Girls Gotta Eat - Confirmed Bachelor feat. Derek Peth

Episode Date: September 9, 2019

It's the most dramatic two-on-one date in Bachelor history: Rayna, Ashley, and Derek Peth. Ok, so maybe it's not that dramatic but we do get deep with the #BachelorNation favorite. We discuss playing hard to get, dating multiple people at once, virginity/condom mishaps, thirst trapping on Instagram, being known as a crier, and much more. And of course we're answering your burning Bachelor questions (most importantly about drinking/eating/f*cking on the show). We hope you enjoy! Follow Derek on Instagram @PethDerek or just Google him. Follow us @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Ashley @AshHess, and Rayna @OneHungryJew. Check our website for tour dates and merch. Thank you to our partners for this episode: Fabletics: Get 2 leggings for $24 ($99 value) when you sign up for a VIP at fabletics.com/gge. Native: Get 20% off your first purchase by going to nativedeodorant.com and entering promo code GGE at checkout. Figs: Get 15% off your first order at wearfigs.com and code GGE at checkout. Buffy: For $20 off your Buffy bedding, visit buffy.co and use code GGE. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There's boom boom rooms and either way, they have the AC in them. So that's where... All I would be doing was fucking. Like, if that's where the AC is. Or do you just go there, you pretend like you're going to... Masturb. So I'm in the boom boom room masturbating.

But the first episode in our new studio of Girls Got to eat podcast. My home. It's only a studio to you. I love it so much. New apartment. New apartment alert. It's so beautiful.

I can't believe you live here. I walked through a courtyard to get here. here. I don't belong here. I don't like I did. I mean, the stuff that's already happened, like, they're like, how to just scroll get in here. But we made it, fam. We're here. We made it. and we're about to let someone else in here. We're not to let someone enter the new studio. penetrate the apartment. Okay. Actually, like, spoiler, we already recorded with him. Yeah, he just laughed. Um, so we recorded. We already recorded. Now we're going backwards and doing the intro. So you guys get a really timely intro. This is like the day before the episode drops.

You guys are real excited about this guest. Yeah, you're in for a real treat. You have all DMed us about it. So we have a great episode. We have Derek Path from Bachelor Nation on the show today. So we posted them on our stories and stuff like that. You guys are wild for this man. You especially got a ton of DMs.

Everybody's like, oh my God, one of you has to fuck him. He's so hot. Rana, you have to fuck him. Please fuck him. Oh, my God. The amount of you that DM me, girl, I'm working on it. Relax. He's working on this for a while.

But I am so excited. This is our first episode recording and we have a guest. So he is worthy of the apartment. Finally. It took someone really special before we would allow the apartment legs to be spread. Not really. I've been here a week. But yeah, I don't know.

I don't want to disappoint you guys. No one did. No one fucked Eric in this apartment. No, he's just a nice boy from Iowa. Yeah. That's all. I'm, yes, you guys are so crazy. But speaking of fucking in this apartment,

there is something I've been wanting to tell you. Okay. When I went to Atlanta a couple weeks ago, I went to Kelly's Modern Mystic Shop. You know, we've had Kelly Knight on the show, and she has this great shop in Atlanta. And she was like, what do you want in your new apartment? Like, what do you envision?

You want health, wealth, success. I want to give you like a rock or crystal or a stone or something. And I was like, I want to get laid a lot. And she goes, Okay. And she was like, she gave me a stone for sexual prosperity. I have to tell you. I was looking at, okay, so guys, like full disclosure, we make like, no, it's about what we want to talk about every day. And one of the notes is sex rock. And I won't ask her. I'll just find out. Because we have a shared doc that we both jump stuff into.

And I was like, I'm not even going to ask what this means. A lot of times I make my separate notes, but today I was like, fuck it. She knows what I'm going to say. So Kelly was like, here's your stone. It's a carnelian. Oh, I can't really remember that. It's this really pretty amber color. and she was like, put this. She goes, put this under your bed. And I'm like, this is crazy. I'm going to put a rock under my bed.

Okay. Kelly, you're right about everything. And she was like, also you can hold it when you masturbate. And what? Wish it was a man? I bet that rock is doing more than half of the people I've slept with. It's next to me. And she goes, hey, I need your address.

I'm going to send you a gift. It's supposed to bring you lots of sex. I'm like, this is embarrassing at this point. Oh, people are really roasting you. They're like, Ashley needs to get more days. It's ever offered me a sex rock. They know it's up. Get your rocks off.

Anyway, guys, modern mystic shop. You can get your own Carnalian sex stone. I want a sex stone. It's under my bed. It's so, it's so embarrassed. What is you guys? Like, what is this? And you're like,

Dewey dragged stones in from outside. Doey's like, have you seen me? I don't do shit. He's like, that's a beautifully polished stone. I'm like, oh, they have them in the courtyard. It's a luxury building. We don't have real rocks here. We only have quartz stones.

Amethyst. Oh, my God. Oh, I wanted to just talk about the move, I don't, not at length, but I mean, moving is super stressful and it's such a, it can be such a pain in the ass and it can like ruin your life. I had the best moving company. I wanted to give them a plug. They're called flat rate moving. They were wonderful. I really, I put this on my Instagram story of you guys happen to see it, but three guys came. They packed my whole old apartment, packed it all. Like, I just, I thought I was going to help.

And I was like, I'm here to help. And they didn't even acknowledge me saying that. And then they just went to town. Like the sound of like the tape and the boxes was like, definitely. and I just left and got coffee. And then I came back in, I'm like, can I help? And they were like, no. And I really couldn't. I was like in their way. And I just sat, you know, they put the blankets,

all those like blankets to wrap stuff in. They didn't need that many because I didn't have the much furniture. I sold a lot of it. So it was like sitting outside the apartment. I just sat on the stack of blankets and drying coffee while they finished the move. They had my whole apartment packed up, loaded in the truck in under two hours. Then they just drove over here. Everything was just, it was in.

I was here by noon. I was here by noon. Yeah. So they came at 9 a.m. Done by noon. fully moved in and we got this cute picture. It's on my Instagram with Dewey. Doey just pose like a champ. But I can't recommend them enough.

And I'm just a big fan and I think, you know, there's tons of different types of moving companies. But obviously if you flat rate, what I like is the name of this flat rate. Like there's no hidden fees. They're not like, oh, you thought it was going to be this much. It's this much. I really like that about them. But I mean, back in the day when I was more in a budget, like in Atlanta,

I had some crazy moving experiences. I use this company, my very first move when I hired movers. It was so cheap and I found them somewhere. They were called Danny Delivers, unmarked truck, the most unprofessional ratchet dudes that moved my stuff. I just, when they drove off in the truck, I was like, they could literally just go. Like I had this sickening feeling of like they could steal all my stuff. A week later, maybe, a week or two later, why did I see in the AJC, the Atlanta newspaper,

Danny Delivers one of his employees murdered Danny. Sorry to laugh. What? And I was like, that was the moving company. He was like, you just hear horror stories. So if you can, I hate to say afford it because it's not, it's, I think it's worth every penny. And I think flat rate is pretty reasonable from what I thought it was going to be, what they quoted me. It's just worth it.

Oh my God. They do everything. It's amazing. I mean, I've only ever moved with movers once because I like, yeah, I couldn't afford it in the past. And there's a huge range. Like when I moved into my new place, I will say you have dealt with moving light years better than I have. But I got everything from like $800 to $4,000. There's a huge range.

And so, yes, there's tons of hidden costs. Also, like, the people that I use, and you can probably do so a lot, but, like, they sent somebody ahead of time to, like, because I thought I needed 30 boxes and they said I needed 100 boxes. So to have it be flat rate is great because, like, there's no surprise cost. Yes. So anyway. But I had to throw that in.

I highly recommend them. They were great. They're fun on social media. They were reposting all my stuff. They love the pictures of Dewey. Cudocuses ever live. I've never seen him smile like that. I've never seen anybody smile like that.

It looks like you photoshopped his face. Well, we, the vision was like, I was going to have him lay across these two medium-sized boxes and the big boxes were behind. And I didn't realize, I didn't even really realize the boxes weren't that full. Like, they weren't like books that were keeping them intact. He, like, fell right into the box. And he looked so happy. I'm like, do you need a box?

Welcome home, little angel. Are you a cat? He doesn't care. He's so happy here. I don't give a shit. I do it all for him. I'm glad that it worked out for you. I'm glad you handled moving better than I did because I had a hysterical meltdown

for six weeks. and you handled it in like 48 hours. So kudos to fucking you. And your sex rock. I was like, what does that mean? Want to talk live shows? Yeah. Do you want to do the announcement?

Stupid live shows. Oh my God. Can I do it? Are you sure I'm here for it? Okay. Holiday show guys, Friday, December 13th at Town Hall. If you guys don't know what this theater is, if you watch crashing, they did the final episode there.

It is like an epic, like Broadway performance theater. Yeah. In Midtown. I know. I don't know if a lot of people have seen crashing. That's the first time I saw it and really like caught my eye. The very finale, John Mullaney performs there and Pete Holmes as well. And it's like this beautiful theater.

One of the cool things that they promote is that there's not a bad seat in the house. Because we were really looking at a few different venues. And there was one. I'm not going to name any names because it's a great venue. But where I was like, people are so far away from the stage. Like I don't even know how we would be like a spec to them. This is like tiered. Really you can be on the upper level.

I mean, we obviously recommend the lower. level get as close as you can. There's going to be some shit that's going down at this show. I cannot wait. But it's just really amazing seating. Great views everywhere. Yes. And we fought really hard to pick a venue with the right day of the week for you guys. Really full disclosure. We had the Apollo Theater the Monday after Thanksgiving. And we didn't want to make you guys do that. Go to Harlem the day after Thanksgiving. So it's a Friday night in December. It's December 13th. We hope you guys love the venue as much as we do. We hope you guys will plan your holiday trips to New York around it for your girlfriends. Tickets are on sale today. Yeah, they're on sale. I promise you,

this will be our most spectacular. We call it the Christmas spectacular holiday spectacular. I promise you. It will outdo last year. It will be the most spectacular show we've ever done. They won't start the show without us. Just for a little reminder, Ashley was taking a shit last year and they started the show without us. I was in the green room flirting with some guy and Ashley was taking a shit in her rent the runway dress. Yep. Sorry again to run the runway. Badgeley Mishka, full-blown skin marks on that dress.

Through the whole show, had to go get another one the next day. I didn't have time to wipe. Heard the music playing, had to run up two plates of stuff. Never run so fast. I've seen most exercise that never got. Anyway, so that won't happen again.

Well, never say never. I can't handle it. Mentally, I cannot handle it if they do something like this stuff this year. They won't. They're great. Yeah, so Friday the 13th, easy to remember. Yeah, and get those tickets to this month too. What we do?

What day is this? The night? This Friday is Friday 13th. My parents are coming. Well, it'll be good luck. June, hang on my dad. Are you excited? Just thinking that, Miss Lee.

I miss Lee so much. Got some new lesbian porn. I got to talk to him. Oh, my God. He likes, okay? Just, I want to find out. Stop. Anyways, a couple of tickets left in the fall for these shows.

It is the most amped show. If you guys have never seen our shows, you've never seen Instagram videos of our shows, and we are actually working on stuff like that so you guys can see those videos, but it is the most ridiculous night out. People get so lit. They come with their girls and they get dressed up. It's amazing.

Anyways, there are tickets left in Cleveland, the first night in Columbus, Pittsburgh, Charleston, and New Orleans. So that's what we have left for the fall. And then the very last thing, if you have tickets to Atlanta, the first night, you can add a meet and greet on, and that is still available. Oh, tickets are sold out, but if you have tickets, you can add on a green greet. And that's it. We'll see you guys throughout the fall.

we have two more weeks in town, let me hit the road again. Yeah, I know. And I can't recommend these, all the shows, obviously, but I mean, New Orleans and Charleston and Pittsburgh, obviously those are the big theater shows, and they're going to have all the entertainment. I can't wait. Yeah.

I'm a titty's out. Somebody was like, it is so nice, how supportive you are of Ashley. You always Bullhorn when she talks. And I was like, yeah, aren't you like that with your friends? That's so funny. I'm a fucking web blanket. I love one of my favorite today's ever. Yeah, actually both those days.

New Orleans and Charleston, well, I see Pittsburgh is my favorite city. But New Orleans and Charleston are two my favorite cities of all time. I can't wait. We're going to save a few extra days. All right. Well, stupid liveshows.com. Girls gutty podcast.com. Click on shows.

All right. Raina, you ready to introduce our hot guest? Oh, I love an intro. I'm nervous about the first intro in this apartment. So in the house studio with us and Dewee, we have our very first visitor from Bachelor Nation. He was on the Bachelorette. Jojo's season. He also was on this current season of Bachelor in

Paradise. All of you slid into our DMs about him. Welcome to the house studio, Derek Path. I always feel like uncomfortable when people talk me up like that. Welcome to the studio, John Paul Jones. Yeah, right. We have this stupid idiot here. Derek,

we couldn't get someone more famous, so you're here. They actually texted me last night. Oh, man. This is awkward. You roasted me so hard last night though. I was like, we'll make it work any day or the week. Any time you go, this is real desperate. Here we are 10 a.m.

on a Saturday morning. Derek, you have had four expressos. Those were both doubles. I made you two doubles. I've been sleeping like three hours a night for a week and a half. But you're, I mean, let's see how this goes. You've had a lot of caffeine. But you look great. You look great. I don't feel great.

You don't? You've been here for an hour and a half. I'm like, do we still have anything to talk about anymore? We've been talking shit. We haven't. I do have to say my I do have your number saved by the way Rayna texted me about this and she was like oh I don't know I didn't save this number

who is this I really hurt my feeling you did that to fuck with her yeah oh my god I didn't actually think you would explain Ashley goes did he agree and I go he's either flirting with me

or he's kind of fucking weird I don't know I'll let you know I can't believe you humbled her like that she needs it I know He really big leagued me. And I was like, girls got to eat. And he goes, is this a cooking show?

I'm like, we. Oh, right. Yeah, she showed me the screenshot. And I was like, he knows our podcast, right? Oh, yeah. And I actually listen like so. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Okay. Well, I want to say right off the bat, a huge fan of the franchise. I've watched every episode, it's my favorite season of anything. This season of Bachelor of Paradise has been so incredible. You're welcome. I feel like this is really what took you to the next level. Like, you became. like an icon on this season. People want you to be the Bachelor, all that kind of stuff. But I want to

say right up top that this is not going to be a total Bachelor, Bachelor in Paradise podcast episode, but at the end, we're going to ask all these questions that people submitted. So it'll come up, but like, we know you guys want to know all these things and we crowdsource questions and we're going to do it at the end as our little game with you. Yeah, I mean like it's part of my life, but it's not my whole life. Let's not talk about it at all. Let's talk about your finance job. Honestly, I could do that. Okay. I might be a little too boring of the podcast. But I do I want to know your, like, what's your life? What's your story?

Like, what is, you have a real job. Yeah. I work for a bank and, like, our big thing is student loan refinance. So I, like, travel around to hospital systems and, like, bigger companies and more price for employers. This is so boring. I know. See?

Amazing. So that's what I do. That's my normal life. And then at night, I go to cool events and I never sleep. I have two lives. I live two lives. You really do live a double life. Like, I don't know, are there, do you know of other bachelor, bachelor at people that still have a full-time career?

Most people either like fade away or they just like go all the way into it. So I've weirdly like crossed. That's what I'm, yeah, you're, you seem different in that way. You're not like pushing sugar bear hair vitamins, but you're like still on the show. But I will sometimes like I have, you know. Bad fit fun. Bad fit fun boxes. But don't you think, I don't get how, I think there's some people who think it's like they're holier than it.

It's like, oh, well, I would never do that kind of stuff. But that's just stupid. It's free money that people are offering you. Like, why would you... Absolutely. When I first started doing, like, ads on Instagram for, like, one hungry Jew, people would be, like, sell out. I'd be like, oh, okay, maybe you're too good to take Burger King money, but I'm not.

So I'm going to take this free money. Also, have you ever heard of commercials? Like, this is how... Right. This is our world, our life. Derek's like, I'm out here giving you guys free fire content with these selfies, but I got to pay for them. Right.

Exactly. This phone, it's not free. So you were on Jojo's season, who we already talked to this before we start recording. I think she's the hottest bachelor of all time. So you got lucky there. And then when was that? Was it like 2017 or a couple years ago? Ever since then, my life has just been a blur. I think it was like three and a half years ago. So yeah, 2016. I quit my job to do that. Oh, same job. The story, sorry, I cut you off. Go for it. The story of how you actually got on show is interesting because I think a lot of people like are dying to go on reality shows and you were like they had to beg you right no did yeah I kind of fuck boyed them

unintentionally like I didn't mean to but it was the perfect this was made it accidental made it probably even better um so my little sister so my little sister and her friends watched the show and they like drink wine and I was actually living in Florida at the time but my little sister sent my information in and um they called in like the middle of my workday and you know I'm working at a bank and my suit. Somebody calls and she's like, hi, this is Kelly from The Bachelor. I just want to know if you're still single. And in my head, I'm going, this is not a normal, like, this is not an actual call I'm getting.

This has to be somebody prank calling me, like, some morning radio show, whatever. And so I'm like, I just right away, I'm just like, you have my email, yeah? Just email me and hung up the phone. Like that quickly. Wow. Really big leagueed them. God, it would make me want you so bad. Kelly's like, what the fuck?

She's like some assistant who had to go tell her boss. He just gave me his email and hung up on me. And they're like, what? And the whole franchise was like, we got to get him. Chris Harrison's like, put me on the fucking time. And so then they kept trying to get me to go places. Like drive two hours to come to some. I don't even know.

what they call them. Casting calls? Yeah. Casting calls. Yeah. And I'd be like, not not doing that. So they,

no joke, they came and it was two blocks away from my work with the hotel that they were in. Just to be with you personally. Yeah. But that's the thing. There's a few other people they met there. But they like,

yeah, they had the camera set up in a hotel room. And now this sounds like something else. This was a Harvey Weinstein situation. I'm kidding. Right. And they were just like, oh, you're so comfortable in front of the camera.

And I'm going, yeah, It's because I don't care if I don't care. Exactly. The person who cares least has the power. Exactly. Especially in that. So I think like, well, for anybody out there who ever does the, whoever wants to go, stop trying so hard. Yep.

That's like, that's like dating. That's what we tell people about dating. Absolutely. We're like, if you want a guy to like you, just do nothing. Do nothing. Love yourself, baby. Hang up on them. Give me your email and hang up.

We need to make that a new thing. Like, yeah. When I get your number? No, you can get my email. You can get my email. You have my Instagram. handle. What was your relationship life before that?

Were you newly single or had you been single for a while? I was like, I kept going back and forth with this one girl. I think it was like six years. And both of us were just like horrible to each other. Not actually not mean to each other, but we would just be like, I can't wait. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And then we'd be like, oh, but there's this other person I'm going to go try things out with and just see because I'm not sure about this yet. Is it a grown college?

No, it was after college. But, yeah, it was six years worth of that. Oh, man. So then when they called, I quit this job. I'm going to move from Florida. My life is going to change. Yeah. Wow.

Okay. And you had a pretty, you had a real relationship from Bachelor in Paradise. Like, that was like a real. She was all for show. Huh? I'm just kidding. You really put her on Instagram a lot

considering it's all for show. I know. But I don't know. Some probably are less real than others. Like you guys had a real relationship, right? Yeah. And I think I'll always be the person, I'm assuming, who waited the longest or knew somebody the longest before, like,

the engagement part happened. Because we did it at the, like, after show. Everybody else does it at during the show. So, like, Paradise is whatever. Bachelor and Bachelor are, like, 10 weeks. This was like four months of dating, basically, before we did that. So it was, it was like a definite real relationship. Yeah.

Oh, geez. I didn't realize that. Is this a touchy subject? No, broken engagements. What's up? Pound. Did you know, Raina had a broken engagement? I didn't know that, no.

Yeah. You know that Kay did, too, by the way? Oh, for real? You're a co-host for his podcast. No, you know, I always say... I found so... There's so many more people that have been through that. Once I did that, I had, like, eight friends

who I didn't even know that they had been engaged at some point in time, who were all just like, we get it. It sucks. And we're here for you. Wow. Yeah. I never knew anybody, because I was a little bit younger when it happened to me. I was 27.

And at that age, I mean, I just didn't know anybody that didn't go through it. And so humiliated and I would never tell anybody. and people would say like, when do you bring this up on a date? And I'd be like, never. Today, I'm like, do you think, like, people should know that? Like, divorces and, and, like, broken engagement? Yeah.

I don't know. I don't think that matters. I don't think that should matter. I don't think you should lie, but I don't think you need to open with it. Yeah, exactly. Like, I don't think you lead with it. I agree.

I don't, I think my take on it is if it comes up when you're dating somebody and getting to know each other, it comes up. Exactly. Like, but I think we always, we have talked about this. Like, it's weird if some. somebody's like purposely omitting information. Totally. But it's not something to hide, I don't think.

I think also like kids too. So I think that's a wall people put up sometimes because I have friends who have kids and they're like, I always tell people right away. Right away. Yeah. I have a kid. And to me I'm like, okay, but I think you're, that's a definite no for a whole lot of people.

You're probably like pushing people away who would maybe be like once they meet you once even. Yeah. Like, oh, I really like this person. Like, hey, by the way, I have a kid. It's the first rule of sales. You make them want the product first before you tell it what it costs. Before you tell them what it costs?

That's it. Like, I got into sales. I was like, how do I do this? My dad was like, make people like you. They'll buy anything you sell. I was like, okay. I understand. I'm totally with you though.

Like I think that if you're omitting information, that's a little, if you live with your kids and like your whole life all day long is your kids and you don't bring it up for three dates. It's a little weird. Because they're a daily part of your life. You're right. If we made it that far and then I, I found out, I would be like, no.

And that's a different no, you know. I had a friend that she had a friend that she had a guy for six months before she found out. And then went home with him for the holidays and then someone brought up the kid. Oh, wait, because the kid, like, the kid, like, live with the mom. But, like, he had, he saw that he wasn't an absent father. He had seen the kid while they'd been dating. That's the biggest red flag. Oh, it was crazy.

And he was like a Trump guy. We call him Trump dad. Red hat flag. That's a no for me, Doc. But the engagement thing is not like a part of your all day life every day. So I could see bringing it up. Somebody brought it up with me on a date on the first date and I was like, I don't want to talk about this.

This is weird for May. Yeah, because that's also about you and them, right? It's not about the new person either. Right. Why did, do you mind me ask, why did you guys break up? Do you have like a media trained answer? Yeah, it is. And I don't want to like, the thing with that is I've never wanted to get into it because

like, it's just like it's an old wound that. I don't think on her side we should like bring up and yeah, no big deal. She hasn't been the most respectful of that, but I always just like don't want to talk about. Well, let's talk about you getting dumped on Bachelor in Paradise twice. Perfect. Let's open up a different wound. Well, this is, okay. And crying there.

Well, here's the thing. I think you as of anybody in the show were the most mature. I mean, you're probably older than some of these. I mean, whatever. John Paul owns is 24 and you're, you know, you're in your 30s. So I think you. you came across great, but I wanted to talk about this today in general

in the episode of like just putting yourself out there. I think you come across great is the weirdest thing to hear about when you do this because you're just like, first of all, I mean, I was just like living my life. Second of all, when people say that, it's usually because some shit happened to you. You know what I mean?

Like the person that didn't have anything happened is like in the background, they're like, oh yeah, you weren't there. But the person that they're like, you came across great. I don't agree. I don't agree. I don't think so. I mean it in a totally.

surface level, like, you were a person I enjoyed watching, and I, you weren't like a dramatic. Drama for TV person. You seem to like end up a situation, maybe the word. And like, just deal with conflict and drama in like a very calm way. I feel like people are like, I'm on reality TV. I'm going to be the biggest shit bag of all time. Yeah, but you see that shit so easily. Like you can see through that.

Yeah. I hate people that do that. But you were like a prominent character. I feel like more so than you have been in the past a little bit. Like people were like really, and we'll get this at the end, like, Derek for Bachelor. I want to talk about this in general, like putting yourself out there. I feel like you really put yourself out there and there was like some rejection. Yeah. And that's like, let's talk about it.

For sure. Obviously it's hard. Anytime you get rejected, that sucks. And obviously I'm still single. And like I want to, I want to be in a relationship. It's time for me. I also grew up in Iowa, which means from the time I was 18, people were like, oh, are you going to get married to your girlfriend? Yeah. You know, I had like, I had friends after high school getting married. to their high school. Absolutely. What else are you doing in Iowa? You know?

Get married, make babies and grow corn. I love corn. Cused in tons of recipes. But like you do want to get married and have kids someday. Yeah. And sooner than later, honestly. Well, we're here for you. Jesus Christ,

your DMs right now are going to be just the amount of blow jobs you're going to get from this show. Oh my God. You're welcome because it's more than the bachelor. So did you feel like it was difficult, like dealing with that, especially on TV? I think that like once you, once you're there for

a couple of days, you actually just forget about the cameras. Because, well, you have to, or you're playing shit up. And then, like I said, it's really easy. Like, you see that. You see through people. Like, if you're just yourself, you're way more comfortable with, I think, after the fact that that if you're two different people, if you're trying to play different characters, like, that's just really hard to keep straight in your head to have seen it before. And people that snap and freak out. I think usually it's because of that, because they're, like, trying to hold something back and then they can't. It's a totally different person. Yeah. But so, all right. to the breakup stuff.

The very first time on the very first show, I cried on camera. And it was like, I was super ashamed of it, right? Like, I had never, I hadn't cried in like years before that. This girl that I was not talking about before, she had like told me at one point in time, she was like, you're too much of an emotional man because one time I had like teared up a little bit about something. Yeah. You're like, I never do this. I swear.

It's like when girls like sleep with somebody too early. They're like, I never do this. You're like, I never cry. But at that point in time, I hadn't. And I was like, oh man, this is so shameful that everybody just saw me. And then after that, like, I just owned it. And like went to therapy and stuff and would like really change my perception of it. For the scene of you crying in the car?

Yes. It was hard because that's like all people knew me for. Like leaving that show. Yeah. It was like, oh, you know, the guy that cried. It was like Jason Mesnick. Like it's like when you man cry, people don't forget. Yeah, because like going full mesnick.

That's a thing. You know, like still. this day. And so it's hard like living your life and people knowing you because you cried. That's like the one defining thing that people know. I'm meeting people and they're just like, you're the crying guy. You don't want to be that guy.

You're like a Kim Kardashian meme. Like Derek, Derek's cry face. Exactly. But I've seen you posted. I think you did the best thing anybody can do in a humiliating situation. Just to be like, yeah, it was kind of weird and funny. I don't know. That's a future thing. Like I... Takes yours. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And so then it goes. I don't.

going back and in dealing with that stuff. Then I was like, all right, whatever. I don't care anymore. This is good. People should see guys cry. Uh-huh. I love that. I wanted to ask you about, like,

so the demi stuff, because I feel like people deal with this a lot in real life and we want to take some of the things that happen on the show into real life. And people don't know, basically you connected with this girl on the show. And you seemed like you were a little more all in because she was dating somebody else. That was a woman. Right. So she's bisexual.

Maybe I don't know what she would call herself, but that's what I'm just going to say. So how did, like, I feel like the people deal with that in real life a lot where you're like, I'm all in for this. I'm not seeing anybody else, but this other person is kind of not. How do that feel? Well, I think that the funny thing was, like, did you see that coming, I guess? No, I didn't. Not at all. Yeah.

And it was, that's like a very surprising thing to find out, you know? And like, because of that at the same time, you see this like bigger picture of it because it's on TV. You know that people are going to see this. Like all of a sudden, that's where you kind of take that 30,000 foot for you. And it's like, oh, my God, this is going to be a representation for how other people could handle this, you know? So that was like super extra stressful. But, I mean, I think just in normal life, you can't make people, you can't tell me what to do. Yeah.

And that's like another thing I've, when I was younger, I would have done the whole like, I got to fight for her thing. And I don't do that shit anymore. Now, okay. Now I'm just like, you know what? if you don't want it, go ahead. That's fine. Maybe that's the giving less fun thing that we talked about earlier. It's true, though.

I don't know if that's a good, like, I don't know if that's a healthy approach or not, maybe, but that feels like game playing to me. Depends at what point in the relationship. I think early in a relationship, it's probably pretty healthy. I think, like, to just be like, they're seeing somebody else,

like somebody else more or whatever, it's not going to work out. We're going to do an episode about, like, when you're with somebody you know it's not going to work out, walking away. And, like, yeah, a year and a half in, I'd be kind of pissed if somebody didn't want to fight for it a little bit.

But like a couple months in, I don't know. Let's just call it what it is. And if you guys don't know, if you watch the show, you know, but if you don't, Demi was dating a woman and then they brought her on the show, they let her stay, which was pretty wild. Like, I always think about, and I like to look at both sides. If a man did that and he was like, by the way, I have this girlfriend. And now she's going to come here and stay. America would lose its shit.

But people were more supportive because it was a female, female relationship. and it was just, it felt different than I've amended that, but it was just kind of wild. And so you turned into this very sympathetic character of like, oh, you're seeing this girl now, her other person's here and you just have to watch them. Yeah, I think, but again, like, it's such a, it's such a heterogeneous show that it's, knowing that that was changing some of that, which is like, I just have to, I have to let go of this being about me. Because guess what, like, the part about me is, like, this is not my person.

So, yeah. Instead of being mad or, like, letting that. freak me. I was like, all right, I need to move on. Like, I need to move forward. Right. Whatever, just to the next person. I don't know. It's... The next person on the island, yeah. I know, yeah, exactly. Which I liked you guys. I thought you guys were a good match. Yeah, she's great. I mean, I have only said good things about her because that's all I have to say about her, you know, since then. It's just like that weird other stuff that happened. But I think a lot of people, probably a little bit younger, like, maybe like more college age.

And they're like, I break up with people and then have to be around the person. Yeah, that is dating someone new. And, like, I like that you said, you said, want to take these scenarios, bring it into real life? Because, like, that happens a lot that you have to be around the person. And even if you can separate, you can still see them on social media. And you're still kind of around it, you know? And so it's hard to take yourself out of it. Yeah, that's a good point. But, like, what do you guys think about dating multiple people back to, like,

when thinking back to it, because I think this is similar to either summer camp or, like, high school college when you are always around each other because they're same classes or whatever kind of things. And that's, I think, when people are dating, like, multiple people at the the same time, which is basically what the show is in a lot of different ways. Yeah. Derek, what's it like to fuck a ton of people in the same? The show is crazy because I can't keep up.

And also, the thing that people don't realize with the show, which is wild, is that it is for a one month long. Yeah. So what you felt like you've seen these people for days or weeks and it's been hours, like it's really kind of crazy. I feel like people forget that. Like you and Demi's relationship was what a week? Yeah.

I mean, it was like a week and a half, I think. A week and a half, yeah. which is like, okay, if you, we distract ourselves so much. And it's like, I think it's a good reminder coming back from it to like get the fuck off of my phone more and like not sit at home and watch Netflix. I don't need to. It's not like a great thing for me or anything because like you cut all that stuff away and you just like all you have is other people and like building relationships with people. Whether it's like friendships or intimate, whatever in a different way. I think that's annoying.

Alex, you're saying you're like trying to get away from your family. I know exactly. But I think a lot of people. You have your vibrates still on their phone. I do. Not me. I can't. You don't try me nuts.

Well, I mean, your phone doesn't vibrate? You're right. It's always on silent. Always on silent. Always. I think some people don't realize that. Like, you guys have nothing on any of those shows.

No phones, no magazines. Like, that's why you just see people like fucking and working out. Like, it's just like, it's like lay in the cabana or do push-ups in the beach. It's basically like back in the 1300s. Yeah. All of our two options.

that's all you can do. It's just like, connect with people. You either see like a couple who are just literally draped on top of each other all the time or people who are. It feels like it's really sweaty. Working out and trying to like peacock in some way. Yeah. And I'll look at these biceps over here.

Draw the girls over here. But dating other people, I don't know. I mean, I always think back to our parents' generation did a lot more like dating around and dating people the same time. I remember I was in high school and I came home. I were like I was like 18. This is my high school boyfriend that we started dating right at the end of high school and I came home and I was like, he cheated on me. And my mom was like, what?

Relax. And she was like, what are you talking about? You're 18. What do you mean? He cheated on you. And I'm like, he kissed somebody else. And she's like, who cares? I mean, my parents had to kind of be like, oh, she's upset. She's really upset. And I think my mom had this whole view of like, I was dating someone when I met your father. Like, we dated a bunch of people. That's the crazy thing because I know. Why not meet whoever you can, date whoever you can until you find the person you want to stand still with? You know, there's like some weird thing I read once. It's like 85% of people that end up like married. We're dating someone else at the time that they met the person. Yeah.

And yet like, so I think that like we see as such a negative thing or such a bad thing. But the truth is that kind of comes back to what we were just talking about before. You can't force somebody to be like something or feel something. Yeah. And like why the hell do we have these negative views on when somebody's just like, you know what, sorry, not my person. And that's just how it is. Instead, we go to our friends and we're like, oh, my God, he's such a dick, you know? Yeah.

So I have a question for you then. I think everybody will probably have a very different feeling about this. But, like, when you are casually dating around, so you're dating, like, three, four people. I mean, we all have dating apps. We can go on seven dates a week. And you have Instagram. I'm sure there's a million girls in your DMs every five minutes. Thanks, John Paul Jones, for making people think.

I, there was, I kid you not. I got like 2,000 DMs in the course of an hour when that scene showed aired where he said that that's what I do. Oh, my God. Just tons of them. And I was like, I didn't expect this. I thought everyone would be like, ew. And everyone was like, hey, we heard that you.

They're emboldened by it. We heard that you DM. They're like, oh my God, Derek checks his DMs. They just like went in. That was so crazy. That is so funny. That is very funny, these little sluts. I'm here for it.

You know what? You want something. Go get it. Okay. So I have a question of you. When do you think that you have to make the call to like be monogamous or share the information. Should you tell somebody that you're dating other people? Do you tell people that you're dating other people? I think this is a huge gray area, so there's no right answer. Totally. I think at first,

you just assume that they are. I don't know. Right. And I haven't met people who are like, wait, you went on a date with somebody else recently. I think it's all about communication as as long as you're just talking about that. And that's why, like I say, they were to surprise it. I was like, well, I went on, did this with somebody else. Instead of doing it and like hiding it being straightforward with that. And I'm sure that because of that, there's some people who I've met who are like, no, I'm sorry, I can't do that. That's fine.

That's you. This is where I am in my stage of what I'm able to like be open with you. I'm doing my thing. Well, and that, yeah, I think a lot of it comes down to ego too. People just like want to be the only one. And it's kind of like with girls feel that way. And they're like, I'm dating this guy and I really like him. He's dating

someone else. And it's like, well, then you go on a date with somebody else. Like you can do the same. It's the same thing. Well, I think there's a point in which it's like you can't ask other people to not. Like, even that guy I dated all summer. Like, he sort of asked me, I forget how he phrased it, but I was like, I'm not going to ask you to not date other people because I don't think they were there. And I'm not going to tell you that I'm not either.

But like, if you don't want to talk about it, let's not talk about it then, you know? You know how many people hold on to that too? And they're like, hold on to what? They want to be exclusive to somebody, but they don't want to be the one to say it. So, then they start to resent somebody. I don't want to say it. I guess it, I don't know. Ultimately, it comes down.

I mean, people worry about just like sex too. Exactly. I mean, that's when you have to have the conversation. Like, I don't know. I mean, I guess just if you don't want to have those conversations, just use condoms across the board. Of course. I hate condoms.

I'm just kind of like, are you fucking anybody else? I'm only asking because my- He doesn't hate them. I know, but I don't want to use them at all. And if we do, we use Lola Condoms, their sponsor. But I just, people get mad when we say this. I'm like, I just, right before it already penetrates me. I'm like, I'm clean.

Also, like, guys. No, that was a joke, guys, okay? Support condoms. Yeah, have safe sex. Don't, you know, do what is healthy. Like, we're not advising anything. Like, whatever. We could get an SDD tomorrow.

Like, who's to say? People get all worked up about this. But I think that's what it comes down to where you're like, I don't, I don't want to have this. What are we conversation? But I'm, like, worried about my vagina and the health of it. You know? I don't know.

I don't have many thoughts on that. Yeah. in my case. Yeah. You're like, just raw dog and everybody? No, excuse me. That's not what I'm saying. Yes, it is, though.

It's okay. You know what's funny? It's like still to this day, here I am. I'm 32 years old and like, I still get nervous going and buying condoms. Yeah, who doesn't? I do. I bought condoms. I was like so nervous.

Do you remember the first time? No, but I bought condoms this summer with this guy. We went to the bodega. And I was like, two condoms. And I was kind of drunk. And she's like, yeah. And I was like, What are like, what are the, what are like the, what are like, black guys used?

And she was like, magnums. And I was like, yeah, we don't need those. Right in front of the guy. I was like, so whatever like small white people use. And he continued to date you. He did for a while. Also, guys, well, since you brought him up a couple times, that next week full download on all that, just letting you know.

Yeah. Because people are like, why would you bring it up and not tell us it up? And we're going to tell you what happened next week. We'll talk about it next week. Derek. Conn and Conn's story. Three, two, one. So this is like, I was in high school dating for like five months or something like that, you know.

It was like, that's like a good, decent amount of time back then to be like, okay, I think we're ready for this. Yeah. Had you had gotten a blowjob yet? We weren't sure people were to give blow jobs in high school. In Iowa. In Iowa. We didn't know about that yet in Iowa. It hadn't come around.

Well, I didn't know either. I didn't know. Okay. I only thought Jewish girls gave blow jobs in high school. And so I didn't know, there's no Jews in Iowa, for sure. I didn't meet a Jewish person until I moved to the East Coast. Yeah, we don't have horns. It's crazy.

So for like a month, basically, we'd been like, she would be like, well, do you have condoms yet? And I would be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, don't worry about it. But I didn't have them. I was so nervous to go and find them. Yeah, it's scary. And finally it was like our, like, finals tests. So we knew that we were going to have like in the middle of the day. What?

Oh, like, because you, like, got to go home or only from school. For school, yeah, like, in the middle of the day. That is when you would fuck. There's, when you had, like, parents are still at work. Absolutely. If you didn't lose your virginity at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. Oh, exactly. What kind of childhood did you have?

That's too late. School's already out at 1 o'clock. You had those two. It was. It was like 1 o'clock. Yeah, it was 1 o'clock. Oh, we got out at 2.15 and then you got to warm it up a little bit. It was saying it was midday because you had finals.

So, like. It was like study hall. Yes, your parents are still working. Like you go to Wendy's and you get spicy chicken sandwich and then you lose your virginity. Exactly. But so like I had finally got them that morning and I go in and it's like 5.30 in the morning. I go to Walmart. Where you got your pants also.

I got my pants that I'm wearing also. You're really great looking jogger pants. I thought they were like designer and they're from a Walmart in Iowa. And nothing gets me going the way men in a jogger pant does, right? You love them too. I don't believe these are from Walmart. I'm going to check the tag. Anyway, keep tag.

Actually, like, can you take your pants off? It's the weirdest way anyone's trying to get me in my pants to come off. That is the perfect. Are you flirting with me? I mean, I expected Rana to be the one flirting with me. It's me. Let me see where those pants are from.

You take them off. Let me check the tag. So it's like my coach's daughter who's there, of course. So now it's even more, like now I'm even more sure, whatever. I grab like 15 things to wrap around the box of condo so that it's not seen,

whatever. So we go to our house, start getting busy, and she's like, you have the condoms. Yes. So I run upstairs. Yeah. Grab them. Good to go. You know, virginity is broken for both of us.

Okay. Great news all around. Good experience. Good experience. Yeah. I really had a good, good first experience. Yeah. I'm going to go back to school.

I can't find the keys to the car. Go back upstairs. The condom box is on the driver's seat. My keys are sitting on the driver's seat. seen exit car doors locked I'm parked in her dad's parking spot oh my god oh my god oh my god I have chills so like get a ride

back to school and had to have as both we lost our virginity had to have the sex talk with parents very first time it was the most because you know like of course they're going to be like oh I wonder why

his car is parked here is going to do is look at in the car it's the first thing I would do especially if I had a daughter I'd be like what is this little shit having his car. First thing I would do. What? And why is he parked in my spot? Absolutely. God. And I just fucked your daughter. But you know, yikes. Had you met them before? We're still friends to this day. Her dad and I. But did you say? We text all every, you know, once a week. What? The girl not so much. The girl not so much. But me and the dad. Was he like your coach for a sport? No. He was, you know, he was just, I forgot he's the coach. Oh my God. A coach's dad's daughter. Yeah. Wow. Oh my God.

Were they Christian? I. and feel Christian vibes. Of course. Of course. Iowa. Jesus first. I want to talk about reality TV and dating in real life. I'm so glad that you brought this up. Do you feel like it hurts, helps? I mean, clearly you have more notoriety. People, you can, you know, people DM you and like you just said and stuff like that. But do you feel like there's a stigma or you'd be like don't want to date you or want to date you more? Do you feel like you have to be careful? Like, I want to talk about all of it. It's both, actually. Because there's like, and personally, it's the same thing.

Again, you guys obviously talk about this all the time because it is a real thing. The ones who I'm like, I want to actually date her are the ones who go, yeah, it's kind of dumb that you did that. You know, like that's... The bad that you were on the show. Yeah. So I'll tell you a story about the day that I met you. Okay. We met like, what, a year ago, the three of us at a party.

And I, like, saw you across the room. And I was like, oh, he's so cute. And my friend was like, oh, he was on The Bachelor. and I was like, oh, I'm not interested in that. No offense. And then I came up to you and we were like talking and I was, I had such a good time talking to. He was so much fun. And then I was like, oh, he's just like a normal charming guy.

But I feel like, I don't know, I don't know if people really think it's great or don't. My initial knee jerk was I would never date somebody that was on reality TV. For a couple reasons, I was like, what's wrong with somebody that wants to do that? Oh, for sure. I get that. And the other part is I was like, I can't be out. I'm in my 30s. I can't compete with the 24-year-olds and slat into your DMs and offer to blow you.

So I would love for you to talk about that. But that's exactly it, right? Like, it's not, it's good in the sense, like, that's what you want to do. And that was actually what the whole argument that you saw, like, come up is like, if that's what you want to do, if you want, anyone with girls that slide into your DMs, you want to hook up with them, go ahead. That's up to you. Like, I'm not here to tell you what to do.

Yeah. Because, you know, that would, people were asking that question, like, oh, to girls slide into your DMs and can you do, you can do whatever you want. Every day. Yeah. That's up to you, man. But it's like if that, if you're, if you're trying to move past it, if you want to, like, date somebody for longer than, you know, a week, it's not, like,

it's harder because then you don't know who to trust, I think. And that's like the biggest problem from a dating perspective is like, I don't trust people to actually do what you did, by the way, which is like, oh, no, he's like, I got to know him and now I know him. I think like that's too much. Surprise, guys. You want to just touch my leg a few more times and we'd be really dating. guys, we're super together.

I do. I'm a toucher too, by the way. I know. I'm kind of excited. I didn't get the prime seating for the Derek leg touches. When Raina makes a joke, I keep touching a leg. I can leave it there. Rana's red.

Her face is red. That's probably just she's probably late out. And you can see me blushing now. Okay. So you prefer somebody to be more like Rayna, like not into it but then gets to know you and that. I prefer somebody to be exactly like Rayna. Okay.

Wow. Is this really happening? I only do guys from Iowa now. Oh my God. That is so funny. No, I do definitely prefer somebody who, like, doesn't slide into my DM. I mean, I think that's, like, in and of itself is enough that I just met somebody normally. And because of that, I know that they're not, they don't care too much.

That's really what it matters, I think, more than anything. It's like, they don't care so much. Right. It's just, it's just like somebody else to them. And I feel like you can probably pick up on that pretty easy in conversation. Like, if, I don't know. Well, how do you feel? Like, I feel like you.

when you meet a guy, that's true, because you guys honestly have a super huge platform too. Right. So I feel like you are. I don't know. I think it, unlike you,

it immediately like Raina, it immediately turns me off a little bit. But then it's like, am I being hypocritical? Like I put my whole life out there too. It's just on a different format. No, I meant for you,

and I know how you folks, we talk about it every day, but like if a guy approaches you specifically. Oh. And like if you're on a first date with a guy, because I think listeners probably think this is interesting, do you want a guy to be like,

Ashley, I listen to your show, show and I love it. Yeah, it's, I don't know, it's one of the weird things. Derek probably feels the same way. It's like, you have a different level of, I hate to even use the word fame for us, but you know, you're on TV. We have this podcast, but we still have a following and, you know, we still people know who we are. And it's my biggest fear that someone just wants to like fuck me so we can say that, fuck this girl, yeah, exactly. And same with you. And it's like, oh my God, it's, I hate the thought of it. Do you get that

vibe sometimes. Of course. That's 95% of it. They're like want to fuck John Krasinski and you'll, and you'll do. I'm the Walmart version of him. I'm going to see Walmart. I wish Walmart sponsored this. I'll be your Walmart Emily Blunt any day you want. Oh my God. That's your name right? Yeah. Walmart Emily Blunt. What kind of girls do you like? People are going to want to know this. Okay. So what kind of girls are like? Looks aren't that important to me. I mean, it's just like, I don't. I don't. I mean, it's just like, I don't, obviously attraction matters. So I don't, I don't have like a specific thing.

I think that's good. I don't know. There's like something, like eyes that are, like the almond shape or whatever that people say. It's like usually a thing. I think you have it, Rana.

Great. Raina has great brown eyes. She does. God, guys. Her eyelashes are natural too. Those aren't extensions. Minor extensions. Are that?

We're on reality TV. You have to get a glow up when you've gone reality. You have to get a glow up. Wait, Derek, do you feel like you've had a glow up? Have you had any work done? Um, No.

Why did I pause there? On Wells podcast the other week, he asked me if I could be a serial killer and I pause and he was like, wait, why are you pausing? You're like, maybe, I don't know. Were you guys talking about Mind Hunter or he just like, he just volunteered this question. You're like, what does it entail? What's the pay? No, but like for me what it is is somebody who I have like a big personality and I want

to be met like equal there. Yeah. And in that like somebody will call me out for things if I have. like an opinion and they did disagree. Basically, I just want them to have their own opinions. Which is such a weird thing, but a lot of women are taught that, like, they shouldn't do that. I mean, Raydon, I cannot relate at all in the least. So, but it's also like, I don't know.

I mean, obviously I love that you said that, but there's plenty of guys that just want a submissive, not opinionated. Oh, there's a ton of guys want that. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting it. I think that there's a lot of guys that say they want somebody that's opinionated and they get it. And they're like, oh, I don't want them. I agree with you.

You know? Well, maybe they're like, I wanted like, on a scale of opinions, I wanted like a seven and you're like a 13. So it's too much. I love that though. As long as the people, the thing is like, the way I want it is someone who's not an asshole about it. Yeah.

Because there's people who have opinions and they're like, no, I'm 100% right. But somebody who like sets speaks their mind, but then also listens to you, that's huge. I think there's not many people that do that. You guys probably do that because you're also like doing this. This is actually what you do day out too, by the way. And some people, we always use the word contrarian.

Like, some people just have to argue with everything. It's like, just stop it. Like, let it go. Let me play devil's advocate here. Oh, God. Yeah. You're like, and I hate that person. You're like, the sky's blue.

And they're like, well, actually. It's just like, come on. It's just a reflection of the scene. Okay, John Paul Jones. Those people belong like on Reddit. somewhere in their own... Yeah, in their own subcategory. Do you...

It's Cyrillian, the well actually person. You get kind of political on Instagram, which I like, because I feel I want to say that Bachelor Nation could be a little right leaning. Just I feel like what we've seen. Absolutely. You know, they have the people that they pick or seem like they cater to that type of viewership. And I like that you, you're not like so outspoken, but you stand up for what you believe in.

And I, do you feel like, is that important to you in a person? You know what? I think it's more, I think, I think, like, the big thing with whether or not you talk about how you feel politically from a lot of, like, different reality stars or like anybody who's been in the public eye, they don't want blowback. Like, they're afraid of that. They just like, they need more fans. They want to have more fans.

And that that's because that's maybe like the only thing that they do. So I think because of the fact that I have my own separate thing that I do, like my normal nine to five boring job, I don't care. much about how many fans do I have. Like it's, it's like, for me, this is a representation of who I authentically am. And if I think this stuff and I would talk to my friends about this stuff, then I'm also going to put it out there in the same way, you know? And so, like, I don't have any fear at all.

You know, it's like, it's laughable, some of the opinions that people have. And I think, like, highlighting how laughable that is sometimes is important for people to see. Like, they should see how stupid some of the shit that people send me and reply to my, like, political thoughts or, like, I feel like that's just life, too. Politics is not just politics. Politics is also just, it affects your daily life. People are like, I don't get political. I'm like, do you live a life in this country? I also just think if you have a voice and you don't use it to say, and what you believe in your voice means nothing. Like, I don't talk about a lot.

And it's never, people thank me or thank us. I mean, I'm really outspoken about my beliefs on social media. People say thank you. And I'm like, for literally what? Like, they don't expect it, which, for me, it should be the norm. It's like, why are you not using your voice? Why did you build this brand for what? Just to please everybody. Like, I just think you're always going to get ahead by speaking it for what you believe in. I'm not,

and not like a pick-a-side way, but just for what you think is right. Like, is there anything you're passionate about that keeps you up at night? Like, why are you not using your voice to speak out of it? Yeah, do you not? We've had people come at us and say, like,

well, I'm not listening. We're rarely political, but we're a female-founded business. Of course, we're going to talk about abortion and things like that. And we have people come for us and say, like, I'm not listening to your show anymore, and you're going to lose thousands of listeners. And we're like, that's fine.

Like, you don't have to agree with us and you don't have to listen to our show, but we're not going to not talk about women's rights and women's bodies and women's health just because hundreds of thousands of people don't like it. That's fine. So here's my thing with that is like back to what I said. Yeah. You can disagree with somebody, but also still listen to their opinion. Right. And that's like somebody who just is 100% just like cuts that off. That's fine.

Like, I don't, that's not the kind of person I want. I have, I have people who think very differently than me who are. really close friends. But we both can openly talk about it and then be like, and then be like, no. I don't talk about, I'm not, you really derailed the trade of thought there. I'm not talking about abortion. I'm talking about other topics. Like what? Black lines matter. Oh, like fine. Okay. Gotcha. Money stuff. Economics. I want to talk about this. I didn't think we were going to really talk about this, but we want to do a whole episode on it, but I'm curious to hear what

you think. What do you think about like girls doing thirst traps and stuff on Instagram? Like is there a line? Do you find, do you feel like guys are like, oh, I see what she's doing or they're like dumb and they're like, no, that's hot. There's a line because there's definitely you thought about this. Definitely thirst traps that I see and I'm like, um, let's talk about it. I'm so excited to talk about this with you. What made you think of this? I don't know. Derek's hot. I wanted to see him post the thirst trap. No, I'm just kidding. You're like, why don't you post more thirst traps. I really don't.

But you're guys. It's a weird. Guys posing is not for me. Right? And that's the crazy thing about dating apps. Girls, like you hear girls say over and over and over. Like,

I don't want a guy with a shirtless. I don't want to see. And then they have the same. They're literally like 15 selfies. They're like, no guys with selfies. And it's all them like making duck faces. Or guys looking left.

I don't want to look at a guy just staring off into the distance. It's like a portrait mode photo. It's real crazy. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It is.

So, okay, thirst traps. Let's talk about it for girls. Okay. I want to say no that I don't like them, but I constantly find myself just being like, okay, let's go through this. I'm looking and I'm like, all right, not liking. Oh, I talked with Ross recently about this, by the way. Ross, broken dick, Ross.

Zorian, yeah. If you guys don't know, episode called The Guy Who Broke his dick over a year ago, probably. One of the first guests. And you guys are friends. Yeah. I don't also look like weirdly. Raina masturbates to both you. I don't masturbate to Ross, okay?

Wait, what does that mean? Holy Derek. I knew yourself having sex with. There's other things that you can't. I just don't know that I can imagine it. Guys, I wish you could see this right now. What is this is 82nd episode? I've never seen Raina so uncomfortable and nervous.

And you're usually the one making people uncomfortable. I know. I feel like I can't make Derek uncomfortable. Maybe that's what it is. Like, I look at him and he's like, you can't get to me. He really is. He's outdoing you. Yeah, it's hard for me.

Okay, so are you dating Thirstrab Girl? I have. Okay. Yeah. I think that, like, the tough thing with that is, I don't know. You have to not care and be, like, very confident in the fact that they're not also, you know, like, doing that because of the fact that they're trying to find new guys, that that's just, like, the way that they get likes. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. But the thing about that is, like, eventually, like, that has never worked out because of the fact that they have, they're so focused on, like, their phone and the attention that they're getting from there. So, I think that's, like, the negative thing about it. So, like, that actually at their core, they're like, I need this attention. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. But I think, like, thirst traps here and there, you know, like every fifth post or something.

Or, like, Instagram story only. So they go away. You know what? You could Instagram story a third trap every day. I'll send you one every day. One every day. And I like, I don't, I wouldn't judge that. And you seem like the kind of guy like, because Rain and I do them every once in a while and we like own it and self deprecating about it.

And I think you seem like you'd be the kind of guy like that. Like I'll like go into a dressing room if I'm feeling like thin and I like the lighting and I'll be like they're having half off sale today. And it's just like a clear thirst trap. Like I like to at least poke fun at it. Like we all know what we're doing. I don't just see my body. I write like 10 a.m. 10 a.m.

like 10 a.m. I look great. Absolutely. I look you to see it, but I'm going to give a funny caption. Exactly. It's like the ones that are, that's too much is you had the nail on the head. Wow. I didn't actually realize that until just now.

That's the ones that I have like been like, okay, well, maybe we'll see what's going on here. That aren't ironic. Exactly. Where they're like, they have a quote by someone famous that's not at all related to what they're doing. Yeah, like it's in a Maryland-in-row quote. Or it's like a selfie, like a sexy duck-faced selfie. And it's like, everybody get out and vote today.

Yes, exactly. And they're dead serious. Here's something I would say it's very strange. The immigrants, like, save the immigrants, and they're like, it's a duck-faced selfie. It's like, you're a terrible person. Those, I can't stand because it's like twice you're reaching for attention in both ways. Oh, it's a double reach.

It's a double reach. Okay, here's what I will say. I could never post something like that and not get roasted by everybody in my life. And, like, that's what I like about my friends. I posted something like a few weeks ago, because I was thirst-trapping somebody. In my apartment, I was wearing like a little crop top. and a pair of, like, boy shorts. And I was just like, work attire, like, 9 a.m. Thirstrap.

And my girlfriend immediately said my day, she was like, vagina lines at 9 a.m. It's Tuesday. And, like, that's the kind of people I want in my life. Same. That's why, after all the attention, I am still the same person because of my friends. You know, like, it hasn't changed me. It's so accurate. It's like your friends keep you grounded or your family members.

I mean, like, who is the girl out here? Like, what are your friends like that nobody is, making fun of you because like I post I agree. I post like the ironic shit and then I post people making fun of me for the ironic shit like I posted all the text messages after that getting made fun of. For sure. Absolutely. So like I don't know, make your thirst traps funnier girls. I don't

know. I mean but again not everybody is funny. Funny? Yeah. The one that like this is my, the most annoying one to me and this is probably a little bit controversial because like it's people who probably need a little bit of support and attention. It's when they ask for that. When they write like a whole nine paragraphs long where they're like,

so I've like things, this happened, this happened. I've been struggling a little bit lately. So I'm just going to post this because I think I look sexy in this one. And I'm just, I see that and my brain just goes, why are you posting on Instagram to get the positive

that's not, that's, don't do that. It's not, it's not good. That's the worst. Now, now you're like positive reinforcement of the worst possible attention. Right. And then, and that's where it all starts. That's how every Instagram thought was,

was born. Yeah. What's with that post with the nine paragraph post? Yeah. Or people being like, I've been going through a lot lately. Like you're literally like really hard, but they won't say what it is so that you,

they get flooded with comments. I hope you're okay. What's going on? Or like, you know, home for a few days for a tragedy. And like, wait,

the sympathy thirst trap. The sympathy thirst trap. Right. The sympathy thirst trap. This happened to him. I'm going to say who. Maybe someone I dated. And it was like,

the most sympathy thirst trap. It was like, he was like, it's been really rough, but we made it through or something like that. And then all these people are like, what's wrong? At the same time as it is like a selfie that's them looking, whatever, you know. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, you're so right.

It's so funny where you're like that person, they're admitting that they're looking for validation on Instagram, which is, I hate to knock what anybody's doing, but I'm also like, I just hope you figure it out. I hope you like find other ways to deal with this. Instagram likes because it's not real. Exactly.

Go to therapy. Don't post that on Instagram. Yeah. If you're looking for some help. Get a dog. That's where you go or a dog. You said you go to therapy. Yeah.

Always or are your recent therapy guy? Well, you're sad Derek. More recent. Cry Derek. Yeah, cry Derek. That's really what it's part. Is that the catalyst? You cried in the car and you dialed a therapist.

You felt the release and you were like, this feels good. I'm a sensitive guy. I'm going to pay somebody to let me do this weekly. Which isn't that kind of a weird thing to think about? You just said, like, you can't get to me. But I'm also a sensitive guy. Like, I am a sensitive guy. No, I just meant I can't make you uncomfortable.

I could, like, make you feel bad by yourself. Probably. Do we start? Should we start the roast? Why we brought you here today? No, I'm just kidding. Yeah, you're a sensitive guy. You're wearing man bracelets.

Yeah, exactly. I'm so glad you brought up the bracelets. Because I've been like, where's the window to bring up the bracelets? It's a new thing for me. I'm trying it out. Because the therapist told you. She's like, try your emotional side. Wear bracelets.

The first time I put one on, like, all I couldn't think of is, I don't know if you were your friends watchers, but when Ross, like, tries to wear the leather bracelet and his hand, like, blows up. On friends? Yeah. Yeah. Ross and all that leather. Because that didn't happen, I was like, okay, I think that they're okay to wear.

You're okay. You're okay. Okay. So you cried once on The Bachelor and started going to therapy. Yeah. My mom is also, she's like a spiritual life coach for people. Oh, sweet. Us too.

I have a sex rock under my bed. I don't know what those are. I have friends as spiritual life coach and she was like, we talked about this in the intro. And she gave me a stone to put under my bed for sexual prosperity in this new apartment. You can check it out later. Yeah, I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave after we record.

You can stay. Okay. So your mom. Back to your mom. How did my mom turn into sex rock? I feel like I'm making a mom. uncomfortable. I think I'm doing it.

Nice work, fans. Somebody had to. Nice. Well, like, because of that, I've always been a talker. So I'm the one, if there's anything that happens in a relationship that because of, I think she thing that I was, like, going through with my mom. So if, like, in a relationship, I have an issue with some, like, the person I'm with, you know, some people get mad and they, like, have to go for a walk or something.

And then they come back and they're fine. It's like, it's all gone. I have to, like, talk to you. Right away? Right away. I don't let it. I can't let it go. To find a good spot, right?

Not to find an understanding or whatever. And that annoys the shit out of some people. But that's, I think, why I also, therapy just made sense for me at that point too. I think that's good to recognize that. I think everybody's a little different as they get older. I think I've realized that my reaction to something in the moment is actually not how I'm going to feel in 24.

That's everybody. But it's not how I'm going to feel in 24 hours. So I do like to sort of take a beat and separate. because, like, I know what you're going to get for me. Minute one is, like, anger. And in a few hours or a day, you're going to get, like, compassion and understanding. So I do personally need some space.

Well, do you, do you, have you, obviously? Do you know the anagram, obviously? Yeah, I haven't done it yet. Well, so, we should actually do a whole episode on this. People ask all the time. But my, I don't, I only know it from reading Chelsea Handler's most recent book. Life will be the death of me. Highly recommend it.

But I just know what I am, because I'm the same as her. And it's, like, what your initial reaction, it's based on what your initial reaction is in the faced with conflict or something like that. And it's like anger, fear or sadness, I think, and I'm anger beyond. So I can't react to the moment. It's not good.

I've got to take the walk. I've got to take a few breaths. Like I get angry. She's bored of planes without me. She's gone on. And I've gotten better. But do you feel like that's a flaw? Are you saying you work on that in therapy?

No, no, no. It's not a flaw. I'm just like knowing myself. And I think because of that, that's why I was like naturally drawn to speak to somebody too. Yeah. It's just really like with a lot of the stigma. You just like to talk about yourself.

I love talking about myself. Why do you think I got a podcast? But you were wonderful on the show because at least what we saw on camera. Thank you. I know. You came across grade. You came across great. You had somebody coming at you really aggressively and they were also unwilling to talk,

which was to watch you diffuse that with this crazy person that was just in your face, but also not willing to talk was very crazy. I've never really seen someone act that wild. That was the first time I've ever been in that intensive. And you just... I don't even know what to call it. Do you think that it was irrational? I don't have to ask this.

Obviously, it's amped up for television a little bit on his end. But like, maybe he's just like that. I think he's just like that. Like, I think he just snapped. Goody young. And also, you know, not to get too deep in it, but like, you know, the way the show works is sometimes you are a little... He said he was like tired and anxious, but I don't know.

When I drink a whole bunch, and you're like, you're kind of a different version of yourself. The people in that show probably do have like hangover anxiety and then their heat exhausted and then like the cameras in your face. I don't, I'm not making sense. I mean, that's what all of reality TV shows are low, like a little bit, right? Yeah, they let's get people in this crazy state, right?

Away from everybody they know in love. Yeah, get them comfortable being in like a different state. Yeah. When you, do you talk about relationship stuff and therapy, obviously? Mm-hmm. What do you feel like your biggest issue that you feel like you need to work through when comes to relationships. Like we all have our own, our thing. My biggest issue is just like walls right now because of the fact that I

protect myself so much. Like my... Because you don't trust people. They don't trust people. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I think that's fair. That's totally like my thing is, I go, I waver between trusting too much and then being like, nope, not trusting anybody. Just like back and forth. And I don't, I haven't been able to find like that comfortable. The right. I would be scared if I were you. I'd be afraid if I were you. I mean, you have like half a million followers. You're on national television. My first thought would be what does this person want for me?

I mean, you're a great guy. You're good-looking, you're all the things. But, like, I mean, Ashley, oh, God, Jesus Christ. He touched her leg again, guys. I think, like, when I think about, like, what I want somebody, like, I want somebody who's, like, really, really proud of me and so excited and, like, so excited to tell people what I do, but not necessarily somebody that's a fan.

Exactly. And it's hard to find that balance. Like, I want somebody to be a fan of me because they're proud of me, not a fan, like a fan girl, I guess, you know? Have you dated someone? since you started the bachelor or bachelor's, I guess, that was not part of the whole thing? Like, if you had a relationship with like a non-a couple. I dated a girl to college with.

I like went the whole other route. I was like, oh, this is somebody I know so I can trust them. Yeah. Yeah. But you never know. And then, well, yeah, that was a whole thing. She then cheated on me later. So I couldn't trust her either.

Dare it. I know. There's been a couple other people and it's always been, again, like, somebody who is basically like, yeah, that shows dumb. You shouldn't have done that. And then I, you know, for me, I'm like, okay, perfect, you don't care. But the difference is exactly what you said. Usually that has broken down to where they're like of shame to tell people or

ashamed that people come up to me and talk to me about it. And to me now I'm like, okay, wait a minute, because that's who I, this is a part of who I am. You should not be ashamed of this. That's bullshit. Like, that's not okay. Right. Now you're, now like, I don't understand why you're comfortable dating me.

because if you can't, if you can be, like, proud of all of me, or supportive of all of me, then, like, absolutely. Oh, absolutely. I can't, I can't imagine if someone just demeaned something that I did. Like, oh, she has this podcast. We don't really talk about it, you know? Like, I would be, yeah, no, don't take that. Well, you're not going to change your life.

I mean, I've talked about this a couple times on the podcast, but, like, somebody said to me, like, somebody as public as you is my worst nightmare. That's what he said to me. And I was, like, so devastated by it. I, like, walked out of the bar and I was crying on the street. but I now like Ashley and I've talked about this so much like I'm not going to change my life for somebody

so if like if I'm your worst nightmare then that's how that person feels and that's just going to how it's going to be but I'm not going to change my whole career and my life and my friendship structure and my best friend and my business because of one person and no matter what that goes back to

what's like the perfect picture that we paint like what's the white picket fence picture and how stupid that is how bullshit that is and that like if people can just accept others for who they are. You know, maybe this person wants to not make much money and they choose to, like, you know, be a social worker or whatever. And like, that's that, like, if that's your barrier, oh no, like that's, that's, that's, I'm ashamed of the fact that they're not making whatever, like six figures a year. That's, that's something that you can really easily look at

and be like, well, that's really shitty that they would feel that way about that person. Right. But how is that any different than what you're talking about right now? It's actually literally the same thing. It's the same thing. It doesn't matter what it is. I really liked this episode. This is great. We're going to lighten it up with some other stuff. I'm sure. Yeah. We're going to, okay. We've gotten really deep. I love it. I'm not yet. We're going to ask you all. Ashley, if you want to take some photos of this happening. We're holding hands. No, we didn't, we didn't want this to be like a solely bachelor episode because we're like he's actually this great person and he's interesting and smart. Like we want to talk about other stuff with him. But we did post on our Instagram story what people, what kind of questions they

had for you. So we are going to answer bachelor nation questions. And if anything's too private, you'll tell us. No spoilers. Okay. So yeah, do do somebody to run through them? I don't know. How do you want to do it? I, okay, I just have one question. I just want to lob the first question of you, and then she

can do all the questions. Yeah, I'll just, yeah, that's what I meant, I wasn't talking to you, Derek. I was talking to Rayna. It's not about me. So the first, I asked she was earlier we were talking, but I have a girlfriend that went in a bachelor years ago. My first question for her was what a lot of people asked is, when you're not like on a date or filming, what do you do all day?

I mean, so on The Bachelorette, we had a bunch of people brought guitars, of course, because everyone wanted to be a professional musician. Everybody wanted to be a jid. Yeah. Oh, that really worked out. No, I don't think anyone has kicked off a career yet from doing that. So I don't know why people keep thinking they can. Well, you're trying.

You do it. You start you strap the guitar stuff. Oh, yeah. A little bit. We haven't even talked about your singing career. So you guys follow Derek. It's at Pat Derek. Yeah.

And you like, you do like black and white. Wait, Derek, I haven't meaning to tell you. I didn't, I didn't masturbate to this, but I probably could have. Like slow dancing in a burning room is one of my favorite songs. I love that song. And you really got into it. You did John Mayer's slow dancing in a burning room. Would you some program for this?

Uh, garage band. Oh, it's garage band. Okay. And I was like, this is fucking hot. I also love that song. That's what it's just the song. It also describes every relationship I've ever been in. Exactly.

Anyway. That's why I can get into it. That's why we love the song so much. I felt that. Because every relationship is always in a burning room. But here we are. We're still dancing. We're still doing it.

I'm still going to run this into the crowd. Still smiling. Guys, give him a follow. You can watch him sing into him a microphone with his guitar. I'm sorry. So that's what you do all day long. You just sit around. Do you guys drink while you're by yourselves?

Of course. And they've like instituted this new thing where you can only have two drinks per hour. Like there's a little. bunch of articles about that now. Okay. But just because I think they want people to not, they don't want, they don't, like,

that's not what the show is about. Yeah. It's like how stupid, that's like a Bravo show, you know, like how stupid can be. Yeah, that's a good call. They like wanted to still be about like the relationships and stuff.

So, uh, you know, just like try, whatever, it's like doing this for 12 hours a day, all day, every day. Yeah. Just talk.

Just talking. Uh-huh. So they want you to have truth serum, but not too much truth serum. That's right. Just two, two drinks an hour. All right.

let's go through this. I guess, well, do we have you to plead the fifth? If you can't answer, I just plead the fifth. Okay. Okay. Go as far as you can. Go the fourth, you know? Okay. Number one, obviously, I want to know this too. Would you be the bachelor? Yeah. I think, like, I think when it comes down to that question, there's a lot of back and forth on this. Actually, I'm going to ramble on this one. Yeah. We got time. So, I think this comes back to like people being afraid of someone seeing, who they fully are on do the thing that they're supposed to do. And like, that's a PR thing going back for years and years and years of course.

And so people are always like, well, I don't know. It's like a really big responsibility. And like, it's the lead on a TV show. Right. It's not, you're not becoming president of the United States. Like, that's not. Which also is the same thing. These days.

Reality show is the perfect launching point to. Actually, you could be the president after that. Maybe you should be the bachelor. But I think like as long as you know who you are and you don't think that that would like change from being in like on the show. If people are like not sure of themselves, don't do it. But I very much think I know who I am. And so like why would I worry about that changing me in some way?

That's a super cool thing. I can always go back and be a banker anytime. Yeah. So I think it's I think it's ridiculous how much people downplay that. And I think it's it's more about, them trying to put a certain image out for themselves. And again, that's stupid. Like, we've had enough of that.

People need to stop doing that stuff. I love that you answered it that way. I just think people, I mean, don't even get me started. The whole, like, Black Bachelor. I have a lot of thoughts. But I mean, people overwhelmingly were, I think, like, I saw a lot of you kind of late in the game and then just so much Mike. But Mike for the most part, yeah.

God, Mike is commenting on Demi Lovato's Instagram. You see this? Yeah. As Demi Lovato posted a really great Instagram post showing her body unedited and her cellulite. Cellulet was the hashtag. It was really great. And Mike, that's clever, actually. I didn't see the hashtag. Mike got in there. Because these bachelor people are dating. What? Tyler C is like allegedly dating Gigi. He is dating her. Her grandma died. He went with her to the funeral. I want him to flew over to Europe. Yeah.

For a funeral. I think he's dating. But they are like major majors. They are, you guys are really huge celebrities today. It's so, it's so wild. I think Wells broke that barrier. Welles walks. With the girl from, yeah. With Sarah. Sarah, yeah. Okay, I have a question, and I think that this is funny. How much sex actually happens during Bachelor in Paradise?

Originally, like, that was, I didn't do it the first time around, like, after the Bachelorette because people were like, oh, it has a bad rap. It's just like them having sex on the beach the whole time. And you're like, I'm not going to play into this. You know sex for me? Yeah. No, but at the time. You're like, I'm celibate.

I'm celibate. I'm celibate now. I'm in therapy and I wear bracelets. Yeah. Oh, God. Don't come on this show if you can't take a joke. He's fine. Raina went to double down.

Raina's like, also fuck you. He didn't even say anything. Ask me out, just try it. I'm just going to get her back by putting my hand on the leg. And then she won't know what to say. I've never seen her look so uncomfortable.

But, but there's like boom boom rooms. You can keep her there. I told you to stop. Get in there. There's boom boom rooms. And by the way, with the AC in them.

So that's where... All I would be doing was fucking. Like, if that's where the AC is, all I'm doing is fucking. Or do you just go there, you pretend like you're going to... Masturb. So I'm in the booming room masturbating.

We got to talk about the AC. Yeah. It looks so hot. And every man is beads of sweat. I mean, you're in Mexico in this... Wait, when did it tape? It's in June, so it's summer. It's really quick.

Like after they edit it very quickly. Very quickly. And four hours a week. It's a lot. It's so much to you. June and Mexico. And, like, it doesn't look like there's any AC in, like, the bedroom areas, right? No, there's no AC.

How do you sleep, Derek? Wait, why don't they put an conditioning in the bedroom? Big-ass fans. This is, like, the resort that they have, which is, like, beautiful. Oh, it's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's really is. But, but, like, that's one of the things that they just don't have.

Air. But that's a whole thing in a lot of, like, Central America. Of course. Well, in Toulou. I mean, we're, exactly. Yeah, it's just, like, the open concept. It's not like a Marriott. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. Thank God. Like, can you imagine. Imagine filming a TV show at a Marriott. I love it. The AC and the Marriott is on point. I'm a huge. I run my AC basically around the clock.

I love my apartment. You guys should be together. I mean, people are going to listen to this episode. It's going to be like the Dan Soder episode where they're like, who is really flirting with him? I feel like people really liked you for Dan Soder. He used to be due his dad, but he's not anymore. I.

No, he has one. Oh, come on. All right. Who's Derek? You know what? Who's his current dad? The Conbombie. trainer. Oh, yeah, obviously. Sorry, I was thinking about the guests. But while we're talking about

dogs, I have to say this tweet. This is one of my favorite tweets about when people were really on Twitter, like Derek for the Bachelor. And it was two screenshots, Derek, of your follows on Instagram. And she tweeted, can we talk about how Derek recently followed 20 plus dog accounts in a row? This is the kind of Bachelor energy we need in our lives and also someone please check on him. So I was talking with my therapist. I knew your therapist was going to come into this. You're a dog love. And they were like, you need to get bracelets, first of all, because it's a comfort. It's a comfort factor.

And start following dogs on Instagram. I mean, the thing is, like, going back to our thirst trap conversation, I just, like, got so tired of seeing the same shit all the time on my feed. And it was, like, all people looking for attention. And, like, I mean, of course, this is people with dogs who are looking for their dogs to get attention. But, I mean, their dogs. It's better attention.

Yeah. I look at that and it just like makes me happy. So I actually like recommend everybody. Go find as many dog accounts as you can. Add all of them on your Instagram feed. And you will. Oh, it's my whole feed. Dogs and koalas.

Corgi's and koalas. There's like eight koala accounts. I follow them all. I can let you know if you're interested. And also one time someone did Google my follows and they just probably typed in like started to type the word corgi and like they saw at least, I feel at least 50 corgi accounts. So Derek, okay, you are due his new dad now.

Okay. people really want to know just in general, like, just JPJ. Like, is he like that? Was it? Yeah. Okay. He's like that. I think, like, something that a lot of people, well, two things.

So first of all, there's, I get so many questions about like, well, how scripted is it? Or like when stuff like that. That's on this too. Yeah. Tons of this. That's how, like, that's so many people ask that. And when stuff like that happens, they're like, well, it was obviously a scripted scenario. No, this is a unscripted show.

that's like what reality TV is technically called, right? It's like unscripted. This is an unscripted show. We are just living our lives. There's zero guidance on that. They are not like, oh, you know, like, can you try that again? Can you do that again in a different way? Okay.

No, we're not actors. I freaking work at a bank. Like, I'm not on the side. An actor who can cry on command in front of a camera, you know? Well, I think reality shows got a, not a bad rap, but like you see shows like the hills, which I'm so deep in too. And you never see them talking, it's a lot of voiceovers. So you'll hear like Adriena talking, but they'll be filming hiding it's because it's all voiceovers.

Because they're like, can you resay that in a different way? Are you hear it in a different tone? It's not really them talking. The Hills even feels more scripted. Like you're in the ads they're doing now. Like it feels different than The Bachelor. Right. Well, that iconic last scene where they like pool all the sets and stuff.

And I thought that was so great. Exactly. But I think that's what started it where people think that. And I think like a lot of people going back, I've always called people out for this. They make the, they use that and they use that as like an excuse to say, well, that was the editing. Yeah, I got a bad edit. That is really not the case.

It is really, really hard to get a bad edit. And that is strictly, seriously, like, that is just a bullshit excuse. And whenever, if people say that in front of me too that I've been on the show before, I'll be like, you know how big of an excuse that is? I had the same opportunity to say the same stuff as you did. you don't get to put words in people's mouth. Like, they say those things. Right.

And sure, like, of course there's, it's like weird circumstances, whatever, and stressful scenarios. But you still get to choose. Like, nobody's making those decisions for you. Absolutely. Yeah, the words are coming out of your mouth. This is not a question. That's what it says.

She says, not a question, but I totally let that man wear my vagina, like a breathing apparatus. I don't even know what that means. You're thinking about it? Do you wear breathing apparatus? Like, I think she just means she wants to smother your, face with her vagina. This, you probably can't answer this, but whatever.

We'll ask it anyway. Who was a better kisser, Tasha, Demi? Wait, did you kiss, Tasha? Yeah. Oh, you did kiss. Yeah, you did. Yeah. I want to answer.

Are you cool with Demi? Yeah. And then what did you think of Christian? Christian and I are friends now. Okay. She seemed cool. She seemed like really like Loki. I liked her energy.

She is. I mean, like, especially considering that she got thrown into a situation, she was not ready for her. Yeah, that was crazy. They brought her. I have a question. this girl is really after my own heart. What should they give you to eat on Bachelor of Paradise?

And let's talk about the date food. So Raina, she's not as invested, but they don't eat the date food and they addressed it. I feel like for the first time on this season. That was one of my favorite scenes where they were like, you don't eat the date food. So there's always these beautiful plates of food, if you guys aren't familiar with the show, and you never eat.

Which a lot of it's probably because you're miced up and you can't listen to you chewing and eating. It's hard to talk and eat on camera. Is it fake food? It's not. It's real food. If you go back and look at the earlier seasons, they actually do eat, and it's not a good. It's not a good luck.

They learn from that, yeah. Because you're trying to have a conversation with food in front of you. Yeah, exactly. You know, when you go on a date and it actually takes you like, it's a good day, you know, because it takes you like an hour and a half to eat your food. We're both just like actually talking. Right. And then taking little bites here and there.

So, and also like with the mics, obviously you're chewing. That's going to sound super weird. So they feed us basically whatever we want to at the. Like in what kind of scenario? Is there like buffets that out? Or do you guys order just food all day? A lot of tacos. A lot of tacos.

Yeah. Basically all guacamole. Okay. There's like craft services kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. My favorite thing about, I'm so glad you asked that. J.P.J.

How many times did he throw up? He threw up every day. Oh my God. I didn't know all of that. So now when I'm watching it back, I'm just, I... It's hysterical. I don't know what kind of doctor it is for your stomach, but... Mexico will fuck you up.

Worst food poisoning in my life. Um, let's see. I have a bad experience with that, too. You did? I got so skinny. It was right before our holiday shows. I looked amazing. It's the best ever looked.

Someone wrote, um, this is one of the questions. We asked questions for you, Derek, and someone asked us, are tickets to your New York show on Ticketmaster real? They are guys. Go get to get tickets on Ticketmaster. Um, are you saying, you're, you're totally single right now, right? Yeah. Okay.

Okay. Was there anyone who wasn't on Bachelor in Paradise that you were hoping they would send? down. They ask, do they ask it in advance? They do. No, not really. You know, I actually always went into both shows, just like super open-minded. And especially more with this one, because actually the first time through, like, Taylor was somebody, I was like, I don't want to meet her.

And then we ended up, you know, like, because you never know. Starting a relationship, because you never know, yeah. So this time around when they asked me, is there like, who you do want? Who do you not want? Basically, I was just like, whatever, I'll get there and I'll figure it out. I'll fuck whoever. Are you, so you and you and, you and, you and, you and, you showed me that Instagram and you guys can go look at J.P.J.'s Instagram and what Derek commented and threw him some shade. It was beautiful.

You guys aren't, I wouldn't say you're friends, correct? So the funny thing, no, yeah, we... You guys are together. The funny thing is we are our best friends. Someone like that, just that is like willing to put somebody else, throw somebody else underneath the bus. It's just like such a shitty thing to do. And plus, especially like watching it back now and seeing that like... That was wild.

Think about the kind of people that do that in your normal life that are willing to do that. You don't want that for us in your life. How old is that guy? 24? Like I always think about like we've, whatever, I've had a problem with somebody recently who's much younger than May. And I keep being like, oh, they're young, they're young, they're young. But then I try to think like, well, when I was that age, I wasn't like that.

I wasn't like that. But I think that's probably who you are at your core. But I'm sure in 10 years he will look back on and be like, that was ridiculous. Or maybe even like in 10 days. I mean, he's already put this apology out there. Are you people want to know about Blake? Are you friends with Blake? Yeah.

Blake's a nice guy. He just like handled something really stupidly. Yeah. Really, really stupidly. Okay. That's fair. He was like my number one. I thought he was like so hot and I loved his whole vibe.

And then I obviously was very turned off by the whole thing. And it just, I don't know. It seemed weird that he all of a sudden he was like, wait. With Christina. Yeah. I made the joke on our podcast last week that it was like every early 2000s romcom. Someone said, why is he quoting when Harry met Sally? Oh yeah, that's right.

I did see that after the fact. Who is your, people want to know who your best friend is in the franchise? Wells. Oh, Wells. Yeah. Okay. I have a question. Do you watch the show?

Do you watch yourself on the show? Every week, every episode. It's very weird, too. Yes, I do. It takes a little bit of alcohol to help me do it. Totally. It's such, it's super anxious. Yeah, I do watch with friends.

I feel like that when I listen back to our podcast. It's like taking a bullet. I'm like, what did I say? And then I'm like, oh, it's not as bad as I think it's going to do. No. No, I don't. I can't relate. I was talking to a guy friend.

I was talking to Francis. We've had Francis on. I went on his podcast and he doesn't listen back to his podcast. And I was like, oh, I was like, oh, I do. I love it. And he goes, well, yeah, but you have to edit it. I'm like, no, no, no, recreationally I listen. And he's like, you're fucking crazy.

I do the same thing as you. I listen back. So the TV shows are a totally different thing than the podcast. Oh, yeah. I do too. People on Facebook, somebody was like, are you a radar and Ashley and some girl was like a marina, but I aspire to be. be and Ashley.

As narcissistic. No. So what were you saying? You listen? Oh, I listen back to our podcast all the time. Because that's the same thing. I'm like, I want to know, oh, that was good. That was really good.

That was really bad. Don't do that again. That kind of thing. But I definitely listen back and laugh at us by myself on the subway. I'll be like laughing. I'm like, if anyone knew the layers behind what's going on? I can't listen to us on a plane because like it's so close and everybody's like, why is she crying?

Well, and also, like, we edit this podcast, and I edit it exactly how I went to sound. So there's plenty of times I've gone on another podcast that I've listened back and cringed is something I've said. Like, I have a meltdown recently because I was like, I hate that I came across this way and it ended up being fine. I overreacted per usual. So let me see. I think the nicest compliment I ever got was I want to be Raina, Ashley in the streets

and Raina in the Sheets. Yeah. They always say, are you Raina and Ashley? And overwhelmingly, it's Ashley in the streets, Raina in the streets. So Rain is basically Rain is trash and I'm bad in bed is what they're saying. Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much.

Okay. Are you ready? This one's really deep. Okay. What's your sign? Oh, I'm Sagittarius. Okay. What's your birthday?

December 6th. Okay. December 6th. I thought that was Scorpio. What's Scorpio? Girl, like October. Yeah. With this like intense look about what my sign is.

Sagittarius, I feel like, from what I know, you guys can be kind of like always want a new adventure kind of hard to pin down. Do you think that's accurate or you feel pretty stable? I think that might be accurate actually. I don't know. I've never, I don't get into this stuff so I haven't thought about this. This is just like a odd off the top. I moved like seven times in the last nine years.

There it is. Sag energy. Yeah. Big Sag energy. You guys are my nightmare because I always fall in love with guys like you. And then because like you seem exciting. I really do. I know you do.

I like, I love the circle of me making dare uncomfortable on him making you. I like this guy for so long. He's also Sagittarius. He's like a very small birthday as yours. And it's a nightmare. You people are nightmares. But I like, I can't quit you. I like see something shiny. I have to have it. That's Sagittarius people to me. You're my shiny thing. What do you feel across the board? I'm going to ask another one that I want to know. Do women say like you're so something like that's that they don't that is it like that you are hard to pin down or do you feel like you're noncommittal at all? No, I'm actually, once I feel like I want to commit towards someone, I definitely make that decision. I'm very much like, I know my nose, but I don't know like the maybe yes. Like that one, it's a small group of people that I like at that point.

So I think because of that, I shut down a lot of people early that where I'm just like, no, I'm sorry, this isn't going on. We love that. We had Mark Manson on the show, the art of not giving a fuck. Yeah, yeah. And he is, yeah. And he is this article. He said, if it's not a fuck yes, it's a fuck no. Yeah, exactly.

That's how my thought process is too. All right. Well, this has been so great. 10 a.m. on a Saturday. Thank you for doing, thank you for me our first guest in this apartment. I know. I had to give my virginity story because, you know, here we are.

Because the apartment's a virgin. Yeah, you've christened it. Okay, any, like, closing remarks? You want people to follow you? What do you? Plug your podcast. Yeah, plug your stuff. If you guys want to find it, you'll find it.

But it's called the best. First guest ever. It's called The Bachelor. Feel free to Google me. Google me. Okay. Google me. Google me. Mike drop. Oh, my God.

Wow. Derek, we've had people way more famous than you that did not say shit like that. I don't know. All right, guys. We'll Google us too. Bye. I'm just kidding. Find us at Girls Gottyapodotcast.com.

Stupid live shows. com. Girls got to eat podcast on Instagram. Girls underscore got to eat on Twitter. And we'll see you at all of our shows. We announced our holiday show. Get those tickets. They're going quick.

We'll see next week. Bye, guys. Thanks for having me.