Girls Gotta Eat - All the Tea of 2023

Episode Date: December 18, 2023

In true GGE tradition, we are recapping the year in our personal lives, pop culture, breakups, and the snackhead community! We chat about our highlights and lowlights, what we learned professionally, our feelings about living in LA one year later, and how our friendship has changed. Ashley plays mind-blowing snippets from a tarot reading about her relationship, and Rayna shares the main takeaway from her dating life this year. We break down the most important celebrity breakups and the best pop culture moments of the year, AND we're sharing the biggest changes our audience made in their lives. Enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit our website for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Shop Vibes Only. Thank you to our partners this week: AG1: Get a free one-year supply of Vitamin D3 + K2 and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/gge. Storyworth: Get $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/gge. Hinge: Download Hinge and find someone worth deleting the app for hin.ge/gge. Beis: Get 15% off your first purchase at beistravel.com/gge. Zbiotics: Get 15% off at zbiotics.com/gge and use the code GGE. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

2023 gave us some quality. I mean, just the tea was unreal. Unbelievable. Another episode of Girls Got to eat. The last episode. The last episode. The last one ever. No.

Surprise, we're quitting. No. Just kidding. This is my only source of anger. I'm 40 now and we can't call it. Ashley got a boyfriend. We chose over. We actually got a letter.

Middle-aged women. You can't see girls anymore since Ashley's. So this. This is it. No. Ashley's done eating and we're no longer girls. I'm literally so skinny. Ashley's on his epic and got a boyfriend so she can't.

I feel like sexually eating like you got a boyfriend. Like you ate. You did it. You got it. Ashley's so skinny. I'm too skinny for this podcast. But we're not going to be here next week. It's the last one of this year.

So Merry Christmas. Have a wonderful holiday. We love you guys. This is our official roundup of the year episode. Yes. We dressed for the occasion, red and green. Raina, I almost had to pull over because I was laughing so hard at this email we got.

You're on it, but you haven't read it yet. You've been laughing about it for 20 minutes and talking about water bottles with Tesla. Well, I was like hunched over my steering wheel laughing at this. So this game from Ashley, who works for us, our star icon, the more important Ashley in the company, quite honestly. Okay, she said, hey team. Got into my head.

It's a hard joke. Honestly, say it. Because honestly, if you died, I could still run this company. With her. Right. I'm so saying. She died. I don't know what happened to us.

Okay. She's just, she's the best. Hey team, we received a DM yesterday from a Canadian customer who complained about her discreet packaging as her Canadian custom slip said, sugar cookie suck and blow gel. And her landlord dropped it at her door. Ashley said she was so nice about it, but she said her letter carrier, landlord, neighbors all saw it. So I feel badly.

And we have smoothed it over with her. and she was super nice and changed what they say. So if anyone is worried about that, because our packaging, we say what it says. It comes on the box. Like it says VO company, you know, but I guess it's different with the Canadian custom slip. So we never had a complaint before.

No one had clocked this previously. Everyone's just loud and proud about their suck and blow gel, I guess, and their vibrators. But we were able to like fix the system. So now it's like more generic. So I think it says like personal body lotion for the blow gel. So we fixed it moving forward. So we wanted to share this happy ending, literally.

but I'm laughing so hard, your landlord suck and blow gel. Also, it's flavor. The landlord is like, hear me out. You don't have to pay right next month. If you use that on me.

This is a porn. And I would be like, absolutely. This is an absolute porn. It used to just be called blowjali, and we changed the name. So there is plausible deniability of what blow gel is.

It could be like, blow your hair dry. That's a great call. Leaf blowing. No, you're totally right. about the hair. Suck really drives it home. So anyway, but that's, you know, good for her for getting that sugar cookie. The sugar cookie is sold out.

We blew through it. We blow-gilled through it. Literally. Blew through it. You guys blew through it. God, you guys love to suck dick. Wow. You guys love dessert-flavored dick more than anything in the world.

But we still have the pepper and patty and we'll be reintroducing another flavor. I'm excited. I know. What a year. What a year, you guys. This is very, I mean, every year we do this episode, if you're new here, of Ashley does this great pop culture list. I do a breakup list and we do reflections on the year.

And then for the first of the year, we'll do goals for next year. But we had you guys submit all your life lessons and things that you changed in your lives. It's just a really feel good, beautiful episode. I'm just excited every year, but this year the most. I know. I'm excited too. I don't even know where to start. Like, do we start light with our pop culture?

What do we usually do? Well, you know what? We don't have to do what you usually do. We do whatever we feel in the moment. This is our show. Well, I'll start by thanking all of you. Okay. You know, I've been crying a lot lately.

Do you think I cried more than you this year? Yeah. What? Am I, like, I cry that much? I had a, like, good two weeks span of crying. A volume. So I feel like I maybe had the most like volume jam packed into a short amount of time. Luminous crying.

Over. Yeah, just really packed it in. Okay. But you over, yeah, a lot of crying. A lot of crying voice. memos. Wait, me too, though. Like, why, we cried a lot on voice memo this year.

That's our Spotify wrapped. You cried on 67 voice memos. Like, sometimes I would start a voice memo and didn't even know I was going to cry, and then I'm crying. The two funniest things for me crying was I cried to you about a boy at the Verizon store, just fully standing at Verizon crying on a voicemail. Crying at Verizon is like the name of your mixtape from the year. You, whenever you talk about crying at Verizon, I love it.

It's over a man who's not my man while I was buying the new titanium iPhone 15, which is a great day for me. I was standing in the vestibule Verizon crying. And I cried about Azul because I miss him. Isn't that funny? The hardest I cried like Azul on voice note. I cried, this is a little less funny, it's a little darker, but I cried to you the whole way down the FDR leaving my friend's chemo appointment when I went with her. And I was feeling some different things, but I really like let it out. and there was some other things going on to my mind,

but I cried to you when I was in the back of an Uber, and I was, like, trying to be discreet. I wasn't sobbing, but I was, like, really emotional and really tearful, and I was, like, working through some stuff, and I was, like, you know, voice memoing back and forth with you. We could have just gotten in a call, but we didn't. And when I got out of the car, he left me out of the car, he goes, I hope you have a good weekend, ma'am.

And then, like, what have you got out of the car? And then that sparklyzed was the first weekend. That was my first weekend was sparklyzed, yeah. So it was emotional, and it was, it was emotional. and it was just like, it's so funny because, yes, they, they hear you, you know, you're in the back of their car. They're there, yeah. So we cried a lot.

It was a big transformative year, but, you know, as always, it never goes unnoticed that you guys spend so much of your time listening, giving us your stories, your, I always say your money. You come out to the live shows, you supported vibes, you give us so much of yourselves, and it's just, it never goes unnoticed. We love you guys so much. I say this every year, and nothing will ever mean more to me in this world. than this and what we've created and built. I'll never do anything more special. I know. And we were

doing an interview recently and the interviewer, I think it was a pre-interview maybe. And she was like, you two are so generous with your lives. Like you give us a lot, you know, you share a lot. And I've took that as a compliment. I really feel like generosity felt like a theme of the year maybe. I feel like I always want that to be a theme of my year. But you all are so generous with us too. You know, like I can't believe the things that people share with us and trust us with, you know, obviously people share stuff and we read it on the podcast, we shared at the shows if that was their intention, but people share really private things with us that they feel like we're a safe space. And so you guys are really generous with us too. We just have a great relationship with our audience.

And you're so good to us. Like, yeah, there's some of you that are fucking terrible, but that's just going to come with the territory. But like, we have it really good. You know, we're really lucky. We don't see a lot of negativity. I think that like, hopefully we put out good energy and we get it back. And we just truly, like, you know, I'll be reading comments on something else. And I'm like, God, our audience, our followers don't speak to us like that. You know what I mean? Like maybe they're off in some corner of the internet doing it, you know, a small minority, but like we really have built a community.

You know, like Ray and I went on a podcast this year and I'm not going to name me names. And we were shocked at like the listeners, the way they tear apart everything, the way they tore us apart. Like we're like, this host, the community that they have built is just kind of toxic. Yeah, that's the word. Like I was to, God, like it's so different. it so differently, thank God. Yeah. So anyway. I like that. Thanks for saying that. I just, and I, you know, I want to say, like, Rand and I are going to talk about a lot of, like, good things that happened this

year. And that's the point, you know, like, I think that we've shared every week what's been going on in our lives. Like, none of this is going to be surprises. But I think it can be easy to be, like, not just with us or even with us at all, but with anybody, just being like, oh, their life is perfect. They have it so good. They don't have problems in these things. And I just think that, like, everyone has problems and everyone has struggles. And even if they don't share them, and I personally had a really great year and I also had a few struggles that I feel like I haven't shared for various reasons and may or may not, you know, some have to do with other people's privacy. And I just, I really try to share as much as my life as possible on the show. I think it's important

to share your struggles, be vulnerable, all of that. I really see the power in that, but there are some things that you can keep to yourself. And so, you know, there's been hard times too. There's been moments where I'm, you know, crying can't like get out of bed. You know, there's just, we're all dealing with something, not all the time. People struggle more than others at different times at ebbs and flows, but I just always want to say that that no matter how perfect someone's life can look on the outside, everyone's got something going on, you know? Of course.

I think so many of us are looking at like social media this week and in the coming weeks of like, this is the most reflective time of everybody's year of like, what did I accomplish, what did this get me and like, what do I want my goals for next year to be? And it's so easy to be like, these people are thinner than me, richer than me, not me and Ashley, just people on the internet, thinner than me, richer than me, a happier than me, their relationships better. Like, I'm reminded of every time I think somebody has an incredible relationship and then I see them break up. And I'm like, things aren't always what they seem. What they seem. Yeah. Yeah. So just, I'm really proud of our year and it's great for thought.

Yeah. Yeah. Just, you know, keep that in mind. And, you know, if you didn't accomplish this year what you wanted to, tomorrow's another day. Yeah. And same old, tired, cliche statement that everything happens for a reason. You know, we really started this year with a professional setback, I guess, like, something that we had been working on for a really long time, something that we were thinking was going to happen that didn't, something that we'd put up six months of effort into and, you know, in terms of like an investment type opportunity, you're not going to stay too much.

We did sign an NDA, but it ended up falling through and it was really discouraging. I mean, it was really upsetting, but it was for the best, like looking back. Like, I think about it a lot. Like, thank God, you know. I know, too. It was, I mean, truly devastating and so demoralizing

to have worked on something for so long, and so hard, and so many other people were involved and worked so hard on it with us. We're trying to be like cryptic about it. But yeah, we worked on something really hard. It didn't work out professionally. And that was really devastating to just look back at all the time we spent. But now I'm like, oh, thank God. Yeah. And it's not, you know, it's something that like we would have had more money, but it's everything's not about money. You know, like it's about your quality of life and your happiness and your relationships, romantic, friendship, yourself, otherwise family. And so it just would have changed our life in a way

that I don't know that we would have wanted. So the right thing will happen when it comes to, you know, that kind of stuff too. We're always. trying to get bigger and grow and do the things. I mean, we run two companies and we feel like the sky's the limit. So, yeah. Well, you know me. I'm always, like, married to plan A, but, like, I'm happy with plan B. I can pivot.

So I think you're exactly like that. That's why we work well together. Yeah. And we really accomplished a lot professionally this year. I mean, I think we've, like, made lists. But, I mean, some, like, real highlights. We want to talk about, like, some real highlights. Or should we do pop culture?

I think we're already in our reflection. Zode. Or in our reflection. Zode. Mode. zone. I just did gruel. Like, I just did a total gruel moment. So we were in the zode. Well, maybe I'll tell you a couple of my highlights. Okay. Not so reflective. But I bought my first car at the ripe young age of 37. Yeah. 39 for me. I really wanted to get it under the gun

before I turned 40. I wanted to buy a vehicle. Right at the buzzer. We went on the view. So I'm really proud of that professionally. I just, I like all the TV appearances we did. And, And we hired Tessa, who has been with us for a year, and it's such a highlight of our year. And we just love her, and she's been so fabulous. And everybody who works with us is wonderful, but she's the best and we love her. I had sex in a green room. Oh, my God. You know, that was Q1.

And it's sometimes, it's nice to think back and reflect. Well, you forget some stuff that felt like years ago. Like, I'd watched my Instagram story back the archives from January 1st to, like, remember a lot of things and also pop culture things. Right. Yeah, wow. What a time. and I were just right next door eating pizza.

Yeah, you guys were a couple feet away. And I was like, we literally just hired this girl. She's going to tell her parents. It's weird that, like, you know what I was thinking about. We, like, know Tess's parents. You know, like, we'll say things and we're like, I think about how her parents are going to think because we've met them. They've come to shows.

Like, her mom's come to two shows. She came back in the green room. Like, that you don't always have that with your employee's family. Like, when else would you know their family? You know what I mean? And it was like that with Bella, too. It's just like, we know these people's families. Anyway, so we always keep that in mind too.

Oh my God, Tess's dad's gonna be mad at us. I know, I offered to call your parents the other day. I was like, let you put on the phone with me and Ashley. We'll tell them it's okay. It's goodbye. Oh, my God. We doubled our sales at Vibs Only from last year. We had an unbelievable holiday season and just crushed it, put out a bunch of new vibrators.

And I've just loved working on this company with you. I feel like we've learned so much. Like Ashley and I have owned an e-commerce business and a tech company before. And so we put out all these new products and people, liked them. I think we learned a lot. We doubled the sales. I'm like very, very proud of that. We had Candace Bushnell on the show. Yeah. It was just like such an icon and Esther Perel. Huge. 40 live shows. Jay Shetty. We went on Jay Shetty. That was a really important moment for me. And it was just like couldn't have been a better LA moment. We'll talk about moving to L.A.

but going to his home studio up in the hills. And I was like that was one of the best days I've had. You know, we did both shows in one day. And I also feel like listening back to us and his show, we were really on our and, you know, I feel like we really added something to the conversation. That was just, that was a huge professional accomplishment. Yeah. I felt like we were ready. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

We were talking about, like, ascending to a level of fame. We're talking about somebody else that maybe you're not ready for, like, to take on, like, professionally. Like, I remember standing on the stage at the Chicago theater years ago being like, I'm ready. I'm ready to walk in stage for the 4,000 people. I felt like we were ready to do G-Sheddy. Yeah. Ready for Shetty.

I got my third and final boot job. So my annual work job. Final. Best and final. Best and final. Third boob job, courtesy of Dr. Barrett at Barrett, Plastic surgery. And so I'm very happy with that. And you got to pick me up from a boob job finally. I know. I finally got to pick you up from surgery. We became best friends this year. I have like some more special things to talk about. I can jump in on the business side a little bit too. Okay, please. I really feel like I learn this every year, but it becomes reinforced is the power of hiring well and having a good team around you. It's still hard, especially

around the holidays with like vibes on top of, you know, girls got to eat the tour. But we hire really well and mostly women. And we are blown. away by what our team is able to accomplish. And like the more we can loosen the reins and, you know, give control and power and responsibility to other people. It's just, it's, we could not do it, you know, so I feel like I learned that every year. Was your goal really lucky? Two years ago that you were going to like let go a little bit?

Let go. I think I do. I think so. I think that was two years ago. And I want to more and more. You know, I just, I don't think I'm like that anymore, you know? I've seen you really loosen the reins. I mean, you really want a level of professional.

that is like so high and I think it's raised my bar of like my level perfectionism and how hard I am on myself when I make a mistake, which is a good thing. But I've seen you just trust other people more because I think as a business owner, it's easy to be like, this isn't going to get done correctly unless I do it. That's how every business owner feels. No matter if you're like a quote unquote control freak, you're so alpha, you're type A. Like everybody feels like I'm the best at this. No one else can do it. And like I've really seen you and me hand the reins over a lot more. Yeah. We talked to this podcast. I think we mentioned it before, Marie for Leo, how she talks about people are only going to be able to give you, what, like 80% or 90% of like the perfectionism that you want.

And I find truth in that. But I also find that someone can do it better than you, you know, like someone can have better ideas. Like, especially just because you even created the system or created the format, someone can still come in and add to it. And I think I've learned that with Anna, our editor, you know, like she has taken over this and we've really let her fly. I mean, I deal with her more than you, obviously. but, you know, I like to think that, like, someone would be better than me. That's the goal. Hire people that are better than you.

Yeah, I think about, like, Tessa, what she brings creatively all the time. Totally. She doesn't just do it better than me. Like, she does things that, like, I wouldn't have thought of doing it. That's what it is also, yes, like, actually really adding value. Yeah. And explaining to what 23-year-olds are like. I'm so much older than that.

I was excited. I went to the East Coast of Italy. I just made a note about that. I read 30 books this year. Oh, my gosh. You earned your Pizza Hut Pizza. I more than earned it. I started in June, and so I've read 30 since June, and you've been really helpful and Tessa because you guys are both avid readers.

Yeah, you're talking about to read. Not Raina learning how to read this year. Number one. Rana, good job reading. Truly, I didn't. I read so much. I mean, like, you guys have been in the game longer than I have. Oh, my God.

I started in June because I was just hold up on my back after my third boob job, and I was just like, what am I going to do with myself? And I started reading. I've all kinds of genres, love stories. I'm in fiction now. I'm into fantasy novels, like not sex fantasy. Like fantasy, fairy novels and thrillers. And I just, I never read before. So 30 books is crazy in like six months.

That's wild. Totally. I'm amazing. And I'm really good of reading now. Yeah, an icon. Thank you. And I don't watch TV that much anymore. I know.

It's crazy. I know. Who am I? I still watch some TV. I'll never, you know, like, I don't watch TV show. No, no, no. That's gross. Get off your high horse.

Moral high ground. I think that's my, like, little cute stuff other than my more serious stuff. Oh, and then I lived in my first house since I was 22. I've never lived in a house. In a house. Yeah.

15 years. So that's it. That's my little stuff. That's my smallest baggage. That clip was on... Did I send it to you? No. It's from girls.

It's my most medium baggage. Well, it was on the HBO posted it, like on their Instagram. I thought I'd send it to you. I swear I did. It was Shoshana. They were all great. What was this? Shoshana was talking to Lena Denham.

Hannah and she's saying what her... Her IVS. Her IVS was her small. Being a virgin was her largest. Her medium baggage is she doesn't love her grandma. She's her grandmother, yeah. And then this is my top five favorite shows of all time. And yeah, her biggest baggage is she's a virgin.

All strong. All are pretty big baggage. I don't love my grandma. Okay. So there's some more serious reflections? Yeah, I mean, I really, this year was a big year in a lot of different ways. I ended last year on December 31st.

doing a reading with Kelly, who has been on our show twice, Kelly Knight of Modern Mystic Shop. And she has done terror readings for me that I've spoken about. And they've just been life-changing and accurate. And, you know, I really wanted to focus at the end of last year, you know, going into 2023. We talked about career, of course. That's how we kicked it off. We always do that. And moving to L.A. or at that point, you know, I listened back to it last night. And it was just like, we didn't know. We were just trying it out. And she said something that She was like, you will absolutely have clarity after those three months. And we had that before three months, but we definitely had that clarity.

And a lot of things she said. And I want to play like a couple things that just really like, I think you guys would love to hear. But I had anxiety about turning 40. And I'm not going to be repetitive in what I talked about on my episode after my birthday. But, you know, I think that I always go into anything, but a new year being like, it's going to be amazing. We're going to accomplish a lot.

And it's going to be better than the last year. and I just had this tiny little, like, panic, like, but what if not? You know, like, what if I don't find what I want, get what I want? If I don't find the partner that I want to find this year and I don't change my mind about it, you know, like, at that point, I was still just feeling, like, not excited and, like, all I wanted to do was, like, embrace it and live my best life and have the best year. And there was just that small part of me that was like, but what if not? And it all worked out. But, you know, this was a big year for me.

in that way. And, you know, I feel like we started the year and we were like, we're moving L.A. And I want to find a partner. And I did both. And he didn't live in L.A., but it still worked out how it worked out. But I just want to play these, like, two little pieces for you. I think you'll, like, die over this. And as you guys may know, I met Sparkalize, or, you know, I had met him prior, but we started dating at the end of May. So, like, going into June, like, month six, and then, you know, we made it official, even though it was official, he was in Cabo with me on my birthday, but like right at my birthday, like the day before my, my birthday. But this is something that Kelly said on this reading. Okay. So I'm not saying that there's not love immediately for you,

but it feels like you're going to L.A. to get to work, too. So I would just say the six-month period of time, for me, like the second half of the year with the World Card, that's literally when you've attained it all. So I feel like if you don't find like a love match in the first part of the, like, the immediate part in LA, it's coming. I mean, it could really come for you the second half of the year with the work that you've laid out in the first half of the year. So I would just say, like, at first it's showing here. Okay, so there's that.

And then let me tell you that, let me tell you the thing that I said. Yeah. This all just makes sense. I have this weird thing. This is, like, kind of weird. So I feel like I keep using this metaphor that I'm going to meet someone in the fourth quarter of my 30s, like at the buzzer. Oh, yeah.

Like, I didn't have. Which is so crazy. Like, I remembered that on like July 8th when we like, you know, made it official. And I'm going to just play one more thing that I just feel like is really that I think we talked about early in the year. But I just want to, it's a message that I want to send everybody else who really feels like they're on a mission to find somebody. I don't know. I'm not seeing anything negative here again. So I just say live your life.

And just the main thing is just like, watch the stories that you tell and like reframe your story. as to like, I'm creating space for love this year. Yeah. Like, I'm ready. I can have it all. I can't wait to invite somebody into this, like, world I've created and have a look however you want. Is that like really cool to play back?

Really emotional about it. That's really special. And, you know, I feel like it's interesting. You've always said life doesn't turn out the way that you necessarily think it's going to. And Kelly had said on a reading that like we were going to go to L.A. And she really sees you, this was two years ago, that she sees you finding your person in L.A. And like you did, but you didn't. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Like you had to move here

to find somebody in Boston. But you were in L.A. Like, it's being here changed you as a person. I'm talking to a lot of people the last couple days about our choice to move here and that have said to me, like, I've never seen you girls be happier. And like, it changed you as a person and your outlook. And it's just, I don't know. I just, I feel emotional now. Well, my quote is, it may not look like what you thought it was going to look like. And that came from Kelly. That came from her with my other serious relationship. And it's like, again, reinforced of, I didn't think I was going to meet somebody that lived in Boston. I was like, I'm only going to be with a person that lives in New York or L.A. That's the only way it would make sense to me. That's like the only type of

person I could be with. You know, like I feel like I didn't think he would have like the job he has. Like, you know, I thought I would meet somebody like entertainment, entertainment adjacent. You know, I didn't think he would be younger. But somehow he still is like everything important on my list and more. you know, like he's like more than I ever could have imagined. And like I just go back to that quote. Like it may not look like what you thought it was going to look like. Like you again, we'll talk about kind of making a list. I don't later episode, we've discussed it. But like there are things you really are non-negotiables for you. But there are other things that you really need to be flexible on and not limit yourself when it comes to finding a romantic partner. Yeah. So that was also what I learned. Okay. Well, let's talk about your love life. Yeah. So I was, you know, obviously like I break my year up into buckets, you know, where I lived, what I did professionally, romantically. And I was thinking, like, what was my sort of theme of the year romantically. And I feel like, I mean, obviously, I didn't take a partner. I didn't take a full-time partner, lover. I didn't take a partner. But there were a couple people that came into my life, and I think I could have, what I would

look at is taken the easy way out and chosen people that were safer. I was seeing somebody that I probably could have made it work out with if I really wanted to, who just was really good on paper and a totally nice person and made a lot of sense on this list. of things that everybody kind of wants, but, like, I would have been bored and not happy. And I think it's also easy to look at your best friend and say, like, she's so happy, why not me? I want that, too.

And to just make, like, a knee-jerk reaction to just pick a person because you feel like you're the only single girl. Like, you've been, like, my single running mate for so long. And so many of our friends, as soon as we moved here, like, got into serious relationships all of a sudden. And I would, like, Alyssa immediately got wiped up and my friend Jackie. And all these people around me immediately just, like, locked it down.

And I think it's easy to say to yourself, like, I'm the only single girl. So just pick a person. And somebody that I used to really love and was in a very serious relationship with came back into my life and wanted to talk about getting back together. And I think that would have been easy too. I'm comfortable and could have just slid right back in because he does feel like home. Anybody that used to be feels like home. And I also decided that that wasn't for me and the right thing.

And like just because it's easy doesn't mean it's right. And so I just want to like validate like what that feels like for people. because I think that has been my experience this year is that like everybody around me is getting married and being in these serious relationships and like that shouldn't be a reason to like pick something that maybe won't make you long-term happy. And I've always said I'd rather be alone

than be with somebody who's not right for me. You know, and just because you're thirsty doesn't mean you go drink poison. Okay. And yeah, listen, my pattern is always that I go back to X's and I do toxic things, but I haven't locked it down with any of those people. Oh my God.

So that's been nice for me to reflect on. Yeah. I think I could have taken a bit of an easier route here. And that's why it's important to build other things in your life that you have going on and that you can focus on, you know, like strengthening friendships or family relationships or focus on your career, your hobbies, learning your language, start reading, whatever it is. Yeah, I'm third move, John. Get your boobs done, you know, whatever you got going on. So I'm glad that you like felt. I mean, yeah, it's just not, I don't know, people where sometimes like, is it weird that you have a boyfriend and Raina doesn't?

I'm like, well, Raina said a boyfriend and I didn't, you know, and like, Raina's a great life. I don't know what to tell you, no. Yeah. We've had some people float that idea and I find it insulting. And I know it comes from love. It's just like, is Raina okay? She's not a relationship and you are. I know it comes from a nice place, but like, no, I have a really great life and I'm happy and I sleep great at night.

And we have all these other, I have hobbies and interests. And I just do a lot of other stuff. Well, also, I think you can look at somebody having something that you may want. And we're recording today with Elise Lonen and we'll have her for the first episode of the year. But there's a partner book about thinking of things that you may have envy around and let that guide you. And then we'll deep dive more. So I just, I know, this little teaser. But I'm not saying you want what I have.

But if you want what I have what someone else has, not just you, anybody, like let that be inspiring to you. you know, like instead of sitting around and wondering how someone like got this thing, let it be like, but I can do that too, you know? Like I also think it was like my goal this year. I don't really think it was your goal. You know, I think that I like also learned so much this year, obviously about the power of manifesting and like knowing what you want, saying it out loud and like working towards it and like doing all the things.

I feel like I put in a lot of work. I like work with the matchmaker. I went on the apps. I would went out with my task rabbit. You know, like I don't know. I don't know how you feel. Like, I don't know that it was like your big goal for the year. No, and I...

Also, I don't... I don't think that you made steps that would contradict you doing those things. Do you know what I mean? Like, I still do sleep with some of my exes. I'm going to sleep with another one. And I do things that would contradict me finding a really serious special relationship. And I don't think you did that this year. You know what I mean?

And I think also you can look at somebody life and be like, I really want that. But like, look at all the years it took to get there. Like, you didn't have a serious relationship. the whole time we did the podcast. Yeah. And you waited for the right person. So, like, yeah, you could look at somebody and be like, that relationship's perfect and I want that.

And it's like, well, look at all the years they didn't have that. Yeah, it took a long time to get here. You can do that with people's career too. You know, yeah, some people just blow up and it feels like it's an overnight success. But other people, it's like it took a really fucking long time and hard work and blood sweat and tears to get here. And then think to yourself, I can do that too. So that was my reflection on the year romantically.

And I feel like our friendship. has been, this is maybe my favorite year of our friendship. Is this your favorite year of our friendship? Yeah. Every year it gets better. I don't know. We had like a blip in 2021, but it was because I was dating somebody. Oh my God.

I had a boyfriend and you couldn't handle it. That's what it was. I'll take you guys. It all comes out. It's like a marriage. Like after five years like, what is there to fight about? They're not to fight about. We just don't really fight or argue or like there's been no bickering.

Well, the other day I was like, you seem like you're in a bad mood. And you're like, you seem like you're in a bad mood. And then we were fine. You know what I was thinking. It's so funny. do that. Like, it's like we're both like projecting on each other or something, whatever. And like, you think I'm in a bad mood and I think you're in a bad mood and like, who's at fault? And we made Tessa decide. No, I'm saying, what if we did? We don't do that. You guys, that would be

insane. That would be abusive. But like, I was thinking like, in a funny way, what if we made, Tessa, who's right? Who's wrong? Can you imagine? Tessa? Tessa would melt to the floor. What if you're like, Bella used to do it? Oh my God. No, it was just a funny thought that I had. We went through like big life changes. I mean, we moved cities together. And, like, you did get a boyfriend that does change the dynamics of a lot of people's relationships. And your best friend in the world, like, has this other person who's also the most important in the world to them. And I don't know.

I just, I felt like really such a team this year. Like, we moved cities. I felt like we, like, uplifted each other so much. We, like, want with each other to, like, look at cars and homes and just did all these, like, really special things together. And managed to, like, really get along and uplift each other and support each other through it. because it's really fucking hard to run two businesses with another person. I know. I have that on my list, too.

I just am so thankful for our friendship, like the way that we move through life together and are quite literally always on the same page. Like, I don't know how we do it. There's always this like nervousness in the back of my mind like, what if one day we're not? But I'm like, I think we got a pretty good track record. You know, like we somehow always feel the same way about things. And we made this move together.

You know, we've wondered if we should move back to the East Coast, not because we don't love it here. just for like some other reasons. Whatever, we don't need to dive into it, but we were still on the same page with that too. And I think that was a large part of it. I mean, you move across the country with your best friend. And then go through those milestones like you said too, like finding places to live, buying cars, it's building out this studio and, you know, just all the things that we have been

ride or die for each other through. I think all those things could like break a relationship. Like finding a home, moving across the country. You have to like rebuild your entire social community. I think that really can break people. So it's nice to have a partner in that. And yeah, I don't care to your boyfriend. It doesn't really affect my life that much other than positively.

Well, thanks. I feel like a huge change I had this year was getting off birth control. And I stopped doing something that I did every day for 20 years that affected my body. And it changed my life. I mean, it really, I'd say that I don't know that I would be with my boyfriend. If I never got off of it, I feel like it's strengthened our friendship. I just felt happier in like my full. And I want to talk about this a little bit later than when we have like a little more time.

I experienced some negative facts. I like was losing hair by the handful. I was like calling you like, this is painful as a woman to like grab a handful of hair, you know. And you know, I'm feeling like in a much better place. I think it's neutralful. But I wouldn't change it, you know, like even though that was like the main negative effect that happened to me. And you know, I'm on the IUD now. It was a tough journey at first.

I was like bleeding in a lot. And I feel like now I'm in a good place. and I don't need to deep dive on all that. But I just feel like this year, like, I want to speak so sensitively, but I was like woken up to the fact of like what the birth control pill can mean for women and getting off of it. And I heard so many women's stories and we had Jolene on. And, you know, we're so lucky to have access to contraception.

And I just implore women to like do what's best for them while still being able to live your best life and avoid unwanted pregnancy. And that fucking is hard and it sucks. And so I don't want to like shit on the birth control. But like, I don't know. It just was, that was a big theme of my year. It was like one of the main themes was like this, I think of my life like before getting off the pill and after, you know, so it changed a lot for me.

And, you know, I know other people have the same story. And please just don't go like getting off the pill and get pregnant, you know, and have to deal with that. But like maybe think about what you have going on in your body, you know. So people know how we feel when it comes to that. But that was like, you're on an IUD now. I just have been waiting for so long. I will say I wanted to take it out.

I mean, I was retributing the hair loss to that, which I don't think it was. It was from like getting off the pill. And I bled for 10 days and then to have two weeks off and then blood for another seven days. And then like I think I'm done. I had like a little bit of spotting. I think I'm on that like Moreno wave where I'm like not really going to get a period. But it was at the beginning I was like, I ran. I can't.

And it said you can do that for six months. I'm like, I can't bleed two weeks on, two weeks off for six months. I will lose my fucking mind. I know. I was worried about you being on it because you really would hate that. I had like a bad three months, but six months, there's no way you could deal with it. Well, it's tough if you're three months and then you're like, also it could be another three. Like, what?

I don't know. Okay. So I want to talk about moving. Okay. This has been the most transformative year of my life in so many years. I mean, you moved from Atlanta. You had like most of your adult life in Atlanta and then a huge chunk of it in New York. But I've only ever lived in New York and so much of my identity is wrapped up in being a New Yorker.

Like, I don't know if people in other cities relate to that. I grew up in Pittsburgh. I don't know that so much of my identity is wrapped up and being a person from Pittsburgh. But like being a New Yorker was all that I was. And it was 15 years of my life. And I just thought like if I'm not a New Yorker, like, what am I? I really subscribe to like hustle culture and doing all this stuff and being able to like go to a museum and a restaurant opening and having all these people around me. And that was my only identity.

And I thought people that like moved away and wanted to like live in other cities were like weak. And I didn't understand it. And I always knew I could have like better weather and a bigger home somewhere else. But I was like I'll feel like I bitched out on something. And I never thought I could enjoy anything else. And I wouldn't even even consider it. And I would tell people like, you will bury me in this city. I will never leave.

Yeah. I really did. I thought like what does it say about me if I want to leave? And like, what does my life look like? What is my love life and my social life? And I don't know if anybody else relates to this. I mean, New Yorkers do. But like, that was my main primary identity.

And so leaving, I was just like, what is this? mean about me. Like, did I bitch out of this? Am I not like a hustler anymore? Because I don't want to live here. And that has not been my experience. I've just, we took a chance. If you guys haven't been around for the whole year, we went to L.A. We were going to stay for three months. I think about six weeks in, we both really wanted to commit and stay forever. And I'm glad I had a partner in that, of course. And we're really lucky that we had a foundation of friends here. So I want to say that like, it's not easy to pick up your whole life and go somewhere. But it's been the best thing in the world. And we kind of waffled back and forth between moving back. We can

talk about it a little bit, but I was talking to two different friends last night and today, and I was like, we're going to stay in L.A. And they were like, yeah, I've never seen you happier. I've never seen you girls happier. And I don't know. I just, I didn't realize something else could make me happy. And just because leaving something was so difficult and I sobbed my way through it, doesn't mean that something else can't also make you happy. And I really value quiet and actually not having to do something every second of every day and not having to like be surrounded by people that like their whole personality is like crush it at all costs. I've just,

I've learned that I can be happy with something else. Yeah. I think that's a great lesson to learn. I think a lot of people learn that during COVID. You know, I think a lot of people did feel like their identity may have been wrapped up in like the city they lived in, whether it's, you know, New York or L.A.

or Chicago or San Francisco or whatever it may be and move to maybe a slower pace of life. And we're like, I like this. I'm happy. I don't have the anxiety. I sleep better at night. And so I, totally understand. I mean, we definitely did a lot. We accomplished a lot and we felt ready to slow down

a little bit and have like a sunnier, happier quality of life. And we love New York. You know, we are kind of figuring out how to really have more of a presence there and whether we have a studio there, like a shared apartment or something for a minute. I aren't going to live together finally after all this time. I called Ashley. I was like laughing so hard. I was like, we're finally doing it. Yeah. And we'll keep you guys updated, of course, on our moves that we make. But yeah, it was crazy because listening back, to the reading with Kelly, I never would have thought you would have stayed. So the fact that we really chose to do this together and stay. And to your point about friends, I mean, like this is every year we learn this. And this is our life story is the importance of friends, especially the importance of

girlfriends. But they really do help you get through. You know, they enhance your life in such a special way. And we just had this weekend last weekend. We were like, God, we just have these friends. And again, this is like friends we've built up over time, but also friends we've made here. Like, it really is never too to make good girlfriends whenever, your 30s, your 40s, your 50s, your 60s, your 70s, whatever. And we continuously learn that in just how much they mean and how much they keep you sane and help you get through life and help us survive. Yeah, it's been really nice. That's what's been so wonderful for me here.

I never thought I could enjoy a life where I just like at 5 o'clock at the end of my day. I like read a book outside and just kind of like listen to the trees and relax. And it's not like, where am I going to go binge drink tonight? And I'm also older than I was. You know, like, this is not a life I would have wanted at 25 or 30 or even 35. I didn't want it. So, like, I've gotten older. I want different things.

I just didn't know I could ever really enjoy that. And I thought, like, what does this mean about me? And it's like, it's also okay to get older and want different things. Like, I like that things start earlier here. I like that a birthday party starts at 5 o'clock here. And I know I'll be in bed at 9.30. I like that. Yeah.

And I think it's a nice way of life. And I've certainly waffled. I feel like I gave up a lot leaving New York. And I've had to learn how to have long distance. friends for the first time in my life because I really haven't had never left. I've never had to do that much. Yeah. But I'm still working on that and being better at that. But I just, I feel really happy here. And I didn't know that you could like pick up your life and move and do that. Yeah. And I think even going back to Alyssa's episode, who also moved here from New York,

she just talks about how the energy shift is so powerful. And don't let anybody shame you for whatever the fuck you want to do. You know, like people may be like, you're going to leave. You're going to leave all this. You're going to do this. Like, do what you want. Do what makes you happy. Move to New York from the country if you think that's going to make you happy. You know, like it changed our lives moving there. Might me. Like you too, but like you were already there. But I'm saying like I started a whole new adult life in New York and I wouldn't trade any second of it. So just do what's going to make you happy or if you feel like you aren't sure and you want to try something. Do it scared. You know, I just think don't let people bully you out of it.

Totally. Or shame you out of it. I wanted to be like ready beyond a doubt. And I was. I was very, I needed a break from New York. I was really done with it. I just, I needed a break. I stayed through COVID. I stayed for everything. I did mine. But I feel really settled and good. And I think that a lot of people are like, should I change my life. Should I try this? Yeah, you should try it. And if you don't like it, you can always go back. I really do believe that. Yeah, of course, you can always go back. Yeah. I mean, it's not my dream to be in this long distance relationship. I miss my boyfriend every day. But I mean, it's fine. We'll make it work. You know, I think a lot about Heather McMahon and Jeff, because they're my favorite couple, quite honestly. And, and. They were long distance for years. You know, I don't want it to be longer than like two years-ish overall. But I think about her and him a lot. It was just this like, we know we're going to be together. There's no doubt in our minds. We're going to work it out and it'll be fine, you know.

Yeah. Yeah. That's really special. I guess also the last, just the last thing about that relationship, I just, you know, I've been in love before, but not like this type of relationship that's so secure and really just so mature and reciprocal. and respectful and just what it should be.

So that's been nice. And I just think this isn't a hot take, but just to not get in your own way. I mean, I shudder to think of like little things or doubts that would have stopped me from moving forward with him. Like, nothing about him, but just like, is this the right person? He lives across the country.

It was just like, you know, little things. It was just like, I just, thank God. You know, like I really think about that phrase a lot. Like, just don't get in your own way. You know, if you're enjoying somebody, they're treating you well. you like them enough to want to see them again or talk to them again. Just go with it and see what happens.

Like, don't get in your own way. Yeah. Well, I love that. I think it's important that you also picked some of your friends and family likes. I think that's really important to you. It's really important to me. And I remember picking people in my 20s, especially, that like my friends weren't like the biggest fan of. But I was like, what do I care?

I like them. You know, that's not really how I want to live my life. And I think you picked somebody that fits nicely into the fold as well. Yeah, it's been great for me. Okay. My favorite part of this episode every year, the pop culture list and the breakup list. And then we asked you guys lessons that you learned this year and things you change.

So we'll get into that. Do you want me to do the breakup list first? It's shorter than maybe your pop culture list. Yeah, because I don't want to scoop you on one of these two, which I'm sure you know which one. But you know what I'm saying? Well, so my breakup list is a little shorter this year, you guys. I do like most famous celebrity.

Quality, not quantity. 2023 gave us some quality. I mean, just the team. was unreal. Unbelievable. So I like to see it. I'm glad. I'm like trying to cheat because I'm like, do you have this. Don't fucking look, bitch. Okay, there's one that I hope you made that's on the list.

So usually like I calm my, my memory on the internet. I think about like water off the breakups. Yeah, you gotta go back. And 21 and 22, they gave us some good ones. Okay, Kim and Kanye, Tom and Giselle, Lisa Bonnet, and Jason Mamoa, Jalo and Arod.

Like, all these other years have given us some like really juicy celebrity ups, not as many this year. So there's a couple of important breakups that I want a highlight of celebrities and then I have a bonus category. So the breakups I care about. I know other people broke up you guys. I just don't care. So Britney Spears and Sam Ascarry. Do you know how you say his name? Sounds about right. I root for Britney. But I don't, I don't know if he was in her best interest. So we saw that. Taylor Swift and Joe Alwin and Taylor Swift and Matt Healy.

Oh, right. I care about this because it gave us Taylor Swift and Travis. Yeah. So I deeply care. Joe Jonas and Sovi Turner, one of the craziest breakups of the year. We just watched this play out. Okay. Sophia Bush and Grant Hughes. I don't really care, but then she became a lesbian. Right. So now I care.

Yeah. Okay. Sophia Fergera and Joe Mangonell. Joe Mangonell, they, oh yeah, they did break up. They did, and I care about this because he lit the Venice sign on Saturday night, which was supposed to be at 8 p.m. And he was an hour late. I'm glad we went to dinner.

The D-List celebrity had the nerve. He's so hot, though. She's not even married to Sophia anymore. Get out of here. that they broke up. Ariana Grande and Dalton Gomez. So I will say I don't care that much about that, but it opened me up to a world of learning about Ariana Grande T.

Yeah. So I didn't know about that in the past. Totally. And then she's with SpongeBob. Right. I just didn't, I didn't know or care about anything she did until then. Jeremy Allen White and Addison Timlin.

Jeremy Allen White is the chef of the bear. He was also Lip and Shameless, which is one of the best shows. Why do we care about this? because I just, I feel like people started watching the bear and everybody was woken up to the fact that they wanted to fuck Jeremy Allen White. So he has been re-released into the wild. Thank you, Addison.

Thank you for your service. And we have one on the cusp. So Kylie and Travis Scott, she is a celebrity and also reality TV star. So I sort of care about this, but this segues into the reality TV portion of the program. Okay. So celebrity breakups not that strong this year. Don't really care that much about most of these. but reality TV gave us the greatest breakups of the year.

Yes, okay. Even if you didn't care previously about reality TV, you do now. Okay, even Ashley cares. And in previous years, I've been like, maybe these reality, these were, okay, we're going to start with the biggest, craziest. Tom and Ariana, scandaball, the most important thing, my whole personality for like three to four years of this year.

I'm pretty sure they still live together, so I don't really care about that anymore. Yeah. So that happened and that was crazy. My craziest breakup of the year, actually I'll save it. Here's some funny ones. Kim Zoltiac and Croy. Oh, yeah.

Are they back together though? No, I've really, I've enjoyed this breakup because they've been so messy publicly. Yes, I love when people are messy. They're so generous. He put out this public statement saying we're divorced and she's like, why don't you fuck me yesterday? Kim. So I've loved how messy this is. One that I poured out a little liquor for I didn't see coming.

I feel sad about a Caitlin Bristow and Jason Tartick. Yes. I just want everything good for her. Yes. We love her and we felt for that one. She was teasing that it happened for like three months and then she was like, please respect my privacy. She really, she did slow roll it out.

I love her. Chris Appleton and Lucas Gage. Chris Appleton was crazy. Lucas Gage was crazy to me because you watch. Chris Appleton is Kim Kardashian's longtime makeup artist. One of the hottest men alive, by the way. I know he's a gay man, but he's in my top five looks wise. I mean, obviously I would fuck him if he, well, if I was single and he was straight.

But like, I find him so attractive. would give you a pass. That's the hottest man at life. He's so hot. And Lucas Gage was in season one of White Lotus. He is the employee of the White Lotus that the manager of the White Lotus jerks off. Oh, right, right, right. So that was pretty shocking because Kim Kardashian's whole episode, she marries them and then, like, poof, they're separated.

Yeah, I wonder how that worked out if they had to wait to announce the breakup till after the episode aired. I think they announced it, like, immediately after it aired. No, it was immediately after. I would know because I keep up. But the episode, Shania Twain. was on it. It was crazy. And it was the next week. So it was like a shock to the system. You're like, I just watched this. I know short-lived marriages, whatever, but they still come out of nowhere. Like six-month marriages are still shocking. Oh, that's super shocking. Yeah. I mean,

it's not 10 days in Vegas, not shocking, you know? Yeah. But like six months, a little strange. Okay, I have two left. They're both shocking to me. One, I care a little more about. Kyle Richards and Mauricio Umanski was the shock of the century. She is the original Beverly Hills housewife. She's Paris Hilton's aunt, if you don't know who that is. She was married to Maricio for 30-something years. Just shocked my life. Here's something funny.

I remember where I was when I found out that they split. We were on a boat on July 4th. Oh, yeah. And I remember where I was when Tom and Ariana split. I was in the Tampa Marriott. Well, the craziest thing about, not the craziest thing. The craziest thing about Scandabal is not helping her right. I found out, to be clear.

But like, we were in Miami, at Laura. and Vanderpump was on. And I've never seen an episode. And I go, it just looks so dusty to me. And I said, is this an old episode? I said, is this an old episode? And you were like, this is the current episode. So I watched my very first episode of Vanderpump ever, the current episode, the day before

this news broke. That's crazy. And so it was like so funny that I was like, oh, yeah, I'll settle in for this. And I watched it. And I was like, okay, so it's just all these restaurant people rolling silverware and talking shit. You know, it's just like. What do you say rolling somewhere? It's such a thing.

It's not a day. We used to have to roll silver. Yeah, I was a waitress for so many years. It's just funny the way you said. It's funny. They're doing sidework and talking shit. It's just like, it was just funny. And then you were like, by the way, and I could not grasp it.

And then why it was like so huge. And then it lasted for six months. It was on CNN. Yeah. It was fucking crazy. And I bought the merch. I got sent it to Daryl sweatshirts. I have everything.

And then my other craziest breakup that I really never saw coming, Lindsay Hubbard and Carl Radke, just really shocking to me. There are the stars of Summerhouse. They were supposed to be married in the fall. I just thought if they dealt with each other this long, they're going to keep dealing with each other. Summerhouse.

It's the only Bravo show I watch, right? Yeah. I like that you're asking me. I don't watch any other shows. You watch Southern Charm. No, I mean, not regularly. You say that all the time, and then I remind you you do watch it.

But then I fall off. Like, I watch every episode of Summer House. I mean, you know, like, I started watching it when Hannah was on it, and then I just kept watching it and we love Paige and then we had Sierra and Maya. And so then I'm very invested in Lindsay and Carl. Not as people that I necessarily like.

I'm going to be kind to here. I'm not like team either, really. Totally. But very invested. When that tea dropped Reno. I remember I was too. I was on the Peloton upstairs. I told you.

I was on the Pelotone. I was fell off the fucking Pelotime. I couldn't believe I told you. You were in the middle of a workout and I see it in my feet. I'm like, oh my God. And then when she released a statement, we were in a car in Ireland. I have no memory for anything. I can tell you everywhere I was when everybody broke up.

Like, I'm more invested than this in Scandival because I watched the show. You know, it doesn't matter. I hosted a birthday party. Yeah, I got into Vanderpump as much as I could. I watched both reunions. Like, I tried my best. I really feel like I did pretty well. You know, I wanted to be a good friend to you.

And so, but like summer house, I'm like, I cannot fucking wait for the season. And now we're going to see how it plays out. Like, I mean, a lot of you really don't know and or don't care. But, like, the relationship is fascinating because they were best friends for a lot of time. And then they did try to date once. It was an absolute train wreck. And when you were watching them, Dave, for the first time, you're like, there's no fucking way they'll ever get together again. And they did.

And they got engaged and he's sober. And I didn't think that it would happen. I did not either. And they got engaged. And her friend Danielle on the show was just basically like, this is, I mean, they like burned that relationship down to the ground as he was like, Carl, forever. Carl till I die. And I listened to her on Nick Fiall's podcast.

You guys can draw your own conclusions. I have watched these people on television for a lot of years. And I don't think that's always necessarily the truth, what you're seeing. But, like, I also hosted Carl's birthday party a couple years ago, a comedy show. So him and I are good friends. I'm just kidding. We're not friends with either of them. We're not friends with them.

But I've watched them on television along enough to be like, I kind of get it. And I was very, very shocked by this. And so the thing I'm, like, so looking forward to is watching the season. Holy shit. This is like, I thought the, should we get this? together. Should we hang out? Should we have social plans? Like, it's the new Bachelor Mondays for us. I'm dead serious. Dead ass. I'm very excited to watch this whole thing play out. He is not giving interviews. And I invited him on the show. I reached out to him and I was like, do you want to come on?

and he basically was like, the world is going to watch this play out. He said it very kindly. Yeah. You know, no shame to him. He wrote you back a nice message. Really nice message. Yeah. But he basically was like, I'm not going to do interviews right now and everybody will watch this play out as it should. Yeah, again, I'm not trying to sway you guys one way or the other. Team Carl, team Lindsay, whatever conclusions you want to draw. But he was really kind to you and the message back. Yeah. It sounded like you needed a friend. He overshared. Yeah, he shared. But I, you know, I don't like to watch anything go down. I don't like to watch any breakups. I'm sure it's devastating. Somebody pulling the rug out from under you right before your wedding. I can certainly identify with

because it happened to me. So I don't root for anybody's pain. Yeah. It wasn't that. I want to be clear. We weren't like, you know, but we're stinking our teeth into the tea. You can't help yourself. Yeah, I'm a reality of just. If you still feel for anyone who was going through. Yeah. These were my breakups of the year. These are the ones I cared about the most. Okay.

That gave me the most. Just tingle in my body. Okay. Okay. So that's my breakup list. Okay. Going to do the pop culture list. I think I've given up on doing like 10, but they're in chronological order by month.

Okay. So I'm going to start at the top of the year. Okay. Okay. We start in March. I don't know what happened in January and February. I don't really. Did we even live in January?

It rained for two months here. Nothing happened. Nothing really happened. Okay. So March, the heiress tour did start. So Taylor Swift copied our tour dates and she did the first tour. And, you know, I don't need to dwell in this, but it is poised to become the highest grossing global tour of all time, according to Billboard's estimates. So no official numbers yet.

It's still happening. But her tour should pass current record holder Elton John with more than $900 million in ticket sales so far. It boosted the economy, you know, along with Beyonce, along with Barbie, we'll get to it. And we love it. And we didn't go, but we may still go. We are going to go in Amsterdam. We're randomly going to go in Amsterdam. We're going to crash our friends honeymoon.

Okay. And also in March was Scandival. Don't need to dwell on that. Also in March was the Gwyneth Paltrow ski trial. I'm like, you did not get involved in this. That's so funny. You did not get involved in this, but like it was televised and it just became such a meme. And after it was over, did you ever see this?

Like, Gwyneth whispered in this guy's ear, I wish you well after the jury rolled in her favor. Hearing her, I could watch it again. So it's going to be made into a musical at London's Pleasant's Theater. That's so petty. Like the prosecuting attorney. She had like Michael Scott Elwood's high school mock trial energy. That was this comment someone wrote. Like watching the prosecuting attorney and like the language Guineathotra used and then they asked her if like she gifted Taylor Swift to vibrate her.

Like it was an insane trial. It felt fake. It felt like that show. What's this? Oh. The jury? James Marzin or whatever. I think it's called the jury.

Yeah, which I didn't watch, but I'm assuming it's the same. I started. It's just, yeah, you got it. You had the nail that head. Okay, April. Love is Blind, absolutely bombing a live broadcast. I will never forget being on my television and just hitting, just reload over and over again. We're in the group chats.

There was never more group chats than that day. My women in America being like, are you getting an error message? The biggest broadcast platform in the world couldn't handle a live stream. And then let's not forget when it did air, unhinged Vanessa. I miss her. Listen, she was a little problematic when she was asking everyone when they were having babies, but I miss that crazy energy. Vanessa was on one.

We just, we talked to my ship and then she came back all like poised and normal and now I'm like, I don't want it. I don't want it either. She was an uncaged animal. I missed that Vanessa. Okay. In May, Beyonce's Renaissance tour started.

We went. We've talked about it. We talk about Beyonce all the time. Just a couple things. I feel like the Blue Ivy debut was huge. And then the mute challenge, of course. Totally. Okay. Then we have our summer of women, boosting the economy, July, Barbie. You know what can we say? It's Barbie. Biggest debut ever for a film directed by a woman, just a huge cultural moment, empowered a lot of women, inspired a lot of breakups. A lot of good came out of it. We love it. We love Barbie. We broke it down after we saw it. July. Extension gate. Mine? Yeah. I'm part of the pop culture list. And I have to tell you, I had a tough time to sign between extension gate and bike gate.

And how'd you choose? Why is why are the extensions more important to you than they? I think the extensions lasted longer. Like we had another thing with the extensions. Like they kept it going. I don't know. We can cut this rain if you don't want to say this. But I feel like we later found out that the bike was already broken.

Yeah. This is December's pop culture moment. So the bike was broken previously. And we looked at old pictures. Yeah. Because people were looking at the location. And then people were sending photos. then we were realizing like, oh my God, that photo was like from June.

Totally. So they reset it up to look not broken. So they set me up. But people were like, why don't you tell someone? I can't believe you broke. There was nobody to tell them in a little town in the middle of Italy. There isn't like a guest services area. I know.

Some people really came for Raina and it's like, ha, ha, ha, it was already broken. Shut the fuck up. I didn't break the Sistine Chapel. There was nobody to talk to. But that was an honorable mention was bike gate. And if you guys were new around here, Rainer put her prada bag on this bike in Italy and it snapped in half. But it was already broken. Okay.

July. Kim versus Courtney La Dolce Vida lifestyle I live the Dolce Vita lifestyle with ice cream and gelato If you watch the Kardashians This Kim and Courtney feud I was so into it Okay so La Dolce Vita

And then Honorable mention was who the Jenners are dating I think it's insane I think it's insane that it was Kendall with Bad Bunny And Kylie with Timothy Shalome Blue my fucking mind both of them That's top is Kylie and Timothy Shalame For Most Unexpected couple of the year I think if you told me that it was in the reverse

If you told me that Kylie started dating bad money, I'd be like, that tracks. And Kendall, I'd be like, I don't know what she's doing out here. Totally. Timothy, shall meet? Sure. Yes. Totally. Who the genders were dating.

Okay. August was, and just like that. So Carrie and Aiding getting back together. Che Diaz and Miranda breaking up. And then the return of Samantha. Uh-huh. August, Donald Trump's mugshot. So Donald Trump being indicted.

The mugshot released. Like, did you see that one thing? It was like, why are we waiting on this? it's a new album to drop. Because it was like, his mugshot release tomorrow. They were like excited. It was so excited. He's the president and you knew he was going to make some dumb face.

Like there was no way he was going to make a face that I didn't have something to say about. And then, I mean, it's fucking awful. And I mean, he's so slippery. I don't know if he's going to get out of all this. But I mean, everyone really testified against him for rigging the fucking election. You know, like everyone turned on him. You know, you love to see it. Yeah, he'll be the president again.

But, you know. Oh, stop. Okay. September, Roman Empire. Huge. Huge. We're still saying it. I can't stop saying it.

So the Roman Empire, I mean, all these things are Roman empires, but the Roman Empire started the whole thing on TikTok in September. September also Taylor and Travis, of course. We've broken that down. We don't need to revisit it. Is that your biggest couple of the year? Craziest, most exciting. Not craziest unexpected. That's still Kylie and Timothy Shalome. But yes, biggest deal of the year. Couple-wise, honorable mention, Travis Kelsey's old tweets. Okay. Okay. That was November. October, we have the Britney book, bombshells left and right.

Okay. October was, I just wanted to put in a scandal for myself. I don't want you to be the only person with a scandal and that was Cake Gate. Cake Gate. Sparkleized birthday cake. Oh, Cake Gate. I still think about that cake. That's my Roman Empire. And then brand new, what's been lately is the stuff that's already happened. So a lot of stuff is still Travis and Taylor, you know, all of that.

But just yesterday, Amy Roebuck and T.J. Holmes, who were the co-host of GMA3, which Rain and I went on last year. last year. And then they were having an affair and now their exes are dating each other. It's crazy. It's fucking crazy. Yeah. And we talked about this in a very funny way with Ali Colbert on her podcast recently. I should listen to it.

And when we did that interview, it was right before this like affair news broke and we felt like such a sexual energy in the room. And now they're, did they get married? No. They're just out together. They made their first red carpet appearance together. And it's like, I do understand their exes dating because they had like trauma bonded. Like who understands?

understands their experience better than that other person. Were they swingers, you think? No, I think they're just cheating. Okay. I thought Amy Roback said that she was separate. One of them was separated from their partner or separated. Yeah, I remember that too. I don't think it was like two people cheated on their spouses.

But again, I don't want to speak. So I just think it's crazy. This wasn't so huge, but it was like huge to us because we like met them and interview with them. And then it was like weeks later that this came out and now the exes are together. It's crazy. So, yeah, I mean, something else could happen in the next couple weeks. weeks, but I feel like this year, when I started making this list, I was like, God, there wasn't

that much. And then I really, there always is, like, funny stuff. But it wasn't, it was just like a few really huge things. That's what I'm saying to you. Like the breakups weren't that crazy either this year. I feel like it was quantity. It was quality, not quantity this year. Totally. I feel like we've been through enough. I feel like 2020, 2021. It gave us enough. 22, we're all calming down. 23rd, it's just, it's smooth waters. I love to see it. I like that you do chronological. Yeah. You usually rank them. I like the style better. I know. It's hard to rank. Well, I felt like I really got like a whole 360 view of the year. And, you know, I wanted to also mention like the writer strike.

And that's not a good thing that happened. And a lot of people were out of work. And there was a lot of loss there. But they have figured it out. And so if we're talking about pop culture and the people that like make these shows and everything happen, one not the reality ones. But, you know, I think it's important that people are getting back to work. And, you know, they're able to feel more compensated.

So yeah. And they can make pop culture happen. Yeah. Wow. That was really special. Thank you for doing that. Okay. well, we are going to wrap up with the lessons our audiences learn this year. And in years past,

we've asked for accomplishments. And we love them and they always make us cry. And we are sure you guys had a lot of the same. And it's always very special things. You know, it's that someone finished grad school or they got their dream job or they beat cancer. They got married or they had a baby. Like, there's always these really special things. They got divorced. Yeah. Bought house, bought their first car, all these things. All these things. Yes. Milestones and whatnot. But we wanted to mix up a little bit this year. Yeah. And if you did do any of those Congratulations. We love being a part of it. Nothing will ever mean more to us is when you say we inspired you to make positive changes in your life. So we are a part of it, even better. Thank you

so much. Okay. So some lessons you learned this year? Yeah. That I can only control so much, and I have to let it go. I think that we're going to do an episode on the first of the year just about how much pressure women put on themselves to be perfect and that they always feel like they need to be at capacity, making everything perfect. And I think it's, let it go is really easy said and hard to do. Some people just don't know how to be happy for others and those aren't your people. It's a great thing to remember. Yeah.

Like I always say, that's their shit, not yours. Totally. I mean, I think that friendships in my life have changed a little bit this year and it's hard to let go of things and make peace with it. But I think as long as you know you've done everything to make something okay, then I can be at peace with it, I guess. Okay. Don't let your fear of doing something stop you from doing it. Absolutely. And I think that like every time I've done something really hard,

really difficult, the best things in the world have come from it, like moving. Mm-hmm. Put yourself first. You can't pour from an empty cup. Same sentiment as put on your mask before assisting others with their mask. They say that on the plane. This is important. I mean, you know, I think this put yourself first, people can twist it and make it out to seem like it's selfishness, but this is true. You can't help others and be happy and support others if you aren't really happy yourself. So I think it's always like important to remember. that. I think so too. I have a cup metaphor for you that I learned this year, which was somebody said to me, stop trying to drink water out of a cup with a hole in it. Oh. And I like the metaphor of just like,

you keep trying to make this better, but like it is broken and it's not going to be fixed. So it's okay to like move on from it. So I like that metaphor. Don't compare your relationship timeline to your friends. We are all on our path, which is just kind of funny that that was at the top because we did talk about that. I like how this girl wrote this. Stop people pleasing. You matter too. I've never heard that second part of that. Stop people pleasing is, you know, common sense. But seeing to yourself, like, I also matter. I'm also a person here. I think is really important to frame it that way. I like this to someone learn this about their partner or their relationship. Sometimes men don't think their feelings are valid. I need to support my partner. I just think that's important.

You know, we have some narratives about men or men and women. And, you know, I think that, like, it's nice to obviously realize you need to support your partner and that their feelings matter. and maybe you need to like view them in a different light. Yeah. I mean, I don't know the whole story there, but I like that. I wonder if you about this. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. It really is greener where you water it.

Oh my God. I love that. I love that analogy of just like, listen, if something's bad, move on from it. And if you're not happy in your job, your relationship, romantically or friendship in a city, I do believe fully move on. But, you know, if you feel like maybe it's better over there,

like try to make where you are better. Yeah, I really like that. Getting older is not a bad thing. every year I get more knowledge about myself. I really love that framing of aging. Like it is such a privilege. I was watching, I think, Lady Gang, and Sharon Stone was on it.

And she was like, I don't know, she's 50, 50s. And she was just like, I'm the hottest I've ever been. I know it. Same girl. And I was just like, I love that energy. Like, it's better. It's better. It gets better.

You know, like, and yeah, we don't physically like to age, but that's like rooted in. Patriarchy and all these things, which we'll talk about in the first of the year as well. But like, it's a privilege. You're lucky. You have more knowledge. You're smarter. You're getting funnier. Your bar for things is getting higher. Like, just try as much as you can to embrace it and get excited about it. And I know it's not always easy. Stuff gets easier also. I just, I learned to like let stuff go that I used to just marinate on for so long. Someone said to just say yes to dates, to trips to adventures with friends. We always say that. If you feel like you want to change in your life, just say yes to everything. The not responding is a response.

I love that. I think we said that early on. I love this. Nothing stays the same. Basque in the good times when they come around. The second part of that sounds a little ominous, but things change. I mean, I think that a lot of people have a hard time with change. And the more you can accept that nothing stays the same forever, it just doesn't.

You know, and I worry about that too. I'm like, when is this going to change? It's so good right now. But like, things don't have to turn from good to bad. They can just change in a positive way. And we all grow and relationships change and jobs change. And, you know, I think that's just important to remember. It's like a lesson you're constantly learning.

Yeah. Speaking of basking and the good times, like, I've learned to just be more present as I've gotten older. And that's harder and harder every year as social media is like, but look over here. There's more things to pay attention to. So I've just tried to be more present in the moment and not be on my phone. And that's really, like, important to me. Someone wrote you owe it to yourself to have the hard conversations. And I think you owe it to yourself and you owe it to others that,

you want to maintain a relationship with that's important to you. I was talking about this with a friend the other day, talking about having issues with friends. And it's like sometimes you just have to fucking do it. It sucks. But maintaining relationships is often about hard conversations. Hopefully, you know, the fewer, the better. But still, you owe it to everybody. Yeah.

My deepest, strongest relationships are people I've had conflict with, you know, and not friendship ending terrible conflict. But I've said over the years, the thing I want to work on is actually addressing conflict. And I just, I feel like I've like really. become a different person in terms of like talking about things and they bother me and being able to say the hard things and like push through it. And I never regret ever having those conversations. My life has always gotten better via those type of conversations. Absolutely. Okay. Should we do the biggest changes you made this year? Okay. So we also asked what are the

biggest changes you made this year? Because we made a lot of big changes this year and shit went down. So we wanted to see what you guys did. Ended a two and a half year relationship and re-apportized friends and family. I think that finding relationships is really But ending them is almost more transformative because you are forced to make really big changes and You know reintroduce yourself to who you are today and build things around you and make friendships again and travel and all those things So it is really transformative and brave A lot of these are just I mean they're like simple, but they make me really emotional and stuff of like no more Situationships starting learning to date healthier people

Just no contact with a toxic X like things like that and you know I hope that we can contribute to that in some way. It's just when you really do stop those patterns and look for healthier people, healthier relationships, it's life-changing. Yeah. So I like somebody since I stopped sharing on social media for attention. Love that. I think a lot of us do that. We're always, you know, fishing for somebody to tell you you look sexy or that thing is cooler to show off your life. And it's nice to just be present in the moment. Not taking things so personally. Mm-hmm. Some things are personal. Wait, I'm obsessed with this one.

I got bangs. Bangs. I got bangs. And it wasn't because of a breakup or midlife crisis. That's so funny. Like she has to clarify because you hear bangs, you're like, breakup. No, totally. Absolutely.

Letting go of people who I don't enjoy hanging around. It sounds simple, but I feel like, especially after college, it's just like you have your group. They were just these built-in friends that were given to you. And it's hard to be like, oh, I don't like these people. So it's really bravely. to move on from this. Somebody finally got their own IUD and their own apartment.

I love that one. I saw the ID in the apartment. I'm 38 and used a vibrator for the first time. God, I feel emotional. So happy. Thanks to your podcast and The Little Debbie. Whoa,

hold on to start your journey with that. Okay. I'm glad you said that because somebody emailed this morning. I don't know if I. That's like, what is that like? That's starting on like a black diamond hill. That's crazy.

It's like what is the metaphor that really is in? This guy is really, because it's not like it's hard. It's just you're starting too good. It's too good. Like you should start with a bullet. No, no offense. You did the right thing that you have.

It's too good. You went too hard. So somebody emailed this morning and he was like, I really want to get, maybe he'd be me. He said, I really want to get my wife a vibrator. She's never owned one. But I think that she would really enjoy something from your company. And what would you recommend for her first one?

And I was just like, not the suckers, but also the suckers. Do whatever you want to do. But, you know, if I were to recommend a jury. If you're using vibrators for the first time, I would think just like something that is going to vibrate on your clit to start, which Ashley wand is my favorite introductory vibrator. I love the Ashley, but I will say I've really been loving the Lucy and like that mini wand head and, you know, the rabbit ears. Like, it's a great starter one too. And you can absolutely start with the sucker, but I don't know how you go back. Yeah. I mean, you got to work your work. You're going to have to go back. It's also fine. I said that to me this morning. I was like, I got to stop using it because it's going to ruin my.

my life. I also like the Lucy that we sell because it's a bunch of different vibrators in ones. You kind of see what you enjoy a little bit more. Have you done the rabbit ears? Just they stroke the size of your clit. Just like this. And it feels so nice. I love our new Lucy. I'm so passionate about it. Yes. That's actually the perfect starter pack. We need to call the Lucy the masturbation starter pack. That's funny. You have those three sensations, something for your partner. Okay. But yeah, no shade to this girl. To start your masturbation journey with the little Debbie, go all the way off queen. I'm a bidetig early now. Well, I love this. That's funny. Also, like, having a gym routine, I'm a weightlifting babe,

which I always say, like, when I started doing flywheel back in 2012, it changed my life. Like, I think, again, in my life before flywheel and after, and now I do Peloton, but flywheel's no longer. But it was like, to find that thing that, like, enhances your life and you really makes you feel good about your body, like, it changes you. So it's like, I'm not a weightlifting babe, and I probably never will be. But she found what works for her. And I love that. You find the thing. Paliton was the thing for me.

Yeah. Right. That's exactly for you. This girl said she's trying to incorporate more anal into her sex life. They don't have any more babies. Oh, God. I decide to stop having babies. Paying attention to my diet and seeing how it affected my mental health.

I think constantly being on a diet also affects your mental health. So any positive changes you can make around the way that you eat and a connection with your gut and your body I think is really phenomenal. So much of just listening to your body in every way. Yeah. You know how important that is. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, just so many people said, like, developing new habits and healthy living and loving myself authentically, being in therapy, being selfish. Stop letting others dictate my happiness. I just, I love it. Those are real decisions you have to make for yourself because you can live comfortably for the rest of your life, people pleasing and trying to live your life for another person. And it's nice to just take control of your own happiness. I just am constantly learning and relearning. Like, you have to make a decision sometimes. Things just don't, like, fall into your lap all the time. Like, you just have to decide. You know, you have to decide to pick this partner and commit and make a life with them.

You have to decide to do this move or take this job. I mean, and Rain and I go back and forth all the time. Like, we're not saying we are always super confident in our decisions and that we never waffle. But sometimes it's about you just have to decide and be confident in your decision. That was beautiful. Thanks. Well, thank you guys for another wonderful year. I cannot believe we get to do this.

What an honor to have this audience. We love you so much. And thank you for supporting us through everything. coming to the live shows, buying the vibrators, everything you've done for us this year. We wish nothing more than for you guys to just feel really good about your year and have a really healthy 2024. We just love you. Yes. And Merry Christmas. If you celebrate, happy holidays, we will be off next week. But we will be back on the first with a banger of an episode. We will share our goals for 2024. We have an amazing guest that we already teased. And we will see you then.

We love you guys. Have a happy new year. Yes. So check us out. Girls Gotta eat.com. Everything you need there. Of course, Girls Got a podcast and Instagram. and TikTok. I'm Ash Hess. Rain is Rayan.com. Subscribe on YouTube. Share this episode with a friend. Recap your year with your friends over this episode, over drinks, over snacks, whatever. And of course, vibes only.com. Get everything that you need. Change your life. Change your sex life. Start your masturbation journey. And we will see you on the first. Have a good week. We love you guys.