Girls Gone Canon Cast - ASOIAF Episode 284 — ACOK Tyrion III

Episode Date: September 25, 2026

Stannis boots up his LiveJournal tell everyone that Baratheon-Lannister heirs are just Lannisters. Tyrion gossips about it with his best frenemy, Varys, who weaves a web around the new Hand. Eliana's reddit account: https://www.reddit.com/user/glass_table_girl Eliana's blog: https://themanyfacedblog.wordpress.com/ Chloe's twitter: https://twitter.com/liesandarbor Chloe's blog: liesandarborgold.com Intro by Anton Langhage

Hello and welcome to Girls Gone Canon reads A Song of Ice and Fire. Episode 284, Tyrion 3 and a Clash of Kings. I'm one of your hosts, Chloe. And I am another one of your hosts, Eliana, and I'm here to talk about the show Rain, and as it pertains to Tyrion's reign in Kings Landing, there's nothing actually the same. I was just shocked that there was magic. maybe in this show and Chloe won't reveal to me whether there is

magic or not. I don't know, Eliana. It's a philosophical discussion. What do you think is magic or not? You know, like what's magic? I don't know. Is Nostradamus actually having visions? Or not?

Why is Nostradamus here? Why is he here? Why did they make Nostradamus kind of hot? Actually, yeah, he is kind of hot. I don't know what it is. It's a tall thing, too. Anyways, this is very. this is for another episode.

We should maybe, it sounds like we're going to cover rain. Thanks to Akash last episode, our very good friend who joined us for Tyrion 2. They really got us on that rain again. Aliana is experiencing it for the first time. The very accurate story of Mary Queen of Scots. I look forward to seeing where this road takes her. The very accurate. Just you wait.

Wait till there's more historical stuff. It is a historical fiction. My partner said this is actually a historical fiction in that it is historical. of 2015. I will sit my ice tea to that. That's true as fun. Yes. Your partner went off on that one.

Your partner just ate with that because it's true. It is a historical 20-teens fiction. Speaking of other fiction from, I guess, the millennial era, we are continuing our coverage of Mockingjay. I'm going to jump into some of our housekeeping. We are continuing our coverage of Mocking Jay. and in fact ending it, which is actually devastating this month. That's crazy.

I saw your face when I said episode 284. I was like, yeah, hundreds of A-Swap episodes. There are hundreds of them. I'm shocked every time. Every single time, like, we have increased in number. I'm like, whoa. It's crazy. And we are in like the 10s plus on Hungy Games.

I think we're in like 10 plus. I think we're going to keep going. There's going to just be episodes forever. It'll be. Nice to finish this. Sad, terrible, devastating, of course, as we are in the thick of it. That's right. Characters are dying.

Emotions are high. Alliances are being tested. I don't know. It's just very devastating. I'm just trying to suffer through it with you. So come listen. If you are a fan of Girls Gone Canon and a fan of the Hunger Games, we have been covering the entire OG trilogy on Patreon.

Patreon.com slash Girls Gone Cannon C-A-N-O-N Stranger Tier and Above That's $5 and up Get access to bonus episodes Hundreds of those too So, uh, okay, not hundreds

But we're really actually close to 100 We gotta figure out what our hundredth will be Exciting. Yeah, actually, I didn't even think about that That's another thing of numbers I can't keep track of Like how I told someone recently It's like, yeah, I started getting really involved

In the Song of His In Fire fandom I'm like, and then I stopped and I realized 12 years ago, a whole Chinese zodiac ago. Oh. Anyway. Yeah. If you want to talk to other people still in this fandom, you can by joining our Discord, which is available again on our Patreon for people in the Thunder Turen above. And once a month, we do Brappie Hour, which you missed in September if you were listening to this.

but there is October. Yes, October 25th, 1 p.m. E.T. We will gather for a very festive, autumnal brappy hour. I don't know what's going to make it that way yet, but hopefully some fun. I'll have just gotten back from hanging out with some friends in Orlando from some fun. So maybe we'll do some, you know, wear a costume or something. I don't know, our Halloween party. Someone makes some cider punch, you know, some good pumpkin.

punch. It is cider season. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yes, goodbye, stoned fruit and hello. Cider. Apples, harvest. I'm going to try to make apple butter this season. I made peach cider last week, I think I told you, and that was crazy good. I had an apple butter pork chop in your city, and I think about it still, and I was like, that was a brilliant idea on their part. Not far from you. Anyways.

You should come to Brappy Hour, because we'll probably talk. talk about this there too. We talk about food there a lot with patrons. Join up. Be a thunder tier to your patron. Thunder tier, like our favorite horse, you know? Well, let's talk about some emails and tweets of note that we've accrued over the past few weeks because we are, we've shifted our schedule of recording a little, which is good. This is good, everyone. Look at how productive we're being. We're time traveling fetus, yeah. We're like Tyrion time traveling fetus IRL. Indeed. Speaking of, we got this comment from Usta saying, first Tyrion, let's go. I don't know. Please clarify what you mean. Is this the first Tyrion episode you are listening to from us,

Usta? Did you come to us during Hot D season? Yeah, I'm wondering if maybe just first, first Tyrion after Hot D maybe, you know, like the return of Tyrion. The return of the Tyrion of the king. No, literally. Somehow a good book. Thank you, Ousta. I'm excited to hear what you think about the rest. Tyrion and a clash of kings, because I'm having fun. I'm having a lot of fun with this. This chapter is going to be banger.

This is a brief one, though. Yeah, this is a brief chapter. I know, and that's actually I kind of like it. It's still, surprisingly still a deep chapter. We were able to add a bunch of bullshit to it. Dude, we get the blackwater again. We haven't been in the blackwater in so long. Yeah.

Is that crazy? Tyrion. I was thinking this yesterday. I was like out with people and like while they're talking about something in my head, I'm like, we're doing the black one. I didn't really think about that's how we're ending 2026, but we're going out with a bang. Going out with a bang. Fernando, can you hear the comments? Fernando.

Fernando commented again and said, I'm finishing my first read-through of as Chloe says, A-cock and Tyrion's one of my favorite POVs in this book. I'm excited. please welcome to the stage barefoot contessa Amon DePri. Yes. Yo, literally. Literally, I love Acock. Fernando also had another comment for us very recently, two days ago, saying, and Janos will find out that the cold will bother him anyway.

This apparently took Fernando out and also agrees that Vary's being a huge fan of Bath and Body Works is so relatable. That's so true, though, like the Bath and Body Works thing thinking about it is like, You know how, like, it's very synthetic, the sense? Like, I just imagine various is leaving a very synthetic scent behind. Yeah. Interesting. None of this chapter. We'll get that.

None of this one. Hedrigal senseling, really interesting. Herp fact check, many, often male frogs, gave folds in their throat that looked like jowls because of the skin needed for them to make their mating calls. watch out. Janos is just looking at mate. Up at the wall. No, I love, I love this. I love, I love, I love frog facts. I love frogs. Thank you, Etrical. I love frogs. I love frog facts. I was really excited when we got this. I immediately sent it to close. Like, this is a great comment. I grew up with a lot of fish and frogs. So I'm, like, very amenable toward Froggo. I didn't grow up with...

Pro. I don't know if they were actually Toads, like, looking back on it and not... frogs and I think I forgot if I've shared this story here. It's actually got a sad ending. I used to like catch neighborhood frog slash toads and I was like, yay, this is a pet and I would put them like in a bucket in my front yard with like some rocks and stuff make a little like thing. But then they would be gone the next day. And I was like, oh, they must have like escaped. And now looking back on it, I'm like, did the, did I make it just easy for the birds to find and eat them? I don't know. I feel like you have told us this because I think I told us this because I think I told you how I thought I was saving fish at the fish hatchery.

Yeah. But I was also probably just killing them. I'm losing my mind, you guys. I don't know what I've told you all. All I'm saying is like, maybe don't judge Joffrey everyone. You know, there's psychos all around you. I didn't. I thought I was caring for them.

I wasn't hurting. I was making them a hauling. All right. I was giving it a pet bird, putting it in a manse. You know, like, I wasn't fucking the frogs. That'd be weird. All right, great that you've clarified that one for us. So moving forward with our friend Derek's comment, Derek J said about the last episode.

There's a lot of love for Tyrion 2 actually showing up. I'm glad you guys had fun. We had a really good time with Akash. That was a blast for us. It was crazy because I looked at the timestamp at the end and I was like, oh my God, that was a long as shit episode. We haven't done that in a minute. But it didn't feel long.

It felt like we were having a blast, you know? So love having Akash on. Derek says, so many puns in this episode, y'all got me good. By the way, wasn't there a book called Taming of the Shrill? I think I had to read it in high school. That's Taming of the Shrew. However, however, it's a good one. It is, yeah, Taming of the Shrew would recommend watching it as a play.

If you can, there's lots of interesting different modern interpretations of it now. It's a very, like, interesting play of Shakespeare's, and you might be like, what the fuck? It's also interestingly one of the plays that is a play within a play. They never come back out of it though. And also, we have floated every now and then should we cover the happy ending version of it called Ten Things I Hate About You, which is one of my favorites. Should we cover holes? That also has Kiss Me Kate in it. Oh, yeah.

Remember that's the woman, the character is basically Catarina or Kiss Me Kate? or, you know. So, Kiss me, Kate. I don't remember the rest of the way that song goes, unfortunately, from Kiss Me Kate, which is also based off of this same play. It's really, to your point, and interesting, you never know when that, you should reread it and maybe watch 10 things, because it could come back for you if you watch 10 things. You never know.

I don't know if there's like a film. There could be things in the future. Is there a film diverse? version of this play, like in the way that there is of, like, Titus andronic, et cetera. I have to think. I think there is. And then, if not, like, the 50 actors in the UK will have done it. You know what I mean?

And then also, there's the Kiss Me Kate McClintock with Elizabeth Taylor. You could watch that, too. I mean, there's a lot of variants. There's a lot of variants out there. It's kind of fun. Sorry, I know we're all, like, I'm going really deep into this. But, like, I've watched a performance of it. And, like, you know, during Shakespeare's time, a lot of the actors were usually played

by men and boys, right? And they would play all of the parts. And so I watched a performance of Taming of the Shrew where they did that. And again, it kind of plays with gender in an interesting way because it is kind of a... It ends way more fucked up than 10 things I hate about you. But also there's questions of, is this meant to be like, is she in on it? Is it satirical, et cetera? Things like that.

So anyways, go revisit it. Watch every version all at once. Fight every battle in your mind. Thank you, Derek. You've been leaving some really nice comments, and it's been a pleasure for us to read your journey through the episodes again. All right.

Our journey. You know it. You love it. We're at the lightning round. Everyone feels so bittersweet now as I trudge like a death march toward the end. Oh. Yeah.

Yeah. I miss you with song amazing. We're going to start the lightning round of what we miss between Tyrion 2. a clash of kings, a kash of kings. I know, that was so good. I should do their own podcast also of only

a clash of kings. Yeah, agree. That leads us into Arya 3 on way to Tyrion 3. Arya 3, avoiding the gold cloaks, the group strays further from the king's road. Aria sees a wolf pack.

Every day we stray further from God's king's road. That was one. Every day. They do. Exactly that, actually, as Melisandra and Sanis burned the gods. Speaking of straying further from God, Theon won. Dion's homecoming does not go how he desires it to.

Daddy does not love him. Wow. Parallels. Dineries one. The red waste consumes Danny's people and all feels lost. Until her blood riders carry back word of Carth. Don't get excited It's a marathon, not a sprint John too

John investigates the abandoned Free Folk Village White Tree The fourth of its name here Of its kind Abandoned with J.O. and Sam They wonder what Benjin might have discovered when he rode through here Rambramm Rhyra 4

On the Southern Shores of the Gods Eye The Lannister Soldiers Attack When the battle turns, Yorin sacrifices himself to let them escape. Stepdad, no. Adopted father, no. That, of course,

plummets us dragging and screaming into Tyrion 3 in a clash of Kings, where? The PR and Kings Landing could use some TLC, and Tyrion continues to try to learn how the game is played, and not just played, but also how the game is won, unfortunately. Not so sure. Outcome hazy there.

Stannis sends out a wee, we, we, wee, wee. A little bit of gossip, a little rumor mill around the realm about how Sarsi may have committed incest, adultery, and treason. It seems fake. Fake news. Seems fake, but not. I'm like, this is so Richard Tannis and so gossip girl, but specifically the second Gossip Girl,

because turns out this actually was a plotline, now I'm remembering, because only you and I watched the second Gossip Girl series, which... I think there was also this, there was something like this with like the Ivy plot, too, wasn't there? In Generation 1? I don't remember.

We'll figure that out when we get there, though, also in Gossip Girls Gone Canon, which you guys is just around the corner again in November. I'm excited. Mm, what you say? That you only meant well. Maybe we should record ourselves doing that as our intros for every November. It's a thought.

I'm not against it. I'm not against it. Well, anyways, Tyrion notes that Circe's giving the, like, performance of her life, by the way. Give her the egot. Despite being guilty of, like, the exact charges that the realm is hearing. If we lose the war, she ought to take up Mummery. She has the gift for it, Tyrion says. He lets her freak out, casually glossing over his mention that Stannis obviously can't say Joffrey's the heir, but I'm taking his throne.

Like Stannis has to make some sort of play, whether true or not, of course he has an angle. Besides, more interesting is that he signed it done in the light of the Lord. And we're reminded about that red priestess. Stannis's wife is very religiously devoted to, brought to court. And they can fight fire with God. They decide. Tyrion plans to use the high sceptin against them. Hmm, but first, Circe declares they need to cut off the tongue of anyone preaching Joff is a bastard, or speaking of incest.

Yeah, we have this exchange here of, like, a prudent measure, said Grand Master Paisal, his chain of office clinking as he nodded. A folly, sighed Tyrion. When you tear out a man's tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you are only telling the world that you fear what he might say. So what would you have us do? his sister demanded What would you have me do? What would you have me do? See, people didn't like that in Hot D, but here it is. George did it too, 20 good men.

What would you have me do? I know, but it does really make you think, though, about Hot D and, like, Bissary's threatening to, like, you know, cut people's tongues out for all this and, I guess, doing so. And then even, like, during the reign of Ares, right? Like, that happened. We see this with ill and pain. But, I don't know.

really makes you think. And then we have Tyrion thinking to use Stannis's religion, you know, his little conversion against him. And I'm like, maybe, maybe Tyrion is like kind of starting to learn a little bit of Varius's lesson after all because he's like, wait, there's multiple levers. Yeah, it's kind of disappointing that he doesn't actually chase after it. He focuses on the wrong things. And I think you can see that Circe takes up so much of his psyche.

that because of that like familial trauma and drama, he's more obsessed with both like battling and winning against Searcy but also getting her love somehow despite that. And because of that and winning the council over, he doesn't put enough backbone into this idea. He doesn't put enough PR into anything he does, really. You see it fester and turn against them so easily later. If he had put 20 to 25% more out of Searcy and into working on PR,

The Tyrells wouldn't be able to walk in and take so much control like they do, but by the time they do, they're out of money, food, and options and have no support. And you have this passage in a bit of, when he's out riding later, he had done all he could to feed the hungry city. He'd set several hundred carpenters to building fishing boats in place of catapults, open the Kingswood to any hunter who dared to cross the river, even sent gold cloaks foraging to the west and south, yet still he saw accusing eyes everywhere he rode. Yeah, the gold cloaks, notably very, very loyal to the citizens of the town. Just saying, sorry, like, trickle down economics here. How much of that foraging and food is going to trickle down from the gold cloaks? Yeah, that's true. It's crazy to watch it.

Like, Tyrion does not publicize the good. He's so consumed with Circe. She really is the H-Bick. She really is that bitch. She really is out there. Like, he's so consumed with defeating her and winning that just doesn't even work on the stuff that he should be. He does make a great call, though, with the chain here that we hear it, because if you can prevent your armies from getting hit in general,

especially when you have weak armies, new armies, green armies, you don't have enough weaponry. He's just telling him drop and give me all the chain. You know, that's good if you can prevent the enemies from coming in the first place. That's a great protective measure, not losing any of your men. But if it doesn't work, you're double-fucked. So it takes a very bold man to pull that off as you start to see here. Is it always the smart choice with Tyrion? Maybe not. But he does have gall.

He does have gall. I mean, like some of the bets, they, you know, it does pay off, but that's a good point. Like, I do think that the idea of, like, opening up the Kingswood, right? Like, having carpenters build fishing boats, like, all these things. Like, these are good ideas. But as you said, he's not. he's not thinking about like oh we should use it to make them love us

they can't only fear us like Tom and Mersela and Circe should be out passing out the alms as they get them that they've taken right like yeah there should be some sort of PR to make that I mean they've lived like gods yeah and I mean maybe I don't know if he's like thinking

like they'll just all attribute it to Joffrey that's fine and they'll hate me but I'm like it's interesting when you think about it, like, he's not meant to be a scapegoat. Like, I do think, like, his father legitimately was like, Tyrion, I'm not going back there. You go do this. Like, you can fix it right. I don't have time. Yeah.

And, like, I do think his father did not send him there to be a scapegoat, but he should have helped unscapegoat himself. I think he didn't at first. I think he did in the end, though. I think in the end he saw, oh, yeah, this shit's fucked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. True, true, true. Well, Tyrion suggests to let everyone talk. Just let them gossip.

They don't have proof anyway because, like, it didn't happen, right, Sircy? And she's like, yeah, sure, there's no proof because, of course not. And Littlefinger then backs Turing up. He's like, you know what we should do? We should just fight fire with fire. Tell everyone that Salis has a lover and Shereen is born out of wedlock. And then Circe makes some suggestions for who they can tell everyone. is Saliza's lover.

She's like, yes, I like this. Who can be named as Lady Salisa's lover? She has two brothers, I believe, and one of her uncles has been with her on Dragonstone all this time. And I'm like, someone tell Circe that it was like very weird for her that her first choices were to suggest like Saliza's siblings. Like all we had suggested in this idea was make Stannis seem like a cuckold, right? Not suggest incest.

Yeah, it is a tab. especially when you have later that fixation she gives with Marjorie and Loris too, right? Like she does the same thing to them. It's a bit of a tell. Great call. And it's also kind of fun because you have that line of like on Dragonstone with her uncle. And I'm like, oh, many such cases in Dragonstone with girls and their uncles, wouldn't you say? I don't know.

I don't actually know if it's a real connection. but that's what it made me think of the second I read it and I'm like, ah, Dragonstone, the place where people bone their uncle. That's true. That's true. Yeah, I don't know. I just think it's funny that it's the first thing she goes to. And Littlefingers, like, he very, like, I think seamlessly pushes us in a better direction if we're making these things. He's like, okay, what if it was someone not related to her? you know, let's open up, let's open up the pool.

Let's not put the eyes right back to us. Yeah. Let's open the pool of candidates. But it's interesting because as we go through this, it's like, again, it's so obvious to see. I know. It's so obvious to see, guys. Yeah. Well, with that, Little Finger goes on to make gargoyle jokes about Shereen.

He's like, how about Patchface? They're fooled. and this appalls Paisal that Salis would take a fool into her bed I'm like well she took Stannis like that's bad enough he's like not even appalled that like we're suggesting that Salis has an affair right or cuckold Tennis he's like a fool a fool yeah that is pretty fucking funny honestly it is very funny and Littlefinger suggests countering that accusation with the rumor that

Shereen is patch face his daughter his logic is that the strangest stories spread fastest, especially when they have just a little bit of truth to make people hesitate. So he says, we have this quote from Littlefinger that really stood out to me, I like my tale better. And so will the small folk, most of them believe that if a woman eats rabbit while pregnant, her child will be born with long, floppy ears. Hmm, feels almost Danny-ish, but also... I was thinking that.

The idea of, like, strangers stories, like, having just a little bit of truth. Like, we see that throughout the series. We see Littlefinger utilize that a lot. But it also kind of makes me think of like, is this idea just kind of planted in Tyrion's head and he reaches for it when he's like trying to hurt Jamie? And that's why he's like, I don't know.

And Moonboy, for all I know, right? Like, it's just buried in subconscious. I mean, she's not fucking Moonboy because she's not related to him. But the way that also Tyrion doesn't push back against like this horrible talk about Trin, it's like really rude. Shows how normalized this has become to him that like people are going to talk shit about how this girl has become deformed, right? And like he's been on the other side of this talk.

So there's this sort of like hypocrisy to it, but also like he just accepts it because he's always, he's like, this is just how things are, right? And I do think, especially because Shereen is likened to a gargoyle. And we have a lot of language that likens to Tarian to both a gargoyle and like a grotesque. They're similar. Apparently, like, water only comes out of one. But, you know, and it's interesting because gargoyles are meant to be protective. So, yeah. Kind of worrisome now that I think about it in terms of Shireen's storyline, but also interesting in terms of the themes for Tyrion.

Oh, yeah, you didn't think that there was anything worrisome about that already. I mean, yeah. She had a chance before you read that line, Eliana, but now it's over. It's my fault. I killed Shereen. Headline news. Local man gone canon kills Shrine. Local man gone kidding.

Oh, uh. Yeah, Circe loves the idea, by the way. She's like, obsessed, let's do it. Good enough. While Tyrion realizes, huh, Littlefinger might be more dangerous than I thought. They agree the rumor cannot obviously come from the crown. So Littlefinger will use the brothels,

and Varus will spread it through taverns and pot shops. I do think it's fun showing Tyrion's a fish out of water, and he's in clutches of tougher political actors than him. Like Littlefinger won that. He had the clever idea, and he had it faster, and he had it louder. And if Littlefinger can just do that and weaponize these lies like that, what else could he do to weaken the throne? Unfortunately for them, no one takes him seriously, and he does literally transform his companion into something bigger and watches us.

It's like betting, right? Like he's sports betting on the crown. And he makes his own play. There's this line what Tyrion actually says is, this one is more dangerous than I knew. He reflected Littlefinger's gray, green eyes met the dwarves mismatch. stare with no hint of unease. We all have our gifts, my lord. The queen was too caught up in her revenge.

Take note of the exchange. I liked this line also because of like, it's kind of showing us a little bit more of like the way that George perceives how in world characters see Littlefinger differently than the readers. We have like this irony going on here because we as readers. I mean, we know that Little Finger's full of shit. He killed our good friend. Edard Stark

Um And I agree I did But I do I still am like I don't know that like George like

portrayed it necessarily the way that he thinks But we're seeing now Tyrion And then people underestimate And be like wait Yeah Hold up

What's going on A little finger So Tyrion's chapter especially Like I think you can kind of Ever since Varis told him like Open your eyes

And look and you'll see Open your eyes Open the schools Veri said that Open the schools. He literally, I was thinking of. He's actually anti-schools, if you think about it. He's like pro-child literacy, but he's like anti them learning anything else if you think

about it. Yeah, cut their tongues out, please. Yeah. He's like, children should not be seen and not be heard. No. So. Fuck. Oh, you've got to be stopped.

I know. I'm getting, saying like wild shit now in my 12th year. So, when seriously. in the fandom I know When Sirsey asks where Verries is Maybe it's 13th

Tyrion knows I think it's 13 But keeps it to himself He leaves the council by saying He has a gift made for Joffrey A little chain That he says the king may someday treasure Above all others

And so he leaves To his chambers and gets ready While baby boy Padrake dresses him Oh, cutie boy, sweetie boy, we like little Padrick. We have this little quote, The Hand's private audience chamber was not so large as the Kings, nor a patch on the vastness of the Iron Throne Room,

but Tyrion liked its mirish rugs, wall hangings, and scents of intimacy. As he entered, his steward cried out, Tyrion Lannister, Hand of the King. He liked that, too. I thought that was fun. he does love being loved as we know. Yeah.

Yeah. And that really just builds up throughout. Who doesn't? I'm not saying I don't. I love being loved. It's just kind of, he can't admit it to himself. He, like, doesn't know that's what he wants. And I think you really see that build up throughout his chapters, like that I don't think

I truly understood, even though I had been talking. We had been talking about it for a while. Like, I don't think I truly understood it till this read through. It's like in every same. For it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's really sad. It's very sad, I feel for him. But, you know, some of it is, I guess, a bit itself inflicted because, you know, he's like, was Padrick sent to me, like, as a punishment? His initial assumptions about Padrake kind of show that lack of curiosity about the people around him.

He does come around on Podrick, right? Like, I think we see that when he's like, Patrick, name all these banners. And he's like, okay. All right, good for you, Potty boy. and I... But you can't even name the first 10 albums, Patrick. It also... This is a throwaway thought, but it makes me think of, like, Erienne being saddled with, like, young Elia, right?

And you're like... I can't... I can't govern her, and it's, like, taste of your own medicine. Mm-hmm. And to that point, like, it is interesting to see the other side of... what it means to be assigned, like a new recruit or, you know, squire. Yeah, your responsibility.

Considering so many of the other POVs throughout a song of ice and fire, they are children and they are the ones being assigned and getting a mentor, whereas Tyrion is actually the perspective of someone trying to be a mentor. And be like, I don't know, what are like fucking pass on? What do I do? Yeah, how do you be a mentor when you're a terrible fucking bachelor? That does nothing. You don't always realize you're being put in a mentor position.

He's like 27 and he's like, uh, hello squire. But like a kid's going to perceive you as a mentor and learn from you. And something I have learned in adulthood is actually like none of us fucking know what we're doing. Yep. Literally. Literally. Literally peep that, clock that. There's a plot.

Hey, can you clip that Jake and Allie? Thank you. This is a plot in the hit show, season two of adults. Have you finished? I have, I have. This is the fake ID episode, I think. Yes. Yes. I saw, I love that because I literally called everything that was going to happen, by the way. And then it happened. And Emmett looked at me when he saw it all happened in the last episode. I was like, told you. Oh, in the very, very last one. Yeah. It was, it was telling the entire episode. I was like, oh, that was beautiful. And now I'm watching that new Mindy show, by the way.

The one that got canceled. Literally canceled? Not suitable for work. Yeah, yeah. The old way that we use canceled. Yeah. That's sad. I did.

I do like that show. I mean, yeah, I like it. It suffers from the same issue as like sex lives of college girls where, as we say, every single episode on this podcast, bring back 22 episode seasons. Yeah, it needed more time and I'm not finished with season one yet, but I really like it. So just putting it out there for those looking for our Mindy Kailing update.

Rip. Rip. Rip this show. So other things that are not suitable for work, right? The way that Tyrion acts in the workplace as he meets with the city smiths and orders every forge in King's Landing to stop other work and begin producing enormous steel chains links. This part is actually fine in regards to the work.

It's more of just the way, the demeanor that he brings into the workplace, right? because he's overriding Ceres orders for weapons and armor for the gold cloaks and Tyrion promises the smiths that they will not suffer her threat and punishments. Good! Good work! A master armor, though, named Salorian, who is in fact one of the EV-Lutions, objects that making crude chains is beneath him

and offers to craft Tyrion an elaborate battle armor instead, and Tyrion refuses, saying he plans a fight from his chair and tells this guy, that he can either make chains or wear them. Bad, bad workplace etiquette. Yeah, so, you know, this is not the best for Tyrion, right? He really makes you think is what we're seeing you. It really makes you think.

You know, it's not great, not great, the punishments. So, the master armorer, I really like Solorion by the, the way as a name. Yeah. It's a beautiful name for a baby boy. I find though like this is not a good approach. Um, him objecting, like he objects like this is beneath me and all that. And iron belly, I like iron belly. Yeah. Very excited about meeting iron belly. Tyrion, you know, basically we get this beautiful thing where Solorians like, I can make you this demon armor, which is kind of fun because we look at Tyrion like and see that demon and that gargoyle thing that you were talking about. Yeah.

So he's like, no, I plan to fight for my chair, make the chains or wear them. Iron Belly is like, do I have to follow Circe's commands or yours? Which kind of feels important, right? As we see some schisms and civil wars and Kingslanding pretty often in history. True. Yeah, I do. I think this is like a, we're setting up for the Blackwater, which we all know, because this is a reread podcast.

and run the last POV and so you all know what happens but it does a good job of the suspense building you're like what is Tyrion doing right if you don't know in the first re-through he's having the chain made and it is a very it's arguably very simple right it seems so but like

it is effective as we see in like the defense of King's Landing and but like the chain becomes a motif throughout his entire storyline um you know you have the chain here you have his own own hands chain instead of having a pin. He has a hands chain made. Then he himself is in chains when

you know, he's arrested for crimes he did not do. Really makes you think. But then also like then his storyline intersect with of course breaker of chains. So yeah, there's a lot. There's a lot here in Trian. I'm really glad you brought that Danny thing and I wasn't really thinking that far on it. I actually apparently wasn't either when I first wrote these. I'm very impressed with you. Very impressed. You're pretty good at this after hundreds of episodes. So are you with that overview at the beginning.

Yo, I was a little wild today, huh? I don't know. I, like, did the lightning round this morning, and I just, like, got to the overview, and apparently I quit. Actually, I started, like, leaving more notes. I was getting into what you... Sometimes I come back and I see you've left notes, and it, like, inspires me in different ways, right?

Yeah. It's kind of nice. It's kind of a nice partnership that we have. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, you've got a weekend, caffeinated men gone canon today. It's actually really weird, and we haven't done it in a while, but I actually do love a Saturday record with you. It's kind of nice. Especially because, yeah, it's post, it's not like 8 in the morning, which we do sometimes.

No. I'm caffeinated. No. You're caffeinated. Everybody's caffeinated. We're in. Yeah, I've had one caffeine. I need another caffeine, though.

True. Good. Real talk, real quick. I do need some more caffeine today. I plan to just stay up again tonight forever. Okay. So while we're seeing Tyrion do good, like we mentioned,

it has kind of fucked up that he showed up, said, you're no longer doing the thing that you were told to be doing. Also, I understand that your trade is actually, like, that you're an artisan, and you create artisan pieces of armor that you put your heart and soul into, but you're not going to do that anymore.

you're working for the government and you're going to make a chain and it's going to be the biggest chain of all time and this is all you're going to do until it's done or else I'll kill you. Oh, yeah. That is kind of what happened, right? Like, you did. Is it a metaphor for the others a little bit? Yeah, there is a little bit of that like intersection of class

and the others of the enslavement of the people of like, this is why the small folk hate you. This is it right here. This is why they hate you. You just showed up on their doorstep and you're like, I understand you've worked really hard to cultivate this business, and now I'm going to tear it down. Not unlike, we'll talk about Chitaya and L.A.A.A.A., you know? Yeah, that's true.

Like, yeah, they dragged them into war. And I do, I was wondering, and then I was like, is this like a crazy question to bring up? But I'm going to bring that. Now that I went there. Well, yeah, because I'm like, okay, I understand part of why this man is like, this is not the type of work that I do. I'm capable of it, but I do higher skilled work. likely for a higher rate and pay. Is everyone getting paid the exact same for this? And in terms of like regardless of skill level, is everyone getting paid the exact same for this labor?

Because like that kind of, it does kind of suck, you know? Yeah. Yeah. No, literally. It's like if someone came to me and they're like, we still are going to like be your listeners, but you have to cover rings of power forever. Until it's over. I don't, okay, I will say, like, I do not think anyone should... That, and also, I'm like, well, no one should pay me as much to cover rings of power, because I'm not an expert in this, right? Right, exactly.

Like, that's not who I am. But, like, if it were something, you know, that I'm very skilled and, like, got paid only this, you know, like, I don't know. Like, I could do it, but it's not what I'm good at. And, yeah, it's not my trade, bro. Yeah. crazy and it's like you are like why do the people hate me well tyrian and then on the other ideas on why and then on the other side i'm also like but also all of us should be willing to pitch in for like you know doing the work of like that helps all i don't know no i get it but like they had no

choices about it though and it was not organized and so it's like leadership once more has a vision that they don't plan on executing in an organized manner nothing new executive leadership is fucked in Kings Landing. Yeah, they're being They have no vision. They have no vision. They have no vision. They're killed in all different ways

by the government. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is kind of funny though that man was like, suggested this armor and I think like what? They kind of pan around,

quote unquote, pan the camera on and people are like, what the fuck? This is kind of rude what you're suggesting and this man thinks he's like making a great suggestion. Yeah. He actually takes it pretty gracefully, I guess. He's like,

Yeah. The demon monkey. It's interesting because he actually like takes this and like embraces it later in his crash out and um it double-de-a. Yeah, yeah. The advice to give John that he never like really took until later. Mm-hmm. Absolutely.

So riding through Kings Landing afterward, Tyrion reflects on the city's hunger, despite his attempts to improve the food supply. He also realizes that Circe, like, missed the most important part of, uh, Stannis's letter, which is Stannis has declared himself king, which thus puts him directly at odds with Renly. Fighting inside families, so interesting. Thank God.

Thank God, though, you know? Like, they got a lot going on. I also, like, did think... They got too much going on. I also did think this part, like, as he's going through Kingslanding and stuff, and, like, looking at the people practicing, trying to find informers,

and saying those who are most suspicious are most likely to be innocent, and the innocent ones or innocent-looking ones or the ones he has to beware. And it makes me think of how he's... Partially, he's putting this into practice of, like, reassessing people who look suspicious because, like, you know, people have always been suspicious of him

because of how he looks. He's always been judged on his looks, so he knows, like, that should not be what I go off of, but also makes me think of something we learned when we were reading his dark materials of, like, will being very good at. being invisible, right? Like, those who stand out don't have as much ability to move unseen, right?

As opposed to, like... Yeah. So when someone's suspicious, you're going to be, yeah. And that's great, like, that back and forth he has, too, with various later, kind of telling him, well, here's what you did wrong. Here's how you should from now on come down here if you're going to try to, you know, spy and be here. And he kind of explains that. I kind of like, I like that little, you know, like, look, if you're going to act stupid.

you need to at least act like this. I can't be having you come down here like this. It's embarrassing, man. It's embarrassing. Yeah, there's a lot about all of its observations and of looks. And like you said, like the things that people just say to him, the little microaggressions that he has to deal with all the time. They don't notice, but he does.

Yeah. It's what builds up to his big outbursts in ASOS when he's on trial. That's true, which is a macroaggression. It's aggression. It is aggression. You know, I mean, yeah. A mountain-sized aggression. Aggression.

Literally. Yeah. Literally. So, Tyrion arrives at Chitaya's brothel and pretends he's there for pleasure. Robert once frequented this establishment, and Tyrion tells Braun in the black ears, amuse yourselves while leaving someone behind to gather them later. Chetaya introduces Tyrion to her daughter, Laiya, which leads to, to a brief discussion of the summer island attitudes towards sex and pillow houses that we will talk about here in a minute.

There, Trian also remembers Tisha before forcing himself away from the memory. This is a great passage because Trian's not really sex positive. He's just positive. He wants to have it, you know? So you get to kind of see him like looking at women and getting boners as he walks and then thinking about his horrible past and going, yeah. So good passage, good passage. Elia yaya takes Tyrion upstairs, but instead of sleeping with her, he climbs into a wardrobe and through a hidden passage. I feel like this is obvious to everyone, but I'm going to just say it anyway, that this is kind of a fun subversion of the entrance into Narnia. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice, yes, I agree. Very much, I guess, like into a fantasy world. That is what Shea represents for him.

The brothel, though, it's essentially a cover for a secret route beneath the city and varies is waiting below in complete disguise. He's dressed and moving like an entirely different man. He explains that disguises allow him to travel without attracting attention and casually reveals that some of Circy spies actually work for him to get that bag, double shifts. Overemployment. Over employment. Yes, yes. Are overemployment. No, actually, for real, that's him.

That's them. Oh, I love that shit. I love reading about it. I don't have the time for, like, being overemployed. I just have the time to read about it. But Berries is, you know, not only is he changing how he looks, I like this callout of how he's changing the way that he walks. He also changes his scent. He no longer smells like lavender, but sour wine and garlic.

We'll come back to that in a bit. Me when I wake up. So I think garlic. I guess I do smell like that probably a lot. It's like a hangover scent, yeah. I'm just Filipino. Yeah, I eat so much garlic, dude. Yeah.

Like, when I make my Baba Ginoj, it's like two to three bulbs of the head. It is a lot. And it's raw garlic in the Baba Ginoosh. I was like, okay, we are here. I'd just be making it, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck. Various with the disguises.

This is really interesting. Something as we get into the brothel, it made me think of the bad show how they condensed Chitaya and Eliaia into Littlefinger's brothel and into Raws and these other characters but it's like worth calling out that there's a very big division

between Chetaya's brothel and Littlefingers. I mean, Peter's Brothel is described as ramshackle. It's rickety, it's crowded, it's a great place for him to get people to come fuck for cheap and he can learn their secrets, see their secrets as they have and blackmail them.

You can see what that's about. Now, in Chaita's brothel, it's elegant, it's discreet, it's described as being upscale. So you have this like upscale versus commodity. You have little finger with his new money, his tackiness, his cheapness, shoving people through a door, penny in, penny out. His ideology being money and making it and wasting anyone who gets in his way or selling anyone who gets in his way, right? He sees everyone as a dollar that he can make. Then you get to see like that exchange of the degradation of the city, right? Like Littlefinger and his business ethic and tactics and his kind of philosophy in his business is the seedy part of King's Landing that is decaying and rotten, right?

He has just taken it and found the way to make money. You go back to fire and blood. The child fighting pits, right? Like Littlefinger just saw what the people wanted and gave it to them. So it's sad when L.A.A.A. gets taken hostage by Circe and covers Perterian. Like you see that like generations of this brothel that have worked so hard to have their own business and see it philosophically very different than Peter sees it. Just something really interesting. Something that, you know, I think I've talked about the series a couple times on here, but like the Zoe Ash series by Jason Pargan has a lot of good kind of, not insight, but has some of these kind of thoughts of sex work.

And in one of these books, a sex worker you meet's name is Shay, which I do think is a nod. I do think there's some sort of nod there, but there's a lot of different philosophy there of like the power vacuum of what happens in a city that has been maybe missing tenderly some TLC for a long time, and the politicians are, you know, scraping the barrel in order to, funded, afforded, et cetera, blah, blah, blah. So, of course, the ultimate, this is the most upscale brothel here on the street with a secret passage. Huh, because would Tywin go to Littlefingers brothel if he was interested in it? you think? No. Of course this is where Tywin would go, not to a bustling place like little figures. This is discretion. They're used to discretion. I mean, I'm sure many hands of the

king have come here, but literally as you read the book, the glass is red and gold here. I'm just like pointing that out. Like, who built this tunnel? There's even this line, Veras says later, Chetaya has no cause to love the queen. Of course not. The daughter of the old hand, right? So maybe there's some Circe versus Chitaya in there. Maybe Circe thought she had something big when she caught the Alleyiah and Tyrion story. Not the first Lannister going there. Of course, we get the flip of Shay and Tywin and the reveal to that that that kind of weaves through like a perfect thread to his father's hypocrisy. He's in the downfall of house Lannister in the public eye once more.

The very thing Tywin has been wanting to avoid monkey paw. Your entire house is an embarrassment, buddy. It's what you deserve, bitch. Rest in piss. You know, book one, you have that concept of someone who seems like the best guy in the nation, the most nicest dad of the nation who's seen some

shit, but he knows the right thing to do and that being just is stronger than the evil lanisters, the evil strong force of power in the country that no one can stand against them conniving. While in clash, you follow Tyrion and Storm and you realize, no,

the lanisters are not strong. They're weak, They're fragile. They're not going to survive this. They're going to break themselves down and poison everything as they go. They are the mighty house of atrius, right? The tragic house of atrius. You guys can do all the research on that. We don't need to go deep into the house of atrius.

We've talked about them before. But, you know, King Tantalus served the gods due from his son, Pelops. And then Pelops, his sons fight for the throne, slaughter each other and their children and all sorts of incredible shit. Anyways, all of it leading to Menelaus and Egana Menomonamin. You know, it's an egg-a-man-a-man-nomin-on. Passionate murder, betrayal, sex, all that shit. Inescapable tragic doom. Just like fucking drama after drama.

And that's what I like about the Lannisters. I love that they are strong and weak, that Circe and Tyrion, like, have strengths that that complement one and others and weaknesses that tear the others down. And Jamie as well in the mix of it. And their father has fucked them up so bad. And, like, that's what the story is. That's the woven thread. The thread leads to.

Oh, Tywin's kingdom of piss. They're just so, I don't know, Tywin in his quest for them to all become gods, you know, to get one over on them. That vision with Joanna and Jamie. Yeah, just so sad. The sad way. Kind of fuck them.

I am a knight. And then also, yeah, House of Atreus, they do have, like, or a lot of interesting stuff going on. And then, of course, they become House of Trades. No one, like, understood when we were watching. the Dune trailer for The honesty, I was like, you guys, we just really watched, like, the past and present of House of Trades. Yeah. People were like, what the fuck are you talking about?

Your time to shine has finally arrived. They were like, what are you talking about? I was like, how do you not know? Anyways. God, the Incephorable. Inseverable at the movies. That's me. Maybe that's why no one takes you to the movies.

That's so true. But, yeah. They really could. They really could have done something if, like, Tyrion and Searcy could ever fucking team up. Yep. The tragedy, they never can. I know. Well, we have then, let's dig into this passage of Chatea explaining her business philosophy of why her daughter is part of the family business at age 16 and the family... It's an interesting family business. My people hold that there is no shame to be found in the pillow house. In the summer aisles, those who are skilled at giving pleasure are greatly esteemed.

Many high-born youths and maidens serve for a few years after their flowerings to honor the gods. What does the gods have to do with it? The gods made our bodies as well as our souls. Is it not so? They give us voices so we might worship them with song. They give us hands so we might build them temples. and they give us desire so we might mate and worship them

in that way. A little proto, what we get in the salmon gilly, of course. Yeah, that it is. Fieres explains that Circe's watchers know that Tyrion has entered the brothel, which gives them an innocent explanation

for his disappearance. The tunnel itself was originally built for another hand, who wanted to visit the brothel without being seen. Burr-bur-br-oh, who could it be? It's one of those things with George where, like, I know people are like, I don't know that it was him. It doesn't mean it didn't build them.

Maybe it was someone else, but he definitely used them. I think that's the most important part. I definitely agree that he used him. I just like, I'm not, I feel like they're so old that they were there before, but I do think he used them. And as you pointed out, the red and gold cups, Chatea's been doing this for a while. it is kind of... It does make me wonder, like, especially when you go back to like blood and cheese, right?

Like, you have passages throughout the entire thing. I think they totally existed in even Magor's time. And like, granted, sure, not all of Hot D is canon, but clearly there's some sort of passage in season one of Hot D leading from those chambers to like Flea Bottom or Street of Silk that we see used by the royals to go there or like, you know, when

Damon's like, I'm going to take my niece out on the town and... Uncle and niece, wow. Uncle and niece. Or, you know, even like when Agan's like, I'm going to take my younger brother out on the town. Brother and brother.

Okay. Brothers. Yeah, different, they have a very different relationship than an uncle and niece. and in multiple ways. Yeah, absolutely. I think there are passages that people just found and utilized maybe more than anything, you know. Yeah.

And, like, again, I just like don't know, because also, to an extent, like, some of those passages depicted in season one of Hot D. I don't know how canon they are or not, whatever. But agreed, Taiwan definitely uses them. They emerge several blocks away in a state. where Vary's provides Tyrion with an old horse and oversized cloak. His reasoning is simple. People see what they expect to see. So instead of seeing Tyrion, they will likely see a child riding through the city.

And like, I don't know. Like, I'm, I don't mean this to be flippant, but I do think like it's giving in Bruges, which definitely I think came out after this, but whatever. Oh, yeah. No, I see what you mean, though. I like you. Yeah. We like that. Okay.

I've seen a movie. One. Yeah, because she got kicked out of the last two for being in, well, actually, about the house of atrium. Don't you guys get it? The house of atrium. Enter the house. Enter. Oh, my God.

Oh, I guess that's what we're doing here now, though. We are entering a house soon. Kind of, yeah. As Vary's prepares the horse, Tyrion brings up Stannis's accusation about Jamie and Sersy and Vary says the truth was visible in Robert's bastards. all had dark hair regardless of their mothers, unlike Cersie's three golden-haired children. It's a fun passage about the whole child thing, though, right? Like in doing his father's bidding at night? Because, like, is Tyrion not doing his father's bidding in some aspects at night?

Like, he already is going around doing his father's bidding. Also, the Veris is, like, trying to mold him and groom him and coach him. And Tyrion's like, yeah, sure. Not getting it. Not getting it. Not getting it. Tyrion asks who whispered the truth to Stannis if it wasn't Varus. And Tyrion suggests Littlefinger and Varus refuses to name anyone, right, leaving him with no clear answer.

I kind of think this is like a someone told kind of event. I don't know that it's on one person. And I don't know who it was. It could have been Little Finger, right? Making a snide little remark. But also Varis explains to Tyrion that like it's not like this is an invisible situation. Like if you just open your eyes, you'll see that the hand of the king and councilmen can see the obvious. And you will see the obvious.

Like Stanis' child came out, richly strong featured, despite the crackled molded skin. And Stanis says at the parley that he was the one who brought his suspicions to John Aaron, right? He says, I did not keep silent. I brought my suspicions to John Aaron. So who knows if it was Littlefinger? We'll dance around that here in that passage, look, and you'll see it. But like, bastards everywhere for eyes to see. Like, as we hear from Maggie, there were 16 bastards.

As we hear from Varies, he knows about eight. They're everywhere, and they look just like him. They do, they do, which is interesting. Well, they're not everywhere anymore, I guess. Rip, for real. Rip. But there are quite a few still alive, and I guess this does speak to, like,

the theory that Varies has scrolled some of them away, right? Yeah, proof stuff. He has a bastard collection, yeah. Yeah, for sure, actually. Just in case, like, Circey does something and accidentally doesn't burn everything down. Yeah. I also like, I like this passage, too,

with what it's talking about last Tyrion chapter, but also, I think it's interesting, right? Because he's all, like, who told Stannis and, like, you know, from what we hear from Stannis and also, like, the way that he was talking with John Aaron, and that John Aaron was doing, like, proto-punate squares, but like with a more complicated method because he was using dogs,

which is like less of a control than using flowers, whatever, like, Mendel and stuff. I don't know. Anyways, I don't know that anyone like told because as various studies,

he's like, I don't know, just open your eyes, right? Yeah, exactly. But I do think Varies wants Tyrion to think someone told and to raise suspicion.

To keep him on his side against Little finger. Yes, exactly. Exactly. He's like, but maybe it's, it's like Littlefinger. I mean, I do think Little Fingers done

and knots your amount of things. Yeah. And like, in regards to the way that he's like weaving this varies. Like I think it's interesting because like this idea

he's saying of not only like power residing where people believe it resides but also like very as various says like you know, people see what they expect to see but also more of people see what they want to see

I think. Like, Vary's is, it's called out that Varies smells different in this chapter, right? Like, he smells like sour wine and garlic, not like lavender. Because he's misleading people who not, who don't only see with their eyes, right? Like Mastor Amon tells us and Johnny's like, I don't know that like that Lightbringer is a real deal because it didn't have any heat. So how could it have actually been a flame? I couldn't feel it. And Stanis, like, he can

He can finally see that Circe's children are bastards, yet he's the one who cannot see that the sword is not real, not because he expects it to be, but because he wants to believe that he is important in the same way that Tyrion wants to be loved, right?

And Various is doing the same thing with John Connington. It's not that John's like, I don't know, a blonde-haired kid, even though I've been in the free cities and seen a fuck ton of blonde-haired valerian-looking people. Like, it's not that he's not that he's, He expects to see Agin, son of Rhaegar. He wants this child to be Agan, son of Rhaegar.

He needs it to be Agan, son of Rhaegar. Yeah, like, the lines between want and need for our personal, like, hopes, the things that we need as humans and people, like, blend in this story. That's what keeps him doing war crimes, like. Yeah, no, for real. Literally. And this is what the people of Westeros will see when, like, Vary's is, like, varies is, like, like, we're going to put it in such a state that they need this sort of hope, right? And, like, Tyrion, Tyrion wants, he needs to see himself as, like, this righteous, competent, like,

administrator setting things correct in Kings Landing. And he's like, he needs to see himself as this underdog who's smarter and better than everyone, because he's, he's been treated so terribly, right? And Vary's feeds this story for Tyrion. And all the while, it just draws Tyrion even deeper into like his own plots and web. Into the web. Sorry, you guys, I couldn't resist. The spider. No, it's amazing, though.

It's true. And I love what you've brought into it there, like, with Egan. Because that's it. Like, all these people are seeing what they want. That's what power is. That's what Varius is trying to show him and teach him. That's true. Yeah.

Yeah. He's giving him the answers. And then he kind of, like, plays with it a little, I guess, by accident with Agan. and be like, you want to go to Westrest, don't you? What do you need a girl for? I've had girls. They're not impressive. Yeah. But you can play with armies.

No, for real. He's like, you can play with armies. Go find yourself. Go meet the Dornish women, essentially. He's like, blow your life up with Arian and Adelaia. Blow your life up. Yeah, live a little bit first, kid. So then we come to the end of this passage.

It is one thing to receive a king, quite another to hide from the cricket in the rushes and see the little bird in the chimney. Besides, the bastards were there for all to see. Oh my God, Chloe was so ready. I feel like I could hear your voice in like Eldon Ring being one of the NPCs. They're so weird.

Hire me. No, for real. Okay. Robert's bastards, what of them? He fathered eight to the best of my knowing, very sad as he wrestled with the saddle. Their mothers were copper and honey, chestnut and butter, yet the babes were all black as ravens,

and as ill-omened, it would seem. So when Geoffrey, Macella and Tarmine slid out between your sister's thighs, each as golden as the sun, the truth was not hard to glimpse, Tyrion shook his head. If she had born only one child for her husband, it would have been enough to disarm suspicion. But then, she would not have been Ceresy.

If you were not... I know, it's so good. If you were not this whisperer, who was... Some traitor, doubtless. Vary's tightened the cinch. Little finger? I named no name. Trian let the eunuch help him out.

Lord varies, he said from the saddle. Sometimes I feel as though you are the best friend I have in Kingslanding, and sometimes I feel you are my worst enemy. How odd. I think quite the same of you. Wow. I love their friendship. Oh, my God.

Ooh. Ooh, woo. So cute. Move over me, girls. It's so funny because he's like, again, he's giving the answers to him, like, right there. And Tyrion's not even getting it. He's like, what? What do you mean, Ella Mayo?

It is kind of, like, interesting to me how much Beres is just telling him with this and how quickly in three chapters we've seen Tyrion just like full on go all in. Like, I'm relying on Varies. He's my number one man. He's my best friend. Like, from- He doesn't have a lot of other options. but like, come on. Come on, though.

It's like, it's the scope of it is just wild to me, right? Like, he goes from talking to him in the first chapter and, like, using Vary's as an advisor and to help him figure out who to hire the last chapter, the second chapter in a clash of Kings. And like, that makes sense to me. But now he turns out he's like handed, varies also his personal life, his sex life, and is like, help me find a passage to like whisk me away to Shays. Like, he's given this man his whole life.

Keys to the fucking castle. Again, that's why I'm like, the whole Egan thing is Tyrion's fault in a lot of ways. Like, he opened the door for it even more. And I'm not, you know, I mean, he was fooled by one of the best players in the game, to be fair. But like, you handed it to him. You did this. This is you.

Like, this is what, and that's why the reveal in Adawada is so big. Like, this is what you were doing. Did you know? You were a pawn. Does he know? Is he stupid? Is he stupid? Yeah. It's just... No, just self-absorbed.

It's really crazy to see, like, you know, Barry's just do the whole thing. He's like, I am... I had too loose of a grip on Ned Stark. I thought visiting him in prison once was enough. No. No, this time it's going to be way different. I'm not letting that happen again.

I mean, she is essentially as high. a hostage. Yeah, that's true. She was already a hostage to Tyrion in some aspects. Now she's a hostage to fucking Varus and Tyrion. Like, Tyrion do you not get like your paid live-in girlfriend is paid live-in for Varyce now? Yeah. And Vary's was like, once again, we're going to have a trial, but it's not, I'm going to have way more control over it.

And no one's going to get surprise executed. In fact, again, once more, Vary's had it set up that like, yeah, he'll go to night's watch things will be good. No, you're right. Nope. That was the answer to that trial. Every single time. He's like, I can fix it with the night's watch.

Yes, the most honorable. The most honorable. It's kind of crazy because like this plot heats up after this, right? Like next chapter we have the three, the three lies. What one's the truth? Two lies and a truth or whatever the game is. Oh yeah. Look at all the fun we're having.

It's coming. I am having fun, actually, by the way. I just love that. I love that lot. I love that delivery. I know you do. No one can stop me. No one can change me.

I've tried. Boy, have I tried. Oh, my God. Love is sweet, dear Ned, but it cannot change a man's nature. I know that's right. Well, what do you think about Tyrion 3? kind of the last time he gets to have anything for himself, I feel like. Interesting.

Like, it goes downhill after this. I know. Yeah. No, I'm not sure like that I do. So I don't know. I think it's great set up to see how he's accustomed and is now like making moves in Kingslanding. Akasha Kings is very much like within the political realm of the books, right? less of the magic, except for, I guess, the comet at the beginning and whatever's happening in

Stannis's storyline. I take it all back. I take it like what I just said. It's literally like we just had Danny have the dragons. What are you talking about? Yeah, I take it all back. I take it all back. So confusing sometimes to be a girl. It's so confusing sometimes to be a girl, which is why we're men gone canon now. So we won't be confused. Actually, we won't get, we won't get, um, can't. get hurt again. Won't get fooled again. Yeah.

Fool me three times. Fuck the peace sign. It's been a blast. We're going to be back with the next Tyrion chapter for you all. Thanks for listening along. Four. Ah, Tyrion for you all. Nathan, for you.

Oh, my God. That is kind of what he did this chapter a little. Anyways. So if you need to keep up with our episodes or we want to keep. If you want to keep up with our episodes, what's happening in Girls Gone Canaan, you can't. On social media at Girls Gone Cannon, that's C-A-N-O-N, both on Twitter and on Blue Sky.

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like two hours for no reason. So please go look at it. It's on our Patreon. We'll link it below. I've been one of your hosts, Chloe. And I've been another one of your host, Eliana. A pleasure to be here. Can't wait for Tyrion 4 with you all.

Bye. Bye. Time to go eat garlic. Probably. I don't know. I actually don't know what I'm doing for lunch. Time to eat sour wine. Eat sour wine.

What the fuck is happening? Goodbye. Oh, it's thick. Ugh.