Girls Gotta Eat - Am I the Asshole in the Relationship? with Morgan Absher

Episode Date: March 25, 2024

We are so excited to have Morgan Absher, host of Two Hot Takes podcast, join us to break down some "Am I the asshole?" situations in relationships. We're discussing engagement drama (future in-laws, ring dilemmas), exes still sharing streaming services, what NOT to do when getting a dog with a partner, banning your man from going to the strip club, and more. Morgan also shares how she met her fiancé (and rejected him at first), and the boundaries she set when it came to the engagement timeline. Before she joins us, we're talking about guys' orgasm sounds (from the over-the-top to the nonexistent), Instagram compatibility, Ashley's move, and why Rayna's been getting hit on so much. Enjoy! Find Morgan on instagram @morsyabsher and listen to her podcast Two Hot Takes. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit our website for more info and shop Vibes Only. Thank you to our partners this week: Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns on your order at quince.com/gge. Article: Get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at article.com/gge. Beis: Get 15% off your first purchase at beistravel.com/gge. Hungryroot: Get 40% off your first delivery and free veggies for life at hungryroot.com/gge. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

At least take a fucking minute and look at the Pinterest board. Like, yeah. At that point, you're just being willfully ignorant about what I want for the sake of your own selfish needs. Right. That. Yes. Yes. Good up.

Girls got to eat. Welcome back. We're here. We're really doing it. Nothing to say. I just moved fresh off a move. I feel so happy about it. I feel like I'm somehow not brain.

dead. I thought it was going to be today. Especially when I looked in the mirror this morning and I was like, that is the face of someone who's got nothing going on upstairs. Like I just, you know, you just look beat up. I've just been like, I feel like I've been manual laboring all weekend. Moving is really hard. I couldn't do it.

I mean, you've moved three times in two years including the Airbnb. I couldn't do it. You're stronger than I am. It showed on my spine. Honestly, I thought about moving and I was like, I will just stay in this house with a leaky roof and a leaky studio if I don't want to move. No, I'm bury me in this house. I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving. She's like, do you want her to her lease? I'm like, I'm actually

going to buy it. I can't leave. But you moved into your new house on Friday, and we hung out solo. We did. And it was really fun. It's been on your agenda. Well, it's not on yours? You've just, we've been pushing for it. We haven't hung out solo in a long time. It's important to me. Okay, let's thank a couple of our partners, and then we will jump into it. Thanks to Hungry Root for supporting Girls Got to Eat. Right now, Hungry Root is offering our Girls Got to Eat audience, 40% off your first delivery and free veggies for life. Just go to hungry root.com slash gge. And thanks to base for

supporting girls got to eat. Now we don't need to choose between beautiful pieces and functional luggage. Base luggage makes travel a breeze. Get 15% off your first purchase at base travel.com slash ggge. Yes. And thanks to article for supporting girls got to eat. They're curated assortment of mid-century, modern,

coastal, industrial, Scandy, and boho designs makes furniture shopping simple. Articles offering you $50 off your first purchase of what $100 or more, go to article.com slash gGE. And this episode is sponsored by Quince. Indulge in Affordable Luxury. Go to quince.com slash gge for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.

That's quince.com slash gge. And it's Cindy Hustlete's birthday week. Shout out to all our Aries, Queens and Kings. Yes. We have a March birthday with our guest today. I don't think she's in Aries. I don't remember what the dates of Aries are. She said early, Aries is later in March, early April.

But anyway, my mom's birthday is March 27. So shout it to her. I have not been to her birthday party in so long. The last time I went to her birthday party, Matt and Steph said that they were pregnant. Yes. So a couple years ago, we went to your brothers for your mom's birthday and we lived in New York and I used to drive down all the time together. And a very special moment was that day. So it's my mom 70th.

We may have talked about this. But if you're new around here, welcome. I plan this whole birthday for my mom, you know, in the backbone of the family. And I planned mass rehearsal dinner, plan my mom's. So I planned this like wonderful dinner with all. her friends and everybody at Salt Air and Rehoboth and we met at Mats beforehand and they gave my mom like her birthday

card and in it was the sonogram photo and she's in the kitchen and she just starts tearing up and my immediate reaction because kids are not in my mind even though I knew they were trying. I've watched a lot of baby reveals with Ashley. Her mind never goes to baby. It doesn't go there. Never. Even if I know

you've been trying. I know you've been fucking. I know you've been trying. I still I can't because it's so far off my radar at all time. But the way that you sound, so I have a disconnect by what I see happening on your face and what's coming out of your mouth. Because you sound like you're saying, oh, my God, you guys got pregnant. But what's coming out of your mouth is usually like, are you guys moving a new place? Right.

So my mom starts like tearing up and she's like, oh my God. And in my head, I go, if they got her a better gift than me planning this birthday, I plan this, I paid for this. You know, and I go, did you get her a Peloton? Literally my reaction was, wait, did you get her a Peloton? Like, that's not, that's the first thing. If they outdid me on the gift. And then I was like, it hit me. And I went over and I started crying.

And it's so funny. Matt sent me that video just a couple weeks ago. And he goes, who else was here? And I said, just Raina. I think maybe Lindsay and Buck came later. I can't remember. And he goes, whose laugh is that? And it's you.

And I was like, that's your sister. You don't know her laugh? It was like, your laugh was in the background. He was like, whose laugh was that? It's Raina's cute little laugh. Raina's famous laugh. A lot of your brother. I will never forget.

Did you get her a pellet? No, we got her a grandchild. Your mom was crying. They did. You know, it's so funny because, like, you know that, like, they announced their, the first grandchild of the family. And my mom probably still came away that night. Like, Ashley is just still the best child I could ever. Remember she was all lit up and you were trying to help her with her balloon photo?

Yes. Oh, your family's so cute. I can't relate. I can't relate to being the family. favorite. You really are? Well, I was telling you, so you came over Friday and moved in and then Sparkle Eyes, my boyfriend again, if you're new here, that's his name. He FaceTimed, and I had already told you how much his family wants to meet you. When I went and spent time with him, his mom was like, so do you think Raina will come over next time? And she just loves your laugh. I think she watches

clips on Instagram. I don't think she's fully listening. I don't think that she should. But she was like, when we do the show in Boston, you think Raina would come over. And then you and I are talking to him on FaceTime and he was like, brings it up again. I'm like, this family. is dying to meet you. It's touching to be incorporated in your life that way, but like I'm family and that like the people in your life want to include me in things. It's really nice. I was just like, okay, guys, we get it. Like, brought up like three times. And then he kept talking about how good you looked. I'm like, okay, everybody relax. I was like, actually, he's just being polite. Also, so if you guys didn't listen last week, I got surgery and I got liposuction along my jaw and my neck.

And what can happen is very common is that it basically like, I don't want to say it severs the nerve but it compromises the nerve endings. So I have like paralysis on one side of my face. It's so cute. I hope you have it forever. I love the crooked mouth. I swear like I feel like guys are going to be into it. Ashley,

I have never gotten hit on more than when I had a band-aid on my chin. They think it's a dick-suck and injury? Probably. They're just like, she's so helpless. So when I first got the surgery done, he told me ahead of time. This is very common. Some people lose the ability to smile for like six weeks. And I was like, oh, that can't happen.

And within like a couple days of the surgery, I was like, oh my, this is amazing. I can still smile. Everything's amazing. Like, I didn't lose that. But now part of my face, like, I noticed it a couple days ago because I went to bite into a sandwich and part of my lip would not move out of the way. Like, I could, I had to move my own lip on the right hand side because it will not.

I'm like, why are you biting my lip? And I watched myself do it. And I was like, oh, I don't have like movement on that side of my face. There are guys out there that are like, that sounds so hot. It's like poor things. I know. It's giving poor things. I know.

She's so helplessness is sexy. Yes. It's like she's not. ever going to emasculate me. She's not going to make more money than me or be more successful. That's what my face is giving right now. Well, guys love my list, too. It sounds a little helpless. Well, there's something that's... It's a little, like, gross and concerning that guys accept it's childlike.

Like, let's be real. But, like, I think I mentioned this on the podcast before, when Kate had adult braces, when we were... She was maybe 24, maybe I was like 26, whatever. And we were living in Atlanta next door to each other and just, you know, party and drinking, dating all the time. And she had to get adult braces. for like six months. She never got hit on more. And I'm like, you guys are fucking gross. It's because she looks like a middle schooler. That's why they all like my lip too. It's because it's childlike. It's gross. I know. But the crooked mouth is cute. I actually am so flattered.

You think that's so cute. And you kept talking about it on Friday. And I was like, I truly cannot move part of my face. It will go away. Yes. Well, maybe not. Maybe it will go away. It's so funny, Raina, because you're going to like meet some guy and he's going to say this this is his favorite thing about you. And then you're going to have to go back to Dr. Barrett and be like, make sure that I never lose this. I've thought about this and I've thought about like going on dates and like I am not my authentic self because my list is way harder than normal and I have paralysis on the side of my face. And so I thought about like condates of people if they like it. I have to be like, I have to Botox the other side of my face. So you always have this. It's so funny.

Well, yeah, you just look great. The like CO2 laser. Your skin looks great. The hair, the whole thing. But my boyfriend said it's you on the FaceTime and then the next day he reiterated. I was like, all right. We get it. First time is fine. Second time when I'm not. around. I don't care. I actually loved it. It got a little far. My dad, when we were like kids, he got Bell's palsy. Yeah, I looked like I had Bell's palsy. I was out of my face. But like, we were just at dinner.

My mom was like, Lee? But it's like, you're just like, you look like that emoji with the like crooked, you're just like this. And it was hard not to laugh. It's funny. I've been watching myself talking, I'm like, she has no control on the right side of her face. This is really the CO2 laser has been great I will never put my face in the sun again

I've worn makeup in three weeks It feels great, yeah Thank you. Well, thank you to you and Sparkle-Ized and his family And everybody says it looks great Okay, well that is kind of like a teaser We are going to announce the tour next week Yes, on the first we're going to announce it It will not be an April Fool's joke

It's the real tour, you guys know, we're coming to Boston But that's all you know right now Yes I'm sure you can guess we have some new cities we've never been to Well, at least one Two I miss touring I know. I miss it so deeply. I know. I feel like I'm just like a regular person now. I'm just like every weekend. People are like, what are you up to? And I'm like,

I'm just here. That's why I move just to have something to be excited. Just to have a big life event. I was like, oh, we're not touring. I may as well move. Yeah, you got to do something to like get the hit. I just, I'm so bored. I miss being on tour. I miss being with everybody. I know you do too. So next week, all the cities through 2024 and then we have some really fun stuff per 25 planned as well. So that'll be next week. And then we have another big announcement. re-released next week. So if you guys are new here, we have a premium sex toy company Vibes only, Bluetooth-connected toys, and our number one best-selling toys sold out in a day. The Richard Cockring will be back. Yes, it's coming back. So listen, next week for all the deeds.

And I cannot wait for more of you to get this in your hands and around these dicks, because you deserve it. And I hate that they sold out so quickly. And there's people that have been Jones in for the Richard. So you can get this dick very soon. Also, if you sign up for the newsletter, Those people will have access to it first. We have a wait list. Yeah. So if you sign up for that, you'll get an email before all these other people. Our newsletter is great.

I just said to you the other day. In the middle of a meeting, I was like, gosh, this is gorgeous. I mean, I have a hand in it, but like this is someone's job on our team to do this. And like, we've had such a wonderful experience. Like, this is not me and Ray and just like throwing this together every week. Like, but we come up with the topics and there was a really good Lube one. I loved it. You love the Lube one last week was just like tips to introduce Lube into the bedroom.

if your partner is hesitant and we just put out a great newsletter and you do get updated first when we were dropping things, re-releasing things. Yeah, we have a couple thousand people on that wait list for the Richards. So sign up. Yeah. Okay. So I'll talk about the move really quick. Yeah.

I did move from West Hollywood to Santa Monica. And the house that I lived in was like the most gorgeous home I've ever seen. Like every detail, all of the furnishings and the lighting, the countertops, everything. The bathroom was the most beautiful bathroom I've ever seen in my life. Like five-star hotels include. Better than hotels. It's unreal. I said, Ashley, anywhere you go is going to be the most precipitous drop.

But I moved into a house that I love more just because it's over on the west side where I want to be and it's bigger and I have more outdoor space. But it's like it's just a little older. It's a different vibe, which I feel like is really a metaphor for the whole move from West Hollywood to Santa Monica in the first place. I was thinking about this last night. Like I went to my old house to do some things. And I was like driving through the Beverly Hills Flats. And I lived very close to them. That was where I would walk Azul in the mornings and stuff.

And it's arguably the most beautiful neighborhood. in L.A. The flats of Beverly Hills are next level. Like they're just so pristine, so gorgeous. The homes, the trees, the streets, everything is spotless and beautiful and perfection. And so was my neighborhood. So was my West Hollywood neighborhood. I think it was just so beautiful. And I'm over in West Santa Monica, it just feels like more down to earth, more laid back. Like when we moved here, I was like, why would Rain and not want to live in like the most beautiful neighborhood, like, close to Beverly Hills? And like, you lived over in Venice. I'm like, I just doesn't feel like sophisticated. but in reality it's like kind of pretentious like over obviously in Beverly Hills and you move

over to the west side and it's like such a different vibe like even my coffee shop felt different in the morning and I just love the way it feels like coming from Beverly Hills essentially like West Hollywood cusp of Beverly Hills like I'd be walking around and people would be like valetting cars at a house party you know you'd have a valet set up every fancy car it's just like Maseratis and Lamborghinis and Ferraris and then where I live now people are having family unions in the park across the street. You know, like, it is just different vibes, like really down to earth. And I just like it.

Like, it just is chill and different. I think there is such a stark difference between the neighborhoods. Yeah. I mean, listen, you also live there because you wanted to live close to your other best friend. Comedy clubs. Yeah. Comedy clubs. And also, if you're a specific area, it's highly walkable.

But, I mean, I love where I live so much. I'm a four-minute drive to the beach. I live right behind Abikinney. And I walk around and I see people I know, like, almost every day. I never walk down literally at Kinney and don't like run into people that I know. It feels more like community. It's such community. Also it's like I don't need to be around these like Beverly Hills houses. I don't live there. I'm a friends of people that live there. It's true. It's not my community of people. Like I live in a beautiful neighborhood. There's a lot of palm trees. There's a lot of greenery and nature all around my house like the jungle. And I just, I love it. I love it. I know. Like I would walk around these Beverly Hills houses and when I first moved over there, be like, I can't believe I get to live here. This is so gorgeous. And then it just you've seen it and it gets boring. And it's. You've seen it. And it. And it gets boring. boring. And I take Azulah this park across the street now and he's playing with dogs and I'm meeting people and they're young and they're just, again, I keep just using the word down to earth. It just is a totally different vibe in like the best way. And my lifestyle just, it feels different in a good way. It was just like really ready for the move. I'm just, I'm so happy to live near each other again. Oh my God. This has been really like not like horrible and shitty, but like you and I maybe see each, we see each other on recording days. We don't work together that often anymore. Like when we lived in New York, I was an eight minute walk to your apartment. And, and. And, you know, we live in New York, I was an eight minute walk to your apartment. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. and our studio.

And so, like, I went over there just, I was there, like, sometimes, like, four days out of the five per week. Two, three times a day if we needed to be. Yeah. And if we, like, needed to work with me for an hour, I was like, well, I'll have to come do it with you, you know? And so, like, I haven't been able to do that with you for over a year. And it's just, like, such a hassle, like, getting to both places.

And so to have you, I don't know from your place for there night. And it was just, like, such a pleasure. No. I picked rain up for the beach on Saturday. Picked her up. She brings me bagels the next morning. She picked up today to come here. Like I told my mom was on the phone with my mom last night.

And I was like, Rain is so close. She brought me bagels this morning. My mom goes, what? I was like, and I picked her up for the beach yesterday. She was like, oh, my God. She was like so excited. We're going to have a different friendship. I just, I feel like you got this boyfriend this year and you moved away from me.

Like, are we even friends? I just laughed. I lived away from me before I got the boyfriend. We had chosen to be across down from each other before he came along. But it's a real change for us because we just have been so far away from each other. And like, I like more spontaneous hang. is that this morning I like picked you up it was just it was good yeah so I'll moved in azole's really happy I just couldn't be happier so yeah I'm a west side girl now finally welcome to the

neighborhood thanks I'm very excited thanks so much I'm sorry tessa's over by us too tessa had a day on Friday we fucking ran her ass I was like is she like these fucking bitches there was no like girls got to eat vibes only work on Friday it was Ashley's moving rain has a refrigerator getting delivered azole has to go to to Raina's, Raina's dog sitting. She was all over the place. Tessa, how close are you to the two of us? Like, what's your drive like? Oh, yeah, how long did you take to my house? I'm eight minutes to each of us. We are so lucky. I'm going to make you rent so many more packages. I didn't realize that. Tessa, that's amazing. I keep trying to hook Tessa up with people. Like,

she had to go meet the guy to install my Wi-Fi. And I was like, his name is Serge, is he hot? And then today I was like, what do you think about that moving guy? Like, she texted me as the moving guy was good looking. I was like, I'll be there. He was a vibe. He was cute. Yeah. I usually don't get good-looking movers. Like, I've never really. had the moving fantasy, which we knew guys, a guy I dated in New York and then even Dylan, Paladino, like, we knew hot movers. I just never had them. I had four huge Russian guys that were so sexy, but you know, I was just thinking, if your brother, your brother owns a moving company. Yeah, so let's plug it down. Matt is the managing partner for Black Tie moving Delaware. So, and he does state to state. So if you guys are going to Delaware or from Delaware or even in that

area, I mean, I think mostly something needs to be in Delaware, but Black Tie and Black Tie, wherever they're located. They are not out here, so I didn't use them. But, like, I'm not going to talk about my moving company because my brother is part of a moving company. And so can't hype it enough. But, yeah, anyway. If Matt showed up at my house, the amount of videos of photos I'd be taken. This big dude, moved out of my stuff. He's so nice. He's so competent. He's so smart. I mean, he's just, like, such a manly, competent man. Like, when we looked at houses in Delaware for you to buy, and he was just like, I know this material. I know this, the construction type of stuff. Like, he's just the way I would be hitting on Matt, he has a lot of knowledge.

He's not doing too many moves anymore because he's in charge. But he really, like, I don't know, he really helps those guys out. Like, he has some guys that work for him that just maybe have had a rough or go at it. You know, he really just helps these guys kind of a lot in life. And he's such a good boss. And today I text him. I was like, I finally got a mover that's like kind of good looking. And he was like, he's a good looking as my guy.

He sends me a picture of his guy, tatted neck down, just, you know, sexy dude. And Matt sent you thirst traps about their members. Big giant Russian dudes is a vibe. Oh, sexy. My mounting guy is this big Russian dude, Igor, and he came and did some of my mounting, my mounting needs. But yeah, it's just funny when you move. You're just surrounded by all these just, like, handy dudes.

You are. Sparkleyes, if you're listening, you are handy too, but you're not here. Yeah. And why do I have having a boyfriend if you can't help me move to boxes? If you're not unpacking boxes or carrying my luggage, I don't need you. Also, for sex and companion. I sent a photo of all these boxes and was like, what is even the point of this? He'll be there for the house warming.

That's important. Oh, he will be. Oh, yay. In terms of having people help you with moving so many sexy task grabers, but my smartest, most competent one is the least attractive. Can't have it all. And he is going to do a lot of stuff for the studio also. And actually, like, so you guys been watching us on Spotify week to week,

and they've been so wonderful with us. But hopefully, not the episode on the first next week, but the following one, we will hopefully be in our brand-new studio. So we're almost there. And Tasha's been such a huge help. And I just can't wait to get it set up. I can't wait. Let's take a quick break.

And then you had a question to ask me. I'm going to tell you guys about quince. We love quince so much. Rain and I were just on their site shopping, ordering some new stuff for spring. And you can upgrade your wardrobe with luxury essentials at unbeatable prices. Quince is here to transform the way you shop with a range of high quality items priced within reach. So we love quince because they really do sell items like 100% mungle in cashmer sweaters, washable silk tops, timeless 14-carat gold jewelry.

all their prices are 50 to 80% less than similar brands, but there is no catch here. They only work with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices in premium, eco-friendly fabrics and finishes. I was thinking about quince the other day because I was listening to a quince ad on Nick Viles' podcast. And I was just like, they are really doing it. Like, this isn't this fast fashion, of course. Right. They're just, I feel like they're not trying to mark stuff up too much.

Like, I'm not in their meetings, but I don't know what their exact goals are, but they really just want to provide quality clothing at reasonable prices and have safe ethical practices. And I just admire that so, so much. If nothing else, like, that's a reason to shop quince. But, of course, we love their clothing as well. So I'm on their site now. I've talked about the washable silk before. You guys have to get these washable silk slip dresses for spring and summer.

There is, like, a longer one and a shorter one, just wearing them with sneakers. You can dress them up with heels. I'm obsessed. And you don't get them dry cleaned. The cashmere is great, but we are getting into, like, warmer weather. So get into this washable silk. There's just this, like, nice tensile utility shirt that's going to look really great. Their workout gear is incredible.

I've been hearing so much. I don't have any yet. And I'm like, that's what I just ordered was some of their workout stuff. I'm really interested. They have men's, of course, baby and kids. They have travel. And you can just get on there and see what you want. Jewelry, of course, like we mentioned, nice jackets of all types of different weights for different climates. And you can trust what you're wearing. So again, we've said it before. If you feel like you want to just upgrade your wardrobe, look a little more like quiet luxury, sophisticated, put together. This is the place to go. Trust me on this. They have so much issues from you guys are going to love it. And we have. a deal for you. You can indulge an affordable luxury. Go to quince.com slash gge for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's QINCE.com slash GGE to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash GGE. Okay. So the team at Hunger Group just sent us a new box. It is full of yummy stuff. I just got new refrigerator. So I got to like stock it with new fun things. So basically you go to their website. I took a short quiz and then they send me the box and I'll tell you what's in the box. But it's full of just like delicious fun things. And many Hungry customers save money on groceries versus the store. Right now, Hunger Root is offering you

40% off your first delivery and free veggies for life. Just go to Hungryorut.com slash GGE.E. It really is like a partner in healthy living. It's just an easy way to get fresh, high quality groceries delivered to your door. So you go to their website, you take this quiz. They get so granular with like what you want to eat and how you want to eat it. So if you like high protein and you want lean protein and like what type of kitchen appliances do you have at the house to cook those things. They give you recommendations to put those groceries to good use. They're just like, you know, you have all these things in your fridge. This would be a good thing to make with it. And they'll recommend groceries based on personal taste. Orders are fully customizable and their suggestions. You can take them or you can choose anything you want. But I really just love what they have to offer. I get a lot of snacks. I eat breakfast every morning. So they sent like grapes, berries. I have yogurt. Hummus. Oatmilk. It's just like fresh and easy. And just like you can make like a bunch of different. meals out of this that just are great. Yeah, I've made some incredible meals, but they really

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That is HungryRoot.com slash Gigi. Don't forget to use our link so they know that we sent you and everything is at girls got to eat.com as well. Tessa manages all of the partners and all the codes. Okay. I just have like a dating question for you because this came up. We might have talked about this years ago. I don't actually know.

So this guy came across my desk, as you said. I was just scrolling on Instagram. This guy came up. I was like, he's so hot and funny. He just scrolled on Instagram. I love it. He just got served to me, and I thought this clip was, like, very funny. And I was showing him to Ali Colbert, and I was like, how do I, like, slide in there and talk to him?

And I was talking to her, like, about shared interest. And I was like, well, I'll just see who he follows. So I go to his follower list. So this is somebody who's pretty active on Instagram. It has, like, a decent follower list. Like, probably follows, like, a thousand people. So he's not somebody that's just, like, not on a lot follows 40 people. We didn't share one single follow.

Wild. And so my question to you. Hold on. Why was he served to you? Was he a comedian or a podcaster? He does a content creator. Comedy commentary. And not one common follow?

Not one common follow. That's insane. And so I... If you're in the same world, sort of. He's not a comedian, but it was just like comedic commentary on something. And so I was like scrolling through and I also follow almost 900 people. So I have a very substantial following list. So my question to you is if you go to somebody's follows and you both have like a substantial amount of things you follow and you are not sharing one single.

follow. Could you date that person? Well, I could introduce them to a lot, but I need to know if they're following just bikini models, Instagram thoughts, that type of thing. So that is where it's less about the mutual interest and more about what are you following that I'm not following. I immediately go to like the verified accounts and that's just easier for me to pick out obviously. But like I think a lot of guys will follow sports, which I just don't. Yeah. You know, I mean, other than like the Steelers and barstool. I'm not following a lot of sports accounts. If you're not following any comedy that I follow, I find that odd because you and I follow so many comedians and isn't just like Instagram just about like laughing a lot? Yeah. I mean, listen, I felt like I got to cut back because my whole feed is

clips and stuff. And I'm just like, okay, I love watching and supporting my friends, of course, and seeing what's going on in the comedy world. But there's a point where I'm like, oh my God. And then there's a part of me that's like, everybody got a special with me. You know, like, You just start to get like warped about what you're seeing in your feet and what's being served to you. But, you know, that's all I'll have a special one day. I'm not here really trying. So it's not that kind of thing. But there's a point where you're like, okay, it's just a lot.

It's like overload. But I just wouldn't want to know who he's following. Is he following news? Like you said sports, music. Is he following musical artists? Like, is he following like design accounts? My boyfriend follows like design stuff. Well, I follow a lot of design stuff.

Right. Car stuff. Right. Right. Like, I feel like people have very, like, men have like, buckets that I'm never going to be in. Like, I'm never going to fall out of sports. cars. Food? Is he doing any food? No. What is he following? Because like I think it's totally fine if somebody like I follow a lot of like art and architecture like home interiors type of stuff.

A couple of fashion brands. But like my main follows are probably like food, art and comedy. Yeah. And if we're not all, I don't care if you follow like us weekly. But like what are we doing? Well, I also wonder what he's using Instagram for. Like here's the thing. If you were following 300 people and they're all just your friends. Like some people still want to use Instagram as. as an old school Facebook social network. But 900, you don't have 900 friends. That's why I'm saying, like, the number matters. Yeah.

And who are they following? And I'm immediately scrolling through the verified accounts and seeing how many like butthole models they follow. I got to see this. So Allie and I were like going through it and can you date somebody you don't follow anything that they follow? No. And here's why I date him.

He is gay. Oh. Well, there's that. I mean, it's still not, it doesn't make any sense. you wouldn't follow the same food or comedy accounts that I do. What was that whole conversation? Allie and I were unpacking the whole thing. And then I was like, oh, he's gay.

I did not know what I thought you were going to say. I was just like, what was she was. I literally thought you were going to say, like, he's MAGA or that's probably the first thing I'm looking for. Before the, like, booty models is, are you following like politicians that I don't believe in their beliefs? 100%. That's the first thing I'm following. Like, evangelical Christian church. Yeah.

A bunch of pro-life accounts. Yeah, are you following that shit? Are you following Fox News? Like, are you following people that I just don't support their beliefs? That's the first thing. If we don't know similar hobbies, I guess, like you said, your boyfriend's into cars. I don't care. You'd be into cars.

It's harmless. Yes. It's a decent hobby. It's a huge deal breaker. I guess it's harmless. My whole family, all car guys. Okay. But I think he always followed a few, like, comedians and stuff.

Like, yeah, I don't know if we'd vibe. Again, if you don't, you only have a few hundred followers. They're all your friends. I'm not hating on that. But if you're following people in the zeitgeist and we have no overlap, I am wondering. But it's not a deal breaker for me unless they're just like, you set a bunch of butthole models. I don't know how it happened. Like, I don't know how it happens that you have no crossover with somebody.

Yeah. Food or comedy? Yeah. So anyways, I was just curious if you could date somebody you don't follow any of the same stuff. All right. Well, guys, let us know in the comments. Yeah. Okay.

I have something I want to discuss. So we were on the beach Saturday with a bunch of girlfriends. It was really fun. And we were talking this one friend of ours about this guy she's been recently hooking up with. Did you drop his name? No. She said we could. What? No. God no. Because he's kind of a person in the world, whatever, that elder millennials would know. Yeah. If you're 25, don't worry about it. You don't know who it is. I asked somebody 35 yesterday. Yeah. It's like 40. 42 is probably the sweet spot. Maybe 40 to 45. Anyway, he was like on a TV show. It's not important. Listen, we're not going to tell you guys who it is. But she said she was blowing him and he came. So she's telling this story. She is funny, but she still surprises me. She goes, I'm going to tell the story with like a full act out because I've been telling it in restaurants and I can't do the full thing. And I was thinking like, you hang out with us. You can't talk about sex and restaurants.

Like I was like, where is this going? Did not know what she meant. She did his cum sound. It was a blood-curdling scream. And she did that on the beach. And there was probably 20 people there. A bunch of people we didn't know. She's screaming on the beach. She did a full act out. I was like, oh my God. You know, you're like looking around. You're like, oh, she's going for it. She did full send, mimic this guy's come screams. It was shocking. He's like hollering and loud while he's coming. Our friend's boyfriend was a doctor.

And we were like, does it sound like he's okay? Right. Like she thought something was wrong. She goes, oh my God. Like, I was like, did someone break in? You know, like, what's happening? And then she said, like, if a guy is coming that hard and his dick is in my mouth, I'm like, I'm about to get waterboarded.

Like, there's a tidal wave coming. You know, like, there's a tsunami that's about to happen. I'm covering my eyes and plugging my nose. and she said like barely anything came out. A dust bunny is what our friends were. We blew a little dust out. Which none of this is judgment. You should be able to come however you want.

You're not going to come shame. I can't be out of your coming. I'm going to come to shame somebody since you don't know. Because he did you dirty. Yeah. You could shame anybody for anything once they fuck you over. I think he really did. He was an Austin.

Yeah. It'll come up later today, guys, with our guest. But yes, he was an Austin, which you guys know Raina loves an Austin. But yeah, like, however you come, you should be able to let loose. You know, like, there's moments where I wake up, especially if I've been drinking and the next morning, I'm like, what was she doing last night? You know what I mean? And did the neighbors here. Yeah.

But, yeah, like she said he was like hollering and then it just didn't really coincide with the melt again. Friends boyfriends that he blew out of dust bunny. Can you imagine? And then you're like, psh. It's just like a little squirt. There's so many would you rather. Okay. Would you rather?

Would you rather a teeny little baby bit of cum? Because you're swallowing it. It's going your mouth. Exactly. Yeah. But you judge them a little bit if it's just like, or like a ton of cum. I always prefer a ton of cum. I just think it's a sign of like respect.

In some cultures, it's a sign of respect. Not at all what I was going to do. It's a chef's kiss. No, I think it's like, you know, it means you got a, what's the word? Like, vitality, youthfulness. It's youthful. It's like I want a lot of cum. Like, I want a lot of cum.

super wet. Yeah. So I like, as much as I'm like you know, don't love sitting on the toilet waiting for it to plop out, like I still think it's nice. I want tons of it. I know you love tons to come. I dated this guy. Sometimes it doesn't have to do with vitality. Sometimes

I mean, I guess there's all kinds of things going on with the body, but I did that one guy in my 20s and he just would like come like a drip. Every time I go to the bathroom afterward, nothing would come out. I would be like, be honest are you coming? Can't relate. I can't relate. I love like when a ton of it comes out of you, you're like, good for me. And then you're like, then you get to kind of tell him. You're like,

hey, wow. That was a lot. Right. They're all proud of themselves. It's just, it's like, it goes back to what I want to be happening with my body. I know those two aren't correlated and I'm not out here squirting, but like I've had some times where I've just been like really stressed out and a lot going on and I feel like I'm not getting as lubricated and I don't like it. You know, I feel like my body's not working like I want it to, you know? And so I just think, again, and this as you age, less cum, less lubrication, of course. But, like, I'm just, like, the wet or the better for everybody. I agree.

Okay. Would you rather? Okay. Weird, crazy cum sounds. But they're encouraging, at least. We're dead silent comer. Always weird, crazy, loud. Like, well, hold on. There's a line.

I know, because, like, my Uston, it was, like, so pro-l. He's a long-comer, too. It felt performative. Yeah. It felt, like, weird. It takes you out of it. I'm always going to come before the guy. I mean, obviously, they're not going to come.

come and then I'm going to come. Like, it felt like, like, it felt like weirdly performative. I'm like, oh, we're still going. He,

like, took a breath in between to, like, keep going. I can't. It was so weird and really took me out of it. I've actually only once had, like, a really weird come sound.

And it was like that guy. Yeah. Okay. So I guess I actually don't need crazy come sounds. I just like something going on. Like, I don't like dead silent. I like to hear you're going to come.

Mm-hmm. But I don't really think I've had too many experiences with guys where it's like, like it's just like or like running or like when I'm listening to our erotic audio in the vibes only app making notes in the scripts like there's a fine line

and there's been times where I have to tell our editor like cut off four seconds of his coming like he just went for it so I guess I don't want dead silence ever you know I think it's crazy to come and not say anything but I don't really need

a bunch of noises I'm more on the I just want you to tell me. Like, I like words more than noises. Yeah, like, I'm just going to come. I mean, I don't want to stifle somebody if you're having a good time. Like, let it rip. That's what I'm saying. I'm not, I don't want, I mean, but there's a part of what she gives me the heck, you know, like, where I'm just like, I can't have type two fun with this. Yeah. Like, I'm fine. It's sort of in the moment, but I can't, like, masturbate to you because this gives me the heck. What about when this is like the come down, literally, it's just so like, uh, like they're

doing, it's like, it's so elongated. After they come, they're still insideio. They just like, why is there still sounds coming out of your body? Yeah, like it's just like, I think that's what you dealt with, just really prolonged to sounds. So crazy. I like, thank God we only had sex ones because that was so, I couldn't have done that again. I acknowledged it the first time. I was like, so that was a lot. And he was like, I just really liked it.

It felt really good. She acknowledged it with him, right? And she was like, are you okay? And he was like, it just feels really good to me. Yeah, he feels really good. And again, like, this is not shaming because I think, I mean, you think of old sex in the city, Samantha Jones. She was like screaming at the top of her lungs, you know, when she was coming and I grew up on that, you know. I mean, when I'm about to have an orgasm, I don't know me.

Who is she? Exactly. So maybe they're having out-of-body experiences as well. Also, Rainy used to tell that story about the longcomer at our shows. And then we would have women act out their partners come sounds. It was one of the most fun thing we did at our shows is come to the shows because we'll be having all new, fun, hilarious segments in the fall tour. But it was so funny. We would just go on the audience with mics and be like, can you make your boyfriends come sound?

And people would go for it. It was so fucking funny. We did it in Pittsburgh and my mom was sitting between my dad and my stepdad. I was like, you want to try? That's so funny. She does both of them and the audience has to guess. Which one's your dad and which one's Chip? That is, I'm dead.

Listen, we might be coming back to Pittsburgh. Yeah, we might be. Maybe she'll play along next time. Does Bill and Chips come. My dad's got a new girlfriend now. The audience has to guess. My dad's got a new girlfriend. So I'm like, I'll be like, mom, if you don't do it, she's going to do it.

That's the mom I like better. that's my new mom all right well let us know in the comments guys how you feel about long coming yeah if you had to choose like dead silent or crazy loud long like I guess I'd still I just I need something so a dead silent person I feel like

one of these things is more malleable though a dead silent person you could still kind of get them to start saying I'm gonna come although listen people that just don't emote during sex that much like I have not had an easy time getting them to so like I don't know both of those things are hard to deal Because, like, everybody I've slept with that, like, doesn't really talk a lot during sex. It's hard to, like, request it on the menu and get them to be a totally different person.

People can change, I will say. Like, people can definitely, like, I don't know. If they're 45, probably not. But, you know, I do think people can do more what you want. But not always. So. But to your point, if you have, like, someone that's really doesn't dirty talk, like, more dead silent, I know in my experience, like, it can get better. It's not like a real.

You know a willing participant. Yeah, exactly. Well, I loved our conversation. Oh, two updates. Okay. Number one, a ton of you DME. Wawa does do wraps now. I've been getting an avalanche of DMs. Yes, we talked about my Wawa and Royal Farms Love Triangle a couple weeks ago, and I got a bunch of DMs too, that Wawa just they do offer wraps. Which I feel like I should have known that. But you know what? Listen, we had a little bit of a conflict. Yeah, I didn't know. We were on a break. Yeah, we were on. I went out here. So I didn't know about the wraps. We also moved out here. We're just not. Exactly. Exactly. The second update is that I said I bought a hat that said caviar daddy. And it actually was caviar cowboy. But our editor.

Anna said she really liked caviar daddy, and so I made her a hat and sent it to her. Oh, you did? So if you guys were dying for caviar daddy hats, let us know, and I'll make them. I'll put them on our website. They're cute. I like caviar daddy and caviar cowboy, both of them. Anna really liked caviar daddy, and she was like, the lesbians will love it. So I was like, fine.

So I made her a hat that's a caviar daddy and sent it to her. Yeah. We are definitely entering our cowboy era, like, as a collective because of Beyonce. I ordered cowboy boots last night. I ordered a denim corset. I would like to say what I have done for bald men and cowboys. culture. Yeah. I have loved men in cowboy hats. Okay, let me ask you a question. I swear I got we can move on. I really kind of hate the statement. I liked X thing before it was cool.

It wasn't cool then. I don't know what to tell you. But I did, I like bald men way before it was cool. I have loved cowboys since way before it was cool. Okay. A man in a cowboy hat? I know. Well, and you've been inspired by Beyonce and other celebrities, but you were even wearing a lot more like cowgirl type stuff before Texas Holden came out. Oh my God. Way before that. that. The guy that I needed in Charleston always had a cowboy hat on and Dallas Business Carpire guy. Cowboy hat. I didn't like it in L.A. though. What about the Connecticut Cowboy? I can not always be back out on tour. Yeah, girl, I'm telling you. Let's have more stops. Okay. All right, now we can get to the episode. Okay. Well, not yet. I'm going to talk about

article. Now we're going to take some of our partners and then we are going to get to the episode. Anna, keep that. Okay. Article. So I just moved, which meant I was just seen my article pieces go from one home to the next. And I just love article so much. And this is just such a go-to. So even last night, I was just needing to buy some bar stools. And, like, it's just sometimes hard to think of where to get furniture, you know? Like, I think we can name, like, two or three furniture stores. But I just want to always hype article.

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I'm just trying to think of a few things I've gotten recently. I have outdoor furniture from article. I've got this filing cabinet that I love. I have this amazing, like, mirror decor piece that's going to go above the fireplace in my bedroom. I'm so excited to hang it. You have this beautiful white bouclea couch. I just got it. I love it.

They've been a partner forever. We love them so much. And again, if you feel like you don't have a lot of home decor style, you really can just go to their website where they'll show you how to style it, but also they have an Instagram feed where they show how other people have styled the article pieces in their homes. The headboards are incredible. Great place to get stuff for your bedroom, all the way to the living room, all the way to outdoor, of course. And we're just obsessed. We can't recommend it enough. So if you're looking for anything, check article first and great little accessories, like just the like Ottoman poof I have that's

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I got Sparkleized of Two-Case for Valentine's Day. We bought one for Tessa for Christmas. It's just, it's great gift. Luggage is a great gift. And one thing, there's the weekender and the mini. weekender. I get this question all the time. Does the weekender, which is big. It's huge. It's big, but it's not too big, and I carry it as my carry on, and it does fit under the seat. If you have it packed full, it won't, but it does fit under the seat, at least Delta and American, and you can

flatten it a little bit. It's never really been an issue. It also fits in the overhead bin. But people ask me that a lot. I think people really want to know. So, yeah, just as long as it's not like stuff to the brim. Yeah. And it's fantastic. There's a separate compartment for your shoes at the bottom. I hate one like my hairbrush touches my shoes. I know. It's disgusting. So, listen, guys, check it off by it for yourself or for somebody else. It's a great gift.

Right now, BASE is offering our listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting base travel.com slash GGE. That's B-E-I-S travel.com slash G-G. Okay. All right, guys, we are so excited to welcome our guest today and the topics she brings with her. She is the host of the wildly popular podcast, Two Hot Takes, where she and a team of co-host, Scavenven. your Reddit, listener write-ins, and the rest of the internet to give their hot takes on the

juiciest dating relationship and real live, am I the asshole situations? Please welcome to the show, Morgan Absher. Hello. Hi. We're so excited. I'm so excited to be here. So we recorded with you and we had so much fun and we put it out to our audience and Amity the Asshole situations.

We're going to talk through them with you. We are really excited about this. I think about your topics all the time. I know, we do. After we did your episode, I fully debriefed my boyfriend on everyone. I went through every one. I went through all four that we did on the episode with you. And then other ones I'd listened to before, some from Hannah Burner's episode.

Like, there's such a good conversation piece. And I also recommend this for dates if you feel like you're or in your current relationship, whatever you're working with. If you're ever struggling for something to talk about, this is such a good conversation piece. You really get to know who you're with, who your friends are based on their responses to these stories. That's how I started it.

I was so annoying. I would send everyone these Reddit posts I would find. I'm like, someone just talk about these with me. Because like, I need to know what you're thinking. This is so crazy. This can't be real. Who would stay with someone like this? And so it just like brought me and all my people closer together.

And now that's what it does for people that listen. You're so right about dating also, actually, because this is sort of like a situational job interview. We're like, instead of going on a date and saying like, what do you like to do for fun? What do you do for work? You can say, like, here's this situation. Let's unpack it together.

And you can almost learn more about a person from like how they relate to these situations and like basic get to know you questions. And even just, I don't know, like we were on the beach with all of our girlfriends Saturday. And we had plenty to talk about. But I feel like if we had a lull, I'd be like you guys, hear me out. I'm on Reddit and I have the situation. Let's talk about it. And I feel like you could go for hours. Easily.

Easily. Well, especially like, oh my God, the ones that have been on there lately, I don't know if it's that time of year. If there's a full moon, people are coming out of the wood. Curies and retrograde. Something's up. You should bring out an astrologist and be like, tell me what the moon was doing at this time. This is crazy. I should.

Is there like a theme? Like, what do you see the most of? Because I'm sure you like pull your audience, ask people to send questions. Is there like one overarching, like, I see family dynamics being this thing all the time? Or like, what comes in and is like such a big theme for you? Mother-in-law drama. I feel like, or in-laws in general, because like that's such a hard dynamic to like adapt to is like meshing, blending families.

So in-laws, weddings always create a stir. But those are the big ones. Yeah, we noticed that. Because you, well, we'll do them today, but we asked our audience and we know you like mostly turn to Reddit, but like those were the two prevalent themes or family. Yeah. Engagements. Yeah.

Engagements too. But so, okay, you were really into this, am I the asshole world before you started the podcast? Yeah, it was like my little depression hobby. Like, because I wasn't working. I was just getting done with grad school and then like COVID hit. So I had nothing to do. So I was just on Reddit, just chilling. And so it was like, just like my little brain break just kept me sane.

And then I was like, okay, well, I can't be the only one that likes this. Let's start a podcast. Amazing. And it has blown up. It's had a moment. Yeah. So are you even using your degree? I know.

Because you're an occupational therapist, right? Yeah. Technically. Yeah. I literally went and got a doctorate in it too. Yeah. And you're doing this podcast about people on Reddit. I love that for you.

I don't know. It feels really weird. Wait, did you guys say Dr. Morgan Hapstern? No. Are you a doctor? Well, technically. She said she had a doctorate. Yeah, technically. I'm so sorry, you guys, please welcome to the show, Dr. Morgan actor. Back it up. Back it up. Yeah. Thank you for being gracious about that. No. People have been like, I'm excuse me. Oh, I would never. I would. I would never stop. No. I would stop people down in their tracks. So sorry, I'm a doctor. but I feel like unless you're the doctor that like you are getting like called to a medical emergency on a plane like I don't feel like you can be like I'm a doctor no you can't you sound like a pretentious dick you have to let people say it for you like Dr. Jill Biden is not out here. Look how humble I look now gosh. Meanwhile she was sitting there the whole time like it's doctor. Talk about it. Drop O.T. Am I the asshole because I make people call me doctor? I could see that in my future yeah but I did O.T and the podcast for about a year. I was actually working. I was actually working. I'm talking about a doctor. I was actually working. in downtown here at a hospital, but podcast got too busy, and I had a choice, and I went podcast. I love this story. It's crazy. It's actually crazy when you think about it. What is your degree in, Ashley? I mean, marketing, I guess. Is it mine too? No, I know it is, but it's just like,

what am I even, that was so long ago. I'm just like laughing because I just never used my degree ever. Yeah. College was important for me. What else was I going to do? No, I needed to go somewhere and grow up. Yeah. I excelled, but it's also changed since marketing in the early 2000s. There was no even social media, so it wasn't like, you know. We were like about billboards back. Yeah. Outdoor. Like true ad agencies.

Like what's the movie with the original one with Mel Gibson? What Women Want? What Women Want. Yeah. And of course, how to lose a guy in 10 days. Like, all I cared about was living that life. Yeah. I was like, I want to wear a pencil skirt and go work at a magazine.

I moved to New York and they're like, you can wear the pencil skirt. You're going to make $35,000 a year, man. You're going to work in a restaurant. It hurts. Okay. And you're engaged. Yes. And can we just hear a little background on your fiancé?

say your relationship so we met on hinge six years ago almost now okay he was from minnesota i was from minnesota but like both out in l.a now but that's what pulled me and i'm like minnesota like he'll be down to earth it'll be good totally swiped and then i just like didn't take the app seriously so i started ignoring him and then he kind of pulled like the minnesota guilt trip he's like well you know i saw you're from minnesota i'm from minnesota i just moved here i'm looking for new you know friends and I was like, oh, fine. But I ended up, like, canceling my first date with him, like, multiple times. And then I was like, oh, sorry, I'm going back to Minnesota, you know, whatever.

And he's like, oh, I'll be there too. So our first date was in Minnesota at, like, my favorite college bar, Cowboy Jacks. But I thought he really just wanted to be friends. So we kept hanging out a couple of times. And he, like, put his hand on my leg at a movie. And I was like, oh, okay, not friends. Okay, but literally we should unpack that. That's how you know.

Yeah. A hand on the leg is crossing over. I was like, oh, fuck. Okay, this, he means business now. You just had your friends. I just thought we were friends. You went on the first date and you guys left and you'd be like drinking a little bit, no kiss, no attempt to anything. Minnesota people.

Just like a nice to meet you. Yeah. We love, we're obsessed. We love. Nice to meet you. But he left the first date because he actually had like a friend in town. So he left the first date and like his friend met back up with him and he's like, get the wedding invites ready. Like after the first date.

Yeah. Oh my God. He knew. He knew he slow-plated a little. Yeah. I think I love the strategy. Yeah. So we ended up like kind of loosely dating for like three months.

He asked me to be his girlfriend. I said no. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready. I just like didn't know what I wanted. I'd been single. I was having fun. Yeah, for sure.

I had like a friends with benefits that I still was kind of into. And so I had both of them kind of like, I was mostly seeing my fiancee Justin and then would see the friends with benefits occasionally. And then it took Halloween. I, like, hooked up with the friends with benefits one last time. And I was like, that was fucking terrible. That's not how it's supposed to be. Wait, I think I do like Justin.

Okay. And then I agreed to date him, like, around the holidays that year. And we've been together ever since. You bring back up the conversation. You're like, I love to circle back on that girlfriend ass. And confirm. Yeah. No, literally.

Yeah, I was like, I guess I'll be your girlfriend now. Like, I just brought it up casually. I'm like, yeah, like, my family keeps staying boyfriend. and I'm kind of tired of correcting people. So I guess I'll be your girlfriend now. And he was really excited. I'm laughing thinking about him proposing to you and you being like, I don't really want to. Call back.

Call back to when I wouldn't be your girlfriend. Right. And you have to, when you're ready. Just like, we'd love to bring that back up. Raina loves an Austin, by the way. I love J names and I like Us. She likes a Justin or a Dustin. Oh.

We always said if your name is Dustin and you've worked in a cheesecake factory, Raina has fucked you. That's, okay. I don't think my Dustin worked in a cheesecake factory. He worked at somewhere else. You worked at the Cheesecake Factory. Texas Roadhouse? I wrote from Cheesecake Factory. It's called Hyde Park.

It's a steakhouse in Pittsburgh. But yes, I love a J name or an Austin. I'll let them ruin my life. Yeah, this is my third Justin. Is it really? Yeah. Like. I didn't even realize though until like Saturday.

I was like, wait, there was another Justin before the other one. And then like another Justin before the other one. And then like a number three. I have a few names like Eric and Chris and Matt, Eric Chris and Matt. And then, which is not my boyfriend now. But like for the, by dating history and then you were Mike. Mike 100% of the time. And I have no mics.

I have exclusively mics. I don't have a mic. And Austin's. More than a quarter of the roster. More than a third of the roster is named Mike or Michael. I had a lot of Jared's. Really? Yeah.

Have I ever had Jared Fried? You guys were breaking the news. I'm kidding. No, not Jared Fried. Love it. Love it. But no. I can see you guys having a good like podcasting rapport.

Oh my God. He's so funny. Yeah. He's just such a good time. And just so nice. Yeah, we love him so much. Multiple Jared's. Have you ever done Jared?

I've never done Jared and I've always wanted to. Hot name. Jared. Usually. It's an interesting one. I really know that I'm thinking about it. Like want to understand the origin because Minnesota it's like a lot of Scandinavian hockey bros. So that's what both of mine were.

Oh, Jay names are always hot to me. Jack, Jason, Jared, Justin. I like Jack. So hot. Jack is really underrated. My real turn. My real turn Delaware is. He looks like he's straight out of.

Yellowstone. Yes, he does. Raina would come with me sometimes to see houses. I was looking at mine. He'd just be, like, leaning up against the house. She was like, whew. It's unfair. I look at him.

I'm like, damn it. He's kids and wife. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's not available. So sorry, guys. Okay. Okay.

Well, we did want to just ask your relationship story. So thanks for sharing. Yeah. I love a Hinge success story. I know. I've met a lot recently. I'm like, okay, Hinge. Yeah.

Sponsor my wedding. Let's go. Oh, yeah. You definitely should. Do you ever have this moment where you're like, I almost didn't let this work out. Like I almost passed this up. Like it's like I've had that sometimes with my current partner where I'm like there were a couple times along the way where like I could have almost let this slip away and like thank God. Like it almost like thank God he just knew he knew or something,

right? A lot of guys you turn down a date ask. That's it. Well, he was crushed when I told him no. Yeah. We were at a Kings game. We had a New York trip planned coming up. And he was like, who am I going to like tell people I'm going to New York with? Like, and I play dumb. I knew where he was going, but like, I played really dumb. And I was like, oh, I don't know. Like your friend Morgan, he's like, well, he's like, I'd love to, you know, say you're my girlfriend Morgan. Like, would you be my girlfriend?

And I was like, no. And then, like, didn't want to see him again. Oh. So he left and he was crushed. Yeah. So if he would have taken that as like a no to everything done. Right. But even like, didn't you say he asked you on a date the first time and you said no?

Like, that could have been it too. Like all these times along the way you were really fighting. I was really self-sableness. She was like, no, no, no, she's going to be my wife. Like, how do these guys just know sometimes? I don't know. They like the chase. They're like, I'll wear it down.

No woman has ever been like, I'll wear them down. That's never happened in these. We've seen it as my time. We've seen it a few times, to be honest. I was on my computer because I was looking up this book that I'm currently in the middle of, it's a Taylor Jenkins read book. She wrote The Seven Huffisons of Eval and Ego. But she wrote this book maybe in another life.

And the first, like, three pages are this girl goes, like, she moves back to L.A. And she's about to leave the bar. And she can leave the bar with, like, her friend or her, like, high school crush and then the rest of the book every other chapter is like who she left the bar with and like how her life turned out and I've been thinking about this so much just these like very small decisions that we make in safe and what we say no or yes to it's like the butterfly fact it really it actually when I start thinking about it it really messes me up me too I think about it all the time I'm like oh my god there was a movie on Netflix too with Lily Reinhart that's that same I loved

it it didn't get good reviews I thought it was really good I recommended on the podcast and I got some DMs of people being like, I hated that movie. What's a call? Oh, stuff like this is my absolute. Both ways. Yeah. It's my absolute favorite. I like it. I thought it was really good.

It was just like frustrating because it was like, you're just watching and you know where it's going. You're just like, you just want to shake her. Yeah. But I really liked it. Yeah. Like I almost didn't go on the trip where we met. I don't know.

We just, I actually almost skipped the trip where I met Ashley. We both almost skipped it. Yeah. And I just like, they moved the trip so that I could go on the trip. I was famous. People used to care about me. Beckman. But like it just goes to show like, do you believe in fate? Yes. Are you okay? Because I'm like, I'm like that. I'm like, the universe is pulling some

strings. Like there's such a thing as fate. It just, it has to be. I think about how Ashley met her boyfriend all the time and like it's this whole thing. We'll tell them on the podcast one day. But like if I had made a different decision with her that day, we would have never met him. Yeah. Like if I had encouraged her to do like one different thing. Yeah. We would have never met him. And they've been together for almost a year now. Like it's so crazy to me. I know. I like shut her to think. You know. Okay. So we want to talk about some of these Am I the Assholes that we crowdsource from our listeners.

I love it. I'm so ready. We could have literally done all engaged or all family or all female friends, but we tried to mix it up. But we do have two engagement ones. I mean, it doesn't matter if you give a shit about getting engaged or not. They're so fun to dissect and talk about. I could talk about every one of these for so long. Should I kick it off? Yeah, kick it off. Okay. This one's just like short and funny. But okay, here we go. My fiancee had a profile for his ex. on HBO, now called Max, you guys. But I asked him to delete it because I hated seeing her name pop up every time I sign into watch. And he said, who cares? Let her watch HBO for free. I let it roll for a few months, even though we live together. Needless to say, we're married now and the profile has been deleted, but am I the asshole

for asking? If your answer is yes, I respectfully disagree. He's obviously the asshole here. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. And then she signed it no longer need the HBO ho. I would have changed the name. I wouldn't have been able to look at it. It's annoying.

You would have changed the name, but not kicked her off. the account. I mean, if he's the one paying for it, it's not my money, you know, whatever. If you're splitting it, fuck no, she's getting deleted today. Oh my God, she's still Venmoing him. Yeah, can you imagine? If Jess was paying for HBO, you'd let his ex be on the account with you. I'd change the name. But like, if he was going to put up a fit, but like, I'd be annoyed and I'd be fighting over it. I would never let it go. This was, I don't even, I can't even picture this because I would not be able to grasp it. Like, why?

Why? What's still going on here? I feel like it's one of those things where it's like, you either don't want to be mean to her, which it's like, that's not even mean. That's just like life, you broke up and move on. Yeah. But like why don't you want to remove her?

Like, why do you want to continue being nice? Like, are you holding out hope? Yeah. But you still kind of like, you want to see what she's up to? What are you checking the HBO? Like, I would be, I would have more questions. But it's like, if you're really, if you're not going to delete her,

then what can I do about it? I feel like the hard rule is the exes got to go when you get a new partner. I mean, if you want to keep your ex on your HBO or your Max, your Netflix or whatever, that's fine. But then a new partner comes along and then, yeah, they have to see it. Yeah, I don't need to see it. There's no reason for you to be communicating with your ex in any way when we are in a relationship.

And that includes paying for her subscription. Also, like, I am the queen of mooching subscriptions off of other people. so many people pay for my subscriptions and I as somebody who's in the culture could just continue to mooch this off as somebody else and none of them are my exes and I just don't think there's a reason for us to like be in each other's lives and like

this to me is almost like it's too familiar like he could go into her HBO and see what she's watching and he could text her and be like how are you liking the current season of succession or whatever and I don't need you guys interacting like that no and I'm not like nobody of every day would call me a jealous person I'm just not and I date people that I trust or I don't date

them but like there's no reason for you to be here yeah i mean his response of who cares let her watch hbo for free i mean i guess my only thing is there's a there is a world in which this like there's a few guys i can think of that are just so trustworthy like i don't know i'm kind of thinking of like rob he wouldn't do this but like our friend rob i don't know he's just like the most trustworthy guy like he's married he's a child but it's like he's phones out he's a million girl friends like he's not friends with his exes i would actually never see him in this position but there's a i guess just a certain type of guy that you're like he literally just it's not a thing and I can't really fault him for it but it's very rare it feels genuine to me that's like who cares that I'm watching

yeah feels very on the surface like that is really how he feels about it like I'm paying for it it anyways like who cares but I don't need this halo of her around our relationship no this is oh god people are going to like be yelling at me but I actually like really hate when people share pets after they break up oh we can talk about this forever you need get a contingency plan or don't get a pet with someone that you're dating get your dog and it's your dog but like i hate when people are like yeah we still share custody of a dog after dating for a year okay so the dog is now older than your relationship was and you're sharing this dog i have such strong opinions no one wants to fucking deal with that no and also like there are a million other dogs in

the world so many dogs i need home i need homes yeah but yeah i follow this woman i guess i mean it's her and her dog his name is Simon Sitz and he's a rescue and he's special needs and I'm like obsessed with them. She's definitely turned into doing a lot more dog lifestyle content, which I love how she's pivoted. And she posted this thing. I shared it on my story. I got a ton of DMs about it. And it was just like, if you were going to get a dog with somebody, decide before you take that dog home who gets it when you break up. You might not, but like if when you break up, sharing custody with exes of a pet is wild to me. It's so crazy. I don't care people come for me again, like because at the end of the day, it's give another pet a new home.

want another pet. Like, you've got to decide that going in. It gets so dicey with the new partners. Like, we're talking to a couple. And, like, one person has a new partner and the ex is coming over. They have a key to get the dog. No. Because they walk the dog and stuff.

That's just that's too much for me. Like, I'll take the HBO account any day of the week over sharing custody of a dog with someone. We're not in our home. We're not sharing belongings. I can't really speak to it because I've never shared a pet with a significant other. But after a breakup, I just, I really want a clean break. I don't want reasons to be texting each other. I don't actually want you to have access to my life in the sense that I'm saying like, well, I'm going to be out for dinner, so I need you to come to the house and get this. I'm going to get out of town. Can you take this dog? I don't want somebody to have access to me that way. I don't need you well, I don't need you well, I don't want to know about it. It's painful. Breakups are really hard. I need a break. Same with kids. You just have to decide. One person takes it. I'm kidding. There's only one person. I was like, where's she going with this? No, can you imagine? I'm like, I don't believe in joining custody.

there's only one situation which I guess I have some leniency towards if you like you have a difficult dog that really doesn't board well or do well and you are going on a vacation and the ex is the person they trust the most and I don't hate it because I've been there but that's a one option. The sharing and not pre-planning. Like my number one thing above all is when you get that pet together, especially when you're not married, you have paperwork. Yep. Like what are we doing? I mean, it's the same point.

It's a pre-up. Yeah. Most people break up. Yeah. Prepare. I used to be so against pre-naps. And now I'm like, I'm team pre-nup. I love it.

Oh, we are. Just prepare for the worst, hope for the best. Yeah. Like you can imagine this great life with this person. But like, what if, right? Just like, don't be left in the dark. Don't create issues. What's going to happen to you?

Yeah. Or even like now, I think everyone should do like advanced health care directives. So like if you have been with your partner for five years, you're not married yet. make sure they make you their medical decision maker or allow you to be in the hospital because if their family doesn't like you, you're banned from the hospital if they're in a coma. You're fucked. You have no decision making. The family can move them wherever they want.

Like, you don't get anything. Yeah, I learned that with Dr. Morgan in here. Here we go. Oh, yeah, you're a doctor. It's so fake. We just pivot. We do all medical advice from here and out. She's like, guys, I'm not a medical doctor.

I learned that a few years ago with my dad because he was hospitalized and he was married and she is the dumbest person I've ever met in my life, his wife. And she was the one making. Oh, she doesn't listen. Oh, I hate her. She really terrible. Yeah, I hope. The worst thing that you can happen to a person, I hope that happens to her. But my dad was really, like, fucked up.

He's hospitalized and she had like full reign, of course. Power of attorney, whatever. Yeah. I couldn't even call the hospital and ask questions as his daughter. And she, again, I cannot stress it was so stupid and should not be responsible for medical information. Right. Well, and the sad thing is, like one bad decision can kill someone. Right.

Like, oh, if you had a stroke, I'm like, early intervention is key. This is my OT brain, but I'm like, what a fucking bitch. You're right. Well, they're no longer together, so. We did it, fam. We did it. Okay. Okay, well, I'm glad we got into the dog thing.

It's been on my mind. It really. I can't stand it. My dad shares a dog with his ex-girlfriend. It drives me fucking bonkers. It's too much involved. I guess, listen, there's always exceptions to every rule and tons of people are like, you know, the relationship's over and we are just friends.

and we should find. But if your new partner has a problem with it, I think it should be open for discussion. If you certainly are not healed from the relationship, it should be open for discussion. I just don't need you well-mey around my life. You just, you decide it beforehand. Then you avoid this all the way down the road. Like, people are so scared to have these conversations. Like, get realistic about life where half of couples break up, half of married couples. So even less of just dating. Yeah. So anyway. Yeah. So kids and dogs figure out who's going to get it. Can you imagine like if I got a dog with somebody, like the way I'd be like, this is my dog or this is your dog like in writing

I'm with you okay now we're moving into our engagement segment okay next email my boyfriend of six years and I recently flew across the country to visit his family for a week his mom made wedding venue appointments for the three of us to go on we are not engaged

oh that's a subtle hint if I've ever seen one so six years together not engaged they're going home okay we're not engaged although we've discussed it and it is coming soon and I'm a bit salty he's taking his sweet time. I said I didn't want to go visit any venues because we're not engaged. So I didn't go. Am I the asshole? Did he still go with his mom though? So that's all we have. Do you email people back a lot? Sometimes. Yeah. I'm a nosy. I'm a nosy bitch. No, I said, you need the information.

Context is like really important. Now I got to know if they went without her. I want to know if the mom and son went. Yeah. No, you're not the asshole. I think it's a little bit cart before the horse, but like I know some people that buy their wedding dresses before they're. They're engaged, but that's their decision. It's not their mother-in-law trying to light a fire under her son's ass and be like, you need to propose because here's the venue and happens to be available next fall. Let's do it. I am going to a wedding this summer.

This is my boyfriend's very close friend. They had the wedding, the venue booked and had the date before he proposed. But it's their culturally, it's not a Western wedding, if you will. This is a call back to Morgan's episode where we got a country one. really idiotic moment. If you guys listen, it's so embarrassing. But anyway, so... It's Eastern but not Western. They're not wearing chaps. Yes. It's not country Western. Okay, there we go. It's a different culture. It's not just like a, you know, Christian or American. Yeah, not your traditional Western wedding. So I did ask because I thought it was interesting, and it just wasn't weird for them.

So I always wanted to just throw that into the mix. And like, the engagement, the culturally, is more in sitting down with the families and just kind of discussing it. It feels a little bit more like, it's not an arranged marriage. by any stretch. But it just is a little bit different, but I don't think that's what we're dealing with here. I think we're dealing with like standard. She wants to get engaged. Yeah. Wants it to feel like somewhat of a surprise and here they are. The mom is like we got to get a venue book. Yeah. I would, I would be the same. I think the mom. You'd be the same with the girl. I'm not going. I'd be annoyed. And I'd be like, hey, like, Cheryl, talk to your son. Like, as excited as you are for us to get married, like, if you really want to apply some pressure, like have a conversation with him,

but don't make this like about me because like that's also salt in the wound it's not fun looking at wedding stuff it's not fun being asked whether you're getting engaged a million fucking times because it's like you want it you've waited six years I told my fiance I go if it doesn't happen by year five I'm done I was like I love you but like if you're not aligned with me like I'm not wasting any more time so it sounds like a real point of contention that they are not engaged she says I'm salty about it it's been six years it has it has hasn't been one year, two years, we haven't talked about this. She is upset. She wants this ring. And you're just like, you said pouring salt in the wound. By the way, you are not engaged.

And I don't know, maybe he said to his mom, like, I am planning on doing it. So like, let's get a, there's like no communication where I can understand where this would like have ever even gotten communicated to this girl. I'm going deeper with it. This is completely not how I'd want my man to even be with his mom. Like, I'd be like, how did this even come across my desk? You know, like, how did this even happen? Like, if the mom. Mom suggested this, you should have said, hey, mom, I haven't proposed yet. Hard no. Don't bring it up to her. How did this even reach her? I know.

I would be like, how did the conversation even go with your fucking with Cheryl? You know, like, it's crazy to me. She's really stepping on toes or like maybe has some unclear boundaries with her son. Well, even what you said, like the embarrassment of being at the venue with the venue people and them saying when's the wedding and you say we're not engaged yet. Like, you're making me feel stupid. You're making me feel crazy because everyone's going to. And crazy.

Everyone's going to be like, well, that was weird. She came in here. You could get me to do it. Right. And she already made the appointments. Like, she didn't float should we go. She made appointments already. Also, what if they want a destination wedding?

Like, how do you even know? Have you asked me where we should be making? There are, like, mother-in-laws that really overstap and they're like, I have a bigger friend group. I'm paying for this. I got all the money. I am going to pick where we're doing this. Then talk to your son.

This is so crazy to me. Yeah. Like, if the mom is that type of mom who, like, is running shit. then make him propose. Yeah. Yeah. This might be the straw for me. Like if this happened and then it's like the salt, it's like, okay, well, why aren't we engaged?

Like your mom thinks we're serious enough to book venues. We're talking about this with every venue manager. You're going to explain to them why we're not engaged. Actually, that would be funny to go on all those appointments and just have a tantrum everywhere. I would just black out. We're here, but guess what? I'm not engaged. I would just make a scene at every place.

We're going to talk to every single person at the venue. I want to have the waiters. You explain to them. we're not engaged. The way I would walk in and be like just when everybody know I'm not engaged, but this woman made this appointment. Like I would just throw her under the bus. I would just be the biggest asshole. I'd go to the appointments, but you regret it. I feel this, though. I feel this. God. It's, you get to that five year mark and you're like, okay, when's it going to happen? And now she's on year six. And like, people just nonstop ask.

It's, oh. Six years a long time. I met someone the other day that was dating for 14 years before they got engaged and just recently got married. Did they start dating when they were like 13? No, 20s. But did they want to? They were just waiting. You know, marriage isn't for everybody. Yeah.

No, they were holding out. Oh, my God. I wouldn't be able to do it. I'm not that strong. Yeah. So I want to talk about that kind of like set an light ultimatum, I guess. But when did you tell them that? I, well, I made a joke year one where I was like, okay, well, by year three, like,

we should have a decent idea of like, if we want a long-term future together. And then at year three, when we did, and I was like, okay, but if we're not engaged by year five, I will just say, like, I'm not going to stick around. Like, this is not an ultimatum. This is, like, I want you to be sure you know. Yeah.

But for me, like, I do want certain things in my life. And if by year five, like, you're not ready for those things, then I have to move on because it takes time to find a new person, date, get serious, you know, whatever. So I like that you framed it as this is, an ultimatum is just a discussion about goals and what I'd like for my future. And I'm not telling you you you have to do anything. I'm just telling you how I see my future bank.

Exactly. And it's like it's not an ultimatum because it's like you can't force someone to do something. You can set your boundaries. You can be very open. And this is where I go down the rabbit hole of like the difference between a boundary and an ultimatum. And it's tough. But like you have to have those conversations. Because otherwise like you're denying yourself things you really want and that are going to make you happy.

Yeah. That's still pretty lenient. Five years is a long time. You know, three years and then the five years. I love the way that you frame that also and, like, gave the language for it even for our listeners. How old are you guys? I just turned 30. He'll be 30 in August.

Okay. Oh, you younger, man. Yeah, I know. He likes to joke that I'm a cougar. I'm like, it's six months of difference. What the hell? Everybody just let's stop this conversation. And then was he like, yeah?

Yeah, he was like, I respect that. Like, I know I want to marry you. I think his biggest thing and like I think this is maybe the patriarchy at play is like he wanted to be in a position like of a more provider like I want to be able to like pay for the ring. I want to be able to pay for a wedding. I want to be able to like, you know, go in on things with you. So his nervousness was that. Like he was ready. But then it's like, okay, well, we can just get engaged. Like you don't have to then do all these other things. Like even now that I'm engaged like, it's this weird sense of security where I'm like wedding. We'll get to it when we get to it. Maybe we'll lope this fall and then have the real one, like down the line. But the engagement, like, it flipped a switch in my head, which is really weird. In terms of more security? Yeah. Great.

You can relax a little. Yeah. It's like, well, what's the difference? Like, it's just like a little, like, paperweight on my hand now, but it's just this weird. It's a different level of commitment. Yeah, it is. It's like, it's more of that forward facing, like, I choose you. I want to be with you.

I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. We have a friend that felt like. that. I remember her telling me, she's like, I just, not about the ring necessarily, but she was like, I just want to know for certain that, like, on the one, we're in this. Like, and then I feel like she is completely chilled out about when the wedding will be, if ever. Yeah. I've seen that a lot. Lifelong fiancé. Yeah, I've seen that a lot of people, though. They just kind of like, calm down. They relax a little bit more. Yeah, you can relax a little bit. Yeah. I'd be even curious to talk to men who have proposed and if they could notice the difference of just like you get to relax, chill a little bit. I feel like, yeah. I like the energy shifts. Oh, he's said so too. He's like, everything feels so zen, like, so happy and fun right now.

I'm like, yeah. So you could have had this a long time ago. You shouldn't have waited so long. That's so fun. Well, of course, I asked how old you guys are because, like, giving somebody a five-year runway at 25 is super normal and healthy and fine. At 40, if you're not sure if you want to marry me and I want to have kids, that's like, you can't have a five-year runway.

No. So that's why I asked how old you guys were because it's different at every age. Yeah. Okay. No, if I was going to start dating again, it'd be like a year. And if I don't know at that point, then I'm out. Next. Everything's just short.

Next. It's changed to one and three instead of three and five. Okay. So we talked about- We talked about. Exactly. Another day closer to death. All right.

Well, speaking to rings, we love this one so much. Okay, she says, my boyfriend and I've been together for over two years. We've recently started talking about engagement in marriage. Recently, we got into one of the biggest arguments we've ever had about picking out the engagement ring. My boyfriend is very passionate that an engagement should be a complete surprise, including the engagement ring. We argued back and forth for about an hour about this. I tried to get him to ask my friends, just the general. style I like and he says he doesn't want anyone but my parents to know he's going to propose.

He even said if you don't like the ring I pick, we can just return it. I even suggested buying just a gold band first and he said he wants to buy me a diamond. I want to mention that this isn't a control thing with him. He genuinely wants every aspect of the proposal to be a surprise and a really special moment just for the two of us. So am I the asshole for wanting my boyfriend to have free reign on picking my ring or should I just let him pick and hope for the best. Sincerely just wants a solitaire cushion cut and yellow gold. Go off. It's a nice style.

Or she drop her name. Okay. What do you think? My answer. In a way. So correct answer. Yeah, in a way. We went to different jewelry stores together.

I tried on a bunch of options. And then they didn't have like the moisanite that I wanted in the store. So they had to like order it in. And so I just got to hold like the loose stone over my hand. So I like then told them what I wanted. But I never saw the final. ring. Yeah. The surprise is special, but it can't be

I mean, we're talking about like Aden with the pear cut with Sex and the City. I mean, that's what's happening here. And then he talked to Samantha and he picked the right ring. Like, it's terrifying. A boy picking out something you're not going to wear forever. You're not going to like it. Why don't you want them to pick out pajamas I'm going to wear? And I'm going to throw that out after a season. No. Like I, okay, I picked out my ring. There was this jewelry

store that we used to walk by a lot. And one day I saw this ring I wanted in the window. And I walked him by the jewelry store and was like, that's the thing I want. Yeah, there's just a lot of different ways to go about it. Like, you're not going to get something you love if you don't pick it yourself. To him to completely block her on giving general direction. At least take a fucking minute and look at the Pinterest board. Like, yeah, at that point, you're just being willfully ignorant about what I want for the sake of your own selfish needs. Right. Right. Yes. This is about me as well. I have to wear it. Yes. Yeah, I have to wear it forever.

So him being like, well, we can return it. Why don't just get it right from the start? So then I'm ultra happy. The pictures we take and share to announce are ones I love the ring in. It's not that hard. Like what is it about your ego that you can't allow for a little bit of input? And I like that she acknowledged. Like I genuinely think he just wants to surprise me.

I think it comes from a good place. But at some point, like his need to surprise her has superseded his desire to make her happy with this thing that she wants. Yeah. And it's not fair. No. Why does that super seem what I want? huge problem with the we can just return it. That's not how this works. That is like your ego speaking. That's so crazy. We all know the moment is so special. There's photos. I'm not going to be happy.

And the thing is there is such a spectrum of this. It's not just I pick it out exactly or it's a complete surprise. Most people fall somewhere in the middle. Also of a general direction has been provided. You've talked to her best friend or her mom or whoever it may be. This is just doesn't have to be one way or the other. No. I'm glad that you run up boys. night because listen at different ages finances come into play a little bit more but like when I was getting engaged we didn't have that much money and I wanted to communicate to him I don't care if this is like a CZ I don't care if it's Moise Night like I want to discuss it even to the point of like what I am comfortable with you spending because like if we're going to build our life together and neither us has any money I don't want you to put yourself in a financial position at the beginning of our

relationship that I don't need you to be in like I don't need you to spend all this money on a diamond we can replace the diamond someday like and everybody is totally different feeling you about this. You should do exactly what you want. These lab-grown diamonds are bombed. They're gorgeous. I just don't care that much about a perfect real diamond if we're young and we have no money. Real diamonds, you cannot guarantee if it's ethically sourced diamond or not. You literally cannot guarantee it. The lab-grown diamonds are getting so good that there's a bunch of studies coming out now that like a lot of the diamonds that are being marketed as real like secondhand are actually lab-grown because

the people can't tell. Wow. Well, and our friend who is, is a jewelry designer. She's incredible and she does like very nice, expensive pieces for like high-end clients. And she does, she'll do whatever you want. But she's just, the only difference is the resell value. It has nothing to do with how it looks and the clarity. It's just if you were planning on reselling it. So here we go with the engagement thing. That's not the plan. So they don't hold their value as much. But like you said, I think we're getting into a space where you can't even tell a difference sometimes. Like even professionals. No. And like if you go lab or moisonite, like I was able to go so much bigger.

And like if I told you how much this cost, you'd be like, what the fuck? But who is this for? Like, nobody at lunch is your girlfriends, because that's what you're trying to impress. They bring out their monocle. No, it's going to whip out their monocle and be like, that's not real. Yeah. Like, who are we trying to impress here? What's the difference?

I look at, like, guys that don't listen to who they're proposing to for input. To me, you just want to lift your leg and piss on it. Mm-hmm. Like, you want to mark your territory. I have a friend and she does like her ring now. But she literally, like, we sat down and recorded an episode for her podcast and she literally goes, I wanted your ring. Like, that's literally what I told him I wanted.

If you could draw up the complete opposite of this, that's what she got. Rectangle, halo around it, thick band, pave diamonds all around the band. And she goes, I love it now because, you know, he put all this thought and energy going to the jeweler and doing it. But when I got it, I was so, like, it just wasn't. what I wanted. Yeah. And it's like, that is a very special day. It's about both of you. He gets to plan it. That is a huge surprise. Yay. But let me have a little input on the ring because also you want to mark this day with the ring, right? Yeah. What does that mean if you're returning it? Right. You don't have

anything left to signify the day. It's so true. I do want like this memory of this moment. I want to look at the ring and be like, I remember this. Not I remember returning this. I had a friend and her now. husband proposed on our college campus, like we went to Clemson. It was like very, the way he planned it was great. And he's like a thoughtful good planner, but I don't know what happened with the sizing. And he did not get it right. And she could not get it on her finger. So all the pictures were sitting like on this. She had to just do like the pictures with it sitting like right on the top of her. It couldn't go over her knuckle. I would have borrowed someone's hand and like held their hand like angled it weird. I don't know.

I would have borrowed someone's hand. And then you don't know. It was it was. It was. It was brutal. Like, it wasn't a like, let's lube it up and get it on. It was genuinely. It will not go over the knuckle. So she. Oh, no. I just felt so bad. So this stuff matters. Okay, next email. I told my husband he is not allowed to go to strip clubs anymore because I found, because I found out he lied about going to one while I was out of the country with his family. What? So she's on vacation with his family. No, I know. I just want more info. She's up about his family and he's at the strip club. He's like, why don't you take a vacation with my family? Because I want to see these ditties.

That's so insane. He was like, if I can send her off with my family, I'm going full post at the strip club. You know, my sister-in-law and I are going to Amsterdam this summer. My brother's staying home. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I guess. I'm going to a strip club.

We're going to Amsterdam. 100%. Okay. He and his friend went to a fully nude one in town. It was a fully new strip club. Stayed out until 4 a.m. went home and unplugged our security cameras. So I couldn't see what was happening.

happening. If you unplug my security case, he's cheating. I will be on the phone with you so quickly. There's no reason to unplug a security camera unless you're cheating. That's insane. What are you doing? Okay, I found out about it because his email was open on my computer. When confronted, he said they didn't. I guess didn't go to the strip club. It took him four months to finally

fess up. His friend is for sure a piece of shit that cheats on his wife often. I already don't like him, obviously, and try to limit how often they hang out together. He gets pissed at me when I talk poorly about his friend. And we always end up arguing about this dude. Am I the asshole for not allowing him to go to the strip club or hang out with his friend more?

I mean, it sounds like you, I've... Okay, you go like hers. Yeah. No, no, no, you had it. I'm sitting over here. I'm kind of fuming right now. I'm just like, this is... Every part of this is bad.

It sounds like you've information about this friend. You know he's a bad influence. And your husband lied to you. That's the problem you have. Like, you not allowing him, you can set your boundary. But, girl, he's going to keep lying to you. he's going to keep going. He's going to keep doing what he wants because he doesn't respect you. It's not about the strip club. It's not about the strip club. There's like there's deeper issues here that either need to be seen with a therapist or figured out or relationship ended. It's so much deeper than the strip club because I feel like she's in her head like how am I this. Well, I don't know how she feels. A lot of women, we've talked about this on a whole episode. The fact that she even wrote in feels like she doesn't want to be a woman that bans her man from going to the strip club.

Yeah, I don't think strip clubs are inherently a problem. Like if my fiancee was going to be like, hey, I'm going to go to the strip club this weekend with the guys. I'd be like, cool, have fun. You know, I'm kind of jealous. I want to go. But like, have fun. It's the fact that like it's been a boundary and he lied about it. And it took him four months to fess up.

So he lied to your face repeatedly on multiple different occasions for four months and then tells you. Yeah. And the fact that he unplugged the cameras, he's taking actions to deceive you. I mean, a lot of these, I would say, ask your partner how they would feel in your shoes. You are going to the strip club with your friend who cheats on his wife all the time. If the roles were reversed, how would you feel if I was going to, I know it's a little bit different, but to a male strip clubber with a bunch of dudes, with their dicks out, with my friend who cheats on her husband all the time? I mean, how would you feel?

No. I mean, he probably wouldn't care if he's cheating. I'm not also saying that he's cheating. I just like, there's so many things going on here that suck. Yeah. For her. I feel bad that she's even in the position to be like, I don't trust your judgment when you're out with this person.

I don't think that like one person can make another person do anything. And I can't really recall a time of my life where I said like, do not hang out with this friend. I will judge you if you spend time with this person. I don't really understand it. But I feel bad she's already in this position where she's like, my husband's not even an adult enough to like make his own decisions. And then he took the extra step of unplugging the cameras.

The strip club thing doesn't bother me isolated. Yeah. Because like you said with Justin, you'd be like, all right, have fun. I trust you. It doesn't matter. It's that he took this extra step to make sure she couldn't see it. Also, why is he unplugging the cameras? I'm confused.

He got home and unplugged them? Why did he unplug them? That's what I'm trying to figure out. The only reason you unplug a camera is because you're about to do something in that house, that area that you don't want your wife seen. So he went out at 4 a. Or is it just because he didn't want to know what time he got home. But then when did he unplug the camera?

I don't know. after he got home. So she said, stayed out until four, went home and unplugged the security cameras. Yeah, unplugged it. So I couldn't see what was happening. So maybe so she wouldn't see that he got home at four. You guys, my head goes down the darkest place. I'm like, he walked in, unplugged the camera and then went back outside to grab who was waiting. Oh my God. Yeah. Do like come on? No, who used to say? I mean, here's the thing. It's just like she is going to be constantly playing whack them all with issues. So she's like, okay, you lied about the strip club. So he can't go to the stroke club anymore.

But something else is going to pop up. But then you're like, now you can't hang out with this friend. Now you can't do this thing. Like he's going to do what he wants to do. Like it actually has nothing to do with like seeing a bunch of strangers' pussies. Like the stroke club is not the issue here. For her to just keep, she's like chasing a moving target. Yeah.

That's just going to keep changing. It's genuinely the fact that you can't trust him. Yeah. Which a relationship without trust, you're doomed. Yeah. And he doesn't respect you enough to communicate to you, to tell you the truth. he's willing to lie to you for months until you nag him enough or catch him enough to where he's oh, I'm caught. I can finally fess up. Like you have a big problem here. It's really not about the strip

club because like I know so many people are heated on that. They're like, you know, my partner can't go to a strip club. It's disrespectful to me in our relationship. There's, you know, there's so many arguments there. But like it's really actually not about that. Like you have bigger issues. Yeah. And she says that he gets pissed me when I talk poorly about the friend. But I go of town for one night and you go to a strip club of this person, you spend time with him, you come before in the morning, you unplug our cameras. Everything that I thought about this person was true. There is evidence here now. The last thing I'm concerned with is the strip club. He gets pissed when I talk poorly about the friend who's cheating on his wife. I think that gives

free reign to talk your shit. I think so. Are we not in a marriage that's committed? Like, shouldn't you be talking shit on him too? Yeah, quacks like a duck, walks like a duck. It's probably a motherfucking duck. Yeah. Shouldn't you want to surround yourself with more high caliber people. Okay, so fine. Sometimes people are grandfathered. Sounds like no. Sometimes grandfathered. Sometimes they're grandfather. But I'm not going to a strip club with that person. Like, fine, you want to go to dinner with him and come up at a normal hour? I guess I could deal with this. This is your lifelong friend. But you have taken this person who's already a low caliber person. You've gone to a strip club with him. Well, that's a friend you're going with.

Yeah, guilty by association, I'm going to say. Like, you are who you like hang out with. Like, it shows your true colors maybe a little bit because you're so close with this person. There's, A lot to unpack there. I know I really feel for her in this relationship that there are tons of red flags. And if you guys are curious about more strip club discussion, I think our episode is called What Counts is Cheating. Does that sound right? It kind of just came back to me.

And it was probably a couple years ago. It was our first YouTube episode, I think. Was it? Maybe. It was probably in 2022. We were in the New York City studio. And we did a poll and we had so many people share their thoughts on like, it's a really hot topic.

It's a very. Just should I allow my partner to go to a strip club? so highly debatable and is it a bachelor is it a bachelor party or is this down the street from our house why are we doing this yeah is it a weeknight with a buddy for no reason what's the point of wednesday what are you getting to right now the day the week matters for rainish she's like does no strip clothes on tuesday are you going there for the wings special or the tits right yeah this is this an event with a bunch of guys or is this where you've chosen to have dinner it's like weird yeah well and it's also what are you doing when you're there are you sitting around the main

stage watching like a general dance yeah or are you then in a booth getting private dances where they're like actually on you. Right. Totally. That changes things for me. Scumbag cheater on his wife, he's getting lap dances. A hundred percent. This is what he's chosen. He's like, come on man, your wife's out of town. He's not going to know. I want to know where people live. We need to start saying where you live. Because I'm like, are they in Atlanta, strip club capital of the world? Are they in Cleveland? Why? What's the difference? Like, it's just like, I got to get a visual.

There's like more people go to strip clubs in Atlanta. Like, that's what you do. It's like being Paris in the Apple Tower. I want to know the type of strippers. Yeah. Canada? Yeah. Canada? That's all it is.

Is this in Canada and they're doing the tuni toss? Right. Have you heard about that? No. So in Canada they have like tunis. Like they're coins essentially. Okay. And so some of the strip clubs there, like they have like a cone that the dancer will like hold in front of their vagina and you shoot the coins into the cone.

What? Do you do that our shows? Tune toss. Like where's the coat? We're going to wear it around. Get a strap on belt for your cone. I think it. it sounds fun right now we should incorporate you want to do it

you and may or let Ryan walk around like a tip chart church it's the collection plate is Ryan where he does go I think I'm used the money to take me on a date I don't know I kind of like the thought of us on stage and people are throwing coins at us just get pelted we have like a few haters and they just hit us in the face oh my god well people are throwing shit at shows

BB rexas got hit in the face with a phone that made me so mad it was so sad I felt so bad for her people throwing stuff it's so gross A cardie. Someone threw a water bottle. She threw a microphone at somebody. That's what it was. She drew back. Yeah. It's so gross. Don't start no shit. Don't throw heavy shit. Okay. Should we end on this one? This is a personal fave.

I care if I read it. Okay. I guess read it. Okay. Last night I was like reading this laughing. It was texting right and she was already asleep. But I was like, did you read this one? It was my favorite. She started me in the car. I'd like died. Okay. Hey ladies. My husband asked what I wanted from the grocery store and I told him a watermelon. He proceeded to tell me, to eat the grapes in the fridge, and he didn't want to waste money on more fruit that would just go bad when we already had fruit. I hate that energy.

Like, your parents, like, we have ice cream at home. It's like $2.00. She's getting a different fruit. He then came home without the watermelon, but with a four pack of cupcakes. Later that night, I was staring at the price tag, $9.89 on the cupcake package and filled with rage, I punched each individual cupcake through the package. Girl. all just enough to ruin the aesthetic but not the integrity of the cupcake. I did feel bad later and told him I punched them out of rage.

And then he felt bad later and went back to the store to get him at the watermelon while I was taking a shower. Love you guys. You got me through my doctoral program. She's a doctor like you. And my long-distance relationship, aka the worst time of my life. Oh, okay. You helped me get to the other side and come into my own best, Dr. Katie. We're not going to read her full name.

But the cupcake puncher also salted the pastry. She's in med school. She's pissed and she's like, yeah, salted the cupcakes. Honestly, I get it though. Like, how easy is it to just get me a watermelon? We're in a debate about something that's $3? Are you serious? Well, listen, is she a food wasteer? Because he went back and got it. He corrected his mistake, but I'm wondering if there's a deeper issue there where he's like, she never finishes the... Who cares? Get the watermelon. If you're worried about it going to waste, get the pre-cut stuff. That's even like it's a little more expensive. But then, one, don't have to do the work to come. cut it. Less to eat.

Hopefully it won't get wasted. But get the watermelon. Get someone what they want from the grocery store. We learned this in the breakup, like baby one of 12 lemons. Like just get what your partner asks, unless it's something extreme. I'm sure you can afford the watermelon. You can afford your $10 cupcakes. Like just get what your partner wants you.

You know what I mean? Like don't put your shit on them of like we have grapes in the fridge. Like just get the, this is so weird. It's like I asked you to do a thing. Would she say no to him? No. said like hey babe can you pick me up some cupcakes would she be like fuck you you don't need absolutely not no she'd get the cupcakes fuck your cupcake fuck your cup like he's at the store and like

you said he could get the pre-cut small amount of watermelon we're not in a watermelon drought in this country right it's not an endangered species species is a hard word to say i was a little speech impediment it's also the wrong word but yeah endangeloved that's a watermelon endangered species there's no scarcity of water mal there you go it's weird it's weird It's like, okay, is this a control thing? Like, just get me my watermelon. And then you have to go back now anyways. Like, the weaponized incompetence surrounding grocery shopping for people baffles me.

Ashley and I don't even like it when we order on Instacart and it is a man that picks our stuff up. A man shopping for me, I can't talk about this enough. They always get the wrong things. They never pick good substitutions. I should be able to select my Instacart. Like, I select my TaskRapit. Like, because it's just a woman all this. time. I'll pay more. I'll pay premium for a woman. That's just should be a woman. They should be a woman.

They honestly should add that as a future. Yeah. That I really is so nuts. I would pay. I would pay additionally to always guarantee I get a gal. This girl got me a similar nail polish color. She's like, I thought this would look nice. Similar color. I was like right on. Thank you. So I have an iPhone recently Instagram stories that a man got my full Sephora Hall, five things. He was five for five. But then I did a whole story on it. I was so proud of him. And I like even screenshot a photo of him. And I like set it to the hero by Mariah Carey on my Instagram story, whatever. I was like, he really did that. And then someone DM me and was like the Sephora employee shop and they just hand it off

to the Instagram. No. I was like, it wasn't the name Burké. I was like, Burké did that. I like unboxed it. I was like, oh my God, we're like five for five. Every single thing, every shade is correct. This is too good to be true.

And someone, yeah, ruined it for me. It was like, yeah, we just do that at Sephora. I'm going to, I also feel like, listen, relationships are hard and there's a million things to fight about. This cannot be the thing. that we are arguing about. Right. I'm asking for fruit.

And it's not like there's five different types of champagne, and I've asked for the most expensive one, and you're like, we don't have the money for that right now. Just give me the fucking fruit. Well, so is she the asshole for punching the cupcakes? I love the cupcake punch. It's a little unhinged, a little unhinged. I think the punishment fits the crime.

It clearly sent the right message, and you got your watermelon after. So, I mean, you're not that wrong because it worked. I kind of. Not knowing anything else about this couple. I just feel like I like them. I just feel that she is funny. You know, she punched the cupcakes, then she apologized,

then he went and got the watermelon. Like, I just feel like they're laughing about this and telling this at dinner parties. No, this is a good one. Yeah. This is so much better than the stick. I want to know, like, what happened to her that day, though? Like, what state of mind is she in when she goes into the kitchen and she just did her doctor test?

Like, what is happening this day? Is she drunk all the lights off in the kitchen? It's like late at night she's gone down for a snack and she's just like, fuck the, Did she punch the top of it? All four of them got fucked up at once. She's like, if I don't get what I want, you don't get what you want. Right. And also, like, I like that she, like, gently punched them.

She's like, you could still eat them. They just don't look like. Well, she said she preserved the integrity. She's a respect for pastries, that's for sure. She was like, I didn't have the heart to ruin them. To ruin them. I want to, like, be a fly on the wall watching this person, like, think through, like, am I going to punch this cupcake?

I know. Just the wavering, the back and forth. The, like, the tremble. Am I going to do it? Is it coming? You're having this out-of-body experience. Like, I'm like, what to do this? Have you ever done something like that, though, where it's like you break something of someone

so you retaliate and then instantly regret it? Because it sounds like she regretted it. Yeah. She told him, like, I was me. I'm sorry. Actually, I have a callback. I had one of those moments where my Austin was at a strip club and I pulled up and I was like so mad.

I ran in there and I was screaming at him. In the strip club? Yep. And I was having like an out-of-body experience of like, I can't believe I'm doing this. She's really doing it. She's really here. Oh, my gosh. Do you drag them out of there?

I don't think that that was really on the table. We just fought a lot. I was 22. You know, you do a lot of stuff when you're 22. Yeah. Well, this was so fun. This was so good. Yeah.

This flew by. This was such a blast. I know. I just want to keep going. You have really good write-ins. You have really good ones. We love doing your show. We really couldn't speak highly enough about it.

But we, yeah, we love our listeners and they always deliver. And there were so many more. So maybe we'll get to them over time. You shouldn't to tackle them more, especially like the family stuff is really just, it's trickier. Yeah. In-laws. are really tough. It's a tough relationship to navigate with anyone, especially. And then, like, you have your mother-in-law that tries to breastfeed your baby. And, you know, there's always

crazy stories that happen with in-laws. So, it is so highly nuanced. You don't get to pick them. No. Your fucking family. That's insane. Isn't that wild? You're like, this is my family. I didn't choose this. I know. So anyway, well, Morgan, tell everybody where they can listen to you, find you, find you all the things. I have a podcast called Two Hot Takes. You can find it wherever you listen to podcast, YouTube, TikTok, wherever. We read crazy Reddit stories. It's a good time. But that's it. Great. Your studio is beautiful. So we do recommend watching it. You have a great YouTube presence. But we went in there and we were so impressed with everything you have set up. I know. Your episode is amazing. It comes out this week, I think, actually. So it's going to be good.

Be sure to listen to that. You guys crushed it. Your takes were so good. Thank you. Especially about the wedding and the chaps and. Don't judge us, you guys. And also find Morgan on Zocke. doc doc doc doc though oh my god i'm just kidding no i love doc doc though oh my god you guys get a doctor okay and you know where to find us girls got to eat dot com we are girls got eat podcast on instagram and ticot i'm ash hess rena is reina dot greenberg and our other company vibes only is vibes only dot com vibes only on instagram subscribe on youtube share this episode with a friend and we'll see next week have a good week guys bye