Girls Gotta Eat - Animal in the Bedroom feat. Dr. Lisa Lippman & Richie Redding

Episode Date: February 10, 2020

FINALLY we're doing a real pet episode (no shade to our previous "pet episode"). We have veterinarian-to-the-stars Dr. Lisa Lippman and hilarious comic Richie Redding (the couple behind the podcast We Don't Deserve Dogs) join us to tell their very interesting relationship story (meeting on Tinder, one party being sober, many months of dating other people, etc.), and discuss all your burning pet questions. We cover when to get a pet together, who keeps it when you break up, dogs watching during sex, hating someone's pet voice, and more. And we review a recent documentary about a very famous cat person (spoiler alert: Taylor Swift). We hope you enjoy! Follow Lisa on Instagram @DrLisaLippman, Richie @RichieRedding, and their podcast @WeDontDeserveDogs. Follow us @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Rayna @Rayna.Greenberg, and Ashley @AshHess. Check our website for tour dates and merchandise. Thank you to our partners for this episode: Feals: Become a member at feals.com/gge and get 50% off your first order with free shipping. Quip: Go to getquip.com/GGE right now to get your first refill free. Buffy: For $20 off all Buffy bedding, visit buffy.co and enter promo code GGE. HelloFresh: Get 10 free HelloFresh meals + free shipping at hellofresh.com/gge10 + code GGE10. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I don't care what you do for a living. I don't care what you like as long as you do two pugs. One pug, beat it, pal. Want this puss? I need two pugs. Is it two pug pus? Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Happy Valentine's Week.

It's our, I say it's our third Valentine's Day together, but Ashley says it's our second. I mean, I have the receipts. We just discussed what we did. It's your worst quality. It's just like, No one can't anything past you. It's by far your worst quality. It's 43 and cloudy.

It's all I got. I had a cold walk over here. Yesterday was lovely. It was 55 degrees. It's chilly, weirdly, for being in the 40s. It's like that bone chilling 40s. Yeah, but it's not brick. I learned the word brick recently.

Have you ever heard that? It's a New York thing to say it's brick. It means it's cold. I don't know what it comes from. You don't believe in cold snap, but you'll say that shit. I will never say that shit. Big week for us, guys. We have our first billboard.

Times Square Billboard. I'm sorry, I misspoke. We have our first four billboards. I mean, yeah, exactly. There's four of them. Couldn't you just one? Yeah, we go big. Go bigger, go home.

You want one billboard? We'll take four. No, they're all like small. It's still four billboards. Together they make one big, fat billboard. We wanted to tell you guys about it because we're going to go visit it. I mean, I'll probably be there every single day looking at it. Yeah.

But we wanted to tell you guys about it. Casey, you want to go visit it too. It is on 42nd and 7. directly above the Times Square subway. Yeah. So this week, starting today, Monday the 10th, if you're listening, through this Friday, Valentine's Day, 5 to 7 p.m., casual rush hour, go look about that subway station and just wait for it. Five to seven Monday through Friday this week, you will see our big ass faces. I can't believe it.

Every four minutes, it comes up. Oh, okay. The next one. The next four billboards we buy will be static and they won't change. Yeah. But they're so beautiful. We're so proud of them. So if you guys go, tag us in your bio. Tag the shit out of us. All three of us girls got to eat. Podcasts. Raina Duck Greenberg and Ash Hess. We're, we'll probably be there too. So we'll see you there. I'm the wrong party there. Okay. This is our last full week in New York before we're gone for three whole weeks. Is that the longest you've ever been away from New York since you live here? It's my longest I've ever been away from anywhere. Like it's my longest trip. Yeah? Yeah. So I, so we're leaving on the 14th. So just FYI, if you want to know. our Valentine's Day plans. It's, we're on a flight to San Diego.

Separately. Separately. You know, I'll be in first class. Ashley, be in first class. I'll be eating that gourmet meal. I'll be in the middle seat, row 32. Probably the shitter. We, yeah, so we leave the 14th, February 14th, and I return, we both return to New York

on March 8th. So almost a month, have, I've just never taken a trip that long. Like I, I've probably taken a trip. I don't even know. 10 days max. Like I haven't done like a travel The World trip. I think I've done maybe two weeks. Maybe like

even when we went to Italy as a family or something I'm trying to think back. Like I've taken two week trips. That's probably where I've maxed out. I start to get really miserable like day 12, 13. Oh cool, cool. I've done it. Good to know.

I was going to be like not towards the people I'm with but yes, towards the people I'm with. I've done it a bunch of times. The first time I went to Europe. I like went big. I was like, I've never been to Europe. So I did London, Amsterdam, Paris. Rome, Venice, and Florence. I was gone for two and a half weeks. I did it when I went to

Germany and Prague and Lisbon and all over Spain, whatever. I've done it a bunch of times. Yeah, I do start to get really grumpy. So what I'm going to do at the end of our two weeks together is I'm going to go to Bali and like I challenge myself to try to be miserable in Bali. So I bet I could do it. That's why you're not invited. I'll be in Cabo. Yeah, I think I do think I've taken a two-week trip. Like when I went to Paris, we went to Italy. we bounced around. But yeah, this is, it's a long fucking time. Yeah. I got a call coming up Friday with Lily and Charles, who is my Atlanta stylist, stylist, really, remote

stylist, and she is going to help me pack. You're so fancy. Well, she just, she offered, I mean, we work together and stuff like that, and she's changed my life in terms of style. But, yeah, she was like, do you want to get on a Skype call and we can work through how you're going to pack? Because it's, I mean, there's an art to it. I'm stressed out about it.

I'm stressed out about packing for such a long trip. So many climates, so many live shows. I mean, you know, we're with the same two outfits to every live show. Yeah. Well, mostly at least the same. At least summer climate. I mean, maybe LA, we need jackets. But like, if you packed for winter climate for three weeks, what would you do?

Like, I can't even. You put in a jacket and a pair of boots. Your suitcase is full. Well, I like traveling alone because I literally put two stretch pants in and one sweatshirt. That's it. That's the trip look. Like, I don't have to look cute. No one's taking pictures of me.

you bring like two jackets and it just looks like you're always wearing something different. I'm thinking like jean shorts, t-shirts, like some stuff like that little like dress. You like to wear like dresses and stuff. Love dresses. Like you can fold them up in like a teeny tiny little pocket square. Guys, this is a whole episode about packing. Oh my God. We have to, we have to make this short.

We have a great travel episode from Ashley and I recorded. Our first trip together was in Paris. Ashley just like got on a plane and came to Paris with me two years ago. We did this episode about traveling with your significant other. My favorite tip from that episode is that you should take show. in the lobby bathroom. Hot tip alert. Hot shits alert.

Don't shit in the bat. I mean, I don't take that. I shit right next to the bed. Nope. We're thinking of we might revamp it coming up soon and incorporate, like, friends, trips. Like, I think we are overdue for a travel episode that was two years ago. Yeah. So that we might do it from Australia.

We're about to kill each other. We'll just fight the whole episode. You guys will love it. It'll be drama. We'll Skype from different. Like that out of your group. We want to make this intro relatively short. We're already really not doing it.

But we have such a great episode. So coming up with Richie writing and Lisa Lippman, celeb vet, comedian couple. We're talking about their relationship, which is incredible. Like, the beginning is all about their relationship. And then the end of that interview we're talking about. We get into your pet questions. So just a little teaser for what's coming up.

Yeah. I thought they were fantastic. Obviously, we recorded it before this intro. And then do you want to talk about tickets? I mean, last call for L.A. Yeah. Not many left. We're so excited.

And Sydney and Melbourne. and then we have tickets left in Houston, Dallas, Philly, Night 2, maybe a few left, Tampa, Night 2, Miami, Vancouver, Seattle, Portland. San Francisco. Killed it. There it is. At I literally don't care shows.com. Thank you to the girl who said a set a little of Christmas.

I know that you literally don't care and now you own the URL. You've texted me this morning. and you were like, Chris O's up and O and I was so mad at you. We're talking all last night. I go, I literally don't care. I was like, oh, wow. But you knew I was kidding, right? I wrote JK, JK.

Yeah, you wouldn't have, nobody, you know what I'd say that seriously except for that girl on Christmas. We got to talk about her every episode. I'm going to talk about Christy Steffano in our episode, too. Okay. We're a family. Do you want to talk first? Do you want to talk about Taylor Swift or J-Lo?

Okay. I just, I'm, it's been a big week, by the way. Like, for music, like, every, every, every, um, exercise class I've done. they are just playing Taylor Swift and J-Lo. Like, we are in a Taylor Swift J-Lo moment. I gotta tell you something. I'm on the phone with my dad last night. It's midnight.

He's like, I'm watching these clips on YouTube. I'm like, first of all, how did you even learn what YouTube was? And he's like, do you know this Shakira woman? And I'm like, I'm sorry, what, dad? And he's like, I mean, Ray, I mean, the stuff she's able to do with her butt. My 73-year-old dad, I'm like, what? He was like, I mean, her breasts, too. It's the stuff she's doing with her butt and her body is crazy.

I'm like, I'm like, Dad, Dad, She's Latin. And he was like, I never knew about her. I mean, she's on the stage of the Super Bowl. And, like, I've never heard of her. And I was like, she's the biggest megastar in the world. Right. She's performing with Jalo.

Jailo co-headlined with her. Right. He's like, I never knew about this, but he couldn't stop saying stuff. He didn't know Shakira, Shakira? I literally said Shakira. My dad's like, that doesn't write about it. You're like, dad, her hips don't lie. I never really know that you could talk like this.

It's so uncomfortable for me to have my old-ass dad. She does with her butt and her breasts. I'm like, I can't talk to Arlen about this. I can't talk about this. Yeah. Well, I mean, again, just we're plugging J-Lo. 50 years old. It's an incredible Super Bowl halftime show.

Do you think more people signed up for the gym on January 1st or on the day after the Super Bowl? I know. I remember a time when I was younger. So I think I was in high school. I think I was in high school. And Britney Spears's MTV VMA performance where she, not slave for you with the snake, but the,

I can't get no satisfaction. And she ripped it off and she had the nude sequin, like, naked outfit. And I mean, I just got on the floor and started doing crunches. Like, I was like, her body at that time was like what made me, I mean, simultaneously hate myself, but also want to, like, go to the gym as a high schooler. I mean, I played sports, but like,

also just, I don't know, whatever. People need to realize that those people are famous, rich celebrities that their whole job is to look like that. Well, yeah, also they have, they've hired like a team from NASA to make their, bodies look like that. Like the Kardashians, their bodies aren't real. Like, J-Lody's body. Well, J-Lo's, nobody has no sight of it. Because she was like the original booty. Like her butt's real. It's not, it doesn't look stupid big. She also has been a dancer

since like in living colors and she was like, yeah. But I just, J-Lo and Beyonce, like, their bodies look like natural. Whether they are or not, who's to say that you Kim Kardashian, Chloe, it's not natural. So you look at these natural photos of J-Lo or she doesn't look like that person. Right. Like you look at, do you look at Jail and Beyonce? I think they have a similar body type to me. Like, little bigger, bigger thighs and then they have a butt. And it's just like, that's naturally like that.

Who knows, maybe that has small enhancements. But like, that's why it's just so silly to me that people go so far to get this like Chloe, Kylie, Kim look that looks ridiculous. I'm ready. Anyway, I want to tell last week about body confidence. I want to talk about the Super Bowl, though. Best night of my life. Was it?

I had so much fun. You can talk about how great my party was. Go ahead. Your party was the most fun. It was so fun. People, like, Andrew Collin and I, the next day, we were like, I said, I was like, I just want to live in Raina's party. And he was like, let's just all move into a house and never post about it.

It was, because it's, the beautiful thing, like, not to get too emotional, is that all of our friends have become friends. Like, even our, like, deep cut friends. Like, we have the comedian friends, like, Hannah, Remy, Andrew, all those people. And then we have, like, my dog park friends. And then we have Robin Allison. And then we have all your, like, food. friends and like lifelong friends and like everybody just has come together. Yeah. It makes you

and really like everybody left that party and was like that was the best time. I know. I just every inch of the apartment was covered in food. I had every type of alcohol you could ever have. And like I also feel like I'm in an age where like if you volunteer to be the person to have the party, then like you, not everybody wants to do this, but like I like to go to the party supply store. I like to go to the liquor store. I don't want people to feel like they have to stock the party. Like I think at my age, you volunteered to have a party. You pay for stuff. stuff. Right. So like I just wanted everybody to be comfortable. I'd every type of liquor you could ever imagine. I'd food everywhere. I made double the amount of food so that no matter where you

were, there was dips. Yeah, you really flex those culinary skills. Because, you know, Raina's always like, I went to culinary school and like the first year of our friendship. I was like, did you though? I've ever seen you cook some one thing. And like when you get, when you do it, you do it. When you do it, when you do it. I made a whole pulled pork, coleslaw. I just, I was so hung over. I thought I was going to die. But yeah, it was really fun. I don't even do, I don't even know how you even remember the party. because you didn't talk to anybody. You stood in the corner with that guy, which I'll let you explain for the whole party.

Every time I... Whatever, I sat on the floor with a man for the entire party too. So it's not like I got up or... Do you know the amount of people that responded to my Instagram story were not even facing the TV? I'm like, I'm facing a 6'7 man. Well, I was sitting in your bedroom on the floor of the dark for like the first 30 minutes.

Like trying to get the episode done. You, every time I looked up for hours, you were just only talking to one person. I mean, how you knew that a party was going on. I mean, look, I kind of brought a date. But we talked to, like, there was kind of a separation because, like, you kind of, this room has to kind of be split, like, one half the TV, the other half of the TV. So there was like definitely a bunch of people on the couches. And then there was kind of like another side. So I feel like I talked to that side of the room. Like, I remember I like talked a lot to Bobby and Izzy and Rob and Allison. Allison was split. And like, Merrill and things like that. I just didn't really get over to you till my date had to leave. Then you were fully a part of the party. And then I was like, she's back. I was looking at some videos from later on the night and I was like,

oh, Ashley did participate. Yeah, I got kind of drunk. It was fun. Yeah. I've just sort of been hanging out this guy. That's all I'm going to say. Good. I'm glad to acknowledge it.

You don't know anybody anything besides that. Well, you know what I was thinking about? I do, I guess I'll make this statement out. I do think that we owe people, I do think that we owe it to people to tell them what's going on in romantic lives. I think that you guys will always find out what is going on. It may just not be in real. time. You know what I mean? Like I think that we update what's going on. You know that there's

somebody, if there is somebody, and then maybe you find out what's really going on when the relationship hits a certain point or it's over. You know what I mean? Like I think that people ask us that. Like, do you feel like you owe people details about your personal life? It's like kind yeah. Like we're welcome to not share it and you're welcome to stop listening because that's what you're interested in. You know what I mean? Like I just think that I never want to be like secretive. But I think at the beginning of hanging out with somebody that we like, there's no need to just share detail after detail. Well, I think all the time about like, well, how would this person feel being on a show that,

I mean, millions of people listen to? Like, how would you feel about being disgust in this way? Do I provide identifying details? Like, if their friends listened and their co-workers, like, would somebody listen and be like, that's a crazy way to describe what's going on? Like, I think about that a lot. We talked about it when we did that episode, you're not the one. And I was saying, like, him and I had stopped talking weeks ago.

And I really wanted to come to a place where, like, I felt better talking about it, where I was, like, clear and not mad and not jealous, and I felt fine. And I think that it takes time to get to that place. Yeah. I just think that, like, we think about this more and more every day, like, as, like, the podcast grows and people want to kind of dig into our personal life a little bit more. Not everybody, but some people just are nosy. I get it.

I'm nosy, too. But, you know, I think that the listeners will always know what's going on at some point. It might not just be weak by way. week by week update. Yeah. So anyway. Yeah. So we're hanging out with somebody.

That's all I got right now. Stay tuned. Yeah. When he does something great or something terrible, we'll let you know. But anyway, this is a big week for me. Because you finally watched the Taylor Swift documentary and I watched it last week. And I really wanted to talk about it because I think it relates so much to what we do and just how women feel in general.

And I think that a lot of people watch it or didn't watch it and thought, like I don't like her. I don't care about what she has to say. Like a lot of people have like sort of a negative or a neutral take on her as a person, not her as an artist. Yeah. And I watched it with an open mind and it really helped me to understand like because you do sort of like for a long time not know like where she stood politically or on anything.

You're just like this is just this nice girl. She has all these models. And it really helped me to like understand the psyche of somebody who like achieves this level of fame. It's 16 years old. And like what the trajectory looks like for your life for the next 15. years. Yeah, and of course you guys have to know by now, but sorry, that sounded so

judgy, but you should. It's called Miss Americana, and it's on Netflix. Anyway, Taylor Swift documentary. Just a quick synopsis of my history with Taylor Swift, I started loving her music with 1989. 1989 is my favorite album. I feel like that is, I love

every album since. 1989, in the reputation and lover. Like, I love all three of them. But before that, I liked her music, but I never really listened to an album in full. I liked when she switched into that hard or hitting pop R&B beats. I mean, let's not forget Kendrick was on bad blood.

You know what I mean? Like she pivoted, especially after the Kanye shit. Yeah. So, but I just felt like as a person when I would watch her accept awards and I would watch her like awkwardly dancing in the front of the Grammys

and I just felt like when I would see her, she felt disingenuous to me. And I think that's what people couldn't put their finger on but that they didn't like her. It's the same reason why people don't like Anne Hathaway. You feel like something is off here

and you feel like she's not being genuine. And I think when you watch the documentary, you realize it kind of, was because she was trying to play a role because she got famous at 13 or whatever. Like she started being in the spotlight. And so she had to just like, she, we watched her grow into who she is. And I think watching her all throughout her 20s, she didn't know who she was. So I think it came across. And I was like, I just feel like I don't like this person. I wasn't super hater on the internet by any stretch. But I was like, I just feel like I don't really like her.

I like her music, but I'm not like a big T. Swift fan. I've also changed over the past few years of how I felt about her when she got her political voice and all these things. But like, I think you realize it's because she was just trying to please everybody. Yes. And I think that very much that's what I related to in terms of me and you. And then, you know, I can always, I always want to like make this relatable to everybody. But like, she talks a lot about how like every, it's, it takes a real emotional toll on you when all of your self-worth professionally is derived from the validation of strangers. And that's very much what you and I do. I mean, everything is based on how how people, total strangers, think about us and talk about us.

And I think all the time about the way that I say something to my friends versus how I want to be perceived on this podcast and how are people going to understand it. And I want to be me and you and I will never not be us. But like how much us are we allowed to be? You know, how ridiculous can I be? How silly? How outside the box? And I feel like it almost like gave me more permission to like be more political.

You're much more political openly than I am. I just felt like, you know, it really enforced it. Like we have a voice and I want to use it. And I want to. I'm not, I don't think you and I are ever worried what other people think about us. But, you know, I think it's important to stand on one side of history and have a voice and use it. And if people don't like it, like, that's fine. I think the same reason why people hate you will be the same reason that people love you.

And that's okay. Right. But also, you and I started this in our 30s. You know, I've done other stuff where I've been in like the spotlight. But like in any sort of like fame realm for me and you, it has been because of the podcast and we're like well into our 30s. Like that started of her and her teens. which is so crazy. And I think that people

wanted to jump down her throat for every little thing she did. And like, why didn't people, they didn't act like that with Justin Bieber. I think people don't cut women the same slack that they cut men. Like, Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber are the same. Like, you compare them in terms of when they got famous

and they're like rise to fame. And she's clearly much more famous in terms of her being able to sell at arenas and everything. Like, she just is. She's like a Beyonce level superstar. We all know that. I personally think she's the Beyonce of songwriting.

I think she's an incredible talent, like a legendary talent. for writing all her own songs. But like, it's just people just like keep forgiving Justin Bieber and people just like, I mean, people want to cancel them here and there. But I just feel like people wanted, they just didn't allow her some of the same, it never stunned it or growth. But like, I think people let men make all these messy mistakes and live a messier life. And women, they just have them under such a microscope. And I think that documentary showed a lot of that. Absolutely. And like all the insecurities and all the decisions she was afraid to make also, like I, I feel very

fortunate that you and I have reached a level of notoriety at an age where I'm, it's never going to feel good when people on the internet say terrible things about me. I'm never going to enjoy it. I'm not going to like reading our iTunes reviews. I don't look at them. It hurts my feelings. But I'm glad that we're at an age where at least we have the emotional capacity to make decisions that are healthy for us and also stand by those decisions.

So if I decide to like come out against the president, which like I'll do every day of my life, I'm very confident standing by those decisions. And there's not 10 people in the room with me and you saying maybe don't do that. this is a bad idea, you know? 100%. And, like, just to bring it back to J-Lo, since this is the J-Lo and Taylor Swift intro, she is, I'll post this on our story.

I love this interview with her. I've watched a couple times of her, like realizing she can't listen to critics because she was like, there was a point in my life where I was on top of the world and I had a number one album, a number one movie, number one single, like all these things. And everybody in the internet was like,

well, J-Lo can't act. Well, she can't sing. Well, all she can do is dance, you know? And she was like, I realized that it was like the height of my career and everybody still wanted to tear me down. and she was like, it took a long time to just like stop listening to people. And you and I talked about that at length

on the first episode of the year of like just not listening to the critics and stuff like that. But the political stuff was obviously the most, first of all, the Kanye stuff, it just enraged me because I kind of think we laughed that off and we didn't realize how fucked up it was for that man to come on stage

and take this microphone away from this teenage girl. But whatever, the stuff that was the most poignant to me was that political stuff of like, you realize why she wasn't able to speak out for so long. They were like, it'll ruin your career. It'll like Dixie Chicks your career. And for this, country singer who had the Dixie Chicks held in such regard.

She was like, it'll ruin my career. And then I was like, how did that happen to the Dixie Chicks? Like, what a different time. Like, we all talk shit on the president now. Like, the fact that that, like, did actually kind of ruin their career is crazy to me. It was, like, such a, like, flippant comment. And then, like, the guys in Fox News were, like, these women deserve to get smacked around. Like, what was it the 90s?

It was before, it was about George Bush. If you guys don't know what we're talking about the, the Dixie just made some flippant one-off comment about George Bush. She said I'm embarrassed from Texas. Yes. And then they were on the cover of everything, just being panned and destroyed. And the thing that I think is really nice about today is that you and I, and anybody that's in a position of like where people listen to them talk, like, we can

control our own narrative. There's podcasts, there's social media, there's YouTube, like direct access to your fans. Yes. And they didn't have that. True. And I think that like... The media control their narrative. Yeah. It just excites me that like you and I can have this voice and we control it. And like it just inspired me to, to just be more open and honest even more than we ever have been because I think that we are very much ourselves. But, you know, I just don't want to hold back the things that I think about.

And maybe that will make a couple of people not listen to us here and there. But like I'm just, you know, I'm proud to be able to like have a voice. And I took a lot from that documentary. Yeah, I took a lot from her too. I really, a lot of it spoke to me. And I just, I love it. I've always respected her as an artist. But I think you finally got to know her a little bit.

Because I think I always just was like, who is this girl? all her friends are models. And I think who knows if those were even her real friends. You know, I think like her best friend is like, Todrick Hall is like a gay man. You know what I mean? I think that she's finally like realizing who she is at 30, which I think has happened to a lot of people. And I think it's like such a beautiful thing. It was like

a really special thing to watch. I'm glad you said because we are going to do an episode very shortly about what we were like in our 20s and about just like, sort of just like figuring out your life professionally, your love life, your career and whatever you're doing and you know, like what we were like in our 20s and in college

and things like that. And we'll have that out soon. Like you guys always ask us, like, what would you give advice to your 20-something-year-old self? So that's coming soon. Stay tuned. It may or may not be this week.

Is that all we had to talk about? That's it. Live shows, Super Bowl party, Taylor Swift, you got a new man. Girl, I do not even, don't go there. We're not making claims. I said it.

She didn't. We're not making claims like that. And, yeah, we got your pet episode, guys. You know, we tried to do one a long time ago with Andrew Collin and it went off the rail. So we are here really doing it this time. Really doing it. Okay.

Well, we are really excited. We have a couple today in the house studio with us and Dewey. So I'm going to introduce them. Then they're going to introduce themselves. We have Richie Redding. He's a comedian. He tours with Kat Williams. Maybe you've heard of him.

We also have his girlfriend, Dr. Lisa Lipman. She is a celebrity veterinarian. So obviously we're talking about pets today. She is the veterinarian to a ton of Instagram influencers, The Daily Show, Mariah Carey. Dewey and Dewey. The most important celebrity in New York City.

So please welcome to the house studio with us and Dewey, Richie, and Lisa. Thanks for being you guys. And I forgot to mention that together, you guys have a great podcast called We Don't Deserve Dogs. And Ashley's been on it. We're going to talk about it a little more.

That Ashley named me. I named it. I told Lisa like, hey girl. Yeah. You want my real feedback? You're going to do a rebrand. Yeah, exactly. And I was like, I am here for it.

Actually, we were thinking of doing a rebrand anyway. and then you were just like, we don't deserve dogs. It just like came, it was like magic. And it's been magic ever since. It's so great. Can't thank you guys enough. Yeah. Good looking out.

We're glad to have you guys. We've been trying to do a pet episode for two years. Andrew Colin came on to do it with us because he was a dog walker. We talked not about pets at all. Right. So if you really... Worst dog walker. Let's somebody lose your dog. That's your guy.

Yeah, if you guys aren't familiar, we early on, I wanted to do a pet episode because there's a lot of relationship topics tied to to pets. So we were like, Andrew Colin, he'll be funny. Raina didn't know him. He was a friend of mine from comedy. And we had him come on. He was like, you know, I don't really know anything about dog.

Yeah. And so this episode, we talked about a cat dying on the pet episode. You know, like it went off the rails. It was a hysterical episode. But ever since I've been trying to convince Raina to do this because she doesn't care. She doesn't have a pet. So I was just like, I'm nothing to get true. But I have dated guys with pets, which I think that like a lot of people have.

And like, we'll talk about like if your partner like prioritizes an animal over you. Yeah, tons have watched you fuck. Like you're the same height as a dog. Absolutely. Yeah. Like a big one. I think she cares. I think once we get her,

her little shed-free travel white puppy. Right? Because you weren't a dog. My starter dog. Right. Your starter dog because you weren't a dog person, right? Until you had Dewey so much. Exactly.

I was like, I don't even like them. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I mean, it's like having children. I mean, I assume I would like my own, but I'm different. And then Dewey started busting through walls. Yeah, busts through the windows. Yeah.

So if you guys want, some of people, I get DMs every once in a while. Like, can you please do a full episode. on Dewey. We're not going to do that, but there is one on we don't deserve dogs. I would come back for that, though. But no, go listen to the podcast. That's right.

Yeah. But we want to hear about your relationship. I want to hear Richie's end of being coerced into this relationship. And then I want to hear about the cat show and I want to hear about all these things. I mean, should we like separate into two separate rooms so you can get like the his and her account? Don't look at Richie while he's talking. Whittle it down?

Well, no, we are a, we are a Tinder fail right here. Okay. Yeah. You seem like you're together though. I know, but like... Like what? You seem like you're together, like as a couple. Super.

Okay. So that's what he means. Like, you know, Tinder's for like, was for like hooking up and stuff and we failed. Yeah, we were trying to smash, but here we are, five and a half some years later. That's what I was just going to ask.

Okay, so you guys were together over five years. Yeah. So crazy that... Took us seven months to commit. We want to hear about that. Okay. That's the fun part. That's the smash him.

Yeah. Yeah. So Lisa was actually the first person that I matched with on Tinder ever. But not your last. Not my last. Wow. Happy Valentine's Day week, guys. Maybe you should be in different rooms.

Oh, yeah. No, we are the Valentine's Day episode. The story of how we really got together, how we really made it a fish is special. Yeah. So, well, okay, I do say all the time that the reason that we lasted was because we got to know each other first before hooking up by accident

because she was in the middle of like her hell two weeks of an internship so we didn't meet up until like it was like two weeks of phone game and we both had pretty strong phone game so like kind of knew it was on by the time that we by the time we actually met up

and she immediately as soon as we sat down for drinks threw her drink on my lap just pulled some dirt bag shit of like oh my god look at you're all wet just right on the crotch just right on the crotch date one yeah oh my goodness you got to feel around see what's going on in there yeah I love it out of his pants she even throw it in him you just you knocked it I did she set it up real subtle but she

whinesteined me man yeah for sure and let's add to the fact that he's sober 11 years yeah oh I didn't know okay so at the time I was sober for like six years and she figured it out because I would always steer dates, first dates, because they're cheap and you don't have to confront and not drinking. I would steer towards coffee dates. And I said it, she's like, you don't drink, do you? Like, fuck. Do you try to hide it a little bit at first?

I mean, I wouldn't, not to hide it. It's on your bio. I found it on his, I mean, I did proper stocking. Yeah, I didn't put it like out there first, you know. No, so I remember the conversation was I said, you don't drink to you. And he said, well, that's usually an awkward conversation where you drink your wine and I blow bubbles into my chocolate milk. Yeah. So that was, but so I was like, I'm not going to drink.

Like, and he was like, don't make it awkward. Just get a drink. It's fine. And I was like, great, because I don't know how to do a date, like, sober. So I got, yeah, right? It's really weird. So, um, so I got the drink and spilt. Yeah.

And dating sober is a whole different thing. Yeah. Like, I can't tell you. I didn't even realize this. We should have talked about this. I can't tell you how many girls showed up. But we're like, we would meet up and they're already slurring their words hammered. Oh.

And like, it's like, so this is great. Wait, that's so funny. I can't believe that. Yeah, an alcoholic drink all over in. So I couldn't have felt, and it was like on one of those couches that had like the divots in them. So it was just like pulling up everywhere. It wasn't like a little bit of drink.

It was a shit. It was a couch. Like alcohol, even sober. Yeah. It was a couch made out of dimples. Did you wring your pants out in your mouth after the day? Not in my mouth. Oh my gosh.

Okay. So then. Did we go back to my place? Yeah, yeah. Day one? Yeah, we dried those pants off. Yeah, I have no, I have, I have no qualms if you listen to our podcast also. I mean, I have, I have no qualms about, I was definitely not, he was definitely not my first or my last date on Tinder.

No, I loved dating. I would do like two or three dates in a day. I would. She went on another date after we met. I love boys. That night? And I love dating. That day.

After you wrung out your pants in her mouth. She's a dirtbag. Probably. You double book? I think I did. Buddy. I did. She found the end of Tinder.

Yeah. In fucking Manhattan, she would swipe so much as like, come back in an hour. We're out of dudes. Which is crazy in Manhattan. A million men, you just ran through a mall. Yeah, I would say, like, you've reached the end. Like, you have to give it a few hours. In Montana, maybe.

Yeah. But, like, in New York. But what makes me feel special is I know that she didn't settle on me. Like, she went through all the dicks in Manhattan. You know, I think that's a really interesting way to look at it. Because, like, we talk about, like, should you ever tell your part of how many people you slept with? how many people you date. And like, if you're with somebody who's being with, like, a ton of people,

it's sort of like, it's sort of like gratifying that that person has shopped around to everybody. Yeah. Yeah. You really know what they want. Are the one. Really the one. Or just like nothing worked out and they're like fine. Yeah.

Right. The one they settled for. I'm not self-conscious. Right. I'm not self-conscious about it. And like, like, I mean, just if you listen to my comedy, you're going to hear a lot of stories about like, you know, past, well, I mean, before you. It was like past hookups and stuff.

So, like, fair is fair. But I did, there was definitely moments that I wanted to, like, talk to the doorman. I'm like, so, bro, what am I get myself into here? That is so funny. The doorman knows all my secrets. Dude, the doorman know. I came home with a guy the other night. I walked in the front door.

My doormand looks to me and goes, ma'am, can I help you? Didn't know who I was. Because I never get home that late. It was 2 o'clock in the morning. I never go home late. So I don't know the middle of the night guy. And so I walked in with a dude, like, trying to flex. Like, look at me in my big apartment dormant building.

And the guy was like, you don't love here. You got carded. Exactly. So you guys were not official for a long time. No. We're still dating other people. But also, I will say that, well, yes, we should definitely get back to that. But also on the Tinder profile, behind this hot babe, it was like, is that a Rhodesian

Ridgeback? And I saw Chloe on the Tinder Prove. Got it. And I've always wanted a Rhodesian Ridgeback. and then I will say that it was quite intimidating trying to dry out my pants with a 75-pound dog trying to get those pants wet again. At the teen height.

Yeah. So you went back to your place where Chloe lives. Yeah, right. What was the studio at the time, 400 square foot studio. And she was very interested in what was going on. Very. How small are you?

Five, one and a half on a warm day. And you have like a dog that big. Yeah. I love you. That's so savage. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't mess around when it comes to, you know, the dogs.

And you guys hooked up night one? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Before Lisa's next date. But we didn't know each other for two weeks. Yes. I like that you guys were like talking on the phone.

Yeah. Like, that's people, that's pretty rare these days that you would meet someone on an app and then spend two weeks talking to the phone with them. That's not the thing that I feel like is happening that much. My phone game is way stronger than my in person game. Yeah, he called me right away. I just thought that was, I liked that. And cute story.

We were talking about the, what, the alchemist a lot? Right? And when we first met, he said, oh, I'm like, I've never read The Alchemist. He was like, I'll bring you the book. He brought me the book and he's like, open the cover. And inside of it was a little stick-it note that said, I want the ship back. I love that. It's pretty funny. It's so funny. And then that's not how it ended at all. It was not it from there. There was seven months of, yeah, I want to hear about this. Okay, so we were in a not-a-relationship. Okay, and we had the conversation, not a relationship.

It's like seven months later. But also I think that in an undefined not a relationship, there's two different, or many different interpretations of that. Right. And we had different ones. Okay. This is what I really want to get into. Yeah. This is the uncomfortable part.

So I felt justified in being in the kind of not a relationship that I was running because Lisa was at the gym one day and she had her old. phone still worked and it just started buzzing off the hook and it was like other dudes that she was still texting with. So I saw all of her game going down. It was like, oh, well, I'm perfectly justified here. Right. That might have been true. Yeah. How much over these seven months are you like seeing each other talking, sleeping together, dating? A lot. A lot. We were pretty much like a lot. We were talking daily. We were talking daily. We were probably together three nights a week. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. It was a lot. It was It was a lot. But we just couldn't commit.

But also, but also, also keep in mind, alcoholics and addicts overdo everything. Okay. So I was in overdoing it mode at the time.

But, but also, you know, like I said, she was talking to other dudes and also hilariously open about Tinder. We were on a date,

like a month in, and she just like stopped in her tracks for walking down. She like surreptitiously checked her phone and then she's like, you got to see this. And she shows me a message from some guy on Tinder that the first... No, I think this was after the fact. I don't think I did that. But anyway. We were crossing your street. It was an old message. Anyway, it's good message.

And the message, first contact from this fucking maniac, all it said was, but stuff or nap? Oh my gosh. And you guys are like dating. Yeah, but you're like, it's a crazy app. But stuff or nap? To this day, that guy's my hero. really use the app, but like, look at this, this is funny. Like, it wasn't like, oh, I'm like still trolling for dudes. But if you were to go out with a guy, like, would it have bothered you?

Like, I'm so fast. We didn't talk about it. I mean, don't ask, don't tell. Right. But I knew, like, I knew he was dating other girls. So the way that the relationship actually happened was... Is this the cat show? Yeah.

I've been dying for this whole story. So when Richie was on tour with Cat Williams and, like, doing, like, fancy, amazing shows. Oh my God, this whole time I thought you met, like, an act. actual feline cat like a cat william oh i did oh this is the cat william show wait i'm just putting this together i thought i thought there was an actual cat i thought this was like westminster for me too oh my god wait i really thought richard you saw me met in a cat like prize show you know i tour with cat i know i'm sorry i wasn't putting it together rich in the introduction you think i was participating in a line pageant of some sort.

I thought this was the Westminster cat show. I legitimately did. Yeah, I was doing color commentary on it. You were a pet lover and I thought you brought some other girl to a cat show. But also, I don't give a fuck about a cat. Guys, I'm so dead.

Okay, so a Cat Williams show. I don't even want to hear the story now. I don't even care now. I wanted to know about what the prizes were in an actual cat show. I don't care about that. I want to hear about that. Yeah.

comedy show with 12,000 people at it. All right. Or whatever. You guys met at a comedy show like everybody else. Okay, get one. We'll make it quick. So, yeah, so basically what happened? So there was two shows. And like, I wasn't on this tour yet officially.

And it was like the second year that I would wind up touring with them. And there was one in Brooklyn and one in Atlantic City. And Lisa came to the one in Brooklyn. Mm-hmm. and she got pretty drunk with Matt Richards. And that night he pulls me aside. He's like, yo man, she told me not to tell you, but she loves you. I was like, what?

I don't know. I was young and drunk. I'm not the same person. Five years ago. Five years ago. So, yeah, so she got. Wait, this is so funny that your boy was like, dude, guess what? Yeah.

She loves you, though. Bad news, dude. You're going to want to sit down for this. Cancer? Nope, worse. The chick loves you do. You've got to run. This is so funny.

Yeah. So that show was at that point, the Brooklyn show was the best show I ever had in my life. It was crazy. It was at Barclays. Yeah. It wasn't a small. It was like $20 million. It was incredible.

Three people bombed in a row, and I have a lot of experience in bad black shows and knew how to turn it around and turn it around. You're incredible. And, like, you don't look at you and think that you crush it with a black audience, but, like, you are really impressive. So I just have to give you props. Thank you. So at any rate, so that information all hits me. I think it's Saturday. And then Sunday, there's another show planned.

In Atlantic City. I may have been in a not a relationship with someone else also. I don't know Lisa loved you? Yeah, he had already invited her to the show. How long were you not dating your other girlfriend? And I also knew about her. I did, I actually knew about her for a while. You're in a thruple. Okay.

No. Although, although, although, although. It's more of a Mexican standoff than it is a thruple. Although we have been watching sister wives and I have to say it doesn't look like a really bad set of. That's what I'm sure. But you're freak. I can tell, okay. You're into butt stuff and all kinds of stuff and all kinds of stuff.

I can just tell, okay. I knew it. But stuff, yes. But so... I can tell from your front that your butt likes to get penetrated. Also, they do a great impression of a dog fart. If anybody wants to hear it.

Richie, just... That's because they don't have butt cheeks. They don't have butchies. Dogs don't have butt cheeks. They're all silent. They're all silent. Okay, this is a great story. So I knew about her because I was like watching his page and she...

Sure. So he had already invited her. A woman that's smart. Yeah, I knew what was happening. And I was like, how much do I care? Like, what's happening? What do I want to stop? What I'm doing?

But you love to. I decided I loved him when I was drunk at a Cat-William show. I mean, in front of 20,000 people. A cat show. Don't. It's just a cat show. How long did the other girl been in the picture? A couple, two, three months.

The thing is, she lived in Philadelphia. She was far away. By that I mean, seven. I always knew, like, when he went and what was happening. And when he had the Atlantic City show, I know he had invited her. It was probably like a while ago before we got a little more serious. And he actually. And he actually...

You knew? Probably just even... Women always know. Actually, yeah, I knew. She was like tagging you. You would a girl in Philly. You have a show in Atlantic City. Like, of course.

Yeah. She probably liked your Instagram pose. So, yeah. She tagged... She tagged... And then she tagged him at the show. Like, thanks for Ritchie Redding for like the passes for cat show, whatever. Oh, yeah.

It was a... I saw the picture hit that night. It was like, ask you to be bad for business. That's a tough picture. And it was her with cat. And, yeah. Like backstage, clearly. So I, but he came back to me that night.

He didn't stay in Atlantic City. He didn't stay with her. So he invited her to the show, realized that he loved me more and came, actually left the show and came to me. So I knew like, like, not probably like not much more exciting was going on. But I still didn't say anything. I wasn't really ready. And then like a week later, I went to.

No, next day. Oh, was it the next day? Oh, yeah. It might be the next day. I just, I decided I was mad about it and I didn't want to do it anymore. So I basically went to him and I was like, are you dating Jennifer? Bebe. Yeah.

And so he was, and he didn't, to his credit, he was like, yes. And I was like, I don't want to do this anymore. I'm done. And I walked out. And it was then. So, so the timing of it was like comical that I had basically like, that thing had run it's coarse and I realized I had feelings for Lisa and all that stuff. But then the post hits. And you're about to give me a note that said, do you want to be my girlfriend's circle yes or

now? Yeah. Yeah. I had a sixth grade note all set up for. Yeah. So like she takes off. I kind of like run after her. She's just like fuck you by. And then it was like a full day of no contact. and like it just turned into a full-on like John Hughes movie and and she was balls deep in a bottle of Xanax so I got so like I realized it was like oh fuck I mean I'm not going to tell her but I love her too and so I had my roommate it was snowing out and I had my roommate take a picture of me holding the Bose mini speaker over my head out in the snow. Like the high fidelity. No, say anything.

I made the say anything picture. Say anything where he'll. Yeah, so I made a meme that just said, Lisa, take me back. And she doesn't get back to me for like another like 36 hours. Oh, wow. And all it said was, you know, she didn't take him back after that in the movie.

That's what you wrote out? Yeah. It's like, I did not realize that. I thought that was the clincher, dude. So the story about my parents is that my mom was dating my dad and was falling in love with him, didn't realize or didn't think that they were dating other people. My mom was like such a smoke. Like she, at the beginning of dating my dad, she was dating other people.

And then I think she was like, I am falling for this guy. And all the other guys kind of fell by the waist side. And the story is that she, they were like getting ready. It was like Friday night. My dad was like in the shower. she remember being like, hey, what do you want to do this weekend? You know? And he was like, uh, I got to go up to Connecticut.

And my mom was like, what? And it was because he had to break up with his girlfriend up there. So he had another girlfriend too. And then he realized he was falling for my mom and had to go basically break it off with this other girlfriend. So the thing about your story that I feel like is so funny is that it's so typical of men and women that like Lisa got to this breaking point because of this information at the exact same time that you realized you like wanted to commit to her.

Like in the same night, she was like, I'm fucking done. And you were like, I want to be with her. the same cat show. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. The same feline pageant. That just reminds me, though, the shower just reminded me of the time, though, that I told you that I loved you by accident. That happened, like, two months into the relationship.

To be fair, I was inside of you. Were you having sex? No, no. We were in the shower. I think he was like, no. No, and I don't do that. No. Okay, I do. Listen, it's very real. I told the guy this summer that I was sleeping with him. I told him in the middle of sex. I meant to say I love it. I said, I love you. I did it again with the guy this fall. I said, I love you. I love it. And neither of them acknowledged

it. They just kept fucking me. So thank you to both of them for not ever saying anything because I die. That oxytocin's a bitch, man. Girls can't handle that shit. Oxytocin is true. I was going to say it's kind of like how Ash, I adore that she cries at everything. I love it. I cry. Yeah, I love it. I love it. Good dick at the prison. I'll say anything. So, so to get back to

to it. No, you were washing my hair and I was like, oh, I love you. And it was like total accident. He was like, uh, he just like looked around like, like, uh, that's awkward. But so he made it like funny and awkward and I was like, oh, you know what I meant. Like, whatever. But yeah. What do you mean? Like, were you like that slipped out or did you really? It slipped out. I think I was just like, you like, you tell fun. Like, oh my God, I love you. Like, thank you for doing this. Like I like, a figure of speech. But she also didn't know that Matt told me like a month before. I don't. I don't remember the timing. But anyway. So, yeah, of course you don't remember. You're blacked out.

But, uh, so. I just love that she's like a blacked out truck and you're sober. And It's just like, that's funny. No, she's not. She like doesn't really drink. I really barely. That's the thing. It's like, it's a rarity. It was hard to date.

It was hard to go on a date sober. Right, yeah. It's hard to date sober. I mean, I can't even imagine it. I really can't bathe them. Obviously it wasn't a problem for Richie. Props to people. At any rate, to get back to our narrative.

So we, it's like, you know, 36 hours. And then she finally gets back to me and says that. And that kind of like starts the dialogue back again. And it was like, all right, well, we need to talk. Let's let's go on a date. and she showed up to this date at least three Xanax on board. Two sheets to the wind?

No, I don't know. Bab, you were gazed. You were fucking gazed. She was upset. I was upset. Thank you. I really don't do that anymore. I was young.

I mean, I feel like I've grew. I'm so much younger than I can't even like fathom doing that stuff now. But yes. Okay. So we wind up, it was like, well, you know, I only want to be with you. I only want to be with you. So we did mutual destruction same time. We both pulled up.

Tinder and we put our phones on the table. And like instead of like the honeymoon thing where you like give each other the champagne, it was just like three, two, one, boom, Tinder's gone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because this was, I mean, that was pretty much the only happened in the game at that point.

Yeah. We like to tell people we met on Craigslist. We once, he was open for Jim Norton and he asked how we met and he taught me to say the abortion clinic. And without missing a beat though, Jim goes, well, at least know you both don't want kids. Oh, my God. I know. That's not a person you're ever going to face with a comment like that.

He gets on stage and talks about fucking transvest diet. Exactly. I just knew that that would be up his alley. But he didn't miss a beat. So, yeah. So that's our words and story. Yeah, I love this. The end.

And the show, our show kind of came about because, like, she quickly was becoming the vet to all my comic friends. And, I mean, you know, most comics are broke. So it would be like, hey, can I talk to Lisa? Just like, just trying to figure out what they needed to do. But it was a lot of stuff like Alex Pavone was dog sitting for somebody. He was like, so if there was like five weed gummy bears when I left the house and I can only find one of them now. And it's an eight-pound Yorkie. He killed the dog.

What should I do? And ladies, if you're listening, the answer to that question is always, take the other gummy bear. Just fucking ride it out. Be on the same level. Yeah. With your dog. High with your dog.

Connect. Lisa, when you were dating, because I mean, I can obviously ask for you this too, but I just feel like as like a woman to woman. Like if you're falling for this guy, you guys are spending three nights together or whatever, you're like,

what was it like to know that he was like dating other people? Like how did you reconcile that in your head? Because you were just like, I'm doing it too. Exactly. Yeah. I think so. Because I think I was just,

and I didn't think he was dating that many people. I just was like. or maybe I was in tonight. I think it was her. And that was it. And I kind of knew, like, he would, like, it was so rare, like, when he went to Philly that, like, and then I would just make a date. So, yeah.

I was probably more, because I was, like, it was me too. And I wasn't ready to commit to me to me. I just think it's so hard to compartmentalize. Like, when I really like somebody, it's, I can't like anybody else. I don't know. But everybody's different. I don't think I did. I think I just did it anyway.

I don't, I don't know. So what was the narrative in your head, though? Were you like, I'm not in a rush to put a label on this? like when it happens, it happens? Yeah, or I'm not in a rush to, like, commit. I was so busy with work also and stuff. And yeah, I just kind of am like, let the universe decide.

I kind of is just like, at some point, something has to happen, right? Like, I don't feel like people, people, I feel like women put a lot of pressure on themselves to make a decision. Like, you have to make a decision, make a decision. But I feel like often the decision

just gets made for you. You know, it's like the Chinese proverb, like you can make all the plans you want and God laughs because, because Chinese don't believe a God. But also was Richie like showing, like it sounds like he was showing up. Like you, it wasn't like this guy's ghosting me.

Exactly. He's not responding to my text. Exactly. That's the thing. Like it's. And I knew that when he was with her, like most of the time he would just come home to me. If he,

if you want to hear the real sappy shit, it's that when I was with other girls, I was thinking about Lisa. I think a lot of people go through this time. It's not like I didn't care. I mean, I, we also went through like a really a tough phase. When he was on tour with Cat and girls would like send him naked pictures and like that was hard. And like that was a whole different level of like girls

like throwing themselves at him and stuff and like the backstage and like I didn't go to all the tours and all that stuff. We went through a, we went through a period where like I cared maybe too much, you know, and now we've got into a better. Now we've found a much better place. But I went from like, I'm very extreme. I'm obviously like very extreme. She runs pretty hot and cold. Look just like me. Yeah. I'm very, very. extreme. Well, how do you guys deal with that? I mean, that wasn't a topic we really prepared to discuss, but I feel like we haven't had anybody else on that's talked about it. I'd love to hear about that. I mean, what do you do? Are you just like, leave me alone? Do you respond

to nudes? I mean, you get on stage and you have a bunch of DMs? Do you screenshot them, at least for like a folder? And send them to Lisa. That was a thing that I had to like learn how to not engage. I like, I like, I talked to some guys visitor in essay and stuff. And actually like, stevo is a great person to talk about that with. And he said it's called intriguing when like, you're not actually going to do anything,

but you engage and like there's the attention. Yeah, I mean. When you say essay, do you mean sex addicts? Okay. And it's like. Not that he's not, I mean, he's an addict. So anything's possible. But anyway.

I just want to clarify. I talked to some people just to like kind of learn that language and stuff and it's like you know attention is kind of like the initial addiction of comics probably right of like I want attention and then when it turns to like sexual attention is like I'm winning now I'm winning more now I'm winning it just feels like winning all the time

and like but to be able to cut that off and to make boundaries and stuff like yeah with Lisa was the first time that I actually made those boundaries because I realized that through... Because you knew I would walk out. Well, through some not calm speech that it very much bothered her. You know?

Right. So, like, yeah, I actually blocked chicks and all that. Do you feel like it's just enough and fulfilling enough to know that, like, you could do it, people find you attractive, other women want you, and then you get to go home to somebody. That's great that loves you.

Like, do you feel like that's like enough? Yeah. Well, I mean, no, I don't, like, I don't need... I don't need... I don't. need that other part of it anymore. But, so. And the other thing is with him being sober, it's like about being sober, you, you're sick

is your secrets. So like, I know that and he lives by that and he has several sponsors, like, he's very involved in like that way of life and like that on it. Wait a blow to your anonymity. By the way, they mention that he's a. It's this anonymous program for Foxxig. And that you never identify as being a part of it at a, press or radio level. I'm not totally perfect.

It's like one of their traditions maybe. No one listened to. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe it's the 11th tradition. Of the 12th. So here's actually a thing that I had. So I was like freakishly small as a kid and I was 78 pounds my freshman year in high

school. I graduated 103 pounds. What? Yeah, I was a coxsw in for the crew team. Like I was professionally very small. professionally imagine. Yeah. And then, and in college, I was also a coxon.

So I was, I was 120 pounds when I graduated from college. So that doesn't translate into a guy that gets a lot of puss necessarily. So, you know, and then when I start doing comedy, it's like you get all this attention and stuff like that. And, and like, I wound up. So my old roommate is this guy Johnny Miller, who's a great musician. and he like there is when I said that I attracted more crazy sober it was when I was living with him and it was this like watershed moment that should have been such a natural thing that he was like hey man you know you don't have to hook up with every girl that wants to hook up with you and it's like

oh yeah like wow yeah but for so many years you couldn't right so it just plays into your psyche you're like they suddenly want the day yeah I mean it wasn't like I wasn't going hoggin or anything but it was like psychologically you're right When you're younger, you're like, I do have to. Yeah. And it was this thing of like, like, I can't believe I didn't realize that before. But I mean, there's these things that like, you know, I consider myself a pretty smart person. And it's like, you know, they're still a man.

But like there's things like. He went to an Ivy League school to tell dick jokes. So, you know. Where'd you go? University of Pennsylvania. Oh, Merrill. But I think that this is really good advice for anybody that dates another person who just travels a lot. in general. Like, how do you trust them?

And how do you trust that they're not going to do, and how you trust yourself to not do those things. And not just traveling. You're on stage, you know. I'm trying to make it even a bigger, broader. Like so many people date people that they just, they can't control who slides in and who they meet and they're on the road. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just totally stop caring. I like, don't think about it anymore. Yeah. I went from like that level of like, what the hell did I get myself into? Like, do I want to live this life? Like, do I want, you know, it's also like, I'm alone on the

couch most nights with the dog. Like it's not, it's a different lifestyle for sure. But, and then, yeah, I went from a point of doing all that and then being like, oh, you know, like, I just don't care. Like, I'm, I trust him and I'm comfortable on the couch and I just, like, I don't even think about it anymore. It's not that you don't care. I really don't. That's right. And I, and I just don't think of that. You know what? Also, the other thing that helped me also was that I got much busier. Like, my business started to take off and, and I started to do my own thing. And because we met when like I had just graduated my like crazy internship and I was like finding my way and now I've built this business and I've started my own things and found my

own niche. And so yeah, so I think that helped me immensely. I was so busy thinking about myself and worrying about myself that I just stopped. Yeah, but also a good chunk of any set that I'm going to do is probably about you at this point. Yeah, which a lot of girls actually have a problem. I think there's a difference if the jokes appear to be at your expense or there are jokes about you. And Rain and I, I mean, clearly not going to say any names. I know some comics and the jokes that they tell about their girlfriend I would not stand for. And I'm a comic and I don't take myself seriously, but there's this line of like, you love and respect your partner and she's just fodder for jokes. And some women are fine with it. But I'm just not one of

them. So if my partner was a comic, he could talk about us all day. But I think we'd probably have to get into a groove where I kind of knew what jokes are coming and what he's working on. That's what you talk about when you're two comedians anyways, you work your shit out. But like I dated a comic for a long time and like the jokes were always about me but more lifted me up than at my expense. Right. Like there's a real difference. Oh, huge difference.

And we've seen some that we are like cringing and like the guy's girlfriends in the room were like, damn, she is just. I'm talking about other girls. I don't want to hear that either. I actually love all those jokes about me. I will tell people they're like 98% true. And so, but there are people, what I don't like, I've seen a lot of comics and married comics, like pick out girls in the crowd and be like,

like, oh, you are so hot. Like that's not, that I would not fly. That's not even Richie's style, though. No, that's not his style. Not anymore. That's not his style. And he is very good about his jokes about me. And some of his jokes are about his ex,

but that doesn't bother me at all. I don't really care. It's, like, I miss her and worrying about it. No, there's some stuff that you just have to like pull together. It's a funny. It's really funny. And I can appreciate that. But some girls are like, I wouldn't want to be talked about at all on stage.

And I'm like, well, at least he's talking about. me. And I don't care. Like I know, right, I know what I signed up for. Right. But I, just to back it up, I think that your advice was so great when you're like in this hellscape of like, I don't trust the person. You can't stop thinking about it because it will become all consuming for me. It's the only thing I will think about it. I will be like checking geo tags of where you're at that evening. Just to see if you're in the back of photos. Like, yeah. See, guys don't even know what geo tags are. Yeah. Okay. Well, I will do stuff like that. You just made yourself so busy that like it helped you probably to get some perspective on what you're making yourself so crazy about. Exactly.

Exactly. I learned that still to this day. like if I find myself stressing about something with a guy or whatever it is, like then all of a sudden Rain and I get crazy busy and I'm like, I haven't even thought about that. Yeah, like your life is amazing. Everything. Right. But we have downtime too.

That's the enemy of like that like at home on the couch, nothing to do. Like figure something out to occupy your brain. Yeah. Well, it's also one of those things. It's like the fear versus the reality is so ridiculous. You were making up like stories in your head that aren't happening. I was.

Yeah. I mean, just anybody. Whenever somebody is, you know, spun out thinking about. what might, what somebody else might be doing right now. You will literally like yourself crazy. You're so far off base. Like you wake up and you're like, I can't believe. And you're like, that wasn't even close.

That's not reality. I'll walk around the East Village for hours, just melancholy, can't get out of my head, call my dad, call you, call people. I just, like, if I have nothing to do, I just spiral so badly. I feel like this neighborhood is a good place to see street breakups, though. Oh, I'll follow people for a mile. I will follow. I'll skip a show to go watch a breakup.

Love a good street break up. Don't even care if we've a guest. Just skipping the recording. Yeah. I mean, I feel like whenever you see a street breakup, the breakie is crazy. The person getting broken up with? Yeah, because the breaker wants witnesses. Okay. That's fair. Like somebody might set it off. I'm loving so much hearing about your guys' relationship.

I want to make sure we let you finish your whole spieled out. Like, was it just that guy that was kind of the catalyst to be? be like, I don't have to hook up with anybody. I don't know if we cut you off on that. Well, no, it was, I was creating chaos in my own life by making bad choices. Okay. And, like, if, I've, I've been wrong about a lot of things, but one thing I've never been wrong about is when I got into some kind of situation with a girl and I said to myself,

this is going to end crazy. 100% of the time, it ended crazy. Okay. And, like, I mean, just the gut instinct. I mean, like, I had to get a restraining order against a girl at one point. Yeah. Literally two borderline personalities in a row. That dick must be pretty good.

It ain't bad. Jesus. Yeah. Actually, my mom actually asked me once. Like, what does I know, your mom asked you what your boyfriend's dick was like? No, she was like, that cocks and cock.

She was like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it is. That's that. Yeah. She asked me to see it one time. That was weird. I kind of want to see it.

We're going to take a break. We're going to watch you guys fuck. And we're going to watch you. To be fair, to her mom, it was at Passover. She wanted to make sure I was circumvent. size. Before we pass the holla.

That's what we do. That's what we do in our circumcision pass over. I'm so confused right now. He dip it in honey. It's a whole thing. But yeah, so I was like... So you put honey on it?

I was creating chaos in my life. And like it was like, I was like, with girls that I wasn't connected to in any real way, I was just like, you know, juggling for the sake of juggling. and it was just like, this is so fucking unfun. Yeah. And so it was almost like, I know it's kind of weird talking about it with Lisa here,

but it was like I almost had to learn the lesson with that like I did with everything else. And it's like I smoked until I couldn't breathe. I drank until I couldn't remember anything. I did coke until my nose was bleeding all the time. And I had casual sex until it was just gross. Yeah. But he is fully tested. Yeah.

that on there. He's like, in case you guys were thinking about me, I'm fine. Also, like, just fuck any girl that watches a comedian, talk about his girlfriend on stage and still slides into his DMs. Fuck all of them. No, absolutely. I hate that. There's something so gross about, like, knowing that this person has a partner and you still

go in there anyway, like, oh, fuck you all. You know, it's like a certain fetish that girls are like, it doesn't matter how much you love this person. I'm going to supersede that. It's actually more attractive to them. It's a terrible way to be. I promise you. guys that if I get a DM from somebody from this episode, we will blow that spot up.

Yes. If you, any you bitches, D.N. We're putting your handle. All five accounts we own. Follow me. But you don't send news. Oh, my God. Well, you guys, thank you so much for sharing all the details of your relationship.

I'm fascinated. I love this. We're never going to talk about pets ever on this podcast ever. Okay, but we can't talk about pets. Do you want to talk about how you started the podcast? Maybe that'll be like a good. segue, and then we can talk about, like, when to get a pet with your partner, how to share a pet when you break up, people to prioritize their pets, etc. Like I said, it started because we were

getting, we're fielding so many calls from comics. And so the thing that's particularly fun about the show is that people project themselves onto their pets, right? So like the personalities and stuff come out through the pets. And it's like the least narcissistic interview. Like, you know, when you talked about Dewey for 45 minutes, like, it's the longest that you go without talking about yourself. Oh, yeah. Just talk about your pets. You get really people in this really nice, genuine space.

Yeah. Like even people that maybe are assholes normally aren't good. That doesn't, when they're talking about their pet, you think they're like a great person. So you really are deceiving people actually. Yeah. So you guys have, well, you, Lisa, Chloe is your dog. Yes. But like you're a stepdad basically.

Yeah. Pretty much dad. He's a really good doggy dad. That's the other thing. There's a picture of her ex-boyfriend holding Chloe as a puppy. That it's like tiny little club. I know her as a puppy. I know, but he knew her when she was like two,

and now she's almost nine. Yeah, she was three. Almost three. So I think we want to definitely go through some of these. We don't want to, well, too long on them, because we want to get through some of the main ones that people want. I mean, people that people want answered. But number one is like when to get a pet together.

And I think that's subjective. You know, I think it's, I think when you're fully committed, it's not a child, but it's still something that you would share. But so it's kind of like live your truth on that. But I think that there's, I think when you're very fully committed, you see a future with the person long term. Like if you cannot picture yourself marrying somebody, never got a pet with them.

But we want to talk to you about steps to take basically like prenuptial agreements for pets. Yeah, it's so important because I do see a lot of couple of goals to go through this. So I'd say not just to like not just where you're in your relationship, but like what if it doesn't work out? Are you willing to keep the dog on your own? You know, what happens if you have a child, by accident or something. And then, like, you never know. Like, all through all of, is your motto,

like, I'm not going to go to work unless I can take my dog or I'm not going to live in a building unless I can take my dog? Like, that's what your mindset has to be, I think, before you even get a dog. And knowing that dogs are really expensive. Can you afford it by yourself? Yeah. Yeah. Medical care is expensive. So how are you going to just make sure that all of that's covered? But I'd say the most important piece of advice I have for relationships, which I love giving out to all the ladies out there. The ladies. Or guys.

To the ladies. That are good actors. Make sure that you're, yeah. Make sure that your, the pet's name is under your name. So all of the medical records are actually considered like legal binding documents. And that is like pretty much the only thing in court that if you go through like a bad breakup or divorce that they will give you like the custody over. Because it's like the only thing that you can show that's a legally binding document. So make sure whatever you do with your pet that's in your name, your last name, your first name, your first name,

last name. Can you guide joint custody of an animal? Like when you buy it, can both of your names be on it? Hyphen. Yeah, so there are some medical... So I see that I really think about this all the time when I see... For sure. We want to talk about it. This is the main. Where I see... Yeah, when I see... Joint names on records. I'm like, oh, girlfriend, you shouldn't have done that.

So... But also, I mean, this isn't and it's not just to the ladies. It's to the party. Yeah. It's the... Like, for sure. I also think this isn't a like, make sure your name's on it without your partner knowing. Like, discuss the thing. I just don't, I just think people need to be more realistic. I think there are decisions that are made in relationships that are related to property, which is an animal is considered that are related to finances that aren't sexy.

That requires sitting down and having a conversation about, I love you, I'm committed to you, I want to get this pet with you, but of course we could always break up and then what do we do? And you have to decide it before you in if you're going to do it together. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of like having a will or having like knowing like we're going to. Yeah. I don't think anybody does that though. I don't think they do.

With a dog, like you're so blissful about it. Because I think a lot of girls do get a dog as a daddy test. Okay. So like, so like, so like you're, so like you're, I think you're at your most optimistic point in an early relationship when you get the dog. So it's so, I think it is so rare than anybody would be like. It's rare, but it shouldn't be. Right. And by the way, then I guess it should just be understood who's the dog is.

So like, we have a couple. They're married now. So whatever, like, no issue there. I never thought they were going to break up in the first place, but Robin Allison, they got a poodle. It was Allison's poodle. Like, it just was like, sure, we can get a dog. Yeah.

She wanted it more. It was a type of dog she wanted. It's her dog. Yeah. Had they not gotten married and had they broken up, it would have been zero argument. Right. But I think what people fall into is they got it together

somewhere along the lines, perhaps the man made more money and his name ended up on something or he purchased something and then the girl, it's more her dog. Right. And then you're fucked. Yeah. Oh, actually, I went through this.

Because I got Chloe with my ex, and you would think, like, I'm the veterinary professional, like, I'm going to keep the dog, like, whatever. But actually, because I was in school so much, he really spent a lot of time with her when she was a puppy. And I thought he was, we were breaking up. I actually thought he was going to keep her because I thought, like, I would be working 100-hour work weeks at the hospital, and he had put so much time. And we wound up in a situation where I actually was, he was moving around because we

had just broken up and it was weird. and I actually kept her. And then he was like, okay, I'm going to take the dog now. And I'm like, over my dead body you are. Like, I had such a crazy visceral reaction. I did not think that I would even have, I mean, as much as I. I can't imagine what your reaction was.

I'm so obsessed with her. It's not normal. But like, I don't think I even realize that until he was like, okay, I'm ready to take the dog. And I'm like, over my dead body, you're going to take this dog. So there's also a super. So things change.

But I think as long as somebody's committed, as long as one person is committed, that you know, like, that you're not, the dog's not going to wind up in a shelter or having to give, you know, like, that's the tough part, right, yeah. The, the very super dark side of this that I never would have thought of that Lisa told me about is that there's, there's like husbands or wives, whatever, like,

in a really ugly breakup, we'll try to get a dog euthanized. Oh, my God. What? So many awful stories like that for sure. Just to hurt the person? Yeah. Yeah. And then can you imagine, like, the veterinarian in that,

poor situation where like, I mean, how do we know? How do I know who the real owner is? Somebody brings in a dog, says, this is my dog. We don't ask for like proof. That is the sickest thing I've ever heard. And then they will euthanize the pet and just, and then we get like a phone call an hour later. This is my, this was my dog.

Like he, like my ex shouldn't have taken my dog. You shouldn't have been with him. Like none of that should have happened. But like, how do you know? Can I ask you a super fucked up question? Are you like legally on the hook for this? Like, can you get sued? This is, I mean.

That's allowed? I mean, how do we know? Like, the thing is, yeah, there's no way to know. The one thing I'll say is that we wouldn't, I think most veterinarians will not, like I won't do a convenience euthanasia, right? Like if somebody brings me a perfectly healthy animal and they're like, I was in a breakup, I just want to euthanize this dog. I'll be like, no.

Yeah, exactly. You should euthanize that person. Yeah, you're the one that needs to be on the table. Seriously. And I've said no. I've had people come to me and ask very ridiculous things. And I've said, I've had to say no. Like, yeah, it's really crazy.

But there are situations where there are like old. animals like that are sick and like actually look ill and the partner doesn't want to take care of it anymore but the other partner really wants it or like yeah it's really, really upsetting, really crazy. It's rare but it definitely happens. So I think at the end of the day, for women listening, if you want this dog with your partner, make sure your name is on everything. And if they're fighting you for it, the conversation needs to be had. So if it's simple and it's easy and it's like, hey, we're getting this dog together. And you're the woman. and you're the one like taking control,

you're going to the shelters or hopefully adopt on shop or whatever you're doing if you're buying it, whatever. Don't let this guy pay for it unless you want him to have the rights for it because I think the questions we've got the most were that muddy waters of like, but it was I wanted the dog, but he paid for the thing so his name's on like the receipt.

It's just like if you can't afford it. Make sure your name's on more. First of all, you can't afford something. Yeah, then you shouldn't be doing this anyway because you can't afford the dog on your own in the first place. I just think that's, it is the answer. And I think, you know, we told a girl, this was one of those heartbreaking stories. We had early on about this.

And the guy, like, took the dog and he got his dad involved and they bullied her. And they came, it was really so sad. And to me, I was like, I think that you just need to get a new dog. Like, there's so many dogs that need homes. Like, this is a stress in your life. This family's never going to leave you alone. They're bullying you. This guy's father's involved.

Like, it's not worth your time when so. many other animals need homes. So if he can take care of the dog, he's not abusing the dog, let him have the dog and get a new dog that's not tied to all these memories. I think when people also break up and then the dog, they're still doing like co-parenting. It's like, I can't imagine.

Just leave it because so many other dogs need homes. But if you can, that's fine, that's beautiful. But I think that like you can't use an animal as a way to tether you to another person indefinitely. It's not fair. It's not fair to you emotionally or them. It's not fair to the animal to have to be packed back and forth. Right.

Yeah. And I think that these aren't sexy conversations to have. Just like a pre-up is not a sexy conversation to have. But like I, we say all the time like just have the conversation. Like it's not fun or sexy. And I think that like same with when somebody owes you money at the end of a relationship walking away from that. Like you have to walk away from a pet sometimes too because like why be tethered to this person forever. Right.

You know? That's not fair. No. It's not fair. And just like you said, it's not fair to the animal. So I wonder how like they feel when because usually animals will imprint on one person like you are doing. person. And the reaction, and the reaction that I've seen pets have to their people is unfreaking believable. I'm telling you, we have like coogos in the hospital and their animal,

their owner will come in and they're like licking their face. Like there's no question, one of the things I've learned the most is there's no question your animal knows who you are and loves you and really has imprinted on you. And so the back and forth is it's really hard. It's really, really hard. It's guess it's better than giving them away. But it's, I think that's hard on the animal. They're not kids, right? So, like, I think this isn't that Dewey, like, would miss my ex because that was his dad. Right, no, I don't think he's missing him. It's not, you.

He needs a male influence. Right. I mean, Dewee does have that issues because I'm a single mother, but, like, yeah, I'm sure if he saw him, he would be excited, but this isn't that it's, they need to ever see each other again. No, I don't think people get caught up in this, like, they think of as dogs as humans. And they're like, but the dog must miss the other partner. It's like they're fine. Yeah, no. They have you though.

I mean, if he has you, they have their main person, you don't need to have visitation with the ex. It's fucking crazy. I agree. The more clean a breakup can be the better. Absolutely. I mean, I've had like two tremendously bad breakups, but the biggest gift of those breakups is that like they were so terrible.

I never had to see the person again. And like that for me was the healthiest one as opposed to like a breakup I had where we just like slept with each other and fucked with each other for years after the breakup. I think it's just, it's better. Why have this thing hanging over there. It's why you don't shit where you eat. I really, I only shit where I eat. Raina only eats in the bathroom, actually.

We want to talk about, we're going to talk about sex and cock blocking towards the end. We're going to do a whole segment with it. So we'll get into that. But I want to talk about this, in general, just the prioritizing of the pet over the person's partner. Like, you know how much I love Dewey, but he is still an animal.

and if he was affecting my romantic relationship, I'd be like, do we go sleep in your bed? A woman wrote on our Facebook page that this guy has his pit bull, which are notoriously very cuddly animals, but the pit bull has to be there all the time. They can't ever, the pit bull has to sit between them. I don't know why I keep saying the breed of the dog.

I love pit bulls, by the way. But the dog has to be between them and the couch when they're Netflix, saying the dog is to be in the bed all the time. Right. Which I find odd, but I also think Richie can speak on it because I know he talks about what happens when you walk in the how much I love the dog. Yeah, but also though, I am realistic. Your relationship does have to

have a place. And so as much as I love the dog when I first, when we first started like really cohabitating, I taught Chloe to sleep in her own bed because that, I mean, he says it's like, it's like having a dude in the bed. She's a 75 pound dog and we have a queen's size bed. It's in New York City. It's so small. And I got her like a canopy bed that I knew she would be as comfortable and possible. We still struggle. Sometimes she still comes into bed. It's like a thing. but I tried, right? Because I do think that, yeah, even though... Some of it...

You prioritized your human partner. Yeah, well, some of it was training Chloe, some of it was training Lisa, that we have a rule of Richie gets kisses first. I wanted you to talk about this. I know you guys have this one of all. Yeah, because Lisa is the only person that Chloe jumps up on,

and she is five foot one and a half on a warm day also. No, I mean, Chloe. And so, like, the second she comes to the door, Chloe will just jump on her and start licking her face. And it's like, m'u-mm-mm-blum. And I'm like, Yep, we're not kissing now. So, but.

So it's a rule. I walk in and I say, okay, let me give you a kiss first and then I'll kiss the dog. Richie first. So I do that. But I want to, but I want to, if you have any advice for the girl that's dealing with this where she's like, I'm dating this guy and he's obsessed with his dog and I feel like I can't even get in there. Yeah.

So like I'll give you a scenario. I can do this guy in college and he was unhealthily obsessed with the dog. I mean, they thought. Huh? They popped. They fed and they peanut buttered it. You know what I'm saying? Little honey on there.

On his dick. He, it was like all day long, like photos all day long at the dog, which is fine. It's like cute, but it's like I get it. It's like every conversation involved the dog. Everything we did was informed by what the dog needed, going home to see the dog. He let the dog watch us fuck, which we'll talk about, which I hated. Because I, like, dated this guy recently with two dogs and like we would have sex in the bedroom and he'd shut the door.

Like, I don't want two tiny little dogs like, yep, yep, yep, yep, while I'm fucking. Yeah, there was two people that had each other. yes, they had each other for company. But like, yeah, I just... Did they ever start fucking while you guys were fucking? And you just find yourself in this inner species origin? Like, this is weird. Oh, what?

So all of a sudden, two boys can't... I hate this podcast. Being gay, is it real? Yeah. Don't you gay shame a dog? What, did they pray it away? We took them to church after we fired. That would be...

That's definitely a deal breaker. if you're hooking up for the first time, you look over and two dude dogs are butt-fucking. I don't know. I would enjoy it. I think it's really funny. Also missionary. Raina cuck holds dogs.

That's the only thing she likes dogs when she's cuckolding. The dog cuck. That's what they call her. You like that? You like that? The cuck whisper. Okay. I am probably like predisposed to not enjoying people that want to be like

talk about their dogs anyways all the times. I've never had a dog. I don't care. I don't want to talk about it all that. I don't expect that either. Like I don't, when I was like, she's my dog, my responsibility. At first I was like, I walked her. I did everything.

I don't expect anybody else to. Right. But I think for me, like there was, there's no nice, normal way to say to a person, especially early on in a relationship. Like, this is stupid and annoying because then you're just like a horrible person. So, I mean, for me, he just wasn't my person. Like, there was no, like, constructive way to discuss that with a person. I feel like even that would have been annoying for me, though.

Like, you don't force yourself, you don't force your dog. It's like a child, really. Like you don't, you're not, you don't send somebody pictures and be like, yeah, then this is my whole life, right? Like, that's weird. The scenario of like, you can't sit next to each other without the dog in between you, no. But like, hard line.

Nobody loves dogs from the jungle. Most of them. They're not all created equal, you know, but like I love dogs so much and I love nothing more than the cuddle with Dewey. We know. I'm a crazy dog person. I'll cry in the street when I see certain dogs. Like I love dogs.

I can't stress it enough. Dewey's a love of my life. I don't, you know, you guys get it. But if I was dating a guy like that, I don't know what I would do. So I don't know if you have any advice. Like I don't know. Literally,

I feel like I have advice for most scenarios and I don't know what I would do because it is this crazy bond that some men have with their dog. And like, I don't want to be on the couch with you, Netflix scene with the dog in between us. I don't want to do it. And I guess I would have to,

I just don't even know what to say. Yeah. They're going to get offended. It's just as in how they do it, right? I mean, they can love their dog and like make that obvious, but also like, yeah, you have to be a priority. and also if they're sending you pictures all day long of their dog,

like, who cares? Like, it's not my dog. It's the same photo every day. Your dog still looks like a fucking dog. I'm sorry. I'm like, still not over it's so long ago. Get some costumes.

I fully agree with you. I fully agree with you. Like, I would not want to see that all day. I don't want to see somebody else's dog all day long. Like, also I do it for work. But like, I don't know. I don't know. What's the answer?

What's the answer to? What's the specific question? How do you do you? Can you be a person? I don't know what to do it. I mean, I don't know. I mean, I think it's like, it's the same answer for other massive character defects is that, like, you're getting into a relationship with this person, not the person that you want them to be. So, like, don't assume that if this thing is a big deal in the first two weeks, that it's just going to go away.

You know, like, if somebody works 100 hours a week, they work 100 hours a week. If you can't deal with that in a relationship, you can't deal with them. Like, don't get into it. Well, that, but also, I think having the hard conversation, don't be afraid to have that conversation. Don't be afraid to be like, he said, like, I need to get a kiss first. And I was like, okay, that's easy enough for me. It's not like I can't kiss my dog. An actionable thing.

I'm just going to kiss you first so the dog slobbers not all over my face. And then I can kiss my dog. Maybe it's an actionable thing and not such a broad thing. And I think it's a good litmus test for this person. I think I love what you said. I think maybe you could say, I love like, I really like you. I like being close with you. I like being physical with you.

Like, I love the dog. But is there any way we can get the dog a really nice bed? Or is there anything that I think you start obviously eye statements always. but like, is there anything I can do to kind of make it so we have a little more time to be affectionate just the two of us? I love your dog. I can't stress it enough. Right. I think you tiptoe around it, use eye statements, stress how much you're just trying to get closer to them. And if they, if they flip out and they're like, how could you do that? I think maybe you run. Yeah, right, exactly. For sure. Well, that's the thing. At certain point, like, you do run. Because the dog's going to be

prioritized over you forever. For sure. Because I think it's not normal for somebody to send you dog pictures all day long. Like, that's, it's not normal, especially when he knows that, like, you know, You're not a dog person. Like, I think you would have, if your relationship would have been stronger and you would have been together, like, you would probably would have come around to being more of a dog person and taking that on your own. But when somebody tries to force it on you, you're right. You're right.

I've blown my load on caring about this. Yeah. Like, how many more ways can I tell you? Like, that looks cute. I got it. I think that your vice is so perfect, though, and frame it in like a, I want to be more intimate with you. I want to figure out ways that we can, like, make this better.

And, like, you know, if it's super early on, that it's probably not going to change. And I think that that's also, like, a healthy way to look at any, defect in a relationship. Yeah. Another thing I wanted to talk about, we got this in the Facebook group as well. And most of the people actually gave her wonderful advice, but it was his dog, the guy's dog, she was dating.

And they basically got in a fight, and he threw out in the fight. Like you never even helped buy the food for the dog. And she was like, hey, I love the dog. I walk the dog. I contribute. I treat it as my own, but I shouldn't have to contribute.

financially because it's not my dog. And did they live together in the scenario? I forget. I can't remember. Because to me that's different. I don't think they live together. If you live there, I don't know. I mean, you have a dog.

What do you think? Do you think it's different if the partner lives with you versus doesn't? I think maybe if you do not live together, like, it's always a conversation, but I would have never expected my ex to pay for Dewey's food. He brought him treats sometimes. He brought him gifts because he loved him. And she said that too. She was like, I buy treats and stuff.

But it's my responsibility. If we break up, I get the dog. The dog is mine. Why should he have to contribute to the dog's day-to-day necessities? If we break up, which we did, I kept my dog. Yeah. And also, you know, to me, where the line for me is if someone's not helping at all. So if I'm going to date somebody, I hope he's going to help me with Dewey and walk him

and love on him and stuff like that. If someone hard line in the sand never wakes up and walks Dewey, it's not, I just don't think we're a match because I think you should want to and help your partner. because it helps my life, it makes my life easier. Exactly. Which is what love is. But like, so he, my ex that I was really close with, the main one when I had, Dewey was a wonderful help.

But I would never, if I would, if he even came home and surprised me by buying Dewey food, I'd be, I would be like you didn't need to do that. Totally. I still buy all of, I mean, we're not married. We have separate finances. I still take care of everything financially for Chloe. You do. Because, yeah, I mean, I, not, and I think that he would probably if I asked him to,

but it's something that naturally progressed. We're like, first of all, I had to trust him walking Chloe because I don't, I'm right, because I love her so much. And I'm like, do you trust somebody walking. You can't trust just like anybody walking a dog. Ashley won't let me walk to her. Raina walked Dewey an emergency situation a few months ago. It was the first time she's ever walked a dog ever.

Right. Really? She sent me a text message and said, I can't stress this enough. You are the last person I'd ever asked to do. And Dewee has his perks on the leash too, right? I'm not big enough to handle him. Exactly. I think what people said in the Facebook group,

which was the answer, and I just, I wanted to hear what you guys, what your situation is, is if you broke up, who gets the dog, that's your dog, is your financial responsibility.

It just is. Yeah, she's my financial. Yeah. I think also, though, that situation that you mentioned or like it was in a fight, like, if something happens in a fight,

it's not necessarily the most rational thing. But it was on his mind. Yeah. So maybe, true. Maybe he went back and was like, I didn't mean that, which is awesome,

we've also have things we don't mean in the heat of the moment. So perhaps, but like, wanted to address the thing. And then also think... I don't think that's fair of him to put on her. Of course not.

Right. Especially if you got... If it was a decision to purchase this property prior to the relationship... Exactly. You're so not a dog person. Exactly. Why?

No, that's property. No, no. I think he was trying to be funny. I mean, if I had a kid before I met my man, I wouldn't expect him to raise the kids. Exactly right. Unless we were in a committed long-term relationship. He lived with me.

He'd committed to that. And then something that naturally happens. It's like, okay, love you. I love your kid. Now, let's... me adopt them. You know, he just started walking her, like, it just happened very naturally. And now we, like, take turns. I walk her in the morning. He walks her at night. And that's, like, what it is. And he's a great doggy daddy. But I'm a professional. And I had her first.

It would be probably different if we had them together. But let's be real, I'm also the professional. But now I'm thinking about what we talked about with, if you get a dog together, I can see that getting tricky. That's where you make sure that everything is in your name. But then the buying of the food. Like, let's just take the food. for example, food can be 50, 60 bucks a month or more. So I think that's when you have to sit down and figure that out ahead of time. Yeah. But then you get into the breakup and then the other person says,

I've split half of the dog's food with you for three years. He's just as much mine. Right. But not legally. If the dog's name is in your record, it doesn't really matter. Okay, look, let's be adults. I wouldn't buy a car with another person without having a discussion with them about who pays for the gas, who splits the car.

If we break up, where does the car go? An animal is no different to me. Definitely. Have the conversation. I feel like it all kind of comes back to what you said first. That like animals mostly have a person. And you know damn well. Like if you had to do a Hammurabi situation, it's like, you know,

are we going to cut this dog in half or are we going to let it choose? Like it would, you know who it would choose. I love Chloe. I know she would choose Lisa. Right. Of course. And choose Lisa to begin with it. Like, don't be a shit bag in a breakup.

is probably part of the advice. I think it's rare. I think most people know, but I think the answer is like, if we're talking to the ladies here, that you want to be responsible for that dog, like if you are the person that it's more yours, maybe you need to realize that you might need to pay for it more

and take a lot of the responsibility. Yeah, and I'm happy to do that. Because of vet bills, like, if you get a dog together, thousands of dollars. Oh, yeah. It could be. Minimum, yeah, absolutely. Over a few years.

Yeah. It's so expensive. And if the big bills hit when like the crisis hits and, I mean, pet insurance, my strong advice would be pet insurance and big fan of pet insurance. But yeah, when crisis hits, it's really relationship ruining. It's like having like a really sick kid. It's so much responsibility, so much time, so much emotion that goes into it. So I think, yeah, you have to have those conversations up front.

And you have to just have the option, put the dog, put everything in your name if you think that you want to be the one to keep that dog. But also just try to think about what's best for the dog too. Right. Yeah. But I don't really know the exact answer. But I mean, I can see a scenario where someone's trying to be a dick. And they're like, we broke up.

I'm thousands of dollars in the hole on this dog and you're just going to take it away. Yeah. Well, doggy court. We should start a show. I mean, it's definitely happened. That's not the dumbest thing I've heard today. Yeah. It definitely happened.

Dude, just like five minute episodes come to us and we get to decide who keeps the dog. Yes. I'm so into this. I am so into this. They should be called the Pupples Court. Ash with the names, dude. Really short one. What if you hate someone's dog voice?

You mean like their baby talk dog voice? There's no getting over that. This just happened to a friend of mine and she texts me and she's there. She's dating this guy. She's really in him and she's like, I hate the way he talks to his dog. I don't know what to do. Did she do the voice? It turns me off.

She did a little bit on the phone. If you were going to do an impression. Oh my God. It's just, he's this big burly guy and he's just like, like it's just really high pitch like, yeah. Okay, little baby. Like, it's just. And it turns her up.

He turns into a Japanese hooker. Yeah. Exactly. It's another hard conversation, I guess. I don't know. I mean, you've said to me, like, I hate the baby talk. You hate baby talk. You don't tell me how to talk to Chloe.

But like in general, you're like, I'm not into baby talk. So, like, I don't do it. I mean, well, that's, that's, definitely something. I think you should be able to correct somebody by with the method of teaching by teasing. Like if every time they do it, you're like really annoying back. Like, they might resent it, but they would stop. I try to teach by nagging people. It has mixed outcomes. I feel like you try to teach by withholding BJs. No, I can't stop myself. I'll give a BJ no matter what. But I have always tried to like stop people's behavior by like making a joke or

nagging them a little bit. And like for me, personally, like my partner, the love of my love will be somebody that responds to that positively. You know, it's not somebody that feels like they're being attacked by me or I'm like, I'm emasculating that. I'm like, you have to be able to take a joke. That would also be so funny if that was like the deal breaker for a guy of like, that baby voice is just who I am, man. I need to talk that way. It is really weird though. When you see like a big, burly guy that guy was day in the fall, I put his dogs in the other room we fucked. Like these two little tiny pugs and like I loved them so much. But like, watching this gigantic man with a giant beardy's bald covered in tattoos,

like have like a dog baby voice. It's really wild. Yeah. And it can be endearing, but sometimes it can drive you crazy. But I think that might say more sometimes about the relate. Like sometimes then you start to find things that you nitpick and you're like, ooh,

well, I actually hate almost everybody's pet voice except me and my mom because it's the same. I think you get it from your mom. It's wild. But like one girl, she sent me like a video of her talking to her dog. like, oh, do you want to meet Dewey? And I was like horrified. I just, it's a weird thing. It's like someone in their like most secretive, purest form. Like not many people even know how I talk to Dewey. It's really a personal thing. Like now I want to see that. I mean, you probably

I don't know if you ever will. Like Raina hears it. And then she was like the other day, she was like, is your mom here? Like you sound the same. I don't, it's wild. Yeah. It's like kind of, it's such a personal thing. Yeah. You're so vulnerable when you're doing this like cheesy voice. Mine's not so much a baby voice as it is borderline retarded. Oh, go, go, go, go, go. Oh, that's a good, like, that's the man voice. Yeah, if you get, like, kind of... Scooby it up a little bit.

The Scooby. That's what it was for me with this guy. It was more of like a scruffy voice. A scooby voice. Okay, big question. This is the main one. A couple, you both have dogs, let's say, and they don't get along. And you want to move in together.

Ooh, tough one. You got to let him fight to the death. It's obvious. It's obvious. Michael Vic, this shit. Two dogs. enter one dog leaves. You're going to hugger games, the dogs. Yeah, that is a really tough one. I've had, I mean, I've had veterinarians in this situation.

Like, I'm in Facebook groups with like tons of veterinarians who really love their pets and like, what do you do when you move in? I mean, there's not, I mean, my best advice there actually probably would be to work with a trainer if you really want to commit to spend the money because I always say your quality of life with the pet is everything. And so, for example, like, I mean, if you can't move into your partner's house, because you're too. two dogs don't get along, you're not going to have a good quality of life. And neither is your pet. And so investing the money and time into training is going to be everything. And also, it's not like it's two step siblings that don't get along and they're making nasty comments

towards each other. They will kill each other. Like, yeah, one dog's going to attack the other dog. We dealt with this. I dealt with this with a roommate. So I thought, my roommate had a dog. I brought Dewey home. They got along for two months. And then they got in one fight. It was insane. I've reached in. I still have a scar. Wow. really. Crazy. And they just never really stopped. So we went to a trainer.

We then started to realize the way that they would look at each other before they were about to fight. But like they went up against a glass wall. Glass was everywhere. We both have like, there was bloodshed. Like we only lived together. We really, and we, she was so cool and chill that, because I think it could cause a lot of problems. Because then you start blaming the other dog. And we went and saw a trainer.

Clearly that is the answer. I don't know. Some dogs will just never get along. No, absolutely not. But Richie's right. It's not a cute, fun thing. Especially if they're bigger. It's not snarky comments.

They'll kill each other. Oh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And I've seen where partners move with like dogs and cats. And like that's, they're just never safe around each other. So then the other thing I would say is being at house. They can't be around each other, but to block the cats in a room. Exactly.

And that's what you have to do. I mean, you just have to relegate them. It's not going to work. Right, no. So, and that's not even like worth, you know, there are steps you can take to make it safer with training, but it will never probably be 100%. safe. But I think that you a training, you like commit

and spend the money to do whatever it takes to get to a point that's livable or what you can't I mean. Yeah, then you start having to, I mean, ask hard questions. Like, what do you do with a relationship? Or is there a family member who can take the pet?

Which I don't love. Like, I don't advocate for giving up a pet, but I also don't advocate for putting them in a crazy situation. And I wouldn't ask a woman not to move in with her boyfriend for that, you know? it's a really hard one. That's a really really hard one. Can I ask you? I have ignorance. I'm just curious because Ashley's parents have a cat

and I see Dewey fight with the cat. Not just fight. I mean, they can't be wrong. Yeah, but I mean they... But you know that they would. I'm just being... They're not to be trusted. Dude, kill a cat. Is that like a common thing that like cats cannot move in with dogs and can you retrain them? Like to...

Is that like... You can't train a cat for shit. But you can't, you have to meet... They have to be socialized early, right? Dewee can never be around cats, right? Yeah. Right. I mean, I wouldn't never trust him to be around a cat. He's so big. You're like, there's no way.

Yeah. Their critical socialization period is up until 15 weeks. So if you want a dog to be good with cats, you typically want them to be around cats around that time. But even after that, some dogs will then be, it's just like people. You know, it's like some dogs, even though maybe they never saw a cat during that critical socialization period, maybe they'll still be fine. Yeah. And some dogs are like fine when they're puppies, but then still they've got that prey drive when they get older that, like, you just cannot trust them.

So, yeah, in general, when you have just, even two animals that are just two different sizes, even trusting them around each other, it's not worth it. It's not worth taking the risk. Just like if you leave, separate them. I know people actually even with, like, dogs who, their dog and cat do fine inside. Like, they live inside the house together. But if they were to get outside, something in the dog's brain just, like, switches. And, like, prey drive goes.

Murder it? Yeah. They just go after it. So, like, they can live in the same environment, totally fine. but they get out into the hallway, they get into a yard, and all of a sudden it's a different ballgame. So, yeah. Wow.

Yeah. Do you hate cats, Richie? No, I'm, I'm afraid of cats. What? Oh, wow, I've gotten you to admit that. Wow. I've always admitted that. People who don't like cats, I say I think that they're just not comfortable around cats because they're like little aliens. I had a scarring childhood experience with a cat that, like, we were taking it to the vet.

I used to like cats. and we were taking it to the vet in the old 80s Volvo, the big boxy station wagon. And my mom wisely put us in the car and then put the cat like probably just in a grocery bag or something in the way, way back. And in the time that it took to get to the front door, this cat claws out, ricocheted off of mine in my sister's faces like five or six times. And then she opened the door and it went, and we never saw it again. Oh, my God. Yeah. Very traumatic.

Yeah, it kicked this shit out of us. I was like four and she was six. Wow. Yeah, my parents have a really mean cat that I don't like, but my mom said to me when I was a kid, like we had cats grown up and dogs, but she was like, don't trust a man that hates cats.

Like, it's one thing to not be a cat person. I feel like people always like want to hate on cats. Like not all cats are great, but to hate a whole, like I hate when people like, they shit on cats so much. Yeah. It's like they're animals. Like you're not an animal lover if you hate cats,

but she was like, you shouldn't, no offense, because you're traumatic. situation, but she said that earlier, and she was like, yeah, I once saw this man, this guy was dating, kicked my cat, and I never saw him again. Oh, that's, oh my God. Well, that's totally, that's not. You don't have to be a cat lover. Yeah, but to hate cats, I think it's a little bit of a red flag. I had a cat when we moved in together. I know, we're not talking about Richard. Yeah. Another really fun thing that Lisa did. Right. Yeah, really, really neat. I did do that. Ladies, this is a move. You should definitely duplicate.

Yes. What? Tell them, babe. Oh, we moved in together and two months later. I was like, I have a cat. No, it was like two weeks later. It was like, where's the cat? Was that her parents' house? There was talk of this of, it's like, hey,

Jack says hi. And I like, it was always, Jack the cat. Yeah, it was always just like a comment that like, it always just kind of dropped. And it was like,

who's this Jack? And then it's like, hey, Jack's coming. And yeah, so in a 400 square foot apartment while we were riding out her lease before we could move to the place that we're in now,

it was the two of us, a 75 pound dog and a cat. and that cat likes to walk on faces at night. It's the sweetest thing. This is so sweet. No, he's the sweetest cat ever. So easy. He's like walks on faces.

You used to take cute pictures and send them to me of you. So you're not a cat. No, he's not. I just think ladies beware. A guy hates cats. I don't know. Totally. That's not a good look.

No, you can't hate cats. We want to talk about sex. Fine. Everybody looks at Raina. This is where Raina's most experience comes in. That's your wheelhouse, Raina. Thank you very much for seeing me. I just want to talk about sex in general.

What positions we like to do at now. Dogs being in the bedroom, which will segue into our little game segment for the end of today. How do you feel about people who allow their animals to watch when they have sex? That's weird. And like, listen, I am an animal freak. How do you stop an animal from watching? It depends. I guess on where you are.

Why do some want to watch in some doll? Like, to see him, like, do he's in the room when I have sex plenty of times, but he's not staying there like, exactly, exactly. I have dealt with the dog that is like on all fours, we are face to face. That is weird. Same height as the bell.

Face to face with them. The dog is staring me down. We're making eye contact when I come. It's crazy. Have you never masturbated and had eye contact with Dewey? Is that what you're telling me? That was like a horrifying question. I just like, of course I have.

Yeah, every night. How do you think I'd come? Yeah. That's my climax. He's a good looking guy. Yeah. Amen. Well, I feel like that, so there's that aspect of sex with an animal in the room. But for dudes, it's a whole different story because, you know, peener height like Chloe is.

And there's smells that they want to smell. And that's some real sharp teeth to be walking around. And the first few times that you're naked around a dog, it's a thing. A dog that you don't know. It's a thing. You think they're going to bite your dick? Absolutely. It's dangling.

It looks like a toy. Yeah. That is so true. You're so right. I never thought about this. No, it is envious. It is real nervous. So what if you got to have like a hard dick at all times?

So it's not flopping around. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's part of why Lisa likes me. Nothing else. I am pry epic. Google it, ladies. But, but no, that's, that is nerve-wracking.

But have you been straight up cock-block before by a dog? Like you can't do it because of it. I'll tell you something that happened to me that roast me out. I was talking about this guy. He let his dogs like live on the main couch. Like the main couch in living room like was their bed. And they were like pugs. So they're small enough to be on a couch,

but they like slobbered all over it. Is the same guy as baby face or is this another guy with two pugs? This is the same guy. Okay. So, um, I just only fucked one guy that has two pugs. I thought she's been running through these pug heads. It's Zach Alfenakis from the. campaign.

I don't care what you do for a living. I don't care what you want as long as you two pugs. One pug, beat it, pal. Want this puss? I need two pugs. Is it two pug pus? That's how I climax. Wasn't one black and one's white?

They have to be a yin yang too. Interracial. Interracial. Interracial. Twinsies. Woo! Turn down the heat in here. I'm getting wet.

Okay, so I will say, actually, you can give me advice to us to deal with this, because it really bothered me. Okay, I loved these dogs, by the way. I actually, like, unlike the other guy, couldn't get enough of, like, photos. Like a small little...

Yes, I loved walking them. I loved playing with them. I, like, loved his love for them. It was cute as he somebody so burly, like, love these cute little things. Anyways, so we were, like, laying on the couch, and, like, the dog's bed was the couch,

and they were, like, slobbering all over it, they chewed it up. I mean, he really let those dogs just go to town, like really just, like, rub their dicks all over that couch and smelled. Like, it's not... Pug smell if you don't take care of them. Like, pug gus smell.

I mean, all animals smell if you let them slobber. Also, dogs like that with a push-faced smell more. Right. I mean, they just, I mean, it just smells like an animal. And my home doesn't smell like an animal. Right. Right. But also, you don't let Dewey, like, rub his asshole and his face all over this couch.

So we're, like, laying on the. couch watching a movie and the dog's like cuddled up in every like couple seconds, I'd get this like deep whiff of like saliva and just dog, like wet dog. And like he was like trying to like mess around with me on this couch where we were like watching this movie and I like couldn't do it. And like I was just like, let's just go in the other room and like fuck in the bed. And he's like, well, we could like watch the movie and fuck. And I was like, no, no, no, I don't want to be distracted by the movie. But like it's like a real thing for me. Like that smell. It was like such a turnoff. And like I didn't know how to explain that to him. Like you can't really say that to a person.

And, like, your furniture stinks. I don't know. Can you? I think anybody who has a dog can accept, like, if they, if they, you just be like, it's like, like, smells a little doggy here. I don't know. I feel like I'm a little doggy. I feel like I would have, I would have.

I, because you can't. You just can't, right? Yeah. I didn't know what to say. I know. I think that's, like, Lisa's, I think that's a good call. Like, it smells kind of like a, like, like, just say it kind of lightweight. Vacuum and Fabriz.

Do we, like, well, I mean, this couch I treat it, like, my second pet. Like, I love it so much. I'm waiting for day. get my period on it. But it's, um, I, like, I cover it with a blanket. Like, and Dewee, do we will never not lay on it. Because it's so comfortable. And he, I don't, I've never had a thing with furniture and him. He can lay wherever he wants. But like, I cover it. Like, he also doesn't smell. But like, when people's furniture and everything is just like covered a dog hair and smells bad, like you shouldn't be expected to fuck on that. No. Right.

And you can't. Like, so what was the end of the story? This is a very new relationship last five minutes. I mean, like, a long term. Anybody that I'm in a long term partnership with, And I mean two months plus, but long term. But, like, I'm having a conversation with you about this stuff. Yeah, well, I feel like even though more so when you're not, because, like, you don't have time for that shit when you're not in a relationship. Totally, right? You cannot.

But I think in the beginning you want to be like, the cool girl that, like, accepts his dogs and his lifestyle. And you want to be like, this smells bad. But, like, if you take the dogs away and it just smells like manass, you're going to tell him about it. That's true. Hey, buddy, I sounds like manass on this. Right. Yeah. It's not a good smell.

Well, we, that leads us into, we want to play this game for you. Since I'm just going to name it off the top of my head, we'll just call it dog blocked, I guess. Of people, we ask for people's submissions about getting cock blocked. So we're going to run through them. We have some funny emails. And we didn't say doc specifically. We said pets. And I just had to tell you this.

Rain, I didn't even tell you this again. This happened in the Facebook group. So this was so funny to me. Someone reported this, right? So they reported this content. They were offended in the Facebook group. And every time something's reported, like, I'm always like, God damn it. Like, people don't know how to behave, but sometimes it's funny what people are offended by.

So I guess people were talking about this about getting cocked back by the dog and this, or no, they were talking about funny sexual experiences or crazy sexual experiences. And this girl said the goonies were on. And when we were done, we realized one of his chihuahuas was in the bed the whole time. And someone reported that. Like, were they? For like dog abuse? For dog abuse. Oh, my God.

And then I don't even think it's because. The dog watched. I'm picturing the chihuahuas like at the bottom of the bed. Like jostling around, tied up in the sheets. Like can't get free. Like the chihuahua's fine. But the fact that someone reported that is offensive content. They're humping away.

It's struggling. And the dogs is thinking, Goonies never die the whole time. I just know what's going on. As long as you can smash on the dog. That's ridiculous though. Do we? I think I said this one time on a podcast.

Like he, when I lived in Atlanta, like with somebody I was sleeping with, he jumped up on the bed and we were having sex. And I was just like, do we know when I pushed him off the bed. I had like a lower bed at that point, like one of those lower like beds. And another time, this was here in New York and I was having sex with this guy in my kitchen and I was bent over the counter.

And then the coat rack came crashing down. So Dewey knocked over the coat rack. And then in the history of like all the guys have dated and all the guys have slept with Dewey in the house, which has been a good amount since I've had him for 11 years. There was one he did. Tons. Yeah.

Like hundreds. Yeah, there was just one guy he didn't like and he would just run around and act crazy. And it was like, he just, yeah, he wasn't, I just think, Dewey likes most guys. Yeah. They was one, 11 years. That's right.

Just, of course, it didn't work out. Like I was weird. Remember he wasn't close to his family? He was a fucking climber. Yep. No offense, but weirdo climber that didn't get along with his family. No, fuck a climber. I knew a climber.

I know a climber. Fuck a climber. Okay. So, we have a free solo. We have a mix of emails and one. liners. I'm going to kick it off with this one liner because it's a former guest of ours. His name is Jeremy Jocobowitz. He just loves the show so much and this made me laugh.

Okay, so we asked for like one liners for dogs, cockpocking you. This one girl's dog would constantly try to kick me in the dick. Perfect aim every single time. Oh my God. That is so funny. Well, all right. Well, I've seen his dick. It's, I mean, I have questions about that. Please. Like from the bed, from a standstill?

Have I seen his dick from the bed? No, no, no, no. Oh, where was the dog trying to kick his dick? Probably, like, your scenario where, like, you're walking around with your dick out. Okay. That's on you. Could have been, like, a donkey situation. It's a good question, though.

Like, you're in the bed. Is the dog just, like, walking on your dick? Like, I've definitely had animals, like, walk across my titty. Oh, my God. Yeah. Well, we puppy sit a Frenchie sometimes that only wants to walk on my dick. that like I have to have a pillow over the crotch at all times because she wants to sit when you watch TV. She wants to sit on that dick.

I get it. You know, from what we've heard. Okay. I'm going to do two shorts in a row. Okay. One, my ex's boyfriend's big ass doodle, jumped in bed, cock blocked us, then ate my thong. Oh, shit. They love to eat some underwear.

Oh, no. Well, that also could be a very expensive. Right. Real quick, I'll tell you a story. That's a great one. One of the favorites is we do, if dog eats underwear, they can get obstructed. like a foreign, it can be a surgical emergency where you actually have to go in and cut out the underwear.

It's like a $7,000 to $10,000 surgery. Wow. And we often like to give people like, yeah. And we often like to give people, give people what they, right, because we were like, oh, look what your $7,000 came with. And we gave bra and panties back one time to this lady. And she was like, this is not my underwear. Oh, wow.

I found out that. Holy shit. Hi-oh. She found out that her husband was cheating on her. The dog ate somebody else's brawn underwark. Snitching-ass dog. Good stories. Good for that dog, okay?

Good for that fucking dog. Don't save lives. I can't. Which also means he was cheating on you in your own home. Right. Yeah. I am, this story is insane. Yeah.

It's crazy town. I'm going to tell that a show tonight. Yeah. Tell it. Tell it. It's the best of my own. It's the best for her. This fucking guy.

Take it and run with it. surgical removal of the underwear and she's like, that's not my underwear. I am shook. There's another great one along those lines, not to interrupt the game, but the missile. The Dildo? Well, way to give it away.

They all suck at telling stories. Police is so good to comedy. Punchline first. That's what, punchline first. Dildos. I mean, that's great story. So, yeah, a lady, some Indian lady came in and they're getting an x-ray

because the dog ate something and they thought it looked like a missile, and they removed it. No, you have like five, like veterinarians standing around. Like, what is this like rocket-shaped thing? And, yeah, no, but it was like this, like, 60-year-old, like, Indian lady who had just at her bachelor's at party or something. No, she said, she's like, oh, yeah, I'm not going to do the racist accent.

It was like, yeah, I had a bachelorette party last night on Wednesday. Sure, yeah. This one, I don't know why this is so funny to me. I think it's because she did the upside-down smiley face at the end, which is so funny. my dog ran off with our used condom and ate it. Oh, yeah. We have a lot of those. Actually, it's pretty common.

Yes. We hooked up and my dog ate his sandals overnight. I had to drive him home shoeless. Well, at least you got the dick, girl. This girl said I was giving head to my boyfriend on his bed and the dog started licking my feet. This girl writes. Not necessarily a cock block.

Maybe it was like either of this. I don't know. Not necessarily a cock block, but my dog has licked a few buttholes in his day. One time post intercourse, my dog, his dog, oh my God, his dog licked my vagina and he didn't do anything to stop it. But did you do anything to stop it? You thought like you could stop it pretty easily.

Yeah, she's just laying there like, hey, buddy, you're going to do something about this? Or what? You're an animal. We have a submission from Raina. We were having sex and his pug started licking my ass. But was there even two? Was there two? Did you get double penetrated by a dog's child?

That's why you like, too. the old front and back. I do like it. This one time during Sacks, my boyfriend's dog came up and licked my boob, mood killed. I don't want to think a dog could find my boob during, they'd be like, so small.

My cat puked on the bed while I was hooking up with a guy. He was a trash. My cat knew. This one's crazy. We're only talking about cats and dogs, but the guy has a, he let us, he has a snake and forgot he let it loose in the house. There you go.

Sliathered up during sex. I was hoping there'd be some, holy shit. some other animals. Yeah, don't date snake guy. I'm sorry. I'm going to say it. Yeah.

Okay. Oh my God. My boyfriend pulled out and accidentally busted on my cat. No. Oh, there it is. That's a walk-off homer. I don't believe it, but it's fine. We'll end it on that.

We also play a game called sure falls. Your dog, your boyfriend didn't come on your cap, but he came on some post days. Where was the cat that it was in projectile range of the come? No, I don't believe it. That's animal. Also, the reflexes are too. good. No cats just laying there to get in there. Right. Cats. Right. Wichieh. Lain there

ready to take it. Richie does a whole bit about how fast cats are. You can't pin them down. Well, yeah, I do a bit about how it's impossible to fuck a cat. There is more, it's way funny. Can you imagine though if like a guy's like, where should I come and you're like, oh, I'm the cat? Scruffy!

Get scruffy. Whiskers. Okay, guys, well, thank you so much. This has been so incredible. I just, I know that there's so many more questions people have about pets because there's so many more topics we could have discussed, but we'll have to have you back. And you guys listen to, well, you plug all your stuff. Yes, yes. So definitely come. You can follow me on Instagram at Dr. Lisa Lipman.

If you just put in Dr. Lisa, D-R-L-I-S-A, it comes up. I will answer your pet questions or your-verified. I will answer your pet questions. And also we can talk about them on the podcast. You can follow us also at We Don't Deserve Dogs and listen to the podcast. We Don't Deserved Dogs named by Ash. Follow me on everything at Richie Redding. And I put out some very bad news stories every week.

Check out Really Real with Ritchie Redding. It's the best bad news in the business. And above all, just slide into my DMs, ladies. I think we've established that. Amshitz is open. And you guys, your podcast is so great. Are you still doing Shandy? Oh, Shandy.

So there's a segment that they do that is truly one of my favorite segments that I've ever participated in on another podcast, and it's basically this like influencer. She's the worst influencer in the world. The worst influencer that you have your guest reads that Shandy would do is one of my favorite favorite things I've ever done. And you did the most amazing. You were my favorite one actually.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much. You wait. If avocado toast was a person, it would be Shandy. Well, you guys, check out. We don't deserve dogs. Richie, you'll have to be on our show at the stand sometime soon. You guys, so check out on Instagram maybe in March. I don't know, your schedule, March 12, threw you in? Perfect. Okay. And follow

us, Girls Gotteeat Podcast, Instagram. Ash Hess, reina.org, girls got eatpodcast.com for shows. Also, I literally don't care shows.com and girls underscore got to eat on Twitter. And we'll see you next week. Thanks, guys. Have a good week.

Bye. Thank you so much.