Girls Gotta Eat - Are Men Becoming More Accountable? with Dale Moss

Episode Date: August 3, 2026

One of our first-year guests Dale Moss is BACK and we’re getting into it (What’s his relationship status? What kind of woman is he looking for? Would he do reality TV again? Was his Bachelorette season really as crazy as it looked? What’s up with those Party City modeling pics?). But we’re also going deeper into the current state of men and the dating landscape – how women are raising their standards and if men are rising to the occasion, guys holding their friends accountable with bad behavior, and if bro code is over. We also discuss his wellness-based dating app, drinking/not drinking on dates, when your sibling doesn’t like someone you’re dating, and getting through your most painful breakup. Before Dale joins us, we are recapping our trip to Dewey Beach, breaking down the different types of husbands on vacations, Rayna sets the record straight on her “hard launch,” and Ashley has an appendage update. Enjoy! Follow Dale on Instagram @dalemoss13 and check out the Ateam app. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for more. Thank you to our partners this week: BetterHelp: See reviews and decide if it’s right for you at https://betterhelp.com/gge. Article: Get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at https//:article.com/GGE. Butcher Box: Get $20 off your first box and free shipping plus your choice of ground beef, chicken or sirloins in every box at https://butcherbox.com/gge. Zenni: Get 15% off at https://zenni.com/podcast with code PODCAST15. Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order at https://quince.com/gge and exclusive offers when you download the app. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometimes you leave a date and you're like, were they funny or was I just funny? Was that the martinis? Yeah. I think you were funny. Oh. Okay, Dale. This podcast is a Dear Media production. Hi, guys.

Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Got to eat. August 3rd. July is over. We had a legendary run. It's my favorite month of my life. It's my favorite month. I just, I can't believe it.

We did a lot. We were recapping the month. We were like, we. did the most. Never had a July like that. But we have Dale Moss today, Raina's new man. No, we will talk about Raina. All Raina, you guys had a moment. I don't know. And it was very funny. I'm so rude for you guys. He can be the third in your couple. Insane thing to say. Insane thing to say. Insanely disrespectful thing to say. I think him and Shishan could have a great time together. Oh, my God. Anyway, we are glad to have him back for you guys. You've been requesting it for years.

so we have Dale today. We answer the burning question of, was it a date? Shishak, I love you. So much disrespect. I actually said you the other day. I have something so nice to say about Shishak. People are going to be like, Frayda needs to calm down. Well, I'm sad, girly pop.

Say it. I'm going to say what we talk about Dewey. All right. Or think of her. We'll get right into it. Thank you to BetterHelp, see reviews, and decide if it's right for you at betterhelp.com slash gge. And article, get $50 off your first purchase of $100.

or more at article.com slash gge. And thank you to Butcherbox. Get $20 off your first box and free shipping plus your choice of ground beef, chicken, or sirloins in every box at butcherbox.com slash gge. And thank you to Zeni. Get 15% off at zeni.com slash podcast with code podcast 15. And quince get free shipping and 365 day returns on your next order at quince.com slash gge and app exclusive offers when you download the app.

Ooh. So, yes, as August starts, I look back on the best month of my life, July, which I just, we went to Dewee Beach, we took our annual trip. This was very early in the year for us. We typically go like late August. And I didn't really have any plans for July as of early June. We, I think we planned our trips like mid June. Yeah. I think early days we would go to Dewey in July, but then I really just started to prefer August. And it's always great. You know, I love a September. I love June. I was there for Memorial Day weekend, but this was like, was a little early for us. And I think even some people in the town were surprised. We surprised the town. This is the most when we see listeners of the show.

And it's so special. Us, we love you guys all over. But it's just so fun to run into the Girls Got Eat Community in Dewey for eight years running now. And it's just so fun. And I mean, I saw a girl on the street. And she was like, you guys usually come in August.

Like it was very funny. People know that we're not usually there. So we surprised everybody. We were there for my brother's birthday. And just that was the time that worked best for us to go. And it really was such a special trip. I was having a lot of feelings about it. So we invited some new people on the trip.

First of all, Chichon came. He was the only guy on the trip. He was the honorary girl on the girls trip. And we brought Megan, who was new. And some people who usually do come, didn't come. And I don't know. I was driving now with Megan to meet you guys. And I was just thinking of.

about like, you know, what we have sold women about their lives if they don't have children by a certain age or they don't get married by a certain age. And I feel that you and I speak about this a lot. But this was really representative of that to me where I just thought like, here is me and one of my closest friends driving down to meet up with my best friend. And we're all going to like share this condo. And my life is so full. And I didn't need a ton of money to do this trip. I don't need a partner to do this trip. Just like, this is the thing that matters to me the most in life. And I never thought I'd be like 40 sharing this like condo. with my best friend and her husband and two of my other girlfriends are single and I don't have

kids and like my life feels so full and I've taken a different route than other people have taken or that society tells women to take. And it just, I had a real moment of like just gratitude for being able to do that and having life not have turned out the way you thought it would when you were young, but it's like better. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And I mean, yeah, I'm married, whatever. But like all my friends are single. Four three years old. And like, like, I've taken all these trips with all these single girls. Like, it's crazy and it feels so inspiring at this age. And, you know, I'm a couple years older, usually, but everybody is still late 30s, early 40s.

And the France trip, the Dewey trip, we went to this concert, which we'll talk about. Like, it's me and a bunch of like a hot single ladies and I'm just like this married woman. And I'm like, this is pretty dope. You know, and I say to Shishonk, where I'm like, he's younger than me. And all his friends, most of his friends are married and having kids. And I'm out here with like, all my friends are single. I mean, we're always like running around New York. And of course, these are women that I've chosen to surround myself with in recent years,

women that want to live life in a certain type of way. And of course, I have tons of friends that are married with kids too. But it has become like more apparent that I'm doing really fun, amazing things. with women who are not tied down in any way and who are all living their best lives and are just happy and hot and crushing it. I mean, all of our friends are single. And our other two friends that we were with,

our friend Laura, through a pool party, and our friend Lee came down, and neither of them were with their husbands. I mean, one of their husbands was back at their house. The other one was upstairs in the house. But it was just us and all these girls and like no kids. Your nephews came over, which was very cute.

But I don't know. I just, we say it all the time. You can just choose a really, I guess, quote, quote, quote, alternative path in life than the norm. It's still this like really full special amazing life. And I'm never lonely for one minute. I'm not wanting for anything. I'm just, I felt really grateful and happy. But you know, like the first friend that gets married in like your 20s and she's like, I'm the first one. And then everybody's single and run around.

Why how is that? I don't know. Literally how. How is. I don't know how this happened. I mean, honestly, my friends have really all done me a solid. None of them are. married, none of them have kids. I mean, and you married somebody who's just like, he is part of the girl group. I mean, most of our friends, almost all of them, are with people that I really like. We tolerate? No, I'm kidding. I'm not kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. We do like most of that, but. But like, I wouldn't invite them on a girl trip. Like, I think there's this wide range of like partners. You have like, of male partners. You have the male partners that just kind of sit there and say nothing. And they're just a piece of furniture in the room. And I don't, I don't hate it, but I don't need it.

And then you have like male partners that just need like so much attention. And I definitely don't want that. That's gross. Why you're in a group of girl. You get no attention. Talk too much. Mansplain. Get it like speak out a turn.

No. No. I don't, I just, I don't want that. I just, I don't need like an extra piece of furniture in the room and I don't need somebody that wants a lot of attention. He's just like right up the middle. He like speaks what's spoken to. He says something funny and goes back to his phone.

Like he's just happy to let you shine. I mean, let this be an example to all men. I think that's really the only person I want around me in a group. It's so true. And you guys are like dead ass when you're like, should Shishat come? I'm like, what? Like you and Megan will be like, well, it'll be the three of us. And someone will be like, I wish Shashonk was here.

I'm like, y'all, okay. I mean, it's so flattering. And he's just so chill and easy. He's the easiest person to be around. And when he obviously contributes to something to a conversation, it's valuable. And he just kind of chills and he gets along with everybody. but he does have a Dewey personality that comes out. And Dewey Shishonk really came out on this trip.

And we were at the Starboard one night. And this singer and band I love, her name's Kristen. And the band is Kristen in the noise. But she didn't have her whole band with her. And she just had two members of the band. And this is someone I've been seen looking up to since I was 19 years old. I mean, younger probably. She's been playing in and around Delaware and Dewey Beach for so long.

and she just has the best voice. She's just such an icon. And she has become a fan of our show. So the first time I realized, like she knew who we were. It was at this, I think it was a Starboard staff party. I was tagging along with Matt. And I'm like, I can't believe that Kristen is like a fan of mine. Like I'm a fan of yours.

Like it just is one of those crazy full circle moments. And so she's playing at the Starboard Sunday night. We go in. And she's just like, girls got to eat in the house. And she's just being so funny. And then she came over and talked to, she met Shishonk. And he was giving her requests. And she was playing them.

And at one point, She was singing, Alonis Morris that you ought to know. And we were all, like, right up front and singing along. Shishank hands her his phone. No, actually. What are you doing? No. Shashon, that is the Kristen and the noise.

What are you doing? She grabs it. And then she, like, turns it around and is filming herself. We'll put this on the screen. It's also on my Instagram. And is, like, filming herself with all of us. Like, she understood the assignment immediately. When I saw him hand Kristen, his phone, I was like, sir.

and he knew they had like a moment. I just, I felt like I watched it in slow motion. I was like everything I thought about you was wrong. Every single thing I thought you were so cool and gassing you up and you, you deign to hand your phone to Kristen in the middle of this. Like what it's about to happen?

This is so crazy. He knew and she knew and we got this really fun video out of it. Of course, like it's, you know, it's a casual chill vibe. It's like some concert and you're just like bothering the performer. You know,

like it really went off and we were like talking to her and stuff like that. But people like he has like when he gets some drinks in him, he really does kind of become more outgoing and he'll like be dancing and like, you know, rocking out. And it just was very fun. I feel like everyone's like, I really love Dewey Shashonk. I'm like, yeah. I mean, it's, we've had one, we've had one night where he did pass out. It was the night we got engaged and he did have to go home early and pass out with his shoes on. But that was the only time that Dewey really defeated him. Otherwise, he's pretty good. I mean, it's the most defeated I've had been on a trip too.

But it was just so special. And I feel like I owe you guys an explanation. If you're curious, like what we do down there. So we were at the first night, we always go to the jam, which is live music. It's really fun. It's our first stop. If you want to, you know, you can figure out where it is. If you guys want to come stock us. But we're there. And Megan, our friend, sees this guy. with a shirt that says, I love mentally unstable women. And she's like, you got to get a photo with this guy. And so he doesn't even turn around. I'm just like, I'm going to take a photo with you.

I take a photo of like my face with just his back. And then he walks off, never to be seen again. And I'm kind of drunk and we're all just like, we should be posted, right? Hardlaunch. Obviously, that's not my boyfriend. Obviously, it's just a funny joke. And I posted it. And all of you guys commented.

And I feel like I got some of you guys excited. And I'm so sorry. I love you guys so much. I love that you're excited for me. That is not my man. He did. However, I will tell you guys, find me. He found me.

He slid into my day at DMs. He said, hey, that's me. He sent me a photo of himself wearing the shirt. He was like, when can I see you again? I mean, they always find you. There's always a way. I'm sure someone sent it to him. Yes.

I know us. We have a large fan base in like the Philly, Delaware, D.C. area. So somebody just thought he was wearing an Auburn hat. Right? Auburn? So somebody definitely just like sent it to him, but he was in my DMs quick. And listen, you guys, I did try to meet up with him. And then he said he had to go back to work.

And then if this guy is a girlfriend. Oh, oh, God. Listen, anyone can have that shirt. It's just they sell it on the internet. I just thought you guys would obviously know it was a joke that I'm staying next to a sign that says I love mentally unstable women, which I am. But it made me laugh really hard. I'm so sorry to break your heart, guys. Yeah.

So we just wanted to set the record straight on that. But it really was of such a great trip. I just something about it this time around. We just had such a good time. Everyone was like, this is like just been the best. And everyone just felt really grateful. And we did this big boat trip with all our friends and family and Matt's friends for his birthday. And my nephews were on it.

And it was just, it was just wonderful. So I was just feeling really a lot of gratitude on this last trip. I just, I really felt it. I just felt really like emotional about it that like this is the thing I value the most, more than Santrape, like more than these other things. And it's just, I'm just glad it turned out this way. And I just would like to say that for the second year running, I am the pontoon boat flip cup champion. No one can beat me.

I am a frack guy at heart and no one can beat me. Yeah. I mean, I can't argue with that. Raynote, we play musical flip cup. It's so fun. We did it last year on my bachelor, on the same boat. we did it again this year and it Raina won again. I think you are the right height.

Yeah, I agree. You don't have to bend over as much. Like, you're eye to eye with that solo cup. I know. You just flip it. And your nephew, Aaron, was like holding my hand, dancing with me walking around. It's so cute.

So, like, the music starts, you walk around, dance around the table. It stops. You take your drink. You flip the cup. That's musical flip cup, obviously. But Rayno was kind of in charge of Aaron. I had, like, showed him how to flip the cup when it was empty.

and we had a fun time with it. That's on my Instagram as well, Ash has. But then Raina was like walking around with him. And I was like, he's going to get some alcohol. Like I was like, I feel like no. I hope, I don't know how much you were really paying attention. I was like, there's no way Aaron doesn't get some high noon on this boat. I paid attention.

I mean, I just, you know, I'm scared to your sister-in-law. I feel like she's the kindest person in the world, but I don't want to get her done drunk. I'm kidding. But there was a point where we were like joking. We were like, is this safe to do? He's my little good luck charm. I love him so much. Yeah, he was such a sweetie.

So it was really nice. And then after that, we, I came back to New York and I was there for a minute. And then we went to this concert. If you guys spotted us in Edmonton, Canada, which, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, which is a place I had never been. And we went to the post-Malone and jelly roll concert. And Carter Faith was also on the bill. And this was a tour that they have been on. Post Malone is touring all over. And Jellyroll did this North American run with him. So this was like close to the end. Like we were like the third to last show. And we had a blast. I mean, they're both so talented. We just love them and had the best time. And a lot of people like I posted some of my Instagram like some photos. And people were like, what the fuck were you guys doing at Edmondson? Why didn't you tell us? that you were there.

So sorry, we'll give you a heads up next time. And it's just, it's nice to see a place that we haven't been. And we know we have lots of listeners in Canada. So maybe we'll come to a show there. Some Neishishonka's family there. You know, he's been a number of times, but we had never been. And it was great. The concert was incredible.

Can't recommend it enough. It's over now that bill, like Jelly Roll and Post Malone. But we're glad we got to see it. Yeah, it was amazing, honestly. Well, we per, you and I performed with Jelly Roll on stage. at the goddamn comedy jam in L.A. So we actually have performed with him. But I've never seen, I've never seen Post Malone live.

It was, he performs with no shoes. I was like, that is brave. Yeah, he is shoeless. And yeah, jelly roll is so kind and wonderful. And they're just both so talented. But Post Malone is up there, no shoes. At one point, he poured a beer into his hat and drank it. And then I think he was even like,

that didn't go as well as I thought. he was going to go. He was smoking a cigarette? How do you sing and smoke sings? I mean, I love sings, but I couldn't do it. I think he's so talented. He can do whatever. He can be drinking.

He can be drunk. He can be no shoes. He can be smoking a sing. And he's still performing in such a way. Like, he can just pull it off. I mean, they both are. And Carter Faith is incredible too and so sweet. And she has an amazing voice.

And it was just an amazing concert. and, you know, we had a great time in Edmonton. We had steaks both nights we were there, that Alberta beef. Thank God. I ordered the same steak both nights. I was like, I need that steak. I love steak so much. It was better the second night, too.

Also, we learned how young Post Malone is, and I did not realize. Did you know he was that young? I think he's 31. Well, I guess when he first, he's 31, so he started his career 10 years, not 11 years ago. I didn't realize he was a child star when he first came out. But it was great. We loved it. It was really fun.

Again, I have never spent so much time with you in my whole life. It has been a lot. It has been a lot. Well, I also had one more thing I wanted to announce. I know you guys always love to know what's going on with my body. I lost a toenail. And I, it's rough. Realized his toenail was coming loose like a couple weeks ago.

And it's like from running, which is like, how fucked up is that? You're trying to do something good for your body. be fit, be healthy, and you lose a toe nail. It's like runner's toe or whatever. So I had noticed that it was coming loose and it was at the point where I was like, it's about to fall off and I don't want to like rip it off, whatever. So I went to my nail salon in New York. It's called Golden Tree.

That's where I've always gone. I was excited to go back there and visit my own stomping grounds. And I go in there and I'm like going to get a pedicure. This was like before we left for Dewey. And I'm trying to talk to the nail tech about what we can do about the toe nail. And it is tough to have that type of conversation with a language barrier. Like, what are we going to do about this thing on my body? Like, what type of surgery are we going to perform on an appendage when we really are not able to communicate?

I mean, I think that they see this stuff every day. This has happened to me. Yeah. So I was like, I'm going to just trust her. Sometimes you can communicate better than this was not really one of those times. I was like, I feel like we're not. she was saying glue and powder and I'm like sounds great and then so I'm like I guess we're going to do it because she was trying to take it off I was like don't take it off and I think she knew what was best

and so she I was like let's leave it let's just like patch it up I was just being a pussy about it so she mentions glue she mentions powder she goes to town she does a powder dip whatever she glues it back on it looks perfect right I mean you guys saw it it was the best of all 10 of them was the fake toenail or whatever the fuck she did so I'm like she crushed it I like we go we went that night oh I forgot to we we need to talk about Chicago I want to Chicago we went out to Chicago that night and the musical and I'm like this was perfectly done you know no notes and what a week later I went for a run in Dewey I ran to yoga and the second I got to the yoga studio and took off my sneakers the toenail was loose again lost the toenail

lost my toenail implant so anyone can like feel my pain on this. It is so brutal. So then I just had to like take it off myself. It's regrowing. You got to start painting the skin. You can try to put a tip on it. The first time I put an acrylic nail on my toe, it was a real like reckoning moment for myself. It's a humbling experience losing a toenail. Yeah. It's starting to grow back. I'm not going to paint my toe. It's just what it is. I'm just going to embrace it. And so the middle toe on my left foot, It's just, it's there and it's bare and it's proud. But anyway, so I just wanted to throw this in that night, jog my memory.

We saw Mateo Lane in Chicago, the musical. He plays Billy Flynn. It was incredible. He is such a brilliant, incredible talent. And so we just wanted to mention that. But is he in it anymore? No, I love the theme of this intro. We're just telling you guys about stuff you can't do anymore.

That's okay. No. But you can't. Can always lose a toenail. He's such an amazing talent. I just, Chicago is my favorite musical. I don't really actually care about musical theater that much. To be honest, if you guys do, great. It's not typically what I spend my money on.

He was so phenomenal. He did a short run, I think six weeks maybe. And I mean, we've just, we've known him for so long. We've watched him just ascend to a level of fame and greatness that's just been so phenomenal. I'm so proud of him. I just felt like I was going to cry when I saw him come out. And he was saying, how wonderful the crew was to work with.

And if you guys have the opportunity to see Chicago, I mean, they're an interesting musical because they typically have, I forget what he said, stunt, stunt casting, where they have like a famous person, like, you know, Whitney Levitt. When he loved it or animatics. Yeah.

He just was so phenomenal. So that was my first time seeing Chicago. People have seen it multiple times. I understand why I really loved it. I didn't know too much about it. Like you've seen the movie. I haven't seen the movie. I didn't know that it was just really all song and dance

and a really minimal set and the focus is on the choreography and the singing. And so anyway, just congrats to him. And sorry, you can't see him anymore. But again, like, it's one of those musicals that they'll be someone you were really interested in seeing will probably star in it in your lifetime. Yeah. I mean, he said he wants to do it again. And I also came home and watched Chicago because I love the movie.

I'm obsessed. Okay. Well, we are just going to talk about our partners and then we will get into Adele Moss. I am telling you guys about Zeni. So we love this. I wear glasses. Raina sort of does. I never know what you're doing.

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And let's get into it. All right, guys. We are very excited to welcome back our guests today. He is a model, a death television personality, a former pro athlete, a partner in a team, a private member's only dating platform. He gained widespread fame in 2020 as a contestant on season 16 of ABC's The Bachelorette, where he won the final rose. He writes up.

Please welcome to the show. Back to the show. Dale Moss. This is a full circle moment. So I appreciate y'all having me on. He gained popularity on 2018 when he gave out a girl's going to eat. For real. Like, it's crazy to think back, like, just, you know, early stages.

And it's been awesome just to see the growth and everything you all have done. So I'm so proud of y'all. And yeah, it's a full circle moment. Let's go. Welcome back. You were one of our first guests. We met you at a party. And we were like, you could come on.

Yeah. We did. We met you at a party at Spring Media. Spring place, yeah. He just friends with the math media people. Yeah, that was a long time ago. Yeah, I was like, let's have him on. Here we are.

Yeah, I was like, he's hot. Let's have him on. Let's go. I was here for it. It was fun, though. I remember that episode like very, very clearly. Yeah. So what's happened in eight?

Yeah, eight years. I mean, a lot of life has happened. There's so many transitions that we go through, right? Like, you know, there's the show and then there's business, there's relationships. But life is really good right now. I'm really focused outside of the stuff front facing, really building business behind the scenes. We've got A team. I'm a partner at A team, which simply put, if you think of like a Raya, but with a health and wellness pillar.

We love it. We're launching in the city. It's going crazy right now. So that's been really fun. And, you know, I'm just really investing into things I'm passionate about and the ones that I'm able to, you know, have ownership and really be able to scale these businesses. I mean, there's a lot of dating apps out there. What was, we love something that doesn't focus on drinking. So, like, what was, like, the idea behind this app?

You know, I think one of the biggest things is people underestimate the value that our relationships have on our overall health and well-being. And, like, dating apps have desensitized us to human connection. Like, it's swipe culture, and there's so many options, but that's not, like, really building a relationship. So we launched a team with the idea that if you can create a space with people with shared values, shared mindsets around their health and their well-being, that you're getting them once. step closer to alignment. And like we say we're like the official dating app of wellness, but wellness is just the common ground. And then when you actually get into the product, it's human connection. So that's really the basis of it. You know, it's been like an awesome ride so far. We're early stages, but we've got a lot of traction. And it's been fun. I've grown a lot from the process.

Is it available or not? No. So we're taking applications. We've got about 12,000 people on the wait list. Okay. So people aren't using this app quite yet. So we built this in a very intentional way where you have to be accepted on the platform. Totally. So we're doing onboarding now. I think we've onboarded 4,000 people. We've got about 12,000 people in Q. Yeah, we're fully launching with our live events.

The app's going to be fully open here in roughly, we hope, like a month. Oh, my gosh. So can you tell us a little bit about how we just jumped her in, but how it works? Like, how do you connect to that app? Yeah. So, I mean, if you think about like a traditional app, a lot of the baseline features are very similar. It's what people are used to. The onboarding phase is a lot different.

It's really asking a lot more about what your day to day like, your health, wellness routines, fitness, how you grab yourself. Well, it's very funny because I think about like Field, which is like, are you into like cucking or choking? That's my preferred app. And then this is more just like, do you like Peloton or running? I was actually going to get on that app. I love Field. I mean, but it is like, it is like, do you like be, do you like being put in a cage? Do you want to get a peed on?

Do you want to have a threesome? Do you want to be a third? someone's couple and I'm like, fuck yeah, let's fucking go. And Dale's app is like, do you watch yoga flow? Do you like? Do you like to run on the West Side Highway? Yeah. This is the thing, though.

Like, it's not like people that don't drink. Like, I love a good cocktail. I go out and I turn up. But I do know that like where I ground myself is like doing the hard things. Like, you know, put in an effort at the gym. And it's really all about alignment because I think like in having an identity, most of these apps don't have an identity. You know, Raya's like value proposition is exclusivity.

these niche ones that actually catch on are, you know, doing really well. And our whole thing is to get people together in real, like, real life. I love that. We just think that, like, so many of our friends are sober and they don't drink. And it's like they have to introduce the idea that they're sober rather than meeting through some other type of activity. Yeah. I mean, I drink on a first date.

I always do because I think it just lowers my anxiety. But it's crazy that you, like, walk into meeting a stranger. You immediately impair your judgment. You're like, I want to actually, like, lower my inhibitions to, remember things, see this clearly, decide if I want to sleep with this person, see this person again. Sometimes you leave a date and you're like, were they funny or was I just funny? Was that the martinis? Yeah.

I think you were funny. Oh, okay, Dale. But in the most, in the best way. You guys, first of all, we need to talk about your relationship status, Dale. So someone sent me a real. Okay. Did someone make a real of you being single? Oh, live.

Yeah. So lives my girl. Made me want you to have, we've always wanted to have you. We've been asking for years to come back on. And there was like some points where we were. almost had you on and then you couldn't come on and talk about your relationship because the Bachelor, like we were so, you had to cancel on us, whatever. So we've been wanting to have you back on for a year. So Claire was like, no, no, but Claire was like, we've acted too crazy. Someone sent me this

real of like, Dale is single and looking and she was like, you guys should have him back on. And I was like, you're right. Yeah, yeah. I've gotten so many messages. Because of that. Yeah. Well, it's interesting because like you look at, you know, the real and there's comments and stuff. But then actually like the DMs and everything like that. What's going out of the DMs? I've been seeing a lot of this lately. Like man on the street is going up to people like working out, typically working out and saying like, are you single?

How old are you? What are you looking for? I love it. Okay. So this is your friend that just was like, Dale's available. She'd wanted me to do it for a while and I've always been a little bit reluctant. But, you know, the fact of the matter is, you know, like, you know, I am single.

I think anything is going to like kind of naturally happen in due time. But I was like, this, you know, this could be fun. Let's put it out there. And honestly, the response has been great. I've like, I'm not going on, I haven't gone on any dates or anything from it. But people truly, like, you see how much people are like yearning for connection and putting themselves out there. You see the yearning. Oh, man.

So what are you looking for? I feel with the relationship, obviously we have to be like very aligned. I love a woman that's career driven, uh, that really good. goes after, you know, what she's passionate about. I think that is a level of understanding that someone can relate with me because sometimes I don't know when to turn it off. And, you know, I've also realized, like, proximity for me is, is a big thing. I've done distance relationships for a long time. I travel a lot. I move around a lot. And really just, like, looking for someone that I can build a home with, right? I'm 37 years old. I'm pretty clear on what I want as far as

a future. And it always goes, like, to my partner first, you know, kids and all that stuff. can, you know, come after the fact. I think I'm also just in a place where I feel very comfortable and secure opening up and like experiencing like new people and like just put myself out there. So we'll see what happens. Okay. So you've had some public relationships. That was going to be my question. Oh, okay. So in terms of a public relationship, you've had these past public relationships. Like even your relationships that weren't from the reality TV or from The Bachelor were still public. Yeah, yeah, without a doubt. Yeah. So people know who you're dating like, I am curious your thoughts on that.

Or is that okay? Would you rather have it differently the next time? Or is it easier to be with somebody that understands that that is also the nature of what you do and them? Yeah. I think it's really like a, you know, case by case situation. It's funny because one of my relationships literally came from the podcast, we know, from this show.

No, we're aware. It's every man that comes on the show ends up just an avalanchea pussy. But so we talked about this was your ex, then the breakup was public. Yeah, yeah. And so we mentioned it briefly on the podcast, and she sent us a nice message. And she was like, I don't know if you knew that I messaged Dale. Did she slide in your DMs when she heard you on our show? Yeah, from the 2018 show.

Which is crazy. Like, she's an OG fan. She listened to like way later and then went back and listened to every episodes once she found the podcast. That's amazing. Shout out to her. Yeah. Shout out. Yeah.

But, you know, I think the public side and everyone handles it, you know, a lot differently. The show creates, and I think a lot of people in reality, are dealing with this, right? When you go through ups and downs, like everyone in your life has to go on the ride with you, whether you like it or not, I think in a lot of situations,

people are focused more on regulation than the actual relationship because of the stresses that go on around it. Me personally, back in 2020, that was like, you know, an eye-opening thing, but I've had a full career, like, whether it was sports, I've been, you know, in front of the camera, been in a lot of unique circles.

So I had a life in the life in the way. this New York scene well before. So the public aspect was never really too difficult for me to handle. But I think you just really have to understand how you're going to protect and preserve like the relationship because like not everyone, everything is for everybody. And I think also like some people handle it really well. You know, previous relationship, you know, it was definitely public, but we never had any issues. You know, we communicated about everything. We always came to each other first, we had each other's backs. Now, sometimes stress, anxiety, it can build, and uncharacteristic things happen just because of the pressure and stuff. So I've definitely accepted that my relationships

are probably going to be public in some aspect. But that's also why I'm very conscious of like trying to protect the other person so we can build without them feeling pressure, especially if they're not in like the public eye or anything like that. I mean, you've trained for this. I mean, you were objectively on the craziest season of The Bachelorette that's ever existed. Yeah. It was, I mean, Dale is insane. You guys didn't see it since 2020. They left the show together. I mean, Claire was like on dates with other guys.

She should talk about Dale. It was Chris. She was like, so what was Dale up to today? She was like, sniffing your boxers. And then they were like, Dale, you have to propose. And you were like, wait, what? We just had a guest before this. We were talking about it with her because we said we have Dale Moss after this.

She was like, wait, what? She's an incredible, like, author. And she's like, I also love reality TV. And I'm like, wasn't that the best season? The best six episodes of the factory ever, ever. Well, I mean, it was wild. Like, when I look back at it, it now. Yeah, what do you feel like looking back at it?

You know, I, going into it, like, everyone's like, oh, is this stage? No, like, there was nothing staged there, right? And we also had a lot of time to, like, because they shut down the filming and we had a lot of time to, like, get to try to understand someone and, like, you know, see the things that we like. Because on social, even if you weren't talking, you could see it. And honestly, this is actually interesting how it compares to, like, dating apps. So you form and you see these things.

But the reality is, like, I also had an insecurity that you could make it work with anyone if you tried hard enough. And that, like, I wanted to be the best possible partner for someone. But sometimes people just aren't the right fit or there's life situations that are going on that make it, like, really tough. Like, we were in the pandemic. We were, you know, a lot of things. But I learned, like, a lot from that season. But it was crazy. But it shaped the way.

And I'm, you know, grateful for it. It changed the way I look at relationships as a whole. And I think it helped me, you know, show up in a different way and also like put more boundaries. Because you feel like previously you felt like I can make it work with anybody. Yeah. I kind of changed your idea of that. Yeah, I think, you know, I've always had this, like I've always been a provider. You know, I have all sisters. My dad was not in the picture a lot when I was growing up, you know, struggled with some addictions and things like that. So I've been paying bills at my house since I was in eighth grade, you know. And like I always wanted to

be that and do that and make sure. And I had this belief that if I like, like, didn't execute, my family would fall apart. And, you know, I think that's something I had to grow out of. And I think it's also like that kind of mindset in a lot of ways, it's a lot of things that men are struggling with today. Like your identity is built on your success when the reality is like most don't even know how to express themselves emotionally. Yeah. And I was very fortunate to have women in my life and I have women in business that are like my partners, my agents, like my team. And that was like a big gift for me but even with that like the pressures of like wanting to provide it took a long time and i'm stubborn as hell to like actually let go and say hey like i don't have to be all these things or i don't have to have everything figured out so again when you get everything stripped away after a relationship you you have two options either you grow from it or like i don't know you just keep going down the yeah you spiral so i i am interested in that though like are you a person who previously has felt like love is enough Like I will make it work no matter what.

And has that ever caused you to stay in a relationship kind of past its expiration point? Oh, without question. Okay. Because my parents were together for 45 years. And there were times I prayed my mom would just, you know, separate just because it was chaotic at times. But I also saw them stick together because they were friends and they really loved each other. But like I never, like, believed in divorce. I never wanted to get divorced.

It was just one of those things. My dad would always like say like he didn't believe in divorce. Got it. Yep. But yeah, I've definitely stayed in some, you know, some on the public side trying to weather the storm and like see if there was a way like, you know, you could figure it out. But the reality is like sometimes it's just not a match. But I've definitely got to the point where if I'm not feeling it, you know, let someone know quickly. I move through things pretty quickly.

You know, I've had to learn to not just like go into the shell and just isolate and just completely cut out like everybody as well, you know. Mm-hmm. Why would you cut out everybody? Post breakup? Or in the relationship? Not in the relationship, but I think the in-between, right? You know, I've never been a big dater. But I also, I feel like we're in a world where people won't commit.

Like, they're very fickle. When shit hits the fan, like, you know, they blame other people. So I think that was just like, and that's just from some of the experiences I've had throughout life. And again, those are like protective barriers that, like, I had to just grow through and realize that I had to also make better decisions on who. or what I was like drawn to, you know, it's like a woman, like, they don't want a man to try to like save them, right? It's like, how can you add to their life and how does it make sense naturally? And for me, like, you know, I had to learn that. Like I don't need to solve every single problem,

especially in a relationship, if anything. I think a lot of women are like, I just want to hear like, man, that sucks instead of like, here's the solution to this. Yeah, yeah. You see a lot of people in that push and pool because I think a lot of men, they're like, the value I can bring is explain. I need you how to fix this. I'm like, I'll save you. Which is valuable in a lot of situations, but I think a lot of women are like, no, I need emotional intelligence. I need somebody to say like, that sucks and I'm so sorry, you know?

Yeah. Well, let's talk about this and this emotional intelligence and this modern masculinity. And I love hearing from you because you have sisters and like you said women on your team, very Jalen hurts of you to have an all female team or mostly female team, whatever. I can't say that. Yeah. But we want to talk about this and we were just talking with you, you're watching off campus, right now. And I think that has really brought this version of masculinity that women are craving

right now where you can have a strong, athletic, masculine dude. You don't need this Timothy Shalamey looking dude, but he can still, like, this guy can still have feelings and emotion. Timothy Shalemay is wild. He can still look like Jacob Bullard. You can have both. And I think that you've probably embodied that for a long. You've probably, you've embodied that for a lot. You've body that for a long time, but like, are you seen more of it? Like, we just want to hear your take on this. Yeah. So I'm not all the way through the season, but I've gotten up to episode six, but it was really eye-opening because it shows like what healthy relationships could look like. But also, like, the men in that, I think they're patient. There's times where they could get angry or, you know,

pop off on someone and they don't. It's like, what's the best interest and how do we figure this out together? And they're, like, really respectful in it. And I think, like, I do see that with men a lot nowadays. I think a lot of men or maybe it's just the circles I run and like it's hard for me to also at the same time be around a lot of men because I just feel like I'm geared a little bit different. It's funny that you feel like that because you were a pro athlete. Yeah. So you grew up on teams with men. Yeah. Which is great. But it's just like there's certain things that were like, I'm not out like trying to chase anything. If things happen naturally like it is what it is. And I've also been like around like so many women. We're building like this dating app and I've had so many

conversations, but it's really interesting because I think a lot of men just don't know how to express and how to communicate. And I think like there's a lot of confusion on like what they can and can't do. I've heard more in the workplace, right, even complimenting someone and like some fear around it. But overall, like what the writers and the directors are doing on off campus is really like saying like, this is how like a relationship could or should be. And from a woman's perspective is saying like, this is what I'm looking for. And I think it's like it's a great blueprint because, you know, It's truly, like, that's something that I would hope that I would have in a relationship, that patience, that communication.

Yeah, I just think it's, it's sending a pretty clear message if anyone's actually going to, like, pay attention to it. Do you feel like you men in your circle are, like, trying? Like, are you seeing a shift? Yeah, I mean, like, the ones, like, probably too many softies. No, but, like, they won't ever admit that, but, like, they want more out of a relationship. If they're in a tough situation, they're scared on, like, how do I navigate this? Do I push through?

do I exit, do I leave? A lot of like my close friends, because I'm an open book. Like, you know, when I've gone through breakups, I communicate about it. You know, I've had friends see me just ball my eyes out who have never seen me cry in my life. Like male friends. Yeah. Yeah. But also in those states, like they're there for me.

They talk through things. They share perspective. They check up. So those things definitely do happen. And like I've been pretty fortunate with that in my life. But that's also what I look for in friendships and relationships. Like, you know, we've only got so much time. And it's like, I can only fuck with like so many people. But if it's like, if you're not checking some of those boxes, we're not on the same page.

I think, you know, pop culture gives people permission to be a certain way. So if you see these examples of men, it allows people to like be more like that. Yeah. I don't know. I hate to say like men are getting better because I never want to say that. But I don't know that I believe that. I think they're getting better or worse. I think we have a deba, like disparity. But I've noticed this like trend in a couple things in weird time about it earlier, but I wanted to hear your thoughts. We wanted to hear your thoughts on it. And it first occurred to me on the Summer House reunion when I was watching Jesse and Casey really turn their backs on West. And West hasn't really done anything directly to either of them, but they were like, you have no integrity and so I can't fuck with you anymore.

Like you have hurt people around you. You're a liar. You don't seem to like cop to anything. So like I can't fuck with you. It's not like obviously Carl was going to take Kyle's side. But like these other men that really were West's friends sat on stage. and we're like, I don't fuck with you anymore. And then Ashley and I saw this example kind of recently in a breakup where this couple we know broke up and I think we didn't really know

whose side everybody was gonna take hers or his and his behavior was deplorable. His male friends were like, I cannot support this or fuck with this. I don't hate you forever, but like I am not gonna, I'm not on your side for this. Yeah, I just can't have it.

I think that's a common thing. Like, you're seeing more? Oh, without a doubt. The bro code is over. I think like, so like bro code because like I, you know, dealt with brocode. I think some people just don't want to get involved in other people's shit in their relationship. So I don't think it's sometimes brocode. I think it's more like you're an

adult, handle your business, handle your, and also in like a day-to-day relationship. Like, you're not in someone's house and all this shit all the time, right? But I do think like the conversations, I've had many friends that have distanced from some of their other friends because they're like, I don't get down like that. Like that's, that's grimy. I can't trust you if you're doing this or like you're married and this happens. Like, I can't be a part of it. So, I think that's really a thing. And on the summer house side, those are relationships that have been built for a long time. And you're also, like, messing around, like, on the inner workings, like, that's a, that's a tough thing to accept.

So I think that's something that's a lot more common. I've seen people check the other person, even if without their significant other knowing and saying, you know, you got to clean your shit up. You got to, like, figure this out because, like, one, she doesn't deserve that. Two, I can't be a part of it. If they're married and, like, they're running in the same circles, it's like, we can't, like, Don't involve me in this. Yeah, this is just, it's just messy. Or like, it's integrity and it's character.

Yeah. How you do one thing is how you do everything. Like, I don't know. Can you have a guy friend that's fully cheating on his wife and he's still going to be an honest, a good friend to you? Maybe. But I think people are, like, this is who you are as a person. Yeah.

And so I can't, like, I can't trust you. But I think a lot of people have always been like, a lot of men have been like, boys will be boys. I'm not getting involved. That's my bro. Not my business. Yeah. Not my business.

He's a good friend to me. And I am seeing that less and less. I think that like women hold men accountable, but like men have to hold men accountable. Your peers have to hold you accountable. It's fine. All day long, I can say men are fucking trash. That's important also. But I think your friends, your male friends need to say like, even I can't watch this and support this.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Rain and I had a friend that did some stuff that we just like could not look at her the same after. And it was tough. It was like, she hasn't done anything to us personally. But I can't fuck with this. Like we can be cordial, but like, I, like, character matters. Well, I think it's a real thing.

And I think, like, those conversations do happen all the time, though. It's like, hey, you got to address this. You got to, you know, get your shit figured out. And I think if there's, like, the gray area or the confusing point, it's like, at what point do you interject? And, like, what role does that play on the relationship? Like, you know, is it your place to tell John's wife that, hey, this is going on

or is it, do you press John and say, you got to get this cleared up, we're going to distance ourselves, like this is your responsibility? Because I think that's his responsibility, right? Yeah. It's like the dynamics, like no one wants to be around chaos

and no one wants to be around that type of behavior, especially like people doing it consistently. Yeah, I don't, I mean, I don't know that I'd be the person to tell somebody's partner. I don't want to be involved in that type of drama, but I can't be friends with you

if you're doing that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The distance is natural. in that. I know. We've talked about that. Like, what if I was cheating on my husband? Actually, I can't, when you say things like that, it's just a question. No, but I'm like, what? And I was like, Raina, you got to support me, girl. I don't, it would really, it would harm our friendship. Because I would be like, I'm so team Shishong on this. He doesn't deserve this. He's such a good guy, actually.

No, I'm just like, don't even suggest it. But no, I mean, if one of my friends was objectively doing something just so immoral, so like, just devout of any real character, I would. just would be like, this will materially affect our friendship. Right. You know, also don't tell me about this. But now we're in a dynamic where I'm like, don't tell me about your life. And people are like, well, you're judging me. It's like, well, you're doing something that is worth judging.

Yeah, or like it's here in the middle of it. And then it's like, I'm not going to be your like sounding pod or whatever for something that like I can barely like listen to. Yeah, I can't. Right. Yeah. It was interesting though. It was Summerhouse.

I feel like we saw this reckoning. Like, I feel like Jesse is sobbing on stage was this like, men are coming to terms. with like bad male behavior. I think it's clear as day. Like I think that is a true, like authentic representation. And I think it's something that, you know, is common. Like guys are more in tune. I'm not saying that they have it all figured out.

And I think like a lot want to be like even more open, more vulnerable, things like that. But something's got to shift. Like they talk about like loneliness and all that. Like what's the deal? Like, why is everyone single? I'm single. Yeah, but you have a track record of long term serious relationships. You're not pathological.

single. Yeah, like I'm not someone who's like going on a million dates and it's all like falling through. If anything, like I, especially now, like I'm looking if I meet someone, like are we going to have a potential to really build a life together? Yeah. I'm also very secure like, you know, with myself and where I'm at with my career and the things that I'm focused on. I also know that sometimes I'm not the easiest person to be with just because I'm on a plane, you know, 60 times a year and moving around. But I think like a lot of the things that I've done personally and stepped away from certain things in business and even circles is to create more space so I could actually like invest in the things that matter or relationship in the way that I would like to. Whereas before, I don't think I always did that. Okay, just going to take a quick break.

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So you have, how many sisters? Four. Yeah. Oh, did we know this? No brothers. All sisters. No brothers. Three older, one younger.

That's a lot of sisters. Yeah. Like, are you close with all them for the most part? Yeah, I'm close with my entire family. I'm going to get in trouble if I rank them. I'm just kidding. I know. So three or sisters is wild.

How involved are they in your dating life? They approve and like women easily. Have they ever really not approved of a relationship? I got to know the ends and outs. My young sister is, that's my ace. We communicate about a lot of things. She's definitely got her opinions. Ultimately, she just wants me to be happy.

But she knows it in and outs. But she'll also check me if I'm wrong. She'll be like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Get your shit together. Stop acting stupid. Yada, yada, yada. But if she's not feeling someone, oh, they're going to know.

Like, they can be on FaceTime, and I'm like, you know, FaceTiming someone and I'm like, hey, I'll be right back. And she'll be like, take her with you. Oh, my God. It's not the older ones as much as the younger? No, no. It's a, my younger one is, but she's just protective. Okay. Right.

And she knows and she's seen the things I've gone through behind the scenes and relationships. Or like where, you know, I feel like I've just taken like a high road or not created chaos. She's been with me through everything. So she's just very, very protective. but I love that, you know, she's that involved. But I also at the same time make my own decisions. You know, I don't share a lot of my personal stuff with all of my family for a very specific reason.

How would you even have the time? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like you're going to like a group zoo. People want to like protect you, right? So I don't, I don't even talk too deeply with it. I have a select group of friends who I'll really dive into with it. But because everyone has an opinion and it can sway.

And I believe like if there's too many cooks in. the kitchen. You don't even know, like, what the fuck's, like. But is it hard to get those sisters' approval? Or are they pretty open? Or do you have to work for it? I think my family's, like, really accepting, for sure. So I think if anyone, if they show up, if they invest time, easygoing, like across the board. Okay. That's good. Are they in South Dakota? Are they all over? So I've got two down in Georgia in Atlanta and the rest are in South Dakota. Okay. So, but yeah, they're, they're, uh, I'd be getting texts and everything or if they see something they don't like. Have they been like Dale seriously this you can't what do they think about the

bachelor atse's I mean my sister was really excited you know right away I think but whenever she also saw like all the stuff behind the scenes and like some of the stresses that went along with it and she just I think for her she wished I hadn't gone on the show because like everyone goes on the ride with you whether you like it or not yeah and they don't know all the in and outs they don't know like the time you spend with your partner or whatever that they never see but I think it was just a lot of stress on her. And it was also really tough for her to see, like, you know, there's positive comments, but there's also negative. Yeah. And like, that's really, really hard for anyone, you know, especially if they're, they're not used to that space. So. And it was during COVID. I think you

had an even more captive audience than it would have than any other time. I think at that time was the season of the show. I mean, it deserved to be. It was a psychopathic. I mean, we'll see what happens with Taylor Frankie Paul, but like... Are they gonna air it? Yeah. TMZ broke, well, by the time this air is, it will have started airing maybe. But your five episodes? Do you remember how many?

I was four. Four episodes. Four episodes. And they had to find a new bachelorette. We didn't even do the reunion. They did the reunion. The best four episodes in bachelor. Well, I couldn't believe what were being served.

It was insanity. But when you're in it, like I was there and I was like, I feel like I'm just like being myself. And sometimes like, because there's times where people are so polished and put together and whatever, whatever. And I feel like I was just like kind of being myself. And maybe I was like a little naive to like production and cuts and edits. But I was like.

They were like, Dale, you have to propose now. Okay. So I want to hear your feelings on reality TV. Are you done? Would you do more? I mean, you did Bachelor in Paradise after years, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And being in the franchise.

That was like so fun for you to go back. I made that decision last minute. Okay. And honestly, and I've said this before, but like I was really worried about being like emotionally numb. after my relationship ended before the show. Right. It took a lot out of me.

And I think I was legit concerned. I wasn't dating. I wasn't seeing people like that. And I really wanted to let go of control. Also, like, just experience something and kind of put myself out there. You know, I have a role within the franchise over the last X amount of years. So it was cool to, you know, kind of dive in. But also from like an insecurity standpoint, I'll go back to that.

But truthfully, like, I was like, I'm going to stay away from Bachelor, you know, this or that. I'm done with that, but it was a fun experience. Yeah. I have a lot of like friendships, relationships from the show is great. I've really like my time on a dating reality show is definitely definitely probably done. Okay. I think I've out aged out, but also like I've just moved on from a lot of other things. Would you say that breakup was the hardest, toughest breakup you've had?

The one with what we talked about that found you from our show. Yeah, without question. I'm interested in how men handle breakups. I think I know how women do and we've been through that. But like how did you work through that? Like what got you through? Like what advice do you have? You know, I think the biggest thing with that. And I like she's like we're, we're on great terms. I know she's, uh, you know, fine with me. Touch and base on it. But we like really loved each other. Yeah. We honestly had a really strong like great relationship. Yeah. But it was a, you know, pretty eye opening because we're both going through tough things and our personal lives and life, uh, at the same time. Okay. Right. And when that happens, sometimes there can be a disconnect or you, You can develop resentment because you're not able to meet someone else's needs or vice versa. And there was a lot of push pool. Eventually, like, we truly cared about each other enough to say, like, hey, we got to pause this because this is not who we are. This is not how we show up for each other.

And it was tough. And I think the reason, like, it was so tough, you know, looking back at like that time is because we weren't bad people. We really loved each other. But like the dynamic just wasn't working. It wasn't sustainable. and like that was really tough. It's like you got to separate, but this is someone who you,

you know, at the time or like you believe you'll spend the rest of your life with. Yeah, that one, like, that frickin rocked me. Yeah.

I mean, breakups are so hard when it's not like somebody doesn't cheat. They don't betray you in a really terrible way. Your friends don't hate them, you know?

It's not volatile. Yeah, there's nothing like so tangible. Like there's not an event that you hate a person. Like, this like slow drip is really, it's tough.

I want to validate it. It's like, really the worst breakups when you're like, I do love this person. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I think back to like, I'm a master compartmentalizer. I could have the worst thing in the world happened to me. It goes in the back of my brain.

It's like nothing ever happened. That's something that I would do a lot of times with like loss and relationship. But like this one I made it like I really let myself feel it. Yeah. And people saw me in a state that they'd never seen me before. But also I saw a side of people that I had never seen any for because I allowed them to actually like be there for me, which is something that typically I never would do. Do you feel like as a performer? I feel like she and I have to do that. Like if something really bad happens to me, I have to get on

stage. Yeah. Like, do you feel like as a performer also? Yeah. We're on a lot, like a lot, right? So like in my day to day, but I remember like there were times like I could have I was like, I was like, I'm fucking done right now. But it was like the best thing for me like growth wise to let people support me when they could. Yeah. And it helped me move through it quickly. Like, you know. Totally. understood like this had to happen. It's just like the point, but I move through it like really quickly rather than something dragging on. And also like I know I left nothing on the table. And I think we both felt that way. But yeah, you got to feel it. Otherwise you're, you're not getting

through it. Well, that's what women do. Women feel it and we cry and we get the pain out of our body. We talk about it incessantly with our friends and our family and our therapist and men bottle it up. And then it comes out in these ways, various ways, you know, years down the road or, you know, everybody knows the story. This guy. who got his heart broken when he was 20, early 20s and he never. I don't understand. I mean, I'm not like shading anyone there. I just can't.

No, what you did is healthy. Yeah. It's just like, that's how you actually get through it. I don't know. It's not with you forever. It's interesting. Your future relationships.

Like the male loneliness epidemic, like you guys could help yourselves, you know, by talking about your feelings with each other. And instead of just like, drink it out, fuck it out. Yeah, that old, what is it? Get under to get over or whatever. Yeah. What, get over it by getting under it?

Yeah. I mean, everyone goes through their things, but like, yeah, you got to work through your shit. Yeah. This is coming from someone who would bury stuff for years and years and years and years. And it affected me in a lot of ways that, you know, I just was causing myself so much more problems and, you know, issues than I needed to. Yeah, you got to feel it for sure. Yeah. And then I always feel like that worst, terrible breakup, you will never actually go through that again.

I mean, hopefully the next person you find, that will be a good person forever. But it's just like my breakup like that, I was like, I can. get through this. If it were to happen again, I like know I have the strength. Like the moments of like despair, crying on the floor, I feel like I could die. I just think you do it once. That's like so spot on because I hear a lot of people say, oh, I'm afraid of hurting someone or I'm afraid of getting hurt. And I'm like, you know, after some of the things I've gone through, whether it was a loss of my mother or like some relationships, I was like, I can get through this shit one way or another. It doesn't mean it's not going to hurt, it's not going to suck. But like also, if you're going to get to

the levels you want in anything, you got to be willing to go through some pain. Right. You'd be willing for it to like crash and burn at some point. Totally. And then pick yourself up. So I've kind of embraced that. Like, let's go. The pain is just not going to kill you. And I remember my first really bad breakup, the worst of my life. I thought I was going to die from the pain. Like it was just so bad every single day. I just like couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't shower, couldn't leave the house. I was so depressed. And I pushed through it. Like, eventually. you don't think about it 100% of the time. You think about it 99% of the time.

And like, that's a win. And you know you'll get better. And if you really have pain like that, and you lost a parent, like, you know that you can face other pain. Yep. And overcome it. I know. And people just, they try to avoid it.

And I, like, I can think of a, I don't know, I'm like looking at a woman or a man even. And you're like 30s and they're just so scared to go through it. And it's like, it's coming. Yeah. We will all get fucked up by that. Oh, yeah. I'm telling you that it fucked me up.

Like every, you have a bad breakup or whatever, but like some of my friends, there, we'd be in a group there, would be like, oh, don't fuck with Dale right now. He's on edge. He's working through his problems right now. But they knew, like, I was like, whatever emotions were coming for, for a little while, like, you know, three, four weeks, like. Stay away from Dale. Oh, it was all over. I was like telling people, don't come visit me right now because like I, like, you're not going to get the best version of me. Like, I got to work through this. Like, were you leading on like guy friends? Yeah. Like, it sounds like you have a strong circle of male. friends, which is like so healthy. Yeah, my friend, like Duncan, who's a psychologist, but he worked

with me through a lot of things. I've worked, you know, we really, I've been very, very fortunate to have like very emotionally intelligent men in my life, but also like even my father, like, we talk through things, like my closest friends. And it, the funny thing is, like in the moments where I was not expecting to open up or I was, it was visibly, like, I was, I was not okay. the amount of people who I didn't even have that relationship with that came and like kind of consoled or nurtured or like talk through things and then they opened up about their situation and like our relationships and bonds got a lot tighter through that but you have to like let them help you or be there or you got to let yourself kind of fall sometimes yeah and be vulnerable

yeah so that tightened my bond with a lot of people but it also let me know that like whatever on a relationship like if it's the right person I'm not afraid like going all in And because worst case scenario, you're going to be all right at the end of the day. Yeah. So we asked you what you wanted to talk about today. One of the things you had written was that women have raised their standards and it's just changed dynamics with relationships in general and men and how they have to show up. So let's talk about that a little bit. Yeah.

I think like literally men cars, credit cards, like success. Like I think they've always banked on that as far as like almost like a personality trait and value. But like women are making more money than ever. a lot than most men, right? Education. You're looking at, like, their position in the corporate world. So you have people who can provide for themselves, like, point blank, simple. So what do you bring into the table? The joke is like, all you can bring to the table is your personality now. So, like, what do you got? Yeah, yeah. And being like a supportive partner, an emotionally intelligent partner. That's part of the personality. Yeah, yeah, true, true. It really is. Like, they talk about,

like, emotional intelligence and things like that. But I think, like, and in general, too, like, this is not, like, a Like I think back with like my grandparents, my grandma never worked and, you know, my grandpa, like, provided for everything. People were kind of tied to each other because they needed each other to even survive. Sure. Like, that's not the case anymore. And I also think like this old way of like thinking about masculinity, toughness, control. Like you've got to be tough and resilient and everything like that, but you don't have to bury everything. But it's also like a respect thing, right?

Just how would you show up and how are you going to treat people in your day to day? But yeah, I think, you know, there's been a big shift. And I think that's a big reason why women are now like not choosing men, where before it's men choosing women. Well, what do you bring into the table? Yeah. I mean, the amount of incredible women I know that are single. I mean, there's such a disparity between incredible men that I know that are single and incredible women. I mean, half of my girlfriends, a lot of them, almost all them in New York are successful, beautiful, interesting.

They work out. They have hobbies, interests, they're talented. They're all single. Yeah. That's not the case for the men that I know. So women are choosing to just be solo. I've heard so many like conversation, they're like, I don't even care if I'm dating right now because like the pool is so bad or like I'm good.

I'm sufficient by myself. I don't need anyone for any. So like unless they're bringing something to the table, it's not worth my time. Also, I don't want to be like a man hater. Like I think partnership is the most beautiful thing in the world. It enhances your life. It's the best feeling. Romantic love is the best feeling you could ever feel.

Yep. But I think that women just have leaned back and they've just said like, if it cost me my piece, it's too expensive. So you're like a natural provider, you said. Like you kind of alluded earlier that maybe in the past, you've maybe had a little bit of like a savior complex. I'm not accusing you of that. But just in general, you know, wanting to like provide and now women don't need as much

providing for. So have you thought about that? Like kind of had to reconcile that because you want a strong independent woman, but you also want to provide. Yeah. I mean, I think I look forward to it because I like, and I know. know how I should. Let's go. Stop the podcast. Let's get it. I'm trying to say that under her.

Honestly, I know I'm strong and independent, but I can be silenced and I am ready. You can pay my bills. Yeah, I don't need to pay my bills. I'm all set. Let me adjust how it's sit real quick. Maybe you guys should go to date. Maybe you should bring your backpack. You guys should go on a date. Let's talk about that. The fucking backpack. Okay. I don't fucking care about what a standard. Let's talk about if you guys want on a date or not. Okay, that was important to me. Eight years ago, you invited Ashley to what?

By you meet you at an event? It was a premiere. It was a towel. And then Ashley came with a backpack. Yeah, I was just like, hey, like, come, like, let's hang. That's the thing. Like, sometimes I'll be like, I don't even consider, like, is it a date? I just wanted to kick it.

You know, maybe she shows up with a purse or a backpack and then I'll know. Well, it was weird because if I had it, I'm like, I'm like, I hope this is a date, but I'm my backpack. Like, I don't know. Like, yeah, we met and then we had joined the podcast. Then you invited me to whatever it was. It was the movie premiere after party or something. At Tao. And I had been out all day.

I don't know. I checked the backpack at Tao. Like, I don't know. And then I was like, yeah, I don't know. I didn't know what the vibe was. But we're friends and we're cool. Everything worked itself out. I bought her a backpack for her birthday a couple years ago.

And it was a huge misopportunity. I mentioned this. We mentioned this in the podcast. It's been like girls got to eat lore. Like did Ashley and Dale go on a date? I don't know. You tell us. And then.

I would see sometimes in comments. Like if I would comment on your post, which like your post with your, your partner at the time. I'm like, you know, hyping you. I'm in support of it. And people would comment back to me five backpack emojis. You know what? I'm going to, A, I need to get a red backpack. Yeah.

But I like truly, I just was like, I just wanted to like kick it, like get together and get to know you. I didn't consider it like a date or anything. No, it was in a friend zone situation. I get it. It's fine. I'm married now. So don't even worry about it. Yeah.

I wasn't dating like really anybody. honestly. Yeah, I'm like now where he's going to pay my bills and he's just going to hobble me. Let's go. We talk about this because I quote Kiki Palmer all the time with her saying like, I want partnership, but I don't need a man's money. So that's not what I need for a man, but I need support and love. And like I think of what my husband provides for me and like he doesn't pay my bills. You know, like I make more than him. This isn't like a secret. That's not our dynamic. but like what he does for me is it's invaluable like his support for me like I feel like I'm at the

point where I can't I can get through the day without him but he just like supports me so much like I am fine on my own I was fine on my own for 40 years but like I do need him and in a lot of ways you know and I would be fine with Adam of course and I wouldn't he is the best he does he does a lot he like really supports me and he is like emotionally intelligent he does all the things so it's just like I think some relationships have had to be shifted with a woman who doesn't need your like financial support but she wants to your like emotional support and you know you'd be there in that way. Yeah, I agree entirely. And like acts of service is my thing. So like I like doing the small things. And I think like nowadays the small moments and the small things are so rare because people are moving

and all these options, but they're the most important. So I've never had like a worry about how I can show up for someone. I look for someone who's driven, successful, who has their thing. I want to be able to support them in that and not by like trying to like be involved in every aspect of like the business, but just so like I can go on that ride and like be there with them. So that's not intimidating to me. I think like for me that's kind of like the baseline. They don't have to be doing like the most elaborate thing. They just have to be like really, really passionate about it and work hard on it. So yeah, I mean, I look for that heavily. All right, well, guys, if you felt the bill, slide into Dale's damn.

No, I have a question for you. You travel all the time. You're always on the road. You're always in an airport bathroom taking a selfie. That's his thing. It like popped off randomly. So I was like, let's just ride it. It's just right.

Yeah. And so how do you make a partner feel secure in the relationship? Do you have to even think about it or is it natural to you? Like, do you have to kind of think, like, I need to be consistent and text or whatever it is because I'm gone all the time. I make it a big point that even. when I'm not there, like they're a priority in the relationship. So that could be the text. That could be a heart here.

That could be this or that. Because I think a lot of times when there's separation, it's like you have your life when you're together. Obviously, there's some shifts when you're not. But like as far as like insecurities about like what they're doing or I've never really had anyone try to like control my movements outside of like maybe a few moments. I think different rules apply to different partners. And we've said this before.

Like I think if somebody's with you and they feel like you want to be with them and you're intentional and you're trustworthy, then post your airport. Selfies. Yeah. You know? You just seem, I mean, you know, I've never dated you because I was that one month. But like you just. One night.

One month. One night. It was a glorious night. You seem like a solid partner. Like, is that the feedback you get mostly? Like, yeah. I don't see you as like a woman wondering where she stands in a relationship with you. Yeah.

Like I don't do well with gray area. And I think like in some of the relationships what like if there was gray area, I made it pretty clear that like I'm clear on like this might not be. Yeah. where it's at. So, and if I'm investing in someone, like, you're going to know it. And I'm not afraid of, like, doing too much or all this stuff. Like, I'd rather do that than, and let them know where they stand and how I see them. Ladies, he will love to bomb you. I mean, even, like, picking up the phone and calling to talk to someone. Like, people are like, I, like, no one ever calls me. I've never

experienced this. I wanted to ask you this. I just saw a clip. You did a podcast recently. You said, like, you'd be calling people and they're like, what's happening? Yeah, it's like, I like to hear someone's voice and check in and like, yeah, there's this. But like, you know, pick up the phone. Like, I'm not trying to keep tabs on you. I just want to hear your voice and see how you're doing. And that's like such a foreign thing. Like you're texting for like a month at a time and like you barely know the person's voice outside. No, I want to get on the phone every single day. Oh, like, for sleeping together. Like Ashley doesn't call me. Ashley, we've probably called each other. I don't know. It's an emergent. It's like a really serious. Yeah. We like really need to talk

something through. Like something's really bad. Yeah. Have you like call, if you ever called someone in they're like so flustered. Like someone you're newly dating, do you just call? Like just... Yeah, I mean, I think like, there's been times, like I literally,

I can hear it in their voice when, like, they're so shocked. Yeah, like, what the fuck is going on? Like, why are you calling me? Yeah, if she called me, I would be like, what happened?

Yeah, and it's like, texting and it's like, look, like, I'm just gonna pick up the phone this is easier. And truly, like, they're shocked. Multiple people have said, I've never had a guy call me

in the first, like, all they do is text. And I'm like, just quick check in. I want to, surprise face time but like only if I'm sleeping with somebody everybody else now right at the face time thing with anyone like no one has my location outside of like I think one person oh really it's not even like a hide thing it's just like because I don't look and see where my friends are I have

their location but I never look at it and like the random face times you don't like a random face time sometimes but as a whole like if it's like all the time like all the people randomly face time the only people only somebody with the net with my nephews is the only real face my sister-in-law with my nephew. My brother better FaceTime me. Yeah. Yeah, my sister, she facetimes me, like, go off and like, I mean, I think it also like if, you know, I'm in relationship, faceTime me, like all you want or just, you're probably going to get, hey, is everything okay? I don't know. I just don't. Like, the random face times are just one thing that. Well, you're a millennial. Like, you're in that you had to grow up calling girls on the landline, you know, and their dad could answer. And I think that's like a very millennial thing is like, we do want to talk on the phone, but like the FaceTime. generation is a little. Do you talk for hours? I just say, like, let's tap in. Like, what's that?

Oh, but we're long distance all the time. But like today. Like, like, when you're here. Yeah, I do. Yeah, like, you guys will face time. It's like also like reminiscent of our previous long distance relationship. Like, so we, so it's like hard to say. Yeah, like, are we doing it because it like brings us back or we really want to see each

other. Okay. Oh, like, if you're seeing someone, that's different. That's different. That's what I'm saying. Romantic relationships and your nieces and nephews. That's what I'm, that's, thank you. Like, I don't really need to FaceTime.

my friends. No, what are friends? FaceTime. I don't want that. Well, yeah, usually you know it's some random, like, other person who's on there that I probably don't want to talk to. Right. Oh, right.

Like, oh, I just got with this person. No, you got to meet a fan. Or, like, I'm, oh, yeah, sometimes. And I'm like, hey, what's up? But, like, can you, like, just clear it before? Never do that again. Or they're out, like, fucked up. And it's like.

Uh-huh. I have a male comedian FaceTimmy once. And he was like, I want you to, like, talk to these girls. I was like, you FaceTimed me to get pussy? Don't do that. Right. You have to do a meet and greet. Can't you just do this on your own?

I've had people where they're like, will you take a picture with my wife? And I'm like, yeah, totally. Like, you know, but it's kind, right? But then he's like, dude, I'm so going to get laid tonight from this. That's crazy. Like, this is fucking weird. Exactly. That is such a funny thing.

I swear. I've had that happen like multiple times. Wait, I also forgot that you FaceTime us during that Boston show. Yeah. What I called in. I forgot about this. You called in. So that's the night I met my husband, by the way.

Oh, wow. That show is like, lives forever. It's a crazy show. That's the night that I met this guy that I wrote a whole comedy hour about. Yeah. That was October 2021. We were all in costume. I was wearing like a taco because you have the whole taco.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. That goes way back. Is it party city? Yeah. So I went in. Are you embarrassed by this deal? So I went in for something.

I thought it was Broadway. The modeling industry, right? You could do like something great. and then you have like some random. And I walk in and they have all these costumes. I was like, what the fuck? And my agent's like, dude, just get through it. Like they're paying you like really well.

It'll never see the light of day. And I'm like, because and there's like multiple eyes like, I'm not doing that. They had some weird shit in there. But the taco one. Wait, so what year was this? Whoa, probably 17. Okay. So, yeah.

So if you guys don't know what we're talking about, obviously Dale is a model. And these, once you kind of got fame on the reality TV, people found your old modeling photos from Party City. And you're wearing this taco costume, which I own. I own one as well. I'm not going to lie. Okay. You stole it for the shoe.

No, they sent it because they thought it was going to be funny and I was going to do this whole thing. And then I was like... So these pictures came out, whatever. Bottom line is that's what I dress for that show in Boston. And we called you anyway. You know, you're fresh off the bachelor. Yeah.

You face time. Maybe we've got a little clip of it in the episode. We've this great reel of us calling you. And Ashley's in this taco costume and you pop up on stage and the audience goes bizarre. Insane. I remember that. She actually answered.

Shishonks in the audience. Like, I can't compete with this. I came here to try to meet this girl. Oh my God. This is crazy. This guy I would fall in love with is filming it.

Like, this is really crazy. Yes, exactly. It was so funny. Well, Deal, this is so lovely. Yeah, this was amazing. Thanks for coming back on. And tell everybody, whatever you want to plug. Like, can you direct people to try to get on the app?

Yeah. I mean, You can see things I'm doing on social media, Instagram, a little bit on TikTok. But A-team, truly, I think that we're building something that's going to change the way that people connect. A-team.co, you can download it in the app store and A-team.com on Instagram. And we're launched here in New York City. It's hit right now. Do you know Bobby?

You do. Yeah, Bobby West Side. Well, I just feel like Adonis. Yeah, Adonis and everything. Okay. I love this. We're going to work on some stuff together here pretty soon. Oh, great.

Okay. Well, you guys know where to find us. Girls Got to eat.com. all Scott E. Podcasts on Instagram and TikTok. I'm Ash Hess and Instagram and TikTok. Raina is Raina.org.com for her tour tickets. You can watch full video on Spotify or YouTube. Watch this one for sure on video. We recommend it. Share it with a friend. And we will see you guys. Have a good week, guys. Bye.