Girls Gotta Eat - Be Your Own Rich Man feat. Money Coach Nicole Victoria

Episode Date: February 1, 2021

We're talking about moneeeey again! This time, we're joined by financial coach Nicole Victoria who shares a wealth of important knowledge and tips for shifting your mindset around money, making more of it, investing (and yes, for people who have no idea where to start), who to trust with your dollars, real estate investments, and more. We also discuss why A MAN IS NOT A PLAN (just saying it louder for the people in the back), and the importance of women having financial security. Plus, we have a recap of Ashley's date with the older man, an inadvertent roast by Rayna, and fresh recs. Enjoy! Follow Nicole on Instagram @nobudgetbabe and find more on her website. Follow us @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Rayna @Rayna.Greenberg, and Ashley @AshHess. Check our website for show dates and merchandise. Thank you to our partners this week: Hello Tushy: Go to hellotushy.com/gge for 10% off. Bright Cellars: Visit brightcellars.com/gge for 50% off your first 6-bottle box. 21+, some state restrictions apply. Rory: Try out your personalized treatment for just $5 at hellorory.com/gge. Earnest: Get $100 bonus at earnest.com/gge. Terms and conditions apply. Visit earnest.com/licenses for a full list of licenses. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And I feel like his place isn't in the finances, just as much as your place isn't in the fucking kitchen. Like, stop trying to marry a breadwinner and go out there and learn how to be a breadwinner. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Got to eat. Welcome back, February 1st. In the tundra, seven degrees outside. But that's what our favorite month. It is our favorite month.

It is our anniversary is this month. Today, if you're listing on Monday, February 1st, it's the day I moved to New York City, February, or in 2017. Aw. Four year anniversary. Oh, I love the New York. I love a New York City anniversary. I love that you still celebrate it.

I celebrate mine. Mine was Labor Day and I still celebrate it. Any reason to celebrate in these dark times. Yeah. Okay. We have a few quick announcements. We're going to get through them and then we're going to get into all the stuff. We have an email list now.

Yes, we do. You can sign up for it. Get announcements? Yep. There's a pop-up on our website. You can just sign up for our email list and we will send you cool fun offers. Yeah. Live shows, merch, whatever.

Yeah. And really our goal is that the, people on the email list get everything first. So the announcement of live shows, and especially when we get back out on the road, whenever that may be, those people are going to get the tickets first or they're going to have access to the tickets first because they're going to know about it first, new merch, like whatever it is. And, you know, maybe one day we're just going to want to say hi, we're going to give out a little butt stuff Valentine's Day tip. Who knows? We're going to do whatever. We have, give us your emails. We want to talk to you. What if you opened your email and it was just like

butt stuff tips from girls got. He was just top 10 butt stuff tips. Yes. Premium content. I think we have a beautiful newsletter. And I want some. I want butt stuff. Yeah, exactly. So sign up for that. And like we said, announcements about live shows. We do have a virtual live show coming up. It is Thursday, February 11th. It is going to be incredible. You do not want to miss it. Watch it with your valentines, whoever those are, whether it's your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your best friends, your parents, your dog, like whatever. You will not be sorry. We have so much fun stuff. It just keeps getting better, better. We just keep adding to the lineup and it just keeps getting like so much better. I'm so amped about the guest list. I'm also so am to just

talk about your and my history with Valentine's Day together. Yes. So we spent all of them together. And we just planned, we just planned a nice little romantic week together. Yeah. You know? It's a tradition. We're going to be 80 years old and be like,

I still have to spend Valentine's Day with Ray. At least not to spend it with these wrinkly old balls. Not mine. Like my hypothetical husbands. Yeah, because we're totally going to have those. Yeah. So that's one thing. One quick thing, and I'll let Raina pop off about the merch, is tonight we're doing a spin class in honor of Dewey. Bobby Westside, our friend is, you've heard us talk about him before and he does these cycling classes, like there via Zoom, but you sign up at his website. And we were kind of like talking and about it. And I kind of mentioned something jokingly. And he was like, I would be so honored to do this for Dewey. And honestly, there's just so many songs we were going through the playlist. And there's like, so.

much that applies everything from like, I don't fuck with you to savage, to swagger like us, like to Halo, you know? So those are some teasers. I am so like emotional about it. It's going to be great. It's going to be tonight at 630 and you can sign up at Bobby westside.com slash GGE. There is going to be a cap because only a certain amount of people can be in it. So get it now. It's a $10 Venmo. You're going to Venmo. And we're going to be in there and we're going to be riding along and it'll be in honor of our king. A couple things. This is the first time Ashley and I've ever worked out together. I know, but I don't like, do we to bring us together.

See, he was the great unifier. But I just like, we won't even be like together. Do you want to come over? You said, you mentioned wheeling the Peloton downstairs. You could wheel it all the way to my place. What if I just wheeled the Peloton three avenues? You don't have to work out if you do that. You've done the workout.

You're like, here it is. But we'll be together in spirit. So anyway, see you guys there. So this is the first time we work out. And if you guys can't get in that class, Bobby has tons of classes. I take them all the time. They're $10 a class. And then you could do it on demand probably.

He has on demand. I take him on Izzy Live. That's his girlfriend. But they're a lot of fun. I just enjoy their dynamic together. Oh, so fun. I've never seen a couple just like workout. Like one of them does the workout and the other one just like calls out shit

and makes fun of the other person. It's a very funny dynamic. Anyways, Bobby Westside, it's $10 classes for and I take them all the time. Yeah. And we'll just link on our Instagram story, but it's just, it's going to, it's just like, yeah. It's just, Dewey's going to let his legacy is living forever. I am making sure of that. I'm so excited for the playlist.

I feel like you were meant to build this playlist. Did you build it or did Bobby? We collaborated. You did. But like he sent me what he was thinking. I was like same page. He said irreplaceable and I said, we're going with Halo.

I'm glad he ran up by you. And then he goes, what about rude boy? I'm like perfect. Now everyone knows all the song. This might be my favorite playlist. It's going to be so good. You know that I take like the same workouts

over and over again because I'm very specific about playlist. I know. This is going to be my favorite one. All right. See you guys there tonight. If you can get in. Yeah. We'll see you guys there.

Okay. You want to talk about that much? Yeah, guys, we have all new merch we released last week. I am so proud of it. We worked so hard on this. There's so many new items. You guys are loving the fuck around and find out cursive everything. The crops, the hoodies, everything.

We're just, we're really proud of it. You guys stormed the store. You're buying the mugs. All the sayings, hear me out, vibes only. The snackhead merch. There's caps, beanies, everything. Just check it out. It's all on our website at girlsguddypoddypod.

Shop. Remember to check your orders before you place the order? But we're just so excited to see you guys buying all this. Please keep tagging us in photos of the merch. We just love to see you guys just style it and at the gym, at home, wherever you are. So just keep tagging us in that. We're really, really proud and excited. Yes, I love it.

Fuck around and find out is big Dewey energy also. Yeah, see, he carries on forever. So go online, sign up for the email list, get the merch, the live shows. We do so much stuff that we're so proud of. We're excited. You want to be a part of it. And you're a part of our family. Yay.

Um, okay, something that I want to be a part of is catching up on this date that you had. Ugh, whatever. Like, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. Yeah.

Um, no, this is a date with the 39 year old. I said, I was going to date older guys and whatever. Like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, he kind of botched where we were going to meet. The place he wanted to go was closed and we went to another place that I literally felt like we were at the fire festival. Like, we were in the fire festival. like a shitty tent drinking hot Sochi out of a plastic cup. I love, every time you see a plastic cup, I laugh so hard because I just imagine it's just like

melting. I was like, I love the plastic aftertaste on this hot socky. Also like hot sockies are kind of trashy too, right? It's like, it's a trashy thing. Yeah, like why I made this plastic bag drinking sake out of plastic cup. So it was just the setting was awful. I was freezing. I was like, we're done here.

We're done doing this. And there are some setups that are really great in New York City. setups not when it's seven degrees out. No, nothing is going to keep you warm outdoors, but there are a lot of great outdoor dining setups, even when it's cold out, and this was not one of them. So it was physically uncomfortable. The day was fine. It was fine. I was like, I wasn't thinking this was my guy, but then just like kind of something weird happened. I was, I kind of left the date and I was like, I would go out with him again. I wasn't like so turned off by him. But then as soon as he got in his car to, we just hugged it out on the corner and then he got in a car and he was like texting me a bunch

like as soon as he left the date which I'm like oh that's like a sign that someone's very into you so you know me I'm like me I'll give it a chance right you know you're all juiced up turns me on you like me I was like oh like I maybe he's just more shy which I could tell he's just a he's just a more you know old like he's beating him down yeah he's just really old tired. He's like life, man. Is it over yet? Yeah.

It is weird though. I will say, like, the energy is different on a 39-year-old man as opposed to like a 28-year-old, which I, which who I had been dating. So anyway, I was just like, okay, maybe he's just like more reserved. He's not as outgoing as me and he was like a little more shy. And now he's like, he's had a couple sockitini's out of a plastic cup

and he's like wanting to like... The Seattle is starting to kick in. Oh my God. He's eligible for the vaccine. I'm just like, having a few side effects from the vaccine. He's like, back in my day, we had to walk to school because we didn't have cars. So he was hitting me with these texts, like kind of recapping funny stuff from the date. And then he said something along the line that we were joking about

how terrible the setting was. I was like, I feel like we're on a date at fire festival, whatever. He was like, it made it harder to flirt. I'm like, oh, shit, you know, because he was trying to be kind of touchy. I was like, okay. So this is somebody I would go out with again. I was even kind of like looking forward to it. I'm like, oh, cool. I can get to know this guy a little better. He's very attractive. I did find him very attractive. Absolutely. He's very, he really brings good face. And then the next day I texted him something that was kind of relevant to what we had talked about on the date. It was an article. And he responded a few hours later, which is fine, middle of the work day. I know he has

a kind of a high power job. He's busy. And then I responded to that and then nothing. So I will say that I feel like that's usually a pretty clear sign. You know what I mean? Like essentially you kind of left me on red. I thought we were going to have a conversation. I thought you were into this per your behavior last night, texting me a bunch mentioning that you wanted to be more flirty, yada yada. But I just don't care enough. You know, I'm going through my own stuff. I don't, you know, it's a pain in the ass to date anyway.

It's fucking freezing. So I just let it be. And I do think, had I felt that this was a real match for me that we really connected, I would have hit him one more time with like, would love to go out again. Because again, like we always say, I'm still a stranger. We spent two hours of her life together. It was cold.

It was weird. He might not be knowing how I'm feeling. And I think it's always. fine to go back in and like just know for sure. You know what I mean? If you really feel a vibe with somebody and you really want to see them again, like really deep in your gut, you want to be like, hey, I had a great time last night. I would love to go out again. And then you'll know, then you'll know if they want to see you again. But to me, I didn't care that. I didn't care enough. I felt like it was kind of a clear indicator that he didn't try again. The last, I sent the last

text, you know, in like the grand scheme of it all. Like it's, it's quote unquote his turn. If I was really into him, I would have tried a little harder. I don't want to. So that was it. I did And you sleep fine at night. You know it's not personal. Like you said, you're a stranger. Who cares? And if I text him now and was like, hey, you know, we should grab a drink sometime when it's a little warmer out

or when indoor dining starts again or whatever, I'm pretty sure he would probably go out with me again. Like, what else is he doing? What else am I doing? But it's just like, we're probably not a match. And so that's that. And I just think like, it's funny, you did ask me. You're like, are you still trying to be out here as it gets really cold?

I'm like, bitch, no. I was going to be how long you lasted. I mean, I don't want to do it. It's too cold. I can't. My juices are not flowing in the cold. I don't want to do it. I lasted one hour in a restaurant last night.

And that was it. And that was with one of my closest friends. So with a stranger, for me to be like, so what was you have any siblings grown up? Yeah. Okay, you did this thing though that I actually didn't think about to write the second, but I really like it.

I think a lot of people are like, what should my first follow up be after a date? And I love the idea of sending an article because it's purposeful. It's not digging for like, did you have a good time last night? Can I see you again? It's just like, I listened to this thing you said. I found this thing I thought was interesting. Also I can read. You know? I just, I think it's like a very purposeful, awesome follow-up to a first date. If you're like, I don't know what to say. I want to see this person again. It automatically opens up a conversation and it just shows somebody that you

care about something that they said. I love this follow-up. Well, thanks for saying that. And also, I thought we had a rapport going. Like, we traded a number of texts the night before after post-date. Like I felt comfortable doing that. I thought we were really, if I'm being completely honest, I was like, oh, I really do think that we're going to go out again and maybe I'll like enjoy him a little bit more in a better setting, you know, now that work got that first awkward day out of the way. But yeah, so I felt totally comfortable just being like, oh, here's that thing we talked about last night. And then just kind of felt like he just didn't give a fuck anymore. Again, it might have been those sockitini's. Maybe he's a lightweight.

Saki teen, I cannot. It was a nightmare. He probably checked into a nursing home. And then. Oh, my God. Stop it. It's not personal. It's not personal.

Maybe if that guy was like, I want to marry her, but that probably isn't going to happen. It doesn't. That's a fair. That's in the movies. That's fairy tales. Like, you know, the love at first night and a first date is like, it can happen, but it's rare. And then, like a few days ago, Raina just out of the blue starts going. And she's like, so all the dates you've been on recently. And she just starts naming off all these first dates I've been on.

I didn't not know where she was going with it. I was like just looking at her like, is this a roast? What did you say? I was like, listen, there's been, I was trying to, like, you've got on so many dates, you've really been hit the streets. There's old man, there's girl voice, there's friend zone, there's firefighter, and then there's a piece of shit. I can't come up with a better name for him.

I actually thought about, like, doing a funny segment today, but I couldn't hide it from you because I was going to tell you to, like, not look at our Instagram story, where I asked girls to send us the funniest names that they have in their phones for dudes. Because I was like, piece of shit, like, what do I call that guy? But anyways, yes, I was rattling off all these guys because I was trying to know why. There was no context.

That's true. I didn't just start bringing up all the failed potential relationships. Be honest, girl voice was pretty funny. Girl, yeah, you were like, okay, so old man, girl voice, friend zone. Fireman, piece of shit. Again, guys, these have all been outside. We all talk about COVID beforehand. I'm doing my best to be like very safe.

Yeah, they're always, yeah, I've always been. I'm not like going and mugging it down and like some. Mugging it down. They're also not all this week. Indoor orgy. Yeah, these been spread out since like September. But yeah. And the reason why you're asking is you were asking who paid because we were

chatting about just money in general. Yes. They have actually all, they all paid except girl voice. I will say, like, of those five guys, I knew I would never see. I knew I would never see Michael Jackson again. So I... Working title. Okay.

It's girl voice or my... His voice was Michael Jackson. I don't know if we said this in full. That's what it's what it sounded like. It was the most high-bitched, feminine, softest voice I've ever heard outside of, you know, the King of Pop himself. But I really wanted to make it known. Like, I don't want you spending any money on me.

We're going to go have these on this. Like I put my card down. I was like, I insist. I really didn't give you any context where I was asking. But I'm just very curious. And I feel like my view on who should pay has changed. as we've done this podcast longer. And I think when we first started, I just felt like everybody should pay for me for a first date. Of course, I now always offer to split on a first day,

because I don't think anybody owes me any money. You and I feel the same way. You said it really well. Nobody should be on the hook for an entire evening, you know? So if I can offer to split, I'm not going to make it weird. But like I make a real effort to actually split. Like I don't just like gesture for my purse. Like I really offer. And I'm not going to like fight you. Fine if you want to pay for it. But I don't think anybody owes me anything. I think that you know, whatever. If that's what you think is chivalry and you need to be treated like that, I mean, he needs to pay for everything. That's fine. Everybody has their own boundaries. It's not my truth. I don't think anybody owes me anything. It has to pay for a first date or any

dates. I'm happy when people pay. I'll offer, I'll do an actual, go to bring my card out. I'm not playing around. I'm happy to split. But like, you ask me out, we've had a couple drinks. Just get it. Don't make it weird. Well, I'm not going to fight you for it. Yeah. I'm not going to make it weird and be like, I have money too. Yeah. They know you have money too. You're there. Now you have like a full-blown, like, conflict on a first stage. Yeah. So, yeah, but those guys were all great about it and girl boys, you know, I insisted. So maybe we'll tap into this at a later date, like the pain thing.

We've been hearing some crazy stories about guys asking for Venmos after a day and things like that. So we might talk about that on a future episode. But yeah, so we are about to get into it. We just have a few quick recommendations for you guys. Yeah. I'm really excited for this recommendation because your friend Rob recommended our friend Rob. Flack on Amazon Prime.

It is an Amazon original series and it's about Anna Pacquin who is the star of it. She's an American living in London and she's a PR girl and it's just about this like really dark, seedy underside of like celebrity emergency PR culture. I love it because I think that like there's so many shows about like girls working in PR and this one's like pretty dark and I like that a lot. She has a Coke problem. She's an infidelity problem. Her sister's a part of it as well.

and they focus a little bit on the other people that work there. But it's not so, like, glossy and cute. I liked it. It's a little bit dark and heavy. Their mother has committed suicide. She's dealing with that. So a lot of different, like, themes. It's also pretty funny and sarcastic.

Oh, okay. So if you guys want to check it out, it's a series on Amazon Prime. I really enjoy it. I like Anna Pac-Wen a lot, too. Big X-Men fan, like to her and all the X-Men. I know her from She's All That. Who was she and she's all that?

She was all that. She was Freddie Princess Jr.'s sister. Oh, my God. High School sister. Remember, she did her, she did her makeup. makeup before the prom. That was her.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm an OG and a Pacwin fan. I think she went to the prom too. Okay. I have two quick ones. They're both on HBO, HBO Max, whatever. This one is cool.

The first one is a movie. And this is called The High Note. And this came out last year in 2020. Tracy Ellis Ross and Dakota Johnson. Did you know I'm a huge Dakota Johnson fan? No. I just, I love her. I think she has amazing range, 50 shades de Grey.

She was in How to Be Single. She is comedic timing. I'm a huge fan. And also Tracy Ellis Ross is just a queen. I mean, who doesn't love Tracy Ellis. Both of them. So Tracy Ellis Ross plays this kind of superstar singer comparable to like a Celine Dion, that kind of thing. You know, the kind of person that would have like a Vegas residency,

but they're not like putting out a bunch of new hits. And Dakota Johnson's her personal assistant. It taps in the music industry. It's great. I think it's a really feel good movie. I like the story. It was fun to watch. And I just love both of those actresses.

And then the other one is, I may destroy you, which I feel like some of you guys have probably heard of this. Every time I watched Insecure, I would get an ad for this after it, like in 2020. So this was a 2020 show. It is about sexual assault, rape. So a trigger warning there. It's a British show. It takes place in London.

It's about this woman. Her name's Arabella in the show. And she is raped and doesn't really remember. And she's trying to piece it together. And then it's the aftermath dealing with the trauma. And everything from her job, she's a writer and she's kind of like on her way to being like low-key famous. The guy she was dating before her friends, they have their own storylines as well. And they just, they really tackle a lot regarding sexual assault and consent.

So it's like the subject matter is heavy. But the show itself is it makes you think a lot. And there's some parts are a little hard to watch. But it's like it's not filmed so like dark and dramatically, I guess. Like there is some comic relief here and there. Like it feels a little bit. bit like the way it's shot is more is kind of like insecure and the music too so really great rap and hip hop music throughout the whole show and the person responsible for this whole show is

Michaela Cole she created wrote co-directed and executive produced and stars in it go off she's incredible you're like what am i doing with my life makes me feel very lazy yeah so i do recommend it uh i do understand some people may not want to watch that for the subject matter I personally have not experienced sexual assault, but what I imagine and also from reviews and articles I've read on the show for survivors of sexual assault, the show can be really relatable and healing.

So yeah, I may destroy you on HBO. And it treats the subject matter with respect. So I'm excited to check it out. My very last track is something very light that I'm excited to say. And it's a book. It's called From Scratch. It is the history of the Food Network.

And I've been wanting to read something that's just lighter. Okay. Recently. I grew up on the food network and on like Emeril and Bobby Flea and all these people and that's who babysat me after school. Bobby Fly baby sat me. If you guys are just interested in all, it's great history of food TV, of television

in general, of food in general. So check that out from scratch. It was written a few years ago. It's just a light, nice, easy, take your mind off shit read. Okay. Well, we have a really exciting episode today. I'm very excited. It is about money.

We've never done this before. We really focus on. and just ways to actually invest your money, no matter where you sit financially. So we're excited to focus on that. If you guys want really relationship-based money episodes about dating somebody that makes more money than you and you make more money than them, things like that,

there's two that we'll recommend. We did mo money, mo problems. That was July 9th, 2018. July 9th? That was my birthday. 2018? Oh, my 25th. Oh, my God.

I was a baby. You barely aged a day. And Ashley and I talk about our relationship history, dating people who make less money than us that we were no longer with. And also on April 8th, 2019, we did an episode called Money Talks with Ramit C.T. He's a financial advisor. Also a really fantastic episode, more relationship-based. And great role play at the end, how to ask for a raise. Yeah. So yes, Mooney, More Problems. July, 2018, Money Talks, April 2019. And we have an incredible

guests here with this day. Her name's Nicole Victoria. We'll get into with her shortly. I want to say really one disclaimer, you know, as we create this content, we, obviously know we're living in a COVID pandemic world, but we still want our content to be evergreen and we don't want to base everything around the pandemic because it's not going to last forever. But some things I do want to keep in mind, like we're talking about money today. We know people have lost their jobs. We know people are like, I don't have any fucking money.

How am I supposed to talk about investing money? Understandable. I didn't have money to invest when I was in my 20s job or not, you know? So I want to just be sensitive to that. these tips to me are going to be great, especially for, I think, younger listeners to just really think about this stuff, even if you don't put it into action. I wish I just were to listen to a podcast episode like this when I watched 25 and I was fucking broke and I wouldn't have necessarily signed up and started investing that day,

but it would have got the wheels turning. And I think it's just really great advice that we can all use. And then we also were talking about women choosing to work or not work, make an income, not make an income. And I think we need to be sensitive to the fact that a lot of women have had to leave their jobs or they've gotten let go for their jobs. And I think overwhelmingly, all the, like, I think it's some crazy stat of like 90% of jobs that have been like lost or due to COVID have, it's been women because women are the ones that are having to stay home and mothers. I mean,

stay home and take care of their kids. And we know there are so many moms out there that are like home with their kids and they would rather be at work, you know. So I just want to be sensitive to all these things. We know we're not living in a quote unquote normal world, but we're kind of giving advice as if we are because that's what we want to do. We want to have these, these episodes live forever. and we want you to do guys to really kind of give you advice that is long-lasting. So just always want to be sensitive to that. And we know people are dealing with a lot of shit. But we still want to be out here trying to give this advice.

And it's stuff that I wish I would have known in my 20s. And early 30s. I wish I would know this like last week. I didn't know any of this stuff. And we talked about this episode, but like I got too far. I couldn't ask. Yeah. So it's very funny that we're talking about the stock market a little bit today with like,

what's going on. This is the first time you've ever texted me and asked me if I know what's going on with the GameStop stuff. Do you? I do. Like, can I explain it? No. But yeah, like I watch the news. I mean, basically these people on Reddit, like, realized that this hedge fund was like shorting the GameStop stock and they bought a bunch of it jacked the price up and the hedge fund basically is billions of dollars out because of these Reddit people. So all you know, these people game the system essentially, which is funny, that it's called GameStop and basically almost put this

hedge fund out of business. I don't know. I don't know if they declared bankruptcy or not, but they lost billions of dollars. So anyway, I, I just thought that was interesting that, like, the court, this is like what's in the news. And we are talking about those talks today. But anyway, so I thought that was interesting. The memes have been great, as always. Yeah. All right.

All right, guys. We are very excited for our guests today. She is a CEO, money coach, and financial literacy advocate who specializes in helping women effortlessly manage their money and build bank accounts that never stop growing. Her brand, the no budget babe, is filled with coaching programs and courses. to help you achieve your maximum financial potential without restrictive budgets and giving up what you love.

Please welcome to the show, Nicole Victoria. Yay. Thanks guys so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here today. Thanks for being here. We're excited to have you. So you're coming to us from Toronto in lockdown. Yes. In lockdown. It's been fun.

Stuck inside the house. It's snowing all week. So it's been great. You look great. Do you wear this much makeup every day or it's just for us? you look beautiful. It's just for you. I appreciate it. I like set at my little desk here in front of my window. I'm like the natural light. Yeah. I know. We love it because sometimes we have gas and they're just like in the dark. They're backlit. We're like, get it together. All only men,

of course. Women are not. They know what they're doing. I need to look cute. They look great. I was like, wow, her quarantine look is tired. I do not look like this on a day to day level I met with my virtual assistant this learning. We're on Zoom. I'm like, sorry, don't mind me. I'm like, buttons like over here on the side of my head. We feel you. Well, we're excited to talk about money. We haven't done an episode specifically on money in about two years. We would love to just hear from you, like how you became an expert at this in general. Yeah, I mean, so I think I followed kind of a stereotypical path of what most millennials have done. You know, they go to school, they get into crippling student loan debt, they get the nine to five job where they sit.

the office every day and they're like, okay, this is what I was supposed to do to be happy and like achieve success or whatever it is. And I'm sitting there in my little cubicle and I'm looking around and I'm like, I can't afford a house. I can't save for my wedding. I can't do any of these things. And I'm like, how do I, how do I get to this next level? I'm like, how do I get this happiness that everyone told me I was going to have once I did all of these things? And I'm looking around me at the people that have, you know, the promotions. I'm like, maybe I just need a promotion and maybe that's how I'm going to, you know, get this happiness. And I'm looking at these people, I'm like, I'm not fucking happy either. Nobody's, nobody's happy. And like, I don't

understand what's going on. You know, I'm doing what I'm supposed to do traditionally. And it's not making any sense to me. So I'm like, there has to be a better way to do this. While I was in university, I budgeted really hard. I did like the jar method and the envelope method. And it just wasn't sustainable or maintainable. And I realize like there has to be a better way. to do this. I have like an existential crisis, like, why am I here? And like, what am I doing and all of this kind of stuff? And I came up with kind of my method that I teach in our coaching programs now, which takes a much different approach to personal finance. So I was able to actually pay off, you know, $40,000 of student loan debt in 18 months. And using this method, built up a $500,000 net worth

in my 20s. Wow. I just, I love this so much because I think we subscribe to the like, there's got to be a better way mentality too. You know, you like, even with the podcast, we're like, these podcasts are fine, but we can do better. I don't know. Like, it's just, you kind of look at something and you're like,

there's got to be a different way. So I just love that that was your mentality too. Yeah. And I also like, I got a curing and I was like, I'm saving $5 a week now on the coffees that I'm not spending. And it's like,

that's not going to lead to me being a millionaire. You know, it seems very granular and micro and not going to lead to big savings. Yeah. So tell us how you did that. Yeah. I think the biggest thing is, you know, I know a lot of people are looking for these like tangible, like, okay, this is the secret and we have the secret.

You just have to do this one thing. And everything's going to be super easy. And yes and no. So there are some tactics that I use to save big money. One of them is negotiating. Negotiating is huge for me. I save literally thousands of dollars a year by negotiating my bills. I, you know, I'm able to make more money by negotiating my salary.

And these are things that our clients coming into our. programs have done and had amazing success. With the girls coming in, they're like, hey, you know, Nicole, I was making a $5,000 bonus every year, but using your tips and your strategies and now making a $20,000 bonus, just from, you know, reading the scripts right off of the page because a lot of people, they're scared to do these things. They're scared to ask the hard questions. They're scared to ask for what they want.

And by making it super simple and just getting them out there and, you know, asking the questions, putting themselves out there, they're really able to achieve huge results. that they didn't think were actually possible. So there are definitely things like that that I did. But I think the number one thing was changing the way that I view and use money. Changing from, you know, you're seeing money as like, hey, it comes into my checkings account and I spend it on all the shit that I want. And then if there's some left over, I like did good.

And then I maybe put that into my savings account. And that was my plan before versus now where it's like, hey, you know, following a few simple rules, living on less than you make, paying your future self first, like that you in five years, 10 years, 15 years, what did they want? Right? What do they want? Asking yourself, you know, okay, five years ago, was there something that I wish I had to save for today? Probably, right? So if we're going to think, okay, five years, 10 years down the road, that me in five years or 10 years is going to want things. What do they want? Pay them first.

You will thank yourself later and focusing on that. So living on less than you make, paying your future self first, investing early and often. money you save and invest in your 20s is worth twice as much as money you save and invest in your 30s due to compound interest, which is huge, right? And a lot of people don't even realize there was a stat that I read that said

the average American makes, I believe, $1.6 million in their lifetime, but is expected to need $1.7 million to retire. So looking at this, it's like, even if you save every dollar you ever made, it's still not enough money. And it's like, well, what do we do? So it's about understanding the powers of compound interest, investing early and often,

you know, finding out what brings you to a feeling of enough instead of mindlessly spending on shit that doesn't actually bring you happiness, but you're hoping that will bring you happiness when you spend that money. And you've seen like the type that believes in multiple revenue streams, I assume. Yeah. We do too. I've always felt like that. And that can mean, you know, in terms of, let's say, you know,

do real estate and you also do influencer stuff and you also do whatever it is and then also like your investments as well. So I think like a lot of people, they have a job, they have a nine to five, they have their retirement 401K, hopefully, maybe not. I never had a job that had that. I worked in like PR, you know, so before I went on my own. So do you want to just chat on that a little bit like you're feeling surrounding multiple revenue streams and just speak on that? Yeah. So I definitely think multiple streams of income are integral to really building that long-term wealth. When you are only trading hours for dollars, meaning hours of your life for money, there is always going to be a limit to how much you can make. So if we're lucky, we get 700,000

hours in a lifetime. And that means, you know, for a specific job, there is a cap on how much someone's going to pay you hourly. And then there's going to be a cap on how many hours you can physically give to that job. So there's a limit to how much money you can make. Where you actually start being able to really grow that wealth is by multiplying those streams of income. So it doesn't necessarily have to all be active sources of income, meaning where you are trading time for money. The way that, you know, the difference in mindset between like, say, the middle class and the rich is where the middle class will trade their hours for dollars.

They will make money. They use that money to buy the things that they love. So they'll pay for their wedding. They'll buy their house. They'll buy a boat or whatever it is, right? They buy the shit that they want to consume versus the rich mindset is like, okay, I start off by trading my hours for dollars. Then I use that money to buy income producing assets. So rental real estate, stocks, whatever it is. Then when those assets make me enough money,

I no longer have to trade hours for dollars anymore. The rental real estate is making me money. The stocks are making me money. I can live off of that and then use that income to buy my houses and my cars and my luxury items or whatever else it is. Yeah. And so for somebody that's saying to themselves like, okay, well, I work in PR. I just got out of college last year. I make, I think my first offer for a PR job when I got out of college or an advertising from was like $35,000 a year. You know, and so I think some people are like, well, I only have like $20 left at the

end of the month. Is there ever like a time where it's too soon to start investing or is that $20 worth investing? Yeah, I don't think there's ever a time that it's too soon to start investing unless you have high interest debt and you have not saved an emergency fund. So, you know, the real estate. or sorry, the stock market goes up and down, right? It's always going to be volatile in the short term,

meaning if you're investing for a year or two years, could you potentially lose money? Yes, but over the long term, that's when we see the ability for people to make money. So you don't ever want to invest money that you need within the next five years at a very minimum, but the longer you can leave it in there, the better it is. So don't put your emergency fund into the stock market

and then your car craps out and you need to go take it to the mechanic and take your money out of the stock market, stocks could be down that day. And you're like, shit, I have to sell at a loss, but I need this money. So I have to sell. When you put yourself in a position where you have to sell your investments,

that's when you can potentially lose money. So first and foremost, you want to save up your emergency fund. I typically recommend six to 12 months of bare bones expenses. You put this in a high yield savings account, right? And it may sound a little daunting. You're like, holy shit, six to 12 months of expenses. But it's not as much as,

you think it is because it's bare bones, you know, what do you need basically to survive? And you start small, start off with $1,000 and then you start building up to three months. And then you build up to six months, right? It doesn't need to be this one huge, scary kind of goal all at once. Break it down. How much do I need to save every month, every week, every day? So that it becomes a little bit more palatable for you. Once you have that saved up, then you want to tackle that high interest debt.

Because if you can earn, you know, 8% in the stock. market but your high interest debt is 24.99% where are you going to put the money? You're going to get an automatic 24.99% return by putting that money onto your high interest debt. So you want to think where are my dollars going to work hardest for me? If you imagine, okay, I make $35,000 a year. Each one of those dollars is a little worker. I want to put them to work where they are going to make me the most money. So where are they going to make you the most money? In that instance, they're going to make you the most money by paying off your high interest debt. Once that's done, move that money over into stocks and you can start getting that

return there as well. I also think maybe if you do have that side hustle, whatever it is, like you have that Etsy store or something that's bringing in, even if it's just a couple hundred dollars a month or whatever it is, like that goes straight to whatever it is. I mean, everybody's situation is different. If you don't have debt, you can obviously start investing it. But I think sometimes that's even just an easy way to do it in your own head or you know, you you ate tables or your bartender, like you kind of have that side thing with your regular 9 to 5 that that goes straight somewhere.

And that's you, you kind of when you're doing it, you know, you're like investing in your future in a way, you know? 100%. And I think that's one of the things too is people don't actually, like, they're like, hey, I'm going to save money or okay, I'm going to invest.

But like, why? What is the purpose? What are you saving for? What are you investing for? Number one, knowing what you're saving or investing for is going to psychologically motivate you more to actually get out there and do the damn thing. And number two, when you know what you're saving for or investing for, you can reverse

engineer that goal. You can be like, okay, in 10 years, I want to have XYZ. What do I need to do today to make that happen? How do I build up to that? So yeah, okay, maybe it's like, I'm going to work weekends and I'm going to, you know, wait tables or whatever it is. Like when I started paying off my debt, I started working weekends as a receptionist in a real estate office, right?

And I was working my regular 9 to 5 during the week. I was working a receptionist job on the weekend. all of that extra cash was going towards my debt, right? Did it suck a little bit while it was happening? Yes, but I was able to, in a way, buy my life back in the future because I was able to get that debt down out today and stop that compound interest from building up against me. I suffer from two problems, and I hope other people can relate to this,

is that I didn't start good habits early. I am very much an instant gratification person. I get something stupid in my head. I'm like, I need to buy that right now, and I buy it right now. And the second part is that I never got taught any of this stuff. Ashley and I were talking to you about this, but I didn't certainly ever get taught any of this stuff in high school, college,

after college. And then I almost hit an age where I was like embarrassed to ask for help. And yes, I know there's a whole internet out there. But I didn't even know like who to ask. And like my brother, for example, is four years younger than me. He works in finance and he's so good at this stuff.

And like when I ask, he doesn't make me feel stupid. But he does sort of laugh at me when I ask these questions because I'm in my mid-30s and I don't know the answer to a lot of these things. And maybe people can relate to that that like they're sort of an age where they're like, I never learned this. No, I don't know who to ask. No, and I think that's a big thing too. Most people are not taught anything to do with personal finance and school. And if they are, it is not in such a way that's going to help them set themselves up for success in the future.

And I think that's why our business has been freaking booming is because there are so many people out there who are hungry for this information. They don't know where to get it and they don't know how to get it in a digestible format, right? Like most of the stuff out there is like, you know, very high level and you're looking and you're like, I don't even know what a 401k is, let alone what a mutual fund is versus an ETF. It can become extremely overwhelming. So being able to find somebody who you can relate to

who's been there before and walked through it and to be able to walk you through it, I think is a huge thing. Yeah, and all I do is read like the Wolf of Wall Street and the Wizard of Lies and the smartest guys in the room, the Enron book. I read all this stuff and I'm like, who do you trust? I can't trust anybody.

Yeah, and I think that's scary too, because a lot of the times, we believe, like, we are doing the right thing when we go to the bank and we trust the guy at the bank with our money. We're like, but he's the guy at the bank. Like, he has to have my best interest at heart. And I think the crazy thing with this is most people don't understand that most financial advisors aren't fiduciaries, meaning they legally do not have to have your best interest

in mind. So when you're going there, even if you find a financial advisor, and this is not like poo-poo on the entire financial industry, but even if you find a financial advisor, who is an amazing person with a good heart and they truly want to help you succeed, they're still working for a bank or a company that has profits first in mind. So when you're going in there and you're like, hey, you know, I want to grow my money, what are they telling you to put your money into? Are they telling you to put your money into, you know, mutual funds that have very,

very high expense ratios, meaning those financial advisors are making a lot of money or the banks are making a lot of money for selling you this specific product when you could actually go out and buy the exact same thing, basically. but for a much lower cost. So for example, an actively managed mutual fund, maybe the expense ratio is 2%, 2.5%. And maybe you can buy an ETF, which is a similar thing,

for 0.04%. A 1% difference in fees could mean 10 years less of retirement income. So it seems like a small number, but when you look at it that way, you're like, holy shit, that's 10 years more money that I need to put in there. And people aren't telling you this. And the financial advisors, their real benefit to you

is not necessarily in creating you a portfolio that you couldn't create on your own because you can and it's very easy. Their benefit is in controlling your emotions, controlling you because most people, you know, you're supposed to buy low and sell high. Most people get FOMO. You're like, oh my God, I'm hearing about this investment.

Like, it's going to the moon. I need to jump on. And then they jump on and they buy high. and then it starts to drop and then they're like, oh shit, I'm losing money and they sell low. Right? So the financial advisor can be like, hey, that's a really bad idea. Or hey, you know, usually these stocks come back up.

So like don't sell now because you're going to lose money. But if you can get in such a situation where you are educated and informed and trust me, it may sound overwhelming right now, but it is so much easier than you think it is, if you can put yourself in a situation where you are educated and informed about what to do, you don't have to pay those fees, right? You can go and do it on your own. and you can save a ton of money by doing it that way.

And just don't assume that all these people are smarter than you. You know, I think that like just because they have formal training, yes, they have more knowledge. But if you feel like something isn't right or something isn't adding up, like just ask the questions, I mean, Rayna and I have business managers. Yes, they are way smarter than us. That's their job. But like we still like see things and question things. And we always ask questions.

And they're like, you girls make us work. We're like, yeah, well, we pay you. So you need to work for us. Like it's just kind of like, just don't. blindly trust and believe people. And that's, that was one of the first things we said to our business, or they said to us when we were having initial meetings with them because they managed all over money. And we said something like, we trust you guys. And they were like, we don't want you to actually. Like, not yet. You know what I mean? Like we want and we, we, we, we, we, they wanted to

like build our trust too. And, you know, with anything, trust your gut on stuff like that. So I think that's great advice. Just don't blindly be like, the guy at the bank knows the best, you know, Exactly. No, I think that's a big thing. And that's why, I mean, you know, a lot of people are not, are kind of disempowering themselves, I think, in a way, by going to the bank and just relying on those people to give them all the information. I think first and foremost, you know, go out there, take a course, read a book, watch some YouTube videos. Like, there are so many ways for you to consume this information. And at least, you know, even if you still, you decide to use a financial advisor after, you can sit at the table and have the conversation and understand what's going on and

be able to ask the questions because it's your money. Like you were fucking hard for that money. You want to make sure it's going to the right places and it's working for you and not for the guy in the bank. Right. Well, before we get into some of the more relationship-based topics, we do want to touch on this principle of yours of not having a budget. That's your brand. No budget, babe. I feel so seen because I've never been into budgeting, never had a successful budget. I'm sure Raina feels the same way. So we really want you to validate us on this. I love it. I think a lot of people place a lot of faith in a budget that, I mean, so let me go back a little bit. Imagine, you're like, okay, I'm having money problems. I don't know what to do. You like go to your friends,

you go to your family. The number one answer is, but did you start a budget? It's like, like this little piece of paper, once you write it all down, all of those problems are going to be solved. And people put so much faith in this budget where it's like, okay, well, I've made the budget. So now my financial issues are just completely gone because I know where my money should go. Number one, I believe that just further reinforces a scarcity mindset where you believe you don't have enough and you're never going to have enough. So I don't believe that that's conducive to wealth building. In addition to that, what we see and what studies show is that, okay, month one, people on the budget, you're like really great. Okay, they're saving money. Like, yeah, this is

amazing. Month two, and not so good. Month three, the majority of people fall off. Why? Number one, because they feel restricted. Okay. And number two, because they haven't addressed the underlying reason as to why they are in that situation in the first place. Most people believe that personal finance is tactic. You know, where do I put my money and how do I get it to grow and how do I get rich? But actually, it's the unsexy stuff. It's the, you know, 80% of it actually being mindset and behavior versus only 20% of it being tactic. Most of us on some level know what we're supposed to do. We know that we shouldn't be buying that shit on credit. We know we should be saving more, but we're not doing it, right? We self-sabotage. We get in her own damn way.

Why? Right? And that's where my program really is different than the majority of what the personal finance literature is out there, I guess, so to speak, is that we focus on the psychology behind why you're doing what you're doing. How do we rewire your brain and rewrite those internal money scripts to set you up for long-term success? Because I don't want what I'm teaching to be a quick fix. This isn't just like, okay, you come through and in two months, you know, you saves the money and then you go right back to your same shit. I want to change your whole life. So I want to help you build such a solid foundation, understanding the mindset and the behavior and the self-sabotage and all of that kind of

stuff that when we get to the tactic, it gets to be freaking effortless because we have all of that other stuff set up now. Stay ready, so you don't have to get ready. I love that. I'm glad you address that. That's a big thing, right? Like I used to budget really hard. I said when I was in university, I did the jar method and the envelope method and all that shit. And I don't, like, just further reinforce that scarcity mindset, I saved my first $100,000 by the time I was 25 and I was still lie and bed awake at night, like, I'm never going to have enough money. I'm never going to make money.

And I'm like, I have, you know, six figures in the bank. And I still don't feel okay. I'm like, this, it's wrong, right? Something is wrong here. And it's going back to the way that I thought and perceived and used money. Instead of using it as a tool, I felt like. it was this finite resource, whereas, no, we can, we can make more money. We can bring more money into our lives and there is always going to be another way. And I think the biggest thing for people,

if they're feeling stuck right now, is to ask themselves, you know, instead of saying, I can't do this, I can't be good with money, I can't afford that, whatever. It's how can I? What do I need to do today to set myself up for that success in the future? How do I get the knowledge that I need and put that into action so that I can really, have all of those goals that I want in life. And it's just like dating and dating advice. It's like, why would you give somebody a bunch of things to go out and do and use these tips and tricks if you don't even know where their mind is and when it comes to how they feel

about themselves, how they feel about dating, what they actually want? It's just this, you know, I think people dole out a lot of things to do without taking a minute to stop and think the part that everybody's individual and we all have different emotions and beliefs and goals and we're all wired differently. So I love that you approach it from that psychological standpoint. That's great. Okay. All right.

Let's get back into it with Nicole. Yeah. So we're back and we want to talk a little bit about the relationship aspect of this. So specifically women's relationship to money and marrying for money and then feeling like there's sort of like this imbalance in the relationship where you've like overcompensate in some way. So we would love to hear about that from you. And you must get a lot of emails from women. Our audience is mainly female so we can focus on that.

But what do you see? Yeah. So I mean, I definitely. see that a lot. I get a lot of messages through social media. I get a lot of emails of people being like, oh my God, thank you so much for letting me know that I can do this on my own. Like there seems to be this belief that, and again, this is not with everybody, but there is this misconception with some people and maybe it's pushed on them from their parents or from society or from media or whatever it is, where it's like, hey, if you want to have financial success, you should marry a rich man. Right. And it's just,

I mean, it's so wrong. to me on so many, on so many different levels. It's beyond. It blows my mind. And I've had people come to me being like, my parents told me not to worry about any of this because my husband will take care of it. And I feel like his place isn't in the finances, just as much as your place isn't in the fucking kitchen. Like, stop trying to marry a breadwinner and go out there and learn how to be a breadwinner. Thank you. I mean, it is no one's responsibility to support you. And listen, that is a product of your mother not telling you and your father and I tell you.

you to make money on your own. Yeah, society. My mom told me my whole life, you know, make money for yourself because God forbid your husband leaves you or dies. God forbid. And it's like, why is that the gut? Why don't I just make money? Because that's like the important. Yeah. We, Raina like, oh, this was our, our month. We did, now this is our third money episode. We did one just the two of us like year one of the podcast. And like, I, like, Raina just quoted me forever because I just couldn't wrap my head around like not making money. Like, like, and I, I know.

I know women. They just, they don't work and that's fine. And they, they raise the family and they take care of the household and stuff like that. But I just was like, you don't have any money. Like, you don't make any money. Like you have to ask your husband for money. You have to, like, and if that's the way you want to live, live your truth always, but I personally can't wrap my head around it. Like, I have to ask my husband for money. What? I think it's so crazy. Like, I think the biggest thing is like a man is not a financial plan. And exactly like you said, Marina, 50% of marriages end in divorce and women live longer than men. So even if you make it through the divorce shed, like, he's going to die before you.

Like, that's just the reality of it. And I think also, like, I mean, I get a lot of messages from women in very vulnerable situations. I've spoken on the phone to women in many vulnerable situations where they're like, I don't know what to do. My husband is abusive. He's financial abuse, you know, emotional, whatever it is. I can't get out of this because I don't have my own way out.

And for me, I never want to, I mean, I grew up in a very tumultuous household. I never wanted to be in a situation where I didn't have control of my own fucking life, right? And I wanted to make sure that I got my own shit. Like even right now, like I'm married. We have our own accounts, his, hours, and mine, right? Like, I like having our finances separated. I mean, it's good from a tracking perspective so you can see how much you're spending.

And, you know, there's no. like anger or like, you know, disparity between anything. And it's like, yeah, I have my own shit. We have our shared account for like our mortgage and our shared bills and whatever. But I have my own stuff going on. And I've never put myself in a position where I need to depend on him. Do we lean on each other? Yes, this isn't to say that I'm like, I'm an independent woman and I don't, you know,

lean on my husband for anything. But I have my own shit going on too. And I think that that's so important. I'm so glad that you brought up people that are in situations that are, that they're trapped essentially because of an abusive situation, a cheating situation, et cetera. Because, of course, Ashley and I support anything people want to do. And we're not saying that being a mother isn't a hard job.

And if you're dynamic with your partner... I'm not doing it's too hard. Ashley and I actually aren't doing it because it's too hard. But I'm not saying that, you know, being a mother, it's a perfectly fine position to marry a person makes more money than you and to not work and that your job is to raise the kids. But why, if you have an option, would you not put yourself in a position to have a little bit of money to have, you know, to have options?

Yeah, and you can make your own decisions. And like on the kid thing, I have a 20-month-old. I totally feel you. It is tiring. But it's still crazy. I think the biggest thing is, like I said, you wouldn't believe the number of messages that I get from people. And I see, you know, my TikTok's pretty big.

And I'll have people commenting on the TikTok like, I'll just marry a rich man. And it's like, even though I know that's a joke, I feel like what you tell your brain, it believes. So when you're putting that out there into the universe, like the only way that I'll have wealth is if I marry an older man who's already wealthy is telling me that you're never going to actually go out there and do the things that you need to do to put yourself in a good financial position.

Yeah, absolutely. I wouldn't even make that joke because the thought wouldn't enter my mind. But I love that you said that you and your husband have your joint and your separate accounts. And that's how I grew up like that's what my parents had. So it's like I grew up even as little girl knowing that, you know, mommy has her account and daddy has his account and then they have their joint account. And it's funny because my mom would like take me shopping on her account, you know, and like,

I knew the pin to her check card. Like she had me running into like the wah-wah to get money out, like whatever. But yeah, so I, that was something that I just, you know, when you're a kid and you start to pick up on those things and your parents tell you those things, you don't think anything else exists. You know what I mean? So that's what I always thought and that's what I always knew I would want. And I personally do think that's the best thing.

Like, I mean, Ray and I, we have a joy to count. but we still have our own account. Actually, I have to ask you about a credit card charge from this month. I think you're in finding me. Oh, my God. Amazon charge we have to talk about. Oh, really? Yeah, it's for Amazon books.

It's weird. Is it for the ring light? Oh, is it $100? Yeah. It's for the ring light. Thank you so much. Thanks for letting us work through this in front of it. But I have a question for you because I don't think,

for me and Ashley, like, we'll just say whatever we think we're pretty confident. people and we'll back up that confidence with information. But like for somebody who's not comfortable saying that to their husband, like, I want my own account. How would you like advise breaching that conversation? Because I don't think it's like such an easy thing to talk about with your partner. No.

And I definitely think it's trickier once you've already established, you know, hey, we have one shared account. If you're getting into the relationship, I mean, I would have these talks. Exactly. I would have these talks. Not like super early like the first day like, okay, you know, later on down the road like don't red flag. But if you guys are already in the relationship and you have your money and one economy,

one way to approach it would be, hey, you know, I'm starting to take my financial situation a little bit more seriously. I would love to, you know, set up like a money date. Okay, we can have this money date. It doesn't need to be this big scary thing. Cook dinner. Have some wine. You know what I mean? Have a good time. But like let's sit down. Let's talk about our fucking goals. Let's talk about our shared goals. Where do you want to be in five years, 10 years, 15 years? Whatever. Use this as a way to bring up the focus on is get on the same page and then say, hey, I want to understand where my money is going, what my spending habits are. Because I mean, one of the things, like, I don't believe in budgets,

but I do believe in tracking our expenses. We need to know where we've been spending our money. Because a lot of times we don't have insight into what we're actually spending. It's a lot different than what we believe. So you can say something like, hey, I want to start tracking my finances. I want to understand what I'm spending, where my money's going. Let's separate our accounts so that I'm able to do that more effectively. And then you might want to try that exercise to you or whatever it is. And that way we can make sure we have a handle on what our own expenses are so that we can start putting money into shared account towards our shared goals.

Well, I mean, ultimately, if you're deciding with your partner, once you've become your long-term committed, that you're going to, whether you're opening a checking account or you're getting a joint credit card and then paying with the check, whatever, like just somehow combining your finances, like to put them all together, you'd have to close your checking account. So it's like that's a big step in its own. So it seems maybe a little easier to be like, well, no, I'm going to hold on to my own account.

And I think you should do the same. And like, I don't know, maybe it's a red flag if someone's like, no, you need to close your checking account. And we're going all in together. Like, you know what I mean? Like it seems like it shouldn't be that difficult unless you, to go backwards, it would be tough to go backwards and just be like, okay, actually now I want to.

But it's just like, why don't you just hold on to what you, had before the partnership. You know what I mean? And I like the idea- Just open one more. Sorry. I like the idea to start these conversations early. I think that it was your line in one of our previous episodes to like have these conversations

and say like, do you think about money the way that I think about money? Like does your partner think about long-term spending and saving the way that you do? And you talked about like your partners and I don't know, you can speak on it. Yeah, just, I mean, I think it's those conversations to me are best had when you're like in a great place in the relationship. You don't like bring this up in a fight or when things are 10. But yeah, like you said, have dinner, like pour a glass of wine, not too much. You don't want to get drunk and fight.

But like just making sure, I did realize that in a relationship. I realized we just did not think about money the same way or even career goals or long-term goals. And it was obviously a point of contention. And we broke up not because of other things too, but just figuring out where they stand. Because that's a tough thing to get one or two years down the road with somebody and realize that they literally don't think about the future the same way as you. Yeah.

No, that's a big thing. I think even understanding like the way, like people's values. I mean, somebody may value health and they have no problem spending a ton of money every week on like supplements and whatever else it is. And the other person may think, well, that's fucking stupid. But they spend a lot of money on like makeup because they really value beauty. Like you need to understand that, I mean, first of all, people are going to have different values. And you need to respect other people's values and people are going to treat their money hopefully based on their values. But know that like you can have different values.

I mean, not totally, but I mean, things like that, you know, in terms of like health and that kind of thing, but still have the same long-term goals. As long as you're still working towards the same shit overall, then I feel like, you know, the little minutia on the day-to-day isn't as big of a deal. Yeah, because I think where I've seen it go wrong is just like the couple isn't aligned at all in terms of like someone is really like a penny pincher and the person is other person's really spending and they want to just kind of like live their life to the fullest. I wouldn't work with somebody that was like a really strict saver. You know what I mean? I dated that person. I was just like, this sucks.

Like, I know you have money in the bank. Can we take a trip? Like, I don't know. Like, it's just, it's not for me.

But I also don't want somebody that spends every dime they get two because I dated that too. So yeah, that's my biggest nightmare. I think it's the person that like wants to go buy a small boat or something or a vacation house. I'm like, but we shop at Kmart.

Like I don't, I don't want somebody that's spending every last dollar and not covering the, covering the basic essentials as well as we could. And I'm fortunate that it might I've worked my whole life. I've worked since I was 14 and I'm at a place in my life where I don't have to think before I spend as much. And I'd like to

find a partner on a pretty equal footing. I guess I just want somebody very similar to me, but you've got to have those conversations early to figure out if that's the case, you know? Yeah. And I don't think, I mean, so my husband and I, like, we're actually the complete opposite when it comes to money. So he is not like a huge

spender, but he's more live life kind of thing. And I'm more like let's save and keep all of our money and invested and that kind of thing. And I think really what helped us was getting on the same page about what our long-term goals were. Where do we actually want to be? How are we going to get there together? And when you get really clear about your goals and you get really passionate about your goals, sometimes you realize that those other things actually aren't as important to you, right?

It's like whereas maybe we're going out and buying clothes and whatever, it's like, well, okay, I could do that. Or I could put that money towards this other goal that's going to bring me. so much more happiness when I hit it. So it's like, you know, this fulfillment curve. There's this book called Your Money or Your Life and it is amazing and it is basically understanding, they call it, you know, the key to life and it is understanding the tip of the fulfillment curve where it's like, you know, when you're little, you seek fulfillment or happiness from outside of yourself. And they say, you know, you get a bottle or a blanket or whatever and you get a little bit older and, you know, this fulfillment comes from toys and then your parents are well meaning and

they're like, hey, well, you know, those toys cost money. So you create this rule in your head where you're like, okay, money buys things that bring me happiness. So you get older and you go on your first trip. You buy your first car and you get your first apartment. And you're like, holy fuck. Like the happiness level is like going up and up and up. But you get to a point where it kind of plateaus, right? The level of happiness that you're getting, you're spending more money and it's not really going anywhere.

It's just kind of staying flat. So the key to life is finding where you can get the most happiness, you know, at the peak of the fulfillment curve with the least amount of money having to be spent to achieve that happiness. I love that. I want to read that. It's a really good book. I just,

I'm just thinking about like, I always can't help but think about like the way you were brought up and when you're a kid. And I feel like I have a quick, funny story to tell you guys. I remember, I think this was the summer between like maybe freshman sophomore year in college or maybe before going into college, whatever.

I had a summer job. I made maybe like $800 in the summer, which is a lot. This was a long while back. And then I just like, went to the mall. I went to King of Prussia Mall, which is like farther away

from where I lived, it was the best mall. It's like a known thing. It's like in Pennsylvania. And I just spent it all. So I just spent it all. Like I spent, I bought all clothes shoes.

I think I bought a coach bag. Like I just spent all my money. And I remember telling my mom, and I was so excited to come home and show everything I got. And she was like, where did you? I was like, oh, I just spent the money. I made the summer.

She's like, all of it. And I was like, yeah. And she was like, you were. are supposed to save it. And I was like, you didn't tell me that. So how am I supposed to know? Like, it was, I just felt like I had gotten to a point in my life where I should have known that like should have saved a little bit. And I just remember her being like, we failed her. No, but that's how I was raised too. I worked every weekend. I made $100 every Saturday, every Sunday, the diner I worked at in cash and I spent it on tank tops. No one has ever owned more

tank tops in their entire life than me. And my mom, You used to scream at me. We went to a therapist about it. A therapist said if she didn't lay all of her money on fire, then let her, it'll be the hard lesson for her. And that is a stupid thing to tell a 15-year-old because I was like,

fuck you, mom, he said I could. And I just, I moved to New York City after working all through high school and college and a year in between college and moved to New York. I moved here with a grand total. And mind you, I've been working for, I don't know, I moved here at 21.

I'd notice I was 14. I moved here with $5,000. I thought I was so rich. No one's a lot. That was, that's not, but we're working for seven years. Oh yeah. I had no bills. Yeah. And I think actually my story, I might have been high school, but whenever it was, I still didn't understand. Yeah. So I'm, so something I just want to like wrap up the final thought. So if you're in this perfect storm of no one told you and I didn't save and what I've done now is Mary a Rich man because I need some money and fuck. I didn't plan for myself. Like when people message you and say and something you brought up was that women express that there's like an imbalance and they have to sort of overcompensate. And I thought that was an interesting concept. And I thought that was an interesting concept. and I was wondering if you would just talk about it a little bit. Yeah, I mean, we've had a few clients like this come into the program where they're like, hey, you know, my husband is the breadwinner.

He makes more money than me. And I feel like I need to learn this stuff right now because I don't feel like I'm contributing enough. And I think that that's also a really toxic mindset as well. I don't think that there needs to be a dollar for dollar contribution within the relationship. If it's like, you know, okay, we're each going to save 20% of our paychecks. you save 20% of your paycheck or whatever that is. It doesn't need to be while he's saving $2,000 and I'm only saving $500.

And now I feel like shit about that. And if you are feeling like shit about that, I think you need to ask yourself why. You really need to dive deep into what is this belief in my head that I have about myself that I am not sufficient enough or I am not providing enough? Or why do I feel like I am not enough or this is not enough? And really dive deep into why that my life. might be coming up for you because it's not always so cut and dry, right? And maybe it's

something that he's saying and maybe it's something that he's doing or maybe it's something that you're perceiving to be happening based on your own kind of internal scripts that you believe. Yeah. And it's not that, you know, listen, there's just, you might have picked a different profession than your partner. Your male partner might have picked to go into finance and you might have picked to be a teacher. And being a teacher, I would say, is more valuable to the world than another guy in finance, but you make significantly less, you know, than your partner. But it doesn't mean that you're not contributing to the, to the relationship equally.

You just picked a different financial path and a different career. Yeah, exactly. And it's funny. I actually had a client that was like that. It was a similar kind of thing. So she was actually a teacher. So she made substantially less than her husband made. I think he was an engineer or something.

But I'm like, you're both working full time. You both have jobs. It's not like you're like, I'm choosing not to work. I'm going to sit on a couch and like screw you and whatever else it is. It's like, no, you're going out there. You're contributing, you know, and they're like, well, you know, I'm not making as much money. One hour of my life isn't worth as much.

It's like, no, you're not being paid based on what you are worth. You are being paid for a task. You are completing a task. That task is worth a certain amount of money. You personally are not worth that money. And I think that's something else that we really need to understand as well is that our net worth, or what we make is not our self-worth. That is not what we are worth as individuals or as people.

And I think that's a really big differentiation that we need to make and split. I love that you said that. I think that that's such a quote that we need to remember. Like, just that dollar sign is not already making it. Okay. Is your husband like to see work and money in any way? No, so he's in the tourism industry. So it's not necessarily like the highest paying field.

so I definitely at this point and the breadwinner in the relationship. I don't feel like it's really been an issue for us. However, like I said, we've been together since I was 16 and we've seen each other at all of these different points, right? So I think we've grown together and we've had those talks very early on and we are really on the same page with what our goals are. However, if we had not grown together, if we did not have the same goals, if we did not have the same mindset towards money at this point, do I think that our relationship? would have worked over all of those years, 100% not, and we wouldn't be together at this point then. Yeah, and I was asking too, because it's like,

I think we talked about this with the former guest, Michaela Bohm, how her, with her partner, and just gender roles, how like, we have this antiquated gender roles of like, the man handles the money. And it's like, not if the woman's better at handling the money. You know what I mean? Like, she was saying, like,

I'm a lot better at handling our finances. So I do that and he does the things that he's better at. And so you have an expertise in money. It's like, of course you're going to be the person that handles it in your relationship, if that's the relationship that you're in. So I just, we need to forget all of that because it goes back to this like, boys are better at math and money, you know, and it's just, it's not true all the time. So. No, 100% not.

And I think even if the other person isn't as like good as money with money as you are, still involving them in that conversation, still involving them and being like, hey, you know, what do you think about this? maybe their opinion doesn't count for as much, but you still ask them. Yeah. Well, let's, let's wrap up with some of these just general tips. And I would love to name drop, you know, companies that you like, too, if you're into it. I mean, for example, I was going to ask you if you liked Vanguard. I just feel like I'm constantly hearing that that's a really good, easier way to invest my cousin who's a CPA. It's just a huge, a huge fan of it. And he's always

pushing me to do that. And they're easy to be like, hey, I want to have this. I want to, I have this goal for 10 years and make it happen for me with this amount. You know, so I'm just, things like that. I just, we want to hear your general tips where people can even just start from ground zero. Yeah. So I mean, Vanguard is amazing. Instead of, you know, if you wanted to work with them from like a financial planning perspective, you definitely could.

However, you can also invest in their ETFs without a financial planner. So an ETF basically is an exchange traded fund. And it's a basket of stocks. And if you were like, okay, I want to go out and I want to buy a little bit of a bunch of different companies, because if I buy one company, super scary because if that company something happens, I could lose all my money. But if I have my money spread across multiple really good companies across the world, you know, the biggest invest across the world, the chances of me losing my money are very slim. But for you to go and put all that together to buy little small pieces of all these companies,

difficult, time consuming, and just really annoying, right? So instead, you could buy a basket of stocks, which is an exchange traded fund. They have very low management expense ratios, as I was talking about before, like the Vanguard ones of the U.S. I think they're like 0.04 percent, meaning that they only charge you 0.04% to hold this investment. You can go in and buy some of these that they have a little bit of the biggest invest in this basket instead of trying to go out and buy all of them individually yourself. And it diversifies you.

So it prevents you from taking on as much risk as if you will. would if you were just buying one singular company. They also have some really, really great options, Vanguard, and I believe I shares has some, and they're called asset allocated funds. So if you wanted to include some stocks and then maybe some bonds in there, which are also called fixed income, meaning you know exactly how much you're going to make. You don't make as much because it's a little bit safer. However, you know exactly how much you're going to make. So you can buy an entire portfolio that has stocks and bonds in it in an asset. asset allocated fund. I shares in Vanguard have them. It's literally everything you need in one

fund. Like you buy just one thing. You don't need to go to a financial advisor to buy it. The expense ratio is a little bit higher, but still much, much lower than what you would get if you were with a financial advisor. And it has, you know, you could get a balanced fund with 50% stocks and 50% bonds and they rebalance it for you. You can get one that has 80% stocks and 20% bonds. You don't have to go and work with someone specifically. There are also robo advisors that are are amazing that do the exact same thing as a financial advisor, but it's a robot. And they ask you, you go in, you start off by answering like a questionnaire, like what's your goal? When do you need the money? How much can you contribute? And then they're like, hey, based on that, this is the

portfolio we would recommend, put your money in here and we'll handle the rest. And again, a little bit more expensive than just doing it yourself, but much less expensive than having a financial advisor. So those are some really, really quick and easy ways to get started. Again, nothing wrong with going with a financial advisor. And when I first started investing, I started with a financial advisor, right? Until I got to a point where I felt comfortable and confident with what the market did, with how I was going to react to changes in the market. And I was able to then say, I don't think they're bringing me as much value as I'm paying.

I'm going to take my money out of here and do it on my own. But again, nothing wrong with starting off that way. I think another really easy, quick win for people is to start that high interest savings account. And people right now are like, the rates are shit. It's better than the 0.03% you're getting on your savings account. So if you can get even 1%, 1.5%, like, that is money that you are making without having to do anything. Keep your emergency fund in that high interest savings account. You're at least making a little bit of money and it's a hedge against inflation.

Do you just ask that at your bank? I mean, is that just as easy as that? Some financial institutions will have them. Others won't. So I believe, I think it's Chase in the states that has some right now or chime. In Canada, I use EQ Bank. Tangerine Bank also has some. So depending on where you are, like, you can just do a quick Google search online.

I think NerdWallet has some really great recommendations. NerdWall. NERWallet is like the holy grail. I feel like they are such a trustworthy source of anything you're wondering about when it comes to this stuff. And then I just want to make sure we get it right. You said Robo Advisor. Is that like an actual name? Or is that just like there's a bunch of them? Or is that like a name of a company?

Okay. Yeah, there's a bunch of Google that. If that's what you're looking for. Exactly. And I mean, some, if you wanted to start on your own, if you were in Canada, well, simple is really great. They have a robo advising platform or you can just go and do their self-investing. TD Ameritrade is great in the states for self-investing, like self-directed investing.

They have really great platforms for you to be able to do all. of that. So I would say just Google, you know, Robo Advisor and then your area, top Robo Advisors in the States or Top Robo Advisors, Canada, and see what comes up. Make sure you do your research. Make sure you understand how much these companies are charging you to purchase investments, to, you know, handle your investments for you, all of that kind of stuff. But once you have that kind of a guideline, you know, go again, like you said before, seek different advice from different people. Maybe you talk to a couple different financial advisors. Maybe you talk to some money coaches, maybe you talk to your friends and your family, ask people what they're doing,

get advice from different people, see what the common denominators are, see what the outliers are and be like, well, maybe I don't want to do that because nobody is saying to do this, only this one person and go from there and be able to build your plan out that way. I think the bigger risk is not investing and not getting started rather than actually going out there and doing it. Yeah, and just I guess, I think this can sound like a lot to some people, and I just don't think it has to be that overwhelming, you know what I mean? Like, I think it can, it's like you put in a certain amount, you tell them, you know, your goals and these people are trained and they're professional, they know what to do with your money. Like I don't, you know, again, don't blindly

trust, but I just think people are like, they're hearing stocks, bonds, mutual funds, you know, and they're just like, I don't know what. And it's just like, actually no time again. I like, I just glaze over. I'm like, you're not an expert, but I mean, if you're just like, you, you want to do Vanguard, Warren Buffett recommends it, you, you recommend it, then research it, talk to someone there or whatever it is and get their support and then be like, this is how much I can put in a month and this is what my goals are. And that was another question I want to ask you. I know there's probably not a concrete answer to this, but just to give people a ballpark, like, what do you feel is a bare minimum of a monthly amount to invest? Like if someone has,

if someone's like, I can literally only spare $50 a month. Is that even worth it? Yes, I definitely think it's worth it. And I think people have this misconception that investing is only for the wealthy, but investing is actually how you build wealth. It's how you get rich, right? So starting small, If you start with $5, $10, $20, $50, like whatever it is, start somewhere. Starting is better than not starting at all. Stop waiting until things you feel like are perfect for you to start. But the biggest thing to understand is you really need to reverse engineer your goals because where a lot of people get stuck is, okay, I'll save $50 a month and I'm going to invest

that. Cool. But for what? Why are we investing? Why are we saving this money? It's going to be very difficult to stay on track if you don't actually have a plan for what you're going to do with that money. and a lot of people will, you know, maybe they get to 65 and they're like, great, I've been investing

my whole life. I can retire and you get to that point and they're like, oh my God, I don't have enough money to retire, but I've been investing my whole life. But it's like, hey, you didn't think about what do you want your life to look like when you retire? How much money do you need to live that lifestyle? How much do you need to save today and what kinds of investments do you need to buy in order to be able to get there? So really understanding like planning out your life and maybe it doesn't sound fun, but it can be, right? Like, what do I want my life to look like? What do I want my dream life to be in five years, 10 years, 15 years, 40 years?

And what do I do today to set myself up for that success at that point? This hasn't come up, but I was curious if you have opinions on this, as opposed to investing your money in the stock market bonds, things like that, if you have opinions about real estate and especially like real estate right now. Yeah, so I love real estate. In terms of real estate right now, the real estate market. are super heated. So it's, I mean, that's an understatement in some areas.

I know where I live, a lot of the properties are seeing like 20, 30 offers on the first day of being listed. We went and looked. We right and I peruse a little bit. I thought I was going to buy a house like a few months back. And I was like, oh, shit. I had no idea. People were just buying homes.

And this is at the beach in Delaware, site unseen, way more than asking. Like, it was bonkers. It's crazy. And I mean, so when you think about real estate from an investing standpoint, a lot of people say, you know, you make your money on the buy. So if you overpay from the outside, it's going to be that much more difficult for you to actually make money long term. However, when a lot of people think about real estate investing, they're like, okay, I need to go out

and buy a house and rent out that house and doesn't need to be like that. You can actually use your personal residence to build massive wealth if you buy strategically. So I bought my first property when I was, I think it was 26, 25 maybe, flipped it in two years for a $150,000 profit and that's tax-free profit because it's a house that I lived in. So, I mean, there's different ways that you can make money off of it. If I could go back and do things differently and what I typically recommend is, if you can, buy a duplex, buy a multifamily property, rent out one of the units, or if you don't care, rent out some of the other bedrooms, house hack, that's what that's

called, right? Live for free and then invest all of that other money. And then you can actually just rinse and repeat this process. If you don't mind living in a multifamily property, you can do this for a few years, build up a huge nest egg. You know, live in one, you get the smaller down payment because it's an owner-occupied unit. So you don't have to put down 20, 25 percent, maybe put down three and a half percent as the first one or five percent. Move into that property, live in there for a year, fix it up, you know, rent out the other unit, take all of that extra money that you are saving, go and buy another property.

Live in one unit, fix it up, rent out the other one, rinse and repeat that. you will build a portfolio of real estate properties. And real estate is amazing because you make money a few ways, right? You can make money off of the monthly rents. You make money off of the capital appreciation. So how much the value of the property goes up. And you can make a lot more money that way in real estate than you can in stocks based on your initial investment.

So imagine you put $50,000 into the stock market and stocks went up by 10%. You've made $5,000. Cool, right? but if you put $50,000, say, into a $500,000 house, and that house goes up by 10%, now you've made $50,000. So you are making money off of other people's money, the bank's money, right?

Right. Which is amazing. And because that appreciation is off of not only your original investment, but off of the price of the home, like in that one year, you could have made a 100% return on your investment, which you're not going to get really in the stock market. I think that's highly unlikely.

And anybody telling you that they're getting that is probably lying. So there are some really great ways to do that. And I mean, you can also take equity out of the property tax free, right? Because you don't pay money on debts. I mean, obviously you want to be careful if you're using any of those kind of strategies with like a home equity line of credit or refinancing and taking that money, that cash back out of the property to further build your investment portfolio.

However, depending on your tolerance to rest, and there are definitely some things that you can do are some ways that you can strategize to build that real estate portfolio you and make a ton of money that way as well. I'm glad you asked, Raina. No, I just want to know what to do with all my money. Maybe Ashley and I was starting a side hustle where we invest in properties together and put that.

I love it. I love real estate. Yeah. All right. Well, we know that people want to find you. You want to find your courses, your website, your Instagram. So if you can tell people everywhere to find you. Yeah, I love it.

So you can find us on TikTok or on Instagram at no budget, babe. We also have a Facebook group. So if you guys are listening to all of this right now and you're like, I have so many questions. You can head over to our free Facebook group. I do free money coaching in there once a month. It's called Master Your Money and Build a Bank account that never stops growing. We have a variety of courses, but one of the ones that I'll touch on right now is we actually

have a free program. It's a three-day video series called 30 Days to 100K. And it walks you through how to start building up that first six-figure bank account, you know, ways to negotiate your money, some basic money rules, and then how to, you know, set up some of those investment accounts to help your money grow. It's 100% free. Awesome. Oh, wow. That's really great. I'll be there. Well, this was great. Yeah. Thank you so much for everything. Amazing. I love it. Thank you so much for having me. I've had such a good time. Yeah. Thank you. And you guys know where to find us. Girls Got at You Podcast.com. Sign up for the email list.

Grab that new merch. Get tickets to the virtual Valentine's live show on February 11. 11th and find us Instagram at Girls Gotta Eat Podcast. I'm Ash Hess. Raina is reina.org, Twitter, Girls underscore Gotta Eat, YouTube.com slash Girls Gotta Eat. And that's all. All right, guys, have a good week. Bye.