Girls Gotta Eat - Are We Done With Dating Apps? feat. Jared Freid

Episode Date: August 29, 2022

As the 10th anniversary of dating apps approaches, we're answering the question: What are we even doing here? We're joined once again by GGE fave, Jared Freid, to get inside the male mind when it comes to the apps (Why are guys on them? Why do they pen pal? How do you know if a guy only wants to fuck?), discuss the love and hate for them, and how to best approach the swiping experience. We're also reporting our audience poll results for how many people are actually on the apps and succeeding, and giving tips for how to get from app-to-date and best opening lines. And we recap why Ashley officially deleted Hinge and the dream guy Rayna met in the wild. Enjoy! Follow Jared on Instagram @JaredFreid and check out his podcasts U Up? and The JTrain Podcast. Follow us @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit our website for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Shop Vibes Only. Thank you to our partners this week: Helix: Get up to $200 off all mattress orders plus 2 free pillows at helixsleep.com/gge. Beis: Go to beistravel.com/gge to get 15% off your first purchase. NextEvo: Get 25% off your first order of $40 or more at nextevo.com with promo code GGE. HelloFresh: Go to hellofresh.com/gge16 and use code GGE16 for 16 free meals across 7 boxes + 3 free gifts. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I just think this is like so fun. This actually is a stranger who lives on your phone. So you can have as much fun with it as possible. It's not insulting. It's cute. It's light. There's a lot of people listening right now that are done with fun. There's another episode of Girls Gotta Eat.

Welcome back. Coming to you from Dewey Beach. In bed together. It's so rare that we're this close to each other. It's a king bed, relax. We're far away. We're all like cuddled up in bed. What if one day we recorded an episode just under the seat?

I've seen people do that. Well, yeah, we're recording from Dewey Beach looking out the window at the ocean. It's the bay. We don't want to. We got a fight about it. I don't worry about this. This was not an actual fight. It was like a real fight.

We didn't talk for a while. A while. Right now like 20 minutes. Not like days. Yeah, 20 minutes. So we, I was like, it's the ocean. You're like, it's the bay. And I was like, the ocean is the bay.

And you're like, it's not. And then the Uber driver, we were in an Uber. jumped in and started antagonizing and he was like, why are you saying, like, why are you being so aggressive? I was like, I'm not. And the Uber Darry was like, you kind of are. And I was like, I cannot believe that you were taking her side on this. And then we're walking through the airport. I'm like, are you happy? Are you proud of yourself?

I was like, just chill about it. I was like, well, it's a bay. Well, okay, so we put the fight to rest in the car with the Uber driver and then we get out of the car and you go, just to let you know it's the bay. I was like, I'm going to fucking kill her. we have these fights and

I think we'd been together for a long time I mean I think it's we don't have sisters but I think it's like how sisters are sometimes This is how I think of it always In the moment I'm like I'm gonna kill her And then an hour later I'm like this is exactly how Like real sisters fight It is I mean again can't speak on it

I'm not trying to appropriate sister culture But I think it's kind of like Sometimes it happens like in a group And I think people are like Oh my God they're about to fight And then it's like overdone It's like snip snips, snap I do think, I'll be talking, I'm like, it's like a sister thing.

When you hopped out of the car and you're like, it's a bay, I was like, I'm going to kill her. And I just grabbed my suitcase and ran in. And then I gave that Uber driver one star. They were like, why, and I'm taking Ashley's side. They were like, why? You're like, well, my friend and I got in a fight and he took her side. That's so funny. He took an extra lap around the airport just so you could listen to us, fight more.

We have a hot episode for you guys today with the Lord Jared Fried. But I just want to say you guys were so excited about last week's episode about not being treated like shit by fuck boys putting your foot down. I hope a lot of you broke up with the fuck boys in your life. Yeah. Or just stop being upset about like a ghosting situation. It seemed to me like we were getting really incredible messages about thank you for reframing this. The messages I saw the most were like this just happened to me. So I don't know that a lot of breaking up happened, but probably a lot of like I don't need this in my life happened.

But we did do an episode where we caused a lot of breakups. And we were glad to see it. Yeah, we were thrilled to see it. We just want you guys have a good life. Yeah. And we'll be treated well and have a great life. And so we want you to, you know, live that life. All right, we're in Dewey Beach.

We've been here for a couple days. It's our annual trip. We have some newbies on this trip this year. We did. We brought Merrill. She's an OG. Well, she's a... One G.

One G. What is the word I'm looking for? She's a repeat gas. Repeat cuss. Repeat. She's returning... She's returning guest. She's a series regular.

Okay. And then we brought Jackie and Emily Fedner, who's the first time in Dewey. So we had this, we rented this great condo on the bay. And it's just been great. We've done all the things. Like truly, we've done, I had an itinerary, of course, loose, but we still have adhered to it pretty much. And really have done everything. Like all the meals, we did the jam.

We have to have been to the starboard. We did brunch. We've done the beach. We have done the sunset. We're at Starboard twice yesterday. Jackie was like, how many times do you come to this bar? And I was like, twice a day. That's what you do here.

What do you mean? This is crazy question. I will say Starboard, the Friday night was a girl's got eaten great. And I just loved it because I will say that this is just, I mean, this is my home. So it's like the people here feel like home. They all know my brother. And so it's just so nice. Like people are like, does this bother you?

Does it annoy you? It very rarely is too much. It's if someone just isn't picking up that they should let us be. but it's rare. We take pictures and I'm happy to do it and it's just been everywhere we've been and we've just met so many of you guys.

So we love it and thanks for coming and saying hi and don't worry that you're like bothering us, unless you're bothering us, which case, just feel a vibe. But it's really rare. For the most far it's great. It's just really such a pleasure to meet you guys and we love when you come say hello

and you go us an hour and a half of your time every week. So we're happy to take a photo and say a lot. Yeah, I don't understand. I just don't. Like people ask a lot. Like do you, does this annoy you? it's like it would annoy me if I was in the middle of a deep conversation or if I was sitting down at dinner or was, you know, but we get to do what we get to do because of you guys.

So yeah. I don't see a world in which it's like, don't bother me. Yeah, thanks for saying hi. Always. I'm beat up, man. I'm swollen. Oh, I'm bloated. I got mosquito bites.

I am so sore. I did a 20 minute hit Tabata class yesterday, like just in the gym here and just, did a lot of stuff I haven't done in a minute. 20 minutes. I can fuck you up. You're on a butt journey. Well, I am, am I announcing this?

You announced your hydration journey. Oh yeah, okay. I am trying to work on my butt. It's not great. You guys are tips? Well, I'm going to work with Bobby. So I'm going to work with Bobby. Don't send her tips.

It's not that I'm doing much. I mean, I definitely have potential back there. Like, it's, it's gone through waves. I mean, when I used to do this class in Atlanta called Fast Witch, I would do lower body on Monday if they still have it. And I had a great butt. I just, I don't do, I don't focus on it.

So once I just really put some work into it, I think it's going to be great. It's going to be over for all you bitches. It's going to be over for you bitches. Bobby was like, you're going to be barely squeezing through doorways by Christmas. Oh, wow. Okay. All right. I like that we have a measurable goal.

Christmas? Size and date. Yeah. But I did do like some bite yesterday and I'm like sore. My back hurts. I can't even breathe heavy. Those hit workouts. They are really hard.

You can work out every day like on a bite. And if you do a hit workout for 16 minutes, it's rough on your body. I know. I got two more workouts before I get the breast reduction. I'm very excited. One tomorrow, one the next day. We're recording this on Monday. So a couple days before my breast reduction.

So I wanted to say something that I was reminded of. So it's Bachelor Monday. I had mentioned Zach. Yeah. Who is on the show. And he's like doing well. Like they like are in love. And I forgot.

We just said like we met him in Cancun and like he DM me. I forgot how we met him and how he like opened the DM. A friend asked me what did he DM you? Like if she heard the episode. I don't remember at all. And I was like, oh, I forget. So I go back into look. And so then it reminded me that we did fuck Mary Kill with him.

He came up when we did. We did fuck Mary Kill. He like pulled my hair and choked me. He did. He did. And then he was the fuck. We said like fuck Mary Kill. And he was who we said fuck.

He's super hot. Oh, yeah. So I guess Rachel's going to pick Mary. Gabby is going to kill. Yeah. But when he opened the DM, he was like, hey, I don't think this is fine to say. He's like, hey, it's fuck from the pool. Remember?

Yeah. It all came back to me that like we have like, I mean, this is just something we've done at shows before. We'll bring guys up and do a little, you know, whatever. Somebody's a little, we'll play, choke, you know, whatever. And yeah, he was like sexy. And we were like, definitely fuck. And then I did, remember the one guy, I'm now, it's all coming back to me, the guy I chose

to marry, that Indian guy who was so hot, he was so sweet. Like all, that was a blur. Yeah. Were we drinking a lot during that show? Not a lot. I mean, we just kind of leaned in. We were like drinking Don Julio. But I wasn't that we were drunk.

I just was like a blur. And I kind of, we've done so many shows since. I mean, I truly can't remember some of the things. They all kind of run together. But it reminded me. Yeah. He opened in like a cute way. He wasn't like, hey, let's fuck.

he was like, hey, it's fuck. Yeah. And so it was, I was reminded. So I was like, I chose fuck and Rachel, she might marry. That is so funny. Yeah. So that was my Bachelor update on Bachelor Monday. We're talking about other ways to meet guys this week.

We're talking about the apps today. I'll get into it in the episode and telling Jared, running some stuff by Jared, but I am completely off of hinge. I mean, that was the only one I had been using with Raya and I'm only doing Raya. And I am having luck, like just as an update. I mean, there's this one guy that I do. just really, I don't know, I kind of like picked him. I was like, I just feel like that's a good match for me. Like he lives in L.A. He's age appropriate. He's a cool job. And so we've like

been talking and like making plans to meet up when I'm there, which is we're going to be there a couple weeks. So I haven't met anyone. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, to me, and it does feel like people are a little bit more intentional. And it's people that travel a lot. So I don't even really gravitate towards the guys in New York. So like I matched with this guy that happened to be in London when we were there. And it didn't work out. And I hate saying this because I'm embarrassed that I couldn't make it work, but he, like, invited me to Wimbledon. He was like, I have a ticket with your name on it. We were fucked up that morning.

I mean, we had flown in an overnight flight. I couldn't get there in time. I met this guy last night. I've met him before, but we matched Enriah. I'm not going to tell the whole story, but we ended up hanging out last night in Dewey. So I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying my experience. That's so far, so good.

I have dates, hopefully that I can report to you guys at some point when I'm actually in the same city as these guys. But that's the only one I'm doing, and I have no interest in the others. And I don't think that I'll redownload them again. I just, I wasn't, I hadn't gone in a date from Hinge in years probably. Like, I'm out. And I explained some things that happened that made me really just like pull the trigger on that.

But clearly people are still in the apps. We don't want to hate on them. They're a way to meet people. People do have successful relationships from them. But like the overall consensus and we'll get into it. Is that like people don't, it's not the preferred way to date, which makes sense. Yeah. I mean, it's a means to an end and I do believe in it.

If you're going to complain about being single all the time, I think you should do something about it. Just like I wouldn't stay in a job or relationship. I hate it. I wouldn't stay in any situation I don't like without. trying to address it. It's not my preferred method, but I talked about on the episode a little bit, but I do have the luxury being able to be a little more social than some people and travel and meet people. So it's not for me. I've gone on two updates in my entire life. I'm probably never going to

do it. But I met somebody the other night and I just want to give a tip because you did this thing and it was so funny and you guys, feel free to steal this. This is hysterical. Hold on. Rana. Can we start from the beginning? I want to tell this story. Ashley's a fair story. No, I want us to tell it. I would you to start from, like, this guy walked up. we're eating out of place, Lola Taverna in Soho, whatever. I see him checking at the host of stand. We're eating outside, inside outside, best table in the restaurant. And he, that I demanded to sit up.

Go to dinner with Ashley. Don't do anything. You got to take care of it. And he walked up to check in and I was like, that's Raina's perfect man. Like literally, I don't even, he's like a mix of every guy you've dated, but I found him attractive. He was so hot. He was, I was like, Raina.

Oh my God. I was like, what is even going to, I'm thinking to myself, what's even going to happen when she looks over there. He was tall, dark, bald, thick black beard, so hot. It's nice body, good height. He just, ooh. Balenciaga shirt. Yes, he looks like a bouncer, but he's wearing a Balenciaga T-shirt.

So he looked like my type, but he could afford a Balenciaga T-shirt. It turns out he got in, it was a knockoff. He got on Canal Street. He got from one of the performers at the venue, he bounces. And then he sat down and you were like, what should I do to get his attention? Yeah, we were with Rob, who, of course, I was like, send them a bottle of wine. We were like, okay, it's like, it's enough.

It was three people. It was a lot of alcohol to send it. We were three people. But the server was like, what do you guys want to do? We had this like cute, I was a manager, I think. He just liked our table. We were talking about the sex toys and everything. And we had just eaten these cookies that are incredible.

They don't really, they have like no desserts there except these insane cookies. They're so moist. That's the word. I keep calling them wet, but I was like, I said, send him one cookie. You guys, this is so funny. One cookie. We watch. On a plate.

We watch. action manager walk over to this table. Guys, they don't even have drinks yet. And they dropped off one cookie for that guy. And the guy was like, tell her to come over. And I can see them like laughing from across the room. It just was so funny. By the way, you know what I was thinking?

Because his two friends did not drink. It's not presumptuous that somebody drinks. I know that most people drink, but like I like the idea that like it's not presumptuous to somebody's drinks. And it's this like very funny like one cookie. It's not for everybody. It's clearly for one person. Yeah.

I didn't send over a plate of cookies. No. But here's the thing. His response, which he reported to the manager, it's like he could have been like, tell her thank you, and that's it. He doesn't want it. He's got a girlfriend, whatever reason. Or what he did, he said, was have her come over and share this cookie.

So Randall walked in. Randall looked so cute. This is like your best look. Yeah. You like strutted over there. I was like, she gone. She got. Like Rob and I were like, that's it.

It was a linen romper from Reformation. It was very cute, little puppy sleeves. And, yeah, I sat there with all of his friends. It was so confident, I, like, blacked out. I don't remember any of their names. There was all, there's three of them. I don't remember any of their names. I, like, was, I just blacked out from the confidence.

It's not really like me to saunter across the restaurant with a glass of wine. You're pretty bold. Like, it's fun to watch, you guys. It's, like, a real treat when Raina, like, does a thing. And you just get to watch. Like, it's so fun to watch somebody do something like that. I was like, yes. That's, like, entertainment of me.

I'm like, this is amazing. She's going over. over there? That's so funny. Like, even if you're married, you can participate in this by making your friends do it. Yeah. It just was really fun and he asked me if I wanted to go get a drink after that, but we were leaving and they just sat down. So I laughed. He asked me for my number and we exchanged text messages and I'll let you guys know. But it was a really adorable, funny way to meet a guy at a restaurant. It's nice. And it's all, all you're saying is I, you would already been probably I fucking him. You were. Like, I think you're before he sat down, like from the host at

the host of stand. It's like, I, all you're. I, you're like, I, you're at the host of I think you're attractive. I'm going to shoot my shot. And it's so easy for him to be like, tell her, thank you so much. And then like, that's it. And you wouldn't have gone over there. You would have been like, okay, well, I tried. It's actually like the in between of meeting somebody at a bar and meeting somebody on a dating app because it's like there's some anonymity.

Like, you know, if you do it towards the end of the meal too, it's just like, I can just get up and leave. It's like it never happened. It doesn't work out well. The only thing, I guess, I don't want. If someone sends me over something, a guy and thinks that that that means that I owe him my time, I don't. And so you don't have to do that either. Yeah. You know, but he obviously wanted some of your time.

He's so hot. He wanted to show me. Did you say, what did you say when you walked over? Did you say something about the cookie? He sliced it in half and asked me to share the cookie with him. Did you do it? Yeah, I did. And then the waiter can't.

They put it on the bill. Just want to let you know. Probably did that. I hope they did. For our bill, we had to pay for his cookies. I mean, I get it. Somebody didn't pay for it. But it was funny because I like scan the bill.

You know me. I just got to see if it's, it was a lot. So I was like, is this accurate? Uh-huh. We did a lot. We did too much. That would be so funny if you put it on their bill. He did like a baller move, which I thought was so sexy.

The waiter came over. Like, what would you guys like to drink? And the guy looked at me and was like, what are you drinking? I told him and he was like, great, let's have that. And I was like, yes. So hot to me. That is so sexy. Whatever she's having.

Whatever she's having. Let's do that. I was like, oh, my gosh. So anyways, feel free to steal Ashes cookie trick. It was very funny. Okay. Okay. A couple things.

Just a couple quick things. No episode next week. You guys were taking the week off for Labor Day. So get it in now. And then big update. Vibes only is on Android. It's here, guys. People have been begging for the Android version.

We've told you why it's taken so long and it is here. So get in there wherever you get Android apps. Is it Google Play? Android store. Sorry, the budget arose Android. Is it Google Play? It's something. Sure.

Well, you guys know. We don't need to do you. Do you have Android? Do you have Android? She figured out. So yeah, get in there. Enjoy the content. Of course, you can shop vibes only.

Raina, the Raina sold out again. Get on the waiting list. We are getting more in. New stuff's coming. New app updates are coming. Great stories in there now. So many of you guys are getting on this and loving it and telling us your masturbation stories and what you're listening to and what you're liking and how

you're getting off. And we're just loving it. So now Android users can get it on the fun. Yes. Get on it. Get off. Do all the things. Enjoy, guys.

Okay, guys, I am so excited to intro our guests today. I'm going to try to do this about reading it from the paper. He is the host of the J-Train podcast, Luxury Lounge. You Up, his TED Talk, who should pay on a first date is out. He live screams The Bachelor every Monday night. He is the most recurringest guest in the history of Girls Getting a Podcasts. He showed up in Jagging Jorts today. Love it.

Please welcome back to the show, Jared Freed. Great to be here. Great to be here. Jorts. and all. A soul is right at your feet. Zool knew exactly where to sit. Because you said he smelled like a wet dog and he was like, let me get right next to you.

Let me make sure he can't breathe the whole taping. Zul came in all happy from the salon. You called him a she, so you misgendered him. And then you said he smells bad. It was a smell. There was a smell. I don't think they dried him fully. There's something off, right?

He wasn't even there an hour. Like, there's no way he's drying. What if I walked into a room and somebody was like, that guy smells bad. That's when you called him a girl. Someone stinks. Yeah.

No, that woman smells. That man just got done at the salon, you asshole. Yeah. Jared, you do 300 things.

I also forgot you're the Lord of the Board. Did I forget anything else? Excuse me. It's the Lord of the Lord. You're a New York City comedian. You're always on tour. Do you do anything else? I have no other time.

Yeah. I don't even know. We were talking about a date. I don't even know how you make the time. I'm trying to work out my schedule in a better fashion to live a life. Yeah. But it's, you know, I'm trying to pull back. You know, there's less bored, time for lording.

Uh-huh. You know? Yeah, I don't think I've seen much lording. I'm really, yeah. He took himself on a romantic vacation to the South of France. I haven't seen, like, judging. Oh, are you seeing something like that? Well, sometimes I, the boards have to come to me.

Yeah. And then I look at it and I go, is there something to talk about? Yeah. Is there something to Lord over? Do you feel like a slave to the boards? Like, are you kind of over it? Well, I'm not over it. If there's something interesting to talk about, like I don't do points.

I think the points are stupid. That's not my thing. I like to judge someone their literal character based. You're right. I like to judge them as a person based on the board they put out for their friends. Like you have your friend, Emily. Okay, I'm glad you brought this up. Emily puts out a board and she put out tinned

fish on the board. Nobody wants tin fish. That was to tell the group. She wanted to tell a story. She wanted everyone to be impressed with her tin fish knowledge. And so she put it on the board and she knew at a point, what's this? And she gets, grandma traveled here from Old Mother Russia.

And everyone gets to go, oh, we love, oh my God, you love your grandma. So it's just the truth. She was upset that she tagged you on a board the other day. She texted. me about it. She put you in a board the other day and you just liked it. That's the most, that's the most insulting review of them all when you have nothing to say. No response. We always say no response to the response. Indifference. Indifference. Yeah, right. Yeah. Your board wasn't even worth talking about it. Your board wasn't even worth an insult. Right. Yeah. It had no personality. That is so funny that someone's like, roast me and you're like, I got nothing. Nothing.

That is the worst insult. It's not good. It's not memorable. I went to your party. I looked at it. I said, what else? What else you got? And the thing is, here's the reason I get so passionate about charcutory boards is because that is the first thing. You go to a party.

When you go to a party, when you go to someone's house, they're going to put out food, you go, oh, I'm not eating lunch. There's going to be food at the party. Right. So you walk in famished. You walk in ready to go.

And the first thing they put out is the charcutor. And that is an insult. If it's about them and not about, making you full, making you feel better, then they have done you a disservice. They're not your friend. It's about them. And that's what I like talking about with the boards.

And again, I think Emily is very nice. I think her food stuff is great. I'm a huge fan. Yeah. But listen, I saw, when I saw the sardines, I'm like, sardines are like offensive. Like, sardines, because you either love them or you hate them. There's no much work.

It's too like picking around the bones. But not too much, not too much work. It's just that people like hate. Right. Right, right, right, right. They're polarizing. Of the, the little pin bones that I hate them. I don't even know this.

Pin bones? Yeah, because you would never even go into one of those pins. Also, I've made everybody a charcuttero. When Dewey board, when Dewey died, I made Ashley a charcutory board. I don't care if it's a narcissistic trait to prepare one. I want to walk in and have a charcutory board anywhere I go. Sure. But I'm saying when you go to the board and you see something on there taking up space, it's a finite

amount of space. Yeah, for sure. So they've chosen to fashion out. Literally, she's going, I like sardines and let's see who's with me and let's see who's against me with a percentage. There's there's a bell.

There's a pie chart. She has taken a little slice and said, this slice, we're going to see who's with me and who's against me. Well, I would say the Lord is back. This is the thing. It takes. We have resurrected him. It is so, it takes very little to get me going on this.

And that's the thing. So does the board lord go away? No, it just gets on earth, right? You bring them out. I love that energy. I went to the south of Fron and I became, you know, I was judging things there. I go and judge everywhere. It was 95 slides a day with you and the phone two inches from your face yelling about stuff.

And I was along for every single slide. Thank you. I want to pitch a TV show where I go to places that influencers have been to and told you how great they are. And I want to like tell you the real story because like I'm in, I'm in Cannes. and I'm like, I'll have the radishes because I'm a little hungry. And they bring out a bushel of radish and I'm like, this is fucking insane.

And then everyone's like, you gotta put the salt on the radishes. It's like, no, no, Kathy in Pennsylvania. You're not, you don't like radishes with a little bit of butter. You like Doritos. You like Doritos. Don't, because what I realize is like, because I'm a straight dude going to the south of Fromm.

And the response was the surprising part because I have a female follow. You, we share a follow. We do. We do. And I was getting response from the women that follow us. And a lot of them, most of them laughs, fun, awesome. But there was this kind of section of like, like, I was the dad embarrassing them in front.

Like I was like being too American. I was being too much. I was being, you know, and I was like, and you could tell like I was ruining this romanticized version of, of CAN, of Central Pae that they had. And I'm going, these radishes are fucking crazy. You know, this is not how someone eats food. You know,

so. I love this show idea. There's one of my favorite Instagrams of like reality versus Instagram is in Bali, there's that swing. Right. And it's the most beautiful photo you've ever seen. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Yeah, yeah. But if you spin the camera around, there's hundreds of people in mine. I love that. Like a friend did that in Greece where we were at the sunset in Mekanos and like showing, you got to kind of put your camera above everyone's head to, even look like you're there alone. And I love when people actually show the reality. Right. And it's just like a mob scene. The line waiting to take a picture down the steps in

Santorini. Like that's a great line. And there are things people and they, you can tell, people just want to say that, be the person who told you the thing. So like they just want to let and you can tell when they're like really, oh, look at me by I'm giving, because you know, because you guys, when we travel the country, people give you suggestions. And you can always tell when the suggestions about them looking like the person who gave you the suggestion rather than a good suggestion. So I'm in

Nice and every woman go to Eze. You gotta go to EZ. You gotta go to EZ. It's a little town on top of a mountain and its time has forgotten EZ and you're gonna love EZ. Ez was the

Hillstone Restaurant of Neese. If you live in New York, every woman in her late 20s, early 30s, is going to tell you, you know what's great, Hillstone, as if you, oh my God, yeah, I've been to a Houston's. I know, okay? That is the perfect explanation.

I was trying to think, because in Pasatano, every person said to like, you've got to go to this place. It's the greatest thing you're ever going to see. It's so special. Everybody recommended the same three places. Right. Nothing else.

And it's, it's this Hillstone thing where it's like, I am in the know. I get it. Every woman, I love Hillstone. They have to let you know. Yeah. So this was, as was the Hillstone.

stone of knees and I'm going and I get to as and I literally and I get there you take a train so I was like I'll go I'll see what these people are talking about I get there the train is gets there and there's a sign that's just like just an arrow that says as it has sneakers and I'm like I guess I'm I should wear sneaker I climb this mountain I was like how do these hillstone chicks do this like I can't believe I almost I was like this is the hardest climb I've ever done I got to the top I'm like drenched in sweat I'm like, I don't understand how these, like, what are they, it's a nice view, but I'm like, this is the middle of August. I am going to like, dying. I didn't bring any water. I get to the top and I'm like, okay, I made it. And like, all these women were like, you didn't take the bus? Oh, no.

Oh, we took the bus to as. I'm like, I just did this. I just summited. So we, the similar thing in Greece, everyone, we had a great trip. We did a lot of really amazing things. Everyone talks about this beach club Namos. Okay. Rain and I get there.

We're like, what? I have never seen chairs closer together on the beach. A tourist trap of a place. It was, and listen, like, it's still nice and compared to, like, anything in your desk. Anything in a mayor. Yes, thank you. Sure. There were so many better places.

Like, we couldn't believe it. Like, I couldn't get over it. I couldn't believe that this is, like, the place that just everyone says when we went to three of their places that were a million times better. Right. And we were like, how is this? It becomes a thing where it's like, I just want to be someone who says something. I want to have an opinion and I want my opinion to be correct, you know, like, because it is correct. They sent you to a beach club in Mekino. They sent you a beach club in Greece.

Like that's like, what's better than that? Like I came back and I'm like, I went alone. I took an alone trip to the South of France. And I am sitting there and I was lonely. Like I'm like single and you do have this thought of like, I'm going to go to Europe and I'm going to have my eat prey love. Like I'm going to go and I'll talk to some French women. I'll eat some radishes. I'll put some salt on it. I'll go to as. What I realized very quickly is like it was tough for me because first of all, you're just there alone thinking.

And you're thinking of your life and you're thinking of like, how did I end up here? I'm 37. How did I end up here alone? Like you start thinking of past relationships. You start thinking of like where is the, uh, the, the decisions you made for the job you wanted, the career, and you go, and then you start looking on Instagram and it's in the morning and everyone at home is sleeping. So it's like, there's no movement on Instagram. Like the water's still. And you start looking at past

exes and you're like, what happened there? And you do this and you go and then, you know, you and then you're like, Jared, go to a bar, go meet someone. And then you realize, E. Pray, Love isn't written about a straight man for a reason. No one's looking to meet this mysterious American in his Boston Red Sox jersey across the bar. Like that, you know, and then all these women were like, I went away and I met men. And it's like, yeah, men want to fuck women. You went to the most growniest place in the world. I mean, it's crazy.

It's like me going to Paso Tano by myself. Right. And I had the, I was on a boat and they're like, we're going to take you to this beautiful little fishing village. It's really remote. You know, not a lot of people go there. I'm like thrilled. I'm so excited to like discover this thing that no one's ever discovered.

I jump off the boat. I'm all wet. I have this bathing suit on, these jeans shorts and sneakers. I look wet and no makeup on. And they drive me up to this like little fishing village. Why am I sitting next to Emily Radikowski's ex-husband? Kendall Jenner was there the week before.

Really? Everybody is dressed to the nines. There's like 10 hotel rooms there. They're all thousands of dollars a night. And I am by myself in this place. It was like the Tao of Positat in the middle of nowhere on this island. And you start wondering like, what am I going to do here? Like how did I get here?

What am I going to? Who am I going to speak to? I spoke to one woman. I don't do it. That's why I don't do it. You do just go away? I don't like solo. You can't do it. I wouldn't suggest it.

I have respect for people to do it. And I can do a day. I love a solo. Like I was in Portugal. I did a day alone. I can enjoy it. I can read on the beach. And I can have a nice breakfast alone.

But I don't want to go to dinner alone. And I don't want to take a trip alone. You show up to dinner and they go table for two and you go, it's just one. They're like, what? What? Like they get awkward. In niece. Yeah.

I spoke to one woman while I was there. I was in San Troupe and I go, and I'm like, Jared, you got to speak to one woman. You got to speak to a woman. And it was these three women that were across the pool. And I look at them, I go, and I could sit there chichat. And I go, where are you guys from? Like, I'm like the most American ever. I go, where are you guys from?

And in perfect English, she goes, we don't speak English. No. If I could say I don't speak French in perfect French, that's enough for me to try and fuck. Like that's like right like that's like the idea that like we don't she literally and I go what she goes we don't speak English. She's like okay she understood what. That is the it was hilarious. I enjoyed myself for like I got to reflect. I got to think you know you have moments.

You're like you know and we're going to talk about dating like you go why didn't I go through with life? Why am why did I take a stop at certain places with certain people? why did I, you know, do I want to be on dating apps? Do I want to be, what am I looking for? It is a nice way to escape that. But I could have done this trip in Boka. Like, I could have gone to Boka. There's better places to go alone.

You're right. Well, especially, but like I said to the person, I was like, I want to go to the beach. And I don't want that museum shit is like what I said. And I go. And I told that to a friend that like, you could have gone to Daytona. Like, what the fuck? I don't want that museum shit. You know, like what's wrong with you.

I know you mean. No, you don't want to like life lesson learned. Okay. Let's talk about it. Okay. This is a perfect segue. So you are a dating expert? Let's not do that.

I have an opinion on dating. I am the center part of. I'm an average guy. I'm an average dude. I'm the center part of the bell curve. I have been through these things and I am in a position where I, on a podcast, I can be completely honest of how I felt. And in the way I'm being vulnerable right now telling you a story about a woman who clearly

didn't want to fuck me in France, I will be the same way with dating stuff. And that's kind of what I do. and I'm open and I try to do it in an edible way. I don't think a lot of people's boyfriends can say the things in the ways that I can say them. I think I'm pretty good at translating these things and talking about them and in a way that's not negative or dismissive of someone else's feeling. And I've been talking about this stuff for over a decade. You know, so I've been, you know, around this thing.

You do a great job giving quote unquote tough love without sounding like a total condescending dick. You seem like you do care. Like that's why you take the time to go through your DMs and answer people's questions. So 10 years of daynaps, this is this month. Tinder was the original. So we've been doing this for 10 years.

Like we've been doing this for a decade. Of swiping apps, by the way. Of swiping. Website. Sorry, not like Match.com. And OKCupid, which I was certainly a part of. In September, 10 years of swiping apps. So 10 years of swiping. And just we wanted to hear your brief overview

of like, do you remember getting on Tinder? Like, what's your journey been? I remember coming out. And it's a solution to a problem. I can know if someone. Here's how guys think of it. Okay. I know right away if someone wants to fuck me.

Okay? And I know that sounds icky. I know that's, but that is how people are thinking. If we're all same age, hot or not. That was a website. That was a website. And that was invented by nerdy dudes. And we have to remember, these apps were invented by nerds.

Yeah. People with low personality. If you're a social person, you don't invent a dating app. They weren't invented for people like us. We can go to a room, talk to people, make a new friend, find out what someone does for a living. You know, you can get, these were invented by the Zuckerbergs, the people that didn't go out, the people that didn't want to feel failure. And you're like, and me as a guy who can talk to me alone, I'm like, wow, look at this. This is a tool.

I can find out if someone thinks I'm hot enough to approach, that means there is less chance of failure. And when you see that, you go, awesome. Let's do it. Holy crap. Have you heard of this? You can find out if women, and again, when a guy gets a match, it's not they want to date me. It's, oh, they want to fuck me. And I'm not saying that's true, but that's the thing a guy is thinking when he gets a match.

So you're thinking this is a solution to my problem. My problem is I go up to women and I say, hey, where are you from? And they go, I don't speak English. Yep. That hurts. Yes. Right? So this is a solution. And men are told, let's be honest, men are told, make the move, be a man,

ask her out, take her to dinner. So this is now, you're now a solution to the pain you feel when you have to do these things. So there was excitement I remember with Tinder when it came out. I remember people were like, wow, finally. And it felt so, you felt so shallow at first. Like you were like, what am I doing? I'm just like, ew, ew, hot, not hot, not. Like, I was liking it, but I remember my first time swiping on Tinder, I was like, this feels wrong or something? Like, it feels weird. I agree with you, but

that's the other thing. To men, this isn't, didn't feel wrong at all. Right, okay, right. Okay, sure. Because you go, this is what I do at a bar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Here's a question you guys probably get a lot. I get it all the time. I've been on four dates with him. I'm not sure if I'm into him or not. I'm not sure if I'm attracted. Actually, I will say, I

don't, I don't get that question a lot. You seem to get that question, Four is a lot. Yeah. It's a lot. For me, I wouldn't be on one date with someone I wasn't attracted to. I wouldn't.

I wouldn't, I wouldn't, my penis wouldn't let me go. My penis is a very strict dictator. I think there's a thing that women like that whatever that makes you want to fuck somebody. So it's like, the reason why that probably happened is because this guy's probably like decent looking. I was a good job, good on paper.

And so she wants to make it work. She wants to want to fuck him. But it's four dates in and he's paid for these dinners. And she's like, can I just feel a tingle in my vagina? Totally agree. and I'm saying men don't go on the date unless they have a tingle on their penis. If the penis doesn't get up,

they don't go on a second date. Women, you never hear a man say that a woman grew on hand. It's all women. And he did. She would be fucking angry. It's never happened. I went on the day for her personality.

Then I got attracted. See how many marriages are doing well. My last relationship, Ashley kept being like, just see what you think about it. And I get being like, I don't know, maybe. It happens all the time. Like my ex that we dated for years.

We were super in love. The first date I was like, absolutely not. Absolutely not. I used to date a girl. She would say the same. At first, I wasn't into him. I'm like, I have no relation to this whatsoever.

It never happens. It never happens. But again, these apps were invented by nerdy men. These apps are created for and by men. And I'm not saying that as like a win-loss thing. I'm just saying like the idea of here's their face, hot or not, date or not date is built for a man's sensibility. The idea of like, well,

they good on, you said good on paper. Like, what? For a first day? You know? Right. Like a man can't apprehend that. We get to good on paper at like, should we get engaged.

Yeah. Like does your mom approve? Right. That's it. Right. That's the man's good on paper. Especially your mom. Oh yeah.

My mom. She's hyper involved. So what's your status now? Are you on them still? Like have you ever had a relationship from one? Like what's your... I've gotten many relationships from them. I've been on many days from them.

I've been here for the, whole evolution of the swiping apps. I think to me, I'm not paid by this company. Currently, I've been paid in the past, but a hinge, I think, I think a liking app is better for a brain than a swiping app. I think brain-wise, I think about, like, you know, the idea of moving to right or left isn't really great. I think it's better to like.

I think- Feels more intentional. More intentional. Also, the prompts, like, I think the prompts are the solution to a lot of people's problems. People don't take them seriously enough. If someone responds to your prompt, that is a more. thoughtful, you know, they're trying as sad as that, you know, the bar is very low. That's pretty sad. I'll take that over like, hey, how's your day? I mean, that sandwich looks good. Still better to me. Right. Like, look, they've noted, because all of our profiles are now

our own art projects. You are putting together your pictures. You've put it together your answers. And when someone responds to your specific project that's on the fridge, you go, oh, okay, cool. So I'm glad that you brought that up because there's this, so there's this New York Mag that was last, last month at this point that did a whole expose about the 10 years of swiping. And the author of the article wrote it so perfectly that I wrote down the quote. She said it's like a laboratory both scientist

and experiment. I was learning which parts of my personality worked on another person. So we're like constantly experimenting on like how can I like game the system get somebody to talk to me. I mean we give dating app profile makeovers at our live shows and I always see these answers that I call millennial madlips

because they're just using lines that have been a pre-approved by all millennials, like, you know, that you've just seen it a thousand times, and that language is evolved over time. They're right. What they're saying is, like, I'm saying things that I know will cause a reaction, like pineapple on pizza, like yes or no, you know, like these things that you're like, and now, and I think 10 years later, a decade later, like, what I've noticed is we have seen, we've done the turns on the roller coaster. We're rolling our eyes. Like, I'm off the apps now. I've deleted them. I take breaks from them. And it's all me issues. It's not the

people on them. The people on them are just there to go find me people. Like, what's more nice than that? You know? I mean, well, okay, but like, and I'll tell you what put me off of them, what made me delete. The thing one time I told you this when we were in Denver, like, it's sometimes it's just, it's, it is a bad interaction that when that girl was just like, I'd only swiped on you so I could tell my friends I matched with you. I'm not going to go out with you, you'll be mean to me. Like, and that was when you're like, this is why I'm deleting a hinge today. Like, right? That was a shitty thing. It's not like, you know what I mean? Like, it makes you be like, fuck this.

whole thing. That's the thing is what we have to acknowledge is that we're all human and we are not equipped for the numbers. Just more. More. Just remember that. With any dating up, your parents didn't

go to a bar, meet three people at a max. You're meeting three on a daily basis sometimes and you're going so that's more excitement. That's also more disappointment. That's also more shitty interactions. And then we get mad at ourselves because we're like everyone here sucks. It's like, no, you hit a bad run.

You know, like, you just met more people today. If you went and talked to 10 people outside, you're going to have... Same thing, yeah. Same thing, you know, so I think we're hard on ourselves on the apps. Like, I think, you know, genuinely, like I, you know, go on these and you go, like, that woman wrote to me,

basically we matched and then I wrote to her and then she didn't answer back. And like, the beauty of apps is you never feel disappointment. You just, they go away and you move down, they move down the list. And then she wrote to me like a month later like, hey, sorry for not getting back. I just wanted to tell my friends that I match with you.

Oh, this was a month in between, wow. Right. And I was like, what the fuck? You didn't need to send that. Right. You didn't need to remind me you're here. You're already in the hidden matches. Right. You're gone. Why are you back up the top?

To let me know that you didn't want to fuck me. Yeah. And I use the word fuck. Because I think a lot of people leave and especially the women that I, you know, interact with, they forget sex is a part of this. And you have to like keep that. mind. Like these aren't, you know, just because they're called dating apps doesn't mean everyone's on there to date. You know, some people are on there to just have something to do on the toilet.

Right. You know, some people are on there to get, you know, to forget about their breakup. Some people are on there just to put a toe in the water. And we put it on ourselves. You go, why isn't anyone going on a date? Why do they keep talking to me and never make a plan? Why? You know, why, why, why? And you go, yeah, because everyone's going through their own shit. Yeah. And it's harder now than it was a decade ago to move off the couch because you've had bad experiences. So you're sitting there going, was the conversation good enough? Do I like their pictures? We're all the Google generation. We look up the people. We look up the restaurant before we go. Yeah. We Google map the walk to make sure there's no extra steps. And I do that with people.

The biggest indication to me that we are like too hard on ourselves on these apps is one of the number one questions that I'm sure you get, we get is how do I get to me to stop pen-palling me on an app? Right. You're overthinking this. People are just here not fun, go up a drink. Stop pen-pally. Just say, hey, we're in a dating app. Let's go on a date. Right. You free Tuesday? Yeah. Here's my number.

This has been fun. Yeah. The best thing you can ever do in an app, positive and give direct, give them the tools while being positive. Give them the tools to build the house. You want to go. So what do I want? I want a date.

I want drinks. I want them to make a plan. Hey, this was so much fun. Here's my number. Make a plan. I'm down. Yeah. Make a plan.

I'm down. You've just told them everything that you've made it incredibly easy. Some people are like, oh, I don't tell. I don't make the plan. If that turns you off, then don't do that. Right. You know, then stop talking to the person. person that keeps talking to you. You're turned off.

For sure. And I mean, I think you figure out quick, too, if someone just wanted a dopamine hit on a Sunday night. Sure. You know, like, they never talked to you again. Like, they kind of came in hot and now they've disappeared. Forget about them. You know how many people I've talked to and just been like, it's time to move on. Yeah. It just goes down the page. You wanted something to do. These are all normal. Yeah, I like to feel good too. We all want to feel like some connection. And we're all busy. I don't know you. You're a stranger that lives in my phone. I have a

family, I have friends, I have a business, I have hobbies, it's hot outside, I want to stay inside. I mean, there's so many reasons why I stop talking to you. I'm not that I ever going dating up, but you get it. But then you have friends that are in relationships that go, just go, just go. When you don't use the apps, you're accused of not trying. And it's like, that gets annoying, that gets frustrating because you're like, well, I'm not going to just, I like my life. You know, I enjoy my solitude. Yeah. You have to be better than me and my phone. Yeah. Not a lot of people are. That's okay. Not a lot of people are. better than me at the phone at the, me at the bar with my phone.

Ooh. I love it. Oh my God, martini. I love to be around people, but on my phone. Right. I want to hear the chatter. Parallel or, Mike Johnson called it.

I like to be with people, but doing my own thing. Not all the time. I love to talk, but actually will do a word all lines more together. Yeah, sometimes I just want to be, I want a friend by me, but I want to be on my wordal. What are, yeah, that's two best friends are two people scrolling, just hanging to the sound of each other's brain. breath, right?

Each with a drink. I'm having like alone time and friend. And the thing is we're all looking for that like in a relationship. We're all looking to meet someone. Like the worst part about dating is the month that gets you to, oh, we can just shut up now? Like when do you just become a hand that scratches my head? Yeah. Right?

Like I need to get to that point. Wait, I'm so glad you brought up this thing that like people just give dating advice like from their own perspective. And like that thing where people that people that. in relationships tell single people like, just go on the date. It's like, you know how hard it is for me to put on an outfit, pick a place, go there and like drum up conversation

with a stranger for two hours? Right. Active listening? Get out of here. So I play this, so I've invented this game. Because right now the world, like, we play red flag deal breaker. People are like, this one thing happened. But that's not how dates work. And then you get accused of being

picky because you're like, they're short. So I've invented, you know, like if someone says, well, you should go, who cares if they're short? Okay, fine. I've invented a new game to decide whether you go on dates or not. Okay. Okay. This is how I do it.

Oh my God. I'll present a quality. You give a number to that quality because everyone has different numbers. Yeah. One to ten plus or minus. Okay. So if we get above ten, you go on the date. If we, if we don't, goodbye.

They're a nice person, but not for me. Okay. So, okay. Bald. 10. 12. A hundred. I knew.

I knew what I was dealing with. I should have just. said looks like Stone Cold Steve Austin. Yes. If he looks like, I'll marry him. If he looks like a bouncer and he lives, if he lives in Tampa, Raina's Dell. Last night I met one that looked like a bouncer. He lived in Miami.

That was the last time I talked to Ashley and Rob for the rest of the night. I saw him first and I was like, that's Raina's type. Like that's the best thing about our friendship. It's so bald. 12. Plus 12. Okay. So that's a plus 12.

Not balding. Where are you? Completely bald. I'm confused on the scoring. So like one to 10, like how much do you like that quality? Just give a number. To me, it's five. Five.

Plus five. There you go. Because I's like, go either way. Live with his parents. Zero. Negative six. Negative six. Now you're down to six.

But also I'm in my... Now you're at five. No, you're not. You guys were not critical math students. Like how much do you like it on a scale of one to ten? If you meet a guy, he's like, I live with my parents. How excited are you? Zero.

It could be minus two. I'm a negative six. If you were going to give a score to it. If you were going to give a score to it. Oh, okay. So lives with his parents. I can't figure this out. Yeah, but I'm not 22.

Like, if somebody lived with their parents at 22, I'd be like, uh, four. Here's the thing. How much you like it? Zero is not at all. You hate it. You hate it. Yeah. Is it a negative five?

Would you be like take five points off that person? Yeah. So that's it. So now I'm at a zero. Now you're at a zero. Bella, are you writing to the math? So, but I'm saying, do we understand how this works because you go. Okay.

Okay. Bella, I was a 12 and a negative six. So if you get to a 10, then you're going out. Got it. Family has a private plane. 20. There you go. There you go. It's not like that.

It's not like that. I'll give a plus 10. Yeah, I'll give a 10, actually. Plus 10. Good at head tickles. Don't care. She actually, you're zero neutral. You actually don't like it.

You're not neutral. You don't like it. Because what happens is when someone tries to fix you up, they go, oh, you've got to meet my friend. They're awesome. And in 2022, we go, well, give me the stats. Give me the picture. Send me the Instagram.

The baseball card. Give me the baseball card. Exactly. Like, tell me about this person. Because this gets you out of your friends accusing you. of being lazy dater, of being too much, of being picky. Because that's the thing we all get accused of, and then you start being hard on yourself.

So if you gave me these stats on a woman, you know, dark hair, big ass, hates her family. I'd be like, okay, we're at like a seven. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I'd be like, I don't know. Like, doesn't get along with, you know, her brother. I'd be like, okay, that's a thing to know.

Like, has no job. Okay, negative five. Like, you know, you go, okay. And then your friends. And show me the picture. picture. But that's the thing because you ask for a picture from your friends. If they don't show you a picture right away, they become the most annoying people in the entire world. They start making it about your looks. My parents, my parents were like, you got to meet this woman. I go, well,

let me see what she looks like. She's better looking than you. I was like, what are you fucking talking about? I'm allowed to have a time. It's crazy. It was crazy. My mom was like, here's a picture. I go, this is from Facebook 17 years ago. She's better looking than you. She's better look at you just go just go that's what people probably think about me they just don't tell me to my face we did this whole thing because a guy friend of mine was like really actively trying to set me up with somebody he's just great he really thinks i'm great and we were trying to figure out and he just wasn't he showed me a picture of a guy was like absolutely not and then the next guy was like okay now that i let's go from here like it was just kind of he didn't know but that's the thing

when we can be thoughtful for ourselves then you don't want someone to be less thoughtful for you than you were for yourself. Yeah. And what people do is they go, you're single, you're single, just go out with them. You want love, you're a loser,

you need someone, you keep complaining. And it's like, I'm not complaining. I'm just letting you know, my stories are just more interesting than theirs. That's why you keep asking.

Yes. And just because single is not the bar. If single was the bar, then we would be on a date every night with someone from an app. Right. Like, that's not, the thing is that there's no single people out there.

So that's such an insult to be like, you're single, they're single, it's just like, ugh, you're Jewish. you guys will have sacks. Oh, yeah, that's a big one.

You know, you're alone, they're alone. Stop being only and shut the fuck up. Unless it's you're rich and tall and they're rich and tall. Right. That's the only one that I'm okay with. Right. They have a private plane. You don't have a private plane.

I'd be like, okay. I would go on the game. They're diamond status. Right. You got that these are things, but you know what it is when they say your diamond status. Oh, you've thought of me. Yes.

You actually go, oh, I know Jared loves Delta. He loves diamond status. He loves diamond status. That is a thoughtful fix-up to me. Are you triggered right now? Two diamonds. I checked mine this morning and I am like a- I checked on this morning.

I checked at blue last night. I thought maybe what happened overnight. I used to, there was a point where Delta app entered into my Tinder, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, like, rotation. Like I was like checking it on a hour.

There should be an app component. So like, so how connected with their diamonds? Yeah. This has been brought to my. attention that we, you can swipe on diamonds, swipe on levels. Or you can swipe on any Delta person, but you would see their level. Just so you...

Like, we should invent it? Like, I couldn't match with the gold. Come on. Oh, my God. Just get out of my face. Okay, I like that question for a first date, though. How do you like to travel? Somebody's like, well, first I go through the sky priority line.

And then I go through Clear. And then I go to the Delta Sky Lounge. Hold on. And then I go to the Bucfay at LaGuardia. At the Dothland, I get salmon. We should do a story like this for the vibes out. And then I go through. go, I skip the whole line.

Oh, yes. I sky priority board into first class. That I board first? I need extra time. And then I laugh at the passengers as they come on to the plane to the back of the plane. Oh my God. Tell me you board with the military service people. One day I was so hungover and I was standing there and I was like, I think I need extra time.

Like I was like, Raina, do you think I can go? Those are my favorite people, the people that are old that aren't old enough for extra time. And you go, look at that. They didn't give a shit about what they looked like. were like, fuck it. I'm old. Okay. Should we do the stats with Jared? So actually I put some polls on our Instagram and I will say that you might find this interesting.

The caveat is that our audience is mostly female. So a lot of this is answered by women, which I think is also just interesting to note. But thousands. I mean, how many it was thousands. So New York Mag did this, they only had 1,200 people answer. And you and I had thousands of thousands. I bet like, I saw like 8 to 10,000 people

like answered. So even in the first five minutes as I was walking out of the street, I had almost a thousand people in the first slide. Yeah. Listen, well, this is ahead of everything when it's all, you know, women have interest in this subject. Yeah. Okay. So that's something.

But this is something when women write into the podcast and are upset about dating apps, you're upset about something that the other side doesn't really care that much about. And that's something they have to keep in mind. So why did you delete? Like what was the last catalyst for being like, are you thinking you're done for good or you're just like taking a break? It was taking up time and I wasn't taking it seriously. Okay.

I was talking with people with no motivation. It was going to take me so much to go on a date that I was like, this isn't even, and I was getting mad at myself. Again, I'm not saying I'm a hero. I'm doing this for me. The beauty of being single is that you don't only care about you. And so I'm sitting there talking to nice people and then going, I got to go on the date because here's the one thing every guy knows.

The clock is ticking. Not biological. I'm talking about match. Tick, tick, tick, tick. When is the date coming? You have a, and if it's past a week of talking, you're in the overtime. You're in you're in weirdoville.

You're in hiding somethingville. Right? So we know everyone you're talking to, every woman out there, if you're talking to a guy, he knows the clock is ticking. So don't act like, oh, I don't want to be a pen pal. He knows. He knows. Yeah. Stop it. Okay. I'm going to read you with some stats and we'll go through.

So just baseline, are you on dating apps? 42% of people said yes. Are you on the apps for a lover to get laid? 77% said love. Yeah, of course. Then, do you prefer meeting people on the apps or in the wild? 87% of people said I prefer to meet in the wild. Of course.

It's interesting that 13% meant meeting on the apps. Well, someone's got to, like, again, this goes back to personality people versus no personality people. Or the availability of people. Like, some people just, they don't have accessibility to anybody. Well, I think that's a, to me, that's more of an excuse than the reality. These people, the 87% are going, I am able to go out. I want to go back. Are you on dating apps?

58% no. I mean, at least our, so this survey, I mean, maybe some people wanted to answer more because they're not. You know, it's like a motivation for answering. But like at least, I mean, the broad scope is like more people, it's almost 60, 40, aren't on it. Almost 90% of people don't like it. And then do you enjoy using day and apps to date?

81% no. 19% yes. Like our stats were just kind of like, this is what we're just like people don't. Yeah, because it's also the most accessible. Yeah. So it's the easiest thing to use and it's also the worst thing to use. So we got almost.

That's the same thing for anything that's easy to use. The hardest thing is to get someone to set you up. That's why it's the one you want the most. That's the top tier. And then you have in real life second hardest. That's why people want it. You know, that's why people want that. It's exciting.

You don't have to look. Looking something up and knowing exactly what's coming in front of you is boring. This is supposed to be romantic. It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be spontaneous. None of that happens on a dating app. But you know what doesn't happen on a dating app? Getting turned down, right?

You never hear, I mean, in my one situation was insane, but you never hear someone swipe left on you, right? I mean, you have people unmatch you. You have to look for that. You have to look for pain. You, the off status, the, just the regular status of dating apps is swipe right, match, feels good. Yeah.

Or swipe right, nothing. I forget about it. two seconds. I mean, I think there is definitely feelings of rejection, especially if you really are like, that looks like a person I'm into, you write a message, you take the time, you shoot your shot, you know, it's like... It's way smaller than in person.

It feels way less. It feels better than somebody looking me in the face and saying I'm not interested or I have a girlfriend. Right, that hurts. You're also still a stranger. Yeah. I mean, I was at the Spaniard. The Spaniard, I would consider like a 27-year-old embassy. Totally. It's just all two, you know,

young, late 20s, place to go in the West Village. I'm sitting in the Spaniard. It's a circular bar. You've been there before, you know? And then when you go from the one room to the next, you know what I'm talking about? You're going into that doorway. There's a bar seat, a bench seat that's against the bar. And the bench seat, it's packed in the Spanner, which it always is. I go to the, I see that bench seat and I see it open up. And I go sit down. I'm like, got a seat at the bar, kind of like, look at people, whatever, have my drinks, sit with my phone, be amongst, as we talked about before. This woman comes out to me and she goes and I'm like

oh chick coming up to me this is fucking great she comes up to me she goes hey are you going to be sitting there a while and I go well I just sat down but I can scooch as I said the word scooch she turns to her friend she goes he's not

getting up he's not he's not leaving like I'm literally about to invite them to sit with me to maybe talk to them. You know, he's taking up the whole seat. He's big and fat.

No. He's not going to, he wants to scooch. No. He might talk to us. No. Tell him we don't speak English. No, we don't speak English. Tell him we speak French.

I don't know. He's trying to talk to me now. This happens six months ago. I, I am scar. I am for life. I will never forget me going, I can scooch. Like, I'm trying to be sweet, polite. I can I can scoge my little tissy over to the side.

And this woman literally turned to my face. No, he's not moving. The seat will not become free for us to meet better looking suitors. No. Right. And I don't say this to be sad or mean to myself. I'm saying this because no, no interaction on an app will match that. You're right.

It's true. It is true. So we're choosing something we do, a lesser evil. It definitely hurts less, yeah. So let's admit to that. Yes. Because, and again, I'm a sociable person. We're on day, we're on fucking podcast talking shit.

We can meet new people. We go on stage every night. We talk to thousands of people on stage. All of us have the ability to go out and meet people. We don't need these apps. We're jocks. Yeah. Right?

We're not a bunch of nerds. These were built for nerds that didn't have the ability. to go up to people and say hello. And I'm saying there are people like that, and I'm happy that they have this at their ability. But technology is trying to eradicate charm. Technology is trying, and I don't mean to sound like this conspiracy there is,

but I've thought about this a lot, like, you know, the meta world, the Facebook fake world, where you go into a fake office, that's made for people who don't like going out into the world. I mean, it's so true. And this is like, I'm at like a top-tier level.

of extrovert social person. I've never gone on a second date from an app. I don't like it. Rain is not even on them. It's like I don't prefer it. I want to meet people in real life, but you're like when you got the crutch, it's hard to get off because it's easier on the app.

It's easier to not leave the house. Listen, and guys like to ascend. I don't believe in the chase. I believe in standards being chased. That's what gets a guy to make a move. Guys like to be excited about who they're meeting. Not, not, oh, don't take. them back. Oh, if you want to go out, make a plan. That's different than not texting back. Hey,

great talking to you. Make a plan and I'm down. Now they're chasing the standard that you just laid out. To say like, so I think, and men do get excited by, I want to, I want to make sure I can get them to go out. I want to make that plan. I want them to be getting off to my plan. That's like, you know, guys like getting women off. It's like finishing a video game. You got to the end of the level. That's what they asked, did you come? Yeah. You know, right? Did you come? They want to know. Did I be the level? do a good job. Right. If you spray shit on our face, we'd love it. Yeah. But, you know, we would, do you call. So that's, this is all part of it. It's like, it's a less social world to be social.

It's a crutch. And I'm calling the people who invented them nerds, but it's being used by everybody. Of course, of course. I know that. But it's still at the end of the day, it's, you can't deny that it was created so you can forgo meeting people in the wild. You could, of course, do both. Well, I do both. And people bring up, people, people, do bring up, right, or what you brought up is true. People bring up, well, I'm in a low populated area. It helps me get out, you know, but that's a very specific, like. Well, I'm just not even that. I mean, I've sympathy for people that sit at a desk all day. They don't have done a social job. Like, I could go to a comedy club any night, hang out, meet people.

Yeah, but you can go out with your friends, you know, when people are. They can go to comedy clubs too. Yeah, they can go to comedy clubs. They can go out for happy hour. That is like, happy hour is the place to meet people. That's where you meet. Because that is, no one's there hammered. People are with their friends. with other people. Like, people always ask for like, oh, my friends are married. Well, all your friends who are married have friends.

Yes. Married people are amazing wing persons because they are not competing with you. I've been telling them. Definitely bring your married friend out. Right. Or have a friend luck. I have this thing called the friend luck where everyone, you have a party at this apartment, you know, this place, everyone could all of us bring a friend.

It doesn't have to be single. Doesn't have to be, they can be any, forget relationship says, just bring a friend. Because then everyone starts talking. and they go, oh, I met this person at this party. You know, oh, oh, you know what? I was talking to this girl. She's so cool. I was talking to this guy.

He actually said he just broke up. This is how you meet people. This is how you need momentum. And dating apps offer fake momentum. I wanted to talk about, oh, can I tell you why I got off? I want to talk about this. Yeah, why did you get off? I feel, I felt a pattern of just too sexual too quick.

And I, and so this, but this was just kind of funny. There was two things back to back that I was like, I'm out. But this was just like, interaction I wanted to read regardless. Let me just say, if a guy mentioned sex in the app, that's what he's looking for. For sure. You're never going to change that. So you go up.

You never go down. So I want pictures. It's always going to go to nudes. Okay. I want, uh, you look hot in that bathing suit. Going to go up. You're never going to go down. So the one after this that actually put me out was just like, he felt like he was

starting to sex and I was like, I don't want, I'm not into this. But this was like a little more funny. So this guy, you know you feel when someone's like really into it. They're like responding right away. Like they probably wouldn't meet up that moment. Whatever. Of course. Very cute.

You know, tall. He had a dog. So anyway, we're chatting for a second. And he said, you seem like a lot of fun. Dot, dot, dot. Over. So I go. Over.

You seem like a lot of fun. Dot, dot is I want. You seem like we're going to hook up. So I go, why do I feel like I'm about to be propositioned for a three sum? Perfect. Yeah. And he said, ha, ha, ha, not at all. Has it ever happened?

Just a blow job. Has it ever? Yes. Just a blow job. He said, has that ever happened? And you've said, yes. And I'm like, it happens occasionally. And no, I don't attend hinge threesome's, L.O.L.

And he goes, that makes two of us. But we should still hook up. Right. But we should still hook up. And I just don't respond because I'm like, I don't, you're a stranger. And here's the thing. What's happened the next time too? Guys feel that they went too far.

Like, they feel that you didn't respond. And then they follow up. So he wrote. So he writes too direct. And I was like, eh, not really my vibe with someone I've never seen in person. But hey, if that's why you're on here. But if you're responding, you're still planning. you're still playing.

True. I'm not against. I'm also not against the hook. Well, but he knows that. That's why he's still going. So I go, no, this is just funny. So I'm like, it's not really my vibe. I don't like to shame somebody.

It wasn't so egregious. It wasn't a dick pick. I'm like, I don't know you. So I don't know if I'm going to hook up with you. That's kind of the, what I'm trying to get across. Sure. So he goes, it's not my vibe either. Now he's a lot.

I love how much this guy leans in, walks it back. Leans him walks in. It gets so much better. So I showed Zereda. And Rana. and Raina wrote this response. She's so good. She's on the apps, but she'll coach you through it. She goes, I don't know which personality you'd respond to here, Ben. So I write, I'm not really sure which personality to respond to here. Okay. Seven to text in a row. Well,

hit send. Why would you write well and hit set? Well, he's letting you know he's there. Well, I like the idea of it, but I wouldn't say that it's me or that I would like to do it too often or even do it often. I actually just came out of a long-term relationship. So, yeah. So, I just stop. Sure. I'm done with this. You're on the rebound. Now you're just all over the place.

You're erratic. He didn't play it cool. Didn't play cool. So then the next day, I just was like walking to the stand and I was just like got this response in my head. Like I just thought it'd be funny. Now I'm just entertaining myself. So I just wrote, gotcha.

Well, I'll hit you up if I'm in the market for some rebound sex. Okay. Unmatched. Yeah. I didn't you tell me you wanted rebound sex? Right. No, I'm saying I'll let you know. and you unmatch?

You're trying to understand. I'm entertaining myself, but the unmatch is so funny to me. To me, he's not out of a relationship. Like, he's still seeing someone. There's this thing with, like, guy who wants to fuck that he doesn't trust the person that would fuck it. Yeah, that's what it was almost like. He's like, oh, no, you want to do this?

You must be fucking crazy. But he set him down to hook up, and she said something. Do you think she just? like, he was like, don't, please don't have a funny I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, there is an op, but there is a chance that he found out, and just know, there is a, there is a chance that he found out. you are and he feels he's being thought. Or if he's like, wait a minute, now she's going to, this is going to go on the internet. So

then here's my question to you. Then the next thing that happened was this guy basically, he just felt too sexual with me. He was like, does that imply you'd rather show than tell? I was like, oh. So I just stop responding and these guys feel it. They think then he was like, sorry, I hope he didn't make you uncomfortable. I didn't say anything. I just stopped responding.

Hope it to make you uncomfortable. Not my intention. And I was like, I'm not uncomfortable. I just don't feel like sex team with a stranger. Like I just said that. unmatch immediately. Like I feel like they're scared of getting like me too or something. Oh no. No, I think the more scary thing is the like the West Elm Caleb thing where you, because you know, story time. Yeah, you're right. And you jump on hashtag and you go, because everyone listens to a woman's story time. You're so right. And listen, I'm not, neither of these guys did anything egregious. I think that I kind of called him out and they

back down because of this Westlome Caleb thing. They unmatched. They don't want this to end up on the internet, just not West Delm, Caleb, but our culture today. For me, those two situations back to back just made me be like, I'm not into this. Also, not egregious to you is egregious to someone else. Like, that's pretty gray. Like, and some people are like, I'm here to date and you have wasted my time. I got ahead of myself. I don't need to be on this app.

Right. That's what I was just like, I'm done here. And what these guys are doing, they're going, I don't know them. Let me take a shot. And that's the other problem with dating apps is like, no one, no friend to be like, how to go with Ashley. Oh, well, I asked her if she does threesomes. You know, like, your friends would be like,

you're a monster. What's wrong with? I also brought the threesome. And his defense, I said threesome first. You said threesome. But I mean, this guy. He brought it up. Okay, let me ask you a lot of fun.

I have to ask you questions. So I am really, I'm equally sensitive to this with as she is. Like, I didn't open the door for this. I don't like that you're being so presumptuous or a time. Even if I tell you that I own a sex toy company, I don't really want you to start being incredible sexual, even though that does sort of open the door. Sure.

But what do you think this, what do you think the success rate? is from guys. Because I don't like it and actually doesn't like it. I don't have any girlfriends that enjoy somebody being like, well, let's hook up. I don't like it. It's presumptuous. Well, it's the same thing as asking like what's the success rate of like a cat

collar. Like to me, these are internet cat callers. Well, they're doing it with the hope. I don't think they're thinking in those terms. I don't think they're thinking of like nine out of ten. You know, this isn't cold calling. But if nine out of ten girls don't like it and you're there to fuck, wouldn't you change the behavior?

you were still on the hook longer than I would have advised you to be on the... I don't know, really? I feel like it's like five sentences back and forth. But no, but her go... But Ashley's saying, I'm gonna have fun with this now.

Yeah. He's not saying, oh, she's just having... He's... Oh, she's still talking. All right. That's a, you know, any answer is an answer. But the dump was crazy. The seven...

The dump, maybe he found someone else to go do that with. Maybe he didn't trust it. You know, I think, like, Like whenever, whenever someone's like, I'm fooling around, like, you can fool around. You can have fun with this and whatever way you want. A lot of people don't have the ability. They think they do.

They're going to tough talk. But if this guy's on here to fuck with no other thoughts of anything else, and then he starts saying things like, you know, takes you to drinks after having these conversations, you go, well, I kind of like them. It could have been more. I thought, you know, how many people say, you know, I thought it was going to be a one-night stand. And then he kept texting me.

And you go, yeah, he's not thinking of this deeper, probably, until he is. But I'm saying, like, just the nature of going along, it's a dog. You're still playing with the dog. He still thinks Fetch is going to happen. It's not that deep for him. I understand the idea of like, and again, this can be fun if you can have fun with it. I just don't, like, when you went back to it, yeah, he's still the same guy he was in the beginning. And another reason why I shouldn't be on the apps if I'm just going to fuck around.

Right. But these two things back to back, they took the time to unmatch. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's just like, I made a joke. You said you're on the rebound and you wanted to fuck me. So I said, I'll let you know if I'm interested. Unmatched. Like the other guy just being like, eh, you know, like, it's interesting.

And that's why I like wanted to run it by you. It's like they're, it's either fuck this girl or I'm scared now. This is going to be on TikTok, you know. Sure. And also if it happens quickly, then it's like, like you even said like he's looking for it to happen now. answering right away. So he goes, hey, what's up? Oh, you, you know, you looking for something weird? And it's like, what kind of weird are you talking about? Yeah. Well, I'm out right now. Why don't you come

have a drink with me? Like, well, I'm out right now is like a dangerous type of like, like, like, I'm just saying these guys don't go down. Like he even tried to go down a little bit, but then it's back. Yeah. So I always. And if you, I mean, this kind of goes out saying, but like while we're here, if your interactions start this way and you go out with those people anyway, you need to know what it is. Like, don't go into it that that's going to be your boyfriend. You're not going to make them different. They're telling you.

You told you, they told you who they were. Right. Yeah. You know, and again, like, I'm not again, like, what you're saying as far as like, it's not egregious, it's not crazy. They didn't send a dick pick. Like, that's kind of like the land they're living in and of this like plausible deniability.

Sure. And if someone thought that was egregious, that's that they're, to me, I'm just like, it wasn't that I was so deeply offended. I'm just making it clear. But we have a few more questions for you. We had a question of why do men match with you and never talk? But that also goes into like, do you like when women message first? Like, are you down with it?

Or do you like want to be the person that pursues? I don't mind. It can go either way. That stuff to me is so small. Okay. If the conversation is good, the conversation is good. The men don't talk because they just want to see, you know, some people are like, sometimes it just feels good to know if some.

someone thinks you're attractive. Yeah. Like, yeah. You can't think of these, I, and it's hard to do this. You have to change your perspective. Like, do I like them? It can't be, do they like me? Okay.

It really can't because you are what you is. You know, you can't change that. And especially these dating apps, I mean, the fact they're called dating apps is like almost too serious. They should be called meeting apps. Because people meet for different reasons. People want to meet people for different reasons. People want to meet people only on their phone.

They want to be at the bar texting with something. going forever. I have another question, and it's loaded, but we can do it quickly. The dreaded opening line, what do you think the best things to say are? Specific to their profile. Again, it's their art project. All of us are narcissists. All of us put together a little piece. And again, what's better than specific? Can you think of something specific that you liked recently? It's been a while, but like- Or hated? But this is, I don't like that. You actually say you don't like when people neg you. And I think that that's also like good feedback. If somebody starts nagging me in an initial conversation.

I'm done. Bye. Respond to my prompts. Yep. Promps are there for reason. I go out of an answer. Be positive. I think positivity is like such, if you went up to someone in a bar and was like,

that shirt. Yeah. Or we talk about people that are like, me, I'm this thing. You better be this. We hate it. And I think, you know,

on your blog. They're not all. Hinge prompts, obviously. But another app, for example, like I'm on Raya. I'm still in Raya. And again, is so good at the app. So she's like last night she helped me message this guy. This guy hadn't

messaged me. I was interested in terms of like where he lives, what he does, his age, he's cute. So I was like, I'm just going to, you know, you get 10 days. I was like, I don't want it to disappear. I'm going to shoot my shot. And you just don't have a lot of prompts on Raya. There's like maybe one sense. People talk very little. Yeah. I know. I've noticed. But like, he just had a picture. I'm just saying like I'm coming to realize this. But he had a picture of him like a fishing in a wedding. So Raina was like say it's so nice to meet like another ordained minister on here. Love that. Thank you. Love it. I love it. I don't tell you guys my jury. I've been on two dating updates in my whole

life. That's it. I don't do it. I didn't even know too. But I think that's, but here's the thing. I think that that's the power. But that's the power in your message. You're not tired of it. I think that's a lot of people get lazy. That's true. Yeah. So you go, oh, ordained minister. Look at that. You're putting more thought into it. I think when you're on it for a while, you're like, I've been here. I've done it. I'm not even going to think about an opening line because these things never work out anyways. you are looking at going ordained, ordained, fun, look at that. That's more thought than people even.

People get annoyed putting that much thought into it. But I just think this is like so fun. This actually is a stranger who lives on your phone so you can have as much fun with it as possible. It's not insulting. It's cute. It's light. There's a lot of people listening right now

that are done with fun. This ain't fun anymore. And I, what you're saying is the way they should be. But you sound like, fresh to the apps person. You should do anything that doesn't seem fine. You should be wild if you want to. Everyone,

but that's easy to say if you're just like not in the game of like, I want to find someone. I have friends that are like, I don't want to do this. I hate this. I'm not a place. I have one person. That's what I mean.

Take a break. Don't be on it. If you hate this, you're giving the energy out there. That's what I mean. Don't do it. I was on a date once with this girl and she goes, I go,

how did, I like to ask, how did you end up here? You know, I don't like the question. Why are you single? that's not a very nice question. We're both single, but it's like,

what got you to this point to this date? And she was like, you want the real story or the cute story? And I was like, oh my God. Yeah. Like, I felt like I was like, you want to hear the hard truth, motherfucker. You're in like an interrogation room. Right.

You can't handle the truth. And in the beginning, I was like new to dating and I'm going, wow, that person's really fucking had it. And now I'm like, tell me, scratch my head. Now let me see if your fingernails are big enough for a back scratch. I gotta know if you're good for me.

You know, like, I'm like, it takes like two months and you're like, you know, you're like, I can date someone in Hoboken and then it's like, they better be on my street corner in five minutes or I'm not looking at them in the fucking eye. You know, like you, you change so quickly.

So it's like I want, I think every the one should have Raina's exuberance for the process. Well, I mean, it's easy for me to say it. I don't do it. I met a guy last night in the wild. I just, I don't, I, it's easy for me to judge something I'm not doing. I'm giving advice. after saying the people that I had a woman go,

I don't speak English. My best in the wild, go to a bar, have a martini, ask someone what they ordered for a drink. That's another art project. Everyone has their own drink. I got a whiskey sour. I got a Cosmo. I got an espresso martin.

You know, these, you go, what'd you order? And everyone likes talking about themselves. So, I mean, I've been going, I've been doing martines. I've been prancing around the West Village, just having martinis, talking to people, taking myself out. I think alone, having a drink, alone in a bar and what did you order.

Sexy. I get a little dressed up. They get to flex like they have some knowledge. Well, Jared, thank you so much for being here. Tell everybody where they can find you. Always a blast. Always a pleasure. This is amazing. At Jared Freed, Instagram. That's where I put everything out. You have a podcast. J. Tranpocket.

The Lodgerald. You guys have all been guests. All the podcast. Everywhere. All the podcast of the board lord. Emily, I'm sorry. There's a tin fish story. Emily loves the attention. I'd love to hear about your buddy.

She loves the shout out. Hi. Yeah, at Jared Freed on Instagram. That's where I am. Okay. Okay. And you guys know where to find everything you need for Vives only at Vivesonly.com. You can shop there.

You can download the app, follow on Instagram and Twitter at Vives Only. Girls Gotta Eat Podcast.com for everything related to Girls Got to Eat Podcasts. And Instagram, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, Raina. On Instagram, Girls Underscore, I've got to eat on Twitter. And we will see you in two weeks. Have a good Labor Day, guys. See soon. Bye.