Girls Gotta Eat - Can You Turn Around a Toxic Relationship? with Chris Distefano

Episode Date: November 7, 2022

Our fave Chrissy D/Chrissy Chaos/Chrissy Daytime is back for his third GGE appearance, and opening up about everything that's changed in his life, and how his (formerly tumultuous) relationship has done a 180. We talk about bombing on daytime TV, why he got off social media and the effect it's had on his relationships and career, butt stuff, and we answer some "Is This Weird?" submissions. Before Chris joins us, we're discussing Ashley's move for when you get ghosted, Rayna's secret stepfamily, and Tell Me Lies. Hope you enjoy! Follow Chris on Instagram @chrisdcomedy, listen to Chrissy Chaos and Hey Babe!, watch his Netflix special Speshy Weshy, and see more at his website. Follow us @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit our website for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Shop Vibes Only. Thank you to our partners this week: Hello Fresh: Go to hellofresh.com/gge65 and use code GGE65 for 65% off plus free shipping. Buffy: For $20 off your order visit buffy.co and enter promo code GGE. Nutrafol: Get $15 off at nutrafol.com when you use promo code GGE15. Native: Get 40% off your first three-pack of Native body wash at nativedeo.com/ggedeo or use promo code GGEDEO at checkout. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And then I went out there and I just started swinging for the fences with jokes. Chris, the way people react to you, they just look at the ground. They don't even know what to do. Episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome back. Our favorite month is over. I'm sad. But I've been having a great fall.

It's been a good fall. We've been here a lot. We've been talking shit about New York as much. I know. Midterm election week, everybody. Welcome. Let's just kick it off. Let's cross this off the list.

Of all the things we have to discuss today, make sure that you are voting. You can probably vote today. On the seventh, tomorrow is a midterm election day. We've told you. Make sure you're registered. Make sure you know who you're voting for where they stand on issues that are important to you. You know what's important to us. And get out there and vote.

The show is tag us in your voting stories with your stickers. Only if you do the right thing, though. Two stickers. One on each nipple. One each titty. So yeah, get out there, girls. And, you know, the couple boys that listen and everybody. Get out there.

Yeah. Azul, you coming up? And I've just remembered that if you guys do do Instagram stories, we have a Girls Got a Vote GIF. Oh, yeah. So we'd made that a couple years ago. So get in there with our Girls Got a Vote Gif and show us that you guys are doing your part.

Of course, there's tons of gifts in there, one that says more Azul's friend. People who love to use that one all the time. Which I respect it. I think it's adorable. And watch on YouTube, subscribe on YouTube. And I also wanted to say,

if you're watching on YouTube, there are some fun extras. There's like some random I may not watch the YouTube. I don't know. Do you watch the YouTube? I watch the YouTube. I love it. And I like to play in the background.

In the evenings, you're always like, I never know what you do at night. You watch our YouTube. I don't know what she's doing out there. So we do have this incredible video editor, Anna. She's in the room right now. And she's really been spicing things up.

So last week I talked about the dog costume contest. We put dogs and costumes in there. She added this fun little Taylor Swift thing. So it's a fun experience to watch it. Again, if that's not what you're into, don't do it. But letting you know, that there is like extras in the YouTube.

I saw an Instagram story this week of somebody. You put it on our story. This girl, this whole spread, which that's what people would do when they would like watch our live shows at home that we're streaming. And I just love the idea that people make like girls got to eat themed snacks, and invite their friends over.

And it's just like an additional fun way to spend time with us. So thanks for supporting the YouTube guys. We love doing it. I think that's a fun thing to do. It's like if you don't do like Bachelor nights, the girls got to eat, watch our episode night. You're tired of The Bachelor, you guys. Just watch us.

And then we have a lot of stuff. coming up. So Ashley's on tour and then we are on tour. So we released our Snack City tour that starts in February. We can't wait to see you guys there. And you've just snatched up so many tickets and the shows are so much fun. So wild. It's such a blast. So please come with your friends. Your significant others come by yourself. And we'll just tell you the cities where you can grab tickets at Girls Gotty Podcast.com. Yes. Salt Lake City, Denver, Phoenix, Tampa, Orlando, Miami, Sacramento, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, New Haven, Chicago, Philadelphia, D.C., Boston, Cleveland, Columbus, and Cincinnati. Those are all in 2023, so you can check those dates if you want to come

to those cities. Oh, and one thing I'm going to say, don't be as scared of the cheap seats, because I will tell you that Raina and I really do choose theaters based on where we feel like every seat is a good seat. Like, we have turned down theaters where we're like, that's not for us. We did this theater, not going to name you names years ago, and the balcony started behind the floor seats. It was just like, people were so far away. So when we choose these theaters, I mean, sometimes there's only like one or two options

for the size that we need, but we really do think about this stuff. And like, yes, the Chicago theater is huge. But the way it's set up is like, there really is not a bad seat in the house. So if you're like, I don't know, I wanted to be up close. Now there's just balcony seats left.

We're most likely not going to add second shows for really any of these, maybe one, but really not. So just don't be scared of those. You're still going to have a great. experience. We do tons of crazy stuff on stage. You'll be able to see it. We'll shoot the t-shirts up in the rafters. And so I just wanted to say that. Just snag the cheap seats. I agree. We do work really hard to look at the layouts before we book theaters. And we work really hard to involve as many audience members as possible. So we want to be able to get to you and hear from you. So yeah,

come out. We can't wait to see you guys. And then you're on tour as well. I am going back on tour. Right now as we record, this will have passed, but I'm going to Denver this weekend. This will air after I'm there, but I'm headed there. I have four sold-out shows in Denver at Comedy Works, Best Comedy Club, and I'm just so excited and so honored that all these people bought tickets, and then they're scooping up our... Denver's our favorite city right now. I'm just going to say it. They're coming to my show. They're coming to the girls got to each show. They're scooping those tickets up. So they're hot right now, and I love doing stand-up in Denver so much. So have those shows. I'm so excited. And then the following week, which would be this week now, if you're listening,

I'm going to Nashville, which is so excited. Sold-out show. at Zanies. We love Zanies. Our third show ever. Our third show ever. So we love it. It's really special. And then our fourth show ever was Atlanta. No, New York, Atlanta, Nashville. Whatever. It was up there. It's really such an important city to us. And I lived there for 10 years. I'm literally wearing a sweater right now that says Atlanta.

So I have the show in Atlanta on Sunday, November 13th. And there should be some tickets left. You guys can check. My site is AshHass.com. It's a link in my bio and Instagram too. But I've been on my first solo tour this year. So I started in June. I did a ton of shows. June. I did shows in August and now I'm doing these shows in November. In Atlanta is the last stop of my tour. I don't know when I'll be doing a solo tour again and it's the theater. It's at the variety playhouse. It means so much to me. Again, that's where I started doing

comedy. I live there for 10 years and I'm just so excited to end it there. If you guys are curious, it is, and you want to get tickets and you think it has something to do with the festival passes. It's just a regular show. It is part of the Red Clay Comedy Festival, but it's just a regular show. So just get tickets. They're affordable. If there are any left at this point, and again, yeah, not like you need a festival pass or anything. I think some people were confused. But yeah, I'm really excited to end the tour there. I love Atlanta so much. And that will be my, the end of my personal tour before we start back out on the girls got to eat tour. Yes, and we probably won't be there until the fall next year. I mean, I know we won't. So if you're

looking to see us, go see Ashley. Yeah, I have some never before told Atlanta stories. I'm going have Atlanta only pre-show playlist. I have special openers. It's going to be lit. Oh, I'm excited for you. So yeah, you can get all those tickets. We can't wait to see you. So we have not been on tour. So it's been a little frustrating for me because I don't have an excuse to get out of social plans anymore. And I've really enjoyed not having to go out on Halloween for the last three to four years. I don't go out the night before tour. I don't go out the night after we get back from tour. So I really don't have to do a lot of stuff.

But since we have not been on tour, I've had to do all the stuff. And I am really kind of enjoying New York right now. Not Halloween. I hated going out on Halloween. But otherwise, I'm enjoying being here. We're doing a lot of stuff lately. New York in the fall, like just specifically October, is just elite. It's the best month in the world in a place.

I love it so much. Like fall in New York is really so special. But yeah, this is like the most I've been here. I'm just loving it. I did have fun on Halloween. I know you didn't really love it. But I had fun like dressing up. I dressed up his share from Clueless.

And the day before we did Meryl's birthday. We did this hot tub boat, which we've done before. Take like a hot tub out and go around New York City or the Statue Liberty. It's through this company called See the City. You guys can also jet ski with them. And then I've just like some really fun girls dinners. So we've been in town. and been able to set up our dinners.

And I've just been having so much fun with my girlfriends. I just feel like it fills my cup like nothing else. Uh-huh. I was starting to feel maybe about a month ago, like I'm going to commit to dating. I really want to do it. I really want to do it. I really want to do it.

And in this last month, I really feel like my cup is full. I was with a girlfriend. I was having lunch on Sunday. I know, excuse me that phrase and it's like so corny. But it's how I feel. It's the way I feel. Yeah.

So I was out with a girlfriend on Sunday. I feel like people that are in relationships, see people that are not in relationships. And they want to like figure you out. And they're like, but she's not in a relationship. She must be unhappy. She must want this in her life. And so my girlfriend that was on Sunday was asking me some just mining questions about

my life and how I see it. And she doesn't judge me for being single. She couldn't care last. But she was like, but what are you looking for? And I was like, I don't know. I feel really happy at the end of the day. I feel like I've been like making all these social plans of my friends. I'm taking advantage of living in New York.

I feel like we're really busy. And at the end of the day, I'm going to say this in the podcast before. I don't know that I have a lot to give another person right now. Like my ideal life at the moment would be that I have a couple of people to go out with some of the time. And I'm having not completely casual sex, but like pretty casual. I love this.

I feel like being here more often has just, yeah, I feel like I'm really fulfilled emotionally. I can pick up the phone. I can call my girlfriends if I really need something. I socially am really enjoying myself. And I've always said if somebody fits into that, that's great. But I haven't been craving it as much lately. And I do think it's because we've been like committing to doing more stuff.

Yeah. I mean, I feel like I've always felt like that, that everything's great. I feel fulfilled all the time. I feel like super happy and feel like I've so much. like love in my life and guys come in and out and, you know, I had a slutty summer and I have, you know, dates here and there. But it just, it's also just like, yes, if the right person comes along, great, I'm open to it. But otherwise, I just don't feel, sometimes you feel like

dealing with the stress. I mean, I can't tell you guys how many emails and, you know, even just being on social media, being on TikTok, like, it's rough out there. Like, don't beat yourself up if you fucking hate it. Like, I got this email from this girl. I think she said she's been in like 50 dates. Nobody wants to commit. She's like, what are guys doing? Like, what are they doing? What do they want? Like, why are they dating if they don't want to date somebody? Like, again, if you're in a happy, healthy relationship, first of all, hold on to it. Never let go. But it can be really brutal. And I just want to validate it that if you don't feel like doing it, just don't do it. Just lean into other stuff. Have fun with your girlfriends. Go on a hot tub boat around the city.

Get a dog. Like, whatever you want to do. Focus on work. I don't know. Your hobbies. Like, This is like beating a dead horse at this point in the podcast. You guys know where we stand. But I just was like going through emails last night and was like, these are horror stories. Not the one about like just dating. But this girl is so frustrated. She's like,

I'm committed. I'm going out. I'm doing all the things. And like no one wants to commit. Everyone's just fucking around. And I'm not saying that that's everyone's story. But reading so many back to back, I was like, fuck this.

Just take a break if you don't like it. It doesn't feel like fun to you. If somebody is not going to be more fun than sitting on your couch, then sit your ass on the couch, you know? My girl that was asking me this was like, but don't you want to like go out and find somebody? And I was like, I've had a great day. I woke up this morning. I had a quick 20 minute workout.

I had a great breakfast. I took a walk with her for like five miles. We had a great Italian late lunch. And I like really felt fulfilled. I texted with you a lot that evening. I was like joking around. I like really, you and I were being so funny that night. I watched the new White Lotus, which we'll talk about.

I like went to bed at the end of that night just feeling like. And then I masturbated. So I really felt like what a fulfilling day. There is nothing about that day I would give up to go sit at a bar with a stranger. I don't want to do it. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot to be said for like someone that you're in a great relationship with

or someone that you're like really excited about. Oh, yeah. But if you're like, I don't want to go on this day with a stranger, don't fucking go. So we have an episode today with Chris DeStefano, his third appearance on the podcast. We adore him. It's so fun.

We just recorded with him and now we're backing up to do this intro. We just want to say like one thing. He has a very interesting story about his, partner and her complications, I guess, with her breast implants. And he speaks on it. And I think it was like a fascinating story to listen to. We just wanted to go ahead and give a disclaimer up top that Chris is not a medical professional, nor does he claim to be. And everybody's body is so wildly different. And so people might hear this and be like, wow, I feel so seen or people might listen to it and be like, that's not my truth. And it's like, that's fine too. And if you ever have any

issues with your body or the way you feel or you think that something could be going on with your body that you should just talk to your doctor, talk to a medical professional, or we just want to say that we know you guys are smart and you get it. But if anything comes up that's kind of medical related, we just wanted to give a little disclaimer. Thank you for doing that. Yeah. I have something medical to talk about. So I just want to read you guys this text that I got for my mom. It involves a listener. So she's so funny. My stepdad had some medical complications. He's in the hospital and he's going to be fine. So I think it's okay to joke about this now. But my mom was sending me like very long text messages about like what's going on and they're at the ER and it was like

some pretty serious shit. She's sending me long text messages about like what's going on. And then I get this really long text message. She's being like very chill about this. She's like been at the ER for days in and out. Like she's just being so like, well, you know, she's talking about the candy she's going to hand out for Halloween. I'm like, don't you have her stuff on your mind? And she sent me this text message and it's very long. So you see something that long and you're like, oh my God, he died. Yeah. And it's. photo of my mom. It's a selfie of her and a young girl. And she says, I want to change this girl's name to Jessica. Someone named Jessica, who is an ICU nurse. And then she writes in parentheses,

maybe. Like, allegedly, she said, allegedly. Are you at the hospital mom? Like, what else would she do there? She lives a few doors away from me. She said that she's a big fan of yours. And she said that she messaged you a lot of times and you never answered her because you probably think she's some kind of weirdo. And she said that when you're in Pittsburgh the last time, she messed you. And she said that you guys could have coffee. And she lives down the street from us. And she thinks that maybe you didn't answer because you thought that she wasn't serious. But anyways, she's originally from New Jersey. She lives here, but she's getting married in New York next Saturday. Bitch, what? Are you busy? Yeah. I mean, but listen, in your mom's defense, a lot of time in the hospital

is just waiting around. You're bored. You're making friends. Your mom's taking selfies. Like, what else is she doing? Can you imagine, like, taking selfies with the nurses when your husband is in the ER? It just really made me laugh. And I love our listeners so much. She gave my mom so much information. she lives, where she's getting married, how many times she's messaged me. She must think I'm really weird. I invited her for a coffee. And I didn't actually, your mom's like, I actually invited her to Thanksgiving. I've made you a new friend. Like, you don't have enough.

My mom's like, that's so rude that she didn't message you back. I'll make sure she has a coffee with you. That is so, yes. Like, your mom is no concept of like, you know, full DMs and getting a lot of messages. And it's just very funny. It was cute. She would be like, Raina, this girl said you didn't message her back. So I'm setting you guys up.

Here's a selfie. And I'm trying to say this in a nice way to her. Allegedly she's a nurse. Like I like that my mom's still like chucked to dig in there just in case. I love that she's like trying to like broker this coffee date for me. And I'm trying to think of a nice way to explain to her. Like a lot of our listeners ask us if we'll meet up for coffee. I would have no time in the day.

So I like can't do it. I just thought it was a really adorable older person way to be in the hospital. So I thought that was cute. So if you see any of our parents, you can take selfies with them. and harass them about coming to lunch with us. I can share a hospital story. I just have to say that, like, so we, again, I talked about last week, my brother and his wife had a baby.

And when Matt described when it's go time for labor, I was like hype. I was like, this hype video needs to be made. He was like, it's crazy. He's a lot of hype video. Everybody's coming in. Everybody's getting their gear on. Everybody's like, it's time to go. He like played it out.

Like my brother and I are very similar in the way of how much we love hype videos and like all kinds of stuff right now. And specifically like Philly Sports Hype Videos. Philly sports, yeah, but the way he described, I mean, this is Matt's first child. He's never been in delivery rooms. For him, it was so crazy. And the way he described it was so funny, it was like, where is the like giving labor hype video that we need? I never thought about it, but if anybody's family, it would be you.

It's such an intense moment. And everybody's like, it's time. Let's go. It's okay, go. It was just funny. The way he described, he was like, I was hype. That is, I can feel the energy. I know.

I know. I can feel like the music. Grab her leg, you know. I really want this. But you guys are such a big hype video. We'll make the first ever labor hype video. Ashley has been specifically sending me Philly Sports Hype videos for years. Well, I don't follow a lot of sports teams on Instagram.

So I do follow, obviously, I follow the Eagles there. Instagram is really, they really stepped it up on their social media. I love seeing all their game day looks and like all the hype videos. And there was this incredible Phillies one. I don't know what's going on at, like by the time this comes out. but we're in the World Series, and there was this insane hype video that just gave me chills.

I watched like 10 times. So, yeah, that's one of the ways my brother and I bond. But we literally send memes and reels back all day. You're so lucky. I have to get in there because I'll have three reels for Matt, and he does need me to react to everyone. Like, he'll be like, what did you think of that one about that dog? I'm like, Matt, it was the first one of the five that you said.

It's this weird thing. It's this behavior that I want that I don't emulate. Like, it really does hurt my feelings when other people, people don't respond to like the reels that I send them. But I do that. I'll watch three and just I will personally digest them and I don't respond. Mentally respond. I mean, I'm the same way.

Like, he's like, I saw this that made me think of you. I would like a response. I'm the same way. I mean, I send him memes all too. I know you're really lucky. My brother's not on Instagram. He won't do it. Not at all.

Not at all. I feel like this is like hearing about you not having a pedicure. I didn't know this. He's not at all. I mean, he... Did I know this? I don't know. I don't speak about it very often.

I told my friend the other day that I have three stepbrothers and she was like, I feel like I don't know you at all. Yeah, you do have a secret step family. Didn't you hook up with one of them? Okay, this is one time I was in a hot tub with one of them now.

Wait, are you being serious? Yeah. Do you guys touch? No. But I mean, I was like 19 and I did cross my mind like maybe. Is he hot? He was hot. Why did you do it?

This is your fantasy. This is your king. Why did I do it? I don't know. Was he like giving you the vibes? Wait, you were 19. How old was he? He is the hot one is like five years older than me.

Oh my God. Some hot 24 year old. Did you know at that point you were into step porn? I hate this so much. Anna, don't cut this. But you love step porn now and you have been the curator of our step stories within the Vibes Only app. Guys check out the Vibes Only app.

But there's not that much in there. But there's, if that's your kinky, You're into it. No shame on this end. But did you know, is that what started? It was that hot tub? No. I can't.

We're talking about this. Well, their dad's in the hospital. Sorry, Chip. I've done enough for Chip. I'm already going to be my pants. Like that one time, you know, and you're wearing booty shorts bending over. Yeah, I was basically wearing lingerie.

And he watched me make a sandwich. I've done enough. You don't understand. On Sunday I had a conversation with myself that I was not going to talk about this on the podcast. What? Your stepbrother? Not a thing. I said stepbrothers and Emily was like, she did a double take.

She's like, I feel like I don't even know you. And then she asked if they were hot. And I was like, what are the things? You know, I have like a weird memory for some things of like when I, I remember specifically talking about your secret step family in the car in Chicago. I remember we were driving down, like, Michigan Avenue. I just remember being in the car. I think this was in 2019.

Okay. When we did the holiday shows there in 2019, I just vaguely remember hearing about them and like, you know, not this. This is the first I'm hearing about the jacuzzi. It was like Thanksgiving. We were in the other banks. We're on vacation as a family. I didn't grow up with them.

They lived with their mom. They were like not a part of our lives at all. So it wasn't like a brother that was in the home. And they're all married now. All right. We'll get well soon, Chip. Yeah, I was into step-parent, sub-family, porn.

For a long time, I thought there was really something super fucked up about that. But I discovered that young, like 14. Well, throw back to my Halloween costume, Cher Horowitz. She was the first person to normalize being into your step family. Totally. I mean, her and Josh were ex-stepbrother, step-sister. But I feel like that made people be like, oh, that's all right. We're not really related.

We didn't grow up together. Like, we were never in the same husband. home to you. There's one vacation together probably our whole lives. It's kind of crazy that like there is a world in which there is this like person that could be your age that you are not related to at all. That's just around. Like

if they're hot, like what? Right. I was looking at this TikTok that Teresa Jules did with her like stepkids and she's like remarried and he has like a hot son and she is beautiful daughters. And I was thinking like what's going on in the house? Because like pheromones are flying. I didn't grow up with you people. I don't.

didn't meet them. They were in high school when I met them. They were like my childhood, like, siblings. Yeah. Guys, we are going to talk about a couple of wrecks. We're going to talk about the Tell Me Lies finale. We know you are dying for it. We should do it out last week because we watched this weeks ago.

Not to brag. Yeah. We had the screeners really early. But we wanted to just give a quick wreck for a podcast that we were on. We were recently on Drew Barrymore's podcast. So we went and met her. We went to the studio. It was an incredible, surreal experience.

both of us have just been fans of her since we were kids. My whole life since E.T. Yeah. So she was the kindest human. People were like, if she really like that, it's like, yeah, it was unreal experience. And more from somebody who is really ultimately had like a lifelong career is one of the most famous people alive.

And she couldn't have been warmer and more kind. And we talked to her about ghosting and some other stuff. It really was a lot of fun. So it's a great episode. Yeah. So we did want to recommend her podcast to you. So our friend Drew Barrymore wants to give you good news. on the go every week on her new podcast, Drew's News.

Drew is joined by special guests like Roblo, Casey Wilson, Jay Shetty, and even us to help her break down the latest quirky, fun, and inspiring stories in the world. We got to join Drew, as we talked about, to talk about our favorite green flags in relationships and the latest dating terms. Everyone's got to know. We really did just have so much fun with her on that episode. So good. You guys can catch new episodes of Drew's News every Friday, wherever you get your podcast

and make sure you listen to our episode, Girls Got to Eat. on solutions to ghosting, which we recorded with her. Yes. This was such a fun conversation about ghosting that we had with her. Drew told us that she'd been ghosted. We were like, what the fuck? I would ghost you. But then we really came up with a three-prong approach.

That is tough. Three-prong approach. You really got to think of through, take a moment. Yeah. So we loved what we talked about. We loved the structure of her podcast and everything we talked about. So definitely go listen to our episode and then you can listen to others too. We just are huge fans of how they set up.

So I basically said that if someone ghost you, you should send them a ghost emoji. And someone DM me that she did it. On Halloween? It worked. No, this was prior to Halloween. This DM came through. So she DM me and she said, the ghost emoji worked. You're a genius.

And she sent me the screenshot. So I don't know all the details of like how long she felt she had been ghosted, how long since they had communicated. But basically she sent him a ghost emoji. And Raina, he wrote back. I'm looking at the length. The most guy response that we've been talking about this for years. Oh my God, I know exactly what's going to be.

You know exactly what's going to happen. Oh, my God. He wrote back, it's been a long month, 5Gs. It's been a long month, L.O.L. I'm finally back in Dallas, but getting home was crazy. My flight got canceled and then couldn't get an Uber home at DFW until 2 a.m. And then when I got back to my apartment, my Jeep had been towed 12 days ago and had to pay $500 to get it out, LOL.

What does that have to do with you not texting me at all? Well, now I'm wondering if she just had to get an Uber. What? If she just got goes, she thought she got goes in first. like a weekend or like a couple days. Like I'm wondering how long. To me, like, if every situation is different, because a gun, I feel like ghosting could be that someone like bailed on plans that you

had solidified, like Drew talks about in that podcast. But she got the response. She said that it worked. I mean, it's not going to work for everybody. But the fact that he responded back with like, life has just been really crazy. And I'm like, car got towed and I had to get back to the deal. You and I talk about this all the time offline. Also, I think that like most people are strangers to you.

They just meet you on a dating app. They go out with you once. And then life happens. and you are essentially a stranger and you're the thing that gets jettisoned, right? If they can't fit everything in the day, you're the thing they're not going to fit in the day. People are people, it's fine. It's like not that deep. But I think men sometimes think you need more of an explanation than you do.

Like, he's like, let me just hit her with seven excuses. And he could have just been like, oh man, like tough travel day. I'm so sorry. Yeah, again, I don't know the backstory. I don't know how long this was of a ghost. Uh-huh. Of us, like, of him going dark, you know? It just feels like a male response.

I don't think women don't do that that often. The most. I wrote back to her, oh my God, also why is that the most typical guy response overshare? We have a friend that had an insane situation. It was the most overshare. It made me realize that guys need therapy or they need to talk to their friends more because the way that they dump on us sometimes as just casual dates is crazy. Not all the time. Some guys have their shit together, but the oversharing sometimes you're like, oh my God, do you have any buddy in your life that you're talking to? Can you not self-ed at all? This feels like a learned behavior.

I mean, truly, we'll ask her if we can share this. I mean, this guy basically checked in after sort of like ghosting out on her, which was no big deal. She felt fine about it. He gave her the most in-depth, outrageous answer to why he'd ghosted her. Of what happened with the girl before. He basically kind of seen somebody that was more far ahead in the game than she was. And they ended it. But like the emotional dumping was crazy.

Yes, it feels like a man. Women would never do this. Maybe. I don't know. But. We would never do that. We have already shared all that with our friends, our family, our therapists. Like, we very rarely roll like that.

We would be mortified if we did. We had the fight in the shower. We journaled about it. We told our mom and all of our friends. Do you remember look in the mirror and talk to yourself? Every once in a while I do. A couple episodes ago, I said that I do affirmations, but I don't do them in the mirror. So my answer is no, but no shade.

We are going to have an episode coming up where somebody asks us, where do you cry? And I, like, I've been thinking about this for weeks. And sometimes I say, sit in front of the mirror when I cry and I do some self-talk. But I watch myself cry. Because you think you look pretty? I do look pretty. That sounds like narcissism. To watch yourself cry. Maybe you should go to your Instagram story next time. I will never do that. Yeah, that's where I am when I cry in front of the mirror. You like to watch yourself cry. Okay. So really quickly, we did want to address the tell me lies finale.

Address. Yeah, people are you going to address this? So again, you know, not to brag, but we saw this while back because we got the screeners and we blew through them. Yes. Because they're a partner of ours, so we love them, we love the show so much. Spoiler alerts ahead. The finale, Stephen got back with Vanessa and was basically like, fuck you, which was crazy. Like, that seemed a little unrealistic to me, but I guess what are you going to expect from this guy?

When I started the show, I just thought this is like run of the mill kind of fuck boy, and I was like, which girl is he really want to be with? I still thought he kind of wanted to be with Vanessa, and that was his primary person. I went back and forth, and the character kind of takes a turn for me because I thought this was just your average fuck boy and then he's like a pathological liar and kind of really mean

and the stuff he does starts to become like more and more sick all the way towards the end where you see that he like was in that car crash and yeah he was essentially responsible for the death of one of the main characters and what the whole plot line is about so I don't know the character took a turn for me

I thought it was sort of a little bit lighter in the first couple episodes then it got a little heavier and I thought they just kept doing things to make him worse Yeah, I mean, and then basically at the very end, you now realize that he is with, was he engaged? He ends up with years later, again, five years ahead. He's with her, like, best friend who we were saying as a group, we were talking with Anna and Bella earlier, but like, you had to even remember who that girl was.

Like, they inserted this phone call, like the previous episode just so you remembered who she was because she was not an integral character. So I guess it was just to show that he has, what, infiltrated every part of her life. It just felt unnecessary to me. When they replayed this season on Tommy Lies and they looped her into it, it took me a second to even remember who that character was because she was such a small role on the show. And then he shows up and he's with her.

And I think they took every opportunity to show what a piece of garbage he is. It was like too much. Yes. Okay. So this is based on a book. I didn't read the book, but I started reading about the differences between the show and the book. And I found this to be fascinating.

Did you know any of this? No, but I love to Google this stuff afterwards. So in the book, Macy was actually dating Stephen, like, in their hometown. Macy was her friend before she goes to college. And all this time, Macy had a secret boyfriend, and Lucy didn't really know who it was. Turns out it was Stephen. So Macy died before they go to college. That was her friend before.

Oh. So it was not a college roommate. It was her hometown friend. Okay. And the same car crash situation, Macy was giving him roadhead when he totaled her car and killed her, it says. He walked away from her body without telling him when he was a driver because he didn't want to disrupt his life and future. So in the end, there's no like friend that he gets with. She kind of realizes

the Macy thing at the end, I guess, in the book. And then she reconciles with her mom. And the unforgivable thing that Lucy caught her mom doing was cheating on her dad with this guy that was Lucy's crush and Macy's older brother. That's crazy. So this guy Gabe, Lucy's old crush and Macy's older brother. I'm not certain that this was like an underage situation. It's probably like a of age, you know, young kids still. So the mom cheated with this kid. So, um, and then it says at Bree's wedding, she finally realizes that Stephen just saw her as a source of entertainment. And now she knows that she says, quote, I would never want to be that to anybody, not in a million years. So those are kind of the differences that Macy was like this childhood friend and still Stephen.

And then the mom thing. But, uh, interesting the way they changed. I like the way that they wrap the book up because there is sort of like a takeaway of like what was the point of all this and it was like she was just like this entertainment thing like you said. The end of the show I was just like I didn't understand they wrapped up a lot of the storylines

he's like engaged her friend that wasn't a part of the show At all and then like they allude to the fact that the big football player guy they alluded to the fact that his brother killed himself or something that's what I assumed that's why I assume but they don't ever like show it and then all these people are just ending up

with people they met when they were 18 which I find completely unrealistic. She ends up with Max? Yeah, like, I will say the thing that I hated was her drunkenly sleeping with Evan. Yeah, it made me hate the character. I know. You kind of stopped rooting for anybody.

Yeah. I mean, in terms of that, I still was rooting for Bree and Evan, but I don't know all those people's outcomes in the book. I just wanted to read the main part. I forgot also that she sleeps with Evan, which makes her a completely unsympathetic character, and you do completely...

I don't care that he married her best friend now. I don't, like, I don't care about it. These people are young. They were drunk. She needed consoling. I'm not giving excuses. I'm just like, it's not like the most outlandish thing in the world, but you're like, ugh, really?

Like, also, Evan, how could you do it? I don't know. It's just, they just slipped it in there to, like, have this thing. And, like, I don't know. There was no point to it. So it's just, what is it to make me hate her? So listen, guys, we like the show. But it ended, I, I don't know.

I, of course, we don't know how shows get adapted in TV shows. I don't know all the arriving reason behind it, but it was interesting, the changes that they made. I'm always fascinated by it. Thank you for sharing those with May. And I still recommend the show. I think I really enjoyed it. I like hung on every single episode. So if you guys haven't seen it, it's on Hulu and 10 episodes. And I really enjoyed the show a lot. Yes. And White Lotus is back. Love the first episode. We'll keep diving into this. Love is blind, obsessed with it too. It's hard to talk about these things because they're not current as we record, but we're obsessed

with both of those and we're like hanging on every episode the second they drop. Okay. Okay. guys, we are so excited to welcome back, one of the now most recurringest guest in the history of the podcast. He is a hysterical New York City comedian. He is the co-host of Hey Babe podcast. He is the host of Chrissy Chaos podcast. His new special, Speshy Washi, is out on Netflix right now. Please welcome to the show. Our family, Chris DeStefano. Hello. How are you? Family. We are you in. Look at this. And now this is Azul. Azul. Hi. Hi. I like him. And he's a rescue. He's your son now. That is literally, I've always wanted... He's on brand.

Well, Azul is he's Puerto Rican. That's what I was saying. Yes, I only will father Latinos. It doesn't matter. He can feel that. He's just like, this is my... What's father? This is my own in Spanish.

Put on some bad bunny. Make him feel better. Make him feel good. How good is bad bunny? I love bad bunny. Yeah, I love bad bunny too. When he was at the VMAs and he kissed his... Yeah, he kissed his male dancer and his male dancer.

I was watching with my brother. My brother was saying, that is the dopest thing I've ever seen. I was like, Okay, Matt. Just started making out with a guy. Yeah, that's when I became a fan. I became a fan when I heard Daddy Yankee. It was like 2011.

I've been into like regatone and Latin rap music like from the beginning. And they've been in you. Not as much as you'd expect. Really interesting. Well, Raina. I can get in there. And Raina means queen in Spanish. Oh, it actually does.

Yeah, you're right. Good for you. Chris, we're so excited to be back. This is your third time on the podcast. Is that like getting, who's the most? Like, who do I have to get to? Jared, how many is he, is he like untouchable? But three.

Really? Three by himself and one. Three by her, I think. So I'm the most by a Catholic. Right. So far. Okay, good. Most by a father.

Most repeat dad. There you go. So at least I have one title. Chris, I have to tell you, I was watching you yesterday morning on Fox 5 with Rosanna Scotto. I don't understand. How do you get on morning television? It's so. Are your children in school?

with like the children of these hosts. Like, have you had sex with a bunch of them and you know where the bodies are buried? Chris, I was watching on daytime television, you, Wendy Cummings, and two other women talk about female body image and you are curled up in a ball. Like, no one look at me or ask me any questions.

I, so what happened was with that is I got booked. I think the very first one was when Whitney Cummings was filling in for Wendy Williams. She asked me to come on her show and, you know, be a guest. And then I had like, you know, before the show, hair and makeup guy was like, you know, like this really like flamboyant gay guy.

He was like, you're going to have so much fun. You could be great. It's going to be good. And then like, you know, I'll be like, right here. I'll take your makeup off. We'll talk about your daughters. Like he was just like crazy. And we were having a good time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he was like whispering. He was so good, positive energy. And then I went out there and I just started swinging for the fences with jokes. Chris, the way people react to you, they just look at the ground. They don't even know what to do. And the look on your face is like, am I going to get a. away with it. It was like a 10 o'clock in the morning. This TV audience, so everybody else is doing

like knock, knock jokes and like Michelle Buto is up there being like, yeah, like a politician, like girl power, mm-hmm, like that, everyone's clapping. And then I'm just out there doing jokes about how like, I wish Travis Barker would die in a plane crash. And then they're like, and they're like, wait, what? And then, but they're jokes. And then just, and then I'm doing like Confederate, like, civil war jokes. And they're like, what is happening? And I'm doing abortion jokes with Whitney Cummings and they're all like bombing like so bad but then I'm had and then when I go off the set that like guy who was like yeah everybody left my green room was vacant nobody was there like no they didn't even give me a car home they're like you can get on the

train and so and and I then after that me and homeless pimp my guy Mike labin homeless pimp who does all my production stuff he was like dude because I was like dude I just bombed so hard on daytime TV. He was like, we have to get the footage and we watched the footage and we were on the floor, like dying, like to the point where I almost burst my appendix from, because we were dying, laughing on how hard I was bombing. And I was like, you know what? Clip it. I was like, put all that stuff out. Because I remember that night, Michelle Boutot called me and she was like, it's going to be okay, sweetie. Don't even worry about it. I was like, lady, I'm not looking to be a daytime television fucking house. I went with the intention of being a comic. So I went on, so I went on and, and, and, and,

So I edited it and I put it out there. And it got like a decent amount of traction. I was like, oh, Chrissy Daytimes, I'll come bomb on your show. And then I started going on all these daytime shows and just be like, I'm going to do the jokes as if this was late night. If Zit this was 2 o'clock in the morning at the comedy seller, that's how I'm approaching this show. Chris, you're on the view.

I don't know how this happens. Ashley and I have to like promise we're not going to say penis on morning television. And you are talking about insane shit. No, I literally went on Fox 5 yesterday. They have like a tease where they're like, they have like a tease where they're like, you know, teasing who the new co-host is. And I'm like in a booth, whatever. And then there was like, it was Halloween. So I was dressed up like a hot dog. And then there was like this woman dressed up like an alien like doing like all these like alien things. But it was like whatever. And they literally, five seconds before they're like, do not be political.

You cannot make any political jokes. I was like, 100% gotcha. As soon as that camera came on me, they're like, here's our co-host coming up at the 9 o'clock hour, Chrisa Stefano. I was like, hey, how are you guys doing? I'm Chris DeStefano. I was like, and this is Bill de Blasio. And I was like, this is what Bill de Blasio does now. And it's just like, she's just like an alien like on the wall. And they were like, because my thing is this. If we're going to go on these daytime things, then be a comedian.

You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm not saying just act, just try to get in trouble. But if you have a joke that you think is good enough, just do it. Don't be scared because what's the point? What am I going to just go on there and then be clapping like everyone like, like it's a TED talk? And then I look like an asshole. That's not what I want to do in my career.

And that doesn't benefit you in any way. No, it benefits me to have it on social media and have people like, this is so cringe. That's going to sell the tickets and elevate your brand. Yeah, but yesterday with Rosanna Scotto, shout out Rosanna Scotto, she's the best. She knows. Her kids listen and she was like, don't curse her or yell a slur. And then you're good. And I was like, great.

Daytime Chrissy is my, I'm a stand. Like, it's my favorite thing that you do. But there was this one show you went on with a bunch of guys. Was it Nick Cannon? Nick Cannon Show. And then it was canceled a week later. I was wondering what happened to that show. And Mike, the situation.

was on there and no one knew what to think of you. And you were just saying something they weren't getting in the moment. When you could watch their faces like digest the joke and then laugh, I was like, this is amazing TV. Because I can't handle, like when Mike, the situation was talking like earnestly about stuff, I was like, I'm not going to allow this. I was like, nope, Mike, shut off. Like, just stop.

Like, you know, like we don't care about your thing. Just I hear we're doing jokes. Chris, I can't believe any daytime producer watches a clip and then it bites you on. I feel like they get what they deserve. But it's good TV. It's just... Otherwise, it's like kind of just vanilla. Like, what did you...

Literally, yesterday, I was doing a segment with this guy, Larry, who's like an event planner, who's always on Fox 5, and he's great, this guy. But, you know, it was like, just this segment that wasn't really going anywhere. So, like, out of nowhere, I was like, Larry kissed me on the lips before the show. And they were like, excuse me?

I was like, he kissed me on the lips. Just to do something. And, like, literally, I see the cameraman's hands shaking because he's, like, trying to hold their laughter. I always look at the camera people and the union people. If they're laughing, you're doing good. Us too. We always try to see if Bella and Anna are laughing behind a camera.

I know I'm doing well. Bella and Anna, you know, like they're jaded. They listen to this all the time. You know, they don't care. It is true. Like, I loved watching the clip of you talking about body image with three women because I've heard those commentaries before, but watching you do it, you are curled up in the chair.

Both of your legs are like up. Your knees are in your belly button. You're like, I don't know what to say. Yeah. Well, my daughter, after that one, my daughter was, like, oh, Layla's mommy said that she saw you on a show yesterday, and then you said bad words. And I was like, no, I was like, no, it was like, Daddy does comedy. She was like, I know. And then, you know, my daughter says to me, any time, like, I've gotten in, like, any kind of trouble,

my daughter is always like, I'll always support you, Daddy. You'll always have at least one fan. I'm like, well, you're not old enough to buy tickets. You mean nothing to me? Yeah, I was like, I would have to give you the money to buy the tickets, so we'll be fucking homeless if it's just you. So you've had another daughter since the last time you came on the show. Wow, that is true. I have yet another Puerto Rican daughter as well, keeping the theme. Yeah, same, same mama.

We got, we had broken up in the, you know, right for the Pandy Wandy. And then, and then we got back together in it, had another baby. Now we have like a house. Like my whole life has like changed. I have two, really three kids because, you know, my stepson. So I'm, you know, pretty much in his, I take care of him. So three children. a house on Staten Island.

We've been to it. You've come to it. And by the way, Jasmine, my girl, she like, you're one of the only two, you're one of the only women in the comedy entertainment world

that she's like, I like those girls. Like even today. Do you think that she doesn't think I'm pretty? Yeah, we're not threatening. No, no, no, no, she does think you girls are pretty

and she's like, how I like them. Our new faces. Yes, new faces. She likes you with money. She was unsure in 2018. Yeah, I don't want you going over there. Yeah, 28, you know, before you had the fillers and all

that stuff. Before I got veneers, it's true. But she likes you girls, which is good. Yeah. She likes you too and she likes Rachel Feinstein, Jessica Kiereson, but, you know. Do you think she has a sense for women that are non-threatening and women that, like, are kind of too flirty actually want to get with you? I think that we have worlds, right? We have BCAD. We have, you know, pre-9-11, post-9-11. We have worlds. We have now. We have implants, Jasmine. We have fake boobs Jasmine. We have FBJ. We have FBJ fakes boobs, Jasmine, and now we have Jasmine X-Plants or Ex-O-Plance. How do you say it? Ex-plants or Ex-O-Plance? When they take the boobs out. She had them before. And now she did not. Jasmine had fake boobs for the since I've known her since 2014. Then over the summer, we took a little Hampton's trip and Jazz got her boobs removed. And this Jasmine, the Jasmine with no boobs after the X-plant is literally a different like woman. I've met, I have a new partner, and it's Jasmine with no tits. Wait, there's so much time pack.

Is this like blowing the whistle and anti-briscipline? Yes. Like, are you saying they affected her body or just psychologically? Here's what I'm saying. Jasmine, it was telling me. Because, you know, we, you know, I've talked about it multiple times on the podcast with you two personally. We've had a very tumultuous relationship at times.

Breaking up, getting back together. But, you know, like fire, like, you know, like that energy and it's crazy. And it's like something that's drawn to you, but also something like, this will kill you. And this is not good for like a family. So what happened was, is she's been telling me, she was telling me since 2014. She was like, every time, like, we'd get into an argument, she's like, it's my, she would be like, like, my tits make me crazy. Like, I fucking hate that these are in my body.

I hate these. And I was like, and I never believed it. I was just like, whatever. No, I was like, no, you're just crazy, girl. Like, you know, like, whatever. And then it got to a point after my youngest daughter was born. You know, she had to get some type of surgical intervention because I have now third kid, you know, like drooping or they were like, oh, this one could be leaking.

Like, you need to do something. For sure. So she was like, I really want to get my boobs removed. Like I think I'm telling you, she was like, it's just something I can't explain, but I'm stressed out and upset all the time because of my boobs. I don't want them in my body. And then I was like, all right, so let's get them out then. Like, if that's what you want, let's do that.

I'll pay thousands of dollars for you to have smaller boobs and be happy about it. I can relate. Every guy's dream. Yeah, Raina can relate more. So what happened was is over the course of, you know, the couple of months, she really like little by little, like started to become like, like, in moments where like it would be like a huge fight or like a thousand questions. The questions weren't coming.

The fight wasn't happening. It was almost to the point where I was like, is she planning on like leaving me? Did she have a psychotic break where now she's so nuts where she's like, everything is like, okay. And then the one day I'm going to come home. you're going to blow my head up with the shotgun. I was like, what is happening? And then as time went on, I realized from talking to her, from talking to doctors,

that there's like a lot of new research out now, like with plastic surgery, any type of plastic surgery, especially the boobs because it's near your heart, your body goes into like a fighter flight issue, like a meat, like for the duration that you have them in your body, your body is saying, I'm rejecting these. I don't know what that is. So I will send cortisol and stress hormones and put it at the top every second of your waking life until you get them out because your body doesn't comprehend what's going on. It wasn't designed for that. And Jasmine told me that.

She was like, I'm telling you, I would be so angry or ready to begin with. And then you would do something and I'd be level and I go off the rails where now those are out. Now it's like she's definitely gotten really mad at me before, but like I deserved it. You know, like so. Now you do worse shit because you know she don't get it. Yeah. You've raised your bar too. Now I'm like, yeah, now I'm like cheating with ISIS, you know, like I'm doing terrorism and infidelit, like everything.

And so she sent to me, though, she was like, I'm telling me, like, once like these came out, like, I just feel like a different person. And I sense that. So now all those times when I would just be like, feel trapped with her or feel like, what am I doing? Like, I would just be like thinking about like, how do I get out of this? now it's starting to be like wait why why i don't want to get out of this like we have family we have children we have a beautiful house like this person is is a person that like can tolerate like me it's made me a better person because i'm like okay now i don't want to ruin this i was always acting from a point of let me just do something subconsciously to ruin my lot to ruin this so i can get out of it and

whatever but now it's like no no no like now now i'm like wait a second wait a second i don't want to ruin this anymore. Now I'm like, wait, we, I have, because I think a lot of times what happens, and it took me a while to think this. And I think it's because of, you know, when, you know, when, you know, when she went through her body change, like, there was so many changes for the both of us that happened. But I think what happens is sometimes, like, you don't know what you want, because you already have it. You're always like looking. Well, but it's like, no, you have, you have, you have what you want. This is why you're, this is why you're, because I think it's like a defense. It's like a survival thing where I'm like, oh, I always have to keep getting better,

get more, more, more, more. When it's like, wait, if you just slow your life down and you're like, I have all these, what do I want? What else do I need? I don't need anything else. So like live in this comfort. Like it would be a great, you know, 40 plus years, wherever long you live to like have this comfort that I thought I was searching for. I thought it was out there, but it's in here. Only when she, like, her and I started to get like closer. And we also got to a point after eight years of being like, do you really, is this what you want your life to be? Like, I had to ask myself that, like independent of her. Like, is this what you want? You want to constantly, like, be, you know, thinking about, like, how you're going to do co-parent visits with her or

what, you know, next year is going to look like. Should Delilah, you know, my oldest one, should she go to school in my neighborhood or hers? Like, is that what you want your life to be? And it's like, what do you want to be? You want to be 45 years old, single, hooking up with girls. Is this what you want? And it's like, if that happens, that happens. But it's like, do not put yourself in a position to make that happen. Don't do that. And And so I don't now, you know. And listen, it's been four months now, three months, beginning of August, so it's November. So I'm good at math.

We would keep going to couples therapy for years. And the therapist would always say the same thing. Why don't you two just try? Like, why don't you actually really, like for six months, just try. Why? Did you break up or go long? Just try to be together. And then after six months, if you can't do, just commit.

Any problem you're saying you're not leaving. It doesn't matter how bad it is. For six months, you're going to stay in fight. as long as you can. And we never really did that. One of us would just be like, I can't do this by because of her tities. Because of her tities. And because of me, there's a, there's a two, there's a second component that I haven't got to. There's a sick, yes, I have her tits now. No, there's a no, there's a second component. Can I just give people some backstory also? Yes. For years, like, you've talked about those in your comedy specials and interviews, like, the crazy amounts of, like, jealousy, fighting,

going through your phone. Yes. So two big things happen. One, no more, jazz, it doesn't have tits anymore. which by the way, my mind shift, I used to be, I'll be very honest, like attracted to big boobs, big lips, fake, all that. But now what I see in that, and I don't know if it's just a maturity thing. And if there's many beautiful women that have plastic surgery, and if you do it for you, do it for you, whatever it is. Something in me would be like, no, like you, if you're going to adjust your boobs and adjust your lips and adjust your butt, if it makes you happy or great. But for me, it feels like I don't want that anymore. I don't want to adjust my body. I don't want, there's something going on where you don't like yourself. There's a line too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think that for me, that's what I like the way Jasmine is, is like her natural state is like so much more beautiful than her enhanced state. But the second huge component is what changed in my life. And it was, especially in our careers.

You know, like, you ever, like, jump in a cold shower or cold water and, like, you can't breathe. Like, you can breathe, but you're like, you know. So I got completely off of social media. You can only access me if you have my cell phone number or if you go through homeless pimp or the person who runs my social media. Oh, like someone else runs it. Someone runs it.

Yeah, yeah, because of our career is like we can't just stop. But I don't even have the password to my Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, snap. I don't have any access to it. So people will text me sometimes. It'll be like, hey, what are you mad at me? Like you haven't responded to one story in two months. I'm like, buddy, I don't have any way to access to it. Because what happened was I found myself in constant comparison to not only,

others, but to myself on social media. And I was constantly being pulled in all these different directions, like you would have a show, right? I would do a show. And then after the show, I would look for admiration. Because people talk a lot about negative comments. That's all we focus on, right, is how negative, oh, these negative comments on YouTube or Instagram or whatever. But the positive comments throw your balance off as well. I feel like the negative and positive comments are equally as damaging. Because they're too much? For you. For Yeah, I'm not, I don't think the human brain is designed to take in millions or thousands of comments from people all over the world. No, it's not.

We've had therapists on it. We're not at all. You're not equipped to handle feedback, that feedback loop from thousands of people. So I decided, I was like, you know what? I'm going to make my life a lot smaller. I'm going to get off social media. And that first day when I did it, when I gave the keys of all of it to this guy, I felt like I was in a cold shower. Like I remember I was having like palpable because it is a withdrawal.

It is a thing where you start to think. think then, how am I going to connect with the fans? Or you even start to think, well, now I guess no one's going to tell me they like me anymore. How can I ever hear it again? Because, you know, that's where my mind was going. It wasn't really the negative. The negative, you're happy to walk away from. But it's the positive comments, I think, that keep us sucked in. If you're looking for someone to say how much they love you. It's like a good dopamine hit every time. Exactly. So I was knew that. So I was like, this dopamine hit is going to need to be replaced somewhere. So try to replace it with something positive. So now I intermittent and fast.

I do. Now I starve myself. Yeah, so now I only eat in a four-hour window, and then I jerk off in the fourth hour. In my cold shower. Yeah, yeah, in the cold shower, I just jerk off onto a bag of fucking beans and baby carrots. So I love Teddy Roosevelt. You know what I mean? I'm a history jerk off.

So Teddy Roosevelt said comparison is the thief of joy. And when he said that, I know he said that 150 years ago, but I was like, the first time I heard it, I was like, wow, it really is. Something clicked in me where I was like, you know, I went to did shows in the UK and had a great time with the shows. And for me, I living in the moment with no social media, had a fantastic time. Now, if I would have done that with social media, what probably would have happened is I would have compared myself to other people who were there at that time or other people I've been there. And did they sell bigger venues than me? Did they do this?

Did they do that? Looking at other people's social media, what did they do when they were there? and I didn't do any of that. I just genuinely enjoyed it with the people I was there with. For me, the venue size and the fans who were there was enough, and I just was happy with it. And I don't, like, I feel net, and it's made me be able to make the choice. Like, I don't really do anything, at least in the last two months.

I haven't done anything that I really didn't want to do. I even turned down a movie two weeks ago because I was like, I just don't want to go for three days and be away from the kids and miss yet another one of my daughter's track meets. and what it's going to do to my body flying cross-country. I just don't want to do it because when you make your world small like that, you're like, well, I don't need the movie. I don't need any.

I'm happy with how my life is the exact way I want it. And that, for me, was only possible by getting off social media. And then that has improved the relationship with Jasmine and I, because there was a lot of times where, like, I would start an argument with her about something subconsciously or create some web thing to cause a fight with her because some, you know, really beautiful girl who's a doctor had, you know, DM'd me a month ago that how much you love my comedy.

And then I start to fantasize, well, what would it be like to be with her? It's not like I would even respond. If I did respond, it wasn't, you know, too much. But it was enough to be implanted in my brain to be like, well, what about that? What about out there? And then it goes back to you are, you're searching for what you want because you already have it. So that, getting off that social media has helped me like immensely. And I got to be honest, in just.

roughly two, three months. I don't miss it like at all. And I understand that I'm in a privileged position to be able to pay someone to run it for me. And I'm still on it every day texting and put this caption, put this clip approving. It's still very much a part of my business. But you will not be able to get to me unless you already previously know me or I allow you access. And I needed to do that for me because I feel like the path I was going. I was 1,000% going to make a mistake somewhere. Like, you know, and yeah, women, sure. But also, you know, there's people that try to suck you in to do gigs you don't want to do to get involved in products you don't want to be a part of. Like, you know, now you're pitching, you know, some stupid alt coin because somebody got in touch

with you. And then next thing, you know, you're getting investigated by the SEC. That didn't really happen. But, you know, I'm just scenarios. Like, there's all these things where and now it's like, you know what? Every day my head is up off my phone with my kids. I'm with the homework. We're watching movies. We're doing all this stuff. Where it used to be like, I'd be like, oh, baby, I can't tell you how many times. But babe, hold on on. Daddy just has to post one thing. and respond to one thing. And then it was always one thing. And now it's like, after a while you get bored of looking at your phone.

You do. And it starts to like hurt your brain or like sometimes I'll feel like a little bit of nausea. Like I'm like, what am I doing? Like why am I scrolling for hours? Like I should be in bed. And listen, you may not have like I felt like I needed to do this. I'm not suggesting everybody do this. No, no, no.

It doesn't. Regardless is an important point. Yeah. I think that it's really hard when you are, when you are the brand. You're not like you're not a water bottle. You know, like you're the brand, and so much of your self-worth is tied to other people's opinions, strangers' opinions of you. And it becomes this crazy loop of, like, negative and positive.

I got to chase the positive. And I think so much of yours were girls trying to sleep with you or hook up with you, and how could it not interfere with your relationship and your time with your daughters? And like, what would it be like if I just had this 24-year girlfriend and I can see with her? Yeah. And I think, like, too, like you have to, all I can possibly do is try to be a better person from the present moving forward. So I just kind of thought that because I was like, Well, you know, like, let me just be the best version of me today and do that.

And for me, that, like, I was viewing social media as, like, toxicity in my brain where, again, I know I need it for business. I hope that my content does help people, random people that are know in a positive way. But I felt like I don't need, like, I did my part. I put out the content that hopefully you laugh at or it helps you in some way. But now you can't then, the extra part is, like, you know, talk and, you know, people would DM me. and be like, you've helped me so much. And then, you know, giving me all their problems. And it's like, I don't know you.

So I had to make a decision to be like, anyone I don't know, I'm not going to allow their opinion to influence my life at all. And to have access to me. Well, that, but I only care about now, like the way I live is I only care about the people in a room. So, like, I don't know them as well. But, like, they're here and, like, I'm physically in their presence. So it's like, I would respect them and care what they think of me and be kind to them. But, like, and, of course, my friends and family who I've known.

But outside of that, like, I'm not going to let somebody, have an opinion of me positive or negative. Like I just, I want them to come to the shows, but you don't have access to me. I do the show and then I leave. I think those things are important. I love what you're doing in terms of like, yes, you need to be on social media for your brand,

but you just don't see the feedback loop. I mean, it is, it gets really toxic. And then people will get in your head and be like, oh, you can't take a note or can't take feedback. It's like, it's not worth it. First of all, don't gaslight me with that bullshit. I'm going to do me and the way I want to do it. So no, I can't please everybody.

I don't need everyone's notes. I also take notes from people that I love that I care about. I take notes from Ashley and our best friends that all listen to the show and our parents and our family. Like I am not impenetrable to have feedback, but I don't need somebody screaming me. I don't want it to be negative. I don't want to be hurtful. It doesn't help me in any way. And if something's bad enough, you'll hear about it.

Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? You're going to offend you and more than us. But if you do comedy, you're going to offend people. If it's bad enough, you're really at risk of being canceled. to tell you about it, but you don't need to hear every single thing that you've done to bother somebody in your messages or in your comments every time. And you know what happened to, you know, with all that comparison stuff? And the comparison stuff. I started comparing myself to me. Yeah, I want to talk about

this little bit more. I would look at myself, you know, on social media three months ago and felt I was either better or worse back then and go down this judgey pattern where it's like, yo, I'm just worried about the present. And for me, the only way to stay in the present is to be like, yeah, if a picture of me pops up randomly in a drawer, that's one thing. But to constantly have access to what you looked sounded like a month ago a day ago to me i was like i don't want that i need it out i do that a lot with body image stuff because i will look back at how i looked like a year ago or five years ago and think like how does that compare to now and it helps me to remember at least for like body image stuff that like the thinnest times in my life were the most unhappy so if i look

back and i'm like well i just i looked better back then and so many of us were filtering our photos back then and making ourselves thinner and you didn't even necessarily look like that no it was you You forgot that you talked. You were just better face tune. Yeah, you forgot that you came with the highest angle ever and cropped it so you look like you had a good chin, but you were swollen. You weren't intermittent. You weren't intermittent fasting. You weren't eating in your allotted feeding window. So do you know Jimmy Iovine? Jimmy Iovine. Why have I heard that name? So he's like, he was record label and then he worked with Dr. Dre and the Beats by Drake collab. But his documentary, the Defiant Ones and then we had his daughter on recently. And it's just my favorite documentary. It's four parts. And his quote that somewhere along the lines, people have somehow. attributed to Kim Kardashian, which we're always trying to blow the whistle on, because this is a, Jimmy I have been a quote, is about how horses race with blinders so they don't see the horses on the other side because they'll trip up and fall. And like comparing yourselves to other people.

I mean, we just can't hammer this home enough. I think there's something to be said for seeing what's going on out there and seeing where you could do something better or see when there's like a hole in the industry that you could fill. But when you really start that like, they're doing this and they're doing this and they're doing this. It's just detrimental to your business. You're always, always, always only ever like racing with yourself even if you know whatever job you go out and get or even in our careers like if you don't get a part like even if your identical twin got that role or not you it's just was never meant for you yeah i also like being surrounded by people that are really good at what they do and even if it makes me like a little tinge of jealousy like oh i wish i was doing that

someday i like being surrounded by people that i can be inspired by a good thing to know is you have to surround yourself with positive people and just because someone's been your friend for 25 years doesn't mean they still have to be your friend today because we're all walking bags of chemistry so the chemistry that you aligned with 25 years ago may not be the chemistry inside me or you right now so i don't think of family i do believe there's like you stay connected to because i didn't choose my family some higher being like connected me to these ones so they're mean i don't know what it means but it means something where friends i did choose and you know i have a lot of friends from home but there are certain people in my life that used to talk to all the time and i'm like oh i just don't

align with them as much anymore. And maybe they feel the same about me and that's fine. So you don't have to beat your head against the wall to like stay friends with people who may not be serving. I love that I'm talking like this and then I kill myself tonight. Chris, first of all, I think this is funny that people probably expected something different and now they're like, what is going on here? I know. I'm so, I'm sorry. Let's talk about. No, no, no. I want to circle back to a couple things. One, this thing that we have also discussed on the podcast. Azul stuff fucking looking at me with, you're his dad now. I was his dad nine months ago. You just, like, made a choice with Jasmine.

My body, my choice. We've talked about your body, her choice. This is the shit you do. This is morning, this is morning television, like how you just decided to commit. Like, we talk about this with men a lot that there is this constant, like, what's out there that's better? Could I find this but just a little bit better?

It just sounded like you guys made a decision to be like, well, let's just commit and make a choice that telling yourself, like, do I want to be 45 and, like, chasing pussy of these, young girls? Like, we talk about. men, especially, especially like men in New York, you have to make the decision to commit to someone and stop the other bullshit. It's like a decision sometimes. It kind of feels like when it happens for you, it happens for you because I also kind of felt like, well,

there also is greed involved where you start to feel like, I've been in enough relationships and enough encounters where like, I know what it feels like in the moment. I know what it feels like after. I know what it feels like the morning. I know. I know what all these things feel like. So I felt like whatever other woman is out there, it's like, I know what it all feels. Like we don't share the bond of having children and this life that we have together. By the way, even more, I wasn't making Jasmine a better person at all. I wasn't. Just because I was like providing, I was like, I'm making her worse.

Like I'm sleeping with my back to her. I'm keeping her in this uncertainty limbo. Like I'm like literally like making this woman's like life hell mentally because I'm like, she has, now she has two, three kids and she's like, what is this guy going to do? Like, you know, I'm like, oh, it always provide for you. It's like, I get that now where it's like, who care? Like, yeah, of course I would. But, like, that's not what she wants to hear.

And that's not what I should be giving her. So now I feel like, at least I know, like, what I give her now is like certainty in life. Security. Like, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Like, I just feel any issue with her and I now, like, we'd be able to deal with. We'd just be able to, like, get through. Where I didn't really feel like that because I was too scared and too much of a pussy to just say, I don't want to be with you.

I'm going to walk away. and if you cry on the floor, I don't care because I'm doing what's best for me. So what I was trying to do was create some scenario where she would have to do it because I fucked up so bad, so she'd have to throw me out. But then really it's what I wanted because I was just, I was being a coward. You do talk about like the jealousy and the craziness and her going through your phone a lot. And I generally think when I hear about a woman behaving like this, I always think what's going on to provoke her. Some people are just a little crazier.

The implants. I will always think now, do they have butter breast implants? Well, now I... Jasmine's got a real butt. She's got a nice, Latin... She does. I mean, she is so beautiful. Yeah, she is.

I just wish she had a dick. Wait, there was... Chris. Sorry. Sorry, Azuel. You said when she stopped acting like that, you thought she don't want to be with you anymore. Yes.

And I think that is so funny that that is where your brain went. You were like, oh, she doesn't love me anymore. Yeah, I don't even take my phone with me. I would, like, literally, like, flush it down the toilet. Like, it's in the toilet bowl with me. But now it's like, I'll leave it. Like, I would leave my phone with her.

Because I've changed the passcode. No, but I don't know. Someone else controls all your passwords. No, I know. You guys know my pass codes. It's 1776. Obviously. I leave it there now because I'm like, you know, one, I have nothing to hide.

And B, I feel, and one in B. But I feel like if you did find something, if someone from the past popped up, or if even someone like messaged her and was like, I, your boyfriend did this. I know that whatever it is, we just deal with it. Like I would just be, have an explanation. and, you know, now it's like, see, I think, too, with Jasmine, what's, what's helped is because my actions have changed where it's like, you know, she said to me like a week ago, she was like, hey, like out of nowhere, like it wasn't like this dramatic moment. She was like, I just want

you to know that I really see you trying and I'm happy for you. That's great. I love that. I think that people, you have to acknowledge people, make them feel appreciated. Even if for years you feel like they deserved how crazy you acted. I think it's nice to acknowledge the change in somebody. Yeah. I mean, I think, you know, I think too, because I started to, also think like well how does this affect my daughters what are my daughters going to is this what i want my daughters to see like do like my i mean i realized what i kissed jasmine we just randomly kissed um late september um i remember because delilah was going to school so about a month ago we just dropping the kids off and i just randomly kissed jazz like out of nowhere on the lips and deliota

was like oh i haven't seen you to do that in years oh my gosh and i yeah jasmine started like hysterical crying was you pregnant um and jasmine was like do you see like how long like Delilah never said anything like that to us. And like, we didn't know. We were like, oh, we don't fight in front of her. We made a pact for that two years ago. We were like, we won't argue ever in front of her. But things were still bad.

But it was just, you know, we were like, as long as we don't fight, the kids don't know. But when she said that, she was like, I haven't seen. And even my little one now, like, I'll kiss jazz on the lips. And then Violet will come over and kiss both of us on the lips. Like, she's, she's seeing like, oh, this is what love is. This is what affection is, you know? So has she been good about letting go with the past? Yeah.

I think that's A, so great that she's validating the progress. Because some people worry that you'll never forget and you'll be in a fight and all this stuff will come up. I think we had a long conversation about that. And I said, if we both can't let go of each other's past, then there is no path forward. Because it's like you cannot change the past no matter what. It's just about being present. And we have to take our life day by day. We have to.

And we both have agreed to do that. And we do do that. Like it's literal, it's been day by day. Every morning we wake up, it's a clean slate and go to bed, it's a clean slate. That's like what, like, the promise so far that we've, like, made to each other. And, you know, so far, I feel good this way. And I feel good this way, even if it, I'm not saying it would, but I was like, there would be things where I was like, oh, well, if I'm like a taken man, then I'll get less.

I'll get less girls to come to the shows. I'll get less roles. And number one, that's not true. But two, I've, more importantly, I was like, even if that did happen, I don't care. I like my life. Like not everything is about money and it's not all about, like you don't, whoever has the most money doesn't win. Yeah.

You know, wherever sells the most tickets doesn't win. It's not that. It's like we have this consumption thing in our society that I'm kind of like slowly being like, I don't, I have enough for me. Like I do,

you know. So if you girls get a, you know, 50 million dollars Spotify contract, I'll just, you know, I'll be clapping like Michelle Boutot on daytime TV. Just clapping.

And I won't care that I didn't get it or anyone, any even, whomever, like, I have what I want. So I'm good. Yeah, I just don't care what other people have. It doesn't make me any better. I'm happy with where I am.

And I feel like we don't make a lot of decisions based on money. You know, I think that we want to be happy and fulfilled. Like Oprah said, the money comes second. I mean, yeah. Money is important, too. You know, people hearing this that are like struggling for money are like, fuck you guys. No, no.

Money doesn't solve without saying money doesn't solve all problems. It solves a lot of them. Yeah. Yeah. It's just, it's so crazy when the, greed like billionaires. It's like, what's the point of this? What's the point? What's the point? You'll never spend this. Well, you know, it is an American thing. I was in England and the show sold out. Thank you. And then I was in, I was going to Ireland. The next day, and those shows were sold out.

And I was on the phone with my agent and the other comic was just in earshot. And we were talking about adding shows in, in, in, in, I'd already added the show in London. We were talking about now adding the show in Dublin. And then I got off the phone. And, you know, He wasn't a part of the conversation, and he was like, can I, do you mind if I say something? And I was like, yeah, he goes, why do you feel like you always need more? He's like, why not just celebrate the sellout? And you have these fans on the other side of the ocean, that's cool. He's like, why not just celebrate that?

What do you think's going to happen to the fans if you don't add a second show? Like, you're not thinking about you. You're thinking about money and them and what your agent wants. Like, why not just have dinner? You have a 7 o'clock show. You're going to end at 9. He was like, I know a fabulous restaurant in Dublin. You can go there with your family, with Jasmine, with your friend.

Why not just do that? Why do you need to sit in the green room for yet another three hours? And then you're going to miss out. You have more money, but you miss out on time. So like you've made the money already. You've sold, you did the thing. He goes, as an American, you always want more. So why do you want that?

And I was like, where's my fucking gun? But he was right. But he was right. That's the thing. I'm kidding. But he was right. ruin it every time. No, but he was right.

No, I mean, Ray and I leave money on the table. Good. Like, not a lot. I can tell by the size of the studio. We have these conversations a lot. We're a business. We like to make money, you know, but we're not going to make ourselves miserable for the money. We've turned down a lot.

I mean, we could have more ads in these episodes, for one. And we're just like, I don't know. I mean, we were talking about this yesterday when people complain. We're like, we could do more just so you know. Yeah. But, no, I think that we've done things where we're like, let's not do that. Let's enjoy ourselves. Let's not add the second show. Let's spend time with our friends and family.

You definitely have success just from an outsider at your pace. Like Nate Bargazzi has success at his own pace and his own rate. And it's so monumental success. But you never look at Nate and I never look at you girls like doing 90 cities and 30 days. Like you're doing it. The thing is it's always a home run. You're more quality over quantity, which is what I think we all strive for. I think it is important to remember.

And I also just want to, while we're having this conversation, validate the people that would like to do more. You know, I don't want to like shit on it. Do more. And also if you do 300 shows a year, sure. Yeah. I think we always end up on these calls sometimes and we're like, what matters to us is how our life looks.

We want to like our life. Yeah, like you have to, like I always say to myself, if you make time and money equal, equal parts, then I think like you start to realize like how much actual money costs so much more than time. Where like, you know, if I go away from a Wednesday to Sunday to do some like improv or like, you girls know you make a lot of money doing those because there's big shows and you know you can just like you're just like printing money well but that for me then costs three more days apart you know because you you got to get there Wednesday morning you're probably not going to be home till Monday

morning so it's like three more days away from my girls all the things that I'll miss all the dinners all the moments where if I just go and do Friday Saturday yes it is less money but I have the time back so I feel actually I come back Sunday instead of Monday because I've shaved days off, I'm actually coming back with, yes, less money, but like way more value. I've given way more value to my family because I'm there. And that's a tough thing for other people like our reps who don't, you know, as much as they say, and they're all good people, as much as they say they don't know, because it's like you don't have to get on the plane. I'm the one that has to face my family. So I'm the one that has to actually physically get my body on the plane and go. And so it's just less.

And that's why I think the beauty of having podcasting is, is like we can just sit here and like talk and it's a good living. But it's like it's more helpful sometimes to like people who are, you know, just listening and, you know, maybe they're listening at a job they hate right now. And they can like be motivated to like go start stand up and fail. Like we all have. They can't DM you for advice on stand up. Unfortunately you can. Well, I will eventually create a burner account. No.

You can DM Pimp. Homeless Pimple. right back. Yeah. I love the conversation. We didn't see it coming. Yeah. Okay, fine. Yeah. I could talk about, do you want to talk about like butt stuff? What do you want to hear? Sure. Let's throw, are you into butt stuff? No. Let's talk about it.

But actually, well, here's the thing. I thought no. But then I caught a Remy a month ago. You caught a Rimmie. Because she, you know, like we were hammered. And then and then we woke up and I had a tongue in the ass.

Hold on. You did a morning. You ripped it back up. Yes. So we were... You woke up with her tongue in your ass. No, you didn't. Literally, I was laying on my stomach and, you know...

Was she sleepwalking? Naked. No, no, no. This was just like a thing, like a sexual thing. She woke you up, rimming your butthole. Yes. And I didn't know that like, because I had never happened before. And I didn't know, like, because at first, my first instinct was like, whoa, what's

happening? And like, you know... Are you on your stomach? Stop. I was on my stomach. She spontaneously started licking your butthole for the first time ever in the first time ever in the morning. Do you sleep naked? What? Do you sleep naked? Yeah, that, that night I was. So she, like, saw something she wanted

when she woke up. Yeah, yeah. And then turn me over and sort of like, you know, like blowing me, but then also the ass play. And I didn't, I, like, really liked it. And I felt, and I struggled for a moment. I was like, I got to be gay. But then I was like, no, you're not. And then. And then I was literally saying I'm not gay as she was doing it. There's no one that talks more about. As I was, I was just like, like, she was like, you were holding your legs up like you're fucking like a gymnast. I can't get over this. Never ever in the past.

You guys have never done by step. She woke up spontaneously in the morning and started licking your breast implants. That's what it is. I'm telling you it's a different mind. Yeah. All you had to do is stop doing some fuck boy shit. And now you get to do this. That is so, maybe this is like your love language.

So I used to say that this ex of mine, he never went down to me until I cooked for him this one night. So I made him these empanadas and he went down to me like all night. And he had never done that before. I was like, into it. He just needed me to do like a service act for it. And we've given the recipe out as my mom's banana recipe. I love that you make up bananas. You look like you are great at tennis. It's funny. You would say that because I'm not. And my tennis story is that I did try out for the tennis team,

my best friend and I in ninth grade. And up until that point, they never cut anyone from the program until they cut the two of us. So we're like historically went down as the worst tennis players in the town. But I think I could be better at now and I do want to pick it up. because you have female tennis energy. I think that's a compliment. It is a compliment. You have big tennis energy. I have so many friends to play tennis.

I want to get into it. But, okay, Chris, so now you seems like you're probably into the butt stuff. Like, you know that you like it. Yeah. Now I, yeah, now I am into the butt stuff. Now, quite often I'll just find myself, you know, like after a shower or whatever, just like, you know, going into like the little cabinet and getting my daughter's desitent diaper rash cream and just putting it on my finger and just putting it on my butt. You're fingering your own butt now.

Not fingering it, but I'm saying that it's just there because I have a diaper rash, but I feel fine. You're doing anal play on yourself a little bit sometimes. I don't think Desitin is supposed to go inside. No, no. And actually Jasmine asked me to stop using it because A, we're running out. And she was like, she's like, A, we're running out. B, when I do go down on you, I don't like fucking having a tongue full of rash cream.

Right, exactly. That's understandable. So we can get you some lube. Yeah. Are you dabbling in toys? Are you going to do that? No, no, that I don't know that I don't know that I can. definitely do yet. I'm not, I'm not as, I don't know that I could do a toy yet. Are you doing

bust up on her? Um, what do you mean? Like anal, like penetration. Yeah, finger. Yeah, yeah, finger. Yeah. Is that new or that's been part of the script? No, it's new. It's less going through the motions. It's more like, let's be like passionate. And like, if we're going to have sex, like let's do it. But, you know, we don't have that much. Because, you know, we got the baby. Like little kids. So like, so when we do do it, it's usually good. But it's not that much. You don't want your daughters to be like, I haven't seen mommy put her tongue in daddy's button so long. Yeah. Like you're like, we're really saying a good example, hon. Yeah. She's tongueing her fucking toy Cinderella's ass. I'm like, honey, stop. Is there good questions? Are we got questions? I, so we have questions.

So we have, we'll do, as as well would say. So let's just do, we'll do two. We'll do two. Is this weird? So we asked our audience like, is this weird? Like, what do you, what do you think of this confusing thing that happened. So she says, so just to preface, I don't love when a guy goes down to me. I can't relate. But I was dating this guy for a few months and he decided to go down there. Right off the bat, he just starts motorboating my vagina with his face. His entire head was shaking violently and he was making a literal buzzing noise with his mouth. I was so shocked and freaked out. I started yanking his head back up. What the actual fuck? Do men seriously think women want this? I can't stop thinking about how cringe this whole thing was. I broke up with him a few

explained her. So was this weird? Because he went down on her. The motor boating and the noises like Yeah, that's insane. Like that's like literally like that's I don't know where you would get that. Did she say what she was? Uh-uh. Because I, this sounds to me like somebody who's like 18, 19 in college has never done it really that much. And like maybe you're just like that's what I think people want. But like that is the most you're going to get like a vibration in your lips. Like that's going to do the work of a vibrator more than just. just like a licking. So I'm not saying I would want that,

but I get where maybe he was coming from. He was like the more power I can get. The more power. Listen, I get, that's what I agree with you. It's probably, he's probably young. Or he saw,

like in his guy's group chat, he was like, I'm going to go down on a girl tonight. What should I do? And somebody sent him a motorboating gif. And he was like, oh, that's it.

Or someone could have just been fucking with him. They're like, dude, you got to just how you do it. Motorboat her vagina lips. And he's like, say less. Yeah. Now I kind of want to try it.

I wonder what that way. I feel kind of kind of telling you like the noise would take. Okay, but when you do that, I feel it in my lip in a way that I don't like it. I am here for it. I don't like his head violently shaking. Right. Like, I can't, I picture it. Like,

yeah, that are I mean, yeah. Like that's weird. Yeah. Now that I just did that, this, this like is very different than,

brr, yeah. That feels kind of, I'm a little turned on by that. Like, just motor voting is, like, think of someone, what they do when they do when they,

put their head between your tits. Like doing that on your vagina. I don't know if I want it. What's her name? The girl? I don't know. Probably let him. Well, yeah. Well, no. I mean, I understand. Try, if you're listening, try diaper rash cream in your pussy. See how that feels. You guys do not put it. Don't do that in your pussy. If you do it post it, I'll repost it. You get on your finger. Are you a little turned on by it? It stops when your finger hits it. I'm a little turned on by it. You know what? We did, you know what? I've just remembered. I had a memory unlocked. We talked about this. You can't. You can. can't actually flutter your lips on anything.

The second you flutter your lips and you hit, it hits something, they stop. Really? I can't. Don't put it in there as far. Stop. I at least tap it. I just get a hold of my leg.

All right. Okay, let's do one more. I'm sort of turned on by this, but okay, tell us what you think. Well, the guy you took a picture of, maybe he'll do it. Little backsport. The guy you took a picture of that I caught you. I caught Raina taking a picture. Oh, Raina.

Raida was taking a picture of this, creeping on this guy that lives in the building. He's cute. He's cute. He's so funny to see me. I'm turning the corner and I'm like, is that Raina literally taking a picture of a stranger? Oh my God.

I literally stopped and I was zooming in. It was so funny. I didn't raise him the row. I think he's really cute. I saw the whole thing. He's not a bad looking guy. He's a cute guy. He's big.

All right. So let me tell you this last one. Okay, a little backstory. My boyfriend and I'm at college. We are currently long distance while we look for a place together. Anyways, he was down visiting me once for the weekend. We were getting to it, and I came in my underwear.

Before he left, I hid them in his bag as a nice little surprise from later. Now, this is where my question comes in. He will FaceTime me every night, and like clockwork, he will eventually end up with my panties on his face like a mask. I'm talking ears, eyes, through the legholes, nose in the front part, like he's being chloroformed. It's been two weeks. She lost me at the two weeks. I actually was kind of turned on by this, and I think it's sad. that a guy would like little strapped.

They haven't been washed, right? No, they haven't been washed. And he's like basically like strapping the smell to his face, which like, I think it's kind of hot if you like jerk off my used panties on your face. If it's more than a day or two now. Well, here's what I'll say. The only I can, not that I can relate to this at all, but when we were in London, Jazz wanted to tie her hair up and was like, I had no hair touch.

She was like, I'll be right back. And then she went into the bathroom, took off her underwear and tied her hair up with the underwear she was wearing. And I literally was like, walking around with a fucking boner in Piccadilly Circus. Like, you can't imagine. Like, I was trying to smell. Like a little thong?

Yeah, yeah. And she just tied her hair up. And I was like, I kept like smelling her hair. And she's like, I know what you're doing. I was like, I want to have sex with your hair. I actually doesn't wear underwear. She's not a part of the culture. So she doesn't understand.

So. Really? You just go full puss out? I'm, I'm commando most days. I like that. Okay. Very interesting.

I mean, I own some underwear. But I do understand your point and that it was just like the, her pher pheromones are like now they're above the neck so you're like getting whiffs of that. Yes, I think that's, it was a sudden. But here's my issue with this. The bit is old. Like, it's two weeks.

Like, the first time you put my underwear in your face was funny. Like, this is like telling the same joke for two weeks straight. I think he's like, like, jerking off to it. This is not like a joke. Yeah, but he's face timing every night. Like, it's, I'm not saying it's a joke. I'm comparing it to just a joke that gets old. Like, I'm like, for two weeks straight, I've seen my panties on your face.

Like, you can. do this privately, I don't need them on the FaceTime anymore. You're probably also faking a reaction now at this point after two weeks. Like, let's mix it up. Yeah, she should lie to them. Just like, listen, it wasn't come. I have a yeast infection. So go to the doctor.

It was the decetent. Yeah, it was the desolate. All right, Chris, well, it's been such a pleasure. Thank you. We're so glad you opened up to us about your journey today. There we go. Thank you. Chris, tell everybody where they can find you, your podcast, your specials, and your stand-up,

of course. Oh, yeah, I got my special on Netflix, Speci Westi, Chrissy Chaos Podcast, Hay Bay Podcast, and then ChrisD Comedy.com for all my tickets. I got Toronto, Buffalo, Long Island, the Paramount and Huntington, Long Island for New Year's Eve, and then a bunch in the South and December and January, so ChrisD.comedy.com.

Okay. Thanks, Chrissy. Yes. Great. And you guys can catch us on tour. Go to Girls Gotta Eat Podcast.com for tour dates and merchandise. You can follow us at Girls' Gotta Eat Podcast on Instagram. I am Ash Hess. Raina is Raina. dda.

Greenberg. We're also on TikTok. Follow us in TikTok at Girls' Gotta Eat Podcast. And of course, Vives only, Vivesonly.com, Vives Online, Instagram and Twitter. And we'll see you next week. Have a good week, guys. Bye.