Girls Gotta Eat - Country Clubs and Sex Toys with Heather McMahan (and Jeff)

Episode Date: June 3, 2024

We could not be more excited for our Dear Media debut with fellow Dear baddie Heather McMahan! We're discussing her red carpet reporting (with some tea), how LA makes you feel fugly (but is temple filler the answer?), and what her next Netflix special is about. Then we bring in Heather's husband Jeff aka "the Italian Stallion" and we discuss their iconic relationship – secrets to keeping it spicy after 13 years (and which sex toys they have), how they balance each other, why actually being friends is so important, and why they have two country club memberships. And we discuss two major decisions they are continually facing: "Where should we eat tonight?" and "When should we have a kid?" Before Heather and Jeff join us, we are reintroducing ourselves (and Ashley short circuits), having an introspective conversation about change, and revealing which infamous GGE guy just resurfaced in Rayna's life. Enjoy! Follow Heather on instagram @heatherkmcmahan, watch her special Son I Never Had on Netflix, listen to her podcast Absolutely Not, and check out her website. Follow us on Instagram @girlsgottaeatpodcast, Ashley @ashhess, and Rayna @rayna.greenberg. Visit GirlsGottaEat.com for tour dates, merchandise, and more. Shop Vibes Only. Thank you to our partners this week: Nutrafol: Get $10 off your first month's subscription + free shipping at nutrafol.com with code GGE. Skims: Shop the Skims T-Shirt Shop at skims.com. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you've been married, people love to think that we don't like to have sex with each other. I make jokes about it. Oh, I got to do the sex. I still really love you and I love having sex with you. I'm still into her. Back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. This podcast is now a Dear Media production. Yes, it is.

So we are so excited to announce that we are under the Dear Media Network. We love them, love the shows, love their hosts. We've had tons of them on. We have one today. We've had the Rickman. And we're just, we're thrilled to be there. We really are. It is so full circle.

I'm just going to give you guys a little tea that we met with Dear Media in 2018. We met with Michael Bostic, who was the owner of the company and Paige, who is the president. We had lunch with them in New York when we lived there at La Pecor, Bianca, and Flatiron. And we loved them. And they were really new. And they only had a few shows. And they were like, we really want to focus on women in the podcasting space. And this, you know, this wasn't the very first days of podcasting, but it was still early on.

And there was no other reason than just there was like something else. It was like a better fit for us at the time. But we love them and we've always stayed in touch with them. And it just kind of happened. And it's really exciting. And when we were working all the details and like closing this deal page brought up like, do you remember when we had that lunch? And I was like, of course we remember. Like this has been a long time coming. And we made it happen and we couldn't be more excited. I mean, they are really the best of the best when it comes to women in podcasting specifically, but just, you know, like all the best shows and we're just so happy to be a part of it. Yeah. So same great show. It's a comedy show about sex dating and relationships every Monday.

Same host. Same as well. We'll reintroduce ourselves. But same show, new cover art, sexier. Yes. Polished. And our second big announcement. This is such a long time coming, you guys.

And we have talked about this for so long because Ashley and I, I mean, the core of our friendship is talking shit and laughing at stuff, mostly pop culture, and like voice-toning back and forth every night. So we're thrilled to announce we have a second episode per week coming out every Thursday and it'll be a little shorter, pop culture based. We're really excited. It is going to be called The Snack. So yes, a little lighter, not the full meal. If you're on Ozmpic, no. You just aren't consuming as much.

And of course, our Monday episodes will still be all the dating, sex, relationship content, the guest interviews. all of that. And this Thursday episodes are going to be a lot of the same stuff that we've talked about before. You know, what we've been watching, reading, listening to, and then just talking shit on what's happening in pop culture, in the zeitgeist, niche drama. I just love some like influencer

drama, like things like that. So some reality TV, you know, I wanted to do a whole show just recapping Bravo every week, but our friendship is not angered in Bravo. Unfortunately. Those already exist. Other people have done that. We've done it. We'll let them keep doing it. But we'll see how it evolves.

We really just want to provide you guys more content and that second episode and really do some of that stuff even deeper on the snack. So this week it'll be the first episode of that. Yeah. So we'll see you on Thursday and every Monday and Thursday then after. Every Monday and Thursday. And of course we are going to share some more about it. But we have a few partners this week. Yeah.

I just want to thank a couple partners up top. Neutrofo long time partner of ours. Get $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping at neuterful.com with the code GGE. and Skims, who we love, shop the Skims T-shirt shop at skims.com. And we have our own website, Girls Gotta Eat.com. That has all of our partners, all the codes, all of the episodes we've ever done. So all that is there for you as well. Okay.

So should we introduce, reintroduce, allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is H to the... I think you want to do it. I don't totally know. Could you feel I was like unconfident? H to the OV. So when we first started the podcast in February 2018, Raina was sick. You just heard her cough.

She was sick every day for months. I've been holding it for so long. Yeah. And thank you for coughing into your elbow. Well, you told me I have two. Well, this is my house, but it is your studio. I will cough in my body. My body, my choice.

No, Raina used to be the sick one. And then I turned into the sick one. And now we're back to me having a superior immune system. I'll get sick tomorrow now that I said it. Well, I was just, I've been banging around a little bit more than you have lately. literally banging people more than you have lately Rayna's been inhaling I got my group back people

and I'm on my second UTI of the summer Don't even say I think it's the first one just came back I think it's just recurring I know it's not the second one It's that same one is going to stay with you Yeah it's round two and it's migrated its way from my vagina Just up my body into my throat and now like my nose and my ears So I am sick you coroner reached out to me, which is top-tier marketing. They were like, hey, we heard you have a UTI.

I was like, thank you so much, you, Cora. If you have UTI, use your Cora. They're not a partner today. No, they're not. They're the best in the biz. But if you listen to the podcast from the first year, I do sound sick every day. And that's because I was. Yeah, that's because you were. But you really just held it together. I was like, this bitch is choking back coughs. I was impressed because I don't roll like that. I don't power through. I'm sick. You're not a power thrower. No. So luckily, it's like fewer and farther between. But when we did that, episode we just introduced ourselves and we said like hi i'm actually and i do this and i'm an influencer and i'm a writer and da da da and you said your stuff but i thought it'd be fun to do like a quick little i'll let you speak on

yourself but i'll thought it'd be fun to do a quick little reintroduction yeah if you're new around here allow me to introduce myself yes so well most importantly this is a zool he's more important than both of us this is the girl's got to eat mascot he has been with us since april of 2021 we started the podcast we had my other dog Dewey and he passed RIP to the King early 2021 and we did an episode about and everything. And if you know, you know, and Azul came along a few months later and he was a foster fail and he's just such an icon. And so he's the girl's got to eat mascot and we love him and we are big rescue dog advocates over here and you'll see more of him if you're a new run here. But I'm Ashley. I'm his mom. Azul's mom. Mama. I'm just faith, family.

So I'm Azul's mama and manager. And I am Ashley. I'm having a stroke as we speak. I'm going to look right at the camera. I'm Ashley and I'm having a stroke. Call 9-1-1. Why, it's weird. You said it like four times.

You guys aren't sure. I'm Raina. This is Ashley. Oh, let's out our heights in this. So I'm Ashley. Sorry, you should introduce yourself again. Say my name. You guys take a shot.

Every time she says her name. I just say my name for the sixth time. I'm Ashley. I am five. And I'm 5'10 like Cindy Crawford. And no, I am 40 years old. Physically, obviously 27. Yeah.

So she represents the Mamalas and the Gen Z. Yeah, exactly. I relate to you and your mom. And I am the co-as-girls. Are you okay? You guys, take a shot every time Ashley tells you something you already know. Okay, okay. I am from Delaware. I went to Clemson University. I am 40 years old. I already said that. And I'm a stand-up comedian. You wouldn't guess it. You wouldn't guess it from this. She's a great storyteller, but you guys couldn't tell. I have an aunt. I have two nephews. My hobbies include masturbating and listening to Beyonce, very passionate about Beyonce. I've made some notes. My main personality trait is keeping the window shades down on the airplane. You did yell at me across.

the plane about that the other day. I didn't yell at you. She made herself known. Because you were the only bitch just with your window shade open on the whole, in the whole cabin. It was just like a blinding light. But then you shut it. I have gotten better. You like to take off. I get it. I like to watch the take off. But also like, listen, hear me out. I don't have to talk about airplane behavior any longer than we always do. I listen to headphones. I want to look at something. And what I look at is the clouds. You just stare at the clouds the whole time. Yeah. That's what I don't know what else you're going to look at. You watch TV, don't you?

Sometimes. Yeah. My TV wasn't working the other day, so I watched the clouds a little bit to you made me shut my windows. Anyways. But we sat together on a plane and it was so nice. This girl messaged me and she was like, I'm on a plane and I guess she was in the aisle and there was the guy in the window. He was sleeping eye mask on, shade open.

I'm like, it makes me feel crazy. And she was like, I don't know what to do. Everybody is trying to sleep on this flight. It's like blinding light. Like all the windows shades are closed. She's like, I don't know. She was like, I don't know. She was like, it makes.

I need help. I need support. And I was like, just reach over and shut it. Absolutely. And she was like, I did it. And the plane applauded me, of course. Of course. And she was like, thank you so much for giving me the courage. I can't believe she did. Ashley, I need help. She just needed me to say it. You know, she just needed that extra step of encouragement. Reach across. Boop. And I gave it to her. And I am in a relationship. I'm in a long distance relationship. I've been in it for about a year. We call him Sparkle Eyes on the podcast. And it's been an amazing year. I've talked about it on the show. I don't need to talk about it anymore. But we started the show. I was single. I was single for the whole time.

You know, and this is where I'm at. This is where you find me. Yeah. I'm Raina. I'm only going to say it once. So I hope you guys listened. I am the co-host of Girls Got to eat. And I don't have a dog or boyfriend.

I don't want either of those things. You're living free. So I'm killing it. I'm from Pittsburgh. I went to Indiana University. I am about to be an aunt, which I'm very excited about. All my friends around me have nephews. And I'm just really jealous.

I wanted a niece, but they're not giving you. anyone. It's been a lot of boys lately. Yeah. But I have a background in food blogging, actually. I started a food Instagram account, like pretty early on in Instagram, and it really blew up, and I became a food and travel influencer and photographer, and I had a blog, and I quit my job in tech and traveled the world doing that, and that's how I'm at Ashley. We met Aruba seven years ago, so that is really my passion when I care so much about, and I spent all my time doing that. I'm a long time New Yorker. I live there for 15 years, and moved to Los Angeles recently, and I read a lot of books, go to the beach a lot and that's my life. Yeah, we both were in New York. I was there for six years.

Rainer was there for 15. I was in Atlanta before that. So I love Atlanta. And shout out to all our Atlanta listeners. And then we moved to L.A. to just kind of test drive it early 2023. And we're like, let's stay. This is kind of dope. Yep. So here's where we're at now. That's where we're at now. And then last but not least, Tessa is with us in the studio. And she's our longtime assistant. And I think that's everybody. She's a Californian as well. Yeah. So I think as we have reintroduced ourselves. I've been thinking just a lot about change in general and the way things change over time and the way things change but still stay the same. You know, like I have just been thinking about this evolution of our podcast and our careers and our friendships and our relationships and

things that we thought six years ago versus now, things we thought six months ago and we think now. And just this move to dear media and there were certainly times in our career where we would have been like, no, we really like the like level of independence that we had. I mean, we had a network that was selling our ads and we really loved working with them. But we're happy. We got a good thing going. And then something comes along that's an opportunity that really feels right at the moment you take advantage of it. And it's been on my mind a lot, like the way that we all grow and change and should be allowed to do so.

You know, I think sometimes people wrongly criticize, probably women were the men, but, you know, whatever. That's just the world that we live in for like changing your opinions on things or you said you were going to do this and you said you never do this. and now you're doing this. And it's just like, I just always want to remind myself and others that that is just the human experience. You know, we all grow up. We all get new information. New people come in our lives.

Our circumstances change. And I just think that's just a really beautiful thing, you know. I feel like there's been a lot of things throughout my life where I've said, like, I'll never do that hard stance. And I've pivoted and I try to not be so rigid anymore about it. I mean, I think you and I try to be good people. We have like morals and values. And like, we know where we stand on this.

uncertain things. But like to say like I'll never do that or I can't see my life like that, I think you and I have changed our ideas about marriage. And I've changed my ideas about wanting kids and where you see your life going. And I think it's just good to kind of be open to the universe and change that comes your way. And you and I, we look through every door and kind of see what's behind it. And I think it's nice to just hold space to like allow yourself to do that. Yeah.

I think most people really realize this. But then sometimes, you know, you see other people who don't. I just think it's like a solid reminder to like remember. that this is what it is like to be a person in the world that wants to like grow and evolve. I mean, Raina would have never said she would live in L.A. Like, she would have been like, you can bury me in New York. Like, I'm never living in that city. You had a boyfriend that lived here.

And you were like, I'm not coming there. And then he moved to New York. And then when you broke up and you moved here, you know, like, I said their first episode of the podcast ever, I'm getting engaged this year. Like years later, I'd be like, I'm not getting married. Like, that's not for me. That's off brand. And now I'm like, I would get married. And I saw some comment of someone recently that was pretty aggressive.

It was like, Ashley, you said you'd never live with somebody. And now you talk about it. And how dare you? Are you going to address this? I'm like, address what? My mind may have changed. Like, it's interesting. I always want to just as a reminder to like understand that other people should give you the space to evolve and change.

And, you know, that's like a perfect example. It's like, I think we say things. I don't see myself ever doing that. But, you know, you never know. And you're allowed to change your mind. Sarah Cooper was on our show and she talked about these like ideas that you marry yourself to and you're like I'm this and this is what I've decided I am and you keep forcing yourself into this box. But like people change and they evolve. They get new information. They want new things. I never thought I would be happy not living in the middle of the East Village in the center of everything. And I'm older now. I want different things. I socialize differently. I drink less. I want more quiet. I want better weather. I think that her whole episode really was talking about how we just sort of like force ourselves into this one version of ourselves and one day that doesn't make us happy anymore. And like you are allowed to change your mind.

Yeah. And this move to Dear Media. I mean, we had a really good thing going and we had someone who did our ads since the beginning, you know, since 2018. And having the conversation with her was like the hardest breakup we've ever had. I mean,

she is truly like part of our family, you know, we just jokingly were like, she's our other mom. You know, we love her so much and she's done so right by us and to have to tell her like, we're not going to work with you. this capacity anymore. Obviously, we're going to stay in touch. It was like, we were in tears.

I mean, it was like so difficult. And I think that's a reminder of like, this is the right move. We're moving in the right direction. And she understands that too. But it was just difficult. Those are just tough conversations and tough breakups to have. It just reminds me we moved here because I was like so gutted moving here. Yeah. I cried so hard. But like that doesn't mean that it was like a bad decision. And I really wrestled with myself so much. Like, why am I so hysterical over this move here? Why am I crying constantly and I can't let it go? Like, what does this mean about my identity? And like, you can be really sad about the end of one thing.

That doesn't mean that it's bad to end it. Like, yeah, when we talked to Beth, it was when we were crying and it was like you said, but this is the best move for us. And I think the hot take change can be really hard. But you are allowed to change your mind. Yeah, you're allowed to change your mind. I think about this a lot. I was just like, I can't imagine living with a partner.

I don't think I'm going to subscribe to that life. And now, you know, it is like on the table. I'm not hiding anything. Like, there's just discussion. being had because I'm in a long distance relationship. You know, if we lived in the same city in different homes, what a dream. That would be.

Listen, if you live in the same city as your partner and you have separate homes, just keep it that way. You live in the dream. That sounds amazing. I know. I want somebody around four to five days a week. I love him. I want to be around him all the time.

It does nothing to do with the relationship, but I'm like, I'm wrestling with it. Well, you and I kind of. I've talked about this and you obviously, you'll just share more as this goes on, but like being able to share information with somebody and having them see it through different types of scopes. Because like I think you can say to different partners, I love you. I want you to live near me, but I don't want you to live with me. And I think that like every partner will digest that differently. Oh, it reminds me of pre-ups. Because like some people will say to their partner like,

I'd like to sign a pre-up and some people digest that is like, so you think we're going to break up. Right. But other people will hear that as like, yeah, obviously. Because as we said in the show, you do have a pre-up, it's what the state says. Yeah. And some people hear it through that lens. It's just how you sort of choose to digest the information. Yeah. And so that is the current change I'm dealing with of just like what would make the most

sense for me and my partner. And I would love so many things about living with him. I love him. I want to be with him. It has something to do with that. I'm fully committed to the relationship. So is he. But I am this person that still holds the same ideals of like, these are the things I don't

love about it. Like that didn't change, you know, but sometimes. you have to just figure out what works best and hope you make the right decision. I think also you just meet people sometimes that change your mind. Totally. You always hold space for having kids the tiniest space. But like, yeah, you've always said, like, I don't really spend it something with a partner, but then you met a partner and now you're not talking about a hypothetical situation

with an imaginary person. Now you're talking about a real situation with a real person. And you're like, okay, well, with this person, I could do this and be happy. Like, that's how you feel about kids. I think people should date me as though I don't want to have kids. But I guess there's a place in the world where I could meet somebody and I could be like, this would be really great with this person. And we know, we have friends like that that have just been hard nose on kids and they meet

a new partner and they're like, yes. So I think that like, just because you've gone on a media tour telling everybody, I'm never going to have children doesn't mean you can't meet a person and change your mind. You're allowed to change your mind. Right. I'm never going to have children. Let me say right to the camera. And if I change my mind, comment me all you want.

Something has happened. I know that I look 27, but it's still, I still. Why, Ashley was talking about my dad this the other day. And he goes, oh, you can't have children. He goes, oh, that's not even worth talking about anymore. And I was like, I can have kids, dad. Yeah, that's not fair. And he's like, could you though?

Your dad's roasting you? He's like, did you freeze your eggs? You're like, no, he's like, oh. Well, then we don't need to talk about this anymore. You're actually not having kids. People have kids way over whatever age it is. She won't share. Also, people in the comments are like, she doesn't look 27.

Also, welcome to our show. It's a comedy show. She looks 25. We make she looks even younger. She's still in college? No. So, yeah, I just, it's been on my mind a lot, you know. And I think it's such a minority of people that are going to troll you and make comments.

And I don't want to give too much space to that. But I just think, like, always remember, like, those are the people that aren't changing and growing and evolving that have a problem with your growth. Yeah. I mean, I think that you see this, obviously with women in media, you see the comment section that everybody's like, you've changed. But I think that friends say that to each other all the time. It's like, you've got a boyfriend and you change. It's like, yeah, my priority has changed. Yeah.

My life has changed. My life is different. Yeah. I mean, I hope at my core that my morals, my values, what I think is important never changes. Like, I want to be a good person. I hope to always adhere to that. But other than that, I reserve the right to change my mind. Yeah, I changed my mind. I love the meme that someone's like, you've changed and you say, yeah, that's the point. So anyway, just, you know, change, hot take. Just want to talk about it as we make this change in our lives for something that we've really just been doing the same thing for a long time. And so this is a little bit different. Yeah. And by the way, I'm glad you said that that we've been doing this. for a long time because we thank people all the time, but we are so grateful to be able to do this

for six and a half years and do it in a new media network. But thank you guys for being along for the ride. Yeah. Thank you guys so much. And we couldn't obviously do this without our audience. And we truly have like the best audience in podcasting, except for a few of you, but you guys know who you are. And we've had like so much of the same team around us. And that's not necessarily always the norm. Like we've really kept so many of the same people since the beginning. Like on our management side, agent side, and that's just really been so wonderful. We just have a lot of amazing people in corner and we feel really thankful and it's just so funny when like the way you truly change your mind and your taste and you evolve like the stuff we even thought used to look good we're like oh my

god that was like in terms of i don't know our studio or our clips or the clothing i used to wear yes rain like obviously i used to wear a lot of jean overalls shortalls your clothing is fine besides the dallas show in 2019 somebody sent us a photo of that like in an email recently this one show Raina came she went to the mall that day we were in Dallas we were performing at the House of Blues

this is 2019 and she came into my hotel room and she was like I bought these pants to wear tonight and I was like oh my god

they were just like a flowy floral pants they were like a low rise with a body suit with a forever 21 black body suit and I was just like yeah that's so cute like she was gonna wear them you did let me fly

yeah I wore the same outfit for live shows. I wore the same either black jumpsuit or skinny jeans and a black blazer. Base I didn't discover a revolve until halfway through the tour. Raina used to do business casual at our live shows. She looked like she was going in to present to the board. It was like slutty secretary, though. No matter what I wear, I have big boobs and long legs for a short person.

So, yeah. Okay, so I want to follow up on something that happened with you, with an encounter you had in New York. Last week we talked about going back to New York and being there for a week. And you had something that we didn't really talk about. I did gatekeep a little bit. Not on purpose.

I just forgot to mention it. I forgot he's an icon of the podcast. Yeah. Listen, I'm sick. I have my second UTI. The sequel. I probably got it from that guy. Oh, my God.

Yeah, it's just lingering in my body. He looks like he would give you a UTI. That's his vibe. Yeah. So Ashley and I, a year and a half ago, talked about this guy on the podcast, and we posted a TikTok clip and it went super viral. So we talked about this guy's communication style with me and specifically

a text message of him trying to meet up with me on New Year's Eve. And this guy has been, his text message style is so rude. It's just one word. He tries to use as few words as possible to communicate with me. He's just like sup and I'm like nothing. And you know, like, and you met the energy. I met the energy with full force. And I, listen, he's a bit of a scum back and I like it. But anyways, he is what doing guy. And that was the whole clip. You can go to our TikTok and watch it. It's pinned at the top and I met up with him. He does speak full sentences and I had no idea. Plot twist. No clue this guy could speak in full sentences. It was like a decent person picked up the tab at Soho House for me, made sure Louisa got in the car and got home safe. He was like, we're going to wait for your friend

to get into a car. And I was like, we're going to wait for her. And I was like, I didn't know that you were a decent person. That's hot. That's crazy to me. Yeah. Yeah. So we went out and then we went in. Yeah. Like Raina said, watch the TikTok. It's pinned to the top. It's like second most views that we've gotten and it's their text exchange and we did talk about him a little bit at the live show. So there's some of you that are going to be like, oh, that guy. Yeah, and we may circle back when we go back out on tour, but you guys met up and he knows that he's like a infamous girl's got to eat character. He knows he's what doing guy because somebody sent him the TikTok and was like, this sounds like how you text and he was like, that's me. And he is what doing guy. And if you

guys can see it in the show, I probably can't, but there's a what doing hat sitting behind me. And I realized that we sold this merch. And I, like, couldn't let him realize that I had monetized his existence. So I took it off the website. What else are guys good for? You can't? Nothing. You use him to your advantage.

Eating my butt. Yeah. His face, Randon sent me a photo of him because I couldn't pick him out of a crowd. I just don't remember. You never met him. I never met him. Yeah, but, like, back then, did you send me photos? I don't think so.

His Instagram was private and I did not insist that he followed me back then. So I saw photos of him. And I was like, he looked like he just ate your asshole. Like, he looks like he just white. booby off his face. His face has a smirk to it that he's just like, I just had my face in an asshole and I have not washed it. Like he looks like the kind of guy that's good.

Six five. Finance fingers even licks it. Like he looks like this kind of guy. Just that what he said. Just yes. Like he looks like the kind of guy that just fingered you at Soho House and then like comes back out to the table and like sticks his fingers in his mouth. He probably would do that.

He's an animal. Ashley. He's six. two finance blue eyes. He's a monster. Yeah. He's a monster of a person. I love it. I just get to pick my adventure with that guy. There's just, there's some guys that aren't going to degrade you the way that I want to be degraded because like they respect me too much. In like a nice way, I respect people's boundaries. Somebody's like, I don't want to choke a woman. I'd be like, that's fine. We're probably not compatible sexually. But that's fine. But this guy is like anything you want

on the men, you just pick it. Right. Like this guy's face says he just spit on you and then said your Uber's outside. Totally. Like that's the energy. And he was like, Do you want to hit me? So we can't share everything, but we do share a lot more at the live shows. And so come out to those. We haven't even talked about that yet. If you are new around here, you know, we do live shows. We've been touring for six years.

Our shows are second to none. What we do. No one else does it. They're the absolute best. We have so many different elements of entertainment. At the live shows, we tell stories that we don't share in the podcast. What goes on in those rooms in those theaters, we never even know to explain. So it is the ultimate girls night just so wild, so hilarious, so empowering, so horny.

We give gifts away. We have vibrators and t-shirt guns and dancers and drummers and all this craziness. Like for the price, it's a lot. It's a lot that you get. It's a real bargain. It's a real bargain. The energy in that room. So, of course, the No Crumbs Tour that is going to start in the fall. We're kicking it off in Las Vegas. We're ending it in Newark and Boston at the end of the year. And then in between we have all kinds of different tour stops. There's like 15 or something like that. So Girls Gottoeatat.com. And we can not wait to see with the shows. You won't be disappointed. They're epic. And we have so much playing for this year. It's my favorite night of my life every time we do it. Yeah. So we can't wait to

see you guys on tour in the fall. Yeah. And one more thing you want to talk about? Vives only. We do have a company that we founded exactly two years ago. It is our anniversary of that. It is called Vibes Only. It is a luxury sextory brand. We have tons of additional things like lube and oral enhancers and fun things to play with at home. But we're really proud of it. All the toys are Bluetooth enabled. We have an app with beautiful content, erotic audio. Did a sex toy just fall off on my head? The way the cockering just threw itself off the show. That was so crazy. The cockering was like, talk about me. The way that you breeze past it. And Richard was like, excuse me, the one man in the collection was

like, Buzz Buzz, please talk about me. That was crazy. Richard just threw himself. We've never had something fall. I said these shelves up myself. They've never fallen. So we have a cock ring. It is probably our most popular. Named after my ex. So I know we're speaking to.

Named Richard for obvious reasons. I've reigned his ex, but you know, come and get this dick. And it's probably our most popular. And it just really takes your partner experience in the bedroom to the next level. And the male partner wears it and it enhances his boner. And it vibrates on your clit. And it's incredible. And all of our toys are so incredible.

just launched this new XL wand called the Ashley Max. The Raina is one of most popular toys. And just check it out at vibesonly.com. We really just care so much about self-pleasure and exploring your sexuality and intimacy. And so we launched this exactly two years ago. If you guys have been along for the ride, thank you for being here. We have couples toys. We have air pulse vibrators.

We have a rabid vibrator. We have lube and flavored oral enhancers and a massage candle. Yeah. Everything. So we really just want to be there in the bedroom with you. Thank you for the support. And we do a great big sale for our anniversary every year. So that'll be on June 6. You can sign it for the newsletter and be the first to know. But thank you for being along for the ride. And as I mentioned, all the toys are Bluetooth connected to an app. We've remote control. We have a battery estimator, long distance, remote control. Erotic audio. I mean, we're the only ones to do all of it. We are the only. We are the only. We're the only. We're the only. We're the only. And again, like Vives Only.com. And again, like I said, sign up for the newsletters. You can hear about the sale and then also follow Vives Only on Instagram. And, Check it out. Get yourself a cock ring, pair of handcuffs, a big giant vibrator for yourself, and you're just going to have like the best time in the bedroom and orgasms with or without a partner.

Yeah. Okay. We're just going to tell you about a few of our partners. Then we're going to get into it with Heather. I am so excited to talk about Nutraful now and always. Okay. I have been taking Nutriful. I mean, I started taking it for the first time in 2020. I noticed a difference then. But I had something happen that I have spoken about in depth in the podcast where I noticed so much shedding and it was really upsetting. I just noticed such a change in my hair and I really just turned to neutral full and was like I cannot skip a day. Like I've got to really commit to this and I have seen so much change in my hair. I'm seeing the more visible thickness at the scalp. My hair feels and looks completely different. So we cannot recommend enough. I don't know what I would do without it truly.

And of course now that summer's here, that means stuff that can impact your hair, especially from the outside elements like sun, salt, SPF, that can impact your hair health. But of course, Nutraful is going to tackle whatever you have going on from within, whether it's hormonal, or it's just, you know, the sun and the sand. But they are the number one dermatologist's recommended hair growth supplement with over one million people seeing thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding. Again, they target the root causes because everyone's root causes of hair thinning are different. So one size fits all approach just doesn't cut it. They have multiple formulas, whether it's just their regular women's formula, there's postpartum and men. And

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free shipping. When you go to Nutraful.com and enter the promo code GGE. Find out why over 4,500 healthcare professionals and stylists recommend Nutraful for healthier hair. Nutraful.com, spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L dot com promo code G-G-G-E. That's Nutraful.com promo code G-G-E. Yes, and you know, Ashley and I love skims. I'm obsessed with everything they do, all their basics, everything they do in bras. I have, there actually fits everybody bra on right now. My sister-in-law's pregnant. I'm like, you got to get in there. They have like every color and every size you could ever imagine. But Ashley and I were talking about T-shirts the other day and like how much we love just their basic t-shirts. And they have so much to choose from. So they have this soft lounge lace.

They have the fits everybody. Regular length and a crop tea. So many colorways, so many sizes. I'm obsessed with the cotton rib and the cotton jersey. There's a soft, smoothing seamless. So if you on a seamless tea. I've recently gotten into wearing more brown t-shirts because of skims. I love their cocoa color. It's so beautiful. And then they just have like their very basic fits to everybody. I mean, you could build out a capsule wardrobe using only skims and their t-shirts and just look chic and stylish and have a ton of stuff to choose from. The fabrics are super soft. They have everything from extra, extra small, up to 4x. And I don't even know how they offer so many colors. It's crazy. But they have so much for you. You guys can shop the skims t-shirt shop at skims.com. Again,

available in sizes extra extra small to 4x. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop-down menu that follows. Check it out. Okay. Let's get into it with our couple guests. Okay, guys, we are very excited to welcome our guest this morning to the podcast.

Again, she is a writer, actress, comedian. I guess you're kind of a journalist now, too. Not a journalist. That's so funny. You've seen her on the red carpet, the Emmys, the Oscars, and the Grammys. She just wrapped her comeback tour. Her podcast, absolutely not. It's unbelievably funny.

You've seen her Netflix special, Son I Never Had. Please welcome back to the show. Oh my God, the hardest working woman in showbiz. Heather McMahon. Wait, I love this. Okay, side note, I will take the journalist's credit. Because when you are studying for, like, the Emmys or the Oscar, like, that red carpet shit, the amount of paperwork.

Like, the amount, I had. binders full because I had to know what everyone's working on. Yeah. Their upcoming projects, what they were nominated for, I had never studied that hard in my life. And also, I did a lot of drugs in college. So I'm like, the brain cells, like, the brain fog is like permanent. You know what I mean?

So I learned that last night. A girlfriend of ours, Hannah is a writer for us weekly, and she's on the red carpet. And she said, fellow journalist. Yeah, fellow journalist. You might know each other. But she said they give you binders.

And she's like half the people don't even show up. And I have to have like 30 seconds. It's like devil wears Prada. Yes. No, literally it is. They hand you cards. so like you have note cards and so you study them and like so you have all the little bits the talking points but then basically what happens is people walk down the carpet their publicists are like fighting to get them on there are also maybe like other actors or musicians or whatever lined up that then we can't get approval for so then they're just standing there and I'm like I know a lot of facts about you but I'm not allowed to interview you it is the most weird social experiment it's just fucking bizarre it is truly seems like such a hard job like it is like when that's why people bomb. Like, they're not ready. They're not born to do it like you are. Like, what's the first

when you did the Emmys? I did the Emmys first. Yeah. It was the best I've ever seen. We were just like, Heather was born to do this. Yeah. You're so sweet. And then I chatted with Taylor Frost a little bit. And she was like, I'm messaging with Heather. She said this was like the hardest gig ever. And I'm like, I believe it. But not everybody could handle it. I couldn't. Like, also, it's so cringe so much. Like, people are just taking themselves too seriously. You're like a breath of fresh air. Well, I really appreciate it. I was panicked. And you're on live for three hours. Like, there is no peeing. There is no, like, stopping to powder your nose. It's nothing. Like, in between commercial breaks, I had, like, these tiny, mini stickers. Like, I probably had 25 of those

just keep the blood sugar up. Like, I was tweaking on peanuts and caramel by the end because I didn't know what the fuck to do. And it was so wild. I originally was reluctant to say yes to it because I said, well, I want to make sure that like these people also see me as their peer. But then I'm like, I got into this business because of Joan Rivers. She's the reason I got into comedy. And I was like, if I don't do this bitch justice, then I will forever kick myself. I love that. Because I was like totally being interviewed. These fucking weirdos? I know.

You probably can't talk shit on them. But like some of these weird ass actors, I'm like, how is she getting sound bites out of them? I could never. The actors aren't even that weird because actors know how to like go and do press or PR for whatever, like, you know, whatever they're promoting. It's musicians. Dude, how many people on the red carpet were so high out of their mind and I'm trying to talk to them. And a lot of this stuff didn't air. So you only see so many interviews.

But I mean, I have some people, which I won't name. But you're just like, So how did you feel about like getting nominated for 12 Grammys for this album? They're like, yeah, what's good? Uh-huh. All right. And you're like, that's it? You got nothing.

And one point, okay, so Doja Cat was walking down the red carpet, okay? I thought her outfit, I thought that a publicist was doing her dirty dog wrong. She had a see-through dress, but I couldn't really tell from where I was standing. And her a a ariol is, her nips were just sitting at the very top of like a corset. So I thought she was running down the red carpet and didn't know that her tities were out. So I started yelling, Doja-Kat. You boobs are loose. Doja cat.

And she looked at me for a second and smiled. And then I saw the red carpet photos. Her full bushes out. Her nipples are out. It was a part of the look. And I'm like an old Jewish grandmother being like, Thoja, fix your titties. Wait, I love this.

She's like, my pussy's out. She's like, I'm a fucking pop star. Leave me alone, you old granny bitch. Like, you're ruining the bit. Eat your snickers. Shut up. Well, it's funny because I posted a picture of all our girlfriends from Las Vegas last weekend. And one of my friends, like, her dress showed her.

nipple. She knew it. She wore it, you know, and everybody in my comments was like, a nipple. Yeah. And I was just like, I think she knew. She knew it was see-through. People were DMing me. They were like, Ashley, your friend's nipple is out.

And I'm like, you guys. The shirt is a see-through piece of mesh with a black little snake curved down it. Your nipples are supposed to be out. Yeah, we're trying to show the nymph. Yes. Yeah. I get a lot of times, we're like, Heather, I think your nips out. I'm like, that's a patch of eczema, okay?

That is a scaly, dry patch of eczema. that is, you know, slowly creeping up my neck like poison eye. That's so funny. Doja Cat yells back. She's like, it's my psoriasis. You're like, actually, I'm fired. Can you imagine? Those are my breast reduction scars.

Yeah. Leave me a lot. It's my C-section scar. Oh, my God. Well, Heather, we want to tell you something really quickly. Oh, my God. Tell me. This is an exclusive.

It's exclusive. So we are having this episode where as we record it, it will be released on June 3rd because it is our debut episode with Dear Media. Oh, my God. Wait, you guys are in Dear Media. Yeah. Dear media. Great move.

Thank God. We were so excited to tell you and have you on the show because you're with your media also. And just this is our first episode. I have goosebumps that I also thought that y'all were both about to tell me like we're actually lovers. We're pregnant. Yeah, we're pregnant. Like both pregnant or you're actually fucking. I didn't know what you were about to tell me.

What came out to Heather? Not my parents. We're like, we need to have Heather from a show to come out as a couple. I mean, here's a thing. You guys, it would make a lot of sense. I mean, you have a sex toy line. You go to Delaware. a lot.

Like, it would kind of make sense if y'all were lesbians, okay? Not Delaware. It is very gay friendly. I know. You know, I think the last time I came on and I threw some jokes about Delaware and some of the Delaware girlies

was so mad at me. Yeah. I don't know if I can be friends with Heather actually. No, don't get me wrong. I love Delaware. But when I was at Dewey Beach, I was so fucked up that I have like PTSD from Dewey Beach.

It's the Star Crush. Yeah. The crush. Yeah, I just never recovered from Delea. My first night in Deweee, I called the police on myself. The next morning. I swear to God. I had all these his phone calls. So I listened to the voicemail. I hear this guy

is like, hey, yo, what's up? You called 911 last night? They called back. They called back. He was like, hey, this is Kevin. Also, you're like, Kevin, are you fucking single? You sound sexy as hell. It's like, if you can't get a call back, just call 911. Yeah, Dewe will take you out. You got to be careful. We're so excited to be part of your media. It's been a great. A journey working this out. And we're happy to be with them. Yeah. We're celebrating with our agent today right after this. Oh, my God. That was so exciting. Yeah. Listen, it's going to be. fun. And I just tell you right now, just go in there and hopefully Josh will be one of your producers to shout out to my boy Josh. But just go in there and just let him know what's good. You know what I mean? And steal all the shit. Heather said. Steal everything. They have a lot of good stuff there. They have a lot of good. They've got expensive. They have the spring mountain valley

water like the real expensive one in the glass. Oh, I go in there. I take like everything. I'm thinking like the other stuff they have like merch. But okay, water. Well, they don't send me a lot of the merch, dear media. I'd like more of the merch. I don't get the exclusive ice rollers. I bought the lip tape. Lauren, we would like more free merch, okay? I bought the lip tape and the roller. No, and I saw it. It came.

It took a little bit to arrive because it's all sold out. And I got an email. It was like, the skinny confidential. And I was like, oh, they're sending us some stuff for being, do you mean? I'm like, oh, no, I bought that. Yeah. That's just my receipt. Or I'll just like literally shame them so much that Lauren's like, this is looking bad for

press. Like, send Heather a fucking body scraper or whatever. That's so funny. We didn't even get a discount. No, no. We didn't ask. Lauren's defense. And Lauren's events we don't ask, but we would like free shit.

We'd like her to just anticipate our needs. Can you put me on the subscription for the tape? I wanted to be delivered, like a personal, like, you know. Yeah, white gloves. Yeah, white gloves. I'd like somebody in like a pink suit to drop it off. White gloves. Tate my mouth shut.

Tate my mouth shut. Roll my body for me. Can you come Japanese dry brush for me? That's how the level of, I just think, hospitality we should be receiving. What a great debut episode. I love that. For the company. We'd have it any other way.

We're thrilled to be there. It's like, my dad was going through the lesson. He was like, there's a lot of beautiful. women on this website. Hell yeah. The most beautiful women. Yeah, that's funny. That's the first thing you noticed, but you know, game, recognized game. Okay, so beautiful women. So, Heather, you posted on Instagram. Obviously, that's why I'm here. Yeah, that's why you're here. Yeah, that's why you're here. The name of this title just has to be beautiful women and then it's just a photo of me. Not y'all, just me. It's Jeff, actually. Yeah. Guys, surprise, Jeff's here. He's going to come in. He's going to come in hot.

We just love this thing you posted. As we're recorded with you, you just wrapped up a crazy week with the Netflix festival. I don't know how you're still alive. You're obviously going to go home and like crash so hard, we appreciate you being here. But you posted on Instagram, like, I got to get back to Georgia. Like, I feel like the way LA makes you feel. I feel like a troll. I didn't realize, you know, one eyelid was a little wonkier than the other. I didn't realize that I needed under-eye fill.

But the people in the DMs are letting me know. No, I've been performing. I had my own show on Sunday. And then I've been running around and doing all these other shows. So some nights you're doing like three or four shows. And the photographers have been so incredible. But it's just when you're in L.A., you're already comparing yourself to other people.

And then when you see yourself in these high-deaf cameras, I'm like, oh my God, my face is lopsided. Like, I need to get my neck done. Like, I'm just panicking. And then I've been going on all these other male comedian podcasts, and their fans are so brutal. And listen, can handle it. Can handle it.

I'm a comedian. But it is wild when the first thing out of their mouth is about what you look like. And so I made the mistake. I was sitting in the car, going across town yesterday, and I was looking at all these comments of what these guys say from me being on these podcasts. And it's not about if I'm funny, if I could keep up. It's just, you know,

You look like a refrigerator. And I am. I'm built like Natag. You know what I mean? Whatever. Okay. I prefer the looks. I'm like,

that's all you got. Like, it cuts so much deeper if you're like, she's not funny. She can't keep up. It's like, I don't know. I have this man that thinks

on the sexiest woman of the world. What do I fucking need you for, Chad, in your parents' basement? It's like, grow up. Get a life. And it makes me not want to participate in those shows. Those hosts are our friends.

They're people we've known for years. I don't want to go on those shows. I don't want to be talked about like that. And I read one comment and it like takes me out. And I'm like, why am I letting this fucking loser who lives with their mom talk about me? What the fuck do you look like? Heather lives with their mom, though. Yeah, I live with my mom.

And I'll tell you right now, you want to talk about a keyboard warrior. Yes, I actually am. I deserve everything that these people are saying about me online. I deserve because I'm a loser. I'm so sorry. The way that is so bad. The way that I was going to let you run with that. I was like, let's see how fucking deep she goes.

No. Fucking losers in the South that live with their mom. I only live with my mother because my dad's dead, Raina. Okay? Fuck you. Wow. Wow. Dear media, buckle up.

You sometimes say you're built like your dad. I wish you would clap back sometimes and be like, sorry. I'm built like my dead dad. You know, just like really make them. Oh, I did. I let them know. And then I get a lot of times too. It's because I brought shoulders and like a raspyer voice, it's immediately that I'm a man.

So I think I might run with that narrative, right? Like she did get good work done. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like I transitioned. I was a man. and just start fucking with these people. Right.

And like really blow their minds. Really blow their mind. It is funny to close a loop on like the way L.A. and like seeing yourself in these cameras like you're like, I need this thing. Like I got temple filler. What? What is just. Oh wait.

No, that's what I need. Hold on. Ashley, that's what I need because, okay, when I smile, I'll look directly in a camera. Do you see how it looks like I have these weird indentions? It's because and I had them as a kid, but you don't notice it until you're on HD. It's because they pulled me out with like baking. in tongs. So I didn't need to wear the helmet. Yeah, the four sets. So I already kind of have like a misshapen head. But now on camera, it literally looks like I'm like cross-eyed.

No, it doesn't though. It does. It does. So I'm going to get the temple filler next week. But it's just like, I never even knew that was a fucking thing. And we have the most amazing guy, Dr. Barrett, and he like crushes it. But he was right. I mean, you look fresh. She looks great all the time. You never know how ugly you are until you move to L.A. I've never felt so in New York I was just crushing it. I was like, everybody just wants to talk to you about what you're doing for work. And like if you're at the top of your game hustling, you're the hottest bitch in that room. In L.A., you could be us and walk into the room. They're like, turd next. Yeah. Because everything in New York, you can hide under a giant puffer coat or like a Canada goose,

you know? So you can literally have like lopsided titties. You can have one leg. But if you show up with like a semi-beat face, they're like, oh yeah, she's a fucking star. But also in New York, if you just have a little bit of a tan, you're like a 12. So the only thing I've done in my face, I get the Botox here. During the pandemic, I got a little bit of under-eye fill, and I didn't love it. I haven't gone back because I already have really small eyes

and I've like really prominent cheekbones. So I'm not a filler girl because I already have a thick face. But I definitely, I think I'm going to get it up here, that temple filler. Now I'm looking at it like you look fresh as fun. Your face does not look lopsided and that's what I need. One time I got filler in my jawline and my cheeks was too much. I already have like a round face.

I have round like voluptuous features. I didn't need more volume in the face. But I get it in my cheeks. now the jaw line was crazy. I think Amy Schumer got filler and then she got it dissolved and she says, turns out I was full. I didn't need, I mean, that's funny. Amy Schumer arguably has one of the most full faces. Right.

I don't know who talked me into this. It is funny if she got filler. I could have a granola bar and I will swell. Like, that's how much I retain salt and just like preservatives. So I don't need it either. I don't need fill. But I really, I'll be honest with you, I want to get the neck up because that's my thing. I just, I don't want to touch my face, but I just would like the little neck.

Because I always, you know, my joke's always been thick neck. than ankles. Well, my guy in Atlanta was like, Heather, it's actually now turning into loose skin. I'm like, what the fuck? I'm 37. But I see all these girlies who just get the little neck to... Yeah, and that's what I want. So I got lipo in my neck and my jaw. It's swollen for a long time. I still just like lump here. Okay. I have no jaw line. Like my face just goes straight into my neck. Right. No definition. Yeah. But yeah, it's still pretty like swollen. But I love my guy. He did a great job. How do you feel? I couldn't drop a car for probably two weeks. You just keep a lot of like mobility in your neck. But now I feel fine. I just feel fine. I just. I

It feels swollen. I use Lauren's neck roll. I use a roller on my neck every day. Okay. So you shot a Netflix special. I loved it so much. Yes. But you have another one.

Yes. So I self-produced both. So the first one went to Netflix. And now basically how the world works, Netflix will get to look at it first. Then I can take it to another market. I mean, I hope Netflix, please pick this one up. Yeah.

So I shot the second one back in November at the Fox in Atlanta. Right. So we're done editing that. So after this festival, we'll send that out. And hopefully they'll be like, oh, we want to pick that up too. So you were shooting your second special as the, The first one came out.

I was always like a year ahead. Got it. That's the thing. And also like the first special, now that I look at the material, I'm like, it's such old material, but it was like a introduction to me to the world. So I wanted it to be about like where I came from, who I was as a kid. So people understand like who is this chick because a lot of people didn't know me. And then this next one is just completely dialed in about like now I make money.

Everybody go fuck themselves. It's called breadwinner. It's all about how I make more money than Jeff and how he's on sabbatical. We love to bring you in. Yeah, Jeff, come on in. Jeff, let's talk about how Heather is rich. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about how successful your wife is. Yeah.

Hi, Jeff. He did not dress for the occasion. We're flying home today. She may be more successful, but I, you know. Have a bigger dick. Got a good neck. Yeah, yeah, good neck. Yeah, I like your hat a lot.

It says Atlanta. It's a great hat. Did you get him that hat? Yeah. It's a great hat. That's our country club, which I am the lead member at. I call myself a second class citizen. Yeah.

Yeah, because God forbid. God forbid. Okay, so Heather is the main person at the country club in Europe. allowed to come as the wife, husband. But here's a deal. It's because I was a legacy member. So it's the membership's technically under my name, right? This is a, this a country club that we've been members of since

you know, my grandparents showed up on the soil of Georgia. So technically, if we ever get divorced, I get to keep that membership. But this guy, also joined another club in South Carolina. I had to be the primary somewhere. You could have a city? Just in case this goes south. I need to

have a backup plan. Not the South Carolina backup. What city is it in in South Carolina? So we're near Aiken. Okay. Aiken, South Carolina. You know what to Clemson. So a lot of girls from Aiken.

You know. A lot of Tradale's. Well, the Tradale's sonny from Aiken or crazy. Yeah, yeah. Hell yeah. So yeah, you're just living the life. So we love. We love Jeff.

Yeah. Thank you. Jeff, I think, is our bigger fan. Well, Jeff, you texted us and said, I've got to tell you, Jeff found out that you own a sex to a company and bought the whole line. Let me tell you. Listen, it's good stuff. Yeah.

This is why Jeff wins husband at the year, okay? He knows I was been on the road for two weeks. I was stressed. He shows up the first night in LA and he's like, hey, do you know girls got to eat? They've got sex toys. I was like, yeah, vibes only. I know. I know.

He's like, well, you didn't know. He starts pulling out tricks, all the products. He's like, I bought everything. I'm like, we brought some stuff to L.A. over there. The suitcase. The green thing. The concrete is that to you?

12 out of 10. It's great. Jeff, you have the cockroach. We were going to give you one. She is tied to admit that women love vibrators and, you know, just incorporated in what you do. You packed it in the same. suitcase. I'm dying. She loved it. I was just my favorite couple. Your honeymoon?

I mean, I was in Europe watching your honeymoon. Like, I can't go out now. I can't go to the Coliseum because I got to watch Heather and Jeff's honeymoon. We're going back this summer. That's what we're going to do on our flight home is plan our next Italy trade. I know you don't want to do like a reality show, but I would watch Heather and Jeff in Italy. Like just Jeff's golf clubs. I would watch that show. The fact that we're still married after bringing

those golf clubs is true testament to our love. What did you call it? You were so fun. I said the finale of Heather and Judge because the final photo was the golf clubs in front of this was fucking small rental car and it was something about them fitting and I was like the grand finale is lit. So people don't know two years ago you guys got married in Italy and then you did this like what month long honeymoon and you just like live streamed the whole thing. We really did. My whole new hour is about this honeymoon and how we survived it. Jeff with the golf clubs. Don't worry. I break down

all the nuanced moments. But it was one of those moments where I was like if I can survive 30 days. I've been with Jeff 13 years. If I can survive 30 days in a tiny fiat with him in these fucking golf clubs and I don't murder him like I know we're in it to win it and by the way that was the summer of flight cancellations left and right they're like try to keep your luggage we dare to keep your marriage yeah oh when we got to Italy they had like three different strikes going on they had the air traffic control the taxis were on strike we had a cigar roller that was supposed to be at our wedding he's in a fucking union apparently he cancels three days before our wedding they're like yeah and he's like from sienna and like my family's from sienna and from sicily so I'm like I think I have an

inn I can call a cousin they'll figure it out and they're like no they're like Francesco won't show up I'm like, what do you mean? Like, his union. I'm like, there's a cigar rolling union in Italy? What is happening? We love Italy, but nobody wants to work in Italy. Yeah. I love that vibe, though.

Let's be real. Let's be real. Yeah. We always said if, like, Italy had German efficiency. It would be the most... The best country in the world. It'd be unstoppable. It'd be unstoppable.

Yeah. I love it there. So, yeah, your honeymoon was amazing. And now you guys, you're done. You're going to take the summer off? I'm going to take the summer off. Yeah. Okay.

We'll set you up with the peach blow gel. Oh, please do. We have a peach for Georgia peaches. so you guys are going to have a great summer. No, I'm going to ask a question. How did you do, like, the market research for everything? Were you, I mean... I put that blow gel on dicks and I sucked it off the dick.

Yeah, good for you, girl. It tastes good on this dick. The watermelon did not taste as good on the... So we went with mango smoothie first. Oh, nice. And I was like, this dick pairs perfectly with a mango smoothie. Lots of market research. Pepper patty is my personal favorite.

I'm a holiday... Yeah, you're a holiday. You're a white chocolate-moca kind of gal. And then the actual, the caps are like pumps, and they used to be at, like, screw top, but I kicked it over with my foot while I was sucking a dick, and I got all over the hotel room floors. We were like, gotta put a pump on top of it.

Keep it smart. So Raina did a lot early on. She was just sucking more dick than me. But we all sit around and taste the flavors like as a team. Yeah. You know, because it's important. You know, we don't want like a funky aftertaste or too sweet and not sweet enough. And everybody in the company has different tastes in vibrators and the blowjob.

Yeah, it's subjective. People are like, that one's not for me. It's like, well, the next one will be. Yeah. So I was so impressed and it literally tickled me, no pun intended. But it really made me laugh so hard when Jeff pulled this out. And he was like, he listens. to y'all religiously and he's like literally

this shit's fantastic. I bought one of everything and he just pull I'd be pulling this shit out of the suitcase the other night listen. That thing we would both say it's a fucking 12 out of 10. The cockpit sold out in a day. We cannot keep it in stop. Because it's fun for everyone. You know. You guys, I'm sure

people are listening to being like they've been together 13 years and they're busting out treasure chest of sex toys. Like are you just like a spicy couple? Here's the thing. I find it interesting when you've been married people love to think that like we don't to have sex with each other. I make jokes about like,

oh, I got to do the sex. I still really love you and I love having sex with you. I'm still into her. Yeah, we're still very much so into each other. And I think there's this thing when you've been in a relationship

a long time, they're like, oh, it's so boring. I'm like, no, we have a fucking great time. We have the best sex in Italy because we don't have two French bulldogs trying to eat her ass. And your mom's not there. Yeah.

Robin's always like, you don't want anything to eat and it's like, leave us the fuck alone. Yeah, that's the thing. We do live with my mother and sometimes like you can hear like she'll take a broom and she's like you guys sound heavy up there it's always we sound heavy yeah yeah we sound heavy yeah he's like heather remember you're a may tag okay take it easy so i don't look up to

a lot of couples i'm like i don't want all that but you guys are really my truly favorite that i like look up to and you're so sweet i love your dynamic and i want to talk about this a little bit yeah like Heather you're a star okay thank you i thought it it only took you 25 minutes to say it but you were here for the grandmas emmys and the The Oscars thing, yeah. Jeff, you're a star in our eyes. Yeah, Jeff, you're a real snack. We love it.

But, like, and Jeff, you are a normal dude, you know? And Heather's just doing all these things all the time. And you're just, you guys are such a happy, healthy couple. And I feel like Jeff's like, we're along for the ride, doesn't want to be a part of that. No, I just, I love seeing her thrive, you know, as we all know that this is basically, you know, a lot of ticket to get into this business and be successful. And I told her all those years ago, I go, you have the talent. It just a matter if somebody's going to recognize it or not. Thankfully, they fucking did.

It was really sweet. because my dad used to call Jeff all the time. Like, all right, here's the thing. I got a buddy named Bruce who's in real estate, who I think will take other out for drinks and convince her to, like, not do comedy. My dad would always call Jeff, and it's not that he didn't believe in my career.

We had weekly strategy sessions. Kyle's like, so is she going to be a mortgage banker this week or next week? Yeah, because my dad just didn't have any in this business, and so he was just so terrified. Parents, parent out of fear. They don't get it. Yeah. They don't get it.

And Jeff was always like, okay, Kyle, and he would like literally kind of keep my dad at bay trying to convince me to, like, you know, be a mortgage broker, or do something other than comedy. And you always, you always believe to me. But it takes a very secure, strong man to, A, not be threatened by what I... That's my point.

That's what I want to talk about. Yeah. To not be threatened and to also allow me to get up there and make jokes about our family, make jokes about, you know, him. He's a very secure guy. That's what it's so inspiring to me. Because, I mean, I'm in a newer relationship. Yeah.

You know, like, it's not going to be for everybody that I'm going to, like, talk about your dick or, you know, that you have to meet me out on tour and you not feel threatened. But it's also like, it's not Jeff's goal. to do what you do. He's in a different world. He does call himself the content monster, though. Oh, you know what? Her special may be titled Breadwinner,

but it might as well be The Muse. It's 70% about me and making fun of me. But here's the thing. You got to join the other golf club, of course. And I told him the first time he saw this new hour, we were in Augusta, and I walked off stage and he was in the wings. I was like, he's either going to love this

or he's going to hand me papers. He was like, you could have gone harder. I'm like, I could have. He's like, yeah, I got to play golf. And I was like, all right, he doesn't care because he's secure. Are you not hanging out in those shorts? No, no, he's...

Okay, you want to make sure. I think that a lot of guys also think in the beginning it seems fun. Like, look at her, go, she's so... But then they're like, oh, this makes me feel bad. I'm not to star. It took a little bit of an adjustment when she really blew up because the amount of people that don't get that it's satire, and we were with Jackie Schimel the other night

and her husband, Andrew, and Jackie does a lot similar where she, like, kind of makes fun of Andrew at Andrew's, you know, benefit or detriment, whatever you want to say. And the amount of people that don't understand that it's satire is kind of hard to get. Yeah. But then you're like, you know, when people do get it,

they realize that it's just a joke. You're like, oh, okay, people understand that I'm not some like schmuck and, you know. Yes, but also, male comedians have been getting up, talking about their kids, throwing their wives under the bus, bitching about every fucking person that's related to him. And now all of a sudden, as a woman, I get up.

And I'm like, let me tell you what my husband did. It piss me off. And then they're like, she's emasculating him. Shut the fuck up. Right. It's so interesting that you said that because I saw Tom's a girl last night. Yeah. for him. He's my favorite that has ever done it. I love him so much. And we love his wife and she's a

star in her own. But the way he talks about her is not how I know her to be. He's just like, as though she's just this like, oh, are you going to come home tonight? But she's talking about him too. If you watch it and you didn't know who that was, like I want a friend who's not familiar with them, you'd be like, who's his wife he's talking about? So to your point, it's just jokes. It's just saddire. We all sit around and bitch about like, oh my God, such a, you know, we all listen to our girlfriends, bitch about their boyfriends and their husbands. But it's But just chill the fuck out. You know what I have a lot of recent material about my boyfriend.

And I showed him the set. I watched it with him like a recent set. And he's just like, yeah, I love it. It's great. It's hilarious. Just keep doing you, you know? Also, I think it takes a specific guy like Jeff loves watching me on stage and thrive, no matter if I'm making the ugliest faces, being self-depregating.

It's hot to him. Because you're so happy. You're just, you're fulfilled. Yeah. At that moment you are fulfilled. Yeah. And then I let you fulfill me later. The thing that is, the thing that is.

I told her years ago was when she had originally moved to LA, what, like eight years ago. Yeah. I had an emotional breakdown and literally cried at dinner one night. And I booed at Bucca. Fucking sobbing that she was leaving. But I told her, I said, you know, I don't want to be down the road 15 years from now. And we're sitting on a couch and you resent me because I told you that like you couldn't go. Yeah.

And I had the, not the foresight, but that I knew that that could be a reality one day where like I don't want somebody to resent me for holding them back because I wouldn't want to be held back in my pursuits either. And that was what it was about was like, go do you, go be you, go have fun, find joy in whatever the hell you can do. Whether you can be a mortgage broker or a comedian. Whether Bruce convinces you or not. Yeah. And we never broke up. Like we were long distance for like eight years. I was out here and we just made it work.

We didn't have a dime. Jep. Delta owes me a fucking airplane. Yeah. The money that I've given them. I mean, it was wild. He was commuting back and forth from New York to L.A. I mean, we had two pennies to rub together and we just made it work.

But on the third date, I knew I was going to marry him. Totally. Well, actually, he walked in. into a bar the first night we met and I said to our mutual friend Christine I go, that's him to marry. So he walked into a bar, we were at a gay bar. A gay bar? It's somewhere in Hell's Kitchen. And he walked in and I just go, that's whom I'm to marry.

And our friend Christina was like, Jeff? And I said, yeah. Also, if you see a photo from this, I look like I just got out of the, like, Memorial Sloan Kettering? Like, it's the middle of winter. I'm fucking ghostly pale. Almost jaundice. He was unwell. I looked like I was fucking sick. What was it about him? Why? I don't know. I think he was just the first man I had seen in New York who was over

like 6-2 and had a beer. And I was like, I'm gonna fuck him. Jeff, you know, so it's interesting because I think you meet people in Hollywood and they're smaller in person. Like, Jeff is taller than I thought. So many people say that to me. I was like, okay, daddy.

So many people say that to me and I look at them and I go like, am I projecting on social media? It's like if I'm like five three. It's not that. You just don't, just guys aren't tall. Guys aren't tall. Yeah.

And that's the number one thing people say. They were literally like, I did not expect Jeff to be that tall and handsome in person. And then I always get, you're a lot prettier in person than you are on kids. I'm like, I will take that.

That's better though. Yeah. Well, not that's going to say it, but it would be worse to look better in your edited photos. Just don't say anything to me about it. People are always like, you're so much littler than I expect. You don't want to tell me I'm a midget. Yeah, I'm good. Oh, no, I love your pretty in person.

I'll take that compliment. I will take that compliment. I know I am also. I look at photos to me. I'm like, that's not me. Who is that? I don't know what that person is. Well, her face did that.

That's crazy. The self confidence in this little square right here is just off the charts. Well, I was editing the second special, and I was just like, I don't understand how, I mean, the camera literally puts on 40 pounds. I mean, I'm a size 14, but literally on camera, people, I'm just like, who is that? It's like a beast and a glitter denim jacket running around the stage and just me like, let me tell you about sucking dick. And I'm just like, oh my God. And just watching like, oh. Yeah.

Just jerking off in the way. Yeah. Yeah. So we talked a little bit about when you came on the very first time, like, 2018, about your long distance and stuff like that. But when you guys were doing all that, I mean, it's been such a long road. Like, was the secret just, like, we knew we were going to be together and we were committed and, like, that was that? Yeah, I think so. I think it's that we knew it was going to work because every time that I would leave her, I would get, like, such a pang of, like, of, it's, when you're long distance, you kind of count down the hours to, like the last day.

Like, you know, I'm leaving tomorrow. Like, oh, we got 12 hours. I got 10 hours. And that's what I knew. I was like, oh, like, you know, that's how I really knew that I had funds for you was I didn't want to leave. And it was, like, doom that I had to leave. I'll tell you this. I know I'm going to get trolled for saying this.

He really is my buddy. Like, we have fun together. And I think that as much as I can like rag him on stage or whatever, like, he's my best friend. Totally. We is so much fucking fun together. And I do think there is this narrative where, like, people are married and it's like, oh, you've got to be miserable in your marriage all the time. And I'm like, I love Jeff.

We have so much fucking fun together. That's why you're my favorite couple. You can tell. Like, yeah, we joke on, that's my best friend. Like, your partner's your best friend. Oh, that's why you get ragged on. You say best friend. Or I'm just like, you know, they're like, oh, is your spouse really your best friend?

I'm like, yeah, I'd rather hang out with him than anybody else. There's nobody else that I want to hang out with more than her. Yes, you guys are real buds. Yeah. You couldn't do the month in Italy with someone that was just like, I don't know. Like, you guys clearly love hanging out. And I also say, too, you know it's a good relationship when it's passionate. I will fucking murder him.

I will beat him to a bloody pulp before I would get divorced, you know? We always said, this is a Italian family and that we will not get divorced. There will be a murder. Yeah. And like, when we've planned it out, we know how we're going to get away with it. She thinks she's going to end up a jail set with, like, Tammy and she's going to be braiding her hair. She's going to constantly talk about me. Yeah.

But I'm pretty confident I could get away with it. I would never let Jeff, like, leave me and then go live, like, with another woman and make her miserable. I would literally, I would take them out. Yeah, I'd murder them both. Yeah, and I would murder them both. Yeah. And I would haunt you. Yeah. If something happened, I would come back, my ghost would haunt you.

A hundred percent. I just love you guys have fun together. I mean, that's all I really need. I have everything that I need in the world. all I need is just like a buddy and it will also fuck me. But like if we're not having fun that's exactly it

that's all you're looking for. Yeah. A court gesture that fucks me. Yeah. I just want somebody to make me laugh. What are we doing otherwise? What are doing here? That's the thing is you're not going to be fucking,

you know, 18 hours out of the day. So you need you enjoy spending time with some. I got sciatica. You know, I can only, I only really have like a three hour window and then I got to go to PT or a carprager.

Right. He does get upset with me sometimes. Because I'll just, I'll be on top and just start cackling. I'm just looking at her. I'm like, are we working out a new bid here or are we trying to have sex? Are you writing jokes right now at there? Are you writing jokes?

Are you writing jokes? It's so funny. You're like, staring to your eyes. Yeah. You're just like, right in bits. Yeah. We see so many couples that like, we'll just pick at each other in public and they look real contempt for each other. Yeah.

Listen, it's easier to step that on. You can't walk away from somebody you married and got you children with. But like, I can't believe many people just don't like each other. So Emily, her social media girl who's much younger than us the other night, she was talking about Ix, which I didn't know what the fucking ick was. but my ick was literally people who like tear down their spouse in public. It's like you couldn't wait until you got home to have this conversation. And no one enjoys being around this, by the way.

As a spectator, I don't like it. I'm not on either of y'all's side. This is gross. The person that started it, I hate listening to this. And why should I know that you two are having a problem with each other? Keep it in the box. But it's also like, God, if that's happened in public, what is going on at home? We'll get in the car.

I'll be like, when we're smiling and we're smiling? And then that door sets it. I'm like, you're being a fucking asshole. But like we know, bury it deep. Enjoy the seafood tower. Have two more martinis and then we'll discuss. When I hear the line like, that's not what you said in therapy. I'm like, oh, get the popcorn now!

And then they're both smiling like, well, you said that in therapy. And I'm like, smile. This is crazy to watch. The smile in the middle of the fight is hysterical. Yeah. I saw this really great thing. And I can't remember who I need to give credit to it. But it was like a relationships and percentages.

So who was it? Was it like Brunee Brown or somebody was saying, TikTok probably. Yeah, it was really TikTok. And it was saying, like, you have to come into a relationship and percentages. And it's like, okay, if I have 80% to give today, you only have to meet me at 20. And like, you meet each other at the percentage. So the other night, I was schmoozeen. I was having to do the Netflix thing, like running around, shaking hands. And I was like, Jeff, just get me to the end of the day. Like, I just need you to give me some energy to get to the end of the day. And that's kind of like how I'm like, I can only give you 30% today. I'm dying. And I'm not great with math. I got you. I can pick up where you can't hang. I feel like that's why our business partnership works. We're talking about yesterday. And like Rayne and I at least, we have a different type of partnership. But I find this in my relationship too. Like if one person's down, you kind of got to be up.

Like you don't have to kind of balance each other out. Like we both can't just, when we're both up, that's great. I'm the dreamer. I'm the one who's like, anything's possible. We're going to make it happen. And then Jeff keeps your ground and he's like, okay, bitch, we're paying for that. Yeah. We're like, we got to pay our taxes first.

I love the dream, but I'm more of a reality. Like, this is, you know, we got to check all these boxes before we just go off to fantasy. land. Yeah. You anchor everybody down. Yeah, he does. He anchors, and sometimes he weighs me down. So I was like, leave the fucking golf club, Jeff. God damn it, we don't have room. Okay, well, Jeff, how often are you golfing? Be honest.

We live right next to our club, so it's a little different for me. I'm there at least once a day. Okay. But I'm not playing 18 holes. That's how it is. That's how it is. The gym's there, the club's there. Yeah. Because I go to the gym. The gym's there. The gym's there. The only thing that makes me better, and Jeff knows, so we track each other

on the phone is like when he doesn't answer his phone and I can see what hole he's on. Now, listen, I'm about to be on summer break, okay? So I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go play golf. I would love time for hobbies. I have been working my literal dick off and I have not had a chance to do anything for myself. So I get a little crazy. Like when I'm on the road and I see he's like, you know, playing golf, I'm like, that must be fun. That must be so fun. I'm sitting in the Cincinnati airport, ready to put a gun in my mouth because the Chili's to go isn't open. That's a rough airport. That's a rough airport. Yeah. So some days I really have to just like, okay, he's having fun. You know,

but we also had a conversation, and again, with, like, the percentage stuff. Jeff was, like, doing too many leisure sports, and he has been very successful in his business. He runs all of our finance stuff. We have, like, you know, real estate shit and everything. But he was, just, from the outward, he was having a little too much fun.

And I finally had a nervous breakdown in our parking lot, in our country club, and I was like, lie to me. Just put on a button down and pretend you got to go to the bank to see about something. I was like, I don't give a fuck what you do, but I can't, today on this Wednesday, I can't think that you're going just to date. around at the course because I don't have the luxury doing that.

I'm going to the office. Listen, interest rates being at 7% for like the past three years has been a great thing for my leisure activity. Yeah. I was like, you need to lie to me. You need to lie to me. I know exactly you feel. Okay, I had a boyfriend.

I would like go. I'd walk over to the studio. I'd record. We'd work all day long. I'd get on me. He'd be coloring. Coloring. Doodly?

Oh, you've drawn another picture? You're trying to picture of the buildings outside? Go work! The way she says color. She does it on purpose. It's so mean. It was just like drawing. We have like,

Creola and, you know, he was sketching. I don't know, like cartoon characters. It was coloring. Does he work for Marvel? No, Bay Marvel guy.

He should drag me to all the Marvel movies. And then we broke up, he was like, I feel like you don't even like any of the stuff I like. And I was like, nobody likes it. Nobody likes it. Nobody likes it.

No, it's men's Roman Empire. Yeah. We say they try to explain it to you, they'll mansplain at like a high level. And you're like, I know nothing about it. Oh, they'll explain it to you like it's space. We're all going to blow you now, Jeff.

We're so turn on. That's what I was going for. Let's put cockering on it. So also, Heather, I love that you, like, take time off. Like, you are like, I bust my ass and that I'm chilling. I feel like that's very healthy. But I did have a conversation with one of my ages yesterday, and we were sitting around, and I thought it was going to be like a victory lap conversation.

Like, look at all this shit you've done. Like, you should be so proud of yourself. And they were like, so what are we doing for the socials? What content do we have lined up for the next month? And I was like, I want to be faced down, ass up at the pool. Like, can I just take a break? And it still never feels like enough. So I kind of, you're just constantly like in this machine, but I have to take time off.

Like, my brain is fried. We admire that you do that because there is this feeling when you work in entertainment that like it's like if I don't do it, someone else is going to. And if I don't produce the content and cut the reels and cut the reels and I'm out there all the time reminding people that we're here. Somebody else is going to do that instead. I mean, you really are somebody that's just like, I'm going Italy for a month. Yeah. It reminds us to take a break.

But that's when I get my best content. So it kind of works. Right. Here's the thing. Gals, you go right into the camera. If you go on vacation and then you talk about it and. Any sort of form like a public platform and you're an entertainer, you can write it off. Okay.

Don't give away all the secrets. I know. It's true. It's work. It is. It like actually is. Our account looked at us and like so when I had my business in New York, there were obviously certain regulations you had to follow with taxes and stuff. Our account it looked at us when like we did our taxes together for the first time.

And he's like, oh, your life is a write off. Like everything. It is. And I'm like, thank God. Because it all does become content. It really does. The golf, the golf club? Yeah.

We're right off. We're talking about it here. Yeah. it off. We did have a conversation though in that parking lot that day, I was like, Jeff, if the shoes on the other foot, and I was a tennis housewife, and I was just dicking around, and then I came home, and

I hadn't put shit in a crock pot, or I wasn't taking care of the kids, I was like, you would fucking leave me for somebody else. I was like, so if you're going to play golf all day, I need to at least come home and you have the shit unlocked. And he was like, I get it now. You have to talk to men in a business situation where I was like, we're running a business. You can't be

playing golf all day, and then not also have already brought home dinner or made a dinner reservation. Yeah, facilitate me being me, helping. Yes, yes. And now we get it, but he still is always like, okay, well, where does this bitch want to eat tonight? Because I made a reservation for sushi. Don't even fucking get me started.

And she wants Mexican. So now I'm like, make 10 dinner reservations. The biggest point of contention in any relationship is where you're going to eat. Because she's always like, you make a plan, and then I make a plan and it's, oh, I don't want to fucking go there. Yeah. Like, how did you not read my mind?

Every couple's, like, number one fight. My hack for this is give me three options and I'll pick. Thank you. Thank you. You've made a plan. That's great. put some forethought into it. You have a sushi reservation, a Mexican one, an Italian one.

Tell me, and you can cancel that. We constantly fall into the trap of, like, it's 8.30. Like, we have to eat within the next hour. And we have no reservation anywhere. And where the fuck do you want to eat? But guess what? I'm going to add that to the list. You're going to be the reservation king, honey. I'm going to get you a crap.

Apparently, now I have a game plan. Sorry, John. Always three. Three options. That's what I do for you. I always have three reservations. I always have something close to the house, a little closer to a fun or part of town. Like, that's what I do.

Something inconvenient. Yeah. be canceling left and right every night. Okay, maybe two? Yeah, two, just two. Let's silent it. Two's good. Okay.

And then you guys, your family planning, right? Yes. Embryos going, is that what's happening? We have one embryo on ice, a little girl on ice, but now I don't, this is the other hard thing in the business, just being like totally candid. Obviously, people are like, there's never the right time. But I'm like, no, if I know a year in advance, I got to go on tour, I'm doing a comedy cruise in April.

Well, I can't be on the high seas, knocked up. So I also have to, like, think. about that. Totally. So I might do another round of egg freezing or embryos this summer to try and get as much as I can because it's only getting dustier and crustier down there and I already didn't have eggs to begin with. So that's one thing. We were thinking about actually going to Ireland because Ireland apparently it's very inexpensive and I've done a little bit of research. There's IVF tourism now apparently. Yeah. You can go to other countries. I recommend turkey for prostate surgery. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, listen, I'm just like if I got to do it, I might go sit in Dublin for a couple weeks and

get it done. Really, I mean, it's never the right time. No, but for real, though, right now, you're like on a rocket ship. It's, it can't, I mean, it has to slow it down. You have to raise a kid. You know, like, you can't just do it and keep the trajectory up. So, yeah. It is a frustrating conversation. I have women that have a DM me, like, a baby would look good on you. And I'm like, yeah, it would, but also I have XYZ. I love what I do when I was a late bloomer in my career in the sense. So I'm like, it is weird. It's a double-edged sword. Being a woman, being in your late 30s, knowing that the clock is ticking, but also wanting a family, but also like I have all these other things I want to do.

And it is wild too because I thought, you know, when I thought my TV show was going to get picked up, I was like, okay, I've planted it out perfect. I'm going to shoot this pilot. Then we're going to have a season. Then I can, you know, maybe have a baby the next year. And now I'm like,

you got to kick the can down the road because you don't know what's going to happen. So. Yeah, I think my biggest fear is just dragging a baby through an airport. Those like first like six to 12 months. I love you said that, that you're actually thinking about what the child's life looks like. Yeah. That's, I mean, you know, whether we use a surrogate or she carries the kid to

whatever we choose to do is great, but I think the hardest part is when you physically have to take care of the kid. Right. Can I even do this? The kid is there. Like, is it fair to drag a kid through an airport? Right.

Well, yeah, it's just tour. Or not be on a regular schedule. That kind of stuff. I mean, I could leave the baby with you, but it's also like, you know, I'm the mom. But you can't though. You're the mom. Yeah, like the baby physically needs you.

Yeah. Yeah. No, it's a tough thing, but let's end on this cruise. Yeah, so we're doing a cruise. We're going to hit the high seas next April. It's going to be absent. Sandhinch. Actually, I should talk to you.

Y'all should come on the cruise. It could be fine. I've never been on a cruise. Oh, my God. And I think it would be so... So fun. I would do it if you guys were there. You'll be there. The whole fam's coming.

We'll bring sex toys. Yeah. Sex toys for everybody. You should do a little sex show. Wait, you should do a sex toy. You set up a booth. Robin will sell your sex toys. Yes.

Yes. Oh, I love that. I'm obsessed. She's signing Cock Wreck. Yeah. Oh, she'd love it. Actually, it's so funny. Jeff models them.

You're like, oh, this is inappropriate. You all butt plugs, right? Yeah. You sent a butt plug to the house. My mom opened the gift basket. The first thing was the butt plug. She goes, oh, a new wine cork. I had no idea.

It does look kind of like a wine cork. Yep. She thought it was like one of those great little like, you know, perfect wine corks. Even though it says anal on the side of it? It does say anal. She has one wonky eye. Yeah. She doesn't read good.

She got her cataracts done. And then I slowly saw her taking all the other vibrators. I was like, okay, mom. And I was just like, live your life. So she also is giving big fan of the, yeah. Okay. Whatever she wants. We'll send her on them.

And it's kind of dark that we know that my mom loves your vibrators. Like that's how weird this relationship has gotten with us living with my mom. She's like, I know when you guys are having sex, I'm like, Mom, when your door is closed and I hear Michael Bublae blasting on the so notes. I know you're enjoying yourself. So it is what it is. I love it with the official vibrator company of the household. McDaniel's household. McDaniels McDaniels.

All right. We know you guys got to go. You got to get to the airport. So everywhere people can find you on Dear Media with us. Yep. On Dear Media. Heather K. McMahon. I got a podcast.

Absolutely not. And, you know, I'll be shaking my tits for cash soon. So sign up for the cruise. It's going to be out of control. All right. And Jeff, Italian Stallion? Where can they find you? Tell them.

All the golf course. The Atlanta Club. Yeah, Atlanta Athletic Club. Or South Carolina. Yeah. In the woods. Yes. And you guys know where to find us.

Girls Got to Eat.com. Girls Got a podcast on Instagram and TikTok. Get those tour tickets to Girls Gotteeat.com. Ash, Hes. Rina. com. Vives only.com. Get the butt plug slash winecork.

And we'll see next week. We'll see you on Thursday. for the first episode of our second weekly episode. That's right. So we'll see you in a couple days, actually. Okay, bye guys. Bye guys.