Girls Gotta Eat - Choosing Me Over We feat. Kendall Long of The Bachelor

Episode Date: March 9, 2020

We had #BachelorNation favorite Kendall Long join us in the LA studio to cover some lighter topics (What do you ask someone on a first date to see if you vibe?) to the much heavier (How do you let someone you love go when your future plans don't align?). She opens up about her relationship with Joe -- meeting in Paradise, choosing where to live, trusting him on Dancing With the Stars, and the painful breakup they just went through, largely due to where they wanted to live. We also share our listeners' first date questions (and answer them ourselves), and recap more of our Australian adventures including the best hotels to take nudes in and Rayna's man mission. We hope you enjoy! Follow Kendall on Instagram at @KeyKendall88, and check out her podcast Down to Date. Follow us @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Ashley @AshHess, and Rayna @Rayna.Greenberg. Check our website for tour dates and merchandise. Thank you to our partners for this episode: Buffy: For $20 off all Buffy bedding, visit buffy.co and enter code GGE. HelloFresh: Get 10 free HelloFresh meals + free shipping at hellofresh.com/gge10 + code GGE10. Figs: Get 15% off at wearfigs.com with code GGE15 at checkout. Feals: Become a member at feals.com/GGE and get 50% off your first order + free shipping. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I want to be able to throw my husband or boyfriend into a room full of Victoria Secret Models and know that they would never do anything because they respect me. They respect our relationship. Like, that's a relationship I want to have. Back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Coming to you from New Zealand this time. We are sitting on an island at the end of the earth looking out of our patio at the ocean. It's really hot.

We've been together for a long time. There's no AC here. But if you're listening on today, March 9th, we are back. But as we record this, we are at the last leg of our trip together in New Zealand. And it's hot. Had muggy. No AC in this resort. I'm fine with it.

You know what? We're roughing it a little bit. Ruffing it. Luxury accommodations. All right. Oh, yeah. I cannot wait to get back. Well, we're back.

But, you know, right? At this moment, can't wait to get back and start cooking again. Get back into my routine. Sleep on my Buffy Comforter. All the things. Use all of our sponsors. Fuck on my Buffy Comforter. Can't wait.

I cannot wait to get penetrated. I'm being penetrated. Yesterday? Yeah. Yesterday. Okay. I'm sweaty. It's hot. We'll talk about it.

Okay, so we've been together for two and a half weeks. How's it been for you? It's been fine. I asked Ashley if she learned anything new about me on the trip and she laughed so hard. Like, what could I possibly learn? We've traveled so much together. Like, I can't imagine learning something new. I mean, I guess you learned the washcloth not too long ago.

No, but I knew about the watchtloff for years. I just never asked. I don't know how we still have shit to talk about. It's crazy. There's always something. Like today I like sent a text that someone left me on red. We've been analyzing that for three hours. Like there's always going to be something.

Thank God for men. Thank God for men. How could we live without them? I couldn't. We'd have nothing to talk about. No content. And this podcast would be over. Thank you, men, being so terrible.

If you all acted right, we'd have no life or money. I literally don't care. But speaking of I literally don't. care. Let's give a quick update on our literally don't care shows. At this point, I'm going to guess we have tickets left in Houston and Dallas. Maybe a few in Miami, probably not, but maybe you can check. And then maybe some left in San Francisco, Vancouver, Seattle, and Portland, maybe. Again, this is kind of far out. Check, uh, Girls'Gottypodcast.com or I literally don't care shows.com. And we all see you guys at the shows. We can't wait. They have been such a blast. I'm so excited to be

in the States in Texas this month. Guys, my dad is coming to the Dallas show. Watch me talk about anal in front of my dad. It's going to be amazing. Come. I can't wait. Our shows are a blast. If you're new to the podcast, come, wall out, drink, bring your girlfriends.

Houston, Beyonce theme show. Hope you're here for it. Absolutely. And then we have some summer tour dates coming up, some big shows and some cities we haven't even been to yet. I'm excited. I can't wait. Maybe we'll announce them next week.

I don't know. I think we are. We'll see. We'll see who gets their shit together. See our team gets their shit together. Well, let's talk about, okay, we needed to discuss something that happened on the technology front. We glossed over it last week because we had a lot to discuss because Love is Blind and all the things. We are hunched over one little tiny mic plugged into the computer.

It's a USB mic because we have a soundboard and microphones that we bring with us on the road. So it sounds exactly like it's supposed to. We literally bring the home setup on the road with us. We recorded in L.A. with it. We've done it before. we plugged the soundboard in. It's like a plug with like a big brick, like power thing. We plugged it in.

We're about to record the intro for last week in Brisbane and it just started to smoke. Smoke started coming out of like the brick, like the power thing and the smell. I think we both have cancer in our throats now. It was like battery acid smoke. We ran from this room we were in screaming. No, I'm just kidding. We had an hour to get to the airport. and we're like, we don't know what to do.

Like, this is our lifeline. Like, we don't have a backup microphone, you know, whatever. So we went to three different electronic stores in Brisbane, Australia. Nobody had what we needed. So when the last one, Raina is in the Uber, we have to get to the airport. We're flying international. We're flying in New Zealand. And I just, like, grabbed this one random USB mic they had for like $150.

And we ran out. And now we're both hunched over it. So it's the size of a small potato. If you guys want to imagine. I mean, I've seen dicks this big. You've seen a show. I didn't mean dicks this shape, but like the head of this is a, it's small. If your head is that.

For a microphone, it's small. Okay. For a dick, it's giant. No, it's a, it would be a big head. It would be a small dick. It's short. If somebody was pegging me with that thing. Feel nice.

That's butt. I think it would feel nice. We're both staring this microphone out. I'd shove this microphone up your pussy and tell me how it feels. Put this microphone on my ass and we'll touch base later. We actually, yeah, we ran all around the city and almost missed our flights just so that we could record this episode for you guys. So you're welcome. Well, last week too. Yeah. It's just been, we are back to our roots, both hunched over this little microphone. Um, so we, sorry, you don't like the sound.

We're trying our best. We did everything we can. It's this or no podcast. But we have a very fun interview for you guys that we actually recorded in LA in the W Hotel again in their sound, in their sound suite that we recorded in when we were there with Kendall Long coming up in a few. So we're super excited. We're excited. I want to talk about traveling with you and Merrill. Okay. I just traveling with other people. Because I think We talked to, we had a travel episode was two years ago. I think we covered a lot of stuff.

But I cannot recommend traveling with two other girlfriends enough. I loved it. I think it is so great. I don't know if this is like a hot tip or not, but I think it's really hard to travel people. And I think before you get on the road to somebody, you should ask them how they feel about money, what time they like to get up in the morning,

how much stuff they like to do. Because, like, I've traveled people that don't want to get up early that are really sensitive. They just would rather, like, eat a McDonald's and, like, keep it rolling, you know? Like, I think you've got to ask those questions because you really hate working, like, traveling with somebody. I really liked traveling through Amarrel because you guys are both such doers.

But you're not sensitive about like doing your own thing or if one person doesn't like to do something. Like I think it was really nice that like you and Merrill went to that like wildlife thing one day and I just did my own thing. I think it was like really nice to be with somebody who's not sensitive and like a brat about that. Yeah. I, we've talked about this. Like I think like I think four girls is a great trip. Like I used to travel with four, three of my other like really good girlfriends. We would do a girls trip every year.

And I love three. I've done three a lot. I think it's great. I think you don't feel pressure to, like, talk to the person all the time. Like, there are so many moments when you're traveling with a group of three that, like, if I need to, like, be on my phone or I need to do something alone, like, you guys are walking ahead talking. Like, it's feel like I just, I prefer it. I love traveling with just you, obviously. I've traveled with just one-on-one trips with girlfriends and, you know, boyfriends and whatever. But, like, there's something about just having another person that just, like, to break it up

that you're not just, like, relying on this one person to do stuff with and to talk to all the time and to make every decision with. Like, it just, it gives everybody a little less pressure, I think. Yeah. I'm a big fan. So anyway, that's travel tip number one. That's her, I mean, that's my travel tip. Group of three or four. I've never been like a big girl trip kind of person. I feel like I feel a lot of like sort of social anxiety. Like, I don't want to go to like, I don't want to be like a club with six girls. It's just not for me. And I've never wanted to do that. It's just not my thing. Yeah. So love that. I wanted to talk about some of the hotels we stayed in because people ask where we stay. We, we, we, we, we,

kind of partnered with this hotel group called the art series, and we stayed in the Olson Hotel in Melbourne and the Fantuzzo in Brisbane. And I will say, I love them both. The Melbourne, I took the best nudes I've ever taken. I looked at those. I was like, who is she? I didn't even know.

I just was fucking around. There was a mirror right by the bed. I took these nudes. I mean, I took, I mean, you know, I took them anticipating them who I was going to send them to. So, I mean, they've gone out. But just so you guys know, we have shared our news of each other. Oh, yeah.

I woke up next morning and showed you guys immediately. I was like, you guys, check these out. They weren't, there weren't like titties. But I was fully, but I was fully naked. But I was able to cover. Anyway, Melbourne cannot recommend it for the Olson, for the nudes enough. And the location is so great. We had dinner.

Chapel Street. And a really fun street. Yes, we had dinner at a great place and we were able to like walk home. And I think I just always want to stay somewhere like where I like the location. I'll spend a little more money always just to be able to walk around. Yeah, it was great. I think the area is called South Yara. Maryland I walked to a spin class from there.

We'd walk to restaurants and shopping. I shopped it up along Chapel Street. And then the Fantuzzo in Brisbane, I can say with certainty, is my absolute favorite hotel I've ever stayed. And I couldn't even believe it. I can't get over it. It's just under this fucking bridge on the water. The room is so sexy.

I walked and I was like, what is this bathroom? What is this bed? Oh, the tubs, the nudes I took in that tub. Guys, we can't recommend hotels for the nudes enough. I mean, if you're not taking nudes in a hotel, You're doing hotels wrong. It just, it had everything. The location was so phenomenal.

It was a million, like bars and restaurants right there. The staff couldn't have been nicer. The rooftop bar, the pool up on the roof. Yeah, you're just like swimming under this bridge. It's just, this is an area of what's it called, what's it called, Thomas Smith, Worves or something. Harvey Smith. It's brand new in Brisbane.

So, like, if you guys were listening to this and you live in Australia and you want to take a trip to Brisbane or you're an American or wherever and you're traveling there, like you have to stay there. Like, I don't even think we would have had as amazing enough time if we didn't stay in that hotel with all that shit. It's like there's this brewery and there's these restaurants. You just walk. It's like the coolest thing.

We woke up in a coffee, walked along the water. And then you could still get to everything else you want to go to. If you go there, just tag us and like let us live vicariously through you. Like we love it so, so much, but both those hotels are amazing.

So shout out to them. Yes. Thank you guys for having us. We really, really loved it. And we love giving you guys good travel tips. And then we went to drinks one night. Can't recommend the bar across the street

for them in town. It's, first of all, it's called felons. brewery. I knew I was going to find a guy there. Yeah. I just knew. And another thing I like about traveling with you is like, you're a good wingman. Like, you weren't really looking for any dick that night. I was not looking for dick on this trip. But also, when you had your eye on this guy, I knew the love is blind finale was waiting for me in my hotel rooms. Oh, you wanted to leave. I got it. I just, I saw this guy in the bar. I like sent an intention. I was like, I looked at you and I was like, I'm going to go

I'm going to date with that guy tomorrow. Like, I'm just going to. You guys, I just can't, like, hyperate enough. It really, she really got it done. She had looked at this guy. He looked like another guy. She used to fuck that she still thinks about. And only he was better looking. So he was like the Australian version because everything's better in Australia. Anyway, so you were like, that's the guy. And I was like, I believe you. You also were a good wing man. First of all, I would not spend how much time talking to a guy on vacation and then go on a date with somebody if I was on a trip with somebody for three night. It's like, I'm not a fucking asshole. So we were away for weeks together. It was no big deal

if I, like, hung out with this guy and I want to deal with him the next night. You don't care. Like, you couldn't care less. Yeah. Right. It's not like you and I went on one week long trip. We had plans every night and you like bailed on our plans. Like, whatever. I was happy to spend the night by myself the next night. Yeah. It was, it was great. Yeah, you like went out of a date. Just talk about it. We went to like a rooftop bar and we went to a couple other bars. And then we did what you do on dates sometimes in other cities. In other countries. Like, no rules.

No rules. It was, it got really dirty. Here's the thing. When we walked into our rooms of the Fantuzzo, we were like, someone's got a fuck in one of these. And it's not going to be me. You know. I moved the bed halfway across the room. I did it.

When I walked in that room the next day, I was like, smells like sex in here. And why is the bed in the middle of the room? No, it wasn't. I like started out the night. I was like, I'm not going to. sleep with this guy. Shut up. I did. You did not say that. Internally was like, I'm not going to do it. I don't need to do this. I thought the whole point was to fuck him. I just wanted to have some male attention in another

continent. But then I just, I just didn't. I did it at his apartment. I did it at our hotel. I did it everywhere. Yeah. He was great. And honestly, I feel like I've searched the world for a man who will degrade me in bed the way I need to be. And I found him. No shock. I found him in Australia. I found a man to really give it to me. in the most degrading way. Like, if you ever had a guy yell at you to just choke on their dick while you were sucking in? Are we keeping this in?

Yes. That's like the nicest thing that happened while we're walking out. Oh, God. Rada's been telling me some details and I, like, can't fully handle them all at one time. I've had to walk away. She told me something in the airport and I went to another security line. I was like, I can't. I feel upset because I get protective. I'm like, well, how could you let him do that to you?

I was on vacation. I don't know. I, like, hadn't hurt. from Raina the next morning. I went to breakfast alone. I was texting with Francis. I'm like, I haven't her from Raina. So that's either a good thing or a really bad thing. I looked at my phone. The next day I have this like slurry video of myself laying in his bed. And I was like, this is just so somebody knows who I'm with. And they just never sent it to anybody. It just left it on my phone. But now you have a video of him to masturbate to. He looked hot.

He's hot. He's hot. He don't pick up average looking dick. Guys, listen, he's from Tampa. No, he's not from Columbia. He just lived in Florida. allow it. For small. We love Tampa. I love nobody loves Tampa more than me. Literally nobody loves Tampa more than me. I talk about Tampa and the Tampa Marriott all the time. I, Brina went to talk to this guy and she comes back over and she goes, he's from Tampa. And I lost my goddamn mind. He is not American. But the fact that he lived,

that you open with that to make me laugh. It was very funny. No, but it was great. Guys from Tampa can fuck. Well, he's not from Tampa. He's from Columbia. Guys, we can't wait to see you in Tampa, by the way. Come to our shows. Come to both them. They're sold out. But try.

But anyways, yeah, it was nice. I really appreciated that you were like cool about it. You didn't mind that I like hung out with this guy at the bar for a long time and then went on a day with him. And I think it's just nice to like be that kind of wing woman. So I appreciate it. Yeah. Thanks. I mean, if you're on a two plus week trip with somebody, your girlfriend, your single girlfriend,

and she meets a guy and you act weird about it, I don't know. I mean, you just, it's, that's too long to be with somebody that you're, you should both be trying to get out there and meet guys. Right. What else are you going to talk about? Yeah. Like, I was like, I'm living for this. Well, I mean, what else will we have talked about the last 48 hours? Yeah.

Like, I'm going to, I'm going to go home. I'm going to watch Love is Blind finale. I'm going to face tune this nude and send it out. I'm having a great night. She's like, how's your date, but also Love is blind? It was great. So, yeah, Brisbane. I can't recommend it enough.

I can't recommend this bar felons enough for meeting guys. That's where the guys are. Like, that's, even from, aside from your dude, but there was a lot of dudes in there. Yeah. There are other men besides mine. Yeah. Yeah. And then we're in New Zealand on Wahiki Island off of Auckland.

We took like a 45-minute ferry out to this island. We're staying in this, like, lodge that has five rooms, and we're going to do wineries tomorrow. So that's what we're doing on New Zealand. Lots of our trip. We made it. We only got into one fight the whole trip. In public. In a bathing suit store.

I clutched the bathing suit the whole time. I never put it down. I just held it to my chest the whole time. Merrill just left. Merle left to walk down the screen. And then you just went in and dropped a G in the bathing suit store. No, actually, I'd buy it for you because your car got declined. Because MasterCard was like, this bitch did not just buy $700 of the bathing suits.

We found, well, you have trouble finding bathing suits. You have very specific body type. Huge boobs, small waist. You're five feet tall. Like you found the mecca of these bathing suits. You had to buy seven of them. you for seeing me. I've never seen this before ever my whole life today. It was a double D cup size with like a size four bathing suit. Never seen it my life. What was it called?

Well, so sun folly? Sea folly. But like, I don't know. There's definitely different brands. So literally you and me and Merrill all bought the same swimsuit. There was this one swimsuit that we all put on and it was like so sexy. It was so incredible. What are these suits? Raina just pulled them out of her bag. Sun Seeker? Well, they're all, no, they're all different brands. I forget the brand of the one that we got with some like Australian brand. We all got through about the same baby and so it was nuts. And we all could not look more different.

I sent a nude in that one too. Semi-nude. Yeah, not a nice, a bikini nude. My nipples were inside. I think I hate to call something that's not that you're clothed a nude. A thirst trap. Yeah, it was real trappy. We all three sent them.

Like we literally like that is some of the most like women bonding shit that you're all three in three dressing rooms right next to each other. Dead silent. Everyone's dead silent. But everyone's trying to send that shot. I knew we were doing it because no one was talking. All that we were like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then all of a sudden everyone's dead silent.

We're all snapping away. And we all took very different ones. Maril took one from behind. Merrill took one from behind. She's got a booty. Good for her. I was sexy for her. It was sexy.

I didn't know that Merle could do that. Good for you, Marr. Merle was so sweet. She just, like, walked away. We were yelling at each other. She just disappeared. We did. We had to fight.

We were on the spoof. Right outside the bikini store. We made up, though. It was fine. Yeah, it was fine. We wanted a quarterly fight. Then you bought me my bathing suits. By the way, thank you guys for your recommendations.

You really made our trip. Ashley and I put slides up, ask you guys for recommendations, and you guys hit it out of the park. I normally check like a million blogs and websites and travel sites, you know, that visit a city site that I like a lot. I'd never use any of them.

I just took the stuff that you guys recommended and we did those things. And I cannot thank you guys enough. I know. Like, that is exclusively how you and I travel now, which, you know, we have the luxury of having a lot of followers that give us content. But even if you have a couple hundred followers, like, and you go to a city, I think you should always ask. Like, Matt, my brother went to New Orleans recently and he did the question feature and he got so many good recommendations.

Like people are, if you have people to watch your stories, they may have been to these cities. I think you should always poll them. I think people love to give recommendations the places they've been. Again, people travel very differently. We've gotten recommendations that we're like, oh, God, we would never go there. That's tourist trap, whatever. But like, you start to see. the things that people say over and over and over and for the most part they're the best things like rain

and i do this i mean you did it more on this trip and i've done it more in other trips and you guys are amazing like all the american cities we've been to when we go when we tour and and all these cities we've been to just like the recommendations really hit it out of the park like you guys thank you guys you made our trip so great um all right that's it yeah well we uh again we've recorded this interview already we are so excited about it kendall is so wonderful. We really talked about some amazing topics with her when we recorded with her again at the W Sound Sweet in Hollywood. So I'm going to kick it to Raina to intro our guest. Yeah, I'm really excited to introduce our guest today. She is so fantastic. You might know her

from Season 22 of The Bachelor, Season 5 of Bachelor in Paradise. She has a great podcast down to date. Please welcome to the studio, Kendall Long. Hello. Hello. How are you for being here? It's so funny to see. you guys off TV. I know, right? You're so small. Everyone always says that. It's so funny. They're like, oh, wow, you're so much smaller than I thought. And I was like, I feel like I look cool and tall when I'm on TV. But yeah, I'm 5-5, so. You're very petite. And I understand every single mean, great we do, 50 girls, all 50 of them run up to me and make a comment on my height. Like, I had no idea how short I was. Every one of them. Oh, my God, you're so little. Yep. And to me, they're like, oh, man,

you're so big. No, I'm just tall. My favorite is the surprise when people are like, you're pretty in person. And I'm like, oh, hey. Well, it's interesting because they, it's almost like they, the TV shows you in like one way. Or you probably even like podcast too shows you in one way. And then people create like an image in their mind. And then when they see you in person, it's just. Yeah.

Like, this is who I really am. Exactly. I am small. We are happy to have you. Thanks for having me. I'm excited. You live here in L.A. I do.

Yeah, West Hollywood. So like 10 minutes away from here. And from here, like born and raised? In Santa Creda. Okay. So just like. hop across the mountains. Cool.

You do have big Cali energy. You seem very light. You're definitely not a New Yorker. No, no. I did go to, I lived in San Francisco for a bit, so I got a little bit of energy from there. But I feel like Los Angeles is more of like the chill city. Yeah. So yeah, I definitely encompass that vibe.

We love it. Well, I want to hear about your podcast because it's very interesting how you do it. You can talk about it. But then kind of explain how you do this and then I have some like burning questions for you. Oh, yeah. So my podcast is called Down to Date. Basically, it's putting two complete strangers into the podcast studio. And then I facilitate a first date between them to see if they're down to date. So it's, yeah, I just, I'm like the middleman. So how do you, how do you find those people? All over. So friends, friends of friends. I'll have casting lists where I'll find people. People will Instagram me and then I'll get people from other friends. It's just like a whole network, like a web of singles. And then how do you match them up together? So I have them fill out a questionnaire. And then from there, I like to make a guess of who I feel like would vibe together.

But I also kind of enjoy putting people together that I would never see together. Like just to see how they would act together in the podcast studio. Because the whole idea is that I have these questions that I'll use to get them to open up more about who they are to go beyond surface level, to have more in-depth conversations. So I like to see if maybe you didn't see an interest with that person before after getting to know them more. and like really diving deep than to see if maybe you thought you'd find interest in someone you never thought you would. I love this. And then like are people dating from it? Yeah. So we have, I mean, of course, like it's very difficult with success rate. But I would say there are like a couple people who are still going on dates when on second dates are still talking,

following each other on social media, which, you know, is a step in itself. So they're in the DMs. Yeah, exactly. So I mean, it's, you know, it's like more successful than I had anticipated. So you say you get really deep with them. We talk a lot about like first dates, what you should talk about on a first day, where do you go on a first date? So like you write a list of questions that are like different than your average first date. So like what are you asking on this first date? Well, so it kind of started where I saw this essay about like 30 something questions that'll make you fall in love. And I was so fascinated by it that I started collecting questions. I had this little notebook and I had friends collect them. So my goal is just to get to see, at least for me, my main

objective when I like to ask a question is to see how creative people are. So my favorite questions to ask would be if there was an alien space gun that you found that could grow something 100 times at size, what would you choose to grow and why? What answers have you gotten to that? So there's people who like the gold bar. Yeah, yeah, massively. My tinnies, got it. My bank account. Exactly. Good one. Why am I like a body parts and not bank accounts? You thought I was Jewish, but apparently I'm not. No, but I mean, a lot of people would say, like, a lot of people say like a gold bar or like a diamond, but I think more so like the agricultural route. So I'm thinking, oh, like an almond because you can make like giant almond trees. But then I'd think, oh, but no, you can't do an almond because they take up a lot of water and that would create like a huge drought.

So maybe coconuts. And you're like, think about it. So it's just interesting to like see what people's answers are. I love that. And I think we, you seem, and we'll talk about your previous relationship and stuff. if you seem like the type of person to me, even just from watching one on the show, that likes to go a little deeper with people anyway, like the small, not really small talk and things like that.

Yeah. And Raina and I feel like that too. Like we just hate that like boring small talk, first date. It feels like interview. It's the worst. Like if you can, people should use the, should listen to your podcast and like look a list like that and use those tools to take on a first date. Exactly.

It's really how you get a vibe for somebody. Yeah. I think the best thing to do is to shock people with questions because I think it gets so monotonous just saying the same exact things over and over again that why not throw something out there and you get to know so much more by someone's answer about how they feel about you as opposed to when you ask the surface level questions. So if I asked you if you could have a clock that can count down to any moment in your life, what would you want it to count down to? So if it's going to be someone who's interested in you, maybe they say, oh, I want to count down to something relationship-wise.

like what would be my next first kiss or what would be when am I going to get married. But if it's someone and they don't really have an interested vibe in you, they might say something like, oh, what am I going to get in my next house or something financial? You know, they see themselves individuals as opposed as like a team. So the answer like showcases a lot of what they want. You know there's women right now that are asking their significant others. If you had a clock, what would you count down to? And if he doesn't give the right answer, she's going to start a fine.

The day I get to propose to you. Yeah. If he doesn't say their wedding day, he's out. Yes. When I think about my best first interactions or first five interactions with somebody who I'm romantically interested in, those conversations are about like nothing, but somehow they're about everything. So they're not the conversations where it's like, where are you from?

Do you have any siblings? Like, I'm thinking about this guy who I met like around Halloween. And I met him at a bar and it wasn't like a, we just met in the wild. It wasn't like a set up date. Out in the wild, wild world of. Yeah. Neither rest were like drinking and he like looked at me and he just like walked right over to me.

and we just like bullshitted about nothing. And it was like, we just locked into each other for like an hour. And it was like such a pleasure. And I don't know that I ever asked. Like, where did you grow up and what do you do for a living? Yeah, it's important.

It's important. It's not listing a bunch of attributes. Like, you know, like I grew up here and this, this. It's like you want to showcase like what uniquely makes you you. And that all lies in the questions that you ask. Yeah. I was talking to somebody.

There was somebody I was kind of interested in a while back. And I told Raina, I was like, I don't even, we've hung out so many times and we've talked. And I don't know. anything about his family. And in this way, I felt like that was this, like, good thing because we had so much content and topics and things to discuss of all these times we'd spent time together talking that didn't even come up. You know, like, we'll find that out eventually. You know, like, if you're a couple dates into somebody or you're in one first, you're on a first day,

you're a few hours in, and you haven't even talked about your jobs yet. Like, it's going great. Yeah, exactly. If you've just been, like, vibing and talking about whatever else and those standard topics haven't even come up yet, like, I think it's such a great sign. Me too. Yeah, you're right. And all those things are important, all those things to, like, build your story. But, like, it doesn't matter. And, like, I think about this night a lot where I, like, met this guy. And it's just, like, it's just easy. And I want that with everybody that I date where it's just like, you don't have to talk about anything. It's just fun. And I feel like I know you just by, like the fucked up shitty jokes you tell me. Yes. And then if somebody doesn't, if you ask somebody one of those crazy questions and they are like, what? And they treat you like a weirdo, that's not your person. No, exactly. And that's kind of how I view it as well. It's like maybe not.

spring something shows a lot about who you are too. Yeah. Yeah. I think about that date I went on with that guy right when we started the podcast. And I was telling this story about how I watched Law and Order SVU as a little kid and how I couldn't sleep. And like I was in my mom's room every night. My mom was like, I don't understand like why you're in here all the time. And I was so terrified because I was like six years old and my divorced father was letting me watch Law & Order SVU. And when mom found out, she was so pissed. And that's why I was having like night tears. Anyways, it's like a funny story. It is a good story. And this guy lets me get, the whole story. It's like eight minutes. I talk a lot. And then he goes, you were afraid of

SUVs. And I was like, I'm sorry, what? What? You didn't stop me at any point to ask me what I, you thought this whole time, this is a car story. Yeah. Reving engines, intimidating. Yeah. That's when you walk out of the date. We never went out again. Do you have you, we can move on for this. I'm just so fascinated. And again, people can go listen to these dates. Have you ever had like one, like an episode go bad? Like, have you had to pick people be like, we are, we are, we each other. We actually the last one that we did, both people said they weren't down to date, which is the first time it's actually ever happened. I feel like normally people try to be polite and say, oh, I'll be down because they don't want to hurt the other person's feelings.

But my favorite episodes are the ones where people say no, because they're not afraid to be honest. Yeah. I'm just fascinated with these new types of dating shows, podcasts. Obviously, like, I love married at first sight because it's like these experts found these people before they met and now Netflix just put out that love is blind. And so I'm just fascinated by this, can you meet people, or can you connect with somebody based on these other things as opposed to just looks?

I mean, yours, you get to like meet them. Clearly physical attraction is still important, but in terms of like trying to get people to like go a little deeper. I love it. Exactly, where you put someone in a room together and you say, well, you guys have to like really dive deep and get to know each other.

And that's, and you find so much more attraction, I think when you open yourself up to an experience like that. I wholeheartedly agree. Yeah. So you fell in love in Paradise. I did in a mystical place called Paradise. Yeah, it was, I mean, the way I view Paradise is it's the ultimate place to find love.

Because it's on a beach, you know, like you could get tan. You don't have to worry about like jobs or anything. And then you have all these single people that you're around. And it's a really great way to like spark love without all the distractions of the everyday world. And lots of alcohol. Yeah, well, actually, there's a drinking. There's a drinking max. So you can only have two drinks per hour, which I think worked in our favor because, you know,

if you, I think if you drink too much and it gets more of like a party-esque thing as opposed to, like, really getting emotional. So I think two drinks an hour, though, is fine. Yeah. You know, if I'm sitting down for an hour, I'm probably having two margaritas, like three in an hour feels a little excessive. But then again, I mean, eight hours. I don't know, but I'll have, you can really do some damage. Four hours, two an hour is fine for me.

Well, I'm two feet tall, so it's a lot for me. Okay. you're in a scenario, there are no jobs, no bills, nothing to worry about, no exes, no parents. Paradise. Nothing. Paradise. This sounds perfect. So you fell in love in this.

Tell your story in case anybody is living under a rock, doesn't watch The Bachelor. Yeah, so I fell in love with grocery store Joe. And we had an interesting beginning with our relationship. The whole filming is around three weeks or like a month. So it's really an expedited experience. And I think that has to do with the fact that you have no phones. You spend a lot of time with each other every single day and you're put in these romantic situations. So you really do get to like exercise that romantic system in a relationship so much more openly than you would before.

Like I talk about this all the time where I was the kind of person that would run away and freak out when it came to intimacy or being in, not intimacy, but being in like long-term relationships. And then after being on the show, like they approach. like they applaud like, you know, being open and being vulnerable. And so that was something that I really took away from it where I was like, I can talk about marriage. I can talk about things that are serious without feeling like the guy's going to run away. Because where's he going to go? He's on an island.

Yeah, exactly. He can't run anywhere. Literally can't escape you. This sounds great. Exactly. So then Joe and I met in those circumstances. And then it was really after the show that we tried it out in the real world and actually really, really fell in love with each other.

And then recently we have split. but we still remain friends and really close. Okay. How long were you guys together? Like, a year and a half. A year and a half. Yeah. And on the show, you met like towards the closer to the end, right?

Like, it wasn't day one. Well, no, we met day one. But we kind of always had a thing for each other, but it really solidified near the end. And then we broke up at the end of Paradise. And then I flew to Chicago and chased after him. And he's like one of those romantic movies where you're like, I can't say no to this. Oh, wow. Yeah.

It was pretty funny. He couldn't see. He did actually escape Paradise. He was like running slow motion on the beach like after him. He's so hot. I would watch him. Never mind. That's her ex.

It's okay. He's a cutie. I definitely, I mean, you know, it started out with the physical attraction. Yeah, so there you go.

But I love all of stuff you said, I think there's a lot to unpack. One of things we were talking about before we started recording was this idea of like falling in love in untraditional scenarios or these paradise situations and Ashley likened it to like a long distance scenario where like, yeah, it's easy to fall in love, but how do you sustain that once you, like, remove all these, like, fun bells and whistles? And, I mean, for me, the closest thing I can compare it to is

a long-distance relationship as well, where, like, you're just on vacation with each other all the time. Yeah. That's great. It's kind of like you met in a suburb camp. And then you're like, oh, man, now we're going back home and are we going to continue to be pen pals and make it work? Or, and so that was a huge fear that I had. And the main reason why Joe and I broke up on Paradise was because I was like, how can this work in the real world? You're in Chicago. I'm in L.A. and I don't anticipate myself like moving to Chicago or I don't expect you to move

everything to L.A. because we are across from each other in the country. So that was a huge fear of mine. And then I just decided like, you know, why not try? And so that was why I chased after him. And then we made it work in L.A. for a bit and it was really great. I was definitely like, you know,

feeling like we were going to get married. So he moved here. Yeah, he did. He was on Dancing with a Star. Yeah, he's on Dancing with a Star. stars. And then we had talked and after going on tour, he decided that L.A. would be really great for work-wise and just a lot of what he was doing was in L.A. And so we had seen ourselves, you know, like living here, making L.A. like our permanent home. And so we were like

building that together. Did you ever feel like, I'm just curious. Like I always think about this. Like, what if I met a guy and I like moved him to New York? Because it's like my place, you know, like where I live, where I want to live. Like I'm close. Like I'm close. close enough to my family. I have friends there. I have like a whole life there. And I, did you ever feel like he was fish out of water at all? Or did he really like acclimate? Like, were you always fearful, were you ever feel for all that he was just like, that it wasn't for him? Definitely. Definitely. And I think that was something we talked about a lot in the beginning of our relationship, because I wanted to make sure that he wasn't just moving for me. And that was

really important to me in the beginning. And so I think that he had made a lot of friends. And I think that he had made a lot of friends on Dancing at the Stars, and there's a lot of Bachelor people that were in Los Angeles as well. And he's the kind of guy that can really get along with anybody. So he got, he had a lot of friends fairly quickly. But I think the one thing that was really hard that we did talk about was being away from his friends and family that he had just known his entire life. And it's something like you can't replace that. You can't replace like those hardcore like childhood friendships. Yeah. And his family's in Chicago too. Yes. Yeah. So and we, know, we're not going to, we really don't want to pry into your breakup. It's hard enough to

make you sit here and talk about your breakup. But like that you guys have since, you have made a statement that that was part of the reason. We don't need all the ends and outs, but was just this like being away from friends and family that he wanted to be back in Chicago, right? Yeah. I think that he saw Chicago as a place where his friends and family were and then also work-wise, like he just thought it made so much more sense for him. And so when we did ultimately they decide to like split ways. I think we both knew that we were, you know, really happy for like each other being in the place where they, we felt like we wanted to be. Like, for me, it wasn't so much moving for love. There was so much like more surrounding, like the reason why

I felt like I didn't want to move to Chicago, but for him, I think it was the right choice. Yeah. I want to back up a little bit before the breakup and just like the decision to move. And I think that it's great advice that you should move for other reasons as well and make sure that obviously you have some kind of foundation. And I like to think I would move heaven and earth for somebody I was in love with. But the reality is like Ashley and I have to live in New York pretty much. We could live in L.A. maybe for our jobs. But I love my life and I'm close to my family.

It would be really hard for me to move to the middle of the country in the middle of nowhere where I couldn't work with Ashley. I couldn't see my parents and I don't have like a base. So like what do those conversations look like when you guys were talking about, you know, we're back in the real world. We're going to live, like how did you make that decision? Well, and even like, sorry, even to back up before. that. Like we talked about you before we started recording of like, when did the conversation start?

Of like, are we going to make this work? Because you said you're a planner and you like to plan ahead and stuff like that. So kind of all of that. Like it sounds like you guys. Yeah. So did these conversations start early? Yeah, definitely started very early. I feel like they started in Paradise. And they really grew like as soon as Joe started getting dancing at the stars and he was in Los Angeles, which really allowed our relationship to grow so much more. Okay. So he came here for work for a little bit. Yes. Yeah, he did. And so it just made so much sense. for him to move to L.A. because he was already staying at my place a lot. And he had told me that he envisioned himself moving to Los Angeles, like even before we had even met. So I was like, yeah, this makes sense. Like, you know, like the wheels are turning. Yeah. And so I'm kind of like in my mind thinking, okay, he wants to be here. That's great. We'll build a life together. And so we did.

And for a while, it seemed like that's where we were headed and that's like where our future was. And I was really excited about it. I was Pinteresting wedding dresses, which is, it's not me. I'm not a wedding dress, Pinterester. But I was doing that. We all do it. I have like saved Instagram photos of wedding dresses. Like I don't even have a boyfriend. I couldn't help myself from doing that because, you know, you do have like this. And we met in such like a beautiful way. And I loved, I love the idea of like seeing that through and like having this love story. And, you know, it didn't work out. And, you know, that's just kind of how things are. But I feel like we have so much love and admiration for each other that we've been through so much. I mean, going through

paradise, going through like a public relationship. You feel like, you feel like, I feel like it's been so, again, like expedited. Like we've been through so much together. We moved together. We adopted a dog together. And so I can never hate somebody or have any resent towards somebody that I had such like a beautiful relationship with. Yeah. And you can't control how another person acts and feels. And I think that all you could ever control is your own preparation and effort. It sounds like you're, you are a planner, you ask the right questions, you look down the road, you thought to yourself, like, does this make sense? And Ashley and I talked about us on another podcast this week, but about like how I had this long-distance relationship. And I never was going to move to

where he lived. And I probably wasn't really in love with him. But it was fun for then, you know, and on the weekends, I enjoyed seeing him. But I very rarely said to myself, like, am I in love this person? Is this a long-term commitment? Do I see this? As somebody I will uproot my whole life for. And then it's just, what, you just do that for it? Like five months in, I was like, I don't care about this. And we're in a world now where it's not the female has to move for the male. Like, I think it's really important that females have their own, like, job and, like, passions that they're doing. And it should be more equal, you know, like, maybe a male moves for a female. Like, it's, you know, so I think that's something that is really important to me as well.

It's like, I do have, like, a huge passion here. There's a lot, like, my family's here, works here. Not to say that I would never move for love or move, you know, at all, but it has to be like the right situation that makes sense for me. Yeah. And just with Joe and I, it didn't make sense and I can't be mad about that. Yeah, or it's, or you're resentful, like, one part of you resentful. I never wanted to build resent. Right. Yeah. And so the reason why I chose not to try moving to Chicago is because I knew that it wasn't the right circumstance for me. Like in my heart, like, I felt like this just isn't where I want to be for a number of reasons. And I don't want to move there and build like a bunch of resent for this person that I've grown to love so much. And then a,

the relationship to destroy itself. And I just didn't want to watch that chaos. Yeah. I know. Remember when Kanye was like trying to get Kim to move to Chicago? It was like Kim Kardashian, Chicago. Can't see it. And we love Chicago, by the way. But LA to Chicago, that is. Yeah. You're an LA girl. Yeah. And it's very sudden too. So for me, I was just like, man, moving my entire life. Like, you know, how soon? So I was just like, it was just so much. Yeah. And I think that, you know, to advice to offer to people listening as like, bring it up early. It's just, you can't, if you, I fully am, Raina and I talk about this, the only place

I'd ever live this year. So it's really just New York, L.A., at this point in our lives. If I met somebody that lived in, I don't know, Denver, whatever, and he was like, I'm staying here. This is where my family is, my friends here, my life, my job. I just wouldn't even really enter into it, I don't think. Like, I think you're only really setting yourself up for heartbreak. I'm not saying that was your story because I think you guys had these conversations.

Joe moved here. He had opportunities here. You know, it was a little different. but it's just if someone, I was kind of seeing this guy, I didn't really see a future in Miami. It was more just for, so I could like get away there in the winter and get late. But like, he hated New York. And I was just like, we're not ever going to work. Not that I really saw a future, but now I'd know for sure.

But you're so right. I mean, actually, both people I like recently dated did not live in New York. And like one of them hated New York and never would have lived there. So, I mean, that just ended immediately. But another guy dated for quite a while, lived in Denver and kind of blindsided me with this conversation. but like in retrospect, I'm glad he did, where he was like, I live in Denver. If my jobs in Denver, my friends are in down, I'm not moving to New York. Are you moving here?

And I'm blindsided me in the moment, but I'm glad he said it because like, what is the option is to fall more in love with somebody? Exactly. It's definitely an important conversation to have. And he said, like, what's going to happen is we're going to spend more time together. I'm going to feel more things for you. And that's going to be even worse for me. And I guess I have to at least respect somebody who brings that up.

Because me, I'm not such a big player. I know. You will just like, be like, I'm feeling things. And I'm just going to go with it. Yeah, I just, I liked. And I think that there is a certain amount of lean into things, enjoy it, have fun that everybody should do. Oh, of course.

And when something feels good, I think that you should feel it. But I think that you should take a beat. Like, in my mind, I was like, I love travel. I can afford to travel. I'll just get on a flight every other weekend. Ashley and I can work. Or live by coastal. Just keep, you know, that's like always a dream.

That's not realistic. And I was never going to live in Denver. I love Denver. It's great. I live in New York. That's where I'm going to live. I have talked about this probably on our, podcast I talk about it all the time. How did you feel with your partner being on Dancing with

the Stars? Because I don't know if I could do it. They are so close with their dancing partner. I loved it. Well, so the way I absolutely loved like all the females that were on the show. And I never in any way like felt threatened. Yeah, if I looked like you, I would feel like that. Well, but they're so, they're all so like sweet and they're all in like really committed relationships. For me, Joe had Jenna. His partner was in a relationship. Yeah. So Jenner was in a relationship. Yeah, so Jenna was married to Val, who's also one of the dancers on dance for the stars. Okay, so her husband's around to all the key. Best case scenario.

But even so, okay, I want to be able to throw my husband or boyfriend into a room full of Victoria's Secret Models and know that they would never do anything because they respect me. They respect our relationship. Like, that's the relationship I want to have. And it sounds like you're secure enough that you're the kind of person that's like, he can look at other girls. That doesn't mean he's not coming home to me. It's also, okay, guys, I feel the same way.

But the experience that they have with that person is so deep. It is really magical. And then when you see them when they're awaiting, like their scores, I'm like, you're fucking. I know it. Well, I would always tell Joe, it was funny because Joe always made sure to be so respectful. But I would always tell him, I was like, you have to be more sexual dances. Like, dancing is sexual.

She's like, fuck them if you need to. Well, it was more so just like you have to feel it with your body. I mean, I love dancing. So I, and I did never worry about Joe at all with anything like that. We had a lot of trust. You have to have a lot of trust, like being in a public relationship. For sure. So for me, they were more of like a brother-sister relationship.

Even if there was a girl, which there's no girls on the show that would ever do this, but if there was a girl that was like really trying to get in his pants, I just don't feel like, I mean, please, by all means, like give me, like, warn me now, do something now so later down the line, later down the line, I don't have that temptation. you don't have that temptation, like, when it's irreversible when we have kids. Yeah, and you just seem like a very, like, are you like a spiritual type of person? Are you kind of, you seem very like, what's meant, you know, this, what's meant to be OB? Like, you don't seem like you're very jealous.

I'm actually very, I'm very, like, logical. Okay. So, I mean, I do have, like, I do love, like, the universe and spirituality and stuff like that, but I tend to think extremely logically. And so, like, logically, do I want to be with someone that I have to worry about? Like, no, not really. so I've always made it a point with every person that I dated

to have like if I start out with that confidence and if it doesn't if they don't live up to that confidence or that expectation that I have then I don't need to be around someone that makes me feel like I should worry right you know and vice versa

like they shouldn't have to worry about me either like you know I'm I'm a Leo fierce loyalty so okay in no way do I leave room for that I've never dated anybody I felt it would cheat on me the second part of that is what they put out into the world to the implication that, like, you know, photos with other girls, things like that.

And I think that it just sounds like you were involved as much as possible and you knew everybody he was saying. And even if he did like flirt with another girl a little bit, you still knew that that person like respected you and loved you was behaving in a way that, you know, honored your relationship. Yeah. I mean, he went on tour for a number of weeks without me, you know, and there's fans, there's everyone there, you know. Of course, there's temptations, especially with all the guys in the bachelor world. But, yeah, like not once did I ever. Was that ever an issue? Like, just, we talked about this with Stasi too. I'm just always, when people are in the spotlight, like DMs and things like that, like girls just like throwing

themselves at him. Not that you ever thought you had anything to worry about, but just was it ever even like an annoyance to you or did you guys have discussions about it? Um, like I'm sure he has nudes and his DMs. Probably. I have nudes in my DMs too. I've gotten some, exactly, some booties in there. But I don't know. I mean, I guess like after a while you learn to really just trust. You can't control outside factors. You know, like people could be running down the street naked. You can't control that.

That's just what that is. People could be sending boobs and butts in your DMs and you can't control that. So why would I get mad at him for something he's not controlling? Like I can only get mad for how he reacts to factors that, you know, he doesn't, he can't control. So, and he always reacted like in a very respectful way. Like never in a way that I felt like I had to distrust him. and vice versa, you know. So, I mean, of course, there's the crazy people who get your phone number.

And they try to, like, text and say, this person's cheating or always. So you have to deal with that, which I had never, like, thought would ever be a part of our relationship. But I think complete transparency and the fact that we would hang out with each other 24-7 was the fact that, you know, I mean, it just left no room for that. And I like to kind of move forward with that with all of my relationships. Okay. I had the idea of, like, jealousy over things that you can't control. Like, like, over him. I'm not saying that you were suggesting that she should be, but like, it's like, you know,

if you run into a girl that your boyfriend used to sleep with before they even knew you exist in. Like, people don't like that stuff. And I think it's, you know, you got to ask yourself, why is this such a problem for me? Exactly. Because it's the core of the reason why. Right. Like, why am I? Like, this is a you issue.

Yeah. Probably. Yeah, because like maybe you're envisioning, you know, when they were together without you. And like, maybe if you're envisioning it, maybe he's envisioning it. So, but, you know, I mean, for me, if I see forever with somebody, there's no way that stuff isn't going to come up. And there's no way there isn't going to be like, it's not like you're never going to think someone else is attractive ever again in your life. You have to be realistic and be communicative about that. And also

create a very safe place where they can talk to you about that. Because if they can't vent and talk to you about these things they're feeling, then who are they going to talk to? Or how are they going to exercise those curiosities? Right. And that's one problem's arise. I love the logical Kendall. I had a situation where I, with an ex of mine, we were in Atlanta. I mean, Atlanta feels like very small town at times. And we went on a date at this sushi place. The tables are like so close to each other, very almost like New York style. Like the tables are like six inches from our part. And we were, we were sitting. And then this couple came and they sat right next to us. I mean, I could have just like reached out and tapped this girl's arm. And I just noticed that her and my ex had a like, hey situation. And I was like,

they've dated. They fucked. Like you can. feel the energy. And I was like, this is bad. This is bad. Okay, I don't want to sit enough dinner with that person. I'm with you. I would want to leave. No, but I need to finish. So I just was like, women know, I knew immediately. And so I just excused myself to the restroom and hoped it worked itself out while I was gone. And then I came back out and they were gone. Oh, really? Because they didn't want to be there either. Yeah. Yeah. But like, I also just like, I couldn't laugh about it enough with my partner. And I think, you know, whatever, I was probably 30 at the time or whatever. And a mature person, maybe if I was 23, I would have somehow found a reason to be pissed or pouty.

Hopefully not. But I think, you know, some people want to be pouty about that. And it's like, how could you ever be mad about that? Like, how was he dated this person before we ever met? Right. We got a good laugh. But I always loved that story because I was just like, I'm going to excuse myself. Y'all figure this out. Yeah. You have to laugh about the circumstances. I got to tell you a story. I don't think I've ever told you this. It was so uncomfortable. Speaking of restaurants, I was with my current boyfriend.

We had had like a few drinks at different places. Long-term boyfriend was living with him at this point. And we're at this restaurant. We're sitting there. We're like, we've ordered drinks and like an appetizer. I'm facing into the restaurant. My boyfriend was facing me. I look up and my previous boyfriend who I dated right before that,

who I lived with, who cheated on me with all these girls, walked by, walked over to the table. He owned the restaurant. Oh, jeez. And, like, my boyfriend was so drunk and he was, like, telling him he was going to fight this guy. I was like, you're not going to fight him in this restaurant. We got in the biggest fight.

We had to leave. Okay, listen, I know I'm, like, saying how Zen you should be, but that was very uncomfortable for me. If they own the restaurant, like, yeah. And then he was like, how could you bring me here? Like, he doesn't think I'm an asshole, but like, it's like, there was a moment where he was like, did you know about this? Yeah.

Yeah, I put you in the situation. Weird flex. But okay. Wow, that's so crazy. Did you ever know he was going to do. going to start opening a restaurant or anything? Yeah. I mean, like, that one?

Not that one. No, yeah. Okay, I have to ask you this. You don't have to answer it if you feel uncomfortable. What was the situation with the dog? Ooh, so pistachio. You guys got a dog together. We did get a dog together.

We did an episode on this recently about kind of getting a dog together. Who keeps the dog post-breakup, this type of thing. I know. And that was the thing. Well, for me, there was no question in my mind that I was going to keep pistachio. And I think it was main, I think pistachio, made the choice for us. That's what we said in our episode. The dog has a person. Yeah, he was like automatically just drawn to me. And so, and also the reason why I wanted to get him in the

first place was for like an emotional support kind of dog because there is a lot of anxiety that goes, you know, I mean, I have a little bit of anxiety. We all do in this world. And so for me, I was like, this dog will keep me present. I'll be able to like take care of him. It'll be like a lovely family. And so I really like, and I've always wanted to adopt a dog. I do a lot with a dog rescues and I volunteer a lot. So I really wanted to be able to commit to like a life. And for me, that's like a 15 plus commitment. Like that's the, you know, hopefully knock on wood. That's like how long pistachio lives. So, um, and so I knew this going into it. And so, um, for me, like once I made that commitment, there's no way that I wasn't going to like be there and see through it to the end.

Yeah. So, um, so he's mine. Pistachio is mine. Almost like when you guys got him, it's even still was a little more like you, your decision. Yeah. And that's kind of, it sounds like that. Yeah. So the first day we talked about him moving was the day we got pistachio. Oh, okay. So that was so automatically for me, I was overwhelmed, but I was like, look, I'm going to just focus all my attention into my emotional security dog. Yeah. Emotional support dog.

Or like security dog because he does like growl at everybody that tries to hug me. Security. Yeah. More ways than want. Yeah, exactly. But no, he's been such a great help. I mean, for me, he's helped me find. so much more like closure and understanding because he requires so much attention and so much

presence. So I feel like I've been able to really kind of work through everything because of him in a weird way. It's like hard to kind of. Yeah. It's like comfort and just like you have to take care of this animal. Exactly. Like you can't just hold up and I meal prep for him, which I don't do for anyone. I don't even do it for myself. I'll do myself either. Yeah. So I do want to talk about the breakup and we'll do it as much as you're comfortable with. And something that I'm like really curious, you tell your own story. But something that I'm curious about, you know, I'll tell your own story again. But the gist of it to me is that, you know, it was an amicable breakup.

Just geography broke you guys apart. And I would love to know just like when those conversations even started. So it happened before New Year's. So it was a while. So we decided to kind of figure everything out before going public with it just so we can have our privacy and like really work through it together as opposed to having all these other factors in the outside affecting you know like having us fight and everything and I think that is a big reason why we're still amicable but but yeah so we started having these conversations before new years and

I think we both decided that we were he was going to move to Chicago and I was going to stay in LA before new years so we had like this period of time before going public and before he moved back to Chicago where we were kind of like in limbo breakup where we weren't completely separate, but we were able to kind of like work through everything. So yeah, it was, I think in a way, that's why we also got more closure because we were able to like, and I'm extremely logical again, if you couldn't tell by how I've been talking. But so whenever there was like a time for resent to come in to the relationship, I would always stop it and be like, look, like, I don't want to hate you. You don't want to hate me. We're good people. Let's just, this is. This is.

just like how it has to be. And so why don't we just like see like positivity with each other. So I feel like that also kind of helped. Was there months of him saying, I'm not happy here? That's I guess I'm here. Like was how did you open up the discussion of like how do we deal with this? I'm sort of not happy. Yeah, I think he I think the work part of it was always a factor for him and he always missed home. So there was definitely hints of that like throughout our relationship. But, um, I'm, I don't think it was enough where I thought, like, oh, this is like we're going to be moving to, you know, that he's moved to Chicago. And I think I really, the day we got pistachio was really like the first time that it was like a decision.

And so from there, I guess you could only, you can only kind of just roll with it and do what you can. We both wanted to be in different places. Yeah. And we both saw different futures for ourselves for like a number of reasons. And that just wasn't, that wasn't where, you know, we had thought about it like in the past. Like we had, when we first started our relationship, we envisioned one thing. And then there was a new reality. And because of that new reality, we couldn't be together.

I think it happens all the time, you know. And it sounds like you guys, I want to touch on communicating and being quote unquote friends. But it sounds like, you know, you guys had these discussions. And it wasn't that you woke up one day and he was gone, you know, like, and he moved to Chicago. Like I think people have horror stories about stuff like that. And you never saw it coming. and someone's like, I'm not happy, I haven't been happy for months. And it's like, what the fuck?

You know, like, it's just so, it's so great that this person that you loved and cared about, you're able to not hate them. And not that you seem like a hateful person anyway, but, you know, like. How could I hate someone who just wants to, who, you know, is being active about, like, their happiness. Mm-hmm. You know. Yeah. And so we were talking about this, right, I went to the bathroom, but that you guys.

Surprise guys. I go to the bathroom sometime. You guys, not, you're not talking every, all day, every day, like, it's not like, that, but you are still in communication, you would still consider him, I guess, a friend? Yeah. In the beginning, we talked a lot. And I think now it's sort of diminished over time. I think it has to kind of do that.

So now I'll probably hear from him once every week or a couple weeks. And I think in a way it helps to keep the relationship positive because you can overthink and over talk, you know, in talking every single day. And so I think that's something that a lot of like breakups experience. And so for me, I just wanted to like avoid the resentful talk and like avoid like being like to blame game. And so I think maybe having more space where we can all we can grow as individuals is the best way to go about that. Did you or him realize you were talking too much? Like did it did it where you kind of like this isn't going to be?

I think because people heal at different rates, it's painful to like talk to each other and like compare like the rates of healing. You know what I mean? So because of that, we decided to not to not really talk as much. I mean, that's what that is what's healthy. I mean, most professionals would say you have to cut the cord completely. I mean, it's just kind of, you know, you guys ended so amicably. It's hard. How do you not talk to your best friend?

Exactly. You know, like you don't hate the person. They don't hate you. It's tough. I just, there's no really great answer. I was just curious where your experience was. No, and I think now, like, not really talking as much has really, like, helped a lot with both of us to kind of like envision our future like without each other.

Yeah. How could you ever move on? Exactly. If you like keep having that crutch. Yeah. And I think that the crotch is the perfect way to put it. Like I think it's one size fits one for every relationship. But it depends on how deep the relationship went and how how angry you are at the end of it. But personally for me like at the end of a breakup, I have to get it out of my head that every time something good or bad happens, that's the person that I contact. And you have to keep reminding yourself like you have other people in your life, use those people. This person is no longer in my life for that. And it sounds like you guys had this amicable breakup where like it really was just that you chose yourselves over the unity of like, I was joking with Ashley. I was like, we should call it like I chose me over way. But that sort of

is what it is. And hopefully like that's at least something you can feel good about, which is that he didn't not want to be with you. He just sort of chose himself and you chose yourself. Which is like respectful. I mean, and that's, you know, and I think he had like so many reasons why it made sense for him, whereas I had a lot of reasons why, you know, what I chose was right for me. And so, I don't, I don't, I'm friends with some of my exes. Like, I don't feel like I ever have to hate someone that I loved. It might be easier. I think the thing is it's easier to hate somebody that you broke up with because then you

don't have to deal with it. You don't have to deal with the emotions because we're replaced with negative thoughts, which is a lot easier. Yeah. And you don't want to pick up the phone because it's not really an option. Exactly. So much. Yeah.

You want to completely self-sabotage. It's not the right word. But you want to, like, destroy any, like, way to like open yourself up to like that hurt again. Um, and so that's just not the path that I wanted to go with this. And, um, I think because we started out in such a really unique situation, we were able to, um, take those experiences and like realize like, look, this is, this is a crazy way that we've found each other. And, you know, and for us, it didn't work out. But man, it was like such a cool experience. Like, we found so much like joy out of like traveling and like

finding out, like, we would have never met. We would have never met if it wasn't for a Bachelor in Paradise. And I always thank, like, Bachelor in Paradise for that. Feel emotional. All right. Well, that's, like, a great place to wrap up. Do you have any other burning questions? No, I just, I love the takeaway is that, like, it's okay to, like, it's okay to, to, like, choose yourself. It's okay to not be mad at somebody. It's okay to feel like we can communicate a little bit, but we don't have to communicate all the time. Like, I just think that this is, everybody's always just like, what's the right thing to do? And it's like, I don't know, our relationship's different. Every person's different.

Yeah, absolutely. So what is next for you? Like what you got the podcast? Like what are you kind of seen? Right now I'm just kind of focusing on definitely the podcast and being a new weenie mama. He's a dachal mama. He's a weenie dog. Yeah. I always love like I have a weenie. But yeah, doing that. And I mean, I'm in LA for now it just makes much sense for me like for my future. So I'm just excited to kind of like see what happens and go for it. Amazing. Well, thank you for your openness and your honesty. And we really appreciate it. And I think you gave a lot of good advice that just applies to most people's lives. Yeah. Well, thank you. So we'll wrap up with you and we're going to stick around.

We do like a little like segment at the end of every episode. But we want you to, I mean, plug all your stuff. I think people know at this point. But your Instagram, your podcast, all the things you want people to find you. Yeah. So my Instagram is Key Kendall 88. I don't know why. It's just a weird name.

I've had it for like too long. So like now you can't go back and change it. Like your AIM. Yeah. It's like 88. It's like 88 is just my favorite number. It's not even the year I was born. But anyway.

So yeah, key candle 88 and then down to date podcast. I'm so excited. I'm going to like binge it. Yeah. Hey, if you have any single friends or if you guys want to come on, please. We will give you some recommendations. Okay. Well, thank you so much.

Thank you so much. So thank you for having me. It's been really fun. Thanks. Hi. All right, guys. We're back. It's just us.

And we have a really exciting segment to do to throw it back to what we were talking about early on in the episode. Guys, this is maybe my favorite segment we've done. So we were talking about first dates with Kendall and what you do on first dates, what you talk about. So we asked you guys what is a non-conventional question that you guys ask on a first date. I am so excited. I know, me too. You guys really came through.

We posted this. Honestly, we posted it from New Zealand. It was two or three a.m. U.S. Eastern time. So we thought we would get some like very funny, maybe like drunk insomnia type responses. But I don't know. they're all incredible.

So, yes, we're going to go through them, and we're going to answer them ourselves. I'm so excited. You guys flooded us. This is one of my favorite things that we've done. And I want to ask you what, okay, you're on a first date with somebody, what's your first date question?

That's not like a, you know, tell me about what you do for a living. Yeah, I don't, I don't know that I have this, like, specific question that I, like, pull out of my back pocket. I do always, I feel like I always want to know about somebody's parents.

Like, their relationship with their parents. I think I just want to know. It just comes up and what kind of music they like. So somehow those come up organically in conversation. And some of those, we'll see that people feel the same way. Lots of questions. Lots of questions about parents. Lots of questions about food, parents, a lot of murder stuff, some music stuff.

I always ask people if you could go anywhere tomorrow regardless of money or weather, where would it be? Yeah. Because I want to know somebody's travel style because it's like so important to me to know, like, are you adventurous, have you been anywhere? Are you like so pretentious about where you travel? like, do you want to do like an outdoor stuff? Like, I'm not like a camper. Yeah.

You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I learn a lot about somebody from that question. So I always ask that on the first day. But you guys are asked way more unconventional stuff. And I mean, if, you know, not to sound too elitist, but like, if you live in New York City, like, I got to know how you got there. You know, like, everybody's got a story.

You don't meet a lot of people that are like native New Yorkers. So I mean, that comes up organically, though. But, yeah. I like these questions because they spark. Like, I can see people like yelling at each other. Like, these sparks. crazy answers. You're five you don't a first date.

Some of them are funny. Some of them, I just think are like a really good way to ask a question without asking a question. Okay, so I'll tell you what it, what, okay, I'm going to start. You're going to start. What are your top five, okay, this is a tuper. This is two per. What are your top five states?

Okay. Or what state do you think is a myth? A myth. Yeah, so like Arkansas would be that for me. I never met anybody. But I think top five states for me is like, where do you feel most comfortable? Are you a Republican or a Democrat? who you vote for?

Like, I feel like I know who you voted for if you tell me what your top five states are. Top five states. Can you name yours? Um, no. California. Like, top five,

because, like, I just pick up by the city. Like, Chicago is like on my favorite state. I don't know, Illinois. Oh, yes. States. I mean, cities is easy. States, for me, Delaware,

New York, California, Florida. And, I don't know, Georgia. No, not Georgia. I mean, I live there for so long. I don't know, probably South Carolina, honestly,

because I went to Clemson and then, like, I love Charleston so much. Yeah. But, you know, I love Florida. Nobody loves Florida more than me. No, it was Tampa more than you. I love Central Florida. I love Southern Florida. But, like, here's a curveball.

Like, I, my dad lives in Texas. I really enjoy being in Texas. I love Austin. Like, Texas might be up there for me. But now I've contradicted myself because, like, obviously, I'm a guy loves. Yeah. What states a myth?

It's very funny that you said that. because I feel like people would say Delaware. Oh. People would probably be like, what is Delaware? I could barely name it on a map before I found you. The Dakota's. What is going on over there? You fucked somebody from a Dakota.

Wait, and on our, wait, this is very funny. You said that on our first date, me and this guy, which was this summer, he said he's from South Dakota. And I said, what's the deal with that? What was the quote? He quoted me like so much. So what's the deal with South Dakota? He told me, he was telling me about your date and he was like, she just looked at me and she was like, South Dakota.

What's, what's up with that? What's the deal with that state? It's just funny. It, like, sat with him that you asked at. He thought it was so funny. It was cute. I made him laugh a lot. That's my love language.

Thinking I'm funny. Okay, I have one for you. Okay. I'm excited. I just got to kick it off with this. This one's from Andrew Collins. Andrew Collins's first date question is, Do you know me from Girls Got to Eat or Nikki?

I know you from Nikki. Right. Okay, do you want to go? Yeah, I think this is like a funny thing I think would spark like a funny conversation. Why isn't it socially acceptable to drink beer with a straw? That's so weird. It's a thinker. I don't know because you're not fucking stupid and lame.

Who's going to, who even cares about that? I don't think that she's saying she's an experience. I think she's saying just like, why? Why are cocktails with a straw and beer and white are? Oh, I see. I don't think she's like hating on it. She's just saying like, here's a beverage that you would never put a straw on. I think it's like because of the experience.

Like especially with wine, you've got to get your nose in there and do all that. I think you're right. It's about the experience. It's about the experience. Beer to me is like this casual laid back thing. Like I'm just, I'm not fancy. I'm tipping it back into my face. I love this one.

This one's something you would ask. I love the way she worded it. Are you out here running 5Ks the morning of holidays? Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving the fourth St. Paddies. Are you out here? Are you out here? It's like that meme that says on Mother's Day, are you running the 5K for breast cancer? Are you a brunch? Well, and like my biggest fear, again, not our original meme, but I love the meme of like my biggest fear is marrying into a family that does 5Ks on Thanksgiving.

I said, people do that. Oh, yeah, like a turkey trot. Fuck that. I did the Peach Tree Road race with an X of mine, which is the Fourth of July Atlanta race. I love that experience. I would do that with somebody I was dating every year. But that's Fourth of July and then you go to a party. Yeah. Right. And it's like it's like a fun run. We did stop and have like a beer along the way. I don't know.

I go I can go both ways. I don't want to be like somebody that's so hardcore about anything. So if someone's like I got to do this 5K, 10K, we do it. Everything's giving. It's the thing. I'm kind of like, eh, I don't want to do all that. But if we decide to run the race at something, I'll do it. I go both ways.

I go both ways. I go both ways. I'm out here. Prove it. I like this question. I think I'd be scared to hear the answer to it. What is the biggest lie you've ever told a significant other? The biggest law you've ever told a significant other?

I wouldn't ask that on a first date. I just couldn't. I asked somebody once. If someone asked me on a first date, I would be like, please stop at. I would plead the fifth. So I asked somebody this question once, and I regretted it immediately because he told me the answer. I said, what's the worst thing you've ever done to a significant other?

He told me the story. I was like, you're a monster. I don't, it's a weird thing because I think, you know, I've done some shitty things in my life that I'm not proud of that I feel comfortable telling a significant other, but after they've gotten to know me and know that I'm like an honest, trustworthy person, I don't think you need to lead with bad behavior on a first date. Right. Contacts. Tons and tons of context. You're so right. It's just somebody even asked me, I was telling you the other night, somebody asked me on the first date, do I want kids? And I was like, I don't know that I want to talk about this right now. Like, can we just relax? Okay. What do you got? What are three things you keep in the freezer at all times? This is like a fucking family feud question. Meat, liquor, and ice cream sandwiches. Okay.

My daily harvest, promo code GGE. Yeah, a bottle of tequila and my jade roller. I like it cold. Wait, this is such an interesting thing because our answers are so different. Yeah. Me and I'm like. my skincare. Listen, if I were going to hit in the face, I can use that meat.

It's skincare. I also want to answer this. Would you rather have a personal chef, a personal trainer, or a maid? Free of charge. Okay. Yeah. Probably the chef. Yeah.

Like, I don't need a trainer. I like to go do my classes. I don't mind really cleaning. And I can always hire somebody and, you know, Dewey hates most, like, people that come to the home. like a maid or a super, a personal chef would be incredible. Like, that's how you like keep your shit together. Uh-huh.

What about you? It would be a personal trainer because it's like the only thing I'm not going to do for myself. Okay. I need somebody who's going to like, what my ass. I need Dale Moss. I need Dale Moss too, but. Different reasons. Okay.

I read this one to you earlier and you were like, wait, what? Are you a sock, sock, sock, shoe, or sock shoe, sock shoe type of person. This is so shocking because I didn't even know sock shoe, sock shoe, existed. I think that was an option. I think it's one of those like serial killer behaviors, but also like I also bite into string cheese sometimes and you think I'm a serial killer. It's wild. That's a good question too. How do you eat string cheese? I do both. I've really swing both ways at a lot of this stuff. You do. You bite peel, bite peel. You alternate. It's very weird.

I don't know a sock shoe, sock shoe person. I think it's wild behavior. I don't, I'm not saying I would run out of a restaurant on a date, but what? What are you? Who are you? Okay, but I've never seen anybody suck down a tube of string cheese. Like you know. Okay. What time is brunch?

10 a.m. or 2 p.m.? 10 a.m.'s breakfast. 2 p.m. is a little late. I personally don't like it. If I say brunch, I mean between 12 and 1. 12 to 1. 12 is a little early for May. I like, also I come from a starboard,

Dewey Beach mentality. Suicide Sunday starts at 9. You know? If you're in New York City. We got 15 hours to a last call. That's my favorite day of the year. They do start giving you last call reminders at 10 a.m. Best place on earth.

That is amazing. I think that tells you a lot about somebody's like workout routine, what time they get up. I'm more of like a 2 p.m. Okay, this one. I've seen people fight about this. Do you wash your fruit before you eat it? I rinse it under the water. Same.

Who's out of here not washing? heard people just don't. Those people have an insane immune system. Well, they have to coronavirus. We probably have it at this point. We've been in 19 airports. We should be allowed to come back to the United States. Okay, I have a question for you. I did a little research. So I'm going to ask you the number of you the answer. Is a hot dog a sandwich? Oh, this is tough. This is tough. I don't know. Again, like, I know I have such like staunch opinions on stuff, but I think I could probably let someone argue me either point. I don't have such a stonch. bunch of opinion on this. Like, it is a piece of meat on some bread, but it's a roll on a roll. It's like a tube on a roll. But what, it's just its own thing, you think? I'm going to blow your mind with this. Oh, my God. Okay. Sandwich is starch on top and the bottom, not connected. Obviously a sandwich, right? It's filled. Starch connected on the bottom with two opposing sides is a taco. A hot dog's a taco. Therefore, a hot dog is a taco. No. Now,

Now I'm pissed. I dare someone to tell me a hot talk is a taco on a date and let me war out of there. How dare you? I dare someone to say, did you know a hot dog's a taco? I'm out. Benmo me for my portion. And then any food fully enclosed in starch is a calzone. So an arepa is a calzone.

Epinadas or a calzone. Okay, look, I get it. I'm not going to believe it. Hot dog is a taco. I can wait to tell you this. Oh, my God. Okay. I love this one.

What's your karaoke song? I'm going to throw a curabaw. I just don't like karaoke. You never do karaoke. But that's still a good question. I think it's a great question. You find out about people. Yeah, you find out that I'm not fun.

No, stop. I always I usually do I usually do shoot and I've done I really like Pat Benatar Like I love like hit me with your best shot or love is the battlefield And I'll duet Starsborn Shallows all day White girl shit

This girl is so funny she wrote too Do you think women's professional soccer should be paid as much as men's soccer? Good question But also were you abandoned as a kid And if so how often do you go to therapy? I mean, whoa. I do want to know about your abandonment issues. I do not ask them in a first date.

No, two negative. And yes, women's soccer. First of all, the women's soccer team is like the better, like the more popular team anyway. Like the U.S. women's soccer team, I, of course they should be getting, they should be getting paid more, honestly. I like this one. If you were to kill someone, what method would you use? Okay. I don't know.

I don't like murder and torture that much. Poison. Poison. Yeah. I just, it can't be physical. I'm two feet tall. What am I going to do? I couldn't kill somebody unless they were like trying to kill me.

And then I think I would want to shoot a gun. Ooh, okay. I just like quick and easy. Look, guys, I hate guns. I wish we didn't have any guns. It's fun to shoot a gun. Ashley Hesledon. Democratic extraordinaire.

It's fun to shoot a gun. Well, no. Mike Feeney, you can probably go watch it on his, on his, uh, he is probably on his Instagram or his TikTok nowadays. He has a very funny bit about it, how, like, we shouldn't have guns because they are too fun. Like, it's fun. I've always said, I love to shoot a T-shirt cannon, same thing. That's true, though.

Like, in any, like, safe, enclosed area, I guess it's fun. A lot of these are, like, the stuff I like to ask. Are your parents still together? Do they still like each other? What's your relationship like with your mom? Someone wrote that I loved, like, when was the last time you spoke to your parents? Not, like, I mean, geez, that sounds a little dark, but as in, like, how often you talk to your parents? That's what it was.

How often you talk to your parents? I think you're going to get an answer out of somebody. No one's going to be like, I talk to my mom on Tuesday, and that's it. You know, you're going to get a feel for like what their relationship like is with their parents. Again, like, some people might feel uncomfortable answering this. Some people don't have both their parents or any parent. And, you know, but that'll tell you a lot about a person. I love that verbiage.

Somebody asked this question. It's the same thing, but this is worded better. Somebody said, how much do you love your mom? Because too much is too much. Yes. So I think this is a great one. way to answer it because when I think about it, I'm like, okay, well, I talk to my dad every day and I talk to my mom maybe once a week. And there's a reason for those things. And it's because of the way I was raised and which parent I'm

closer with and who I have like a deeper relationship. Like my dad and I talk about the weather and what I had for lunch. My mom and I talk about really deeper, heavier stuff. So it's a longer conversation less often. Yeah. Like you're right. It invokes a lot more thought. I love it. I'm very interested. Like my number one question is probably like, what's your relationship like with your mom? I just, I got to know. This one I love. Okay. So a lot of them were like, political stuff. Some girl said she likes to ask who you voted for when she's on top. Love that. Then they say Trump and you do what?

You just leave. This one, I love this. This is a great way to kind of see where somebody leans politically without just straight up asking. How do you get your news? Oh. Isn't that a great way to ask? I love that question.

I mean, if they say Fox News, you know. That's so interesting. And I think also people like, I like people, I like to know how people consume news. I get almost every single breaking news. item I've ever heard of I got from Twitter. I mean, I just like get my news on Twitter. I see what's trending. Like, you said something about the market crash other day and I was like, it's not on Twitter. It's not real. Like I just, I love seeing what's going on in the world, I mean, the whole world and what's trending on Twitter. So I start there and then I start reading articles from there. And then Twitter like compiles all them into their like Twitter moments. I just, that's where I get my news. I think it's really, it says a lot though. Like you're so into social media. Of course you get it on Twitter. Like I used to get it on like an app. But now I get this email every day called Need to Know, which is like the scam. It's my favorite thing. It's the top 10 articles. You guys should absolutely subscribe to it.

But I would think it was really interesting if somebody read that every morning. Yeah. That you're so right. It's so interesting to me. Also, we've talked about having the girls from a skim on. I think that'd be really interesting. Maybe closer to election time. Yeah.

Okay, I have a question for you. Because I asked you earlier, but I need you to explain to me why this is a thing because I don't know. Is Die Hard a Christmas movie? Oh, my God. Yeah. This is such a debate. Why? I don't know why.

Because I don't know. And I also don't know where people lean. So diehard is an action movie. It's like an iconic action movie, but it is around Christmas time. And I remember watching it kind of around Christmas time. And again, like everybody's dying. It's like such a intense, aggressive action movie. But it's got Christmas vibes.

But people cannot, people that love Die Hard and love Bruce Willis and love action movies cannot call it a Christmas movie. I think they can't reconcile that in their head. I'm trying to, I'm trying to, I had an exit maybe watch it. I'm trying to think what his stance was. I think he thought didn't think. it was a Christmas movie. And I was like, this feels like a Christmas movie.

Oh, you think it's a Christmas movie? I can't even reconcile it on my head. I get it. I get why people can't call it a Christmas movie because you hear Christmas movie and you think like Home Alone, Elf, you know, Mir upon 34th Street, not die hard. But it's about Christmas. I can't answer it. I think it's a great question.

It's a good debate. It also, I think that'll tell you about somebody's family. Like, do you spend holidays with your family? Do you go with somebody else's? Okay. I don't know if you know this about me. Wow. What was your childhood nickname and why?

I didn't really ever have one. Like my brother calls me Ray. My mom calls me Rainey. But like I've never had, I mean, not to my face. Oh, oh, you know what? I know what it was. I take it back. When I was, I don't know, in middle school or elementary, I don't remember when,

Lorena Bobbitt, remember that story where she cut off her husband's dick. Yeah, right. Do I remember? People call me Lorena and I used to cry. It hurt my feelings so bad. Lorraine. I don't even think I fully understood like what sex was at the time. Like why someone would chop a dick off?

Like now I understand. Okay. Also that great documentary. I hope everybody's seen it. It's such a going to watch. The Lorena Bobbitt won. You saw watched it. It was last year.

I think it's Netflix or Hulu. Maybe. So good. It doesn't. Oh God. It's so good. It doesn't ring a bell. She's amazing.

The person of Lorraine of it? Raina Bob, it's incredible. You got to watch this documentary. You haven't watched it? No. Why is she so incredible? She became this advocate for women. After she chopped her man's dick off.

Yeah, but like, you know, she was like abused. Right. Nobody wakes up and chops a dick off. Yeah. But then like he like still writes her letters to this day. It's wild. Like he's like a, he got into porn. I forgot all about his porn career.

That I know. His penis enlargement. He's just like such a loser now and she's like this really great women's advocate. It's a beautiful story. Anyway. This is so embarrassing. My dad used to call me. It was the full nickname was Squiggle Bear.

Okay. And the nickname of the nickname was Squiggs because I would squiggle away whenever anybody tried to touch you. It's based on the fact that you are like so prickly and he picked like the most ridiculous, like soft name. It's soft like baby poo. Like everybody would call me, he would call me squicks. Squiggle bear. I love that. I'm just starting you that at Christmas. I'm going to write this day. I'm going to set a calendar reminder to call you squigs in front of your dad.

And Max was Maddie Choo? I don't know. Oh, yeah. I did know that. Why is that? I don't know. This is so fun. Sorry, this is such a long game, guys. We hope you like it. Oh, this was a good one. Do you set an alarm on weekend mornings? Oh, I mean, I get, whatever. We joke about how we like, don't work and like, whatever I don't work out. I get up at eight every morning, so I don't really need, like, to, no, absolutely not.

do you um if i have something to do i work out sometimes but i enjoy not sending an alarm yeah so i just i don't know that i could be with somebody that had to set an alarm every day like sometimes you just got to like i don't really like a partner that wants to like that can't lay around and lounge in bed like i don't like the like i got to get up and start my day like i really i can appreciate people like that they're like there's kind of like a go-getter type thing which i'm type a too but like i like i like to lay around with my partner in the morning. I want to cuddle and like, you know. Same.

I just, I mean, there's always a balance. We talked to this question before. I always ask it within the first three dates. I think it tells you so much about a person. What were you like in high school? Because I just think like so many insecurities, so many of our like sexual drive, so much of like what we want and like comes from like, were you a nerd? Do people like you?

Do people pick on you? Like, were you slutty? You know, I just, I find it fascinating. Yeah, totally. I love this one. Are you a picky eater or just like knowing about someone's eating habits? I think honestly like whether I mean to or not that comes upon a first date. So it is something I really want to know. Even if we're not eating on first date. Like I love knowing that about somebody. I pick eaters. I can't do it. I'm not saying it's like such a deal breaker. But I don't know. I was raised to like try everything. And you know, we were forced to eat our vegetables and try all this different types of food. And so I want somebody that I love going out. to eat with somebody and having all types of cuisines and traveling and stuff. I don't know. Picky eater would be tough for me. I've never dated it.

I just, I mean, it's okay if there's certain things you don't like. Like, I don't order a ton of red meat. I don't really like Ophal, which is like the insides of an animal. But like,

I've never dated anybody. I don't know if you have that, like won't share a bunch of stuff. Like I just want to sit down and order like four or five dishes. I want to pick it everything with you. Somebody who's weird about that. Yeah. Oh,

oh my God, something that wouldn't share. Yeah. Somebody that won't share. Yeah. Like, I've never dated anybody that was, like, a vegan, a vegetarian, like, no crazy restrictions. My ex, my, like, long-term ex. He wouldn't eat, he didn't like cheese, which I didn't like that made it really boring.

And cheese and seafood. Oh, so that guy in Miami I dated didn't like cheese. Oh, my God, wait, cheese and seafood. Uh-huh. All the best things. What? Neither of them. Neither of them talk during sex.

Guys, this one, I got to call it out. Do you put ketchup on your eggs? If they do run, no. Heseltine is putting ketchup on his eggs his entire life. He's a wonderful man. He's engaged to a wonderful woman. It doesn't have to be a red flag. I disagree. Why is it a red flag? I don't know. I put hot sauce on eggs. I always say it wrong. Chalula or Chahula? Which one is it? Chehuli. I'm kidding. That's not the artist. I put a hot sauce. People put a lot about Beyonce. Really? Like, I could not, hands down, absolutely will not, could not date somebody that did not

recognize Beyonce's talent. If you say Beyonce is overrated, bye-bye, you don't have to love her, you don't have to listen to her music, you don't have to have her albums. If you can't recognize that she's the greatest living performer of our entire lives, I can't date you. Like, I have dated a couple guys that weren't like big Beyonce fans, but they were able to be like, she's incredible, you know? Yeah, I mean, if you say she's overrated, I'm like, you're racist and I'm out. Also, you're just boring, okay? You're fucking boring. I have a follow-up question for that.

It's a two-parter. I asked you this, but then the follow-up, I like to. If you go to three concerts for somebody who's dead or living, what would it be? And also, during a concert, do you sit or stand? Oh. It just depends. Like, I like to experience concerts in a VIP area with a bartender and catering and I'll stand. I'll sit if someone is my chair.

No, but like if it's... That was funny. You know, like, you get to a certain age. We're in our 30s. Like, if I'm doing a music festival, it's in VIP. That's not a pretentious thing to say. Like, I think you... I've gone to so many concerts, stood, been in the GA.

Like, it is what it is. But, like, you know, you reach a point where you start doing things VIP style and you can't go back. So, like, I don't want to be in a huge mass of... I'm in my 30s. Like, I just can't be in, like, a crowd and, like, a mosh pit anymore. No, people look at us and they're like, why's our mom here? Yeah. Why is her mom here?

Can you buy me some alcohol? Like I can't. So I, if it's a, if it's, I really get into music. Like I've still, like one of the best times I have was gov ball a few years ago. And it was like Eminem 50 Cent came out. We saw churches and like, I mean, we were in the VIP, but I was like up the whole time. Like I don't want to stand to be jostled around in a crowd.

I want to like, but if I'm in, if I'm at a concert and I love the artist I'm standing. We saw Beyonce in Philly. I mean, we were up the whole time. No one was sitting. It depends on the venue and it depends on the artist. Jay Z. Beyonce, we were up the whole time. But we saw Gwen Stefani in Las Vegas and we sat the whole time. Yeah, we see. She just wasn't like that high energy.

Well, and a venue's part of it. Yeah. Like, what's the venue like? Like, that was a theater in Las Vegas. It felt more like you sit. There wasn't like a big pit. Yeah. Yeah.

Do you have your artists? I don't know. I would have loved to, like, go to Woodstock. Like, I don't know that I want to be at Woodstock. I'd like to, like, hover above it, like, in the sky and just see it. I don't want to be in it. I have seen most of my, like, most iconic artists that Tom Petty was on my list for a while. And I saw him at Hangout Fest a few years.

back. It was like really special. Beyonce is my favorite performer all time. I've seen Rihanna. I'd love to see Drake. We were supposed to go see Drake. Yeah, I'd like to see Drake. I don't know if there's any like really older like people. I don't like like so much old music. Tom Petty was one that was on my list.

Here's the thing. So that guy that I've been like on and off, his like favorite thing is live music and these like mid range venues like a couple hundred people like a rock band standing at a bar. It's my nightmare. Yeah. for me. I don't want to do it. Like, it's like his favorite thing. He does like two, three times a week. Like, that's a specific type of person.

Like, if somebody says to me, live music is my favorite thing, I'm not going to do. Yeah. And if someone says, I don't like to go see comedy again, I can't do that. It's like kind of what people are into. Yeah. Okay. The music related, what is your walk-up song? I'm glad that you ask that. So if you're, you know, sports, whatever, like baseball, if you're walking on stage, if you're a performer, like, what is your walk-up song?

Okay, mine is Lowell Wayne right above it. That's what I always wanted. I love it. It's the theme song for ballers. I just like I love it so much. I feel like you can really like throw your hands up in the air and like slow walk to it. Yeah. It's great.

Yeah. Mine's Diva. By the essay. I will do the original version, but Diva from Homecoming, Coachella, Bechella is my favorite song. Excellent choice. Every once in a while I'll do a show where I get a walk-up song, the Starbird, for example. And I love the DJ at the Starboard when I do the comedy show every summer. And, like, it's so funny because I think it's DJ Mani M.

He asked me this past summer. He's like, what song do you want to walk up to? And I was like, Diva. And he was like, okay. Like, I just knew it immediately. Like, it's the best. Well, out of your mouth. Nobody's shocked by that.

It's so good. I love it. Is this a good place to wrap up? Yes. I could do this forever. People ask about anal. Do you eat ass? That's crazy stuff to ask on a first date.

But live your truth. Somebody asked me on a first date this week. Yeah. Well, you had a different time. Well, we talked about it. What's your favorite movie quote and pray they quote Will Ferrell? You got to, yeah. If it's not old school or something like that, get the fuck out of here.

How many times, no, you know what I, you know what I probably use the most? Old school or stepbrothers. It's stepbrothers always. If a guy is quoting stepbrothers with me or super bad on a first date, I'm like, we're there. Or old school, but you know which one I probably quote the most is, oh my God, I love Josh. I love Josh. I see that a lot. I love it.

Do you return shopping carts? Ooh. Yes, always. I think it's so fucking rude not to. My dad, one time I was at a grocery store, I was like maybe seven years old, and I like picked up something, walked three aisles, put it back. My dad yelled and he said, we don't make work for other people. And I never forgot that. And so I just would never not return it.

It's just whether your parents told you or not. This one is, I just thought this is very funny. What's your favorite body of water and its characteristics? This reveals how they view sex. Is this true? I guess because some waters are more calm and some waters are like more beautiful and some are cold, some are hot. Like, I don't know.

What would yours be? The beach in Delaware. Favorite body of water? I don't know. Like the tub at the last hotel we stayed at? I don't know what to say. The Atlantic Ocean, the Pacific Ocean, the Gulf of Mexico. I like them all.

The Mediterranean Ocean. Is that an ocean? Yeah. I like it over there. I don't think this says anything about how I am during sex. Like, okay. I just, that was funny. How are you doing sex? Um, which ocean likes dirty talk the most? Which ocean likes you to tell it that it's pretty the most? Which ocean is the most complimentary? I guess not even ocean. It could be a lake. Which body of water? Which lake are you? Which puddle do you like the most? Let's end it on puddles because we started with Andrew Collins. Oh my God, full circle. Okay. I love this so much. I love talking about myself so much. I think you guys are so amazing. These questions are incredible. two o'clock in the morning. Yeah.

She just came out. Never let us down. We'll, we still have so many more. So we'll have to do this segment again. And thank you guys for listening. We hope you enjoyed this episode. Get tickets to our I literally don't care shows at I literally don't care shows.

com or girls got eat podcast. com. Follow us Instagram. Girls got to eat podcast. Me at Ash Hess. Raina at rena at rena. combeck. Twitter,

Girls underscore Got to eat. And we'll see you on the road. Bye guys. Have a good week. Bye.