Girls Gotta Eat - Cumming of Age

Episode Date: February 13, 2020

Fire up some Ying Yang Twins and raise a glass of Captain and Coke -- we're discussing our college experiences and what we were like in our twenties in terms of drinking, dating, finances, friendships, etc., plus sharing the lessons we learned and offering "advice to our younger selves." We're also chatting about masturbating (yes, vibrator recommendations), our drinks of choice, girl fights, sex convos with our families, and more. We hope you love listening to this one as much as we loved recording it! Follow us on Instagram @GirlsGottatEatPodcast, Ashley @AshHess, and Rayna @Rayna.Greenberg. Check our website for tour dates and merch. Thank you to our partners for this episode: Helix: Helix is offering up to $200 of all mattress orders at helixsleep.com/gge. Zola: Get 50% off your Save-the-Dates at zola.com/gge + promo code SAVE50. Away: Go to awaytravel.com/gge to start your risk-free, 100-day trial. Article: Get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at article.com/gge. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Like that guy that I dated all summer, he was great to have sex with. I will not, I will not. I refuse. I refuse. Draw the line. Yes. That's how you punish them. Do something they'll never know about.

Welcome back to another bonus episode of Girls Got to eat. Extra, extra. I feel very extra today. Very smile. I was just listening to you talk to do, which makes me smile. Oh. It was cute. Yeah.

You almost got a video and then I got too personal. You said some not suitable for work content while you're on the floor. No, that sounds terrible. I'm not talking dirty. need a Dewey. It does sound really bad. I'm sorry. No, it was like about whatever. It was about something, whatever. No, forget it. Okay. Let me just, I'm going to tell you this. So, also it's like rainy and gross today. Whatever. We're supposed to go up and see our billboard, but it got like the weather got away for us. But if you're listening, the billboard is still there.

So you guys have today, this is the 13th today and tomorrow to go see the billboard. Just got to throw that out there. Yes. 5 to 7 p.m. 40 seconds street, 7th Avenue. It's not a billboard. It's four billboards. They've together they make one big fucking billboard. This is funny. I didn't even tell you this yet. So they're painting a mural in my courtyard with the building. I stopped and had an awkward flirting situation with one of the guys painting the other day. I forgot to tell you. Oh, you didn't even tell me that.

Okay. And then so they saw Dewey and this one woman artist was like all obsessed with Dewey. And I hear her saying something to him and I said, I caught my ear. And I'm like, she's calling him a sexy boy. The construction worker or Dewey? The artist, the muralist. The muralist. She is bed over like petting Dewey going,

you're such a sexy boy, you're such a sexy boy. And I was like, excuse me? And she goes, I'm so sorry, I can't stop calling my dog a sexy boy. And I was like, I feel uncomfortable. Just because, listen, there are a myriad, a buffet of adjectives you could use to describe an animal. It shouldn't be sex adjacent. It's not.

I'm not hypothesizing that like she wants to fuck the dog. I'm an adult. I know that it means he's just like a sexy little boy. But no. No. Oh, also, this is a great promo for our pet episode, which came out earlier this week if you guys haven't heard it. But I, she, I think, did want to fuck him.

Like, when I came through again, she started like with him. She, like, made a big thing about it. And then when I came through without him on my way out for the night, she was like, I'm happy to see you, but wish your dog was with you. And I was like, bitch, I don't even know you. This is crazy. So she's like a jealous ex-girlfriend. She, like, threw you shade because you took a walk without your sexy little boy.

And I, it, there is like so many crazy things that people call their dogs, but I love that you said sex to Jason. That's the funniest fucking thing. It's everything I say to do, it would never be handsome. Yes. But I don't even really, I don't, I treat him like a son.

Yeah, I know it's your child. Oh, I gotta tell you. My boyfriend. The other night, so my sister-in-law was in town this weekend. We had dinner with like a bunch of her friends.

Like all the girls were in our bridal party. And I have like a pretty unique relationship with my brother. Like, we do talk about sex. Yeah. Yeah. And my sister.

Not my sex life. I would say like we're sort of in the middle. We don't talk about it as little as you and your brother do. but like we're also not to talk about every conversation. I would say it's just we tell jokes about it sometimes. Anyway,

yeah. I was talking to my sister-in-law and I said something about like sticking her finger in my brother's ass. What? God damn. And all of her friends were like, what are you guys talking about?

And one girls were like, are you talking to with your brother? Oh my God. It's just like to me it's like a hypothetical thing, but like it made, I made everybody really uncomfortable. Yeah. Yeah, everyone was uncomfortable.

Lately, I think that we don't talk about, like, sex so openly, like, you guys do. I mean, my family's really sex positive, you know. I mean, anything goes, but we just don't really talk about, like, personal sex lives. I mean, I talk about mine with my mom, but, like, I have felt like me doing comedy has, like, broken down the barriers a little bit more of, like, what we joke about as a family because I am up there on stage talking about sex and my dad and my mom and my brother are in the audience.

The stuff that we have said in front of our family is disgusting. Yeah, so I think it's like, I kind of like it. I feel like it has made us be a little more openly, like, talking about this kind of stuff. It doesn't feel so, like, awkward and taboo. We're still not out here. I still won't talk about my sex light with Matt. Like, he would die, but just the jokes and stuff like that, I feel like it's made it easier to joke around, which I love.

Yes, I think... Can't recommend doing comedy enough. By the way, it's hypothetical. And I'm not talking to my sister a lot, but, like, how to stick her finger on my brother's butthole. It's a joke. It's hypothetical. But I think it's important to acknowledge that everybody has sex.

they've been together for a decade. I knew they have sex. Right. They live together. They're married. Obviously, they live together. But you're so right. Like, on our billboard, there's a photo of me.

Head back, two mics in my hand, miming, sucking two dicks at once. And I started doing that in front of my dad in Dallas at the show. Yeah. And I was miming, tit-fucking myself with the mic. Like, we've done some disgusting things. I'm so proud of you, Ray. He really is. Guys, this is a bonus episode.

And we are answering the question. what were we like in our 20s and what advice would we give to ourselves in our 20s? But right off the top, we just wanted to answer some of your quick, rapid-fire questions. We put this Instagram story slide up a few weeks ago before we started the bonus episodes

and asked what you guys wanted to know about us and a lot of the same kind of things, but we'll just like run through some of them. I'm going to ask you this one right out of the back. Right out of the gate. Raina, a lot of them were very specific to me and you. Raina, have you ever gotten locked off from sucking too much dick? Who is sucking so much?

much dick that they're getting locked off. Your mouth looks like it opens pretty wide. You've like a pit bull jaw. Oh my God. Right. How have you never get in a dog fight? You can just clamp down. Wait, seriously?

I think you have a big mouth. I've put a lot of dicks in it. Like, you know you see somebody and you're like, that mouth can't suck a big dick. You looked at me and you're like, that mouth can take a dick. Yes. It looks like when Matt's pit bull opened his mouth, it goes all the way open.

Oh, it does like on. First of all, I'm not opening my mouth that much when a dick is in it. It's just, you know, my, my jaw is pretty much shut when there's a dick in it. Also, as we clarified a few weeks ago, I don't give any blow jobs to completion. I like sucking dick, not finishing sucking dick. Right, which this person asked the right way. They said, Raina, have you gotten locked job from sucking too much dick? Not Raina, have you gotten locked job from giving blow jobs? Because we all know, Raina Greenberg doesn't like any jobs. Love sucking dick. I don't want to work out. I don't want to do any jobs. I haven't had a job

in years. No, I have not. And I think that if you're giving the correct type of blow jobs. Masturbated at giving a blowjob the other day. It's one of my favorite things. We're going to get to masturbation in a second. Sorry, I skipped ahead. Okay, I'm going to ask you, Ashley, have you ever been in a fight?

Like a physical fight? Yeah, the full thing said, have you been in a physical altercation with another girl? No, I have, like, a fantasy of being in a fight. That's what you masturbate to? Yeah. And kicking somebody's ass that, like, I don't know what they would do to make me feel so strongly.

because I don't condone violence and I hate even like movies and stuff with a bunch of fighting and violence. So I'm just not a violent person. But I do kind of, I want to know what I would be like in a fight. I think everybody wants to know if they can fight. And it's like, I think I can because I like like to box and kick box and things. But I don't have a lot of upper body strength. So I think I think I would kick somebody's ass and I would get beat the shit out of me. Here's my hypothesis.

I think it depends on what the fight is about. It depends on how mad I am. Because you've seen women like lift a car to save a baby. Right. Like it depends on what you have done. Like, let me find out that somebody like slept with my husband. Yeah. Then I could get a girl fight.

Yeah, I pushed a girl once. This was with an ex like so many years ago. We were at this plate. I mean, this is a deep cut Atlanta Buckhead bar called the Peach Tree Tavern. And we were there seeing Zach Brown ban. I used to always go with my ex to see Zach Brown before they were like so huge. And this girl just kept hitting on my boyfriend. Like this happened to us a couple times.

I don't know if he looked very inviting or friendly or whatever. He got hit on a lot when we were out together and it pissed me on. and I was so clearly with him and she just kept coming by and like trying to touch him and talk to him and I like I just pushed her from the back and sent her like flying forward and then ran to the bathroom.

And he ran away. That's tough. Like that's enough to scare most people and not behaving like that anymore. I'm with you. I've never had to like fight somebody and Pittsburgh girls can fight. Like I watched girls in high school like

destroy the men that they were dating. Like girls in Pittsburgh are terrified. And I, The thing I think, like, when I take a boxing class, I can throw a punch. Like, every box instructor is like, you have the form, you have long limbs. Like, when you're boxing, the people that are so good at boxing are have really long limbs because you can, like, someone can be so much farther away from you, you can hit them. And they have to get so much closer to you to hit you.

But I just, the upper body strength is not there. So I just don't know what would happen. Like, I think it's like, I think it would go either way. I would like beat the shit out of someone or I would get my ass handed to me. Well, you at least have the advantage of height. Like, I would never try to fight you. I'm just going to go for the ankles. Tackle me.

I just remember, like, you got into that fight at the airport where that girl's trying to turn it, and you turned around, you were like, when you tried to fight me at an airport? I just imagine that being like your go-to line for everything. Like, what are you going to fight me? You're going to fight me on the quarter of 42nd and seventh? Like, it would just make me laugh anyway. So, no, I haven't been a fight, but I did push that girl and ran to the bathroom. I've never.

I've hit men, not women. Also, like, I don't, I feel like I'm a pretty intelligent person today. Like, I'm, I can rip you down with my words, like, pretty bad. Oh, no. I can, like, scar you for life. words alone. Yeah. So I don't really need to physically assault you. I'll give you like a complex you will never recover from.

Oh my God. Are we allergic to anything? Are you? You're not right? I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I have an allergic reaction to alcohol. And there doesn't seem to be any consistency to it. Like it's happened with sangrita.

It's happened with wine. It's happened with tequila. So once in a blue moon, have you ever seen me have like that crazy allergic reaction? Yeah. It like spreads all over my chest. I just get really red. That's it.

Yeah. Yeah. No. I have like little bouts of like hand dermatitis here and there. It's just basically like XM on your hands. But I haven't really, you know, last, last winter, my fingers were like peeling. Remember it was like so painful. My fingertips were like scaly. They look great. Yeah. I think they're fine. But it's not an allergy. But I've never, uh, any allergies. I'm so perfect. You're doing great, sweetie. Um, what are your middle names? I feel like we talk about your middle name that it's Joy. My middle name is Joy. Ashley Joy. Hustle Tye. It's also my mom's. So my mom's Lucinda Joy and we have the same middle name. It's really sweet to like name somebody after an a moment. Ocean. Isn't that cute? My name's Lee, L-I-G-H, like Ashley's dad. I'm spelling my dad. Ashley's dad. Now she's friendly who listens to a podcast we love. It's very funny. You've gravitated towards these Leys. For the Leys. Those are the two people I feel like in my life you love the most are literally both named Lee. That is true. I really do. I love them so much. Yeah, I was named after my grandmother and he was Rosalie. Oh. I don't even know if I knew that.

Now you know. Go to alcoholic drinks. What do you like to drink? Tequila. really love wine. I'm like a seasonal wine drinker. I love red wine in the winter and white wine in the summer. You guys know I love a Kimmy C, Savvy B, and a rosé, but the hangovers are just getting worse and worse as I age. So for me, I love a margarita more than anything. But if I'm in it to drink throughout the night, I stick to tequila soda, splash a lime juice. And I don't know. I don't think all tequila are created equal. I like Casamigos. I feel like the next. I feel like the nights that I've strictly had, Casamigo, soda, splash of lime juice,

I wake up feeling the best. And I like the taste of it. It's like the skinniest of skinny of skinny margaritas, but the taste of a margarita is my favorite cocktail, I would say. I am 100% the same. I love wine. I drink white in the summer, red in the winter. Tequila. I don't get the soda. I just get tequila shaking on

the rocks with lime. I like when they put the lime juice in it and shake it. My friend Melanie started doing that, so that's how I order it now. Yeah. That's what I like. In college, I used to drink. double captain and Diet Coke. And I can't even drink TAPTA. I can't drink Diet Coke anymore because it tastes like Captain Morgan.

It's so disgusting. I feel like we had, and we're going to get into this today, had a very similar college experience. The captain was a go-to. Was there something else who was like a knockoff Captain Morgan? I mean, I don't know. Ours was Ron Rico. Did you ever get down with Ron Rico?

Is that what it, Ron Rie? It's a knockoff Captain Morgan? Ron Rico, I think maybe they had a dark, but we would get the clear light rum Ron Rico in a plastic gallon. Yes, the plastic. And we would just drive around with it. Like waste it. Just hit the open road, Clemson.

Ron Rico. So ghetto. Admiral Nelson. That's what I used to. Well, that was an actual Captain Morgan knockoff. Like the logo was like a captain vibe. Yes. Admiral Nelson.

Totally. In the plastic bottle. Oh, my God. I remember when I was 19 or 20, my mom was asking me what I wanted for Christmas. And I just said like a bottle of. Captain, a bottle of, like, kettle or whatever. My mom was like, we're not getting you alcohol for your Christmas presents, Ashley. Like, we know you drink under age.

You don't have to rub in our face that you want us to wrap bottles and put them under the tree. That's what kids want, okay? That's what the kids want. Lucinda. Lucinda Joy. Favorite snacks. I don't know people care about this stuff. My favorite snack is, well, I mean, I always have on hand pretzel thin, everything pretzel

thins and hummus is the only thing's, like, really in my fridge. goldfish crackers. But I think you, we've like kind of adopted each other's like snack. Well, at least with me with you. I didn't really used to get down with checks mix until I started traveling with you all the time. You're like a checks mix person. Always have checks mix my bag on the road.

I still love my Doritos. I love popcorn. I've gotten you on popcorners. Yeah. A fancier snack always just cheese and charkootry. Charcotee. Like that's always what I want. Me too. That's what I want. So if you You guys work for any of those companies, pretzletons or Doritos or a hummus company and you want to sponsor us or send us free products. I'll take it. I do love hummus, but then I'm like, I feel like I've

just OD'd so many years. Like the amount of hummus that a white girl has eaten in her 30s is just, it's too much. It is shameful. I've started putting, um, started putting like different hot sauces in it just to spice it up a little bit. Oh my God. I put Chalula in it. I've gotten away from Frank's Red red hot. I'm in a, I'm on a Chulula track. Okay. And then the very last one, often do you masturbate? I don't know. Take this one since you're so proud as of late. I don't know what I'm proud. I'm more ashamed that I am proud.

We went out the other night, first of all, a typical week. I never go out and like what your experience out at a public place is an actual porn for you? Because that's what Rayna experienced the other night. Every guy she has a thing with just kept coming around the corner. I was like,

he's here, he's here? Oh my God. He's here too? I was like, is Rayna? Okay. I did like a pants check. I was like, is she soaked? I didn't know what to do.

I was so comfortable. One of those guys was coming, and then he was there. I was like, Raina's not going to be okay. I didn't either. And then I just, whatever, we're at a comedy club. I didn't know what to do. I was just like ping ponging from like person to person. Thank God.

You weren't. One of them left. Yeah. And then you weren't even drinking. You were just your like best self. Flurting off the storm. Oh my God. That was so crazy.

At your show, which is so much fun. And then we all got a cab on the way home. Raina jumps out of the car. was have fun fucking slams the door. I was like, there she is. Dead's over. She's on fire tonight. I actually, the other day, masturbated before I went out.

Which is like the most masculine thing you can do. Like being like, I've got to get this juice out of my body before I go out. Standing there jerking off. So first of all, Ashley and I masturbate with the same vibrator. Do you remember what it was called? Yes. The vibrator that we both have. We share the same vibrator.

we each have her own. So don't get weird about it. We got it when we had the Babe Land episode. And she just brought the same one for us. It's called the Roxy and it is on Babeland site. So if you, it's purple, it's pretty discreet. Silicon has a bunch of different speeds. It's all you need, really.

Last forever. Well, mine lasts longer than yours. I'm just charging it home right now. And also since I started using it, I like can't manually masturbate anymore. It's like too good of an experience. Like the catalog of experience is like when you sit courtside at a Knicks game, you can't ever not to court side again. You can't get a snowsbleeds.

So anyways, I typically masturbate like three times a week. I think it's like important like self-care. I just think it's nice to masturbate, whatever. It helps me to sleep. But after the stand show, I went home and made out and I'm masturbated. I do not make out with anybody. And then I masturbated three times the next day. One each guy.

So shameful. I couldn't like pick who to masturbate you first. You just had to go. Damn it. I have none of them listen to this. And I know they do. God damn it. You know they.

I love that you said that. Recently I, when I said, that I masturbated three to people in one afternoon. I want to clarify. I love that you said that it helps you sleep. I lately, I'll go in waves. Like, I'll realize that I haven't masturbated in a week and then I'll be like, how can I be forgetting? And then I'll masturbate every day.

How can I be forgetting? I'm forgetting to have an orgasm. Like, why not? It takes two seconds. I have been making it a conscious effort to, clearly not that I have to, I like it. So whatever, but to have my alarm set, phone away. I'm not going to see the screen. anymore. So everything's ready to go. I don't have to look at my phone anymore and masturbating right before I like actually go to sleep. And, um, you know, if you get like,

you know, a little tissue by the bed, whatever. I'm not just like laying in it. Like, like, you know, get all juiced up. Not to get too graphic. But like, it's been really helping me like drift into a more peaceful sleep. Like to have it be the very last thing you do, dark room fade into sleep after that. I've been sleeping better through the night. Oh, really? I think it clears your head a little bit. I think it clears your head a little bit. The trick is not to look back at your phone for any reason. I mean, you have a harder time sleeping and, like, shutting it down the night than I do. But yeah, anytime I want to take a nap or go to sleep, you just masturbate and smoke a little

weed. Yeah. I can't recommend it enough. Well, and you watch a little bit of porn here and there. I usually just, like, to be completely honest, what we're talking about it, I mean, I feel like it's a pretty personal thing, but I usually just do, like, recall a recent sexual experience. So I'll pull one from the past.

Like, I just, I like, you know, you guys know me, put on Rihanna, start thinking about something and get after with the Roxy. I'm with you, though. And I think that, well, if I'm trying to go to sleep, I won't watch porn because I don't want to stare at a screen. It helps me to go to sleep. But all recent sexual experiences, but I wasn't always like that. It's only in the last, like, few years. And it's probably because I've been having better sex than the last, like, four years or so.

I never used to be able to masturbate to previous sexual experiences. It had to be porn 100% of the time. I've almost never been able to masturbate to previous sexual experiences, except for in the last, like, four years or so. Yeah. Yeah, that's fair. I would say that's pretty accurate, too. maybe I have like one from my like earlier 20s or whatever that was pretty hot. But then like there's a few, there's a few from like an X that I think about and then like whoever I'm sleeping with recently because they're like fresh in my mind and I like want to fuck them.

Exactly. You know what? I don't do. I purposely don't do this. If I like a guy like a new guy, I don't masturbate to him. Because in my mind says to me he's giving you an orgasm. Oh my God. And then it makes it worse.

I swear to God. just can't do it. I mentally like I just won't do it to myself. Okay. And I also find that like, remember I like that guy, I don't have to remind you. I'd like this guy for like a year and a half who may or may not be homeless. I don't know. We don't know. I couldn't masturbate to him. And I don't know why. He could. He was hot, okay? He's still hot. It's very interesting. We can talk about this a later day too, because this is not even part of the topic today. but like who you, there was somebody, and this was a while back that I thought that I had like feelings for.

It was like a friend. I wasn't sure, but I just wasn't, didn't see him like that. Nothing ever happened with it. I don't think that were a match, but like I couldn't masturbate to him. I think that's a good test. Can you masturbate the person or not? Yeah.

Or if somebody does something really shitty, me or terrible, I also refuse to masturbate to them because I also will not give them the satisfaction of giving me an orgasm. I won't do it. Like that guy that I dated all summer, he was great to have sex with. I will not, I will not masturbate to him. I refuse.

Draw the line. Yes. That's how you punish them. Do something they'll never know about. I'm really sticking it to these guys. If you ever seem, and you know what? I refuse to masturbate to you. He's like, what?

Okay. He's like, I never would have needed to know about this ever. Oh my God. It's so funny. Oh, man. You know what? That's like kind of an interesting segue. Do you,

you masturbated like early as a kid? Yeah, we've talked about it a bunch. So, like, I really started masturbating probably when I was, like, I don't know, like, 12 or 13, like, just touching myself. I don't even know if I did it to orgasm. Right. Like, I don't. And, like, I think that when you hear about kids that were, like, so sexualized at a young

age, like, something has happened to them. Like, nothing has ever happened to me and nobody ever touched me. Right. I just, like, I've always been a pretty sexual person and a sex positive home. So, yeah, I don't actually genuinely remember if I was, like, having orgasms or not. But did you, like, when did you get your first vibrator? Do you remember? My first vibrator, I was in college, and I was, I went with my roommate.

it's Zach to a place. It's called the Tomogachi 3,000 or some shit like that. It's blue and I still have it. Yeah. I was like 20. Yeah. I was like probably, I was actually out of college. I was like 25, maybe 24 and I went with a friend of mine, maybe probably 23, 24 and like to this like sex store and bought like the $70. I didn't have any money. I probably overdrew my bank account on like a $70 rabbit that was like the dumbest thing. You know, the giant, it goes in. It's a huge dildo with a clit stimulator. Like I would never these days. And it was like, I just feel like even back then I had to be like, Is this necessary? Like I have to clean this giant blue dick.

Wait, mine was a giant blue dildo, silicon dildo with a clip stimulator. Yeah, it's huge. Yeah. And so, and then for years after, I would have these pure romance parties and, which were so fun, we would always have them around Valentine's Day. This is super relevant right now. Kate and I would do them. I think we had them like five Valentine's days in a row. Oh, wow.

And we'd have this lady named Annette come. She would bring giant gun cases full of vibrators and dildos, set them up on the floor. and we would have like this drunk and wild girls night. She would make so much money off of us. But looking back, like you just don't need though. Like I don't even think people are doing that that much. I would know, no shade if you are. I just, for me, it's too big.

It's too much. I don't want to clean it, you know. I have, I totally agree with you. I have four vibrators in my drawer like next side. Because Remy on her episode had to come was talking about the womanizer. Yeah. So we got those and then somebody else gave those tests. All my vibrators are gifts from guests.

leaving their gone on your show. They've come on ours. But yeah, none of them are a dildo. They're all like the external vibrators. Yeah. For the clip. But people feel like they know they have a better feel for what I was like in college in my 20s than you. So I feel like you need to share your truth. Yeah. I mean, we'll talk about like a whole bunch of different things in terms of like relationships and sleeping around and dating and lifestyle and like your passion and all this is drinking and stuff. I think there's so much to cover. And just to preface this, we are going to talk more about the career stuff and in a other episode is just a lot. Like I kind of wanted this to be like more dating lifestyle, what we were like, you know, but we'll touch on it. But we're going to get into that full like career path in another episode. Yeah. And I'm glad to cover it. And I've said this to you 100 times before we started recording.

But I think we get a lot of episodes from girls that are like, I'm 23 and I don't know, I'm doing my life. And I'm upset about this boyfriend or this job. And I just think that like hopefully what people will take away from this is that you have time to figure it all out. You're so young at those ages. Yeah. I went to Indiana University.

I wanted to go to like a Big Ten school. I wanted to go to like a big sports school. I always knew I'd love in New York, so it was important to me to go somewhere that was like a college environment. I don't know. I think I was like most college kids. I drank a lot.

I drank too much. I drank every single day. I was not in a sorority. I don't, I've never cared about school ever. Like I was never, I was always like a B student. Like in high school, were you like bees? I couldn't have cared less. I got like A's and B's,

but I like never would have gone the extra mile. I was an A-minus student at best. I never took books home. I skipped class all the time. and boys were always much more important to me. Drinking was more important to me. Smoking weed was more important to me. I just did not care about school at all.

And I got into a perfectly good school and that was it. So I don't know. We can talk about the different buckets, but like, yeah, I think I slept around like a good amount. I don't think I ever did it for personal validation. You lost your virginity at? I was 16 when I lost my virginity. So you went to clarify.

You weren't like later, you know, you like went off to college. You'd been fucking. I'd been fucking. I slept with three guys in high school. school. I slept with the guys I lost my virginity with and I dated a guy for a whole year and then I slept with like one guy right before college. So I think I slept

with three guys before college. So yeah, not a late bloomer in any sense. I started drinking when I was 14. Like I've always drank. I've never had like a problem with alcohol where it was like affecting my life. But like yeah, I mean, it doesn't sound good to be 14 in drinking. Yeah. But I'm talking like a beer on the weekends. Yeah. So I just

I drank and I smoked a lot of weed. I always worked in college. And we'll talk about career stuff and another episode. But yeah, I've had a job since I was 15. I worked at a restaurant my whole life. So I worked like four nights a week in college at a restaurant. Most of my social life was around that. And there was a lot of drinking in those environments too. Yeah.

And sleeping around with coworkers and going out late and staying out late. But I've always worked my whole life. I didn't care about school, but I've always cared about money. Were you, I can't remember if I know this about you. Did you have loans? Like were you paying your way through school, kind of? Yeah. So all my rent and bills were paid by me.

Like the way that my family structure has always been is like, there's a net to catch me if I need it. I've never been like hard up for money. Like if I really needed something, the money was there. But my parents did expect me to work in college. So I paid my rent. My rent was $350 a month.

Yeah. My first rent was $265. And I was like, this is so much money. Right. I remember having to like call my dad sometimes for like $25. Right. Oh, yeah.

I paid rent and bills. I lived with the same girl all four years. She was Katie and then my friend Zach for two years. But I always worked. and my parents paid my student, paid for it, but like I co-signed those student loans. So I'm paying off the student loans. Okay.

Yeah, so I came out of school with some loans. But I think I was like a pretty typical kid. I was, I was a little insecure. I didn't really necessarily know how to like act in like really crazy social situations. I probably should have joined a sorority. I think my life would have just been a little bit more manageable in terms of making friends and having like a more structured social environment. Yeah.

I just, I grew up, not insecure, but like we talked a little bit out in the gaslighting episode, how like I feel like my mom really did that to me a lot growing up, which made me second guess everything I thought and felt. So I think I had a lot of self-talk in college especially about like everything I thought and felt and did. I was just constantly in my head like, oh, is this the right thing to do, which probably read is being very insecure. And we didn't have social media. So imagine it. Like we were talking about this. Like we can't stress this enough while we're talking about. We grew up in a different time. Like I mean, there was social media was starting in college, but not Instagram and not like the things that make you compare yourself to others and

make you feel so much anxiety and competition. Like we just didn't have it. Like there, we didn't wake up with a bunch of pictures of us being wasted on in the internet in the morning. You know, like it was, it was different. I can't imagine. It was easier. It was. And I think that there has never been an acceleration. We were talking about us before we recorded, but like, there was never been an acceleration in the change in the way people date and interact with friends also the way that there has been in the last like five, six years because of dating. apps in social media. Those things just didn't exist when I was growing up. Like Facebook was the only thing I had in college and MySpace?

MySpace. But even like they just weren't even what they are today. Like it just wasn't instant. Yeah. The statuses were different. Photo tagging was different. It was not even what it was a few years back when it, I mean, I think Facebook was like totally changed since when it was like hot.

But it was very college driven when we were in college. It was about your course load and like nobody was taking pictures of me at a frat party. No, it wasn't about that. What was your major? I majored in advertising. I'm minored in marketing, so it was a major in journalism and a minor in business. What about you? I forget. Marketing? Marketing, but like, whatever.

Like, you can't, like, it's just like, I mean, I'll get to it, but but I feel, I don't, I don't, this whole episode is certainly not going to be about, like, back in my day, but like, I just want to, like, give credit, and so to you, like, the fact that, like, it just is harder today. I just, it has to be. I wasn't

confronted with all of these people that had hair extensions and lip implants and injections and Botox and like all of that stuff was on the internet and then I was on the internet and then there's dating apps and dudes had a billion opportunities to fuck every girl on the planet. I know. I just didn't grow up like that. Yeah. The good old days. So then you moved to New York right after college. I moved to New York after college. I moved here during the recession. So it was really, really tough. Nobody would hire me. I was like, I can't fucking believe I made this decision. I moved to New York with $4,000. and it was gone in the blink of an eye.

So I started waiting tables. But I've always waited tables. I've always worked. I've always made money. I've always like hustled. My parents have always let me know that they're there for me. But the money was not, it wasn't just like, you know, on the payroll kind of thing. Yeah.

So yeah, moved to New York right after that, started waiting tables. And that's, and then we'll talk about like our dating lives and stuff. But that was it. I mean, I was living my best life in New York. I was doing drugs and drinking. I was going out after work every night. I was partying until 5 a.m. I was sleeping with all the wrong people.

You really partied. I did all the stuff. I mean, I moved here when you were supposed to move here and make mistakes. All right. Well, let's talk about you because, I mean, yeah, we've talked about it, but I mean, maybe not everybody's listened. Yeah, it's kind of funny. I was, I've been like a straight-d-student in my entire life. So, like, those are for like the two things that define me. Like, in high school and college, we're like straight-a student crazy partier, you know, like, not drunk every night because my whole life, I felt like my job is to like get straight-a's be the best that I can be like at school. I was just like, I crush it at school. I wasn't that great at sports, but I was like, I know school, it's easy for me. me. Everything comes easily to me. I can study. I never studied more than the night before a test. I have like a weird photographic memory. I just was like I crushed it at school. But I also loved a party. I had a fake idea at 15. I probably got drunk for the first time at 15. Was getting drunk. But again, like, even in college, I was like a heavy binge drinker Thursday, Friday, Saturday night. I wasn't like really out on a Monday and Tuesday. It just wasn't because I had school, you know, and that was important to me. But those are kind of like the defining things. I feel like I was in a sorority. I actually, if you guys really want a total deep dive on who I was in college, go listen to Kate Kennedy's podcast, be there in five. We talked about it. Like, I'm not going to get into it here. It would take an hour. But

we deep dove on like my sorority and how I basically like didn't get into a sorority that I wanted to be in, came back the next year, like rebranded myself completely, got prettier, got skinnier, and got into one that I wanted. Then I ended up quitting. It's a whole thing. I made my, most of my friends that I'm still friends with today. There are seven of us. We're all still friends. We're like family. they've a little bit different life. You met a lot of them. They're all married with kids. But we met mostly on the hall freshman year.

Had a great hall. Got really lucky. Became friends with these girls during sorority rush. None of us really got in the same sorority, but we stayed friends. All throughout, we would go back and go to Clemson games every year. Like, we've just stayed really close. And I love them so much. And we've seen each other grow up and seen each other, they're like our drunkest,

craziest times. Clemson was an odd choice for me. I'm glad that I went there. I feel like I just made some weird decisions in my my 20s of like going to school in the south, staying in the south. I don't regret it at all, which I would never, I just can't change anything, but I still feel like, I don't know. It just wasn't really who I was. I think I thought I wanted this like college southern football experience and it just wasn't who I was. I mean, when I was in high school, like, I had a car with rims on it.

I wore baby fat. My boyfriend was black. Like I just was like not a southern girl. And I think I said this on the Patreon when we talked about this before. But I just started applying to colleges. And I, that looked good. I only applied to a few. Got into college. Clemson. I felt like it sounded really impressive and it was really far away from Delaware and all my friends were going to University of Delaware and I just kind of started to say that I was going to go there and people thought that was cool because I'm from a small town and I just decided to go there and I never even went to visit. Like I didn't go into orientation and my mom said to me when I told I was like, I'm going to this school Clemson and she goes, Ashley, I just want you to know that like the south is

different. We'd never been to the south. We'd been to Florida. We'd been to Florida. We had family in Miami. We'd been to Disney World. I did not know the South. I'd never been to the South. I'd never been to the Carolina has never been to Georgia, never been Alabama, any of those. And she was like, the South is different. And I said, Mom, we're all American. And she was like, okay, bitch, wait until you get down there. And I got down there and I had culture shock and I wanted to transfer right away. And I like gained a bunch of weight, lost it, started dating this football player,

started to like Clemson, but still even the next year came back sophomore year, and wanted to transfer again. And then whatever I stayed, I had these great friends. Friends always like keep you grounded and like stay in a place, I feel like. But it was weird. I wasn't like a Southern girl. And I stayed there so long. Like I stayed in the south so long.

Atlanta's very different than Clemson, South Carolina. But that's just people ask how I chose it. And I'm like, I picked it out of a college book and made a snap decision as a 17-year-old. It's interesting to me to cut you off and finish your thought. No, I mean, but that's kind of that. I mean, my vibe in college got totally, total bench drinker, blackout drunk, most Thursdays through Saturdays, slept with a ton of dudes. I found a guy.

I met a guy two weeks before I graduated, which was so crazy because it was like, we've both been here this whole time. How do we just meet? Dated him on and off for six years. I've mentioned him a lot. We dated on off for a long time. But before that, I'd go on like dates here and there.

Dating in college is weird. I never had a boyfriend. I slept with a lot of guys. I liked athletes. I liked guys that just like a swagger about them, football players, soccer players, basketball players, whatever. and I guess I kind of was getting some validation from sex.

Not because I have daddy issues or anything. I just think I like didn't have, I had like an awkward stage growing up. I didn't have a lot of attention from guys. Like growing up, I was like a late bloomer sexually. I lost my virginia to my boyfriend before I went to college, like when that summer.

And then so I think when I was there, I think on some subconscious level, it was like sex was some sort of validation from men. So, yeah. I think it's... Fucked a lot, drank a lot. Still got straight A's, graduated with a 3.96. So got like 1B in four years.

Presidents list every semester. It's always... Two things. First of all, it's always... I think that you don't share it a lot. I think it's very interesting to me this dichotomy between the fact that you talk about being like a drunk slap,

but like that you were such a good student. It's just... It's a very interesting start contracts because you real... Things do really come easily to you. But sometimes you tell me stories and like the parallels between our lives are so interesting to me,

like how we found each other because like I had a very similar story. Like everybody I knew went to Penn State. I should have gone to Penn State. Like I regret to this day that I didn't go to Penn State. I had a great college experience. But like all my friends went to Penn State. And then all of the Penn State kids moved to New York, which is exactly what I wanted to do.

And because I didn't go to school on the East Coast, I don't have a lot of friends from college that live here. And it's a huge regret of mine. But I never just like you, I never had a parent that was like, think about this differently and like force me to do something else. My parents always been like pretty open and non-forceful of that stuff. they took me to visit everything.

Like we went to UMass, Yukon, Ohio State, the University of Ohio, we looked at Michigan. I was just like, I like Indiana. It's far enough away. And again,

I don't regret it. I loved my college experience. It was great. But like, it's interesting that you and I both had that. And the first day of freshman orientation, my mom and I went to a meeting. And I said something like,

damn it. And my mom was like, Rana, we are not on the East Coast anymore. You cannot act like this. Oh my God. That was the, I will never forget it.

It was like day one, hour one orientation. My mom was like, We are basically in the South. You can't act like this. But I know what a map looks like. It's not the South. But it's a different part of the country than how I grew up.

And you can't just be like spouting off at the mouth, that kind of stuff. Yeah. In that part of the country. I'm the same way as you. I was just like America's America, you know, but it's not. No. I went down there. I hung a picture of me and my black boyfriend up.

And I had a guy come into my, come into my dorm. And we were studying it. His name was Chad. Of course it is. First experience with the Chad. And he goes, how can you do that? Do that? Do what?

That's, I was shook. I had not experienced, this is a whole other topic. I just had to experience racism. Yeah, so we were just talking. I think it's really interesting that you and I had like these parallel experiences. Because like you should have just gone to Delaware and I should have just gone to Penn State like everybody else. Or just not Delaware. I still think I wanted to stand out and be different and be impressive in some way, but just not the South.

Like I just don't, I don't regret it. I don't regret anything. And we're going to get to this when we were talking about like the, what advice would you give? I don't really want to go back and change anything, but I just didn't really feel like I fit in, like the way that I wanted to. Like, I was always popular in high school. You know, I moved to Atlanta,

and after a few years, I found my place, and I felt like people knew I was. I felt like I fit in. I had my group. I feel like I fit in now more than ever, which is a really special thing to feel in Manhattan. I feel like we have our friends. We live this amazing life.

But like, at the one time in my life, I would feel like I didn't really fit in was in college. And I still had a great group of friends, but like, you know, I've always thrived and kind of like being kind of popular and people knowing what I'm doing and who I am and no one cared. And I just felt like that's probably a reason why you drink more and you get validation from guys because I didn't really feel like that was a fit for me. Me too. I still had fun.

Still loved it. You know, I'm obsessed with Clemsons. It's an idyllic place to go to school. It's incredible. The way that the campus is set up, everything is perfect. It couldn't be more perfect. But like just still always felt a little like. this might not been the right choice. Me too.

I mean, I just, I didn't fit in with those girls. Like, I just was louder than that. Yeah, same. Like, I was just like, I would go in like twerk before people knew what twerking was. And they'd be like, what? Right. It's just, you know, people looked at you, not you, but maybe me. Like, I was a little more, I mean, it's the thing that makes me good at this podcast. I am louder. I am ridiculous.

I will say and do the most ridiculous, outlandish things. I'm talking on our own podcast, but I masturbated to three different guys last week. That's how I've always been. That's not something. you can say a mixed company in Bloomington, Indiana. It's just not people are nicer people there. Right. So I didn't fit in.

I guess if I was like giving other people advice, I would just think about, you know, where do you see your life being in five or six years? And, you know, I probably would have just made a decision to not, because I wasn't going to move to Chicago, even though I love Chicago.

Yeah. Like I would just think about it a little more. And, you know, I think it's important to take calculated risks and push yourself outside of your boundaries. But I don't know that that was like a smart boundary boundary to push myself outside of because what was the point of that? Right.

Like, what kind of person are you? You know, I mean, I don't think we're talking to many girls right now in high school, just I into college. But, you know, I felt like I loved Atlanta. I think I stayed there a little too long. I could change anything and how my life is exactly where it is right now. I would have moved to New York a couple years sooner and met you. We'd be doing this podcast.

I'd be a little younger. But again, that's not how life works. You know, everything I've ever done in my life has brought me here. So I wouldn't change a damn thing, not one day, not one. one minute. But like, I also go to Chicago and I'm like, I think I would have fit in a little bit more here in my 20s. And Atlanta, I ended up, I had a great time. You know, I found my place. I found my friends. But I'm not an Atlanta girl. I'm a New York girl. You know, I probably would have been more a Chicago girl in my 20s. And like, it was just not who I am. And no shade.

Love the city. Stay there for a decade. But it wasn't totally me. And I'm so glad I left. I started a whole new life as an adult. Like, it was a risk. It's a risk. It's really hard to do. I don't, I don't know if I could have done it. I moved here when I was 22 in a lot of years to like figure out where I wanted to live and what mistakes I wanted to make and who I wanted to make them with. So I commend you for doing that. I think it's really brave. And I always think that you and I try to say, like, you know, how can we extrapolate this and, you know, give other people advice? And it's like, I don't know, if you think that you're ready for a different adventure, just take it. And if you're ready, I mean, Ashley and I both talked about how privately, but how we thought about switching

colleges or I'm moving to a new city sooner and if you feel like you're in a situation that is just not you and a fit for you, that doesn't mean you have to like stick it out and keep going, you know? Yeah. I think anything like that, any like, whether it's your city, whether it's your job, whether it's your relationship, like life is too short, you know? Like you just get out. I just, I just always find it like so admirable when people like move here straight out of

college. I mean, because it's so expensive. It's so hard to live here. Everybody's so broke. You know, like I always say to me and you are. is like you do move here then because you're like we're all fucking broke. You know, like I'm 22. Like, I'm living with roommates. It's, we're all in this together. Or you move like, I moved as an adult. I had money. I was able to live in a one bedroom by myself and a nice neighborhood and things like that.

So it's, it was that like middle ground that's weird because I was like living in a nice apartment in Atlanta but wasn't making enough money to live that same lifestyle in New York. So it's like almost just like waited until I was ready. Yeah, as an adult. I think it's, I mean, you're right. When I, when you move here at 22, it's like you don't care that. I was living in a bedroom that was like barely bigger than my twin bed. Like it was a tiny little shithole and I loved it. I couldn't have imagined anything more. Yeah.

I mean, and I can, we can just, I can kind of run through. Again, we don't want to get too deep into like the career stuff. But my path after college was I didn't really know what I was doing. I actually thought about moving to New York. I'd been here so many times as a kid growing up. I did foresee it always that I was going to end up in New York. But I had this guy that I was seen and I kind of thought he would end up in the South and I was really into him.

And then he broke the news to me that he was going to join the Peace Corps. my world came crashing down. He came back. Whatever's a whole mess. But I moved to Atlanta because it was easy. I had friends that already lived there from Clemson. They were like helping me. It just seemed really cheap. I mean, my first apartment in Atlanta. I lived with this other girl. It was a two bedroom, two bathroom, $500 a month. It was nuts in like a nice area. It was just so cheap and easy. And then I got a job with the magazine as an intern. They hired me as a nightlife editor. I dabbled. I always wrote, I've written my whole life. I was the editor of my high school newspaper. I took creative writing classes and I was a kid. It's always. has been my path and then dabbled in PR and then went back on my own as a freelance writer when I was maybe 27. And then I felt like it was this really crazy time in my life where I was the brokest I ever was. I'd moved into apartment for the first time by myself. I had Dewey. I'm trying to take care of this dog, take care of myself. I'm still getting drunk a lot, still dating a lot. And I felt like my life kind of find. finally started to, and I was having fun. I was really, I was enjoying myself. That was probably

like the darkest time. Again, I got DUIs here and there. Like, I always have problems with, like, alcohol and breaking the law. And then I just feel like towards the end of my 20s, my life, like, fell into place. You know, I started doing stand-up at 29. I started making money. I, I found a fitness thing that I liked. I got my body in the best place it had ever been right when I was like 29, 28, 30. And everything just kind of fell into place for me. And I kind of look at it as this like really pivotal time, which I think a lot of people have that experience. Like you really just like figure it out all throughout your 20s. It takes a long time. And then hopefully by the time you're 30 and doesn't have to be like that either. You know, everybody's on

their own path. That was my, that was kind of my path. I attribute, and it's weird. It sounds kind of cheesy, but I attribute a lot of it to like finding this like fitness thing that I really got into. I started doing flywheel and taking classes and like felt so much. much more confident in my skin. I never really got into that before I would run and stuff like that. But I like found this thing where I was able to like kind of transform my body and how I felt. And I like never looked back. I like literally kind of think of my life as like before that point after.

So I recommend that to people too. Like health is big to me. How you feel about yourself is big. So find those things that they make you feel good and look good if that's important to you. Yeah. I think that everybody, I like that you talk about, you know, feeling that you had like reached this pinnacle. I think that like, first of all, that can happen a bunch of different times in your life. Like, it can happen at 25 and 28 and 30.

And at each time you can feel like I've checked in the boxes that I want to check right now. This is it. I'm on the precipice of like the thing I'm supposed to be. And I think people put a lot of pressure on themselves to like figure out what they want to do in terms of like their relationship for their job at 23. And it's like I've had five metamorphosis since then, you know, of this is the right relationship. No, this is the right one.

No, this is the right job. This is the thing that's going to make me happy. Like at 27, I was like working at Groupon. I was crushing it. I was engaged to somebody who I was in love with. And that was it. I had accomplished. I was there.

You know, I was making $100,000 a year. I was like, this is the most amount of money I could ever imagine making. I'm happy. I'm fulfilled. Got a man. I had a ring.

Yeah. I mean, I had all the things. And like, I look back at it now. And I mean, I loved working group on. It was great.

But like, I had no hobbies or interest. I'd never traveled anywhere. I probably was with somebody that I shouldn't have been with who I wasn't super fulfilled by. and so like I thought I had hit this precipice and that it all came crashing down. I've talked in another episode about four years before that when I had this incredible job. I was managing this restaurant.

I was living with my boyfriend and I got fired from that job and my boyfriend cheating on me the same week. So like there's been a couple times in my life where I'm like, I have it all. And then you just lose it all and like you just dig back out of it. But I think that like there can be a lot of recreations of your life and reincarnations of who you are. And I mean, after 27, I mean, you know this, but like I've traveled the world. I don't talk about it on the podcast a lot,

but I've been to every country that I could ever hope to go to, and I have a list of them in my phone where I want to keep going to. But I've traveled the world. I went to culinary school. I taught myself all these different skills and hobbies, and I've had relationships with great men, not great men, and I've made friendships. I started this food blog.

I learned how to photograph. And I just think that, like, you're never a finished product. It's like fashion. It's always going to keep evolving. Yeah. And you can keep changing. So, like, maybe you feel like at 27, your life is shit, or it's amazing.

it could always change. Right. But like throughout my 20s, I always, I've always drank a lot. I've always been like a big drinker. Yeah. Never like any problems.

I was in serious relationships my entire 20s. Yeah. Back to back. Yeah. Like that's like a difference between us for sure. Like I, again,

had this on and off again thing with this guy. I think I always knew deep down he wasn't the one. And I finally had to tell him that. He kind of like confessed his love to probably when I was like 20, we were like 28 and I was like, I just don't see the future with you. But other than that, I just, I slept around a lot less than I did in my, in college. College was the sluggiest time of my entire life.

Like those four years were just nothing compared. So I wasn't really getting after like that in my 20s when I was in Atlanta. I would date guys for like three months at a time. You know, I would date a lot, going a lot of dates. I had this guy always in the back of my head. I had another guy I've talked about that like ended up cheating in me. I went to his wedding. that was kind of a short-lived thing, but I felt like that was love.

Looking back, I don't think that it was. And then my most serious relationship where I was really in love and that was pretty long-term for me was, I mean, I met him like at 30. And we dated for a year and then another year, like off and on. And then like I moved to New York. So that's that too. You know, I feel like I didn't really find that person until 30 years old, you know. So if you feel like I'm 20 in my 20s and I feel like I really haven't been in love and I don't

understand this feeling like that's fine. You know, it happens. I mean, and again, I'd said, I love you to my high school boyfriend. I said I love you. You're not a dear like a society. It wasn't like you know, when you know, you know, you know. Yeah, of course. And I think that that's a good point.

Like if you're 29, you've never had a really serious relationship. Like that's not something to be hard on yourself about. And like I, just like you said, like I wouldn't change any of the experiences I had because I'm proud of who we are today and this show and everything we've built and everything I've done has taken me to this. My 20s were just different. Like I definitely slept around in between my relationships. But like, yeah, I moved to New York.

I immediately had a boyfriend. I had a boyfriend right after that. I lived with. We broke up. I started dating somebody else three months later. That was my fiance. We were together for four years. And then I met my, I dated somebody else for a while and then my DCX.

So all of my 20s were relationships. Yeah. But I think that, like, I never used dating apps. I don't remember ever feeling the type of pressure I do today where, like, there's so much competition out there. There's so much you're competing against and all this, like, behavior of, like, ghosting and men being, like, shitty to you. I do feel like it's gotten worse. Like, I know. I agree.

I don't want to be like, it's all bad because it's not. Love is still out there. There's plenty of people that we know have beautiful relationships. But I do want to validate the fact that, like, I do think. think it's a lot harder today than it was seven, eight years ago? A hundred percent. Yeah. And I think we'll, like, transition in a minute about like what advice we would give, I guess, because I have some, some thoughts on that too. But one thing that I feel like is also very different between us and us in our mid-20s at 27 or whatever is like the money.

Like, so I never had money. Like you, I have a couple friends like you. You were making six figures at 27. That's crazy. You know, it's a lot of money. And even, you know, you've always hustled and you've always worked and things like that. But I did not have any sort of like savings account, money in the bank, not living paycheck to paycheck until 29. Or, you know, like I just, I chose this path of like freelance writing, making it on my own before that. I just had like really low paying jobs and like boutique PR and working in a magazine and all this shit. So I was always the broke friend. Like I was always like paycheck to paycheck, racking up credit card debt. I, you know, would go on the trips. I never skipped like a bachelorette or a wedding, but I was always like,

you know, I was never picking up tabs. I think people knew that I just didn't make as much as them. And now I make probably more than a lot of my friends. You know, like, and now I just love to pay for people and go on the trips and pick up the tabs. I pay for dinner all the time. My friends just keep being like, okay, like, because I didn't get to do it. And it wasn't because I was cheap. Like, it wasn't because I like, it was just because I like literally didn't have the money. And I always spent outside my means. My mom told me so many times throughout my 20s, you live outside your means, you live outside your means. And I'm like, okay, whatever. I'll figure it out. I'm on a path. I'm not working at like an insurance company

where I know what I'm going to make for the next 10 years. I'm on a path. I can feel it. I'm going to be okay. And I was. I was like one of, I was like the friend with no money for most of my 20s. I'm glad that you brought up attitude towards money. I never thought about this in relation to the episode. And I'm glad that you did. And I wasn't so crazy. Like I was not buying designer bags. But I just wouldn't. I just wouldn't. I just wouldn't. I just wouldn't. I just wouldn't. I skip a dinner. You know, like, I didn't skip an experience. My whole life I've been so social. My drinking behavior is social. Like, my life is like social, social, social. Can't miss out. Like, the time, I remember going to Miami and a bachelor. And I could, I would have to like find

another credit card to pay for this trip. Like, I would have to open something new. Like, I remember getting like a tab at this rooftop at the, at the Gans of Ward in Miami. Now it's the one of like, these pictures were $70 of these drinks that we've been drinking all afternoon. I was like, almost started to cry. Because I was like, I don't have it. I was 27 years old. you're out here making $100,000. Well, that was only for like two years that I made that kind of money or two or three years. Like I had not a, you know, I've always worked. You know, I've always, I mean, so have you.

I mean, you and I never, our parents were giving us handouts. Like, I've always worked my ass off. And like, I love money and it's always something that I've really, I worked harder at my job always than I worked at school. And like when I, like, I've always been like a really serious hustler. Like even when like my first job in New York, like my friend Melanie and I met there and she always jokes. Like, I was the person that closed the restaurant every single night.

I was the person that was like, give me every single table. I will be here all night. I will wait on every single table. You all can go the fuck home. Like, I will be here getting these tips. And so, yeah, I've always had money because I've always worked harder than everybody. I went to work for a startup that was acquired by Groupon, but like it really was just a couple of us for years. And like I worked nights and weekends.

I worked my ass off. I've always worked really hard. I've always really liked money. But I've never been, I mean, you know how I shop. I don't really care that much about like designer stuff and expensive meals. And, yeah, I've never. never been the friend with no money, but I never had like a ton. I mean, $100,000 is a lot of money, but in New York, that's true. It's not as much. I mean, it's also, I mean, the tax rate here is like

50%. So it's not like I was rolling in the dough. But yeah, I mean, after I left Amazon, I was doing food blogging and then I made no money. And I remember I was talking to my sister a lot about this two days ago because when she was getting married, I remember like thinking like, nobody was mentioning like planning a bachelor at party. And I kept thinking like, well, I'm not going to mention it. because if nobody mentions it, I don't have to go. I genuinely couldn't afford it. And, like, that was a huge lifestyle change in my late 20s when I was like, oh, I don't have any money anymore.

Right. This is crazy to go backwards. Yes. I had a friend like that. She worked in advertising and she made six figures, probably like 23, 24, bought a condo, bought a car, and then just like kind of took a different path. And I'd like send her money one time.

We joke about all the time. Now she's killing it. We're both killing it. I was like, remember when you had to send me $100? And this is like before Venmo. I had to send her a check. And I had no money. I was like, bitch, why are you asking me?

She's like, you're the old person I know that I could ask. I'm like, but I don't make any money either. Like, and it's fun to joke back and look back because I would, I would be that person that would like pray that someone would pick up drinks for me because I just didn't, it wasn't because I'm cheap. It's just I didn't have it. And like you realize when you have money, if you're generous or not. And I feel like I am very generous.

I think you are too. I enjoy it. I do too. And it's nice to be at a point in our lives, whatever. I know we'll talk about our 20s. But I'm like, I threw a Super Bowl party and a New Year's Eve party. and you were there. I spare no expenses. I decorate the apartment. I stock the bar. I get food. I make sure that people are taking care of. And it's nice to be able to do that. It took me a really fucking long time. So if you can't figure it out in your 20s, you're fucking broke, that's fine. So is everybody else. And like everybody that like I thought was like crushing it and making a ton of money like was also struggling and just fronting. Right. You know? And it just depends on the path you take. Because there are, I mean, it's like my college friends and people I knew chose a more traditional path. So they were making like an adult salary at 23, you know, when we're at And, you know, I just was not.

And people in the creative field are just not, you know, for a real long time. But, I mean, we'll get into this more in the career thing. But as far as advice goes, I mean, we've said it before. We've said it on our podcast, other podcasts. Like, just keep moving forward. Like, this doesn't have to be like it. And every day you do something, but like keep moving forward. Like, just don't stay in a situation that you hate.

Like, whether it's that you pick up. This, we talked about this probably first episode of the year. First episode of the year, both past year. So first episode of 2019, first episode of 20, first episode of 2020. We can't give out this advice enough. So I think we've really covered it when it comes to that. But as far as advice, like, I wouldn't change anything. Like, you'd have to learn these lessons. Like, yeah, maybe I wish some people would have said some things to me. Like, of course, I wish I didn't get three DUIs or, you know, two and a half. I didn't get three to you. I think I've actually

technically had two. It's more shocking to say three. Yeah. Yeah, that sucked. I don't really, it's just like a huge mistake. It was a huge thing. It took a huge toll on my like mental health, my parents had to help me with the money part of it. Like it fucking sucked. Like I don't think it's happening as much today. We have Uber. We didn't have Uber back then. But like the drinking, I just want people to, I drank too much.

I mean, nothing that terrible happened. Luckily, nobody ever got hurt. And, you know, I made it out and I'm here today to tell the story. But like, you just don't have to drink that much. Like I can't tell people not to do what I did. But if there's any advice to younger girls, it's like you don't, Just don't get blackout drunk. Times are scarier.

Like, it's more dangerous. There's no need to do it. Like, learn to love yourself when you're not blackout drunk. Like, and that's coming from somebody that we would just decide to get blackout before we went out. It's a crazy mindset we used to have. Yes. And I'm, I was like that and probably so was everybody. I mean, you're a little harder on yourself because you got the DUIs.

But like, I should have been caught a hundred times doing things that like were so unbelievably reckless. Yeah. It's just that you got caught, you know? I just, I, I drank too much, I drank every single night. I, like, really got too far to Coke. And, like, it was never, like, a horrible problem. But I remember, like, one night we went to, like, a pretty sketchy, terrible neighborhood at 4 o'clock in the morning to go get drugs.

And I was, like, this is a problem. And I'm thankful for myself that, like, I wasn't so far down a path that I, like, couldn't reel it back in. Like, I'm not going to compare, like, me doing a little bit too much drugs to people that actually have a drug problem because it never crossed that line. Yeah. But, like, yeah, I definitely got to a point. my life where I was like, this is egregious. You're doing too much of this. This is ridiculous.

And it's more than just a hobby at this point, you know? And I'm glad that I just recognized it. And I stopped. And I just didn't, I don't need all those things. Like, you're with me when I'm sober. I don't need all these substances to be like cool and fun. I like partying. It's great. But maybe I would have like partied a little less. But I've, yeah. I mean, to me also like, it's, I can sit here today in the best place I could ever imagine. I can't imagine my life any better. it's perfect. I'm so happy. I can't, I, it just, but it took a long time to get here, but like, I don't know. I think alcohol and alcohol use and drug use can, like, really not let you reach your full

potential. I think, like, if you are feeling like you're not really reaching your full potential, like, just assess how much you're drinking. And when I was in my 20s, and I would, I felt really low a lot. And I would call my mom and she'd be, tell me over and over, like, you're drinking too much. Alcohol is a depressant. And I was like, whatever, mom, no, it's not. Because I refuse to stop drinking because I'd had it ingrained in my head that drinking was like so valuable to me and who I was as a person. And I realize it now because my hangovers are like the worst. I feel depressed.

I'm not even depressed. That's when I start to feel like those low lows. And it just we see so many people. We have so many friends and like our most successful friends. They barely drink or they don't drink at all because you start to realize that you're clear, you're sharper, you're achieving more. Your body looks better. Your skin looks better.

Your hair looks better. You're just better to be around. when you're not drunk or hungover. I mean, you, live your truth. But, like, you, if you really want our advice, it's, if you're drinking a ton, you can drink less. I agree. I read Sarah Silverman's book.

She's one of my, like, one of my old idols and in comedy and just in general how she lives her life. And she talks about smoking weed, but it's applicable to alcohol. And she says that, like, she doesn't do all the time. She always says, like, make it a treat. And, like, I am trying to live my life more like that today. We're like, I'm just tried to weed out alcohol. want to make it a treat. And like instead of, like you said, you need to black out before I

walk out the door and then go to another night where I am blacking out all night long at a bar. I take home, God knows who. And I wake up the next morning and I, I'm not proud of decisions I've made. I'm not saying today. I'm saying 25. I did that. But yeah, I mean, I couldn't, I don't have anything else to say other than that. I totally echo what you said. And you just take a day off. Right. And it's like, again, like I, this borderline is on hypocritical because of the way I used to live my life, but like we see girls come to the shows that are blacked out and they like don't remember the shows. And Heather McMahon talks about this too, where girls are like, I don't remember the show. And it's like, what was the point of that? Like, you're throwing up in the

bathroom at the show that you spent money on to see and you, like, we hate it. We hate it for us because people are drunk and obnoxious, but for you. Like, why? Why? Like, sometimes people will tag us and stuff and they're like, can't wait to black out. And I'm like, do you realize what you're saying? I'm sorry, I'm giving you guys a mom talk right now. If you're like young 20s and you're listening to this, I'm going to like really tough love you right now. Don't say that. Like I can't wait to drink so much that I forget who I am and what I'm doing.

Bitch, why? Well, you're better than that. Our shows are great and they're fun, but any show is great. And I hate that anybody would spend money on something that they don't remember. And I think that like this is framed in the context of like, here's the advice I would have given myself. I'm not saying I didn't do it.

And we care. Yeah. I'm not saying that I didn't do it or that you didn't do it. I was, I remember in college we were like so proud that we were on a streak where we had drank like every day. Same. Crushed it. Like a hundred days in a row. We had like a tally. Katie and I were just like so proud of ourselves. Like I mean, I'm not saying like whatever. Live your life. Have fun. Fuck dudes. Get drunk. Do drugs. Do whatever you want. But like if somebody said to me like what advice would you give yourself. Yeah. Drink class. Yeah. I would I would make better decisions. I mean, I have not made a lot of decisions in my life where I've slept with somebody. I've woken up the next morning and I've been like truly upset to the point that I would. I wouldn't have slept with them had I not been drunk.

Like I've almost never slept with anybody in that I can remember that I wouldn't have slept with sober. Like, thank God. But like, yeah, I made decisions I'm not proud about my number of the number of people have had sex with is much higher because of the drinking. And I mean, what was the point of that? You and I have, you and I have gotten lucky, you know, like I put myself in some really dangerous situations. I feel like I went to a really safe college. And I feel like I also am, you know, I have a bigger purpose. I don't think I'm such a target.

I mean, I would make jokes about that in my comedy that, like, I'm not really the kind of guy, the kind of girl that you're just going to try to attack because I'm the size of a guy. But like I, you put yourself at risk too. And it's just things that I just feel like it's not, this, the world is not as safe as it used to be. And I just think if you're drinking a ton, you can always afford to drink a little bit less. And that's what my mom told me. And I didn't listen. So I don't expect you to listen to me.

But like, it's just blacking out isn't cool. And that comes from. somebody that's blocked out a lot. Yeah, and I think the world's a different place. You know, I think that by the grace of God, I'm okay. And I didn't get any DUIs and I was ever raped in a fraternity basement because, like, I put myself in some very bad situations. I mean, a lot of it is drug-related, like, where I would go to, like, buy drugs and stuff like that. But, like, it's, it all seems like it's in good fun, but it's not good. I remember, like, go to, like, random apartments in Brooklyn to get drugs. Like, you shouldn't be doing stuff like this.

I know. Yeah. Whatever. It should be, like, a TED time. about all the things you shouldn't do that I did. But like, I'm glad that I'm okay. That's probably what I would do different. I don't need to go to Bushwick to buy Coke at 2 o'clock in the morning. Right. Yeah. And it's just like I would,

my mom would get so frustrated because she's always felt like she can't parent me and manage me. Like she's like, you've always like blazed your own trail. And like we just care that you're like, you know, keeping yourself alive. But she would, like, bad stuff would happen all the time.

I have the amount of like shit that I've lost, the amount of phones I've lost, the amount of like cameras back in the day. I woke up in a bush, bloody, covered in my own puke and Dewey Beach. Like, it was crazy. I had no phone. I lost my fake ID, which was the most important thing on my person. Like, I just, so much bad stuff, again, not rape and nothing like where I really was hurt.

I had fat lip. But, I mean, from when I woke up in that bush, but like, I, just bad stuff would happen all the time and I would just keep doing it. It is stuff of folklore in my family, the amount of phones and cameras. I've lost the cameras. Yeah. The amount of Olympus cameras, my mom is. me so pissed. Yes. It was just like purses and fucking shoes and just, oh my God. But I will say

the thing that I am really proud of in my 20s is that I did, every job was better than the last. I made more money at the next job than I did from the previous one. I did build on my skill set and take calculated risks for the very next thing. And I am proud of that. I have never been the kind of person that has complained and complain and complain about my station in life, whether it is money, a relationship, a job where I live. and not changed it tomorrow. And I've never been that kind of person. And I think it's, I have a very good friend of mine who's like,

he's complaining about his relationship for 10 years and his job for 10 years. And he's still in both of them. Right. So I, no sympathy. I've never been that kind of person. I think that like that's, if I give somebody else advice, like, just keep building on your skill set and your relationships. And like the next one will always be better.

Right. Well, don't settle. Yeah. For anything. Yeah. I do want to talk about relationships. Yeah, obviously. Are we a dating podcast?

When I was in my 20s and everybody in their 20s, relationships and boys just can dictate your entire life. They dictate how you feel about yourself, whether you want to leave the house. You know, like they just contribute way too much to your overall, like happiness and well-being, I think. And I have feel like even today, you know, in our 30s, we, you know, we catch ourselves, getting too bummed out over a guy or things like that. And you can't turn your feelings off. We all feelings. We're all human.

That's going to happen. But definitely the advice that I would give to anybody based on how I was back then is how I am now. And it's just to not let your life revolve around guys and like prioritize your friends and your family and your job and your hobbies and all these type of things. And like just really live your life and let guys come and go and not and be open to love and be open to serious relationships. and marriage and all this type of things, that's what you want.

But, like, I think about how I was in my 20s and I was just like, I just would always, I wanted a boyfriend so bad at that times. And so I would, like, go in like a couple dates with a guy and just, like, start setting all these, like, expectations and stuff in my head. And I think that the advice that I give to women of any age is, like, really have to, like, release that kind of stuff because people, you cannot control other people. You can't control their feelings for you. You can't control how they act.

And I think the problem that I would get into was like, okay, well, we've gone on these States, and I want to see him like this Wednesday. And so he needs to ask me out because this and this and this, I put all these expectations surrounding it and then it wouldn't happen. And then I would freak out and then I would act passive aggressive or whatever. And now I just live my life way more of what's meant to be, will be. If this guy likes me, he'll want to see me. I can't control how somebody feels. And if it's going to work out, it's just going to work out. That's not to say sit back and never be proactive and never tell someone you want to see them or ask them to hang out or call them or text them or whatever. It's not this like,

women sitting back, like needing to be chased. But I think that you just live your life, be honest with somebody, show a guy you like him when you do, say things like, I'd love to hang out again and things like that. And like, let it just happen. Because it's just releasing that need to control and that need to have something to work out the exact way that you're picturing in your mind because it never will. I think that the idea of being like proactive in your love life is interesting. I think that throughout my 20s

I was reactive in my love life I was not proactive and so like I let men dictate everything so I'm like whether he was gonna ask me out whether he was gonna text me if I was dating somebody that drank a lot I drank a lot if I dated somebody that didn't drink a lot I didn't drink a lot I think that I just I let them dictate so many things in my life

there was so many nights where I thought a guy like might text me so I sat at home all night long and I would set all these like boundaries for myself like by nine o'clock if he doesn't text me back like I'll take off my makeup and I can like you know relax at home and I just, I didn't take like a really proactive role in my life. I didn't say to people like, well, I'm going to be here if you want to come. I would say, like, I'm at home all night, not doing anything.

Let me know if I can be included in your plans. Right. I asked for what I wanted much less. And I think that you just, I mean, as an adult, you just grow up and you learn how to defend yourself better. Yeah. And the relationship I had with the guy that I lived at the first boyfriend in New York that I was with for a couple years was tremendously emotionally abusive.

And I felt like I couldn't make any decisions on my own. I felt like he, I mean, he cheated on me constantly. and then he would make me feel really small and stupid for those things and really gaslight me. And I had no idea how to look at this person and just be like, this is bullshit. This is bullshit. And you don't get to treat me like this. And I think that's probably why a lot of older men like 22-year-old girls. Because a lot of them, I was 22.

And I had no idea how to, number one, define the behavior or number two, defend myself against it. Right. I mean, other than the fact that their bodies are better than mine, I think that's why men like younger women, because they haven't necessarily learned how to defend and be proactive against that behavior. So I think just like you, I would just live my life a little more if I could give myself that advice and not value relationships so highly because like I was crushing it in all these other aspects of my life. But it didn't matter to me because I just wanted like that love and that validation from somebody. As soon as my fiancee laughed me, I was like, okay, that's it. Got to get another relationship.

Yeah. I got to get another one. I slept with somebody three weeks later. Right. I slept with the last guy who I'd gone on a date with the same week that I met my fiance. say. I slept with that guy and I tried to make that guy my boyfriend immediately. I just was like, I need this for validation. I have to have it. Yeah. And I was willing to accept a lot of things in order to get that boyfriend. Right. And I just, you know, as you grow up, you get better. And men get

better as you grow up too. We talk a lot in the podcast about like, once a cheater, always a cheater, once a gas letter, always a gas letter. I think men just grow up. Hopefully it'll get, yeah, hopefully it gets better. I mean, that's not to say that men in their 30s and 40s are not terrible little men children. But like, I think it's just, I love that you, like, like said all that. We've had a little bit different experiences where you really kind of like wanted a boyfriend back to back and things like that. And I've been single like a lot more. But just the amount that I would stress myself out over something that I couldn't control is the behavior that like I want people to try to work on within the selves. It just is that like,

relax. If a guy likes you, he will make an effort to see you. I can't stress it enough. Like it, if you've made it clear that you're interested, then you have to kind of release it, I think. Make other plans, do those things. I think it's just a matter of like relax. because I'm such a control freak. And so even just, even I catch myself sometimes doing it now, you know? And like, you get that message from a guy and you wanted to see him and he hits you with like, oh, well, I'm not feeling well or, oh, I have this other thing. And you immediately feel that like sense of rejection.

And it's not. And if he is lying and he has another date, okay, what are you going to do? Go hunt him down. There's nothing you can do. Make other plans. Like it was that sense of like, well, what is he doing? What is it? It's like, who cares? Like, you can't, and this isn't to say it'd be a pushover in a relationship.

I'm talking more about, like, at the beginning stages and things like that. And just like knowing what's meant to be, will be, if it's meant to work out, it will. It just will. If two people like each other, they will see each other and they will get into a relationship with each other and they will figure it out. And if a guy doesn't like you because he likes someone else more, there's nothing you can do. There's nothing you can do. And I'm saying this is like, I am screaming this at my 20-something self. Like, the way I used to act was crazy. Well, me too.

guys away and they would meet me and I think they think I was cool and then I would just start to get too clingy, needy, passive aggressive, wanting to take it to the next level way too soon, you know, because you're just desperate for this relationship and I, looking back, know that it was such unattractive behavior. Like if I just could relax a little, just told myself the universal work it out if it's supposed to work out, it would have been, I would have fared better. Well, the passive aggressiveness and the desire that like sick, obsessive, can't get out of had a desire to take it to the next level. I think that, I mean, personally, that's what I've taken from this podcast,

is learning how to chill the fuck out a little bit also. But like, exactly, chill the fuck out. Those are the words. Yeah, I mean, I couldn't ever just chill the fuck out. I was passive aggressive in a way that like, I was like, well, I'm going to just show him how he's making me feel. But it's like, I can read those text messages again and like in that tone of voice. I know how it sounded to a man.

And I think that if I could just relax and like things aren't as personal as they seem, or maybe they're super personal and you just walk away from the person. Right. You know, like not everybody is treating you the way you should be treated and you should walk away from that when they show you who they are. And I think instead I was like, challenge accepted. I'll change them. Yeah. You know, and I would totally change that today. Right. It takes a long time to get there. It takes a lot of confidence to get there. Yeah. And simultaneously, and we'll talk about this with an upcoming episode with Matthew Hussey, which is coming soon. It's like just developing that inner confidence that you can tell somebody how you're feeling without being passive aggressive and making snide, hinty comments and things like that. Like it's instead of berating them with these snide remarks all night, you say, hey, I was looking forward to hanging out. And, you know, like, it's being able to say what you want and then know that the rest is going to work out the way it's supposed to, I think.

And I think it releases so much stress and tension. And it's just, it's just, it comes with practice and maturity and all of that. Well, we can't say it enough. Like, build a life you're proud of and everything else will fall into place. And I didn't start doing that in my early 20s. I tried to build a husband that I was proud of. Yeah. I don't know that that was the right decision because I wasn't that dynamic when like

when I got to my end of my 20s. Like I just had no hobbies or interest and I'd never been anywhere. Right. And that's the thing. Like if you, that's, I used to feel like that when I before I really went on my own and I was just like working at this job in PR. I just was like, well, I probably will like want to definitely get married by 30. So I need to probably meet somebody by 27, 28, you know, and I had these timelines

in my head. So I was just obsessed with like, I got to find. a boyfriend. Like I got to, and so men, they have that. They have, that is their sixth sense is picking up on that. At any age, men, their daddy's taught them that at six. They can feel that desperation. So 100%.

If you find yourself like obsessing over men boys too and like got to get a boyfriend, it got to hit this mark back off, put men on the back burner and pick up a hobby, take a trip, do something different. Anything else? because you were not doing yourself any favors. I mean, I can't stress this enough. Men can smell it. Yeah.

They can see it from a mile away. Their friends can see it. Everybody can see it. Everybody can see it. I mean, I wish I could tell me at 20 to chill the fuck out too because I certainly did it. Well, you would, you, um, you've said before, like, we've all been here. We've all been here sitting on the couch, telling yourself, okay, if he doesn't call by this time or if he doesn't text by this time, you like do your makeup, you sit there

and wait. And it's just, I hate it. I hate it so much. It makes me sick to think that you or I or any woman could be doing that. Yeah, I hate it. And I think that like the solution is not like just pray a little harder that you might text you. The solution is like you have your makeup on call a friend and go out. And if it was important, if somebody has made quasi plans with you, that's not a plan. Maybe I'll hit you up later. I'll see where you're at let's stay in touch. Not a fucking plan. And 95% of let's stay in touch means they're not going to stay in touch and they'll hit you at 10.30 at night to see if you want to have sex. You have your makeup on go out. And the only way to turn it around. which let's just, I'm going to say that that probably isn't a great guy. But whatever, you know, he could just have a couple of girls in mix. Might not be a bad dude.

Might, you know, whatever it is. But the one thing you can do to turn around is to be unavailable. 100%. The only thing in this case of this guy that is being inconsistent and doing these frustrating things is you be unavailable. 100%. This guy, I mean, when was I dating him? Dating him's a loose term.

We went out twice. He was, he wanted to like stay in touch. it was maybe 5.30, I'd heard from him by 7.30. I went out and met Remy or Fred Remy. And at 9.30, he hit me up. He was like, oh, I might be like leaving Brooklyn soon. And I was like, well, I'm out. I'm out and I'm tired. I'm going home in a half an hour. And like, I don't think you need to sound like mad. Like, we always jokes that like no worries means you should worry. I still say it. I can't help myself. We're not perfect human beings. Okay. But I've learned to put an exclamation point at least after no worries. I don't. Fuck you.

No worries means worry. But yeah, I was proud of my behavior that night. It sounds like such a little thing, but it was like, yeah, you told me like maybe we would meet up. And then I went and lived my life because you can try to meet up with me, but like I'm not going to be at home. Right. If there's any like extraneous things, highly recommend a dog in your 20s. I feel like it made me, again, not for everybody. I got Dewey at 24.

I don't know. Early 20s. I felt like it made me more responsible, kept me coming home. I would just stay out. I would spend the night of friend's house. I would be out. I would be drinking all night long.

Like it kept me a little more grounded. And it just made me more responsible. I didn't have any money, but I at least had to like allocate some money to him. And I think it was so great to have a companion. I mean, the thought, like, when I got like the final DUI, it was the darkest time of my life. It was the only time of my life I ever felt like I wanted to kill myself.

I felt worthless. I couldn't believe I had to call my parents. and like I couldn't believe it. When I got him from jail, I couldn't believe it. And like I just laid in bed with Dewey and cried and cuddled with him for hours. And I was like, I cannot imagine my life without this animal. And again, brought that on myself. I can't stress it enough.

That was something I did to myself. Huge mistake. But those times and like the breakups and all these things of like having this companion is just like, everybody doesn't need it. I can't imagine my life without it. And, you know, I think it helps you with a lot of different things. Also, it inhibits you from some things too. I couldn't just pick up and travel and I had to find sitters for him.

He's a big dog too. If you want to get a smaller dog, you can bring everywhere. I recommend that as well. If I get another dog after Dewey, it would be a dog that I could fly with and things like that. But that was a game changer for me. My parents, even though they were like, you don't have any money, what are you doing? I think we're like at least she's going to be like more responsible. She's something to care for.

Oh, I just think adding anything to your life that makes it more dynamic and giving yourself more responsibilities. and I actually never did this, but I wish I had. There's so many group travel things that you can do in your 20s that, you know, a lot of the travel, especially around Europe or even in Israel and places like that, is done on a bus and you stay in hostels. And, you know, when you're earlier in your 20, I mean, now I'm not going to stay in hostels. I'm not going to travel on a bus with 30 people.

But I think throughout my 20s, I really wish I would have done more of that. And there's so many group tours that you can take that are not that much money. And you don't care that you're not staying in the nicest accommodations because you just meet so many people. Yes, you meet these people. Yes, you meet these people that are in the same boat as you. And I just, I would have done more of that. And I mean, I can research like what those are called, like,

because I know that nothing is coming to me, coming to mind this moment. But I know there's just a lot of those kind of things. And like, what better way to see the world, meet people, not spend a ton of money and inject some dynamic stuff into your life than that kind of stuff. Any kind of like meetup group, whether it's like a book club or a cooking class. I mean, anything that you can do. I just like I got, I mean, we said this, but I've got halfway through my 20s and I was like, I'm not interesting.

Not interesting and I've never done anything. Wow, yeah. There's a thing. There's like Dale Moss, he was doing something. He was there for the new year. I think he was like in Costa Rica. It was like a fitness based thing. But like those, it was, that's for fitness type people.

Like they want to do that team building stuff. You guys know I love fitness. I'm not, I'm not taking vacations like that. That's not a vacation to me. But like if you're into that, like people go in those trips and they make their forever friends. Oh, you're so right. Whoa. Do we?

Anything. We'll leave it in. People want to hear them talk. I think anything you can do, I like that you said exercise. Anything you can do it is a group thing. So whether it's music based, go to Burning Man. Like whether it's exercise based, I have tons of friends to go on yoga retreats. I have a girlfriend that went to Puerto Rico and did like a four day on the beach, all immersive,

no drinking, all exercising thing. And yes, that's probably a little more cost prohibitive. But like anything you could do in groups to expand your circle, whether it's Burning Man or yoga retreat, whatever it is. Like just do those things. I never did those things. And I don't feel like they were as available to me either. I don't know that like it was in my face that you could do this stuff.

Right. If you're into church and shit, I think it's called a small group. Get in on that. But like I, yeah, like I also, I mean the fitness stuff again, it's not for everybody to but it changed my life. And everything's so much more accessible. Like, like class pass, daily harvest. Like to like take better care of yourselves, you just feel and look better.

It's so much easier than it was for us in our 20s. Oh my God. Like, what did we eat? We just ate like fast food. Like there was no daily harvest in our 20s. Like what did, what was it? I'm acting like it was so long ago. There was smoothies in our 20s.

But like, there have been smoothies for 200 years. I know. I'm kidding. But like, I remember I was probably maybe like 27 and I use like the first like blue apron or like all these things of like if you, it's so much easier to cook. It's so much easier to go find yoga class wherever you want. Like these, it's just everything. The world has gotten harder.

in some ways. And Instagram has changed everything that people compare themselves and there's there was more anxiety surrounding it. TikTok, all these things you see people doing so without you. The FOMO has increased so much. But we also have access to so much other cool shit. So you can become a much more dynamic person easily, more easily than you could before, I think. Yeah. I like that. I like that as a way to maybe wrap it up. Yeah. Lifestyle, money, relationships. We'll do careers on another episode. Live your truth, ladies. Stop blocking out. Go to Burning Man. Don't go on our shows. Go to Bushwick, but not for Coke at 2 a.m.

Move to New York or wherever. Right. All right, guys. You want to take us out? Yeah, thanks for tuning in to another bonus episode. All the things are the same. GirlsGuddypacust.com or I literally don't care shows.com for our shows. Girls'Guddy podcast and Instagram, Ash Hess, reina.

com, dot Greenberg. Go check out our billboard tonight and tomorrow. If you're listening on the 13th, tomorrow, Valentine's Day is the very last day. And we hope you guys have a great Valentine's Day. you on Monday. Have a good week, guys. Bye.