Girls Gotta Eat - Beware of The Softboy

Episode Date: January 24, 2022

You may be an expert on softboys, have no idea what one is, or think you know but you don't (spoiler alert: it's not just a sensitive guy); but whatever your softboy knowledge status is, we're here to break down these dudes who are infiltrating modern dating. We're defining and discussing, plus sharing our listeners' experiences with them. Before we break it down, we're chatting about the guys we met in Texas, and at the end of the episode, we're answering two hilarious listener emails about a confusing post-hookup leave-behind and masturbating to your co-workers. Enjoy the first (and probably last) episode recorded from the car! Follow us @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Ashley @AshHess, and Rayna @Rayna.Greenberg. Visit our website for tour dates, episode directory, and more. Thank you to our partners this week: Osea: Get 10% off your first order with code GGE at oseamalibu.com. Pretty Litter: Use code GGE for 20% off your first order at prettylitter.com. HelloFresh: Go to hellofresh.com/gge16 + code GGE16 for up to 16 free meals and 3 free gifts. Stream Freeform's Single Drunk Female now on Hulu. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You can sense it. I know. I was flirting with this guy. I was like this fucking guy. And he has like a soft voice. He's got a soft body. Like it. And he just like, I was enjoying it.

But I just felt it. I was like, oh my gosh. I know. The first episode of Girls Got to eat ever a quarter in the back of the Mitsubishi. What is this? An outlander? Yes. Florida plates.

Our mom, Bella, is driving us in the front seat. We're sitting in the bag. Five stars, Bella. Your DJ skills are amazing. It's, the playlist is from the coffee shop in Houston. That's what we were listening to this morning too? Oh my God, guys. This playlist is unbelievable.

I worked so hard to get us this playlist so we could have it. Yeah, we'll tell you guys all about it. We're literally driving right now from Austin to Dallas. Yeah. Recording this full episode because Rayna's got to get her tities done. It's a whole thing. Yeah, we have three hours to kill. So we got some checks mix and hopped in the back seat.

You know what's funny is like the seatbelt is like up around my neck and I've never had like a light choking while we were recording. It feels nice. I know. I'm like, I feel like I have a triple chin because I'm trying to get down with the mic. Just hold it. Should I hold it?

I want to look at you while we're recording. All right. Let's hold them, but don't get them too close. They're like the little lapel mics. I feel like I'm doing a TikTok. You know, they like do.

Do you think this is what Shaq feels like when he holds a microphone? Why do you have to bring up Shagg? Ashley loves Shack. That's my guy. So much. So much. Ray and I have an idea to do both. bonus episodes

solo but interviews of stuff that really is irrelevant to the rest of the topic. I would interview Shaq and LeBron. And LeBron. Do you feel like you could do it or do you freak out? LeBron's been a little problematic. It's been a little weird about COVID. Oh. He's like an anti-vaxxer?

I don't know. I think he got the Vax. But he's been a little like he's got some weird stuff. Yes, he's been a little Roganee. But Shaq is an unproblematic king and he has been forever. I like he lives in Atlanta So I've had like people are always

I had a couple opportunities where I thought I was going to meet him And it just never worked out but it'll happen But he's getting old I gotta work on this I feel like you like excuses to go to Atlanta because you love it That's the answer I just gotta be check yeah I thought he lived in Miami He's he I mean

Well he used to be on the on the The magic like wasn't he on Orlando Magic He was like Lakers I mean he's probably lived Don't guys too don't Timis if we're wrong I'm not like that big of a stand I just love, I like Shacks outside of, like, if you ever seen, but I said to that video, he was like at a red carpet premier trying to get Joe Jonas's attention. He was like, get Joe, get Joe. He's so funny.

Okay, speaking of wrong and don't DM us, I'm glad you brought this up because I have to make a statement. Yeah, you do. Guys, I meant to do this last week and I forgot. So two weeks ago, I said that Elizabeth Holmes had been sentenced to 20 years in prison. She was not. You guys were like going with the news. And also, how happens, don't even know who that is. But I said that she'd been sentenced to 20 or she wasn't. She was just, you tell me what happened. Well, she got, yeah, I was right. I was like, wait, she just was found guilty. She was, she wasn't sentenced. Sentence doesn't happen.

It's not, you know, real life is your verdict and then you get sentenced later. I got excited, guys. I jumped a gun. Yeah. So anyway, thank you for your retraction. Yeah. Anyways, we just had an amazing show in Houston on Thursday. We had an amazing time in Austin yesterday, and now we're driving to Dallas for these shows that we've been waiting to do for two years.

Yeah, so here's what's going. So we talked about on last week's episode, Rain is full breast reduction and everything. She still is pre-surgery, but we have to do this because... We've been fucked up all week. Yeah, so I'm still looking at her old tithies right now. They're still good. They have some good years left. They look great.

No, I'm just saying, like... You're looking at these old titty. Like, as this episode comes out, you will have gotten it. Oh, we've had new titties, yeah. So, and then as this episode comes out, thank you guys for coming out to Houston and Dallas. The Dallas shows tonight. We're sure it's going to be amazing. Great dancers and funny stories to share.

But Houston was great. We had never been to Houston. First time, H-town, Beyonce's hometown. We did a whole Beyonce-themed show. We had drag queens and, like, we were dancing. We just, we really did it. It was really fun. It was a blast.

You guys were so great. I mean, so much the show, this show was like improv, just bringing people up and joking to you guys. You guys are great. So thank you for coming. After the show, we jumped in the car. car, we drove to Austin, we got there at like 1.30 in the morning, woke up, just had the best day. We love Austin so much. We really love it. We rolled up into the Soho House. Yeah, 1 o'clock in the morning. It's our, like, favorite thing.

Listen, I'm not trying to be like, like, in a small house. I've never stayed in one. Like, the rooms are so insane. So we just, like, stayed there so much. And went to the pool, went to Torchie's. Try to go to go to Viran Cruz tacos this morning. They said it was a 45-minute wait, we believe. But the men in Austin are a- Oh, my God. paralleled. I don't understand. Like, everyone is tall and hot and bearded. There's a lot of mustaches and I didn't hate it. Yeah, they're pulling it off. I mean, it is, of all the cities I've been to, it's the hottest guys I've seen. I will say, I've been to Austin a few times before COVID. I think that a lot of people came from L.A. and New York and just wherever, and that's, like, such a hot city. So I do think they've gotten a lot of transplants from the coasts. But whatever, is going on, I'm here for it. Wild.

We were in a comedy show last night, Chris's Devin'O's comedy show, and every week we just talk about Chris's Seveno's comedy shows. And every single guy was just a smoke. I know. Every guy, like, well, we'll talk about it, but I met a guy in Austin. He just came up to me at the pool. We chatted. We exchanged numbers. We've been texting. He lives four blocks away from me in New York. What are the, like four blocks? Like four, like it's crazy. Uh-huh. I met. I was like, okay, well,

see in New York, maybe, I guess, yeah. Which never happens in New York either. No one ever just approaches me cold. But he's in New York. It was weird. But his friend lived at awesome. His friend was probably leaving the charge of that one. Yeah, his friend got weird unto me.

I was talking about this earlier. It's so crazy what I, like, am talking to somebody, and it's just like a normal casual conversation. We're talking about business and food, and they just, like, make this hard left into sex territory. I don't know where it comes from, and you're like, how does this keep happening to you? And I don't know, like, where people, like, think the door is open.

It's not doing anything. Like, I was just hanging out, and I was talking about going to culinary school and, like, cooking, and he was like, what would you cook me for breakfast? That's so crazy. Even, like, the record screech. You're just like, wait, what? And I was, like, trying to, like, sidestep it. And then he, like, doubled down.

I was like, you know, I like cooking breakfast. And he's like, well, you'll be pretty exhausted from me, like, giving you all morning. We'd, like, fuck three times. And then, like, you could give me a massage. I'm like, I'm also giving you a massage. He's like, yeah, well, I've done so much for you in this scenario off. I'm like, are you insane? literally dirty. He's like playing out. He's like porn fantasy.

In front of you and Bella and his friend. Midday at the pool. Not daylight. No one had more confidence than this five foot five man in jeans that had zippers all over them. He had two zippers on his knees, like where your holes would be. Only one knee was unzipped. Also, the fact that Bella, we just took up a lot of space of the hotel house that not that many people were there. We're on the pool deck. It was like 75 degrees. It was perfect. So I was reading a book. So Bella's in between the two of us. These two guys come over. His opener to you, zipper pants.

Short zipper boy. Short zipper king. He goes, what do you work? Why are you working on Friday? Because it was probably 4 p.m. Oh, that was his opening lounge. I really liked. Yes. Yeah. So he's like, why are you working on Friday? Which, listen, it worked out how I should have, but he was whatever. His friend was way hotter. He was 6'4. And I was like, yes, I get that one. I worked out for you how to show. I was like, okay. It worked out for me. No, he was cute.

So basically this short zipper king sat down next to you and the friend comes over and he's standing and I kind of like, he asked me what I was reading. I was like a book about teenage influencers. He was like, are you an influencer? I was like, yeah? Like it just got weird. Bella's like giggling. And then he sat down next to me. We're like laying on these beds and this guy was hitting on you or whatever.

And Bella's in the middle just hearing both sides of it. And it took a minute to get warmed up with the guy I was talking to. Like at first I was like, oh my gosh. Like this is like pulling teeth. like more shy. Well, he's so beautiful. He's never had to learn how to interact. The other one's short, so he's had to, like, learn how to interact with people in his life. But then I, like, kind of liked it. Like, he started to ask me more questions. He was, I was saying, I love L.A. He was like, why do you love L.A.? He was like, what's the worst date you've ever been

on? Like, we kind of started to get there. And then we just started joking about other stuff. And I just thought it was funny for Bella to, like, be in the middle and hearing, like, both sides of us, like, flirting. Were you flirting? Were you flirting, would you say? I was at first. I was really enjoying the conversation. then like somebody just, he just like took such a hard turn. I like, listen, I like, when he started like this sex stuff, I like tried to be polite and then I just like excuse myself to go to the bathroom. I'm not fucking sitting through this.

I don't know like what gave you an idea that like we are in sex conversation territory, but we're fucking not. And I don't care what you look like, by the way. This has nothing to do with how short he is. I don't want somebody like bringing up fucking me three times and then me giving you a massage and me cooking me breakfast. I already see where this is going. I don't get it.

I don't get it. And Ashley's like, what else has happened to you? I was like, I literally don't. don't know. So I got them left. There's some titties. And then I saw, by the way, another guy who I was in love with all day. He had to back up, Raina, because you know I like love your, you're not that yet. Oh, oh, oh.

So I just, I see him walk by. And I'm like, oh, my God, he's going to think that I'm with short zippercang. And so I have to get up and go. So I got to go into the bathroom. There was a guy that was in the lobby that I will tell you about later that I like fell in love with the lobby. I acted like a lunatic. What's later? Let's do this now.

Okay. But I want you to finish your, story, but, okay, to back up, when we first got to Stowe's, I saw this guy sitting on this, on this couch, and he was, like, working, and I got in the elevator, I was, like, looking at him, and then, like, we were talking, and every time I said something, he needed eye contact, and as the elevator was shutting, I, like, peeked out one more time,

and he, like, caught me. And you yelled, to go to the pool. Yeah, go to the pool. So, as the elevator's closing, Raina's, like, following the door, so she could get, like, through the crack as it closed. She goes, go to the pool. And I was like, listen, I've watched Raina, like, Madna. this thing in the elevator.

Like the one time we were Montreal, she talked to this guy in the elevator, fucked him that night. So she can get it done. So I... Faster this out. So like I'm a pretty fucking dozing elevator. Most people wouldn't think, like,

most people wouldn't think like a five-second interaction in a hotel would lead to anything, but you, it does for you. So I was like, he'll probably come up to the pool. She'll probably get it done again. So he does come up to the pool. He's so hot. So hot.

And I see him, like, take up his own space. And then I see him walk by and short zipper king is with me. And he's like, really flirting. Okay. And at first I'm like, maybe it's fine that he wears zippers on his pants and he's two feet tall. Like, it's fine. He seems interesting. You had a mutual connection.

Somebody who's very successful that he's connected with. Yes. And I was like, he's interesting probably. It sounded like he went to a good college. What he does for a living is interesting. He's into food. And he's a great head of hair. And so I was like, all right, maybe I can change your jeans.

Yeah. I'm sorry, but zippers on the knees. Oh, the friends. Let's back up because, like, Raina can't see for shit. And she keeps saying she, like, has glasses, but we've seen them once, and I don't even know if they have actual lenses in them. It's the whole thing. I have a stigmatism.

And listen, I can't. Well, you don't wear context or glasses, and you should never be driving us around. And Bella and I have decided. So you go, the guy that I was talking to, six, four king. Raina goes, points across the pool, the friend that's with short zipper king, and goes, Why is he wearing a suit jacket? He's wearing a denim shirt. Like, he was wearing a denim, like, chambray shacket.

Raina said, why is he wearing a suit jacket at the pool? They were like, bitch, if you don't go to the eye doctor, I have like five pairs of glasses and his suit at the pool. I'm like, he's wearing denim. It was funny because he came over. Because I don't think they, I mean, it wasn't like a hot, steamy day, but I don't think they thought they were going to end up at the pool, right? So he's laying next to me on these bed things.

I go, do you feel weird wearing black jeans and boots at the pool? He was like, I do, actually. Boots at the pool. Boots is black boots at the pool. And then I, like, pull up his hinge. Yeah, so I think Ashley's into him. And then I look over and I just hear her go, is that what your body looks like? And I'm like, what are you doing?

Let me see. I'm like, let me see his body. So she passes me the phone. I'm looking at him like, what are you doing? She's like, I'm looking at his inf profile. I'm like, is this how you write game on dudes? You're like, let me see your hinge profile. He reluctantly showed it to me.

I do think that's like a. flirty thing to do. Like, we're not dating. I just met you. We're obviously on the apps, but totally. When he asked me, what's the worst day you've ever been on? I was like, how much time do you have, you know? So I was just telling him, I was like, I feel like I went on a string of like bad dates during like COVID. You know, when I'm outside, I'm in this tense. And then I told him about Michael Jackson voice guy. I was like, what is happening over there? So we started talking about voices. And I was like, I was a pioneer of this whole voice cat fishing thing. Then he brought up Hinge doing voice memos. And I was like, they got it for months.

And I was like, let me see your hit. He was very reluctant, and he was like, it's not funny, like, whatever, because at this point, he knew I did comedy, and I actually didn't mind it. Everything was pretty on point. So I was like, but one picture he had a shirt off. It wasn't like a selfie. It was like, it was good. It was fine. It was, because I don't love a guy with their shirt off on a dating app, but he looked good.

And I was like, is this your body? And Raina perks up. She was, wait, what's going on over there? Because the zipper king's talking about fucking you? Zipper King's talking about fucking me. I'm like, you're never going to fuck me. Maybe this guy will. Also, what else was on the jeans?

How do we describe? There was like rooshing and patches on the jeans. Those shoes were unreal. Like, one man sees zippers in, like, the knees that is like, I gotta have those. When he came over both, so when he was across the pool, only one knee was onzipped. When he came back over, both knees were zipped. She's laughing too hard. Both the knees were re-zipped, and like, while we were talking, he unsipped both of them.

Like, let me get a little more comfortable. These on my knees. And I look and I go, how do you do? I just had like which need a zip. I'm bummed that he like got too sexual and comfortable too quick because I would have liked me for him. I love the super king for you.

I thought, listen, it definitely happens to be more than your average person probably, but like I didn't open up the door. The only thing I can think is that he said, what are you working on? And I told him what you and I do for a living. And, you know, when I say that like you and I have a show about like dating in relationships, maybe people feel like the doors open a little more. So I want to be like

open-minded that maybe somebody thought the door would be open the lower. But I will say it's just gross and I don't like it. Yes, that's what it is. Myth plays. It feels weird. And you're talking about having sex with somebody? Like, this is crazy. Yeah. And also, like, I lead. And if I don't bring it up, like, you don't get to bring it up. You come off like a fucking creep. Yes, like a creep. And I'm like, you're talking like a pretty big game too, buddy. You're going to fuck me three times in the morning. I'm going to calm all these times. You don't know anything about me? Short zipper. Okay. So, meanwhile, to set the scene. The love, the real love that I had was,

Across the pool. So let me say, this guy is so her type, bald, great body. Ball with a mustache, you guys. Just really good looking, tall. Texas energy in a good way. Like, he just didn't look like a New York guy or L.A. guy. And he was. He was from Texas originally. So you had friends there, more your friends. We went over and hung out with them. And can I just tell you that you'd been eyeing this guy from across the pool. When we go over and we're talking to these friends, so it's like five of these really fun people, we started. talking about Raina's guy. We can see him. He's close by, but he's on a call, so we didn't want to bother him while he was on a call. He was like AirPods in. And they told me something that I can't believe I miss, and I still can't believe it. They said that he had just within the hour had

done a cannonball into the pool. And I'm sorry, how did I miss a cannonball at the Soho house? No one's in the pool. You're not supposed to do cannonballs there. How did I miss a cannonball? I was like, there's no way he did a cannonball. The pool of the Soho House, no one gets into the pool. Like, only the boldest of the bowl. Like, once, listen, you and I got in the pool. Well, you can get the pool of it. You're not doing cannonballs. You're not doing a hands-hand contest. There's no kids.

Francis Ellis, he held his breath underwater. He got in trouble. I heard someone getting trouble for doing a backstroke one time. Like, it's chill. So I was like, was I got into the other guy I was talking to that I missed someone to a cannonball in his pool. 100%. And they swore he did it. So I was like, we were trying to think of Raina's opening line.

So I was like, Raina, you know, this is your last weekend with your titty. He's like, when he walks by, I feel like you need to say, what do you think of these cannonballs? but you took a different direction. I was, I got to, wow, that was insane. What happened was insane. So he was sitting by himself and we're like all clearly talking about him. He's, I don't know, six yards away. He was close.

He was close to us. It was like, I think it's really sexy. He was working at the pool. He's clearly on like work calls. He was like having a beer and a pizza. And my girlfriend, Olivia, was like, you know, it would be funny. He sent him a pizza after he finishes the pizza. And I was like, okay, I love that move.

I want to do that someday. That's funny. But he finished his drink. He was like, clearly. cause we're all looking at him. There's like nine of us looking at this guy. He's being so cool about it. And I'm like, I don't get his attention. I see him put his shirt on. I'm like, oh my God, it's like happening. I need to figure out how to get

this guy's attention. It's like bubbling up inside of me. My girlfriend had these flowers. She's like, go take him a rose and say like, well, you accept this rose. I was like, oh my God, what I do? So he gets dressed. He like stands up. He walks by by and just out of my body. I just Tourette's syndrome screaming of, do you want to hang out with this?

Well, you go, hey, you were like, hey, which is fine. fine. And then he turns and you go, do you want to hang out with us? And then he was I mean, I thought he like rejected you. I was like, oh my gosh, this is awkward. Because he was like, I'll be back, which is like what you would say if you're leaving and you're never coming back.

Yeah, of course. He would like stutter stepped a little bit. It was like, I'm going to change and I'm going to change him back. And I did come back. He did come back. And I was impressed. He like held his own in front of everybody. There's like nine people rapid firing questions at him. We asked him about the cannonball. I asked him about the

cannonball. Did he deny it? He denied it. Denied the cannibal. The Nye is a cannibal. Yeah. So I'm still so... I didn't do a cannibal. He said I didn't do it. He refused to acknowledge it.

But all these witnesses had said he did. All these witnesses, there was nine people saw you cannonball, sir. Suffrave me and Ashley. Bella, did you see him cannibal? No. I find it hard to believe in this man. But we should... It's not about seeing it.

It's about hearing it. You hear a cannibal. Hear it. So they said that he cantonball popped up and, like, looked left and right and was kind of like smirking. Like, he was proud of himself. that we want to be challenged of the cannibal.

And I was like, that guy fucks. That is a fun guy. I love it. Yeah, let's be clear. We support the cannibal. Even though he's denied it.

He sucks. Well, get to it. So he comes back. I was like he's pretty cute. I don't know. I still felt like he was a little bit, not naggy in front of us.

I felt like I was kind of trying to joke around with him and he like wasn't really getting into it. He was, I mean, listen, there is a thing that people do if they kind of are just like the worst. and they'd like you if you're a comedian in a weird way. It'll just be like, oh, you are. Like, it's either they think it's so cool or they get a little weird

and, like, you never want the latter. Like, once you tell people like, I'm a performer, I do comedy, like, usually the response of a cool person is like, wow, that's so awesome. Not like, you know, anything that feels like, like, challenging it. Like, they're challenging you or something. Yeah, I just, I felt like it was very much this,

like, you better impress me, dance for me, clown. Yeah. But I was like, what do you do you know? Oh, you think you're funny? Yeah, like, weird stuff like that. So I was like, what are you doing tonight? I said that we were on his comedy show. He was like, well, I've soft plans.

And Ashley goes, we prefer hard plans. I said, like, kind of under my breath. I was like, we prefer hard plans. And he didn't hear it. But then when he asked, then Raina, like, recharitated to him. Yeah. I was, like, feeding her life.

Ashley's using my ear on the day. And I was like, we're here for one night only. So, like, give me your hard plans. And he was like, okay, so we should, like, exchange information, whatever. he like gave me and he was like he went to give me his phone number I think I must have pulled up my Instagram and he's like oh you're like an Instagram

you prefer Instagram I was like yeah sure so listen I want somebody to go to my Instagram and look me up and see all these videos of me so um later on the night I sent him I don't really wait for somebody we're there for one night I was like okay I'm trying to like go up a drink this guy I get it a little bit so um I decided to open up with like a cue line

I said for the record I didn't think it was a cannonball it's nice to meet you know a winky face yeah um he waits like two hours and writes, thanks for clarifying. I was super concerned. Also, winky face. I was like, okay. It's like a winky face. Fine. Whatever. And I said, I'm glad I didn't ruin your evening.

Then he says, tell me a joke. To which Ashley said, right back, send me your dick. So, yes, I said right back, show me your dick, L.O.L. Which now I wish I would have. And then that was my first thing. My other thing was, you say knock knock. He says who's there. you show, push your titties.

And then Chris DeStefano said... Or in Chris. So I'm like crowd sourcing a response to this guy. So it's me and Chris and I'm like, how do we... Look, what do we say back to him? So I'm crowd sourcing jokes to say back to him. Honestly, if it was a guy in New York and I was going to like, I could like see him and I would never respond to that.

I think it's super rude. Like, tell me a joke. No, no, it's... There's nothing worse for a comic. To tell me a joke. Like, we hate it. It's so rude. So Chris said, Chris goes to say Joe Biden's presidency.

which Chris is, I mean, what is politics? Who really knows? He's not like a Trump support. No, it doesn't matter. It's very Texas specific. Yeah, so I said, no, say Joe Biden won the election. And we start, like, die. And I'm like, if he gets it, I knew he wouldn't.

I knew deep down. I was like, he's not going to even respond in like a funny way. But I was like, just do it anyway. We were like gassing you up. Yeah, I felt like most people would, like get it and laugh about it. Like, you meet me. I'm like a girl from the Northeast. I'm clearly Jewish, Greenberg, whatever.

So I thought he would think it was funny at least. And I said Joe Biden won the election. That's my Texas theme material. It crushes. And he writes back, does it, though, question mark. And I was like, for this reason, I'm out. This is so rude. I really don't like being nagged.

It's like, you couldn't have just, like, laughed a little bit and like, been fun about it. Like, you're not my guy. Listen, you're not my guy. No, he wasn't. Yeah, I'm like so annoyed. He just wasn't. He just wasn't cool enough. So it didn't work out, but, you know, so you still tonight in Dallas.

And then your guy texted you. I mean, he was being cute. He was being cute. Yeah. I mean, we'll see. Okay, we are going to keep this conversation going. We have such a fun, funny car topic. I feel like we're very on a road trip discussing things.

That's kind of what we went with today. Well, should we talk about other shows? Yeah. Do you have anything? So I have been stalking stuff to watch while I am home. And I will say, I mean, I'm not sure how the recovery will be, but the doctor has ensured me to be like three days. And I should be up and moving around.

But I am trying to stay home, I guess, for like five or six days. So I'm banking episodes of Vanderpump. Real Housewives, Sex and City. And I think that's it right now. And Yellow Jackets. Yes. So we were told to watch Yellow Jackets. Cheer, season two came out.

Haven't watched Cheer yet. Haven't watched it. So you're, you look here, right? We loved it. Yeah. I love that. I'm going to watch that. And then, so I started Hype House. Raina talked about it last week.

I feel as though I disagree with Raina so far, but she says that it gets, like, darker towards the end. So I felt like I was expecting. it to feel more dark, to feel like all these kids were broken, and I just didn't feel that way. Like, I feel like you made it sound like it was really going to be so bad. I feel like I've seen three or four episodes. They're not even making content. They're just kind of hanging out.

Like, to me, it feels like any other reality show that just so happens to be social media-based. Like, it's not that dramatic. Like, you can tell they're kind of manufacturing drama just the way they used to on the hills or anything like that. So I don't, I do, you said you think I'll come around and it feels darker towards the end. but we felt like the D'Amelo show felt so, like, to me, at this point of watching it, yes, they're talking about getting canceled and stuff like that, but it doesn't feel depressing and it doesn't feel like these kids are, like, ruined from social media, like, it felt like the D'amilio.

So it feels like they're not reading negative comments. Like, it doesn't, I feel like I haven't seen this, like, dark side of social media on the show. It just seems like they're hanging out at this house. Yeah, the second half is a lot darker and they talk a lot more about getting canceled and just feeling like they can't have, like, normal personal relationships to any and it feels like all these kids, their relationships are transactional.

And yeah, I mean, and they feel sad and they're 19 years old and it's just like nobody should have to deal with that stuff at that age. It felt really sad. You'll finish it. Yeah, I'll see. I'll see. They just, they feel like real friends though. Like, they don't feel like they're just like, I'm only friends with you because you're good for my social media. Like, they seem like they're real friendships. Some of the friendships seem real to me.

I think it's, you have to form relationships with people like that when you're at that level because who else could ever understand what you're going through. It's just like you and I love traveling together and working together because, like, my life is so specific, you're the only person that ever understand it. Yeah. I mean, listen, I may or may not finish it.

I don't think it's like that. I'm not like dying to finish it. I'm not like, oh my God, what happens next? Like, I think it's good. I don't, I'm not like, I don't know. So that's my assessment now. We're probably both right. Also, it's an opinion thing.

It's subjective. But I just don't, I don't know. I'm not like so into it. I feel like I'm just going to like kind of abandon it and probably watch cheer, you know? Mm-hmm. So anyway, that's still a recommendation. I don't know. I don't think, again, I think we have like one or two more episodes left of and just like that.

and then we'll review the whole thing. I just, I want to rip it to shreds weekly, but it's just we can't be like a sex in the city. Or we can't be like a podcast. It's just about that. But it just keeps getting worse. It's like an abomination. I feel like, and I've hesitated to do this,

I want to keep like a running doc about like every episode called why I hate all of it. And somebody said something. I don't remember it was an article I read or somebody wrote an email about it, that it's like it might be a misstep, but at least they're like addressing these things, like cultural appropriation and being non-binary. and that it might be a little forced,

but at least they're doing it. I don't know. I don't think they're doing any favors to people by making it feel so forced. Yeah, I mean... There's a way to write content that feels natural. Yeah, 100%.

We always talk about how we love inclusivity of shows these days. I just, I'm not... Show feels bad. That, that is... I'm talking about the plot lines, the writing, like, aside from that. Like, these, they just...

Whatever. We don't need to get it. We do this every time. I usually end up cutting it. We've had to cut it. It's still bad, is all I'm saying. Every week, I... just so you guys know, I get worried that it's going to get good.

Ashley told me she watched yesterday. My first question was, was it good? Carrie went on a date, which I didn't hate, but it wasn't... That's the bar for this show. There was 10 minutes I didn't hate. Yeah, exactly. Oh, okay. No, actually, speaking of...

I'm glad that we talked about hype house because a lot of those boys are soft boys. Soft boys, what we're talking about today. So we heard this term. You introduced me to the term soft boys, and then I, like, went deeper on the internet, And I feel like I didn't know what it was, but like they described it. We will describe it to you guys. You guys gave us funny stories. And we're going to talk about what it is, how to spot them.

This is such a funny term. So why don't you like explain a little bit of what it is? Sure. And we'll tell you how to spot them and look out for them. The way it came up actually was because I was flirting with a soft boy recently. He was really fun to flirt with. And I just knew he was a soft boy. And then I was chatting with another friend who I never realized that they,

they hooked up and I was like, did you guys have sex? I can't imagine having sex. He's going to look deep in your eyes and then like leave you after and never talk to you again. Right. And she goes, yeah, I got the vibe. He was an emo ghoster. And I go, you made a soft boy. Like that was another alternative term.

Like that just came out of her mouth. I was like, emo ghoster is very funny. Because it is. It's like the guy that's going to like look deep in your eyes. Maybe cry a little bit. And maybe cry a little bit. And then never talk to you again. Okay.

So I just. pulled this. I mean, there's various articles and whatnot, but I like this glamour. I think it's from the UK, but Blamor, UK, but pulled straight from this article, and we can like this too. It says, described by Urban Dictionary as a fuckboy, but without the cocky attitude, the soft boy appears to be emotionally literate. Yes, the bar is low and is attuned to his and your feelings. He, again, is usually he replies promptly to text, listens carefully to your problems, and genuinely, sorry about the reading guys, we're like bumpy on the the car listens carefully to your problems and genuinely seems like an all-around good person,

but like his fuck boy cousin, he's prone to leaving a trail of broken, not to mention baffled hearts in his wake. Yes, there are plenty of men who are just genuinely kind, emotionally mature people, but the reality is soft boys do exist on the modern dating scene and their master manipulators. By using a caring pretense, they manipulate their romantic partner into doing exactly what they want. So this is the thing. It's not about crying, being emotional, you know, it's that it's kind of an act. Yeah, so part of this is positive. you know, it's a rejection of toxic masculinity, which I like. You know, it can be...

I love that we're teaching men to cry, to be emotional, to be attuned with women's rights and your body. And I love that that's what we're teaching men today. And we're not shitting on that. It's when they take that and they weaponize it against you to act like a fuck boy anyways. Yes. They're like, they might act like this. Like, listen, Lil'Huddy looks like the softest soft boy. He has no definition in his arms.

Everyone from... It's also... It's also... Everyone in K-pop. Soft boy also could translate to soft body. Yeah, soft body. I think the visual is Timothy Shalame. That's the visual.

Also, why is Lil Huddy? Why is it Lil? Like, that's like a rap thing. Like, just call yourself Chase Hudson. I'll never get over this. Well, maybe, okay, here's my theory. It's like Hudson is his last name. And like when he was, when he was like growing up, like kids in school were just like

Law Hudson. And he just, it's, maybe he's. Okay, maybe he's a brother that's big. Big, big, honey and little huddy. It just, it feels like rap hip hop that we've, you know, that's where you usually see a little. And it's so weird because he's, doesn't his music very like, emo machine gun Kelly by it? Like, is it kind of like, yeah. He lives in like a Victorian-looking mansion.

His mansion, when someone said it's like a cheesecake factory, I was like, nothing's ever been more accurate. 100% with a hundred different, like, game ball machines. You guys got to watch high houses. Just for the decor. Gore. Anyway, Lil Huddy. Loddy, Chase Hudson. Timothy Chalameh. Little Timmy.

So, yes, you said it earlier. Well, Drake is a soft boy. So Drake is the definition of soft boy. He's like, he is so soft and he's such a little fucking fuck boy. Yeah. I mean, he can seem a little harder here and there. I mean, he's a rapper. I feel like just recently people started to realize he was a fuck boy,

but it's like you can't actually fully call him that. So he's kind of king of the soft boy. He is king of the soft boys. Like, that's what it is. If you're like, it took me a minute to, like, fully come around to the definition of this. Because it's, it's, it's guys in Brooklyn. That's what it is. Like, I feel like there's not a lot of, like, guys in Dallas that are soft boys.

No, no, no, no. People in Texas are, like, I cannot relate. There's not a Texas soft boy. If you've, like, driven past Brooklyn, you know what it is. I hate it, honestly. And I, I hate it, and we'll get to some of the, we'll read some of your definitions. But I, of course, when a guy that's emotionally mature has EQ, you know, is attuned to his own feelings and my own, a feminist, of course.

But, like, it does when it feels like it's not authentic in a manipulation to make women believe they're a certain way and they're not. It's, like, really gross. I love that we're teaching men to be more, like, attuned to women and, like, a little bit softer and emotionally adept. But they're like, I'm still going to find a way to be a dick. Yeah. So that's kind of the definition.

Some of you guys didn't, this is not so mainstream. Like, we asked you guys to define it on Instagram. Some of you just said it was, like, a sensitive guy. but that's not what it is. I guess you could, because you, whatever, definition you want to use. Like, this is an urban dictionary word at the end of the day. Like, this is a very, like, new age word,

but we're not talking about just straight, sensitive guys. Nothing wrong with that. I think, actually, I'm really attracted to sensitive guys. Like, I feel like when I look at the spectrum of masculinity and somebody who's, like, really tough and not in touch with their emotions, not in touch with mine, like, I don't like it. I don't want it.

Like, I've always said I've been a little more attracted to people that skew a little more feminine, feminine emotionally. Like my last boyfriend was really in touch the emotions. He wasn't a pussy or a soft boy. He just like was like that. It's like guys that have a lot of sisters

or like raised by an only mother, a single mother. Everyone was raised by an only mother. An only mother. Yeah. And I do, I do feel like I can kind of spot it because they have that like fuck boy veins

running through them. I know. Are we good? They said fuck boy blood running through their veins. That's face. You know. Oh, like, you can sense it. I know.

I was flirting with this guy. I was like, this fucking guy. And he has like a soft voice. He's got a soft body. Like it. And he just, like, I was enjoying it, but I just felt it. I was like, oh my gosh. I know.

Listen, you can just sense it. I think that now that you guys know it, it's just, it's not someone who's sensitive in a pussy. It's like somebody you can tell is like full of shit. Yes. They're like smelling their own farts. They're just like so full of their own bullshit. I feel like they have an interaction with a woman and like she kind of,

she is like really into it. You know, they're really connecting and he walks away and he's like, got her. You know what I mean? D tricked her again. I know. And like I think that like some of them might not know what they're doing, but like it's the majority of them like know what they're doing. They're doing it on purpose.

Again, they're like weaponizing this wokeness against you. Yeah. Should we go through the one-liners of what our audience said? Okay. Let's talk about Softboy's correct answer. Although we got an incorrect answer to me guys. It's not your fault. You didn't know.

Yeah, I appreciate that so many people Googled this. Yeah. But, okay, we'll dive into some of these. Beanie boys. Just because you wear a beanie doesn't mean you're a soft boy, but all soft boys wear beanies. And a lot of fuck boys do, too. I saw a guy at the pool yesterday.

Are you a fuck boy? I am a fuck boy. I'm trying to be a fuck boy. We saw a guy at the pool yesterday, 75-degree weather wearing an orange beanie, bright orange. Jack eyes? Body language. Like, listen, I. I sprawl out.

I love to sprawl. This guy was sprawled out on his stomach eating. So he was kind of up. I couldn't get over. He was up in like sphinx pose. If you do yoga, you know this. Like he was eating. That has got to be tough on the lower back.

I don't know how you eat laying down like that. That was a weird way to lay and eat. I know. But yeah, I'm a fuck boy. I don't love anything more than an orange beanie. I went for Christmas. I had a picture of Kermit on the front. I love it.

I love this one. This is like the exact. definition. Ask me to split the bill because he believes in equality. I mean, I don't know. Listen, like, it's a funny thing. We want equality. We want to be equal, but then we still want to pay for stuff. Like, I mean, but if a guy's like, I want to split the bill for your equality, I feel like it's a little bit of a red flag. Listen, I think that like we're all out here making money and working. You and I can't say it enough. I don't think anybody owes us anything. I think the longer we do the podcast, the more I feel like I would really like to split the bill with

somebody, I don't feel like they owe me anything. But if they bring up that it's because of equality, we've crossed a line. I think it's a, I think that's a red flag, for sure. Okay. Always makes himself the victim when talking to other girls about their exes. So he's just always a victim. I mean, there's plenty of different types of guys that are always to play the victim. But I feel like that is like a sign of it.

Like he's always gotten a heartbroken and all that. His exes have been monsters and that kind of thing. Okay, so hear me out. Fuck boys, all my exes are crazy. That's the term. Saw boys. All my ex, I was a victim. They were mean to me.

They broke my heart. Yes, they were really tender. Yes. Okay, so that's a differentiator. Yes. Okay. Where's a the future? Whereas the future is female shirt and then tells me I'm a tease.

Insane. That's what I think we see a lot. You know what to remind me of is whatever. I'll stay on the show. When we had no a demon on the show like four years ago. And he was talking about like me too. and how he like supports women. And then he told the whole studio that I jerked him off

when I was in eighth grade. Which you did it. I mean, I did do. Oh, that's right. You did. Oh, yeah, I definitely did it. And then he took a shirt off in the studio. People were working.

It was like a tech startup space. Can you? I'm sure it was off. You was imagine this. There was like dozens of people and he was walking around the shirt up. I mean, he's a workout person. But this is exactly what it is. I look out for guys that try to talk about women's science and equality.

And they act like sexually like an asshole. Oh my God. Yeah. I mean, nothing turns me on more than like a guy. that's vocal about like women's rights and stuff, but there feels like there's a line. There feels like where they go too much. They're too extra with it.

This isn't that they're like at the Women's March or anything, but it's plenty of guys that aren't soft boys go to the Women's March. But like it just, I don't know how to explain it. The last thing I wanted is to come across and discourage guys from doing this because I think it's very, it's incredible. You know, we need men to back us up just like, you know, it's the same as like a racial movement. Like we all need to be in this together.

You know what I mean? But sometimes it feels. like you're going too hard and then behind closed doors you're like yeah you're going to call someone a cocktees but you're wearing a futures female lingua franca embroidered sweater it just feels manufactured it feels like you're saying it because you heard these buzzwords and you know it's the right way to be and ambiguously you you care about women's rights but me sitting in front of you you don't care about respecting me yeah the person that's actually here yeah and like listen it starts with me it starts with you treating me nice right you caring about women's rights

Yeah. He's like posting about abortion rights. Meanwhile, he's like taking his condom off when you're fucking, which is an assault. What's a call? Stealthing. Stealthing. Bella and Ashley Time out. We're going to, um, with someone email us. We might do an episode about it. It's a terrible thing. Okay. Next one. Obsessed with their mothers. This can be a fuck boy too. This, and this is just, this is not that you love your mom. Like, we've talked with this before. Like, if a guy is like the only woman he's like respects in his life as his mom. You know, it's like a, they're a little too much. They just want to show you. They just want to show you. that they love women, but it's only one. It's only one, and they go so hard for their moms, and it feels weird. Like, any of these things, it's funny, because, like, all of these things are good things. Carol was right, it's cared about your mom.

Yes. When it feels like it's fucking bullshit, or it's too much, it probably is. Yeah. Okay. The, I can make you a handcrafted, multicolored ravioli at my place, then fucks you into a new dimension, boys.

I don't know how I feel about this. Like, because I think, again, if it feels off, then it's the thing. But a guy, there's, there are guys that, like, have that sensitive side. I mean, your ex. Like, sensitive guy, he's sitting around drawing, and then he's, can fuck.

You know what I mean? Did she just describe Kane? This guy sounds great. Oh, did she just describe Kane? I was like, I did. You come in, he's, like, coloring. And then he's just going to, like, dick you down.

Yeah, he, like, built a movie theater in his house for me once, so it was very sweet. And I, like, sucked his dick, like, three times. This is great. Yeah, so sometimes, like, some of the stuff on paper for him would fall into this, but he just isn't. He's an authentic guy. That's, like, how he is. You know what I mean?

It's the whole fact of, like, it's not feeling authentic. Okay, douchebags who cover up their misogyny with poorly painted fingernails and smudged eyeliner. She's making fun of how they paint their nails. She's a little honey. That's a little honey. I also don't, again, it's not about the nails. It's not about the eyeliner.

It's a cover-up. Yep. It's just a trick-y. Yes. Those skinny arms. Okay. Claims to be a fan of this, but it's actually super misogynistic. I will slut shame me.

Oh, yikes. So here's, like, a situation that I saw happen to somebody that I know. She was dating somebody. And I think that he, like, really hammered her on, like, opening up her mind about monogamy and femininity and what relationships look like. And he, like, wouldn't stop happy for, like, a long period of time about, like, changing the way she saw the world. And he was just doing it so he could fuck other girls. Yeah. So, like, if it feels like somebody is doing this because they want you to come around,

a certain way of thinking for their own benefits. That's what it is. Like, this whole, like, I support women, and I think that we should open our minds up. But really, I'm just going to use this to, like, cheat on you and sleep with other people. Fuck that person. Take your money and, you know, all this stuff.

Okay. A skinny little bitch boy. Okay, hear me out. Are soft boys ever jacked? I can't imagine it. No. However, sometimes there are, like, really jacked guys that are, like, really sensitive at the inside,

but they're not soft boys. they just are like, you know what I mean? Uh-huh. Like I'm thinking of a friend of mine that's like, he's super jacked, he's like bald. He kind of looks scary, but he's like so sensitive and sweet. But he's not a soft boy. Yeah, I guess you could look a little more jacked on the outside. It's mostly a way.

It says physicality's way you just see it first. Yeah. Just always be on alert, guys. Yes. Oh, you're... I told him he was too sensitive and then he cussed me out for three days through text. This came up a lot in that Instagram account. It's called Beam Me Up.

if you guys want to see just like conversations that look like this. But yeah, it's a lot of guys being like really emo and then you're ignoring them and they're like, well, fuck you anyway. Yes. I don't care about you. Yeah, exactly. How did this turn? Uh-huh. Someone just wrote a sensitive fuck boy. That's kind of what it is. Yeah.

Yeah. Sense. Okay, I will unpack this. Daily OOTD mirror picks. Um, outfit of the day, mirror picks. To me, this is just like, it just sounds like an influencer guy. It could go along with fuck boys. To me, like, guys, I always say, like, if there's a guy that has an Instagram pick and he's just looking off left into the distance at nothing, I don't want it.

It's not my fine. I mean, any guy that just takes himself too seriously, which that is going to be, like, if a guy would post a photo and it's like a model shot and he's like looking off in the distance and it's like portrait and it looks gorgeous, like he better have a funny caption about how corny it is. That's my guy. Like, it better not be some Walt Whitman quote, you know, for the year. 300 followers. Like, you better, like, be on Instagram as a model. There actually better be 500,000 followers. I don't know. It's not for me. It's not a vibe that's for me. It's also totally fine if that's your vibe. Like, so many of these bachelor-style people, like, they do stuff like that. But it's, it's just, you know, that's just not what I'm into. I'm a

stand-up comedian. Like, I don't want anybody that takes themselves to seriously. My friends don't either, you know? That is so true. And that's what that guy did to me. Tell me a joke. Ew. That's a crush, though. It's like, you know, I need some of the, exactly. It's going to, like, people are more playful with themselves. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Okay. When they won't pull my hair while hitting it from the back because of respect. I mean, it's not, listen, because of equality. Some guys don't feel comfortable doing stuff because they really just feel like it's disrespectful, and that's fine. Like, some guys, like, I don't want to hit you. I don't want to spank you. I don't want to choke you. I just, but I don't know that that's a soft boy. That might just be a

A sensitive flower. I do think that there are probably, and again, because we are raising men today, I think so much more to be more sensitive to what women want and to like feel out where the boundaries are, that yes, some men probably are afraid to do something like that. I think you can just communicate to somebody that I like this stuff. Like, I don't feel degraded when somebody calls me a slut. I love it. I feel upset when you don't. But the soft boy would tell you, if you're like his girlfriend, he's not going to pull your hair hitting it from the back because of respect. but he's going to go like fuck a hooker and spit on her.

Uh-huh. Yes. Also, I don't want to be told what is respectful to be. I feel perfectly respected, even if you call me a slut, because you feel respectful to me outside of the bedroom. Yeah. So to me, that's just about, like, drawing sexual boundaries with somebody. Okay, the next one is controversial.

I don't know. I don't know that I agree. I don't agree. Someone wrote Clayton the Bachelor. He's more of that, like, jacked guy that's, like, sense of the inside that I was talking about. Like, he's like, seems, I don't know. We don't know him well enough.

Someone said we were giving him too much credit. He seems a little bit like a marshmallow on the inside. He doesn't seem like the smartest guy. You know what I mean? He just, nothing about him feels calculated. Yeah, he feels nice and conservative and Christian and just like a little basic. Yeah, he's basic. I don't know that he's a soft boy.

It doesn't, I'm trying to think of a bachelor that's, or anybody that's been on the show that's a soft boy. That guy, Brendan, he was kind of just more of a fuck boy. Yeah. To me, soft boy is more calculated. There's nothing about Clayton that is calculated at all. He just seems like a nice, sweet guy from middle America. Intelligent enough to think of it. Manipulate anybody.

You see what you get. I mean, you saw the first premiere trailer. He's, he's midst of everybody, he fucked all of them. He's not even smart enough to lie. Like, one thing about me, I'm going to be fucking. Would not choke me in bed. Same thing as the hair pulling thing. I mean, again, but some people just aren't comfortable.

Yeah. It's if they were telling you, not choking you because they respect you but they're going to choke the next girl that they you know or you know what I mean it's just weird um when it's an act okay cry when they break up with you after they cheated that's it that's the one this is a soft boy this is someone that's just like very sad they couldn't believe they could have done this to you however i also see like you're in a long-term relationship with somebody and they cheated on you and they feel terrible and they're remorseful and they're crying you know what i mean like you're gonna know

if it like feels fake i just think you should say to your like gut check yourself how does this feel Does this feel honest and genuine? Like, yeah, I agree with you. I think plenty of people can cheat and feel really remorseful and terrible. And Ashley and I have very open views about cheating. I don't believe once a cheater, always a cheater. I think that there's a lot of layers to this. But yeah, someone is crying and trying to make you feel bad.

Yeah, that's what it is. Yes. Like, somehow they did something terrible and all of a sudden they're the victim. What? It's a total manipulation. Okay, this next one, she says, at Ashley, the guy whose voice changes when a dog enters. the room. That doesn't have to be. Plenty of people have a dog voice. Everybody has

a dog voice. I don't... Ash's whole family has dog voices, and it's adorable. It can be a little bit of a turnoff when a guy gets too... I don't know how to describe it too high pitch, two, like, baby voice with a dog. You know what I mean? Like, I'm thinking of my brother, he doesn't have some, like, baby talk voice

with Reggie. You know what I mean? This doesn't track is manipulative to me. Every one of these things is just to be manipulated towards you. It just came up, so let's talk about it. Yeah, I mean, we're in the car, what else we do it? Literally what else. Bella, how are you doing? What's our ETA? You're doing great.

We have 30 minutes. That's it? Wow. Wow. We're killing it. Well, you're killing it. Well, you're killing it, Bella. Good job.

Yeah. Yeah, all of these things, you say to yourself as this being used to manipulate me. The dog boys, no, it's adorable. Well, but I'm saying too much. I don't. I'm just not attracted to it. Yeah. But I don't think that they're a soft boy.

I just think they're weird. All right. Someone sent Timothy Shalameh sends a lot of emojis while texting. That could go either way. Bellis has attracts. but I It's That's just a crying emoji

And they said a lot of the crying emoji I said a lot of emojis I'm not a soft boy Okay Sorry I'm not good enough For just actually talking through something I guess this like You know I'm a victim

For me kind of stuff Drives a Prius That does not have to mean Not at all Anybody can drive a Prius Ask you your favorite books So they can tell you That's a sapiens

That's literally every man on earth Sorry girls That is that we can apply this Literally every person alive Except for Clayton, he definitely doesn't read. Can't read. All right, boys who get upset if you don't text good morning and good night every fucking day, Bella, is not a thing?

She said yes, but listen, I'm a soft boy, okay? I'm going to come out as a soft boy. Like, you didn't say good morning to me? No, I mean, like, I love it when somebody says good night to me and says good morning to me. I love it. I, like, live for it. I love it, too, but, like, they get mad if you don't do it?

Oh, I don't know. I get disappointed if somebody doesn't do it. I wouldn't verbalize that I was mad, but I might bring it up. frame is a soft boy. And then when you borrow a boy's sweatshirt and it doesn't fit because he's basically malnourished, law-hadi. All the K-pop guys. That's my bar. Like, it's like, what's a guy's body type? I have to be able to wear a sweatshirt. It should be big on me. Like, if I put on a man's sweatshirt is just like a crude, a tight crop, what? If I see your arm cuddling me and your arm is thinner than mine, out. I mean, again, that's just a preference. A way you find attractive. Some

people really want like a really thin guy and there's nothing wrong with that no and some people want a thin guy thin girl bigger guy bigger girl whatever yeah this isn't listen you guys know let's take this for the greatest salt we're not shooting on body types the way people feel it's just I like big arms I'll say it I'll come out I don't want noodle arms I love a big back I want a huge back muscles I have back I have back you do a back muscle so that's probably my favorite part of a band's body is his back I just I mean broad yeah just because I don't you know you know me Like, I'm not, yeah, I prefer somebody that's bigger than me, but I'm not so crazy about height. Like, I will date a guy that's my height if they're like, I want them to be a little bigger, you know what I mean?

Absolutely. On the red carpet. Yeah. I'll be taller in heels, but you're being taller or equal height. I mean, if we're the same height, flat foot, like, I'm going to be taller in heels, but I want them to like be like Channing Tatum. Yes, me too. You know? You know?

You know? You feel me? I feel you. I feel you. I feel you. I'm trying to fuck. Um, you guys, just listen, be aware of weaponized wokeness. and people trying to manipulate you.

And if it feels like it's not genuine, it probably isn't. Think of, think of, can you picture them after having some sensitive conversation where you connect with them so much? Can you picture them walking away, like laughing like tricked her, you know? Yes, 100%. I think that like sometimes it's a little harder to spot it. But once you start feeling like this is fucking bullshit. I mean, that's the whole point today.

It's just beware. Yes. Beware the soft boy. Listen, just beware of everyone all the time. Soft boys, soft boys. Just stay on high alert. Yeah. Okay, we have some emails we wanted to read of people's experiences with soft boys.

Yeah, do you want to start? Okay. Email one. She says, my freshman year of college, I dated the senior scandalous. Actually, he was an R.A. in my building and we almost got in trouble. And he was dot, dot, dot, very in tune with his emotions. He was a music major, so I hope that helps to explain that. Anyway, we dated for like a month and then he decided to end things.

let me set the scene. He texts me, hey, we need to talk. I walk down to his dorm room. He tells me to take a seat on the futon while he sits in his desk chair. He starts to say, I've had so much fun with you, and then stops and goes, wait. Proceeds to turn around, open his computer, launch Spotify, and then plays to build a home by the cinematic orchestra on loop while he explained that we couldn't be together anymore. It was a roller coaster and I can't hear that song without laughing now. He harmonized your breakup. He, yeah, he did a score while he dumped you. That is so funny. He was like, she can't handle it unless I play a soundtrack. It just feels like he's performing. He's like, it's performative. Like, I want to. That's the word, yes. I'm like playing a character.

I'm going to break up with you. I need music to be in the background. Who thinks like that? And he's just like, you're so delicate, you can't handle this. Let me play something like soft and harmonious to soften the blow. I don't think that's it. Like, I think he was like, I think he was like, I am going to make this breakup cinematic.

It has nothing to do with her. and her feelings. Okay, I think you're right. He's like, I want to remember this as a great performance by me. By me. I think you're right. Okay, she said my ex was the softest. He used to get really drunk and then cry about how much he loved his family and friends.

We're talking pouty lips, swollen face cry. Kim Kardashian cry face. And would FaceTime them to tell me he cared about them while it was endearing. It definitely got in the way of our sex life sometimes. Anyways, we broke up because he was emotionally, unavailable, shocker. So that's interesting that he would, like, be so in his feels about how incredible and amazing, like, the life he built is.

But then he, like, wouldn't give you anything emotionally. Yeah, it's interesting. Like, listen, I'm emotional about my friends and my family, too. You know, and especially if he's experienced any loss, like, he gets choked up. But, like, the fact that she's saying it got in the way this sex life, like, he's why I got to call my mom and cry real quick before I penetrate you. Like, what are we talking about it? And he couldn't be available to her.

Like, that's kind of... It feels manufactured again. It feels like I'm just going to tell you about all. these things, they're so deep in me, but I'm not going to give you this. Yes. I mean, that, that is part of it. Like, these soft boys want you to think that they are, like, so sensitive and deep, and they have these deep connections. Like, they want to come across as this person who has a bunch of love and light in their life, but they're, they don't. I mean, it's, yeah. That's exactly what it is, though. It's, they, they have painted this picture of them being a certain

way to, like, get you to like them, but they, like, won't afford you the same kindness, like, once you're in. Yeah. It's very strange. Yeah. It's kind of narcissistic. It is. Yeah. Okay. So here's another one. She says we had worked together for years, became really close friends, and we ended up fucking around and finding out with each other, aka we fucked a lot. And he led me on. He called himself a soft boy. Sort of came across as one at first glance. And it's why we started seeing each other and why I developed feelings for him. Eventually, I told him and he said that telling me was very brave and for me to never be afraid to tell someone I like them again in the future. Now he's dating my. my ex-best friend who I had known since preschool and she and I are no longer friends. Oh my God. I love that he commended her for her bravery and he's like, oh, no, no, I'm not attracted to you. I'm just proud of you. Best friendship.

That is crazy. Yeah. Okay. And then finally, I was on a second date with this guy. I was discussing my parents' divorce. Nothing out of the ordinary set divorce. His face got all red and he excused himself to the bathroom. It came back sniffling and tearful.

When I asked him what's wrong, he said he had something in his eye, but it was clear he was crying. No shade, but shouldn't I be the one crying? I mean, listen, the story made me laugh. I mean, it could just be the, like, his parents had a bad divorce or he felt bad for you. I will cry when somebody I love is going through something terrible. Like, I mean, I still remember some of the worst phone calls when my people I love have called me to say somebody died, somebody was splitting up. Like, my friend called me, she was breaking up with someone. I started crying. But this person doesn't know you, really. It's a second date. Oh, yeah. Second date. So for a second to have this type of emotional reaction feels, again, kind of manufactured.

We need more context if he, like, ended up ghosting or he turned down to be a fuckboy because he might have just been, like, dealing with something. I don't like when I'm, I'm, like, super emotional. I cry a lot, but I try not to, like, when a friend or somebody care about is telling me something that's, like, really hard, like, the hard that they went through or something they're going through, like, I will feel myself start to cry, but I try to reel it in because the second you start crying, it becomes more about you. Like, you know what I mean?

And then they're feeling they have to console you while they're, it's just a weird thing. You know what I mean? Like, I'll feel like, oh my God, I'm doing it. It's happening. My eyes are feeling up with tears. Like, I feel like we've had so many conversations. I've had so many conversations with even like exes and my brother and people I care about. And I'm like, don't start crying, Ashley, because then all of a sudden I'm there,

they feel bad for me when they're the one that was hurting in the first place. So I don't know. Like Charlotte. They made Charlotte that character that's crying over what happened to care. I mean, listen, I feel things really deeply. I think that is what love is truly. If you ask me to define love, it's that like your pain is my pain. And when something affects you very deeply, it affects me very deeply. And I feel that at a deep level with my good friends. But yeah, my friend calling me time her boyfriend broke up with her. And like, I felt it in my throat. And like,

I was just like, I'm so sorry. And like my voice cracked. And then I just like reeled it back in. Yeah, I'm just trying to make it about me. But when you're really upset about something, of course, it like gets me. And it's horrible for me. But I think that when somebody calls you and they're at a point of weakness that they're calling you for strength. Yes. Yes, exactly. Like, I just, and, you know, there's some things that are just so much, like a parent dying. You're just going to sit there.

You're going to cry together, you know, but one of my best friends, her dog died, and she called me. And, like, I felt all my trauma coming up from Dewey, too. And I was like, don't do it. Ashley, like, don't start crying. You know what I mean? I need to be strong for her. This is like a whole other episode. We'll do another one.

Okay. Well, that concludes our soft boy discussion. And we're in the car. We're talking shit. We still have some time left. We've been some funny emails on this episode. And we just have gotten some emails recently that I just have found so funny. And the subject lines are funny.

And we're each going to do one. So this one really got me. And I just thought we would unpack it here. You know, we're on the road. We're almost there. Yeah. So subject line, boys leaving boxers after a hookup. Is this a trend?

So she writes, hey, Rain and Ashley, recently I had a guy spend the night in my place. And the next day, he left without his boxers. I told my best friend about this. And she told me she had the same. situation where a guy also left his boxers at her place. My friend and I discuss this and we can understand accidentally leaving something like your wallet or jewelry because you can leave without realizing you're missing those things. However, if you're leaving without your boxers, you clearly notice you don't have them on since you're going on commando, especially because both of these guys

left in jeans. Okay. We're both generally confused as to why a guy would do this and since the situation happened to both of us is this a new trend. We would love to know if this has happened to other people and what the reason behind doing this is. I just know so many women are listening to this right now screaming like this happened. Like me too. It feels purposeful. I mean, we should have just crowdsourced some guys earlier because I don't really know the answer. I don't think this has happened to me.

Like, yeah, you're dating somebody and they leave stuff at your house. But, like, yes, you realize, to me, it feels like laziness. Like, they couldn't find them or they didn't feel like putting them on and they were cheap boxers and they have more at home. And they definitely knew, though, because you put on, if you're not, you know, I never wear underwear. And I don't wear underwear with jeans. But I feel like a guy's dick against his jeans, he realizes like, oh, I'm my boxers aren't on. I mean, the exact comparison is, like, I would never, ever go out into the world without a bra on.

I have giant table, not anymore. Not as this episode has come out, but I have giant tithies today, and I would never go out to the world. My giant tits out without a bra, and it's a normal thing to say to a person, I can't find my bra. It's like, listen, I'll leave a sock behind. I don't care. You can keep my sock. Yeah.

Billions more. A bra, I'm just like, I don't want to go out to the world without it. Like, that to me is like the boxers of, like, a hundred percent. That's the comparison, yes. And the jeans, your dick on jeans. dick on jeans. I know. It feels to me that it feels purposeful. Is this a soft boy thing? It feels purposeful. It feels like a reason to call you. Like it's so normal to stay no person. I can't find my boxers. Can you help me look? I mean, the leap behind is classic. Have you ever left behind on purpose?

Um, not on purpose. Because I don't know if I'm going to want to, you know, like, you don't know if you're going to get that back. Because guys can be the worst. You know what I mean? I had a guy once mail me earrings. I literally had a guy in Queens right across the river. Mail me. my rings. Oh my God. I was dating a guy once and he was like really funny and I said to him or he said something to me like I'm going to forget something at your place tomorrow. We had like a date plan or go back to my place. We were already hooking up and he goes, I forget it. I knew he really liked me and he was trying to express that like I'm going to keep leaving some of your place so I have excuse to keep hanging out with you and he goes, I'm going to conveniently forget something at your apartment

tomorrow and I responded yeah forget to pull out L.O.L. He was like Ashley, God damn it. It's like you You probably would. You just want to lock me down. I love this line. I don't know. This is funny that it's her and her friend are experiencing this. It feels like they knew what they were doing. I don't know.

I'm not a dude, but Raina has the perfect example. I know if I put something on without a bra off. A hundred percent. I mean, I would want to know what the follow-up was. Like, do they reach back out to you after to get the boxers? I mean, men are also lazy. Like, I can see a man just being like, like, you said bras are a lot more expensive than boxers. boxers I get a six-pack from a Haynes her way for, I don't know, I don't know if it costs $18.

Braves can be like $100. This one time, I was wearing underwear at the time. I went through a phase where I was wearing it, and then I went back to not wearing it. But I left a thong, a black lace thong at this guy's house. And it was not a guy. It was a drunken hookup. I didn't ever want to see him again. And I had a few black lace thongs at the time.

and he texted me, hey, you left your underwear here, and I wrote back, is it La Perla? And he was like, I don't know. I was like, can you check? And he made him to get a picture, and it was like some just Target brand. Like it wasn't fancy. I said, you can toss them.

Had they been La Perla, I probably would have been like, I'd go need to get those. I would drive across town for a Florida. I'm over to Virginia Highland and pick them up. 100%. I'm driving across town for that. Otherwise, put it in the trash.

Save it as a memento, smell it, do whatever you want. I think he wanted to see me again. So he was like, I'd love to get your underwear back to you. was like throw it out. That is the funniest text to send to a person. Like, you think you're like texting and you're like, what is my life? You're like, hey, you left your underwear here last night? Oh, my stranger.

He was like, who did I take home last night? What brand is it? He's like, what brand is it? He's like, what brand is it? He's like, what brand is there? He responds back, he's like, Mossimo. I'm like, toss them. Garbage.

Trash. That is so funny. I would send somebody a video, like, just chucking it down the incinerator. Lighting him on fire. I got it. Okay. Okay. Next email, can I masturbate to a co-worker's Insta-Pact? These subdeclines are incredible.

I don't even need to read the email. The answer is yes. Have you written before? Yes, she said, I'm a new listener. I've learned so much from you, too. I'm an older woman in the divorce process, so I'm decades behind and dating and sex. Get out there, girl. I am totally into a coworker who is way too young for me.

However, his Instagram posts are amazing. His thighs, she wrote, big thighs. Tongue out emoji. I am going to hell if I masturbate to these picks, I would never let him know. It's all fantasy and I know it. I need an outside opinion. I'm too embarrassed to tell my therapist. I hope I can come to your Dallas show.

Okay. Listen, I'll masturbate to anything. I don't think it's like weird. I don't think across the line. I think that like if completely unprompted, you told him that you masturbated to them. Different. Here's your permission.

Masturbate away. I love thighs. There's a guy that I went out with a couple times. We made out. His thighs. I would send you pictures of just his legs zoomed in. His legs are in. They're insane.

I love when I, I don't like, I don't like a guy that looks like a bodybuilder, but I do not like a guy that skips leg day. And if his thighs are kind of tight and his shorts, ooh, I actually love. I love a short, short. I love like a chubby on a big thigh. I guess if you think this is attractive. I'm going to have a follow question for you after this. I'm going to show you something. The guy that I'm at the pool.

I was like his body, he looked, his thighs looked nice. That guy was hot. Also, by the way, every guy that you work with has masturbated to the Instagram photos of every girl there. So, like, there's nothing. to feel weird about. And also, like, I think it's even hotter because it's like, it's a photo that's connected to this person who, like, you know and you can envision their voice a little bit. Yeah, I mean, like anything else, don't do anything that's going to be awkward for you. So, I mean, if you start masturbating to this co-workers' photos, you're like, I'm looking at him and

I'm coming, just know what's going to happen. And there's nothing wrong with that. But I'm saying, like, do you want to see him in the break room and get wet? You know, like, do you want to have, like a Pavlov's dog where you like start getting, you're wet when you see him. Okay, my jaw is like on the floor because this is like, I feel like, maybe I've told you this before, it's on the show, but like I, maybe you're exactly like me.

I'm exactly like this. If I masturbate to somebody, my brain goes, that person made you come. It is so true. So like I try to avoid masturbating to people that I'm never going to date and also people that are my ex-sail or people you'll see a lot. People like a co-liter.

Yes. Or somebody like you and I talk to every day. Like, my brain just goes like that person has made you come. And then you just keep. going, like, you envision all these scenarios that, like, could happen, like, especially because it's, like, your break room or, like, the place to, like, in the conference room, you're looking at them during a meeting. You're like, I, you made me come this morning, betting me over this table. You are so right. Yeah. My brain just keeps saying it to me. So let's just tell her,

here's what's going to happen. Probably. I don't know. Everybody's different. But I just, I had a sex dream about this guy who I'm not attracted to. He likes you. Like, it's, you're not interested. I mean, whatever. It's not. Who? Like, I knew. Did I know you to sex stream about him? I told you, we just talk about so much. Like, you just like, you forgot. It wasn't even a, it's weird. It wasn't even a sex. We didn't, he didn't penetrate me.

Like, we just hooked up and I did get off. And this is just, this was weeks ago. You know, like, if you have a fresh dream about somebody, then you would see him or you see them on social media. You're like, oh my gosh. Like, this has been weeks. And every time I see him on social media, I'm like, oh, it's weird. I'm just not attracted to him like that.

And so one of our good friends was telling me about a sexual experience with his girlfriend. And that night, I, not sexually at all. he was describing it to me and another friend of ours. Like, it was not coming on to me. And I had a sex room about him that night. It was so hot. And then I woke up and I felt so weird. Oh, I hated it.

So, I mean, I think proceed with caution, but do it. I mean, I like her style talking about the thighs. Like, I like that she told us what the asset is that she's interested in. Listen, there's plenty of things that I know are bad for me. I do them anyways. So if she comes to Dallas tonight, I'm going to show her the picture that guy and be like, here's some thighs for you. And he is a great kisser.

His legs. Oh, my God. Oh, his whole body, honestly. Yes, his whole body. He's really sexy. Yeah. I also would never masturbate to anybody that Ashley liked. Also for the same reason.

Wait, what? Oh. This guy, I'm like, we saw it. I also, like I said, I can't masturbate to exes. It's, like, very hard for me. And, like, if I had, like, a bad breakup with somebody, it's like my brain actually will not allow me to let them, like, pleasure me. Well, if, yeah, if they fucked you over and you have a bad image of them,

but I have exes that I'm fine with on good terms, or I don't hate them, not that we're buddies, but, like, I'll think about, like, a hot hookup and masturbate to it. Like, I'll conjure up that image. Yeah, I guess X is a broad term. If it's somebody I just used to sleep with, like, the waiter at the cheesecake factory, who I would blow and he would call me good girl and stroke my hair, I still masturbate to that. But an X is, like, a very recent ex that I was hurt by it. I can't do it.

Yeah, my brain will let me do it. I don't even if we ever answered this early at the top as we conclude this episode. Do you think you've ever dated a soft boy? No, I don't. It's not something that I relate to. I mean, you and I, we did sort of talk about it. I mean, I love somebody to skews a little bit feminine emotionally. The last boyfriend I had went to therapy a lot.

I told you, I think he's like emotionally brilliant, but it's genuine. So I don't ever feel like somebody's used that kind of thing to manipulate me. Yeah, I think I can kind of like smell it out. And I certainly like guys that do like give off a more masculine. I mean, I'll like, I like the guys that look masculine, I guess, you know? The look masculine. I don't know. I feel like if you're using like this wokeness to manipulate me or this softness, I don't

know, it's not attractive to me and I think I see through it quickly. Yeah. So no, I don't think I ever have. But, I mean, I think Gen Z's got to look out a little bit more. I think this is becoming more prevalent. It's an epidemic. Yes. Totally is.

Bella agrees. Thank you for consulting this on this episode, Bella. We'll have her on soon. We know you guys. We know you want it. Bella. Anything else you want to add? She just flipped her hair.

Well, she said, like, as we were kind of discussing this episode, she thinks someone that she dated was like, came to her in the moment. She was like, oh, my God, he was a soft boy. But, like, the anger she said was interesting. You know, we said, like, somebody would be, like, so, like, soft and kind. And then they'll, like, flip. Like, flip on you like that. Yeah.

We've opened her mind. We changed Bella's whole life. Yeah, we unlocked. All right, guys, well, thanks for listening to this episode from the car. Yeah, this was fun. Yeah, this is fun. We do this from it. We're, like, cat, Nat.

We just record from the car now because we have a bunch of kids. Kids were trying to escape. This made the time, can you imagine? Just get in the car. We're not moms anymore. This made the drive go really fast. And we'll catch you up next week on the breast reduction. Ashley's trip to California and everything.

And then we will be in California very soon. Yeah. Grab those tickets. Oh my gosh. Yes. There's only a few left. If there are even any left at this point. And you guys can see where we have shows coming up.

And if the tickets are left, there should be some in definitely Detroit, Indianapolis, Kansas City. St. Louis and Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh's going quick. But grab those tickets, you guys. We cannot wait to see you. Those are going to be really fun shows. And you can follow us on Instagram,

A Girls Gotta Eat Podcast. I am Ash Hess on Instagram. Raina is Raina Duck Greenberg. Girls underscore Got to Eat on Twitter and YouTube.com slash Girls Got to Eat. And we will see you next week from the studio. Have a good week, guys. Bye.