Girls Gotta Eat - Are You the Crazy Ex? with Nick Viall

Episode Date: November 11, 2024

We've all done some crazy ex things, or at least thought about it, but does that make it ok? We're joined by our friend, fellow podcaster, and new dad Nick Viall to discuss crazy ex behavior, the things we do (from the minor to the major leagues), and how to hold back from those angry urges. We discuss why it hurts so badly when someone betrays you (or even worse, when they move on), how social media makes us crazy during breakups, and the controversial question of "Is it ok to sleep with an ex's friend for revenge?" We also break down our listeners' "Psycho of Power Move" submissions and they are WILD. Before Nick joins us, we're discussing Ashley's secret doctor visits, whether a move by Rayna's recent date was hot or not, and the notion that "Gen Z thinks making out is hotter than sex." Enjoy! Follow Nick on Instagram @NickViall and TikTok @nickviall, check out his podcast The Viall Files, and get his book Don't Text Your Ex Happy Birthday. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Thank you to our partners this week: Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order at https://quince.com/GGE. Nutrafol: Get $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping at http://nutrafol.com with code GGE10. ZBiotics: Get 15% off at https://zbiotics.com/gge with code GGE. Storyworth: Get $10 off your first purchase at http://storyworth.com/gge. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Character matters and like you're doing something that it would ultimately be something you wouldn't normally do. Would you normally keep somebody's car? This podcast is a Dear Media production. Hi guys. Hi guys. Welcome back to their episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome back. Lucky's day of the year.

1111. 11. 11. Are you like corny like me? Do you stop at like 11 11 every time you catch it on the clock? And do what? I make a wish. Make a wish. I know.

It's like it's a lot every day. I don't, you know, if I catch it. If I catch it. I don't actively seek it out. But if I catch it, I'm like, that's so lucky. Well, I love angel numbers. I feel like I've gotten more into them with my fiancé. He's, like, very into them.

He has a tattoo of one. And I feel like I've turned you onto them. I'd never heard of that before. So three or four consecutive numbers in a row. And I'm really into that. You know, I've, over the years, been on a home buying journey as well. And I'm always really big on the address. And I've been like, that's a lucky address.

And I'll always even look at what year the house was built and things like that. I also think when people give me their phone number is I think, like, do I like this phone number? Oh, you take it a step further. There's certain phone numbers I really like. So the very first night he and I got together in the hotel room in Boston, like I went back to find my receipt from the hotel to see like the room number. What was it? Well, it actually was 1-1-1-2.

And that's an angel number? I mean, the 1-1-1 of it all. So we've just kind of taken 1-1-1 and ran with it. That's why I want to get married on 1-1-1. Now you guys know. Wait, that's crazy. On 11-1. That's really, you should tell, wait, please, when you talk about your wedding?

The first time we fucked was it in 1-1-1-1. But we're saying- Can I talk about it? Yes. If we, yes. Like, I just kind of pretend the two doesn't exist. Because it still has an age number in it technically. Also, it has room 112 where the players dwell in it. But also, I'm going to email them and ask if we can stay in it again.

In December. I love that idea. We're staying at the same hotel. We do it now. Okay. Tessa, email them. I'll ask. Raina, I just have to tell you, I just got two moles removed.

Okay, Ashley, you do this thing, and I don't really understand it. You've done it for our entire friendship, like, of the decade. And you're always like casually mentioning that you're going to the doctor and you gatekeep why. It's always. You always make me ask the follow of question. You texted me and I was like, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and like didn't offer the information. Like it's just the dentist or it's the gynecologist or like it's somewhere on your butt again. It's something your butt again.

So like I have you gatekeep the information. I swear I told you a while back and I was like I'm going to the dermatologist on election day. What's going to happen? But I, they just remove them on the spot. Did they freeze them off? No. Like she took them off. How do you know?

Okay. Can you take them home? She has to check them for cancer. She's a biopsy. And removing them is the same procedure. I went in. Like a coloscopy. That was a concerning, which even a friend who was a dermatologist, I was on a

girl's trip with her. She's like, get that checked out. It has like irregular borders or whatever. I was like, I do think it's growing. So regular border. That's how you know. You're not checking your malls. Now I know.

You're out in yourself. No. I have freckles all over. I have so much skin. What is the difference between a freckle on a mole? I don't fucking know. Well, Google it. So it had a regular borders and it looks, no, I'm just saying not to be an asshole, but Google what looks normal and what does it. Because the two that I thought were problematic are the two she took off. She did my whole body. It was butt naked. She checked everything. And she was like, you were right. I was like, once again, I'm the doctor here. So. And then she let you burn them off yourself. Yes. I was like, I'll do that. I'll actually handle that. No, it's like, see, a little. Oh, a little dot. It really is like just a little pinch of numbing and then they just, it's so quick and easy. I did not know what was happening that day. Like I was like, oh, I thought I'd have to come back for this.

She's like, no, we're going to do them right now. So hopefully I'm fine. I mean, I hope so too. You know, obviously it's always a little concerning when they take your moles. And then she was like, I think I'm going to want to see you twice a year because you're a molly. Just probably my type of skin, the moles, my fair skin. Yeah, you do it. All my other weird shit going on.

She's stumped about the stuff of my neck. Yeah, it's a whole thing. Well, I'm glad you got that taken care of. I should put it in your contract that you swear that you'll get your moles checked here. You know, like, when you're an athlete, you have like, what's the clause called? But like pro athletes can't go like skydiving or race car driving. Yeah. And so I would like you to get your moles checked.

Well, I'm down to go. It was less than a mile from my house. I was in and out. She was no nonsense because she came in when I was still changing and she wasn't like, oh, excuse me. She was like, let's get to it. Like I was naked and she was like, all right, well, you know, I'm going to see it all anyway, which I love that energy.

Oh, I love it. And I feel like when doctors give me the time to get all worked up, then I will get worked up. But if they're just like, let's just do this shit. Like I got, I had to get vaccinated the other day to meet my nephew. Yeah. And this guy just three needles in my arm. Bup, pop, bup, bap. Yeah.

Didn't even like stop. He wasn't like, and here we go. Anyway, I mean, he was just like stab, stab, stab, stab. She was no nonsense. And like, oh, one more thing. Well, I have you. Do you have a vein specialist? And she was like, yep, give him the card.

And she was out. I was done. Oh, my God. Like, it was so quick and easy. Moles removed. got the card for the vein specialist. See you back in six months. We'll call you if you have cancer.

Done. She sounds like a New Yorker. 100%. All right, let's thank you for our partners and then jump in. Thanks to Quince, get free shipping and 365 day returns on your next order at quince.com slash GGE. And thanks to Zbiotics, get 15% off at Zbiotics. com slash GGE with code GGE.

Yes. And thanks to Storyworth. Get $10 off your first purchase at storyworth. com slash GGE. And Nutraful, which I just told my dermatologist that I'm taking it. Get $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping at Nutrafol.com with code GGE 10.

So as we're recording this, I am waiting for both the keys to my house and my nephew to be born. It keeps getting pushed like day by day by day. Both things. You're waiting for the keys and her getting induced. So we'll talk about it next week if I ever get the keys and I ever meet my nephew.

But in the meantime, I am like working on the renovation. And last night, I had like a Zoom meeting with the contractors. And Ashley, how hard? fucking hot is that guy. Raina, you sent a screenshot of the Zoom and I just responded to the group chat. You were so fucked. You were grinning eerity. I was like, you don't even look at me like that. You are fucked. And then you were telling me about him. I was like, that's it. To be fair, I probably was laughing at my own joke. He's like, I don't want to say he's rude.

He's just, I, rude is not the word. He just, he really, I work for it a little bit. I got on the Zoom and he was just on another phone call. Rob does that shit. I just, I was a little fuck boy in a way I liked. Like, I like talking to him. And he's funny and I love looking at him. And he like kind of laughs against his own will at the stuff that I say. And I like it. So we're going to go shopping this week. Me and him.

Just me and him. This is a date. You're already fucking the contractor in your mind. I deal with him and either his cousin or his brother. I haven't figured out what the relationship is yet. But he just seems to travel a lot. So I'll get him when I can. And he's like, do you want to go shopping for doors with me on Thursday?

And also to a nursery to get plants. So we're going to go plant and door shopping together. tomorrow. And the way he talks to me just makes me really want it more. He was like, so we're going to be outside. So just like, make sure you like wear a hat. It gets sunny. And I was like, did you just explain being outside to me?

That's crazy. I've been outside before. Thank you so much. And he like laughs against his will at me and it makes me laugh. I like that. I mean, what I know about this guy so far is he needs someone to push back on him. You know? And like, give him a hard time.

You could be that woman. The way he talks to me is so funny. I'm like, can I do this thing? And he's like, this is America. Can you pay for it? You could do the thing. I don't know. Well, I hope it works out. However, I think you're fucked, but this guy's going to have you in a chokehold in more ways than one. I hope he literally has me in an actual chokehold. So my realtor sent me a house this morning. And it's probably not the one. Again, I've been trying to buy a house in Dewey Beach for, you know, four years. And it is a townhome. It's great. It's on an end. It's in a great location. four stories. Like, where is the elevator in this house? Like, I was really laughing thinking about paying

this hefty price, whatever the house is, and being like, I got to go up four flights of stairs. What's on the top floor? Bedrooms. My parents would never see them. They could never get up there. Right. I just couldn't stop laughing, thinking about like coming from New York. Like, you live in a fourth floor walk up. Your bedroom's on the fourth floor. Floor is crazy. I mean, I looked at-hury. Three is fine. I looked at a house. The ground floor was two bedrooms, like guest bedrooms. The second floor. floor was like living room kitchen and the third floor was the main bedroom. And even I was like, that's kind of high up. Yeah. Three story. Townhome's obviously a thing. My house is technically three stories. I guess it's low key floor. But you don't have to go to the top floor. The roof.

I would have to go to the roof. Yeah. And I guess I do a four. The basement. As somebody who already lives in a fourth floor, actually, you live in the tallest house. I don't, I forget that you already live in one of these. It's a basement in the garage. She's like, can you believe it? You literally live in one. But this, between the second floor and the rooftop is not a full story. You know what I mean? Like it's just, you go up a few steps. There's a loft space up there, whatever. But I was just laughing. This house is massive. It's way too big for me. It's five bedrooms, three thousand square feet. Like, I just don't need a house. It would be a rental property. Like, I don't want to own a home that I feel like would be my forever home. That's all bedrooms. And also it has a crazy HOA for some odd reason. But I sent it to Matt. And he was like, you can cancel your gym membership without that house. Just hope it up and down those stairs. So many. Three is where I tap out. I couldn't do four. And I've, as somebody who lived in New York or whole. life. I lived on a fifth floor walkup. That was my tallest one. That was my first apartment in New York. I was Sprayley. I was 22. Yeah. And then I lived in a two floor walk up a couple times. I'm a first floor bitch. With the dog, I could never do it. Like I just, I had something about it. Like, even when I lived in my elevator

building, I still, not that I really got to choose, but I was still only like second floor. Like, I like being able to get in the stairs. Like, I cannot picture a life for myself where I'm waiting for an elevator all day every day. Like, I hate waiting for elevators. But at, Outside of it, like, I'm like, I just, I feel like I don't want that to be part of my life. It's part of people's life. I understand. But it's just like, I can't. When you're ready to go, you want to go.

I'm too impatient. My brother doesn't like it either. He doesn't want to talk to a doorman. He's like, I won't do it. I don't want to speak to people. I miss my doorman. Yeah, I did. Like, I would be one day I'd be living if I live back in New York, whatever.

I'm in like on a six floor. I'm just in the stairwell every day. You know, I'll be in the stairwell of a hotel. Do you know where a hot your doormen were? Yeah. Jesus Christ. but oh my god they were so hot but you'll be like I miss them I feel like we've been sometimes in hotels and I pop out of some random door I'm like I took the stairs like I will find a stairwell that is staff

only if I can't like I love to take the stairs I hate waiting for elevators oh in hotels yeah I don't like if I'm gonna a floor a floor that I can get up there I'm just like where's this the door to the stairs and they're like ma'am you can't do that I'm like you have to let me it has there has been exit if it's four floors or last I'd like to just take the steps I'm trying to get the fuck out of there Not up, down. Down. I'm not hooffing it up foreflights. I'd rather die.

Actually, it made me laugh really hard. We were in Philly to do a show last week. And this girl, there was a huge wedding party. It was a lesbian wedding party in the lobby. And all these girls look so beautiful. They were all the bridesmaids. And one gets in and she into the elevator with me and she presses two. And she announces to the whole elevator.

And she was like, I'm so sorry, I would walk, but not with this hair and makeup. I love that. And like, I thought she was going to say with these shoes. Yeah. Not with his hair and makeup. I was like, I lie. respect it. Well, I was on the second floor in the canopy in Portland, Maine, and there wasn't a stairwell to get up there. I was like, I hate taking the elevator one floor up and then me and Sparkle Eyes took it to go down. I was like, let's just take the stairs. We're on the second floor. And we just ended up outside. It was not like actually, we were like on the street. It's one of my greatest fears that I go into one of those stairwells and I just can't get out. That phone call you have to make to the front desk to explain where you are. Like, I don't know if I would call you or the front desk. like who's going to make fun of me less?

I have been in stairwells of hotels. Like, I shouldn't be here. I know. There's somebody working. There's like a mop bucket. I'm like, this is. Like the room service people. Like you're supposed to be there.

I know. And I'm just like, I don't know who I would phone. I'd probably call Tessa. I like the sound of her laugh and she would make fun of me the least. But no, I did go on a date with this other guy this week. And I just want to say, I mean, he was very nice. But he did this thing and I just thought like it, I walked into the date and it like melted

my heart. I walked in. And he was. facing the wall. And I just, I loved it so much. And I think that's such a nice green flag, but like somebody didn't take the girl seat. You saved the booth for you. Like I think he, like, that's, that really takes some thought to be like, I'm early. I'm 10 minutes ahead of her. I will sit and stare at this wall so she can have the better seat, even though I am paying. Yeah. But was he looking around, like to see when you walked in? It was a really busy

restaurant. And I actually, the hostess was directly in front of my body and kind of blocked him until I got to the... Yeah. Because I would also be fine if I walked in and he was sitting in that seat because it's the better seat while he waited

and then he got up and then he got to offer it to me. Yeah. Yeah. Because, you know, you gotta see when your date walks in. But I thought that was really nice.

I've been on several dates where I get there and they're sitting in the booth and they don't like offer me the seat. Whoa. But I go back and forth because I'm like, this is a stranger.

I don't expect him to sit for 10 minutes and stare at a wall. That's what I'm saying. It's a little simpy. It's a little simpy. I don't want you to sit there. staring at the wall. I want you to be open to the room in the booth. Okay, but that's awkward. Watching me walk in and then you get up because you should get up when I walk in anyway if you're

a gentleman. That's the smoothest move in the world. They're sitting in the booth. You get there and they're like, no, no, no, please sit here. Well, because you, you need to rise anyway. To greet me. The whole thing is there has to be a transition anyway. You have to stand up anyway. So then it's like, why don't you take the booth? Oh, it's sexy. That's so. sexy. Now I kind of have the ick about that. At the wall. Doing what? I was just picturing him. I mean just like simping out waiting for Rana.

Well, I got a DM from a listener and she was like, I gotta tell you, sis, you look really hot, but you do not seem interested in this date. And I was like, I think I did a better job of pretending than she thinks I did. But the tables were really close together. And like, it is funny because you're like aware that other people are aware that you're on a first date. Oh. I know. Like, I love nothing more than being. in the presence of that. Love it. But I hate that, like, I could be on a first date and, like, someone is listening to me.

I know. I was just like. And then they get to go home with their fucking partner and be like, oh, my God, could you believe that first day? Well, the two people next to ask was these two, like, really cute girls to the left of me that were just, like, talking their shit. And on the right of me was this couple that did not speak a word to each other for the entire time.

And I was like, I wish Ashley was here to just, that's our favorite thing. Watch this with me. Yeah. I mean, they just did not talk to each other at all. And then I was like, I said to him, I was like, can I just tell you what's so crazy. I was like, did you notice they didn't talk to each other? Like, not one word this entire date. And he goes, no.

And he didn't notice. And I was like, oh, no. It's okay. It is a little bit more of a female trait. Like, even I've been out with my fiance and I'm like trying to eavesdrop on people. And he is still talking to me. I'm like, excuse me. Maybe he was just paying attention to me and not on your table.

I'm like, if you're going to be with me, you need to talk shit on everybody in this room. Okay. You need to listen to me and also multitask. That is so true. Do you believe this motherfucker just had his attention on me? That is so true. Like that is something I would say to sparkly. Like, did you hear that?

He'd be like, no, babe. I was intently listening to you. And I'm like, well, pull your shit together. Of course. Yeah, you can multitask. Yeah. We're supposed to be spied on these other people. Well, he was a nice person, not a love match because of the staring at the wall thing.

No, he really was a nice person. And sometimes you go on those dates and you just go home so devastated and upset and you're like, that was such a nightmare. And this was just right up the middle. And I'll take that. I'll take just somebody being polite and kind and paying for dinner and being respectful of me and asking me nice questions. And then we go about our day. Yeah. Yeah. They exist. They do exist. Well, so we wanted to talk about a topic. Tessa sent this to us. And, you know, everything comes out of

TikTok these days. But Bustle, we even talked about Bustle in a while, but Bustle wrote an article titled for Gen Z making out is hotter than sex. And it's just basically about how a hot makeout session could be steamyer than sex. In a viral video posted on October 7th creator, disturbed big sis said, bring back dry humping 2025, which I love, while talking about how actual sex is rarely as good as a passionate kiss. Like, why do we have to go from making out to having sex? Can we dry hump with clothes on at least three times first, please? And it has all these likes and comments and people were like, finally someone said it and like, you're right queen. And I am here for it. This doesn't have to be specific to Gen Z. This applies. This applies.

to everybody. I think we all can kind of feel this. Well, they talk about like why. Also, I do agree. It's very steamy and really turns me on and I love Jory Humping. I don't know that it's... I would like to have sex, but like I don't need it on like a first through third date. If I know that I'm going to sleep with you, we've all the time in the world

and I feel very turned on by a makeout session. But it talks about why there's a noticeable rise in abstinence to the part of access to reproductive health care, which I think is interesting. It's also a broader definition of what constitutes as sex. Pointing at sex thing is an example. So, I mean, I do remember dating in like my, so many years ago in my 20s. And like sexting just wasn't,

it wasn't so much a thing. Sending photos. I mean, this really like ages me, but like, what I was going to send a nude on my Blackberry? I wasn't sexting as much back then. I was just ready to get pop in. Right. Is that your thigh? I know. So I just think there's other ways to feel intimacy with people now. I don't think there's as much of a rush. I think we've more access to people than ever you go out every night of the week and fuck a different person. I think that that sort of diminishes is the excitement of it. And I like the chase a little bit. Yeah.

I mean, this also depends on what stage you are with a person. Like, I'll certainly have, like, hot steamy makeouts with my fiance, but they usually lead to sex and we have great sex. And so that's what we both want. But sometimes not. But with a new person, like, the sex can also often be disappointing. I mean, I think sometimes the stories that we share over brunch are like, oh, my God, the makeout or like, we were just so passionately.

We wanted each other so badly. Like those are kind of the things that you get you really turned on early days. It's not so much the penetration of it all. I actually think like the dry humping and your hands are just like gripping all over different things and you're making out. It's the anticipation of it. That's usually better than the first time you have sex with somebody. 100%. The first like two times you have casual sex with somebody and you're just like figuring it out.

Yeah. I mean, I'll take making out dry humping over that a lot of times. Yeah. I mean, I'm just so big on foreplay. And I think it's, of course, we've talked about, you know, everybody loves a quickie. now and then, but, like, it is major. It is major to get lubricated. It is major to have a better orgasm when you have so much build up and foreplay and you're so turned on and all those things. So, yeah, like, I don't know many women that aren't like, yeah, let's do this for longer, you know,

like, I know sometimes you want to get it in, but I think most women are like, can we rub up against each other and make out for longer? Because I love this. I just, I hope that this is also that, like women feel that their value in a relationship isn't just sex and that they can provide their value and they don't need it to feel good about themselves or to make them make them feel like a man likes them. Like I hope some of this is just due in part to women feeling like I don't owe this to anybody. I don't have to prove my value with this. I don't have to make somebody like me with this.

And that maybe like the tides are changing in terms of what women want to give of themselves and what men expect of women. Because for most of the podcast, one of the number one questions we ever got was like, how soon do you sleep with somebody? And now it just sounds like people are waiting a little bit longer. Yeah. I like to see it. And we have said this since day one. I mean, those first few dates, it's so hot to have a hot makeout, dry humping, touching each other, you know, second base kind of stuff. And the anticipation of having sex later, like it's always okay to wait. I mean, I just think that goes a long way. Like those memories keep you going. Yeah. Yeah.

I just love this one quote. It says, sexual anticipation can sometimes be better than having sex at all because it's that intense sexual chemistry that's compounding without ever having a release. Says Lee Noren, a sex therapist and coach, it's all about where will this go as opposed to satisfying the itch right away. I love that. I love it. And you can pretend that someone's good in bed.

You can suspend reality. Yeah, but I do. They can have as big of a hog on them as you want them to be. Or small. Yeah. All right. Well, we have a great episode for you guys today. of Nick back on the show. But before we welcome him, we're just going to take a couple partners.

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Go to quince.com slash GGE for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's QINCE.com slash GGE to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash GGE. Okay. Let's get into it. Okay, guys. we are very excited to welcome back a friend of the show. He is

the host of the Vio Files. Please welcome back, Nick Fial. Rana, it's a short intro. I just, I'm going to gas him up. Why does it need to be longer? I don't know. Raina, she usually goes harder. I do you notice that you guys don't have my book anywhere back in my actual personal stuff? It's Friday, everybody. I want to start by saying congratulations

to you two ladies. What do we do? You guys clearly are the muse for the new hit show. No one wants this. Yeah, we got that a lot. It's both, like, I know it's not, it's like about their life and, you know, she married a Jewish man who was a rabbi or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Do they have, they don't have a hit sex and relationship dating podcast. It's not a hit, but it is, it does exist.

They had one. They have one. They have one. Aaron Foster and Sarah Foster have a podcast together. But not a dating and sex podcast. No, it's just about their. And did they have one? Did they have one when?

she met this guy? No. I'm not sure how long the podcast has been around. I know. It's you two. And they started pitching that show right around the time when we were kind of new on the scene. They've been pitching it for like five years, I think. Oh, really?

Yeah. And then, you know, one sister's way tall than the other. I know. I saw that they cast two people that were so tall and short. I was like, it is us. No, it's you. It's you too. Thank you.

And we love the show. And we, you know, we don't feel ripped off. No, I feel like you should be, this is. flattered. We should suit them? No. We should have done it. We should get a cameo in the next season. We got a lot of that from our audience and we absolutely love the show. They should have name dropped you guys at least. I know. I know. Caller Daddy got a name drop. Yeah. Well, you know

when you get a $60 million deal. Yeah. Followed by a $100 million deal. So we appreciate it. Nick, to gas you up more, you're the only podcast I listen to besides ours. And we're the only podcast you come on. I don't even listen to my.

It's okay. I try to. I'm just too busy. I mean, you just three a week and you're a dad now. You're River's dad. Yes. Dad life is great. Yeah?

Well, I want to circle back. You don't do podcasts, but you do ours. And so we just want to let everybody know. Well, I have done plenty. I just like, you know, dad life, the show has been popping off and busy. And it was just like, why? I have a podcast. If I have anything interesting to say, I'll say it on my show.

Exactly. Why am I doing other people's shows? And then I'd say it would do favors for people and always became some kind of headache or whatever. So I just kind of stopped doing them. But you guys reached out. Here you guys are friends. But also like I like talking, dating relationships with you two ladies. And it's more like us. It's like shooting the shit rather than like, you know. I listen to your show all the time. I listen to all the times a week. It's my number one car podcast. Yeah, it's great and I love the tea. Give me notes. It's good. I mean, Ashley and I are so obsessed with love is blind and I'm so obsessed with Bravo.

And so like it's just a real hit for me. Yeah. That makes me happy. It's really self-conscious. No, I love it too. I love it on walks. I'll be like I want to go. walk for an hour. And so you've got to queue it up. Well, I appreciate that. I mean, I, I just want to make sure we continually put out a good show. Yeah, we love it. It's good to hear feedback from professionals like you. Thanks. We were just talking about love is blind before we recorded for at length. And I mean, you get them all. You get everybody. You know, I have a close relationship with that franchise. Yeah. Yeah, they're kind of mean. It's a mutually beneficial relationship. Yeah. And you ask them all the questions. Everybody wants to know. I mean, I think I remember posting a comment on some

real, I don't even remember what season it was. And I was like, you're giving us what Nick and Vanessa did it. We try to. And it got so many likes because everybody felt that. It's just like, you're getting these interviews that people are dying to know. I appreciate you saying. And, you know, I also understand in fairness to like any host of a, you know, reunion or a TV show. They film these things for hours. They don't get to edit it. So there's always the possibility that, you know, maybe they're asking questions that for whatever reason, don't make the final cut. But like,

except for the live one. But what's consistent about Nick and Vanessa is their insistence on talking about meaningless, stupid things. Yes. And that is making the cut. So I can't,

I don't think, I could be wrong, but I don't think they're asking, Vanessa clearly doesn't watch the show. What do you think she watches? I don't think she watches. You think she just gets like the cliff notes? She shows up,

gets the cliff notes, maybe, yeah, skims. She's not a fan of the show. like we are. She's not watching. This is an opinion. I have no inside information on this. I will say like,

you know, I've watched every Andy Cohen hosted reunion for a decade plus. And he is clearly a fan of the show. He watches it. And he doesn't really let people off the hook. Like, he keeps digging in until you get the answer.

That's what he does. Yeah. I have a question for you, just for my own information. So I really got into your show around the time of Scandival about two and a half years ago. And because I need the community, I needed to listen to more people talk about it.

Prior to that, you mostly did Bachelor stuff. And, like, was your entree into, like, the Bravo World Scandibald? Yeah. So you didn't really watch, now you really are, like, the go-to place for all these reality TV stars to, like, give exclusives. You know, my show, you know, we were on our 800th and whatever episode. I started in 2019. I mean, I think about it all the time, but it's not the same show. You know, the bones of what my show was.

my show has always been some version of relationship and pop culture and reality TV podcast. Like from episode one, we talked about relationships. We talked about reality TV on some way. But like, yeah, it is drastically evolved, you know, over the years. And, you know, I didn't start doing Batch the Recaps until a year in until I started getting like just recognition for a show that was not reality TV focused. And that was just kind of my own wanted to prove that to myself type of thing. And then we started doing that. had success with that, you know, expanded the show.

And then, yeah, I got into Scandival. And I'm always looking for ways to stay fresh and grow the show. You know, you ladies are an exception to the rule as well. But like most podcasts, they pop and they just slowly die. You know, like you have to keep being innovative. Yeah, and evolving. And the show, again, having always been some kind of pop culture relationship podcasts, all forms of reality TV are really just, you know,

a way to talk about interpersonal relationships and social dynamics and it using as a launching pad to relate to our own lives. And so coming from that space and I know how it all is made, I know how it works. So I'm able to empathize from a production standpoint, from a contestant standpoint. And so yeah, it's just fun and I enjoy talking about it. And yeah, we started with Scandival and then Salt Lake City popped. I got it into that. And that was amazing. So then I started looking at other housewife shows. And yeah, and then we came up with reality recap a couple years ago and just kind of broadened our horizons. And yeah, it was Love is Blind. I think Love is Blind was the next step after Bachelor. We got in Love is Blind. And then like this past summer, Love Island,

you know, because I was always like, you should watch Love Island. I was like, oh my God, there's so many shows. And then Ariana was the host. So I was like, you know, let's watch our girl. Let's see how she's doing. And then it was like, oh, this shit's amazing. You know, And it was shockingly easy to binge. And so, yeah, we just kind of kept evolving. I love to hear it. And I love that you're like, it's not the same show. And that's the point.

You know, people are always like, you've changed. And it's like, that's the point. We're supposed to change and evolve and grow. And I just love it. You're really the go-to for all these people. And it seems like you kind of just fell into it. And you're crushing it. And we love it.

Well, I appreciate saying likewise, you ladies are. Oh, my gosh. Oh, yeah. Well, two things I want to say before we move into like more of a topic. But you do have a book that you wrote, which we promoted last 10, but I want to drive people to it again. Don't text your ex, happy birthday. And I love it. And it's just, oh, really, Ashley and I both really love it. It's tons of topics just about modern day dating and relationships. I really recommend that people look it up, read it. It's on the

property, allegedly. It's in my bedroom. It's just not in the room. It's in my personal stack. Yeah. Raina likes to read it before bed. It's a bedtime story. No, I appreciate you saying, you know, I want to, I want to write another one. I don't. Yeah. I need to start, like, just writing at night just to write and see what happens. Well, your life is different. You're a dad. You know, like our ask Nick shows, which every Monday where people just call in and then, you know, share their stories. Like, it always was and still is, you know, the main, most of the callers are, you know, that's a lot of dating and relationships, you know, meeting fuck boys, dealing with situationships. But, you know, every once in a while,

I'll get a caller asking a new problem, like a parent-child relationship or a friend relationship. And people have enjoyed that perspective I've shared. So then we get more of those. And I've been really into the whole like parent child dynamic, which has been a lot of fun to talk about. And so it's just like different aspects of life and things like that we dive into. I think it helps your audience feel like you grew up with them. And I think about the stuff that Ashley and I talked about seven years ago that I'm still proud of it, but we've grown up. Our lives are different.

Ashley's engaged. And so the stuff that you're going to talk about is different, the things that you give advice on. And I don't know that I'd give the same advice today that I would seven years ago. I think the advice was good seven years ago, but I'm older. I'm calmer. I'm wiser. When we started our shows, the word gathers on.

S lighting didn't even exist. Totally. Totally. No, we weren't, we weren't saying narcissists all the time. Yeah. It would be like, what is that?

You think it would be something you read it in a... Boundaries? I don't really even know the word boundaries. So we're going to get into the topic, but we just want to like life update. You weren't a dad when we had you on before. How is it going?

Amazing. Love being a dad. Okay. Yeah, no, it's been really great. We're putting up a tree tonight. It's November 1st. Mariah Carey has defrosted and trees are going up.

We dressed River up as a little strawberry. yesterday. Oh my God. No, it's great. I mean, she's, we were very lucky. She's an easy baby. Also, like, she's a beautiful baby. Yeah.

But it's amazing. Yeah, honestly, like, I'm really in, I'm on a heater lifewise. Like, like, works being good, life's being good. You know, Nali and I are working together. That's been great having her on. You know, I think she's the best part of the show,

you know, and she's, again, she's like, she brings a cool, funny element to the show that I don't know if it ever had it before she came. And it's fun doing it with my wife. And so that's fun. And yeah, life's great. She has funny one-liners. She was fighting with Tom Sandibol.

I was dying. Yeah. Yeah. She's very funny. All right. Well, thank you for that. You guys are a good. We talk a lot about like marriage and who it benefits. And a lot of women feel like they don't get the best end of the deal.

And, you know, you have men over here, like marriage is great for me. And you guys seem like you have a lot. a great mutually beneficial partnership. We both put in maximum effort. Yeah, exactly. Like, you know, we do couples therapy. We had it yesterday.

You know, I came from individual therapy here, so I'm cleansed. I'm ready to go. Oh, wow. I do therapy a week, okay. Yeah, we work really hard on our relationship. Yeah. It's as imperfect as any other relationship,

but we work really hard. And it really matters to me to be a great husband and to be a great dad. It's the only thing I care most about. I mean, everything I do, I think is for the purposes of my family. And I take great pride and making it worth my wife's time. Love that.

That makes sense. And vice versa. And she does the same for me. Yeah, I will say, not to like, toot my own harm with that man in the back, but, you know, ask Nick are, you just hear about a lot of bad partners and a lot of men are just bad dads. Like, I think that's more shocking to me than anything, you know? I mean, two people dating, listen, it's easy to get into each other's nerves and it's easy not to appreciate each other. but not appreciating your children and not like being there.

It's shocking to me the amount of deadbeat dads out there. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. I like that you say that it is work. I think so many people see relationships on social media and they're like, this looks so perfect and you're like that I worked on that. You know, it's not an accident.

We work on it every day. It's relationships are work. And then they're beautiful and they're amazing and they're so rewarding. But like they don't work because of fate or, you know, because you met in a great cool way, you know? Yeah. not why they work. You wake up every day. You choose to be in this relationship and either enjoy the good times or address a problem or a disconnection that you have. And some of, some of those are

minor things. Some of those are bigger things. And you know, you just have to decide to be in it or not. But you said something, like you said, I want to be a good partner. Like, if that is how someone genuinely feels and they lead with that, like it should really work out. You know what I mean? Like, that's how I feel with my fiance. Like, we both just really want to be a good partner to each other. You know, I think you, we hear about all this bad behavior all the time. And it's like if you actually, at its root, that person does not care. They don't want to be a good partner, whether it's that they don't want to be in this relationship anymore or whatever they have going on.

Like, their choice is not to be a good partner to you at its core. I mean, one thing that's a common thing I always say on the show. It says there's a lot of people like having a boyfriend or girlfriend, but they're not really interested in being one. Mm. You know. That quote. I don't love that happens, but I love the quote. Yeah.

Yeah, there's a lot of, specifically with men. You know, a lot of guys love having a girlfriend, but don't want to be a boyfriend, you know. Love a girlfriend experience. Absolutely. But that's the same thing with marriage. Like, yeah, what guy doesn't want a wife, you know, to do everything for them and, you know, support them? And then they're not, it's not reciprocal. So it's just, it's such a great way to frame it.

And I feel for anybody that has just had the light bulb go off of that's what I'm dealing with. Well, do you think about like going back, I'm not really like, her criticism about being harsh with Nick, she's more internalizing as like how, what people think of her as a person. It doesn't seem like she's taking it as like, I don't want to be the nagging partner as opposed to like, you know what I'm saying?

She's more like, I don't want to people to think I'm a bitch. But it's more like, she doesn't seem to have a problem with how. With the content of the conversation. Yeah, or how, like, or how is it a reflection of her, a partner, you know. She's crazy. I know. Here he is.

You apologize. She's like, let me ruin your life. Well, when the end of the topic, we stole it from you. So we just want to give you credit. We were perusing some of your episodes and this one says, Am I the crazy ex? Am I the crazy ex? I think that's what you guys called.

And we were like, that's a great topic. And so you're already well versed in it. But we just love this because I think that you hear a lot of men call their ex crazy who are not crazy. They're just saying that it can be a red flag If a guy is like all my exes are crazy But sometimes you are the crazy ex Well I'm always like what'd you do to make her

What did you make her crazy? Yeah Exactly Have you? I want to know how you feel about people acting crazy after a breakup But have you been the crazy ex? Sure, yeah I have I've

I caught somebody cheating on me And I got my friend and I got like paint Like house paint And threw it all over his car In front of her house Like the giant things of paint And I was young I've never done that

I've never done anything illegal But also I was 21 and I think the consequences don't feel as heavy when you're that age. I just think revenge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die

but at 21 when you catch your boyfriend parked outside of his ex-girlfriend's house and you see his car, it feels really good to throw paint all over it. I will say growing up and becoming more emotional and mature, emotionally more regulated when I feel wronged or slighted by someone. I'm like, I

what I'm trying to say is like being the bigger person is so fucking boring and annoying. And it's like honestly, sometimes I get so fucking tired of it. I know it's the right thing for ever, you know, for my mental health or to not care. Living well is the best for revenge. But sometimes you just want to ruin someone's life. I know. And yeah, it's so annoying doing the right thing all the time. I'm like to always be the bigger person. I'm just so fed up with my maturity, I think. I just think what I look at it, I'm like, you can't just ruin someone. someone's life and walk away. This is going to be a long road. This is going to be like a war. You know, like sometimes when I'm like, I could do this thing, but it won't end there.

And then I have to stress. You know what I mean? Even if you want to argue back and forth with someone on the internet, you're like, I can't just shut it down. Like, this will follow me and stress me out and keep me up at night. Like, that's like a minor example. But something about it, I think we all can be like, I wish I could just do this one thing and like get them back. But it wouldn't end there. Then they would have to get you back and then you're doing it back and forth. And then it's like this long journey. It does prolong the cycle. Yeah. Yeah, as I've gotten older,

you have to be the bigger person. I feel like it's bad for my soul. But I think the thing that, like, it's different when somebody comments and they mean on my Instagram and I want to be mean to them back and I'm like, just move along. But like when somebody who is supposed to be kind to you,

who you've given your body to and your heart, when they fuck you over, it's like, you don't even know what to do with that energy in your body. It's so painful. Well, you just have to let it go. You know, you have to, yeah, you have to find an outlet for it.

Because, like, without getting to do no much detail, like, I'm over the course of my life, and I now has had a same experience, like, you know, we've lost touch with friends and whatever. And I've had people, like, did not let it go. And they would try, you could tell, like, from afar they were just, you know, not letting the conflict go. And my life would greatly advance. and there's what it. And you couldn't help but wonder it's because of all the energy

they're investing and and not like being petty or, you know, talking behind my back or, you know, talking me, you know, it's like, it's like I mean, I preach about this all the time but your energy is not infinite. It's the things you think about take energy.

You could be doing a million other things. And so when you think about it that way, you think about like how much energy revenge costs you. and where it keeps your focus. Yeah, I think one of the best revenges in life is just being unbothered. And even if you are so devastated to your core

and you're going to therapy and your journaling and this person is on your mind constantly because that pain can last a really long time. I was pretty deep in Reddit today. Just people talking about like I broke up to me six months ago. And I was just reading people's breakup stories. But like, you know, people saying like, I can't let this go.

It's been six months. I'm in so much pain. I understand that's it to you. But like the best revenge is to not let that person know that. Like don't, don't fuck with their life. Don't talk shit on them. Like, how nice does it feel to at least have them think you are unbothered? Yeah. Also, part of the part, you know, after six months, you're holding onto that pain. Yes. And, and you're doing it because it's the only a couple of reasons. One, it's, you know, if it's a breakup, part of it is it's the only thing

you have left to that person. Yeah. You hold onto the pain. Right. Because to let that go, then it's really over, you know? Um, and then part of it, you let that go because you come you become familiar with it. You know, you identify with it, you know, might be, you might have even gotten attention from it, you know, and I think after six months, if you're still telling yourself, you can't let it go. And I've been that person. I've been that person who's convinced I couldn't, I couldn't get over it, just couldn't do it, you know, but yeah, it's a choice. At that point, you know, after a month or two, it's a choice. You can't help how your body feels about something, but you can help how you respond to that feeling.

you know well i love that you say that and a word you said earlier that stuck with me is like being regulated and it's the way the things activate us in the in the force of lindsay hubbard i used to be so reactive and i was like absolutely a crazy ex and my ex was crazy too we were just very volatile and you know like i would go over to his house you know and after we'd broken up because he'd like lied to me if he was like dating someone new and i like busted in the house one time he was like recording a podcast and i don't know that person anymore. And I was in my 30s. You know, like, this is not that I was 21. And I mean, granted, it was still like a lot of years ago. But I don't recognize that person. And I have never

even like raised my voice at my fiance. Like, I couldn't be more different. And I'm not blaming my ex completely. Like, it was who I was at the time, too. Like, I have worked on being less reactive, regulating myself. And I'm with a partner that we don't have that sort of toxic volatile relationship, but you really just like see red. Like you are out of body. Like I've, those moments when I was doing those crazy things, I felt like I was looking down to myself, like totally out of body experience. And I know people have different ways to self-regulate and decompress and just breathe through it. But you're just so much of it is like that rage and reactivity that you do something crazy. Like you have not taken a break to process the anger.

You just like let it take over. And I think that we all can. grow out of that. I think that I'm proof of that. Yeah, we have that relationship you're talking about the one where I threw the pain on his car. Like we were in a psychotic, toxic cycle. And that's just what we did. We were just terrible to each other. Yeah, you're getting those relationships where you, that becomes

your love language with each other is to piss each other off, fight or compete with each other. I was talking about Natalie the other day. I was like, I honestly think you're the first relationship I've ever had where we don't compete. You know, like, I was talking about my therapist, I don't lean that. And she was saying how like her her first husband. Because like when I say compete,

I don't mean just like on game night. I mean like she was saying, for example, like her ex-husband would compete with who had the worst day every day. You know? It's like, oh,

I had such a bad day. And your partner's like, well, I had a worst day, you know? It's just like, couples do that all the fucking time, you know?

And it's so nice to be in relationship with someone who doesn't feel the need to compete with you. But be a cheerleader and things like that. That's really nice. But yeah, you're, you know,

couples can definitely develop some really bad habits where it just becomes how you guys operate with each other. But yeah, it's, uh, and I was thinking about that too. It's just like the amount of shit I don't care about that I used to is wild. Yeah. You know, it's just like, and, you know, part of the reason why Nali and I don't fight, like, a fraction as much as I fought with any other girlfriend ever had is a big part of me. You know, it's, you know, granted, they played their role too. But like, I was a lot more.

stubborn and a lot more pig-headed and a lot more set in my ways and also a lot more determined to be right, you know, than I am now where it's not like, uh-huh, you do grow up and evolve. I mean, I remember that the girl and me that was dating this person and it was always like Asher said, this out-of-body experience where I was so angry and so crazy. And I can't even imagine a scenario in my life that I would have that type of interaction one time with a romantic partner and ever go back. I just, I can't feel like that. That's not energy I'm going to expend. I'm not going to be that mean. I'm not going to swear and scream.

I can't, I will not have one day like that ever again with a romantic partner and then go back to that person. And that just comes to the age, you know, like, I don't even think I realized, then that the entire personality of our relationship was seeing, like, who could be more terrible and crazy to the next, to the other one. Yeah. Yeah. I hope that I, on some level, can teach my daughter some things that it took me a lifetime to learn. Some of it, I won't be able to, you know, but I hope on some ways I can teach my daughter

perspective, which, you know. I think you will. I hope. You're on that road. I think there's more information today. Like, I think that there's so many more people in podcasting, writing books, in self-help that you can listen to. I mean, there's an endless amount of people.

There's a little too much podcast equipment sometimes. But I think that there's just more people to say, like, just put it down. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Just going to take a quick break. I am going to tell you guys about Nutraful. I mentioned earlier, I was just the dermatologist, and I was telling you about my hair.

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We want to go through some of these psychotic behaviors. And I just want to say, so many of us have been here, this is no judgment. I wrote this list based on me now. You can evolve past it. Yeah. We've all been here. Yeah. We've all been. Yeah. And I just, again, like, I use myself as an example of when you're in those, doing those crazy things, like, I think you always are worried that's who you are. And you're worried

that you'll be like that in the next relationship. And that's not true. You know, like, I think we're, if you get out of one of those really toxic relationships and then you start to date someone new and things feel. really like stable and secure. I think there's always part of you like looking behind your shoulder like what if that bitch comes back, you know, and that's not true. It doesn't have to be. It could be. You could be a cycle for life. A lot of people like when they're in safe and secure relationships are bored. Right. Exactly. And they self-sabotage. Exactly. There's that. You know. Yeah. I have different people in my life. Like I think back to when I was acting it on a little more. Yeah. I also think when

you're 21, everybody thinks that shit's funny. But like today, if I did any of the things I had done in those relationships. I don't have a single friend that would be like, that was a great idea. You should do that again. Right. Like back in those days, it was like, go over there. And you're like, I'm going over there. You know, it's just like, you really had people gassing you up to do those things. Yeah, and everyone gassed them up because they made, make themselves feel better about their choices in relationships. That no one's a good, your friends are not your friends when it comes to your relationship problems. Sometimes you just want to be entertaining. Your friends are just a projections of their own shitty choices and habits to feel better about themselves.

All of, we all are like that. I just think if I told Ashley like, listen, this morning I called my boyfriend cheating. So I went to the paint. I went to the hardware store. I got to paint. I threw it on his car. I think Ashley would like call our business managers. I'd be like, I got to move some money around.

I don't feel comfortable. Yeah. people, we got some stories and people. A lot of stuff came about destroying property and contacting people that they cheated with. A lot of signing people up for gym memberships or gay dating apps or just, you know, just fucking with somebody a little bit. Put your boyfriend in a grinder or something. Yeah, like, fuck with them.

But this one says, signed him up for an ultra marathon. But like, who cares? Did you make him run it? You know, like, he's probably going to be like, I'm getting these spam emails. You just did unnecessary paperwork. Yes, which Admin was a necessary. That person's not going to revenge. Yeah, like I guess if you have their credit card info, this stuff is revengeful.

But otherwise... I mean, I guess. I caught up all of his clothing and I put him in his bag that I had also cut the straps off of. It's funny you cut the straps off. This one is went to law school because my ex went to law school and said I couldn't. That is just legally blonde. She just described the plot of a movie. She took that part of the movie.

Which, let's just say, is the best kind of revenge you can do. A hundred percent. That is positive revenge and improving your own life. Who cares if it's despite someone else? Okay, let me ask you a question. If you think, if you are under the impression you're in a committed relationship with somebody, a long-term commitment, and they cheat on you a bunch, is all of this okay? What do you mean?

Can you fuck with somebody if they've cheated on you and tried to humiliate you and do all this? Some of the stuff, I'm like, did you guys just break up and this is just an excuse to not move on? Or did somebody, like, really betray you by cheating on you? you and now you're fucking with them. I thought you were like if they cheat on you multiple times, do you have the right to get mad? I thought you thought. Yeah,

but like, can you fuck with them? Is it a little more understandable fucking with people like this? Yeah, within the bounds of the law. You can do whatever. I don't think so. I think that if you're going to like lie to me and be places that you,

you know, I don't think you are and have sex with another person and come into my bed and have sex with me, I can do anything I want to you. After a few weeks, then you know, I mean, I get the emotional response.

Yes. Yes. Just think of the, story you want to tell years down the road. Do you want to be like, he cheated on me with my friend and he was lying and he did all these terrible things? And then someone's like, well, what did you do? And you were like, nothing. If that's the story you want to tell. But if the story you want to tell is I ruined his life, it's like, who do you want to be? You're not right or wrong. Well, nothing is more like, well, it's more like I realized how lucky I was in that moment to not have this person in my life.

And so I just chose to like, you know, obviously work through my hurt. But like, yeah, I didn't do anything. Yeah, that's the best possible. Yes. And you five, 10 years from now will always wish you handled yourself with more grace and more class than if you, you know, pay their car. Yes. I think the answer also like nothing. The answer is like I moved on and moved my own life, went to law school, glowed up, whatever you did.

I keyed him at my ex's car. In all fairness, he tried to run me over. Oh, no. Okay. We have some emails for you, too, but I slept with his best friend. See, that's not good. I think it's really, like, I think the, the best friend did it too. You know, damage, not that I ever have, and I don't condone it. But having a triggered reaction from, say, someone cheating on you and, you know,

damaging a little property, whatever. But like, I hate for people to ruin their character because someone mistreated them. You know, like sleeping with someone's best friend, like you're not any better than the person who just cheated on you. Well, but after you break up, especially if there was any sort of like infidelity involved, you don't have loyalty to that X anymore. No. The friend should have loyalty to his friend. I understand that. But like I'm just saying morally, like, you're.

You're fucking with a friendship. You know, like, I'm just saying, like, that's a low character thing to do. It just is. I mean, you might be mad and whatever, but, like, you're allowing the person who's cheating and you to win twice when that happens. You know? If someone's driving you to do something where you, again, keying someone's car, that's kind of funny, whatever.

They can pay to get that back. Nick, we are opposites. I know. I am over here, like, who cares if you sleep with this friend? The friend's supposed to have the loyalty, not you. It's your character. Character matters. And like you're doing something that it would ultimately be something you wouldn't normally do.

Would you normally key somebody's car? No, but like, I can picture being really, like, how tall is the friend? It seems far less premeditated. King someone's car, you're just like, and you're kind of like, fuck, that just happened. You know, like that can happen in seconds. That could out with a dick, though. Someone's friend, you have to call, you go, you got to, you got to. Okay, what if I ran, I'd always been attracted to him and I ran into him at a bar.

I'm not doing it to hurt my ex necessarily, but I'm not not. I just think, if you just fuck a God that you've always had a crush on and you're not doing it to ruin a friendship. Motive matters to you. Yeah, it's like if someone does something to you, it hurts you and they have a low character moment. Like, personally, I think they win twice when you do something out of character that affects other people's lives in a way that could be damaging to them. Like, you're just never going to feel good about it. Like, I just don't think you are in the long run, you know? We're going to fuck the friend.

But I just, I am with you when it comes to character. Like, your sentiment is exactly spot on. But I am of the mindset of like you have no more loyalty to your ex. The friend, that's his loyalty. I'm not saying you have, I agree, you don't have any loyalty. I agree that you have no loyalty to your ex and you have no obligation to protect that friendship. Right, right. But you were a catalyst that ended their friendship.

That did it. And you did it for the purposes of ending. it. And like that's just something that you probably won't feel good about yourself or hopefully you will. Yeah. You know, once you move on and heal because. That's fair. And then you allow that person, like that's the thing I always try to focus on or try to tell people, especially when they're having a hard time moving on with someone, is this like you giving them your energy is like, and what do they say about life? It's short. It's like we don't get today. We'll never get today back, you know? And if you use today to do something that added no value to your life, and then you're also potentially

might regret it when you could be, I don't, going back to law school or whatever it is, or like volunteering or something, I don't know, or like reaching out to a friend that maybe you abandoned while you were so loved drunk in this relationship and taking them out and reconnecting is just, I don't know, a lot more positive energy that you're putting into this. And once you get over the pain, you will be very glad that you did those things as opposed to like ruin some, you know,

someone else's, you know, like what if, for example, in the, you know, this friendship that the friend you realize is the person who never really got the girls or whatever. And like, not that they were, not that it's okay, but you, you kind of prayed on the fact that

you made their day and like kind of like, yeah, they shouldn't have done that. They should have been a better friend. But like, you maybe prayed on their weakness to hurt someone else. And it just, it, I definitely believe in karma, you know?

Yeah, it just depends on what the guy did. Yeah. I just, I like what you said about the notion of like, when you were through this pain, whatever it is, a couple years,

what do you want to look back and say the story was? And I, I've done things after a breakup, but I've looked back a couple years later and been like, I don't have to like tell their friends the stuff I told them. I didn't have to say the things to their family that I said.

Like, I didn't have to do that. But I could also forgive myself because I know that I was, operating through the lens of like extreme amounts of pain. You're out of body. You are a crazy different person then. I can forgive it.

People get cheated on too and they might say some terrible things. Yeah. That they would maybe never say to, you know. But in that moment, you know. My ex cheat on me, I broke all of his thing. Yeah. I used to say. We're all human.

Yeah. But I like what you said. You have to forgive yourself and give yourself grace and not be like that's definitive of who I am. And I also think it's really nice to look back on a way. way that you used to be and know you would never do those things today and that's growth and that's really important and you should always like pat yourself on the back but yeah I'm with you I mean in a perfect world we don't let these people get to us and we just move on and improve our own lives and

but sometimes it goes the other way and I think that's human nature and I also like what you said of like how much time you really give somebody because we spend months years of our lives sometimes when we could have been doing other things finding someone else and you that's the thing I I think a lot of people look back at and regret. Learning anything. Or they've lost, you know, improving themselves,

making a friend. Just enjoy an experience. And that's the thing. I think about like exes that I've had. I mean, I don't, I guess I could look them up on Facebook, but like I don't know what they're doing.

They're not a part of my life. These are people who were like at one point in my life, my entire life. And now they're just strangers to me. You know, and that's kind of for, you know, ideally for every ex you ever have.

Eventually it has become a distant memory. But you, that's my kind of my point is, whatever you do, to process your breakup. That'll always stick with you. It'll be a memory and they won't be. You know?

And so just be careful, you know, that you're going to, you're doing all these things for a person who is eventually going to be a stranger in your life. There will be a distant memory. But how you, you'll either be proud of how you acted or you won't be. I like that notion. Yeah. Like that, that will be a stranger one day. So this is just sort of like emotional cutting on yourself.

Yeah. Okay. So we're going to go through. a couple emails with you and see what you think. And again, we asked people to send us submissions that were psycho or power move. So we decide whether they're a psycho or power move or you know, somebody's a little bit of both. Okay. So I feel like this is very relatable. The first one is about Instagram behavior. She says, well, I turned into that psycho X today. We split two weeks ago and the one thing I asked from him so that we could remain friends, which that's debatable,

whether you want to remain your friends. Yeah. It's not your friend. Was to please not start commenting and adding girls. on social media immediately, et cetera. I know I shouldn't have looked, so that is a moot point, but I saw that he had added two girls he met on a dating app during our last breakup. This is a hot mess.

How does she know he met girls on a dating app during the last breakup? And he dropped one, a comment saying, those eyes, and then the 100 emoji. Rather than keeping my composure and grace, I lost my shit by calling and texting like a maniac, said hateful things, and went back and forth for over an hour via text.

I just don't understand after three years he could have zero regard for my feelings and automatically seek validation from the same people. I'm not young and neither is he, and I know better, but the devil himself took over me. Now I feel like a heroin addict that got a fix, but I know tomorrow I'll wake up feeling horrible, which she just validated everything we just said.

Like you did a thing that makes you feel bad about yourself. I love the heroin analogy too. Yeah, and the devil. I mean, I understand her being like, I asked you this one thing and you did this thing very publicly, and it's immediately after this breakup and I'm still healing. And I go back and forth, like three years with somebody, I mean, if I was supposed to be for three years,

and the next day they started commenting on other girls' Instagrams, I go back and forth because I'm like, you broke up, tomorrow that person can go out with somebody. You broke up. That person does not think they're in a relationship with you anymore. But to publicly do it feels...

But don't you feel like the framing, if you can get there in your mind, is like, aren't I glad we broke up? Like, this guy is no regard for my feelings. Like, I don't want to be with somebody who could have shown me some respect and decency and did the exact thing. that he knew I was insecure about him doing,

he went and did it anyway. Like, hopefully you can tell yourself, like, I dodged a bullet here, but that takes a while to get to that point. It does, but also, like, the hard truth of this is that this isn't about you trying to protect the memory of a relationship that's now over. It's just, we all, all of us, our egos,

we don't want people to get over us. You know, we don't want it to be easy to move on. We feel, she feels embarrassed. The reason why she's so, angry, it's not because he did something that, like, ruined the memory of her relationships it's now over. It's because she doesn't want to feel embarrassed and have her friends see this, which is totally human.

I get it. Totally. You know, but, like, yeah. You're so right. Those are the two things. Like, the embarrassment, the public embarrassment or, you know, the public square on Instagram. We want to know we're hard to get over. And that, too.

I mean, I've always said this. Like, the couple years my ex and I were together, went back and forth off and on. And then the next year when, like, I moved away and we still talked. lot. We were done. I wanted the relationship to end. I moved away. You know, I made the decision, but nothing hurt worse than when he got a new girlfriend. And we still communicated a little bit more, but I would say, like, him moving on with somebody else hurt worse than like the initial breakup. Because instead of seeing it the way you should have, your ego was like, wait a second. Yeah. And your ego started asking you, what does he like her more than you? And what is than that?

It really fucks you up. Like, nothing hurt worse than that. Because I always could say, like, He still, we still have feelings. Even though we're volatile and fighting back and forth, we still are connected and he still has feelings for me and vice versa. And we actually moved on with somebody else. It was like a dagger to the heart. And it's our ego. I mean, our ego wants all our exes to like die a slow death, a lonely slow death.

Yeah. And never find love ever again no matter what we say. Of course. I just, you lay in bed on a loop and imagine those people together and you're just like, is he treating her better than he treated me? Is he changing for her the things that I wanted to change for me? Right. He's not.

But you know, you kind of hold on to this maybe and it becomes a definitely not. And somebody else gets this thing and you tell yourself all these lies that you make up in your head. He's doing one of two things. He is, one, doing all the nice things he did with you in the beginning of the relationship when he was trying to impress you. Or two, overcompensating with someone who was willing to do something you never were. And now he's seeing something in her because, like, you know, you guys fought about something and this person's willing to do it. And he thinks she's just amazing because this one thing and he's just blinded by, you know, but it's, yeah.

I understand her wanting to call him and text him and go crazy, but I do think the reality of this, it's harder to get to in actuality. But the reality is your contract that said, I will not hurt you ended the day that you guys broke up. And he is allowed to do these things. And so for you to go back to him and ask the person who's hurting you to also help you feel better about this,

it's misguided. And let's also be real about relationships when they end. It's not as if, you know, unless, say, someone cheats on you or, you know, there's an abrupt ending where you're caught off guard or something. But the reason people break up

is because there's over a period of time, they start disconnecting. And they start disconnecting more and more often on a more and more regular basis. And finally, someone has the guts to say, maybe we should end it. But, like, emotionally, you know, people are starting to check out,

you know, they're starting to wonder what it's like to be single. You know, and things like that. So them getting back on the dating apps and messaging people, it's not as if, like, one day you guys were completely in love, and the next day, now you're broken up and they have to process this, which is what we want to think. But that's just not the reality.

And to Ashley's point, it is, what he did is unkind. It's not nice. It's not necessary. For sure. You can go on dates with people. That's your private life. You don't need to be publicly commenting on these girls' photos. It would make me crazy.

Yes, like this, kind of this question. actually said though the unkind thing is kind they don't deserve credit for doing the unkind thing but it is the kind like it's the kind thing to do when i you know when people ask me when they want to break up with someone what should i do i'm like don't don't be mean don't deliberately be mean but don't be afraid to be the bad guy you have to be the bad guy it's the kind thing to do to be the guy you want to be short concise and direct and and not that like you don't want to be empathetic and you don't want to be there. You're not their therapist. You're not their support system anymore. And I know that's very hard to do because you, you know, for some relationships, you are that person, but you,

you have to disconnect. And to the point of almost the best breakup, the, I think that honestly, the kindest breakup in the long run is when that person thinks, like, they ask you like, you're so cold. Why you're being like that? That's what I was thinking. Yeah, I don't even know who I'm talking to. I don't even know who I'm talking to. Like, you're doing it the right way. Yeah. Now that I'm thinking about this, and I love what Nick said about, like, that feeling of being embarrassed. like someone moving on and I just this like brought me back because now I'm remembering the way I used to feel when I would see my ex or whether we were off and on commenting on other girls' Instagrams and the feeling is it takes over your body like when she says the devil took over like I remember

that this is like washing over me how bad that felt and so I want to like validate the feeling and hopefully our conversation has helped to realize like the root of it but I also just want to tell her like stop looking at that shit like you got to self-preserve like stop looking at the girls stuff you know number one stop pretending you guys are going to be friends. And that too. Those two things. Like, you block him. Who cares? Then you won't see his comments. Like, figure out how to not look at this stuff and certainly don't seek it out. Like, know that you're seeking it out so you can feel hurt. You know, like, your friends aren't really probably seeing

this. You know, like, you have seeked it out on these girls. Like, stop the behavior. So there's something in there that she kind of like brushed over is that she insinuated that this is like not the first time they've broken up. Right. So already in the back of her mind, part of her behavior is a result of she's not totally done. You know? Yes. Yes. If you got back to other ones, you can get to back together twice, you know?

And so she's obviously probably struggling with actually, is this really done or is this like a lot of her, you know, let's stay friends and how he's treating her now, you know, is this something they're going to have to argue about when they get back together? You know, just more baggage. And, you know, I guess my only advice to that is like, stop doing these like mini breakups or breaks or either work on your shit you know and you know whether

it's couples therapy you know it's like couples therapy is a lot less expensive than getting back together with someone over and over you know people always talk about yes therapy is expensive for sure but it's honestly way more expensive to waste all your energy on a person who doesn't want it honestly you could literally get a second job with the amount of energy sometimes some of us like, and I was that person, obsessively just looking at things that I shouldn't be or thinking about things. It was just hours, days, you know, like, I could have made a lot of money doing that, you know? And when you think about it that way and try to quantify it, you know, like, you know, it's just,

sometimes you got to think about what not getting therapy costs you, you know. Yeah, and just stay off their social media. I can't stress it enough. Like, the things that I have like gone on to see with an X where I'll go to their social media and I'll see something they've posted about their ex-girlfriend will take me out for days. And it's like that game you played when you're a kid, like the floor is lava.

Their social media is lava. Don't go there. You're never going to see something that you like. And why expend your energy on it? I mean, there's been days of my life that have been spent just being devastated about something that I shouldn't have looked at. You know?

Okay. Next email. I think you'll like this. I'm writing in for a psycho power move that I've not done yet because I can't decide, which we can still stop. We can still stop you. I can't decide which one it would be. Long story short, my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me very suddenly,

and then I found out a few weeks later that he had cheated on me with one of my friends and just didn't have the balls to tell me. I knew that he had cheated on other people in the past, but I gave him a chance anyway, and now I feel like a clown. The question is, should I write a letter to his mom telling him what he did and has done under the cover of telling her he needs serious help? But also, I want her to know who she raised. it would be a handwritten...

No, no, no. Read that part. I'm reading it. Don't leave this out. I am not her biggest fan. So she doesn't even like the mom. That's important. But she's not a fan of the art she created. You know what I mean? She doesn't like the artist or the art. Okay. It would have been a handwritten mailed letter because I feel like it would just make the point better than text. Is it psycho or power move? Should I do it? Absolutely not. Oh my God, no. Can you imagine she delivers a handwritten letter? She's, well, that's what so, and I, again, we let's acknowledge that, like, these are very normal feelings and, you know, you know, we've all thought should I tell us mom.

You're not a crazy person, but this is a crazy thing you're considering doing it. And you're so blindsided with your rage that your perspective on this is literally opposite of what it should be. The handwritten, no, you will look more crazy. You will look. So send the text. I'm kidding. I mean, everything she's talking about, she's like, the more energy I put into this,

the more serious people will take me, you know? Also, I want this, for all the ladies out there, I don't care how close you are worth his mom. Amen. Go off. It's her son. She's not going to take your side. Yep. She's not.

Even if she yells at him, even if she's disgusted with his behavior, it's her son. And no mom needs you reaching out to tell her about how she was as a mother. First of all, that's not going to go well. Second of all, like, you know, she's going to protect her son, you know. And so you're definitely wasting your energy. I'm not any of the I'm I'm a great boyfriend I will I'm a great boyfriend I'm not a perfect guy I'm

I'm annoying as fuck you I you know I I've I've pissed off a lot of girlfriends like I've definitely I've given the ick but like I'm a good boyfriend you know but like I remember I've had girlfriends that I've you know and the relationship and my mom is a as a great girlfriend mom my mom is easy to be around not opinionated she's always nice it's always important or have relationships with her son's girlfriends and things like that. And like, yeah, they would call my mom up. And bitch about me. And my mom was like, what are you doing?

Like, what do you think you're doing? Like, do you really think I'm going to respond the way you think? That is the last person in the world that is ever going to take your side. And even if you get from somebody's mom, I can't believe he did that. He is going to explain it away to her. And you're going to come from the wrong person. Like, that's not the person. It's not going to go the way you want to.

You know what I went to my engagement party. I was with somebody for three. a half years, I was very close with his mom at my engagement party. She said to me, I'm so glad to have a daughter. I'm so happy. I couldn't imagine somebody better. We broke up the next day. I never fucking heard from her ever again. She was not on my side. She, and I never expected her to be. And my mom said to me, don't ever expect to hear from these people ever again. That's how it should be. That's how it is. Yeah. I mean, every situation is different. You know, some people do stay in touch with the family. I think the family's loyalty is obviously the parents to their kids.

If that happens, it's always... No, this is weird. Just, yeah. Just, no. Don't do this. If it does happen, there's exceptions to every rule. But just like when people try to stay friends with their ex, you're not doing it for genuine reasons.

You're saying it to still stay connected just in case. Another point I do want to make, too, is this like, she mentioned that this person had cheated before. I am a big person. I think risks are important to take. You know, I think grace is important to offer to people. But like if you're going to take a risk, recognize your risk and hold yourself accountable for the risk that you took. That doesn't mean that you emotionally beat yourself up if the, you know, when he cheats on you, oh, it doesn't make you an idiot.

Yeah, of course. That doesn't, no. Yeah, because she calls herself a clown and I just, I don't think you are. You're not a clown. You took a chance on someone. Totally. But you did take a chance. So you're not a clown, but don't, don't react like, like you're shocked either.

Yeah. Don't react like you couldn't, you didn't see it coming or you can't believe. it happened. Don't write his mom a letter to explain, you know, some... That she raised a cheater. Yeah. God only knows why he did this or what trauma is he experienced. Yeah. I'm saying that's the tone that would be. I just also want to validate the way you feel crazy and she will probably... He also slept with her friend. So totally. She knows she shouldn't do this. That's why she wrote an email to us about it, you know, or she ought to have done the letter. So she will look back on this and be like, I can't believe I considered that. I mean, again,

we can't stress enough. Like, we look back at some of our past behavior and be like, who was that person? You're completely. overcome by all these different emotions. So I just want to validate because she's thinking of like, what is the meanest thing I can do? And I think we've felt those feelings before when you feel so hurt and betrayed by somebody. I'm willing to bet she didn't, he didn't sleep with a friend,

but an acquaintance. Not a close friend. That's funny that you said that because I, when I read the email, I thought not a close friend also. She kind of glossed over the friend part. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

And if it was like a dear friend, it was not a dear friend. I feel like there would be. I can feel like it's not like best friend. I think we're all validating. shouldn't be fucking with. Yes. I think we're all validating

that this is really painful, but I don't think that this is going to do for you what you think it is by contacting his family. And not that I'm in the business of giving this guy any credit. But again,

thinking of silver lining. But like, yeah, he at least ended the relationship. He at least, you know, he was too chicken to tell me. I guess, sure. But at least he didn't try

to keep the relationship going and lie and do it behind your back or like, and at least imagine if you found, out that he cheated on you a year ago and you know like I don't know it's just like you do have to find this to like everything we've been talking about this past hour it's just like part of working through all this pain and these triggering moments is to find the silver lining I mean one thing

getting older and being more emotionally regulated has taught me it's just like and honestly like when I think about what I do on ask Nick when people call me in and it's like every episode I'm like I'm not a fucking therapist I don't diagnose you just be careful you know like I'm always kind of couching what I say just in case. But like, the truth is, like, A, I'm just sharing my advice from a lived experience that I have. But all I am doing with people

is I am just simply offering them a different perspective from someone who's not emotionally involved. Everyone who's writing in is emotionally triggered. They're emotionally involved. They're seeing the situation through, you know, blinders. And every situation we go into,

there's always a different way to look at something. There is always a silver lining. And sometimes you have to reach for that silver lining, But finding those silver linings is a great way to get through some of the shit, you know? And if you find yourself unwilling to look for the silver linings, then that is a sign that you are holding on to the pain. That is a sign not only that you can't let it go, but you're unwilling to because anyone can consider the possibility of a silver lining. I like that. And yes, these two scenarios, he broke up with me suddenly and I found out later that he had slept with somebody else.

and I am still with him and found out he cheated on me are very different. And so he ended the relationship. I didn't know where you were going to go with that, but I'm with you. All right. We have one last one. We love cuckoo. Okay. My friends hated my ex.

So when I told them I was finally breaking up with him, I gave them the password to my camera app so they could watch the breakup. I covered the recording light with a black sticker so he wouldn't notice and they watched the whole cringy hour of it. afterwards I went over to their house and we laughed and talked shit about it and they gave me notes. The way I would tune into that. I would sell tickets. This would be behind a paywall. This would be on a Patreon.

I kind of love it. I mean, is it mean and petty for sure? But like, I'm going to assume that he was undeserving of her and probably a duchbag dick kind of boyfriend. And there's valid reasons why they didn't like this guy. If you guys are doing this, send us the login. Yeah, we want to put it on a Zoom. We'll do it a girl's going to be live show.

That'll be the show. We'll sell tickets. We'll give you a part of the proceeds. I mean, I guess it is like violating privacy. I mean, let's just like, let's just like,

I don't know. I want to, it's probably not okay. This also sounds like you're probably in college. You know, like I don't think, like if Ashley was like, she's 35.

Could you die? I need to know. Okay. I do want to hold there. Either or. I think a 35 year old is capable of such a thing. Like, you know what I'm picturing is the,

um, we'll put this on the screen. Is the impractical Joker's like, meme of them? of them behind the camera, you know. I don't know what to say. They're all just like laughing. Yes.

Like everybody's got their popcorn out. Like I'm sorry, this is insane. Like, no, it's not right to do. But I got to watch this. That would be great though if you could help a friend break up with like having an earpiece. Also, it sounds like she's got it. I think she had it covered.

If I was the girl doing the breakup, the show I would put on for people. I'd be telling jokes. I'd have a whole set. I'd be doing bits. You think he was crying? Yeah. Yeah, I'd have different camera angles. I'm like,

we need the camera on him for when he starts to cry. Like, the whole production is so. I'd be like, Anna, edit this later. Let's send it off. I just hope just a little bit she has just,

for her own humanity, I hope she has just a smallest amount of guilt. Because it is mean. Yes. Filming stuff. I mean, the way I look at the camera and make a face. I really hope this guy was an asshole too.

If you brain and you break the fourth wall, you just wink at your friends. Especially when you deliver a line, you're like, I give him like the okay with my fingers. mirrors. I'm like, yep, got them. You're just like, you might drop. Like, what? Did you just drop a mic?

Yeah. Yeah, just don't know. No, don't worry about it. Like, bye, bitch. And you're like, you tell your friends. You're like, I'll see you in an hour. He's like, who are you talking to? Yeah. No, filming people is not okay. Like, we've heard of people like turning their voice memo on or their camera to film people. It's not okay to film people without their consent. Just as, as a rule. You get sued. Tom's Hannibal. But the way that then she went over and they got to recap it. Yeah, that's a moment They will share forever.

It wants you forever. I hope somebody does this for me. I think she's like the icon in her friend group. Yeah. They call her mother. She's got some basic bitch name like Ashley. Like, you know she does.

Oh my gosh. No, it's, yeah, filming people without their consent. I don't know how to answer this one. Psycho or power move. It's just funny. We like the story.

If somebody did it to me, I mean, like that. For the purpose of this game, it's a power move because no one was really hurt. I'm assuming, I hope he didn't find out about it. So it's a victimless crime.

But the thought of having it done to me makes me want to throw up. It's definitely mean. It's bully behavior slightly. Again, especially if we just, like, I would hate if these girls didn't like him just because they thought he was like a loser or gave him an ick and they were just kind of mocking him. Yeah, I mean.

But if it was like he was just like a video game playing, you know, guy who never appreciated her. And it took, then, you know. Yes. It just, you know, when I think about this, I could cry. You know, if I think about someone breaking up with me filming it, his friends get to log in, like the thought of it genuinely makes me sick. So again, that's a matter of like, do to others what you'd want done to you. But listen, I still would be tuning in.

Yeah. But it's not crazy. What? It's a little crazy. You know, crazy like our other stories, it was like, I lost my shit. And I did this thing that you're just like, why would you do that? And I think we all kind of agreement while like we're trying to like acknowledge what's wrong and put ourselves in their shoes.

Like this was a well thought out executed plan. There was passwords exchange. And there was like that. And I just hope not crazy. Here's what I hope. Wrong, maybe. What I think would be really mean is if she told him. But again, we don't know.

This guy could be the worst person on the planet. I hope he never finds out. I hope he never finds out. Yes. And that's what I'm saying, a victimless crime. Yes. And again, he could be the worst person in the world. still know, but I...

I'm gonna, I'm gonna tell myself, he's a terrible boyfriend. Terrible. Yes. It doesn't sound like she then said, like, by the way, we all watch that, he-he-he, you know? I think when all your friends hate your boyfriend, he's probably pretty shitty to you. I think he's inconsistent, he doesn't show up for you, he talks down to you. I'm telling myself

he was terrible to her, and this went nowhere. You went and talked to your couple girlfriends about this after, no one else except for hundreds of thousands of people listening right now, ever found out. Also, they laughed and talked shit and they gave me notes. What are the notes? I need more. Let's have been funnier.

Call into us, Nick. We need more. Okay. Well, I hope you enjoyed the conversation, you guys. And Nick, we hope you have a good time. You guys have to tune into his podcast three times a week. Yeah? Yeah, plug all your stuff.

Well, we do Ask Nick on Mondays, which is very, it's all relationship-driven people write in with their stories. Most of them are very relatable, a lot of like people call in because they can't move on from their situation ship or having a hard time moving out from a boyfriend, you know, or just having a hard time dating all the above. And sometimes you get crazy stories like not too long ago. A woman called him because she was on only fans. And her husband wanted her to get off.

Last, the other day I just talked to someone whose new boyfriend got back on the dating apps to sell insurance to women. You know, so some of them are kind of outland. Guerrilla marketing. Yeah. No, seriously. So, yeah. So if you're looking for just both fascinating stories and some maybe sage advice, that's, on Monday. Tuesdays and Thursdays, we have a reality recap, which is very much the kind of your

variety of variety show where we talk about pop culture and cover a variety of reality TV shows. And then Wednesday, when we have a worthy guest, we have our going deeper episodes for like Gypsy Rose or your big reality TV stars or there's one coming up. I'm really excited about. When will it drop? You can say it if it's going to. It hasn't happened yet. Oh, okay. But there's been an agreement. I will speculate wildly. Maybe December. Okay. But yeah. So, and then we We like to go deep and just really get to know our guests and kind of humanize them in a way that maybe you didn't get a chance to see. So, and that's, uh, on Wednesday. Then we have Vifi Plus.

So, but yeah, where we've recap Vendipham. Oh, I want to come on and do it. Okay. Well, you guys have tons of stuff to listen to on the vial files. Also buy his book. Don't text your ex. Happy birthday. And that's it.

Great to see you ladies. Yes. So happy for all your success. Love your show. And you. And you guys know where to find us. Girls Gotta Eat.com to get tour tickets this weekend. We will be in Denver, Minneapolis.

and Madison, so we can't wait to see you guys. Western cowgirl theme dress up. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's where next from. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Maybe no go be there. Come to, come to Madison. We'll be at the Orphium. So grab tickets. Girls Gotta Eat.com. Girls got to eat podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I'm Ash Hess. Rain is Rayna.com. Subscribe on YouTube. Share this episode with a friend. And we will see you Thursday. Have a good week, guys. Bye.