Girls Gone Canon Cast - ASOIAF Episode 31 - ASOS Sansa Stark IV/V

Episode Date: December 14, 2018

"Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bonel, Silence the pianos and with muffled drum Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come. Let the aeroplanes circle, moaning overhead Scribbling on the sky the message 'He is Dead'. Put crepe bows 'round the white necks of the public doves, Let traffic policemen wear black, cotton gloves." Intro by Anton Langhage Eliana's twitter: https://twitter.com/arhythmetric Eliana's reddit account: https://www.reddit.com/user/glass_table_girl Eliana's blog: https://themanyfacedblog.wordpress.com/  Chloe's twitter: https://twitter.com/liesandarbor

Hello and welcome to episode 31 of Girls Gone Canon, Sansa 4-5, A Storm of Swords. I am one of your hosts, Chloe. You can find me on the internet as at Liza Narber. And I'm another one of your hosts, Eliana. And you can find me as GlassTableGirl on the Mason Monthly Podcast, Song of Ice and Fire subreddit, and maybe at Eurydmetric on Twitter. Maybe. You guys, we are in the thick of a storm of swords. We are in the eye of the storm.

I can't believe I do a podcast with you. Believe it. The gods are just... The gods heard our wishes, Chloe. The gods are never good. I'm really excited about this episode. I want you guys to stay excited about this episode,

but I also want to build a little hype for next episode. Oh, right. Is there something to get hype about Chloe? The hypest, Eliana, the hypest next week we are going to have, we are just like so excited and so blessed to have the wonderful,

the excellent lady, Gwyn, lady guinevar of uh radio westeros hashtag blessed as she's known on the internet yes hashtag west no i she's gonna come on next week for one of my favorite chapters in the entire series uh sansa six and sansa seven of course in a storm of swords one of the most beautiful chapters oh absolutely in the a radio west rose has many strong points you know they're just like the renaissance yes the best they are you know peak they are the pinnacle in many ways we all want to be them yeah that's true but we all never will we have to follow our own ninja way like naruto and so we are who we are and that's what radio westeros taught us yeah it taught us to follow our own ninja

way and so we're who we are and they're going to come and bless us with some of their glory their chakra their wisdom and yeah lady gwyn is going gonna bestow upon us some gifts. And you know who knows about gifts? We're gonna talk about this chapter. Joffrey. Joffrey knows about gifts. That was an Eliana-level segue. Did you like that? You're like,

disconnect, I guess. We got an awesome email from one of our really good friends, the Prince of Sunsphere. He sent over an email talking about Margaret Beaufort, who was a prominent figure in the War of the Roses. If you've watched the Starz series White Queen or White Princess, you'll know the character. And White Princess, she's actually played by Michelle Fairley, Catalan's actress from Game of Thrones. This is the part of history, of course, that George kind of gives props towards for inspiring A Song of Ice and Fire.

Margaret was born the heir of John Beaufort. John went off to fight in a big war when he came out. When he came back, he had a falling out with the king, Henry VI. Henry was married to Margaret de Anjjou who's a total cersei person by the way we talked about this oh god it's been a while but we talked about this i think didn't we she's the one with the swan right i just think of swans when i think of her henry was married to margaret de anjou which of course major cersei vibes. We talked about her during Eddard. She was influential in the Lannister Guild, and Eddard slash Jon was declared a traitor and dies soon.

Margaret's wardship goes back to the crown, though her mom's alive. The Beaufort lands are granted to someone else, William de la Pole, and Margaret gets married to William de la Pole's son, so tie one to Tyrion kind of thing. Margaret was only between one and three years old at the time though so prince of sunsphere notes ermisande hayford right

like kind of a cool thing there uh this marriage required papal dispensation not because she was an infant but because they were too closely related times are fucked up yeah really fucked up so for certain reasons he has the marriage dissolved and the wardship of margaret passes to his half-brothers edmund and jasper tudor margaret gets wed to edmund who is also a relative so papal dispensation once more happens at the age of 12 she gives birth to henry the seventh the future king of england at the age of 13, which Princess Sunsphere notes, of course, in the original outline, Sansa was supposed to have a child by Joffrey. It's a very difficult birth.

She never has any other children, and Edmund is taken captive by Stark-slash-York-slash-Yorkist forces and dies of the plague in prison. Margaret remarries. That husband dies fighting forces, and she marries her fourth husband to gain support to seat her son, Henry, on the throne. Stanley is the husband. If this was successful, Henry becomes king. He gets married to Elizabeth of York to unite the houses of York

and Lancaster, similar to Aegon III marrying Jaehaerys after the Dance of the Dragons. And curiously, Margaret then takes a vow of celibacy while she's married to this guy, Stanley. So that's a lot of the stuff that he highlights, John of Knoxville, pertaining to Sansa. The rest, of course, is history. Margaret's grandson is Henry VIII. His sister, Margaret, becomes Margaret, Queen of Scots.

Grandmother to Mary, Queen of Scots. The rival of Henry VIII's daughter, Queen Elizabeth, and history repeats itself once more. A lot of people always tend to lean towards Elizabeth of York when they talk about Sansa, which, of course, Littlefinger and Tyrion have that kind of resemblance to creepy Richard, but a lot of people also

like to compare her to the Virgin Queen, Elizabeth I. We're going to mention a lot of these notes from the original script, I'm sure, as we make our way through, but really great catch and really great nod from John of Knoxville, the Prince of Sunsphere. I thought that this was really great. I don't really have much more to add about this because it was very informative. I do think, you know, as you pointed out, how people tend to liken Sansa's storyline to Elizabeth of York. I think that it seems like George is drawing on many things. You know, it's not just one. If you're seeing any parallels between

Sansa and Elizabeth I and Sansa and Margaret Beaufort, that's creativity. Creativity is taking from many different places and making it its own thing. He a magpie as uh mighty isabel likes to say definitely i love that and i do think there's a great mix of these uh these leaders with these stories of these like men who have done wrong to them or women with their birthrights taken away i think there's a lot to draw on with sanza especially as we explore these fairy tale qualities about sanza the things that george kind of portrays with the princess character. That's our POV. That's a princess, you know?

Yeah, we have a lot of princesses and the queens. And a lot of POVs, let me tell you. Because in our lightning round, what we have missed, between Sansa 3 and Sansa four, I'm so pissed. There are so many chapters, you guys. So there are a lot of chapters,

not just a lot of chapters, a lot of things, important things happen between these chapters. Yeah. You could call it a storm of chapters. Really? What? Arya five. Harwin tells

Arya about the Battle of the Bells at the Stony Sept, and she watches Ongai deliver justice to some North men. Later, she sees the Hound once more. Jon 4. Jon and his new crew climb the wall, but Ikrit feels the mission is incomplete without the Horn of

Joramun. In Tyrion 4, Simon Silvertongue blackmails Tyrion, and Tyrion has him made into a stew. Tywin shows Tyrion Joffrey's wedding gifts, and tells him he needs to start creating some other gifts. Like gifts of life, homie! Arya 6. Justice is served, but not how you'd think. Sandor has a trial by combat, but especially by fire. Catalin 4. Hoster Tully's funeral takes place. News of Winterfell's demise reaches Robb and Cat. Tyrion 5. Tyrion meets the Dornish retinue at the gates, but is surprised to meet Oberyn Martell, and not his gentler older brother, Duran Duran.

Duran Duran. Arya's seven. The Brotherhood attack a sceptre containing the Bloody Mummers. Bran three. Bran and company stay at the Queen's Crown, and Bran calms Hodor by slipping into his skin in a thunderstorm of swords. Jon five. Jon's loyalties call him home to the wall. Summer the direwolf slaughters wildlings, and John uses this chance to get out to escape with Ygritte throwing arrows at him

the entire way. Arya 8. The ghost of Highheart arrives to put everyone on edge. Arya meets the lord of Starfall, Edric Dayne. Arya tries to escape the Brotherhood for home, but is captured by Sandor Clegane in the woods. Catelyn 5. Robb writes his will. Arya 9. Sandor and Arya make their way toward the twins, where he can sell her to her family. Jon 6. Jon learns of Winterfell's burning. Catlin 6. Rob's host approaches the twins. Arya 10. Arya and Sandor arrive at the twins, but something feels off. Arya doesn't know any of the men that she sees. Catlin 7. Not my hair. Ned loves my hair.

Why would you say that? Why would you? You said say anything, so i just was like let's just rip everyone's heart out why not i mean i guess but you hurt me you wound me eliana i'm wounded even aria 11 aria watches her family and their men get slaughtered until the hound knocks her out because she's trying to go into the fray. Hey. Got it? The fray. Tyrion VI, Tyrion's marriage gets even better when he finds out that his family just killed his wife's family. And we're going to a wedding.

God, everything's great. Jon VII. wedding god everything's great uh john seven the battle rages at castle black but john finds egret dead with an arrow through her at the end which like i think we should take a musical break for me you anywhere i would have followed you say, I'm giving up on you. Ugh. You all can't see it, but I'm headbanging to this song, I guess. Yeah, me too. I'm just like cradling, I'm air cradling Ygritte as she dies.

Are you? I am. I mean, like, I know that we had- This fucked me up, dude. Yeah, the red wedding, we had like a few chatters before, and yes, that fucked me up, but this is a death that really hurt me. John 7 fucked me up. I was like, what? You know nothing.

I was in a long-distance relationship. It worked out, everyone. We're still together, but I was just like, love, it's so hard. And she just, we never should have left that cave. Oh my god, is this a, is this a real castle now? Man.

Bran IV. Bran meets Sam, Coldhands, and Gilly. And they help Team Bran across the Black Gate. We got that going for us. Back to Doom and Misery. Tyrion VII. Tyrion realizes the only way to keep Shae safe is to send her away. And that brings us to Sansa, 4. Sansa goes on to live her next nightmare as a live-in part of Joffrey's court and as a Lannister.

Lannister. Sansa awakens from a dream about her wolf and her family safe and together. She threw back the coverlets. I must be brave. Her torments would soon be ended, one way or the other. If Lady was here, I would not be afraid. Lady was dead, though. Robb, Bran, Rickon, Arya, though rob bran rickon aria her father her mother even septimordane all of them are dead but me she was alone in the world now i know right dude it's really sad this poor sad daughter just pat her head just she's not alone the pack may still yet live. Yeah, the pack survives, babe. Thought was striking about how, um, she keeps thinking about, I should not be afraid and I have to be brave. Despite the fact that she clearly is afraid. It's a great continuation from, like, the last chapter. Where one of the Kettleblacks, you know, we had a whole discussion about which Kettleblack it was.

Um, and how that was very nice of him. But I forgot which one. know i know but um yeah they are all described they're literally brothers they all literally look the same and they gave them all like the same name but who does that all right like what's your name benjamin cole chadwin that would have actually made it easier for me if they had all had names like that okay as well as well as for you oh's gray as gray it's too much use gray who's gray use gray anyways all i i think it's asfred i get all that i think i know it's the eldest one i think and i don't know which one that is i just know it's the eldest i think And he tells Sansa that she has to be brave.

He says, I've heard that wolves are brave, like the Starks. And for her to still be afraid, and later on we see that she's trembling, she's exhibiting that same sort of bravery that Ned talked about at the beginning of A Game of Thrones. Like, the only time that someone can truly be brave is when they're afraid. Sansa finds out her husband,rian is not in bed um and she's used to that she's used to waking up alone because tyrian likes to go read in the solar or maybe he'll eat in the kitchens or climb to the roof garden that's so cute they have a roof garden i want a roof garden i know right it's like what is this a co-op And then he goes to walk along the traitor's walk. Kind of a little foreshadowing-y, irony-y, like, Tyrion likes to walk along the traitor's walk.

Well, well. Walk on the wild side. Sansa then watches the clouds in the morning sky and she's like, oh, they kind of look like two castles. I think it's really interesting, this focus on the sky that we get in some of Sansa's chapters. then watches the clouds and the morning sky and she's like, oh, they kind of look like two castles. I think it's really interesting this focus on the sky that we get in some of Sansa's chapters. We see her pay attention to the shifting of the clouds when the sun catches Ser Hugh's armor right before he dies in A Game of Thrones. In the beginning of Clash, she watches the clouds scuttle around the comet in the sky at the tourney and later in clash we get the black water sky the clouds of emerald i also it's interesting because she's in captivity

and this is so obvious she's watching the sky that's her fun activity right like that's her tv that's like her going this is pretty nice this is This is fun for me. This is this sucks. Like she's straight up just like this is this is my life. I also think it's an interesting way to look into her world because a lot of times it's her only way of knowing what's going on. Right. The weather or her during the blackwater looking out of her window, knowing what side is winning or not. Once she's back to her bedchamber, she's just looking out the window, and that's all she has.

But along with what you're saying regarding her looking at the sky, and that captivity, that's what people think birds do, right? And she's a little bird in her cage, just yearning to fly free. She sure is. That was very beautiful, Eliana. Good job. We did it. When Sansa's servants arrive, she also, she's like, hey guys, look at these clouds.

Please look at the clouds with me. And then Tyrion confirms for Sansa that, oh yeah, all those servants that you thought were Cersei's spies, they are Cersei's spies, and so we're gonna replace them with new servants, including ones that Cersei's spies, they are Cersei's spies, and so we're gonna replace them with new servants, including ones that are named Shae, who is

constantly giving Sansa the side-eye, but she does her job. And there's a lot to unpack in this, that Shae becomes her servant, and that Shae is constantly giving Sansa insolent looks. I mean, obviously she would have a dislike of Tyrion's child bride, right?

And of course, with this cloud imagery, is it just me, or there's some definite Les Mis castle on a cloud imagery, right, going on here? Considering her time that she's about to spend in the Eyrie, a literal

castle on a cloud, there's, if you're not a big musical person, I get it, whatever, not for everybody, but Les Mis is a cultural phenomenon. Everybody has heard of Les Mis. It is. Come on. And there's this song that little Cosette, who's an orphan, sings. There is a castle on a cloud.

I like to go there when I sleep. Nobody talks or shouts too loud, not in my castle on a cloud. And this is, you know, while the orphan kid is sweeping and, you know, whatever. She's very poor and very sad and somebody feed her. But there's just a lot of that here, this whole princess and a castle on a cloud. And I mean, you see it even in old fantasy and original fantasy, right? You see it in the princess in the tower, Rapunzel, etc. Of course, Shay is annoyed with Sansa the Tower, Rapunzel, etc. Of course, Shae is annoyed

with Sansa because Sansa's like 12, 13, and she's like, Oh, my ladies, come look at the cloud. Like, I want to point out, though, that I'm 26 and I too would be like, Oh, come look at the cloud. Clouds are cool. Yeah, sometimes they're really

puffy and pretty. I drive across a lot of bridges for work. So when I come home, I'm like always staring at how pretty the sky is. That's silly. Look at the cloud. No, it's not silly. There's a lot of strong imagery of bringing down gold and crimson castles in this line, too, which I really thought that was interesting in this passage,

especially because Shay then says she would like to see a castle of gold which like okay i bet you would there's a lot of foreshadowing with shay in this chapter i don't know if i always noticed it till now every year i learn something new about a swath right like i'm always reading and i'm like oh i didn't used to think this last year interesting so this year as i read the books i'm like oh interesting shay you're showing your gold digging like side right now okay and we're gonna see this throughout the chapter we've got a little more to come so i mean she's just trying to get paid and i get it i get it girl same girl get paid or die trying. No. Exactly. And then we have this girl named Brella,

which is what? Is it short for Umbrella? Is she from the Rihanna song? I don't know. I was just gonna say that. I know. And she's like, oh, but that one looks like, now it looks like there's a tower that's falling and this castle is in ruins. And Sans is like, I don't want that. I hate this game.

This game sucks now changes you ruined it thanks you ruined everything which like of course in two chapters she gets her castle ruined again by robert aaron yeah then you know little finger being fucking weird about it but i think also that too when i see that i think that sans is like oh i don't want to think about that because it's a winterfell like winterf don't want to think about that, because it's Winterfell. Like, Winterfell is the place that has that single tower that's tumbling over that's the broken tower, which is,

as we're reminded later, that's where Bran fell from, and now she's heard, oh yeah, Theon Greyjoy went back and she ruined my castle. Like, we burned my whole castle, that sucks. And it's just too painful to think about home now. So she's like, I hate this game.

Fuck these clouds. This sucks. She changes the subject by saying, we're expected at the queen's wedding breakfast. And then she's like, have you guys seen my husband? My lord husband? And Shay gives this, like, snotty answer. She's like, might be he went to see his father, Shay declared. Might be the king's hand had need of his counsel, which comes off really snotty and haughty.

And it gives you this jealous vibe almost and kind of hints at this eventual Tywin involvement, which I would have this attitude to. Like you're stuck babysitting your lover's child bride. That's shitty. It is. And it's just like... Shay probably thinks that Sans is dumb. Yeah. As many characters seem to.

Yeah, because she's in her head a lot. She doesn't say anything out loud. She's just chilling. Yeah, if she did... She's like, well, please don't beat me. Yeah, if she did, like, say anything aloud, they'd be like, oh, those are traitor's thoughts. Yeah. No one values her so yeah brella's then like oh sansa should take a bath before the water gets too cold

so she undresses sansa by taking the woolen shift off of her and sansa thinks about all the things that are coming up today she's like fuck i should ask for my morning cup of wine to settle my nerves. No, you should have asked for a Bloody Mary or, you know, just brunch it up. Mimosa. Mimosa. And with a little like bacon or prosciutto, you know, just to give it a little protein because that's what you need. You really need. Or a bellini. It really helps you build your tummy up before you go to this like big feast. But midday, they're all supposed to attend the wedding at the Great Sept of Baelor, the whole ceremony for Margaery and Joff.

But the feast is early evening with a thousand guests and 77 courses. But first, Tyrell men and Lannister men would attend breakfast with the king in the ballroom with their ladies, while Margaery hosts her own breakfast with Tyrell women. They have made me a Lannister, Sansa thought bitterly, which really gives a big plug to that original outline that John of Knoxville mentioned earlier. Sansa in the original outline has Joffrey's kids, and she rues the day she even wanted him. In the end, she bitterly regrets choosing him against her family. I think a lot of people get stuck into that outline when they consider Sansa's character. I think they kind of forget, you know, what Sansa could have been versus what she is and what she's becoming. At the point in the story where we are at the end of A Dance with Dragons, you're looking at Sansa as like, where we are at the end of a dance with dragons you're looking at sanza is

like she's completely on the up she's learning she's thriving she's you know she's not in the best place she's still wanted for regicide you know she's kind of implicated in killing a king but she's learning and she's kind of getting a little more choice than what she had in king's landing versus where she would be in the original outline right now. I mean, she would just be stuck there in the Red Keep while Cersei waged a crazy war and Jaime was evil. George could have still had other plans for her. It's just that that was his pitch letter, okay?

That was what he said. This is how I'm going to start it out. And those were the very broad strokes because... We were all very different in 1993. I was one year old. i was a toddler um and george had to put like george had to make money and put food on the table and he's like all right this is an idea yeah and we were pooping our pants yeah exactly so good for george exactly frella says that she will fetch some hot water because sansa is shaking sansa lies and says the water's not hot enough but she's shaking from being upset which we see a lot in sansa's chapters

her maids are dressing her when tyrian and podrick finally show up tyrian is all podrick give me some wine and sansa's like there's gonna be wine at breakfast your whole family's made of alcoholics chill the fuck out and i do love that line from tyrian tyrian says to her you don't expect me to face my sister sober surely a mood sans is like me either give me the line you know she's like uh excuse me you're telling me and then tyrian's toast to a god and he's like that man had a maid he had two sister wives and three dragons. What more could anyone want? Then he wipes his mouth with his

hand and Sansa's like, oh, did you sleep? She notes that his clothing looks very unkempt and is like, what happened? And how this translates out loud is Sansa says, will you be changing into fresh garb my lord your new doublet

is very handsome and tyrian responds and the italics that i have in my voice are also in the book the doublet is handsome yes and takes podrick to go find new clothing that won't shame his wife. That's not really fair to Sansa, I feel like. Right? No, it was kind of weird. I was like, Tyrion, chill. Just chill. So, let's just break it all down.

He's obviously getting, Tyrion is getting the better end of this marriage deal, right? Sansa's young, she's budding, she's beautiful, she's highborn, and the Starks are practically their own version of royalty at this point. They were A, the last to kneel to Aegon, and since Robb was proclaimed king in the north, that value went up tenfold. She's a princess now in a lot of people's eyes, and while that doesn't suit the Lannisters to her face, it suits the Lannisters when it does. The Tyrells fall through, they have a princess hanging in the wings, and should they have the people and the time, they could retake the North under her name if they wanted, or the Riverlands, and some might even say the Vale eventually.

Just a few nights ago, Tyrion played the gallant lord, right? He was all, I'll never hurt you, I'll'll protect you i'm not like the rest of the lions but as tyrian has stated more than a few times he wants to try to get to know her he says and be her support or teammate if she'd let him in but this is sansa giving her cooperation this is the best cooperation she can really give him right she's putting on the show for him she's saying I will try to dance at our wedding feast. I will try to have you look presentable so Joffrey leaves us alone. And she takes care she does the same for him. You know, like basic respect. She takes a fucking

shower. She doesn't show up with like wine puke stained clothes or some shit. He kind of shits on her and mocks her here, which everybody already does that for wanting things to be neat and pretty. kind of shits on her and mocks her here which everybody already does that for wanting things to be neat and pretty but that's the only thing sansa's had control over this whole time right making things neat and pretty she doesn't have the lannister gold or you know the wine to keep her at bay which is what tyrian goes to she's had being pretty she secured her survival through dragging herself out of bed brushing her hair donning a silk dress powdering her nose showing up at court so people see her and know she's still alive and she's a highborn beautiful lady she's trying to save tyrian this pain ahead of time that

he's about to experience the feast when he draws joffrey's eye or attention. I think it's all those things like you said she's trying to save Tyrion from from being disrespected even more than he is but you know going back to what you were saying about how Tyrion's getting quite a deal out of this yes he offered Sons of the Choice to marry Lancel but in Tyrion 3 when he's told about the prospect of becoming Lord of Winterfell, you know, Tywin's all like, you shall never have Casterly Rock, I promise you. But when Sansa's starkened, it is just possible you might win Winterfell. Tyrion thinks to himself, Tyrion Lannister, Lord Protector of Winterfell, the prospect gave him a queer chill. Like, he does kind of want it. It's powerful. Just like he does kind of want it it's it's powerful and just like he does kind of want her like he thinks that too yeah and sansa it's that it's also just like a normal

offhand comment of all the things you said it also kind of strikes me as a it's a very married couple thing to say like oh babe are you gonna wear that that's what you're gonna wear out of the house like that should be seen as proximity but i think tyrian is just also so used to being insulted all the time that he's just sees daggers where there aren't any except for later when he sees daggers where they are daggers in the dark and yes indeed tyrian and podrick return they look a lot better for the wear when they come back tyrian even looks a little taller sansa comments podrick's wearing this purple golden white outfit and sansa thinks on how frightened she is of podrick's cousin illin while podrick is frightened

of sansa she asks him if he's wearing his house colors she's trying to make polite courteous conversation and hodrick of course young pod stammers and eventually comes to a yes poor podrick i know right he's so awkward i love him yeah and sansa is then tempted to be like I don't want to go to breakfast breakfast sounds lame, everyone's gonna be like weird, it's gonna suck can I just stay here see I'm not feeling well

I have my period, which like fuck I wish, I mean periods she could have had diarrhea but they make drugs now in the modern day yeah, things that actually make it like mildly tolerable anyways, she says she wanted nothing more than to drugs now in the modern day yeah things that actually make it like mildly tolerable anyways she says she wanted nothing more than to crawl back in bed and pull the drapes

i must be brave like rob she told herself as she took her lord husband stiffly by the arm and of course we have some food porn for what they ate at the breakfast feast. We got honey cakes with berries and nuts. That sounds good. Gammon steaks. Gammon apparently is ham that's been cured kind of like a steak, like a hind leg. Have you ever heard that? No, this is not what I thought this was going to be.

This is a very misleading name. I Googled it for us. So bacon, you've all heard of it i'm into it i'm pretty uh i'm a pro bacon pro bacon it's pretty delicious i'm into it personally if it's not for you it's not for you i get it finger fish fried and breadcrumbs those sound great too i had oysters the other day i told you about that aliana yeah Yes. I think that these might be smelts, but I don't really know. I'm just thinking of the last time I had fish that were finger-esque

fish that were battered and fried. I had them with plugging Silas Toms if you've ever seen him around on Twitter or on Tumblr. He has some great stuff about Lovecraft and Slime of Ice and Fire.

Fish fingers, like chicken tender, chicken fingers, fish fingers, finger fish, I don't know. Salad fingers. What the f- They ate some autumn pears, and there was this Dornish dish of- this sounds really good, this is something I probably would make-

of eggs, onions, fiery peppers, and cheese. And of course, they had lots of milk and mead and golden wine to wash it all down. Yeah, this sounds like a very good breakfast. Tyrion ends up drinking a lot of the wine because, you know, that's what people do at brunch. That's why it's called boozy brunch, okay? Hey, last time we had brunch, I drank booze. Exactly. I did not because I had a lot of booze the night before. And I know that people say hair the dog I'm not it just prolongs your suffering. Let's be honest. But also I'm

worried that if I stop drinking, I might die. Yeah, my body doesn't do that anymore. Tyrion doesn't need a whole lot though, even though he's drinking, which is not necessarily always the play but, you know, this is what he decides to do. These are the choices people make. And Sansa also only nibbles at the fish. She tries to eat the

spicy pepper eggs and she's like, I don't think I like spicy food and doesn't really eat much else. What's that book? The Alexander and the No Good, Very Bad, Awful Day or whatever whatever that's tyrian yeah tyrian lannister and the no good very bad awful day or whatever it only gets worse for him actually exactly he should have just eaten at brunch dude if he had eaten brunch tyrian would not have suffered as badly as he did that night yeah i mean are you right he was still he was still gonna be framed for murder but you know it's it's not like uh you know if he was just the right level of drunk

i don't know it would have been like the movie the hangover yeah except i guess it also sucks when you're like up against the cops and you're like y'all i drunk. So there's no there's no winning. Anytime Joffrey looks at Sansa, her stomach tumbles and flutters and lurches. Cersei solemnly presents Joffrey with the cloak that Cersei wed Robert in and the cloak her mother

wed Tywin in for him to lay on Margaery at the ceremony. Sansa thinks to herself, she's like, that looks threadbare, but that's to be expected from you, so I'm like, it was really good. Yeah. She's like, at least I had a new dress right now.

I got them. On a reread, you can sort of expect that this cloak is red and gold, just like everything about Joffrey and you can see that the Tyrells clearly do not give a shit about Joffrey here at the beginning of this wedding and that tips you off a little that they might kill him off because in A Feast for Crows for Tommen's

wedding Olenna is very particular that Tommen should actually be using the cloak with Baratheon colors and then makes comments about like yeah I mean obviously using the cloak with Baratheon colors and then makes comments about like, yeah, I mean, obviously we should use the Baratheon colors because those are his father's colors, right? Like, the colors of the king. Right, guys? Am I right? Am I right? Yeah. You heard of the king? In a long... you know,

the Baratheons, the Stags, which are... Who reigned for 15 years, like, for not shit sigil not not the lions because and it's kind of a jab of course that the lannister bastards and their parentage but i think it shows that the tyrells aren't stupid they know very much of how these trappings of power, these symbols, are really important to showing this idea of legitimacy and establishing their power and their rule through this imagery. And, I mean, after all, when they first got in this game, they did go for the boy who looked like Robert at first. You know, the one who really looks like a Baratheon, Renly, as opposed to like those three kids who look like Lannisters.

But theoretically, allegedly, they are Baratheons. I love our girl Rhaenyra, but what I'm trying to tell you is like, girl, you married a Valyrian and you banged a Valyrian and your sons came out with brown hair and brown eyes. Yeah. At least have some cooth, Rhaenyra. God. Cersei at least looks like her kids. Yeah, that's true. It's on to the presents, which is the most fun part.

It's a rich tradition, George says, which presents for the bride and the groom, and then after the wedding, presents for both, which I feel like isn't exactly like a tradition it's a wedding tradition but whatever i do think it's kind of a fun fact to learn about the reach supposedly um and i don't know much about the wedding traditions in the other areas of west rose because some of them like all those weddings were fucking dysfunctional and then asha ran from her wedding so i don't know what an ironborn wedding is like but we see

at the beginning of the book series that there is that tradition amongst the dothraki where they also have something like these bride and groom gifts specifically for each of them and though there are some gifts and moments where the bride is given things like oh i don't need a bow or a rock uh this should be for my lord husband but thank you bridal gifts are how denarius of course ends up receiving her dragon eggs and uh her horse her silver because i guess her husband was like i didn't give you a ring or anything but have this horse which is like literally what eliana wants that's true i don't know how to ride horses to be honest but could be cool could be fun i think you could learn yeah how hard can it be

you know i'm she gets knocked down but she gets up again i'm gonna ride this horse oh my god again is that our golden anniversary our one year does that mean in may next year that i have to get you horse riding lessons is that our stretch tier yeah or we could just do i've always had this um dream let me tell you about my other dream of having a tub something party where we have a whiskey drink and then a vodka drink and then the lager drink and then what's the last one we everyone's gonna be totally fucked up but that's my dream a tub something party i don't think that's... So, Jalabarjo gifts Joffrey a golden bow with green and scarlet feathers.

Lady Tanda gives him a pair of riding boots. Uncle Kevin, a red leather riding saddle. And then Oberyn gives him a red slash gold scorpion brooch, which kind of sounds like a warning and a gift, right? Like, a scorpion? Ooh, okay. Silver spurs from Adam Marbrand, who of course, as we talked about last episode, is connected by marriage into

House Lannister. Jane Marbrand was Tywin's mom and would have been Joffrey's great-grandma, and Adam befriended Janie from a very young age. Mathis Rowan gives Joffrey a red silk pavilion. House Rowan bent the knee eventually of Golden Grove to Robert during the rebellion, but they were very staunch Ares supporters originally, so as a higher reach lord, he is sucking

up hard right here. Right? Like, this is him going like, hello my king. And it's not at all, like, I i mean taxter redwine then sucks up mathis's kin uh because mathis is of course married to bethany uh who hoster tried to marry to brindan taxter redwine brings a model of a ship that he's apparently conscripting and naming king joffrey right that he joffrey's valor yeah he wants to gift it to the king joffrey, right? King Joffrey's Valor. Yeah, he wants to gift it to the King Joffrey. King Joffrey for King Joffrey. So these are like

the Reach Lords sucking up, like, yes, my king, we love you, my king. And Joffrey's like, I plan to sail and kill Uncle Stanny with it when I'm done. Like, oh. Wow. Yeah, everyone's probably just like, what? This is so weird. Kings,

am I right am I right it's funny cause I guess this is considered gallant for Joffrey like Joffrey's playing gracious here up until like Tyrion and Sansa's gift beautiful bound copy of lives of the four kingdoms yeah and this might be

Joffrey's greatest crime dude he destroys a beautiful book which takes a lot of work back then. Like, fuck this bastard. Fuck him. Fuck a Lannister. Exactly. And also, as we learned from last week and those last few chapters,

I think Joffrey needs this book because he literally does not know the difference between Aegon III and Aegon IV. And this covers the reign of Aegon IV, who is apparently like, that's who Joffrey's role model is? Like, again, he's patterning his role off of this guy. And maybe if he had read a history book, he'd be like, oh, wow, maybe I shouldn't do that. Look at all the- No, he thought he was a pimp. He was like, yeah, Aegon IV.

He thought those were goals. And I don't know, Aegon III and Aegon IV are just very different people. Well, I mean, to be fair, look at what Robert provided as a king. That's true. And then the other side of that is, like, what is

with George giving characters books that they'll never read that could have saved them? Arianne, Joffrey. You know, he just keeps stacking these places like here's a book that you could read and it could save your reign. Oh no. Is this a thing where George would gift books

to other people as presents, right? He's like, oh, happy birthday. I brought you a book that I thought you'd like. Yeah, and then they don't read them. But turns out he's just giving people a present that he would like. I don't know. I mean, I gift people books, but I also

gift the books to people that I think would actually read them and that would like them, but... Yeah, I don't think I gift books as often, but I do gift things. I don't know. Books are things. Yeah. Well,

and of course Joffrey immediately says to this gift what is this and tyrian says a book sansa's like a book sansa wondered if joffrey moved those fat wormy lips of his when he read which is like burn she's trying to imply he's an idiot i loved that line when i read it i was like oh damn get it girl wonder if joffrey moves his fat wormy lips when he reads idiot loved it i was so proud it was good joffrey is of course very ungrateful for this awesome gift i mean if you've never looked at a medieval like an illuminated manuscript they're gorgeous there's so much work in them um and there's no such thing as a printing press so someone had to sit there and they had to write all of the words down okay this is not there's no gutenberg yet and joffrey says that tyrian if you spent less

time of books maybe sandra would be pregnant now and that's not verbatim but he's like it's okay once I knock up my wife I'm gonna come and give your wife a royal bastard which like oh my god you can't say this in front of like everyone and why is this uncouth why is that your hero right and it's not even just Robert that pulled that that crab it's a on the fourth it's a bunch of other targs like after reading fire and blood it's like every generation or two there were handfuls of dragon seed they were pretty they were pretty open-handed or open-legged or whatever you want to call it you know like they just went at it sanza turns red and mace terrell saves that awkward moment with his present,

a three foot tall chalice with ornate aspects of the seven great houses in gemstones on it. A ruby lion, emerald rose, onyx stag, silver trout, blue jade falcon, opal sun, and pearl direwolf. Joffrey says they'll need to chip the wolf off and replace it with a squid, and Sansa pretends not to hear Margaery and I shall drink deep at the feast, good father which like, yeah you will enjoy it, bitch it'll be your last, you little fuck

I also really want this cup I want this cup I know, it's so baller, I think that's our stretch you guys, please contribute money to us so we can buy a bunch of gold, hammer it out into the shape of a cup, buy a ruby, carve it in the shape of a lion, put it on said cup. It's our Patreon stretch goal. Yeah. The greatest gifts, though, are yet to come from Tywin Lannister himself. He comes bearing a Valyrian steel sword.

And Sansa thinks about all those other swords that Joffrey had before him. Lion's Tooth and the one that she had to kiss, Heart Eater. What a stupid name. And she wonders if Joffrey will make Vardry kiss this sword. Its scabbard was made of cherry wood, gold, and oiled red leather

studded with golden lion's heads. The lions had ruby eyes, she saw. The ballroom fell silent as Joffrey unsheathed the blade and thrust the sword above his head. Red and black ripples in the steel shimmered in the morning light.

That's a pretty dope sword. Apparently there are many theories about the these swords as many of you know uh and is covered i believe in the next chapter the tyrian chapter this sword is joffrey then asks everyone to help name it and no one surprisingly suggests the name bode McBodieface. All right? That was a whole contest. There was like a whole, like, so there was a poll, right, once, where the lead boat of an auto sub long-range class of autonomous underwater vehicles,

they put out, like, a call for names and were like, Hey, guys, please suggest names. a call for names and we're like hey guys please suggest names and there was a proposal on an online poll to call it boaty mcboat face and that's what joffrey does here okay people throw out all these ideas and he decides he likes widow's wail i guess and then he proclaims that uh this sword's gonna make many a widow and that he is no stranger to valyrian steel which he shows off by hacking the book apart with the sharp with the sharp point of the sword like what are you doing i don't what does he even i can't believe he it's like a violent act. That's a violent act. That's an act of violence against a book. Bro, I'm mad. There aren't any...

There's three now. Yeah. Which Garland Terrell is like, yo, there were only four copies of this book, my king. You probably didn't know that. And Joffrey's like, God, there's three. You guys should be a better present.

And like, I don't know. I think that sword is so interesting. The views we get of Valyrian steel, especially when we get to see the coloring of this sword, especially because we know it gave them such difficulty to reforge this. It wasn't quite right. You know what would be interesting? I love all the tinfoil surrounding this sword because a lot of people uh myself included i've come to this camp in the last year think widows wail and oath keeper have to be reforged right they're

gonna find each other because jamie and brienne they're gonna be reforged but that name of course is interesting because joff spoiler alert dies very soon what and when he does, our good king Joffrey dies. Our good bitch Joffrey. When he dies, Cersei wails. The widow wails. And maybe instead of, you know, Jaime's hand, maybe he'll kill her with his sword because blood sacrifice

is probably required to reforge Oathkeeper and Widow's Wail into ice, right? Like, I don't know. It's some ideas. There's some crazy stuff. There's a lot of theorizing that goes on around those. So it's not a reforging theory, but I seem to recall that Radio Westeros, from which Lady Gwyn hails from, had a theory that Sansa would end up with Widow's Wail. She presumably perhaps being a widow

at that time and because Valyrian's scale is lighter, it would allow her to behead Littlefinger. I think I'm getting this right. Yeah, this was a while ago when I listened

to this episode though, but I believe that is some an idea that they have put forth yeah i like that that's interesting i think that does give a very interesting idea about it it also makes me like that or heart spain because i do have a strong feeling heart spain may go to sand directly game well joffrey's all, you know, haha, here's the book, I need a new present, this one sucked. And Sansa, maybe later, does help bring a new present, the Gift of Mercy, because I think I'm very clever, because, you know, Sansa's sister is... Alright, Tyrion offers his wit as a present, and is like, oh, maybe I should get you a knife to match your new sword. One with a dragon bone hilt you know like maybe the one that was given to a killer to take down the circuit and

joffrey's like what you yes a dagger to match my sword good he nodded a A gold hilt with rubies in it. Dragon's bone is too plain. Got him. You've been caught, son. Tyrion caught you right there. He told him, I know it was you who sent an assassin to kill Bran Stark. That's what he just said. And he called him out about it, like, boom. Tyrion drinks another cup of wine. He pays literally no attention to Sansa and they leave the breakfast and they end up walking near Oberyn and Ellaria's sand. Sansa finds Ellaria interesting. Ellaria is baseborn and unwed and she had given the prince two bastard daughters at this point. Sansa is impressed that Ellaria had no fear at looking

Cersei in the eye. She was almost a whore when he found her, m'lady, her maid confided, and now she's near a princess. Shae, are you projecting, sweetie? I feel like, again, these five little moments we get of Shae, that's some projection right there. That's what Shae is hoping for. we get of shay that's some projection right there that's what shay is hoping for yeah she's like looking at alaria and she's like hashtag gold she's like hashtag road to gold hashtag rags to riches hashtag insta follow hashtag follow me oberyn and tyrian start to discuss the book that joffrey destroyed oberyn says the author caith was, was too kind to King Viserys. He argues the king barely reigned, where Tyrion argues he reigned for over a year. A year or a fortnight, what does it matter? He poisoned his own nephew to gain the throne, then did nothing once he had it.

Baelor starved himself to death, fasting, said Tyrion. His uncle served him loyally as hand, as he had served the young dragon before him. Viserys may only have reigned a year, but he ruled for fifteen while Daeron warred and Baelor prayed. He made a sour face, and if he did remove his nephew, can you blame him? Someone had to save the realm from Baelor's follies. Sansa was shocked. But Baelor the Blessed was a great king. He walked the boneway barefoot to make peace with Dorne and rescued the dragon knight from a snake pit. The vipers refused to strike him because he was so pure and holy. Prince Oberyn smiled.

If you were a viper, my lady, would you want to bite a bloodless stick like Balor the Blessed? I'd sooner see my fangs for someone juicier. You heard it from the viper himself, you guys. Balor the Blessed was too skinny.

Not enough meat on those bones. Oberyn wants a little meat. a little juice on that caboose if you will for sure and the lobby's like yeah here I am and sets Sansa straight she's like of course he's kidding

he's kidding this is all jokes and then she says that the septons and singers like to say that Baelor went unbitten because of his piety but actually he was bitten like half a hundred times and he probably should have died that the septons and singers like to say that Baelor went unbitten because of his piety, but actually he was bitten like half a hundred times and he probably should have died. And then Tyrion's like, that would

have been probably for the best and Viserys then could have reigned longer and kept the realm away from Baelor and his crazy shit. Oberyn says that I've seen no snakes in the Red Keep, so like, how do you explain that your nephew... Viserys, I mean Tyrion.

Sir. Tyrion counters with, I prefer not to account for Joffrey. This, of course, is heavy foreshadowing in general for the purple wedding to come, and the precedent set that Viserys II possibly could have poisoned Baelor, it's what makes Westeros easily believe

Tyrion could poison Joffrey, especially after his wife, the would-be queen, was set aside for the new queen, Margaery. The Tyrell's ambition sets them apart and makes people think there's no way the Tyrell clan would ever ruin their chances at ruling the new monarchy. They part from the Dornish and they climb into their litter tyrian draws the curtains and sansa asks if they have to the day is lovely he says of course he'd rather not have a carriage full of dung so sansa does as she's bid and they sit in a stuffy warm gross room and sansa apologizes to tyrian about his book trying to show some Of course, the real person she should feel sorry for, he says, is Joffrey, because he could have learned a lot from the Book of Kings.

Sansa says hopefully the dagger Tyrion offered will please Joffrey more. And then Tyrion grimaces at that thought. He's like, well, it's more that Joffrey's earned himself a dagger. Yeah, he has. And then Joffrey remembers, again, that night that Rob and Joff were quarreling at Winterfell, which was supposed to be foreshadowing for a thing that didn't happen, according to the outline. And then Sansa asks, and then he asks Sansa, was there any animosity between Joffrey and Bran?

You guys, he's asking because of the dagger. And because he's figuring it out. Because Joffrey sent the cat spa. Because it's canon. Joffrey sent... It is literally canon. Okay, because... On so many accounts! So, people still question it,

but, like, all of this is now even more confirmed than it was before. Right? Because George said, like like first of all george said that the person who sent the cat's paw is going to be revealed in the storm of swords and it is through tyrian's chapters and i believe like what a conversation between jamie and circe and it's also borne out in the script that uh joanna robinson who writes for vanity fair shared and analyzed which is the last script that ge R. R. Martin wrote for Game of Thrones, which would have been this wedding. And it ended up being heavily edited.

But yes, George R. R. Martin confirms that Joffrey is a cat's paw to quote from this article. But in Martin's version of the script, which expands on the implications of his novel, the culprit is clearly supposed to be Joffrey. When he receives a sword from his father as a wedding gift, Joffrey publicly boasts, I am no stranger to Valyrian steel. Martin then writes, That chance remark means something to Tyrion. We see it on his face.

Before he can react, however, Joffrey brings the blade down in a savage two-handed cut on the book that Tyrion had given him. In Martin's script, Tyrion doesn't keep his suspicions to himself either. After he comes to the quote-unquote dangerous realization that his nephew tried to have Bran Stark killed, Tyrion says, that his nephew tried to have Bran Stark killed. Tyrion says, perhaps your grace would sooner have a dagger to match his sword, a dagger of Valyrian steel and the dragon bone hilt. Your father had a knife like that, I believe. You know, that thing we just like read a second ago. Martin writes that Tyrion's words strike home and the king becomes, quote unquote, flustered as he responds with, home and the king becomes quote-unquote flustered as he responds with quote guilt on his face let me have that whole uh uh similar spiel where he goes you i mean my father's knife was stolen at winterfell those north men are all thieves then to underline it all martin concludes in his stage

directions tyrian's eyes never leaving the king. It has just fallen into place for him. It was Joffrey who sent the cat's paw to kill Bran, the crime that started the whole war, but now that he knows, what can he do about it? Tyrion is later tempted to tell his wife Sansa what he's figured out, but decides instead to answer her innocent question about whether Joffrey might enjoy a dagger with a double entendre. It would certainly please me to give him one, Tyrion says. Had this made it to the screen, it would have helped explain why Joffrey is so publicly monstrous to his uncle at his wedding, and also set up Tyrion as a more credible suspect in the Joffrey poisoning plot.

He threatened the boy just that morning. It's interesting to see what George wanted to come through, what actually was written, and how in the books how it can get lost amidst the plot. Because let's be real, I mean, Joffrey as a cat's spot is pretty obvious when you compare the facts, but if you read it for the first couple times, you might not even think it's a big deal. You know, like it's not like an important you're like, obviously someone for the Lannisters tried to kill Bran.

Let's move on. Yeah, and. I mean, we as fans have obviously this great habit of building things up that maybe they don't need to be built up. Maybe it's simple. And it's great to explore it especially in the in between in the long night in the wait but i do think that the joffrey cat spa thing gets so heated with these like opposite emotions of someone like it wasn't joffrey it was joffrey it's why though? It's not really that important in the grand scheme of things. He's dead. And to me, I kind of like that it's anticlimactic.

It's an interesting foil to the other reveal, right? That we get about how the war started in Sansa's next few chapters that we're going to cover next week. And for Joffrey to have done it because of what Robert said, we as we've seen in these

past few chapters Joffrey really idolizes I guess for some reason Aegon IV but he idolizes Robert he's patterning himself off of Robert who is a terrible role model but he yearned for his father's like approval and love and to be like him and it turns the cat's paw incident against brand while it's not an accident there's agency behind it it becomes something like an accident which a lot of really great stories have like in shakespeare's tragedies the handkerchief that desdemona drops it happens at such a fatal moment and is used as evidence of, like, her affair, uh, and her, the, her treachery against Othello, even though she just, like, happened to drop her handkerchief. Or, like, how Romeo never gets the friar's message about, like,

the potion and that Juliet's actually actually not dead chill out everyone just just it's fine it's fine and then he dies and then everyone dies and it's just uh it's it's an accident and it makes the story a little more realistic real life has accidents yeah it's i mean it's not an accident because like he sent a cat spot and killed a little boy but what i'm saying is the book could live without the detail but it still has the detail and it's a nice detail. Yeah, exactly. It makes it more human. Yeah.

That not everything is part of a bigger plot. It gives Joffrey a personality. Yeah, it's not part of this bigger plot. That would be the only downside to me of it being downplayed is that it gives Joffrey a few more personality points than what we had. That line where we find out that Joffrey did that and of course the things about Robert beating Joffrey. I think that learning that he did it to get Robert's approval is such a very defining line about who Joffrey is. Agreed. As you said. Sansa comments to Tyrion that Bran was a sweet boy who loved to climb and he would never harm

anyone. Tyrion smiles and discusses how she loves her brothers. Is this some Lannister trap to make me speak treason? My brothers were traitors and they've gone to traitors' graves. It's treason to love a traitor.

He lightly tells her about how her mother catlin accused him of hurting bran but he's like uh it wasn't me this whole time he's teetering on the edge of like do i tell her that joffrey did this he's the reason bran's like this like what do i do and then he decides not to especially with how she doesn't want this information about her parent her mother her dad her brother whoever what does he want me to say that's good to know my lord he wanted something from her but sansa did not know what it was he looks like a starving child but i have no food to give him. Why won't he leave me be? Brings us back to when Cersei was talking to Sansa about how Tyrion is so desperate to be loved.

And because this is, after all, a book series in which there are multiple POVs all intertwined with one another, and this line is of course a setup for Tyrion's last chapter in A Storm of Swords, but you know, back to Sans sanza tyrian exclaims about how he never asked tyrian exclaims that sanza has never asked him about how her mother and rob died sanza's like i don't want to know that and it's just gonna give me bad dreams then tyrian's like all right that's fine i know a lot about bad dreams and doesn't press further which you know look at george right here he's tying together this whole chapter he started out with like sanza in a good dream and after all this fear and tension we're coming back to the idea of dreams and now it's about bad dreams yeah it's the nightmare. And of course, Tyrion is kind of pestering her, right, with the, don't you want to know?

Don't you want to emotionally be tied to me? Because he wants to be able to comfort Sansa. And he thinks that through a lot of his chapters on how he wants to comfort her. He wants her to come to him, you know, feeling sad and take her at this weaker level. And this last bit is him going, come on, like, don't you want to know how they died you didn't ask me i could tell you and then i could hold you afterward which is a little weird so yeah he wants to be needed yes he wants it's not that tyrian even wants to be loved he wants to be needed he wants to be relied on you see it when he's Hand of the King. You see it now with Sansa. I guess it's because we're not doing the Tyrion chapters yet

because that's not in our current order yet and we are still in the middle of the Sansa chapters, but I guess it's because Tyrion doesn't hope to be loved and the closest thing he's ever gotten to it is being needed. And so he's like

this is fine his duty yes but yes sure we're not we're not doing tyrian's chapters but that was sansa 4 and the next chapter that we have is a tyrian chapter wow guys look at this so we're gonna do our lightning round of one chapter and we're here at tyrian 8 tyrian 8 joffrey's wedding proves to be a huge show just as expected but what isn't expected is his murder at the show i don't know did i go british there what was that it's a murder mystery party and so here we are at sansa five sansa skin turns from porcelain to ivory to steel fleeing from king's landing she comes to wonder if it's all lies forever and ever the tolling of the bells the bells are ringing just as they had when king robert died the bells

serve as like a background music to this entire chapter and when they're finally silent um it signals very much a shift in sansa's story and gives it of course a very cinderella clock strikes midnight feel yes but of course twisted sister sky continues on in next episode which we'll talk about her time in the eyrie as a missing princess. Sansa feels that she's in a dream and whispers, Joffrey is dead. But this feels like a really good dream for Sansa because finally her reality has brought her some relief and she's out. She's escaping. And it's just like in a song.

And she even speaks to like the wildlife. Like, I don't know. She's like Pocahontas talking to Grandmother Willow or like- Or Snow White. Oh yeah, Snow White talking to all the like little forest animals. Or when you go to the Rainforest Cafe and you talk to the weird scary tree. But none of these are going to answer you back. But we know better now, George, okay?

We know. We know there's shit in the trees. We know Bran is in the trees, okay? And of course, dreams are significant throughout Sansa's storyline. She has those good dreams about Lady and her nightmares about ill and pain. And, like, in this chapter that's trying to tell Sansa that life is not a song again, you see that convergence of that waking and dreaming. Sidebar.

Snow White and the dwarf. Oh! That is something thattsman on here and the hound talking about how he wishes he had ripped her heart out the huntsman uh an evil witch many many that's uh that's little red riding hood and uh the big bad wolf all the all these fairy tales are in sansa's storyline yeah sansa is our ultimate fairy tale and I love it. Sansa fled before Joffrey had actually fully died, along with Lady Tanda, who told Sansa on the way out that she had a good heart to weep for her ex-fiance

after he had set her aside. The idea of it, of course, makes Sansa want to laugh hysterically. She doesn't know why she's crying as she's laughing hysterically. Joffrey was dead. He was dead. He was dead, dead, dead. Why was she crying when she wanted to dance? Were they tears of joy?

I mean, to be fair, she thought this was never gonna happen, right? Like, she thought this was it. She was gonna be in torture and torment for the rest of her life. Yeah, it's a complicated emotion your abuser is dead i know she doesn't know what to think um yeah she gotta get there first which is why the night before she had hidden her clothes uh she got packed and she's wearing them now and she feels that she's not afraid as she thought she would be though it's apparently very hard to unlace a complicated

outfit without maids which you know especially when you've been drinking that much wine all day right and lady tanda said that the gods were cruel to take joffrey so young. The gods are just, thought Sansa. Rob had died at a wedding feast as well. It was Rob she wept for. And Margaery. Poor Margaery. Twice wed and twice widowed. I want to comment that, like, we're going to come back to this in just a minute because

it flips really fast. Mm-hmm. Sansa was told, you know, dress dark, dress warm, but it turns out she has no black clothing anymore because at that time that she tried to burn down her room again. Also goals. And she instead wears a dress of thick brown wool and she's like, I guess this has a lot of pearls on it, but we're just going to cover that with this cloak, which is dark green. of pearls on it but we're just gonna cover that with this cloak which is dark green so i've been holding off on discussing it but i want to chat about lady gwynn from radio westeros's theory that we've commented and talked about very vaguely in our last few episodes because we're really looking forward to chatting about it with her next week when we have round for sansa six and sansa seven in a storm of swords uh lady gwynn co-wrote this with My Lady of York from Pawn to Player, but

this whole theory about the bloody cloak comes up that basically Sansa chooses a dark green cloak to wear to cover her less-than-plain dress top. But in the same chapter where Sansa's begging the gods for courage, she chooses this specific cloak thematically. She could have chosen the dark gray cloak she wears in Clash when she goes to the Godswood to meet Dantos, but this time she chooses a dark green cloak with a big hood. She's also wearing a thick brown wool dress underneath, and these are the very colors we often see Sandor Clegane in. Did I just say Sandor Clegane?

Yeah, you did. No, I sure called him Sandor Clegane? Yeah, you did. No, I sure called him Sandor Clegane. Okay, that happened. These are the very colors we see Sandor Clegane in in his own dress and raiment. Rough-spun brown wool, dark green cloak, just like he wears often in Clash. It's even what he wears when he kidnaps Arya. So not only do these outfits mirror each other thematically, but then the element of Sansa's cloak comes back into play. This wouldn't be the first time Sansa has

ever dyed something in the books, and somebody left their cloak in her room, bloody, stained, and white. Sansa is fashionably inclined, she's great at sewing, and she dyes the dress that Arya messes up with blood orange that she begs for Ned's life in. And of course, she thinks on the cloak and the kiss that accompanied the cloak in A Feast for Crows and A Storm of Swords. Sansa feels that the gods have heard her prayer, and then follows what is arguably one of the best lines in the whole series. Ever. Yes, ever in the whole series. Ever. Yes, ever in the history of mankind. My skin has turned to porcelain, to ivory, to steel. Every girl on Twitter has this in their profile.

It's, we regret nothing. I mean, I don't have it on my profile, but I have it like on my heart. It's fine. It's there. It's tattooed in my heart, too. Exactly. Sansa pulls the hairnet off, and her hair does a dramatic herbal essences tumble, as she does. I think. Maybe. We don't know.

Pretty much. Looking at it, she notices one of the amethysts are missing. A sudden terror filled her. Her heart hammered against her ribs, and for an instant she held her breath. Why am I so scared? It's only an amethyst, a black amethyst from a shy, no more than that. It must have been loose in the setting, that's all. It was loose, and it fell out, and now it's lying somewhere in the throne room or in the yard, unless... Ser Dantos had said the hairnet was magic, that it would take her home. He told her she must wear it tonight at Joffrey's wedding feast. The silver wires stretched tight against her knuckles.

Her thumb rubbed back and forth against the hole where the stone had been. She tried to stop, but her fingers were not her own. Her thumb was drawn to the hole, as the tongue is drawn to a missing tooth. What kind of magic? The king was dead. The cruel king who had been her gallant prince a thousand years ago. If Dantos had lied about the hairnet,

had he lied about the rest as well? What if he never comes? What if there's no ship, no boat on the river, no escape? What would happen to her then? This is a great chapter. What if there's no ship, no boat on the river, no escape? What would happen to her then? It's so great. This is a great chapter. I also just love this line.

It's this line that George wrote. Her thumb was drawn to the hole as the tongue is drawn to a missing tooth. Like, everyone knows what that feeling is like. We've all lost teeth. Yeah, it's so, it's such a simple and powerfully written line in my opinion because this is my podcast and i get to just squeal about dumb shit like this uh sansa though of course you know she's now in simple clothes and the magic hairnet is off and her transformation from highborn lady into a simple maid is complete

just like again in cinderella but of course with all the magic gone now the evil the murder and the amethyst what is in the amethyst dantos finally appears and the two squabble about whether or not dantos lied about the stones because yes there was murder and magic in these stones sansa learns tyrian has been arrested allegedly for poisoning joffrey which she thinks is a bit weird. She was with him all day. She's like, I don't know if he, I mean, he was talking shit, but I don't know. And then she's like, Tyrion poisoned him?

Her dwarf husband that hated his nephew, she knew. Could he truly have killed him? Did he know about my hairnet? About the black amethyst? He brought Joff wine. How could you make someone choke by putting an amethyst in their wine? If Tyrion did it, they will think I was part of it as well, she realized with a start of fear. How not? They were man and wife, and Joff had killed her father and mocked her with her brother's death one flesh one heart one soul so when people say sansa's dumb and little fingers outsmarting her i feel like

they tend to forget this passage because sansa knew she was implicated before she even got to the veil the very second she learns joffrey was poisoned she realizes she's been fucked too right like she reasons all of it out right there in that paragraph she thinks they're gonna know that it was me because Tyrion did it everyone's gonna think it was me too because I hated him because he killed my family everybody knows everybody knows and she thinks that right away she's not dumb she's not it's it's this all the things that you said about how she pieces together tyrian's implication with her own and like just from seeing that one of the amethysts was missing she knew you know like that's it was her yeah she was like

i have a bad feeling about this and she just suddenly knew like that's I have a bad feeling about this. And she just suddenly knew, like, that's very intuitive and very smart to reason that out. She's like, that was off. Then they go through the dark. And Dantos is super drunk and trying to go down these steps, which admittedly is very difficult. Yes, exactly. And just like the missing tooth, this is relatable. It's church.

Sansa notices, notices though that they were supposed to dress dark but Dantos is wearing his old shirt coat and he said I wanted to be a knight for this at least okay but fucking wear the dress coat idiot sure but this is a heist

this is a heist get the princess out you can see like from this and the black one what Dantos wanted to be. It is sad. It's also sad because he knew what he was doing. And he was like, this is my last hurrah. Yeah, this is the last time he gets to have

and he knows that this is the last time he'll have a chance to do anything kind of honorable. And then they come across this cliff and Dantos is like, we're gonna climb this now and sansa's like um no there's nothing there i'm gonna fall like my brother fell in case you forgot dantos is like it's fine there's a secret ladder it's gonna be really fun and she and dantos then share a moment where they're like we're gonna climb down this ladder together we saved each other and then sansa again thinks that she must be brave sansa listened to the tolling of the bell counting each ring at 10

gingerly ah she eased herself over the edge of the cliff poking with her toes until they found a place for rest the castle walls loomed large above, and for a moment she wanted nothing so much as to pull herself up and run back to her warm rooms in the kitchen keep. Be brave, she told herself. Be brave like a lady in a song. While she's giving herself a pep talk and still looking to her heroes and songs, we see Sansa again exhibiting stark braveness. One more step, she told herself. One more more step she had to keep moving if she stopped she would never start again and dawn would find her still clinging to the cliff frozen in fear one more step and one more step and of course this is training for her descent

in the eerie later but because again this is a book in which many things happen in this book, for example, Sam Waltarly's first chapter, I find the language here reminiscent of Sam also being afraid and him just being like sobbing. Sam took another step. I love that. And one of the most interesting bits, too, is her journey to the Eyrie begins with the journey ned took just a bit ago this is where ned climbed down when he went with littlefinger to go visit the brothel so of course she's about to begin a journey to where her dad grew up and he was ending his journey when he went through here and she's gonna go i guess meet littlefinger again our favorite person at the bottom sansa's surprised that she didn't fall and they walked down a little bit and then, wow, look,

there's a boat here. And Dantos goes, Oswell? And he's like, no names, you idiot! And this person is described as tall and gangling with long white hair and a hooked nose. In the background, the bells are still tolling.

Together, these three folk row down the river, and the nests cover the water. And then they're rowing past all these different memories of things that happened during the Blackwater. Later, we learn, of course, that this is Oswell Wendt, I mean Kettleblack, the guy who made

all those kids Eliana hates that came out of nowhere, like, just like how he came out of nowhere. Also, all these kids were knighted by the same guy, whose name was Robert Stone, out of the Vale. Interesting. So, that's all. Anyway. I don't hate them, I just, like, don't

know the difference between them. Sansa's like, are we there yet? And Sansa's like, shit. Sansos. Oh my god. Is that your new ship? Yeah, I guess so. No, fuck you. Sansa's like, shit. Sansos. Oh my god. Is that your new ship? Yeah, I guess so. No, fuck you. Sansa's like, are we there yet? And Dantos is like,

shit. And Oswald's like, shut the fuck up, you guys. Sound carries on water. And ahead they see a trading galley. The figurehead has a merman with a golden crown blowing a great seashell horn. I don't think House Manderly's in on this, but, you know, we're going to find out. Folks is from the Valen shit, but I'm just wondering if this is one of their trading galleys,

because they are the richest northern family, because they control Port City. Well, you know, one of my big thoughts is that in The Wind's Winter, the very last chapter for Sansa, I think she's going to have five chapters, and I think chapter five is going to start with Sansa pulling into the port at White Harbor, but then she's going to launch Sansa style and Ned style into the middle of her chapter to kind of talk about what got her here over the journey and what happened during the journey. I think that last chapter in The Wind's Winter

is Sansa pulling into the Manderly's home, into that harbor, and getting ready to go to the journey. I think that last chapter in the Winds of Winter is Sansa pulling into the Manderly's home, into that harbor, and getting ready to go to the North. That'd be interesting, especially being like, since they're trying to find Brickin, she's gonna be like, who are you gonna support? Dog? Yeah, exactly. Make your vote, bitch.

And as Sansa is pulled up to the boat, Sansa is trembling, and a familiar voice says oh no we have to warm her Sansa's cold and the worst part has passed but as we know from the previous chapter because we are doing a POV reread again

is that Sansa is not cold she's trembling because same as how she was shivering before the wedding feast she lies about it being the water is too cold she's trembling out of nervousness and fear and having had to overcome all of this in order to get here. Sansa thinks this guy is supposed to be in the Vale, and wow, look, Lothar Brun is here,

and then wow, she turns and it's Peter Baelish. Dantos is all, I gotta go. So can I, can I, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. Peter's like, hey, uh, you want your money? And Dantos is like, yeah, sure, cool. And Peter's all, Sir Lothor, the reward. And Lothar Broom lights the signal

and three crossbows just like nail Dantos, knock him down, kill him. Lothar sets the boat on fire. Like, boom, boom, boom, he's dead. Like, that planned. Everybody knew it was gonna happen except for Dantos and Sansa. Sansa vomits one out for Dantos. She's Like, that planned. Everybody knew it was going to happen except for Dantos and Sansa. Sansa vomits one out for Dantos.

She's like, bleh. Over the boat. Yeah, she's worried that she's fallen into something worse than the Lannisters. But Littlefinger goes, oh no. Oh no, your tears are wasted on Dantos. But Sansa's like, uh, he saved me. He sold you for a promise of ten thousand dragons. Your disappearance will make them suspect you

in Joffrey's death. The cold cloaks will hunt, and the eunuch will jingle his purse, Dantos. Well, you heard him. He sold you for gold, and when he'd drunk it up, he would have sold you again. A bag of dragons buys a man's silence for a while,

but a well-placed quarrel buys it forever. He smiled sadly. All he did, he did at my behest. I dared not befriend you openly. When I heard how you saved his life at Joff's turning, I knew he would be

the perfect cat's paw. Speak of the cat spa exactly and little finger i would like to point out you talking about how like sansa's disappearance and this plan of making sansa suspect this is not necessarily doctos's fault uh little finger this is your plan you made this plan in fact like he played a very weak-willed alcoholic to execute the plan that he made like first off you're all like oh no this plan didn't go through that i didn't make and then it's like yes you did and then it's like this guy sucked that i hired but i didn't hire him yes you did you literally you just told us you hired him i don't know i mean dantos is still a little bitch

but it's very sad all of the whole like i could a knight, I could wear my stuff and be a knight for the last time, and he knows he fucked up, you know, and Littlefinger doesn't even care. Sansa felt sick. He said he was my Florian. Do you perchance recall what I said to you that day your father sat the iron throne. The moment came back to her vividly. You told me that life was not a song, that I would learn that one day to my sorrow. She felt tears in her eyes, but whether she wept for Ser Dantos Hallard, or for Joff, or for Tyrion, or for herself, Sansa could not say. Is it all all lies forever and ever everyone and everything oh maybe it's such a heartbreaking line i know i can't believe that i can convey this emotion i've never had an emotion no no it's just sad that's just such a sad line from the girl that

entered the capital with all these dreams and hopes of songs and singers and harpists and dancers and mummers and feasts and beautiful things and animals and hawks and clouds and whatever just this beautiful dreamer of a girl entered the capital and had not only her body but her broken. And she just wanted something beautiful to exist. And she's just like, there's nothing. Not the drab north. She's like, is there nothing good in the world? That's life, kid. Coming of age.

Exactly. Littlefinger's so excited, though, to be able to do this. So he's so excited to be able to tell her, no, life sucks. He's got this whole villain monologue thing planned. He's just a very classical villain. Tw twiddling his mustache oh he is in his goatee like at the same time he's so jazzed to be like look at my brilliant plan let me tell you how i did all of it and he's all like i chose the gods one because the trees mean that no rats can hide there, and no one can hear. I'm so smart. Except for, like, Bran.

Exactly. Doesn't count for magics. He, like, asks about how the wedding was, right? Yeah. Like, what? Okay. This is our conversation topic? Is this Bobo?

He villain monologues again, part two, where he just, we talk about how peter came up with the jousting dwarfs to make tyrian more mad and then frame him some more and little fingers like widowhood will become you sansa you'll make a great widow almost as great as your mom was wait what what yeah little fingers like it was me all along but also just a moment ago remember we said we're coming back to this all right sansa felt pity for the twice widowed marjorie and now look she too gets to be a widow widowhood for everyone sisterhood yeah widow's whale and then of course sans is all like but wait why for villain monologue part three this is the part where a little finger gets to be like i did it for the lulz for funsies yeah

and then he goes like says some edgelord shit about why he did he's like oh i'm just so random and he holds up a spork and he talks about like, ooh, I'm gonna confuse people and they can't protect me because wild cards. And then he talks about the game. Of Thrones. Exactly, of Thrones. And you get Villain

Monologue Part 4 where Littlefinger basically reveals he was just super into her mom the whole time. She was a daughter of Riverrun and Hostertully. Family duty honor, Sansa. Family duty honor

meant I could never have her hand. But she gave me something finer, a gift a woman can give but once. No, she didn't. You know Littlefinger wants to be like I could never have her hand but I had her pussy and I'm like no Littlefinger.

You didn't have either you stupid bitch. I'm getting really mad. I keep going. It is worth noting though like cause Tyrion points out to Catelyn that Littlefinger both said he had Catelyn Tully's maidenhead and you might think that Littlefinger boasts that he had Catlin Tully's maidenhead. And you

might think that Littlefinger's lying, which he is, but he doesn't. What's interesting is, turns out Littlefinger doesn't think he's lying. He legit thinks that that happened, because why else would he bring it up here in this way and, like, hinting at it? And we see from that scene that Littlefinger actually honestly thinks that the night that Liza came into his room and he was really drunk and he thought it was Cat and whispered Cat, Littlefinger honestly thinks that he took Cat's maidenhead. You should really drink more water, you guys. You're going to drink a lot. Yeah. That's the lesson from these past two chapters.

Everyone should eat your food green beans yeah eat eat starches eat oily greasy foods those those finger finger actually it's technically protein that's why the oils are so good because usually they have protein in them all right everyone eat all of your protein and make sure to drink responsibly. Okay? You guys, drink water. I forgot how mad we get to be about Littlefinger for like four weeks. I know. It's literally the best. This is the best. Thank you for this present. This is my Christmas

present. This is it. This is our stretch goal to ourselves. Guys, we hit the end of Sansa 5. Wait, do you know know you should say get a job you didn't say get a job oh my god i didn't say get a job at all dude i don't even want him to get a job i don't think he deserves a job he doesn't even deserve unemployment little finger isn't gonna get a job in this side of town ever again except for when we go to the veil like in a day

yeah but where we get even more little finger monologuing oh my god dude he should get a job think of all the time you could spend at this job instead of monologuing that's true he could probably do both he could probably work in a very nice department store and look at himself in the mirrors once in a while and just start monologuing i mean who doesn't do that only villains but yeah he could start a podcast, you know? Yeah, the Littlefinger gets a job cast. Exactly. I mean, what is a podcast except for people monologuing?

Except there's two of us and we have a dialogue. What is honor except, wait. A podcast. No, it's a horse. You guys, this has been a great episode. We had a lot to get through today. I feel like next week is going to be the best lady win for Radio Westeros. So please make sure to tune in.

We love you guys. Thanks for listening. And hey, if you guys enjoyed this episode, make sure you also give a shout to our social media at Girls Gone Canon on Twitter or check us out. Send us an email on Gmail, girlsgonecanon at gmail.com. And of course, if you liked this episode be sure to subscribe to us on all of the different platforms well well you only really need to subscribe to one all right just the one that you use like for example you could subscribe to itunes

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patreon.com slash girls gone canon as always i have been one of your hosts chloe you can find me on the internet as lies in arbor gold.com and i'm another one of your hosts you know eliana also known as glass sample girl on different Eliana. Also known as GlassTableGirl on different things. Sometimes I'm known as other things on other things. Goodbye. Goodbye. Next week's gonna be fun, you guys. I can't wait.