Girls Gotta Eat - Are We All Stalkers?

Episode Date: January 25, 2021

Real talk -- most of us have an inner stalker and women are born with innate detective skills so let's get into it. We're talking about all the crazy avenues of finding info on the internet, whether you should stalk before a first date, how far is too far, harmless stalking vs. invasive snooping, creeping on a current partner vs. an ex, tracking device hacks (LOL), hotel security, and more. Of course we're sharing some of our own stalker stories and hilarious submissions from our listeners. And we're also catching up on the inauguration, a recent Bachelor nation breakup, and TV/movie recommendations both old and new. This episode is dedicated to our angel boy Dewey whose spirit will always live in the house studio.

So, like, you got to be sure that today is the day. No. People are not using their AirPods as a tracker. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome back. We have a female vice president. Also, I almost got you to record before the sun went down. I got here three hours ago. Guys, I almost got her. We got 20 minutes of low-key sunlight. Not really, though.

I got here at 1.30. It's 4.30. We had a lot to do. We did to do a photo shoot. It's funny when I tell people I have to do a photo shoot, but it's you coming over. Like I was like, sorry, I can't talk about a photo shoot. And people picture like a, they're picturing like hair makeup and it's just like me in a robe and you. I tell me about that too. And it's just Jeremy in my apartment.

I'm changing in front of him. I'm just taking my shirt off because I couldn't be less sexually attracted to a person. We're not lying. It's a photo shoot. Yeah. Someone's taking photos. Just not what you think. Yeah.

So we just want to give a quick, I don't know how to say this. I feel like my heart's beating. So you guys might already know that Dewey is no longer with us. He passed away now a couple weeks ago at this point. And so he is no longer here with us in the house studio. Of course, he's here with us in spirit. We are not going to really talk about it a lot today. I'm not ready.

I thought I was going to be ready. And I'm not. And we want to share. I want to share what happened. We know you guys loved him so much too and talk just about grief and just share a lot about it, but it's going to be a few weeks. So, yeah, I'm just not ready. But we just at least wanted to acknowledge it because so many of you guys know by now, you saw it on my Instagram.

And if you didn't, surprise. And so many of, you know, my friends and family have been so wonderful. Dr. Lisa Littman has been my angel through all of it. She's a former guest in this podcast. If you want to do anything for Dewey, just go follow her. support her. She's just, I cannot stress enough. I couldn't have like gone through all this without her. And of course, Raina and everybody. And then just you guys have been so incredible. So I mean, I posted this on Instagram and just got thousands of comments and DMs and emails and fan art and just so much.

And they were so kind and they were so wonderful. And I'll talk more about this in a few weeks. But I just want to say thank you to everyone who reached out. And I apologize if I don't respond to a message. If you sent it to me, I've read some. even if I was able to respond. I'm trying to get through them as much as I can without stressing myself out. But they do. They really have made me feel better. And I'm just so appreciative.

So to those of you guys who reached out and messaged, thank you so much. You know, I love you. Doey loves you. He was so loved. And it just, it means the world. And, you know, this broke my heart. But, you know, I'm getting back to normal. I'm clearly going to be fine and record this episode.

but we're not ready to do the full-blown talk about that yet, and that will come soon. So a little more info, if you want to read the Instagram post on kind of like what happened. I mean, he was an old guy. He had cancer. So, yeah. No, I'll cry.

No, God damn it. I'm really, I'm proud of you for how you handled this. I think that he meant so much to you and your family and this audience. And I told you we didn't have to record an episode. You know, like you wanted to do it. You wanted to do an episode for our audience. Yeah. I just, I loved him and so many people loved him, but I'm just, you know, we're going to

Oh, God. Yeah, as you guys can tell, it's going to take a while. We're fine. We're fine. No, it'll probably be in a few weeks. And we want to celebrate his life too. So we, but we, I learned a lot. Raina learned a lot just about kind of like grief and like how to even talk to friends that

are grieving a loss of any kind. And we have a lot to say. And we want to give him, you know, the full celebration of life he deserves, but that is not happening today. I can't even give you one sentence about it about you and Am. It's been, I mean, I thought I was all cried out and I was not. And we were supposed to record yesterday. It is Saturday, guys.

Just so you know, it's Saturday before the episode comes out. So we just push this as far as we could. Raina's been so wonderful. And just like, we don't have to do it. I'll get a guest co-host. Actually, Raina was like, she was offering up who would do it. She's like, we could do like, I could just like co-host it with like Dylan or something for them.

I always had you. I've waited for so long to call us. This is somebody else. But I will say, then you were like, and maybe Chris could edit it. And I was like, who, I actually would love to not edit it. So if Chris could do that. No. So, yeah, that's, we'll just, we have some announcements.

We're going to just keep it rolling. And, you know, we took our moment for Dewey and we'll talk more about it in the coming weeks. Yeah. Thanks, guys. We love you. Okay. So you take it away.

we have another. Oh, okay, I'll now separate. So we have all new merch coming out this week. I'm so excited. We've worked so hard on it. Our designer, Alyssa, worked really hard on it. She's phenomenal. Tuesday, all the sayings that you guys love.

We asked you what you wanted to see. And we put it on the merge. So go off, vibes only. Snackhead, fuck around and find out. We've got hats, sweatshirts, tanked us, phone cases. Yes, beanies. It looks so good. I'm always, like, so proud of our merch.

I'm just like, you guys, like, do the cutest. Instagram stories. You just like style it so well. And you guys are just all like, it just, it warms our heart to see you guys and all this. So, um, this is Monday. So tomorrow, everything will be out Tuesday. Yes. Um, flood the story. You guys have already gotten all the new mugs, the burning mugs and the White House mugs. Um, we got tons of new stuff for you guys. Um, inspired by what you guys wanted to see. Yeah. We can't wait. As always, like, we have an amazing designer. Her name's Alyssa. We've been tagging her recently. But Raina really takes the reins on this. So you've just been logging so many hours on this damn merch. So shout it to Raina.

I get in there, I do a few things. I creatively contribute. We come up with all the designs together, but the radio goes in and just really hits it hard on the merch. It's fun. I love it. And we love that you guys love the merch and we're excited to put it out for you guys. So we hope that you love it.

Check it out tomorrow in the store. It's girls got eapodepodcast.com is our website for obviously live shows, merch, episodes, and then girls gotepockets. Shop if you want to go directly to the store. Yes. And speaking of live shows, okay, I need to hype this more because we have planned out a lot of it and it is going to be so epic. So this is our virtual live show on Thursday, February 11th. It's a Valentine show. It's just for everybody. It's for the single

ladies. It's for the couples. It's for, I mean, watch with your fucking parents. We don't care. It's going to be so incredible. Like, it will be the best one we've had so far. It just is. Like who we have booked, surprise guests, performances, the stories we have to share. I can't wait. Something happened to me. That has never happened to me before, and I'm going to talk about it. Like, crazy stories, crazy stories from you guys. Like, I cannot stress this enough. Like, yes, the holiday show was amazing, incredible, never been done before.

Perfect. Wonderful. But this will top it. It just will. I am, oh, you're done. I was like, I feel so hyped. I'm so excited about it. I just, the guests are amazing.

Former guests. Crazy stories. Obviously, we're going to talk about your vagina. I already feel the text coming from Bill Greenberg, where he's like, I need to hear about Ashley's vagina literally every week. I'm like, who told you to listen to this shit? Yeah. So yeah, my dad will be watching. He's probably heard about a ticket. You're like, Dad, you can get a free one. He's like, I just want to support Ashley's Vag in this time of neat. But no, it's going to be incredible. And you will be able to watch it after the show. We recommend you watch it live. Because you will get spoilers if you don't. But if you are not able to, you have to work. You live in a country where the time zone is not appropriate to watch it. I don't know if it's four in the morning. We think you should still get up and watch it. If you're a real fan, but again, if not, you'll have access to it for at least a few days afterwards. So if you want to watch it on February 12, 13th,

14th, Valentine's Day, whatever it is, you can do that, get your drinks out, get your sharkochy boards, like all the things. This is going to be like the best way to celebrate valentines. Yes, it's going to be so epic. And then just two little housekeeping things. One, one code per user. You can't share codes. And then secondly, don't even try it. If you guys, if you guys have questions, email the ticketing website. Yeah, because I'm sick of answering this now. I don't know what to tell you. Yeah. I'm going to, I'm like, I'm going to tell you. I'm like performance don't have access to your information. Yes, it's called on location.

Yeah. On, they just hit them up. Bother them. Yeah. We, listen. They make a lot of money off us. Don't email us. Make them work for it.

Am I going to cut that? Nope. It's going to be there. So that's on our website as well. All the tickets, GirlsGuttypockets.com, episodes, partners, everything, GirlsGuttypockets.com. Okay. What next?

I'm really excited. This intro is so funny. This episode is so funny. We're talking about, like, stalking and snooping. It's just, like, so many cut up stories. I, like, really can't wait. You bitches are nuts. We asked you guys, like, for your tips and tricks and stories.

You guys are insane. Honestly, I'm here for it. We'll get to that. We got all kinds of stuff. We got Dale and Claire. We got the inauguration. We got Rex. Rex on Rex.

Jesus Christ. Okay. Let's just really quick. New president alert. The inauguration. I mean, what's to say? It was amazing. Michelle Obama.

The fashion was amazing. Michelle Obama just slayed Bernie, obviously the best meme of the century probably. Shut down memes. You know, everything, nothing terrible happened. You know, we have a woman in the White House, a woman of color. I feel freed of like all this political turmoil.

I just feel like adults are there and they got this. And I can just return to the internet. And I have done nothing but think about Army Hammer and Kristen Cavalieri and Jay Cutler and Bernie Sanders all week. I've done nothing besides actually look at gossip sites. Yeah. I don't have to think about other.

stuff. It's been amazing. The Katie Perry Firework song at the very end of the inauguration day. Fireworks. Also, you said the funniest thing. You were like, Joe needs to go to bed. He's tired. Okay. Well, it was like, well, I was just like, is Joe really going to bang out a full day?

He was like, how is Joe out here getting inaugurated in the morning, then doing 17 executive orders, then he's got to watch fireworks at night? in place of the ball. Like, Joe is tired. Did he get a nap? Leave Joe alone. Joe was like John King on his like, his 16th hour of work. I mean, I'm here for it.

You think that's the longest thing. No sleeper to have about it. I know. He's like, aren't you sleepy, Joe? Aren't you sleepy? He was like, no. And guess what?

I don't even need a Diet Coke and I'm going to remove that button from the White House desk. That was crazy. And he was just like, and my wife's going to have three outfit changes. We're going to have every color of coats. Garth Brooks. I'll tell you who loved Garth Brooks was Trish. Trish? Well, Trish, obviously Trisha Yearwood is Trish's spirit animal.

And she knew that Garth would show up in boots and ruin your black tie fare. Blame it all on his roots. This is good. I cannot believe he just wore jeans and boots. I love me some Garth Brooks. Everybody loves Garth Brooks. He's the great unifier. Well, he's the number one recording artist.

of all time. Of all time. He outsold the Beatles. Thunder rose. Also, my favorite was when the CNN anchor. Another heart grows cold. Ashley's money is fun. Don't get me going.

Don't get me going. I'll sing the dance too. Okay. What were you saying? Oh, my favorite was the CNN anchors were talking to each other. I forgot like one of them was like, A-Rod's there? And someone else was like, yeah, his wife is performing. Like, that guy, like, I got roasted so hard on CNN. There was just like joy all day.

People were just making fun of each other and laughing. Why did J-Lo go, let's get loud? From sea to shining sea. Why did that song fucks, that's why. Every time I'm more... Yes, it is one of my favorite J-Lo songs, but that was misplaced and really weird. It was just weird. It was just weird.

Listen, go off J-Lo, but that was weird. J-Loh was everywhere. I feel like we just had the Super Bowl. Like, she could have a stop. Okay, the next thing I want to read. We're going to talk about something. I'm going to read a DM that we got from a listener. I hate this DM.

Honestly, fuck this person. Okay, this is a girl DM to us. As if we needed to be reminded. Please acknowledge the Claire and Dale breakup on the next week's episode. I'm messaging you because I know Ashley won't bring it up. She's trying to hide the cheese in love with him. Bitch, if you are trying to hide it,

you are doing the world's worst job in the entire world because you talk about it every week. Hide it. Trying to hide it? Hide it. I posted. On my Instagram story, the second I found out the dumb and dumber meme that says, so you're telling me there's a chance.

With a backpack. With a backpack emoji. Just about tagged him in it. I liked his breakup post. I wrote Live Your Truth under it. Like, I'm not hiding anything. But we've talked about him for weeks. Also, you said to be very funny.

And you were just like, you're going to ambush me on my own podcast. She's like, Raina, I dare you to bring this up because Ashley won't. What? Ashley edits the podcast. Also, I'll say it. Her name was Claire. And I don't like the way she spelled it. So I... Listen, Claire, you're welcome because I am going to drag her.

I did ambush her. Yes. And you know what Ashley? Ashley is not in a sensitive fragile space at all. Claire, my dog just died. Be out here. Ashley this. Can I get a week?

His girl's like, you better put her on blast on the show that she edits. On the show that you've recorded. her home, on her couch. It's so funny. And I just have to say, sorry, Claire. That was weird. It was misplace.

Dare. Dare. You can't get it right. Claire and Dale broke up. We are shocked. We are. Listen. But I do really do.

I really do believe that like Claire, whether you like or not, was like really in love with him and thought that was going to be her husband, father of her children, whatever. There's cheating rumors. I don't have anything to say. about them. They seem like rumors. They could be true. We don't know. I'm going to give anybody

in that situation the benefit of the doubt. Yeah, I mean, I'm not in love with Dale. I can't stress enough. You guys. It's a joke. He's so hot. If you, listen, I don't know. Okay. If you are, I would not say he could eat my pussy. What do you? I'm not out here. Just blow it. Like, no. If you really are a girls got to eat fan and like you know me and you know my personality, and my style of sense of humor, sarcasm, and you also follow Dale. Like, you know that's not a match there. Like, he's not, we are friends.

Like, we're not. He's, like, silly. And I just, we're not going to be, I think you can tell. Like, right. He's self-helpy and Montre. It's not your guy. He's just the company that we're going to be friends with.

Yeah, I'm not trying to date. Like, I don't know. And I just think there's a lot swirling around. There's nasty things being said about her and him. And, like, we're not going to go there. I hope you guys didn't think that we would. But yeah, they're broken up and I would fuck him. And I would show my backpack.

Yes, you would. In those high water jeans. In a strong mom gene. Listen, I'll tell you one thing. The second towel opens back up. I'm calling Dale. I'm going to break out my backpack. And we're going to towel.

Honestly, I would just pay Dale to walk into room. I also just like, I'm pretty certain if I was like, hey, Dale, do you want to like go out and go to town? he'd be like, yeah. But I like that you also said, like, we don't know what the rumors are. Like, I don't know anything to say about it. Like, I think that people have said terrible things about me and you on the internet. They're not true.

No, it's so true. Like, I think what's, it's one of the sickest things. And it's just that people really do fabricate stories out of thin air with details. And they're just not real. Just remember these people are human beings, you know, with jobs and families and friends. And no one is born into a world knowing how to deal with this, you know? Like, whether you're on national. television or not. So like, I don't know.

I don't know anything else to say about it. Yeah. Who knows if it was true? I mean, I am for one shocked that a couple that met at the Lakinta resort and decided to get engaged after 12 days of knowing each other split up. Did you see Fat Carrie Bradshaw's reel? It was... He does so many. Which one? So Fat Carrie Bradshaw is a former guest of ours. That's not an insult. That's his name. And that's his Instagram handle. Someone's like, oh my God. Did she dispatching? And he, it was a real of like Claire. Like the background was La Kinta. And it was like he had a blonde wig on. he showed up and he was like, hey, is there anyone still here? Did you guys love that prank I did where I just like pretended to leave the tail?

And he was like, is anyone still here? That's so funny. He puts a lot of work into that stuff. It's really amazing. His episode was exactly one year ago. And now we have wrecks. Ashley has a really, I'm not sure if you guys have ever heard of this movie. Yeah.

So I really wanted to tell you guys about this movie. I just watched the first time last week. And it stars Whitney Houston. and Kevin Costner, it's called The Bodyguard. It's from 1992. So I just cannot recommend this amazing film from 1992 enough. Okay, I had not seen The Bodyguard. I don't know.

I know. Listen, it was the very first R-rated movie I've ever seen. Yeah. I still remember when the guy breaks in, jacks off in her bed. And I was not old enough to understand that concept. Yeah, and that's like maybe one of those things you just didn't even get it and just passed you by.

I hope so, but I think I remember understanding it. I didn't really totally realize that all of the best songs are actually from the bodyguard. So I guess I had the bodyguard soundtrack as a kid. But I guess I just thought those were like her songs and they put them in the bodyguard. They were made for the bodyguard. So I didn't realize that. Like I have nothing. I'm every woman, I think.

Like I will always love you obviously was from the, I mean, it's just the music is incredible. Anyway, we just thought it was funny because that is probably the oldest one I've recommended so far. But I think you guys will like it. What year is home alone? Oh, 1990. You're right. So we've been older. But you have a wreck too.

My throwback rack, I started, so I made a list the other day of, like, all the shows that I've never seen, like, everyone has seen Arrested Development. It's just been on my list for a long time. I watched it. It's from 2003. It's an ensemble cast. Michael Sarah is in the show. He's trying to fuck his cousin.

And Portia Rossi or DeRossi. DeRossi. She, it's a great show. Guys, it's about this family and it's super rich and they lose all their money. And it's just like, it's sort of shot almost like a documentary style the way, like, the office is, like the filming of it is, like kind of, but it's great. Honestly, if you just want. want something mindless to pass the time, like, that's the show. It's very smart. It's very funny. It's

from 2003. Oh, my God. Okay. And then you tried to surprise me with a wreck. It was cute. I found the show and I just was like maybe it hasn't populated up on Raina's Netflix. Obviously, I knew she saw it. She would watch it. But I was like hoping I could be like telling her about it on the podcast and get her real time reaction. Of course, that did not happen. And I, she actually recommended it to me two days ago. And I was like, bitch, I watch. the whole season already. So it is Bling Empire. So good. I think it is, my description of it is crazy rich Asians meets selling sunset. That's everyone's description. Like I looked at like all Oh really? Okay. I just thought people saying like Kardashians. I'm like it's not like the Kardashians.

The person that created the Kardashians actually created. Oh, they did. Okay. Which you can feel that for sure, but it's not about a family. It's about the vibe is more selling sunset. They're like friends. And they all come together. It's just a reality show that feels like crazy rich Asians, which, Who doesn't want that? I think it's great. I think they touch on all kinds of different concepts. I like learning about another culture. I think that they touch on really heavy stuff.

And this girl is a boyfriend that I would say verbally abuses her. Absolutely. You know, they talk about infertility. Yeah. They talk about marriages out of wedlock and, you know, having to connect your family. There's some really deep concepts here.

I love a reality show with men and women. You rarely see it. And ages, different ages. Different ages. This is like Southern Charm almost, how like the broad range of ages. Yes, you almost never see it. And let me tell you,

I stay on a season one reality. show. They all have the original faces. Yeah. Well, not, I mean, yeah. Well, they could work. Those people don't, actually. They live in LA. They have too much money. Actually, none of them have an original face. Listen, normal reality shows. Then I love when people, like, haven't become total narcissist and, like, just won't like apologize for anything because they want, like, a storyline. Yeah.

So, like, almost every conflict in all reality shows could be resolved by just saying, like, I'm sorry I was late to dinner, but instead they make it the storyline for all 12 episodes. Yeah. And then third... The penis pump. Yes, the penis pump. Like, third, my favorite is. that like they all still sort of like each other because they haven't watched everybody else drag them on national television. Yes. All those things I co-sign. I really like it. And there's like just enough drama. You know, I don't like too much drama. I don't like like a ton of yelling and screaming all

the time. Like it's like, it's like, it's like low key drama. And I like it throws me off. Like if I, if someone was like, hey, there's a show called Bling Empire. What's it about? I'm going to be like some rich family that runs a jewelry store. You know, I can't remember what it's called. I've been calling it this bling thing. That's people don't, it doesn't, it doesn't come to you. Yeah. It doesn't come to you. Yeah. It doesn't come to you. So Bling Empire, Arrested Development, and the Bodyguard. Yeah, check them all out. Are we going to make an Instagram post that recommends the bodyguard?

I like things that age well. It's nice. I want somebody to do a double take and be like, do they just recommend it? I'm going to write 1992 on it. Just so you guys don't think it's a remake. Okay. I'm excited for today. We are so excited to talk about this.

We're going to talk about snooping, stalking, on a first date, current relationships, exes. And we've talked about like more deeper, heavier stuff, not trusting your partner on other episodes. Yeah. You guys can reference, but we're just going to tell funny stories and give some advice. Yeah, I'm trying to think of just other episodes that dig deeper. Definitely episode 69, which is, is he microcheating?

And that's going to tell you a little bit more about when you're in a relationship with somebody and their social media behavior. So we have covered that in depth. I'm trying to think of like, we did a cheating episode. I talked about finding out somebody who was cheating on me. We want to say up top, like, stalking and snooping

are really two different things. Like, we'll get to it, but like, we're not condoning that you invade people's privacy again. We'll get to it towards the end. But like, we're going to keep, we're keeping this more light.

Like the stalking that you do, we're not talking about like really breaking in people's homes, not that kind of stalking, you know, following them in your car, not that kind of stuff. Like really like social media stalking and in a light way. Because we really don't condone like harmful behavior. behaviors and toxic behaviors.

I mean, this is not like a toxicity podcast. Go to another podcast if you want to listen to that. But we don't condone doing something that's going to be bad for your mental health or the health of your relationship or invading somebody's privacy in like a really terrible way. So we want to say that up top. Like obviously we mean this is like lighthearted snooping, finding out funny stuff about people, not like, yeah, breaking into their homes and things like that.

And for your own benefit. Yeah. We don't. Not so you can post it on the internet and drag people. Like we're talking about what you do for your own information because that's different too. and then we're not talking about that today. Because, like, I think it's weird that people, like, dedicate their lives to, like,

digging into people's, like, past. It's just weird. So this is more just, like, what you do with people. You're dating. You're about to date. That kind of thing. Yeah. We're in a tight and funny stories.

I just want to open up and say that back in my day, we had to just drive by people's houses. We asked people for, like, tips and tricks for, like, funny shit you did. And, like, a couple people wrote, like, drive-bys. But, like, we, you know, I had social media towards the end of, college. And so really, I didn't, I did not have social media in high school. I didn't have, we know we didn't have smartphones and I didn't have smartphones, a smartphone on college. It was just a totally different world. So like, we had to like be out here in high school

memorizing class schedules. Running background checks. But like in college, like, oh my gosh, the guy was just like so in love with off and on in college. We did date and like hook up. Like this wasn't like a creepy from afar. But like I just kind of like stayed into him when he was. not into me anymore. We would just drive by. Ashley, my boyfriend right after college, I would drive around Pittsburgh just trying to find him. I knew like the five bars he went to. And I just drove my ass around Pittsburgh until I found his ass and walked into the bar, IRL and chewed him out for whatever kind of shady ass bullshit. He was on that day. Yes. And like I would just be out here like analyzing an away message to death on AIM. Like, what does it mean? Where could he be?

Do you remember fucking people so bad? I would like put up some real trigger. hearing a message and I just like wouldn't touch my computer as long as humanly possible. We're really dating ourselves. It's okay. We didn't have all these tools back then. I just had to drive around cities until I found people. I just keep thinking about high school. Like you would just have to be like, okay, he's going to be outside Mrs. Johnson's class at this time. And you just have to go strep by. Like I would just be like, okay, I know his schedule on this day. You would have to know what lunch they were in. Like it was like. I will say, I will say, back in our day, there were way less avenues given to people to act like a

shady piece of shit. Of course. People just, like, acted better. Oh, and I, like, I say all the time, I'm so glad I, like, grew up without social media. I mean, you know, like, I remember one guy in college, I, like, we hooked up. I wanted to stock him the next day. All I could find was, like, his student directory ID photo.

Anyway, okay. Okay. So I think the first thing that we wanted to talk about is should you, should you stock somebody, should look into them a little bit before a first date. Ashley and I, 100%. That is what the internet is for. you should be out here researching people. I was going out with this guy and he texted me one day and was like,

I can't fucking believe you're looking at my leg, Dan. And I was like, you're damn right. I was like, no shame. He was laughing. He thought it was funny. But he was like, you crazy bitch. No. 100%.

Yeah. I'm going to believe that you are what you say you are. Like, it's so funny. Like, yes, the question, do you stalk before a first date? A hundred percent of the time. And this just goes back to what we talked about with John Burger a couple weeks ago. You want to find out, especially if it's a stranger. from an app. If they are who they say they are, what their job is, like, I'm always doing this 100%

of the time. Like, I also, I mean, I want to know you could, I'm happy to ask this straight up out of the gate, like, before we've even met. But I do want to know what their political affiliation is, too. I want to see if they have some crazy Instagram with a bunch of MAGA memes. I mean, probably not. I'm probably not going to, like, I'm probably going to be able to tell that by their dating profile. But I want to see what's out there. And I don't go too far. So I don't want to do anything that I wouldn't want done to me. So if someone, I don't want them to, but if they found my Instagram and they looked at it before we met up, that's totally fine. I wouldn't want them listening to the podcast. If they want to cue it up and hear my voice, all for it, because I want to hear

somebody's voice because I've been in situations where I meet someone, I hate their voice. So, but I wouldn't like, if the roles were reversed and I saw a guy had a podcast or something did things on dating and I wouldn't go read all of his blog or listen to all of his podcast before meeting him because I want to make, I want to get to know him without all that. I mean, first, there's, all of this is like limits and boundaries, right? Like, I just want to know, like, you said that somebody is who they say they are, but like the story of their life, I want to let them control that and tell it to me. And, you know, I don't like it when somebody, like, checks out my whole social media and knows everything I did

this month before I like, because I want to control that narrative. Right. I'd rather than not, you know, like, and I also want to have stuff to talk about on the date. Like, I want them to be able to control the narrative. I just want to know, like, do you live where you say you live? Are you working in the place you're working. I think that there are a lot of women who have been really burned by people that were maybe married or had a kid or things like that.

And they're like, I don't trust anybody. And like, I do think you should get therapy if you have like really serious trust issues or if you're consistently picking people that are just like not nice people. I would look into it. If it's a pattern, I'd look into anything if it was a pattern.

I don't have any bad patterns so I don't have to go to therapy. Yeah, you don't. But I think that just verify the details. I want to know that somebody like, it's nice when I see a photo of somebody like with their dad. I know they're close with their family or they have friends. That's it. Well, also, I think this may be something more that men would do.

I think we all do. We wanted to make sure they look like what they look like. You know what I mean? You can always use old pictures on your profile. You may not look that. I just want to verify that you look like what I'm seeing the person I'm about to go out with. I wanted to share just a couple things I've done very recently to find out, like just to give tips and tricks. A guy recently I went out with, most people now I'm noticing don't have their last name on Hinge. I'm took mine off long ago. And it just as self-employed, I'm not trying to really tell people what I do until I meet them in person. But I've noticed most guys just have their first name too. So I'm really out here trying to find out who they are beforehand. So this guy went out recently, I asked his dog's name

and I just had a feeling that dog had an Instagram. Like by the breed, I was like, I just know that dog's Instagram. That dog had a very unique name. Went to the dog's Instagram and then saw a picture of him with the dog, found his Instagram right away. And then another guy recently, he had a pretty interesting name. Not like crazy out of this world, but not like John. It was more interesting and he went to MIT and I was able to find him that way. It took a little bit

more digging but I found him because his job, what it listed on Hinge was a little ambiguous and I just wanted to see for sure what he did and he had a really cool job. And then one time I went a little too far and I was nervous that this guy was like kind of catfishing me and Rob ran a background check with his phone number

and that spiraled and then I found out so much about him and like something about his family and I was like I can never pretend to not know this and then I was I found a New York post article about him and his family and I just like I went too hard and I was like I was like I'm not going to say what it was but I was just kind of like waiting for him to tell me this thing on the date and he finally told me at the end of the date and I could like breathe easy because I'm like I'm sure everybody can relate to that like when you just go a little too far yeah I would but by the way you're meeting up with strangers like I don't tend to go on online dates.

I almost every relationship I've ever been in is a friend of a friend of mine or a co-worker of a friend of mine. I don't feel the need to snoop on those people as much. There's more accountability. I'm not showing up to a place with a total stranger. And like everybody on earth has a story that like the guy was married. He had a kid. He didn't look like what he was.

He was way older. He was way heavier. Whatever it is. Like I think you were right to look into people. Yeah. Well, let me ask you this. Like what would you, if there was just somebody that you just kind of, you just casually new, either like friend of a friend of a friend or you met him out or something like that.

Like not a stranger from an app. Just like somebody that you sort of knew, would you stock a little before it? I'm probably not going on like LinkedIn or like the county website to like check their like history, like criminal history. But I'm always looking at somebody's Instagram because I just want to know like what do you think is funny. How do you dress? Do you have friends? Like we our friend's boyfriend has this Instagram and it's just like him with like luxury cars. And I'm like, this is not my kind of person. Yeah. You know, like this is a dude. bag. I, LinkedIn is just the go-to. And again, LinkedIn, it just shows me, sometimes it shows me a lot. Sometimes it shows me a little, not logged in. Like, I don't, I just don't log in. But I, sometimes I just, like, seen a guy's, like, resume can be, like, hot. You masturbate to LinkedIn pages? I have before.

I don't, I would. I mean, you're like, oh, 401-3. There is a guy in a years ago at Hangout Festival. He's, like, the one that got away. And his, his LinkedIn, I just, I, like, would screenshot and send it to friends. I was like, oh, he's so hot. What if guys, like, know this now? And they're just out here, like, beefing up their LinkedIn just to get a pussy. But honestly, LinkedIn tips. We asked you guys for, like, tips and tricks. You all mentioned LinkedIn. Two things.

First of all, if you must look from your name, that's fine. I think there's no shame in it. Like, if somebody's like, I can't believe you check this. It's like, yeah, absolutely I check this. But own it. I love that. Just make sure you own it. Yeah.

Don't try to hide it. Be like, yeah, of course I looked. You're a scary world out there. Yeah, I don't know you. So own it. But if you don't want them to know, create a fake LinkedIn. Or, like, I don't do this all the time, but I have a girlfriend that she works at a, you know, big company.

And it's like she recruits. So when I really want to look at somebody, I'll have her do it because she like recruits. It's not weird that she'd be looking. Yeah. Yeah. Because I don't even know my LinkedIn password. I've not been aware of a minute.

I don't know it either. It's probably just has my job from like 2014 or something. Oh, mine definitely does. Mine says like I work at Amazon or something. Yeah. Yeah. Let's just like while we're here, talk about Finstas.

Okay. Which if you don't know, it is a fake Instagram. account that you use for alternative purposes like stalking. I have a Finsta. Also, you know, somebody actually, it's not, it's not my tip. It's one of our listeners' tips, but I like this idea. So my Finsta has nothing on it.

I don't care. Like, I don't need to like create a fake profile. If you think that I'm stalking you, fine, you can't prove it. Yeah. But somebody said, dog fintas are like a really good idea. If you want to build out a fake fintz. If you wanted that out of Finsta, yes. I don't care.

Like I don't care if it's a no, you know, no avatar, no pose. I don't care if it looks like a straight up troll account. Like I'm not trolling. people and commenting. I'm just looking. I'm just looking. That's a good point. I'm not leaving comments. I don't care. I don't want to be known. And I'm also looking. A lot of it is it's not that people have blocked me and I need to get in there. It's more that I just am scared to always like something. Like I'll look at people that I could look out for my own account on my Finsta just for peace of mind that I'm not going to accidentally like something or whatever. I have like 15 people. I just,

I scroll through on the Finsta. And honestly, I've had time. And I've talked about this on the podcast. I've had times where I think it wasn't mentally healthy for me, like just out of a relationship where I was just consistently stalking somebody and their ex-girlfriend every single day. And honestly, I just, like, exed their names out and I stopped, like, I have to actively stop myself from doing it because it is so easy.

And, like, we've made it so easy to, like, stock people's information. And it's not healthy for me. So I've had to, you know, adjust my Finsta behavior. Yeah. But, yeah, fuck, yeah, use it. Yeah. And sometimes it's just, it's not even, like,

exes and it's just, I don't know what I'm, I'm just getting there and do weird stuff. I don't know. I love to look at the people and, like, spy on people. You know that I don't search anybody from our girls got to eat a cow. Because I'll see. Because I know that you'll see the weird issue that I do. Interesting.

Okay. Should we talk about some of the ways that people stock? Yeah. So we, I honestly didn't know that I was going to be so surprised by some of these. But, I mean, good for you guys. You're insane. Yeah. So we asked you what you guys do to check people out.

Overwhelmingly was Venmo. And I just want to be. clear that I have been Venmo stocking since 2014. I consider myself an OG when it comes to Venmo stalking. No one I knew was doing it back then. I was out here telling people because people weren't, people weren't going private. They didn't know.

Venmo was like everything was public. Everybody was posting everything they were doing. It freaked me out. I didn't like it. I made most of my transactions like private because I was like, this is weird. I mean, if I had a fun girls dinner, I would like leave that up.

up with like a little like, you know, martini emoji. But I felt like it was so personal, the exchanging of money. And Venmo creeped me out when it first happened. But I will tell you, the stuff that I would find out, like, about one of my exes, like, I found out so much of it on Venmo and nobody was hiding it. These guys did not catch on till like years to come. It was a hot take even to the beginning of this podcast three years ago to stock on Venmo. Okay.

We brought it up like then and I think people were like, whoa. Now, I mean, like, listen, guys, beginners level is like Finstas, Snapchat, maps, Zillow, Google, searches, LinkedIn. This is just, this is beginners level. Hold on a second. What? Zillow. I mean, I was going to ask you that. Have you ever looked up what somebody's house caused? Like, that's, like an ex-bott of Zillow. Yeah, absolutely. I know. I don't think that's like, I don't know how bad they're doing. I think it's so funny. Like, I, and I, I don't even know if I've done it. My friend, Corey did it. We were like talking about something that had bought a house and she found it on Zillow. And I was like, how does she have the time? She's out here with the family.

Property Records are public. Property Records are public. You can see exactly what something cost, who owns it, and if they're single or married. Okay. I didn't even know that was out there, but yeah, it says it and the thing. Okay, I'm just going to, like, rattle off a couple to you because these name me laughs so hard. Check the county's tax appraisal district to see what they paid for their house. That's not even like Zill. That's like another layer deeper.

The county's tax appraise. Oh, that's so crazy. Search their name plus registry to see if they have had a wedding or a baby. And I thought that was really smart because a registry will pop up. I found an old ex from college, like just, I'm just curious what he's up to. it's been a pandemic. I just go in these times when I just need to check up on people.

I'm so curious. I'm so nosy. And that was, I did, I found their registry. I found their baby registry. It's smart. It's,

anything that you can find from easy Google search. Yeah. Also easy Google search. Criminal records. 100% public. Any county website, just search it.

I've never done that, but I've never dated anybody with like a serious criminal record. So I've never like, I feel like once it happens to you once, you're probably like always going to do it. Yeah. that guy I was like considering

hooking up with in Nashville. Did we talk about this at the Christmas show? The holiday show. Yes. He was giving me a weird vibe and Rob ran a full background check like criminal history and stuff like that. We didn't find anything. Sometimes you got to though.

Yeah. Honestly, thank God for Rob. Okay. This I thought, this was actually like this blew my mind. Using a web browser, Instagram shows you in chronological order who they have followed. Okay.

You know what? While we're here, I want to confirm this. Okay. Also, by the way, like Ashley is such a detective. Like I wrote this list morning and Ashley checked the validity of all of these. Oh, man. That is so true.

Yeah, there it is. I think that is like the hottest tip. If you want to see like who your man's talking to, so we followed. The order is so important. My last follows are a dog rescue. This is so on brand. These are my last follows.

A dog rescue, vitamin string quartet. John Burger. And then this hot guy that one of you guys DM me about. And then Jessica Yellen. Oh my God. So, yeah, there we go. Right in order.

You just click following? Yeah, click following. This is like, I'm like kind of nervous. We gave this tip out because everybody's just going to go so hard. This one's for you. Looking up their political donation history on FEC.gov. Wow. And I think that like in this political climate, people want to know.

Yeah. I saw a lot of people said stock their families. Like people all caps, stock their mom, stock their dad. I will say a lot of parents. I will say a lot of parents, most parents, don't know what they're doing on social media. So they're public. They're posting all kinds of things. They're posting family vacations, weddings, all the things.

You can find a lot from family, you know, and friends picks. I will say this, again, not a hot take, but so much and so much that I have found is in those tagged picks. Don't sleep on the tag picks. Go straight there. Never. Go there first. That's how I found out the guy that I was dating like four years ago had a living girlfriend and he was in Brazil with her on vacation, having phone sex with me.

You better fucking believe. That's how I found out. My ex was not telling me that he was dating somebody new and like that we were still talking. He was still saying, I love you. Like it was, they had been dating for,

for months. And I just knew something. I knew we was. And again, this was not cheating. We were broken up. But like, whatever,

it was not good. I found this thing in the tagged picks. He wasn't in it. It was a photo. She had tagged, but she tagged him in it. I mean, listen,

I did show up to his house. I did roll. I did bust in the door. He deserved it. And made him tell me. He deserved it. He wasn't telling me. And another time I caught somebody, I saw a tagged pick.

And when I went back later, they had untagged it. I'm like, oh, well, thank you for just proving that that was suspicious. Here's a tip. Here's a tip for how to snoop that I've done. You can call places and pretend to be your man's secretary. And you are confirming information. I thought that my man, we'd had this fight. He went out.

He was a sociopath cheater. And I thought that he was doing some shady shit. And he told me he stayed in a hotel that night. And I was like, why would you stay at a hotel? We lived together. And he was like, it was a free to come on, whatever. I called the hotel and I pretended to be a assistant. And I said, I'm just confirming the bill.

I just want to make sure I see that there's two people on the room charge. Is that correct? And the woman was like, okay, I'm going to second. She looked it up. She was like, yes, two guests in this room, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I fucking knew. I caught him. I have always thought that hotels just act a little willy-nilly,

with the information they give out. I'm here for it, but like, there's not a lot of security. Like, you could be like, I'm going to go see my friend. Can I get a key? Like, you know what I mean? Like, you just kind of like, I just, I've been surprised at the lack of security with hotels sometimes. You're right, though.

The amount of times I go down to the desk and I'll say, like, I'll be like in my pajamas. I'm like clearly staying there. But I'll be like, I forgot like the key. Can you guys give it to me? And they're like, all right, next time you have to come with identification. Here's the thing. If you think your man is cheating on you in a hotel, show up in a pair of pajamas.

Walk out to the front desk and be like, I forgot my key. And I, oh, that's it. Just show up. And you're, listen, you're like a cute young girl. Who's going to say no to you? Yeah. I love that. I mean, it's crazy, but you're crazy, but I love it.

I will say, you know, we had a situation recently with a guy friend of ours and he was dating somebody and like, she found out that he was talking to somebody else in just like the most basic way that we all do as women. Like, it's comments. It's that you see this new girl in the comments. You see the guy you're dating comment on something. Like the stuff I found out just by like a hard eye emoji or even on Twitter, if they're active on Twitter. Like that was his story.

Like it's just we know. And we don't even have to try that hard. Like that's the thing too. I feel like so many times people try to gas let you and make you feel crazy because you stalk them. You're like, let me tell you that this took me five minutes. Okay. So I'm glad that you brought this up because, again, this person is a good friend of ours. But he said to me when this happened because somebody who was dating found out through Twitter.

he was like talking to some other girl. Yeah. And he was like, why do you girls all do this stuff? Like, what good does it do for you? Doesn't this make you feel crazy? And I'm like, why did you do it? Why are you doing this stuff? That's the crazy part.

Me figuring this out in 30 seconds. Like, he acted like this was so mind-blowing. And I was just like, I would look at who you followed recently. Who's commenting a lot? I'd go straight to their Twitter. It's a first stop. It takes five fucking minutes. This is not private.

We're not snooping in your personal information. This is public. You're doing this. I just happened to see it. I found it. Honestly, snooping like this is like the first train on the crazy train, okay? The first car. Yeah.

Like I am not, I'm not looking up your social security number. Yeah. You're just like blatantly out of doing this shit. It's just, it's, God, it's like, and I just like love to be right. And I've done this like when somebody I don't really care about. Like maybe a guy that I dated briefly and I'm still just looking at their Instagram and we're cool. You know, this wasn't like a heartbreak situation.

But I'm just kind of like, I'll see some girl comment. And I'd be like, I bet he's dating that girl. Sure enough, like a week or two later, it's like, they're together. I'm like, God, I fucking knew it. It's because we know how we are. That, it's just, it's innate. It's just innate. We feel it in our bones.

We see that emoji. We see that comment. We know there's something going on. And honestly, it's not hard. It takes one second. They try to act like we're crazy. But no, this comes naturally. It took one leap for one second.

Yeah. I also, I mean, again, like, we've, I'm going to reiterate this just over and over. Like, we do not recommend dating people to make you feel like this. and make you feel like you have to do stuff like this and gaslight you and make you feel nuts. And I've been in those situations. It's a long time ago. But yeah, don't be with people

that make you feel like you have to do this wild shit. Yeah. And that's kind of like there is a difference to like kind of finding out all this information before you out with somebody for the first time or you're newly dating. But like it is different when it's your partner. And you really should be in a relationship

that you don't feel like you need to be looking at everything your partner is doing on social media. It's really, it means that something is going on there. And that's something that you need to kind of figure out. And X's too. I mean, I think it's so expected that you're going to want to stock your ex and who they date next and just like really go hard. And, you know, I can stock any X of mine now and it affects me in zero way.

But I clearly, you know, after a hard breakup that I had with one of my exes, like, I could not look at his Instagram. I wasn't trying to. I was telling my friends not to tell me. I didn't want to know anything. It like hurt me too much. And that's just a matter of knowing how, it feels in your body and knowing what it's doing to you mentally and like having to

cut it off and you've spoken on this really well and you weren't stalking people you were so in love with. You just found yourself like kind of indulging too much and it wasn't making you feel good. And we've said this before. We actually talked about it in our very first live show. We talked about on the show too. You're like, you are, I can't hear about it's home. You're never going to find a thing that you like. You're never ever, Instagram and Facebook are the magazines of people's lives and people are only putting the great stuff on there. They're friends. They're partying. It's first of all, social media is fake. It's never in a of what's really going on in somebody's life.

And no one is posting the bad times. They're only posting the good stuff. So if you're stalking your ex continuously and you see them smiling, happy out with their friends and you're like, fuck him. He just likes to have fun and I'm at home being depressed. It's like, what are you looking for? You know, like I think it's mentally unhealthy. I mean, yeah, we all do it.

But like I like what you said, which is you can do it when you have some space and then you're just laughing at them and their shitty lives. Yeah. And then, but then too, you're like, okay, is this dominating too much of my time? Am I doing this every night before bed? like maybe I need to take a break. And I will say one thing I did, and I cannot remember if I've said this in the podcast. So I'm sure that I have, but I'll just say it here again today. An ex of mine, when he did move on and was with somebody new, it was pretty hard of me.

And this is years ago at this point. I wish them the best. But I said to Kate, I said, let me know if they break up or they get engaged. And that's just otherwise I'm not looking. I don't want to look. I'm getting over this person. I'm healing. I don't want to know anything. But I probably would want to know those things. And so it's kind of like I just kind of kind of assigned like a person to my best friend to tell me and that was that. And that's not for everybody. That was just, I wanted to know that and I wanted people to not be scared to tell me or something like that. You know what I mean? So I would have found out regardless. But like I just was like, I can't, I don't want to see these people social media. And for my own like mental health.

And that's what I recommend to other people. So, you know, we wanted to keep this episode kind of light and not really get into that, but it's always protect your mental health. And if you find yourself doing something like obsessively and you can't stop it, you should seek therapy. Yep. And stop it. I can't stress enough, like, how good I feel when I just don't do it. And after two days, I just forget about it. Like, I'm not constantly there. Like, when I go into my search, I X the person out of the search. So, like, it's not even in my brain to do it. And, like, it is amazing, like, the freedom you feel after a few days, just not doing it. You really, they will cease to exist. Yeah. And that's it. And, like, I'm always mad at myself when I,

like, regress a little bit. I'm drunk. And I, like, type of the name. But it's like, fine, we all regress a little bit. Just keep it. It's not healthy for you. Yeah. And, yeah, and it's kind of like, it's funny because we're sharing all these, like, crazy ways. you stalk, but like, it's just who, it's just depends on who it is and how that person still affects your life. Like, I just remember one night, I was like, I just have got to know what my, like, college and X that I dated for so many years afterwards is doing. I just got to know. I know we got married, but I was like, I just, I was curious. I hope, I watched, I want the best for him. So I just went so hard. I was looking on Facebook looking at the his friends that I still

remember their names. I finally found some, like, wedding photos. I finally found his wife. I finally found his baby. I finally found their registry. I just, I wanted to know. he's not on social media. No, I'm not laughing at you because of this. I found, I was trying to see this guy was married and I found his wife on Facebook and then I found the photographer who photographed their wedding and I found their wedding, their wedding

album from like 15 years ago. I looked at every photo. Of course you did. Of course I did. I found out that my ex, they went on Carnival Cruz for their honeymoon. Carnival Cruz. All right, listen, I take it back. You will find some things on social media that will make you feel good. That's one of them.

But all of it, like, all it actually made me feel good. I was happy for him. I'm so happy for him. I would be friends with them again in a heartbeat. And I was priding myself on my skills. I like to use my brain. I like to show all talented. I like to show myself how talented I am. Listen, I am so proud when you dig deep enough to find this stuff. We talked about us in the podcast. There was this guy. Listen, you're the male escort. All I had was a first name and some weird sentence that he said about something he did for living not the escort stuff. And I found out his whole life story. My girlfriend of ours did. Because she had those pieces of information. A first name, four letters, like one of the most

common names in the English language, and she found out everything. So, you know, I will say one of my favorite stories of us stalking together. We talked about this on a bonus episode. It was called Dodge That Bullet, I believe. And A, it was a guy that I had had a little thing with, nothing serious at all. We'd never even hooked up. But we kind of like this flirty relationship. And I decided I was like kind of done with it. And this girl was commenting. I was like, I bet that's the girl he's going to date next. And I just could feel it. And like, I just knew it. And sure enough, we started to like really go hard. I'm like watching them and like what was going on. And then we realized they took that trip together that he had invited me on first. No, I realized that she was

there because you sent me a photo of him from that like weird random beach. And she also had posted the same thing. Check geotags. Okay. Also don't sleep on the geotags. Good call. But then we like slowed down that video to see a teeny tiny corner of a like a woman's cover up on the chair because he wasn't posting her. Well, he was panning the space and just ended the video right there. I love a tag team effort also. It's just, it really wants to be right. It's my love language.

Like, I like to like have a hunch and then it be right. I hope she's doing a while. Oh my God. I know. Because we were like on her team. We were like stay. I know. Seriously, after we saw what he did to her.

Yeah. And then also through her Instagram, we got to see the entire breakup. I know. She was like journaling. She's okay. I hope you're doing well, sis. Okay, I will tell you if you are really trying to stalk someone, like you're, this is like, this is like deep state shit.

Okay. All right. Your man isn't like super active on social media, but he tells you what he's doing like tonight. Say he's in Greece at a club. Go to the geotag for that club and look at other people's photos and just see. Just look through every single one and see if your man's doing some shady fucking shit. Also, you can watch their story.

Yeah, you can watch the story from the location. I've done, yeah, I've definitely done this. Yeah? Okay. Yeah, like, I've just, for, not even for stock and a guy, I'm like, I, you can just find out a lot of information. Like, sometimes I'll look at a place's Instagram story just to see the vibe. What if you texted your boyfriend and you were like, who's that girl that's

sitting two tables over from you? The blonde one with the black top. He's like, I literally am at a restaurant. I don't know. Honestly, like, because I'm not like, there's nobody, listen, there's tons of stuff wrong with me, but nobody that I've ever dated would like categorize me as like, crazy. Or like they just wouldn't. Like I would do some shit like that because it's so funny. Like I would absolutely like do that as a joke. I'm the same way. I mean, I'm probably a little

crazier than you. We told the story in Caitlin Bristow's podcast where I was watching, I was like, I don't know, watching football with my ex or something. And I was like, can you just get me like some my favorite rosé? Because I'm like going to have to sit through this game. And I was like, I like whispered angel. And he came home. No whispering angel. Some other dumb rosé and was like, they didn't have it. And I was like, who didn't have it? He was like, the greens liquor store. I was like, you went to Greens? This conversation. He was like, yeah, I went to Greens.

I was like, all right. And I knew he didn't. I knew he just went to Kroger. And so I called Greens. The liquor store. I had to be right. I called the liquor store. I was like, do you guys have Whisper Angel?

I was going to come down there and grab some. And they were like, oh, yeah, we have a ton of it. And then when we were joking on Caitlin Bristow's podcast, she was so funny. She was like, we actually have a display set up today. And we have somebody in here doing samples of Whispy Angel. I was trying around. You told this. story. This is when I knew that like you were the craziest bitch. I loved it.

When did we talk about this? The third episode or just with Caitlin Bristow? Just on her podcast, I think. Maybe. I can't remember now, but it was so funny when we talked about with her because we were like joking at like the whole story. It was like Whispering Angel Day in the store. Like they had a whole N-CAP set up and like sampling. And he's like, no, they were out. I was like, I know you didn't go there. If you were wondering like the lengths that actually goes to be right. That's what it is. That's what it is. I'm proud of it. Honestly, if it's, if I can be right by a very quick phone call, you better believe that we're going to do it.

Right, that's the thing. Like, people, yeah, I'll deep dive if I have the time and it's whatever. Like, I talked about my old ex from college, but like other, usually it's like five minutes of my life. Like our guy friend that was like so mad about his ex doing that, we were like, I don't, this took 30 seconds. She wasn't just like contacting the FBI about you. Yeah, I didn't hire a PI.

You're a dumbass. You should have deleted that other girls' Instagram comments. Yeah. Idiot. Okay, you would one more that the listener submitted that you wanted to share. I don't want you to forget. Was it about AirPods? Oh, yeah.

So this really shook me. Leave your AirPods case in someone's car and then use the find my phone to find it. I'm confused. So, like, if you want to know where your man's going, if you don't, like, trust where your man is. Oh, my God. You track him with your AirPods. Yes. But listen, it's only for a limited time because that should dies, right?

So, like, you got to be sure that today is the day. No. People are not using their AirPods as a tracker. Oh my God. Also, I bet you like if, again, this is all in good fun. If you feel like you need to do that to like find where your man is, fuck this relationship, get out of it. Yeah.

And we talked so much about this, I think, on the microchene episode of just like, you know, this isn't, it shouldn't feel like this. Right. I still love to talk about it. It's so, I mean, it makes me laugh. It's lighthearted. I mean, we don't condone being in these relationships. Yeah, but again, you got to make sure today is the day because that shit'll die

in a day or two. I don't know. Mine lasts so long. I guess mine do too But like you know what I'm saying It's not a forever thing Yeah yeah You've got a couple day shelf life

On this on this hack But I also feel like since we've grown up There's so many tracking devices On cars these days That connect to apps You know like if you really want to know I mean I'm sure there's like a chip You can put in your man's car

See that's just some shit I would do Just to like feel like MacGiver Like I would just do it just to be like I'd just be like underneath the car Putting the tracker on there Just to feel the rush No I feel like your man would be like

I'm on my way home he would take 20 minutes as opposed to 15. You'd be like, where were you? Give me the route. And he would tell you and you'd be like, that's not the route you took to get home. I mean, I'm not like that crazy, but I've just,

I've caught guys I've dated and lies because I just know logistically they didn't make sense. I mean, that was my favorite part of the serial podcast was when they were mapping. Because it speaks to me so much. Like, I was like, that doesn't add up. Show me the cell phone records. I'm just kidding.

I would just show me which towered the cell phone thing done. I just remember an ex of mine. Like I was just like, this story doesn't add up. I'm not being crazy. I'm just smart and it doesn't add up. So where's the lie? The little white lies, they add up, you know? And I mean, take note. If it's little things, but there's just a bunch of them. Well, and all those, so the Rose thing is funny, but like, I would say that I had like an ex that I was, that made me pretty crazy. But when we were bad. So not when we were dating and we were in love. I never

would have done this shit. I didn't give a shit. If he told me something that didn't add up, I would have been like, whatever. I trust him. Like this was when we were on a break. quote unquote. This was when we didn't know, like it was when it was, I was crazy. Like I've, you know, we were not solid. We were not secure. We were on and off again. Like it was not healthy. So it's so apparent that I was doing these crazy things when I was in a very unhealthy on and off again relationship that I shouldn't have been in. You know, it was toxic at its core. So my actions reflected that. So yeah, when we were great or when any guy updated were great, I don't feel these urges. You know, like I'll do something funny here and there like whatever, but that shouldn't feel like that.

I mean, I think that like when men tell you like, this was crazy, I always take note of it. I just, it's on the whiteboard. You know, I'm just putting it up there. And I just think to myself, like, what did you do to her to make her behave? But most people don't wake up in the morning and start behaving like a crazy person, right?

And I don't think that everything is always a man's fault. I think that two people can be really toxic for each other, even though they're great people. But with somebody else, they wouldn't behave like this. But you two have gotten into this crazy cycle of toxicity where you're just encouraging the bad behavior between each other. But I do just, I take note when somebody says to me my ex was crazy. Because I just think to myself, like the average person is not quote unquote crazy.

What happened here? Yeah. And if some of the actions with my ex, if you were to say Ashley was crazy, I'd be like, yeah, but you were a liar. So what's worse? But that's what I mean. Like, I don't think that you in general are crazy. I think that you might have done things that were crazy.

But the two of you were in this cycle. Yeah. And you knew that. Yeah. So, yeah. Okay. I just want to say like one last thing about snooping. I mean, that's different.

we're talking invading privacy, looking at people's phones. I don't condone it. It's not a good idea. It's just, would you want it done to you? No. You wouldn't want somebody to be looking at your shit and snooping around and I don't know, following you in their car, whatever. But I feel like we've all had those moments.

And sometimes you do find the thing that you need to find. And it's, you know, you do find out that somebody has been cheating on you when you end the relationship, you know, or you find out something like, I don't know, they have a gambling problem like Lady Featherington and Bridgetton found out. But like, you know, sometimes you, it's, the only way. You know, I have a story about a girlfriend of mine. She was dating a man that was really a crazy sociopath. He was married. She was young. Now she feels like she would have seen the signs. And she met a private investigator randomly on a flight. He gave her information. She actually

ran, again, actually, I mean, invading privacy. I don't know. She drove by his house. She saw him come out of his house with his wife and kids. Like, she needed to find that out. He was lying to her. Like, I really don't condone Snooping and invading someone's privacy. And you should really assess the relationship if you feel the need to do that. And especially if it's chronic. You might want to seek therapy. But I think we've all had those moments. I think you're never going to find something you like. But again, there's plenty of people in this world that have been like, I snooped. I invaded their privacy. And I'm so glad I did because I found this thing that I never would have known. So, I mean, I'm just going to say that. There's two, I'm there's two different kinds.

There's the kind of person that like is just chronically going through their significant others. Social media, Facebook, email, text messages. I don't condone that. Like, I don't condone any of this. Because like you said, I don't want somebody to treat me like that. And I have guy friends that I flirt with. and you might read a one-off text and see something you don't like. That does not mean I'm sleeping with that person. So there's chronically doing that, and I do think you should get help if you have the inclination to do that. And, you know, that speaks to just, you know, your past relationships and confidence.

There are just situations where you're with somebody and you keep asking them a question and they won't answer it and you know that they're cheating on you. You just know beyond a doubt. And so, yeah, I've also had situations where I've gone through somebody stuff, but I was, I hate to be like, but I was right. So it was fine. But like, I knew beyond a doubt, like the guy who's the hotel I call. Like, yeah, I knew beyond a doubt he was cheating on me.

Like, he just, he gaslit me continuously. I felt terrible all the time. I was very young. Again, I probably wouldn't have let a relationship go on this long with somebody like that at this age. I was 23 years old with an older man. He made me feel like a crazy person. Yeah. So I did what I had to do.

You know, there's levels to this shit. Yeah. But, you know, obviously get out of a situation where you feel crazy all the time. There's boundaries. I love that you said, like, how do you want to be treated? If I watched into a room and somebody was like on my phone. Oh, my God. I mean, I feel like sick thinking about it.

Like, you have no right to touch this. And especially, like, you're also invading the privacy of other people. So, like, if I walked into a room and somebody who's reading a text message that I shared with you, I would feel really violated. I know. And I think that we've talked with this in multiple episodes. We don't need to hammer it home. But there's just so many things of how you can get a vibe for somebody and how trustworthy they are, how they are with their phone. Did they leave it out around you?

You know, like, we've talked about this in multiple episodes. Probably on the microchee an episode. But, you know, are they introducing you to people? All those things. Just, you know, how you feel, trust your gut, all that kind of stuff. And you probably, if you're in a good relationship, like it's solid, this person has nothing to hide and you just still can't help yourself. Like you should just talk to somebody. And that's said without judgment.

Like, we all have little things we don't like about ourselves. Like, it will not hurt you to go to therapy and figure out why that's where that's coming from because you really don't want to ruin a great relationship. Yeah. I had a girl one tell me the other day. Like Carrie, I think of the sex in the city. She was day and that guy. And she just, he was too perfect. And she was like, something's wrong.

And remember he walked in on her. Going through his stuff. Going through a stuff, smoking a cigarette. Like, he left her in his apartment because he was trustworthy. Like, that was kind of hard to watch. Like, she ruined a relationship because she couldn't get over her, like, big shit. Because big always, you know, kept her arm's length and stuff. And I think that that's a real thing. And I think that a lot of people suffer from anxiety. The tremendous crippling anxiety about getting cheated on. And we are going to do an episode about that, hopefully coming up with anxiety. But I have a good friend and she's been cheated on a lot. And she was expressing to me, she recently went through a breakup. And she was expressing to me that, Every time her man went out, she was like, every two hours, I just need them to call me. I need him to text me and call me. And I don't know that that's an appropriate thing to ask an adult. I don't know. I think in an adult relationship, you talk to the person about what their boundaries are. If you're significant others, like, you know what?

If that's what you need to feel good, then fine, I'll check in. But I think that if, like, that's your inclination with somebody who's never cheated on, you were done anything wrong. If you're like, you need to call me every two hours, then you need to do the work on yourself to figure out, like, why do I need this from somebody? because I think that the sins of the past relationships that you've been in should never be applied to the current partner. Because that's so unfair. And if I started dating somebody and their ex cheated on them, what does that have to do with me?

Right. Nothing. I know. Yeah. Always think of, like, you know, it's just a golden roll treat people how you want to be treated. I tell you something funny about snooping and how guy got me to not snoop through his apartment. That guy. Okay.

So, well, I'm going to tell you the story in them and ask you, you think. Because, like, you know, you get left in people's apartments all the time. and I honestly do not have the inclination to snoop. Mostly because I just think boy stuff is gross. And I don't want to like smell something that grosses me out or touch something. This guy left. He went to work. He was like, I was going to stay there for the afternoon or something.

And he was like, listen, I know you're going to go through my stuff. And he was like, there's a gun in the side table and also in the closet. Just be careful. I was like, I will not touch anything. Oh, my God. I can't be trusted with a gun. I don't want to go near guns. I've never owned a gun.

We're Jewish. We don't have guns. But I was like, this is the craziest surefire way to be like, surefire. Bang, bang. There's a gun on the side table and in the closet, just be careful. I was like, I won't be touching anything. Thank you.

Oh, my God. I'm not a big snooper. I just, I just don't care. I don't want to go through. What am I going to look through your underpants? I literally don't care. I want to see how you like organize the cups in your closet, your fridge. Well, two-shirt Trent.

I had to see if this naked. name tracked. I'm not telling the whole story, but if you know, you know. Yeah. Okay. Well, in conclusion to this stuff, just be healthy guys and do what you feel like is going to be the healthiest for you and your relationship. And that's it. Thank you for all your tips and tricks. And then to wrap up the episode, we asked you guys, okay, I just want to say, we put this slide up Friday night where we asked you guys if you had any crazy stocking stories, wild shit you found, snooping gone wrong. I was like it's Friday night. No one's going to submit. We got 100. of emails. Why, because people are out, partying? Yeah. Carty's at 10, bitch. You and I had plans.

We had a date night. So I was like, we're not going to get any. Nope. You guys delivered like you always do. So thank you. Okay. I'm just going to start with this one. I love. I love. I love just gave you the visual so strong. Plus, I love. So, okay. She says, when I saw your call for stalking stories, I couldn't help it write in. I had maybe the worst case of unrequited love. Unrequited. Unrequited. Unrequited love to ever exist for years with a guy a new for my hometown. In college, my girlfriends and I were back home for Christmas break. Oh, you get into some shit when you're like back home for a Christmas break. I've done some really shady stuff. Yes. And because you're like, then I'm going to go back to college and no it. Like, whatever. Okay. And got word that he had a new girlfriend. Obviously, we had to do some investigating for ourselves. We got in the car and drove by his house, which was a normal occurrence in high school. We turned off the lights in the car and had one of my girlfriends jump out and

check out the car parked in the driveway to see if we could tell if it was the new girl's car. We sat quietly while she peeked in the windows and did some investigating. Soon after, the front porch light turned on and he walked outside. My friend who was driving floored the gas pedal and drove as fast as she could. We were a block away before realizing we left our friend in his driveway. No. That's so much better. Just wait.

We did a loop around the neighborhood in full panic mode. When we drove back to his house, our friend was laying under the car. At the time, we thought we were sneaky, but I'm sure he knew it was us, and I still cringe every time I think about this. I've learned to stick to virtual stalking now. It's an old school stocking. Drive-byes.

Also, that's how you know somebody's a true friend. You know you would come back around. You would drive by and I would be in the house, in the window. It's just the way that played out because, you know, they all saw the light, come on. The friend who was like on the mission was like, shit. And then she heard the gas pedal and she heard them drive away. and she just crawled underneath the car.

I was like, you bitches better come back. Can you imagine like you're sitting under your ex's car at night? And you're just like, not her. She was the friend. Right, the friend. Yeah. But you're like, how did my life come to this? And I just like cannot, I'm dying, thinking about you and me.

We drive away. I got it. Obviously, I'm in the driver's seat. And then we just go, we forgot Merrill. I knew it was going to be Merrill. Also, listen, guys, of course, Merrill would get left. No, she's the friend you like make, like, she's, like, Merrill go out and check that car out. And she's like, wait, what? And we're like, just do it. And then we leave. Also, if you're going to stock somebody via

guys, you better borrow someone else's car. Yeah. Okay. Don't use your car. Okay. It's a crazy person that uses their own car. Yes, agreed. Okay. Let's do the next one. Next crazy-ass story. So four summers ago, I was dating this Wrangler at a local guest ranch. Long story. Long story short, he ended up getting bucked off his horse one day and messed up his shoulder, causing him to have to go home for surgery. Only after he begged me to let him move in with me. We'd only been dating a couple of months at this time. She says, said he'd get a job at Pizza Hut. I roll emoji.

Obviously, I said it probably wasn't a good idea due to only knowing him a few months. And thank God I did a few weeks to a month after he went home. He broke up with me but said if we were both single the next summer, when he came back to work for the ranch again. we'd give the relationship another try. Okay. A few months after this happened, I got curious what he was up to, so I Facebook searched him. I went to his page and there was what looked like it was a wedding picture as his profile. Got more curious, so I Googled his name.

The website The Not came up with the wedding page slash registry. This was a mere two to three months after we had been dating. Here's the kicker. All the time I was paying him $5,000 for a customized hand-built saddle that took a year to build. had to send him checks to his parents' house without my name on the envelope. Did I just pay for his wedding? She says,

all the while he was trying to win me back by saying he got an annulment after a month of being married. Thank God I found a new man in the wild as I realized this one was a gaslighting. Fuck boy. Girl, she paid for his wedding. She paid for his wedding.

Also, without, he was like, send these checks to my parents' house. Don't put your name on it. And she was just like, say no more fan. Oh my God, that good dick. Honestly, a wrangler dick. A wrangler. You know that guy's so manly.

I know. Okay. Also, I don't think he eats pussy. Okay. I just, I don't see it. That's probably fair. I don't see it for a wrangler. That is crazy. We got a lot of these of just finding out someone was married.

Yeah, I love the tip and I wouldn't have thought of it. But yeah, the knot is a great idea. Just look up wedding registries. This has never happened to me before. Has it happened to you? I was married. Oh, my God. I feel like this happens in New York a lot because it's so anonymous.

Yeah. No, I don't think so. Okay. Well, that bitch paid for his wedding. If somebody's asking you to send checks without a name on it to their home, Facebook stuff. And I just don't know. That might be a lot for a saddle.

I don't know. I don't know horse stuff. She's a horse girl. Okay. I don't know horse. Maybe. This one just really quick. I'm just going to read and breeze through it.

I cannot get over it. I stalked this guy I was talking to on Tinder and ended up on his dad's Instagram page. Later that night, I somehow managed to tag his dad in my Instagram post. Okay. That was just a little shorty. Guys, be careful when you're stocking. I feel like Raina, this one's really. going to like trigger you. So just trigger warning. Okay. My, my recent ex who I dated for the past

eight years has a new girlfriend, but you never know because he doesn't use social media often and all his most recent photos and Instagram are still of me. I saw a pick of him and a girl together on a friend of a friend's story. So I did some light investigative work. In his tagged photos was a pick of him kissing this girl whose profile is public. So obviously I creeped. Oh, and they're public. Oh my God. You're so lucky. The tagged photo of them together was like her fifth post down. So I'm zooming in. I'm screenshotting for friends. The whole nine. That's when my thumb accidentally. slipped over the heart button. I flipped out and quickly unliked the photo, but it was too late. At that point, the damage was done, right? So I said, fuck it and went into a deep dive. I'm down in

like March of 2015 when I get knocked off her page while I was on it. Instagram sent me a message saying you can no longer access this profile. I'm so horrifyingly embarrassed. So I had some friends checked to see if she blocked me or if she just went private after she got the notification that I liked her pick. Nope, she fully blocked me. Love that his new girl and I had some weirdly aggressive nonverbal communication. Listen, she definitely stalked me too. She just didn't get caught. Praying to God this never happens to you and pray for me that I never have to run into them together. X-O-X-O. P.S. Some of my friends were like, you should have left it and liked a ton of her photos and followed her as a power move. Psycho or a power move. I mean, this kind of happened to you.

You started watching stories. I forgot. I went through like 15 stories of this girl's. And I'm verified. It's like pretty obvious. I think this happens to all of us. There's like that great meme. It's like I saw my, you know, what's the meme? She's just like my ex, my new boyfriend's ex, like, liked a picture of, like, liked one of my photos from like a while back. Like, we've all been there, girl. Hope you're doing well or something like that. I got to tell you, I would never block a person. Like I would, first of all, if I'm the current girlfriend, what do I care?

You can spend all day all you want. I'll rent free in your head all day. I don't, block me. What? That is crazy. I know. You are welcome to look at how dope my life is with your leftover trash. I know.

It's crazy. Honestly, thanks for training and better for me. He's a better person because of you. Thanks. Okay. Well, those are our stories. We had so many, but those are just the ones that we decided to share. Thank you guys for sharing with us.

Yeah. I love this episode. It's so fun. I know. We're all stalkers. Listen. It's like a little bit fun. But be healthy.

But be healthy. Yes. Like, you know, exercise your FBI skills. Like you never know. You might one day want to like pursue a new career and you can have all this us training. You, I feel like that should be your career. if the podcast goes.

All right. Well, yeah, guys, thanks for submitting. Thanks for tuning in. You know where to get everything you need for us. Girls Got Eat Podcast.com. New merch coming tomorrow or today, whenever you're listening, Tuesday, the 26th. And our Valentine's virtual live show is February 11th.

It's going to be so incredible. Get tickets also at Girls Got Eat Podcast.com. And follow us on Instagram. Girls Gotta Eat Podcast. Raina. dot Greenberg, Ash Hess, Girls underscore Got Eat on Twitter and YouTube.com slash girls got to eat.

And we'll see you next week. All right, guys. Have a good week. Bye.