer physically. It's not real, it's not valuable, it means nothing. And I remember you joked about it how like you lost your oomph after, you know, not being whatever. And I felt that too where I had a period of feeling unattractive. I felt not feminine. I didn't feel good about myself.
Starting point is 00:43:48 I saw it physically. I'm like, I just don't look. I just, I don't like the way I look because I don't have that thing. But then eventually you get used to it and you realize, oh, it's because I'm being valued for so many other things. And I know that my husband one day, I know that he's not gonna value sexy. He's not gonna value me walking around and looking or having that look in my eye or what I can offer.
Starting point is 00:44:15 That is not the way that God wants us to live. It isn't, it isn't. I love it. Beautiful, Ange. I agree. And I lived the same way my whole life, and it left me feeling so empty and so broken. That's all I thought I was good for,
Starting point is 00:44:31 was my sex appeal, my looks, what I can give to a man, and that is the lowest layer of death. It's low. It's low. It's vapid, it's empty, doesn't actually mean anything, doesn't bring fulfillment, doesn't mean nothing for you. It brings no fulfillment. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:49 And I look back at my life and I say, no wonder why I lived in depression. No wonder why I had no peace in my heart. No wonder why my relationships always failed. We look for validation through sex, but somebody isn't going to be attracted to you forever without Jesus in their lives. That's what it is. I know, ugh, don't make me... That's why there's so much divorce. Because everybody is thinking about, am I attracted to them?
Starting point is 00:45:12 How do I still think they're sexy? I'm sorry to tell you, but the chemicals that you release in the honeymoon stage do not last forever. There's got to be something else to sustain your marriage and your attraction. And it's only Jesus. I'm going to throw up. I literally know men and women in situations where men end up not being attracted to her after a little while.
Starting point is 00:45:34 She gets a little older. You're not attracted to her anymore. She gets pregnant with your own child, and you're not attracted to her anymore. When a man doesn't have Jesus, or a woman, because it is not just for men, when somebody does not child and you're not attracted to her anymore. When a man doesn't have Jesus or a woman, because it is not just for men, when somebody does not have Jesus, they're not right in the head. They will not ever look at you right. They will not ever treat you right. They will not, you will only
Starting point is 00:45:55 be, how attracted am I to you in the fiery fun part of our relationship? And once that's over, so sorry, the flame is gone. I gotta go. All it is is they are trying to fill a void that you will never be able to fill. Their lust. Their lust. Their lust. It's either gonna be you, their work, and they're always gonna have a lack of peace and there will always be a lack of peace in your relationship because if Jesus isn't sitting in the center and you are not following and obedience to him. It's death. Yes. It's death. It is. And if you want to know why everybody, if you look
Starting point is 00:46:30 around, everybody is depressed, they're anxious, they're breaking up. The divorce rate is higher in this generation than ever. No one lasts five, seven, you go ten years and oh. They're not even getting married in the first place. They're not even getting married. Because you're together for four years, and then obviously by that time, you're out of the honeymoon stage and you think that you just don't love the person anymore.
Starting point is 00:46:53 When really, you just needed Jesus. That's all you needed. That's all you needed. We love because he first loved us. We cannot love someone in our own strength. You can't love someone properly. You can't. You can be lustful and on fire from him for a little,. You can't love someone properly. You can't you can be lustful and on fire from A little but you can't love someone. No, you can't
Starting point is 00:47:10 Why is this our? We're we there's authority in this because we live it because we live it. That's what it is We did our hearts would my heart was destroyed Because of this and I see so many of you running up to the altar when I meet you guys. Your hearts are destroyed and I want you to live right. Jesus has such an amazing, peaceful everything. He has so much fruit at the end of the promised land.
Starting point is 00:47:37 But it involves you walking in the will. It involves you picking up your cross and carrying it and following it. And it's not easy. He never said it was going to be easy, but it's worth it. It's freedom. That's truth. There is freedom at the end of it. I'm trying not to be loud as you're talking.
Starting point is 00:47:58 It's hard when you preach. It's really hard to shut up. He's so good. Drop it, the mic. That's so good. Drop it, the mic. That's it. Absolutely insane. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus, for the truth.
Starting point is 00:48:09 Thank you, Jesus, for the truth. It says it in his word. 1 Corinthians says that it is the only sin that you commit against your own body. You're not only just hurting Jesus, you're hurting the other person, and you're hurting yourself. You are hurting yourself.
Starting point is 00:48:27 If we could do it, I swear you can do it. I promise you, you can do it. There is nothing, he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. There is no sin, no addiction, no mental health. Nothing is too much for Jesus to get you out of. He took captivity captive. If this has taken you captive,
Starting point is 00:48:46 Jesus died on the cross to give you that power to overcome. You are not subject to this. There is nothing that is too hard in your own might. Yeah, you may not be able to do it with Jesus. There is nothing that is too hard. And then one day we're gonna have a conversation about pursuing purity in a relationship because that is a whole other battle.
Starting point is 00:49:05 It is. But anyways. We love you. And if you're someone who is in a relationship and you're in sin and you're sitting here just feeling so convicted and you're feeling a little down, I want to let you know that we love you so much. And the fact that you're watching this tells me that you want to go the other way and you want to follow Jesus.
Starting point is 00:49:24 And all it takes is you to just say, Lord, help me. Yeah. Yes. I need help. Help me. I repent. Help me. Show me how I can let this go.
Starting point is 00:49:32 I don't want to keep living the ways of the world of what feels good for me. Yes. I want to live for you and what feels good for you. I want to be better. Help me. Yes. And He will. If He did it for us, if we could lay down the way we were living our whole lives,
Starting point is 00:49:46 living of the world, and we just completely laid it down and just completely went in with Jesus, if us two girls can do that, so can you. So good. Thank you, Jesus. I am on fire right now. I'm on fire. You want to go for a run? You want to go for a run? Let's go! Let's go for a run. Let's go for a run? Let's go! Let's go for a run and call all of our ex-boyfriends and yell at them.
Starting point is 00:50:08 Let's call all our ex-boyfriends and say, Why was I so heartbreaking over you? You little world! You sinner! Okay, just kidding. Let's go yell in the streets. Let's go yell in the hell! Let's go tell everyone to stop having sex. Can we please? You already do that everywhere you go.
Starting point is 00:50:24 I really do. We love you guys so so much. Invite them into your circumstance. Let's go tell him we want to stop having sex. Can we please? You already do that everywhere you go. I really do. We love you guys so, so much. Invite him into your circumstance. Like Ari said, you are nowhere near too far gone. Be empowered. This should empower you. Be encouraged.
Starting point is 00:50:35 We're going to pray for you right in the comments if you want prayer about anything, even this specific thing. We love you so much. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May He make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May He turn His face towards you and give you peace and self-control. We love you. You got this.
Starting point is 00:50:56 You really do. Amen.

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