Girls Gotta Eat - Are Bad Manners a Dealbreaker?

Episode Date: March 20, 2023

We're talking about the importance of manners out on these dating streets – everything from how someone holds a fork to opening doors to phone behavior at the table to making sure you get home after a date. We have poll results from our audience on what matters/doesn't matter to them, and we're sharing dealbreakers, turn-ons, icks, personal stories, and more. Before we dive into the topics, we're catching up on Rayna's rendezvous with an ex, Ashley's latest date, and fresh TV/movie recs. Enjoy! Follow us @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit our website for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Shop Vibes Only. Thank you to our partners this week: Hello Fresh: Get 60% off + free shipping at hellofresh.com/gge60 and use code GGE60. Native: Get 20% off your first order at nativedeo.com/gge or use promo code GGE at checkout. Athletic Greens: Get a free 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D + 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/gge. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Someone has talked to you all night long with their mouth full. It's not that it's a deal breaker. It's that I'm dried up. Ew. Grow up. Girls got to eat. Coming to you from Rainy, L.A. Yes, we didn't really sign up for this, but here we are.

It has rained more days than not. Also, we have Raina's 2018 voice. This is, I'm a different person than I was yesterday. I know, I'm a little bummed out. You are? No, sorry, I'm happy you're better. I've been sending Ashley, daily voice. be like, girl, how fucked up do I sound?

Yeah, so if you have been around since the early days, the dark ages of girls got to eat, Raina was sick for all of 2018. And I haven't been sick since. Like, I barely got COVID. And then this last nine days, really. You've been sick. You've had those colds. I've had some minor colds, nothing like this.

This, like, really, this humbled me. Yeah. And then I said, Raina, what about the doctor? And sure enough, yesterday you went. You're a new person today. You would not... I just like, I think I'm like a badder bitch to this. I'm like, it's a cold.

Every day for nine days, I've been saying to everybody in my life, like everybody's been so nice, like, acting like this is a big deal. And I know it's just a cold, but everybody's like, how are you feeling? How's your voice? And I'd be like, it'll be over tomorrow. It'll be over tomorrow. It'll be fine tomorrow. And narrator, it was not over tomorrow.

It was nine days. And finally yesterday, yeah, I went to urgent care. and he was like, you have an upper respiratory infection. He said the funniest thing. He said, he looks at my nose and he goes, you foggy. Isn't that the funny? It's like calling somebody dusty. What?

Like your nose is foggy? He said, bitchy. He's fogged up. He goes, you foggy. It really made me laugh. Oh my God. It reminded me of you dusty. But yeah.

That's so funny. It really made me laugh. Oh my gosh. But I'm on a moxacosillin and so. Okay, girl. Go on your moxacus. I got an moxacusin. I got nasal steroids and I got the netty pot.

The netty pot. You were saying you were doing a humidifier and I was just like, you got to get that netty pot selfie. I did this so many years ago. It drips out. Have you ever done it? Goes in one nostril, drips out the other. This is why I'm single.

Because I did one netty pot selfie in 2014. I did. I'll never recover. Well, thank you for making me go. I'm literally a different person today. We have health insurance, bitch. It's not cheap. No, I get in there.

I don't know how it works. What? I went to urgent care. My special urgent care where they squeezed that butthole system. I wasn't going to the West. Probably when I was going to the Venice one. It's so good, though. It's elite.

Next time you'll go. Can't recommend getting your butt cyst popped there enough. No, there's always no weight. You just, you got to. Next time I'll come pick you up. Oh, there was no weight at the Venice one. They just made me wait for an hour. Just your experience.

Because you foggy. So I'm back. I'm back in fighting shape. I think you're going to be, what do you think? You're going to be at a 10 tomorrow? No. What? I mean, you know this whole time I felt like mentally I've been, that's what's so frustrating is mentally I'm fine. I'm a foggy in the brain, foggy in the face. I'm so sick of myself. I'm so sick of talking about this. You've been so nice. You've checked in every day. Like, and it's not an interesting thing. Like, I don't feel bad for people with colds.

It's not some interesting disease that like I'd never heard about before. Well, I do because how much I hate it. Today, we have someone. on our team who hurt her knee and like I cannot feel for her enough. Like when people have something that I've dealt with, I feel it on such a deep level because of how much it brings me down. It takes me out. So that cold, I mean, I said this before, that we need to rebrand colds.

The word cold is not enough for what they really can be. Like they are, the flu and cold, it's like flu's bad, colds not bad. They're bad. These colds recently, these post-COVID colds hit different. They are 10 days. They ruin your life. I'd rather have a couple days of just deathbed, nausea or something, than like the 10 day can't get clear, dripping out.

Like I remember one time I was going to, I think when I had that crazy cold in like 2021 when I was like, couldn't be on the streets without my nose being plugged. I would plug my nose with tissue and then put a mask over it and go to like the vet. Like I couldn't live. that you were validated. Like knives in my throat. I'm going to stop talking about it in like two seconds. I bought those daggers in the throat.

Like daggers in the throat. Like daggers in my throat doubles in size. Your voice sounded crazy. We had to cancel recording last week. I bought my first ever humidifier. I'm huffing the humidifier. I'm taking Advocal to size, everything. And my like other best friend was supposed to stay with me this weekend.

And she did end up coming. But like, I wanted to plan all this stuff. It's so special for me. I haven't seen her in so long. And I've been able to talk to her on the phone that much because you and I are just so busy all the time. And I just like really wanted this to be a great. trip and I just like didn't get to do that for her. You have been getting these colds at an

opportune times because you got it right when your ex was coming to visit. That was so bad. Remember that? We had to set up the studio that day. Remember we had to meet Rob was at the studio? This was like kind of right out of COVID. You were coughing. I was like, get out of here. Get out of here. You were in a bad mood. It was a bad, it was terrible weather. You were in a bad mood about my bad mood. I was like, I can't fucking believe I left the house for this. And then Rob was coming over to help us with the cameras. And like, when one of our friends is helping us with something just out of the goodwill of their heart. I'm not going to complain and not show up. So I showed up. And it was horrible. I was like, get out of here. You got a man coming to town tonight. You sound like shit. You were clear-headed,

though. We did this interview last week. And I was like, Raina, thank you for carrying me on your back. Like, I just felt like, I felt so fine physically. But we did this really great interview for a newspaper in New Haven. So we're coming to New Haven and they interviewed us. And I just couldn't get clear. And so I was just like trying to talk about our shows. And then Raina jumped in. And you really felt sharp and well-spoken. I was like, is she really sick? Wait, I'm so surprised at this, because you just, you were like, you took the first two questions because they're both, I mean, Ashley and I've been doing interviews together for five plus years. We know exactly who's going to answer what questions. And you took the first two and I was like, I'm just going to kick it.

I answered one question and you were like, you're doing so good. I texted you. You're doing amazing, sweetie. If you were not talking shit with your friend on some, like, mode, like, texting when you're doing something else in a meeting, that's not your girlfriend. Should we do an episode? That's not your real friend. That's not your real friend. If you don't roast the absolute shit out of your friend, that's not your real friend. I'm never in a meeting where I'm not talking so much shit with you and the other Ashley that we work with.

I mean, I don't know. Listen, maybe this is like my toxic trait, but I want to make someone break on Zoom. I want to send a text that makes them bust out laughing. And so we'll be texting on like an important Zoom and you see that smile. Someone trying to hold back. And we'll be talking. shit on other people on the Zoom. When someone is sliding down

the Zoom, they're like down here. We're like, are they good? Remember that time we were on that Zoom and that girl was just, she got lower than the whole call? It was like FaceTime with an 80 year old. It was like, you and Ashley were like, is she right?

What I live for is my friends with like real jobs, like corporate jobs? Like Melanie works at like a real company with like a real job. She's like in charge of people. And so like one day in the middle of the afternoon, I said her this like bondage strap, like, lingerie. She was like, fucking hate you. Yeah, it was like one o'clock in the afternoon.

I like making somebody that is like in charge of other people at a real job really buzzed out. Yes. Okay, a couple things. I want to run through. Okay. Was just on the way driving here in the rain. Listening to our episode with Jay Shetty.

So we were on his podcast. Of course, we had him on a few weeks, maybe month or so ago. And then we did go on his podcast at the same time. It just got released so you guys can check that out. And I just, I love it so much. I mean, if you listen to the show, you've probably heard some of these things before. But the interview was so special. He's such an incredible interviewer.

And I love the energy. And I love when we get to be interviewed. Because we do the interviewing. So it's nice to, you know. That was an interviewer. I sat there the whole time just thinking I'm like really proud of this. Like this is like the pinnacle of like what we do. And we've like worked so hard to get here.

We have all this knowledge. And to be able to like spar with somebody like that who is one of the biggest podcast in the world. He's a big self-help person. I mean, he sells out the Chicago theater in the Beacon, just like us. But to be able to just have a meeting of the minds of somebody like that, and I was so proud of that interview and all the questions, I was like, we are nailing it. I like it when you do something like that that you feel really proud of, whether it's

this podcast, for instance, for us or like stand up where you're like, that's my best work. If you don't like it, I'm not for you. You don't like me. Because sometimes like people will critique something. I'm like, yeah, they're right. That wasn't great. But it's just like if you don't like it, then we're not for you. And that's also fine. It's, wait, you won't get this reference. It's Durinda. But she says if you have-

I know who Durinda is. I saw her drunkenly getting into a car one time in York. I love Duranda. But she says, if you have a problem, that's your problem. She says, do you have a problem with me, that's your problem? I'm there rolling those lines. Well, I also like, this is not an original page to sort of a quote, but she says it and she's posted it before. And it's like, I don't want everybody to like me because not everyone has good taste. I love it. And that reminds you of the. the quote that I think was on that what Von Dutch documentary that never underestimate the poor taste of the American people. Yeah. So I just like to say that. Like you don't want to be liked by

everybody. People have bad taste. You don't like everything either. That's why there's tons of content in the world. I think if you don't like us, you do a bad taste. But listen, that's okay. Well, obviously, but people have bad taste. Okay. I moved. I'm in my home and I am just trying to keep everything positive, but it was a journey and it was a lot of moving parts, literally getting out of the broken Airbnb that's falling apart, probably more so now. I don't even know what that roof looks like today as it's raining again. And into my new home that I truly just love so much. I have never loved a home this much. It's so gorgeous. It's so perfect. I had felt like some things felt a little small, like the bedroom, for example, but I don't now. Everything fits. Everything's amazing. There was just

a point over the weekend that I was like, I can't believe I'm doing all this shit alone. Like just the pure amount of like moving stuff around, unpacking, hauling boxes, breaking them down, taking them out to the dumpster, like just so much. I was just like, this is a lot. And I did contract some out. I like task rabbits like in and out, but I still did a lot of it myself. And last night I was just laughing because the house didn't have a microwave, which some houses don't. Whatever.

Yeah. So I ordered a microwave. It didn't fit where I was going to put it. So I am putting this microwave on a shelf that is seven feet tall and I'm not exaggerating. It's above the washer and dryer. And I was like, this is how she goes out. I was like, this is it. This is it for me.

It's 50 pounds. I'm lifting above my head. I'm on a bar stool. And I was like, she died doing what she loved, being strong, independent woman who don't need no man. Just crushed under the microwave. Like, you feel accomplished, but you're also just like, damn, this shit sucks. But it's so rewarding.

And I think of some old homes I moved into when I was younger, where I just would like leave boxes sitting out for, fucking weeks at a time, and I can't do that anymore. It has to get done. I just need to feel, I have to, I go so hard. I have no energy. And I have to unpack these boxes. I have to do this shit. I can't live like this. Absolutely. And I want to say that I did get a king bed in that bedroom. And I know that this came up on a previous episode, but I want to give credit where credit is due. And that is to Kelly. Oh, I thought you were going to credit the person who said that thing. Absolutely. I was like, ew, gross. I'm giving it to Kelly. Because when we did my reading for 2023,

we talked about this before, but she did bring this up. And again, you might think it sounds corny and it doesn't apply to everybody. But she said if you're going to energetically make space and you want to make space in your home, you should try to get a king bed. And I was like, I have a queen, like whatever. But I made it work. Helix sent me a new bed, of course. We love Helix and a new mattress. And I got their frame, which I love. And I made it fit. And it's just kind of, it's a perfect fit. There's not much else in the room, but there's the closets. And then I have a nightstand. And it's just like this little smaller oasis bedroom. And I, I love it. I love the notion of like if you want to have someone in your space to make the physical space for them. And this is not to say that you need this. I have no friends. My fucking college roommate met her husband in a twin ex-out bed. You know, like my friend Brooke, I think she lived in a studio with a double bed when she met her husband. Like this is not this rule. But at this point in my life, I need to sleep with someone in a king bed. And I remember with my ex in Atlanta, I had a queen bed when we started dating. It was like literally my bed from college had been with me since like I was, 19 or whatever. And he just was sleeping over all the time. And I bought a king bed just because it's so much more comfortable in my life to be with somebody in a king. You know me. I need my space. So you're also a foot taller than me. I mean, it's a tall person. So I'm just really happy. I was like going back and forth with Helix even like what size. And I just, I was like, I think I'm going to make this fit. And I just sent like such a cute text to the landlord who she designed this beautiful home. They basically gutted a house and like made it the most beautiful.

beautiful home ever. And I just love texting her like, you're never believe this, but I got a king in there. And she was like, I knew you could. She's like really cute. So I am mostly moved in. I still have some things to get. But I just feel really, really happy in this space. And if you know me, you know, I'm like cancer, sun, cancer, moon. My home is so important to me. And feeling at home in my space and feeling comfortable and Azul loves it. And I'm just really happy. So I'll moved in. And then you're next. I'm really happy for you. It feels so good. I mean, I haven't lived in a house since college. I mean, I've lived in a one-bedroom, tiny apartment, my whole adult life.

So it is nice to just finally have a little space. And also to feel like you made the right decision, you know? Like, leaving a city to move across the country is really scary. And a lot of our listeners ask us about moving. And I want to validate it. It's like a very scary thing to do. And it just feels really nice when you accomplish it. It feels like the right move.

Yeah. And I want to just say this thing. Like, I saw that house. I went to see it. And I was like, no. Nope. I was like not enough closet space. The bedroom's not big enough.

And I was like, the real. the realtor girl who showed it to me was a fan of the show and I really enjoyed her and loved chatting with her. But I was like, I just don't think it's going to work for me. I'll let you know if I changed my mind. And then I just kept thinking about it. I kept stalking in on Zillow. I was like, maybe I could make it work. And I went back to it. So I don't know. My immediate gut reaction was off. And I rethought about it and went back. And I don't know if that speaks to anybody, but that was kind of like sometimes it takes a minute to get out of your head of like, no, I wanted a huge bedroom. And I wanted the closets and did it.

And then you're like, well, maybe I just have to rethink it and make it work because I like all these other things about it because there's perfection, it's hard to find. Yeah, I also have a hard time. This sounds a little woo, but like I have a hard time imagining myself in a space when there's a realtor two feet behind me. Like walking me through something. Right. I did go back to my new house to like take some measurements. I liked it so much better the second time because I asked the got to please stay downstairs. And I was like, you can just chill.

You can just like be on your phone, just chill. And he was so nice. And you couldn't be nicer. but I just wanted to feel my own presence in the house without the presence of a stranger, two people behind me, and it does change the way you feel about a space. So you had a funny analogy, you were like, this is like how we always watch TV at different times. So you're all moved in. I am nowhere near it. I feel like I'm like edging so hard because there's like 100 things that need done.

I mean, actually, I have checklist on checklist. Oh, I know. Look at my cute little checklist. I had a list of deliveries when everything was coming, confirmed, tracking. But you've got to make checkmarks. You know, I don't roll like this. You know, I'm not this level of organ. I'm a crazy organized.

I have to buy. My checklist is sexy. I have to do, to buy. It's a sexy. You've links on your son. Oh, links. That's the difference? I feel like I'm edging towards this orgasm.

I can't quite get there. I'm like itching. But like, so as this episode comes out on Monday, we will have just gotten back from Sacramento. I have gone to Sacramento, flown home for one day. Tomorrow I'm flying to New York. I'm going to do a full pack on my apartment and our studio. I'm going to put all of that on a truck.

Ashley, I do not need her to come with me. She would have done this in a couple weeks with me, but I wanted to do it sooner. and our moving company is going to do a full pack. So it's fine. So I just want to say that. She's not packing out. Well, yeah, we plan to go and do this when we went to New Haven and then you got antsy. And I was like, I'll be there in FaceTime. Yeah, I'll be there for moral support. I'm antsy my pantsy and I'm ready to go. So I am flying in New York on Tuesday. I have to pack two places. I fly back to L.A. on Saturday. Sunday, I have to pack up the Airbnb. Then the movers are coming to the Airbnb to move me into the new place on Monday. And then I have all these deliveries coming Monday and Tuesday. I also have to record on Monday with a great guest. So it's a lot. but I will feel like really settled on Tuesday. I'm like really excited. And I'm exactly like you.

I need all things built and all trash taken out. I'll be up until 4 in the morning. I cannot sleep. Yeah, like I was pushing past a point of exhaustion that was probably not healthy because I was like, I have to get this done. I want to like feel at ease sleeping in this in this house tonight. But while we're talking about homes, I'll just give a quick update on my home buying journey. If you listened to the other week, I said that after that long trip we took,

I then added another trip up to Delaware. aware to see this house. And I didn't get it. I'm upset. You know, I don't know. These things like hurt. I feel like I keep letting you guys down because I'm like, this has been two years. And I'm like, I want this home. I didn't get it. I want this home. I didn't get it. And it's tough. I mean, they accepted another offer. And, you know, maybe that wasn't my house. But I definitely loved it and I could see myself in it. And I flew all the way fucking up there for the day in and out of Philly morning and night. But yeah, that's kind of the update. I just always want to keep you guys updated and not blueball you on this homebine journey. But I'll find one. Hopefully.

and maybe that just like wasn't it. I'm sorry. It's okay. I mean, I was so sick and I said, Ashley, I was like, I didn't even ask you how the house was. Am I good? And you were like, don't ask. Everybody keeps asking. Don't ask.

Yeah. But I mean, my realtor was like, it's weird that the selling agent didn't tell me they had an offer and you could try to up yours. He was like, I just find that kind of strange. Maybe they just got an offer. They couldn't refuse or whatever it was. So he was like so sad to tell me. And we've been on this journey.

He and I for quite a while now. but hopefully it'll happen. But it's just when you don't get it, it's like a punch in the gut. Like I can remember every time, there's only the third time where I've really gone hard, put in the offer, got everything I needed from the bank, you know, where I can remember where I was. I remember being in Minneapolis with the first house. I remember how it feels when you're like you didn't get it. It sucks.

It hurts. Of course it hurts. And this is for me, you know, I already have a place to live. This is like a home that like I would potentially rent and live in one day. so it's not like I'm not so desperate, but I feel for people that are like really trying to buy their first home and like can't get it. And now mortgage rates are so much higher. It's just like I just have sympathy for anyone on this roller coaster. You just get your hopes up so much. I remember I lost that apartment once that I was going to rent and I was crying in our agent's office. We barely knew them. It was so embarrassing. So it does just really hurt, you know, of course. Okay, Raina, I have an update that you have not given. That was so funny.

What? So if you guys heard Raina's art gallery story from a couple weeks ago, when we were at this, I mean, you have to go back, listen. Someone said it was like out of the sitcom, this bar gallery story. We were at the pool in Miami and you go, Ashley. Well, okay, so I've gone to this art gallery that I like. I met this guy. I thought he was so mainly asking me for my number and my email address for the

gallery's like information. And then he suggested going to this like art show. And so I drove to the art show and I was talking to that words. You guys have to go listen. So when was this three weeks ago? Yeah. Okay. So you were like, oh my God, I just got a voicemail from the art gallery.

And we were like dying. We were just like, oh my God, what is it going to be? We were freaking out. We thought it was going to be that guy. And then what was it? It was the owner of the gallery and he referenced the other guy. And he was like, you gave your number to so-and-so. Dog name.

And I was like, God damn it. And then they were having an event, which I would have gone to, but we were away. But I feel like I'd have no shame in this situation anymore. I don't care. Of course I'd show up to an art show. I didn't call them back and just be like, when's the next one? Yeah. When's he going to be there?

So we've had a couple of family dogs in our life. And my close friends who I've been friends forever know all those names. And my one friend goes, was his name Rusty? And I'm like, loki forgot we had a dog named Russ. It is such a dog. Okay. It's not a rusty. I was like, oh my God, Rusty.

That was like our first time. I feel like this name is worse than Rusty. Rusty is not it for me. I mean, the other name is worse. Rusty? Like, yeah, I guess Rusty's going to fix your car. Yes, it's giving like, I can at least the welder. He's going to weld.

Yes, welder's going to weld. Also, am I just saying that because of Rust? Because it sounds like Dusty. Or Rusty could be like he's a surfer. It just sounds like something that like someone who can like do stuff is named. named, like, can help me, like, paint a wall. Right, like, find me a New York finance brodame Rusty. Can't do it.

In a Patagonia vest. It doesn't exist. Also, what is Rusty short for? Rustifer. No, it's not. That's a name. Did you make this up? Rustifer, like, Christopher.

I'm lying. I was going to say Rustin. Just, you know, I love an Austin. No, Rustifer is not a name. I mean, it could be. Anything could be a name. I don't know. I think it's just a name.

nickname. Anything could be a name, Ashley Hasseldye. Our dog, Rusty, fully bit people. It was such a liability. He was my grandfather's dog and then my grandfather died and we had to take this dog. And it was such a liability. I mean, anybody named Rusty is going to bite you. Dogs, people, all of them. Okay. So we actually just wanted to take a brief moment and address an episode from two weeks ago at this point where our guest was Lewis House. We received feedback on this episode and wanted to take a minute and recognize that and talk to you guys about it. So let's talk about it. Yeah. We just want to validate some of the comments. We know that some of the things that were said were not received in a really positive light. And although we vet all the guests, you know, I get on the phone with them ahead

of time, I pre-interview them, I pitch some questions and we try to come up with what the tone and the feel of the interview is going to be. And although Ashley and I felt like in that room, he was really speaking from his own experiences, his own trauma, what works in his own life. Some of the takeaways were not received so positively. So we just want to validate what you guys said. Yeah, this is not some sort of character assassination, trying to drag anyone's name through the mud. But you guys are important to us. And when you overwhelmingly say a thing, we want to recognize that.

This being said, some of you may be like, what are you talking about? I love that episode. You know, we got some messages that people loved it, some comments that people loved it. It was their favorite episode, but more overwhelmingly, people felt like there was some misogynistic comments and some of the ways that he spoke about women or his exes. And we were caught off guard by some of the things as well. We regret not pushing back on some things that were said. And we also felt like there was some positive takeaways that would be received well

and that you guys would like. If we felt like an episode was a total piece of dog shit, we wouldn't put it out there. But upon reflection and really hear what you guys had to say, it's been quite a learning experience and we do realize that it was a miss for a lot of people and we hear you and see you and agree with a lot of it. And we want to be better at pushing back in the moment or not air in an episode if we don't feel like it's appropriate and not feeling pressure to do so. Yeah. And we're not saying this is like a bad person. It's just a learning experience for me as well to push back on stuff because we want you guys to feel like this is a really safe, non-judgmental, open,

fun show and that the guests are a part of that message as well. Yeah, we don't bring guests on for controversy or to stir things up or make people feel negatively or angry. And so when that happens, that's not our goal or our intention. And we, again, really just wanted to validate the feedback. And we will do our best to make sure something like this doesn't happen again. This isn't the outcome that we want with our guests. And we feel you. consider us having taken the note. Yeah. Okay, Raina time.

We like to keep you guys updated about what's just going on in our lives and we really had so much to talk about last week. We didn't really get to this, but I just wanted to kind of like talk about something that happened where in Florida. A little experience I had and that was that I invited an ex of mine to come stay with me for a couple days at the hotel in Miami.

And it was nice. He is somebody I dated years ago and I have dated on and off for years. He's like my Charleston ex, who I spent like Christmas and New Year's with over like COVID and things like. that. And people are like, well, why? It's just, why can't you just be together if you like each other? It's like, I don't know. I'm an adult and I realize we don't want any of the same things in life.

And that's it. I can still really enjoy a person and he knows me really well and we talk all the time. And the sex is good. And we don't want the same stuff in life. So we had a Trist in Miami. It was really nice to see him. He came and stayed with me at the hotel for a couple days. I don't know. It made me feel a lot of feelings. It made me really miss having like a romantic partner in my life, like a real partner, like a teammate that like really knows you. that like when you wake up naked next to the person, it's not like weird and uncomfortable, awkward. It's not like this one night stand. Somebody who like really deeply knows you who's like holding you like that.

And I really just, I enjoyed watching him with other people. Like I like watching him talk to like bartenders and wait staff, which we'll talk about today. But I like the way he kind of is in the world. And I don't know. It was nice to have that experience. It made me very happy and also very sad. I took a break from him and came into your room while we were at the hotel. And you're like, how is it?

I like burst into tears. And it's just, it's interesting to have those people in your life that you care about, but it's not going to be a long-term relationship. And I don't, I wouldn't say I regret, like, doing it. It was, I was sad for a few days, but it didn't, like, re-trigger wounds or anything like that. But it did really make me, like, want a partner and miss having those things a lot. It's funny, like, we, the last night together, I was, like, laying in bed and I started crying. I was crying. And he was like, why are you crying? And he was like, we had such a good couple days together. And I was like, I'm crying because we had such a good couple days together. And it's just funny how like men and women process things differently. He's like, what is the problem? Well, he's never cried in his life. Oh. He would never. I mean, also I turned a corner on this guy.

You know, I was never thrilled about him. I just didn't really feel like he's not a bad person. I just didn't think he was a good match for Raina. I've like, you know, subtly talk shit on him for years. Yeah. And, you know, I did end up. I really enjoyed him. He laughed at my jokes.

He said I was pretty. He brought his dogs. So that won me over. Honestly, I'm very easy to win over. I will talk so much shit. And then I'll be like, oh, that's fine. But you guys don't want the same thing in life, but when we really dig into it and you and I discuss this stuff, he's not the type of communicator you want either. You know, it's really like when you're younger me doing this too, I don't want to come off like condescending. Like I, you know, I've realized my own growth too. And I don't know if you feel the same way. But like, yes, you don't live in the same place. You want different lives. But even when you boil it down to like what you kind of want in a partner when it comes to communication style or different things like that, even like sexually, it's not the right match for you. And I think sometimes when you haven't really figured yourself out or what you want, you try to make those things work.

Totally. You just will try anything. You're like, mountains for it. Yeah. Like you're like, they make me feel good. And you don't really think about the other things. And you can go down a road where it does ultimately fail. Of course, it could work.

But it's nice to know that it's not just the logistics and the lifestyle. It's other stuff too. And you can reflect on that and just be like, that's not my person. But I enjoy him. And he's, you know, nice to be around. Great to look at. It's great. Yeah, great to look at.

He was hotter than I remembered. I think it's a good point. Yes, I actually probably, my whole life and I probably will continue to, move mountains if it's like just logistics. If it's just like somebody wants to live on the West Coast, I would live on the East Coast. Logistics. What do I say? You go so hard on lodge. Lodges.

I don't keep going. You said something that made me laugh. You said give it a twirl. You meant give it a whirl. Did I write twirl? Torrel. That's so funny. I really had a nice little chuckle out loud of my bathroom about it.

Wait, hold on. No, let's give it a whirl. God damn it. You know, we got receipts. I wasn't trying to have like a gotcha moment, but I don't care. I don't care. Now I'm going to start. Tesla, let's give it a twirl.

I thought she said twirl. I like banked it. I was like, that's so funny. I like word twirl. That's a fun thing to say. Okay, so. But yeah, I mean, I think that even if we were in. And he knows this too.

If he listened to this, he wouldn't be like, I think we're perfect communicators. Like, I mean, he says one word for every 500 words I say. And that's true. He's a little more of like a quiet, serious, like reserved Southern man. I want somebody that's just going to spar with me nonstop. I want nonstop talking and banter. And I find I'm a different version of myself around. I'm not a bad version, but I'm needier physically.

I feel like I hang on him more. And I'm like annoyingly a little more needy and like clawing on his body than like the average person I've done. dated because probably I don't hear verbally as much. He's not giving you enough. Yes. Yeah. And he does, I mean, you know, like the minute he left. He called me. I was like, thank you so much. That was so wonderful. You're wonderful. That was great. But I guess I don't get as much verbal affirmation. And so I like lean on the physical, which is bad. And I realized it in two days that it turns me into somebody that just like kind of needs to be on top of a person all the time. And that's not good.

So yeah, I do think that there's places for people in our lives that just they blow in and out over time as long as you can be realistic about it. You know? And I guess, that's my advice for other people is like, you know, should you sleep with an ex? I don't know. What's it going to do to you? Right. I was sad for a couple days. I really was. And you kept checking me like, how do you feel? And after three days, the sadness dissipated and I felt better. Uh-huh. Yeah. I think those things like from my life experience at this point and trying to do these things like fit around peg into a square hole and, you know, trying to make things work just because you like like somebody enough. You have fun. You're attracted to them. Like I always can just see how it's

going to end. Not you, but like in general. And like this will end back. And you won't be able to look back at it positively. You know, like, it'll get to a point where it's not so hot and fresh anymore. And then you're like, I don't know. This is not the right person for me. And it's almost like a go out while you're on top kind of thing. You know, like preserve the fun memories instead of like trying to make this thing happen that will never work. And then looking back on it as like, man, we really, you know, Tom Brady shouldn't have played that last season, you know.

Oh, ruined his whole career. It's a tire after the Super Bowl win. You know? Yes. It's true and I recognize that like we're all trying to change our partners a little bit in some ways if you think it's going to make their lives better or make you a healthier relationship together. But I don't really want to change somebody at their core. I want to just buy the item in front of me. I want a ready made item, you know? I don't want to spend all my time telling somebody I don't like the way that you interact with the world or interact with me. And once I decide those things, I can't like unring the bell. And I know that I become, I'm a huge unrelenting nag when I decide. I don't like the way you are in a certain way. And it spirals really badly out of control for me. So it's good to just know in the beginning. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So anyways, I just, we'd like to keep you guys update about what's going on.

So that was Miami. And I am glad that you turned a corner on him. It's, you know, you want to feel like you bring up somebody and your friends don't hate the person that they validate you want to talk to somebody sometimes. I see you guys. I mean, listen, I love to make jokes. I love to talk my shit. And I got in the zone of like roasting him.

And it's playful too. Like, I don't hate this person. I don't know him enough to hate him. but I just got in the zone and my final thing. Like, I could, it just kept flowing out of my body. You're pulling up to the hotel where he was waiting for me. And I said this thing and Randy goes, Ashley, and then you bust out laughing quarter. I've never seen you laugh.

And I was like, got her. Like, I loved that you wanted to like be mad at me and draw a boundary. But I was ready. It was such a good joke. I was like, at what point am I going to be like, all right, enough, bitch. I've had enough of this. Okay. I've had enough.

Talking shit on them. It's been endless. We get it. Everyone gets it. You hate them. And then I just, you really dropped the highest joke of the summer. I just dropped the mic and you were just like, damn it. And I was like, have fun. Look, and then the next morning, it was all good. And he's fine with me, you know? Great. I talk a lot of shit, but it's easy to win over, like I said. You really? You're so soft. You went soft. I'm fogged up.

But I went on a date, too, in Miami, which is kind of fine. funny to like, you know, go on a date with somebody. I live in L.A. now. He lives in New York and to go on a date in Miami. And this, it was a friend of a friend, someone that's like actually been asking you out for a while in the DMs. It's 2020. Not like relentlessly, but the first time he messaged me was 2020. It was a really nice compliment. And you've never met him, but he's like the friend of your friend, more than his friend. He's her friend. And it was fine. I mean, I definitely felt more of a friend vibe just to say friend for the millionth time. But super nice guy. The place we went was like, really.

really one of my favorite date places I've been. And when we're in Miami, we stay in the south of fifth neighborhood, which we absolutely love. My good friend, Laura, has a condo, now Rana's friend, too, but has a condo down there, and we'll stay at a hotel down there. And we just love all the restaurants. And it's like a quieter part of town. And we breakfast and lunch at Pure Vita every single day. And eight or six times in four days. It's truly one of my favorite neighborhoods in America. I love it so, so much. But it's like the places there can be a little bougier down there. Like, I don't know. There's just not like dive-ier places, but he chose this spot called the scapegoat. And Laura was like, oh yeah, it's definitely like a more casual spot.

Just like wear, you know, wear jeans, whatever, like, flip-ops, whatever you want to do. And I loved it so much. It was like dark and sexy. I wouldn't really call it divey, but certainly not like, bougie. And like the music was incredible. I was like, did you put my playlist on?

Did you pull up my Spotify and put my songs on? It was just like that late 90s, early 2000s like hip hop. And it was funny. I was like, I've never heard it. But it was a perfect volume. You know, you want to be on like on a date. Volume is so important. I don't want to be screaming.

I don't want to leave a date in my throat hurts because we've had to screamer of the music. And I made a joke. I was like, I've never heard Pity Pablo this medium of a volume. Like, it was like the best music. Medium of a volume. Like North Carolina was just like a nice volume. And just perfect cocktails, great service. And like, again, this wasn't a love match.

But I had such an enjoyable time just chatting with them, A, but like, in the spot. I love a good date spot. I'm laughing because I can't believe you went. We had to go on the tour the next day. I was so spent from, like, the wedding, four nights, five nights in Miami. We'd just gotten Joe Stonecrab. We, like, ate all this food. I was, like, so ready to, like, just, like, tuck in and just, like, have a glass

one with her and sit on the couch. And, like, you, like, put on an outfit, like, when I had to talk to a stranger, I was like, she is really doing it. She's getting after it. Yeah. I mean, listen, I'm trying to find somebody. So I'm going to put myself out there. One thing I will say that was so funny, and I'm realizing this is the thing I really

enjoy is we were coming home. We did this really great dinner at Carbone. and you would got a bunch of outfits sent from Revolved. And you were pretty drunk. You were so chatty. You were like especially chatty Raina drunk. It was so cute. And I was like, when we get back to the house, can you try on all these clothes?

Raina, you're so brave. I was so full. I felt sick. I had a hangover the next day from food, not from alcohol, from food. I mean, it's all carbs. Carbs, carbs. I wouldn't have been able to fit into anything. And you tried on all these outfits.

You came out kind of drunk. You modeled everything. And then you passed out on the couch with Laura snuggled up in the outfit that you then wore to Tampa and Miami. You passed out in your show outfit. Back to my roots. I'm wearing the same outfit for a bunch of those. I can't stop laughing about you passing out in the show outfit. And I'm sitting there having a glass of wine being like, I can't believe she's doing this.

She's so brave. I was just like I'm waiting for to say brave. And then the other night I'm at Kate and J's and Kate's talking about all these new bikinis she bought. And I was like, model them. And she did. And I was like, well, I love this so much. I feel like a proud mom. Like when you take your daughter shopping and then you're like,

honey, give us a fashion show? Like, did you ever come down and like trying your clothes for your parents? Does my mom seem like the kind of person that would be cool? She's not like your mom. Well, I would try my new outfits like for school for my parents and like do a fashion show. I didn't even realize how much I wanted it. You were so into it.

Laura was like, fashion show. And I was so excited. I got six albums. I was like, are you guys sure you want this? And you were like, all of them. Do all of them.

And wait, can I just share how crazy this was? Okay, so I ordered this outfit. It was still in the box. And I said, I'm looking at it and I was like, Ashley, I just like, I'm going to give you this outfit, I think, I'm looking at it.

It's so crazy. It's exactly like you. It's so you. And you were like, I literally brought this outfit. I'm going to wear it on this trip to wear to Miami. Yes. So weird. And then on top of that, I had had a dream about it.

This is so bizarre. Like, it was this tight orange jumpsuit. And the night before I had a dream that you were going to wear it. And I was like, no, Raina, that's what I'm wearing to the show. Is that not so bizarre? And we like got in a weird fight. Like, when we have anxiety about like shows and stuff, it'll be like, that we aren't prepared or you and I get to fight before a show or something like that.

And we were kind of arguing back and forth in my dream over this outfit. And I was like, I'm not kidding, Rain. I've had that since like November. I set you a selfie in it. You know I have this and you're like, no, you don't. And then the next night you like throw it at me. You're like, do you want this? And I'm like, it's in my suitcase.

And then lo and behold, put it on an hour before the Miami show, the butt splits. So I didn't even get to wear it. Like my ass is that big. I'm just splitting pants. No, it was a good outfit for you. It's not you. It's not you. And I had sent the outfit back because I could have given you the backup.

Yeah. But that was really great. I probably didn't need that medium, to be honest. That fabric is really thin. No one looks good. It's not flattering. I'm glad it's split. And then you had an outfit that looked like a Kinsenara dress that you decided on to wear.

And that's why you pulled out the outfit from a couple nights before that you also fell asleep in. Yeah. This is back to my roots like in Philly where I wore the same black jumpsuit three nights in a row. I was like, who cares. But I feel like some of our friends who are like fashion girls really like inspired me to like really just like dig deep be a fashion girl. So I want to do different stuff for every show. I want you guys to be excited about. about what we wear at every show.

And Ashley is always dressed up for the shows. I have a little bit, but I haven't, like, really cared that much. And I've really enjoyed it, like, the last year. Just like really shopping for some crazy shit for every show. The real ones may remember Raina's blazer phase. Raina, you call it a phase. It was every single show. Blazer era.

Raina would wear skinny jeans and a heel, a pump. And a blazer. I like the look, but it was very business. It was every app. It was every single live show, and we're talking about sucking dick in your skinny jeep in the blazers. Looking like you're going to Salesforce to present. You're like sexy ad rep. Can I saw you a Salesforce membership?

I got it together. I have a couple quick wrecks. Okay. Plain movies. Okay. One plane movie, one Netflix movie. I watched Ticket to Paradise on the plane. Julia Roberts and George Clooney

and loved it cute. Recommend it. Perfect Plain movie. Love Julie Roberts. Love George Clooney's just to look at Oh, isn't it like a sequel to Ocean's 11? No. Not a sequel, but like it's not like somewhere they used to be married

and like they're married in Ocean's 11 and they get to... Oh. I mean, I don't think so. It's not supposed to be any kind of nods to that at all. It's just a total like fluffy rom-com kind of. Okay, because they're married in Ocean's 11 and then they're forgot about that. I just. I just didn't know if it was some kind of like nod to that. Maybe it's a nod, but not connected.

Okay. I could be wrong, I guess. And then this movie on Netflix, I loved it so much. It came on 2022. I never knew about it. It's called Look Both Ways. It has Lily Reinhardt, Luke Wilson, Aisha D, who is from the Bold Type Cat,

who plays like the best friend, similar character. Luke Wilson is so funny. Like, really great cast. I love the acting. The acting feels really natural. And it's just such a good movie. So what happens is she, she early on in the movie, Lily Reinhart sleeps with her friend,

like her guy friend, right at the end of college. They were just like studying and then they're like, we should fuck. You know, and so they like, fuck. And she thinks she might be pregnant. So she basically takes a pregnancy test at this party. And then the rest of the movie is both lives if she was pregnant and if she wasn't. Oh, I like this concept. And it shows both the whole time.

You love those books when you're a kid, that she's your adventure books. It looks kind of like that. It's kind of a little twirl of fantasy at it because it like shows both. But like full life kid at 22. and full life moving to L.A. with her best friend and starting a career and like the paths that they diverge. And I loved every second of it. I have no notes. It's 10 out of 10. And one thing that I just really liked is that while they do show this like child aspect of it and family and, you know, dating and falling in love, like the career is a big part of it. And she kind of when she

figures her career out in both lives, like her life changes for the better. And I just love that. Not everything is about love and romance, and that's part of it too. But I loved it, you guys. Look both ways on Netflix. I really enjoyed it and then take it to Paradise if you're on a plane and they have it. Or if you're not. I'm going to look it up. I'm going to look it up if this has anything to do with a nod towards that.

Okay, okay, I have four wrecks. Oh my God. I'm really going to shock you with some of them. Okay, so I really, I love the Pamela Anderson documentary on Netflix, just about her life, thinks she's really interesting and well-spoken. And her son produced it. Brandon, if you're a fan of the Hills. And then I really found it interesting, the Murdoch.

documentary, The Murdoch Murders. Really fascinating family, they've just left a trail of bodies around them. And because they are so involved in the law, they've been district attorneys and lawyers, et cetera, they sort of have been above the law. So it's pretty sick to see the stuff that they've gotten away with that family in general. So sad, but an interesting story. I'm watching a docu series on Netflix called Full Swing. It's about professional golf. What? I'm really enjoying it. Is it like spicy? It's kind of spicy. And the guys are hot. Golf. Golf. Golf. Professional golf. It's about the PGA Tour and Liv Sports, which is Saudi Arabia launched a golf league, and it's supposed to compete with the PGA Tour. Sorry, I'm blacking out. What are you? And the PGA Tour kicked all these players off for basically signing with the Saudi Arabia Golf League. It's really interesting, you guys. Sounds so dope.

It sounds dope as hell, girl. Go off with your golf doc. Okay. And what's number four? Okay, this is a great one for you. I'm really excited for you to watch it. It's called This Is Where I Leave You. Oh. Do you know about this? Well, okay.

So it's exactly. Wait, do I? Am I seen China Honda? It just came out. Oh, just came out on what? I don't know who was ever in theaters. It just got released on Netflix this week. I guess I saw previews when I was in theaters.

Maybe it was in theaters. So it's very similar to the Family Stone. It's an all-star cast. The father. Is that Tina Faye? Let me just read you the whole cast. All right. It's just jealous because she can't read my computer.

but I can read hers. Ashley can literally be talking shit on me in front of me. She'd be like, I'm ending the podcast at the end of this interview. And I'd be like, I don't know. This is where I leave you. It's very much like the family stone. The father of the family dies and all four kids come home for the funeral. Jane Fonda's the mom.

Jason Bateman, Tina Faye. Adam Driver. They're the siblings. Jane Fond is the mom. Rose Byrne is in it. What? Connie Brighton. Catherine Hahn.

Like, all star, all star cast. So funny. So, like, deep. And it's just, it's beautiful. It's a great movie. movie. I love it. Wait, is it on Netflix? Did you already say that? Yeah, it's on Netflix. Okay. It's like the Family Stone, but funnier. Totally. I mean, when you're even had you not said that and you were describing the movie, I would have thought, Family Stone. So,

yes, exactly that. I think you're going to love it. It's an easy watch two hours. Those are Rex. Okay, love it. We haven't had Rex since so long. I know. Also, we haven't really been watching anything. I don't have a TV right now. I can't talk about it. My movers from New York showed with my TV, no cord, no feet, no remote. I said, this TV's incomplete. There's no feet. I was incomplete. It was just propped up against the wall. Like, it was on the street. You ever see a TV on the street? You're like, where's the cord? What am I supposed to do with this? Listen, I'm having a really good time today. I really am having a good time today. Me too. Me too. Okay, Manners. Topic. Did you know that when I was a kid, my mom sent me to Charm School because I had bad manners.

You've been to Charm School. This memory unlocked the other day where my table manners were so bad. And my parents threatened me to go to Charm School. And they actually sent me. And then they got Aunt Kathy to send Lindsay to. And Lindsay was like, why do I have to go? Ashley's the rude one. And we had to go to this manor school.

Was Lindsay ever rude a day in her life? No. No. She didn't deserve this. Because our parents were, you know, best friends, Lindsay got roped into it. And we had to go to this, like, class. This is so funny. And like learn a lot.

How old were you? Young, young. Like, I mean, I don't even know. Elementary school, but, like, I knew what to do. I just didn't do it. I just was like, I don't want to eat like that. I want to be bad. And, like, I just finally, like, my parents sent me off. How this is so crazy. Wait, sent you off, like, no, I think it was like once a week, you know, for like a month. I don't really remember. I would say, I wouldn't hate doing it now. What? I just want to know what I'm doing wrong. You know? I'm not going to change my behavior. But, I mean, I think I am polite and kind and always try to do the right thing. And we were talking about this manners episode. We asked you guys, we always poll questions. We got these responses. And we're thinking about our own dates. And I really feel like so much this falls into two buckets. It's like, is this a personality trait and you're kind of rude or is this correctable? And it's just maybe the way you were raised or, you know, the environment you came from and is this easily correctable. So that's what I kept thinking about so much throughout all of this. I mean, like, we're going to talk about a lot of things today. So we're going to talk about table manners and just kind of have some fun with that one. And then we're going to talk about things like phone at the table. And then we're going to talk about things like, you know, making sure you get home okay and all these types of and chivalry and things like that. But bad table manners as an adult are pretty bonkers to me. Like, again, like I'm saying, I was a fucking kid who didn't give a shit.

And I still eat really fast and I still feel like, you know, I might get excited and talk with food in my mouth every once in a while. Like, I know how to fucking act. But I want to speak about this in the right way. Like, it's not something that comes with money or status. Like, you don't need those things to have good manners, right? Like, as an adult, you've been through the world, even if you grew up with nothing. And that doesn't matter either, you know, it doesn't cost money to have manners. And so it's interesting to me.

And you've been through school, you know, for the most part. And I'm talking, you know, I know there can be cultural differences and extenuating circumstances, of course. But we said this early on in the podcast where I went out with that guy and he held his fork, like, he fisted it and, like, shuffled it into his mouth. And I was like, how do you know? not see around you in this restaurant that people aren't eating like this. And like, how did you not learn this?

And, you know, from all I knew, you came from a, you know, normal family enough. Like, it's kind of crazy to me. It's crazy to me to, like, talk fully with your mouthful of food. Because some of this stuff is so nuts as you are an adult. You're 30 plus and you're acting like this in a restaurant. It blows my mind. I also don't know how the women before me did not correct this for me. Right, right.

Like, how has nobody said anything to you about this? So it's sort of like harmless. It's not like a huge offense the way some other things are. Like when you are really rude. I don't know if you can correct it. Like I'm just, like I said before, I'm not trying to change anybody. I was thinking like if I went on a first date with something, they just had really bad table manners.

Number one, I would never say anything. You know, it's just not my business to like change that. It's awkward also. It's awkward and I can't stop staring at it, but I'm certainly not saying anything. If I was really blown away by a person, I might like settle in her a couple dates and be like, I'll make fun of you. Well, like a nice way. Yeah, like I wanted to ask you that.

and our audience as well, and we'll read some poll results of, like, is this a deal breaker? It's like, no, I guess. Like, I'm not really going to really like somebody and end it because they can't hold the fork. There's different levels to it too, right? Like, the stuff that comes from money that I don't necessarily care about is like if there's three forks and three spoon and there's like five cups. Some people really don't know what the fuck each one of those things is for. And I don't fucking care. I don't need.

But, like, you got to be able to hold a fork normally. And like, I have to be able to take you in public with me. Like I remember Kate going out, before she was married, we were both on these streets dating, and we had nicknames for everybody. And I remember her going out with this guy who gestured with this fork and knife. It's kind of scary, for one. A knife is flying around. I talk with my hands, too. I don't have utensils in.

I don't have a steak knife waving it around. She was like dodgy him. You know, like, oh my gosh, this stuff is so crazy. I don't want to be like too hard on people, but like it's, and I'm not saying it's a hard deal breaker for. me. Roodness across the board towards me or staff. Deal breaker, we'll talk about all those things, but it would give me pause maybe. Okay.

Well, should we do our poll results? Yeah. Okay. So I always like to see how many people. So we had about 10,000 people. Okay. Did these answers. And we asked, are bad table manners on a date, a deal breaker, or could you work with

it if you like someone? 58% said deal breaker. And 42% said, I'll work with it. Yeah. If I really enjoyed somebody's company, like really, they just made me laugh. And maybe they just, I don't know, maybe they're just socially awkward and they eat a little weird. I'll work with it for two to three dates. Well, right, I want to be sensitive to it.

You could have someone who is on the spectrum maybe, you know, some things are a little bit more of a challenge. Like, I want to keep all this stuff. I'm kind of saying like those things removed also. Again, like I just don't want to be offensive. But again, when we talk about this stuff, we know there's exceptions to. rule just with everything we say. So I also keep it in perspective that like of the myriad of things that you can do that's shitty, eating weird is not one of them. Like I think there's a thousand things that you can do that are like really bad that I don't like. If the worst thing about a person is

you're like a little sloppy at a table, like I'm going to go out with you again and I will make fun of you a little bit down the road. Ashley and I believe in positive reinforcement. I can make funny jokes about something and still make you feel good about yourself. But yeah, if that's the worst thing about somebody. And listen, I'm getting older, okay? The pool is drinking. Yeah, but I got to take what I can get. But also, we're getting older. You should have learned it by now. Yeah. I will say there is some things that are just going to turn you off and you don't want to fuck that person. So someone has talked to you all night long with their mouthful. It's not that it's a deal breaker. It's that I'm dried up. Ew. Grow up. Grow up. Okay. So let's just kind of

move on from table banners, right? Have anything else to say? Okay. So let's talk about just opening doors. You know, I think there's two different things here. I think there's two different things here. there's opening a door into a restaurant bar, whatever, a door door, and there's like opening the car door, different levels. I think that you're going to be not shocked, but the results for these two, very different. Okay. Like, we just said a male date. Like, relationships can look however you want. But, you know, we're coming at this from two women who date men.

So do you want your male date to open the door for you, regular door, again, into a restaurant, for example? 67% said yes. 33% said they don't care. And then do you want your date to come around and open the car door for you? 26% said yes and 74% said no. So this is about what I thought. I'm also like, I just need to say this up top. Look, of course we're feminist, equality, all the things. But like, this stuff is nice. And like, it took me five times the time and money to get ready for this date. Open the door. Those are just polite. So I'm not that strong. I know. I can't open a lot of doors. I know. Doors and keys. Some of them are really heavy. I can't with doors. Yeah. You also don't have to open water bottles.

I'm not going to sit in a fucking car while you walk around and open my door, okay? If that's what you want, fine. Oh, wait, hold on. I'm not doing it. Oh, sorry. You're thinking, oh, my gosh, okay, let's break the sound even further. You mean, you're sitting. Oh, I mean, when you get out of the car, I mean, I'm in the car.

That's crazy. It's so, no shade. I'm sure people have their parents do this and it's very cute and I'm not shading it. You want to sit in the car and have your door open? Go off. Well, like, someone's my chauffeur? My parents are the last people that would ever do that. They'd be like, bitch, get your own door.

It's funny because I can't sit there. Like, even when we have even just a black car or we have a driver on occasion, they want to open the door and I'm already out the car. Like they come around. They're like, can you let me. You're already out the game. You out the game. But I meant like you go out to the car.

You're walking out of the restaurant to the car and they open your door. I thought of this differently. I don't care about either of these things. If somebody does it for me, that's really neat. Okay, here's the thing. If physically you are so close to me and we're walking towards, all these scenarios need to happen all in. If we're walking towards the car, we're on the driver's side,

we're holding hands, you're right next to me. The car's unlocked and you grab for the handle for me and open the door for me. That's really nice. I don't need it otherwise. I don't like zero gestures. You know, I don't, I like some. I like to feel that feeling, you know, a little bit of being protected, a little bit of being taken care of.

Like, I don't want none of it. I don't want never a door open, you know, like I think I'm trying to think of an X where we obviously went out. We worked together for a while. We went out all the time. Like, it was on occasion. You know, we weren't going on a nice dinner. He would open the car door for me, but I didn't expect it all the time. And big to me is you walk on the street side of the sidewalk. I was just going to bring it up to you. You better walk on the street side of the sidewalk. If you physically move me to the inside, I am wet. I have taken so long to get ready for this date. You're getting hit by the car first. I paid too much in Sephora to get hit by a car today.

No, seriously, this outfit is not car proof when you get hit by the car. I just, I'm thinking of all the dates I went on in New York and I noticed it every time. And if you guys don't know what we're talking about, I mean, I don't even know if I knew about this until I was like a little bit older in life. I don't think I knew about this in college. So I'm just explaining it is that when you're walking the streets, so you're in a city or wherever it is, the guy walks on the street side. So you're like on the inside. You're like protected. And I remember being on a day with a big dude that physically I could feel him kind of move me gently so he would be on the outside.

And I was like, oh, you're going to blow job tonight, sir. Yeah, it turns me on. It's nice. I want to be taking care of in a way that doesn't feel oppressive. And so, like, to me, it's like my ex-I was with last week is Southern. So, yes, it's always like open the door for me. When the waiter comes out with menus, he hands me the menu. Like, he pulls chairs out, doors, whatever.

But it's not in a way that's, like, annoying. Or I'm like, come, leave me alone. You know what I mean? That's funny that you said chairs out. I mean, yes, there's a high level of this that is uncomfortable to me, but also no shade if you like this. And that's, you know, pulling the chair out, standing up when I stand up. That's very old school. You know, like pretty woman. Like she stood up and they all stood up, you know, and she was like, what? I'm just going to the bathroom. You know, there's just some of that too. But also if that's like what you're into, then that's fine. But to me, I'm like, I think I'm kind of the same with most of our listeners. I'm kind of in the middle. Sometimes it feels like you're with somebody that it's not even on their radar or they're purposely not doing it and I don't want that feeling. I would rather somebody be overly polite, more manners than none because most of the people that I'm going to go out with are smart. And so I'm assuming you know this is not like how you treat your, is this how you treat your mom? Like, it feels like it's almost purposeful that you're not doing it. It's just like I don't need to do this stuff for her.

And it turns me off a little bit. Yeah. Because I feel like you're too smart to be acting like this. Yeah. I mean, all these things like, I don't know. I mean, Rayne and I are elder millennials. I mean, And, you know, we're with the times as much as possible, but I'm sure people could be listening to this and being like, no, like, that's dated and gender roles and yada, yada. It's like, I don't know. Feels nice. It feels nice. I don't know.

And then while we're here, let's just talk about the poll for money. And we've talked about this on so many different episodes. We don't need to deep dive into paying. But what do you prefer in a first date? I just found it interesting. 82%. He pays 17%. We split 1%.

I pay 57. 57 votes. She's paying. I just don't want it to be weird. And I've had like situations with people. They like make it really weird. You know me. I don't mind splitting. It's fine. I'm trying to like get out of that culture. But I also don't mind it. But if somebody makes it weird if they're like insistent that I split it with them, they've made it uncomfortable. I'm just never going out with you again. I'm not doing it. There's various schools of thought. If you ask me out, we go out. We have a few drinks. Again, time and money to get ready for this. I'm more at risk coming out as a woman to meet a strange man. just fucking pay, don't make it weird. At the end of my relationship with somebody, we're at the bitter end, we're in bed together, the notebook, about to die together, me and my man. I will want have our relationship to be equal.

At the end of the day, I'm down with equality. I paid, you paid, I took us on this trip, you took us on this trip, but that first date is important to me and I'm done reaching for my wallet. Yeah, and I'd like you to also pick a place you can afford. What am I doing here if you can't afford?

You assumed I was going to split this with you? You're also talking about what's up costs. I went on a date with somebody last year in L.A. And he was like, I don't know. I gave him like five options. He picked the one. And then he talked about the prices on the menu the whole time. And it was so uncomfortable for me.

And yes, I understand we're in L.A. And stuff is expensive. But I gave you the option of all these places. And then it paints me into a corner where I'm like, okay, well, I kind of pick this place. And I feel like I have to pay for this. And like, it just, I never went out with him again. I never talked to me again for a myriad of reasons. But it was just this was part of it.

Yes. whatever. Like someone that I dated very seriously. Our first date was a lunch date at a like quick grab and go, fast casual. Like not like Chipotle. It was nice than that. It was not like a chain. At least a Kava. But no. I'm saying it was like like a pyruvina. It was much refreshing Atlanta. No, like it was. It also doesn't matter. But it wasn't Chipotle. I know you tried to do the next poll. But I just, I just don't want weirdness about money. Just if we date, it'll all come out in the wash. It'll all come out in the wash. But you ask me pick a place you can. for it. Thank you, Raina, hard and fast roll. Okay, phones on dates. What are your thoughts? No phones on

dates. 33%. Don't want phones on dates. Checking once or twice is fine. 67%. And then 14 people said, I don't mind excessive phone checking. So 14 out of 10,000. But I guess I can see a world and you're both like TikTok people. You can't not ever, it's as part of your career or your life. I guess you wouldn't mind. But yeah, most people checking once or twice is fine. And then 33% no phones on dates. And to me, this is also different between first date, second date and like long-term relationship. I think this falls, we're talking more about those first few dates. For me, hard line, no phone. I was surprised so many people were okay with checking ones or twice because, I mean, I act a certain way, so I expect to be treated a certain way. You know how I am, like when I'm socializing with people. You'll never hear from me.

Like, I don't check my phone. I'm not sending off tax, especially with a stranger. Like, I can sign up for two hours without the phone. What do I need to check my phone for? I'm going to talk shit on them for hours with everybody as soon as this ends. Right. So I don't need to look at my phone and I'd like that behavior to be mirrored for the first couple days. Once we're in a relationship, I'm not like, what are you doing? Except for that time we got a fight in the restaurant where you're on your phone. But I don't like it. I don't like to be around people that like pull out their phones, even good friends of mine. I don't like it when they're like on their phone. You and I, it's different with you and I, we're together every second of every day. We have to take a break sometimes.

But yeah, I don't like when friends of mine do it. So I certainly don't like it when somebody that's on a date with me does it. Unless they say to me, like, if somebody sits down and they're like, there's some extenuating circumstances, I'm in the middle of a business deal. You got kids. You need to call me. I have kids. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. You got furniture coming. Crane Barrel's calling. Yeah. All the extenuating circumstances, just let me know. That's cool. That's fine. I had a friend that the guy that was on a date with her went and took a phone call for like 20 minutes. That was unreal. Unreal. She was like, his card was still there.

So I just ordered a bunch of drinks in the bars. She started talking to the bartender, right? Yeah. That was an unreal situation. I remember that whole thing. I was like, this is so crazy. I so would have left. But yeah, my phone's not out. It would be crazy to me to be on a first date. And I don't know. It's tough too because guys, like, where's their phone, their pocket?

Like, sometimes they put on the table because where is it supposed to go? But I don't want a phone on the table on a date. And if I need to check something or talk my shit, I'm going to just go to the bathroom. You know? To me, if you're on your phone excessively, you're checking your phone a bunch. You are rude, A, or B, you're not into me. neither bodes well, and that's that. So it's one of the two.

And, you know, for me, I'm like, I can think of one time in my life when I was checking my phone excessively. And it's because I was over that guy and I didn't care and he had been rude and I wanted out of that situation. And it was somebody that I was kind of seeing long distance and it was the second weekend that I'd gone to spend with him

and I ended up leaving the weekend that night. So that was over. But I remember being on my phone and knowing I was being an asshole and not caring because I was so over him. And then he goes, I sucked. Yeah, of course.

He goes, I didn't fly you down here to be on your phone at dinner. Bitch, you didn't fly me down here for shit. I paid for this flight. Also, this dinner's a comp. Every dinner's been a cop. Don't act like you paid for anything. And that's not an excuse. But I'm saying, like, I thought it was so funny that he said I didn't fly you down here.

I'm like, no, you actually didn't. Well, I think it's, like, really interesting the way people try to correct your behavior. And I thought about it a lot with all these things, like, would I correct the behavior and how would I correct the behavior? and like at which point would I do it? Because like to talk to a stranger like that is, I mean, yeah, maybe you were doing it because you were done with it and you were being rude. But his response to that was gross. And I wouldn't talk to somebody like that.

I know. And I mean, you know, in his defense, like I'd been pulling away. It was just a mess. We were clashing. But then the night before he'd been so rude at that bar, bad tipper, cheap guy, like the whole thing. Just a mess. It was all a mess. But it was like, for me, in this one circumstance, I can pinpoint.

I was, I don't want to say purposely, but I knew what I was doing. And I wanted to be texting with you. then at dinner with him. And that's how I was enjoying my dinner. That's how I knew we're going to be friends. I was trying to be a perfect. I know. It's something that I can correct that I think is really rude and I don't like it, but I would correct it is it's really important to me that somebody confirms with me the morning of a date and just says like, no, no, like I'm looking forward to seeing you and we're still on for tonight. It's very important. I will never check in with you. If somebody asks me out, I'm not going to. Yes, they asked you out. I'm not checking in with them and I won't go. So you just need to like reconfirm me. This is a stranger. I reconfirm everything. You and I reconfirm meeting

with people in our business that we love, that we know we're going to show up for stuff. So I need you to confirm and I need you to like, you know, at least check in with me. But that is a behavior that is probably not every person feels like that. I remember telling a girlfriend who, I think she's from Spain. She was like, nobody here would do that because, you know, people just show for plans that they make. And I was like, well, people in America maybe don't. I don't know. But that is something that I really could kindly just say to somebody like, I just, you know, I'm really busy and I would really appreciate it if you just confirmed today. Yeah. And again, can't stress enough cultural. I mean, we talk about tipping like, yeah, a bad tip or

is a deal breaker, but sometimes people don't tip where they're from and they need to be told about it. So cultural differences are obviously part of the discussion as well. But I am thinking of if you were on a date with somebody and they are continuously checking their phone and what do you do? And, you know, I think I would do a like, is everything okay? Like, I see you. I'm not going to be an asshole off the bat, but like, oh, is everything okay? Like, I think address it if it's really excessive. Yeah, I can't imagine what would be coming up that you need to be looking at your phone talking to somebody else when I've just asked you for like two hours of your day. That is funny, though. You just assume that something's wrong. It's like a funny way to play dumb. Well,

it's plain dumb. Is everything okay? They'll know what you mean. They're looking down on their phone. And then they should say, like, I'm so sorry. I'm like in the middle of this thing, whatever it is. And if they don't stop or they make you feel stupid for asking or they gaslight you in some way, just end that date. Be done with it. I think I think I'm going to head out, you know, here's, whatever. just you don't need to be there feeling uncomfortable. But again, like you can bring it up. It is rude. So if someone's doing it to you, I would hope that they know it's rude. I mean, we've said this, I mean, probably not a while, but like you just have to assume that a first date, one, dates one through three, people on their peak best behavior. Totally, totally. So this will get worse if you can't even get through a first date with me without being on your phone, without doing any of these things, the car doors, the doors, the walking on the street.

every one of those things is going to get worse. So this isn't even the product that you're buying. This is the best version of it. Right. Bying it off the lot like this. And if it is this like high power person and they're like, I'm so sorry, I'm just in the middle of da-da-da-closing this deal, I'd be like, well, let's just reschedule for our time. Yeah.

Why don't you not be on this date with me? Right. Like, you know, I try to be as kind as possible and, you know, not get into a heated argument with a virtual stranger. But like, maybe we should reschedule this and then never speak to him again. But yeah. No, I mean, again, extenuing circumstances are always possibility. but no.

Bye. Yeah. I don't want it. Okay. Making sure you got home. Okay. Checking in. Do you want someone to call you an Uber?

I mean, these are all different too because I'm thinking of like the shit I hate the most is like I just fucked you and you just let me like walk out into the night without even bothering Uber check in. This happened to me. And I was like, that's the rudest thing I've ever experienced. You were just inside of me. And you convinced me to come over here and you didn't even. it's 1 a.m. I'm walking out into empty streets alone. I'm a woman. Like, nothing. Like, you're terrible. And you guys know how we are. Like, even if you just met a guy at a bar, it is a one-night stand.

You go home with the person. You deserve all the respect. Just because you fucked a person. The same respect, you'd show them. Like, I had to want to stand with this guy in Nashville a few years ago. And when we finished, it's a city that I didn't live in. I was going back to the hotel. He called me an Uber to go home and he walked me down to the Uber.

Walked me out of the building. And he even said, do you want me to ride back to the hotel with you? You're probably trying to fuck again. But I thought it was really chivalrous. And that is what I expect. it's also just we can't deny that like women are less safe. So pretend that you know that and care at least, pretend. Like walk me down, you know? Like, but date wise, I mean. Also, I want to say I don't expect everybody to pay for an Uber for me. And certainly when I was younger, nobody had money. So I don't expect somebody to call. But that guy at least made sure I had. And he called one for me as nice. But he made sure I had one and got in it. Well, and that's my thing too. Like you're rarely going to call me an Uber. I'm on my phone. If I'm ready to go, I'm ready to go. And I've called the Uber. But yeah, totally. walk me out to it or something is nice. This guy, this was so long ago in Chicago, I was there visiting him. I spent the night with him. I was at his house the next morning and I was going to go back

to my hotel and he didn't even offer anything. He had a car. It was wild. To me, that's just rude. It's rude. He was also rude. Cheap, all the things. Yeah. Like, it all was a whole package. Yeah. I'm not going to re-educate this behavior. I'm not interested in it. It's none of my business. Yeah. You're just a person I knew for two hours. But I just, any sort of showing that you do care, Every city's different. It's like I'm trying to also remember people not everybody lives in cities where they're like taking Ubers and things like that. So then it's like nice, do you want someone to drive you home? Obviously, you don't want to be drinking and driving, of course. But if you're safe to drive you up, do you want someone to drive you home? You know, what do you? I think I'm going to make you feel safe. I think it would feel respected. I don't necessarily need somebody to pick me up. I like to go somewhere myself, but people have certainly offered. It always strikes me as really nice when somebody offers. Anything that somebody's going to do that's like to take care of me, like you said to text me and make sure I got home. I'm never going to not like it. There's certain things that are deal breakers for me. But I want somebody to just make sure I'm safe. I'm a female. Treat me like I'm not as safe in the world as men are. I'm not. Yeah. Again, there's like this whole spectrum of things and it's like I don't need the far end. end of either, but I like some politeness and chivalry somewhere in the middle. And I think, you know, it's funny every once in a while we'll get a date submission or a story submission or

something that's like, can you believe this guy offered to pick me up? To me, if we've met, I would love for you to pick me up. We've met. I've seen you. I've smelled you. I like you. I'm going out with you. I love it. Pick me up, drive me around. I fucking live for that shit. But an app were actually strangers like, no, I don't want you to. I might not like you. I don't need you seeing where I live, being in your car. You know, like, I'm going to meet you there. And then if someone is really weirdly insistent on picking you up and you don't know them, if you never met them, I find it to be an orange flag, at least.

Yeah. Because then it's like, why are you pressing this so hard? But I'm always down for being driven around. So what about if somebody shows up and they just look like sloppy for the occasion? It's like bad manners to show sloppy. But like, is it their personal style? Will you change their style? Do you care?

Is this bad manners? Well, I'm thinking of like that Tide commercial where like this, the t-shirts all, like, stretched out of the neck. I mean, to me, this is, it's very, like, it's not creepy if you're hot situation. Like, if I like you, we can fix your clothes. Are you dirty? You're dirty. You're dirty. You have a stain.

You have a mustard stain. You have a barbecue stain on your white t-shirt. Like, I just, it's also, like, weird because times have changed so much of clothing. And so, like, athleisure, like, sweatpants are hot and acceptable in a lot of places. things like that. You know, I just don't like the collar all stretched out. Of course not. But it's like, again, also with this age, it's like, I don't know, you should have a t-shirt that's not stressed out. You should have clothes it or washed. You know, like, that's my bar personally. But if I'm like falling for you, I'm like, we can work on this. Like, if you're like, looks lovenly. I don't know.

Okay. As somebody who's late a lot, how I know how you feel about this? How do you feel not being late for a day? Oh, my God. I know. I'm always constantly working on it. I usually show up seven to eight minutes late. I'm not trying to beat you there. It's embarrassing. For a date. If I'm meeting you, I'm going to be a little bit late. Sorry. I do want him to, I want him to confirm with me day of. I want them to show up before me and I want them to make sure that I got home okay. Everything else that happens in between as long as you tip well and you are nice to the wait staff, I could probably deal with it. To me, it's really a 10 minute window of a first date. You know, like, I'm not more than that 10 minutes late. You know, I'm telling you,

it's seven to eight. I want you to get there first. I want you to be waiting for me. I want to walk in. I don't want to be there and have to figure out where we're sitting, you know what I mean? But like past 10 minutes, again, extending circumstances, like insane traffic. Like sometimes you can't help this stuff. You're stuck on the ground in the subway. You know, something crazy happened. Like, yeah. Your dog sick.

Like, whatever it is, like, I get it. Like, we're compassionate enough people and we can understand. But if it's just because you were just late, I mean, yeah, I don't, I don't want to be sitting there waiting past 10 minutes. Like, come on. I don't want someone to wait on me past 10 minutes either. Yeah. I just, I want a message just explained to me why you're supposed.

late. And I just left late is not, I want to hear something terrible happened. Like that there was like an explosion. Yeah. You can't drive around the explosion. I remember going out with this guy and we dated for a little bit and we went to Bua. And I actually was running a little bit behind and he said the worst thing you could say to me personally, which was take your time, which I'm like, don't say it. I've never said it to you on ever well. I will take so much time. I'll never be there. What I will do is take all the time. And so I was like, damn. And he said the wrong thing. Take your time.

So I took my time. And I was excited about going out of them. So I just did a few more like makeup, touchups, whatever. And I got there kind of late. And he was, he did comedy. Like it was funny. But when Kelly at one point lived above Bua, and so I remember like she lived in that building above it.

And I was like, sorry, I'm late. I live upstairs. It's just so funny. And he was like, are you serious? And I'm like, no, I'm not. But I live five blocks away. This was a choice to not be your end time. It was.

Okay. So we're going to do negative. and then end on positive. So we asked worst manners-related thing you've experienced on a date pop off. Somebody said picking their nose at dinner. I actually don't have a lot of hard lines. A lot of people said stuff that doesn't bother me

because I think that, like, you can be, you can mature, you get more money, you've more access to stuff, blah, blah, blah. You can't pick your nose at the table. That is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard. I don't want to hear about, I don't, nose-picking, farting. I don't want it. So, you know I pick my nose,

and I'm not picking it on a. date. But like I touch my nose a lot. Like I do this a lot. And chicks in the office just posted this clip of like, we need to normalize picking our nose. Like you pick your eyes, you pick your ears. Why can't we pick our nose? And I was like, go off quick. I don't want it. I don't want you to pick your eyes, your nose, your ears. I don't want to assume you have no bodily function issues. No, I'm not picking my nose at dinner, but I'm picking it in private. And probably you guys have seen it if you watch YouTube. But okay, farting, that's crazy. Taking a smoke break during dinner.

Nope, you got to get a vape and figure that out. I don't want you to smoke a smoke break on a date. What are we doing here? This is the 80s? Just pretend that you're not a piece of shit, okay? Just let me live in this fantasy world that like you don't do this stuff for like a couple of days. Smoke after the date. Who is smoking cigarettes?

Smoking cigarettes? Like, do you mind if I go to the bathroom and shoot up my Ozempic? Like, why do you have to change smoke? Not his fault, but he had a lot of it. fake front tooth that he had to take out while he ate. No, we have a friend that has that. And I feel for it. He has to take his tooth out to eat.

I'm not sure because all my teeth are fake. I'm part of the culture, but like I don't, I don't know. Maybe he should just got something soft. Soup. Maybe they should have got soup or mashed potatoes. Wiped their mouth full of sauce with the back of their bare hand. No. You used to do when you're a kid.

I used to like, my mom would yell at me all the time. You wipe it with your shirt. you do this. Having one or two beers for every one of mine. Yeah, I don't want somebody to like run circles around my drinking. We're on like the first couple dates. Again, just pretend that we're not going to get this fucked up. Well, this girl said that she went, she DMed. She said she went on a date with a guy and they went to a bottomless mimosa place and he got a mimosa, chugged it in one thing, slammed it down, asked for another one. I was like, yikes. Is that me in college? But yeah. Yeah. I don't want somebody to get like wildly more drunk than

I am. I mean, I, of course, suspending that some people do have real drinking problems. I don't need somebody like run laps around my drinking. Well, feeling like they're trying to get drunk. Like, you know, I wanted to speak sensely about it, but that's not, we're not talking about alcoholism here. We're talking about your intention is to get wasted and binge drink on this date. You can feel that when that's happening. Yeah.

And we talked about a lot of the cheap stuff on a recent episode. Talked about that guy that was like being so cheap and like he was like telling the server we needed like a refill on those chips. It was so weird. He took me to like dollar taco night. He had beers in the car, all that stuff. Beer's in the car is crazy. And again, I mean, I mean, I, I mean, I,

I have spent most of my life with no money. So it's not about where you take me or how much we spend. I just don't want to feel like, like I said, about that guy. I picked a place and he talked about the menu the whole time. I don't want to feel like the prices are in position. You make me feel weird about it. Getting shit-faced and asking the waitress to be our surrogate on a second date. Now he has two DUIs.

I was on a date with a guy and he got a DUI on the date. I don't know if I've talked about this, but I'd be on out of jail. I'm a whole thing. I am a hard line. I mean, you and I are restaurant people. I'm a lifelong, like, waitress, restaurant manager. hard line on any type of weirdness or rudeness with weight staff. If you are flirting with a waitress uncomfortably.

Right. Uncumptorably, yeah. I saw this guy, it was weird of the flight attendant on the plane the other day. I don't like it. Somebody that is making women feel uncomfortable or if you're rude, it's just a hard line. I'm not going to re-educate you to be better. I'm not doing. No, it's crazy. It's such, it's crazy behavior to treat people in the service industry, like rudely. Like, what are you doing? You're trying to flex on them? Like, hard pass. What is happening? Red flag. Again, like, a cultural difference with some tipping. We can work it out. But also, if that's not the case and you're

just a bad tipper, no. No. What? Yeah. For what? Then you can't afford to eat out. You can't afford to tip 20%. Go to Chipotle. Okay. A lot of just chewing with mouthful. When men say, wow, you aren't a cheap date. What does that mean? You ate too much? You left no crumbs. Yeah. No crumb left behind. Maybe you pick the most expensive stuff on the menu. That's probably what it means. Well, should have gone to a restaurant. You could afford the most expensive stuff in the menu. Running ahead of me to get inside because he was cold. Guys aren't supposed to get cold. It makes me laugh every time.

She goes literally left me in the dust. That's so gross. Oh, my God. Okay. He's like, burr! He runs ahead. He's chilly. I'm so dry.

I'm so dry. I will net ran ahead of me. You sprinted. I am, I'm, guess what I'm doing? Turning on my heels, leaving. Yes. I'm two feet tall, okay? I will get colder faster than you.

He's going to realize real quick he's in that restaurant alone. Okay, let me ask him about this. Acted like a Karen about his food made the chef re-cook his food twice. What are you doing if I, you're looking at me being like I've done that before? No, no, no. Listen, no. Like, you need this situation. Like, we went out recently at a really nice restaurant, a group of us, really nice place.

Really expensive steak was not cooked. And I'm talking. Was I there? No. We didn't have to send it back twice, but I mean, I want to be able to eat my food how I ordered it. Also. I've never sent something back twice, but I don't think there's anything wrong with sending a meal back if it's bad. I'm with you. Come on. We went to that terrible meal in Chicago. I regret not sending that shit back. It's unedible. It's unedible. It's unedible. It's unedible. It's unedible. It's unedible. It's not edible. It's not how. It's talking. We got some fucking tomahawk steak for what I don't know, hundreds of dollars. And it was unedible. It's unedible. It's not how you're, it's not. It's you ordered it. I'm not paying for this. So I do really want what I want when I ordered. Okay. Yeah, but like, you know what? I don't like. They're running the server around. What? It feels like that's a weird

flex too. Like, oh, can I get ketchup? Oh, can I get this? You're running them around. Ask for all the things you need in one shot. Yeah. Water, ketchup and you need this recooked. Make a list. You have one opportunity. You have one shot. What would you do? You know what I also gets me to X out? If somebody like got the wrong order or the food wasn't cooked the way that they wanted it, and they were like, no, I'll just eat it.

You better stand up for yourself. That would give me the hardest ick in the world. Yes, because then you gotta be like, no, get what you ordered. Okay, let's end on some chivalrous things. You appreciate that someone does on a date when you're dating. We'll end it on a positive note. I just really like this first one a lot. Doing all the legwork for the first two to three dates, reservations, pay,

offer me, ride, etc. It's just nice. Don't get too comfortable. I'm kidding. I'm going to get comfortable reading this. I just, it's not. I've got to keep it up, though. Yeah, I want them to keep it up.

I mean, I am such like an independent lady and I'll do all these things. But like, it is nice when somebody's just like, I got this. I don't need you to pay for everything. But I'd like you to be like, I have ideas. I have thoughts about what we're going to do. And I'm going to cowboy this whole situation. Okay, clean apartment when I come over. I just had a memory unlocked from the complete opposite over the summer.

Guys, knowing the sidewalk rule, yes, having an entire date plan, giving me their coat when it's cold, eat my pussy. So polite. Love. A shiverous that you can do is eat my pussy. While I'm wearing your coat because it's cold. You're like, I'm going to warm you up all over your body. Goes to the bar and order drinks for you both.

I do love that when somebody's like, let me just get up. Let me go get this. Take care of this. I don't have to walk over there with you. Ew. Pays without me knowing. That is so sexy. He asked if he could help pay for my IUD, which just brings me back to one of my favorite jokes

from the new Chris Rock special, which was also one of my racks, where he says, ladies, if he doesn't pay for your abortion, you need to get an abortion. Did you see that far? Did you watch it? No, I fell asleep. It's like 10 minutes and not because it wasn't great. It was like, it took me a minute to register and I was like, oh, damn. Uh-huh. If he's not going to pay for your abortion, let me tell you you need an abortion. Wait, that's like really washing over me. And it is like, ask if they can help pay for your IUD. Like I never expected it, but like it really, are you coming inside of me? It means a lot to me. Let's let this. Yeah. I mean, I'm going to go through the procedure. Shouldn't you offer to pay for this? This is not a must. I just, we liked it. Filling up the gas. for me when it's cold. Oh. This comes back to like those things of like feeling taking care of like your dad used to do for you, you know, just like making sure you have gas. I mean, also, if you have borrowed my car and it's not full of gas.

Oh, what are we doing here? What? This relationship's over. I date a guy I let bar my car. It came back to me disgusting. I have never been so icked. And I was like, you need to Venmo me immediately for a car detailing. Are you kidding me?

I completely grow up. You can't borrow anything of mine. You can't borrow anything of mine and give it back to me worse. No. Melanie stayed at my place in New York last week and she was like, I restocked everything I used. That's the bar. Yeah. Don't start on that chili oil. We had a lot of submissions about ordering for me. Some people hate it. Some people love it. I feel like it's just the tone.

Well, you can't not ask me what I'm. You can't just assume. That's crazy. That's old. That's like the 50s. You order for me. You haven't even, unless I said order for us. I'm just wondering what the tone of this is because this is the nice stuff. this girl says ordering for me. Like when I was with my ex last week at this like steakhouse, we were like, okay, we're going to split XYZ and then he ordered it. Like, oh, ordering when you've decided what you want? Yeah, I like it.

I think that's nice. Okay, I'm just going to rattle off a couple getting up to make the coffee, bring it to me in bed in the morning. That is my number one love language. Telling me to text when I get home safe. I don't know. I like that you text to make sure. Why do I have to do more work?

You text me to make sure I get home safe. Why do I have to text you? But it's whatever. Either works. Intentionally plans dates based on common interests or passions, follow up. Thank you text. turned up the music in the car, helping me with my coat, a lot of coat talk, a lot of chili talk on here. Truly friendly to others surprises me with snacks during my period. Compliments appearance.

When it's obvious, I put some effort in, doesn't touch this food until everyone at the table has their plates. I mean, that is what you're supposed to do. But listen, if someone's meals taken too long to come out, I have like an omelet. I got to eat that omelet. Well, the hot food, you are supposed to start eating. Oh, okay. If it's cold food, you're supposed to wait. Love that. In conclusion, I mean, I can work with a lot of things as long as somebody isn't rude. And I'm fine with most things. And again, listen, my pool of dating is getting smaller, so I can tolerate some stuff. But in general, as long as you are kind to me, I can deal with a lot of stuff. Okay.

Well, hope you guys enjoyed this episode. Listen, I think you know where to follow us and find all the things. Check out girls got to eat vibes only. I'm going to do one thing this week. I'm going to mix it up. Leave us a review. If you enjoyed this episode, again, it's just us. So if you liked it, I think you're going to like this show if you're new around here.

But if you're listening on Spotify or Apple, just hit the five stars. We would absolutely love it if you feel compelled to leave a review. Hopefully it will be a kind one. But again, just five stars on Spotify, Apple, wherever you listen. the podcast, we would greatly appreciate it and share this with a friend and subscribe on YouTube. And that was a different outro than we've done for five years, but let's fucking go. Nice. Well, I feel nice inside. That's it, guys. Have a great week. Bye.