Girls Gotta Eat - 2025 Dating Trends: Unseriousness, AI, and More

Episode Date: February 3, 2025

What is dating going to look like this year? We're diving into the reported trends for 2025, from AI clones to platonic romance to "Date With Me" to parents being involved, and more. We're also sharing our predictions and what our listeners think the landscape is going to be like. Before we get into the topic, we have a studio (and Rayna home) update, are sharing how we navigated a business challenge, and Ashley has a relationship announcement. Enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for more. Thank you to our partners this week: Fay Nutrition: See a registered dietitian for as little as $0 a month at https://faynutrition.com/GGE. Article: Get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at http://article.com/gge. Addyi: Learn more at https://addyi.com. Bilt: Get points by paying rent at https://joinbilt.com/GGE. Skims: Shop Skims best intimates collection at https://skims.com and in stores. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I think there's just been a pushback against bad behavior. And I think women are just like, if you're not going to take this seriously, I can't take you seriously. And I'm going to do whatever I feel like doing. This podcast is a Dear Media production. Hi, guys. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Got to Eat. It's February.

Your special month. Longest January in the history of January. I've touched you either day, like, how is this still happening? I was like, it's January 56th. Like, this is the longest month. It just won't end. It did not. Every day felt like a week long.

Like something happened in every day. Yes. Like that I think was the worst January in history of time. Of my time. Especially for, well, for America, but California people. Like, every, insane. I always like do my resolutions for the year. I like to go somewhere special, manifest, and write my list.

And every day I was like, tomorrow I'll feel like doing that. Tomorrow, surely something terrible will not happen. And every day, something back. Every day. So February is a special month. It is when we started the podcast. So we were coming up on our girls got to eat anniversary. It is when I adopted my first dog Dewey on February 4th.

And there was just all these times of my life where, like, I got this one dream job one year on February. And moved to New York? Yes, moved to New York. There's a good fun. I always forget. Every year I forget, like these monumental things. Those are pretty big. Moved to New York, started the podcast, got Dewey.

Yeah. And then again, I went that job. And it just was this thing. February is your thing. So February is my thing. So big month. And I'll talk about, you know, something exciting that's happening technically January 31st. But we'll be.

We'll call it Feb. Yeah, we'll call it Feb. We'll just run it forward to Fed. We're done with January. I'm fucking done with this. Fuck this month. Okay. Fuck this whole month.

Anyways, let's take our partners. Okay. Thanks to Article, get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at article. At article.com slash GGE and Skims. And Skims. And thank you to Addie. Learn more at addy.com and Bill, get points by pain rent at joinbill.com slash GGE and Fay Nutrition. See a registered dietitian for as little as $0 a month at Faynutrition.com slash gge. You know what is happening in February's Valentine's Day.

Yay. So Ashley and I own a sexual wellness brand. It's called Vives Only. It is the most beautiful high-end packaging of sex toys I've ever seen. It's a variety of. unlike I've never seen. We have toys for solo couples. We have lube. We have oral enhances. We've all of it. We've come out with the incredible line for Valentine's Day.

We really do. We have a massage candle. We have a cleanup cum towel. We have it all. Cleaner. Yeah, we have it all. Except a pillow. Look out 2025.

Yes. Okay. So we've come up with a huge line of stuff. We've five new products for you guys for Valentine's Day. You can always shop this at vibes only.com. Go out, get your sex toys. So top seller, which I'm just so excited. about because it really is the newest and most innovative toy that we launched with this Valentine's

drop and it is the Bond Band. And I encourage you guys to go watch this video on Instagram. It's on vibes only and I collabed it. And it is so funny. We love it. Raina has a cameo. Raina's dick has a cameo. If I had a dick, that's what it would be. That's what it would be. It would be gold. A gold member. Yes. And it just shows how to put it on and use it. And so people, but people understand it. You know, you're going to put this on the penis and it is going to vibrate on your clitoris and you're just going to turn on and then you're going to hop on and it's going to stimulate both parties. It's adjustable. It is truly one size fits all. Like any size dick that you can imagine. Like we've tested this on like full egg plants. You know, like it will

fit or if you got teeny tiny little thing, the bigger or the smaller. Yeah, the better. The bigger and smaller. And that's really it. And, you know, I just don't want to overcomplicate it. And someone wrote in comments like, are the strings going to irritate me? A, no, they're the super soft silicone that we always use. But they're not going to just, you'll see. It's fine. You know, like I've use this a bunch. Like, I think you've never used a toy that looks like this before and you're like, what's going to happen with the, it's, it's going to, you're going to be great. Yeah.

You're going to love it. It's our adjustable cock tie. We also have a cock ring. Our richer and our other bestseller. We have a new color for you guys. So that's a beautiful like turquoise color. It's our first blue toy. We have a cherry red reina, which is our Air Pulse vibe.

It's our number one best seller if you want an Air Pulse vibrator. And then the Lucy, which we're so proud of. It's our bullet vibrator with three attachments. And so it's basically four vibrators in one. We've redesigned it for Valentine's Day. And there's a. Nipple play attachment for the first time ever. So there's four different new toys to shop. I can't hype this enough. This is the most beautiful packaging in the entire sex toy world.

So if you're like, I want to be proud to gift something to my partner or to myself, this is it. Yes. And the raspberry cream suck and blow gel is blowing off the shelves. You guys, we, it's so funny. Like, we can only do so much market research to know what flavor every single buyer is going to want. And, I mean, the dill pickle, which was a joke, sold out in a day. And then the raspberry cream is, like, crushing. So get it before it's gone. People like those fruity flavors. And we have three on the site right now.

We have red velvet. We have sugar cookie and the raspberry cream. So get that on any body part. Look it off. But it's like, it's that perfect mix between, like, fruity and refreshing and kind of that decadent dessert. But it's not too heavy. It's still light and refreshing. And, oh, God, it's so good.

But get it now, seriously. Yeah. Because once that's gone, we don't know. They're all limited. Well, you never know. You never know. Vibesonly.com, shop for Valentine's Day. We're so excited to be in your hearts and your body parts and your bedrooms.

Okay. A couple more things. One, go birds. And two, on a personal note, I will be announcing my tour a week from today. If you guys are listening. So on February 10th, the day after the Eagles win the Super Bowl, I will announce my tour. I have a lot of dates more than I did last time. You got a little gatekeeping with me about it.

Name a city, I'll tell you if I'm going there. I don't want to. I don't play this game. I should know this. Well, just let's play it. Phoenix? Yes. Salt Lake.

Yes. I'm trying to do South Island. Minneapolis? You don't know yet. Chicago. Yes. Okay. Miami.

Yes. Tampa? Yes. Philly? Listen, when I announced a city... Maybe you don't want to play this game. And if you don't see your city on there, there could be a reason. Maybe I have some cities.

I might want to shoot this special in, you know, so it's very, obviously, it was, or she hates you. It was straight. Yes. Obviously, I don't want to Philly. I'm like, can't wear the Kelly Green enough. People are like, well, you know what you did. You guys know what you did? No, we love our Texas listeners. All of our girlies. All right. Just named like two more. Denver? Yes. Did I say Salt Lake? I said Salt Lake earlier. I'm trying to think like one of the things that I actually know about because I've been looped into these conversations. Throw in a California city. San Francisco. Okay, we can stop playing. No, it is.

I am. San Diego. Yes. Okay. You named a lot of them. So I'm announcing all those next week. Raina, I'm sure we'll come to some. Yeah, we'll see.

I don't know. Yeah, why not? We'll do girls trips. Yeah. So, and there's more than I just named. And then again, it's like some of my favorite cities. If you don't see them, there's might be a reason why. Whatever.

So the 10th, I'll do that and excited to see you guys. And we just wanted to say, I mean, it's really been a month since the fires here in L.A. And I really feel like, especially with the new cycle. and everything that's happened since, like, the rest of the country is probably not thinking about this. And that's no shade, just the way that people in L.A. still are. And, you know, I have been volunteering. I volunteer with an organization called One Voice, L.A., which they've done a lot of work. I volunteered at, like, a donation and distribution center, and that really felt good to do. And you can talk about it, but we, like, adopted a family. Yeah, we were just trying to figure out how we could be more impactful

to one person's life. And Ashley and I adopted this family. There are a couple. They have two daughters. They had started a dog training business. They were out of town and lost everything. So Ashley and I fulfilled their Amazon wish lists. And it's just been really nice to, they've been texting with me and just thanking me. And their daughters got like new shoes for school and new outfits. And it felt really nice to just do something for someone and know that it really had a big impact on them. And if you feel inspired to do that, go to GoFundMe.

There's lists on lists on lists of people that need stuff. And $5 is really meaningful. That's all that most people can afford, and that's really meaningful. Yeah, I have a highlight if you want to steal the music GoFundMe's for the most part, I assume, still exist. And this girl named April, she came to me through a listener and hers is there as well. And I talked to her personally. I talked to her about her story. And she went through a pretty painful divorce.

And she was just kind of starting to get back on her feet and start a new career. And this happened, you know, and she lost everything. She was obviously able to make it out with her pets. She's a cute little dog. And so she is someone, if you feel so inclined, you know, that I really want to, want to help her out. And I posted her and a lot of people donated and I donated to her as well. And so she's somebody that's just, she's on my highlights if you want to check her out. And we talked about this last week, but if you're feeling a lot of despair and for whatever reason, you know,

and you're like, I feel like I got to do something like volunteering, it really makes you feel so good. This isn't like a hot take, but anyone in any community can volunteer. And you feel like that sense of community when you're doing it, you know, like, like-minded people who want to help and you're being one of the helpers. We always talk about, you know, they say go find the helpers. And something like Meals on Wheels. I mean, I kind of remembered. I used to do Meals on Wheels back in Atlanta.

And, you know, I was looking up the Meals on Wheels on the West Side that I might start that up again too. And, you know, if you have the time and the commitment to do like a big brother, big sister thing or even just like, I remember Atlanta, it was like Trees, Atlanta. And like, I remember like one of the leaders that organization being like, people meet here and like date. Because it's like you're also finding people that want to give back and be a part of the community as well.

And so if you're feeling that like, God, what can I do? Like, that will make you feel better and you're contributing to your community. And so I just think that's really important. Remember when we first met and we did God's love we delivered? So God's love we deliver. It's an organization in New York City. And they cook meals for people that are just terminally ill, can't really leave the house, and they deliver it. And I worked with them for so many years with different restaurant groups.

I worked at and I organized this like volunteer day and you came. I barely knew you. It was so cute. Oh, my gosh. I'm going to put it on YouTube. There is a picture of Ray and I. like volunteering, like serving up these meals, maybe like our second photo we ever took together. The first one was at Prince Street Pizza or the first one was in Aruba.

But like first five photos of us was like volunteering our old faces. You came. I was like, oh, she showed up. Like I didn't know. You're a new friend. I know. I was flying out that afternoon and my flight kept getting delayed. It started to snow.

While we were in there doing our thing, it started to snow. And my flight to Miami kept getting delayed. I was going to go see that guy with the stuffed animals. That's crazy. Yeah, it's like, I remember that day I was just on kind of a high because I was like going to go visit him. And I was like, I'll go volunteer with this new friend. And then like, I stayed longer than I needed to because like my flight was just getting like delayed. I got there late at night.

He took him into some like comp, restaurant. We bonded over it. It was real. That's why we became friends. So, yeah, it's just I agree if you're feeling any sense of despair about anything, just it's a really nice thing to just dedicate a few hours of your day to somebody else. And just that like, what can I do? And it's like, if we're talking about politics, you can always make calls and do things.

But like, if you're like, okay, just in general. what can I do to kind of feel better and feel like I'm contributing to the world in a positive way? I just think the options are endless. Okay. Okay. Well, big February for us, we will finally be moving into our new studio. I am so excited. I mean, full transparency, it's been in my house for years.

I moved, and I said I could be at my house, and I changed my mind. And it wasn't great. Ashley was really cool about you guys. I was like, oh, I don't want to hear anymore for a myriad of reasons, but I don't really want people having my address. So, well, I mean, it was, we had a garage before. We had a big garage space. It was going to be in a bedroom. Like it wasn't going to be ideal, but you.

Oh, wait. You waited too long. But listen, Raina, listen, this was, Rayna and I worked through this together. It just threw things out of whack and you're allowed to make decisions, but we relied on something and then it kind of blew up. But it is one of those things if it all worked out because the space that we found wouldn't have been available back then. And, you know, like these things all work out the way they're supposed to work out.

I love that we've been able to be here at Gravitat. they've done so right by us. And it's just been a really wonderful experience. This is a private club in Beverly Hills. We encourage you guys to check it out. Gravitas Club.com. They have membership opportunities. And it's just stunningly gorgeous.

And it's been nice. Like, I'll look back on the journey as like it happened the way it was supposed to, even though we had some tense moments. I mean, it is a real testament to our business partnership. I mean, I promised you we would put it at my house. And you were like, I don't know that you really want it there. I mean, it was upstairs in, like, you have to walk past my bedroom. And I kept thinking, like,

like I like it at home. I like having everybody there. And as I renovated, I just kept feeling like, I don't think I want people up there. Like strangers, guests and our house. People bring their assistants and their publicists. It's also, it's just too small. Yeah, it was also too small. Yeah. I mean, you know, I don't blame you. I mean, you bought your dream house and you don't want to put the podcast studio and you're one of your, you know, extra bedrooms you shouldn't have to. Yeah. I'm trying into a closet now. He thought you were going to. I really didn't think I was going to. And I had said to Ashley, like, I hate this. This is not the type of business partner. I want to be to you. like I made a lot of promises to you, and I'm reneging on them now, and you were a lot cooler than I thought you were going to be.

But, I mean, it's just, it's hard when someone tells you something. And like, you weren't like over the mood, but you were pretty cool about it. I don't have anybody in my life that I really, like, I don't blow up anymore. I pass that point. I mean, I guess I could always be activated enough to do it. But it's just like to look at someone and be like, yeah, this sucks. I don't know what to tell you. Like, I'm kind of mad.

But we'll get over it. We'll get through it. Yeah. I don't lie. I don't know. I wish you would have handled this. I don't know what to say. You're looking at someone.

You're like, yeah, I'm pissed at you. I know. But we'll figure it out. We were sitting downstairs at the standard. We were meeting at the standard for drinks. And you let me sit in that lobby by myself for like 30 minutes. And I was so mad. And I was like, what am I going to say something to her?

about it and then tell her we're not putting the studio in my house. I was upstairs working on our business. Yeah, I was like, we can't mention this. And yeah, and then we got back and these fires started. So I didn't have a chance to look at studio spaces. And I promised that this would be like my thing and I'll find it. And so anyways, we finally found this incredible space. They've an event space.

So hopefully we'll work on events there. And we move in and we'll launch our first episode there on our seven-year anniversary next week. Oh, my God, I could cry. Also, I mean, I will say, like, we say this all the time here. A lot of change your mind. I mean, your decision did affect our. business, but we worked it out and you took responsibility and managed it all. You know,

like we've been different places. I mean, you guys have known. We've been, we've been all over the place. And I'm glad we finally found this place here that the sound is good. And the video looks good and, you know, better than some of the previous. And we just, we worked it out. And so the timing worked out and you just took responsibility. And we're like, I'll do this. And you did it. Thank you. So the movers come and then wallpaper people come. And I'm going to organize it. And the hope is that you just walk in. And it's, set up and we're ready to go. No, I'll be there. I don't need you there. It's a two-person job. It's a miss you and Tessa. Be and Tessa. No, but. It's like 16 boxes total and like little

furniture, so it's not that much to do. It's just a little bit. And this is my fucking dream. I love this. There's nothing I love more than a project. Yeah. And it's, we can't wait for you guys to see it. So we're really excited. But speaking of moving, it's even bigger moving update, you guys. I wasn't sure if you were going to announce this. I'm excited. So my fiancee is moving in. with me. This is the third. He will have come on the Friday before, so not quite February 1st, but January 31st. We'll call it February. And I couldn't be more excited. I mean, it's one of those things that we knew that this would happen, and it was just a matter of when. And I don't know, I go back and forth of this same kind of thing. Like, it always works out how it's supposed to.

We talked about it being before the end of 24, but then we were on the East Coast all of December, and we did Boston and New York, and he was there. And, like, how much would that have sucked if he had to be in L.A. with a new job and he wouldn't have been there and like the holidays with our families and stuff. So it just actually worked out so perfectly. And I also kind of thought I was like, I would have liked him here when the fires were happening just for like to someone to be with and the support. But I just, I don't know. I like that you and I were able to spend that week together. Like we wouldn't have been able to do that just me and you. And I just think that was like really nice for our friendship. I don't know. I was like an emotional. Like if he was here,

then we wouldn't have done that. And it was like a tough thing that the city experience. And so you and I obviously were feeling some type of way and we did a whole episode on it. And we, you know, we're able to get away and spend the week together just the two of us. And I think that that was really nice too. It was our last hurrah. Yeah. Just like at the buzzer. We lived together for a week.

So I feel like it's perfect timing. And, you know, I have always sat in this podcast. I'm on record saying that I feel like when you go from long distance to moving in together, you're skipping a step, which is dating while you live in the same city or being engaged. And I understand that, and I still stand by that. And I was happy to skip the step, you know? I think a lot of that is like when it's too soon, you know. And also, everybody's different.

Couples meet long distance. They do for six months. They move in. They are married forever. Like it just, it's coupled a couple, person, a person. You know, if I had a rule about it, I guess I think you should be together a year before you move in in any city, long distance or not. But, you know, whatever works out for you.

And a year ago, you and I've been together like 20 months. you know, coming up on two years. A year ago this time, like we were very much, obviously, in love, committed in a great relationship and the goal would be to live in the same city, but we would have moved in together probably a year ago. You know, I think it's like I'm in a house that I feel like has enough space. It feels like his home already, you know, just like the way that I feel like I'm at home when I've been in his apartment, now former apartment in Boston.

It just feels right. You know, I can't deny that I've had doubts about this. I'm still the same person who said I wasn't sure if I wanted to live with somebody, but I have changed since I've met him and I've thought about it a lot. I've talked to him about it. He's been so understanding. And it's not just like, it's not concerns. It's just like there's reasons why I thought I didn't want to do this, you know, and it has nothing to do with the way that I feel about you or or how much I love you and I want to live with him. You know, I feel really excited. Like I'm 100% confident and excited. And I don't know if I want to use the language. Like it just took me a minute to get

there. I think it is just the right time. I think. We've been together, you know, again, like I said, coming up in two years, I know him in and out, I'm going to marry him. And I've been with him a lot. And I know what it's like to live with him. And this is what is right. And I like know it. And I don't think it took you a long time to get here.

I'm glad that you feel like that. Yeah. That's a beautiful statement and sentiment. But I don't think it took you a long time. I think you took you like a normal. It's not four years. Yeah. It took you like a normal, healthy amount of time.

Well, I think, I don't know, everybody's different. typically what we've seen is that women are usually ready to move in first and guys are and they drag their feet a little. And I just, like, knew I wanted to marry this man early on. It just was like the living together of it all. And we've talked about this on so many different episodes, but I just don't have those concerns anymore. I want to be with him and be in our home and do it.

And so I'm ready for it, you know? You're going to live with a boy for the first time. It is crazy that women want to live with him. with men. I, every, I mean, I've lived with three men. It's psychotic. I've literally been real, I've lived with three men in my life. I don't know that it really enhanced my life on that much. I mean, I'm so anal retentive about like pushing in chairs and cleaning up. And I, I have many times dialed it back for a partner because I, I can't helicopter a person. I don't want to treat my partner like they're my child. That's not sexy. But like, it is a lot of

self-talk of like, just don't fucking say something about everything. It's really hard for me. Because I don't like wet towels. I don't like dishes. I don't like chairs being pulled out. Like I will, my dad says I follow him around the house pushing in chairs and cleaning up dishes. And I'm like, maybe that's a hint for you to push a chair in. But there's so much good, obviously, that comes with living with somebody. And I think that like it removes the stress that you have of when am I going to see you?

What's the next date? What are the plans? Are you going to be around for X, Y, Z thing? It's just, it makes you feel so much more calm. Yeah. I mean, I lived with an ex. short-lived, you know, like, we broke up, but I wouldn't say it was because we moved in together. I think that was the writing was on the wall. But I don't know. I always have to ask people,

like, what are you scared of? You know, like, I remember kind of early on in this relationship, I was talking to friends that are of ours that are married. And I was like, I don't know. I just, it's like, I don't want him to see me when I'm like in like a really bad mood or when I'm just wanting to be alone. And my friend was like, but he will eventually. I'm like, says who. Not if we don't move. You don't have to. You don't have to. You can be. Live apart forever. We did a whole episode on it with Kelly Coin. You guys loved it.

This couples live apart together. But I don't know. It's kind of weird too because, again, I haven't lived with anybody in a really long time. And, like, I feel like I was reminded when we spent that week together. Like, it's so nice. It's so nice to just, like, chill with someone and put on a movie and wake up together. Not that I was waking up next to you. But I just, I'm excited about all the things, you know?

And again, I can't stress it enough. I think the size of your home matters a lot. I know this isn't like I have such a huge home, but I say this to say that my previous home, which I loved so much, it was so gorgeous in West Hollywood, I wouldn't have lived there with him. There just wasn't enough space. And I wouldn't have been like, we'll make it work. I just know better. It wouldn't have been like, we got to hold off. You have to get your own place or we'll find a new place together. There is not enough room. We're going to be on top of each other. We're going to be frustrated and annoyed. And that's just what it is. I don't know how I did

it in New York. I did it in a studio apartment. You asked me the other day. We were on lunch with another friend of ours and you're like just hypothetically like what do you do when you're just like I can't be around people I'm in a bad mood and I was like I literally I went to the bathroom like I there was no escaping this person and like you said I didn't want my partners to see me when I'm the nastiest when I'm in the worst mood when I'm like the most upset and it's like where do you go because this is your home your safe space and you're like I don't want you to see me yes that's such but we were talking to a friend right now her partner's just dealing with a lot of anxiety and his job and it's like understandably so and it's like how not absorb your partner's mood. And maybe we'll kind of dive into this at a later date.

But regardless of the living together, I'm so thrilled for him to move here. I mean, we're going to get married here. We're planning our wedding. I'll keep you guys in the loop on that. And I'm just, I love him. I want to be with him, you know, as much as possible and have our California era together and have him be able to do stuff for us that we may need around your house or the studio. I know. I had to get tested to come over and help me flip his table over yesterday. Yeah. Also, I was giving her these lamps. I don't make her just come over to move a table. But I was like, SparkLLLLLons, can come do this with me now. Yes. We have a on-call task rabbit. But I, he's neat and tidy. And I don't, and I am, and I'm getting more so every year.

Like, how does it work when one person is really neat and tidy and the other person is not? I don't know. I feel like both people have to compromise a little bit. But like when you're both so far on the ends of the spectrum, like, just like, I don't know, you could compromise a little bit. It is so hard to get even towards the middle. Yes. I'm like, my house, I don't make other people feel uncomfortable, but it is, it's always clean. I do the dishes before I go to bed. Yeah, same.

I tidy up 15, 20 minutes of tidying every night before I go to bed. Every single night. I put shoes away. I hang coats up. Like, I can't imagine a world where I'm not doing this. If I wake up and I haven't folded my blankets on the couch, I'm like, who is she? Was I wasted? Like, I tidy up every single night.

Like, I come downstairs. It looks a certain way. Me too. And it makes my, I do it because it makes my mornings better because I like to come downstairs. I have my routine and I write my to do this. I drink my coffee. I don't want to start my day cleaning. But like if somebody just like left their shit around.

I mean, listen, life is about compromise. And you just say to yourself like, there's tradeoffs to everything. Like I live alone, but I don't know somebody to hang out with every single day. And that is really nice. It is nice to be like in the same room not engaging with each other sometimes. Just like you were working and I was reading a book. It's just like nice to be in the same room as a person. And I love to be around people.

I need to stop lying to myself. I know I'm like an independent woman. What you like to do is be in a room full of people on your phone. That is your favorite thing in the world. It's called parallel play. Yeah. You love when everyone's around you and you are on Instagram. Shut up.

That's your best life. That is some bullshit. I am not that friend at a dinner, like on my phone. No, but when we go home with your family. Oh, yeah. But you do like to be around people a lot. I know. always have. If I haven't talked to someone in three hours, I'm like, do I lose my voice? I'm like, is my

throat scratchy? Like, it doesn't feel natural to me. You know, I'm always on those long phone calls. Yeah. I'm never not on a phone call. I've started to realize how much I really do want that, you know? Mm-hmm. Also, I just think as you get older, like, your priorities change. This isn't like a hot take. I just don't go out as much. I like less alcohol-based activities. I don't want to party as much. It would be nice to just have the social scene at my house. Yeah, and I see a lot of content. around, you know, people who, like, want this so badly, you know, like, not my specific life, but, you know, want a partner, want to move in, want to be engaged, want to get married, and have someone to have dinner with every night and not be alone.

And it is really nice. It is really special. But, you know, when you're alone and you're cooking dinner for yourself and you're single, like, just enjoy those times. And, like, they're not going to last forever. Like, I'm about to live with someone forever now. Oh, my God. So that's an interesting thought.

And that's what marriage is. I'm happy to do it. But like, those days are over. And I am excited. And I am excited to enter the next phase of my life. That this, I couldn't be more excited. But like, to the single women who was most of my life also, like, those moments when you are like, cook yourself dinner. pour yourself a glass wine, watch whatever you want on TV, do whatever the fuck you want,

buy yourself, be alone with yourself, masturbate, whatever you do. Like, just enjoy it because you will find the person and you will live with someone until the end of time and you won't get those times back. And so just try to enjoy it rather than being like, I hate that I'm alone. I hate that I don't have someone to share this dinner with, you know. That's my life. I mean, I just, I like being, I like my own company. I like being in my own thoughts.

I like to write my to do-o list and make a little project. and just like I have a lot of phone calls like every day. I just call somebody and it's just, it's nice to enjoy it. And I've had a lot of time with other people like you said and both are good. And it's good to just not beat yourself up when you are alone. Yeah. You are really holding on to that cockering. I just, I love it.

It's your emotional support cocktail. Well, I've realized even when I watch back sometimes I always, I play with my hair tie too. I think I like to fidget it. Yeah. I fidget it with my hair. Yeah, I think I just like to have a thing in my hands. This is perfect. It's a cockering.

Yeah. This is unused, by the way, you guys. Can you imagine? It's got pussy juice on it. No. It will this weekend. One time you had to use something that year. I used something in Washington, too.

Right. Yeah, we talked about it. We did both test that by that. Because we were on a tight deadline. Right. And the crazy part was that we had to test that vibrator was a very specific type of, like, stimulation on your clit. And we both hated it. So we did that for nothing.

That is true. Remember we were like, we both hated it. Traumatized ourselves. No, I think we bonded. Yeah. All right. Well, I'm really excited for all the stuff that you and I have coming up. It'll be great.

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And the company was like, sorry, it's out of stock and we're never restocking it until the end of time. It's just gone. And I was like, what I was supposed to do is fucking top of this table? And they're like, we don't know, keep it. It's just a giant block of wood. Yeah. And it's so heavy. You can't.

Tessa and I really struggled to just move this table top. Yeah. And then I ordered this other table on Etsy, which arrived and it was too small. And like, you guys would think that I just measured it. And I thought I did. I thought I wanted a smaller table. I didn't. It doesn't seem like you.

It is unlike me. And the table came and I was like, well, fuck, this is too small. So what I did was I took the legs from the Etsy table and I put it onto the tabletop that I bought online. And then I was like, how do I do this? And I had to like go to the hardware store and buy like L-shaped brackets and a new drill and like figure out like screw length. I was at the hardware store forever. Tessa had to come over and help me. I had to figure out how to use a, what is a Dietz?

Adet's drill? Dualt. Oh, DeWalt. DeWalt. I bought like the name. I bought like an expensive drill. Your brother had to FaceTime me to explain to me how to use it, which was the sweetest thing in the world. Listen, it's a high-tech drill.

I didn't have a drill bit in. I have a tiny little pink drill from Target. Yeah, that's cute. I have a girl drill. Yeah. I needed to like drill holes into wood. Raina, I did not know you did all this. You got brackets?

I got six bra. Ted Tess is like, yes, she did. I got 12 L-shaped brackets and I drilled all the holes, 32 holes. and I attached the legs to the table. Now I'm even more impressed. We'll put the Franken table on. It is two different wood tones. The legs are dark, it looks cool.

So I built a table. I'm really proud of it. And Tess had to come over and I'll be flipping over yesterday. It was really so heavy. Oh, seriously? Oh, you could even flip it's that heavy. I can't move it. I can't.

The two of us could not flip it. We were like, how do we get up under it? Like, I think there is a like piece of steel in the middle of the wood. I've never experienced anything that's heavy. Right. Like, why would it be so heavy? It's inexplicably. Tessa, you can't tell by looking at her because she's just like so cute, but she is

monster strength. She's so strong. So when my fiance moves here, let's have them arm wrestle. And then we'll see who's the stronger one who's going to be the first call. And then a furniture lifting competition after that. I got surgery last year. Tessa was helping me move some stuff in out of the house. And like the stuff I absolutely need somebody to help me with, she's just doing by herself.

I also have a small wingspan, but she really was helpful. Anyways, the table's great. I'm really proud of it. I love it. And your brother was great. And I just, I was like, I don't know how this drill works. And I went down the list of people I know. And my dad and my brother never, ever came to mind for one second.

And then your dad came to mind. But I was like, that would be weird if I called your dad. I never even face-tied with him. I texted your brother a photo. And I was like, I can't find these attachments. Yeah. And he FaceTime. I mean, it's surprising because my brother wouldn't be my first call.

It would be Rob. And I'm like, Rob might be hearing this right now and is upset. He didn't get the gig. Rob's her friend. He's a construction contractor. I put Rob on the phone with my contractors the other day. Yeah. I came downstairs in my kitchen.

He was walking around the shirt off. He was just like, I made a list of the stuff that you need to do at your house. We were in a group chat. There's four of us, me, Raina Taylor and Jackie. And I wasn't paying attention in the chat. We were like meeting up with Rob. We were like meeting up with Rob for dinner. And then I was like, I'm going to go to the bathroom.

And Raina goes, oh, were you taking a tit pick? And I was like, what? And I just kind of went about my way. And then I realized that in the chat, everyone had sent a picture of their tits. Well, Jackie was in bed covering her boobs. I've seen Jackie naked. Well, everyone has seen myself naked. Yes.

And I went to Catalina with her. And she never put a shirt on. Yeah. And then Taylor also. And then I took a whole boob out. and then I thought you were going to the bathroom to like send a tip. And I didn't see it. And I was like, oh, well, now I'm back at the table.

It's too late. So we made Rob. I show his nipples. I think you got off easy and I'm still waiting for your tip pick. I was like, I'll send both of mine. Okay. So you sent me this article. I'm excited for this because the article is New York Times dating predictions for

2025. And you and I have talked for years. Every year we pull our listeners like, what are your dating goals for the year or for the summer? And I think you and I have like a lot of research. research about like what dating trends have been over the last like seven years. I really have seen a shift just from our listeners reporting like what they're looking for, what they're willing to deal with and everything from like I want to get off the apps. I'm going to prioritize me to like this

year I'm just seeing a lot of like I don't want to date. Yeah. I'm all set. First of all, it was rude. We weren't included. Matthew Hussie was included. Esther Perel, obviously. This is how I saw the article was on her Instagram. Oh, right. Esther. Okay. Yeah, people, listen, we just should have been included. You know I have a love hate with New York Times. This is probably not going to help us get included, but this falls into the hate. Yeah. But I was going to see if you had any contributions just to kick it off. Contributions. Like what would you have said at the trends for 2025? I think this started in 2024. I think it will see us through into 2025. I mean, it's not a hot take that people are getting off dating apps. But I think people want activity-focused

ways to meet people. So I think people run clubs were so huge in 2024. Volunteering. Volunteering. Mountain biking, ew. But I think people are finding, finding people through hobbies and just saying yes to a lot of things more often than maybe just going to the dating app or out, which I believe in. And I think it's a means to an end, of course. But I'm seeing a lot of people prioritize their own happiness, I guess, if you're like, I'll join a run club. And hopefully I meet somebody that has my hobbies and interests.

Yeah. So that was one for me. I think women stop, like women stopping dating men. I mean, women dating women. I mean, every year it's more and more. I mean, and you just see it. Obviously, we talked about the 4B movement and just stopping dating altogether for straight women. But you hear women say this and then they really do it.

Like, they're really, like we see it at our shows all the time. I mean, when we would crowdsource emails, it happens all the time. I mean, women who just thought they were straight, dated men, their whole lives are like, I can't with them. And I'm going with girls. And they do that shit. A.I, of course, we'll talk about it. It's just like you can't ignore it. I just, we'll talk about AI. And then, you know, sex toys and pleasure. More prioritized than ever. I swear my friends, our friends have been asking for vibrators more. Like last night, Brooke was like, you got any fives only laying around. And I gave her the red raina sample that we kind of did redo because the buttons. I was like, this is fresh. No, I was like, this is legit. We just had to change one thing. No one's used it. And then Taylor, another friend who, she did something really great for me and I wanted to thank her. And so I gave her a Debbie. My favorite toy that we sell, it's our Air Pulse Vibrators for the big hole.

And she texted me, Ashley, this fucking Debbie has healed me of 2025. It's, I masturbate with that and I black out legitimately. Like if I want like a longer session, I don't use it. Yeah. So we talked about the new collection up top, but this is like a classic. and it is like the best suction vibe out there. Although Debbie and the Raina, it just depends on what you're different shapes. You know, Raina obviously has more uses, but the Debbie is like suction only and it's the absolute best. We want to unpack this New York Times dating trends article, but Bumble also did this study and I wanted to read you something from it. And of course Bumble, I mean, who doesn't have better research about what women are looking for.

And they did a whole trend. You guys can look it up. I would just Google Bumble's 2025 dating trend report. You guys can read the whole thing. There's lots of stats. But their 2024 trends saw singles rejecting the constant strive for perfection, discarding outdated timelines and placing more value on emotional vulnerability and shared values. So even like run clubs, things like that.

2025 is expected to be a transitional year with women very clear about what they want and need, what they are no longer willing to tolerate when it comes to dating and relationships. And I think never have we seen it be so prevalent the I am just not willing to tolerate this. ideal, whether it's, you know, maybe I'll try dating my own gender, maybe I'll stop dating. And we were talking about this with Tessa, and I want to have like a larger discussion, but like people just, women taking dating a little less seriously and being lighter about it, because they aren't being treated seriously. And, you know, the whole women in men's fields, you know, gets me all riled up because it's so

preposterous that women would ever behave the way men behave every single day to just disrespect you. And I think that, like, we've seen a breaking point where people are just like, you. If I'm not going to be taken seriously, I'm not going to take this seriously. I'm just going to be light for better or for worse, lighter about it. Yeah, I mean, while we're here, you know, before we dive into the New York Times article, we can talk about this and just the, what is it, date with me trend, kind of like a get ready with me and like putting your dating experiences out there on the internet, which that's,

people have mixed feelings on that, you know, like, if you want to talk about, like, I'm a TikToker or I'm an influencer and I'm going to go on these 10 dates and I'm going to bring you guys along on the journey. I mean, people are going to eat that up, you know, like you're doing the Lord's work. like it's real entertainment, but you have to wonder, like, are you going to find somebody that way? Because anyone, men and women, no one wants to be like part of a bit. You know, no one wants to feel like you're just playing games. But at the same time, I'm like, if that's how you feel you've always been treated and you're like,

this is how I'm going to do this to make it fun for me, then you are well within your right to do that. Totally. And we talked to Serena Kerrigan this summer about it. And she really started this whole, like, during COVID of dating like, how many date she gone? like 50 first dates or something. And yeah, however you feel like you can lighten up the experience and enjoy it, I really empower people to do that. Because, I mean, we've all been on those dates where you just come home and you just

fucking cry and you're just like, this is what's out there. Like, I will go back to my ex. I will go back to anything instead of having to do this ever again. And so if that is what makes it more enjoyable for you and you make a commitment to the internet, to your social media following and you're like, I will go on 20 days. I'm going to talk about it. Whatever makes it lighter and easier for you. And I think so many, I don't want to keep bragging on that.

I've had really wonderful experiences with men as of you. I've had great relationships with people that treated me wonderfully. But, you know, I think you had a breaking point when you have enough people say they're going to check in with you and they never do and say they're going to text you and they're not intentional. And then you're just like, well, I'm just going to talk about this then. And that's what comedy is. That's what podcasting is.

It's like you and I, I mean, how many times have we had like a bad experience and we get to walk on stage and talk about it? I mean, it's the most therapeutic thing in the entire world. Yeah. And if you are not a public person, you can do this within your friend group. I mean, Tessa was saying she just has seen more people gamifying dating because it's so unsurious. And it's like if it's like a thing in your friend group, you got a little like, I don't know,

Excel spreadsheet. Yeah. You do your PowerPoint nights, you know, like the people on the other end of that that are your dating don't have to know you're doing this. Also, who cares if they do? I'm just saying, like, if you're like, I don't feel comfortable putting it out there to the world. And, like, the guy that I go on a date with, then he looks me up on Instagram and sees that, like, I'm gamifying, dating to my following.

He might be turned off about it. Again, you do you. But you can do this amongst your friends and make it more fun that way and just feel supported. Like, I think that sounds fun as hell, like doing it as a group, like a fantasy football league or like a book club, but make it dating. I mean, you and I've seen this for a lot of years from our listeners. People just do it privately. they create PowerPoints, like shared PowerPoint presentations and shared Excel spreadsheets and they list out the guys they date or the women that they date and, you know, they write them or like,

what's the date like, what's the date like, and they make little notes. And like, like you said, it's the way to keep it private, but still funny and feel like you have community. I mean, there is nothing more fun than when somebody blows into brunch and they're like, I got a date story. Yeah. I mean, I just haven't been dating as much. I miss those stories. I know. So we like that, you know, do what you want. Who cares? Like, whatever makes it feel better for you. I would direct you guys back, especially if you're, you know, Argenzi listeners to Eli Rallo's episode. I loved everything she said. I love her so much.

She's engaged now. And I just love following her story. I don't think she was engaged when she came on. Again, Eli Rallo. And I just loved all her things about dating, like the way you hype yourself up and the way your mindset going into dating. And I think of her as someone like, I mean, I love her advice now as a 41-year-old woman, but especially if I was younger in my 20s and even 30s to kind of. to kind of the stuff that she said, which all kind of goes a line with this.

I think that was exactly one year ago. I think it was February. I think I was wearing the shirt. Oh, right. We were at Spotify. Yeah. We really have been all over the place. We really have.

I like how Tessa phrased it. It is so unserious. Like, I do think people's timelines have shipped it. And I don't think people are like barreling towards marriage and children by the time they're 25 as much as they used to be. I think people just have given themselves more time. But I think there's just been a pushback against bad behavior. And I think women are just like, if you're not going to take this seriously,

I can't take you seriously. And I'm going to do whatever I feel like doing. Amen. Okay. Can we go into the New York Times? Okay. Again, this was, they interviewed a bunch of experts. We'll cite all of them.

And Rayna and I can just ping pong them back and forth. But the first one in this article is the rise of the offline lover. And this is just basically that it's attractive, that someone is more grounded, steady, balanced down to earth and not really online. Like it says suggests that you haven't checked Instagram in months. You had me it logged off. And this was... Lakshmi, Renjerajan. I'm sorry. I'm going to butcher that. I'm trying my best.

She's the host of the podcast, The Later Dater Today. Okay. Yeah. So Lakshmi, I like this. And, you know, I do think that for years, the past few years, I feel like saying he doesn't have Instagram as a green flag. And we didn't used to really say that. Like, I was chatting with a friend the other day and she was talking about this guy. She started dating. And she was just saying, like, the pictures on his dating profile were so bad. And he put. It was on Instagram like once a year. I was like, Keeper. That sounds incredible to me. I used to think, we used to be like, that's a real red flag. They're liars. Now I'm like, I love it. Yeah.

And you might need to date a little older if that's what you want. Like, I think that, like, sometimes I'll be scrolling TikTok and I'll just see a guy being like, put in his fit online or like just talking about his day. And I'm like, I don't know. It's not a turn. It's certainly not a turn on for me. And I know that I'm hyper online. I put out, I put out two podcast episodes a week. I certainly think what I have to say is very important.

But I don't. I don't know. For me, somebody who's, this is a little hypocritical. I just don't love it. I would love a guy who's like, I love a guy who's not online. I'm hyper online.

You can be as hypocritical as you want. I would never date a man without tattoos. I have zero tattoos. I've said it before. Like, you can, whatever you prefer. Like, again, there's women can do stuff that they don't want their partner to do. You know, like women can do get ready with me's and post their outfits and their

selfies and not want their partner to do that. And that's okay. you know, like men can do stuff that might be more traditionally masculine. They don't want their female partner to do it. You know, like, I don't know. It's just like, I guess this is really gendered, but it's just, that's okay. Like, you can be like, I do this, but I don't want you to. That's fine.

But I also think it's fine. I mean, we know guys who post a ton. And that's, I mean, you know, I'm thinking of guy friends. They're great guys. They post a ton and their partners like it and they get a lot of dates. And it's just one of those things of like we get both sides of it. The offline thing is like really gain some steam. I think you just find people where you're at, you know,

You know, like, I know you're talking about it, but we have a guy friend. He's hyper online and his wife likes it. And that's how they are together. And it seems like a fun thing to do together. And I have dialed back how much I share over the last couple years and how much I put out on Instagram stories. And I am just trying to be a little more private. And I'd like to be with somebody that's a little more private too that doesn't think, like, let me film this every second. Yes.

And I just at this age, not for me. Mm-hmm. So I'd like to find an old man, 41. Plus. Also, I don't think we said the actual name of this article. It is platonic romances and AI clones 2025 dating predictions. Oh, yeah, we definitely did not. Ten experts share what they think will happen in the world of dating relationships and romance in the New Year. So if you guys are looking for it, it came out on January 3rd. Okay, so the next one is non-monogamy and perimenopausal pride. We've talked about non-monogamy at length. I don't know that we need to dive into that,

but I feel really passionate about this perimenopause type stuff. And, you know, that's going to hit for me, I don't know, in the next five-ish years. And no one is talking about this. Caroline Bedino mentioned it. We had her on recently. She's in her 50s. And, you know, this is something that happens to women years before they hit menopause. And it really can take over your life. And this article says, I think some women, specifically moms and perimenopause will start to vocalize their profound disinterest in sex and the disappearance of their libido without shame or apologies, but with frankness, maybe even with humor and ideally self-acceptance. Alyssa Shalasky, the editor, of sex diaries at the cut. Oh, we love sex diaries. And I want to do an episode of this,

but we can kind of move on for now. But one thing I found, this was on the cut, and this was an article. Someone was doing research into perimenopause. And she said, the head of the Menopause Society told me that there has not been a single comprehensive medical study on perimenopausal women. Literally nothing, I asked her repeating her words back. She said nothing. And this can really fuck with you. I mean, like in terms of your sex drive and your hormones all over the place and you can gain weight in your belly is something that happens to a lot of women. And we've never really been told about it. There just isn't that much information about women's bodies and what happens to them.

There's not that much research about it. I could talk about this forever. It's like we create life. And yet there is such little information out there about what we go through. I never heard a perimenopause in my entire life. I never heard my mom discuss it. Like we all have moms. I never heard my mom talk about it.

Yeah. I mean, no shit. When your body starts changing, you are getting hot flashes. You have crazy hormones. You don't feel as sexy as you used to. You have some belly fat. Yeah, you don't want to fuck your husband. Right.

Or your boyfriend or your girlfriend, whatever. But like, yeah, no shit. I've never heard this in my whole life. I know. Like, I just, I texted my mom. Like, when did you go through this? Most things that have happened to me have been pretty in line with my mom. When it comes to just like menstrual, hormonal aging, everything, you know.

And she was like, oh, I think like 47. You know, it's just like, oh, my God. I feel like I'm just like counting down already. like staring on the barrel of a gun. But I like that people were talking about this. I never heard this word before. And like so much of women's sex drive relates to, how did your day go? How's work going?

How do you feel about yourself? You know, what's going on in my house right now? And so I think it's great to be like, I don't feel like being sexy right now. Yeah. So anyway, I see a full episode in the future. Yeah. The non-monogamy thing is interesting. I mean, I think it also goes into Tess's like it's not so serious.

It's like, well, if you don't want to be in a commitment to relationship with me, I'm going to be fucking. And I wasn't dismissing it. I'm just like, I think we've covered it a lot. Yeah. And we had the founder of field dating app on. And yeah, people have been out here. People have been out here.

And I think because people's timelines are longer today, it's just there's no rush to be in like a long-term monogamous relationship. So the next thing says fewer dates and more hookups. And it comes from Anwar White, a dating and relationship coach. It says when President Trump comes into office, I think dating is going to take a hit because the economy is. going to change. Inflation is going to continue things that are going to become more expensive. It might take some time, but it means people are going to tighten up their wallets. Men are not going to be taking women out as they used to. This is a bit more heteronormative prediction, but you can relate it to all kinds of pairings. There's going to be less discretionary income, which means that there's

going to be less of a dating culture and more of a hookup culture. So this is just economical. I mean, this is just proof no matter who's in power the way that the economy is. I obviously think the world is going to change drastically. We can talk a little about it a little bit more about this, the politics stuff came up with our audience in this article as well. But just with the economy in general, like, there's a direct correlation to how much people spend. Yeah, I think that any election cycle is tumultuous. A lot of things happen in, like, the markets and people can't predict their life.

And this has just been, I mean, every hour there's just like a new thing happening in the administration. Yeah. We saw this thing on Instagram was like a video from Wolf of Wall Street, the clip where they're on his yacht and they're getting like crushed by the tsunami every second. Tsunami. Waves. They're going to cry by waves.

storm and what was the quote how do they write it like just dealing with like the decisions of this administration this january just deal with um i think it's hard to think about dating on top of it you're like there's so much change so much is happening in the in the world politically like do i want to go talk to a stranger yeah i don't know what they think and feel i don't want to be insulted i don't want to get into this conversation right i don't know how you don't talk about this on a date and i'm thinking about that a lot because i have a matchmaker and i have amy chan that i'm worried with I think about like going on dates with people and I'm like, I don't really need this to come up. I don't need to talk about this continuously on like a first date.

But then I'm like, well, if it doesn't come up, how is that going to go? But when it comes up and you're aligned, oh. Oh, my God. That feel, that rush of a hot liberal man. Oh, my. And you don't, you're not sure. When you're not sure and they hit you with it. The conservative.

Yes. But when they come out of nowhere. Oh, my gosh. You're like, I have to go to the bathroom. Well, then we'll just go right into this, and we can skip the other one or we can circle back to it. I hate to skip that one because it's Esther Borel. But it says less dating across party lines. And this is Hannah Orrinstein.

I think she's actually interviewed us before. I think so. I recognize the name. She's an editor at Bustle and the author of Meant to be Mine. And this came up with our audience, too, overwhelmingly. But she writes, as a new presidential administration takes power. Political views will be make or break for many singles, especially among straight people. women aged 18 to 29 favored Kamala Harris by 38 points while men in the same age group preferred

Trump by 13 points, 51 point difference from reproductive rights to men feeling disillusioned about their prospects for success. So much this election revolved around gender, there's no way that won't impact dating. And then she says already some conservative men are hiding or downplaying their views in order to appeal to women, which we've always said that. And such a question we always got was like, does moderate just mean conservative? And they're just trying to, Tessa is nodding, like, it's about to fall off from the corner. It doesn't mean they just want to be able to date women since more women skew liberal. As long as they're open to learning, hearing, changing,

I don't want you to lie to me. I mean, if you genuinely mean, like, I am moderate, but I am open to other views. Oh, if you're moderate. If I'm really actually moderate. If a person I'm going on a date with is really actually. But they're like, I'm open to other ideas. Who'd you vote for?

Yeah. I mean, listen, this country is going to change drastically. Right. So that's the plan. This is not, this is just the plan of the president. Right. So that's the project. Yeah. So people are going to feel one way or the other. If you are liking the direction, the country is going in, you feel passionately about it. You cannot date someone who is resisting that. That's not going to work. I think there are people out there that just don't care. And that's, they can date people in their same mindset or someone that's more passionate. But like, if you were a progressive woman, for example, who cares about women's rights, bodily autonomy, LGBT rights, immigrants, democracy, the climate, et cetera. You cannot date a man who's MAGA or who doesn't care about that. It's not going to work. And that's overwhelmingly what our audience said. Yeah. And you and I have been doing this podcast through multiple administrations and during the last time Donald Trump was president, we got so many messages that said, like, I don't know if I can date my

partner if they voted differently than me or if they're, you know, a long different party lines. and we heard that for four years. And then that kind of stopped, at least with our listenership, when Joe Biden became the president. And I felt like things kind of calmed down. We didn't really get those type of messages anymore. Like, I don't know if I can date my partner, if they voted for somebody else. And this feels like the things that are happening in this country now are so inflammatory. They're so much more inflammatory than they ever were.

I mean, if somebody that is not affected by this, this doesn't make them upset, somebody that's not inflamed by this. I'm just like, I don't know. You know, how much damage can be done in four years? maybe we can be friends, we can't date. And I don't even know. Like you said, I'm struggling with friends. So we can't date. This is not he voted for Mitt Romney.

He's a Bush guy. You know, like it's different now. Yeah. There's no denying that. All right. So expecting more from apps. Esther Peral, she is just, that's my mom. She's psychotherapist.

She's the host of podcast, where should I begin? She's been on our show several times. She's had our expectations for life partners at an all-time high. This is really somebody she talks about all the time. But she said, I predict in the year ahead, people will expect apps to deliver greater connections in real life. Dating bears a disturbing resemblance to the hiring process to remain useful.

The best apps will elicit playfulness, spontaneity, and curiosity. Dating has become too isolated from the rest of our lives. And I predict the daters will seek ways to integrate dating into existing circles instead. Can you interpret that? Yeah, I mean, I think, I don't know why I couldn't really grasp it.

So she's saying, like, they're asking apps to just, like, facilitate a better environment. And Hinge has been a long-kind sponsor this podcast and I do think they do a good job. This is not like they didn't sponsor this. I just, I think they do a good job of like sparking conversation and trying to like build a deeper meeting or playfulness.

I don't, I don't know what I'm seeing on apps. It could be all that different at this point. Well, now I'm kind of remembering what she said in our podcast. And if you guys have not listened to our Esther Perel episodes, oh my God, what are you doing? Stop right now. Fuck this episode.

Go listen. No, I'm just kidding. June of 2021 and the summer of 2023. Okay. Maybe July. Yeah. So in the summer of 2020 three episode, she mentioned the integrating dating into your existing circles instead and like bringing someone out with your friends, you know, and like having them

not be this like isolated job interview, just being like, hey, come meet up. Here's where I'll be. And we even talked about it on an episode with Jared where it's like it's almost manufacturing that organic meeting in the wild. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I like that. All right. Well, let's thank her last couple partners, and then we'll round out this list.

Okay, Raina, let me ask you a question. How would you feel if you lost your libido? My sex drive. Is that like a serious question? I'd never recover. I know, right? Well, the fact is millions of premenopausal women are frustrated because they lost their libido.

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Addie. That is A-D-D-D-Y.com. And you know, I have been raving about all my skims, bras and underwear since I got them. My entire drawer is filled with it. There's tons of shoes from, and of course they have. great lingerie and loungeware, but I love the fits everybody collection. So they have great boy shorts, which I wear around the house, T-shirt bras and plunge bras. I love the T-shirt bra. It's an Underwire bra. And I like to sleep in a bra. I mean, I have bigger boobs. And I really attribute, like,

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looking for the perfect gift for your Valentine or for yourself, Skims just launched their best Valentine's shop ever, available in sizes for women, men, and kids. Okay, can I tell you my favorite one? What? Parent-funded dating app subscription. I laughed out loud when I saw this. So Nandini Malaghi, a matchmaker and co-founder of Sitch, which is a dating concierge app, says, I predict parents paying for their child's dating services.

We've had moms DM us. So, okay, she's talking about it from like a matchmaker point of view. But we've had moms DM us or fill up profiles for their children. because of that, we're actually allowing parents or grandparents to purchase setups as gifts. That's pretty much it. And like, I just think it's so funny to, like, have your parents be harassing you. Like, when are you going to meet someone? When are you going to settle down?

It's like, you pay for it. So, listen, every time on the phone with my dad, he's just like, do many dates lately. I was on the phone with him there. I was crying. I was just like, all I did was crying was crying in January. But we're leaving that in January. I was on the phone with him. And he's like, how are you?

And I was like, how are you? And I was like, how are you going to any dates? And I was like, do I see? seem like I am in a mental state to go on. Would you want to go on a date with me right now? Do you want to be on the phone with me right now? That's so funny. Why? A stranger is going to deal with this? Oh my God. It's like, have you not been listening? Right. I just, he keeps just being like, well, you just got to, you know, keep on, keep it on. And I'm like, this is not helpful. This is antagonistic to me. Is what he's really saying, like, you need to get laid.

Do you think that's the underlying thing? Like, do you think that's? Maybe he's just like, you're bumming me out and I would like you to find someone else to talk to about this. He's like, I have limited number of days left on this earth. I'm 78, and I'd like to enjoy it. I just think it's really funny. If your parents are breathing down your neck, they need to pay for that premium subscription. Totally. Get you all those roses.

Get your premium riah. Whatever. Your matchmakers are expensive. You pay for it. When am I going to get grandkids? It's like that book the flight. I'll go right now. It's like you handle it then.

Yeah, you take care of it. You're retired. Let's go right now. Write this profile. You're going to die soon. You can't take that money with you. you write this profile. I mean, I am thinking of how broke I was in my early mid-20s. Like, I think I would ask my mom to help out and I think she would have loved to do it. You think

she would have been a part of it though. She was like, Ashley, I need to be involved in this. No, I just think that's really funny. And if you guys are listening and your parents are paying for your dating apps, please let us know. I'm loving this. Like, leave a comment on YouTube. I just, it's so true, like, how many of us dread going home for like holidays and family visits because everybody's like, so are you dating anybody? And like, you. can just be like, if you care so much, put your money where your mouth is. Well, but if your parents pay your phone bill, they're like, I already pay for you to do it. It just depends on how your setup is because it depends on if your credit card is in there.

Because if you pay with, okay, if you pay with Apple pay for an app, then that's your credit card, I think, unless you use your parents' credit card. But like, some stuff, if it goes on the phone bill, your parents are paying. Like, I don't know, right? It just depends on what you got going on. I think Apple, you put a credit card in for all Apple payment. And that's separate than the phone bill. I'm pretty sure.

Because I'm just saying, like, parents seem like, oh, we're already paying for this. Okay. Prioritizing Platonic Romance. So I think this is just like it says whether it's hot yoga or Pilates, pasta making, girls trips, movie dates, basically just like women are opting out of dating boys and going out with the girls. This is Lauren Napier, a beauty and lifestyle expert and the founder of the spinster, a lifestyle brand.

I love that, the spinster. And I is a one. I think this is how we live our life. There's nothing new. I forget who we were talking to, and you have to remind me if this was on the podcast, but we were talking to somebody about, like, when you say, like, I really want to date and somebody says, well, why? And it's like, well, I want companionship. It's like, well, why? Because I want to be with people. And it's like, but the answer to that could be this, right? Like,

so many people want to date because you want people around. You want somebody to do activities with. You just don't want to feel so alone in this world. It's, we all are better when we feel less alone in this world. But, like, this can be the answer to it. Like, just schedule a lot of classes, a lot of dates with friends, potlucks. I mean, nobody's better at it than you are of like, I have nothing going on, let's plan a trip. Let's book a reservation. Let's do a class.

I mean, if it wasn't for you, I'd have no social life. Oh, thanks. I mean, you're just, you're always the one that's like driving towards like, let's make a plan this week. And those things fill your cup. And you can do stuff that's very, quote, unquote, date like with your girlfriend or with whoever, you know, your guy friend, your gay friend, your sister. you know, a lot of times you can just bring your dog.

It's just kind of you don't need a partner to do those things. We've always just said this. It really fills my cup to just have one social interaction per day. And like I have like one meaningful. Yeah, like I'll, I meet a friend. I meet a list at the farmer's market all the time on Saturdays. And it's 30 minutes. We just like get a coffee.

We sit by the water. We hang out. I get like my shit there and then I go home. But like to have that meaningful interaction with somebody that I care about and then I can go about my day. And I feel like I've done something with another person you feel less like lonely. And so many of us do just want to date because I'm, we feel alone. And if you can fill your time with something else, then it might even just open you up

to wanting to date or you might be like, I don't need this at all. I also love that you do more like micro hangs. I think like not everything needs to be a orchestrated night out or a brunch reservation. Like it can be a 30 minute coffee and a chat, you know, a little yap sash. It can be a walk. I think you're really good about that. And sometimes it impromptu happens. You're like, I took a walk with this person. Well, Jackie shows up in my house straight. Yeah. Jackie's just like, I have your, I have your location. I know you're in there. No, you just show up at your friend's house.

I'm ready to yap. I just think it doesn't need to be like a three-hour time commitment. It can be in the middle of your day. I mean, I remember this one time Alyssa did. This was like when we first became friends with those girls. And it was like a Tuesday or Wednesday. She was like, who wants to come over to the pool? Just an hour.

I mean, everybody had to get back to work. Like, it was a nice warm day. Obviously in West Hollywood, it was probably 50 degrees over on the west side. And we went over there and just in the middle of the day. I mean, some of us had to like do stuff. on our phone for work, but just being with your girlfriends and, like, you know, get a little vitamin D. I was like, that was therapy. You and I also always invite friends to just, like, sit with us at Soho House, and it doesn't have to be that. But, like, if you just go work somewhere

at a workspace and invite a friend just sit near you. I know. I did that with Taylor. Like, we both, we went and went to zinc and just worked. And, like, we caught up for a little bit. We ordered coffees. And then we sat there and headphones in and worked. And I was like, I like, I like this. Yeah. It's my favorite thing to do. Jackie and I were there earlier in the day. But I do like working in, I like going out of the house and working and it's just, it feels it out of the house. I just, I don't need like a three-hour dinner all the time. Right.

I have been really good with the dinner reservations lately. Oh, right. You've been crushing it. Thank you. Thank you. We had an amazing. One hungry Jew. It was back, baby.

We went to a great new Indian restaurant for tour, right? Vitoria. Yeah, let's hype these places. And at Santa Monica. I mean, some of the best Indian food I've ever had in a gorgeous restaurant, one of the most beautiful bars. And then literally directly across the street, Orla, which is a Michael Mina restaurant. It says it's Egyptian, but like very approachable, just Mediterranean.

We had shwarma, we had hummus. I mean, it was so gorgeous and delicious. And Raino will probably never go back. And I will be there every week. I like to go to the same places and you always want to go to somewhere new. Like I love going back to places. I like going to places all the time. They feel like home.

But Fitor is going to be a go-to. These are also really close to where I live. But that was, like, sometimes people try to do elevated anything, elevated Indian, Asian, whatever it is. And it feels too try hard. and like, what's the word? Too fancy. It's like too much going on. And this was like elevated but so good.

That chicken shwerma was one of the best dishes I've ever had. I think about it every day. And then we went to Mel's Diner this weekend, which I was like, let me just toss this out to you guys. Because it's a little touristy. The one on Sonset Boulevard in West Hollywood is like, I mean, it looks like a movie set. It's like a true like 50s diner. And there's one in Santa Monica. And I was like, just trust me, you guys.

It's really good. I could take out from there. It's good. Well, we were going to go to somewhere else and I checked the AQI and I was like, nope, air quality is above 50. I'm not going into our outdoor. We got to sit inside. And you guys were like, yeah, we do. I have a diner for you.

It was so good. It's a vibe. Yeah, it's really fun. Okay, AI, Matthew Husty entered the chat and he said that many men will continue to struggle, period, just kidding, to find their feet in dating as they come across women who are financially better off, higher earners with bigger job titles. Women will increasingly find themselves intimidating men who are disconnected. He says, in quotes, intimidating men who are disconnected from their value in the marketplace. This is also stuff Scott Galloway talks about. It says AI will become your ultimate wingman.

More people will be using AI to write their profiles, edit photos, and write entire dialogues for them on dating apps. Some will even use AI clones to do the whole thing for them. What in the black mirror is that? What do you mean? Do you know what that means? I don't know. Others will use AI dating coaches to practice chats before a date, help them come up with conversation topics and suggest pre-planned date ideas in their cities. And that's Matthew Hussie.

He's been on the podcast three times now. three times. I mean, we have the same hairdresser. Mary Kate O'Connor. I'm obsessed with her. Benjamin's salon. I love her. I think it's really interesting and you might,

you're not you, but the plural you initially might be like, oh my God, that's like so try hard with AI. But like I think that we've talked about this before. Like if you really want a partner, why should we not put as much energy and resources into dating and finding a partner as you would to finding a job?

And like, if you're like, I'm not good on dates and I don't know how to like have small talk and ask questions. Like if AI is going to help you to like coach you, and like pitch you conversation topics. Like how many times you've just been on a date with somebody? You're like, they can't fucking talk. They have nothing to say.

But like that doesn't mean that there are idiots and they have nothing to say. It's just dating is uncomfortable. It makes people nervous. You reframe that for me a little bit, which I appreciate. I think that, yes, like practicing for a date questions, like if you're not a great conversationalist, I guess I think like it feels risky to rely on AI to lure someone in and then they have to meet the real you. You know, like you're chatting with someone's AI version, their AI bot, and then you meet

them and they're nothing like that person. So yes, I guess you can look at this different ways. I think we benefit a lot from AI and also think there's a lot of risks associated with it. But to your point, I do like that. Like, I love the thought of a man, for example, because they're the ones that don't ask questions on dates typically to be like, what should I ask on a date? I feel like some of people could look at that and be like, oh, my God, that's so cringe. I think it's cute. I mean, it can be both, right? It is a little cringe, but it's like, I think admitting, like, this is my pitfall and I'm not good at this. And that's, and that's, and let me find resources to be better at it is great.

And, like, I think the dating app conversations are so weird and awkward and uncomfortable. They just are. And if somebody wants to, like, chat GPT, like, this girl said this thing to me and what's a great response back? Like, what's the harm in it? I guess. I think it's just, like, make sure it feels aligned with something you would say. Totally.

Because then, again, it's just you're being catfished. So he said something else that I want to say I think I've seen as a trend. So women will increasingly find themselves, quick. unquote intimidating men who are disconnected from their value in the marketplace, meaning more and more women make more money, they're more successful. They are in positions of power and it is quote unquote intimidating to men. But I think when we started the podcast and for a few years, we would get more messages and say like, do men feel intimidated by my money, my job, my success?

And I think I just see it less and less. And I think instead of women worrying that it is intimidating men, I think women are like, if this intimidates you, I find that unattractive. Yeah. And it's weird because it's. It's like you want to say not everything's political, but then again, everything actually is. And so it's just like the men that feel that way and women are taking their jobs and women are getting too powerful and they don't have any value anymore voted a certain type of way. And the men that feel comfortable with a woman in power voted for a woman to be in power.

And so I think it's also a filter there, you know? I think you and I've seen a real evolution. Like people used to ask us all the time. Like do you worry that this podcast and your success is going to stop? from dating people and I, a part of me did always worry that. And now there is nothing more attractive to me than somebody that thinks that what we do and our success is so sexy. And there is nothing less attractive to me than somebody that is intimidated by that, that's put off by that. I just, I don't find it attractive and I don't even worry for one second that it's going to

bother somebody. Because if it bothers you, I'm much hard to you. You're not for me. Yeah. And I really have seen a shift in that and so many women being like, yeah, I do make more money than my male counterparts. Yeah, I am more successful. And that's sexy to me. And if you can't fit in to that, then I would rather just be alone. And we have had lots of discussions about this over the years of like, it's not about sometimes the money or the job. It's like how you interact with the person. Like, yeah, I can see a world in which a man, for example, is like, okay, she makes all this money and she's super successful and she's a real ballbuster and she makes me feel emasculated. And she may, you know, it's like, but that doesn't have to be the way it is. It's like you can also be a woman who

makes more, is more successful, and treats your partner with a lot of respect, lets him do his thing, looks up to him, feels inspired by him, like, lets him handle some of the more masculine things and doesn't ever make them feel like. Totally. I don't know. It's just it's a way that the relationship works and how you treat people. It is a weird stereotype of like, if this, then that. If I make more money than him, then I'm going emasculate him. It's like not really. And how many people have I known? They don't work. They're a mother. And they completely emasculate their husbands. And it's not linked to how much money you make. That's so true. Yeah. I think of on love is blind. Nick and Hannah didn't even

have a job. I mean, I guess she did better than him in the world, but not by much. She was like, what are you contributing, Nick? What are you doing to pay the bills? Nick? She didn't have a job. She was unemployed. I've never seen somebody who's base. on a man so hard. So yeah, it doesn't matter. You can treat men like shit if you're broke. Yeah. I mean, honestly, like the meanest girl I ever met, I grew up with her.

I would watch her just read circles read her husband. I don't even think she even had a job ever, not for one day in her life. She didn't need a job or money to treat men like shit. Okay. The next one is long distance will be more popular. So I'm off trend now. And it's just what it is. I mean, it was Steph Dag, a stand-up comedian, the host of the hot and single, a digital dating show.

I like what she said. She says, people in coastal cities kind of like having the freedom of their own lives and the sexiness of a Parisian crush who they can text all day. She puts in prethesis my only will to live. Phone calls will have a message resurgence because everyone is getting hand cramps for textinitis and phone sex is actually better than sex in the physical realm. I think technology, it's easier than ever to do it. So why not look outside your city? Like, that's really it. It's like, why not?

I did it. You've done it. We can't hype it enough. It's just you don't have to date people in your 10-mile radius. I mean, I've done a lot of long-distance relationships. I think there's a lot to be said about anticipation and that, like, newness being prolonged as much as possible and long-phone conversations. I mean, I've just had multiple long-distance relationships with men where, like, I will have three-hour phone calls with them. And that's really intimate and special.

And you can't just, like, watch a TV show and disassociate. And having multiple people, like having all your bros in different area codes. I mean, like she says, this Parisian crush, you know, just someone to like text and flirt with. We have a friend that has all these lovers. Lovers in so many different countries. I mean, it's a low key about it. She's like, I'm in Tokyo this week. I have a lover there.

It's 25. The Tokyo lover is my name. It came out of nowhere. He was like 23 or something. She's 40. Love her. Okay. And then last but not least, setting up friends on dates.

So that comes from Maxine Williams, the founder of We Met IRL. It's a speed dating event in New York City. She said she thinks 2025 will be a big year for learning leaning more into community, mutual friends, and social networks for dating. She brings in obviously political and societal changes. I predict that stability and deeper connections will become central and romantic relationships. I see lots of potential for bringing back blind dates and people relying more on real-life vetting before going on dates. I'm also seeing a rise in like matchmakers and things like that. And people just want to date within their community, you know?

Or they just want to be vetted. I mean, more than ever. Yes. Is he MAGA? I'm just, I mean, that's what it came up. Like, you want to know. Or, I mean, I guess if you're on the other side of it, you know, is he a liberal? You know, I don't know.

I think people really feel like that too. I think that like MAGA women rather die than date a liberal man. So, I mean, I get it. I'm not personally, but. No, I mean, I don't know. Is he a fuck boy? Like, what's, is he run around the city? You know, just ghosting women left or right.

I mean, people just want to be vetted. I mean, and everybody wants to set someone up. And Tessa mentioned this earlier. We were talking to her before we started recording about the gamifying and the taking it not so seriously and kind of passing someone on. And I mentioned this very early on where I went on a date with a guy who I really thought was great and he just wasn't a love match and I thought he would really vibe with Meryl.

And I set them up and they ended up going out and it didn't really work out. But I'm all about that life. He did a guy when I was saying. Oh, yeah, exactly. Just sent me a voice note. A voice note? Oh my God, I can't wait. I don't know what it says.

Yeah, right? We talked about on the podcast, didn't we? Yeah. Yeah. So it's just, oh, we did a whole episode. Did your friend's ex? You did your friend's ex. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And we talked about it on a more casual level of like, if someone's not a match for you, but they might be a match for your friend and then they're pre-vetted. Yeah. I just, I love when somebody can just say to you, like, just give me three sentences about them, you know? Like, are they a piece of shit?

What do they date like? What's their attitudes like? I dated a guy in the spring that one of my close friends, Lindsay, was like close with. And she was just like, I've always wanted you guys to date. I think he's great. And just like a nice soft intro. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. And then if they aren't who your friend said they were, that's their fault. Then you have somebody to blame. Yeah. You have somebody to blame. Yeah. Maybe you like conflict. You don't have to blame yourself.

Yeah. It's their fault. Maybe you want to practice conflict. That's really nice. Fight with your friends. Practice fighting. Okay. I just have a few from our audience.

We asked our audience, do you see any dating trend predictions for 2025? Again, we've kind of mentioned this throughout. A lot of it was like the political stuff. But here it might be my personal favorite. She writes, I feel like guys might be more emotionally available. I know, call me crazy. Oh, this year. The fact that she wrote in like an asterisk, I know, call me crazy.

I'm to Lulu. I mean, I am seeing it. Even on the dates I've gone on. I mean, I think that. it's a little bit of an overcorrection. I mean, I've gone into these men. They just want to share all their feelings and thoughts. And you're like, okay, do less.

But I don't want to shit on them because I do think they're trying. And I think that, like, a lot of men, this is like a first swing at it for them. Being a little more emotionally available. The first swing. I like men getting vasectomy so they can brag about being snipped on the apps. That's great, you know, with the current climate. And then I'll read one more that I really liked. She said, honestly, and I know it's cringe, but wellness dates, cold plunges,

sauna gym and then food. And I love that. I love that. I mean, that goes with the whole, like, just do, be with people to do your hobbies. And if like that, that date would be a nightmare for me, a cult plunge. For me. Yeah. But if you find a person that likes that, then that's great. I mean, a lot of our audience just said less, less dating. More speed dating, less dating apps. A lot of speed dating, which Tesla goes to speed dating events. I think if you meet someone speed dating, I think it's great. But I think if you also do that and feel really discouraged, you're not alone. You know what I mean? Like I just, I hear people being like, that was, I hated that. And then I've heard people be like, that was fun. You got to be really in a good

place mentally to go to speedy dating. Here's what I think. If I were to guess, I don't think too many couples are coming out of the speed dating, but I think it's amazing practice. Like, I think you need to pat yourself in the back. That is like running uphill. I mean, you are practicing, you are training. And so I think if you go into with that mindset, because I just don't, I've never heard of a relationship coming out of it literally not once. Never, of all the people we've ever asked, how did you meet? Never once with speed dating.

But like, that's your training. In dating, like, you got to remove some of the choices. And when you're in a room full of competition, I don't know that that brings out the best in people. I think it makes women specifically feel insecure. It's intimidating. But if you can cut your teeth on it, if you're having a good day, I would say.

Yeah. Like, I think that's another thing. Go with your friend and just make light of it and practice your flirting. Make sure she's less hot than you, you know. Like, where else can you go practice, flirting in a bunch, what did you say? Make sure she's less hot than you. Rain and I could never go together because we're equal.

Nobody wants me. One person wants you. Stop it. That was so mean. No, everybody wants me. We're equally hot. Yeah. Okay.

Someone wrote less dating, more patating. What is that mean? And then in parentheses... Couch serving potatoes. No, that's funny. And then in parentheses, making potato-based dishes. I'm obsessed. We're going to end it there.

Less than any more potatoing. And I want to know what dishes. Like fries, roasted, o'grotten, mashed. Grill, shrimp, fry shrimp. I will say this episode, it really made me reflect just on how many years we've done this show and, like, the evolution of our listeners and what women have accepted and what they longer except and what they prioritize. And we do this every year. I've seen more of an evolution from like, you know, I want more men that are this, that to like, I just want to prioritize me. And I think

that that is like the trend of just like demanding to be treated better. And I think it is making men better too. And I think they are trying. But it's just, it's been really interesting to watch this for the better part of a decade. Totally. And, you know, a lot of the same every year. And we really always love your input, but a lot of different too, you know, especially 2021. Spit in my mouth. Yes. I started that trend too. Hortiest out of COVID here. And this year, yeah, I mean, one of them says, let's just all be more gay. Let's. But yeah, so we appreciate you guys weighing in, as always. Yeah. Well, the next time you guys see us in clips and on YouTube, we will be in our new studio. And if you're new here, great to have you. If you've been here all this time,

happy to keep having you. Yes, vibes only.com. Get those. You really held that for the whole time. This is my emotional support cockering. So get the emotional support cockering and the Lucy Love Kid, the raspberry cream, suck and bojo while it last, all of that. And of course, all the toys, the Debbie that's going to fix your 2025.5 at vibes only.com. Girls Gotta eat.com. Girls Got to eat podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I'm Ash Hess. Raina is ranna.org. Subscribe on YouTube and share this episode with a friend. and we will see you Thursday.

Have a good couple days, guys. Go birds.