Girls Gone Canon Cast - ASOIAF Episode 285 — ACOK Tyrion IV

Episode Date: October 2, 2026

Tyrion plays two lies and a truth. Eliana's reddit account: https://www.reddit.com/user/glass_table_girl Eliana's blog: https://themanyfacedblog.wordpress.com/ Chloe's twitter: https://twitter.com/liesandarbor Chloe's blog: liesandarborgold.com Intro by Anton Langhage

Hello and welcome to Girls Gone Canon reads A Song of Ice and Fire. Episode 285, Tyrion 4 in a Clash of Kings. I'm one of your hosts, Chloe. And I am another one of your host, Eliana. Welcome once more to a podcast that may or may not become a podcast about rain in its final moments. I can't believe it. We've been discussing it the past like three episodes now. the three episodes of Girls Gone Canon of which you are here.

It's only been two episodes since we convinced you to start it and you're already like about to finish season one. I'm very excited about this. I was lamenting that it is not beloved in my household. There are many shows that I will watch where my roommate will be disinterested seemingly and then suddenly find himself having an interest in that show, right? Like this happened with other shows, and I'm going to say it. I'm just going to say it. It happened with keeping up with the Kardashians, where he realized, oh my God, this is like a horror.

I must watch every episode with you. So like that great loves it. Yeah. But you know what? Rain is not. It's one of those shows I will seek to watch independently if I must watch it in my household. You catch me on like park benches. I'm watching Rain on my phone trying to stare at the little screen.

Like, it's pretty bad. It's not good. allowed in this household, so I gotta go fly to you. I thought I was going to be not allowed in my household in the same way, but the household is like greatly enjoying it. You know, the household is here. The household is like really appreciating it once again. What is this fragment of 2015-slash-2010's culture, but also-

Historical fiction? Every single, every now and then, like, the show decides it has budget for songs or something. And we're like, why is this a song that they chose? And my partner will be like, what do you mean? This is my favorite song. This is the song I play every day on my playlist. I'm like, stop. But you know what's crazy?

You can literally go through a bunch of my A-Swath playlist and you can chart when I was watching Rain for the first time in, like, 2015. No, I actually, I legitimately hate these songs. Like, I do not understand that we've gotten to the point in the first season where... Luminier's ass fucking. I'm sorry, it's not like my thing. It's not my bag. And also, we've gotten to the point in the season where I guess the focus groups were like, please stop telling us your weird, like, opening narration of Mary, Queen of Scots,

but long may she rain. They've stopped doing that. It's now just the song. It's fascinating because I actually, I have. Actually, even after saying that, still cannot conjure the song in my head. I don't even remember it. And then the dancing and the, yeah, you know, so this is a song of ice and fire podcast.

It actually is. But it could turn into a rain podcast. What do you think? Right in, we've already had a note from our friend, Dr. Finn, who is very thrilled about our journey. with rain that Eliana has finally embarked on. I was just waiting for you to come to it. My favorite part also, before we move on to the actual topic, is that

Eliana message me. It was like, wait, there's magic in this. And I couldn't even respond because I was cackling so hard. I just didn't understand why there would be magic in it. And like, I think there's only really, like, maybe, I'm not sure if there's more magic or not. There's really only one aspect of magic. I'm going to just warn you all because I went into this not knowing at all. So I was confused when there was prophecy.

And I was like, wait, but that's like kind of true because there is a Mary Queen of Scots that really did exist, right? There are many people in the show who technically did exist, maybe not in the way that they did in the show. So I was like, wait, what do you mean? Nostradamus has prophecy. Why is Nostradamus here? so many questions that I have but also Dr. Finn is called out

you know, she has a paper she gave this past February about how Catherine Demedici operates as a narrative and historical anchor in both rain and also per her words and the absolutely bad shit amazing stars show The Serpent Queen which you absolutely must watch if you are a fan of Catherine. I don't have stars

but that doesn't mean I can't access this show That doesn't have to stop you It doesn't have to stop me But also I've heard Was it you? Someone else has brought up the serpent queen But I cannot I have watched it

I believe someone else has brought it up I like that And the Spanish princess is really good I'm like a fan of all Of these You're a fan of my lady Jane Which Dr. Finn also brought up Yes

You know what I know it's one season And I know that's your ick But you should really do it anyway It is my ics It was such a good season. I know it is. And also, like, re Nostradamus, he did come to court, you know.

Yeah, I just was, like, surprised that he was... It could have happened. I was just surprised that he was here, and also that he wasn't, like, as creepy as I thought he would be. I was just like... Kind of a gentle giant situation, right? I just watched him have sex, like, at the other episode. Gentle giant. And I was like, what?

And he has this fixiation tank. Oh, yeah. Yep. Bash. Bash is interesting. Our Robert Barathy and John Snow hybrid. Kind of, I'm confusing. He's giving Nate from Gossip Girl.

Nate Archibald. He's giving Nate Archibald because of I'm nearing also Gossip Girl season. This is now a CW podcast, I guess. But people used to think we're an HBO podcast, but we're not. Yeah. HBO no longer gives us money and now it's the CW. They both could be giving us money. You know, we could have the best of both worlds.

You know, what else has some prophecy to it? That we're going to finish mocking Jay this month, the final prophecy. It will be done. It will be done. I was thinking one of the girls that one of the ladies bash runs into, I'm like, why is she dressed like Catniss? Like, this is also middle of 2010s. She's wearing a Catniss outfit. So I was like...

I mean, he is like the Liam Hemsworth lookalike. That's true. I was like, is this true or is it just because I'm not? I'm in the middle of finishing up Mocking J, which I'm getting some fantastic now leading into, because we will cover the prequel books at some point.

I'm getting some great content fed to me lately, also about T-Boss S and Soder, which is also just about the career. November 20th, baby. Me drunkenly telling people at my birthday party and holding their hands when they say they're excited for soda. I'm like, do you

want to watch it together? Do you want to go to the movies together? I don't know if anyone agreed actually because I was drunk. They're like, please stop holding my hand. I know. No, they should be so fucking enjoyed to be able to do so. I wish I was going to be there. We're going to have to watch that one apart, I think.

But if you want to get it, you never know. I don't know when, but everything's up to fate right now. The corporate gods are deciding. No one knows what Q4 holds for any of us. No, literally. Like, it's a joke. It's a joke. So what I do know that Q3 is wrapping up with is mocking day.

Patrons in the Stranger Tier and Above are going to have access to that episode at the end of the month here in September. Next month, we are still deciding. It sounds like we could do an entire episode on Rain is what I have gleaned from this little intro. So you never know. It depends on where. Eliana lands and if I can go to the park and watch on my phone around corners hiding, my dirty, dirty show that I watch, rain, could be fun. You never know. Might be something else. We'll let you know very soon, though. We'll be deciding that in the coming week or two.

And of course, last but not least, if you want to jump into the thunder tier on Patreon, we do have our brunch and happy hour Sunday, October 25th, 1 p.m. It's going to be a fun time. We're gonna, it might be a little costume you, who knows? I mean, it's the week before Halloween. It might also be vibes, vibes based. It's our autumnal Discord brappy hour. We have a couple of them, actually, but you should come. Yeah, you should come.

I'm actually getting pretty jazzed. I don't know. I was getting served like fall content starting yesterday. I was like, am I now excited about this? I know I'm feeling similar. It all started. And I kind of like forgot it was becoming fall until I had to like really dissect this tweet that I decided to re-share of Hot Girl Summers over. It's the fall of New Minore now.

And I was like, okay. Yeah. That's real. That's so real. Yeah. I love it. I actually am so freaking thrilled for fall though. I can feel it.

It's freaking freezing over here. So. Yeah. I was kind of surprised. I was like looking. And I was like, wow, it, like, really suddenly shifted for you. Geary, very rapidly, it feels. Yeah.

So freaking loot. It went straight from summer into, I guess that's what it's supposed to do into fall. But it wasn't like a gradual descent is what I'm saying. No, absolutely not. We like a little cold snap. All right. I know we got a few other emails. We'll come back to your comments and emails next episode.

But we're going to jump into Tyrion 4. A-cock today. Indeed. We're going to start with our lightning round what we missed between Tyrion 3 and Tyrion 4, and it's a rather quick one. We're going to start with Brand 2. Happy

Harvest Feast for those who celebrate. That's me, I celebrate. Yeah, now I'm just like, wow, it's Harvest Feast season. We should do it. It should be now. I know. I wish we planned this a little better. We should have delayed a few more weeks each episode.

Well, I'm just like, should we just recover, do the harvest? I don't know. I actually don't feel like we did brand that long ago. We did and we did it. It was like years ago. Anyways, here we are, though, at a Clasha Kings, Tyrion for, Tyrion for you. Two lies in a truth. That would be an incredible Nathan for you episode.

I would love to watch that. Tyrion would start in that episode. If you think about it, maybe, it, entirety of like this first part and like a lot of the other parts of clash for Tyrion are his Tyrion for you episode. He does come in and give business advice. Something to think about. Well, just like Nathan Fielder in this episode of Tyrion for you, Tyrion is going to cause

some mischief as well because he meets with Paisal at dawn over a very sparse breakfast. Boiled eggs, stewed plums, porridge. I don't know. It's not bad. Eliana would feed me this and I'd like it. Okay, I see. I was like, did you mean that I would give you a sparse breakfast? I was like, whoa, I'm sorry I'll step up my game. Some eggs, some plums, some porridge. I'm like, Eliana like understands the art of breakfast that breakfast can just be a couple of different things. Anything's really a breakfast. Simple but fulfilling.

Exactly. Exactly. But I also don't usually eat breakfast. But sometimes I will on a weekend or on a day where I'm like, could be fun. Depends, depends. Sometimes my breakfast, personally. just for me is a Trader Joe's sour strawberry belt Trader Joe's sour strawberry belt sponsor me This would be such a great moment for me to go grab one of my Sunshine LeCroys

who should also sponsor us but they're not and those were free advertisements Yeah it doesn't sound terrible But like Tyrion you know he's a little He's a little rich, he likes his food He's like me though I like my food too Yeah, I really do And Paisal's like, well, I thought this was appropriate while the city starbs.

And Teryans like, I would eat while there's still food to eat if I were you. He gives him two copies of a sealed letter intended for Doran Martel and orders that Pysel sends them immediately. Yeah. So I will say like, for all of his flaws, I do think that Paisel does see himself as serving the realm. like I do respect that he is trying to have a bit of solidarity in eating more humbly it's not like gonna really change anything markedly for anyone outside of these walls but like he was trained and raised to do that he didn't know he would become the grandmaister and sent to Kingslanding he could have ended up in a much more humble house right so I respect I respect that and I think like that's also kind of a mirror maybe to like varies I think

varies as well, believes himself as serving the realm. It's just that they believe that serving the realm is hitched to the philosophies that they believe in. For Paisal, it's the Lannisters. And again, like, because of that, that means he's propped up this regime. It's led to all this. He continues to support them. But the problem is, like, I think he truly does believe in Taiwan's vision.

And I'm like, I don't really know that that's... that's the right path, you know. But I do think he thinks it is. And a lot of people are like that. Again, varies. Even Melasandra, right? Like, clearly, when we see Melasondra's POV, I'm like, I mean, she really, she really believes in all this.

Well, and that's, like, also what Veris was telling Tyrion, too, right? Like, the reason power is where power resides is because everybody has their own servings, their own, like, things that they're trying to obtain. And it's like prophecy, right? Like what you just said, Spurs, like, oh, yeah, absolutely, like prophecy. Like, like your friend Nostradamus. Like, he would bend, he would bend, you know, like anyone can bend something to make it about them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's true. And I think it serves as an interesting contrast to Tyrion. He's clearly raised much more individualistically. He's raised with this sort of, like, scarcity mindset because I think, love was scarce in his household, and they all kind of had to fend for themselves emotionally, because he's like, I'm not, I'm not going to, like, stretch out the food, right? If other people are suffering, I'm going to eat as much as I can right now,

because I don't know that there's going to be anything tomorrow. So I thought that really gives you a sense of what the Lanister mindset is. Also stood out to me that he's like, I'm going to send the serving girl away, you know, I have just this secret that's only for Paisal. It stands out on a reread because we know that children are very much how Vary's does his spying. Yeah, and he does know this to be very clean. The entire chapter and his entire plan has to go off without a hitch. Yeah, and turns out Varies, I mean, like, for all we know, it is this serving girl, right?

Because Vary's does know about this plan, plan with Paisal that Teryn does when he comes to him later at the end. Yeah, and we're going to see that strategy evolve as we go through this, right? But, like, it's so clever because you see that he has to act in truth, but, like, he has very small opportunities to twist the truth in order to reveal the scheming. And he has very liminal space to maneuver. Like, Turing cannot mess up with this because it's very, very, like, various. There's eyes everywhere. It's either little finger or varus that have the eyes, no matter what he does.

Everyone's got their eyes on him. He literally runs into Searcy in the middle of, like, working on his scheming. True. Walpicell sends them, sends these Ravens. Tyrion browses his medicine collection and quietly steals a small bottle. I'm not going to act like I've never, like, looked in someone's medicine cabinet. I'm sorry. But I didn't steal a small bottle.

But I was like, this is a mood, Tyrion. I guess it's more interesting, though, when it's a maister who has all of their stuff out in the open. arguably. Yeah, like hardcore. Like, he's in there looking for like morphine and shit, dude. Yeah. I mean, I guess like, he does have it on display. It's like looking at someone's pain. It's not quite the same as when I violate

someone's privacy. Never mind. It's not the same. Sorry I put that on blast. So, by self, returns desperate to know what was in the letter. And Tyrion refuses and reminds him that he currently speaks with the king's authority. And I'm going to do a

really bad job of chaining these ideas together because I'm tired today. But I do think that there is something thematically interesting going on here, right, with the whole notion of like when they keep saying, I speak with the king's voice, I speak with the king's voice, and how it runs both ways, right? Because the king is so young that he is essentially being used as a puppet by both Ceres and Tyrion and like the entire Lannister family, right? And by saying, I speak with the king's voice, there's this disembodiment that happens. Yet, he is putting his words, right, in the king's mouth, using the king, again, as a puppet, as a body.

And yet, Tyrion, I'm the voice, I am the hand, right? Again, just this disembodiment that happens with the way that language is working, with the way that action happens through the books, and the way that will actually makes. manifest into reality, the power that Akash was talking about two episodes ago. So I think that's interesting as well, like that it flows allegedly through him, right? That Tyrion, therefore, also becomes the instrument, also becomes a puppet in a way. But it also is interesting to think about as this book, we start seeing skin-changing take much more of a forefront in the storyline of Brand when it comes to the wolves, but also what it

means when he starts also going into Hodor's body, right? And what does power mean when it comes to whose will is enacted through whose body? That's all. That is great because I'm feeling like that in the prophecy. Like, it's all interconnected in the metaphorical use, right? Yeah. And that's great coming right off of Brand's chapter. That's really great.

There's a lot of metaphors happening. It's a metaphor. So Paisal starts circling around the surce topic. He's like, well, what about the queen? Isn't she speaking with the king's voice? And Tyrion's like, oh, I don't want to burden my dear, dear sister. And Paisel agrees, citing, of course, the frailty of her sex. Folded really easy on that one.

Didn't you Paisel? That's all it took. And I love that. Again, this is the response to the power question, right? Tyrion's testing it. If he says he's the boss of the king and people like Paisel back down and go, yeah, you're right. Who is the boss? Who is the boss? Him or Circe? Who's in charge? Who's in charge? Who's the boss?

It is confusing. It is a confusing time amongst the Lannisters. He's also being very Lannister in this chapter, like the most Lannister ever. He's being so trickster god. He's like outsmarting everyone. It's fun. It's just like a fun. You're right. He's being Land the Clever Incarnate in this chapter. Yeah. I love that you tied it back to that. Like he is a trickster god and again, that kind of ties back to like the way that we said that De Nereus is a trickster god as well, right? Really makes them work together well.

It is interesting that I guess Paisal, you know, spoilers, I think you all know this, because it's a reread. Turns out, like, is the one who tells Ceresi. But, I mean, that's because, again, as we've established during Ceresci's chapter, she actually is Taiwan with Tietz. Like, she really does, like, choose the same choices. I think he would have made in a lot of aspects.

Not all of them, but some of the cruelest. ones. I'm like, that did come from your dad, didn't it? That actually wasn't who being crazy. And also like, actually you are, actually you're like want to be him. Like that's the truth. Yeah. Tyrion internally is like, I mean, is she frail? Ask Ned Stark how frail she is. Ask our good friend Ned Stark what happened when he underestimated Sircy. I don't know why. It's just kind of funny we've started calling him our good friend. We also have this line of, It was a heavy thing, a dozen Master's collars threaded around and threw each other and ornamented gemstones. And it seemed to Tyrion that the gold and silver and platinum links

far outnumbered those of baser metals. And I'm like, God forbid Paisal serves cunt. This is like very bling, very much bling, bling. I really, really respect that. But also, I really paid attention this time to the actual links, right? And that he notices that he has far more silver, gold, and platinum links than those of baser metals. And so I was thinking, right, so like silver, gold, platinum, these are gold is economics, and silver is healing. And we don't actually know what platinum is. So that makes sense.

These all make sense. but those are the sparkly ones. So he doesn't have a lot of black iron for ravenry, bronze for astronomy, copper for history, iron for warcraft, and steel for smithing is what I took from that, right? Like I took that those are the things he's missing. So he doesn't have the basic ones. He has the sparkling ones. So he's not really well-rounded, right? Like Paisal cares about economics and healing and whatever platinum is.

we don't know. We don't know. And then, of course, like, that the gems are interlaid, right? So, like, I'm not saying he's a sham. I'm not saying he didn't study. But it's interesting because the very grand maister of the whole entire joint right now, like, you know, the RFK, JK, JK. Oh, my God, Master RFK. No. But, like, it is.

It's all, like, his allegiance is to money. It's to the Lannisters. It's not to the Citadel. Like, his necklace is literally made of, of the sparkliest metals, and that's who's sitting as the maister of the citadel. Yeah. Or like the voice, I mean in Kings Landing, not the maister of the citadel, but the voice in King's Landing of the great nation of Western America.

So something in there about that symbolism. I mean, to the point that you're making, like, we don't really know what Platinum represents in the Citadel, but we as a, we as a society, have our associations with Platinum, right? Which, like, what you're saying regarding the gems, it also is. like, well, he's really into fancy shit. Because that's what I think of when I think platinum. I'm like, this is even more precious

than gold and silver. Yeah, seriously. What could it be? It does make me wonder. What do you think? Spitballing? Well, we have, so astronomy for bronze to the sky, ravenry, also sky. Copper is

history, gold is economics, iron is warcraft, smithing, medicine and healing. I'm trying to think about them like, also in terms of the gods in some ways, it's not like, it's not seven. I feel like... Three, four, five, six, seven. Actually, it is seven, right? One, two, three, maybe.

Econ and Warcraft. No, eight. No, no, that's Warcraft. Never mind. Econ. Yeah. I don't know what it could be. Medicine and healing.

Yeah, there's no, like, really through line. The silver makes sense. And, like, diplomacy or like, what's another craft that they would learn that's important? Language. for platform. Yeah. Yeah, maybe language or something. I don't know.

It has to be basicer. Yeah, language, arithmetic. I wasn't sure it might be used for like, I don't know why they would, but like, quote, quote, alchemy or something. But I feel like we've already got that in something else. That is not this.

So I don't know. Right. No, absolutely. Well, I guess it just means he's fancy or no. Tyrion makes Paisal promise that any reply from Dorin goes only to him. And to that, Paisal, squirms.

Yeah. One. One down. Tyrion finds Braun watching the castle fighters training. Next, instead of watching the serving girls as he thought he'd find him at. Braun says, oh, well, brothels are easy to find, but knowing how men fight might save my life one day. He picks out Talid as talented, predictable, repeating the same attack pattern. Braun is now looking almost respectable in City Watch,

Lannister, Crimson and Gold, cloak, and armor. Sir Talid stands out so much. He's in the dungeons right now still, I think. So, like, Rip, he was, like, some of the accused in Marjorie's trial and the lovership. So we'll see what happens to him, but he's with Kyburn. So thoughts and prayers, thoughts and prayers. Next book, like, he's, like, in each book, though. So next book we notice people think he's promising, and he's considered very strapping, but Circe calls him an oaf.

He's like, yeah, but I think he's a fucking oaf. And he dances with Sanzah at the wedding in Asaf's. So keep an eye out for that. We shall. Kind of dunk the lunk vibes, tall of the tall, dunkin the tall, said to be like hot and large. So, you know, that's the whole thing. His shield also has three eyes on it, which is interesting considering the end of Brand's last chapter with the Raven. Crow, whatever.

I did think, like, his sigil was very interesting, right? I was like, whoa. But also, as you said, Talad the Tall, and I'm like, is his name, like, literally just Tall Lad? He's a Tall Lad. That's it. That's my... Like, that's his name. It's Tall Lad.

Thanks, George. I love it. Love it. Truly. I like that set up. Tall lad. He's going to pay off. Something's going to happen to him and do you out.

I know it. I just know it. Poor tall lad. Knock out one of his three eyes. I love the setup of the inter-family drama again. That will be the death of him the day he faces me. He's pledged to Joffrey. He's not like to face you.

Well, things change pretty fast in King's Landing. Also, four years. consideration coming back to Tall Lad DJ Tallad DJ Tallad Okay, okay Instead of Caled, you know, like T.J. Oh, yeah, yeah, the key is to make it

And I think that's the key for For him too. We de best. I think he could still make it. DJ Tallid, we the best. Wait, should we start? The best. No. Absolutely not.

Well, okay, moving on from me being shot down immediately. Braun runs through the day's petitioners. Lady Tanda is once again trying to feed Tyrion into marrying Lawless. He declined, and then they joke that Shaga would probably eat Lawless and marry the goose in their banter. They also joke about Broad marrying Lawless, and I'm like, lull, that does happen. It's like he actually took this and I was like, actually, that's a great idea. I could marry her and kill the rest of them. Yeah.

Then we have a bravocy money lender. Uh-oh. Who wants payment? Tyrion sends him to Little Finger because Joffrey can't really barely count past 20, which was sending me. Teria is like at his peak. He's so funny. He kills me. I'm like, you're making terrible decisions all the time, but you're hysterical.

He's just like us. Mad. No, literally. Gone canon. This is why I like him. Yeah, men gone canon for real for real. A river lord says that Tywin's men burned his keep, raped his wife, and killed his peasants. All right.

So it's pretty rude that Tyrion just like flippantly kind of dismisses this. He's like, well, that's war or something like that. And I'm like, it does work well, though, in that the other side of this book that you see through like Aria's perspective shows us what that means and gives much more empathy for that perspective. But in terms of all these different petitions that are being put forth, with the starving, with like, what do you want me to do about the gold cloaks, this guy who gets shoved in the oven, blah, blah, blah. It really does make you think about how Hot D also gave us a clash of Kings, not just a feast for Crows and Dance with Dragons. They also gave us clash. Yeah, it's Kings Landing to a T, like everything, just like we caught in the past couple episodes with the Red Wine Twins, right?

and having someone sneak in and do some mischief, it was very high towery. It's very much so we're seeing some of that hot dee spill forward. And this is like such a, like you said, a dismissive comment, but also kind of funny when he's like, well, what does he want? And he's like, oh, you know, more peasants. He wants us to give him peasants back. Yeah. And Tyrion, of course, suspects Gregor, or one of Taiwan's other war crime employees. also that like there's several so like it could be any of them

since the man is still loyal Tyrion gives him some food some lodging and a new pair of boots courtesy of Joffrey strategic generosity but that's not going to help him with the next crew bakers, butchers and green grocers are demanding protection as food prices are exploding wow does this feel relevant a mob roasted a baker in his own oven for charging too much Tyrion asks if they ate him.

Not yet. Next time they will, he says. And then worse, of course, is that gold cloaks were allegedly in the mob. So again, this is where shit's hitting the fan. We'll get people, you know, more meaty bowl of brown to come, you know, when we start thinking about the economics of food in King's Landing. And of course, I hadn't even read ahead last chapter. I'm like trying to take this book as it is, one chapter at a time and really like digest it. But when we talked about the gold cloaks being like, oh, that's a bad idea to send them as doing your charity and handing out your alms.

But yeah, there you go. The class war has begun. Oh, I was also thinking that they were part of the mob and that they also helped to, like, shove this baker in the oven because they too are starting. But that's what I mean. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, wow. Every man for themselves.

Solidarity-ish, not. Anyways. Yeah, this is like beginning of the end for the lanisters. Like, for real. Right here. Well, the merchants want Joffrey, but Tyrian knows that Joffrey would then answer hunger with whips and spears. Enemies are eventually also coming for King's Landing, and Tyrion just does not need a city that is eager to betray him. Braun points out that everyone wants bread, not promises.

But Tyrion can't feed everyone either, so what do? A night's watch night, though. has arrived carrying a rotting hand in a jar and Tyrion's all like oh oh is it urine he's like no unfortunately it's Sir Alice or Thorne and Tyrion is like well he can just wait in a filthy cell and let the hand rot a little more

oh he's the hand I just realized that interesting okay not a filthy hand rotting in a cell wait wait wait wait that happens again and again and again multiple times to this man. Also.

Well, to him and to the other hands. We... Yeah. Wait. Oh, my God. On to something. You're on to something. We didn't eat the baker, but George ate with that.

I just wanted everyone to hear that. That sigh. You heard that? I hope we all just felt that one. I can't even use words. I can't even fire her at this point. She's so ingrained in this company's operations. Yeah.

Fuck. I do, that is like a real thing, I think. And I do wonder if that's happening to me. Oh, God. So, Tyrion was, like, sad. It wasn't Yoran. It was kind of cute, kind of sweet. And also a good reminder, like, Yorin's dead. Guy just died. Guy just died. It's over. That's sad. Rip. Rip to a real one. I mean, speaking of company things, like, the, I ice coffee discourse is going around right now. Mm. Of like whether or not you can bring it to an interview.

And like... Yes, yes, yes. Oh, but it's ablest, I hear. To not. Honestly, like, I would... I as a hiring manager would not care. If someone brought one in, if you wanted to know my opinion, I'd be like, wow, that person's, like, locked in. They want to be caffeinated for this to give me their best self.

But I understand that that's not how everyone feels. And I like also the other perspective where someone was like, You should not bring an ice coffee. You should chug an original formula for Loco to establish dominance on the hiring manager. Look them right in the eyes. No, I'm obsessed with that. It's so true. I don't know if you saw that one.

I was like, lull. No. Ben there. If you haven't puked up a four loco original recipe outside somewhere in public, are you a real person? Are you old enough to listen to this podcast? Oh my god, that's the new are you old enough? Are you old enough to remember the original four loco?

Did you puke it up in a goth club parking structure? Wait, wait. Okay, we're done with the War of the Five Kings, the War of the Four Locos. My God. It's about to be three if I have my way. Wow. Just kidding. So, Alasor Thorne is a good reminder, though,

of why maybe he should have been like a bit more professional at his own job. and not bullied the interns. Or the iced hand. That too. That too. I mean, though I guess in his defense, again, like, it is kind of hard maybe because his job is like all the time. It's his whole life because he was sent there as part of a penal colony. So that does kind of suck.

But again, he didn't have to be mean to John and like the other interns about it. Like that was super shitty and that's more or less why Tyrion's like I don't want to deal with him. Your professional reputation followed you, Alice or Thorne. There's also another reason, right? Because his family is from the Crownlands and he knows the Crownlands and grew up there. And you can't send John Snow, first of all. And also, you already sent one of your most experienced guys out.

Actually, all your experienced guys are going out and dying. So they sent the next best, honestly. Like, especially also it's for a little humility. Like, okay, well, you were sent here because of your crimes and Kingslanding, pal. You're going to go back and present to them. But also, again, they don't have men left. No, I mean, like, I think it's perfectly, I understand why they chose him. I'm just like, no one wants to do business with him because he's a dick.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Because he brought an iced coffee or a nice hand. I really like the scene of Tyrion. I mean, like, when you put it that way, I'm like, that is what was the jar was, if you think about it. I wonder what that tastes. Like, should we make that for Halloween? Instead of the time that I did a bad job, which we need to iterate. upon the Amen in a cask, like, drink.

No, we need to do something better with that, with a cast. There's a lot of promise in there, and I do think my Sour Patch Kid and Dragon Fruit, like, vodka, which again, was a great compromise from our friend Zach at Game of Oans. I think he's the one who proposed it. But I just feel like there's more we can do. We can really push the envelope. I think my thought is, like, doing that darker berry kind of idea, but then doing, like, a fiery, spicy rum in a cast. and then putting the several sour patch in it and some in the drink.

But we can talk. It has to be a rum. We know that. And like I think you know how there's like those cocktails where you set something on fire and you like waft it over? Yeah, we have to do that. We have to do that. There's more we can do.

We have to. And the other thought I'm having about the hand is that in order to make like a Halloween, you know how you can make like a hemorrhagy brain looking thing? Have you ever seen that? I think so. where it curdles a little, where the liquors curdle, and you get like almost like a hemorrhagy brain thing. Could do something like that with like a little, I don't know, something, something like that. I have thoughts, like in a green murky.

Well, okay. Are we like going all in with like the coffee idea? Like is this an espresso martini-esque drink now? It doesn't have to be, but because we brought it up in that context, are we doing that? going with it. You know, let's workshop it. Let's workshop it. We'll take this one off the table. Put a pin in it. Put a pin in it. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to put it in the fridge. So I really like Tyrion. Oh my God. They should. It's probably stinky as fuck. I really like Tyrion walking through downtown and like seeing the common folks struggles. It's very interesting against the last chapter with Harvest Festival. Right? Where you have Bran bringing his people in.

And you kind of learn in that chapter everything a Lord of the People needs to be as brand starts the chapter very cynical and having a very bad day and then the phrase are there which makes his day even worse. Like he starts from there and then he ends like learning a lesson about knowing his men, knowing his people, doing what's right for his people. Like, you know, being concerned about Lady Hornwood, welcoming his guests, making sure everyone has food and fire to share saying the right things. Like, you know, that a lord of the people needs to be kind in the face of people that are unkind, like the phrase with Hodor, patient, fierce, willing, and able to feed and protect their people. And, like, Tyrion's not many of these things right now because he's in a very

different situation. But as he walks through and views a small folk and his thoughts and his banter with Braun tells me that he is not being those things. Yeah, he's not. It's a great contrast of like how they come away from this. It's also fun that like the Starkland is like, yes, there's like death and grimness and like Ramsey Bolton is eating someone's finger, but like beyond that, it's like, look at our happy fucking harvest festival. Even though there's more, we're welcoming everyone in for fire and hearth and meat and mead. What little we have we will share with you.

And then you have Tyrion and he's like, my incest sister is evil and I wish I could fuck her and kill her at the same time. Yeah. Yeah. That's actually pretty much what's happening. Yeah, plus he's like, I'm making a bunch of more frenemies. Yeah. Heavy on the Nemees part.

Well, Tyrion runs into Circe on her way to inspect the city's defenses. She's still furious about Janoslant and is now panicking over Renly's march from Highgarden, which is supposedly with 100,000 men, big if true. Renly has Stormsend, High Garden, and most of the Tyrell's strength, while the red wines are staying out because, well, as you know, Circe still holds the twins, not those twins, the red wine twins. Tyrion thinks that Renli's slow advance is clever. Friendly can gather support while Rob and Tywin weaken each other

and then just attack whoever survives. Circe demands that Tyrion make Tywin bring his army back to King's Landing. And Tyrion is like, well, that doesn't really do anything but make you feel safer. But also, he's like, when have I ever been able to make dad do anything? And she's like, true, true. And besides, he's sure that Taiwan is busy or something. You know, he's right that, like, Renly's advance is clever. But, you know, I studied at the Race for the Iron Throne Stephen Adel's School of Warfare.

I know. Actually, I've been making a point to make sure I'm reading each of these from his Tyrion. and it does make me feel good. I can hear his voice, which is kind of funny in my head. So it's nice. But he says in his race for the Iron Throne, Tyrion 4, it's risky. You know, like, yeah, it's a very clever trick, but it's a very risky trick. Like, you're relying on so much to go right for you to slowly progress and make your way, almost akin to Tywin, right?

and his slow pace at coming to help and reminds me a little bit not the same one-one, but like the winter wolves, how, you know, that took a while. Like Renly gathering his armies, amassing them so far away, and then starting the slow trudge. Really smart, because once you get there and your enemies are mostly defeated, you just have to do something to work out something with the Starks and then fight Stannis, and then you're good. You're absolutely good. So, yeah, everything Tyrion's doing under the table right now to secure.

here an alliance with Dorn with the veil trying to do something about the Starks and the Riverlands, that is the right move because if Renley does reach King's landing and nothing goes wrong in his march, like his brother casting a spell with this lady's womb and a shadow erupts from it and it kills Renley, like that right there, that might mess things up. But if nothing else goes wrong, like, yeah, Renley reaches Kings Landing and it's game over. They lose.

Yeah. I mean, no one really could have predicted it. It's like a white walker. Oh, this is all just mini whitewalker shit. Like, they're all not looking at the real threat, and the real threat is slowly, glacially moving towards them. The nights of summer, but winter. Yeah.

I mean, no one really could have predicted a shadow baby. That just was not on, it wasn't on anyone's bingo card. It was. And also, like, I should revisit Atwell's essays. But, like, Tyrion's plan with the chain, it makes sense because it's the closest threat in many ways, right? He's prioritizing the naval defense because he knows that, you know, former master of ships, Stanis Barathean might know a thing or two about it. And also, since he's on Dragonstone, it's kind of the way that he's going to make it to King's landing. he's going to use ships.

In the words of, you know, there's this person who's like really, really smart in the fandom. And I remember one time someone asked, how do you think Arias going to make it to Westeros? And she said, what'd she say? On a boat? Or it something. Was it on a ship? I'm sorry if I'm butchering. It was probably on a ship, but I don't know.

I don't remember it. You know who would, the guy that I said it to. What's funny is he brought that up. He said that tonight. We talked about that. tonight. That launched the greatest ship ever. Oh, my God.

You and your roommate. You know, the big thing about Tyrion is like he's working with little to no resources, right? Like, I'm watching him and he's just like working with no resources. Like, he can't delegate anything. He has no resources. So he's putting, it's like when you like create a character in an RPG and you give them skill points and you have a limited amount of skill points to assign. Like he's out of points He can't assign anything more

So like he did put all of his points Into the chain Which is smart because that is the biggest threat But like he's just out of points man He's out of points Yeah he is Circe demands Jamie's release The usual topic

She tells Tyrion he's worth a hundred Tyrion And he's like please don't tell Catalan Stark that Because unfortunately you don't have a hundred of me to trade And she's like you're useless And she leaves actually yeah like can I just say something for a second yeah he is useless to her he's like been nothing but a blocker like his entire role is how can I block you at every moment which is so interesting to watch because like they could have been working together like again white walker style like what

the armies are advancing what are you doing but from day one he is doing something ned should have done which is he's having her tailed he is finding out what she's up to if any of the last three Hayans had tailed her or showed any competence, they would have figured this thing out. Like, bingo, bango. That's why they killed John Aaron. I mean, Liza. Yeah. Yeah. I guess Ned never thought to have someone tail anyone, right? Yeah, he didn't think that she was capable or competent. That's true. Everyone did really underestimate Circe. What of my storm? Yeah. Lord Stark. Get him. Get him Ceres. Teryan's actually like way more worried about Stannis and all of this.

Renly has numbers but little more experience and as Eliana mentioned, Stannis is hard, cold, and proven. Tyrion's spies toward Dragonstone have vanished, Varys's sources have gone silent and foreign ships and cell sails are gathering around Stannis. If Stannis attacks by sea while Renly attacks the gates, they're screwed. It is kind of fun knowing that part of why the spies have probably all gone. silent from Dragonstone is because Melisandra is able to like identify all of them and I don't know there's kind of like a fun thing here going on like that in a way that means dragonstone is

obscured it's in shadow to everyone else because of the power of the Lord of Light. Oh I love that. I'm obsessed with that. Yeah that's what I was thinking it must be Melisandra we don't really see see it but like she must be capturing spies and shit or like being at least able to identify. Yeah. Oh absolutely. I know what she's up to, everything. That girl is busy. So Tyrion starts thinking about getting Shea out of the city if necessary, which I'm like, shoulda coulda-woulda. Interesting.

That's over. You had your opportunity, dummy. Move your situation ship out of the city. No, literally should have. Like that's... Yeah. But again, Pride Goeth before the... Fall of Numeron.

Back at his solo. Podrick announces that Littlefinger is inside while staring at Tyrion's belt buckle and Tyrion's like, my eyes are up here and Pot then gives... Oh, literally he is. Yeah. I think mostly...

Oh, poor Pod. He's just a shy boy. And he gives Little Finger so many titles while trying to figure it out that Tyrion says, you make him sound like he's a crowd. And I'm like, maybe. Little Finger is watching

Joffrey shoot. hairs with a crossbow, and Joffrey keeps missing, wounds rabbits, and then also nearly shoots Sir Preston in the groin. This would be an incredible scene to show, like, because little figure that is like, ah, you best get some cooking pots, because soon they'll be eating hair three times a day. It's so fucking funny. This would have been an incredible scene to show. I can understand why not, but, like, Joffrey just, like, massacring bunnies.

Whether or not I defend Joffrey, like, this is so fucked up. And they're just like, yeah, yeah, let the kid play. Yeah. I mean, they're like, well, at least he's killing bunnies and not people. I think it's kind of like the logic. Which is kind of crazy when you think about it. There's all this line here where Littlefinger is kind of like, I'm not going to have a drink with you.

And he says this line of what they're saying in Kings Landing, which is, drink with the dwarf, it said, and you wake up walking the wall. And I'm like, okay, well, Tyrion's really making a reputation for himself as a villain in Kingslanding. No wonder everyone's like preying on his downfall. but it also shows that the news about Janus Slint is definitely making its way around. Damn.

Yeah. And I mean, it is kind of like a, it's an interesting like flirtation, this entire thing of how it's put, right? It is. It's like a seduction. It's like just like with Veris, how we had the Veris seduction, but a little different. Like this is very hardcore seduction where little fingers like, aha, we both know things about each other that would be our undoing now. Don't go saying those things. Yeah.

It's all a game that we play. A very fragile game. The ice may just crack if one of us steps across it. It's very, very fun. Once Padrick leaves, Little Fingers' Balearion Steel Dagger is noticed by Tyrion. Hmm. Little Finger sees him staring, casually offers it to him, and Tyrion refuses. He's like, mine.

Tierian gave him a long look. No, I think not. Never mind. He knows the insolent wretch. He knows, and he knows that I know. And he thinks that I cannot touch him. well, you kind of can't. Yeah.

Littlefinger also, like, in regards to not being touchable, I guess, untouchable, that is the word we're looking for. Tyrion describes Littlefinger as, like, armored in gold. And I do think that's interesting. Like, we've definitely discussed it before, back whenever we talked about Brand's dream. But it is a candidate. It is a candidate that people put forth. And I find it interesting.

Yeah. As opposed to it being Jamie. Yeah. It's absolutely just Jamie, but... Probably. I like it. I like it, all that said. Little Finger also, turns out he is...

We get a little backstory about him of how he rose from a minor customs post to Master of Coin by making the Crown's money multiply, especially in a time that Robert Barathean was very concerned with emptying that money out. Well, Anyways, more importantly, Littlefinger packed the financial machinery of the realm with his own people. Mints, customs, tolls, keys, scales, harbors, taxes, factors. Nine out of ten, they're his men.

And I'm like, wow, head of growth, Littlefinger, really tripling everything in this startup. New founder, Robert Barathean. Here's a line that kind of stood out to me about Little Fingers methodologies of He bought wool from the north and linen from the south and lace from lease stored it, moved it, dyed it, sold it. And two things. A, this is Jane Poole, right? The wool from the north that he garbs in southern like wears.

And the idea of like, like, the lace from Lease, like how he forces her into the trade that Lees is famous for. And by that, I mean, he's sex trafficking her, human trafficking her. And he stores her, moves her, right, as, again, in this human trafficking, and then sells her back to the north. But also, in a way, it is Sansa, right, from the north as well, stored by being whisked away into the veil, died, right? Because they say, like, of the wool that he dyed it.

so he dyes her hair and she's sold kind of to the veil but I think more's gonna happen Yeah absolutely That's a great call We go on to really see Why everyone has underestimated him

Right They underestimated him Because he had no great house Army or lands Tyrion now wonders Whether Littlefinger may be a traitor He can't afford to remove During a war

Also not to mention Like he's about to marry The wife of the Lord That gave him this initial job Like the reason he wrote up was that John Aaron gave him a gig for this small role. And now he's going to cuck John Aaron even more. From the grave, John Aaron is still being cucked.

Finally mastering that, cuck the hand that feeds you. Good job, Littlefinger. You really also start to see Tyrion's tactics bleed through to us with all these players and playing to their desires, right? Like up next, he offers Littlefinger everything Littlefinger wants to make a big power. move. He gives them all a little bit of honey, as we will quote as we get down there, because it was like he's eating honey. But he gives them all a little honey. And with the falsehood that's kind of slapped on in there, that makes it so he doesn't really need an actual

cover for what he's doing. I kind of like the way he's moving here. Very, uh, very clever, Tierra, and you've learned a few things. But something really interesting is that well-matched behavior, right? Like the dagger's the kill switch. It's double indemnity. They both know the other's secret. But when Tyrion says he means to give lies of the true killer of her husband, Little Finger is really funny, right? Like he sits up very straight. He's like, oh, who could that be? Instead of a man like Janos slint by, for chance, who was just like completely accused of murdering, or not murdering, but accused of like forsaking his role and getting told, well, you're now going to the night's watch on a technicality by the technicality by the technicality is that I'm royal, by the way. So, like, Littlefinger's not shitting himself. He's just, like, chilling. He's like, who could that have been? Who could have killed John Aaron? Maybe it was me.

And later, he got this line, like I said, the line about honey, it's so perfect. Littlefinger took a moment to adjust the drape of his cape, but Tyrion had seen the flash of hunger in those sly cat's eyes. I have him, he knew. Little finger looked like a boy who had just taken a furtive bite from a honeycomb. he was trying to watch for bees, but the honey was so sweet. I also love that line because it feels, I mean, he wants it, right? And that he lets the mask slip for a second with that hunger because it makes me think of actually Tyrion at the beginning of a storm of swords when Tywin floats like, well, you could have Winterfell if you married Sanda.

And he also mentions feeling like this hunger and this like chill, right? because of that want. And some people interpret that like chill of like, oh, he doesn't, no. That chill was him being like, oh, wait, no. A chill of excitement of like, I want that. I want that power. A woman, a high-born, beautiful lady who has to love me. Well, that, that and I think like.

And her home, her beautiful home to call my home. Yeah. That he gets to be a Lord Paramount. He gets to be like on par with daddy. Daddy. Daddy cares. Daddy. Daddy.

Daddy. You're muscle men, daddy Oh my god You guys, I finished vice principals recently What a ride Yo, what a show It was so good Yo, the burning of the house

I don't know that I've ever screamed so much during an episode Crazy Shout out, shout out vice principals What a good show It's a, you know, there's some 20 But like what are your 20 top shows of the century or whatever meme going around. Oh yeah, I've heard about people trying to do that.

Yes, my roommate did that. He did the meme and he chose vice principles over righteous gemstones, which I wasn't sure if I agreed, but it's up there. It's very much up there. I don't know. Yeah, if I don't know. I don't think I could like pit them against each other, but I don't even know.

Would they even be in my top 20? I think I have a lot of anime that kind of just shoves things out, unfortunately. Interesting. Okay. Interesting. Gotcha. We know what's on your list. Well, I think you guys kind of all know, like, some of my top five, right? Yeah.

Veep. You all know my top is Veep. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, which I think I started getting a friend into recently. Nicely done. That's on poor Quentin's list as well. Yeah. It is a masterpiece. What's yours? Like, and all... Oh, they're all my children. I can't do that. Every single show is her child.

Yeah. Every single one. Okay. Well, something else that I think is fun about this exchange is that Tyrion cannot touch Littlefinger because on one hand, Littlefinger is the rich man, right, in the riddle that varies poses. Same as how Tyrion is, but they come about it in such different ways, of course. Because I think arguably, like, Littlefinger is also untouchable because, I mean, obviously, Tyrion knows that Littlefinger holds power in some way, right? It's not just men believe where they believe it.

Like, Littlefinger does not have all these other trappings of power. He doesn't have anything that necessarily means that he himself is wealthy. He doesn't have the armies and the holdings to buy things. He is also arguably the swordsman. He has made his own power somehow. He created his own wealth. He's new money, but he's still money. And he did it by offering, I mean, not even from his own wealth.

He offered other people The opportunity So they owe him They owe him for putting them In those positions Like we obviously Do not like Elon Musk

But he is somebody who Wow It's like fucking rumpled stilt skin Right Like he's sewing fucking hay Into gold And selling it back to everyone Like that's a thing

Little Finger Elon Musk These kind of like shady assholes They create ideas And sell them in the idea space and somehow they get people to believe it and to get taken advantage of and say, you're right, I'll do it. And then they created into a business. Yeah. On the thought market. More like the thought market. Yeah, I know. I was like... Is she going to say it? She said it. I was... I was thinking that. Sometimes if I be writing something, I'm thought daughter. You ever

consider that? Oh, we could rename the podcast. Thought daughter? Thought daughters. Now that's after Mendon Cannon. Yeah, we need a new name. You're right, it's been too long with the same name. It would make it so fun for us. Well, Tyrion then asks about Littlefinger's relationship with the Tullies. And Littlefinger claims he took both Catlin and Liza's maidenheads. And Tyrion's like, well, that's a lie.

But Littlefinger lies so easily, and he, with such conviction that Tyrion, like, kind of briefly questions everything. And we get this line of nothing is simple and little is true. And I'm like, I mean, he delivers it with such conviction because, like, turns out Littlefinger does in his heart of hearts actually believe that happened. Yeah, you're not fucking wrong. He does believe it. He thinks he did that. I mean, that's also, that's what, like, there's a lot of fan reception to a Game of Thrones. Could you imagine? About a Game of Thrones. And that fan reception specifically in this instance that I often see is like, how could he believe Littlefinger? And it's very easy to say that. But like, clearly you can see. see why. A, if you do know, then you're probably in and you can't get out by that point. B, he's not that obvious to everybody else, right? Like, he's pretty fucking smooth. Yeah, I think, like, this passage where this exchange with Tyrion actually tells us exactly why people

in Kingslanding believe Littlefinger. It's just, like, as we said, like, I think, like, there is a gap in terms of how that's conveyed to the reader. But, like, Tyrion tells us, exactly why he trusts. He's like, I don't know, he's just such an affable guy. We all trust him. We all like him. I'm like, but I guess it's hard because in the same hand, Tyrion is the POV that's very suspicious. We needed another like maybe POV besides Ned that like is really does trust him for it to work maybe. I don't know. That makes sense. It makes sense. Like real little finger hours. Yeah, like someone who like really is bought in. And I mean, we know that's Catlin kind of, but at the same time, like...

Sonsa now, really? Yeah, Sonsa even... Yeah. But early on. Her and Tewauer, Adas, would be great later, at least, to reveal, like, he's actually the way he is. Like, we're already seeing it in her feast chapters, but it'll be great to actually see some transparency and show who he was the whole time, like, this, this veneer right

here, but cracking. Yeah. It's just hard because, again, like, we only see him through a bunch of, like, people. Like, Ned's also, like, I don't know. This guy's like a weirdo and gross. What a weird weird nerd. Like, not wrong, but. And Tyrion's suspicious of everyone.

Needed someone like a little more trusting, I guess. But not a child. Yeah. Yeah. Little Finger assumes it's Sonsa for Jamie and he dismisses it. And Tyrion says, oh no. I mean to recover Aria too. Although Littlefinger says, well, searching is not finding. Oh, wonder if this helped plant the fake Jane ideas. Um, yeah. But the real target. is Liza. Tyrion thinks he can win her by offering John Aaron's true killer. That gets Littlefinger's attention, and Tyrion says, well, I want Liza's friendship

in the veil's military strength. Yeah, as you said earlier, Littlefingers like, oh, his true killer, huh? How do you know? And I think ironically, yeah, Tyrion does give Liza, as you said, John Earn's true killer. But Liza also knows that is who he is and played a part in it. And yeah, you're so right. She is very happy about being delivered John Aaron's true killer. Loudly happy.

Until, you know, she's not. Until she's not. Because she's dead. Why? Because she's dead. Oh, my God. Look what you made him do. Look on you.

Oh, my gosh. It really is men gone canon if we're excusing. Look what you made him do. out of control. We really got to cut it out. Little Finger points out the veil's also being braided right now by unusually well-armed

mountain men. Do you know anything about them? Tyrion? Tyrion, who armed them? Wow, terrible. Who could have done this? We're all trying to find the guy that did this. Of course, because Tyrion,

like Littlefinger, knows how to sell ideas to the thought market for sale. He suggests one word from him could end that problem. Oh, interesting. Ah, the mob, the mafia. Uh, the mob. Um.

Oh, the mob. I love how, now that you say it like that, this entire exchange is just two bitches going, wow, who did that? Oh my God. Who did that? It's a big reveal party, yeah. Who did that?

Tyrion's bargain, though. Liza and Robert recognize Joffrey is king. The veil will be used against Renley or Stanis, not the Starks or the Tully. In return, Liza gets justice for John Aaron. Beet. Peace from the clans. Robert restored as Warden of the East and Marcella as Liza's Ward and

Robert's Future Bride. Maybe that also planted an idea in Little Fingers Head along with the Aria Stark one. He's like, wait, you're so right, we can wed people to Robert, huh? Robert Aaron. Anyways, this part does surprise Littlefinger. He asks, what does Sircy think? WWCD? What would Sircy do?

And Tyrion shrugs. Little Finger laughs because obviously, Sircy doesn't know anything about what's going on here. And he's like, I can probably convince Liza, if he cared to, if I fucked her, which he more or less does say.

And Tyrion's like, sure, I guess. And Littlefinger's all like, but what does Peter get? And Tyrion's like, Heron Hall. And again, for a man from almost nothing, that would mean massive lands, wealth, status, and a castle far grander than River Run. Little Finger pretends to worry about the curse,

but he's like, wow, I cannot wait for Gatsby's green light to happen to me. Tyrion's like, fine, tear it down and rebuild it if you're so worried about the curse. And then he's like, besides, I could make you liege lord of the trident. Even the tollies will answer to you, you know, if there are any left, surviving. Littlefinger tries to hide it, but Tyrion's like, oh, he's wet. He wants this so bad.

Little finger points out that Janos Slint had Harrenhall very recently, and Tyrion took it away when he wasn't useful. And Tyrion's like, yeah, exactly. So think about that for just a moment, Little Finger. Of course, Tyrion needs Little Finger. He didn't need Janos, he says. Peter agrees to go to Liza and asks for two weeks to do so. He leaves very pleased. That's number two.

Well, here comes number three with Vary's arriving not long afterward, teasing Tyrion for tormenting Paisal with a secret. Flirting, it's so cute. Tyrion points out that this is rich coming from Varies and asks what he thinks that Tyrion offered Doran Martel. Naturally, Vary starts figuring it out immediately. There's this line where Vary says, The only puzzle is what you might have offered for his allegiance.

The prince is a sentimental man, and he still mourns his sister Elia and her sweet babe. Singular. Just putting this out here. Uno. That is interesting. Sweet babe. What does it mean?

But yes, Vera says that, I'm like, Agin? Agan? Agan? Agin? Dorn has stayed out of the war, so far. Doren called his banners, but has joined no one. Though his hatred of the Lannisters makes Renley the obvious possibility, and Tyrion wants to prevent that. Tyrion says he's offered a vacant council seat, gold and land, and most importantly, Elia Martel's killers alive or dead after the war.

Various brings up Gregor Kligain, who's still at large these days I heard earlier in this episode. His responsibility is basically an open secret. Gregor might be Tywin's man, but Tyrion knows his father would trade one rabid dog for 50,000 Dornishmen. Varus asks, well, what happens

if Doren also wants whoever gave the order? Tyrion dodges by blaming Robert's rebellion in general, and Various is like, well, Robert wasn't in King's Landing, and Tyrion adds, neither was Doren, so let's move on. Yeah.

Barry says that Doran will still need a guarantee against betrayal. So he figures it out. It's actually Taman. And Tyrion is annoyed because Vary's cheats at guessing games. Vary's then notes that Tommin is sweet and notably tractable. Trian thinks getting him away from Ceres and Joffrey might let him grow into a good man. Well, I have a solution for how he can get him away from Joffrey. And Vary says, maybe even a good king.

but Tyrion reminds him Wait, Joffrey is king And Ferries is like Hmmhmmhmm interesting Because also Taman is the heir Suspicious Little Spider And if Joffrey had a great fall

And all the king's horses and all the king's men Couldn't put Joffrey back together again I mean pretty much And so Varis likes the plan right Except for he has the same objection As everyone else he goes okay But what about Circe?

She might send one shot child for the realm. And then he reveals, but both Tom and Mersela showing us the reader, oh, this is also another plan. Tyrion is also giving another line to varies, both children. Absolutely not. Tyrion responds, well, what Circe doesn't know can't hurt me. Real, that's so true. And the actual game, as we know, is that Tyrion has secretly offered different royal children and different royal alliances. Paisal knows one version of it. Little Finger knows another one, and Varies now understands what Tyrion's doing. If Circe learns any of it too early,

Tyrion will know who leaked it to her. Verus giggles. Three, that makes the third person that Tyrion has gotten. Dun, dun, dun. That's right, Tyrion does learn, albeit slowly, he got Verris on this one. Yeah, I do love. I do love, I guess, that my assumption is

that this inspired Kanye West when he and Kim had their child and we're trying to figure out like who would leak it and betray it. I'm not joking. Like I legitimately think he watched this or for all I know he read it. I don't know. And got inspiration from it. Um, so that's the real world parallel. But also I think that Tyrion, I don't know. I, this, there's nothing in there that's saying this, but being like, I'm going to lie and, like, misdirect people, but I'm just like, that was so Catlin Stark of you. Remember when you were really mad that Catlin Stark pulled one over on you, all of you thought she couldn't do it, but she was the best. RIP, but she's not resting right now. She's killing people. I do think, like, I do think that he, I mean, to your point,

I do think he is learning from Catalan on this one. Say it often, loudly for everyone to hear. Right? Mm-hmm. What you're doing. He told them what he was doing, and it's not what he's doing, just like she did with him. Wait, I just realized also, now that we're talking about Catlin and Tyrion, he told Catlin when they were together, he's like, you know, Littlefinger's telling everyone that he claimed your maiden head. And Littlefinger does it again here, and I'm like, man, that's like so cringe. Not to, you know, be, that's so cringe that he just brings it up all the time for no fucking reason.

Yeah, also because no one will check him on it, right? So how horrible? Like, Catalan's just living up there in the far north. They don't have Twitter. And she has no clue that someone's debasing her like this. And so they all just think she's like this harlot, just banging, banging guys is how the way he's putting it. She's loose. I fucked her when I was 15.

Partially no one corrects Littlefinger because they're all like, okay, yeah, sure. I wonder if they all talk about it. Like, yeah, he's really good. great practices for the bank and all and like, you know, a great procurement person, but like, I don't know, kind of weird about the thing with the Tolly sisters, huh? Yeah, they're like, that's so embarrassing. Why does he keep saying that? They're like, no one believes him.

Do you think it's real? It is cringe. It is cringe. It's like pretending you have a boyfriend when you're 13. Except he's done it forever since 13. He's been saying it to everyone. It's so weird. Forever.

At this point, it's like maybe it's back like what you were saying where Tyrion almost believed his lies. Like, maybe he believes his lies at this point. I think he like, I mean, he legitimately does maybe for the reasons that like people we've discussed before where like I think when Liza assaulted him, like he thinks it was Catlin. But also, if he's saying it to this many people all the time, like it must have reached John Aaron.

Like he was the hand. There's no way he never heard that gossip. Like, what do you think about this guy telling everyone that he fucked your wife back then? Like, isn't that weird? Also, like, your ex-boss. Yeah, but I think it was also even when he was his boss that, like, he must have heard it. Isn't that weird? But maybe he just, like, felt so bad for him.

The hand that feeds you. But also he knew. It's my new favorite song. Right? Maybe. Yeah. He couldn't. Maybe not.

This guy's saying. I mean, he was busy with the Circe incest with Jamie. I think he must have heard like Littlefinger saying weird shit maybe but also at the same time the whole point, right, is he married Liza because she was proven to be able to become pregnant

and that was the whole arrangement with Hoster. Like they knew that. So did he know it was Littlefinger? They're having a cuck off. Oh my God. You're invited to it's a

everyone's starving. That's why they're having a cuckoff to feed them. Oh my God, let him cuck. Oh, my God! That is actually what he's asking. Oh. Well, I learned a lot about Littlefinger today. Me too.

Which is that boys can be delusional too. That's, I mean, even more so, honestly, as a song of ice and fire has taught me. If you enjoyed the cuck off, you're invited to the next one. Oh, my God. We'll be back with Tyrion 5, where we surely will not face any consequences for Tyrion 4 in a clash of kings. I can't wait to go through it with you next week. Aliana, where can they find us online? Well, you can find us online on social media at Twitter or Blue Sky at Girls Gone Cannon.

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and I have been another one of your host Eliana see you next week goodbye