Girls Gotta Eat - All About Anal (and Other Butt Stuff) with Dr. Evan Goldstein

Episode Date: February 6, 2023

It's our long-awaited episode all about anal (and other butt stuff) with Dr. Evan Goldstein, nationally renowned anal surgeon and founder/CEO of Bespoke Surgical. Dr. Evan explains the inner workings of our butts and the anal orgasm, and gives a step-by-step process for preparing your body/booty for anal sex. We're also answering those burning questions about poop, positions, eating ass, and more, and he shares the craziest things he's had to remove from someone's butt. Before the doctor comes in, we're recapping our first earthquake, introducing the newest addition to the GGE team, and discussing the concept of "planned happenstance" in dating. Bottoms up! Follow Dr. Evan Goldstein on Instagram @drevangoldstein, see more at his website, and check out The Future Method. Follow us @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit our website for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Shop Vibes Only. Thank you to our partners this week: HelloFresh: Go to helloFresh.com/gge65 and use code GGE65 for 65% off + free shipping. Buffy: Get $20 off your order at buffy.co and enter promo code GGE. Blueland: Get 15% off your first order at blueland.com/gge. Babbel: Get up to 55% off your subscription at babbel.com/gge. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You and I could go on the street and swab 20 random people, and I could tell you who takes it up the ass. And it's because there's the bacteria. Let's do this. Girls got to eat. Welcome back. My favorite month. Oh, it's February. It's February.

We should have moved in February so that this could have been your month. You like to always move in February? I love to do everything big in February. It really is my special month. I've said this. You know this. Why are you acting surprised? It's my special month. It's the shortest month and the most special month. I mean,

something is always going down. We started our tour. Well, we start the podcast. So next week will be our five-year anniversary. So we'll talk about that. We're starting back our tour. We just did. You know, this is like was Dewey's birthday, gotcha day. It's when I moved to New York. Oh, we're on the Today show today. On the Today show today. If you're listening to Newt today. Yeah. We'll be on today. No, I just, you know I love this month. And now it's like, it doesn't have to be shitty cold. Killing it.

Snow. It's even better. Arriving. Oh my God. I got late so much last February. I was just thinking it last February. I did too. I got so much.

February was really, I mean, not so much. I just had like a really fun, we had a fun tour last February and really just got in one condensed period of time with one person. Wait, you know what's funny? We're doing a butthole. episode today, but sex episode. And last, last February, someone told me I had a perfect butthole. Oh, yeah. And he lives near me now. Maybe I'll tell him to come over and look at my butthole. That would be the best text. You want to come, you want to come looking at this butthole?

Gaze into this brown eye. For old times' sake, he was my first visitor at the house in Venice when I moved in recently. So, but he didn't look at my butthole that day. You know what? Next time he just comes over, just open the door, butthole out. He brought a friend over. Bet over. Can you imagine? You open the door, bet over,

you're grabbing your ankles, your butt holes in the air, and he's like, this is Raina. He's like, this is my roommate, John. This is the girl's butthole I told you about. What are that guy's like,

her bottle wasn't as nice as you said it was. Oh my God. Meanwhile, you're like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. You're pulling your pants up. Everything's awkward. Jeremy's making eggs. And he's eating his feet in the living.

room. Jeremy's like, now that I haven't seen before, I don't care. The guy that I fucked last February, you know my thing about him. I feel like he didn't know I had any other body part than my butt. He couldn't stay out of it. I could feel him like doing me doggy, like looking at it. Like I was like, I have tits too and other stuff of vagina.

They don't care. Like he really was such a butt guy. Some people just really wanted to. Then I knew how to get him with like sex. and stuff after that. What'd you say? Well, you know, I have that, like... I don't get this butthole.

You know, I have that picture when I was playing croquet in the Hamptons, and like, it just looks like I have this donk. I mean, I didn't do anything to it. It's just the way I'm bent over. It's my pants. Like, I have it on my rye, obviously. You didn't face it on your butt in here. No, it's...

I'm just saying it's like, yeah. I mean, you can look like you have the best spot in the world. You can edit whatever you want. It's just totally natural. It was a really good shot. And so, you know, I like, you know, you know how to draw people in based on the body part that they're into. Anyway, this is a great intro for this episode.

Okay, so we are... I just want to go through my list. We are recording a little bit farther out, so this will be kind of dated, but a lot of you guys won't even know about it. But I do want to address something that happened us here in L.A. What happened in L.A.?

Our first earthquake. It was my first earthquake. You don't even know about it. I know. That's why I wanted to talk about this. Like, this is such an interesting thing. Like, you felt it, I didn't. So it happened.

It was off the coast in Malibu, so you're like, much more inland than I am, so you might not have felt it. It was like a 4.2. Right. And the way you just said that was like, you know a lot about the Richter scale. You said it was such authority. Maybe I do. Okay, so maybe because our friends asked us,

we went to dinner with Ali Colbert and her fiancé Julie in the night before. And then they had asked us if they lived near you. Right by me. So it was really so crazy because I've never experienced an earthquake. Me too. It doesn't happen. And I woke up and two things kind of happened to one. So I was already disoriented.

Jeremy is staying with me. Again, this is going to be dated by then. But Jeremy is staying with me and he got home from a date at like two in the morning. He was like rumbling around in the house. And I got up and I was like, and I had been drinking a little bit. I was like, is that you were a burglar? And he's like, it's me.

Shut up, go to bed. So I got back in my bed and I fell asleep again. And then the entire house rocked. And my bed rocked. And I was like, like out of it because you're just asleep and I was like I envisioned that and I like went back to sleep it like shook so hard but I it wasn't like so much like I'm not like it was coming off the walls or anything you know what did it feel like also like earthquakes caused a lot of damage I don't

romanticize earthquakes and be like I don't want to sit here and be like I'm so sad I missed it like is a negative thing right but I mean I just but only 4.2s aren't that negative it's fine okay right it would know apparently so it felt like someone was like like shaking the bed. It's like somebody rocked the whole bed. Like what Mormons do when they're soaking and they shake the bed. So it feels like you're fucking. Yes, like that.

We're just coming off Salt Lake City. Yeah. Thank you guys for coming. Yeah, it rocked the bed really hard. Nothing was like falling off the walls or anything. Make your bed wrong. Ooh. And then I went back to sleep and it happened again a second time.

What? And then I got scared because you're like, is this going to, you don't know. It's like turbulence on a plane. You're like, it's going to happen again? Yeah, no, it is scary again. I don't want to. But I was out of it and I was a little drunk. So the next morning I woke up.

And I start Googling Los Angeles earthquake yesterday. And I was like, this is so embarrassing. I told Ashley. I thought there was an earthquake last night. And it said that there was one. Okay. So it can be a thing of not feeling it if you're farther inland, I guess, if it happened. That's my dad told me.

Okay. Yeah. My dad. The whole family is experts, apparently. That is true. No one knows less about stuff than my dad. Oh, my gosh. Okay.

Really quick. I want to make an announcement. want to announce a new member of the team. Oh, yeah. Because we've said the name Tessa, so I feel like people are like, who the fuck is that? Because people like listen so closely. So just to update you guys, we know you're super invested in the brand and the people that work for us, some of you, maybe some of you're like, we don't care, but some of you

probably care. And Bella is no longer with us. She's alive. She just doesn't work for Girl's Gotty anymore. And obviously, we love her. and we support her and it was... Amicable. Yeah, of course.

I mean, it was just, she was such an important part of the business and we just wish her all the best and it was really sad to see her go. But Tessa is with us now and she is here with us in L.A. And we love her and she'll be on tour with us. So if you see her on the side of the stage on tour,

you know, wave hello. And I really like where I sit to record because I have like a direct eye line to her and I just see her laughing all the time while we record. Yeah. You're looking the other way. I know. I like to have an audience. It helps me to like get it up a little bit and know I'm being funny. So yeah,

so welcome to the family. Yeah. I have to tell you what just happened to me in the car. It was like really embarrassing. So I parked outside. I was waiting. I've been like, I had a little bit of extra time when I parked outside of the studio today. It must be nice to have extra time. Well, you like to be late. I don't like it. I can't help it. I can't help it. I can't help it. I can't help it. Well, allegedly it means that we're optimistic because we always think we have time. No, it would be sure it's an asshole. I love you. I'm trying to get better.

But, you know, yeah, everybody has their flaws. Yeah. So, well, the nice thing about having a studio space is that we actually have to be on time. I'm enjoying it. Well, and you just have to leave a lot earlier. So I do. But anyway, so I parked the car at some time. So I was like, I'll just get ready in the car.

So the most L.A. thing ever, I clipped my hair extensions in in my car. Oh my God. Sitting outside of the studio. And then I look up and I look to my right and I'm parked outside. And there's all these guys in the window of a barbershop while I'm clipping in my weave. You're like, ma'am, I can help you with that. There's like six guys just looking at me and laughing at me, pulling my two weaves apart, clip in a man. It was like a very L.A. moment for me to like put my hair in a car.

That's so funny. Barbershop was very funny. My moment driving here was me driving down sunset, no first. faster than 20 miles an hour singing, money ain't a thing out the window in my rented Jeep compass. Like, I love that song. I feel like he's such a baller. I'm like, top down screaming out money and a thing.

And it's just like the Ferrari or Jaguar. I'm in the Jeep compass, just like a cheaper Jeep crotch hairkey, I'm pretty sure. I'm crawling along. Wind's not even picking up my hair. Just blasting the song singing at the top of my lungs. It felt nice. fun. We had a nice little journey over here today. Yeah. So we are in February. Valentine's is coming up. However you guys want to spend it, valentines, Galantines, solo, not celebrating at all,

whatever. But of course, we have the perfect thing for anything that you may be doing for self-love or with your partner. And that is, of course, our line of sex toys and the paired app. So you guys can go to Vibes only. We have the new vibrating butt plug, the Annalise. Rina's holding up if you're watching on YouTube. And we're going to be talking about. about more butt stuff today. And we have lube and the blowjob gel and the massage oil. And then, of course, all the other toys. Lucy is incredible. That is our three and one bullet. The Raina, of course, the top seller. The old trusty Ashley. The Gigi Pandy vibe and a new color. Really sexy for Valentine's Day, the new dark Merle color. I love her new color. And just everything. So you guys

check it out. And of course, within the vibes only app, I mean, if you don't have a Valentine, your Valentine's in there. You want a cowboy. You want a sexy Dom. You want an athlete. Once you're X to have phone sex with, whatever you guys can want, you can get in there. There's erotic audio stories, and they pair with the app, and it's just incredible. You can get in there for free. You can use the remote control for all of the toys. They're all Bluetooth connected. You can use that for free.

And then sample some stories, see if you're into it. And then, of course, subscribe and you get access to all of the content, every feature, all the things. And we have a really fun partnership. This is really our first brand partnership for vibes only. And it's such a good fit. It's such a sexy, hot, trendy brand right now. Ray, it's going to tell you guys a little bit more about it. Yeah, so we are going to do a really fun giveaway with them for you guys for this Valentine's Day. So it is with an amazing shoe brand.

It's called La Rudei, and it is the coolest shoe brand. I'm just really loving looking at their website. It's so bomb. It's really high-end. We see all these celebs wearing their stuff. They really have something for everybody. I'm just like looking at these pattern pumps and the boots. Yes, the boots. I mean, I'm obsessed with everything. Like, you know, I feel like stuff just can all look the same, you know, even when there's trends, it's like someone's going to knock it off. Like these designs I just haven't seen anywhere. It's like it makes sense. Like all these celebrities are wearing them.

And, you know, they're at their higher end. They're a higher price point. It's a luxury brand. We're obsessed with it. You're going to start seeing us in the shoes. Our shoes are on the way. And the deal is that the first 30 people who buy a pair of Lower Day shoes on Valentine's Day are going to get a free Raina vibe.

Yeah. So their whole thing is comfort. So they're going to be comfortable. Treat yourself on Valentine's Day. Get a pair of these shoes. They're so bomb. So save the date. you know, like get ahead of it.

Oh, yeah. Say the Valentine's Day. For Valentine's Day. Ashley and I wake up in the morning, order your shoes. Might get a Raina. Yeah. Okay, so I wanted to play this Instagram voice note from someone who follows me.

Like, I don't, her name's Courtney. I don't really know her. We've DMed a couple times about like my jumpsuits and stuff like that. So this is like a friend. I just want to say this is someone who randomly. And, you know, I do get voice notes from time to time. I'm like, I don't know. You don't know who's want to open a voice note from a stranger.

I've gotten a weird ones. That one that the girl was like, I fucked your ex. Remember that? That was crazy. That was insane. I just really liked this. And so I was going to play it for you guys. And I thought we could maybe talk about it.

I haven't told you anything about this. Okay. All right. Let's play it. Hi, Ashley. Snackhead here. I just listened to the episode, the Atomic Habits. I don't know his name.

The guy that wrote Atomic Habits. Okay. I get the point. And he was kind of like, it struck me when he said, is there luck involved in meeting somebody? Yeah, there is luck. And it made me think of this concept called planned happenstance. And it's actually a counseling theory. I'm working on my master's in counseling right now. And it's just this idea that like you can plan for unplanned things to happen to you. So like you guys have talked about this on the show, but like you can plan to go to a yoga class and go out

twice a week or whatever in the hopes that like you may get lucky and something will happen to you. So it's kind of like putting yourself in situations where you can be lucky or network or whatever it might be. First of all, I just want to say I love, I really love her voice. I know. We have an episode coming up about voices, which we're really excited about. Oh, yeah. But I like this idea and I think about it a lot when I think about like online dating versus

meeting people in the wild. and like I think a lot about how am I going to meet somebody. You and I've been talking about this. And I don't want to do online dating and you can put yourself in situations where you're going to meet somebody. So you can't execute on a date the way that you would going on a dating app, asking somebody out because you're there to do that. But if you put yourself in situations where you're not sitting on your couch, you can happen to meet somebody. So I like this theory a lot. I know. Did she say the name planned happenstance? Planned happen. Okay, got it. Yes, I loved her voice too. Hi, Ashley. Like, it was just so cute. Like, I'm so glad that I opened that and took the time to listen to it because she also wrote like

planned happenstance and I was intrigued by that. I love it too. I mean, you talk about different things all the time, like luck. I think there is luck involved in our business, but with also everything that we had done before and the situations that we were putting ourselves in. Obviously, we've been on this trip and hard work, of course. But luck is obviously how we came together and. and turned out to be such good partners in business and friends and everything like that.

So I just, I like discussing that. I think everything is like a mixture of different variables, but putting yourself in those situations so you could quote unquote get lucky. I really do love that. And I think you can even break it down into like what your week looks like if you're single, for example. I love how we talked about with Jay. He was talking about how you play in your week where you're like two nights with your

partner or three nights with your partner and then with your other friends and then alone and things like that. You can actually like map out a calendar of like, here are the situations I'm going to put myself in this week if you want to meet somebody. And so I just thought that was really relevant because you and I have been talking about this and we're really motivated to date here. But it's kind of like, where do we meet people? You know, we meet more people than most probably because we're out and about and I do comedy

and things like that. But we're not thrilled about doing the apps. I am on Raya, but we prefer the wild. So I love that concept. You guys. You just keep it in mind. So thanks to Courtney. I'm really glad you brought that up.

And I think about this a lot because I'm not. one of those people that believes everything happens for a reason or if it's supposed to happen, it will. Like, I don't really just sort of like give it up to God as much. You do. Great. That's great. I love that other people can believe that. But I believe in putting myself in situations where I'm going to at least maximize my chances of something happening. So I'm not one of those like if it's meant to be, if it's meant to be, he'll find me on my couch type of girls. You know, I want to go out. And you and I've been going out so much more. And we've been meeting a lot of people. Yeah. And not everybody has the opportunity to go out all the time. Some people are just exhausted.

and they have to go to an office all day long, and they're like, I'm not fucking going out of the bar. Or they're more introverted. It's just as though naturally. I always want to validate that. Yeah, but you and I are like, we don't necessarily want to be single for the rest of our lives. We want to meet a guy in L.A. and dating and have sex and have fun. And I feel that as we've been going out more, we've just been meeting a lot more people. I've met like a bunch of guys that I thought were like really cute and great.

So you've got to put yourself in those situations. And then hopefully the luck will come. Yeah. So I'm really glad you brought that up. I love this concept. Okay. Okay. Okay.

We're going to talk about anal. Get into it, literally. Okay, guys, we are really excited about today's episode and guest. He is a nationally renowned anal surgeon and the founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical, The Leading Private Practice, specializing in an elite standard of sexual health and wellness care in New York City. He is a resource for many media outlets like men's health, Cosmo, Huffington Post, New York Magazine, and more. He was named one of New York City's top LGBTQ-plus business leaders by Cranes. Please welcome to the show, Dr. Evan Goldstein.

Thank you. Thanks for having me. I can't wait to spread the anal all over the world. We can't wait to dive into butthole stuff with you. Welcome. We're really so glad to have you. We are so excited about this episode. We have questions. Our audience has so many questions. And let's just get into it. So, Dr. Evan, why are you so excited about buttholes to begin with? How did you get into this line of work? Let's talk about it. Oh, my God. I think it wound up more finding me. You know, I came out later in life, met my partner, and started to kind of analyze what I was doing in life, specifically in surgery. I was trained and training more for heart surgery. So I went from hearts to asses. How did that happen? The two most important things in a relationship.

Exactly. I just started to see that there was a huge need in the community, specifically the gay community at first. And then obviously it branched out to realize that anal is totally vogue as we're talking about it now. Everybody is into it. Everybody should be into it. And there's lots of things that can go wrong. And I started to say, well, where do people go? Where do people get the education?

And it's a failed sexual education. It's just crappy all over the place. And let alone even in the medical space. So I started this practice about 12 years ago and started to really understand how does things heal? How do people engage sexually? It starts to really ask a lot of,

questions and then really figure out how do we allow people to do what they want with whom they want whenever they want and how they want and be supportive in a non-judgmental way. Wow, we love that. Amazing. I was really excited when we posted on Instagram, you know, what questions do you guys have about anal sex? We got so many questions. I still think it is a little bit of an uncharted territory for some people, even though it is, as you said, so in vogue to do butt stuff these days. I mean, just a little background about myself. I haven't really really. loved anal in general, and it's been like my goal to start liking it more and playing with that area. And even though I'm so such a sexual person, I have not loved it as much or learned how to love it

as much as I want to. So I think it's probably uncharted for a lot of people. Yeah, I have not done anal. I'm saving that whole for marriage, but I do like butt stuff. So really just anything anyone wants to do back there, they can just have at it, you know, so. That's awesome. You know, the like tongue, finger, whatever, toys, whatever. But, but. I think we just should start with technical. Why does anal feel good? Why is it pleasurable? Why are we in that hole in the first place, in and around it?

Yeah, I mean, you know, obviously there's positive nerve endings for everything, specifically anally. When you're talking about analingus and licking and rubbing and all the external stuff that you're doing, it's pleasurable. There's positive sensations in that. And it just helps from foreplay, from getting off your orgasms, are completely enhanced when you start to bring anal into the mix. And specifically, you know, prostate bearing, non-prosate bearing,

there is so many nerve endings that provide that accelerated orgasm or that enhanced orgasm. And the reality is that, yes, it's still taboo. It's still tough to talk about, you know, people, you know, even just talking about shitting and going to the bathroom, people just don't talk about these things. But what I see is that the key for us is to do things like this, where we dispel people's myths, we talk about it, we normalize the conversation to say, anal is fun and it's supposed to be enjoyable. And one of the big things, it's not supposed to be painful. You're not supposed to bleed. You're supposed to enjoy what you're doing.

And so the key for this is like, well, how do you get into anal and do it the right way and create the sexual education so that, You're able to have all the pleasures and not negative ramifications. Okay. So one thing that you brought up that I would love to dive into is the prostate. And if you don't have a prostate, can women have orgasms from anal? Why do men seem to have more orgasms from anal than women? Is that even true? Let's talk about the prostate and that area.

Yeah. So the prostate is clearly stimulated in that cavity. So when you're engaging anally, you're literally going to be hitting and rubbing the prostate. And from a prostate perspective, when it gets engorged, when it gets fluid filled, it creates an orgasm that people would never feel before. So when you look at really getting a prostate fully, really in that space, it's pretty impressive. It's amazing. People don't know where the prostate is. So just for our listeners, the prostate's about five to seven centimeters inside. And it's towards the front of the ass. So it's more towards the testicle penis region. And it varies

in terms of the location. But the key is, is that when you're engaging, whether it's through fingerplay, whether it's through toys, whether it's through penetrative work, the thing is that this senses that. You feel that. It gets stimulated. And then it creates this prosthetic orgasm. When the prostate isn't there, you still have so much positive nerve. endings, especially in females, the area of where the prostate would have been, the rectum and the vaginal canal, the rectum and the vagina are so thin walled, it's so close that a lot of times when people are stimulating anally, they're actually stimulating the vagina, the cervix, and all through the rectal wall because it's so thin. If I put my finger in your tushy right now,

I could literally palpate the vagina. You could feel that right through the wall. When a female has an orgasm from anal, obviously you said it can be like hitting the vagina, but what is it actually from? It's transference of positive nerve endings, right? There's so much nerve endings both vaginally and also in the anal canal. Got it. But they're all very right next to one another.

Okay. So the stimulation that's there is very similar to where people would get the prostateic orgasm. And it's kind of the A spot. as we would call it. Okay. So when people say, like, why does my man want to finger his butt? Because he's a clint in his butt,

because it feels good. Yes, it feels really good. I think the key for people to know is that where I see people get into injury or have difficulty, or they say, hey, anal sex is not fun. I just don't feel pleasure out of it, is that people think you can go from nothing

to something huge right away. And the reality, especially in female skin, the skin anally is very, very thin. So what happens is that if you go from nothing to something big, it tears. It's painful. The muscle stays really tight and spasms. And then you're like, shit, this sucks. I don't want to have this happen.

So I think the key for people to understand is that if you say, hey, I do want to engage anally, it's a process. If someone comes to my office, it's about six weeks of using toys, understanding anatomy, me learning the techniques that I would suggest so that you're able to do what you want, when you want, and be successful at it. I love reminding people that these things are sometimes a process, whatever it is. You know, stand-up comedy, podcasting, anal sex. You don't come out of the gate as a pro, day one, you know, perfection.

So we have a lot of false misconceptions from stuff we see in pop culture, in the movies, whatever it may be. And you don't see the leading up to the anal where you're prepping. and doing all this stuff. So I think people can get a little nervous and anxious about like, I just start, I just go right in. I just take a dick in the butt right out of the gate.

And that sounds like that's not what would be the safest or best bet or most comfortable. Yeah, 100%. I mean, I think the key for this is really more of how do you really learn your own anatomy first. I usually tell people you're exploring on your own. You want to understand anally. There's two things.

It's not overtly very complicated. It's skin. and it's muscle. How does the skin relax? How does it fully open? And how does the muscle relax? And you're learning how to control all of that. There's three types of muscles in everybody's ass.

If you squeeze your ass right now, ladies squeeze. Doing it. Are you squeezing your hole? Squeezing my hole. I'm doing like a kegel in my bottle. Those are what's called the external and superficial sphincter. So there's two sphincters that you're able to keep closed all day so that you don't poop on the street, right?

There's an internal sphincter. That's the one that you and I don't have much control over. That's the one that may be frustrating in anal, especially if you tried it before, where you're like, I feel like I'm trying to relax. I feel like I'm relaxed, but I can't enjoy it or someone can't get fully in me. That muscle is called the internal sphincter.

That's the one that you have to really learn How do you control that in some capacity to get everything to open? So if someone comes to my office and they're like, I want to engage in anal, we say, okay, let's talk about anatomy, skin, muscle. When I'm doing an exam, I talk to them about those muscles specifically and how they function. And then we start with toys. I like glass toys. Glass itself is just so easy. It picks up the lube.

It creates good friction. and we'll talk about friction. But the key is how do you go from nothing to something big? It's all about incremental components. And so with that said, it's like using a small toy for literally two to three weeks, just using a small toy. Meaning, pretend like you're going to the gym. Give me two to three days a week, two sets of 12.

That's it. That's all you have to do. And I usually tell people, do it like when you're in the shower. Okay. Now I'm on board. If you mention anything sexual in relation to a body of water, Ashley just instantly comes. I literally know what I'm doing when I get home after this is taking our new butt plug

and get in the shower. That's it. So turn the shower on, get yourself really in a relaxed state. Obviously a lot of lube. I like silicone lube, especially anally, because it really is the best to get things in. a good space. Make sure that the toys that you're using are compatible with silicon. Some of the rubbers and silicons themselves, they're not as compatible and they eat away at the toy. That's why I think

glass is really great. And the key is you're literally going to enter and you'll hit the first muscle. You'll relax, you'll take it out, relubricate the toy, go back in again, hitting the first and maybe the second muscle. And each time you'll see that the muscles will slow. start to kind of relax. And you may get to the first and second muscle and say, hey, I've had enough for today. And that's fine. You then say, okay, stop, take a couple of days off and then retry. And what you'll see is that over time, you'll really start to learn how to control the pelvic floor and how to get these muscles to fully relax. And the main component, especially in female skin is by using these toys, you're creating the skin to get tougher. So I usually equate to

like, let's say you and I are going to the gym and we're lifting weights. You get calluses from the bar, right? When you're using in the gym, it's the same concept. If you're using a toy in the skin, what's going to happen is the skin is going to toughen and get stronger so that now if you are having sex, it's not going to tear. That's the main key. So the consequence is, how do you use the toy, small toy, small into medium, small, medium into large, over four to six weeks a couple of times a day to slowly start getting yourself into a groove that you're really able to understand how to engage correctly. I'm glad that we're just normalizing doing this to yourself. Honestly, I mean, so many people said as, how do I get into this? And it's like, how do you get into anything? It's a little uncomfortable at first.

know? So I think it's nice to normalize. Like, if you are like, I don't necessarily like this, but I want to learn how to like it. My partner really likes this. So I want to try for them. Or maybe you just want to like expand your sexual repertoire. They're like, you got to just do it yourself. I don't hate it. I think it's really cool. And I've been trying to get into it more. And I have done stuff like this to myself. Yeah. Why not? Well, we just released our butt plug. So it is silicone. We obviously, you pair that with a water based lubricant. We love both of these things. I love the idea of glass. I love that. But ours is like really, it's hard. It's not going to, you know, It's firm, and we designed it over and over and over again for the right size.

We tested these things, and the neck was so important, and especially, you know, these can be used for any gender, but that women have a little bit slimmer. What is it? Botholes. Well, like, where it's going to, whatever. So, yeah. So, but my question for you is, are you stretching out your butthole? So meaning, like, are you going to get too loose? Is that what I mean?

Well, yeah, let's answer that question. Like, what are you stretching out? loosening in it. Could you walk down the street and just poop? No. The only times that I've ever seen that type of stuff is much more into like fisting, larger toys, a lot more of the anal play.

Okay. I think the key component is in the beginning, we're working on dilation so that you're able to open and understand the right ways to engage. But once you start getting into the groove, you're not only going to dilate, you're going to contract, you're going to hold, you're going to do kegles,

You're going to keep it. It's like going to the gym. It's no different. There's days that you're going to stretch the bicep, and then there's other days that you're going to contract it. And so you have to think, the ass, it's the uncharted territory, but the reality is it's just fucking muscle. And how does muscle react everywhere else in your body?

And that's the key component to this. So for run-of-the-mill anal and using toys and being aware from an educational perspective of what you need to do, no, you're not going to shit on the street. So I would move that out of the equation. We can walk that back. That's extreme. Like, I just think in general dispelling a myth of like, I'm stretching my butthole out, you know.

Is it the same thing as like, I mean, I've taken a lot of dick in my life and I can barely get a finger up myself. So is it the same thing? I think some of that is also the pelvic floor for you to understand that there's a spectrum, right? There's people that are way too loose. And then there are people that are way too tight. And the key is that we're trying to bring the tightness into the normal range. So I'm not asking you to go to the loose side, right? I'm asking you to say, hey, like, I want to take dick.

I want to take toys. And I can't because I'm too tight or I'm very restrictive. Right. So now it's like, okay, how do we use toys? I do a lot of anal Botox. So a lot of my practice is anal Botox because let's say you're starting to use these toys. and you're like, God, you know, I feel like I can't relax or it's too painful. When you're using the toys, that's what's such a great barometer for you to define success.

Because if you're still having issues, then maybe you need to see us at bespoke surgical or someone that does what we do. Because at the end of the day, there could be hemorrhoids, there could be a tear. There could be something innately an issue, whether it's from shitting or sex or whatnot, that's limiting you. And so the key is that by using toys on your own, because I see people from all over the world, it's a great test for you to see like, hey, can you control mind-body? Can you get the pelvic floor to relax?

Can you get the skin to accommodate to what you want? And how do you feel? And then as you're doing that, you're kind of checking in with yourself to say, hey, this is awesome. I'm fucking progressing really well and I'm getting ready to fuck, right? or you're saying, hey, there's something not right. What's the next steps? And for some of them, it is anal Botox to give relaxation

because they're way too on the spectrum of being too tight in that area. Okay. Can we just gloss over anal Botox? Where does that injection go? And as far as we know from Botox, it paralyzes the muscle. Is it doing that same thing? Yes. So remember we spoke with the three muscles,

so two that you control and one that you don't. So the Botox mostly goes into the one that you can't control. That is the one that in a lot of people is way too tight. So like I said before, they feel like, hey, mentally I feel like I'm relaxed. Why can't I receive? And then this muscle is way too tight. Or you have a tear and the tear isn't healing because when you get cut in the ass, your muscle is really tight.

It's pain. It's angry at that tear. So by giving Botox, you're basically, decreasing the pressures, paralyzing that, allowing everything to heal and or allowing people to get back. It lasts for about three to four months. Like on your face. Most of the time we do one or two or maybe three sessions to get people to where they need to go. And it's not the looseness.

Remember, it's like they're way too tight. It's bringing their pressure into a normal range. Thank you for explaining that. And I think that even for me and for other people, you're like, but it hurts and is there ever going to be a way for me to feel better or to not feel pain? Some people are like, I feel pain. Am I ever going to not feel pain? And I like to that, the answer is no, right?

Even without doing Botox. But if you're somebody that's like I experienced pain the couple times I tried it, it's not always going to be like that as long as you kind of work the muscle a little bit. Totally. I think it's working the muscle on the skin and understanding the anatomy and really what you're trying to do. It's very, very incremental steps. I just see so many people looking at porn or that.

their partners are just like, fuck it, honey, turn over. Let me stick it in. And you're like, hold on a second. That's not how the ass works. It can't work like that. It's just the skin is too thin. The muscles aren't understanding what needs to be. The mechanism of the ass is just how do you poop and get things out?

It's not understanding the concept of in. And that's what you're doing over time to train and evaluate where you are. Will fingers help or you really recommend a toy? So I like fingers, but I will tell you a couple of things with fingers. One is that it's kind of weird to finger yourself. It's just a weird angle, right? Two is that people don't, you know, they have nails. And for some reason, I find that a lot of people when they're fingering like to pluck.

I don't know. It's just this thing of like, you know, like when you're coming out of the ass, you're like, you're catching the corner and then people tear. from fingers. I mean, any nail I can't imagine. Like, I mean, anyone that's put a finger on my butt, it's like, you know, a guy that has no nail. It's like down to the finger. Like any, I can't even imagine. It makes me like cringe to think of a nail in my butthole. I can't finger anybody's butthole. I have like really long nails. I would fuck somebody up. So it's a problem. Don't, don't with the nails. Now, you can put on a glove in the beginning so that, you know, taking the

nail out of the equation and you're obviously loving that. Now, the nice thing about fingers is that you could feel that all the different muscles we're talking about. You could feel the first muscle and be like, oh, that's the first muscle. This is the second. So when someone comes to the office, when I'm doing an exam, and we're talking to educate people, I'm usually using a camera and a scope, but then I'll do a finger examination where I'm like, okay, this is muscle one. Let's try to see if we can get that to relax. Let's talk about muscle number two. Now, the thing is, is that a lot of the toys, a lot of people feel like you put a butt plug in and leave it in. But that doesn't work well with understanding the anatomy. So what really needs to be is you need to push it in, hold it there, three seconds,

and then let it come completely out. Relubricate, go back in a little bit further. A lot of the necks, what happens is when you leave it in there, if you look at where the muscle goes around the neck of the butt plugs, it's not stretching the muscle and the skin. Right. So what winds up happening is that you're not really working what we're trying to on an anal dilation. Yeah, that makes so much sense. Yeah, it's just sitting in there on the thinnest part.

Exactly. So the key is in the beginning, now some people, after you become more experienced and you feel like that, you get off with that, you feel the sensations and you like that, I'm totally cool with butt plugs. Just wear it all day. In the beginning, just don't let the muscle go over into the body. that neck range because it's not really accomplishing what we're trying to do with strengthening the skin and getting the muscle to relax. Does that make sense? Totally. Well, and that's, yeah,

I mean, if we want to have the visual, like, here's the neck we're talking about. Like, this is where that muscle is going to go over. So it's the teeny, tiny, skinniest part. If it's just sitting in there, you're not actually stretching the muscles. Sure. You're not. Exactly. So I think that the key in the beginning is on an anal trainer kit, on a dilating kit, is kind of like traffic cones, small, medium, and large, where you're not basically having or utilizing that neck. You're really understanding how do I work the skin and how do I work the muscle. And a lot of this is mind-body. I say a lot of what I do is 60% functional, 40% mental.

Because again, when someone's coming into my ass, my inclination is to squeeze tight and not let someone in. So how do you overcome that and learn the right ways to engage? And that just takes time. And for some people, we do some studies in the office where we measure muscle pressure. It's called an anal monometry test. And we're able to actually tell what type of bottom you are. There's three types of bottoms. One that completely relax, meaning you say, hey, I want to enter you.

And they're like, they open up and they're ready to receive. Okay. That person is about 30% of the world can do that. Now, the other two-thirds can't do that. It's just closed in some capacity. And that's where a lot of toy work, Botox, physical therapy, and understanding that anatomy allows people

to get to where they want to be. Okay. So we talked about pain and loosening up. Can we talk about cleanliness and preparing your butthole? Because I'm sure people are like, well, is poop going to get on somebody? I mean, it's probably number one question, right? Yeah.

Let's talk about poop. I will, listen, I just have this. I'm going to share a disgusting story. And I swear this scarred me for life was my old dog who has since passed RIP. He needed a fecal sample. And we were at the vet and he wouldn't go outside. He'd already poop that day. I just remember.

I was being like, what are we going to do? We need the sample. And the doctor just stuck his thumb in his ass and pulled it out. And I lost my mind. I know. I'm really sorry. But I swear ever since that, I was like, there's just poop sitting in our butts and I know he's a dog.

But like ever since, I can't shake the feeling that it's always just there. She has another story. She tells me once a quarter that grosses me out, but this might have topped it. So is there just poop always? No, there's not just poop always there. So the human body is actually pretty miraculous. If you think of the anal canal where, you know, toys, cock, whatever goes, it's actually nine times out of 10, there's no poop there.

When stool gets to that spot, you feel it and you feel like you got to go poop. And so it's basically a conduit, meaning stool is much higher. In the morning, you stand up, you're ready to go to the bathroom. The stool moves into the position and then you go. And I tell people, don't clean yourself out when you're doing toy work on your own. Use the toys with the lube and show yourself that nine times out of 10, there's not going to be shit on your toy. So you get confident. So that you can really understand where and what we're talking about.

Now, a couple of things I would say, fiber is key. Pre and probiotics are key. Good diet, more high protein, more of fiber, leafy greens, all of these things start to kind of bulk the stool. Now, just like your dog's shit, when you watch a dog poop, she's going to lose it. Wait a second until she swallowed the water. How dare you? I'm taking a drink. When you watch the dog, take your bottle.

R-I-P. Okay. When you watch a dog go to the bathroom, they don't wipe a lot because they're high in fiber. The stool comes out and it's like kind of nice, right? That's how I poop. Those dogs that have to drag their buttholes along the carpet, those dogs need more fiber. It's crazy. They need more fiber.

My whole life is fiber. It's why I poop so much. But your poops must be nice. Yeah. I approve a lot. It's nice. But with that being said, the key is that by bulking the stool, by having fiber and allowing things, nine times out of ten, you shouldn't necessarily need to clean. Now, I understand why people clean. I started this company called Future Method. Future Method is all about products to support our communities, specifically, obviously the anal community.

And our first product was an appropriate anal duch solution, a cleansing solution. Because water and enemas are quite toxic internally, specifically high risk of STDs, HIV, injury, just from douching and cleaning out improperly. And what happens is you have to think of there's a protective lining in our ass. And when you're using water or enemas, you're washing that away. And when you're washing that away, what happens is the microbiome changes. And literally, you and I could go on the street and swab 20 random people. and I can tell you who takes it up the ass.

And it's because there's the bacteria. Can we do this? Can we do this? Say it again? We'll fly back to New York next week. Can we do this? We'll do it. Let's do it. Let's go on the street. That is the funniest sketch I've ever heard of going up to people like, I bet we can tell you if you do anal. We need Mateo on this. I know. We've a very funny male comedian friend. Yeah. Anyways.

So what happens is there's this specific bacteria called Provitella. And what happens is that. because you're washing away the good bacteria, the microbiome alters so much that you start to have mucus, you have irritation, and then you're starting to engage anally, and then you can have complications, STD's infections. So I said, well, wait a second, why can't we come up with a product that cleans, makes you feel sexy, but doesn't irritate the lining inside? And so that was our first sware into the product development with future method. And the key is by doing this, I want people to know that less is always more.

High fiber, the food, your diet and exercise. And if you're going to be douching and cleaning to use a solution that's not toxic and a methodology that allows you to understand we're not cleaning your entire colon. You don't need a colonic. Even if you have the biggest dick in the world, it's not going crazy far. It's just going, you know, in this capacity. So the key is by learning how do you clean locally instead of going way higher. A lot of

times people will do this. They'll be like, oh, I cleaned twice. I feel like I'm pretty clean. Let me clean a third time. And then they try a third time. And then they're shit. And they're like, what is going on? And then their practices takes an hour for them to clean out. And it causes so much irritation. We would never recommend a vaginal douche. So, I mean, it's the same, like your body knows what it's doing. You know, same concept. Same concept. Same concept. Now, with that being said, the key component is for people to understand the anatomy and understand

how do you really irrigate out in a way that doesn't cause harm. Okay. Just because you mentioned food, if we could just touch on it for a second, is there stuff that's bad to eat before anal or is that just like a ridiculous myth? No, I think that, you know, again, it really depends on what you feel. Like there's some people, like if I go to Chipotle, no offense to Chipotle, I love them, but I'm going to shit. Yeah.

It's like it just, it is what it is. Right. Like you know your body. What makes you? Exactly. Spicy foods, rapid transit stuff, heavy in oils, a lot of that type of stuff, saturated fats, things like that that will really create high transit.

And then a lot of people have issues with that pretty fast. Okay. So I just want to wrap up the poop conversation because I think this is a question a lot of people have too, is that if you're doing anything, are you going to feel like you have to go? Like, is it going to trigger, you know, people, I remember hearing about a girl in high school that had anal and shit on this guy's dick. I mean, you like, the travels, you know, that story stays with you forever.

So I think people get scared of that. Is that a thing? Is that pressure? It's totally a thing. Okay. So, you know, I mean, I think one of the things to think about is that's what the anal canal does. It senses something.

And some people, it's pleasure. And other people, it may be, oh, my God, I feel like I have to go to the restroom. But while you're doing your self-exploration, the whole purpose of that is to start to overcome that in some capacity where you diminish that kind of reflex and start bringing in that pleasure. And that's where physical therapy, using the toys, the anal Botox, because like we said before, the muscle, when you get anal anal or when you're engaging, a lot of those people, the muscle clamps down. and then you sense that and then it triggers what you think is, oh my God, I feel like I have to go to the restroom. But if I take that away from the entire situation, now you're really improving that on a positive perspective. Okay. You said Big Dick, so I just wanted to come back to that.

I mean, is there a world in which it's just not really going to be a great situation with too large of a penis? 100%. I think the key that I always tell people is you have to know when to say no. Yeah, the whole point of bespoke surgical future method and what we do is to empower the bottom. And people think that you need to be submissive to be a bottom, right? That's not true. You may want to be submissive, but at the end of the day, the reality is that you have to take control of your own body. I tell people all the time, if you can't take a toy or a dildo the size of that dick, don't take it. Because until you've proven to yourself that you are capable of receiving that, because the top, the person that is going to be giving you that dick, they care about one thing most of the time and one thing only. And it's not your asshole.

Uh-huh. Yeah, you've got to protect your own asshole. You got to guess. So if we're thinking about taking a dick in our asshole, what are some positions that can be a little easier to take from the beginning? or a little more pleasurable. What do you recommend? Because I'm still getting into this. Yeah, no, totally. So I think the key first is for play.

And I always tell people, let's say I finished the toy protocol, small, medium, and large. I feel really comfortable and I want to engage. Find a partner, a friend with benefits, someone that you completely trust for the first couple of sessions because you're going to drive that sex session, meaning you're going to use the toys either. during the sex session or right before, because I want you predilated and pre-lubricated. So you're really in a good space to receive that person because the reality is, is like we said before, that person is just going to put spit or a little bit of lube on

and try to shove it in. So a great first position is you on top. Just get that person hard, and erect, and you're sitting on top in a way that you're able to control the situation. And it's no different than using the dilators and really learning your own anatomy. Pretend like that dick is a dilator. Just sit on it and do the same components that you're using with the toys. And once you start to feel more comfortable in that position that you're in control, then you could start creating and going into other positions. Like doggy style is definitely not the first position to go into.

Because you're losing control in that situation. And so the key is any of the beginning positions, it's really focus on you, not your partner, until you start to prove to yourself like, hey, I could take this. This feels fucking awesome. This is a really good space for me. And then you could slowly start to put in other positions. And when I say other positions, you could see the spectrum of positions from you being in control to you being completely not in control.

and you have to start kind of navigating that. And then once you get into the groove, I think that it's kind of balls to the walls, literally. What a hot take? Getting on top for anal for the first time. I mean, I feel like I've heard that for pegging, though. Like, whoever is taking it needs to be the person controlling. Yeah.

They have to be power-bottoming themselves. Yeah. I think the key is also communication, face each other. So you see each other if you're grimacing or they're grimacing. Right, right. You know, people don't want to talk and like, you know, sex is not easy, especially with new people. It's exploring each other and trying to figure out.

And as you start to engage with that partner more and more, it just gets better and it gets better. But there needs to be a little bit of a play-by-play in the beginning, a little bit of a pre-discussion, especially if you're getting into anal for the first time. That's why finding partners that you feel so, comfortable in this scenario in the beginning is really important because if you have a bad experience, if you tear or you have pain, it just fucks with you because then you're like, you know,

like, God, maybe this is not for me or like, this is not what I want to do. I don't feel comfortable in this. So the goal for me is how do you set the stage for success initially so that you're able to be like, wow, this is awesome and this is the right way to do it. That is all about the sexual education that we haven't, you know, gotten at all. And do you feel like some people just aren't ever really going to be that into it? I mean, is your belief that if you just get, do it right, you'll enjoy it? Or are some people just never going to really enjoy it? For whatever reason, their body doesn't feel the same as others? Yeah, you're right. I think that there are definitely people that come to me and they're like, Evan, I want to even get enjoy anal. Let's do all these

certain things like predilating anal Botox, and at the end of it, they're able to take what they want. It just doesn't tickle them for them to continue the process. Because at the end of the day, it's not an easy road to be a bottom. You have to practice and you have to do a lot of things in order to keep it in line. Like I say to people, if you're engaging anally, the best bottoms in the world are having anal sex two or three times a week. If you're not having anal sex, two or three times a week, then you should be using toys to kind of keep it in line. It's like a use it or lose it muscle. If you're not using it, it's going to go back to its original clamp down form. But if you keep it and you're working it, you will be able to get

to where you want to much quicker, much easier, and which much more pleasure. So it's that concept. It's not just, oh, I'm just going to take it on his birthday once a year. It's like you're going to, it's going to not be fun and you're going to be in pain. I mean, I do love a, someone who made fun of me last week for a sports comparison. I mean, it just, it is comparable to fitness. I mean, because we're talking about muscles, so it makes sense. But I like that. People would know that if you really feel like you want to bring anal into your relationship

semi-regularly enough when you're not having anal sex, you should use the toys. I mean, or it's going to be, like you said, not as pleasurable, more painful. You have to start the whole process again. So I think sometimes people do think, like, oh, we do anal, you know, every quarter, every six months, birthdays only, special occasions. But that's not going to be great for you if you're not training year-round. Yes, you need to train your whole year-round. Okay.

And how do you feel about butt plugs during, if we're talking about vaginal sex, butt plug and at the same time? Yeah, I think the key with butt plugs that I find is a lot of people, leave them in a little too long. Okay. And what happens is that if you leave them in too long and the muscle kind of, like we said before, clamps around the neck, what winds up happening is that you can develop hemorrhoids or swelling or irritation. And then sometimes when you try to get the fucking thing out, it's so swollen and irritated

that you can't. So I think the key is that, yes, I know why people are using it and doing it because it really adds to the stimulation of sex. You really, like I said, need to make sure that you're able to open and understand the anatomy and using toys regularly and able to accommodate that. And then don't just like shove it in there and say, all right, I'm going to see you later, three hours later. In the beginning, put it in for five minutes, see how you tolerate.

Can you get it out? You want to do it for a little longer? Great. Go to 10 minutes and slowly ease in to see how your body reacts to it. Today I had unfortunately a client who had a pool ball, a fucking number two pool ball. Glad he brought us up. In his butt? It is asked for two days.

Do you understand? I'm processing. My question is like why would you put something? And I know this probably happens a lot. So I would love to hear you talk about it. Why would you put something in your butt that does not have an anchor? Right. Like what are we doing here?

But literally why? Like you know it's going to get stuck up there. There is no. it doesn't have a string on it. You know, I think it's the heat of the moment. You want to get up and get the pool ball. But it's also, that's got to take a while to get it in there. It's not like a quick thing.

The heat of the moment? The heat of the moment. You shove up, chuck a pool ball up there. But people, you know, I mean, it's just, I agree with you. But the reality is that you're right. Things that you're going to put up there should either have a big base that you can't, that won't go up there or some element of a string or a retrieval. device. Now, pool balls, I mean, maybe we have to come up with a pool ball that has, like,

something that people can pull out and you don't have to worry about it. But, you know, lots of people put up lots of different things. I think the key for this is, obviously, make sure it's retrievable, make sure that you're doing things that are safe. If you get something stuck, make sure you know a proctologist or somebody that can help and aid and go from there. But the reality is that this person was able to shit out the pool ball. He was able to get it out and then came to the office just for me to evaluate and make sure we weren't. There wasn't any trauma associated with it. Okay. Let's pause this and let's end with the craziest stuff you found in buttholes. So if you want to get the wheels turning, but I want to just talk about a couple more things.

I mean, pain came up a lot and I'm just curious of what do you feel obviously as a doctor that's unnatural pain and that's normal pain from vaginal pain too from you know you have sex you have some wild sex a big dick you like I feel like I have a good idea of like what's normal from sex and what is concerning so is there a way to distinguish things that are going wrong in your butt that you should be concerned about and just general discomfort from anal training yes I think that that's the right thing is to use anal training as a barometer to figure out where you are I think there's a huge differentiation between discomfort and pain. Discomfort in the beginning,

it's a new thing. You're doing new things. You're going to be somewhat having some elements of discomfort. If it becomes pain, stop. You shouldn't be having pain with anal sex. You shouldn't be having pain with using toys if you're doing the right thing to accomplish that. And so that is really key in this component.

Lots of lube using the toys on your own. starting with small and working your way up. And as you're going, each time you go from small to medium, you may have more discomfort as you're doing that, but it shouldn't be painful. Okay, okay. Yeah, we got this message. This girl just said she was loving anal,

and then she just said, ever since we had it a month ago, my buttle just hasn't been the same. I feel dry, itchy, just genuinely uncomfortable. And I'm wondering if there's any good aftercare to help the healing process. Not that you can give a diagnosis over a message. Yeah, I think a couple of things first is sometimes you have to look at what

lube you're using. Also, people can get reactions from the toys that they're using. So I think it's analyzing what you're doing. Also, wet wipes are terrible anally. The country totally loves using them, but what they do is they cause so much problems with the microbiome. That's good to know. All of those things can create anal area issues.

Now, aftercare, a couple of things I think. One is that showering post-sex is really important. With Future Method, we came up with two things on aftercare. One is an appropriate anal exfollient. It's a button body scrub that really gets rid of lube and gets rid of excrement, come, whatever, and nourishes the tissue because that area really needs to be taking care of. And the same thing with a soothing cream. What can you use after in terms of that?

Sometimes I recommend Preparation Age or Cow mouse suppositories. They're like cocoa butter that after you're using like toys or bigger toys or dick that you're able to put this up there and it basically coats the lining so that if there is a little bit of tearing, it causes it to heal and then followed by the scrub and then a soothing cream to allow things to really get healthy in there. You really want to make sure that you're not creating too much moisture. The ass, you know, we peloton, we go to the gym. With that being said, the key is you really want anything that you're using there to be fast on,

fast off. So specifically, our soothing cream soothes, but it dries very quickly. So it allows for everything to be in a good space. Okay. Okay. I wanted to talk about eating ass just a little bit because everybody wants to talk about it. People have anxiety surrounding this. Obviously, it's a whole different thing than anal sex.

But since you're an expert in this body part, you know, Is there any tips there? Like, I think some people don't even know what to do back there, what part of the ass they're supposed to be. Are they licking? Are they motorboating? Like, I've had people go back there for me. I've never stuck my face in someone's butt crack asshole. So I have.

I think people are curious. Like, what do I do when I get in there? Well, I mean, you could do anything. It's just like, you know, whether you're doing blow jobs or kissing the groin area, the vaginal space or the anal region. You know, pretend like it's a. bullseye, you know, I mean, and just kind of work your way around. I think the key is, you know, obviously if you're receiving, showering, you know, making sure that you're cleaned in that area, I tell people, if you're not having pure penetrative anal, I don't think you need to do for

specifically just licking and rimming. But if you want to, obviously, you totally can. But realistically, if you're showering and cleaning and then using, you know, a soothing cream or something to that affect that area is clean and tasty and beautiful, right? So with that being said, I think from a receiving perspective and then from a giving, it's more of licking, rubbing around that area, tongue, you can go in, you can go around, blowing air, some people cold air, warm air, licking and kind of kissing the groin area. The area in that pelvic floor is so sensitive that when you start exploring in that area, even if it doesn't say,

hey, I don't want to get completely too close to the hole. If you go around there, I mean, people love that. I mean, people are like, wow, this is awesome. Yeah, I just, I don't know, I have never heard anybody complain. Like, I feel like you don't even know what's going on there. You just know it feels good. Like, I feel like no one's really complaining about the technique. It's not like he can't, he couldn't find the clip situation.

It's just like, whatever's going on back there is none of my business. just keep at it. And I think the same thing is like after shower because our saliva and obviously that area can have bacteria so you want to shower and clean. Also I think rinsing with mouthwash is really important. It's shown that especially post-sex, oral sex, you could decrease STD risks by listerine rinsing for about 30 seconds. So a lot of the stuff there is how do you prevent infections from bacterial infections or parasites or other issues? Herpes can be an issue in that area. So you have to really be careful when we're doing all these things to understand what we have and what we potentially can give. Okay. So I think to wrap up the

episode, hopefully you can tell us some of the craziest things that you found in somebody's butthole. Well, the pool ball is kind of interesting. That just keeps coming up. I actually have one pool ball in my office from a patient because he not only had one, he had two pool balls out there. And he couldn't shit it out. So it was like, oh my God. He was so frustrated. Two. That is crazy. And you saved one as a souvenir. He gave me one as a Christmas present. That is hysterical. Is two poolwhiles the craziest thing you found in somebody's body? No, no, no. He's like three ball balls was the craziest thing. One time I was in the hospital and a guy was like roofied and it was just a bad situation. And he had something up the ass and we took a x-ray. And, and he had something up the ass. And we took a x-ray.

And it looked like one of those big right guard cans, like for underarm deodorants. And it was like one of the big ones, like really big. And so I brought him to the operating room. I put him to sleep. And once you put someone to sleep, all the muscle relaxes that you can kind of literally just pull it out. Wow. And it wasn't. It was a butane lighter refill, you know, like a fucking butane, like and big.

And like we use electricity and do a lot of different things in the operating room. Like if I would have gone up there with an electrical current or something like that, literally the entire space would have blown up. So that was a little crazy. The other is like a spatula. What? I want a spatula up there. It's flat.

And the thing is like I asked, is it a wooden spatula or a plastic spout? And he said it has to be a wooden spatula because he liked how you can kind of like pluck it out, like make a little noise. Like when it comes out of. the ass it like like plucks. And so like he was so embarrassed to tell me this kink and I couldn't care about like if that's your kink.

It's totally fine. But of course the fucking thing snapped and broke inside. I was wondering why it had swallowed the whole spatula. So anyhow, you're going, you pull it out and it's all done. But he's still using it. He still loves the effect on it. So you know, it's like people put stuff up there

and it's okay. I know it's embarrassing. But the key is, if you want to do these things, we try to figure out, is there something that you can use that is like that, but retrievable and safe and easily, you know, accessible and retrievable. Yeah, like anal beads instead of pool balls. Yeah, for sure. You mentioned that someone obviously under general anesthesia is completely relaxed. Great time to try. No, I'm just kidding. But so that just made me think.

I mean, do you recommend things like, I'm sure people like to smoke some weed or just CBD or things that get you alcohol? I don't know, whatever, like, relaxes your body to those help a little bit? So it's a great question. So I think the key is a lot of people specifically in the gay space use poppers. So it's amyl nitrate, you sniff it, right? And it basically relaxes the entire, you know, your body, but the entire anal region. The problem is that you lose censorium. You're so fucked up mentally that you can't.

feel pain. That's why desensitizing lube, that's why a lot of this stuff I tell people, I'm fine with you using drugs if you want to heighten your experience, but I'm not fine with you using drugs to relax and not feel pain. Does that make sense? Because you're not feeling the pleasure, right? Yeah. And so the key is like sometimes you're so fucked up that you don't know what's happening, right? And so someone could be going to town and you're like, oh, this feels great. And you're bleeding and you don't even know. Oh, for that reason, yes. I'm thinking more of just like, you know, you have drunk sex.

You don't come because you're not as sensitized to what's happening down there. But I see what you're saying. You could get hurt because you don't know what's happening. Very hurt. Right. And so I usually tell people, if you can take that dick, you could take the toy, you can take the fist without the drugs, I'm totally fine then with you bringing drugs in to enhance the experience.

But it shouldn't be your go-to in the beginning. because you want to set this up for success. But like if you're someone that smokes weed, you'd probably just feel a little more. The weed is great. Wheat is awesome because you're most, you know, no matter how high you get, you're still kind of somewhat involved in the situation.

Yeah, I feel like that's probably the best for me personally. It heightens my orgasms. But if I feel pain anywhere, I still experience pain as opposed to when I'm drunk and I don't have the same pain receptors. And there's THC suppositories, CBD suppositories. So some people,

use that like about an hour or so before anal to kind of set the stage. You get fucked up a little bit. Plus, you're setting the stage for relaxation in the anal region. So there's a lot that's out there. I think it's just doing what we're doing now of like dispelling these myths, talking about all these issues, making sure people feel comfortable and have access to care just in case things potentially go wrong. Okay. This was really wonderful and educational and fun. And I'm sure people will want to know where to find you. So if you can tell people where to find you, your website, your Instagram, wherever you want to direct people, that would be great. Yeah, sure.

So everybody could find me personally, DR, Evan Goldstein. So Dr. Evan Goldstein on Instagram and all channels, that's more like ass, my partner, and my twin boys. So you get to kind of see the combination of life with that. Bespoke surgical is on all channels. That's more the office and the surgical practice and what we do. And then the Future Method is on Instagram and the handles. But Future Method.com is all about the product.

fiber, probiotics, all the supplements we're talking about with douching and cleansing. And then a lot of it is all the education we spoke about on how to get to where you want to be. Okay. Well, thank you so much. This has been really fun. Yes, thank you so much. I appreciate it. Thank you. And you guys know where to find everything. Girls Gotta Eat and Vibes Only. Girls Gottoeat com for tour tickets and all of our episodes and everything you could want. Girls Gotta Eat Podcast on Instagram. I am Ash Hess on everything. Raina is reina.org. on Instagram vibes only.com. You can download our app and follow us on Instagram at Vibes Only.

And subscribe to our YouTube, share this episode with a friend, and have fun starting butt stuff. Have a good week, guys. Bye.