Girls Gotta Eat - Are We Too Different?

Episode Date: June 15, 2020

Opposites attract (allegedly), but what if you just don't have much in common? We're exploring differences with your partner in this episode -- having different hobbies and interests, when it's healthy, when your partner's hobby is a lifestyle (or an obsession) and you're not into it and vice versa, core values that should align for a solid relationship, and even how to discuss what's happening in the world right now with a partner who is dismissive. We're also discussing Ashley's feelings on surprises, Rayna's recent period snafu, and bringing back Is This Weird? with some extra ridiculous/hilarious submissions. We hope you enjoy! Follow us on Instagram @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Rayna @Rayna.Greenberg, and Ashley @AshHess. Check our website for tour dates and merchandise. Thank you to our partners for this episode: StoryWorth: Get $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/gge. Helix: Helix is offering up to $200 off all mattress orders for our listeners at helixsleep.com/gge. Postmates: Download the free app and use code GGE for $110 of free delivery credit for your first 7 days. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Like, it's a lifestyle. Music and not wearing shoes is the lifestyle. Welcome back to an in-person together. We're together episode of Girls Got to Eat. We're together reunited after three months, three full months. Exactly. And also, we hugged over the dog. That was our last hug over the dog.

And today, our first hug over the dog. I'm so excited. I can't believe I'm looking at your face when we were born. The last time I saw you was, what, March 16th? March 17th, it was a 16th. It was raining. We were crying. My glasses were fogging up.

So I showed up at Ashley's house today. I'm invited. Well, she cleared it with the fam. And we're kind of, you know, we're just, she's really kind of staying away from the parents. We're still being safe. So as much as we can. But yeah, I was sitting at the table doing work this morning.

And I saw you and. I go, Mom, Rain is here. And she goes, I know. And I was like, oh, my God. I ran to the door. And we really did hug it out for a while. I made a video this morning in my car. And I was like, if this bitch doesn't cry when she sees me.

Yeah, we hugged it out. The dogs were jumping up on us. So yeah, that's so funny. We did say goodbye. But remember when we said goodbye, we were like, we don't know when we're going to see each other again. Like, that was such a weird time. People were like, this will be over in two weeks. I mean, not, you know, not really.

Some people were saying that. didn't think that. Obviously we're all hoping that. And then it was like, is this going to be through the summer? Who knew? Who knew? So we're reunited in the Delaware house studio with Dewey. Lee is, Lee Hustletown's walking around the cup full of Jim. Jimmy, what is he? Johnny Walker? Johnny Walker. Why was going to say Jimmy? Jim B? I knew as a man. Yeah. Okay. I want to ask you what your favorite part of seeing me is because I'll tell you what my favorite part of seeing you is. Oh, I know, I know my favorite part of you seeing me when you said I look skinny. You do look skinny.

Your hair is long. Your nails are long. My hair at guys, neutraful.com slash no, go G, GE. You've returned to the earth. I don't know what's my favorite part. Just like the surprise. I'll tell you what my favorite part of you is. Okay.

It's that I don't have to be responsible for the sound or production of this show. Because setting that up every single week makes me so stressed out. When I enable garage band, I have to set up like all the levels and stuff. It's the most stress that I feel in my week. I'm so happy that you're in charge of this today. We are. We're back in our old equipment. We have our mixer soundboard thing going.

Yeah. So yeah, my favorite part was just like seeing you. And I want to talk about this too. My feelings on surprises. Because I'm wondering what you guys know about me if you think I like surprises or not. So take a minute. Take a beat. Think about it.

And I'll tell you. I love surprises like this. This was so great. You know, you cleared it with my family. You know, it's not like I have, I'm doing anything. You know, I think sometimes surprises get a little weird as adults because someone shows up and you're like, wait, I have plans tonight. Or, you know, like we have busy lives. I have a long history with surprises.

And I just want to tell this story. My 18th birthday was in the summer. You guys have my birthday in July. it's like in three weeks. And one night I came home the summer, obviously, right after I graduated high school. And I saw on like the computer desk the invitation for my surprise birthday party. And it said Ashley's surprise 18th birthday party. And it was a picture of me and my two best girlfriends at the time. And I think they were like helping my mom plan it or whatever. And I was like, oh, this is nice. I'm appreciative. But fuck if I'm not going to get in on inviting people and planning my own

birthday party. Because I, you know, like, that's the thing about a party is like, you don't want, whoever's planning it for you, they have to get everybody. Like, my parents and my, don't know all my friends, you know, like, I just wanted to make sure everybody was there that I wanted to be there. So I started taking it upon myself to invite people. And also, I don't know what their plan was to get me there. It was at a pool. It was at the Sumerna pool in Smyrna, Delaware. And so it was like a luau theme. I had this whole, like, I had like a crop top and like a sarong that my mom had gotten me on some vacation destination, probably in a gift shop somewhere. And I like started inviting people and people were like, and I was like,

but don't tell anybody I invited you. I'm still going to make my parents think this is a surprise, whatever. And I obviously chose me and like my 10, my boyfriend at the time and my like 10 best friends. We all went to TGI Fridays for my birthday dinner on brand. I love TGI Friday. I was a broad top. I wore a bra top and a sarong to Fridays. I wore a bathing suit to the grocery store the other day in Pittsburgh. I was four hours away from a body of water. Like, you can't wear that shit in these kind of cities. TGI Fridays, Dover, Delaware.

If you've ever seen my standup and maybe I mentioned it on the podcast before, I did date a bouncer from there, we'll get into it later. But I, like a bando, like just literally just covered my tithies with a sarong, with a slit all the way up. I wear that to Fridays with like a lay. You wear like luau lays. And I was like, it's my birthday dinner. And then we went to the Smarna Pool when I walked in and like just really hand it up for the surprise.

My parents didn't know for years. And I told them like one night drinking on a family vacation, you know, years later. Like, by the way, I knew about the party. And my mom was like so upset. But I, I handed up. I really made them think it was a surprise and thank them so much. And one funny thing, I don't know why we're talking about this, but I think it's a funny story that happened at that. have my birthday with my boyfriend.

We had gotten in a huge fight like the week before. It was crazy. We were kind of like on the rocks and I was like, I just hope he comes through for my birthday. And I remember someone saying that they had seen him

the day before my birthday party in the mall, in the Dover Mall, and he was in Zales. And they were like, girl, I think he's getting you like a diamond. Like not a ring, but like, girl, he was in sales. Why?

Zales was, I mean... Why does every mall have a Zales? Don't for a mall. I don't think that Zales is even there. And I was like, oh my God, I cannot believe he's going to get me jewelry. Like, Zales was it back then. I know. As was T.J. I know you were getting that heart-shaped necklace.

Bitch, how did you know? Every guy went to Zales in high school, bought hard cheap jewelry for their girl. So when we were at the birthday party, he was like, obviously he came, like, we talked it out. He came to dinner. We made up. We were fine. you know, we were like 18 and 19 years old. Everything was cool.

And he pulled me aside at like into like a little area, the basketball court at the pool. And he was like, can you sit down? I legit had this feeling for a second. He was this motherfucker was going to propose. Like he did kind of, he did like kind of kneel down. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

And he opened up the box with the heart shaped diamond neck. I knew it. I knew it was a heart shaped diamond neckles. I fucking knew it. It's always, it's never not a heart shaped diamond. Okay, let me ask you this. Do you think that the following week, I went into Zales

to see how much it cost. Because I did. Well, okay, guys, this was like, it was $250. Before the internet. I was going to say, like, you would to physically do work. You had to go to Zales to figure out how much it was. It wasn't even on the internet. That's a lot.

Oh, that's a, that's a fuck ton. Yeah. It was real like, it was like maybe, you know, a half a carrot total of all the like little, I mean, it wasn't CZs. I still have the charm. Also, I know that you don't like surprises. And here's why I do like them. Here's why I would, I know that you would not enjoy surprises because the whole time you would be sitting there thinking,

why didn't you include me? Because I would have done this better. No. That's what your birthday was. Yeah, you're like, I would have done the guest list better. That's, okay. That and I just think I... You're a perfectionist.

I am a perfectionist. I am a control freak. so I think that's why people don't want to throw a surprise parties for me. But people have really, in my life, come through on some really cool surprises. Like for my 30th, Kate, we had this big party in Atlanta and Kate, like, made this video with all my friends. It was like the most incredible surprise. They were all lip singing last Friday night by Katie Perry. It was like really special.

And they showed it to me at the party and I was crying. And so stuff like that. But yeah, I get, I just get worried that you'll forget somebody and then you're there at your birthday and somebody's not there. And then they're not at your birthday. Yep. You would have thought of details. Other people did it. But I do like surprises.

one of my favorites was I surprised Corey, my other best friend, Corey, on her engagement. And it was like a whole to do. Like, the engagement was a surprise, but I was talking to her now husband the whole time. It was at the Starboard. And then like, I showed up there. I mean, she didn't know what hit her. They like pushed me out into the circle right after she said yes. I was like, Ashley's here.

And I was like, this isn't about me. Can she hug her mom first? I felt really weird about it. She didn't know what was going on. She was all fucked up. I love an engagement surprise, though. Like, when friends come. Yeah.

Like, if somebody ever proposes to me again, for my next proposal. I want like, listen, I want to be quote unquote surprised by the fact that everybody I know is there. That's like the fun. Like I think the fun thing, I don't know what we're talking about this, fun things about like marriage and weddings and all that is that like you just get to share these special moments with other people.

So like I love that. When I got engaged, he surprised me. I was at a business meeting and we were the only people with this disgusting, shitty bar. And like, that was it. I was like, or is my mom going to come out? Yeah. Speaking of my mom, she wants everybody to know.

she did not tell me I looked bad last week. Oh my God. Did she hear the podcast? First, I was like, you listen to the podcast? Who knew? I mentioned last week, I was in my mom's house last week. She said that I looked bad. And she was like, you looked distraught, Raina.

You looked depressed and like you'd been crying. My mom is not one of those, like, terrible moms. It's like, are you going to wear that? You know? Oh, she meant like you look like you're in a bad place. Yes. Okay. She was like, I just, you know, I would never say that.

I would never comment on your looks. I'm like, I know. My most therapist. She would never tell me I look terrible. She would just rip me down emotionally. She was like, Rainey, you look like you've aged 10 years. Are you okay? I know. Like, yeah, I've been crying a lot lately. Speaking of my mom, though, and birthdays, my birthdays is this week. It's in two days. June 17th. Shout out to my Gemini girlfriends. Most of my favorite people are Gemini's.

I just, I don't really believe in astrology, but it is pretty like interesting to me that all my friends that I like love so much besides you. Yeah. Thanks for saying that. I have a lot of Geminii friends too. We're the best. Like close friends. I don't really know too many. I don't even know if I know a bad one. And that's, you know, you find, you like really like somebody. Like, I'll give an example, Julia from Francis's co-host on the Oops podcast. You guys check it out. We love it so much. He, when he said it was his birthday or I saw it was his birthday on Instagram, I was like, knew you had Gemini vibes. You know, you like, we love him so much. And that's what I was like, I should have known. Because he's so funny with like, you really don't know him to get to know.

you think he's kind of like quiet and then he has these insane stories and he doesn't even act like they're going to be insane he says him like totally just well if you guys want to check it out oops the podcast not julio is his Instagram account yeah um so yeah i've really gotten around this week when visited my family um yes i'm glad you mentioned i did give your family a heads up that i was going to come here you got asked first i asked matt first asked your brother yeah if your parents would mind me asking them i went through all channels oh my god like you were proposing You asked Matt and then you asked my parents for my hand. I went through every channel.

I did a seance. I asked your grandparents. You asked my ex-boyfriend that bought me the sales necklace. And then I wrote it out asking mom if it was okay and I waited you. I waited until you and I were on an important business call to text your mom because I knew that maybe you were next to her and her cell phone. You'd see my name come up and then you'd know. Yeah. You got to be sneaky with this stuff.

have a plan. But in general, I do love a surprise if someone can pull it off and exactly how I like it. And it fits into my life exactly perfectly. And I mean, I knew that like you were doing it. But I've gotten around. I went to D.C. in between Pittsburgh and Delaware. I went and stayed with my ex who lives there for a couple days. What are you laughing about? It's just weird. What do you mean? What am I laughing about? That's a crazy. I went and stayed with my ex. stayed with my ex. So casual. It's four hours from Pittsburgh and I was like, I just got to go do something and look at a hot man. So yeah, I went down there for two days. It's starting to open up in D.C. So we went to restaurants. We got to go out to restaurants, which I haven't done. So crazy.

Somebody, we went to this place, Ottoman Empire in D.C. It's by his apartment. And they dropped to the food and I burst into tears at the table. Oh, my God. He's not like a really sweet, empathetic guy. I mean, he's a nice person, but he's not like a hug you while you cry at the table kind of guy. I can't imagine him. So I was sobbing in public over the hummus. He was just like, yeah, this is kind of weird. You're the whitest white girl I've ever seen. Tears over hummus. My first hummus in a restaurant. I couldn't keep it together. It's just, it was a lot for me with my first, it was my first restaurant in so long. And so I went there. But, okay, I want to tell you guys this story because I don't ever get embarrassed. Nothing embarrasses me. I don't care. No one takes a joke better than I do. I just don't care.

You can make fun of me all day long. But I had one of the most embarrassing moments last night. it finally happened. And so... 2020. Humiliation. I went down there. I'm on my period. I had thrown a tampon

out in the trash. I wrapped it up really well. The hot pink wrapper and the tampon. You're not a fletcher? I was worried. I'm usually a flasher, but if I'm at like an apartment, I'm not sure if it'll go down. I'm worried.

And also the trash can because he's a man was filled with so much stuff. I was just like I'll stick it at the bottom. Right. Never notice. and, you know, it went out about my life. And he has a dog. It's usually pretty chill.

It's an Alaskan clique. I think I'm saying that right. It's cute. Anyways, we came back from dinner last night, and I'm, like, standing in the kitchen. I'm ferociously texting you about something. And he's like, oh, god damn it. He's like, look at this. And I was like, what?

And I like, don't even look up. And then I like, keep texting you. And he's like, look at this. And I, like, I go, what? And I, like, screamed at him. I was, like, really agitated. He, like, kept trying to get my attention. because like my tampon was in the middle of the living room.

Oh my God. The hot pink wrapper. Oh my God. The dog had pulled it out. This little fucking asshole. And then I was like kind of drunk and I just didn't acknowledge it. I didn't offer to pick it up. I didn't do anything.

What? I just went back to texting you. I just never talked about it again. I never brought it up. He like, he put it on the top of the trash. Like the hot pink wrapper was on the top of the trash. Like it just lived there.

My shame lived at the top. the trash for the rest of the time I was there. Oh my God. You just didn't say anything. You were like, I'm busy texting. I literally, I just didn't say anything. He was dead sober. I was like three glasses deep. Oh my God. I barely. I was drunk. Whatever. So yeah, I was pretty humiliated. That happened. That is a tale as old as time. A dog in a tampon situation. I mean, we, you know, we crowdsourced so many funny, embarrassing scenarios from you guys. And there's so many of those in our emails of the dogs, tampons, vibrators. I mean, we've read one of those on an episode of the dog went and got the vibrators out. I mean, never been so sure I didn't want to have an animal in my life.

These dogs cannot be trusted. I did, okay, I did find out one more thing about myself. I have to tell you. This dog is very chill. It needs like almost no attention. It's like quiet. It doesn't, there's no smell. Like, he doesn't beg or anything. He's just like a chill animal. It's a designer dog. It's like, whatever. You like. No, I'm just saying like, you guys know how I feel always adopt. Don't shop. You know, no shade. But yeah, it's like been brett. It's like a perfect little dog. Yeah. I mean, it's a perfect dog. So I'm telling Jeremy, our friend Jeremy, I'm about this dog. I'm like, it doesn't do anything. It doesn't move. It's like not annoying. It doesn't smell on. Jeremy. It's like, it's a cat. You like cats. Like maybe you should get a cat. And then I was like, oh my God. Like, am I a cat person? It like hit me. Like, I think so. But then I started thinking like, I can't tell anybody that I'm a cat person. Like, I'm a cat person. Like, like, I'm a cat person. Like, I'm a cat person. Like, like, I'm a cat person. Like, like, I'm a cat person. Like, like, I'm a How do I tell people I'm a cat person? And so I was like talking to Jeremy about what I should get. And he suggested a man coon.

Maine coon. Maine coon, is how I say it? They're like your size. I decided I like them because recently when I was a Bobby Flay's house, I met his main coon. That's not even a humble brag. I was a Bobby Flay's house with Bobby Flea. And he is two of them.

And I do love them. They're a great cat. But Jeremy said I can tell people I'm a mini lion person, not a cat person. They are. They're like mini lions. Here's the thing about cats. I put this on Instagram.

Instagram before. I've talked to people about it. It's fucking weird to say you hate cats. Like, if you hate, I get that there's shitty cats out there. We have one in this house right now. I can't stand him. I like, he's really a devil and he's attacked me in multiple instances. Like, I don't like him. He has his moment, but we also have another cat in this house that I love. Like, if you just hate a whole type of animal, I don't really think you can call yourself an animal person. Like the whole like cats, I hate cats. Oh my God, sad cat lady. It's just played out and tired. And I get that maybe you like, you, like, you prefer dogs, but I'm just over the I hate cats mentality. Then you're not an animal lover. Shut up. I do hate some cats. Some of them are the fucking worst. Like the cats. I also hate some

men and you know what I fucking love men. Right. That's the thing. Like this whole I, you, and we talked about this with Richie and Lisa on our pet episode. If you've had a terrible situation and you're traumatized, that's one thing. But just in general, to hate a whole type of animal is weird to me. I think I love that like Hannah Burner and Heather McMahon and people like that have like made cats cool. because they're cool. I don't hate cats. I'm scared of cats. I just don't know what they're going to do to May. But apparently I'm a cat person. I think you are. I didn't know until this week, but guys, I'm coming out. I'm admitting it. A lot has happened this week. I've been all over the country. I'm going to die if you have one of those giant ass cats. They're huge.

Main coots. Yeah. They're beautiful. Oh, they're so beautiful. We'll do a bonus episode about why I was at Bobby Flays house. No, my friend Jeremy is friendly with him. That's why. But yeah. Sorry, we just glossed right over that. But yeah, he's a big cat guy, big cat energy. I have no problem with cats. Can't say it enough. I mean, some cats again.

Again, problem with some guys. I love guys. Like, we have a cat here. My mom rescued him recently, and he is the sweetest, cutest, cutest cat. And he doesn't even like to cuddle, and I'm always trying to cuddle with him. I just love him so much. She's so soft and fluffy and cute. And I'll always, like, send Hannah videos of him.

And I'm like, reply back with your cat content. And we've been doing this, like, the whole quarantine. because she has all those kittens. Oh, I'm loving her cat content. The kittens are the cutest thing on earth. Yeah, if you look at someone like her or wherever you get your kitten content and you're like, I don't like it. Who are you?

It's the cutest thing you've ever seen. They're literally like hugging and spooning in their little cat tree. I can't get enough of it. She is my like friend that made like in cats cool. She wears her cat's name on like a gold nameplate necklace around her neck. Because butter. But anyway, we didn't know we were going to go on that road. but I'm a cat person.

We have to be down that road now. Raina, I don't know if I'd say that because now people are going to hold you accountable to get a cat. Like you said you were going to get a dog. I'm just not a pet person. Like I realize even like this week being at his place like I'm in the amount of time. Like you have to love an animal. You should take it out and give it attention, play with it and feed it and walk it four times a day.

And like I don't want to be bothered. Yeah. I think that's how I feel. It's like I love animals. But like I probably feel about animals the way I feel about children. Like I want to play with it. Give it back. I would fuck with a fish.

My nephew has a fish. I fuck with fish. Big fish, girl. Big fish energy. Big fish is a great restaurant in Delaware, by the way. I want to do a person in the week, and then we can get into our topic for today. Yes, I'm glad you picked this person this week. Yeah.

This is not like a hot take. Most people know who she is, Stacey Abrams, but I am choosing her because of what happened recently with the Georgia primary. So if you don't, if you're not familiar with Stacey Abrams, she is a policy. politician, activist. She was in the, God, this word, guber-nitorial, governor election. B-govern-torial, right?

Uber-natorial election. Goober. Okay. Do not add me on this. What do you write on your- No. N-O-N-O-R-N-A-L-R-N-A-L. But is there a B?

No, Goober. It's like Uber. Goober. Goober. It's like the candy? Yeah. Uber-A-R-N-A-T-O-R-I-A-L. I mean, I don't know why I'm even challenging on this.

I'm always wrong about this stuff. Goober. Like Uber. Right? Guberatorial related to the state government or the office of the government. Yeah. Goober. Goober.

Stop. Okay. So she ran for governor against Brian Kemp in 2018. I do like to use the word rigged to talk about that election. Feel free to give it a Google if you weren't familiar, but it was. It was national news. tons of voter suppression, a fucking mess with the absentee ballads. And Brian Kemp won.

The control that he had over parts of that election felt very illegal to me. But, you know, we don't need to dive too deeply into it. She obviously did not win. He won. And she started an organization called Fair Fight to work on fair elections in Georgia and beyond. And I've donated to it in the past couple weeks. We encourage you guys to donate if you want to. Fairfight.com.

and they had Georgia had their primary last week, and it was a fucking mess again. Four hour waits in the heat, in the rain in some places with people's children to vote in the primary. There was all these things going wrong with the voting machines and, you know, they were in areas that were, that had more minorities. I mean, it's like voter suppression. Again, it's a fucking disaster. If you even go on Twitter or whatever and just type in Georgia voting, you'll see like

everybody going crazy about it because it was such a fucking mess. Like, it's unconstitutional. And it wasn't just Georgia. I saw the same type of thing in D.C. and some other places, you should never have to wait for four hours to vote. Like, and that's, this is the primary. Like, to think of what could happen in November is really, really upsetting. It's really upsetting. And I know, I had friends voting. You guys know I have so many friends in Atlanta that were, that were waiting in those lines. And it's, it just, I hate it. Stacey Abrams is trying to fight against this. I will also go on record and say I would love to see her as the VP pick and check out Fair Fight for more information. And of course, just follow her on Instagram, all the things.

I just can't say enough good things. So Stacey Abrams is our pick of the week. Grace and Becca, our friends over at Bad on Paper podcast, had her on an episode as well. So fucking flex on their part. But you can check that out too. Yeah. So you're up next week. We're going to alternate.

Let's get into our topic today. Today we are talking about differences in people that are dating in a relationship. So whether that means you have totally different hobbies and interests, you have different values, we're going to kind of talk about it all. Not so much like who you are as a person, like personality types, opposites attract type stuff. I think that can be a different episode entirely. But this is more kind of like what you like, what you stand for, what you like to do,

how you live your life and can people that are so vastly different work as a partnership. Yep. And we'll talk about some more topical stuff. Like if you're a foodie and they're not, all the way into like lifestyle choices and stuff that's a little bit deeper. And, you know, people, people say like, I have nothing in common with my partner. Can I be with them? And I think it depends on what that thing is and how much it affects their day to day life. So unpack those things. Let's start with maybe the easier stuff and go into the heavier. stuff? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So, if just on a baseline, I think you had an interesting, like, distinction. Like, if you're, if you're, if you're different hobbies than your friend,

than your partner, like, I don't know, some people really like car shows. I want to go to car shows every weekend. Can I date that person? And you were talking about a distinction between something you like and something you're obsessed with. Yeah, and I just have so many thoughts on this. You know, I look at my parents, uh, who, again, of a different generation, but the, the the thing I've always admired about them is that they have so many different hobbies and interests. And my dad skis every week in the ski season, he goes on trips with his ski group. My mom does not go. She doesn't ski.

She doesn't go. He knows she doesn't want to go. She's not going to go and just like sit and read a book. Like he doesn't ask her to. And my mom has so many things. She has her bridge club. She's her book club. She's her craft club.

She has so many things going on. They have so many different interests. And I think that's what makes them work is after 40 years, they still have stuff to talk about. They still, they still challenge each other. They still have different things. that happened in their day that they can come together over dinner at night and discuss. And they both love to travel and they take trips together. So they come together over that. They have a lot of other interests too that align. Obviously, you know, our family being, being one of it, being one of them.

But I've always looked to them for that. And I dated some guys that just they didn't, they did stuff that I didn't really, I wasn't really into. And I feel like they thought that was a red flag. And I didn't because I was like, this is how my parents are. This is kind of what I've always thought was okay, that we don't like all the same things, that you're going to go to your climbing gym, and I'm never going to go. You know, like, I just, that was like an example,

but it's whether it's hobbies and interests that don't take up your whole life and if it's your whole life. Right. Is it a core value of how you're going to live your life? So, like, we talked about, like, being an outdoorsy person is something that comes to mind for me

because, like, it's just not what I'm like. I don't like to spend all of my vacations and hobbies outdoors. It's not for me. There are some people that, like, they live to climb and go camping and they want all of their vacations to be in Wyoming. This is not just a vacation, but this is how you spend your weekends. This is who you're friends with. If it's your core value, then I'm probably not your girl.

Like you probably don't want to be with me. And I don't mind at all. Couldn't care less if my partner wants to do stuff on the weekends without me or, you know, nights, holidays, whatever. Like I think the people should do whatever they want. I don't have to be with them all the time. And maybe I'll learn something from them. And maybe I will, like somebody that I was dating really liked camping.

And he said like, fucking in hammocks is fun. And all of you guys let me know, the camping and bucking and hammocks is fun. Yeah. I might learn to like something, but I also think it's nice to have a partner like your parents that you'll just let them run free as long as it's not an all the time every minute. Cornerstone of my life. This is who I am always. Yeah.

And I think of somebody like my cousin, Lindsay and Buck, her husband. and man, I will say this. Lindsay, fuck, fucks. She was not an outdoorsy girl. Like she, you know, is really kind of like you. And, you know, she met this guy and they camp all the time. They have a fucking camper. Like, and she likes it.

This isn't her doing things she's not into. Like she developed a passion for the same type of things. And it really works for them. That might not be your. story, in which case that might not be your person. I think that somebody that really is like, I want to spend every weekend hiking, camping, all these things. I don't know that you're my person and I love some of that shit, but just not every weekend, not all the time. So if someone really wants to live that more camping nomadic type of life, it's not so what I'm into. And I think it defines

kind of who you are as a person. And this is zero shade. I have so many friends that have husbands like that. It's not who I think I am and who I think I'm going to be at this age. And I think that I'm super, I'm open to learning and growing. I think one of the best things about relationships that does expose you to other things, other ways of thinking, other friends, other hobbies. I would love to meet somebody who's just as passionate about their job as I am about my job and we can teach each other and learn. I just need somebody that there's like a willingness to grow together. But I think it's also fine to be like, we don't like any of the same stuff. We'll talk more about like lifestyle later. But like, if we don't like any of the same stuff, that's okay.

Maybe you're just not my person. I think it's like okay to be like, oh, we don't like any of the same stuff. Right. Like we don't want to live our life in the same way. I think is what it boils town to. And the guy that I dated that was the climber that was like, I want you to go skiing. And first of all, I dated him. I didn't have dated him. I didn't have any money to go on a ski trip at the time that he invited me. I think I probably would have gone if I had the money. And he was like wanting me to go to the climbing gym and like it just, I think we both realized that we just weren't a match. And, you know, because people always marry the next person after me, if he did marry a girl that he dated after me, I saw it on Facebook and like it looks like from the looks of it. I haven't looked,

I haven't looked since we dated, which was 10 years ago at this point. But like, that was the girl for him. She was into all that shit, you know? And I think about an ex of mine that was just so obsessed with sports and football and it's his entire life in terms of his work and work and play and hobbies and all that stuff. And we broke up for other reasons, but looking back, like, I was just never going to be the girl to revolve my whole life around that too with him and take our vacations around sports and things like that. And again, this is not the core reason we broke up, but I do, he's with somebody that is going to do that way more. And it's his whole life.

And I mean, to me, it bordered on obsession a little bit, which is something I also don't want. You know, like, I don't want this thing that you're really into to affect our life in such a way that, like, we can't take this vacation or go to a friend's wedding. This is something that happened because there's a football game on that day. You know, like that, I don't want that either. Like, I don't have anything like that in my life that I have to do,

that I can't stray from. I like to live my life in a little more fluid, spontaneous way. And I don't think somebody like that would work either where like you're so obsessed with this thing that it's going to affect what we want to do as a couple. Well, that's deeper to me than a hobby. Like there's hobby choices and there's lifestyle choices.

Hobbies are like you like toy trains. You like Legos. You just want to fuck with Legos all the time. That's fine. But like when it borders on a lifestyle, it's different from you. Like I think they're like diet and exercise are lifestyle. and like this the regimented stuff you were talking about if I met somebody that was like got to get up at 6 a.m. every morning, then we have egg whites for breakfast and like all of our trips revolve around this and every decision we make and our social life revolves around this. Again, I'm probably not that person for them. But conversely, like my lifestyle is that all my money and time, you know, before this went into food and travel. That's what's important. That's what I value. And every single thing I plan, whether it's my weekends, my friends, evenings, trips, everything is planned around the type of travel I like to do and the type of food. I like to. I like to.

to eat. And if I'm with somebody that doesn't like those things, it'll never work out. It just won't. Yeah. Ever. Like, if I dated this guy and he was like, or I want to deal with this guy. And he said to me, why would I go to Italy? I could just Google Italy. And that is an extreme example of somebody. I dated somebody else that was like, I only like beach vacations at all inclusive resorts. He was like, that's what I want to spend my money on. I work all day long. I work hard. I don't want to do these like kind of trips that I like were like, I went to South Asia for three weeks. and like, you know, killed myself in the heat to go to every temple and every street market. And I wanted to immerse myself in the culture.

And I think that like if the person you're with isn't even willing to try that from day one, they're just like, I don't like this. I won't do this. That is not my person. Yeah. And I love that you brought this up because let's say your thing is food and travel. Like you just said, it's not an obsession. It's what you like to do.

It is a lifestyle, but it's not an obsession. You know, you're not like, I have to do this thing at this time. And if I don't, the, like it's not. it's a healthy lifestyle and hobbies and interest that you have, food and travel. You're going to be with somebody that likes food and travel. You just are. And I mean, I use this example. I have a guy friend. He is married. His thing is cycling. When the, when the, when the, when the weather allows, he is cycling. Uh, he has, you know, we've done, we've cycled together and, um, he helped me buy my first road bike. And it's his thing. And he,

he never was going to date a girl that didn't like to cycle. And that doesn't mean that day one, she needs to even have a bike. It means that she has to be open to like wanting to do that with him on the weekends because that's his outlet and he works so hard and that's what he wants to do. And again, most girls, he's, uh, have dated have been on board with that. The woman he married, they have, they cycled across France. You know, like they, she's into that stuff. She's into the skiing. He's into the skiing. Like, his life is so dominated by work that the stuff that he gets to do outside of work, his partner kind of needs to be on board with or the relationship won't work. So that's his thing. And that's great. And he found the right person. And like, he wouldn't have

worked with somebody like you. I agree. You know what I mean? Yep. So if you have a thing that's what you choose to do in the time when you're not working and it's what you're passionate about and this person doesn't like it, I don't know that it's going to work, but it could. But I like, I like sort of like the path we're going down. I like you brought up an obsession versus a hobby because like for him, it's like I have a finite amount of time. I maybe have two days a week. This is what I enjoy doing. I want to spend that with my partner. I think it is the disease. desire to want to share something healthy and good and fun with the person that you love. And if they don't ever want to do that, it's never going to be an option, then I think it's

fine. It's not selfish to walk away. Like, if you have, he works so hard. So like to be with somebody that won't do that with him, I think it's great and healthy to have separate hobbies and interests. But if you have such a small amount of time and you're never going to share these things, then what's the point? Yeah, what's the point? And I know another couple that is amazing. all of their core values. And again, we say core values kind of broad today. Don't come for us because essentially core values means stuff more like trust, respect, empathy, compassion, communication, all this stuff. I also think it can encompass lifestyle, what you value in life. Is that family? Is it travel? Is it religion? Whatever it may be. So I know a couple, they're wonderful, beautiful couple that they are just

so aligned and they, all their core values are aligned. And I look up to them. They've helped me through life and they don't really travel together. She likes to do these spiritual retreat type trips. She's come to New York so many times by herself. I mean, Iva, he's never come with her. You know, she travels separately from her husband all the time. And it's totally fine and everybody's fine with it. You know, so it's like, it just is like a balancing thing. Like write it down if you have to, you know, like what parts of my life and my personality and my values does this person share? And what do they not? And if it's literally everything not, then that's not your person.

But there's so many different ways that it work and that it works. And for them, it's that they don't travel together, really. And it's okay. And they trust each other and they support each other's hobbies. But it'd be different if she was like, you have to go with me. You know, like, that's it too. Because we were just talking about this with my mom, because they are my favorite couple to use as an example of couples that have

different interests and hobbies. And we were saying, you know, I asked my mom, growing up, my dad was a race car driver. He was more of a hobby. He wasn't, like, famous. He wasn't a NASCAR driver, but he raised sports cars. And we went on a lot of family vacations.

What I felt like, it was a lot. But looking back, it probably was only like five or six surrounding the track. You know, we were in the Poconos. We would do these things. And like, they weren't my vacation that I would want to go on.

My brother had a great time, but I fucking hated it. But I was like, Mom, like, did you really want to do that? Like, and she was like, not really, but we didn't go that much. You know, like, when you really think about the grand scheme of things,

you remember how much your dad was actually gone at the track and we weren't with him. And I was like, oh, that makes so much sense. So basically she took a thing that she wasn't so thrilled about, but she knew her partner liked and she conceded on it to an extent. I love to listen to your mom talk about it. And I mean, I always love tying your parents about their relationships. But I said to your mom because she said she conceded and I said, but you know, not everyone's like you.

Not everyone would enjoy that. And I think it's totally fine to have rules and deal breakers. And, you know, you make your list, like when I think about my list, of course, I want all the things that everyone wants. I want somebody who's kind and loyal and smart and funny, like the normal stuff. But my number one thing personally, and I was talking to my ex about this last night, was I need somebody who's like a doer. I want somebody who always wants to explore the next thing.

Food festivals, new restaurants, go to a new city, try all this cool stuff. I want somebody to get up early with me on vacations. I want somebody that really is a doer. That's my deal breaker. Like if you are unwilling to do those things, it is a deal breaker for me. So like you talking about your friend that doesn't travel with her husband. Like I think that might be a deal breaker for. for me because I want somebody on that adventure with me. Not every time, but most of the time.

Like travel for me, I think, is a deal breaker because I want to be aligned on the trips that we take. I want you to be excited to try new restaurants. And you don't have to be like a quote-unquote foodie, but I do need you to be willing to try the stuff. And I will teach you. And it'll make you a better person for it. You know, and you can be better for the next person that you probably leave me for now. For the person you marry after me. But like, you know, what to deal. Like, would it be probably like, you know, your friend who likes to cycle? The deal would be that I don't know how to ride a bike and I'm not going to... I said you wouldn't date him and I wasn't even thinking like because you actually can't

ride a bike. I can't. I actually can't ride a bike guys. It's one of my deepest darkest secrets. Don't tell anyone. I just, I can't. That's,

that's it. And it's okay to have those things where you're just like, this is the life I envision. And we talked about this with sex in the city where you like fall in love of people and love isn't always the way that you envision it. And, you know, I will bend in a lot of ways. But there are certain expectations. at my age. I've been working for 20 years. Don't come from me on my age. Okay. I've been working for 20 years. I've been waiting tables since I was really young. I worked my whole life and

I wanted to have a certain type of lifestyle. And if the person that I'm with doesn't want that, that's okay. No hard feeling, but you're not my person. Right. Yeah. 100%. We promised you guys we would break this down into like topical, more like superficial hobbies and then lifestyle stuff. So just to wrap up the like life stuff, the hobby stuff. The ways that you socialize is interesting to me. and I want like your take on this because I think that like I saw this thing on Hinge the other day. Some guy wrote Netflix or Nightclub. And I think that's a really interesting like tell on how somebody is because like do you like to socialize and be groups?

Do you want to go out all the time but just be with your partner? Do you like to go to house parties? Do you want to go to a club? Like the way that somebody socializes is interesting to me. And that'll vary from age to age, I think. Like a lot of us change a lot. But like my brother has like a finite amount of time. And he doesn't.

he's not really dying to go on like group trips and group dinners. And he's like, I don't see my wife that much. I want to be with my wife when I have the free time. Not every partner would love that. Yeah. I mean, they have a great relationship. And they socialize with friends, but you know what I mean? Yeah.

Not everybody wants to be like out in big groups all the time. But like I have friends, like guy friends that are just the center of attention all the time, all the time. Surrounded by a ton of, a ton of people. And if you're going to date that person, you have to be around a ton of people all the time, too. Yeah. And we talked about this kind of a little bit way early on an episode about drinking. Oh my gosh, like first 10 episodes go find it about like your partying styles. And so, but I mean, that was so long

ago that I'm happy to say again, like a guy that really is into that club life is not going to be for me. You know what I mean? Like if you, and there's again, no shade. Like live your truth. Always. But like needs to be at the club. Needs to be having bottles with models and and, and, Diplo. Like it's just not for me. I'll do it. I'll party. I still can get down like one. of quarter, once a year, let's be honest. But like, I just, it's, that's not, it's a lifestyle. And again, if people can say that clubbing isn't a hobby or an interest, but it is, it's something that you're doing in the off hours of your, your work life that you enjoy doing,

you know, you put time and effort into it. If you're, if that's one of your hobbies, it's probably not going to work for me. It's not. I mean, it's not, by the way, when I was 19, it wouldn't work for me. Like, I think these things changed as you get older, but like, I was never like, I go to a club, be with a billion people kind of person. I can have fun doing it, but I don't remember. It might have been like two years ago.

I went on a date with that guy. We talked about us in the podcast. He dragged me to like four different spots. All the worst places. Yeah. All these like really big clubs. And we're with like a million people. Also, I don't enjoy the interaction with somebody that it's just so loud. I can't hear you talk.

Yeah. It's early on in the relationship. I just don't want to socialize like that. It's me and a million people I don't know. And this dude I'm on a date with. And it's super loud. I just, that's not how I choose to socialize ever.

And I had fun. We made out. It was great. Yeah. made out several times since then. But that's like that's what he likes to do. That's his choice of socializing and it's probably just not going to be for me. Well, and we, you know, love pre pre-corona, like my favorite nights in New York or like when, you know, I would host my show at the stand and our friends would come or like going to somebody else's show. Like really I was just immersed

in the comedy scene and it was like what I like to do. I didn't, I'd like it so much more than just like going and staying in a bar and having drinks. Like I kind of realized within the last year or so like I just don't want to do that I want to be doing more and running around and seeing our friends and stuff like that and so I mean I dated somebody that was in that scene too for a minute and it was really great it was like so fun he could hang with everybody like I kind of want a guy that can hang in that scene because that is my social scene and it was becoming even more my social scene before everything shut down it was like the thought of like having a guy that's like doesn't really get it and he can't hang with my comedian friends it's like a little crinious

So it's like I kind of need somebody that's into comedy can hold their own. People think is cool and funny. I mean, of course, I need a guy that's funny that has my sense of humor. That's my number one thing. But like that's kind of my deal breaker. You know what I mean? That like this guy can kind of roll with me and you and be a part of this whole scene. I feel like you just described me.

What is you? Yeah, you're always there. Your brain is always there. When we took the Uber, have fun fucking slam the door. That was the most fun night. I was so, I was dead sober too. It was back when I wasn't drinking. I think that like if I'm listening to this episode, I'm thinking to myself like, well,

maybe my partner and I don't have any of the same hobbies. Like what now? You know, maybe we don't like anything the same. And I think there's nothing wrong the same as hobbies saying go do your own thing. Like if your partner likes to party in clubs and you trust your partner, there's nothing wrong if you want to go up girls nights or you prefer to read a book or watch a documentary or whatever. And you're like, go, how fun. You trust your partner. But is it all the time? Is it every single weekend? Do they never make space for you? Do they never, bring you into this fold. Have you said to them multiple times? I have limited free time. I want to share it with you. Like, are you never with your partner? And is that enough for you? And that's where I would

sort of draw the line mentally and say, like, is this enough for me? How long can I do this? Some people are fiercely independent and are like, I really only need to see somebody twice a week. Like, I'm good. And that's probably great for you. You can let your partner run free the other five days a week. But like, I really like to be with somebody all the time. And I'm pretty independent, but I do want to be with you. I'm a creative person. I want to bounce ideas. is off of you. I want to talk to you about my work and my job and vice versa. And if we're just not aligned on anything, I don't, I don't know how like you're not making any space for me. I just don't see how that could work. Yeah. And some of it is just is actually admitting that to yourself.

You know, I've realized that with multiple guys in my life that I like this person, the sex is good. I'm having fun with them. But that's just, we're not a match for various reasons. A lot of it just being like our lifestyles are so different. And we obviously eventually broke up. Another thing I just want to throw in too is like if I meet somebody that listens to totally different music than me, they watch totally different movies than me, they read different books than me. Like I'm kind of into that. Like I would love to learn from you and what you are passionate about in that type of space. You know what I mean? I think you can have people that have totally different interest in the arts, creative stuff, and really come together and kind of mishmash it together. I mean,

I was dating a guy that this is crazy to even say, but you listen to all classic rock. And I had a classic rock phase. I wasn't chameleaning myself to fit him. He knew that I just listened to rap and hip hop, but like I opened myself up to different world and I remember we were, this is senior year in college, we were driving. And he goes, so, so do you like Boston? And I was like, I've never been.

Like, he met the band. And then I did like, I started to like Boston and I listened to Skinnerd for a minute there. And like, he opened me up to all these different types of music. He made me mix CD. And so you know, and I've, I still can appreciate some of it, but I've had guys recommend books to read that I never would have read, movies to watch. Like, it's really, I like, I like, I like, I think that like the point of a relationship is not to just like jerk off about how similar you are all the time and just like sit in a circle and be like, I think the exact same thing is you all the time. Like, I'm really lucky. I've dated really diverse people that open my eyes up to all kinds of things. I mean, I've changed their lives in better ways than they've changed mine. Let's be honest. But I, you know, I think all the time like could I date somebody that like doesn't understand. entertainment. And I thought, like, I dated somebody who, like, wasn't in that field at all. And, like, I feel like I don't care to discuss, like, the shows you and I have or, like, the decisions you and I made. But, like, I think I realized I just don't care to talk about that with him. Because, like,

I talked to my brother and my dad about that. They don't understand any of the stuff. And I love talking to them about it. And so, like, is this somebody that can help contribute to your life in a positive way? I don't care if somebody that I date knows nothing about comedy. But I want you to learn about it. And I want you to watch comedy shows of me and come to shows. And, like, at least attempt to immerse yourself. And I just, I can't hammer home enough. Like, as long as it's not, like, an obsession. I can probably get into it.

Because I dated that guy on and off all year that was really, like, his whole life was like, every free moment was live music, small live music venues, playing guitar, goes to Burning Man every year. Like, it's a lifestyle. Music and not wearing shoes is his lifestyle. I was like telling one of my other girlfriends about him, she was like, oh, that guy doesn't want to date you. That guy could never date you.

It's my nightmare. these mid-range music venues, it's just, it's not how I spend my free time. I don't know that much about music. I don't love live music. I mean, I'll go to, I'll go watch Beyonce. Yeah, but if you also didn't have a bond otherwise, but like, if you did, it could, the bond just wasn't there, possibly just because the type of person is. I don't really know that I see you meshing with this burning man type of guy in general.

But like, I also think you guys, if you really liked each other, could have somehow made it work. Like, you're pretty flexible. Like you'll go to a concert once a week or whatever. You know, you guys lived close to each other. Like you were able to spend time together. Like, Burning Man isn't every weekend. You know, like had, it might have worked or not because you might have needed more from him. You know, it just depends.

It depends. It depends where the priorities lie. I love that you brought that up. I didn't really even think about that. But like, I mean, obviously I know that like that's not my person. But it's so true. It's like if you really feel like I connect with this person intellectually, emotionally, sexually, sexually, like you will at least make an effort.

And that's the thing, too. We always come back to the gut feeling. women always know, you know, you know. Like, I knew I wasn't going to be with that climber. You know, like, I knew that because I, if I really liked him, if I really, like, loved him, like, I loved another person that I loved, you know, like, I would have gone to the fucking climbing gym. You know, like, with my ex that loves sports, I did the things. I put on the fucking merch. Like, I did, I made, like, the football Saturdays so great.

I mean, a lot of times I was just, like, painting my nails and drinking rosé. But, like, I made sure, even though it wasn't for me that I, catered to him on those days. I did my best. Like, because I loved him. You know, like, I made it. I drew the line of like, oh, this is going to affect our life in like terms of the trips we take. Okay. Now I'm looking at it differently. But in terms of like this, the sad or football Saturdays, I'm here. I'm here. I'm not anti. It's not, it's not how I want to spend my day. But this is the thing you're most passionate about. Sure. I'll fucking do it. Do you mind if I just drink and paint my nails? Well, at least you tried. And then you could at least make the effort. And then you could say I made

the effort. I'm making an educated decision that I can't do this. But like, there's no hobby that's stupid. It just might not be your hobby. Like, I'm not shitting on people that love to work out or they're outdoorsy people. They're just not my hobbies. There's probably a lot of people to be like, okay, all you want to do is cook and walk around temples in Thailand. And that's stupid. And it's like, all right, well, that's what I like to do. You don't have to like to do that stuff. No hobbies and interests are stupid is what I'm getting at. It's like, try it. I'm not shooting on other people's hobbies, but like that I'm probably just not going to be your girl. That's what you want to do. Yeah, well, let's let's dive into the deeper stuff.

Okay. Yeah. So diving into things that aren't just hobbies, but are like deeper lifestyle decisions, how you live your life. Fam, your importance of family, that's huge.

You know, you dated a guy that didn't have a family. It was a little, right? He did it. It was weird. Okay. Family.

Everybody has a family. He has a terrible life growing up. And yes, he did not really have a right. Now you make me look like an asshole. No. Family was not his priority. I do think that like, I know I'm laughing about this. But yes, I sort of saw like 10 paces down the road because at Thanksgiving, he said to me,

let's go to the Bahamas for Thanksgiving. And I said I would never do that because like I want to be with my family. And he was like, what's the difference? Like he'll be with them for Thanksgiving next year. I think that's a rare person that feels like that. And I mean, thank God my dad got himself sent to the hospital. So it like wasn't even a decision I had to go to Texas. Yeah.

your dad really. I think that long time. But that I saw as soon as you said that 10 steps down the road having to constantly justify to this person why family was so important. And yeah, it would have been a problem. I will say he did tell me date one, first date. I don't, I don't really want to have kids. And I appreciated that.

I appreciate somebody being open and honest. I don't think you owe somebody that on a first date at all. Yeah. And we're, guys, we have a not wanting kids episode coming. Yes. We don't know when, but we're going to do this episode, not wanting kids. But I appreciated that he said that to me. You don't have to say that first date.

It is your decision when to tell somebody about that. That's really private. But I appreciated he at least was like, here's where my boundaries stand. And I could make a decision about it. Yeah. And I dated a guy briefly that was not close to this family. It didn't sound like there was really any trauma. It was just more so like, I don't know.

I'm not really close to my brothers and sisters. And I, again, I don't know. I didn't get close enough with them to find out if there was trauma. there, but it seemed to me like he was just really kind of detached from his family. It seemed like his brother and sisters, they were close. He just wasn't. He didn't want to visit them. He didn't want to spend holidays with them. And I just think that's kind of who he was as a person. So, but anyway, these core values, family, religion, how you view the world, how you treat people, the kind of life you want to have, you know, structure versus more spontaneity, you know, all these things.

Again, if you Google core values, they aren't this. This is what it is on girls got to eat today. So these are just the things that kind of define you as a person and what relationship experts look for when they match people are these things, you know, family being a love, religion, all these things that we just mentioned. So you can really have a lot of things that are different. And if these align, you can have a really beautiful, healthy relationship. Yes.

And also, we could do a whole episode about each one of these things. I'm sure we will at some point. You can unpack, can I date somebody to a different religion than me? Can I date somebody who feels different politically than me? Like, when we can unpack all those individual, usually because those are really deep. But for me, it's like, do I want the same type of life as you? Am I satisfied with the same kind of thing? You know, there's like that concept of like maximizers and satisfiers and what you guys can Google it. But it's, you know, it's just about like,

are you happy with the status quo? Are you always pushing for more? Do you want to live a certain type of life and do I want to live a certain same life as you? And those are core values. And I think as you get older, you got to talk about those things because you're more likely to marry the person you're with when you're like 27, 28. Like you've got to have those conversations. How do you feel about money? Yeah. I really. I really. with a guy that I dated that I, we dated off and on for so many years. I've talked about him a lot of times and I realized we just did not want to live the same type of life. I think sometimes when you really like somebody and you connect with them or you even love them, you just think that they want

the same thing as you. It's a very weird thing. Like you're like, well, we're the same. We love each other. We're going to make it work. You know, and I always had this thing of like, well, if I want to move to New York one day, he'll just come. Like, no, he wasn't. You know what I mean? And it's just like, you have to sometimes reflect like, I love this person. I feel like we want the same things. But do we really? And I remember one thing he said to me one time. He was like, you know, would you ever, I lived in Atlanta at the time. He was like, would you ever want to live in like Raleigh or Asheville? And I was like, no.

Like, no shade to those cities. The only place I'm moving is to a bigger city. Like Atlanta's too small for me. I'm moving to New York or L.A. That's it. And that's where I'm going to be. And it's probably going to be New York. And I realized then like he wants a simpler life.

I am going to live in New York City and do this thing. And he, it's his night. And it was like the writing was on the wall. I got this feeling that like his idea of happiness was him and his wife like, you know, sitting on the front porch, sipping sweet tea. I mean, that's a beautiful image. Don't get me wrong. And I can appreciate that as well. But it was like living just a little bit simpler life. And I realize that. And I think, you know, we, we broke up probably, you know, shortly thereafter. I think this is, I want to give credit to people because I think these are some of the hardest conversations to have and the hardest, the hardest things that will make you walk away.

because you're like, I like this person. They make me feel good. They support me. We laugh at the same stuff. But like that guy in the fall, like he broke up with me. And he forced me to like look in the mirror. And he was like, we don't want any of the same things. Like I want to live in a small town.

I don't care about making that much money. I don't. I just want the status quo. I want to live in a smaller town away from things. Like he would live in Jackson Hole Wyoming for the rest of his life. That's what he likes. He wants to be outdoors. We don't have the same attitudes about money or family.

And I was just like, la-da-da, you know, the sex is good. We have fun together. He's cool. We enjoy each other. But like that is not what makes a good relationship. And like he forced me to hold up the mirror and see those things. And it hurt and it was sad. But I'm glad that he did it sooner rather than later because he said to me like, what's the day?

Like I'm just going to keep coming to come to New York. We're going to fall in love with each other. And then what? And then we have this conversation more months down the road. I'm in love with you. And then I have to continuously tell you like I'm never going to live in a city like this, ever. I'm never, ever going to do it. Yeah.

And guys, we love, I love Raleigh, I love Ashfield, love Jackson Hole. This is no shade. Oh, that's just, yeah. Yeah, so New York is where I live. It's where I want to live. It's where I've known I was going to live since I was 10 years old. I'm not like stubborn and crazy. But like, I thought that I could fall in love with this person.

I really enjoyed him. And I just, it would have been a terrible disaster because that relationship was not working out. Yeah. And asking someone what their vision of success is. Like, ask them where they see themselves in five years, where they see them, see themselves in 10 years. I also dated somebody that I saw a future with and I realized that his picture of success was different than mine. Like I thought we were on a similar trajectory and I kind of realized that like I want to be the top. I just never want to stop. I want to keep going and going

and going and obtaining more success, money, whatever it is and just being driven, I guess. And I just think he was like, I'll be fine when I'm doing something I like and it can pay the bills. Again, live your truth, no shade, his vision of success and having quote unquote made it was so different than mine. And that was like a little bit of a hard pill to swallow because it was like I thought this person, I thought we were the same, which is just a little bit naive too. Well, that could also be attitudes about how much you want to work. Like some people are like, I want to make enough money to be comfortable, but I'm not trying to be out here running a company. I don't want to be answering emails at 10 p.m. I'm not interested in it. I don't want to do it.

And some men or women are like, I don't want a partner that's doing that either. Like, not everybody's going to, it's not like I'm like, I just stay up all night and every night and all I do is work. And it's like, you and I take plenty of days off. But you and I also has plenty of days where it's at midnight and we're still working. And like, not everybody wants that from their partner. Some people are just like, enough. Enough is enough. Like, let's relax and enjoy this. I think I enjoy my life plenty. But not everyone wants a woman that's going to work that many hours. And that is a, that's a lifestyle too. And that's what I'm committed to. And maybe someday I'll stop. But that's how.

I am. And like conversely though, I don't know that I'd want to date somebody that worked seven days a week, travel all the time. I was never around them. I would have a hard time doing that too. So yeah, it's not fair to say it, but like maybe I have an easier time accepting that it goes for me and it doesn't go for my partner. But because I am so busy, I think I need my partner to be a little more flexible. Yeah. So like if my partner was also busy 24 hours a day and traveling, we just would never see each other. Yeah. Yeah. But also some people would be okay with that. Like it's just, this is so personal. to everybody. And at the end of the day, it's like sitting down and thinking about your needs,

if they're being met, what is it that this person isn't giving you? Are they going to, quote, unquote, change? Or is this just who they are and how they're going to live their life and assessing the situation from there? I just think it can be tough, especially if you're still in the honeymoon phase, still in the endorphins phase. And you're just like, we can make it work no matter what. No, you can't. Not all the time. Sometimes you get, I mean, also it's just like, I don't know, like this whole love conquers all. Sometimes, sure.

But sometimes do you really want to go through so much hardship when you knew month six that you guys really wanted to live a vastly different life? Well, like, when my fiance left me, he told me that he like was trying to be this person that I expected him to be, which by the way, I didn't know I was putting that on him. But he said to me and it was so hurtful, he was like, I keep trying all these things. be the person that you deserve to be with and I'm failing. And like I wouldn't have tried any of this stuff if I wasn't trying to be better for you. And I failed and now I hate myself and like that's your fault.

Right. And like it was such a horrible thing to hear. And I don't think he really feels like that years later. Whatever, he sort of walked it back at this point. But there was nothing wrong with me for pushing my partner and there was nothing wrong with him for saying, I don't think I want this. I don't want to like, I don't want a nine to five. I want to be a bartender.

I want to be out at night. I want a more like flexible life. that's what he wanted. That was not in line with my life. I had a 9 to 5. We never saw each other. It was just a very different lifestyle. It was just never going to work.

And, you know, that sucked. I mean, he left me and that was really terrible. But I don't know, the opposite is that you keep staying together. You get married. I don't know. Right. Yeah. I don't know that it ever would have worked out because we wanted fundamentally different things.

And I see his life now. And he has the life that I think he wanted. And I'm happy for him. I didn't fit into it. And vice versa. I know, I feel the same way, looking back at my more serious X, where I was like, oh, we were never going to, like, move to New York and conquer the world together. That was never on his agenda.

Like, you know, it felt like it probably in, you know, moments where we were really solid. But it just, you know, you look back and you're like, oh, I was, we were never it. So I want to just talk a little bit about values in terms of, you know, how you see the world, including racism and politics because of the climate that we're in right now and because we've gotten some messages about it. Okay. Race and politics, like we said, I think we could unpack these for a whole episode and we will.

But I think the starting point for me in terms of like, can I date somebody that has like different views? Like how much do these views and differences between what we have like inform the way my partner interacts with the world? So like, is this somebody who maybe just thinks differently about politics a little bit than me? And I can discuss this with them and they're open to sitting down and watching certain things it might change their mind with me and having like an open dialogue or is this somebody that's

just like, these are my views. I don't care to be educated. This is where I come from, which is fine. You're certainly you're welcome to feel like that. And we say race and politics because racial equality shouldn't be political. So these are two different things. Like you know what I mean? Just so everybody's clear. Like I think of like what's happening now, the Black Lives Matter movement is not political to me, just so we're clear. That's why we have the and in there. You know, like, to me, it's just, I just can't say that enough. You know, like, why is being anti-racist a political movement it shouldn't be? So I think we're just trying to kind of touch on these things broadly. And when I say how do they feel about race, I mean, like, do they, is this a person

feels like everyone deserves the same civil rights? Yes. Civil rights, human rights. Right. And again, in this climate, we're in understanding what it's like to be anti-racist and understanding that this whole country was born on a racist system. So we've gotten messages from you guys about my partner, my boyfriend, you know, the few messages I've gotten personally have been, you know, I'm seeing this guy. One was a little more offensive in terms of my boyfriend's posting All Lives Matter type of things. I don't know. It's like, is this person even open-minded enough to sit down and watch the 13th, for example, you know, or are they just staunchly set in their ways and their beliefs? I couldn't date that person, obviously. I'm not,

I'm not saying for you to break up with them. I just think that like, is this a person that is so close-minded and stuck in these really prejudiced beliefs that they're not even willing to really understand? Then yeah, I don't, if you, if you aren't that type of person, then you probably can't be with that type of person. And then I had another message from a girl. And we actually talked it out. She caught me on a good day. I was taking DMs. And she said, I am so, you know, upset and heartbroken and I want to do more. And I want to talk about what's happening in our country. And my boyfriend is just not, he's kind of just tired of hearing it. I don't think he was being rude. I think he was just kind of like, I get it. Racism. I get it. You know,

like Black Lives Matter or whatever. And she just felt offended because she was so passionate about it. And I said, I think that you need to tell him that this means a lot to you. And that you're really passionate about it. And clearly this is what the world is rallying around right now. And this is what is on everyone's mind. And it's important to you. And you want to talk about it with your partner. And she said they had to talk and it went great.

And I think I helped her give her the language of like, hey, this person that I love, maybe you're not there yet, person that I'm dating, person that we're having sex, whatever it is, I really like and care about you or I love you. And I want to be able to talk about stuff that I'm passionate about with you. And that doesn't mean all day every day. You know, everybody has their boundaries. like if your partner is like, okay, you know, I'm on you, I'm with you, but I need to take a break from the stuff every once in a while. Maybe you do go talk to your family member or your friend or

something like that. But I think that she felt dismissed by him and was wondering if he just didn't have her same belief system. So it's, it's that to me. And I think that if I'm just going to throw the 13th out there because I watched it recently. And if nothing else, a lot of people don't want to take the hours and hours it takes to read a book. But like if your partner is really not quite understanding what's going on in this country and they won't sit down and watch an hour and 40 minute Netflix documentary with you, you have a problem on your hands because that's someone that's refusing to open their eyes to what's happening in the world. Yeah, I mean, you should ask yourself, is there, is there an ignorance about this stuff? Is there a refusal to talk about this stuff?

Is there a neutrality? You know, I had a conversation with somebody the other day that was also kind of upsetting at somebody that I care about. And he was like, it's not that I don't care about this stuff. It's just like, I don't think about it. And I was like, yeah, because you're a white man. But you're a white man. Like, you need to think about it. And he was like, I don't know, it's just not like my day to day life. And it's like, I just, I found it really appalling. And I don't think this is like a bad person's like a relative term. I think some people would say that does make you a bad person. I don't think it hits core. He hates minorities. But I don't know. It's not my call to make. You know, I just thought I found that to be a very upsetting discussion. And I don't

know how much more I could have kindly expressed that to somebody, implored them to do something, watch the news, just turn on a television program and see what's happening in the world. At the core, your feeling is like, I'm just neutral to this. I can watch this on television. I feel nothing. I'm not implored to learn more. I, you know, none of us should ever think that we're like a finished product. We should all want to learn more. I'm better and more informed than I was two weeks ago. Why would you not want to be? So I don't know if you're, if you're constantly having those discussions with somebody, and then that is sort of like a life. style thing. I don't know that, I don't know where the relationship goes from there.

Yeah. And it boils down to just being open-minded and willing to learn and change and grow. And I obviously couldn't date somebody that didn't want those things. Like, I remember in 2012, this guy was dating that I realized we weren't a match for a lot of reasons, but it was the day Trayvon Martin was killed, was murdered. And I was like so upset and despondent. You know, we all were. It was everything. It was on the news. It was a big story. This wasn't like I, you know, it was a big deal. And I thought everybody knew what was going on. I thought this was what we were all feeling that day. And I remember texting with him and I was like, I'm just really upset, you know, like this is a sad day. I think I said that. This is a sad day. And he said,

what? And I thought, okay, maybe he didn't foresee the news. You know, whatever. This is a different time. We don't all have a smartphone in our hands. But he, and I said, Trayvon Martin was killed, you know, this 17 year old kid. And he was like, yeah, that's sad. Or like, he just was, I don't, I don't, I honestly don't think. It was dismissive. I don't think he said, that's a bummer.

Like, I think he was very like, oh, yeah. Like, it was any other news story. And it clicked with me with like, wait, how are you not like heartbroken, raging? Do you not care? And I just think in that moment, I was like, I don't know if you look at the world the same way as me. That's what it is. That's what it is. You don't look at the world the same way as me. And I think that like, not everybody wakes up and every morning and suddenly knows how to be a civil rights activist. And I don't need you to know the perfect words.

But I do need the person I'm with to have at least an understanding that they don't know enough and I want them to learn about the world. And if you're not willing to do that, I think we're at an impasse. like and I think that that permeates into other places in your life that probably has something to do with who you're friends with. How you were raised. Has something to do with like who your parents are and what you're willing to learn and do and see and grow. And I think we all want a partner at the end of the day that like can learn and grow and that we're aligned with. So I don't know. People will say like can I date somebody that has different hobbies to me? Yeah. My man wants to go to car shows every weekend. Go for it. But like if your core values are just not mine and I can try to kindly explain those things. things to you. If you never are going to see the way I see things and I truly believe in these

things, then we're at an impasse. Yep. I agree. And this, what's happening right now is the world is involved. The streets are packed for two weeks straight plus at this point. Like this isn't some liberal agenda. This is just equality, civil rights, you know, understanding finally, I think it's finally clicking for some people what this country was built on. And these are the facts. The 13th isn't some like, you know, Democrat documentary.

Like, it's the truth. And so if you're unwilling to learn and open your mind and your worldview, you are not going to be for me. And we know so many of you, incredible listeners, are like us in this feeling. And, you know,

it could be time to cut the course. on that. But again, if someone even has a smallest bit of willingness to like, okay, you know what, I can see what's going on in the world. Maybe I am not understanding and maybe I'm ignorant. Like, you can work with that. Yep. And I think that it's really not to be a dead horse, but you can always kindly try it a couple times. And I do think that like it's not going to serve you to get mad and to tell people their decisions are wrong and they're stupid just because they're different than yours. You know, I don't think people love it when I like make them feel like my decisions are the only decisions to make. You know, I think you want to understand where somebody's coming from and try to expose them

to new things. And I think that that's noble and you try to do that first. And I love what you said about giving it a few tries because the first stage of growing, realizing, understanding a lot of things about this country that are really disgusting and dark is denial. So it's like you can really look at somebody that's in denial. They have thought that this, that their world was a certain way, their whole life. And now they're hearing that it's not. And they are. And it's like, it's just pure denial. So I also wouldn't really want to date somebody that was in denial about really like anything. So, but that's what it is.

It's just like, I'm choosing to not believe this because I don't want to and I don't want to believe that my world is different than I thought it was. And that's what you're working with. So yeah, I think that, you know, I think the whole idea of all these things from tiny little hobbies all the way through your core beliefs is like, be patience with people, you know, try to try to teach them. try to give people grace and kindness in a little bit of time. And then, you know, maybe you're at an impasse and you walk away. And that's okay too. I think that the sooner you kind of have these discussions about these really important things in your life, what means the most to you, the better, you know, just get it on the table and get out of the way.

And sometimes realizing you're not the girl for them, they're not the guy for you. I can't ride a bike. I'm not going to do it. All right, guys, we are so excited to bring back. one of our OG classic GGE segments, is this weird? We have not done this in so long. And we had an email folder full of them.

And we were not disappointed. Oh my God. I've been laughing all day. I've just been chuckling to myself in front of Ashley all day long. If you guys are new here, is this weird? Is a game where you write in and tell us behaviors that somebody you're dating or your ex or whoever?

someone you were romantic with pretty much something they did. And the question is, is this weird? Okay. So then we'll answer. Is this weird? This made me laugh. I recently found out a weird trait about my boyfriend. We were going on a camping trip and the conversation about pooping was brought up since we were tent camping with no bathrooms. My boyfriend then begins to tell me my sister and her boyfriend that he only likes to poop completely naked. He doesn't like to be confined while pooping. And if he is somewhere, he needs to poop and kick it naked. He has to at least take one leg out of his pants. So he will take off one shoe and one pant leg in a public restroom to poop.

No. P.S. He did not poop on our entire camping trip. Is this weird? Yeah. Can you imagine he's in a restaurant bathroom and you like, somebody looks at some dudes in there with one shoe on and one pant leg on? Drop in a deuce.

He doesn't like, can you imagine looking under and you're like, wait a minute, this guy just took one shoe off? Wait a minute. Why is there a pant leg on the floor? And then you just, you're like, I'm knocking on the door. I'm like going to see if the person's okay. Like I have never, and women change in the bathroom all the time. I have never looked under a stall and seen one shoe on and one pant leg on. Yeah, it's like knock knocks. Are you good? Yes, it's weird, but it's funny. Yeah, it's weird. I love your truth though. Okay. Hey ladies. I just wanted to start out by saying that my best friend dated a guy who was obsessed with foot jobs and the smell of her rancid feet. Anyways, I think I have her beat. Okay. I have been dating a guy for a few months now and

everything has seemed to be going great. We get along great, like the same shows, have the same sense of humor, blah, blah, blah. Oh wow, this is so topical. Well, it's been about four months and still no sex. That's not the weird part. He had told me that he likes to get to know someone before and be dating for a while before he has sex. Okay, fine, whatever. Finally, I figure it's been long enough and, like, we've shared a lot with each other, so I bring up having sex. He would skirt around the subject every time I brought it up. Yes, I brought it up more than three times, and yes, I realize I was being annoying. Oh, God, this is over text. He sends me back a text saying that he has a phobia of vaginas. Sorry, to laugh. She wrote it in all caps. What in the actual fuck is this weird?

I got to know why. Fobia of vaginas usually means you're gay. That's kind of what being gay is. Right? Every gay man I know doesn't want a vagina near them. I mean, I'm trying to think like what a version somebody can have a vagina.

Like I guess some people don't want to go down on you because some like terrible guys are like, it could smell bad or something. But like being inside of it, it's so warm and nice. I mean, I'm still. my fingers in vaginas. It's nice in there. All right. Well, other people it's not just fine. Guys, we'll talk about that a later date.

We'll deep talk about that. Um, I have nothing. I have no idea what to say. I feel like we need an update on this. What did they have sex? Like, hey girl, what was the next text back? Has he had sex before? Right. We need so much more information. I got to know. I mean, also like this, this guy obviously,

I mean, if you have a phobia of anything, you should I'm not saying everybody should seek therapy, but like, yeah, if he is a heterosexual man and likes women, He should talk to therapist. Yep. Okay, good. I got another sex one for you.

Hey, Raina and Ashley, this has been weighing on me. Last week, I was getting frisky with my boyfriend. I was giving him a super great blowjob when he told me to lick his clit. No. This surprised me, but I tried not to laugh because I've been trying to get him to be more vocal. And it was finally working. No. Anyway, he told me to lick the area between his balls and his butthole.

Isn't that a taint? It's your taint. I went for it, but is it normal to call the at area the clit or is this weird? I mean, it's just anatomically incorrect. It's not, men don't have a clit. Like sometimes I say you've like a clit in your butt, but like that's not, men don't really have a clit in their butt. Lick my clit.

Does he know what a clit is? did he just, or did he just hear this on a porn and was like, I'm going to say that? Like, is he just regurgitating something he heard? I love how sweet she is. She's like, she's like a therapist. She's like, I've been trying to get him to do this and he did it. And I don't want to stifle him. Maybe he doesn't.

This is definitely not a deal breaker. It's hilarious. But this is like a couple glasses of wine deep. Like, hey, babe, just curious. What if he's like so confused? I think he got his words mixed. up. I think he was like, is it a taint? I can't say like my grundle. I'm just going to say clit. Like you think he got a little mixed up in his head. Maybe she just misheard him. Maybe she's

like so deep in his sloppy like dick suck and blowjob. She's just into it. He didn't say Clint. Yeah. Just just talk about it and keep us posted. If you're hearing your email read right now, we need updates. Also, I got to tell you. Like, you know me. You know I would stop the blowjob immediately and start making fun of the person. You know I would pop my head up and just immediately start like a roast battle with that. you imagine like just dying laughing with a dick in your mouth like who has ever just started laughing hysterically with a dick in mouth the last person i gave a blowjob to was not telling jokes while it was happening hey girl please give us more information about this one um okay this is

probably my favorite one she says i have an is this weird about my axe okay so they're broken up so we can make fun of him he wears a decorative knee brace for fashion purposes. He's not injured, but it's resulting in actual knee injury. Photo from our first date. He did have a knee brace on. I asked him what happened to his knee. Nothing.

Brace worn for fashion purposes only. What is the, what's the photo look like? They're like at a concert festival. He has like a graphic tee on. At a fashion brace. Yeah. Okay, I, I'm dying to know, like, who taught him this behavior. Like, I feel like no one just invented this as, like, a fashion move.

Like, he must have seen this summer. Like, who taught him that, like, this is how you, like, bejazzle your knee? Well, okay. Bejazzle word? Sure. Bedazzle. Okay. So I just feel like, you know, there's this whole thing of, like, girls like guys with, like, you know, scars or, like, in your case, that guy that got stabbed.

You were super into that. Like, you know, girls, like, they want to help. Like, it's art. it's our innate nurturing to be like, oh my God, are you hurt? So if you have a knee brace on, then have the story to go with it. Like, if you're trying to get girls with this, like, oh, I'm injured, then why, then where's the injury lie? I can't believe that he admitted it's a fashion brace.

You're right. Like, you can literally make up a thousand stories I wouldn't question. That's the only one I would question. Right. And again, never, don't lie. Like, we're not endorsing line. But it's like, if he was trying to do it. to like create a conversation or get sympathy.

He didn't follow through with the plan. Girl, if you have more photos of his fashion braces, please send them to us. We want to see them. I have another fashion one for you. Also, yes, by the way, to answer that, yes, it is weird. Yep. 100%.

You know we're like, it's not weird. If you like it, live your truth. Nope. Fucking fashion knee brace is weird. Also, he's getting, he's compressing a knee without an injury. She said he's injuring himself. I was like envisioning like is he wearing it on both knees like knee pads? No, just one.

And it was like kind of poking out from under his like cargo shorts in the picture she said. It makes them look tough. Okay, I have a fashion one for you. I hooked up with a guy after a night downtown. I woke up in the morning, went to the bathroom to call my sister to get me out of there. He was still asleep. So I went back into the room and while I tried to find my clothes and sneak out in the meantime, bodysuit, bra, thong, check.

But I could not find my skirt anywhere. I pulled back the covers thinking maybe it was lost in the bed. When I pulled them back, I found out that he was wearing my skirt. I woke him up to get it back and he says to me, not again. What? She'd never met this person before. She writes in all caps, how many times does this happen to this man? And then she followed up with photos of him.

He's like a really like rugged, like sexy hot guy. And the skirt. And the skirt is like like a big. lady's skirt. He didn't accidentally put it on. Like it didn't actually... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, he didn't actually put on like my champion basketball shorts I'm wearing right now because that could happen. It's a flowy,

a-lined women's skirt. Why am I picturing like the 2-2 Ace Ventura wore in the mental institution? Like, why am I picturing him like... Blue 42? I just want to know it what, like the thing that, whatever, cross-dress if you're true, I don't care. The thing that I think is funny is like, at what point in the night

did he like get up and put this on? Like, they clearly fucked. She was naked. she passes out and he gets up, puts her skirt on, gets in bed, and goes to sleep. Right. Like, yeah, like, seriously, if you're into this, like, get it. Get after it. If that's your kink, like, and you both feel comfortable doing it, yeah, he can wear your skirts.

But, like, it's so funny that he was like, not again. I just think I wanted, like, a man. I wish I was like a fly on the wall to watch him get redressed in her skirt in the room. Okay. This next one, we have a text exchange to go with it. She writes, is this weird? Pickle aggression. So they're talking sounds like, oh, they never want to date.

So maybe they met on an app, who knows, whatever. They're texting back and forth, getting to know each other. I guess they're talking about food preferences. The text start with her saying, ha, ha, ha, not a mushroom fan, but my favorite is black olives. Always go for the underdog, L-O-L. He writes, L-O-L, Oives Fall Under the Three Things I Don't Eat Category, Picles, Olives, and Cake.

She goes... All cake. First of all, talking about people you can't date, I couldn't date a guy that doesn't like cake. You know, I love cake. Okay. She writes, I only like black ones, not the green, L-O-L. I also hate pickles. Ha-ha.

Cake, me. I don't hate it, but I'm not a big sweets person. He goes on a rant. I don't just dislike pickles and cake. Don't look at me. I don't just dislike pickles and cake. I load them. Zero of my recipes will include pickles.

I'm against the courtesy pickle at all restaurants and will be vocal about it. It's like my only passion in life to destroy courtesy pickles. Wait, but you have to, let me finish. She said, this, she's after the text, she goes, this ended shortly after this conversation. I was too scared to be at a restaurant with him in case he made a fucking scene about the pickles.

I roll emoji. I will be vocal about it. I wouldn't go to dinner with that guy. Is she dating my mom? I will be vocal. This guy's a Karen. Imagine texting with somebody before you ever went on a date with them and them being like,

if this thing shows up on my plate, I will be vocal about it. How are you going on dates, dude? Also, like, you should try to make yourself appealing to the opposite sex before you make yourself totally unappealing. Like, at least get one date down. Like, at least dick this girl down a little bit before you admit that you are a psycho. Also, by the way, this was probably, we got this pre-COVID. But if anyone has any plans to, I'm sorry, tip anything under 25%, do anything rude to any

server in the service industry after what they have been through the past few months, fuck you. Go fuck your 18% or 25 plus, 30, 50, whatever. They've been through enough. You're going to talk to a server about pickles after they've been unemployed for three months. I really was. Do that on my watch.

I really was like falling all over myself for like the waiters this weekend because I got to go to two restaurants and like, he just like walked up to the table and I was like, thank you for being here. He like brought a water over. I was like, you are so brave. But like, yeah, I really fucking mean that. It was a lot. It was really special for me to be in a restaurant.

Yeah. Okay. This is my last. Is this weird? The vision of this is so funny. Okay. This past summer I was dating a guy who is five years older than me. He was the orientation leader when I first came to college.

So it was already a teacher-student kind of dynamic. Anyways, I was sucking his dick one day. This took a durn. So I had this R.A. in college. Anyway, one time I was sucking his dick. He was kind of standing, but sitting on the side of his bed. I was on my knees old school style. And I got to know there was an old school style of dick sucking.

Okay. In the middle of it, he reached back behind him onto the bed and grabbed his laptop. The next thing I know, he is forcing his screen in my face, showing me a porn hub video at full volume of this girl going down on a guy. He looks me dead in the eyes and says, stop. You're doing it wrong. Do what she's doing. And I was like, what the fuck?

So this was not my first blow job. Pretty sure I knew what I was doing. If you were wondering what happened next, I decided it was a little. learning experience to reflect my blowjob skills, so I did what she did and never spoke to him again. I mean, I would probably leave. That's so rude. But I mean, you know, she leaned in and learned a skill. Because he was her teacher. You know, it was a teacher-student thing. That's true. Yeah. Oh, you're right. Sorry. Yeah. It was an educational video. Fair. Yeah. Yep, you're right. I forgot. Yeah. You said it was that they had a teacher-student relationship, so she just leaned in. Yeah. I mean, you brought this on yourself, girl.

You know? Can you imagine him sitting there? He's like, and he just reaches and he gets his laptop and shoves it in her face. Do this. Can you imagine just sitting there being frustrated and being like, I'm so over this and he like frustratingly grabs his laptop? She's like, he was kind of standing but sitting on the side of his bed. I was on my knees old school style. Like I didn't know there was like new world styles of dick suck.

I didn't know that we like aged out of certain types of dick sucking. Well, I think also can we analyze this? Is this a true or false? He was kind of standing but sitting on the side of his bed. I don't know. Maybe he was like leaning against the bed. Like his, I'm trying to figure out what this means.

I know. Because I gave us. Can we just like poke a hole in her? No, I think that she's just not explaining it the right way. Maybe he's just leaning on the bedpost. Like maybe like one leg is sort of on the bed. Yeah. Because if she was like if you're on your knees on the floor,

I would need somebody to kneel a little bit. Like I gave a standing blow job not too long. ago he was standing and I was sitting on the couch I wasn't on my knees I I'm really sure I'm probably not going to reach maybe you may should mime it but I'm thinking like I'm five feet tall if I'm on my knees and like a six foot something man is standing I'd have a hard time getting that dick in my mouth right okay well maybe there's a high discrepancy here Ashley and I are going to just you know practice and let you know yeah I'll let you guys know I don't know if this is weird have we even said all these are weird it's fucking rude it's rude

Yeah. I mean, listen, I do have this like, it really turns me on for somebody to like walk me through a blowjob. Like, I think that's so hot. But like the video tutorial. The video. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. So did we say all of them? Pickle aggression. It's not weird to hate pickles. It's weird to make a scene in a restaurant. Oh, I'm never going out that person again. Yeah. Viginophobia.

Seek therapy. Decorative knee brace. Weird. Blow job. Rude. What other ones? did you have. Yelling clit.

Yelling suck my clit. Confused. Yeah. It doesn't really know what's going on. Takes one pant leg off to poop. Weird. Waring your clothes. Hot, could be.

I don't know. Live your truth. I forgot about that. Like, now this is the new game, fill in the blank. Like, is this blank? Is he confused? Yeah.

He said, lick my clit. I will say, sometimes we play truth or lie. I think these were all the truth. I felt like they were all the truth. also knee brace we had a photo pickle aggression we had the text skirt she sent photos of her skirt and him okay and vaginophobia please update us what happened after this

did you guys just end the relationship we have to know um thank you guys so much for tuning in we hope you enjoyed the topic and is this weird and all the things um girls got to eat podcast dot com for tour dates and tickets and merchandise girls got to eat podcast in instagram rana dot greenberg and ash hess on instagram girls underscore got to eat on Twitter and YouTube.com slash Girls Gotta Eat. And that's it for us. That's it. We love you guys. Have a good week. Bye.