Girls Gotta Eat - Can You Turn a Vacationship into a Relationship?

Episode Date: July 30, 2018

We come in hot by recapping our Dewey Beach trip with a play-by-play of all the guys who fell in love with Rayna, then transition perfectly into the question on every single girl's mind in the summer: Can I turn this vacay fling into the real thing? It can happen, and we have plenty of advice (and experience) to offer. And we're SO excited to introduce a new segment called "Is This Weird?" featuring everything from cults to cum phobias. Cheers! Follow Girls Gotta Eat on Instagram @GirlsGottaEatPodcast. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I felt like a retired player in the sidelines. Like, just watching Raina, like, do you need anything? Can I get you some water? Do you need any Gatorade? Do you need a phone charger? Like, what can I do for you? Like, I really felt like I was this proud coach. Like, keep your head in the game, Raina.

Hi, guys. Gosh, been so long. I didn't know. What's a podcast? Welcome back to another episode of Girls Got to Eat. This is a podcast. Welcome back. It's a podcast.

We've been drinking a lot lately. Are we alive anymore? I don't know. I got a surge of nervous. Like, how do we do? What are we doing? We haven't recorded in a couple weeks. As always, we're coming to you from Mouth Media, powered by Senheiser.

We're always trying to tell you guys to check out their shows. Check out hashtag Moms Got This. We love that one. Okay. I want to stay up top, thank you guys so much for the reviews, for putting us in your stories. We really appreciate it. Please keep doing it.

I would like to address the fact that we have about 1,500 reviews on iTunes, which is amazing. It's amazing. But is it, though? It isn't, though, because. Because we have 21,000 followers on Instagram, and we do not have 21,000 reviews on iTunes. I'm going to, it's probably, you know what? It's at 22.

I just want to get the facts straight. Okay. What are the other 20,000 of you doing with your lives all day? I produce this podcast. You're not leaving me reviews. Ashley's like, be nice to people. I love you guys. But what the fuck are you doing?

We know you have a phone. We know you have the internet. If you don't want to write a review, that's fine. We can't get to them all anyway. but rate, the ratings. Literally, we need those stars. Click a star. They should force you to do it like Uber.

Every time you listen, you have to rate it. And put us in your stories, how cool is it to be like the first person to introduce your friends to like a cool new show or movie? You can be that person. You're really selling it. How cool would it be? Well, this is a good segue into what we're going to talk about a little bit today. It's been a couple weeks. Yeah.

If you guys follow us on. Instagram you saw that we were, well, we said we were going to Dewee Beach on the episode before we went, and then we posted a lot about it, and it was crazy. It was fun. I had a great time. You wiped away your stain of going there with a boring guy. Oh, my God. First of all, it's just not a place you can ever go with, like, just a relationship and not other people,

but him specifically was just awful. I don't know if I've ever seen you live your best life in such a way. Like, I, there was a point where I just was like, I've seen, Raina hasn't stopped. smiling in five hours. Like your face was just like a permiss smile. Well, let's tell them. Dewey Beach is in Delaware. Ashley's been going there your whole life. My whole life. I lived there a few summers. My dog is named Dewey. My brother owns a home down there and he works there at the best bar in the world, the Starboard. It's just, it's my favorite place on earth. I've spent a ton, a ton of time there. My best friend got engaged there. Corey, I've talked about her a few times. So yeah, I mean,

it's my most important place. It's like basically my hometown. It's not a place that a lot of New Yorkers know about. So in the Northeast people go to like the Hamptons or the Jersey Shore. So Dewey Beach is like really casual, really laid back. Lots of live music. You can honestly wear a swimsuit cover up to a bar. Yeah, no heels, like just really chill. It's just this perfect place. I love it.

Everybody I've ever brought there has loved it. It's perfect. And also, every time I met somebody in Dewey and I mentioned Ashley's brother, like, oh my God, you know Matt Heseltine. Yeah. Oh my gosh, is that a sister? Okay, I can't talk to you anymore. I have to go meet a sister.

My brother is the most famous bartender in Delaware. He really is. Listen, there were three separate instances where guys were running game on me. And, like, it came up that I knew Matt and then that you were his sister and they cut me off to go meet Matt Heseltine's sister. They could have kept running game on me, but instead needed to meet another world-famous Heseltine. It's literally all week right. It was like, world-famous Hustle-Times. And then I, like, headline this comedy show with the Starboard.

It was just, like, so much. She did a great job. It was the second time I seen Ashley do stand-up. She was amazing. The whole room was going crazy for her. And I know your mom listens to the show. Your family is amazing. Ashley's parents are so much fun to be with.

World famous. They're world famous. But let's talk about the trip. Let's talk about the trip. We get in and it's just a lot of people know me there. And now, of course, they know who Raina is. If they're following, girls got to eat, social media. You just go in.

People are handing new shots. People are handing new drinks. And Raina is, I mean, she's a small person. and she is a little bit of a lightweight. I was like, she's going to die tonight. Like, I was like, this is not okay. Like, I was really genuinely worried, but like, I blacked out too. So at the end of the night, we heard this the next day.

We saw video. We went to the Starboard. We heard the next day from one of the bouncers. You ladies were stumbling up the exit ramp. Up, up and exit ramp. Stumbling up and exit. How on earth do you manage to stumble up and exit ramp? Name dropping Matt Hustle time.

Like, we can get in. We're of age. We didn't need to name. up. Like, what were we doing? We took her with the dance floor. My brother the next morning. Like, we're in Tao in Vegas, team dropping the bartender's name to get in to like a seaside bar. Whatever. We don't remember much of Saturday. It was a blast. But we woke up Sunday is my favorite day in Dewey. People call it Suicide Sunday. You just go to the starboard. You start drinking very early. Do the whole day. You end up at this place called North Beach for the sunset. It's just a really fun day of like live music,

drinking, ruining your body. But we wake up Sunday. And right now, right now, You weren't doing well. It was, let me just say, it's the sickest I've ever been. I actually considered going to the hospital. Well, okay. I had to get up, I woke up fully closed from the night before. I'm in my 30s at your brother's house in bed with another girl who we were on vacation with. So it's not like I brought home a girl.

That would be so epic. And I roll over and I bring home a girl to not only are you. To your brother's house. I wake up. I'm fully dressed. I'm a butt. And I just decide, you know, first thing you do, obviously is look at your phone.

You're like, let's recount what happened last night and what I did to myself. And I have a voicemail, and I open up the voicemail. And I hear this, like, I'm a sexy guy's voice. And he's like, who's up, girl? This is Keith? You got an emergency? Hit me back.

He needs his phone number. I'm like, oh, shit. He sounds cute. And I, like, go back. I'm like, what does it? I'm like, what does that? How was this? This is like 8.30 at night. I'm like, first of all, I cannot believe I was blacked out by 830. But I'm like, who was this guy? So I go. And Ray isn't like a fog, but I did hear him say emergency. And I'm like, what is going on here?

Why would I have an emergency? Why would I have an emergency? Call Keith. Day 130 without sex. Emergency. So I opened up my call log and it's like 17 calls to Ashley, my dad, and 9-1-9-1. 9-1. 9-1. 9-1. 9-1. help, I'm drunk. I want to get late. A 30 second call to 911 at 827 at night. What is your emergency? I'm drunk and Uber wasn't picking up. Why did I call? How is this even possible? I mean, probably it was like on your lock screen, but you just went hand. Like, who knows? Why? But I did not know that 911 would call you back. It's just addressed the fact that I'm all excited some dude finally called me back and how did I get a guy to call me back?

I called 911. So ladies, if you can't get a guy to call you back, call 911. I just lost it. Like we all week, I mean, you guys are probably seeing this on Instagram. It's like the day 120 without sex, day like all these memes or whatever. It's just so funny.

It's like day 220 without sex called 911. Just for me was only nine days, by the way. And also like day nine, call 911 just to get a dude to call me back. That's when you're desperate. I'm so desperate. I haven't had sex in nine days. 911. No one will call me back. Like, yeah, it's so ridiculous.

I can do this all day. 911, what is your emergency? Nobody's penetrated me in nine and a half days. Nine and a half days. Okay, but that day, Sunday morning, I was, like, I was worried about Raina because I was thinking that this is a whole day that we need to drink.

She's not okay. She turned it around. She turned it around because she started getting so much attention from guys. I've never seen anything like it. I mean, like, you were wearing a very cute jumper. But, like, your tits are out. They're just always out.

They're large and in charge. Like my mom always says, we haven't plugged in a while. Raina, you could wear a trash bag and people would know that you have dressed. So, what, three separate, like, older married men came up to Raina and complimented her jumpsuit. And she was like, I can't play these guys like my jumpsuit. I'm like, what the fuck? This is not about your jumpsuit. It's about the clothing, I'm wearing.

It's a straight-up compliment of your tits. It's fine. It's fine. But she's sitting there. We had brunch and these guys come up. And I put this on an Instagram story. This guy, he introduced himself to you. He grabbed your hand.

He did not let go. I don't even know. Five minutes. And then they just swarmed. They were everywhere. We left Starboard. We went to another bar. They're just, it was all these just 22-year-old hot tan lifeguards with backward hats were

just obsessing over rain. I felt like a proud mother. Like I've done plenty of, I've done plenty. Yeah, I've done plenty of guys and do it. I'm good. I don't, I've, you know, I've already slept with the whole cast. I've lived in Newy Beach, but I was like, I have spent so much time there. I live there in college. You know, I brought my boyfriend there. I've just, I've done it all. I don't need to be, like, having random hookups in Dewey Beach. I mean, I will, but I felt like a retired player

on the sidelines, like, just watching Raina, like, do you need anything? I get you some water. Do you need any Gatorade? Do you need a phone charger? Like, what can I do for you? Like, I really felt like I was this, like, proud coach. Like, keep your head in the game, Raina. I'm at my head in the game so much that my phone was an ocean of 302 text messages the next day. Every dude that lifeguards on the beach and doing beach was texting me. It was so epic. I didn't really, I wasn't super on a mission to meet dudes, hang out with dudes, hook up with dudes. I mean, I'm there with my family.

Like, all my girlfriends were there. My best friend Corey came out with their kids. The girls were there. It just was so heavy, like, girl time and family time. And by the time you guys all left on Thursday, I was like, I don't even know if I could have the energy to, like, fake an orgasm right now. You know, like, I'm just so spent. Like, I had one guy I was kind of flirting with all week.

That was the guy that... Well, I don't need to save up the energy to fake an orgasm because you know me. I would never let somebody think they were doing a good job if they weren't. I'm just saying. I had no energy. But you did kind of like this one guy. I did. I mean, yeah, we flirted all week.

It's just tricky. Like, he's friends with my brother's friends and my family's around. You know, like, I guess I could have finagled a like situation where we snuck off. But I just was, I don't have energy. I was tired. He was very cute. He was super cute. Nice.

I think in a like a different scenario. I mean, I saw him every single day the vacation and we flirted and I don't know. My mom was into it. She would text me. She was like, he was into your mom.

This comedy show. Okay, let me back up. Let me talk about the difference between Ashley and me flirting with guys. I went for quantity. Whole cast of Dewi Beach Bay Watch. Every lifeguard and Dewee Beach I made out with all of them. Shout out to Zach, Steve.

Max. Max was the hottest. But he did get so drunk. Yeah, he came to that bar and tried to get him to come home with him. I don't think he made out with Alex, but he's such a cutie. Next time, Alex. We'll post a photo of all these guys on our story. Ashley, on the other hand, meets one guy who's actually... Age appropriate. Age appropriate. Tall, cute. All the things. All the things. But he was into Ashley's mom. So I was sitting waiting for Ashley to get up on stage and start her comedy show, and there was a space between me and Ashley's mom. was a seat on either side of me, and he sat next to Ashley's mom. And I kept, Ashley sat down mad to me for talking to him for 30 seconds.

I didn't get mad. I was just like, what's going on here? Because at that point I hadn't decided if I was going to like try to. He was cool. We fought a little bit. I think I'll probably end up seeing him again. I mean, whatever. I don't know.

I had dated so much in New York prior to going there that I was just like, it was girl time, it was friend time, beach time, family time. I just, it wasn't on my, it wasn't my priority. But what if you wanted to extend the relationship? I'm sorry. She kills it with the segues. I know. I'm amazing. It's so good. I know. You're welcome for being your co-host on this podcast. So that's what we're talking about today. How do you turn a vacation, vacation ship into a relationship? Did you just come up with that? Yes. Holy shit. Gosh, you're so good. Oh my gosh. Okay. I think it's really timely for summer. I think lots of people like go on vacations. They meet people. And there's just, you're so good. Oh my gosh. Okay.

Yes. I think it's really timely for summer. I think lots of people like go on vacations. They meet people and there's no reason why you can't come back and prolong that relationship. Or maybe you don't want to. Maybe you just let the person like fade into obscurity, which is great too. And you can. They don't live near you.

Right. What are they going to do? But we've gotten a few messages and questions about this. We've both experienced it. I experienced this pretty recently. And yeah, I mean, I think everybody's dealt with this. some point in their life. You meet someone on vacation. You don't live in the same city and you want to see them again because it's hard to find people you like. So I think that it's always worth considering

pursuing. I think that if you meet somebody that you like, I think why not see where it could go? Yeah. I mean, people meet and date long distance all the time or it depends on where you meet them. Obviously in the scenario, like in Dewey, I'm not going to come back to New York and prolong a relationship with a part-time lifeguard. but there's never been more ways to connect with somebody than there are today. Right, like easier than ever. I mean, just I think the guy we were talking about that I was kind of floated with all week, I got home, realized like he had followed him on Instagram, followed him. You know, we messaged a couple times.

So I think let's talk about kind of how you do it. And I think it could come for the girl. I think it could come from the guy, anybody, whether we're talking to males or females, I feel like if you meet somebody on vacation, I think there's two ways that it can go. I think that you meet and you have like dirty dancing, fall in love, know you're going to keep in touch and plan on it while you're there. And I think there's the other scenario of that you meet somebody, you vibe, you don't really have that talk. And then you go back to your respective cities, places where you live, and you're like, fuck, I kind of want to

see that person again. So my thing is that this is the most low risk situation, like always see where it could go. Like this person doesn't even live near you. You could never see them again. I can hear their name again. They don't know anybody you know. Like 100% always see, always reach out. don't feel weird about it. No, I don't think so. And I think I want to hear your story because you did a really good job of this. I think there's something good examples of what you did in the story. I have never met somebody on vacation, come home and, like, had a kind of relationship with them.

But I've met a few guys while they were on vacation in New York. Right. They went back to their respective cities. And like one person actually dated long term, like long distance, which will do another episode about long distance relationship. But you actually met somebody on vacation and I think did some like really good, right, smart things to prolong it. So I want to talk about what you did. Yeah. I met a guy when I was on a trip. He lived in Miami. I obviously live in New York. And we had a really great time on the trip.

We honestly spent 48 hours together. So really not a ton of time. It wasn't like a whole week long thing. But I liked him. And when he, when we left, when the trip was over, I was definitely like, does this guy, was this just a fling for him? I didn't know. But I knew that I liked him. I kind of wanted to pursue it. So I was just like, I'm just going to keep the lines of communication open. We were texting. We were sending each other memes on Instagram, that kind of thing. And just staying in touch. And I was like, I feel like I like this dude. And I think within within a week, he threw it out. Like, hey, I have tickets to this thing in Miami. You want to come down? And I was like, yeah. And again, like, I, you know, in my 30s, I have the means to do this kind

thing. You know, I always am, I'm a proponent of like when those situations arise, I want to pay for my own flight. I don't want to feel like I owe somebody something when I get down there. And there wasn't really hesitation for me, but even girlfriends I ran it by were like, absolutely go. You're never going to know. And this was ripe for the holidays. So I was like, if I don't go now, the holidays come up, then it's over. Like, it fizzles. Like, that's kind of, I feel like when these things happen, you literally spend two days with somebody in your entire life. They were a stranger before that. Like, you need to see them sooner than later. Forget it. Somebody else comes along. It totally fizzles. So I think I went to,

down there. I think it was the next weekend. Maybe it was two weeks from the time that I met this guy went to Miami. And I want to say this. I stayed with him. I'll say it. We'd already slept together. So this wasn't a weird thing of, oh, God, I don't want to be in this place because I haven't had sex to me. I don't know if I want to. I feel like it was like, what was I going to do? Stay with a friend, stay in a hotel. No, I'd already slept with a guy. I wouldn't spend the week at them. I stayed at this place. But you said something that I want to address before, which is. you went down there saying to yourself, I have the means to do this.

And to me, like what I hear is also, I knew I was going to stay with him. And of course, like, that's normal. You want to be with the person. But you also knew that you had the money to go stay in a hotel if you needed to. And that's the point I really want to make is that if we're talking to the ladies here or the guys,

if you could get someone to come to you, great. I don't know if you want them in your home. That's a whole other thing. But if you are going, and sometimes you can, maybe you're taking a trips elsewhere somewhere else in between where you both live, whatever. If you're going to visit someone where they live, I think you need to be safe about it.

And I think you need to make sure you just have an exit plan and have the means to get out of there or something goes south. So whether that means you have a friend in that city or family, I have tons of friends and family in Miami. But I also make plenty of money and I could stay in a hotel if I need to. I mean, and well, I don't want to jump ahead. But I ended up having to do that when I went down to visit him again. The relationship, I was like, I went down in December and I went down in January and I just got down there. and I was like, this was a mistake. I don't like this guy anymore like this.

And it was a little awkward for me. But I did leave his place. And I went to my friend's place in Miami. So I had the exit plan. I always had it. And worst case, you know, just make sure you have enough money on you if you just have to go and leave. That's a scary thing. If we're talking to some of the girls that may be a little bit younger, you know, when a girl did email, she met a guy at Coachella.

She was 20, 21 years old. Like, should I go visit this guy? It's like, yeah, but make sure you have. the means to get out of there if this goes badly. Yeah, I understand. I love that you want. I think it's like bold and confident and fun and like, who is it going to have a good time in Miami? And you're like, I like this guy.

We've been talking. But I think that you really have to be safe. And I'll tell you, I've walked into that guy's place. I saw something alarming. And I texted my best friend. It was like, keep tabs on me. This guy might murder me. Right.

We're going to talk about what it was in a little bit. We'll talk about it in our next segment. But I think that you have to tell people where you are, who you're with, who the person is. No, you know, it doesn't sound crazy. If you're going to go stay with somebody, make sure you have their address and make sure someone has it. Yeah. A hundred percent. I'm sorry that people might not think of that.

Like, you walk in this guy's place. I mean, I knew I was what part of Miami was in. I don't think I knew his address. And again, like, I, you know, I'm in my 30s, I can take care of myself. like, seriously, that's not weird. Send your best friend this person's address. And I think it makes them accountable too. I went on a date with somebody in Israel who I like met online.

And I was with a girlfriend and I had her come with me to meet him. Yeah. She just walked in the bar, said hello to him and left. But just so that like somebody knew who this person was. Absolutely. It's really important to me. Okay. So then to take it out of like the let's be safe zone,

another thing I love that he did that somebody did to me in terms of like a long distance thing, getting back together is, he said I had tickets to this thing. He gave you a reason to come. It wasn't just like, you know, do you want to come here and see this thing? He threw out like a bold ask and you were like, that sounds awesome. Right. And that made it feel like that he obviously wanted to see me and he had a plan.

It wasn't just like, you want to come fuck, you know, like it was. But I think just go for that bold ask. And if you think you might want to see somebody, I met a guy one time on Tinder. He was in Atlanta. He was in Atlanta and he lived in Austin. Austin. We met late at night. We hung out all night. We really vibed. You know, I went to an hotel, whatever. And the next day, he leaves and he texts me, hey, I'd never been to Austin. He was like, hey, you should come to Austin. Simple as that. I could have been like, sounds good,

and just let it fizzle out. But I was like, no, I like this guy. He was hot. I've never been to Austin. I want to go. And I had a girlfriend there. So I kind of planned a trip to see her stay with her. And I think you can do that. And I actually ended up getting a boyfriend. I didn't see that guy for him, but it's fine. But I think that's an easy way to do it. If you meet a guy that lives in a city where you have a friend, go quote-unquote visit your friend. Concerts, I think, are the best

excuse in the world. Any kind of show festival, I mean, obviously south by southwest in Austin. What happened with you? Was he like, hey, what did he come back here to New York to visit you? Yeah, I met somebody who, I've talked about him a little bit, the long-distance relationship I had in D.C. for quite a while. I met him on vacation in New York,

and he went back and he texted me. He knows, that I like country music. And so he, like, found some concert in New York, which is like, hey, if I come back to New York for this concert, would you be interested in going with me? And he came back to, like, obviously also, like, quote-unquote, visit some friends, but he stayed with me the whole time.

And it was, like, a really nice way to have him there for three days. We had some fun stuff to do. But there's, like, an excuse there. Yeah. So, and I think that you mentioned this before, but it's a bold ask, but the person doesn't live in the same city as you. So if you never see them again, why not ask? Totally.

And I think we were right and I talked about this before. I just like throughout this example that I'll just think of something that maybe you guys talked about when you met when you're on vacation. Maybe you both had a conversation that like you always want to go to Red Rocks. So there is no harm in texting this person and be like, hey, is you up for Red Rocks? And you will get their response will tell you if they want to see you again, I think. I'm just going to say this. One time I met a guy at Hangout Fest. I love this festival, this music festival on the beach.

I was like, that's the love my life. Like I met this guy out. we had the best night ever and we just somehow got separated. Like it's a crazy festival situation at the end of the night. We got separated. Didn't exchange info. I knew his name. I stalked him and found him afterwards because I was like, I love that guy.

He's the one that got away. And I found him. I don't know if that's impressive or scary, both. I'm impressed. I found him on Facebook and I sent him a message and I could tell he wasn't feeling it, which is fine. Maybe he had a girlfriend. Maybe he just, for whatever reason.

but I was like, I feel like I had a connection with this person. I hung out with him one night. Who cares? What do I have to lose? Found this person, messaged him on Facebook, and just his response told me all I need to know. And I forgot about it. Never thought about the guy again until just now.

I love all the things you said. You reached out and you did like the bold, confident thing. You didn't send him a text like everybody sent Lev text messages offering to sit on his face. But just a normal person text message. And you read his response like a confident person. as well. You're like, I don't know what he is going on. And especially on vacations, you don't know if somebody goes back to where they're from,

and maybe they had like somebody they were casually dating. It suddenly got serious. And you'll be able to know from their initial reaction to you. If they're interested or not, and then you move on. Well, let me ask you this because I'm sure this is a question some people will have. I think some people find it tricky of like, do I stay with this person, a stranger, do I not? And I want to hear what you thought when the guy from D.C. came. I felt comfortable staying with that guy in Miami. We actually stayed in a hotel one night too.

We had a kind of a romantic situation there. But I think sometimes girls can be a little hesitant of having a guy that they don't really know coming and staying in their place. And I don't really advise it. I think maybe if you met some guy and you're like, this is it. I just want him in my space. I like this guy so much. I guess that's fine.

But if you're like, ah, this is a stranger. I met him on vacation. Now they want to come visit me. and stay with me. And there's financial situations here too. You're younger, you're older. If a guy is older, he's making money. He shouldn't plan to stay with you.

But sometimes people don't have the means. So I worry sometimes about women that get put in that situation of like, I want to see this guy again, but I don't want him in my apartment for a weekend. So in this particular, I do have advice for this. In my particular situation, first of all, we'd already slept together. So I think that it's always like a little more comfortable when somebody's already been in your home and your space. And inside of you. In your cavern.

He was also friends. We met through a really good friend of mine. So it adds a layer of accountability when they know friends of yours. It's a little less frightening. I mean, one of my best friends is a friend of his. They grew up together. So I wasn't frightened having him stay with me. It just felt like whatever.

But what I would say for girls is I, I would suggest getting a hotel together. I would say, why don't you come? If they don't offer it to get a hotel, I'd be like, why don't we get a hotel? That would be fun. And it is really fun to be in a hotel anyways. Yeah.

They should pay for it, I guess, but you can offer to split it. And that way you have an out if you don't want to stay at the hotel. It's always fun to stay in now, so it's a fun activity anyways just to stay there together. Hotel sex. And the person doesn't need your space. Honestly, I don't find it like super sexy to have somebody in my space.

I don't like it. No, no, no. Absolutely. It was weird when he, and we had a lot of his relationship, but when he first started coming up to stay with me, I don't know that I was like really super ready to have him in my space while I was like getting ready and waking up and looking nasty in the morning. Like we're still in that honeymoon phase where I wanted him to like think I just like poof woke up and looked like a supermodel. Right. So it was weird for me for him to like be there while I was putting on makeup. So I think it could be like a fun hot, like a fun thing to just get a hotel. Yeah. And so I think. Absolutely never hesitate in pursuing this stuff and just go for it. But I think always be prepared that you get there, you get to where he lives, she lives.

They come to you. You meet in between whatever it is. And be prepared that you might not like that person the way that you like them on vacation. But I liked what you did. And I know that you left the situation with him, but I didn't know you very well then. And you had said to me, like, I'm in this situation and I don't know what to do. you left, you removed yourself from the situation, as uncomfortable as that was, as weird as that probably felt to, like, rip the bandit off and be like, I'm out of here, you still didn't.

I think that that's also confident, too, that you said to yourself, I'm here, I don't like it, and I'm leaving. Right. And I'll just, I'll briefly say that because I really do want to hammer this home that you can always leave a situation. And I, I mean, I'm in my 30s. Like, I don't know 10 years ago how I would have handled this. It would have been pretty bad.

I still feel awkward about this situation. But bottom line, you, I went visit this guy. I once really liked him, wasn't in love with him, knew this wasn't like my guy, but I still went back in January because it was cold here. And so I went back to Miami. And I just knew when I got there, I knew when he picked me up at the airport that I was like, this just isn't, this isn't it. And I stayed there Friday night and I felt super uncomfortable. And I was like, you know, I didn't want to have sex of them. I was just really like, I don't want to be here. And so I was like, I can't do this for another night. And so I literally just, we got back. We hung out all day Saturday and we went to this show.

But we got back to his place Saturday night. And I was like, I'm going to be. go and luckily that my I've great friends that were there for me I stayed at their place and there was sense of relief but like you don't have to it doesn't matter and also that's the thing too again that guy didn't that guy didn't pay for my flight like I that guy wasn't he didn't sponsor my trip down there so I still would have left but I I felt even more comfortable leaving and like what it's not like you've spent a bunch of money on me it's not like you flew me down here business class you know I just this is on my time and I don't feel comfortable being here and I'm going to leave I'm just proud of you.

did that. And I think that that's a good message for anything. If you're on a date with somebody that's not being nice to you, if you're with a man that's making you feel sexually uncomfortable, like, in your mind, you're like, what would be worse than staying is actually being honest and saying, like, what I want. But really, like, you should remove yourself from a situation you don't like. Right, exactly. So, but, I mean, to be just on the positive side, I've seen this work a ton of times. And I've seen people, it just always go for it. Like, all, Why not? What's hard to find people you like?

I can reject it all the time. I still go for it. Why not? Rejection is, it's the least amount of rejection you could possibly have a guy that lives across the country or even just lives in a different city. You're never going to see that guy again. You can just like, you don't even have to ever see their social media if you don't want to.

I think it's just like the most low risk, totally go for it situation and see where it could go. But I think, and ideally, like, it's great. That was with Miami and Austin for me and the places that I've had these situations, it's like half other girlfriends there. That's if you, I mean, when I left that guy's place in Miami, I was still in Miami for a few days, seeing my family and my friends. This is a great trip. Right.

So I think that the message is like just in every situation, whether you're on vacation or not, just try. Yeah. You don't know what other people have going on. And it's not some personal attack on you and it doesn't define you of a person's not into you. Right. And I think it can work out and that can be the person you end up with for life or you can kind of happen to me.

I went and visited this guy twice. And I was like, it's not for me. can go either way. So always pursue it. Always pursue it. But he did something that was very strange. Are you segueing amazingly again? Yes.

Are you crushing it today? Yes. I didn't drink last night. We're going to do a new segment today. And I want to talk about what happened with this guy. The segment is called Is This Weird? Is this weird? And we put a call out to our listeners to send us scenarios that you guys have been in.

And we're going to talk about, is it weird? And I'm really excited for this. I think we're going to cover, like, a lot of different topics. Yeah. Which I love those kind of things. When you guys send us messages, we can cover a bunch of stuff. So you guys submitted a ton of is this weird questions. Most of them were sexual fetishes.

So we're going to go through a bunch of them. Yeah, we'll go through a few. Well, to kick it off, why don't we start with a scenario that you were in? And I'll tell you if I think it's weird or not. The situation I was in was that went to someone's place for the first time. and there was an abundance of stuffed animals. Define abundance. At least 20.

Oh, my God. What were they stuffed animals? Six to eight on the bed. Two bears were embracing on the couch. He prop set them up. They were hugging? All right. I want to speed through this.

I hate putting this guy in blast. They were sentimental. I'm not going to get into his story. I understand. I understand why he had them. I think they should have been in the closet or somewhere or just not so many. The sheer amount. And so we walk in and I'm like, oh my God, beautiful apartment overlooking the water.

We walk in and he's like, so what do you want to do? I'm like, go get hammered. So we don't have to come back here and we wait to clear the stuffed animals off the bed. So the teddy bears can watch us fuck? I can't. What? We stayed in a hotel the next night And I tried to block the memory

Were they all stuff animals or were selling them dolls? Oh my God, no dolls. I don't think. Can you imagine? No. But anyway, yes. I think it's weird. Everyone's got their thing. I think I had one girlfriend that didn't think it was weird.

To me, I understand the importance of some sentimental things. A few. They were all over the place. They were everywhere. They were everywhere. Embracing on the couch. That's like a giant elephant on the couch. And then like two teddy bears on the other couch.

Okay. So I say this is weird. Like everywhere I turned, it was like, oh my God. Oh my God. They're all watching me. This is weird. It was weird. It was weird.

It was weird. I was drunk. All right. Hit me with some listener. Okay. I want to read the one that spawned the whole thing. Okay. It's my favorite one ever.

Thank you to this listener that wrote this and created this segment for us. Here she goes. seeing this guy for about a month. I slept over and we're getting ready for work. And during his morning ritual, he takes a bath. He's sitting there with a half chub as I put on mascara. Is this weird? So thank you to you for titling the segment.

She literally writes, Is This Weird? I read this. I was in bed scrolling, laid around and rolled in my bed for 10 minutes, laughing. Like, the way she phrased it is hilarious too. It was a funny person. Half chub while I put on mascara. Oh my gosh. Who baths in the morning?

What kind of time do you have? What is your life? A bath. A bath. What kind of luxury? A morning bath. With a hat. You're just sitting there with a heart on. I love that we get to discuss this because you love baths so much. So like you're the authority on baths. Nobody is more likely to wake up and take a bath than me. But I haven't had a job in years. I have time to wake up and take a bath. No. But it's so inefficient. It's weird. What is your life? I don't even know what I would say to the person. Like I would, I mean, I'm Jewish. So I have something to say about everything. I would probably mock person ruthlessly. I mean, I'd have to know. We would be discussing it the whole time. And usually these things that are weird have a reason behind them. Why you take a bath in the

morning? I'm sorry, if you ask that guy, hey, this is very different human behavior. Can I have an explanation? And he's like, I don't know, just, I'd be like psychopath. Serial killer. A serial killer. A serial killer. It's sitting there in the tub while you're doing your makeup. What are you going to talk about? Do you address the tub and the boner? Okay, so yes, it's weird. Your turn. Okay, we got a lot of DMs about this, a lot. And this, something similar happened to me, and I want to really address this.

Okay. I have an ex-boyfriend who's a little kinky. One day he bought me a dildo. Naturally you think he wants to use it on me, but no, he asked me to use it on him. Is this weird? Is this called pegging? It's called pegging. Pegging is actually when you use a strap on.

It's not like, oh. When you're wearing it, he wants her to put the dildo in his butt. Right. We got a lot of messages about this. So essentially manual pegging. Manual pegging. So years ago somebody asked me to do this, I did a lot of research about it because this guy was like, we're talking about our fantasy.

He's like, I really want you to like use a trap on me. And I liked this guy so much and I was so shocked by this. I'd never heard such a request in my life. So I go online and I'm just like researching like, is he a serial killer basically? The stuff I got back was actually this is one of the number one fantasies in men is to have this happen. I asked a bunch of my girlfriends. I surveyed three girlfriends at dinner that week. All three of them were like, yeah, of course I've done that.

Okay. I wish you guys could see my face right now. What? Okay, a couple things. First of all, ass play for a guy. It's weird. Guys are so different. Like sometimes you get too close to a guy's butt and he freaks out.

Other guys want dildos in their butts? This is crazy to me. Yes. So some girls are like, does this make him gay? And ass play is not the same as pegging. So a lot of guys like a finger in the ass. Or like a salad toss, whatever. Right.

Because well, guys have a G spot. We all have a G spot. It feels good. Well, guys like really have a G spot in their butt. It feels good though. Okay, keep going. Okay, but men have like a clit in their butt. There it is.

There's the opener. Okay. But they do. But the sexual fantasy of having like A Thosexual fantasy of having like a thumb in your ass While you're getting a blowjob Is not the same thing as wanting somebody to like Strap one on and fuck you

But a lot of guys are very into this Like I've had several guys asked me to do this now I've had several guys be in it We got a ton of DMs about it Okay I think that there's not like one particular kind of guy Do you know more about it? Why they like it? It's a dominance thing

So I mean yes You don't use the same size Dildo to like do that, to peg a guy, as you would on like a girl. I'm just trying to, I'm trying to picture it logistically. I don't know that I could do it without giggling. Are you just kind of like, uh, uh, uh, uh, well, you're wearing, you're wearing the strap on. The strap on, but this is the dildo, or is it you're holding your hand, right? Or, you wanted, this guy wanted a dildo, but you use something smaller to, like, peg a guy.

That's why it's called pegging, peg, a peg. Anyways, there's a lot to, like, unpack on this one, but it's a lot about, like, dominance. And I don't think it's... And probably just feeling good, right? Mm-hmm. Like, they're like, well, I got a clit in my butt, so put it up there. Right. All right.

Ashley's so uncomfortable. No, I just have an experience. I'm sure it's going to happen. It's going to happen eventually. We have my 20-year-old intern in the... I'm so quiet and cute. Has anybody ever asked you with something in their butt? Not yet.

She says not yet. Now I feel like it's going to happen. It could happen to you. But I'm more than 10-year-old. or that you haven't happened to me yet. But now that we've talked about it, like, it's going to happen. Totally. It's going to happen all of us, like, this weekend.

Get ready. Get ready, Leah. She's like, Raina, I can't work for you anymore. Okay. Okay. Anyways. All right, so what's your consensus? Not weird.

I mean, I don't think it's that weird. I think it's a lot more common than you think. I think all, there's not a man on earth that wouldn't be like, that's, that wouldn't claim that that's like, that makes them gay. And it doesn't make you gay. Right. You're not being, it's not man. doing it to you. It doesn't make you gay. Okay, so no, it doesn't make him a total freak. It is

common, but if you, again, don't do anything that you don't feel comfortable with. Love that message. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with. I want to read the most shocking one of all. Sorry, most upsetting. Not just most, I feel personally victimized by it. Okay. And this goes into visiting somebody as well, kind of ties back into our topic. I visited my hookup buddy for a long weekend and he refused to feed me. Refused as in all caps. Legit wouldn't let me eat for three days. I had to sneak downstairs in the middle of the night and find food.

Am I needy or was that fucking weird? What? First of all, I can't even believe the girl said, am I needy? What? Because you want to survive? What? Because you want to leave this vacation alive. Ladies, girls,

Right and Ashley, I don't want to starve to death. Am I needy? Or what? Yes, this is so weird. I mean, I need more details, obviously, but just right off the bat, this is such bizarre behavior. Usually, you visit somebody, a guy, a friend, family, and you plan to go out to eat. That's, like, one of the activities that you actually do. It's the only activity that I do.

Right. Or, like, you order, if you're staying in, you're just fucking the whole weekend because she said hookup, buddy, you're ordering pizza. This is so crazy to me. I don't understand. This is never talking. to that person again. Yeah, I'd have to understand the scenarios, like, ask some questions, and I think that some people are super crazy about, like, health and what they eat, and you definitely have to be exactly that if you're going to date that person. But this just sounds like somebody who is

oddly controlling. Right. Don't be with that guy. This is one paragraph. He refused to feed me. There's a lot to unpack there. We don't know all the details, but, like, immediate reaction is like, oh, my God, get the fuck out of there. Right. This girl, I mean, I can't say it enough, so thin. Right. Looks great. I cannot imagine somebody being like, you know what? You look like you could skip a few. Which is so fucked up also.

Like also, girls, if you are on the heavier side and a guy doesn't let you eat, also fuck that guy too. That's terrible. Right. There's never a good scenario for this. Okay. I got a good one. I think it was really interesting.

My ex is grossed out by his own cum. Refuses to touch it or help clean it up. Is this weird? The guy can't touch his own cum. Is that what you said? Sorry, I was looking at my phone trying to find my next one. Yes, that's fucking weird. I'm sorry.

Came on your own body? Like, I don't care about anything comes on my own body. Like, I'll, not that I go camping, but let's say if I were to piss all over myself, I'd be like, well, it's my own piss. Like, you know, like, I don't care. Like, if I pee a little bit on myself in, like, a bathroom that's hard, like, hard to maneuver. I'm like, well, whatever. What are going to do?

I've never met any. Most guys are the opposite. They're, like, obsessed with their own. They, like, exfoliate with it on their face. On your face. It's supposed to be anti-aging. They just love to splatter it everywhere, like confetti. He doesn't want his own come.

I'll take it. I heard it's great for your under eyes. It does wonders for your wrinkles. People really have, like, a confettish. He's got-tox. This is episode about... What is it's on? It's for stay-on-topic.

I don't know. I'm just not shy, and I'm always down to ask somebody. I'm just the opposite way. Like, I, crazy. I just, I can't, I'm, Jesus Christ. I like him. I like it. I was drunk.

Whatever, like, I like when somebody talks about it and how much there's going to be in it. I like that. So, does this guy have, like, a total cum phobia? What's the deal? Like, I think that's, I think this is weird. I also think, like, you need to ask and see if it's something you can put up with or not. Yeah. It would sort of skeat me out if somebody was, like, not comfortable with their body like that.

Also, to me, it just seems like somebody who's like sort of learning about their body. Probably a name for it. I'll Google it. Anyways, it's odd to me. Yeah. It would make me uncomfortable. Do you want me to do a special one?

Yeah. From an ex. Of mine. Sure. The email says, Thanks for the submission. Okay. First time caller, long time secret listener.

So I had an ex in college who could only get off by dry pumping. I didn't think it was weird at the time because I was actually a virgin for most of college and not as well-traveled or experience as you two flusies. Anyway, the dry-humping wasn't the worst part. She had a very specific way it had to be done, which would involve her wearing jeans and me wearing some sort of pants or shorts with some thickness. So every time we would hook up, we'd have to change into clothes

instead of out of clothes. Like her seduction method was to whisper, let's slip into something a little less comfortable. And then would come back all horned up in a pair of mud jeans she's had since middle school. Is that weird? Could only get off by dry humping in jeans. I'm like,

plot twist. It was me. I'm just kidding. I'm totally kidding. It was, it was Ashley. No. Okay, I want to impact two things about this.

The first being, I don't think that it's crazy that somebody does get off from dry humping because like I kind of like that feeling when you're like dry humping. You're like all that friction. Let's figure out. Let's talk what's happening here. The feeling is that her jeans are like rubbing up against her clit and that's what helps her get off.

Right. Which I, I mean, we've definitely all been there. I've definitely gotten off that way before. But the fact that she needs to put on the clothes, to me is somebody that's just like not comfortable enough to like, you can achieve the same desired effect, like clitoral stimulation without putting clothing on. But it sounds like she was just young and didn't know how to Right. Well, I feel like you need to figure this out with your partner. I'm so, I don't know. again, this is something that I've slept with.

He figured out what clitoris were somewhere along the way. Maybe he didn't know back then. Wouldn't be surprised. But yeah, I feel like that's something. If you're needing to put on jeans and dry hump to get off, like you need to discuss that with your partner. And like the clothing to me is the weirdest part of this. You had to put clothing on.

Like I've definitely gotten off like that. But that, I mean, to me that's crazy. So yes, that's weird. Denim dry humpers. Okay, so do you want to wrap up with one final one? I think I know which one it's going to be. Yeah, I'm really excited. This one is so insane.

This one is actually insane. We got a lot of, you know, you think dry humming in jeans is crazy. Wait till this next one. I'm going to hit you with this one. We got a lot of really interesting sex ones, and we're going to keep doing this segment. So if we didn't mention it, say we will.

But this is not a sex one. Okay. This guy where I went on a couple of date with kept trying to get me to join his cult. Yes. Next question. He was charming and cute and found me on Facebook. This is your first problem.

He went out with somebody who found you on Facebook. He messaged me and we went on a couple dates. He has this story he would share about his cult every time. We would go on a date. So he mentions the cult on the first date and she goes on another date with him. Things would be normal and then he would eventually tell me the same scripted story about the cult. I love that she wrote in. But come on, girl.

Yeah, it's fucking weird. Get the fuck out of there. What? Unless you're into the... Unless you want to join a call. Maybe that's for some people. Brought up the cult on the first story. That's so bold.

The first date. And then she was like, you know what? This seems like someone I want to go on a second date with. And she's like, you know, by the fifth date, he's like, he's bringing up the cult. It's so crazy. This guy must have been hot. That's all I'm going to say. We always say it's not weird if you're hot.

It's true. Being in a cult is not weird. What if he's hot and everyone else in the cult looks like him and then you just get to like fuck the whole cult? Yeah. Wait, should we join a cult? Hit us up, guys. I mean, all people do in cult is have sex, I swear to God, I watch a lot of cult documentaries. The one, the main one.

The main one. The main cult? What's the premier cult? Social media. The one in Oregon. Yeah. I forget what it was called. A wild, wild America.

Wild wild something. Oh, wild wild. Whatever. I'm obsessed with cult documentaries, so I wouldn't hate being in a cult for a little while, especially when you use, like, smoke opium and have sex. I really do see you continuing to date that guy. Like, I don't see if I just, I don't see you joining the cult, but you do love cult talk so much.

Like, I feel like you're like, I got to keep learning about the cult. I'm not going to join. What a blue, what I'm in a blue ball guy? You like keep going out with them and trying to get more info on the cold and you never join. It's like an ultimate blue ball. He's like, I got a member, and you're like, I'm sorry, I just wanted to hear more about it. I'm obsessed with cults, and there's a lot of scenarios. Is this weird?

Someone writes in, I went on a day with this girl who's obsessed with the cults. Is this weird? I told some guy I was obsessed with Law & Order SVU, and he, never mind, the story's going nowhere. It's not important. I do want to wrap up by just saying, you know, thank you to everybody, and we will hang on to these. But we got tons of submissions about weird sexual fetishes. I don't even say weird, just sexual fetishes and is this weird? And also just about body things.

Like I'm ashamed of this part of my body or don't love this. And the message I do what I said is that nothing is weird, as long as you're in like a healthy, safe space, everybody has fetishes and things they want to try out. Nothing's weird, right? Yeah, I mean, I think there's a lot of layers to that. It's how soon does someone bring something up, you know? I've definitely had guys say things that they're into way too early.

I love that point. You know, it's, but maybe they're so into it that it's a not, it's a deal breaker. So they're like, I want to see if this girl's into this weird freaky shit up top so I don't waste my time. Whatever. But that's a whole other topic, I guess. Like, when do you introduce these weird things in a relationship? But to me, that's like, that's the difference between is this weird and like, where's the boundary? Because I had somebody on a second date say to me like, I'm into some kind of crazy shit.

Right. He didn't like really, he alluded to what it was. He did say like up top. We hadn't slept together. And he was like, I'm just, I'm into some like, dominant. kind of stuff. And I was like, you know, at least they let me know, but it's not like, you know, I went out with a guy on a date and you go home with them the first date. They're like trying to do all this stuff. To me, that's like a weird boundary thing. Right. But yeah, it's ultimately like,

maybe it's untraditional. But yeah, if you're into it, you feel comfortable with it. It's not weird? If you're all fucking weird, we're just trying to find someone on the same level of weird. If you have a furry fetish. Raina is foreshadowing. We'll talk about it later. Don't have a furry fetish. A little bit of, I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. very better. Oh my God. Okay. So anyway, we want you guys. We did solicit you, solicit your stories via DM this time, but we would really appreciate it if you guys want to submit more to this to email us. Hello at Girls Gotepadcast.com. Subject line is this weird. So that'll make it easy for us to filter them. We get a little backed up on DMs. We try to respond to them all. But if you guys, email, subject line is this weird? Love it. Okay. In closing, we want to tell you guys, there's a couple things we want to promote and let you know. We have our very first live show coming up, September 12th. And Carolines.

Caroline's on Broadway. Ashley has performed there before. It's the first big comedy club I ever performed at Carolines and Broadway. It just means it's so special to me because of that. And it's where we're doing our first live show. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I have never done a live show and this venue holds 300 people.

It's fine. I'll be fine. If we sell out Carolines, I told Ray and I don't need a wedding. Like, that's it. We're all set. Best night of our lives. I keep referring to this as our wedding. You guys can get the tickets online at Caroline's.

We'll do links. We'll, we're not, I mean, you'll find the fucking show. We're going to be promoting the shit out of it. But we're really excited. We hope to see you guys all there. We're going to do more of these if this does well. So it is your job to buy tickets to this and come. But this is the first one.

We have so much fun stuff planned Wednesday, September 12th. Probably looking at 8 p.m. But regardless, it'll be on Caroline's website, but also we'll have the ticket links as well. So we're going to sell some VIP, a limited amount of VIP, which will include a meet-and-gray with us and stuff like that. So, but we have a, we have a feeling. Tickets are going to go quick. So get them while they're hot.

I can't wait. I'm so excited. Anyways, guys, thank you so much for listening. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter. Girls Got to Eat Podcast. Subscribe, rate and review on iTunes. I better see 19,000 reviews come out. Today.

19,000. Just click the button, leave us a rating. Please keep putting us in your stories, guys. It's amazing. Let your friends know that you found the coolest podcast on earth. That's it. See next week. Have a great week, guys. Bye.