Girls Gotta Eat - BJ Tips, Anal, and Uncircumcised Guys feat. Shaun Galanos

Episode Date: February 17, 2025

If you couldn't tell by the title, we have a very wholesome episode for you with love coach Shaun Galanos! We're answering all those burning sex questions you may not feel comfortable asking in the group chat – what do you do with an uncircumcised penis, how do you get into anal, what should you call guys in bed, and how do you get your partner to initiate sex more? We're also talking about Shaun's background and his intriguing past as a sensual masseur, plus we're breaking down a recent sexual encounter Rayna had (and its logistics), and discussing why bald guys give better oral. Before Shaun joins us, we're debating some hot topics (what foods go in the fridge vs. on the counter, zip fly vs. button fly), and we break down the facts/risks when it comes to lip flips/filler and oral sex. Enjoy! Follow Shaun on instagram @thelovedrive, read his substack, and listen to his podcast We Can Do Better. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit girlsgottaeat.com for more. Thank you to our partners this week: Skims: Shop Skims best intimates at https://skims.com/gge and in stores. Addyi: Learn more at https://addyi.com. Liquid IV: Get 20% off your first order at https://liquidiv.com with code GGE. Helix: Get 27% off plus 2 free pillows at https://helixsleep.com/GGE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There's only two episodes we've ever not aired. That was one of them. Wow. And this one being the second one. Yeah, I just want to get you comfortable with the notion this isn't coming out, you know? This podcast is a Dear Media production. Hi guys. Hi guys.

Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Spicy episode. We have a horny ass episode today. I was like, was that the horniest interview we've done? For you, maybe. You weren't a little horny? Get out of here. I was tangentially horny.

Forny for you. You didn't feel like the topics are so spicy. Super horny. You did like anal and dicks and I mean, oh, my dirty talk. Yeah. Sexy and was like, new room massage? Newro massage. No, that's like when you lub your whole body up.

What is that? New room massage. What are you saying? Newroo massage. New room? Newro. Newro. Newro.

Like, and you are you? Yeah, it's a porn category of like massages where people like lub their whole body stuff and just like slat around. I like, we should sponsor. that with our lube. The porn category? They're like, we should do an event. We just, there's massage tables all over.

You had to just squirrtle over your body and see if you could survive. Remember the jello wrestling in old school? Oh, I thought you meant like in college. Oh, okay. I never did it. I don't think I did it. I was drunk a lot, though. Yeah.

She's just doing that privately. I just don't even people come over. Robin. I actually been secretly lying to you if I'm like Brana likes, you're always like, Graina likes Tubbs. I'm like so I can do jello wrestling. At the top. Yes, it's a really good episode, and we can't wait for you guys to hear it.

Yeah. All right. Well, we'll thank a couple of partners, and then we'll jump rate in. Thanks to Helix, get 27% off plus two free pillows at helix sleep.com slash gg and skims, shop skims, best intimates at skims.com and in stores. And thank you to Addie. Learn more at adi.com and Liquidiv. Get 20% off your first order at Liquidiv.com with code GGE.

What's up? I just, you said you wanted to debate something. with me. And then I keep thinking of other stuff I wanted to beat with you. You know what you and I talked about the other day, which is not like dating or sex related, but like, do you know your license plate number? Oh yeah. I've been wanting, I've been meaning to like ask people this for years because I don't know my license plate number and I realized this because I had to end, I had to input it into like a parking thing. Yeah. And I was doing it and I was like, when I asked this, is it going to be a resounding like, what do you mean you don't know your license plate number? But like,

I don't know what normal behavior is. Also, I didn't own a car until I'm in 30s. Right. Like I remember my like one from high school. You do? Well, I had like a black plate with like a low number. You know, there's a whole Delaware license plate culture. No. Well, one night we talked about a dinner, remember? And then I started sending you guys articles about it.

So in Delaware, it's like the number one is goes to the governor and that gets passed down governor to governor. And then there's, I don't know, maybe there's someone us two, three, whatever. But like low plates are like crazy high value. And then they're like black plates. Yeah. When it starts with a one. No, just like lower digits, like a four-digit license plate.

This might be other states too, but not every state has like license plate culture. Like I had like a black plate in high school. I was like, I'm an icon. Did you request it? It was in the family. It was passed down from generation to generation. It's still in the family. It's like on my dad's car now.

And he's going to give it to your nephews. Maybe. When they get the Xtera. Can you imagine? But you can get, I don't think that exists in Pennsylvania or in California a four-digit license plate number? Like, aren't they seven or eight? That's what I'm saying.

So it's rare. So, I mean, you can Google this. I mean, again, there might be other states. I don't think that we're that special. I do. I do think Delaware is very special. But people will auction them off and stuff. I get it, though.

Like, a special license plate. Yeah. And you guys have one in the family. It's a family heirloom. Okay, so Delaware's license plate culture centers around low number plates, which are highly sought after and can be worth thousands of dollars. The plates are considered a simple, prestige and can be passed down through generations. Literally, we have one in my family. I mean,

so the first three numbers are reserved for the governor, lieutenant governor, and secretary of state. The remaining numbers are assigned to vehicle owners in perpetuity. Vehicle owners can transfer their plates to others. So they're super scarce, valuable. They indicate political clout. That's my family. I'm just kidding. You know we're like low-key Kennedys. Well, your brother is like the mayor of Dewey Beach. They can be purchased at auction when they become available to the public. They can be inherited as heirlooms. Delaware is the only state that allows private manufacture of plates for legal registration purposes. Delaware is the only plate to keep porcelain plates in the modern era. We don't have porcelain guys. I don't know. Delaware is the only state with non-standard

size plates in current use. But like you can order like a special plate that says like that bish. Oh, like a vanity plate. You can order a vanity plate that has four numbers. So this doesn't count as a family heirloom if you've ordered it. You didn't just get handed it. You know what I mean? No, the numbers are done. Like you can't just be like I want like five, four, six, seven. Like, that's someone's out there. It's worth thousands of dollars. It's probably been passed down generations.

Yeah, you could order one that it says, like, I'm that bitch or whatever. Like, I don't know. It's like, I'm that. It's probably taken. BISH. Somebody has that, right? So, I mean, I pretty much know mine. I can, like, visualize it.

It's like, nine, you, W. I don't know. But I guess, like, gone to my head, I don't think I could tell you it. I couldn't tell you a single number or letter. Oh. And I entered it into a machine. other day. I don't, no clue. I was sitting there like, why would I need this information literally ever? But like, I'm in my car all day every day. I walk up to, like, how have I not, through

osmosis, digested this information? But yeah, but then, I mean, do you know my phone number? I know the first six digits. And I learned this the other day because I was outside of the gate with Melanie and I realized I forgot my phone and I needed to get in touch with you. And so Melanie had to text you. Yeah. But I couldn't even tell you what some of the digits are in the last four. Do you know mine? No. None of them? None of the numbers.

The first three. Okay. Maybe the first six. Or the second three, six, two six. There is not a six in the whole thing. You know what I always wanted? I would have died for was a two-one-two number. In New York, they're so elite.

And I didn't think you could even get them anymore, but you can buy one. You heard it here first. Two-12, you can buy them now. And Delaware, the whole state is one area code. It's 302. 302 for life. Okay, so what I wanted to discuss with you is I got a butter dish this morning. What's up?

Okay, you finish. So I feel like there's two types of people who keep their butter in the fridge and keep their butter out room temp. You did something this morning? My butter dish arrived. Oh, yeah. So. I was like, well, I was ever slaving away over the outlet covers. So this morning.

This morning when I was churning my own butter. No, I grew up in like a room tent butter household. So we, my mom had, do you remember Longa Burger? No. It was like these baskets. Before my mom started weaving her own baskets, she would get these like Longerburger baskets. It was probably an MLM. It was probably, but she would have parties and stuff.

And we had like a lot of the dishes and bowls and stuff too. We had a lot of the kitchenware. And it was this like Longa Burger butter dish. But we had room tent butter. which is always, it's ready to go, it's ready to spread. Do you flip it over in the water? What water? But you just have like butter sitting out on a plate?

It's in a butter dish. But it's covered. It's a cover. But like regular butter dish is you put it into this little thing and then you flip it over upside down and that it's supposed to like seal it. No idea what you're talking about. It's like wood, the butter sits on it.

Last top. The little cloche on the top. Yeah. Yes. So now I'm just always ready to butter something. How often do you butter? everything. Well, I eat a lot of toast. And so I just, like, I was wondering, I feel like people think that's crazy. People are like, no, butter stays in the fridge. Listen, people have been

doing it for years. And so I know it is like, it's fine. I guess you can do it. I'm not a doctor or a scientist. Maybe I'll get a cabinet position. I'm like, I have absolutely no qualifications. You should hire me. But I know that people do it and it does improve the consistency is incredible. It's just my mind goes like dairy refrigerator. So yes. Then I looked at it out. And I just, I don't think you're supposed to keep like a stick of butter out for like weeks at a time or in a really warm climate, you know, but like it's always cold in my house. We live in California. It's always cold here.

Like, and I'm just, I like having butter at the ready. It's a great consistency. I mean, nothing makes me more sad when I'm trying to butter something. Thank you. Thank you. What are you supposed to do? What am I supposed to do? And you can't microwave it because it just turns the liquid.

I'm not trying to fuck with that consistency either. Exactly. Exactly. Nothing is better than room to have butter. I mean, I think there's a few things that I, I insist on being room temp that people would probably put in the fridge and nothing bad has happened to me yet. Like what?

Cake. You're not supposed to refrigerate cake. No, I'm with you. Okay. I'm with you on. Okay. Cake sits out. Pastries in general, desserts, pie.

I don't. Yes. Out of the fridge. Exactly. Exactly. Okay. So anyway, just mainly cake and butter. Okay.

What about a vegetable? Okay. What about an onion? I do think that onions, garlic. I think all vegetables can be left. out. Yeah. You just have to eat them quickly. But some vegetables, so like avocados will ripen better if they're left out. Onions and garlic can be left out for all the live long day. Tomatoes, don't put a tomato in the fridge, you guys. Here's something I kind of like, not a lot of people are doing this.

Sometimes, sometimes I'll put a banana in the fridge. Bananas are a countertop item for me. They're usually countertop, but if they start to get a little brown, I throw them in the fridge, and I weirdly like a cold banana. I like a brown banana. So, no, I'm lying. I'm lying. I don't. I like a green banana. I like them hard and raw. That's how I like them. That's so funny. I was like, ew. Like if you. Yeah, that's disgusting. If you like a sour banana. You like a green of sour green. sour ass banana. Was I with you the other day? I was with somebody in there like, this is inedible. And I was like, that is the perfect banana. You like it rock hard.

If it can fuck you, that's how I want to eat it. Guys, let us know in the comments. If you are room tent butter. cold butter or green or brown banana. I think that all produce can be left out. Yeah. Right? Yeah, I think so. I don't know that there's like, you have to, okay, let me ask you.

I have a couple more of these and we're going to pivot to clothing. The fact that we said this is going to be a horny episode. And they're like, so anyway, do you guys leave your vegetables out? All right, let me hit you with this next one. Condiments, which go in the cabinet, which go in the fridge. Because I refrigerate soy sauce, which I don't think most people do. I think most people have soy sauce is a cabinet item. Soy sauce, the cabinet.

I guess I don't care. I've seen like heavy debates about this on the internet. Like I forget who posted a clip of like mustard in the fridge. And it was a couple. I wish I could remember. And he was like, no, I keep the mustard doesn't need to be refrigerated. And she was like, you're a psycho. Mustard goes in the fridge.

To me my brain goes, you've opened this bottle, put it in the fridge. Like the only thing I don't refrigerate is like oil, vinegar. Yeah. Like stuff that you also want at room temp. Like, I want those things cold. Mustard ketchup. But, like, okay. How about when there's, like, a big display of Parmesan cheese at the grocery store, it hasn't been sealed.

It's a chunk that they wrapped in some saran wrap and put a price on it. Why does that get to sit out? So cheese is very specific because of the way that it's aged. So cheese, it's just, it's supposed to be aged. And so it sits out. Mold is, like, very normal to cheese. Blue cheese is cheese that's had mold injected into it. But no one has their blue cheese and they,

cabinet. But also that cheese is usually in a refrigerator section. It's not just sitting out warm, but cheese specifically, Parmesan cheese specifically, it can just sit out. It gets better with age. You get those crunchies. Yeah. But like I don't think, I don't think there's a shelf life, right? So you could leave it out for two days, three days. Okay. And then you guys start fucking with that refrigerator again. Okay. Well, you guys are welcome. But yeah, I'm really excited by my butter dish. We ordered an air fire, hybrid toaster. Okay. Oven. I'm excited to see what you think about the air fryer and if you ever use it. It's one of those things. It's so gigantic. I thought we had like a compact one. It does flip up. So it's a space saver.

But I'm like, this is so huge. I mean, it's enormous. I think this is why people don't get them. They're like, I don't have the counter space for that. Imagine in New York City. Yeah. Air fryer. Do you remember breadmakers had like such a moment? Oh my God. Breadmakers, you're like, it's fun for two days and you're like, I don't really need a breadmaker. But like airfare, some people use them every day. Yeah. People are into them. Okay. I have the next topic for you to do this and we can choose some like other stuff. But, okay, so I was looking at your pants because we were both wearing these, like, cute jeans. Yeah. And you were like, oh.

Huh? You don't know this. Do you know that reference? Of course it is the Kardashians. I saw it this morning. That episode? No, I saw that just a meme of it. Someone post it.

Yes. Okay. Yeah. It's a deep cut. But like one time I said your cute jeans to someone and they like didn't know. And I was like, forget it. You're not even going to just forget it. It's Kendall and Chris talking.

And she was like, your cute. Your jeans are so cute. And she's like, your cute jeans. Yeah. I think so. Okay, I want to talk about the fly on jeans. Okay. More than half of my jeans have a button fly and I do not understand this. Who looked at a pair of jeans and it was like, you know what we should do is make this harder to put on and get off? I hate it.

There has to be a reason for it, right? It's, I'm assuming it's harder to install than a zipper because you've got to do like five of them. It's probably more expensive a little bit more, installing five snaps than one zipper. And it certainly doesn't make it an easier thing to use. No, I think my jeans that have buttons are more Fupa jeans. They're not smooth. Yes. Like, I mean, I'm not even saying it's because of the buttons, but for whatever reason, like, every pair of jeans that I feel like gives that more Fupa vibe has a button fly. Yes.

You're going to break a nail. It's a crime. But, like, why are we doing this? Who's like, you know, what we should do is take pants that are already super uncomfortable. Yeah. To sit in, to do anything. And let's make it worse. Right.

And that first button at the bottom, I mean, I have the longest fingernails. It takes me an hour to get into that. Right. And if you're trying to squeeze into them, like, that is an embarrassing moment. Like, if you're really squeezing into some, like, tight jeans, which I love to do it. You know what I mean? They stretch out a little during the day. Like, that feels nice to zip up.

Like, when you're trying to pull jeans over your stomach and you have to button them, you better hope no one else is in the room. It's certainly not a time saver. Yeah. And it's embarrassing to do it. I know. I'm with you. I was wondering.

I was wondering if other people were like, no, I love it. button fly. It just, it really scoops me up and just like seals everything in there. I'm not into it. I hate it. Yeah. It's my new campaign. Okay. So we got a question that we wanted to talk about. And we were like, we're not going to talk about this with Sean, but we asked our listeners different questions. And this one came up and I was so excited to talk about it. It was about tabu sex questions. Yes. Tabu sex questions. Yes. Tabu sex questions. Yes. So we got the question, will getting a lip flip affect your blowjob skills? So let's explain what a lip flip is. Yes. I have a lip flip. I have had lip flips consistently.

for a year and a half maybe. And it is just a little bit of Botox or Daxify. I get Daxify right at the top of your lip. And it makes your lip flip up a little bit. So people get it as a alternative or a gateway into lip filler. I don't have any lip filler. But my top lip disappears a little bit when I smile. I felt like I have a little bit of a gummy or smile.

And I don't want to get lip filler. So that's my alternative. So it wears off fairly quickly because you use your mouth. all the time. You're talking, you're laughing. Eating. Eating, yes. And so, again, they just do like six units total. I think it's like three and three. And it just kind of, I mean, makes your lip not curl up as much and just kind of makes it appear to be fuller. So this girl, and I think it's like a pretty normal question, like if you're going to paralyze the top of your lip, does it make it hard to suck a dick?

So I'd love to just even talk about what happens in general. Like, you shouldn't really have complications when you get a good one. You know, typically, like, you shouldn't, it shouldn't affect your life that much. But you'll notice as it starts to set in, if you, again, Daxify starts working a little bit sooner than Botox, but whatever you get done, once it kind of starts to settle in, when you, like, spit something out, like you're, when you're brushing your teeth, it feels weird. Like, it feels like you don't have as much control of your lip. Sucking on a straw is a little bit more difficult. Like, you do have, I guess, like, less mobility. But then it, settles in and it's fine, but you do notice that a little bit. But some people have complications

with it. I guess everybody's different, but I've seen even things on TikTok where this girl was like, I can't drink out of a straw anymore. And I drink ice coffee every day. And this is, you know, affecting my life. And some people in the comments were like, you didn't get a good one. But everybody's different. But it really shouldn't affect your dick sucking too much. You shouldn't be doing so, so much with that top lip. And it's, you know, a dick is bigger than a straw. Like when you're sucking a straw, you're like pursing your lips. That's what I think. I thought straws are so usually so much different size than a penis. Yeah.

So like you're using more facial muscles to suck a dick. Yeah. You're just like the, it's more of my jaw. It's, and like the sides of my cheeks when I'm sucking a dick than like the top of my mouth working. Whereas a straw, you got to get really good in there. You're like bearing down. Yeah. And like even when you spit that water out when you're brushing your teeth or your toothpaste out, you're like,

like that spitting motion. Like you have a wider open mouth when you're sucking a dick. But then I got in this whole about lip filler and sucking dick. Okay. They do say you should wait a little bit after getting lip filler to suck dick. What's a little bit? Like, because when you get a lip filler, I've never had it. It's like, it's the one thing on my body that's perfect is my lips.

You swell up a lot. Most people like balloon up and I'm assuming it's not going to be pleasant for you. It hurts. So don't Google lip filler blowjob because you'll just get porn hub coming up. So I found this article. I don't know if I can vouch for it, but it just says, well, BJ's ruin my lip filler injections. And it says that if you really suck a lot of dick, it could deflate them a little bit. What?

But why would it deflate them? I would be worried it would displace the filler. You know, some people have that let ridge at the top of their lips, and you can tell that it's filler because it doesn't actually go to the lip line. So it says your lips need a little bit of time to properly heal and allow the filler to settle in. They say wait three to five days post-injection before you suck dick post-lip filler. Wow. I mean, I think that's fine. I would worry about it displacing the filler.

Right. I just, I would want it to settle where, I mean, I have plenty of friends that get lip filler and they suck dick all the time. I've never heard this complaint. But it's just like anything, you've got to get used to it. You got to be a little careful. People always, my nails are pretty long. And people are always like, what's it like typing with that?

And I'm just like, it has never crossed my mind in 20 years what it's like to type with fake nails. I just, that's just how I'm living. Yeah. So lip flip really shouldn't affect your dick sucking too much unless you're with a guy who was the dick the size of a straw. Uh-huh. And then in which case, yes.

And then which case it could, which you're probably not putting on your mouth anyway. I don't know. Doing God's work. And if you are, you're really doing the Lord's work. But yeah, I mean, it changes a little. I just, I love it so much. And I recommend it if you feel like you have a little thinner, a top lip and you don't want to get lip filler.

But it is so painful. I mean, I watch you do it. And it's hard to say. It's so quick. that it's like over, but it is the most painful place I've ever gotten that type of injection. I mean, you know me. I numb up like crazy. I've taken laughing gas.

I don't get that done, but just to get both. Any kind of injectables. Filler, like, I mean, you have left the doctor's office of me. It doesn't matter how great the doctors. And you and are lucky to, like, have great doctors in our lives. But, like, I get so upset and worked up. I get like, it starts like panic. So I need like laughing gas, everything.

And then lip filler, again, I've never gotten it. I can't speak on it. I do hear it's painful. and then a friend of ours had to get hers dissolved, and she said it was the most painful thing she's ever experienced in our life. Which is so interesting because they like, they always numb you. I mean, laughing gas is rare. I don't think that like most doctors are passing out laughing gas.

But most people numb you and then it's still so bad. You know it sounds so bad to me, though? Have you listened to any interviews with Pete Davidson talking about taking his tattoos off? No. You know he's like almost through taking his tattoos off? Like all of them? All of them. No.

And he said that like there's like a process, which, yes, tattoo removal in general. I heard it's the most painful. I mean, I've watched it done. The smell is so nauseating. It looks unbearable and you got to do it. Like, I don't know. Everybody's skin's different and black tattoos can be like harder.

Like, I don't quote six times you got to do it. They're burning your flesh off. Like they're extracting like permanent ink from your body. I mean, it's got to be a horror scene. Yes. And he was tattooed. I mean, up to his fucking eyeballs. I didn't really see he was getting them all removed.

Yes. And he was. He just likes the pain at that point. He just Google it you guys. It's a recent appearance on some talk show at night. But yeah, he said you go through this process. You got to do it. He said like 10 more times.

I just, every time I get a tattoo, I'm like, I really hope I want this. There's a couple that I would love to take off. I have a crown on my thigh, which I would love to take off. And I edited it out of photos too. It's so easy to edit. Yeah. It's an easy edit. But it's the smell and the sound and the pain or two.

I'm a fucking pussy about pain. Well, that's a thing. I mean, like I understand. People get tattoos. they want to take it off. And I think some people think, like, I'll just get it removed. It's, like, not that easy. No, absolutely not.

It's not like an earring. You just take it out. It closes up. Yeah. Or not, like, you know, laser hair removal, different vibes. Well, we're about to get it. We're on our journey, you guys. Stay tuned.

I'm excited. Okay. And then there's one thing I want to talk to you about before we get into the episode. How is wedding planning going? Wedding planning is going really great. We are down to two venues. Okay. We know the date.

It's the date I wanted. Okay. And we are deciding. But I really wanted to talk about my wedding plan. because I'm just having the best experience with her. And her name's Jacqueline, and she is the owner of the wedding plan and company. And that is the wedding plan and co.com. And I had met her through a friend, through our friend Taylor.

This was, I think, 2021. And we went to this party. You were in L.A. that day and you left. Yeah, I had been in L.A. for two weeks. It was time to go home. Yeah. And we ended up going to this party. And it was kind of, you know, like things were just starting to get back to normal post-COVID.

And this woman was there. And I just loved her vibe and we hung out with her for the rest of the day. And Taylor was like, she's like this amazing wedding planner and she does weddings like all over, you know, East Coast, West Coast, wherever. And I just always had her in mind. And we've been following each other and she saw that I got engaged and we just got on a call. And I was like, she's the one. Like I want you everything she said.

You know, you see how people like run their business and they like get you. I mean, this is something you need somebody to get you, get your vibe. This is how I feel about our marketing company for vibes. And we've gone through so many people. Yeah. You just want to like be on the phone with somebody and you're just like, they get it. get it. Yeah, I even said, I was like, she reminds me of Ashley Pallard, who, like, runs the marketing company that we use. And just like the way she structures her business, too, in, like, an honest

way. And I think a lot of people get taken advantage of and planning weddings because everything's like, you know, obviously the prices are so inflated and things like that. And so she really got my vibe. And she's been on it. And I've just loved to working with her. And then we're going to have her on the podcast. So closer to the wedding down the road, she'll come on. We'll ask her all the questions. and I'm so excited. We'll see what you guys want to know. We've never had a wedding planner on. We also haven't had a wedding episode a long time. I'm really excited. Yeah. It'll be great. So she is actually doing my wedding herself, which I feel so blessed. But in the company, there are like 15 wedding planners and assistants. And I trust that they're all wonderful.

The teams are based in New York, New Jersey and also L.A., but they do weddings all over, of course. I mean, if you guys are looking for a wedding planner, the wedding plan and company, I just wanted to plug them because I'm having like such an incredible experience. And, you know, I went into it. Like, I know what I want, but I don't know even the name of one like venue, you know, especially here in L.A. And she's shot back all these options. And she even presented ones. And she was like, listen, hear me out. And like kind of cool out of the box type thing.

And I've just been so thrilled. And so, you know, she's wonderful. They're wonderful. Check them out. I mean, it's just there's so many ideas that not you, you specifically, but you plural, like have and like raw spaces sound really cool. But you don't think about like how much money it is to like bust in all the equipment and staff.

And well, my mom picked everything. But yeah, I planned a wedding. But that was like my dream. Like, we'll just get this raw space. How cool is it? It's like, are you ready to hire 10 different vendors? Right. Like, I like what you're looking at because they just, it's turnkey.

They do weddings every single weekend. They're great at it. That's what they specialize in. Their kitchen specializes in it, you know? And it was very funny. Like, so I had a call with her. And again, I've met her. And I decided I wanted to work with her.

We wanted to work with her. And then we had a Zoom with me and her and my fiance. And like, I've never been on like a Zoom with him. That is funny. Like this is before he moved here. It was like a business type energy. Like I've never sent him a Zoom link. That's so funny.

It's like, it's really funny. And like he came into the Zoom and like introduced himself. I was like, you're being so hot. Like I kind of saw him in like almost a work environment. Yes. Where he introduced himself on a Zoom. And I was like, babe, you stop. You're turning me on.

That's so funny. The first time you see your partner on a Zoom. It's been like years. I sort of like that the first time you email somebody. Like, oh my God. The first time I emailed him, I was like, what's your email address? It's so weird. It's so weird when it comes up.

And like when you were dating somebody, it's all sexy. And then you're like, what's your email address? I'll send it to you. I've dated people probably for six months before I emailed them something. Yeah. So it was just, it was cute to see him on the Zoom with her. And he and I are just very aligned. And she's been along on the journey, but she's partially on the.

East Coaster. She hasn't been with us every tour, but she sets me up. And then we voice note her after, just like stream of consciousness. Here's exactly what we're thinking. And, you know, she's really working it out. And so I'm so thrilled to like have her on and like really get into it with her when we eventually do. All right. Well, stay tuned, you guys.

Going well. Yeah. And I was like, you don't have to worry about an officiant. Like when I went through the menu of services, I'm like, we don't need officiant. Video. photo. DJ music. Leave that to me. Ashley's going to do it. Tessa will advance the wedding.

I mean, Tessa does our shows. Yeah. Okay. Tessa, you'll DJ. You'll DJ the whole event. Can you imagine? Okay. Well, yeah.

We have a great episode for you guys. We're really excited. We're just going to quickly thank some partners and then get ready to get horny. Okay. This show is sponsored by Liquid Ivy. Perfect segue because when I eventually do any sort of welcome gifts for the guest of my wedding, those will be in the welcome. bags. I said this before, but when I had my 40th birthday and I made everyone little welcome bags,

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It takes two seconds. And every day I get in bed and I cannot believe how comfy my mattress is. I just roll around on that thing. Like, oh, I'm so lucky. Nothing is more important to me than sleep. I need eight hours. If I don't get it, the whole day is shot. And I just love sleeping on my helix mattress.

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The pillows. Can't get enough of them. I mean, again, I said this before. When I had evacuated, I was like sleeping at different people's houses. I brought my pillow with me. It really matters. It matters. If I can't have my mattress here with me, then at least I have my Helix pillow. And they give you tons of options. So you'll just take that quiz, knock it out. They will prescribe you a mattress that I know that you're going to love. And we have a deal for you guys. GILICSleep.com slash Gigi. Get 27% off sitewide.

and two free dream pillows with mattress purchase and free bedding bundle, which is two dream pillows, a sheet set and a mattress protector with any lux or elite mattress order. I have the lux. Get 27% off plus two free pillows at helixleep.com slash gg. And you guys are just going to love it. Check it out. Helixleep.com slash gg. Okay. All right. All right, guys. We are very excited for our guest today. He is a speaker and love coach helping people have a better, more loving relationship with themselves and others. He is the host of The We Can Do Better podcast. It is Instagram. The Love Drive has hundreds of thousands of followers where he gives raw sex and dating advice.

He offers retreats and a weekly substack. Please welcome to the show, Sean Gallinos. Wow. And Roger. And my dog, Roger. This is so special. It's our first time with two dogs. This is like the happiest I feel like I've ever been recording with two dogs.

Not because your tour came out today. No, it's the dogs. We've never allowed anybody to bring a dog on top of his wolves. This is very special. And they're both just like chilling. I'm also honored to be here after the multiple cancellations that I've done. Let's talk about it. Yeah.

You're lucky you're here. I feel lucky that I'm here. You canceled twice. I canceled twice. Once was the Zoom thing. No, you were going to come here and I can't confirm with you and you're like, I've been meaning to cancel. Thank you for reaching out. That is brutal.

Imagine doing that for a date. I'm like, hey, just confirming our date tonight. He's like, oh, I was going to cancel them. I've been meeting to cancel. Yeah. And I have to tell you, so we found you through our videographer. loves you. I didn't really like sure content. I was like, I fucking hate this guy canceled on me. God damn it. And I was, and then I saw you moved here. And so we invited you back.

Well, here's the thing. I was going to come visit in L.A. And then that trip got canceled, but I forgot to cancel. And then you reached out. And so my bad, my bad. But you were in the middle of a move. Not the first time he canceled. Not the first time. Yeah. Well, I was thinking of moving to L.A. So I was doing like an introductory tour of L.A. You were too busy with the thinking. Yeah, well, I did. Yeah.

But then I didn't end up coming anyways. Then I canceled last week. I canceled last week. I know. Again. Oh, she heard about it. I almost,

okay, I almost made up an excuse. Yeah. Like, oh, I have to be out of town or like, unexpected. I was like,

no, dude, just be honest. Yeah. You're going skiing. You canceled for mental health. Yeah, it was mental health. Yeah, to go skiing.

Oh. It was some bullshit man response. First of all, I'm walking, I'm walking through the farmer's market. I see a text come in from Sean. It fills my whole phone screen. And I'm like, what is this about to be?

And it was like, my mental health. Okay. To be fair, to be fair, L.A. is on fire. Right? It was on fire. The inauguration has been a total freaking nightmare. January was like nobody was okay. I was not okay last week.

I did go skiing and I'm much better now. But even during the ski trip, I'm like, what is happening to our world? No, can you imagine, like, the state of the world messes up your ski trip? Rude. Rude. During a fucking snowstorm? Powder days? Okay, and I'm...

I can't even enjoy skiing. I'm freaking out. Anyways, I'm really excited to be here. We're excited to have you. And also, you said to me that you went to Santa Barbara, and I was like, oh, he goes to Santa Barbara. And you're like, and I slept in an RV. And I was like, how do I keep finding these people that live in their cars?

I know. You're not the first one. My friend's RV. You don't even own it. He lives in a trailer park in Santa Barbara. Uh-huh. You wouldn't be my first guy who lived in his car. unfortunately.

I do have a tent on the top of my truck. Great. Yeah. That's a big truck guy. All right, guys. Anyway, Sean's here. Roger's here. Yeah, we're going to talk about love and sex and stuff.

Can we just talk about Roger a little bit? We can, yeah. So you've had him 12 years. 12 years. And he is blind now. He's been blind half his life. But you wouldn't even guess it. I don't know.

I guess I haven't been around a fully blind dog. Like, he's really with it. I don't baby him. I've never, I've just like taken him everywhere. When he first started going blind, the vet was like don't move you know furniture around make sure you keep his life stable and I was like oh we're actually going on a road trip for a year uh-huh and the vet was like well he'll be fine he's a dog

he's a dog he's a dog do dogs have seen eye dogs I'm his seeing eye dog Sean's the dog that's me I'm the dog yeah I'm the service animal I'm just laughing thinking about like getting a seen eye dog for your blind dog it'd be so cute but that's me I have to make sure he doesn't get hit by a car and I like show him where things are and he falls downstairs I know It's really. They're really a vibe. Okay. Where did you go on your year long trip?

I was driving around the United States. Okay. Yeah. How long do you stay in each place? Anywhere from like a day to a week or something, just sleeping in the truck? Yeah. I know. Rain is kink.

It really is. I hate it. Okay. So tell us a little bit about. Wait, does that turn you on? What's the story? Our video guy lives in his van. Okay.

But that's like a thing now since COVID. It's a Mercedes spritter van. It's a nice van. It's a brand. It's a van life. It's a thing now. Yeah, it's fan life. I get served so much this content on Instagram.

Are we going to lose our listeners here or, like, are they in for all this? Oh, people, I talk about him constantly. Okay. But we're over that. Okay. That's in a past life. That was 2024. So I love your Instagram, Ashley and I were looking at it.

People ask you some like pretty crazy questions. And the way you answer them is, it's great. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. People really, those are the most, the highest performing videos. Right. People love it. And so it's like, I pander a little bit to that because I know that it's good.

Well, it was the most responses we got. We said, like, hit us with your most, quote, unquote, taboo, sex questions that you might be embarrassed to ask, and it was like an onslaught. So, I mean, this is why we do what we do. I mean, you want to talk about this stuff, normalize it and everything. It's fun, too. Yeah. And it's fun to see the buckets that come in, because I think that we've talked about the same stuff a lot over the years. Like, it just keeps coming up and people still have a thirst for like, but really, how do I do anal?

Yeah. You know? Yeah. Well, really, what do you do with an uncircumcised penis? So when I first, I went to your... We could talk about that. So I went to your Instagram. Where did you show and tell?

That was one of the first videos they came up. And it's just funny because it's like you just, you'll figure it out. I don't know. It's not a thing. Well, it's interesting. I just had sex with someone recently and she had never experienced an uncircumcised penis before. And I had to like kind of walk her through it a little bit.

Like pulling it back. Pulling it back. Like how does it work? Don't pull it back too far. Like we don't usually have to pull it back. Like when it gets erect, it comes out. Sometimes. Sometimes no.

Oh. depending on how much foreskin you have. Oh. You know there's even a scale of like length of foreskin. It's called the C scale or something. It goes from C1 to C9. The more four skin you have, the higher the number. What number are you?

I think I'm like a C6. Does yours go back automatically? No, not necessarily. Okay. Yeah. Well, so when we watch naked attraction, some of those foreskins were like an unrolled turtleneck just hanging off. And if it's erect, it's still going to have a little,

it's going to have a little tip there, like a little, yeah, anteater situation. Okay. Yeah. In my experience, I haven't had to pull back. It just would pull back on its own. Yeah. Yeah.

And you don't even, I'm like, oh, it's just a regular dick. Well, a regular dick would be sort of the uncircumcised one. Sorry, it just looks like an circumcised dick. But also when you're giving head, sometimes you can manipulate the foreskin in a way that it would go back over the glands, right? You pull it back up and down, up and that's sort of like a wizard's sleep. It's like the jello thing. That thing. The sea cucumber.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Those things are incredible. But we'll circle back and we'll talk a little bit more about you. We started kind of hot. But I just don't want any women to be intimidated or scared. It's just you're going to be fine. You're going to be fine.

Yeah. And hey, more dick. A little more dick. A little more dick. I've heard from women that they actually prefer the, they can feel the difference during penetration. Remember that one night? Were you there that night? We were at Jackie's studio, that really cool studio.

We had a dinner, all those girls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we run around the table and we just started talking about the best sex you've ever had with a bunch of women. And everyone had like an uncircumcised guy. That was like their top. So I don't know if there's a correlation there. I feel like I'm outside the culture. I don't really come across these very often. Well, it depends. I mean, van guys usually are going to be uncircumcised. No. Oh, really? Well, harder to keep it clean in a van. For sure. He always smelled fine. But like, I don't come across it a lot. Like when you're in Europe, you come across. It's like the European dicks I've had. Yeah. And like honestly, everything outside of America, it's not so common to be circumcised in the rest of the world.

It's very American. Yeah, I'm sure. And Jewish. But like Jewish people are circumcised. But otherwise Americans, and that's kind of it. Yeah, pretty much. I've seen even other podcasts talk about it. Like it's, whoa.

And it's just like, ladies, nothing to be scared. You've got a little more dick to work with. It's like a fun little. Party trick. Yeah. Well, also when masturbating, you don't need lube. It is the lube. It has its own.

Wait, really? Yeah. Yeah, because you just pull the skin up and down as sort of masturbation. The majority of the world deals with this. We just don't in America. So it is like people have figured this out. Yeah, and you do have to keep it clean. It does require extra cleaning, yeah, for sure.

Which, you know, hopefully you do. They do, whoever does. Well, you cannot, you know. Some people don't. Some people don't. No, some people really don't. So our friend's boyfriend is a doctor and he was at my house this morning. And I was talking to him about, he was asking me who we were interviewing.

I was like telling him about your clip. Uncumcised expert, Sean Gallinose. I describe me to other people. Uncut coach. Yes, he was like, I've seen some pretty bad infections. Oh, God. So I didn't know if you knew about this, and I guess this is going to be a big reveal,

but I do talk about this in my stand-up a bit, and I am kicking off my tour on National Forskin Day. Oh, good. Did you know? There's National Forskinned Day. I'm not surprised there's National Everything Day now. It's Four-four. No.

4-4-25. It's a special force-conday is 4-4. And that's all I'm going to say, because come see me, yeah, buy tickets. Yeah, come see it live, exactly. But anyway, so happy early National Forest Gendai to you. And to you as well. Thank you as well. Yeah.

No one wished it to me. No, to both of you as when I meant. Not to you. I'm not really in the culture of that much. And you're Jewish brothers and sisters. They do not get to celebrate. No, definitely not. No.

Okay. Jews don't have that. They don't. Well, you know about Jack? Jews against circumcision. That was like an activist group. It's a group. Yeah, an activist group.

I mean, I think whatever you want. I understand that some people see it is like mutilation and not letting somebody decide what they're going to do with their own body. Yeah. You can do whatever you want. I mean, I'm sure it goes both ways. I'm sure there are adults that look back and would be like, I wish mom and dad did do it. Right? Did?

Yeah. Like circumcised me? Yeah. No. Because they could just do it then. Well, but then I don't know. Like, remember the Sex and the City episode? Isn't it so painful as an adult?

Yeah. It's not something you want to go into lightly. Yes. But also, I think there are more people that regret getting circumcised than don't. Then don't. Okay. I can't speak on it. I'm just saying like there's got to be two camps of like, do you think there's men out there that

wish they were circumcised and then they wish their parents just did it back then? I just don't see why you would. Unless you had like some sort of condition, some sort of like medical issue, or if there was like famosis, which is like a too tight foreskin where the glands doesn't, doesn't like come out. It's like a spanks. It's like a spank for the for the glands. Yeah. And it can get kind of grody in there for sure. Oh, okay.

See, I am like an OBGYN. Right. Dr. Sean. I actually went to a circumcision recently, but you didn't expect that. For an adult one? I'd love to like a. I ever got circumcised.

Get that activist group in here because they're like, that should not be happening. Yeah, I was dating somebody and I was like, I insist you do it. No, I'm just kidding. My nephew was circumcised recently. You went to a bris.

I went to a bris. How was it? I mean, I was in London and my brother's like, can you get over here? We're going to do a bris. And I was like, now, like in the kitchen right now, I could skip this.

And he's like, no, come on you take pictures. And I was like, I fucking hate you. So me and him and his wife and the baby. And the rabbi comes, but he's a doctor. And he stayed with us for like three hours. and it was like really nice. He made sure that like the baby was okay,

that he had like topical cream. He wasn't crying. He like nursed like, I don't know, shook the baby. Yeah. Rocked it. Rocked it. Yeah. Neither of those things.

Rocked that fucking baby. Rocked that. He kicked it across the room. He punted it. To like get it like to not stop thinking about the penis. Yes. You kick it across the room. Well, they're football sized.

I mean, how could you not? Yeah. Was there a moil? What's the moyle? It's a moyle. Okay. So that's the rabbi that does the brass. And they're also a doctor.

We are going to move on from four-skinned. So just to click, so sex and blowjobs, if you are a woman who is dealing with a guy with an extra long foreskin, let's say, that doesn't automatically go back. Pull it back. Like, do you think he should be responsible for pulling back or should you or does that mix it up? No, you can pull it back. Okay. Anyone can at any point. Do you think there's women out there that are like, can he do it?

I don't want to. You know what? I got a message. Can he take the turtleneck off? I said something like, just pull it back. It'll look like a, you know, a quote-unquote normal penis. And she was like, ew, I'd rather if you did that. That's not my job.

But it's like, what, if I have to, like, pull your lips apart? Like, is that your job? Yeah, I wouldn't want somebody to, like, treat me in my body like that. Yeah. That's such a good comparison. Yeah. A guy's like, I can't find your click. Could you separate your lips?

Sorry, your labia is in the way at your click. Could you pull it back? Most people like that, honestly. No, I'm still. Anyway. So do whatever you feel is comfortable. And if, and if you're unsure what to do. do with it, just ask.

Yeah. Ask your person. Exactly. That's it. So you wrote this thing on your site because we asked people what taboo sex questions they have. We got hundreds and I couldn't even get to the bottom. There were so many of them.

And so many of them are things that Ashley and I say all the time, if you just said the words out loud and asked your partner, like you could ask for what you want, you could explain something that you wanted. And I read on your site, it turns out asking for what you want is the best way to get what you want. And I love that like notion, but I think it's like very scared to ask people. Like I'll tell you guys about it later, but I had like a sex experience. recently and I was like I don't know how to like well a while later what what's

happened when in 30 minutes let's go let's go well a lot of the questions circled around like how do I ask them to be more exploratory and things like that people want language they want explicit language and sometimes I think like asking like flipping it around and saying what do you like what can I do with you will be exciting for you and just showing somebody you're also open to different things is a good like gateway into this so I tried a new thing in bed that I never tried and I've heard about it. I've seen other people. Do you've seen TikToks about it?

What is he? Wait, what is it? He was like, lay on your back, hang your head off the bed. And I was like, oh, you're going to fuck my face. This has never happened to me before. Like, they stand over you. Okay. And like, you know.

So I did. And I was like, I kind of knew what was going to happen, but it's never happened to me. Because I've seen it in porn. You were, like, blowing him with your head. Yeah, yeah. Hanging off the bed. Hanging off the bed. And he, like, very like, spider man kiss.

Yes. Yeah, with the cock. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. But as I'm doing it, I'm like looking up at this guy and they're standing above you and he had huge balls and they were on my face.

Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. And they're like right in my eye sockets, the two balls. The original tea bag, the full-on tea bag. At first it was my forehead. I'm trying to get more comfortable while this is happening. You're like, excuse me. Yes.

And they were so big. And so they're in my eye sockets. And then I get to the point. I move them down with it. They're on my chair. cheeks. They're resting on my cheeks. At which point my eyes are free to open my eyes and look directly into his

Bumble. The way YouTube just connected over this whole experience, I really liked it. Like you're like, yep. Yeah. I mean, because I've been there before, but also I could just picture the whole thing and how it might be uncomfortable as a first timer. Yeah. Well, yeah.

Not a lot of firsts for me. Like I've been having sex for a while. There's not a lot of firsts for me. But I was like, well, this seems like something he's into. I want to be like, game for it. Yeah, yeah. And it opens up the door for me to do some weird shit later.

Like what? That's so true. I'm like, you know your balls were on my cheeks, so I stared up in your butthole. Yeah. Yeah, like, I'm not shaming it anyway. I don't know if like the balls as a blindfolder for me. Like that's going to throw me off a little, my equilibrium. You know, it's like restorative.

Kind of like when you're at a massage and they like, they put the thing out of it. They felt kind of nice. They were. They were just like, they were soft. You know? buckwheat style. Right, like a heated iPad. When I had that Shalazian, I could have used them. That's how you get a Shalazion, though. You put somebody's ball sack on your eyeballs. But let's be real here, the angle is what we're really going for in that, in that situation.

So why, I would like to hear from Sean, like, why do you think he wanted to do that? Just for the fun of it all? Or like, the angle. The angle. You can get, you can get deep without like a gag, maybe less gag reflex. Well, as someone who doesn't really have a gag reflex, I didn't really need to do that. But that's why a guy would want to do that. Like, in his head, he's just like, I can get a better blowjob. You can get a deeper experience. Okay.

And there's probably a little bit of, like, dominating, you know, sort of like, you're kind of a super vulnerable position. Right. You can't really go anywhere. I think the view must be kind of nice, right? It's kind of like a nice view. Oh, the view's great. Yeah, the view's great.

Not for you. It's a horrible view for the woman. Did you finish that one? No, we finished just during sex. Right. Like that was like a four place situation. No, actually it was in the middle of sex. We're having sex and then we stopped to do that. That's great. Yeah, I like that a lot. Yeah. It's a good like palate cleanser.

Yeah, we got right into it. How did you get into, can we back up and hear a little bit about you? Sure, yeah. We're all over the place, but like how, tell us how you got started doing all this. I'm 42 years old. Okay. I'm a single straight white dude. When is your birthday? September 12th, 1982. Okay. I'm a Virgo.

Okay. Is that why you were asking? Yeah, I just want to know your sign. Okay. Capricorn Rising with the Cancer Moon. Oh, okay. Okay. Fun, right?

Yeah. Anyways, 10 years ago in 2014, I was driving a taxi in San Francisco. Okay. I was broke. I needed money. I needed a job. I met this guy who looked cool and drove a cab and I was like, I'm going to do that. And it was cool for about two months.

Yeah. And actually driving a cab was like not fun. Not an Uber, like an actual cab. This was right as Uber was coming on the sea. So this was like an actual cab or like people would hail it. And it was like kind of fun. But then I got bored and my friend said, oh, you should record your conversations with your passengers.

And so I did. I put cameras, microphones, lights in the cab and I called it the love drive. Oh. With their consent. With their consent. So they knew they were being found. This is so cool. They knew they were being filmed.

I had them sign a release. Like taxi cab confession. Like taxi cab confession meets Loveline. That was the idea. That was the idea. And I was both Dr. Drew and Adam Carolla. and the weirdo in taxi cat confessions.

Yeah. And so I drove around San Francisco and had conversations with people about sex, love, and dating. And it was like pretty lowbrow stuff. Like, what's up with shaving your balls? And will you have sex on your period? Or like, do we, how do we feel about sex workers? And it was interesting. It was really fun.

And I did that for about six months. And that was sort of the beginning of the love drive. Wow. Okay. So that's the origin story. That's how I got started. And then I started doing like writing about it, doing videos, a podcast. I started doing some coaching.

then I was talking to my therapist and I was like, I feel kind of like an imposter and she looked to me kind of like, you kind of are. And so I got certified as a coach, started coaching properly, then doing courses, retreats, groups, and then more writing and then podcasting. And here we are. Amazing. I'm glad I asked. I love this story. And also, I mean, I think a lot of people have imposter syndrome in the beginning. I mean, Mel Robbins, who had on the show this week is a perfect example of somebody who just, at 41, just came up with this concept that kind of helped her and her life and some friends liked it and she was speaking at like schools and churches

and then did one of the first TED talks and like you just have to do the tiny thing first. Yeah. You know? And keep doing it. Keep doing some version of, of it, you know.

I love that. And I also love that your therapist was like, yeah, kind of are. Totally. Get more certified. She was right. And you were like,

oh, right, okay. I was totally coaching people like off the cuff, not really knowing like the strategies and the protocols. And that made me a more effective coach once I got certified. Yeah.

So do you talk? to Uber drivers now, like just for the rush of it all? No, God. Oh, my God. You've overcorrected. Don't talk. Don't talk to me. Yeah. Don't talk to me. You turn it on them. You just ask your driver. You're like, so anyway, what about shaving those balls? Yeah. The worst is just, yeah, no, I don't want to talk to my, I don't really want to talk to that many people. Okay. Okay. And you also, are you a certified, like,

crisis and rape counselor also? I was. Yeah. In California, back in Oakland, I got certified as a, as a rape crisis counselor. And so it would do, like, hotline stuff for sexual assault. Oh my gosh. Wow. That's admirable work. It was interesting. I thought it was going to be harder than it was. But if you're able to say things like sexual assault and rape and talk about it in a non-judgmental way or sort of like a without any fear, then that's all really they, people just want support. They want someone that they can talk to. And we had protocols about like when they say this,

say this. And here are the resources that you can give them. We're sort of just like front line defense. What do you smell at? I just think it's really nice. I don't know that a lot of men just wake up one day or like I want to counsel women in crisis. What are you smiling about? I don't know. Sorry.

I don't know. I thought. I don't know. Sheesh. This guy sucks. It was a sweet thing to do. It was. Okay.

So now we feel that you are qualified to continue the conversation. Okay. I thought maybe just the content, how I answered the questions was qualifying. No, it was too. But we wanted to back up. I feel like our audience is like, who is this? A little background.

A little background is nice. A little background is nice. I know. I used to ask people what gives you the right, which is like an old quote from the office. And people didn't like it. Some people got it. But there was one time I was like, I think we both felt like it's time to stop asking that. Somebody was like the fuck did you say to me based?

That was the tone. Yeah. Like a real expert? Probably. Yeah. Probably. And if you don't really know the reference, like it can sound a little rude. I wouldn't have known it, but I would have answered it.

Yeah. Okay. We're just going to take a quick break on topic today. Raina, I have a question for you. How would you feel if you lost your libido? My sex drive. Is that like a serious question? I'd never recover. I know, right? Well, the fact is millions of premenopausal women are frustrated because they lost their libido. But we're here to let you know that there's a treatment called Addie that is clinically proven to boost libido in certain premenopausal women. And this isn't some sketchy gas station pill. It's FDA approved. Talk to your doctor to see if Addy is right for you. And again, it is clinically proven. love the women have this option. Same. You can go learn more at addie.com. That is A-D-D-D-Y-I-com. Addie or Flavanseran. Is for premenopausal women with acquired generalized hypoactive sexual desire disorder, HSDD, who have not had problems with low sexual desire in the past, who have low sexual desire no matter the type of sexual activity, the situation, or the sexual partner.

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Can't recommend them enough. And again, tons of colors and sizes for everybody. You guys can shop the skims. Best Intimates, including the fits everybody collection and more at skims.com and skimstores. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop-down menu that follows. Okay. Like Raina said, I mean, we couldn't, people were chomping at the bit to give us their submissions.

So should we just kind of tackle some? Yeah. A lot of this really that came in was about asking for what you want in bed, whether it's like to be kinkier, more exploratory, to have more sex, to try new positions. tackle a bunch of this, but a lot of people really are scared to just look at their partner and say, like, I want something different. Yeah, I think it's the longer you don't talk about sex, the harder it is to talk about sex. Right? It sort of just gets kind of wrote. You know, you're like, oh, we don't talk about it. We have sex in a very specific way. And yet there's

some desire to have more exploratory sex. And so I think it's just someone has to go first. Yeah. And we talked about that, I think, early on with Ian Kerner, which, when you are starting a relationship, everything's so hot and heavy and the spontaneous desire is there. And it's just going great. And so you don't talk about it. And then you don't have the tools. So you've never talked about it. It's always just sort of happened and it's been fine. And then it stops happening in that way. And you have never had the conversations. You don't have the language. So it's just like talk about it early on. So you at least feel comfortable, even when things are going great. I guess not what I'm saying people wait for like a problem to arise.

Yeah, if you can like build it into the early stages of your relationship. We were used to talking about sex. We're used to like doing a debrief after sex. Oh, how was that for you? What did you love? What would you have loved more of? What were you like not a huge fan of? You can get used to that.

I think that's, it's going to make it a lot easier. By the way, do we think Ian Kerner has done like the most for women getting more orgasms? We love him. Oh my God. That book is it. It was a game changer for me.

Yes. 100% game changer. Yes. The book is she comes first. Yeah. The techniques in that were like pretty simple but very effective. So like when did you read that in your journey? Like before you got into this or like during?

Oh, earlier than that I think. Because I've always I've always been into it personally speaking. How to fuck better? How to fuck better. Yeah. Okay. Oh, I also did a stint as an erotic masseur for a year. Like happy ending massages for women.

You were doing that for a job. Yeah. Raina, calm down. Yeah. I'm fine. And I used a lot of Ian Kerner's techniques, by the way. How did you get into that? This was after the taxi thing.

Okay, so I have a friend. It was in the taxis. It was after the taxi thing. We filmed this too, actually. I didn't film it. But my friend who gave me the idea of the taxi thing also gave me the idea of, she's like, you should be like a male escort or something. Okay.

I was like, yeah, okay. But then you start thinking about being a male escort. And it's like not that straightforward. There's no real marketplace for it. Uh-huh. Right? There's a marketplace for female sex workers. Totally.

Servicing men. But the other way around doesn't really exist. And then there was that show on HBO. What was it called? It was basically a show about a regular dude becoming like a sex worker or something. Yeah, I don't remember. What's it called? Hung.

Hung. Yes. Thank you. Okay. So I was like, oh, I could be like that guy. But the reality is that that, like, what am I doing? Like hanging out in like hotel lobbies. But I decided, oh, if females, if women can can, can,

give erotic massages than I should be able to give erotic messages. So like paid? Yeah. So I started doing erotic massage on, I like, I would advertise on Craigslist. Okay. For like a sensual massage for women experience because a lot of women were like back then in Craigslist there was the casual encounters. Yeah.

And I think what women were looking for casual sex. But but the reality of looking for casual sex on the internet is like actually not quite, not very safe. low, like, success rate, right? Like, you probably end up meeting a whole bunch of creepy dudes or, like, a waste of time. And so I wanted to offer, like, an experience that was like, you come, you get a massage, you get off, you go home. Okay. Well, also, women want a little more intimacy.

Like, it's like the perfect mix of, like, I want to get off. I want to have an experience with a guy, but I wanted to feel a little more intimate than come over and just fuck me. Yeah. And I want to leave after. Mm-hmm. Like, I don't want to stay at your weird house or, you know, like, there must be, like, total weird dingy situations that people are getting themselves into to have casual sex. Well, there's these dance of like, when can I leave, when can you leave?

Wait, you would go there though? You would. No, this happened at my place. They came to you. Did you list your, do you put your photo? I put a bunch of photos, but you couldn't really tell, you couldn't see my face. Okay. Hands.

Seas. Seas. Yeah. No, and I had a good description, like, you know, educated, 33-year-old. Okay. You know, the whole thing. And then I would be like explicitly vague about what would go on. So, like, what did you learn from this about, like, women's pleasure and what they want?

It's a lot like a Rubik's Cube. It's not very straightforward, right? There's a lot of hang-ups that women have around, like, letting go, which I think makes a lot of sense. I think safety was, like, a very important, it's a very important piece of being able to experience pleasure and orgasm. And so some women just didn't get there because it was such like a... Totally. Just like a weird experience. Yeah.

Even though I did everything I could to, like, make them feel safe and what were they looking for? were there boundaries, you know, the whole space was like very inviting and warm and lovely. But what I learned the most is that I just had most of my clients were just looking for love, looking for like some loving touch. Like a little companionship. Something, some sweetness with a man, you know. Wow. And it was a beautiful experience.

Yeah. And it was also like very hard to continue to do that work. Uh-huh. It was like energetically expensive to like give out that much care and tenderness. towards strangers basically. But to your point, it is different than like what we kind of know to be like the man hiring a female sex worker experience, which is like walk in, fuck, leave. Yeah.

This sounds much more intimate. There was like a sitting on the couch. There was soft music. I had lavender tea. Like we sort of had to like kind of warm up into the experience. I am just dying to know every single one of those women's stories. Like because I'm sure some were in relationships. Yeah.

Like sexless or just not being satisfied. I'm sure some just were single. had been for a long time. I mean... Widows. Okay. Divorces. People that were like not conventionally attractive.

Mm-hmm. And people in sexless marriages. Was there a specific age range or was it huge? It was like mainly 30s and 40s. Okay. I didn't screen also. I didn't like, hey, send me your pictures or something. It was just like if you book, you book.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. But it's interesting there was a lot of like talking ahead of time and just getting comfortable. And I mean, women need to feel like that, you know? Yeah. For sure. This should have been like the whole time.

I mean, I'm so a fascinating by this. I mean, we had on this, I mean, male sex worker years ago. We didn't end up airing it. Like the episode wasn't, he just, it wasn't good. But he would be hired a lot just as more of even a date, remember. Like, he had a lot of high power women clientele that just needed like arm candy, essentially or like dates to like events and stuff. Like he would travel with them quite a bit.

There's only two episodes we've ever not aired. That was one of them. Wow. And this one being the second one. Yeah, I just want to get you comfortable with the notion this isn't coming out, you know? That's cool. I'm really glad I came out here and got a little bottle of water, you know. I haven't fascinated by your whole trajectory of life.

It's been weird. It's been a weird trajectory for sure. Very non-traditional. But, you know, I love that you really walk the walk. Were you in a relationship with anybody? No. And that also made dating kind of hard. Sure.

And you would disclose it? Yeah, I disclose everything. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I disclose everything. I think it's just not for everybody, you know, even if you're like, this is professional, this is fine. I was getting a massage from some guy. He talked about his girlfriend the whole time. That guy in Santa Barbara.

Yeah. Is that cool? I actually have never talked to somebody. People really open up to Rayna. She's a very inviting body. I don't want to talk in my massage. I don't want to talk. I get a lot of massages.

It's like my expensive guilty pleasure. But he's the only person to talk to me during a massage. But I don't know. We just started chatting and I was having fun. And I don't know. It's a weird week. Yeah. You don't do that a lot.

That was like a one-off. One off. Wait, was this after the fires? No, it was just like a week. Okay. It was the summer and I was just kind of bored. Okay. Do you ever get a massage and wondered yourself or think like, oh, it'd be nice if this went a little extra?

Every time. That's what I was offering. It was the massage plus a little extra. Yeah. And people like, again, we speak about this very sensibly because there's nothing more disgusting than like an unconsensual. Yeah, yeah. Correct. Sexual act.

There was like a whole thing years ago with that one chain. I mean, it was sickening. So, yes. But like I've gotten that massage. I mean, I was on some press trip. and then the PR company like set me up with the hottest masseuse at the hotel. And he walked out. I was like,

it's this real life? Like I was like, he's going to be on my body. You know, like towards the end, I was like, I would love for this to go to the next level. Yeah.

What would be the next level? Just him touching you? Well, I have not experienced this and Raina can speak on it. But I think, yeah, you're in that area anyway. And it just kind of starts to creep up, right?

That was basically the move is that I would, I would just tease the hell out of them. Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So like getting real close, but not ever.

getting there and then I would then at some point I would say would you like me to continue. Uh-huh. And they'd be like, yes. Yes, exactly. A lot of buy-in. A lot of buy-in. I mean, a lot of women have had A, this fantasy or B, this experience. So it makes total sense.

Why? It's just so sexy. I don't care what the person looks like either. Like, it's just, I actually get a long comfortable when the guy's like too hot because I'm like, I can't like relax as much as I want to. I mean, I also had an experience with a, with a massage I got once in Atlanta. And I just felt like the guy was his tone. was a little too sexy for me.

It made me very uncomfortable. And then you can't relax into that. Exactly. You're like on edge the whole time. Yeah. Yeah. You're like on edge the whole time. Yeah.

Yeah. At the guy now. At the guy no. They're not all over your body. No. Just like start massaging your feet. Yeah. It was like in the stirrups.

Oh my God. But I've mostly, like, for years now, I feel like I've requested women. I just, I just feel more comfortable. Yeah, I do too. Me too. Yeah, I feel more comfortable. No, you don't. Recently at Den Mother, I request a woman as of last month.

I do too. I do too. There are two guys in New York. There's two guys. There's two guys I ping pong back and forth for her. She had like a secret massage life. Like I would be like, I wouldn't hear from her for a couple hours. I'd be like, where have you been?

And she just, it came out that she was going like weekly to get these secret massages. What, were they just regular massages? Just trying their massages. Okay, just secret, not telling your friends. That's myself, that's my self-help, you know? I just like to get a massage. We're in constant communication. It never stops.

If she doesn't hear from me for like an hour, I'm probably at a massage. Right. Concert. I think there's a lot of shame in women. We've got a ton of questions about this. People ask us all the time. I can't come from penetrative sex. I can only come from oral.

I can only come from a toy. Was there like a big range in terms of like how people got off and what they wanted, how long it took? Yeah. And I mean, I always say this. I'm always honest about like the success rate was not, it was like probably 50%? Yeah. You know, and like, do you know the Endless Honeymoon podcast with Mosha Casher and Natasha Natasha? Oh, we know Mosha and Natasha. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So I was on their podcast and Natasha just

roasted the fuck out of it. Actually, both of them roasted the shit out of me for having such a low success rate. They're like, no wonder no one came back to see you more than once if you're only doing it like half the time. Wait, I want to say enough for you though. Women do not get off 50% of the time, not even close. That's what I'm saying. I thought I was doing okay. We're, In our head, even in our safe space with our partner. You know, so to be in this like strange place with this stranger, I mean, yeah. I was trying to provide a loving, caring, sexy experience. Of course, of course.

Yeah. And so if you came, I think that that was great, but also there's a limit to the length of the massage. Yeah. And like if I'm sweating, trying to make it happen, it's not cute for anybody. Yeah. You're like fighting for your life. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, and also, like, I didn't go down on them. I only use my hands. Okay. So like. You are limited. I'm very limited. And Ian Kerner's book, you know, there's some mouth action in there. Totally.

I don't know that everybody can get off from just like clitoral stimulation. Right. Like with a stranger in their home. For the first time. Totally. Right. So I don't know. I think that like sex can be really enjoyable even without the orgasm for me.

Like I can still have fun and enjoy the experience. Sure. Like yeah, what I'd like to have an orgasm, great. But like the whole time leading up to that is really so fun for me regardless. Well, let's get into something. his other questions. Sure. Okay. So I love this one. We didn't even get into a question. Oh, yeah. Let's get into a question. First question. This happens all the time. This happens all the time. I love it. This is how we like to do it. It's just like a easy flow. Okay, first question.

My boyfriend is dead silent during sex. I've tried to tell him to make literally any sound. He's proposing this year, and I think it's time to celebrate by making him make a noise. Hilarious. Doesn't emote during sex. I talked about this on my podcast today. We had a listener call in. Saying what's the deal with guys not making any noises? Yeah. And it's weird. Yeah. It's weird.

I mean, I think there's, I don't know. Where does that come from? Is that like shame, I guess? Yeah. I mean, not wanting to sound silly. I don't think the dirty talk comes natural to your average person. I think it takes time to build up to that. I think, and I certainly don't have a penis, but I think trying to feel like, can I

come. I don't want to come too soon. Like, I'm assuming people are like, I don't want to come too fast. So I have to be quiet. It takes me out of it. I guess. You know, interestingly enough, in tantra, moaning and making noise is a way to, like, release pressure.

And so it's a way to move energy and sort of, like, stuck energy in a tantric. And I'm not a tantra expert, but in, like, a tantric way, if you're all, like, kind of tense, then you can end up coming faster, right? Like, think about yourself if you're trying to come. Sometimes you're, like, tense up. Yeah. And so moaning will, like, release energy and sort of, like, make it flow freer. Interesting.

in a way that could prevent you from actually coming too soon. I mean, I'd want more information. Like, I don't even know if she is wanting dirty talk. I think she's wanting literally anything. A moan, a moan. But then, you know, we had a friend recently, and she told us she slept with a guy, and he moaned like a woman. And I was like, oh.

Like a, uh, uh. Yeah, no, yeah, no, it has to be like, ooh. Like, it has to be like a little bit deeper. And I never, I like gasped. I was like, oh, my, I don't know what I would do. And, like, I wouldn't want to shame somebody for their sounds they were making. But if I feel like if I was with a guy and he was like, he was making the sounds I was making. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know. We don't know who's making what. Right. Was that you or me? Okay, but wait, I think in she comes first, there's, I mean, when you're going down on a woman and you're moaning, you can like make the clit vibrate, like that whole area. Kind of like, mm. Yeah, those are great sounds. Yeah.

So use that, but when you're having sex. Use a deeper, like, moan. Yeah. I think it just takes some people out of it. I think a lot of men struggled to not come too quickly. Or if you're just hearing a bunch of noises, maybe that takes you out of it. You can't, like, focus and concentrate on coming. But I've dealt with this before with a partner that just did not emote, like, any.

Like, I would look down at him and I'd be like, am I bothering you? Like, this is crazy. Like, you're not making any noises at all. And he, I mean, we just never got there. But, like, my advice to people is, like, tell your partner, like, it really, it turns me on to know that you're turned on. Yeah. Like, flip it around and say, like, it's really exciting for me to hear this out of you.

You know, I really like it when you make noises. I would love to hear you make no more. Yeah, if you've made a noise. Here's the thing, though. I think boys are used to being really quiet when they're masturbating because they feel ashamed or they've had parents shame them for masturbating. So they're used to just being kind of furtively pleasing themselves. And that just sort of translates into relationships.

I mean, my tip is to. ask a yes or no question, like see if you can get something out of them. Like, maybe they need to break the barrier. I mean, I would like her to just say, like, do you like this? You know, like get them to say anything to like break through and see if you can get that out of them. And you can't answer with a with a yes or no. So you have to go, mm-hmm. Ah, that's a moan right there. They could answer with that. All I'm saying is like, let's do a test here. Like, let's really give it your all, you know, really be having great sex with your partner and then just be like, do you like it and see what happens? Is you going to just freeze? Do nothing? Like, I feel like if

we could just get there, make it easy on him. Again, I don't know if she just wants a moan or if she wants dirty talk, but like you cannot expect someone who's never made a sound in their life to start proactively dirty talking. You've got to ask him a question. But even even more than that, talk about it before or when you're not having sex. Right. Hey, honey, I would love to hear. you make some noises when we're having sex. It could be a moan. It could be a grunt, anything. It would just turn me on a lot if I could hear you a little bit.

Yeah. I love feeling you. I want to hear you. Yeah. But just I think give it a whirl. Do you like it? Do you like it? Yes or no questions.

No. You don't seem like you like it. Also to your point, like what if he starts making noises and it's real bad? Like these. Well. Because we've heard longcomer. Shane Gillis has a joke about how he sounds like a fucking pug fighting for his life. Yeah. You could see that though looking at him.

Totally. But like maybe at some point maybe you're like, do I want that or do I want silence? So I can just concentrate on my side. Plot twist. He does not propose. Right. She's like, so we started making noise. Yeah. It was the wrong one. Well, you want to know that now. Yeah. Exactly. I just, I want to give people space to like do what they want in the bedroom. I like I like a lot of noises and a lot of talking and dirty talk and like that's what I like, but like that might take somebody out of it. So maybe you're like, what I like is to be silent and maybe you guys just aren't a match.

That's like really important to me to like be with somebody that like can talk dirty and a moat in bed and like it's not an immediate deal breaker, but it's up there. Yeah. And I do. There is such a spectrum. I stand firmly that these things can change. And I have had partners that were dead silent that then dirty talked. You know, like I think people learn new skills.

They learn what you like. So it's we always say like you can't base it off like the very beginning of your sex journey with somebody, but you were with someone for quite some time that just, I mean, a year in and still not one expression even while coming. And I think, you know, that might be a starter. Oh, silent coming? Silent comer. No way. Could you tell it was happening? Yeah, but for other reasons. Was it like a shutter or like some. It was just sort of like a grunt and that was a not barely a grunt. He's just also just not really a motive in life. Like he's just not a really like excited person. And we're still friends today. We're just not a romantic match in any way.

all. But don't you think, I mean, I'd like to know if there's men out there that are just, nothing's coming out of their mouth, they're completely mute, which may be what she's dealing with. Like, I would think most guys say I'm going to come, but maybe like he never did that either. I mean, that's the lowest bar, right? Yeah. Yeah, I'm not saying I'm going to come. You know I'm coming. Like, and for a while, like, there's a buildup. There's a crescendo. Like, it's not, yeah, it's not a surprise. Right. I'm not surprising anybody. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, it's a deal breaker. But she's not. But she's not. It's a deal breaker. But she could do that.

Like, again, if he's never made a peep, like, she could be like, hey, could you just, like, tell me when you're going to come? Like, just so I know. But also, I think, have a conversation with your partner. Yeah. Like, hey, it really turns me on when you make some noises. Like, how come you don't? You know? You could be pointed.

You could be direct about that kind of stuff. Yeah. The shame stuff is interesting. I never really thought about it. But there is so much shame around sex for so many people and masturbating. And maybe it just doesn't come natural to people to, like, emote that much. Yeah. Guys are kind of shut down for the most part.

Yeah. I don't want to throw them under the bus. but like, you know, they're not, men aren't known to be the most emotionally expressive. So in sex, neither. Yeah. And he could have never obviously done this with a previous partner. No one had any issue with it. So this is the first time it's coming up for him.

And, you know, I have faith in him. Yeah. Talk about it. Okay. You got this. My God, there's so many good ones. I'm going to come. Isolate that sound bite, Tessa.

We're going to clip that. Can we talk about like frequency of sex and libido? You can talk about anything you want. So a lot of questions came in. No, no, no, no, no. Not that. Not libido, not frequency. I refuse.

We talked about balls on my face. Yeah. A lot of people saying my sex drive is higher than my partners, essentially, and how do I like bring up that I would like to be having more sex? And I'd like them to initiate it. Because I think eventually with a lot of people, you keep trying to initiate it and you're shut down. And I mean, how could you not turn in on yourself and say that?

Maybe they're not attracted to me, you know? But I think that it makes you feel really bad. But if you think love is rare, it's hard to find people you care about. And this is something worth working on. So I have more of a libido than my partner. How do I bring it up? Yeah. And it's usually,

it's usually female has a higher libido than their male partners. Which is, I feel like this myth that guys want to fuck all the time. You know, so women get in their head of like, I thought that guys always were horny and down to fuck. As we get older, right. We're less horny.

Yeah. And women end up being more horny. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of sad. It's kind of tragic. I feel like it's also one of the biggest complaints. that some, that couples have.

Yeah. It's either like libido discreptancy or money. Those are the two things. Right. And I don't know if I, I don't actually have the answer to this. I don't really know. It's funny, I was listening to something recently. It's like women or people in relationships want their partner to act in a certain way.

But if you have to ask for it and then they do it and then you go, well, I kind of wish you had just done it without me asking for it. But I don't see any other way around saying like I have a higher libido. it would feel good to me if you initiated it a little bit more. And if we could find, like, meet somewhere in the middle. But there's going to have to be some sort of compromise here. Yeah. I mean, we did talk about this at length with Anne Kerner, so you guys can listen back.

But there is no just answer. Yeah. You know, I mean, it's communication and figuring out if you are a match and you can meet in the middle. I mean, I think as women, we feel embarrassed to bring this up. Right. And then you're like, well, you know how you're only doing it. It's like, I want you to. want to do the dishes.

Yeah, yeah. Well, I don't want to do the dishes. Right. So it's tough. And I think you approach this with like, I love you. I'm, if that's where you're at in your relationship. I love our sex life. I love our sex life.

I'm so turned on by you. I would love it even more. Yeah. Yeah. Like start with the positives and see. And you could have a partner that doesn't even realize it. Maybe. And also, are we just in a stage of life where they're stressed with work?

Like, what are you guys dealing with? Are you trying to get pregnant? I mean, is there any stresses in the relationship? relationship, like reminding yourself that relationships ebb and flow, and they couples go through highs and lows of having sex, too. And you take each other for granted. I think when you have children, I can't even imagine coming home after working a whole day and taking care of my kids and then you feel sexy.

You want to have sex at the end of the day. Like, I think that a lot of people just fall into that script of like, you're here. I get to sleep next to you. And I think trying to manufacture an environment that's a little sex year, I think massages are a great way to do that. Schedule that shit also. I know it's unsexy, but like, I think if you have a family and you're really busy, scheduling sex is like a total, I think it's a winning strategy. I think there's a lot of like pros and cons to scheduling sex and that people have like a big reaction to it.

Like I would never do that. But if nothing's working, why not try this thing? Well, you schedule a date night. So, you know, is it part of that? But why are we scheduling like a romantic night out but not the intimacy part of it? Yeah. Also, fuck before dinner. if you can't. Thank you. I love. You do a whole episode on this. Fuck before dinner.

What? Fuck first. I just did this with someone. Yeah. And you're going to enjoy the meal. Totally. She was like kind of not into it. It was like, took, took her a while to like wrap her head around it. Somebody you were having sex with before dinner. Yes. I am never hornier than the afternoon, early evening. And I'm never less horny than after a giant meal. Yeah. You're just like pushed on my stomach. She wanted to connect more before sex. And I was like, look, girl, We'll connect after sex. Sean's like, we'll get to you and your feelings after I come. Yeah, exactly.

This will make me want to talk to you. Well, the fear was that I wasn't going to want to talk to her because after sex, then it's like some people just aren't into it anymore. Yeah, but it's like we have a reservation. You know, we're locked into dinner regardless. Yeah, we're going. So have sex before. I got 20 bucks on this day.

I got a deposit. Do you Peloton at all? No, but I have. I have. Okay. Well, so I was taking a Cody Rigsby class the other. day and he started in on this of like why are we having sex after dinner like it should always be before you eat you know my night time sex is my least favorite after my whole day I've done my

skincare routine I'm going to sleep balls on your face after that no you got to do it again you got to clean your face again after that I had a full face of makeup on when that was happening I wanted to have two little eye holes on his balls no he's like you have mascara running down yeah he's like you got mascara on my balls um you have to walk up it rub it all Wait, one more thing is if your male partner is looking at porn and you're not having sex, there's an issue. I don't want to shame anybody for their porn use. Right.

Yeah, it's like you have a solo sex life. That's okay. But if you're prioritizing, masturbating to porn over having sex with your partner, that's probably an issue. Yes. The issue is actually not that you don't have a libido. It's that you aren't having sex with me. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

And then that is there's no way to diagnose that without all the information. How long have you been together what's going on in the relationship? I mean, that's like sometimes where a third party needs to come in. And I'm not, yeah, I don't want to say like, don't look at porn. Don't masturbate on your own. That's not what I'm saying. But there could be something to explore there. Yeah.

And that's tough. I mean, I'm sure women listening are experiencing this now or they have in the past where they're not having the sex life they won't with their partner, but they know he's still watching porn and masturbating. That's really a hurtful. Yeah. Yeah. And non-monogamy is also could be a solution.

for some people, obviously not everybody. Well, I think it's fair to open up that conversation and say, like, sex is really important to me and, like, feeling connected physically to somebody. And if you are refusing to give that to me, then I should be allowed to explore this somewhere else. You're allowed to say no and go. And you're allowed to leave, yeah. And that might even take some pressure off of the partner who has a lower libido.

You know, like, oh, okay, my partner is getting laid and is happy and I don't have to feel bad or guilty about that. That could be nice. Yeah. It's an advanced strategy. I'm not saying like anyone can just jump into non-monogamy. But there are books like opening up, you know, that walk you through the whole thing. This comes up a lot over all the years we've been doing this of just wanting your partner to initiate sex.

And I do think you have to ask yourself, like, have they ever? You know, like, do you want things to go back to a way that they were or are you wanting someone to be someone that they never really have been? So I think that's a question to ask yourself too. Like, has something changed or have you just been like, I want what I see in the movies? I want what I see and my friend's relationships or I want him to, you know, rip my clothes off in this way. And it's like, well, is that who we're talking about? Has he ever been that guy?

You know, so that's something too. Right. Yeah. But there's also, you can bridge the gap a little bit. Yeah, yeah. We can invite people to try on different. Yeah. And you shouldn't have to shape shift to turn him on.

But Raina saying, like, is the environment conducive to sex? Are we cleaning up our side of the street? first to kind of make it sexy too is a good place to start. Take a shower together, you know? The massages. Our suck and blowjo? Yeah. Yeah.

What? We have a like oral enhancer. We'll send you home with some. Oh, cool. Yeah. It's like a floby, but for. It's flavored lube essentially. Oh, yummy.

Yeah. But I think, you know, create an environment. Turn the lights off in the bathroom, light some candles, take a shower together. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Also talk about sex. I feel like I love all that. Like that's like very situational.

But also can we get there through just talking about what we love, what we wish we could have more of? There's a great tool called the yes, no maybe list. You can Google it. There's a good one by a company or an organization called Auto Straddle, Auto A-U-T-O-Straddle. Okay. And it's basically this whole exercise that you can go and take with your partner or the person that you're sleeping with. It could even be like a new person. take it to a cool bar,

cool restaurant, bring pens. And it's basically allows you to learn things that you want to do, don't want to do, or might want to do at some point.

Okay. I love this. All these different strategies, like all these different little things that you might not think of, like kissing in the shower

or like playing with wax or like the gamut, really the gamut from like really mild to really wild. I like the idea that somebody else facilitates this, that you're not really on the hook for these questions,

that you're just like, I found this list one, yeah. Yeah, and you can circle like a happy face or a sad face next to the things that you want to try or absolutely don't want to try. And then there's other things like I love it when you refer to my genitals as this. Never refer to my genitals as this. I love this.

I don't know that you don't like me. You don't like it when I call it a dick, but you really like it when I call it a cock. Yeah. And then you start, then you're like. I love that. Like this whole time dick's been taking him out of it. Yeah. You know, he's like, I haven't said, I haven't made a moan in bed because you've been calling it a dick.

Yeah. I'm going to do with sick cock. Yeah. A winkle or whatever. I don't know. I like slut. I don't like whore. They feel different to me.

Totally. They are different. They are. They feel different to me. Like slut's great. All day. Hore? I'm like, do you hate your mother?

Fuck you. Why are you talking to me like this? Yeah. I'm like, that's right. I am. Yeah. So the yes, no, maybe list. Small change.

It makes a huge difference. Okay. Well, then speaking to this, what are you supposed to call men during sex? Some don't like daddy. So like, what? I like that. I like that.

She's her only vocabulary is daddy. Well, I appreciate the question. But like a new person, baby sounds weird. Babe sounds weird. Daddy is not for, that's not flying at a person. But you don't have to call him anything. That's the thing too. You don't have to call him anything.

I'm trying to, I'm thinking in my own experience. Like, fuck me harder. I don't know that I call him anything. I've busted out of daddy here and there, but it depends on their name. Or their name is actually kind of hot.

Their name. Yeah. Don't forget their name. Yeah. Use their name. God. Right. God?

Like, oh my God. Oh my God. Yeah, I mean, I'm curious what she's really itching to call him. Like, I really do appreciate the question. Me too. Do you call him something else outside of the bedroom? Like, yeah, I guess I'm saying babe sometimes. Yeah, sweetie.

Yes, yeah. Sweetie. Okay, I lived in Panama for a little while. Sean, you're so interesting. I started a hostel for motorcycle travelers a long time ago. Obviously. And I was like, I had read the game. This was like when the game kind of came out and it fucked me up.

Yeah. I was like, this is wrong. It doesn't feel right. Good. I'm glad you said that. Yeah. But I guess I'll try some of these like waiting three days to text back or whatever. But I was also in Panama.

I didn't speak Spanish at the time I do now. And I just had a really hard time connecting with people. And this was like predating apps. And anyways, I was like getting really horny and kind of desperate. And my buddies were like, this is bad, dude. Like you're everywhere you're going like you can't stop thinking or talking about sex. And like, I was just like really. And you could smell.

You could smell the desperation. Uh-huh. Okay. Anyways, yeah, I was in, so he brought me to a brothel. And he's like, we just got to get this out of your system. Yeah. And she said, Que Rico Poppy, right?

Which is like, and it just, it really worked. Okay. So for me, Poppy works. There we go. Yeah, Poppy. That is so funny to say that, just some white dude. Just some average white dude, call him Poppy. He's like, calling Poppy.

Who did I call? I call him Poppy. Little white boy. Five, eight. So if you're like, if you're like Daddy, call him Poppy. Pappy. Listen, try it. I like it.

Poppy, I like daddy. I mean, not everybody is the daddy. Yeah, that's true. Not everybody can absorb the daddy. The daddy energy. Yes. I will say that it did work after the brothel experience. What work?

I wasn't so desperate and like... And you stopped using the game, obviously. I stopped using the game and I like went on regular dates with people. You text back immediately. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I treated them nicely. Yeah. I don't do daddy.

I don't know. I don't think this is a big shocker to anybody. Yeah, like I don't, I don't, I guess I would if my partner wanted it. but like I have never done it and like I think it would really throw him off. Yes. So I think if you call him babe or baby outside of the bedroom, bring it into the bedroom, his name or nothing. Or nothing.

Yeah. We solve this one. Yeah. Daddy feels more natural to me sexting and not actually saying it out loud. If I were to say daddy, it would be a bit. Like we both start laugh. Like it would be, he would know as a joke. Yeah.

He'd be like, Ashley said the. funniest thing during sex. Called me daddy. She was telling me jokes. I mean, it's hot to be called daddy for sure. I get it. I'm not shaming it. It's not in my repertoire.

I've asked my fiance, like, do you want me to call you daddy? He was like, no. I was like, glad we got past that. No daddy, no anal. No daddy, no anal. Okay, can we wrap up with anal? Yeah, I love it. Yes, love it.

This was one of the most asked questions. How do I get more into anal? Do we have time? We don't have time for anal. It's always time for anal, Sean. Let's five minutes for anal. It's like jello. So this came up a ton about anal.

And I'm like, I thought we talked about this so much. I love it. We had something in the show, Dr. Evan Goldstein, and did a whole episode about like anal from a doctor. It was two years ago in February. So you guys can look that up. But I think that like so many women are like, I genuinely don't care for this. But my partner wants to do it. I don't want to like, there's this whole hole that like I'm not using.

And they are requesting it. Like how can I make this marginally enjoyable. for myself. Yeah. Yeah. That's actually a pretty common scenario. I've like, I've experienced women that are like, I'm not really into it, but if it makes you happy, I'm happy to like give it a shot. I think you have to be kind of, you kind of want to want it. You got to want it. So as a man, you have sex with females. Like somebody's sitting there like, oh, oh, yeah, like, who would enjoy that? Well, you can't just, I mean, there's a lot of preparation that comes into having anal sex. So what kind of prep do you do?

Well, I mean, butt plugs are a really good place to start. Like a training kit. A training kit with different size butt plugs, start small, medium, and large. Right. Starting with a full-sized penis, I mean, that's, it's going to hurt. Or a full-sized butt plug. The great thing about butt plugs is that they just, they're static. They just stay there.

And then your butt hole sort of just like gets used to being kind of stretched out a little bit. We sell a great butt plug, and it is, it's not too large. It's a great size. It really could be for a novice or an expert. And, you know, obviously, lube is so important. Lots of lube pushing out is actually kind of a power move when you're, like, taking in either the butt plug or a penis. It's like bearing down kind of like you would poop. Okay.

Sort of like, I don't know, it just kind of primes the sphincter for something to come in. I think it's really not a familiar sensation for a lot of people. And so if you've never done it before and all of a sudden there's this thing introduced to the cavity of your body. Like, it's hard to like that. So I like the idea of training with smaller plugs. You just get to use to the sensation. I mean, we talked about this at length with Dr. Evan. You guys can listen back.

We asked all the questions. Is there poop always in there, et cetera? No. Well, it just depends. A lot of times there is poop in there, right? Right in there. A lot of times there's not. Well, the reality is you can't keep knocking on poop's door expecting poop not to be home.

Okay. Exactly. I mean, poop's going to be home sometimes. Why are you coming by? But I think the question talking with you, and you're not technically a doctor, is this whole, like, I don't want to, and he wants to. And, like, I don't really know what to tell you there. You know, like, are you in a position with your partner where you're feeling anxiety surrounding

he wants to do this thing that I really don't want to do? And I don't know that I have the answer to that. I mean, you're not everybody's going to enjoy it and find it pleasurable. I don't like it. I've never had an anal experience I enjoyed, whether it was even a finger, because I think you can, like, work your way into it with like fingers. Oh, you should work your way with a finger for sure, 100%. And just get used that sensation.

But for me, I just, I really don't enjoy it, like, to the point that, like, I'm really not going to be that fun while it's happening either. And I can deal with a finger, even though I, like, kind of hate it. It doesn't feel so bad. But a whole penis, I don't want it. I don't like it. Well, also has this hypothetical couple done a finger, you know, like, if a guy is like, hey, I really want to put it in your butt.

I'm like, put your finger in there. We're going to start there for me and for you. Yeah. You know, like, eat it. Eat it out. Eat my butt then. Yeah, eat my butt. Get the finger wet.

Yeah. Put the finger in. Let's see what that feels like. You don't just to get to come in hot. You can't come in hot. You cannot 100%. We're not doing anal unless you've eaten my ass a couple times. But yeah, that's at the very minimum you eat the ass.

Then you need way more. Like, I'm saying if you've never had anal sex, like you're going to need a couple hours to feel comfortable enough to take the penis. If not a couple sessions. This is not something that you just do on a drunken Wednesday. Yes. You don't want to kind of fire into it really quickly. be like, this is just going to take a while. Yeah.

Yeah, but I want to know that you want this booty hole so bad. And that might turn me on. So as opposed to like, my man just wants to do anal because he heard it's tighter, whatever he wants. Like, it's like, I want to know that you want my butt so bad that you are eating it regularly, that you've stuck your finger in there. Like, I think that would turn me on more than like he just wants to put it in because he thinks it's going to be tight. And that you're willing to do the work.

Thank you. You're willing. Yeah, prove it. Yeah, you're willing to take two hours to like really. warm me up and do everything that you need to make sure that this doesn't hurt at all. And not only does it not hurt, it feels good. What about this project with me if you want this so bad? Right.

I mean weeks and a day. Like eat my ass weekly through Q1. Yeah. And we'll address this in Q2. In April. Yeah. Well, I will also say that some women, some people love, they are but sluts. Totally.

They love butt sex. So we're talking about like, oh, make it not hurt. you know, like make it pleasure. Well, some people really get off, they get off on it. And so like, you know, obviously this is not this person. Right. Like could be that person if you fucking do it right. Right.

You do it right. But those people that like Leveid also didn't like do anal for the first time and thought like the best thing ever. Like you've got to work towards it. Maybe they did. Who knows? Maybe. Yeah.

Who's to say? Maybe I'll be a butt slut. If I believe in it hard enough, maybe I'll be a butt slut. Yeah. And go slow. I mean, it's not. Yeah. Take your time.

Yeah. I just think you need to reframe it in some way to turn yourself on. on about it. You know what I mean? And for me, that would be like, he cannot get enough of my butt,

you know? I'll be honest, I love butt stuff. Yeah. I cannot get enough of it. Anal to, like all of it? All of it.

All of it. All of it. I don't get a lot of it, but I can't get enough of it. Okay. Okay. Could you be with someone who was like hard lying,

no anal? I'm not sure. Okay. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Yeah, I'm not sure. I don't, if somebody was like

every time we got to do butt stuff, I don't think they could date me. But like, I be with someone who refused to utter a word in the bedroom? Probably not. You know, like, they're not that dissimilar. It's like, we like what we like. And some people have boundaries surrounding those things. And that may not be your partner. But it sounds like also you're like, I want this, but I'll work with you on it. I'll train that butthole. Oh, I'll train the butthole. I'll take my time with you. There's no, there's no pressure. There's no rush. Yeah.

For somebody who really doesn't like butt stuff, people cannot get enough of my butthole. I just every guy wants to be inside of it. It's a good one, right? Oh, yeah, I was told I have a perfect butthole, just an absolutely perfect butthole. What makes it perfect? Color. Color. Not too brownliness. It's totally pink. It's totally pink. Cleanliness. I guess cleanliness and color. Well, yeah, maybe, I mean, it's also who the butthole belongs to. Well, I'm so tiny. Yeah. The butt. Yeah. You know, the butt that surrounds the butt hole. Yeah. Yeah. People forget about my butt because my boobs are so big, but it's a good butt. Yeah. It is. Yeah. One final wild card shot. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Why? Are you going to ask my favorite? No, no, I'm not going to take it away from you. Okay. I'm glad that your head's shaved today. Why do bald guys eat pussy so much better? And then I made a note, Sean shaved his head. We can ask him if it makes him actually better eat.

So I saw a video and I saw a reel recently and it was like man on the street kind of stuff, you know, asking drunk people stuff. And someone would ask them, what gets better with age? And someone said a bald man's cock. What? Which I think it's like you have to try harder if you're bald. Okay. It's like being short.

It's the psychological reason behind it. It's like being short. Yeah. You're not bald though. I'm balding. You are? Yeah. It's like it's thinner here and it's thin.

I went early. I shaved early. Yeah. Because I wouldn't be able to tell you have any male pattern going on. But if it's my hair is longer, you can see the scalp and I didn't like it. Okay. And so I shaved it in June. Okay.

And I'm still getting used to it. Okay. And I still don't love it. Okay. I don't love the way I look at it in photo. I like how I look in the mirror. Interesting. I'm still getting used to it.

I get that. That's a lot to get used to. If I feel like my face. I look in the mirror and I'm like, she's killing it. I look at a photo. I'm like, that's what I look like. Yeah, what's happening? What's happening?

We encourage people to shave their heads. I am often encouraged men to go bald. Well, I'm also not willing to take any finasteride or rogain because of what it does your hormones. And it's like, it can impact your libido in a very serious way. And there's even something called post-finasteride syndrome, which is people who take propitia. to get to keep their hair or grow their hair back, they get a problem.

They get like erectile dysfunction or watery semen or all this kind of weird low libido. They stop taking the pills. The side effects persist. Yikes. Because I mean, everything comes to cost. I don't know. Like there's no, I feel like perfect solution to a lot of certain things like that. And I mean, also the thing with Rogan, because now they have it for monoxide.

They have it for women too is because I was having some shedding and I looked into it. And you've got to commit to it forever. Also, there's side effects to Rogain. There's facial sagging can come from Rogate. Yeah. So it's going to cause. So I was like, do I want a hard cock or a bald head? You know, and I was like, I'm going to pick, wait, both.

Yeah, sorry. A head of hair or a hard cock. But I think there's something to this, like just a little bit of trying harder. If this is a correlation, it's just like I'm bald now, I got to eat pussy a little better. And I got to hit the gym. Uh-huh. I hit the gym.

I got to get, you know, abs or whatever. And I got to eat pussy. But I've always eaten pussy. That's never changed. Okay. So I don't know what it is about bald dudes and eating pussy. When did you start eating pussy? Like in high school.

Like in middle school. What are you eating puppies in middle school? Okay. No way. Like of other middle schoolers? Well, who else would it be? Do you remember when you first heard about people putting their mouth on your vagina? I remember hearing the term eating her out in middle school and I was like, what are you talking about?

Like I was like, what do you mean? I think I must have been in high school. No, no. not shaming. No, no, I know, but I'm trying to think. I'm trying to think. Yeah. I think her name was Lily and I think I was in, I was a freshman in high school.

Okay. How old were you first time when I went down on you? It was May 5th, 2001. What happened on May 5th, 2001? That was my senior prom. Oh, nice. Yeah. So up until then, like, I'd been fingered and everything, but that was the first time someone

ate my pussy. And I was like, what the fuck? Like, it's crazy. They just like go down there and start licking. Like I was like, this is wild. And you're just like have an orgasm. It's crazy. I've never not eaten pussy.

Like I can't, I can think of one or two interactions where I have not. And it's only because she wasn't comfortable with it. Like it felt too intimate. I mean, we had tinks on. Do you know tinks? Yeah. And she kind of is like, guys who don't eat pussy are like my hard line. She's like, I think it just says a lot about them.

And she's like, I know this might be controversial and people can change. But like an adult man who is like, I don't. do that. I don't like to do it. She's like for personally, it's not for me. And I agree with that stance. Yep. I don't know because I think about like a woman saying like, well, I don't suck dick. And like that's also like a personal preference. Like you don't have to be with somebody that doesn't like that.

But I'm not like so crazy about people going down on me. It's not that I don't like come. I come like too fast from it. And I'm just like done with the experience. But like I don't need it. But guys that don't want to do it. That's different. Then that's different to me. Like I'm like I'm not requesting it on the menu every single day.

But like if you are a hard line I don't do. I want you to want you to want to do the dishes. Yeah. Yeah. I want you to want it. It's giving misogyny or something. Yes. I don't exactly understand, but I feel like people who don't go down kind of hate women.

Yeah. I love that. And it's not manly to go down on a woman. Also, like, why should I be like sucking your dick, choking, tears down my face, trying to breathe? Balls in my eye sockets. Yeah. A harder job than eating pussy.

And you're just like, I'm all set? No, no. I could never. They don't call it a blowjob for nothing. I've never experienced a guy like that. And I don't want to. That won't go down on you? Yeah.

Because I only like liberal men. You don't like liberal men? I only like liberal men. I've got a couple of moderate sneak in there, okay? And maybe a conservative or two. Just to see what it would feel like. Well, I'd tell how tall they are. Okay.

Not anymore. Did we answer the question? Yeah. Bald man going down. I think it's a little bit of compensating. To anybody who's considering shaving their head, I don't think it has impacted how people view me or like I'm still able to maybe only for the better I don't know I mean there are probably some women that are just like

I'm not into a shaved head like that's not my style you know but for the most part I'm still able to like flirt with people and go on dates and it doesn't seem to have impacted my love life in any negative way I'm glad to hear it I have been a one woman marketing machine for bald guys for seven years really yeah for years I've been like go get a guy that has like a beard that's bald that's so sexy. It's so confident to me. Yeah. Because like you are walking around, I guess,

with not like the quote unquote normal haircut. I think it's so confident and sexy. Well, I'm sure there's guys out there that are like, listen, yeah, what I would prefer is a full head of hair. I would prefer a full head of hair.

Okay, but like the worst case scenario is like thinning, balding hair. Or a limp cock. Or that. And some weird regime where you have to like fuck with your scalp for three hours a day. I don't want a time for that. You go to ski trip. Yeah, I'm going skiing.

She convinced a guy friend to like to shave his head. And he was like holding on to that last, you know, patchy. And he's so much hotter and I feel like he's so much more confident and he pulls it off. But it's just like the worst thing you can do is really hold on for dear life. It's the spiritual path. Yeah. Of the fact is that we are aging. It's coming for all of us.

Right. The bodies are not as tight. Things are sagging. You know. And it's a privilege. And it's like we just have to. accept the fact that we're changing. We don't have to like lay down and fucking get bulldozed by it.

We could still go to the gym, eat well, sleep well, drink water, all that stuff. But like, we're getting colder. Yeah, and it just happens gradually. Like, I always thought I was going to, like, lose my fucking mind when I saw a gray hair. And I'm like, I have a couple. I'm fine. You're fine. Like, I thought I would, like, freak out.

And I'm like, oh, yeah, all right, whatever. Gray hair's cool. I started going gray when I was 15. So for me, like. Yeah. Uh-huh. You just kind of got used to it. I've been dealing with it for a long time.

Was this not the best? This is just fun. I'm glad you showed up. Holy. Yeah, me too. He's like, I gotta go see. I didn't know it was going to be so fun. Oh, you wouldn't have shown up?

What is that? No, I wouldn't have canceled. Everybody has fun. Everybody really likes us. They do. People love coming on this show. I've heard great things. And now I can confirm them.

I just these dogs, you know. The dogs are special. Right. They really are. The dogs are special. I just loved talking about just anal and eating pussy just over these two sleeping. Angels. Angels.

They don't even know. Tessus has been laughing out loud the whole time. I'm really, I loved this episode. Well, I'm sure people want more of you. Tell them where to find your Instagram, your website, your podcast, everything. Yeah, my Instagram is The Love Drive. I have a podcast with the Angry Therapist, John Kim. It's called We Can Do Better about how men and people can be better

and we take listener questions. And I have a substack called The Love Drive where I write about a lot more intimate parts of my life. And I have a retreat coming up in June at Krapaloo, which is like a hippie yoga center in Western Massachusetts. Okay. And it's called Love Camp, June 20, 21, and 22nd. All that stuff is at the link in my bio on Instagram. Amazing.

Amazing. This is so much fun. Thank you for doing that. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I loved it. And you guys know where to find us, Girls Gotta Eat.com. We are Girls Gotta Eat Podcast on Instagram and TikTok.

I am Ash Hess. Ash Hess.com. Raina is reina. com. Vibes only.com for the suck and blow gel and all the toys and all the things, the butt plug. And you can subscribe on YouTube. share this episode with a friend that may need it, and we will see you Thursday.

Have a good week, guys.