Girls Gotta Eat - A Simple Practice That Could Change Your Life with Gabby Bernstein

Episode Date: April 7, 2025

The key to manifesting may not be what you think it is, and we have one of the OGs in the spiritual space, Gabby Bernstein, to talk about it. She just released her tenth book, Self Help, and shares her simple four-step practice that can help you turn inward, heal, and manifest the life you want for yourself. We talk about limiting beliefs and the stories we tell ourselves ("I'm not good enough", "If I don't do it, no one else will", "I'm the only single one"), how the wellness space has changed in the last 20 years, the issue she sees the most in couples, and who she wants to set Rayna up with. Before Gabby joins us, we catch up on recent travels, Ashley starting her tour, and a situation Rayna had with a guy (including our fave text of the year so far). Enjoy! Follow Gabby on Instagram @gabbybernstein, listen to her podcast Dear Gabby, get her latest book Self Help, and check out her website for more. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for more. Thank you to our partners this week: Trade Coffee: Get 40% off your first order at https://drinktrade.com/eat. Rocket Money: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions at https://rocketmoney.com/gge. Betterhelp: Get 10% off your first month at https://betterhelp.com/gge. Article: Get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at http://article.com/gge. Nutrafol: Get $10 off any order and free shipping when you subscribe at https://nutrafol.com with code GGEGIFT. Booking.com: Win $1000 of Booking.com travel credit by entering their sweepstakes on Instagram @bookingcom. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you make the commitment to do one minute a day these four steps, you will change your life, period. This podcast is a dear media production. Hi guys. Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome back. Okay, I've a very funny week. We both have big weeks coming up.

Coming up. Yeah. We will both have been back as this episode starts. But I just got back from L.A. five minutes ago. Yeah. A couple days ago, right after this recording in one hour, I have to go to Mexico. You have to go to Mexico City. I'm going with Emily and my friend Melanie.

And I'm flying straight from Mexico to Vegas for our birthday for 24 hours in Vegas. I love it. I'm very excited. We're doing dinner. Aziz Ansari. Club. Maybe chain smokers. Club?

Another bus? Yes. Another bus. So yeah, it's a whirlwind. You can't come to Vegas. Maybe because you are starting your tour. I am starting my tour. It will have been started.

But as we speak, I'm like getting ready to start it this weekend. in Chicago. I'll have just gotten back from Chicago as you guys are listening. Three incredible sold-out shows at the Den Theater. Congratulations. Thanks. It's all downhill from here. No kidding. I just really started it with like one of my favorite theaters. But no, I am so, so excited. And we'll talk about it a little bit more when we talk about our New York trip. But you know, I'm just going to say it this weekend, Phoenix, Raina's going to be there. Yeah. You've been like teasing this like big guess. Don't you? You've been like to be. think that it's not me.

Yes. Someone just said. You guys, who would it be? Someone asked if it was Sparkalize, my fiancee. Who's bigger than me? And I said even better. So one of the DMs was like, is your fiancee the special guest for Phoenix? I was like, no, even better.

I think I said it was you. I was like, I'll tell her. Well, I'll be there. So I'm excited. We're taking a little girly trip to Arizona. Guys, Rain has just been itching and get on stage. And I was like, come to Phoenix. My stories right now are insane.

Yeah. So she's going to, she's hosting the show. I'm excited. Honestly, Ashley said I'm going to blow the light. I am. Like, I have so much to say. People even know what that means. So as like, when you're a comedian, you say like, I'll do like a 12 minute set and they light you so they know when to wrap it up.

They'll light you light. There's a light at the top of the. It's a wrap up light. Yeah. And if you blow the light, it's, you know, it's a whole thing. Some comedians, they do it all the time. You know, it's disrespectful. People don't like it.

People don't like it. I have a lot to say. We're going to be doing a light at my wedding for people's speeches. Wrap it up. Wrap it up. I don't even know who's giving speeches at your wedding. Not a lot of people. Have you decided?

Yeah. You want to tell me? They don't even know. I don't know. Mostly, we're going to do some speeches on Friday night in costume. You got to break them up. Yeah. But at the wedding, we'll talk about it.

And you're not giving a speech because your speech is the officiating. Okay. So I'll get my speech while I'm up there. Yeah, you'll do your thing up there. Okay, great. You don't need the mic again. Okay, great. I'll get my speech up there.

I've been like picking out my outfits. I'm very excited. For my wedding? Yeah. What do you mean? Oh, to officiates. because we got to get all your Indian stuff. I'll help you with that.

Oh, no, I can't wait. I'm so excited. But I actually try, people keep asking me what I'm going to wear to a fish say. And I'm thinking maybe like some kind of tuxedo type of. Totally. Yeah. I mean, that's what when I did my brothers.

I wanted like a black jumpsuit. I wanted to feel very priest-like. And then I changed. But I can't wait to see what you're thinking. I'll run everything by you. Obviously. I'm excited. Well, congrats.

I can't believe you're starting a tour without me. It's fucking crazy. I can't believe you're going to be in Vegas without me. Yeah. That's fucking crazy. Yeah. I should just fly to Chicago. How are you going to be a carbone without me?

That's crazy. Okay. Okay. Anyway, so we're going to thank our partners and get into it. Thank you to Rocket Money. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions at RocketMoney.com slash GGE. An article. Get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at article.com slash gge.

And finally, BetterHelp get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash gge. Yes. And thank you to Nutraful. Get $10 off any order and free shipping when you subscribe at Nutraful.com with code GGE gift. And booking.com win $1,000 of booking.com travel credit by entering their sweepstakes on Instagram at bookingcom. And a new partner. I'm so excited about trade coffee. Get 40% off your first order at drinktrade.com slash eat. So we just got back from New York. People

kept asking me like, why are you going? You guys have shows. I'm like, no, Ashley has shows. Do you know how many times I've had to say, no, Ashley has shows? People are like, oh my God, do you guys have shows? I'm like, I just go where Ashley. We recorded with our guest today. So we did have a reason. We recorded with Gabby in New York. I had already agreed before we had a work reason. People are like, are you going for dates? I'm like, I lived in New York 15 years.

I have a lot of friends. I'm just going to go. Yeah, we do all the things. So we went to New York for the week, and I was pre-gaming my tour. I wanted to run the full hour that I'm for the most part going to do on tour. And I wanted to do it in New York. I wanted to do it at the stand. And then just do sets all week.

I did 11 sets and ran the hour twice in five days. I barely saw you. Five days. It's pretty crazy how much, I mean, not how much work you put into it because you always put hard work into this. And I think you are, you really take it seriously. But we worked all day every day. And then Dick, you went to work at night.

It really, by the Saturday night, so I did pretty much, I ran the hour twice and did two shows. And then every other night, I did like three sets. And honestly, by Saturday, I was like, I did too much. Whoever saw me at the nine on Saturday. I'm sorry. I just was, I had nothing left. I don't know how you've been.

Like, I just felt like, I just felt like, I just felt like, I just felt like, I never would have done this outside of this situation. I would have taken one night at least. It just was a lot to work all day and then go out and perform all night. And it did start to wear on me at the very end, but I'm really glad I got the reps in. And I just feel so good about the material, like, just have it all out there. And I just feel really proud and just so happy to, I get really emotional. Like so happy to share it with you guys on tour.

It's just storytelling and obviously comedy and humor. and I'm just really proud of how it all came together. And it was so great to have you there and like immediately getting off stage. Like I have to hear your thoughts and opinions. And like we had the exact same feeling on like a part I want to take out and what we can put in there. And I've been like working that out. And it's just I felt like so happy to have all my friends around me, you, Andrew Collin, even like Bobby and Izzy of kind of like giving me feedback on kind of like what to sub into

this one kind of missing chunk. And then I was able to really get there by the end of the week. So I just, I feel great and I can't wait to see you guys. And at this point, I've done Chicago, but I have Phoenix this weekend with Raina Greenberg and Britney Schmidt. It's like a girl's trip, girls' night. I can't wait. You guys come to Phoenix.

It'll be so fun, the three of us. It's going to be wild. And then I'll just rattle off the cities, Miami, Tampa, Salt Lake. Can't wait to be there. So excited. We haven't been there in a while. Pasadena, right, you know, down the street, Portland, Oregon, Washington, D.C., Toronto, Denver, then here in L.A.,

a hometown show, Charlotte, Atlanta, San Diego, and San Francisco. And, you know, I may be adding some more. We'll see. And then my goal is to shoot a special and then get married. And that's the Sex Before Marriage Tour. And you guys can get tickets at ashes.com. I felt a real rush watching you walk off stage the first time. I've seen most of your material.

But watching you run up for the first. I felt just such a rush of like pride. You just, you've worked for this for a really long time. This is the culmination of all that. So I'm just, I'm excited. I'm sad. Chicago this weekend. But you'll be with Sparklerus. Yeah, he'll be fine. My friend Oscar Aden is going to open and he'll be on some tour dates too. Brittany's coming to a few. Brittany will come to Salt Lake,

which will be really fun. Just me and Brittany and Mormon country. There's two slots. That's really it. So Ash Hess.com for tickets for the Sex Before Marriage Tour and I'll see you guys out there. Well, I'm excited for you. Okay. How was your week in New York? My week was great. You weren't there with me as much socializing. So I did a lot of one-on-one hangs with a lot of people. I did a lot of group hangs without you. Crazy. I'm just like, you know, I'm finding my way in the world without you. It was really weird.

Like, obviously I saw you every day, but it was weird to be like, what are you doing tonight? Like, I have to go work. Nobody made me make reservations. That's for sure. I was just flying on my own time. It was nice. But you met me most nights.

I saw you most nights. No, I had this very funny situation out with this guy that we have just been like laughing about so hard for date. Yeah. And I will say, like, I have enjoyed dating like a few people at once. and having a bunch of guys in the mix because it makes everything kind of less serious. And that doesn't mean you let people, by the way,

treat you like shit. It makes it easier when somebody's behavior isn't great to be like, I don't care about you. Like the stakes are lower. You don't have all your eggs in a basket. I don't care about you and I don't care about this. Yeah. I'm going to talk to someone else.

Yeah, I've gone out with this guy and I really like him. We had a really fun time together and right away he had like scheduled plans with me and we were like talking a bunch and sending like playlists. And I just like really, we have a lot of things in common, a lot of similar hobbies. And I really enjoyed him.

I was attracted to him. And I was excited to see him again. And he had made a plan with me to see me. And it was like a Monday night. I was going to see him on a Tuesday. And Monday night, he had like confirmed Tuesday he canceled. And he said I had this work thing come up, whatever. And I was like, yeah, sure, no problem.

Yeah. And he was like, let's just like reschedule when I get back in town. So he picked the day. So this is the following the week. Like he was like, let's reschedule for one week from now. I'm going out of town this weekend. I don't need a day to recharge. Like next Tuesday, it's on.

Yeah. It was a pretty, like, you could have misinterpret it. It was firm plans. He was not like, I'll hit you up next Tuesday and we'll see. It was firm. He said, let's firm. I know it was firm because he said it was firm. Let's firm up these plans.

He's like, I'm going to go out of town. I'm going to recover this day. I'll see you on Tuesday. See you next Tuesday. Yeah, it was concrete. He said, I'll see you next Tuesday. No, we didn't. But he said, let's do it a Tuesday.

So I'm like, that's fine. So we texted a little. we DMed a little bit. He went out of town. Sunday comes around. I'm assuming I'll, like, hear from him about the trip. I don't hear from him. Whatever.

I don't care. I don't care. I'm like, surely I'll hear from him today. I'll be like, see you tomorrow. Nothing. So Tuesday morning, I'm like, I'm not going to see him. Of course I'm not going to see him. I just, I think you hear from people.

And I didn't hear from him. I never heard from him. And I think maybe some of you were like, well, why didn't you text him? Because I don't want to. Because he already canceled on me once. And so I'm not being like, hey, hello. Buzz buzz.

Yeah. If a person wants to see you, they'll see you. And I had already agreed to the previous plans, which he canceled. And I had agreed to the follow-up plans. So if you want to see me, you will check in with me. Yeah. For the plans that you made. Yeah, you made the plans.

And then you made another firm plan. Yeah. we going to say to him? And I thought I would maybe say something like, hey, I know things come up, but I would have appreciated a heads up, which you are well within your right to do. I never hooked up with this guy. I didn't sleep with him. I don't think he owed me anything. We went out once. I did not need to have a discussion with an adult about their behavior. You made a plan with me, you blew me off. I don't need to send you a, hey, this really bothered me. If you want to, great. I was like, he's going to reach out at some point. They always do. He's coming back around.

We don't know when it's going to be. We don't know where it's going to be. be if it's going to be on text, if it's going to be in the DMs, but he's coming back. And then you will say something. You're not just going to never let him, you know, you will address it once he comes back around. You'll have your chance. Yeah. But you were, your plan was never to like act like nothing happened and then just start chitty, like chatty with him. Chitty chatter. Yeah, just chitty chatty with him. You know, I think that you're welcome to draw a boundary with somebody about how they communicate with you, but this guy wasn't trying to communicate with me. What was he to draw boundary with a person that didn't want to talk to me?

I'm like, I don't like the way you treat me. And he's like, I don't like, I don't want to treat you anyway. That's the point of this. I didn't want to talk to you. So I just let it go. And I was like at some point else, I'll hear from him. So I did two days later. He just responded to this Instagram story.

How was your dinner at his place? I was like, what? He's like two days have gone by. I bet she forgot. Yeah, I bet she just forgot. And again, not somebody I had like a deep romantic relationship. It's fine. I wrote it was fine.

He responded to another Instagram story. I totally ignored that one. And then the following week, when we, a couple days ago, I posted, I was going to Mexico City, people have wrecks. You guys, by the way, incredible. Our audience is amazing. They sent me emails, DMs, so many different wrecks.

And he texted me and said, like, hey, how are you? I have tons of great Mexico City wrecks for you. And I was like, we're just not going to acknowledge this. We're just not going to say anything. Right. Did you think I was just going to not say something? That's what he was hoping. That was the hope.

I expect this behavior from a 27-year-old man. That's exactly what I said. If I was describing it to like another friend, she was like, how old is this guy? Yeah. It's young behavior. 42. Yeah. So this is.

Ew. Can you imagine turning 42? Honestly, no. Sick. Sick. Yuck. We're kidding because Ashley's turning 42. Okay.

We're insulting our listeners. We're about to be there. Oh my God. So I just, you know, in the past, I might have just brushed us under the rug and been like, I liked this guy. He blew me off. Let me just get back in there by any means possible. And in my younger years, I might have.

Or I might have been like, you know, you blew me up. You know, like, I might have like taken the bait and been like angry. But like, I just wanted to have like the lightest response to this ever. So what Ashley and I crafted together. We were in the elevator going up and just we came up with it. I've just said goodbye to rain on her floor. I'm like, have fun, can be posted. It is such a rush.

Hitting send on that text you did with your friend. Yeah. On this masterpiece you created it with your friend. He was like, hey, I saw you're going to, you know, Mexico City. I have so many good spots for you. So does the internet, by the way. Like, I don't need this. I don't need your recommendations.

This is one of the most traveled to food destinations in North America. If not the world, it is the highest concentration of Michelin-Star restaurants. I have the whole internet. I have tons of friends. somebody who made a plan with me and then blew me off twice. Yeah. I don't need your help. And he just wants to flex.

That's all it is. This is about him. This is bragging. He wants to be like, I've been there and I know what's good. Like, this isn't even about you. This is about him wanting to be Mr. rec guy. Had nothing to do with me.

Yeah. Tell you what. So I wrote, hey, can I really trust the wrecks with someone who blew me off twice? And then we did a, we just, the emoji was just like, Hmm. Can I? though. The emoji really lightens it up.

Well, it is light to me. It's light. You know? Yeah. I believe you when people treat you a certain way, you should believe them. That was the behavior. If somebody wants to see you, they'll see you. If he wanted to make a follow up plan with me, he would have. He did not.

Yeah. He wrote, I deserve that. Got me. Like what? Oh, you know, I deserve that. And he's like, you know what I'm going to do is show accountability. This is, I Googled it. And this is what Chat, ChiPT said, I should say, to show accountability.

I deserve that. It's so funny. If somebody gave me their time and I did blow them off two times, it feels antagonistic. And I don't care about you, so it doesn't. But I would never text them.

Can I give you some wrecks? It's the audacity for me. We've all blown people off. But you don't come back around. Buzz, Buzz, it's me. Remember I blew you off? That's what's so crazy. That's like the crazy male behavior.

It's crazy. I mean, I think, I'm not saying he just decided he didn't like you and blew you off and go I don't know what went through his head. I don't know what happened. I'm just saying like, women would be like,

I've made plans of this guy and I don't want to go. And I'm just going to see if I can ghost out of this. Like, I'm not saying that that's great behavior. But like everybody's done it. You don't come back around. You just, you don't come back around and act like nothing happened. Yes. That's what's so great.

Yeah, exactly. It's really disrespectful. And a person who looks at themselves of high quality and you should wouldn't put up with the shit. So I deserve that. Technically only once. And it wasn't my fault. per se, but sorry for that.

I could break the sentence down for the rest of my life. First of all, technically once. Technically, not the technically. He's like, technically, if you want to be semantical about it, I made up a lie to not see you the first time. So I didn't actually blow you off the first time. The first time I lied and said it was work-related. The second time you got me, I deserve that.

It's so insane. Technically, you're going to tell me I'm wrong. You called me wrong? This is so crazy. Also, how many times what does it matter? Like, it's so crazy. Like, hey, you did this shitty thing twice. But technically once.

It's great. It wasn't my fault per se is my favorite line of the year so far. Whose fault was it? It wasn't my fault per se. Not the per se. I decided to make a firm plan with you. I didn't go to it and I never acknowledged it. It wasn't my fault.

But which one isn't his fault? The first one, the lie one. He's still not addressing the second blow off. So he actually, he conflated the two. Is what happened. So he is responding to two different things at once. He's saying, I deserve that. It was technically once.

And it wasn't my fault per se. He's saying the first time was not his fault. I had to read that a few times because I was like, is he saying that he doesn't even remember that there was one time? Like, I thought he was correcting me. Like, it was only once. Yeah. And he's saying, like, the first time it was work related.

So it's not my fault per se. Yeah. At least I made up a lie to you the first time. So it didn't have to see you. We were saying it wasn't my fault per se all week. We need merch. It wasn't my fault per se. I'm wearing that. I think everybody should buy that for their partner, for their male partner. I just, I think there's a lot of people that would just fall in her toward and be like, yeah, I know that sucks. Stuff came up. Stuff comes up. We're all strangers. I think that people are deeply nuanced and so are their lives and people are dealing with stuff in their lives. Whether it's work related, family related. Or maybe he didn't even really like me that much. I don't know. But like to say, ah, you got me, but it wasn't really my fault per se. It's so crazy.

And I was trying to think like I do like this guy. It's not that big of a deal. It's light. So is there a way that I spin this so I could ever see him again? But he like refuses to say the things that would ever make me see a person again. Yeah, that's his character. I know that sucks. And, you know, it's not really who I am.

Which he did say. That's not who I am. I'm a nice guy. you guys. Yes, it just laughed out loud. No, like literally, we started asking ourselves and our friends. Like, have you ever... We started asking ourselves.

I couldn't help but wonder. No, like, legitimate good guy, I know. Like, a guy I would consider to be, like, a genuine great guy, a great partner, a great friend. You know, like, our brothers, my fiancee, Rob, like, I'm just, you know, all those guys. I've never heard them say, I'm a nice guy. Like, I'm a nice guy is such a red flag. Nice guy is really, like, you know. genuine kind guys don't say that about themselves. I will stand by this. I mean, I could be,

obviously there's exceptions to every rule, but like, I'm a nice guy is a red flag. I know. And he might not like me that much. But he did say, again, I'm really sorry. That's not who I am. And I said, who are you? Which just made me laugh. I was naked in the shower. It was like 1.30 in the morning. L.L, who are you? I was drunk. Yeah, I said, LOWA, who are you? He said, a nice person who doesn't intentionally blow people off. You did intentionally blow me off. What are you saying to me? It's so crazy. I mean, that's the nail in the coffin is like, I'm a nice guy after this. Who didn't intentionally blow you off? What are you saying to me?

You did. Yeah. But you did. Well, it wasn't his fault per se. It wasn't his fault per se. Oh, man. Yeah. I mean, the way it all played out was just like a bummer and just like so immature.

That's one of my main thing. It's just like, I don't know. This feels like par for the course in your 20s maybe. Totally. Which is not acceptable no matter what. but it's just like, ah, kids are going to kid.

I think you grow up and you just learn to respect people's time a little bit more. The stakes feel bigger and you've had more serious relationships. And I really wanted him to say

like anything besides what he said. Yeah. I think he probably could look at this and be like, I said sorry twice. I said this is not who I am. I said, it's not really my fault.

I think he could be like what I wrote was nice and I offered to help her. And I've offered twice. I just wanted, I don't know, I wanted him to just say like, Let me make it up to you.

That's all I wanted. Yeah, I know that's a bummer. Let me make it up to you. He wanted this trip. I think that it was like a bachelor party trip. I'm sure you are exhausted and fucked up. And maybe hooked up with a bunch of girls there. And now hanging out with me,

make a dinner does not sound so shiny. You're banged up. But I just wanted like, sorry. Let me make it up to you. You know, again, like it's not all about age, but any grown up who is somewhat evolved should have handled it better. Yeah. that's not how I would treat somebody.

Yeah. And I have to ask myself, like, is that how I want to be treated by somebody? No. It's not. Yeah. I think of myself as like a high value person. I don't want to be treated like that. And I think that like things aren't so heavy.

And that's the thing that's like the podcast has brought me over the years. And I always say that. Like I understand that people have shit and I'm not so like mad about this and how dare you. But like, I don't know. There's just like other ways to have approached this. Yeah. I mean, and you got your point across. And I know what you did.

And you said it in a light way. And that's not how some people would would treat the situation. And that's okay. And we have a friend who deals with situations like this and she wants our advice and she really gets angry and she pops off. And I don't know. I think sometimes she may have a tendency to send messages and react in a way that has someone being like, whoa, like dodged a bullet there. You know, and however you want to react is fine and feels authentic to you. But I'm big on like, how do I want to be perceived?

Not that I care with this person thinks about me, but how do I want to look back on this situation and my reaction? Yeah, I want to also think, like, how in three weeks am I going to look back and be proud of my behavior if I pop off on him? A year am I going to look back and even remember this person's name? No. And yeah, at its core, it hurts my feelings to be blown off. I met somebody I liked. I had a lot in common with. I thought that he was attracted to me or liked me. It hurts when somebody decides to not treat you the best way possible, no matter who you are. Like, at its core, it makes you feel a certain way and makes you feel bad. But yeah, I don't want to look back. and know that I, I don't know, brought a gun to a fist fight. Right. Like, you didn't have this history. Like, yeah. You weren't intimate at all.

Like, exactly. And again, like, it's just however you want to react that feels authentic to you, but sometimes I'm like, I want my reaction to match the intensity of the situation. That's what it is. And maybe you want to fuck down the road. Maybe you want to leave the door open later on. I can't trust him. I can't.

I think he's shown us who he is, unfortunately. You know, and let's say he comes back around. He wants to do this big apology tour or whatever. And then I don't know. Like, you get in a relationship with him and I'm never going to forget it. He's, it wasn't my fault per se guy. Tinks has this very funny. Do you see that Tanks clip?

She said like in the beginning of a relationship, like a lot of people are hesitant to like share stuff with their friends that this person does because they're like, my friends will never forget it. And she's like, I'm the friend that will never forget it. Like I'll never forget if somebody does my friend dirty. Well, and it's like in a way. way that I never forget anything. I'm like a vault. It's a problem. It's a problem for me. But like it's not that I'm going to keep bringing this up. It's just like it's always in the

back of my head because you are suspicious that it'll resurface. Yeah. It's noted. Yeah. Like I always think about that. Like when relationships end sometimes, you're like, God, we saw that come. Like he showed us that so early on. And we just, you know, someone decided to overlook it. But you showed your character. Yeah, I think that, like, there are certain things that can be worked on long term. And again, I was never in a relationship with this person. But not respecting other people's time, not respecting, like, plans. That's, like, pretty important to me.

And it's a real boundary for me in a relationship, it would be. Yeah, and then just the lack of responsibility. I don't know. Yeah. But it wasn't his fault, per se. It wasn't his fault. To tell us what feels about it. All right.

Well, we're going to wrap up because I have to go to Mexico. Okay. You have to go to Chicago. Yeah. We're just going to talk about a couple of our partners. Okay. So trade coffee. I am a coffee girlie.

It's so important to you. It is like self care to me. Like my morning cup of coffee is a must. Like I'm just such a like I love to share coffee with like a friend and my partner. And I'm just like it is just so huge for me. I know a lot of people feel this why they love coffee. But like I get excited about it. It's the first thing I do every morning.

Exactly. And I do stretches that your brother prescribed. And then I drink a cup of coffee. It's the first thing I do. And it's important to me to pick one that tastes good. I would actually probably have a partner that, like, didn't drink alcohol before someone that didn't drink coffee. Like, I want to share that with somebody. Oh, wow.

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cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with RocketMoney. Go to rocketmoney.com slash GGE. That's rocketmoney.com slash GGE. Okay, booking.com. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma. Are you ready to sing the song? This episode of Girls' Gotta Eat is brought to you by booking.com, the official accommodation partner of MLB, booking.com, booking.com, booking. Yeah. It's spring, spring into summer, it is baseball season.

We love booking.com. They are the official accommodation partner of MLB. And we also love them as well for booking our stays. We were just in New York like we were talking about. And that's where we booked our hotel stay. We've always been fans of booking with them. There's anything you could imagine, wide variety of stays. You're looking for a vacation home, a five-star hotel, or even a cabin in the woods. You guys can book with booking.com. And, you know, let's talk about the MLB side of it. So we love going to baseball games. We've been talking about how we're going to go here in L.A. And, you know, when you go to a baseball game, one of the best parts is when the stadium sings a song you all know and love together. We created our own version of Take Me Out to the Ballgame,

which we're going to all sing together. Yay! Okay, ready? All right. Take me out to the Hamptons. Rana, you're a little quick. Now you don't like that I'm doing it with you. One, two, three, hit it. Take me out to the Hamptons. Take me out to Raina Palooza. Then to Vegas for Ashley's Bachelorette. At the mail review, everyone will be wet.

Let us book, book, book with booking.com. And then we get ready to thrive. Because it's one, two, three clicks you're booked for the summer of 2025. I think my cadence was perfect. Everyone can feel that you've got to get out of here in 10 minutes. Raina said if it's 145 and we're not done, she's walking out. I said I will walk off this set. Booking.com wants to help make you a fan of any U.S. City with a chance to win $1,000 in

booking.com travel credit. All you have to do is head to booking.com's Instagram page. It's at bookingcom and check out their sweepstakes post for more details. And let's get into it with Gabby. All right, guys, we are very excited to welcome our guest today. She is a renowned spiritual teacher and a number one New York Times bestselling author. She has been hailed as the Next Generation Thought Leader by Oprah Winfrey. She is the author of 10 bestselling books, including The Universe, Has Your Back, Super Attractor and Happy Days.

She is the host of the podcast, Dear Gabby, and she frequently appears on The Today Show, A Good Morning America, among others, to share her expertise in meditation, manifestation, and cultivating inner peace. Her newest book is out now. Self-Help. Please welcome to the show, Gabby Bernstein. You guys, I love that I'm on girls got to eat. And like the second I sat down, I was like, I'm going to eat a cheese wheel right now. Like the little milk from the deli bodega cheese wheel. No, you got to have it.

The old school, like baby bell, little netting. Like the wax. The wax. It's just iconic. Girls got to eat. Girls got to eat. A girl was hungry. And she's like blood sugar is going, whatever.

I don't know what it's doing. So got to eat. If you have coffee on empty stomach, what will happen? Is it like a jittery thing? Well, I'm getting really. Okay, I'm 45 years old. I'm getting very nerdy. I'm going through perimenopause.

I'm getting super nerdy. I'm on HRT. I'm super nerdy about all of my fitness. By the way, my fitness markers are like fucking awesome right now. Go off. A year ago, prior to being treated for perimenopause, I was like, I was like a shit show. It was like I was like skinny fat. You know what I mean?

Even though I worked out. And then I started getting all my healing and everything going and my heavy weights and my high protein and my, my, my hormones and all the things. And I literally just did one of those like BMI and whatever, all the didda, whatever they are. And I was like, I was like an athlete shape. I mean, we could just talk about perimenopause on this episode. I just, it's like not talked about enough. It's here. We were talking about it. Okay. Good. No, I'm glad. It's a spiritual shakedown. Yeah. Yeah. We can go there. All right. Well, we were just talking previously and you said you've been in the, I'll call it, self-help industry for 20 years. And you've written so many books. And you've

probably seen a huge evolution of this industry in general. So for people who don't know who you are, can we just talk about your journey? Yeah, totally. So I think I've definitely been at the forefront of the zeitgeist of people seeking spirituality and wellness. I started my career when I was 25. I first got sober at 25 years old. And in my sobriety, I started reclaiming a lot of my spiritual faith. Because as a child, I was brought up learning to meditate and brought to ashram's. Oh, you were? Yeah, my mom was very spiritual. And so I had that foundation. And so I had that foundation. And so then I returned to it in my sobriety and very quickly started giving talks. So I would go to the Soho House and give talks or to the gay lesbian transgender center across the street from my apartment in the West Village.

And I would like set up the chairs and you'd say Gabby at the door. And it was like hundreds of, you know, 20-something New York women that were out on a Friday night coming to hear me give a talk about spirituality and forgiveness and manifesting. And it was this new wave of now those young. 20-year-old women are in their 40s with me now. But it was this new wave of spirituality. It was a next-generation spiritual message. And it was way before anyone was gluten-free. No one was drinking green juice.

Like, I would go to these raw food parties in this neighborhood. We're in the East Village right now. That, like, rollerblade to these raw food parties. It was like a weird thing to drink a green juice. And I'd be, like, telling my friends that were, like, eating, like, raw pizzas. And they'd be like, what is that, you know? This was very at the forefront of this wellness. movement, frankly. And so it's interesting now to kind of be 20 years later in a different

generation now of this new generation of sort of wellness, this mind manifesting seekers, and to see the difference and to see where we were to where we are now. But yeah, I spent, I spent the last 20 years developing, even living three blocks away from here, which is just it's so beautiful to be back in this neighborhood. I've really been back since the pandemic. And I I'm in awe of that time of just speaking at the middle church right up here, like three blocks away, was like my spiritual home. And it actually burnt down during COVID. And now it's back. And I told them I want to get back there. It's like a Unitarian church. Oh, that's what my parents are. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And I just recall this fond memories of being this 20, 30 year old, just busting through New York City,

just speaking on spiritual principles and building this movement of new seekers. Well, I have so many questions, but like what brought you to do that? What started that? I mean, you grew up in that way. Yeah, it was brought up that way. I always, I think that there is this Joan of art quote that I like, which is I'm not afraid I was born to do this. And it feels very much aligned with me and my mission.

because while I can sit here and we can talk about our nails and we can be very much in the world, I've always very much felt like that veil has been lifted for me between a world beyond my physical sight. I've always been able to feel connected to the spiritual realm and to channel and to have deep, deep spiritual meditated practice. And it's been not a spiritual part of my life, but I've lived a spiritual life. And so I've always known, in a sense, even as a kid, I was the president of the Jewish youth group and leading these like hundreds of kids like in the temple

but like being like this like spiritual Sherpa at like 13 you know I knew that this was what I was here to do is to crack people open to a way of seeing the world in a different lens and so it's just what I know I came here for did this help you get sober or did you rediscover this after you were sobriety?

Oh it definitely helped because I had my stack of self-help books next to my bed and I'd be like at my after hours parties in my studio apartment doing Coke and whatever. And I'd be like pointing to my stack of self-help books and telling the random strangers in my apartment, I'm going to be a motivational speaker and a self-help book author. And they'd be like, they're like, you're on Coke having.

Go fuck yourself. But I knew. I knew. And that foundation was there. And so that foundation was what allowed me to, on October 2nd of 2005, hit my knees and ask the universe for a miracle. And I said, I need a miracle. and I actually heard an inner voice say to me, get clean, and you will live a life beyond your wildest dreams.

Oh, wow. And that day, I went to second and second right over here to a meeting, to a 12-step meeting, and I've been sober ever since. Oh, my gosh. So this is this neighborhood's like really, like, dealing with you. This is my hood, you guys. I love that we're recording with you here. The only place I've lived in New York is the East Village. Yeah.

But it means a lot to us, too. Yeah. So you talk about in your work, there's a lot about manifestation and spirituality. trusting that the universe will give you what is meant for you and things like that. For those who don't really know what manifestation is, and we've talked about it on the show a lot, and Ashley and I's how we digest what quote unquote manifestation is. Personally, for me, it's not necessarily like, trust that things will happen. It's like set in intention and then work towards that thing, actionable goals. So that's the interpretation of manifestation for me. And I'm curious what

your interpretation of manifesting is. And if it's changed. So simply put, we manifest what we believe, we manifest who we are. So the beliefs that we have have an energy, right? So if we're walking around feeling like I'm not good enough or I can't attract love or I'm not worthy of abundance, we feel a low vibration. We feel funky. That energy is what we're putting out and that energy is what we get back. We manifest the energy that we are. So we have a lot of more power than we think. Because our real power is to heal. Our real power is to befriend the parts of ourselves that feel so stuck, to heal the beliefs that hold us back. And so while I've written 10 books on the topic of manifestation and spirituality, they're really at their core

self-help books because they're designed to help you heal the beliefs that block you from the manifestation that you are. And so the key to manifesting isn't like how many times can I write it down on a vision board or how many ways can I repeat this or all the bullshit TikTok things that you see out there, which maybe they work a little bit because they're making you focus on something, but those are just tricks. You don't need to play tricks with the universe. You just are all day, every day manifesting and attracting. But the real manifesting flex, the real way to attract what you want is to heal the beliefs that you don't want.

I love that because I think, you know, people can kind of. of tie manifestation into the privilege and like, oh, I would just love to just like wish these things, you know, but I'm starting at like a low baseline maybe of where a lot of healing needs to be done. Everybody's got a lot of healing that needs to be done. Yeah. Some more than others. Some people just have a little bit more ease in life and maybe their brain chemistry is a little different or they've had less trauma in their past.

But we've all got shit. Okay. And that past experience, whatever it might be, big, big T trauma, little T trauma, the experiences from our past, it dictates who we are in the present. And so in every moment, we all have a choice. We can keep repeating the patterns and beliefs that we've been carrying and keep living the life that we're living. Or we can start to undo some of those belief systems and befriend the parts of ourselves that need to be healed. And it's not necessarily what the listener wants to hear right out of that. You know, they came here. And they're like, this is a topic on

manifesting. Like, who's going to tell me how to get what I want? that's not what I'm going to tell you. I'm going to tell you that you can have everything you want far beyond your wildest dreams when you turn inward and heal. I like the discussion of like the things that you tell yourself will become your reality and that it's so much negative self-talk of like no one ever loves me or I'm not meant for greatness. Why does everybody else get this thing that I can't have? And you do start to like, I guess for a lack of it, vibrate on a different level. Yep. And start, you know, when you're starting from a negative place, you don't like yourself, you sometimes attract not great things into your life.

It's not your fault. People go through all kinds of issues. It's hard to just pick yourself up out of bed when you're like, my last four relationships ended. And every one of those guys found their partner right after me. I'm the last girl that everybody dates before they find their partner. I'm just making up these things. But like it's hard to stop telling yourself those stories. So those stories, if you'd ask yourself about those stories, everybody knows those stories.

You guys know your stories, whatever they might be, live. Believing beliefs, right? And then if you ask yourself, how long of those stories been around? Let me ask you, how long of your story's been around? The stories we tell ourselves are just in the world. The limiting beliefs. The limiting beliefs that you might have in your own life. You don't have to say what they are, but are you familiar with some of them. Yeah. Yeah. Since childhood. Yeah. Probably since middle school for me. Yeah. For example, I'll use myself as an example. I had a belief, and I'm going to say had because I've really worked with a lot of work on it. I feel really healed. That was if I don't do it, nobody. else will do it. Okay. And I live with that belief up until a few months ago. Really, it's like a quantum shift recently, but not a quantum shift. Like it's been decades of healing to get to this point. And if I were to ask myself, how long has that belief been around as long as I can remember? As long as I can remember, you know, since I was a little small child. This is just that you

can't trust that other people will take care of things unless you were in charge of it. Exactly. And why? Because I was a child who didn't have the right neglect and didn't have all the head traumas. a child and didn't have the support systems that I needed. And so, of course, as a little girl, I would protect myself with the belief that I got to do it. I got to control everything to feel safe. So did you notice I said the word protect? So the beliefs that we have that are creating the world that we don't want to have are actually protection mechanisms. So you become like really good at this thing that you feel like there's a deficit all around you. Yeah, the protection mechanisms can show up in all kinds of ways, right? So it could be a belief, right? Like if I don't do it,

Nobody else will, so I've got to control everything and do it. Or it could be a perfectionism. Like if I'm not perfect, I'm not good enough. Or it could be, I'm not good enough. It could just be I'm not good enough and I'm going to play small. That's a protection mechanism. Interesting. Yeah.

Or I'm going to, you know, drink over my problems or I'm going to judge over my problems or everybody else is out to get me. All these stories that we've been repurposing and replaying. They're very young. They've been around forever. And they're protecting us. And what are they protecting? us from? They're protecting us from very impermissible feelings from childhood. So moments in time where we felt unlovable or inadequate or not good enough or we felt like we weren't getting

the care that we needed right away. What do we do? We started to protect ourselves. Sure. Because we didn't want to feel those feelings. We didn't have to process them. Is some of that good because it's self-preservation and it's learning strength from the bad things that happen around? Yeah. These parts of us have a lot of value, right? So like let's take, and I'm talking about them as parts of ourselves because it's kind of leaning into self-help my new book. They're aspects of ourselves, right? They're like little person, little inner children, right? And my controller part, right? Created a lot of chaos in my life, you know, led me to addiction, created, you know, created chaos in my relationships at work and was just sort of unable to be present. But guess what? She also wrote 10 spiritual self-help

books in 14 years, and she's served a lot of souls. And so there's duality there, right? There's good aspects of these parts of ourselves, but then the goal isn't to make them stop. The goal is to help soothe ourselves, soothe these parts of ourselves, so that we can be less extreme. So that controller part now is still around. She's a kick-ass businesswoman. She's running a team. She's very clear with her managers and agents about what she wants and needs. You know what I'm saying she's on a mission. She's not like freaking out every day, right? So it's, it's healing these aspects so that they can be in their most developed role. Well, you said this was recent. So here you are, you know, I've been doing this for 20 years, 10 books, and you were still

having this mindset. Like, was there a catalyst or was it just like you just feel like something finally clicked? Yeah, I think that I've been doing personal development work, hardcore for 20 years and spiritual work. And then, of course, even prior to. that had my own spiritual practices, I think that there does come a point where you have been on your journey, whether it be therapeutic, self-help, spiritual, all of the above, where there's a tipping point. You wake up new. And I can only say that because I'm living it.

I can only say that because I'm living it. And I think that's really important to say because I think a lot of people are walking around, like, is this it? Like, there has to be a better way, right? Or like, things look good on the outside, but it's not so good on the insider. Why do I keep attracting that shit that I don't want? Yeah. And it's ever going to change.

We feel so hopeless in that. And so I want to be a beacon of hope. I want to be a hope merchant for everybody and just say that you do the inner work. The inner work heals you. You can wake up new. Well, you open this book, Self-Help, in the first chapter talking about, and I want to get into it. But teaching this, it's called the Internal Family Systems Therapy. And it's someone else's coursework, essentially.

And you talk about how, like, who am I to write this book? And who am I to talk about this? And then you do this exercise in the book where you say to yourself, I want to tell myself the things that are true, which is that I've done this work for 20 years. I've written nine other books. And you sort of make a list of like you challenge those beliefs of like, who am I? And it's interesting that somebody like you can even have imposter syndrome, but you open the book with the imposter syndrome essentially.

Like who am I to do this? And I found it to be a good exercise because like when you say to yourself, I'm not good or I can't do this, it's nice to pause and tell yourself the things that are true. Yeah. And even before that, what was so ingrained in me is the four steps in the book, which is when you notice yourself an imposter syndrome or a fear-based lack mentality or the story, you know, the story, I'm not good enough or everybody else has it. I don't have it. Whatever your story is, instead of judging yourself or picking up a drink or going and overing, right, like eating it over it or drinking over it or whatever, you check in with it. Like, what if you just checked in with that belief? And then what if you became a little curious about that belief? And you're like, oh, like where do I feel that? And like, let me give it some breath. Are there any thoughts that want to come forward and just gave it a little bit of connection?

And then what have you asked that part of yourself? Like, what do you need right now? Like, when was the last time you asked yourself, what do I need? I don't know. Yeah. I think I do that. I think I know when I'm starting to spiral. Yes.

So instead of spiraling, what if you had a four-step inquiry that you could do? Yeah. I mean, we all have different things that are, they run the gamut. but it might be that I just need to go do something, like go do yoga, go work out, you know, go play with my dog. I mean, just kind of stop those from going any further. Yes, there's great practice in interrupting the pattern. But the greatest is to rewire your brain simultaneously.

So the steps that are in this book are like you said, based on a therapy called Internal Family Systems Therapy, but I've made it a self-help practice. And I'm trained in IFS. I'm level two trained in this therapy, though I'm not a therapist. I have the certified training and I've gone on to make itself help. And so the thesis is that when we actually do turn inward and we do just sort of become curious about these parts of ourselves and we give it a little bit of breath, what happens is that we start to feel a calmness come over us.

We might feel some compassion towards ourselves. And maybe we feel a little bit of like a little bit more connection or clarity. Like we're like, oh, okay, like that's not who I am. It's just a part of who I am and it's just kind of showing up right now. or we feel like a little bit of creative energy kind of change. And we start to feel different. Those see qualities of clarity and compassion and calm. That's actually what in IFS is called self-energy.

That's like your spiritual presence. It's like your inner parent, your internal guide. We all have it. So when you check in like that, that self-energy emerges and that new energy, self, can help. And is there a part of it that's telling yourself, like, that's not true? What will emerge is not so much about like talking back to these parts of yourselves. It's about caring for them. Mm-hmm.

Do you guys have children? No. Okay. Do you have kids in your life? Yeah. Okay. Like nieces, nephews, that's everything? Yeah.

Okay. If those little kiddos came over to you and they were like, I'm so upset. Like, I'm not good enough. I suck. Like I can't do my. What would you say to them? That's not true. What else might you do?

Compliment them, like the like positive affirmation. I'm like you're, what it's like, you were smart. You were like from the help. Might you be like, why would you say something? Why would you say like asking them? I guess I'm a little more action-based. I could see myself saying, well, like, I don't think that's true about you. But if that's a thing that you feel, let's unpack it.

Let's figure out a course of action. Yeah. Connect with them. Yes. You'd be compassionate towards them. Of course, yeah. Yeah, I guess my instinct is to counteract the negative. Okay. So you'd want to help them.

You want to help, right? Okay. So when these little parts of yourself inside get activated, like you're feeling like not good enough or inadequate. What do you do? How do you speak to those parts of yourself? Again, I think I kind of have to focus on the good. Like, I think I need to tell myself that's not true.

I think we all have our own self-talk and like, why do we get here? Like, what made me get to this thought? Like, what number of small things led to this? Is that working for you? Yeah. I'm a pretty happy person. I don't know. I'm not trying to brag.

I feel at this point in my life, I feel really stable and happy. Yeah. Not necessarily the grand scheme of the world, but in my personal life, like, I feel pretty good. If we dug a little deeper, and this isn't just you, it's just people in general, the human condition. When we fall back into these patterns and behaviors that are just sort of like funky, we often are going to judge ourselves. We're often going to be like, oh, why did you do that again? Or, you know, how do we end up here again? or do something to avoid having to feel that feeling, even overriding it with like, well, that's not true. That's not true. Right. It's not really connecting to it. It's being like, nope, whitewashing it. Right. Like, oh, that's not true. That's what you're fine. You're fine. Like what a parent might do. It's like you're upset. You're fine. You're fine. No, that's like saying go fuck yourself. Right. So there's a deeper healing in creed that we really all want and need. And it's about becoming our own and our parent. I guess for me, I find a lot of comfort and just like action plan. Like,

Okay, if you tell yourself you're the only single girl in the group, which I am, a lot of the time, all right, well, if I don't like this about myself, what's the action plan to fix it? Like, I try to not marinate too long. I'm like, well, no one loves me. No one's ever going to love me. You know, maybe you can challenge that belief for a minute. I would challenge the action plan. Challenge the action plan. Yeah. Do you want that support? Right, Ali. Do you want me to suggest that? Yeah, I want to talk about dating. I think that would be great. So let's go there. Okay. If somebody says, like, no one's ever going to want me, everybody around me has all these relationships. I challenge you to look at the relationships around you. like, do you want to be in those? No. But yeah, let's talk about that belief.

The action plan is excellent. I love the action plan. I think that it's much more high vibe than woe is me and blah, blah, blah, blah. I think it's absolutely excellent. Like, I don't want you to just stop the action plan. Okay. But I might suggest that the action plan might be a protection mechanism. Okay.

Can you get behind that? Sure. Right? Like, I don't want to feel that feeling. Like, oh, so-and-so is now engaged or so-and-so has now got a new boyfriend or or whatever. Fuck, okay. Now I've got to go pick up the app and do the thing and da-da-da-da.

it's a way of overing. Just let me ask you. Does it feel like it could be a little bit protective? Well, let me ask you. Yes. The counter to that is that I would like playing in bed and feel bad for myself. That's not what I want either. And scroll Instagram and be like, everybody has this thing I want.

That's why I like the action plan. I feel like the action plan is a positive self-like quality. Okay. So it's like obviously you have a lot of motivation. you lean positive, you're high vibe woman. So that's excellent. And I'm very proud of that action plan. But what I actually put in place before the action plan.

Okay. There's a step before the action plan. Okay. And this is going to change your life. And that's why the subtitle is this is your chance to change your life. Yeah. Is to not override the feeling. Because that feeling of not having it, right, or the belief or the story of they have

I don't have it. I don't want you to override it. I want you to befriend it. Okay. And so four steps. Instead of going right into action, which sounds like it's your default, just take one minute. And you can use the book or I can give you my app and you can go through, I can take you through it audibly. It's like you can meditate with me.

And you do the first step, which is choose to check in with that feeling instead of just checking out with the action plan. Okay. Okay. So just you're taking one minute and you're like, okay, I'm going to choose to check in instead of checkout. Step two is just be curious. Where do I feel that in my body? And maybe you get a little teary, maybe you feel like a little bit of like the gut punch or the feeling in your chest. We all have different somatic experiences.

And you're curious about it. And then you'd be like, you know, what are the thoughts or feelings or sensations connected to it and let it talk to you? Like just give that feeling some permission to be present with you and to soften and to just be there. And when you feel you have a little connection to it, the next question would be third step. compassionate connection. What do you need? Just ask that part of yourself, what do you need? Okay. Don't question what you hear. You might hear, I need to rest. I need to go for a walk. I need to call a friend and cry. I need to journal. I need to let it out, right? Maybe it might say I need to just be with this feeling right now. Okay. The third step is to breathe into that and then notice

the C qualities, the four step. Notice if you feel more clarity, if you feel a little bit, bit more calm. If you feel a little bit more connected to the feeling than that belief, if you have a little courage, if you have a little bit of creative energy, if you have a little bit of compassion towards yourself, and these C qualities are self. That's yourself, okay? Then once you have that calmness or like a touch more compassion towards yourself or a little bit of clarity, then you can go on the app. Then you can, you know, text that guy that you like. That energy. That energy, Energy is a super attractor energy, not the, I feel this shitty feeling. I'm going to go do something over it.

That's not a manifesting energy. Okay. That's a fixing energy. Okay. What we want to do is go back, go in and do that four steps. If you do this for 40 days, I fucking guarantee you you're going to have a whole different dating experience. So I have been checking in with that feeling.

I guess maybe like I don't identify it as that. But like, I feel like dating has been really fun for me. Yeah. I'm not like, I feel bad. Let's fix it. Let's go on the app. That's not her at all. We've been trying to get our own apps for years.

It's not her. But there is an action step. Yes, but I feel like I check it over yourself. I'm really lucky. By the way, I have somebody to set you up with. Okay. Like a great guy, Ellen.

Like my best friend from growing up. My best friend from growing up. Love it. I'm really touched. Oh my God. You want to set me up with a friend of yours. Oh, fuck. Yeah.

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I'm really lucky. I said to a girlfriend, I was taking a walk with her day. I said I had a pretty hard couple months, and it really actually allowed me to be like, I have really great women in my life that I can stop and talk to them. And I know that's what friends are for,

but like I've really done that. I'm really proud of that. I did marinate and the like, I feel sad that I'm single. There was somebody I had a very deep feelings for it. It didn't work out. And that was very hard for me. And now that I've marinated on it.

It's allowed dating to be really, fun. I've approached it with like a really, dating should be fun. And we always say, if it's not fun, don't get on those apps, stay as far away from those apps as possible. But what I want you to do to just add to this, right? Because it sounds like you guys are both really self-aware women, so you're already doing this, right?

But what I'm suggesting for the listener that's single or whatever the thing is, if they want the relationship or they want to get the thing, to just do the one minute of checking in before you do the action. Totally. Because you want to take action, spiritually aligned action. You want to take action when you're in faith. You want to take action when you're feeling calm. You want to take action when you're feeling connected.

You want to take action when you're vibrating a good frequency. You don't want to take action from a thirsty place or a fixing place or a or a non-trusting place. Does that make sense? Yeah. So it's just like a little bit of a pattern interrupt inside before you make an outside action. I like that a lot. Yeah. And I think, you know, to go back to like the, that's not true.

When you framed it as like saying that to a child, it like hits different. that's like as a go fuck yourself. The thing is is your inner child does believe it's true. But then there are things I do believe that it's like if you're thinking of these things aren't going right in my social circle or you get like everybody nobody likes me kind of thing. You know, like I think these little things like this person didn't text me back like these people are hanging out without me. Like all those things can sometimes be a series of coincidences and you start to spiral out of control. You know, like at what point do you have to reflect and at what point do you have to be like you're over. I had this the other day. And I think the more you practice these principles, the more you know that this isn't me, it's a part of me. It's a young part of me that's activated.

Yes. Like that's from childhood, like those feelings of like everyone's. Whatever it is, everybody's, we all have different. Nobody likes me kind of stuff. It depends on what our thing is, right? That might not be your wound, right? But we all have these core wounds. And when they get triggered, which they get triggered all damn day, right? Totally. All day of day. From people, from whatever, from not getting the thing we wanted, from seeing the friend with the boyfriend and we don't have it, whatever it might be.

We're getting triggered, trigger, trigger, triggered. And then we're going into these protection mechanisms. So we're living from like trigger to protector, trigger to protector. And that's not a vibration of manifesting. Right. That's an energy of kind of being in this loop of self-preservation and this loop of defensiveness and this loop of fixing and this loop of just trying to. to survive and it's exhausting. And so if you just put one minute of inquiry in place of that

sort of reactive activity, then you might start to see your energy in your system settle a little bit. And then you might start to feel a little bit more connected inside. And then every step you take starts to feel a little bit more aligned. So for instance, the other last week, I had a weird one happen where I was supposed to have a friend on my podcast and then I had to cancel because there was like some issues with the studio. And then her book came out the next day and she was like all over like on Oprah and this and that and she's like blowing up. And I was like fuck like I should have had her on the podcast. It was like very ego. You know what I mean? Like yeah. Yeah. It's like not like like oh I wanted to have her like of course I wanted to have her on my podcast to support her. But the ego was like,

oh you missed that or whatever right. Yeah. And I was like in this point. And I was like in this point. believe that I hadn't been in for so many years. Like it felt like like this weird thing. And I was like really bent out of shape about it. But I had the awareness of this is a part of me. So I checked in with it, just like we've been doing it. And I was like, okay, where do I feel that in my body? And I chose to check in. And notice where it was in my body. I started to feel it. I asked the questions. How long have you been around? And then I saw this image of myself, 16 years old at the the diner, like on a Friday night. It was what you did in like year 16. And the three girls that I was best friends with decided they didn't want me my friend anymore. And they were. And they,

were like cursing me out in the parking lot. And I was like, I have no more friends. I was like the day I had no more friends. Yeah. And it was like this like reenaction of everybody else's friends, but I'm not friends. And it was just like this is completely different, of course, because it wasn't like somebody denied it. I canceled the podcast. But it was that feeling that was activated.

Yeah. And so then I tended to that feeling and I asked what do I need and I heard like, I just need to like be with the feeling right now, you know. And I worked it out my sense. Like I became my own inner therapist. Does that make sense? Yeah. I mean, I'm glad you shared that story because if I think about mine, like I do stand-up comedy and it can be very grueling and it can be a lot of like trying to be accepted here or get on these shows or dealing with like bookers and different shows and then a lot of like asking and people don't get back to you and whatever, I'm doing fine. I'm like here all week doing comedy. But when it can start to feel like a lot of things at once, which a lot of times are just that people are busy. You know, it's not personal. But it can start to be like I suck and everybody's talking. talking about my back and why my, you know, nobody likes me kind of thing. And those are some those poignant memories of my childhood is those feelings of like your friends hanging out without you. And we had it so easy because we didn't have social media. I actually can't imagine how it would

have been. But, you know, like I wasn't bullied per se. But those feelings of like two friends are without you and you hear about it, they call you or, you know, those moments like we've all had like sit with us forever and that all gets traced back to. I think it's just. being a girl growing up in the world wanting to be liked and, you know, wanting to be... So you see it happening now. It's the same feeling. Yeah. That's right.

That's right. Yeah. So what I'm trying to tell you guys is if you spent a minute a day with that feeling, you could become the inner parent that you didn't have at that moment. You could be your own inner guide self. You could start to soften the feeling. It'd become less reactive inside of you. And then the next time you don't get the gig or they don't call back, it feels a little

bit less like stingy. And the next time it feels like a little bit less stingy, a little bit less stingy. And then guess what? It's not even on your mind. So you have a little bit more energy because you're not worrying about the gig that you didn't get. And you're feeling a little more energy. And then in that more energy, you go on TikTok and you're like, let me just do this funny thing because I'm in a creative energy, which is self. And you do this little funny thing. And then that video goes viral. And then, oh, my God, you manifested the next gig. Do you follow me? Yeah. You get it? You know what I mean? Because like most days I'm in that high vibe. I'm like, things are great, you know?

Like, we're, our businesses are great. Like, my relationships, you know, things are going well. So I see what happens. And I want to talk about this. I'm a fixer. Like, this is just where I go. I literally was with Jonathan Vinesse like an hour ago, like doing the same thing. Okay.

Should have brought them with you. So if you want it, I'll tell you this. Okay. The two of you are already super high vibe, right? You're, you lean in the positive. You're doing everything right. So this is just shining the crystal a little bit, right? Like, you're fucking kicking ass.

Sorry, I'm cursing so much on this show, but I'm into, I'm kind of a sex toy company and all the guys of this stuff. Do you guys own a sex toy company? Yeah, we're going to mail you some fun stuff. My husband's the CEO of our company. She's like, gross. It's like her. We have a coffee for you guys. Sorry, Ray.

Sorry, Maria. Okay. But it's called vibes only. So it kind of even goes with. I love it. Oh my God. I got to get into this. Oh, yeah.

We'll get your address. We'll look through. You curse all you want. Talk about anything. Okay. Vives only. So it's easy to think this isn't about, this isn't towards you. this is just for your listeners, there's a lot of spiritual bypassing happening out there

where people are like, I have this bad feeling, I'm going to tell myself it's the opposite. Or I'm just going to affirm that I'm perfect, I'm perfect, and perfect. I'm just going to be like, I'm abundant. But if you don't believe it, it's not working. Yeah, if you just stamp it out. Or maybe it works a little bit and you start to attract a little bit more into your life and then you get that thing you want. But guess what, you can't keep it?

You with me? Can I ask you a question? So we talked about like career a little bit and being single and this belief that like you're going to be single forever and everything's terrible out there. But people in relationships, women that speak to you in your business, is there something you hear a lot from women, these and beliefs that you want to challenge them, people in relationships? And is it like, is this just, is this it? Is this relationship it? Like, do you have something that you hear time and time again from people in relationships? Yeah. I think that people in relationships, I've heard a lot of sort of struggles with

people getting activated by their partner. Yeah. Okay. So, so. The partners that we choose are often the greatest learning device. They're the greatest teachers because they trigger all of our parts. They trigger our young stuff. So you can either continue to grow and learn together or you can do your work and they don't do their work and you rise up and they fall off. Or the opposite, right? But it's the couples that actually are in the work together in whatever form that comes. So whether it's couples therapy or any form of personal development or both on your own journey.

journeys. So as long as you're healing and growing, there's hope. So you see a lot of like just contempt, sort of. Contempt, definitely. Like lots of middle-aged women in my world now. I mean, I think your audiences grow up with you, even though it's like less age-specific and gender-specific now. But I'm seeing a lot of, a lot of sort of like complacency or contempt or blaming and shaming of the partner because what are they triggering the parts of yourself you don't want to feel? I mean, long-term relationships are tough. Totally. You got kids into the mix? Yeah. So I was like, I have a kid, yeah. I have a six-year-old boy.

Okay. It's a lot of work. Yeah, for sure. It's a lot of work. So what do you say to somebody that's just like we're just out of place of contempt? I don't know. If you can afford it, get a couples therapist. Okay.

And if you can find it, get an IFS couples therapist. Mm-hmm. Okay. And if you can't? If you can't afford it, go pick up self-help and do it together. Yeah, do it together. I mean it. I like the idea of getting a book and doing it together.

Well, because that's about a world-renowned therapy that heals relationships, that heals a relationship to yourself. And the reason I decided to write my 10th book about this and democratize it is because not everybody can afford the therapy or they may not want to go to the therapy. So it's right there. Yeah. I wrote it for them. Go get it. So I wanted to circle back. I'm just curious of your, if I don't do it myself, it's not going to get done. And this, how is your life changed with? Is this in your personal relationship with your husband, with people you work for, work with? All of the above. with. Like, are you who have just relinquished control in some areas? Like, how has it looked? Yeah. I still have control and not in a not in an asshole way. Yeah, yeah, of course.

Like it's like I can run the show, but not as a chaotic person. We can ask Ria. She's in the room. I'm just kidding. One of my employees is here right now. But actually, you know, I will ask Ria and you could just scream to us. But like in the last like three months, do you feel like we're more structured? We're 100%. Yeah, 100%. Right. She's. saying 100%. So what did you do to change that? A lot of the work that's in that book, a lot of trauma recovery, a lot of IFS therapy, a lot of spiritual healing. It's, you know, like 20 years of hard work for overnight success, right? So it's not like I think that, okay, things are going to change. But what I'm here to say today is that things do change when you change. Sure. So did you

like notice the way you were scheduling things or the tone of your voice? I felt safer and side and I felt more trust inside. And trusting, like other people to get you done? It's trusting myself more. You trust yourself. And also what I did realize was I was the one I was waiting for. So I kept being like, oh, like, my husband who's the CEO is going to just like take over and fix everything. Or my chief of staff is going to fix everything.

Or there's a partner out there that's going to fix it. You know, then it did. And it's like, no, like you've been doing everybody else's job. But the actual job that you're meant to be doing, like the real job, which is like, being that guided leader and like telling people what you want clearly and like being clear right self having the courage to ask people to step up and do what you want right having the courage to to change people's roles and move things around all of that couldn't come until I trusted myself and so in that trusting place I've stepped up to be not doing everybody's job but to be clearly defining what I want other people to do

Was it showing up in your family, like with your husband? Absolutely. Same thing. I want to make sure that we have these boundaries of how we parent together. And I want to make sure that my needs are being met. And another reason this happened so rapidly was going through perimenopause. When you go through perimenopause, you have no more shits to give. Okay.

You literally are like, I cannot coexist with the old patterns that I lived with for so long. Like you just don't. You don't have the bandwidth to do that bullshit anymore. I didn't have the bandwidth to do everybody else's job anymore. Something had to give. I think a lot of people have stories like that where you just stop giving a fuck. I don't know because it's exhausting. It's not helpful.

And people do, obviously that can come with age, but there's various reasons why it's just like, I just don't, I don't fuck with that anymore. I don't think like that anymore. You know, I don't let that get me down anymore. There's a lot of women out there that are having a beautiful Perry Men and House conversation, Naomi Watts, Thames and Fidel and you've got Mary Claire Haver. and these amazing actresses out there talking about menopause. And I think the theme across the board, even Oprah, a lot of them are just really clear. Like, you just don't have any more for Chitsa Giv. Like, you just can't do it the old way anymore.

It just doesn't work. So you got to ask for help. You got to get the help and you had to ask for the help. And you also have to give yourself the help. Okay. Self help. That's right. So we want to talk about the evolution of this world of self-help and spirituality, I guess.

I mean, you've been doing this for so long. before obviously TikTok, you know, even really before the way that Instagram is now, of course. And like, what have you seen? I mean, do you have thoughts? I'm sure you have a lot of thoughts. Well, I think that some of what I've seen is not such a change in the spiritual conversation. I don't really think a lot of people are out there doing spiritual, too much spiritual work. Like, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe unless you guys see things differently. But I think a lot of people are like talking about manifesting or like doing a podcast and interviewing people. I'm not sure there's a lot of spiritual teachers out there per se. Okay. Do you think there are? I mean, I think there's a lot of microphones out there

there. I mean, I guess it depends on how you define teacher. And we talked about like TikTok therapists and people that are quote unquote self-help and who you take advice from because there's just so much noise out there today. And there's so many people telling you this is the perfect morning routine, which we were just talking about earlier on our show. And this is how you achieve your goals. This is how you manifest. I mean, there's just a lot of microphones out there. So it's like, Have we gone too far? Is there too much of this? Probably.

I mean, here's the thing. If wellness and self-help and spiritual principles are trendy, great. Like, I'd much rather that be the trend than like all the other crap out of it. Right. Like, great. Like, if you've got somebody on TikTok telling you to repeat a positive affirmation a thousand times to manifest your dreams and that helps you. Wonderful. Like, wherever you enter is doesn't matter.

And I'm not going to judge that, right? Enter where you resonate. Enter where you can enter. But I just definitely think you should be conscious and careful of who you're taking advice from. It doesn't mean that somebody has to have credentials. It just means that you trust that that person is doing their own work on themselves. Because to your point, there's a lot of talking heads and people talking about shit that off camera they would not be even doing for them. She's like, we hear some, we know when this mic goes off, you're a bad person.

Yeah. But like then I challenge myself to. That's been around since the beginning of time. I challenge myself to say like if anything that someone says allows a different person. to like make their life better, create a positive practice in their life, heal something, then like what's the harm, I guess? Yeah. If you hear something that heals you, it doesn't matter who you heard it from.

Right. It's just there have been plenty of instances where there's like fake gurus. And that would be a big thing to watch out for. Big thing, that guru culture, anyone that calls themselves a guru, run the other way. Okay. Run the other way. Good to know. Okay.

Do you feel like after all this time you're still learning new stuff? Every day. Okay. From who? From myself? Your own experience. Yeah. The inner work I'm doing from Dick Schwartz, who's the founder of IFS, from doing more

IFS work, from my therapist, from my, I'm reading a beautiful book about Exmomatic experiencing right now. I'm interviewing Peter Levine, who's like the godfather of trauma therapy. Okay. So just going to my teachers and just revisiting the tools. And but I think the greatest learning I have every day is my life experience. I like that you just say that it kind of never stops and this is a lifelong practice because I think some people are just like, I want to fix this today.

Yeah. I want to fix this problem today. I want to fix this wound today. And it's just little baby steps every day. Well, that's why I like that I have a four-step prescription that you can do once for one minute or two minutes a day. And what I can say to your listeners, I can promise them this. I'll look you in the eye.

If you make the commitment, I'll look you guys to do one minute a day these four steps, you will change your life, period. Okay. Like, done. Promise. Okay. I promise you. Yeah.

So if someone said to you, here's a pill that you can take that will change your life and help you manifest more, help you feel better inside, and help you feel too, you're fucking taking that pill, right? But if you're like, oh, you know what, there's a self-help book that says self-help in big red letters. And it's first time you have to, like, maybe you'll do it for like six days, seven days. Do you don't know? Like, this is a book for the willing. Like, you had to go all in. You had to be committed. One minute a day is all you need, though. That's the thing. It's a couple minutes a day, you know. This isn't like getting to a cold plunge or, you know, go like do this

thing for an hour. You're super committed to your Instagram feed. Just do this. Yeah. So you talk about trusting the universe. Yes. What's meant for me. You literally just took the word out of my mouth. Okay. Yeah. But like, I feel like I'm always like, but I challenge you. But like, to me, that's not, that's challenging universe and do this thing every, do an actionable thing every day. Well, what this is doing is putting you back into the energy of the universe because when you're in a calm energy, you're aligned with the universe. I'm also going to give you guys something.

I have a 21-day challenge in my app. I'll give you the app. It's called the trust of universe challenge. It's 21 days. And I made it for myself because I needed it right now. So in January, I was like, what are we going to make in the app? I was like, I want to make a 21-day trust the universe challenge. Okay.

Because I was in this new shift, in this newness of myself, and I wanted a realignment. My biggest book is called The Universe Has Your Back. And it just healed me to write it, and it healed so many people to read it. And it's a 10th anniversary of the book, and it's just coming out with a new cover and a new forward and all this stuff. So I was like, let's just celebrate with these principles and a challenge. And so the nice thing about that is it's literally like a three-minute practice a day to realign. And so whether it's that challenge or these steps, something subtle. It's the subtle shifts.

It's the small right actions. So like if somebody's like, I don't know what that means, trust the universe. Like what does that mean to you? You're a whole book about it. People should buy the book. But like it doesn't just mean like, well, just give it up to God and hopefully it works out. No. It means that you develop a spiritual faith or spiritual connection of your own.

Okay. It's not religious. It's not like I'm telling you. what mine is and how yours has to be. It's about choosing to see your life through the lens of possibility. Choosing to lean towards what is working rather than what isn't. Choosing to see obstacles as opportunities. Choosing to learn how to calm your nervous system through tools like this or through meditation.

And knowing that when you're in more of a joyful calm vibration, that you are in alignment with what we call the universe. Okay. Because the universe is the energy of joy. The universe is the energy of abundance. The universe is the energy of synchronicity and support and fun and positivity. And we are always tapped into that, but we're not always tuning into it. So it's always available.

It's always around, but we're not always tuning into that frequency. So it's like you've got your radio at a static frequency. you've got to tune up the radio, tune to the channel you want to be on. And just kind of like black and white feels you're aligned when you're feeling that like sense of calm and you're out of alignment when you're just feeling kind of frantic, anxious, all the above. Exactly. If you're in joy, you're calm, you're in the flow. Like when you're doing your comedy and you're totally in the flow and you're not thinking about what the next thing is that you're going to say and you're just sort of like in that joy and you've got the all of your beats inside of you. and, you know, you're just sort of like extemporaneous on the stage.

That's the universe. Right. It's like a high. Creative. But a bad show. Fuck you up. Bad show out of alignment, right? But how do you get back until I meant?

You go check in with the part of yourself that's like I'm fucked up because of my bad show and get a comment and then you come back out of it. Right. By the way, how many times you think I said fuck in this episode? Not as much as us. We'll do a counter. Yeah, definitely would. Yeah.

Yeah. So how can we use this to like make dating more fine? To believe in yourself, to get out there of a podcast. positive energy because I think that we've all tried to date with a negative energy and I think that you just, it becomes sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy. No one's out there for me. Everyone's terrible. Men are terrible. So how can we use this to make dating fun? You just answered your question with your question. Okay. How can we do this with making dating more fun? Make dating more fun. What is it that you find joyful in your life? Like what do you like to do? What's like a

fun, creative thing for you? Me personally, I love discovering new restaurants. I like going out to eat a lot. I like reading, like taking walks. I like to go to the beach. Travel is really big for me. I like working. I like talking about what I do for work. A lot.

I mean, we have a great business. I mean, all those things are really fun. I have a great social circle. My life's nice. Yeah. Okay. So do more of that. Okay.

That's number one. Okay. So do more of what brings you joy. Okay. Because why? When she was just talking like that, didn't she just like look so cute and so like alive and just like free and she's like I'm confident, right? Yeah.

Like I love my work. I'm really good. at my work. Yeah. That energy was sexy, honey. Thank you. That was sexy energy. Okay.

That's the energy that I want you to bring when you go on the date with we should call him right now. But I do. I feel like I come alive when I talk about what I do for work. Like a restaurant you really like. Like that's the thing. That's right. But that vibe that you're in, that's what I want you to do when you get on a date

with that. That's why you don't want to go like on a hike with somebody because you're not going to be in your back. We're doing this. We're going to leave a. voicemail. Manifest it. Pick up the phone, bro.

Pick up the phone. The call has been forwarded to voicemail. The person you're trying to reach is not available. We're going to leave a little message for him. Okay. Please record your message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up. I am sitting here on a podcast with your future wife.

Okay. And we're live. We're live recording this. You're going to have to like play it back and listen to it. And she lives in L.A. She's absolutely gorgeous. She has the most amazing career ever. She's got a sex toy company.

And she's everything. Oh, wait. Like not, oh my God, I was trying to set up with somebody else at a sex toy company too. I'm not kidding you. We'll just figure out who sex toys are better. He's going to fuck both of us. No, no, no, no, no, no. This is your, this is the sex toy woman.

Okay. And I'm literally live on the podcast right now. I hope you listen to this. I'll send you her number later. I know your game and she lives on the west side in L.A. Call us back if you get this actually. We're on, we're live on the show right now. Okay, I love you.

Bye. Okay. There he is. Look how cute he is. How old is he? He's like 45. Perfect age. I love it.

Never married. He's cute. Is he from New York? From grew up in Larchmont with me. I'm obsessed with these coasters. Yeah. I love them. Okay, I'm really excited.

I'm going to be honest with it. And he's a beautiful family. Like, he's just the guy. I just, I love you. He's going to love you. I'm excited. And I feel like I'm just, I'm really positive about dating. I've really been having a lot of fun.

Wait, are you dying? If you and you get married, can I officiate the wedding? Yes. Can I am. You're stepping down. Actually. Oh, right. You can be part of it.

I'm going to officiate her wedding, so I have to maybe re-sup work. You'll be up there. You tag team it. It's okay. You know what? If you're giving up. If it happens, you'll give it up. You give up quick, actually.

Or we'll do it together. She doesn't believe she's good enough. I'll just challenge that way. I'll do something else. Actually, actually, you can officiate. I'll just do a blessing. Actually, actually, her dream is to be the DJ of the wedding. Not the hype man.

Well, I'll emcee your wedding. Okay. Actually, I don't want to do that. I don't think you're going to want to write the playlist and that's about it. Okay. I mean, I kind of feel, I feel full body chills. Oh my God. I feel excited and I feel like I'm like really positive.

I'm attracting really good stuff. And I just, I feel really positive. A friend of my last night was like your energy is like really different recently. He's like, you feel lighter, you feel more fun. We're getting dick down more. So I just, I feel positive about this. Yes. And that joy and that vibe.

But I want you to keep coming back to like the energy that you were just in when you were talking about the job and your friends and your friends and your. your life and the restaurants and like that whole energy was just like just clear and beautiful and you were shiny and didn't feel like you were like making anything up. You're just being like matter of fact. That's the vibe that you go on the app with. That's the vibe that you go on the date with. That's the energy that you bring to all of these different.

Any action you take for the dude is through that, through that energy. I like that tip too. I mean, also if you're feeling negative, you're like, I want a date but you're feeling negative today, do something you're good at, do something you're proud of with people that you like. Yeah, I mean, I would say I met my fiancé on like one of the most fun times of our met, connected with it. I'd met him years ago. It's a long story. But like the most fun month of our career was like the wildest tour month ever. I just got off the pill. I felt like a new person. Like I just I look back and I'm like that. I mean, I always think our life is getting better. But May 2023 was like on a different level. It was just like the most fun. So it's been, you know, we're coming up on two years. But like I look back at that time and I was like we were never having more fun than that than May. 23. We were really on a high. We're on a theater show. That's the whole thing. Yeah. That's the whole thing, you guys.

Well, this is a great place to wrap up on the phone call. On the positivity and all of it. I read your book on the plane yesterday. I do actually want to ask that, like, I'm curious about the title. Like, was this what you would planned or did it come to you or like? It came pretty quickly. It's blunt. It's so blunt. Yeah. You were looking at me on the plane. Like, is she good? But that's the thing. You know, it's like you have to ask yourself. Like, I got to do a poll, real. Are you comfortable holding this book at a beach, right, at the beach or at the pool, on the subway or on the subway or on the airplane or, you know, on the park bench? If the answer is yes, then go read the book. If the answer is not yes, then just take the cover. Take the cover up.

I was letting the whole plane know yesterday that I need help. It's a good, why not? It's beautiful, yeah. It doesn't look like some, like there's a, I feel like there's a, What movie am I thinking of? And they're like crying in the self-help aisle of the bookstore. Like those doesn't feel like that anymore. No, but this, no, it's not. Then that's back sort of like the new wave of self-help and people are into it now. But I think that the thing about this book is that it was, so first of all, self-help, again, is the energy of that energy of self-help.

So self-help. Yeah. So that's, you know, this is all but connecting to self-energy to become your own inner healer. So that's the sort of play on words. But the reason that this book, this title and this cover was really meaningful to me is like, maybe it's not selling as many books as you could if you were like, the universe has your back, right? Like just the title on its own face, right? But it's a very important book for your own commitment to yourself. And so I think that it is a commitment to that one minute a day. It isn't like a magic pill. It is, you know, this is a, this is like a book

that's simple, but it's also giving you a tool and then everybody wants to do a tool. So I'd rather like read out the reader and say, are you willing to change your life? Are you willing to show Are you willing to do the work? I like that. And if you are, then this is your book. If you're not, then like, see you next year. Yeah. It does really scream at you from the book aisle.

Because eventually you'll get there. Yeah. You'll get there. I mean, you really does say, like, we're going to do some work today, you know? And if you're not ready to do that, maybe you pick up a different book. Or take the cover off. Or just take the cover off. Read it home.

Well, there's like a beautiful woman on the back. It's you. But we don't all have to be on a plane or a beach. I read it home. Yeah. Or listen to me, read it to you. I love an audio book. There is that.

Yeah. Yeah. You've a great voice. Yes. I've always really admired your voice. You're in your power. It's not that we have so much sexy baby voice out there and just kind of, I feel like women, not all, not all women, but some trying to kind of change their voice. We did a whole episode on voices.

I think that's such a nice thing to say because I do think that the voice and the tone of our voice and sort of how we, the sexy baby voice and sort of this, there is a new, I can fall into like Instagram girl voice easily, you know? Like, hi guys. Like, let's talk about it. And it happens, but it's not grounded and it's not authoritative. But it's not, you know, you don't trust it. Yep. Yep. So I've always thought that about you.

Yeah. Very measured and authoritative. Well, this was great. And I'm sure people are really going to want to find you and your app. Yeah. Well, definitely check out the Trust the Universe challenge. That's out right now. So if you go to Deargabby.com forward slash universe, definitely go try that out.

at Gabby Bernstein on social and my podcast called Dear Gabby with Dear Media as well, like you guys. And, you know, I think that a really nice place to start is a trust of universe challenge. Okay, go dive in. Great.

Self helps the book. Go for it. Yep. Get the book, you guys. And you can find us at Girls Gotta Eat.com. We are Girls Got to Eat Podcast on Instagram and TikTok.

I'm Ash Hess. Raina is reina. com for the vibrators we mentioned and subscribe on YouTube and share the episode with a friend and we will see you Thursday. Have a good week, guys. Bye.