Girls Gotta Eat - Date By Your Own Rules feat. Comedian Giulio Gallarotti

Episode Date: November 30, 2020

We have comedian/hilarious storyteller/great boyfriend Giulio Gallarotti join us and open up about his relationship and why it works, including his girlfriend setting the pace from the start, keeping their own independence, and how they communicate when they're apart. We're also discussing staying friends with exes and Giulio shares an insane story about trying to get an ex back. He also manalyzes bush vs. no bush and guys' disappointing responses to nudes, and we chat about getting off/not getting off during oral sex. Plus, we review The Queen's Gambit, Ashley recaps her latest date, and Rayna has a confession. Hope you enjoy! Follow Giulio on Instagram @NotJulio and check out Oops the Podcast. Follow us @GirlsGottaEatPodcast, Ashley @AshHess, and Rayna @Rayna.Greenberg. Check our website for show dates and merchandise. Thank you to our partners this week: Rory: Try out your personalized treatment for just $5 at hellorory.com/gge. Ritual: Get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/gge. Helix: Helix is offering up to $200 off all mattress orders at helixsleep.com/gge. Function of Beauty: Go to functionofbeauty.com/gge to take your hair profile quiz and save 20% on your first haircare order. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And I slid in the DMs doing like the surfer guy, like sliding in the DMs. Like that emoji? Yes. Julie, I was trying to say why you were single and you're 20. No. Back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome back. Cyber Monday.

Why are we recording after dark again? Josh said to wait you out. Who is cybering today? I cybered all weekend. Remember when cyber sex was awarded? word. Cyber sex. Well,

that's a throwback. Half the people on this podcast are have no idea. What is that? I don't get it. I don't understand. It just meant, like computer sex.

Like just. Chatroom sex. Yeah. And like, I mean, when could you start video? Like you maybe you'd send like a dirty picture. Yeah.

I just, I just like, you'd meet somebody in like a chat room and like, yeah. Take it offline. It was like sexting before cell phones. I did. I cyber sexed in chat rooms. 65 years old. Wow. Do you remember the first days of the internet?

Okay, boomers. We have a few announcements. We're going to make them quick. Guys, get... Because Ashley said I had to make them quick. You just drone on about the merch forever. You're like, okay, and what else can I say? All sales are final. Okay, now let's talk about deadlines. You guys, here, let's talk about... Okay, I'll do mine first.

Guys, get tickets to our virtual... holiday live show on December 13th. Oh my gosh. Things are getting nailed down in terms of what to expect. We stacked a lineup. Yes. We're pretty much done playing at this point. I'm not going to give anything away. Ashley doesn't even tell me what's happening. Yeah. So I mean, it's going to open strong. So make sure you're in your seats ready for whatever you hit play. But yeah, this is virtual holiday live show December 13th. You guys can get tickets at Girls Got Eapodcast.com. Just go to live shows. and we've decided that you will be able to watch the show up until a week after. Because we know it's a Sunday, it's a school night for some of you,

and that might not be the night that you want to just get lit and watch the show. Maybe you just don't feel like making a charcutry board that day, whatever it is. So you can watch it the following week up until end of day, Saturday, December 19th. So you have to buy the show in advance. So make sure you get your ticket and then you will have a code that you can use for up to a after. So you can plan for that week. We still recommend you watch it live because you can be involved in the show as it's happening. You can see it as happening. There won't be any spoilers because you know we're going to post about it after the show and all that kind of thing. So we recommend it

live. Yeah. You guys are going to see the dress I picked on Instagram store ahead of time. Like you surprised by it. Definitely recommend being surprised. But we have listeners all over the world, all different reasons. So we just want to be able to accommodate those of you for one full week. So, but get those tickets now. I'm at girlsguidipackus.com. Also, you guys stormed the merch sale on Friday. We have never done so many orders. We're so thrilled. You guys are so excited.

I was just saying to Ashley, orders from every corner of the earth, which is so exciting for us that you guys want this stuff. So we're going to do a Cyber Monday sale, 10% off everything in the store. What should the code be? Oh, my God. We didn't think about it. Ashley is the code generator.

I didn't think. CyberSex Monday. Listen, all right. The code cyber sex. I don't care. You put me on the spot. And that's what it is. Cyber Monday.

Half a few bitches don't know what that means. You can put two and two together. The code is cyber sex. For 69% off. I'm kidding. I would never let that happen. I don't even make 69%. Listen, just to remind you all about how to act.

No. I'm all sales to apologize to race. All sales are final. Just double check your order, size, caller. We always do our best to accommodate everything you guys need. If you have questions, we have a contact form on the shopping website. Just email at customer support. We'll get back to you. Don't DM us because we're not going to see it probably. So just make sure that you're reaching out to customer support. And then holiday deadlines. So for guaranteed delivery by Christmas in the United States order by December 8th. If you want international shipping, which we ship everywhere, Australia, Canada, the UK, all over Europe, everywhere, Asia. International shipping, December 6. is the deadline. Of course things can happen with COVID. We're in a COVID world. It's an apparel business. We get a lot of stuff from all over. Things can of course be delayed. So try to just order stuff as soon

as humanly possible. We do everything that we can to get it to. Use the code and get it. Like, be like everybody was smart on Friday and use the code today. Cyber sex, 10% off everything. Okay. What's first? Queens Gambit.

It is swept the nation. Okay. A couple things. Yeah, go off. We both watched it in full. This is if you guys, if you live under a rock, this is a show on Netflix. But it is the first time ever, Ashley and I've ever watched a show in full at the same time. Yes. Okay. This is a milestone. We're doing it for you guys. Yeah. So, Queen's Gambit, show on Netflix, so incredible. Perfect show. I love it so much. I can ask you. So seven episodes, seven hours of chess. Do you know anything about chess? No, but did I text every person I know, do you know how to play chess?

And every person wrote me back, are you watching the Queen's Gambit? Did anyone say yes? They know. My brother told me that he can play without the board. And I was like, what does that mean? And he was like, I just played my head. I was like, fuck you, bro. Raina, your brother has been on notice for quite some time.

And he just keeps deepening in the notice. Okay, let me ask you a couple things. I have another thing to ask you too. Okay, you're asking. Let's be ping pong. Okay, my first question for you is, do you think, because let's be honest, we're going to start to get back into kind of probably a quarantine mode what it felt like earlier this year. I hate to say it.

It's going to happen and it's what should happen given the stark circumstances. Do you think chess is going to be like the new banana bread? The breakout hit of the quarantine? Like are chess boards going to start going like toilet paper? Like is everybody going to be doing, are they puzzles? Are they banana bread? Is chess going to be the fourth quarter pandemic activity? It's the banana bread.

I can't believe that every, okay, every online chess. gaming board had to buy new servers to handle the traffic. Okay, so I'm right. Oh, I just made that up. I'm just saying, like, I think that they did. Oh, she's like, am I. If you guys haven't seen Queens Gambit, by the way, are you living under Rock?

It's a fictionalized story about this child prodigy based on a book. You guys love to email and tell us the things are based on books. I know that I'm thinking of anything based on a book. I love you all. But, yes, it's about a child prodigy. She's an orphan. She becomes the chess master of the world throughout the show. Yes.

Second thing. Do you think guys that know how to play chess are out here flexing? Like, do you think they've updated their dating out profiles? Like, do you think guys are out here like, hey, baby, I can play chess? Every man that I asked about this really flex. One man told me he plays almost every other day of your life, of your life, of your life, of your life. You play like 180 days a year. No, no.

Yes, I can see people updating their profiles. I feel like this is the new flex because I don't understand. chess at all. I barely understand checkers. Girl. It's funny because that's such an insult. Like, you're more of a checkers kind of girl. You know what I mean? So like they said something. Wasn't it one thing in the show? They said like something about Texas and it was like, that's

more of a checkers kind of state. Like they said that in the show. So a couple things. I never, I didn't know anything about chess before. It is like, seems to me a really complicated game. I've looked up some things. I've talked to some people and I understand a little bit more about like how you can move those pieces because I was like there's no rhyme or reason. What am I watching? That being said, you do not obviously need to

anything about chess to watch this show at all. And you will fully enjoy it. And you will learn nothing about chess. I want to say a couple things about the show. I have one question before you give your review. Okay. Do you think if we weren't in like a pandemic world, the whole world locked down and like there's nothing to do?

Do you think a show about a little girl playing chess would have been as big of a deal as it has become? Because this show is like swept the nation. I mean, to me, yeah. Like I just think it's an incredible show. Like I think it's like comparable. I mean, during the. pandemic shows have just blown up more because we're just watching more TV. But I think outside of the

pandemic, it would have done as well as any other super popular show. I think it's that good. The acting is phenomenal. Yeah. So, okay, I want to talk about it. I guess just talking about it will lead to maybe a spoiler here and there. So if you haven't watched it, maybe you skip ahead just a few minutes. I'm not going to deep dive too hard. I just have a few things I wanted to say. So again, spoiler alerts may be ahead. So skip ahead, whatever. I've said it. I loved it. I loved it. so, so much on so many deep levels. It is an emotional ride. To me, it's like this story about chess, this story about a really traumatized girl,

a story about addiction, a story about a prodigy, like you said, like a genius, like kind of like a mad woman at some points. But to me, I'm going to cry. I feel like it is this story about female friendship and like that the person that saved her was her original friend in the orphanage. And I mean, when the door. open and it was Jolene. I lost my mind. I was like, oh my God, because all those men tried to save her and they all tried to come into her life and like rescue her from herself. And it was like the only

person that actually did it was this woman that showed up and was like, I'm here to help you. And then Beth was like, you're my guardian angel. And she was like, I'm not saving you. I'm your family. And like when we had nobody, we had each other. And I just can't like. The finale of that show was one of the best hours of TV I've ever watched. I felt like it was the most heartwarming, beautiful display of love and friendship and this woman finally feeling supported while she's also winning the biggest matches of her life. And she is able to accomplish this thing that she couldn't before because she had alcohol and drugs involved. And I just like the Russians treated her with so much love and respect. And like, you know my favorite, not my favorite scene. Because again, I think the female

friendship there is like the most beautiful thing. And like her and Jolene is like, the best part of the show and the most pivotal thing of what was it was really able to save her from herself. But like that scene when all the men are like on the phone and they were all together, I like lost it. I was like, they love her. They were just all together. Of course I cried. Of course I cried. I cried the whole time. But then she, when she found the photo and Mr. Sheibel is like in the basement. Like I just, I love the show. I loved every episode. I loved it all. Every single minute of the show. But the last episode was like, I haven't stopped thinking about it.

I think it's beautiful. I loved that, you know that I'm like a stickler for, like, things being realistic. Like, I don't like anything that's, like, really over-dramatized. Yeah. I believed all the characters. I thought that it really felt like somebody whose parents had died slash abandoned them, somebody who had addiction problems. Like, it wasn't over-dramatized.

I believed those relationships. And I know that had it been a true story, they probably would have obviously focused on this more, but instead of, like, spending the whole show talking about how she was the youngest female to do this, female, female, female, female, they didn't talk about it as much. I liked that they made a show just about somebody succeeding and that her age was like a bigger deal. Instead of this seven-part series, just harping on it being a woman, a woman, a woman. It was a person. But I feel like they actually addressed it. They addressed it. That interview, like when that woman came and interviewed and her bedroom, I feel like that was like a common theme. So I love that

you said that. Let me ask you this. This was this thing that had me on the edge of my seat. Were you ever wondering if her adopted mother was like going to be a villain? Like, was there a moment where you were like, oh my God, she's going to take all her money and she's going to be like a bad guy. The adopted mom, yes, absolutely. I thought she was going to do something like greedy and terrible. And I liked it that they, again, it's more believable that the person kind of saw dollar signs, but then got into it.

Yeah. Like she wasn't a great influence with the drinking and stuff. But like I think they had a real love and a real bond. I loved it. I loved the way the kid. I thought it was a very realistic depiction of how somebody would be that grew up with no parents. It felt like everybody abandoned them and everybody left them.

And I just, I thought that that actress was phenomenal. So good. Perfect actress to play that part. I was floored. I hope it wins all the awards. And I wanted to just co-sign something you've been saying for years in the podcast. It's the first conversation you and I ever had when we were in a Ruba together. We were in a car.

I asked you what shows you like. You said watch younger. It was the first thing we ever talked about in Ruba when we met three years ago. Like exactly three years ago, I finally got around it. I watched the whole first season on Saturday and I thought it was fantastic. So if you guys were looking for something really fun and bingeable, Hillary Duff is in it. It's a really, really great show about somebody who's 40. She's pretending to be 26.

And it's great. I loved it. I'm glad that you turned me on to it. it's on Hulu, so. Yeah, you can watch it on Hulu. And I'm not going to review this show in full because I'm not going to. Because I wanted to, and I get too long-winded, and maybe I will at a later point. So I'm just all I'm going to say is I'm going to recommend it for now.

We've tried to record this and I get, I can't stop. I get so passionate. This is the third time, guys. I'm just going to say, I'm just going to recommend it and I'm going to leave it. If you love Younger, I think you will love the bold type. So there's a show called The Bold Type. You can watch it on Hulu. It was on like free form or something.

Listen, I will say wholeheartedly it is one of my favorite shows I have ever watched, ever. That's all I'm going to say, I'm not going to start reviewing it because I'll go too long. I'll start talking about it in the character development and all the topics they cover. I can't stop. It opens with them screaming. Okay, I got to stop. The bold type, you don't have to watch younger or no younger, but I just think they're similar. Like, if that's the kind of shows you like.

We talked about all these shows because we hated Emily and Paris, by the way. So the bold type cannot recommend enough four fucking seasons. So you can go for a long time. The episodes are long. Younger episodes very short. Episodes of the bold types are long. But bold tapes are closer to 40. So you have a little bit longer.

So many of these shows are like 20 minute episodes. Four seasons, which is such a treat to find a show you love. And there's so much of it to watch. So I'm caught up now, but I've been watching it now for almost like a month or two. It is one of my favorite shows I've ever seen. I love it so much. I laugh. I cry.

I get turned on. And like it covers so much. And anyway, I got to stop. No, it's fine. Because I'll go down this road. You guys will like it. It's three girls. They work in a fashion magazine together.

And it is really good. And really, they cover a lot of, like, heavier stuff, but a lot of, like, sex and dating. And it's right on brand for us. Why am I doing this? I have to stop. It's the third time, guys. We've cut this twice from episodes.

I love the music. Who's your favorite character? I can't answer that in short. I can't answer that. I'm just talking with you. We can't do this. Because they've all developed over time. Okay.

Okay. Okay. The main thing. is watching these girls grow up. Okay, I'm done. But also that I like Sutton. I love Sutton, but I feel like I've watched Cat really grow up and find yourself.

But I love Jane, too. Listen, I love them all. And also the editor of the magazine, Jacqueline Carla, like, it's just, it's a great show. Okay, so listen, guys, if you have not watched younger, the bold type, Queens Gambit, you have your work, a cut out for you. Don't waste your time in Emily and Paris if you haven't already.

By the way, let me ask you this. Have I watched the crown? No. I have a Wikipedia page. I can learn about the British heristocracy. I watched the first season. And I haven't watched the last one. I don't watch the crowd. I don't watch a lot of things that I'm embarrassed about, but that I've never seen. So do you think there's two types of girls, Queen's Gambit and Emily and Paris? Do you think we can like... I'm sure a lot of people like both. There's probably some cross. You know, I'm... There's some cross pollination. Case Kenny from last week. He's an Emily and Paris girl. Listen, case Sunday night before his episode went live last week had the audacity to post how much he loved Emily and Harris. And I would tell you what, if we had a backup episode in the bank, we would have held it for another week or we would have canceled it. We wouldn't have you guys be able to see that Monday morning ever. I'm sure his Instagram got flooded. And then people were like, oh, damn.

Still, yeah, can't say enough bad things about no one. Renewed for season two. Of course it was. High fidelity, was it? Don't get me started. You brought up high fidelity to me. Oh, this guy that I had dinner with on last week. He liked it.

He liked it a lot. He loved one guys. He randomly brought it up. He was like, there was a show with Zoe Kravitz. It's so fantastic. I was like, you know that show. Wasn't renewed? Was it renewed for another season?

Spread my legs wide open for that shit. A man. Did you? Did you? No, I kind of had a crazy allergic reaction and had to go home. Okay, guys, Raina, hold her account. She needs to get her blood pressure figured out and her allergies. I had an allergic reaction that rivaled anything that's ever happened to my body.

I couldn't believe it. I was having orange wine and like natural wine. It's just like murky shit. I'm sure some of you like it. It's not for me. Full body just broke out and like red rash. But is the point of natural wine to be less reactive, like less of a hangover? I guess I need those chemicals, man.

You need those tannins. I don't know. I don't know how wine works. I only worked in restaurants my whole life. That was our first fight. It was about a wine. Oh, yeah. Okay, so yeah, you got to get yourself together.

I do. Get yourself checked out. Okay. One thing I'll just, I'll talk about. I went on a date not too long ago that I haven't talked about yet. And probably now at this point, like it was like a week ago or a week and a half ago or whatever, like super COVID safe date. So literally coffee outside and we actually sat kind of far apart from each other.

So like very like really wanted to like really be safe about it. So yeah, we just got sober date. coffee, sat outside. And I just think it's funny how I met this guy. He did slide in the DMs. And he had DM'd me once before, like earlier. And he's from where I'm from. So he had DM'd me about something about being in Delaware during the spring. And I didn't ever see it. He slid in with a LASIC recommendation. So I posted, I asked for LASIC recommendations. I thought I was going to get at this one place, but I'm not, whatever. It's long story. So I am still going to get LASIC. He slid in with his LASIC recommendation, and he was not the only guy that hit on me.

I'm talking a total of four guys used my LASIC slide to hit on me and ask me out. And I'm wondering, is it because guys are like, looking for a blind bitch. So she can't see my bullshit. Some guys like, that bitch can't see. I'm about to hit her up. This is a new dating profile idea. I love this. It was weird.

And maybe it was like the timing of like, no, it didn't. is. I just think people like giving recommendations. I just think like especially doctors. Like it is the best. You're right. It's the best opening. Because people are just like, I live in the city too. Here's this thing I know about. I want to flex my skills, my knowledge. I know a good doctor. And it's even better than saying like, do you know a good bar? Because who the fuck doesn't know a good bar?

You know what? I'm going to be out here asking, do you guys know a good electrician? Yeah. You guys got a good plumber? Maybe some hot electrician will slide it. No, this other guy that has asked me out before in my DMs, he slid in there and then like wouldn't really let up. He was like, remember I want to take you out? I was like, okay. Like, I didn't forget.

And then some other guy came in. Like, there was literally four dudes that were, like, trying to ask me out based off the LASIC recommendation slide. And this guy, I like what he did because he was like, told me his recommendation where he got LASIC, whatever, here in the, he lives here in the city. And then was like, also I'd love to, like, show off my 2020 vision and grab a drink with you sometime or whatever.

And it was great. And then this was really cool. He, his Instagram profile is not a, lot of photos of him. It's like just weird, funny stuff and like throwback. It's just, it's not a real, like, he's not like a guy that's posting pictures of himself, which is fine. He uses it more for like fun movie clips and shit like that. And he was like, also I just realized my Instagram profile doesn't really have much on it of me and sent me like screenshots of his hinge. And I was like, that's perfect. Like, that's a perfect way to be like, here's what I look like. I love everything he did.

We all want to know what people look like. And we hear this from our guy friends. Like a girl will kind of come in. She's private and they can't see her. and they're like, how am I supposed to, like, let's just be honest that we want to see what someone looks like. So I love that he sent his hinge profile page. He was ready to go. He was locked and loaded. But I love this tip.

I think, like, we tell these stories so you can get a tip. I love this idea of just like putting something that people can, like an actionable thing. It's like, yeah, everyone's been to Florence. We all know you've been to Florence. You've hung out with elephants in Thailand. But don't do that. Some people, not everybody is a good LASX guy. Lasix.

Yeah. Somebody who doesn't. But I just like that he was like owned the fact that he did. didn't have a lot of photos on Instagram was like, I'm going to show her my dating app profile. And we had a decent date. He looked like he looked better in person. I think getting, I've had great look recently in terms of like not being catfish and guys showing up looking exactly like they should or better. We had kind of a funny day because we were not drinking and it was just funny. I'm proud of you. You really like committed to date. You're like really dating.

A lot. I mean, I don't think. I'm proud of you. I think it's going to get weird. I think, you know, I want to be safe, obviously. And there's still an opportunity to go meet somebody like outside. So I'm trying, I mean, as long as we can. I'm proud of you. And I think that it is going to get really cold and really miserable. So now's the time to lock them down. I'm trying to lock somebody down. I mean, it's amazing. Then they can't go anywhere for like a while. Yeah. It's going anywhere this winter.

Okay. I want to tell you something that I committed to that I relapsed and I just want to like be honest and hold myself accountable. I said that I was going to stop checking all of my exes and the people that they're dating and guys that I like and their ex-girlfriends. I said that was going to stop doing that because I was doing like a lot on my Finsta, like a ton, and it was consuming a lot of time of my life. And I committed to stop me doing that. And that was great. And I have since relapsed.

And I like really leaned back in. And I let myself do it for like five days. Five days? Yeah, for like five days a lot. I got really crazy with it. I was just like on the Finsta all day, every day. Like everybody that they're dating new girlfriends, ex-girlfriends, everything. And then I woke up one morning last Friday and I made the commitment to stop doing it.

again and I will say like I feel so much better and this is like not a hot take but I'm nine days in to my being back on back on the wagon and I just feel like it's not like a hot take but like when you stop looking at people's profiles you just don't think about them ever again they literally cease to exist in the world because otherwise they're living in your head rent free a hundred percent all day you and I live in a lot of people's head run free love being there love to see it but I just wanted to tell you guys And then I do just feel better. It's been nine days.

I'm thought about any of these fucking people except for right now. I feel great. Okay. I'm going to ask you something on the podcast. This is going to be real. This is a real friendship moment. You guys are hearing this. Do you want me to hold you accountable with this?

Because I don't care. I have no room to talk. I stock, stock, stock on my Finsta. I would never, like, shame me for sending you something you mean. Like, unless I felt like it was. really taking a toll on your mental health. And then I would, like, have a serious conversation with you. But you did send me something from one of these people.

And so I knew you were backed doing it. Yes. And I just indulged you and I humored you because I don't care. And I think that you're fine. Would you prefer that I, like, hit you with it, like, Rayna? No. And here's what. Because I don't care.

Live your true. No. And hear me out. First of all, I do feel like I am fine about all of the people that I'm talking about. Like, you know the people I'm talking about, including that person. Like I just feel like mentally great Especially like in the last few days I just feel like whatever

I would only send you something in the extreme And that was like extreme and embarrassing And I just wanted to laugh at him Yeah No Like I want to be like a safe place for you Like I don't want you to feel like Ashley's gonna judge me

Because I don't give a fuck You are but you bring up something that I think is important Which is like there's nothing wrong With like your best friend I mean I'm not trying to hear this from a fucking stranger Or somebody I sort of But there is nothing wrong with your best friend Saying to you like

I feel like you're spending a lot of like brain space on this and I just feel like you would feel better if you stopped. Right. And I think that there's like a nice way to say that. And like I think that like I've been guilty. Like I, you sent me something once like a year and a half ago and I like kind of made fun of you about it. And I like think about this every day of my life.

I feel bad. But like, so that's not the right route. But I like what you're saying, which is like there's nothing wrong with saying to your friend. Like I love you. I think this is unhealthy for you. And I just think you'd feel better if you stopped doing this. Yeah. And so I don't need that.

I don't feel like I'm unhealthy. but yeah, if I was or if you thought that I was, I wouldn't hate it. Because I had that thought when you sent me this thing. I was like, uh-oh. She's back to her. She's back on her bullshit. Federal tricks. No, but I feel good.

I had to send you that because it was an emergency. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I loved your question. Thank you for asking. I had a lot of questions this intro. I enjoyed it. We have a really exciting guest in a house studio with us today.

He is a stand-up comedian and an actor from New York City. He is the co-host of Oops Podcast with another former guest of ours, Francis Ellis. He has the best stories of all time. He's so sweet and be like sneak attacks you do something absolutely insane. Please welcome to the house studio with us and Dewey, Julia Golarati. Hey, good. Hey. Thanks for having me, guys.

It's been a long time coming. We're so excited. I know. This is great. This is an honor. Yeah. Very dope. So you're Francis's bestie.

I'm kidding. I think we are essentially. It's funny. I mean, as you guys maybe know, it's like interesting to be good friends of the person who you podcast with because you have to like decide what you want to talk about on the podcast for the first time. Do you guys do that? Well, yeah, I mean, it's really nice. I always say it's like nice for us that we're not old friends. Her and I have been friends for three years. But there are so many stories. We don't know about each other. Same with you guys. Exactly. We are telling each other

new stories, which is fun. So Francis and I sat down and talked for like hours one day before you guys started the podcast. And he was like, I'm starting with this guy, Julio. He's just up. He said he's a beloved comedian. Like he was so nice to hear But he loves him And I was like I don't know him Like it was just like And so I didn't know anything about you

I'll be the judge of that And then I just feel like you guys have Your friendship is developed on the podcast Which is the same as us So what I love the most Is that he does not know your stories And you just like shock him all the time And he goes here we go

Here we go And then Chris's laugh Who's your producer who also does stuff with us Ashley forwards me his laugh His laugh is really great clips Because you guys do great clips So if you guys aren't familiar You should be listening to oops

or at least watching the clips on social media. Thank you. Yeah, we're pretty proud of it. And it's been a good time. Yeah? Well, we want to hear a little bit more about you. If you want to give us like the once over and then I have a little story about you that I want to tell people.

I love it. I mean, you got starting comedy. Oh, cool. Yeah. Your famous friends are, all the things. I mean, I've been doing it in New York for so long, like, you know, over a decade. And, you know, I started with all, you know, we all, that's how comedy works, as you

all start together. And then you kind of see everybody take off and have great success. and like, you know, it's no different with me. Like, I've kind of seen all my friends find their different lanes and their different successes. And it's sort of funny, too, because, like, some people will kind of get off to a head star and then other people will catch up. And then all of a sudden, that guy's the guy who's in head. And it's a really odd thing.

And it's one of those things where, like, it gets better and better as you go because at first it really fucking sucks. Because it's hard. And, like, how do you make money? How do you figure out a way to do it? All your friends who don't do comedy doubt you, and you know they're talking shit about you. Like, you start as the guy, like, yo, gee, so funny. do, everyone calls me G. G's so funny. But then when I'm like, my job is being funny, they're like, oh, you think you're funny. Oh, okay, Mr. Funny Boy. Oh, like, what's your real job?

You know what I mean? All of a sudden, they decide that, like, they're not okay with this newfound confidence. Well, we always say, I mean, everything is fucking stupid until like, everything is brown sugar water until you invent Coca-Cola. Yeah, it's true. Like, but, like, how do you become a thought? You have to post, you have to post pictures oiled up to get to that. Like, like that hoe over there? Yeah. Like, how do you become a thought for your job? You know what I mean? Right.

You know, you can't, like, you have to oil up your ass and post it. And even if you're going to start only getting 10 likes and all your friends are going to make fun of you. And then one day you'll have two million. And you, and you're those same people will be like, oh, I knew her, bro. I know this girl. That's so true. It's so true.

I remember when I started the food blog, my family couldn't fucking stand it. I remember we were brunch one day and my brother shoved his plate away and was like, how long are we going to have to do this for? And a year later, I took him on a free trip to the Ritz Carlton and New Orleans. You know, you just keep at it. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely.

So you... I hope you gave him chores on the trip, too. I made him share a room with... Hold this ring light. Yeah. Hold this fucking ring light, dude. I made him share a room with me and his wife, so... All the three of us shared one room. That's pretty great.

Okay, so yeah. So, and you... Like, who did you, like, come up with? Just like... Ashley's fishing for a name. I just want you to name drop a little. We're not going to get personal, but like... No, it's totally cool. I mean, I'm trying to think of guys I, like, started with like, Ricky Veles, Mike Cannon, Pete Davidson.

Ever heard of him? Chris DeStefano. Yeah. Our audience knows. these people. Yeah, and even like the people who were the generation ahead of me, like Andrew Schultz, like, that's a guy who was like the best guy to have on your bar show, you know, like Hannibal Burris was the best guy to have in your bar show. And these people are all like huge stars. And like I'm sure I'm leaving out plenty. No, that's good. And have the guys,

those guys we've had on the show or people just know them in general. So I just, I think it's so cool. Like you actually do like start a career with these people. Totally. So it's really cool. You're in a good group of people. For sure. All those people. And you know, we all ebb and flow in like some years. I'm closer with some of them than I am other years. And like, certainly some of them are like, I'm always really, really close to and always see. Like, Ricky is like, I always see Ricky. And like, I actually introduced him to his wife. I married them. Oh, that's right. So, you know, it's nice. And then, you know, other friends, comedy, as you guys know, like, it's one of those things where it doesn't take much to maintain the friendship because

you have such similar experiences and lifestyles than like if somebody's in town or if, like, one of my boys who's, like, famous hits me up to open for him. If I haven't, like, talk to him in a while. It's not like weird. You know what I mean? It's like, oh dude, yeah, sweet. Like, thank you. You know what I mean? I don't know. It's a, it's a nice thing. It is. It's cool. It's a nice, it's a nice family to be a part of. For sure. Yeah. Especially when they get really famous and they're like, hey, man, you want to come open up and you're like, yeah. But then we're not single so you can't get pussy because

of it. That's true, but I was single for so long. Okay. You got enough comedy. I just, I, my, most of my 20s were single or in tumultuous relationships that didn't last more than a month at a time. Like the back and forth thing where like every day I'm waking up being like, how do I keep this person interested in me? Like that type of shit. I didn't have like an adult relationship until I was in my 30s. So like I was single for plenty.

And like I don't feel like I'm missing out now. You did it. I love that though. I like I would rather find a guy who's like done that who's fucked a bunch, who's dated a bunch, who's run around. I would.

I want to meet somebody that feels like I did it. You know? And your girlfriend is great. And we love her. We know we're going to talk all about her today. But I love me with a guy that like has done all the things. Yeah. And we're going to talk about your relationship today.

We're going to talk about how you guys got together, your long-distance relationship. But I want to tell people a little story about how I knew it was real with you for our friendship. And it involves comedy and your girlfriend. But you were there, so you know what happened to this night. But the three of us were at one of the worst events I've ever been to in my life last winter. And I was so uncomfortable. I hated it. I just felt like physically just like I hated it.

I just hated everybody there. I hated it. It was a comedy show slash birthday party. We're not going to say names. It was brutal. We've already made fun of this guy one time already in the podcast. We can't keep dragging him, but it was not good. I can keep dragging him.

He started fighting the audience. It was incredible. At his own birthday party. Then I was hosting. It's fine. You want to go? You want to go? Literally from the stage.

It was unbelievable. It was the most entertaining thing of a lot of us. And let me just say that I had gotten laid the night before. So I was just chilling. And I was like, my, I was glowing. It was amazing. And I was just like, this is fine. And everybody was so agro.

And I was like, I don't know, but I just got laid like hours ago. Actually I did just ghost out of this day. The yesterday I was like, going to tell the story and I was like, you weren't there. Where'd you go? I went to go masturbate to my fantasy from the night before. You had that natural sex carotin running through your hair, just looking amazing. She did. She ditched us. But we were at the worst event all time and I hated it. I can't stress that enough. And then Ashley went home and me, you and Dylan Paladino, who's been on the show

before too. The three of us got no cab. We went to the stand. We met up with your girlfriend. We went up with Remy, Casimir and her boyfriend who have been on the show as well. And it was just this nice night where like I felt like these people are. are like my home. You know, like these people, like my family. I felt like, you know, like we all have the same interests and hobbies. And I felt comfortable. And it was just leaving a situation where you feel so physically uncomfortable.

You don't like the people you're with. They don't feel like home. And to like go to a place it feels like home with people that feel like home was so nice. And I was like, I just like I knew that we were going to be friends like for a long time after that. That's very sweet. That's really. I had a great time too.

Good. I mean, you're right. Sometimes you have those nights. And it's like, why when you do comedy, the hang is so important? because some nights you have these, like, great nights with people who are in your field. I didn't know you that well before. You've done my podcast, but, like, it was cool to hang and, you know, here we are. But that's so, like, when you know these aren't your people and then these are, you know what I mean.

Like to go, that's like such a stark contrast of, like, being at this thing where it's like, God, these people are terrible. And then to go and just like hang, you know, like down to earth people. Yeah. But let's talk about your relationship. Sure. Yeah. So how long have you guys been together?

It's been two years. Oh, okay. And I joke with her. Like, I'll be like, baby, we've almost been together for three years. Like, it just became two years. And she's like, no, we haven't. Wait to like free. He's like, but doesn't it feel like it?

Yeah. Yeah. It feels like 10. Yeah, literally. Well, we're excited to talk about this because you told me a story about how she, playing hard to get is not the right word. She just, like, did her own thing and you fell in love with her. So we're going to unpack it.

Yeah, totally. Let's do it. So first of all, I think it's important to note. a couple things. First of all, we got in a fight on our first date. Okay. Like an argument, which was so interesting. She was just like asking questions and I started to get defensive. It sounds like it was your fault, yeah. Maybe. I mean, it was Wednesday. Like we were drinking. It was weird. And then like at the end of the night, I wanted to like end the night with a kiss. I'm like, you should end the night with a kiss. So I kind of like, imagine her standing here.

I leaned in to kiss her and she just like didn't move or kiss me back. She kind of just, she kind of got kissed. It was as if I was kissing a wax figure of my girlfriend, but my now girlfriend. And then leading up to it, I had thought that I had been really running game on her. Like, I slid into the DMs. Even throughout the fight, you're like, I'm killing it. Yeah, I kind of thought. And yeah, like, throughout the whole time, it was pretty...

A fight on a date? Like, I remember arguing with this guy who about, like, that he was trying to say that New York didn't have the past pizza. But, like, as in, like, the best piece I'd ever had was in, like, Fresno or some shit. And I was like, I went to go to the bathroom to call myself down. Anyway, like, I was just like, I'm fighting on a date. It's hilarious. Yeah. Keep going.

No, no, I feel you. How did you slide into her DMs? That's how you met her? I met her by sliding into her DMs. I had known of her. And like, this is so, all right. So the first time that I like met her, my friend left his jacket at his friend's girlfriend's apartment.

He's like, let's go get it. And I knew this girl. So we're sitting. And Hillary was her roommate. So she comes out of the bedroom and I don't know what came over me. I am not this guy at all. But she walks by and I go, you're hot. The honor of you guys telling me this story together at dinner one night.

We go really self-conscious after. We're like, do we just like talk about ourselves for too long? Like, yeah, now here we are together. I asked. And Hillary was like, fine, I'll tell you. And like, your hot thing was very funny to me. And I literally, and I went, good for you. And then like, she apparently went in the other room

was like, who the fuck is that? And when I walked out of the apartment, my friend was like, dude, that was sick. And I, like, didn't even look at him. I was like, I know, bro. I, like, thought it was so sick. I don't know what the fuck came over me. I thought I killed it. It was so embarrassing.

So then... I just picture this guy like sitting back with a beer. He's like, you're hot. In your own home. He's in your home. You walk out of your bedroom and a stranger's like, you're hot. It's so embarrassing. Honestly, I'd probably fuck you. Like, yeah. You want to come back here with me? Or you have a condom? I know. No, you wouldn't. True. So yeah, so that happened. And then I thought that was so sick, whatever. But then, like, she had a boyfriend, apparently, whatever. So I didn't, you know, get involved. But then I started, like, commenting on her roommate's shipping, like tell you a roommate to call me, like, whatever, just kind of like fucking around.

I didn't even know that that got back to her, apparently did, whatever, whatever. Fast forward, I slide in the DMs when I find out she's single. My, that same friend, like, sent me a story that she was in. He's like, dude, here she is. And I just got immediately triggered. And I slid in the DMs doing like the surfer guy, like sliding in the DM. Like that emoji? Yes.

Julie, I was trying to tell you why you were single and you're 20. No. Okay, honestly, I have not seen the surfer. I like the, I like the, it's like the slide in and the guy's like, it's the dog emoji. And he's like, oh, how'd he get loose? And it's like, I've seen that meme of like somebody like the dog off the liege. And they're like, oh, sorry. My dog got loose.

Anyway, here I am. That's hilarious. But I have not heard of a surfer slide in. I'm dead. Yeah, I did the surfer. And I literally said, and then I sat back. I was like, killed it. I was like, dude, killing it.

Like this girl's not beautiful. I know. I know. It's so insane. So then. She's probably masturbating right now. I slide in the DMs with the slide in the DM emoji. And she, like, didn't know anything about me.

But the kid who she knew, who was my friend, is like a New York City kid. And he had a bunch of kids friends who are New York City kids who are younger than me. And who, like, a few of them are like rich kids. She just, like thought I was some rich kid. So literally I messaged her being like, what are you doing tomorrow? You want to go to the natural history museum with me? Like she didn't know that I was like a comedian that like I come from like a normal background. So she just thought I was some rich kid who like had all the time in the world.

And she just replies, I have a job. job. And I was like, oh, yeah. Like, and then I don't know why I asked this. The, the picture that my friend had sent me of her was of her in the Hamptons. Okay. And I was going to be in the Hamptons. Memorial. Yeah. Memorial. It's the messenger. What are you doing? Labor Day weekend. You're going to be in the hamps? I said the hamps. At this time, do you still think you're running a good game? I think I'm crushing it. And I think that's an important message. important lesson. Like thinking you're killing it is so important. Because like if I didn't think I was killing it, I would have like not had been confident

enough to keep going on. Yeah. Yeah. Like that's like big day. Also white men confidence. It's funny because she also just still at this point thinks are you this rich kid? And then he said hams and she's like, fuck this guy. I'm just like burying myself deeper and deeper. Okay. So eventually I get invited to her apartment party, not by her. Obviously. By the other person. I make sure to message her saying I'm coming to your party. it's seen and she doesn't respond to that seen no response and I was like okay you better roll my sleeves up playing hard to get

it was like really bad it should be said that before we even before we started recording I was like so she was like playing games and like you're like no no no she like really felt like that yeah she wasn't trying to play any game she was just like living her life she was just kind of like repulsed

but you know whatever so she she's a nice person i think she was like the fact that i kept trying she was like willing to entertain me at least so i get to her party she kind of sits on the couch and there's an open space in the couch she's kind of like this is essentially his chance to come sit down and talk to me and get to know me um so i sit down next to her and we start talking and immediately i start digging myself deeper in a fucking hole because she starts talking about ariana Grande and I had just hung out with Ariana Grande. So now I start name dropping. Oh, God. Oh, God. And she was just like, ew. I was like, oh yeah, like I just met in Ariana Grande. I just chill with her. Like, here's a picture of us together. Like, so, I like, so. And the picture's like,

I'll show you guys. She's like, thank you next. Hey, yeah. Literally. She's literally, thank you. Yeah. So at this point, like, I'm just such a tool. Like, I'm, I'm really, but I end up getting her number. Okay. And, um, you do sound like a rich kid. You've hung out with Ariana Grande and you're in the Yeah, I mean, it's... But also, at the end of the day, Pete Pippeton is the guy from Staten Island. You know what I mean? Like, he wasn't a rich kid. Exactly, exactly.

She didn't, I don't think she knew that connection. And I honestly wasn't even really chilling with Pete that much. Like, I happened to be... I happened to be at a thing that he was at with her. Yeah. And she happened to be... We were at a dinner and she sat next to me at the dinner because they just set it up that way. I don't know, whatever.

So anyway, so now I just seem like this tool. I get her number. She leaves to go to some party. I'm like, I'm in a good spot. I text her she doesn't respond. Now, I start getting drunk. and I'm chilling with my friend and his girlfriend, and his girlfriend's, like, younger. So apparently I was, like, complaining about it.

And she used what I think is, like, such a young girl word. When we reflected back on that night, she goes, you were being really conceited. I just think conceited is, like, the first big word a teenager learns. Like, I haven't said conceited or heard it since I was in high school. It's so true. It's like this big word for a young kid. Yes, yes. So she doesn't know.

Like adults say arrogant, but okay, go off. It's arrogant. It's the wrong word. It's the wrong word. I hate to vocabulary shame, but it is the wrong word. It's the wrong word. Needy, I think, is what she was digging for. Totally.

Yeah. There's a lot more. Actually, right. Totally. Yeah, not even the right word at all. Yeah, exactly. I don't know why I was so confident and thought that she should be so interested to me.

It was actually crazy now that I think about it in retrospect. Maybe delusional was a good word. Maybe delusional is a good word. I'm not like some dick. You know what I mean? I just thought that. You don't come across. like that at all. Julia, when I met you, I was like,

is he single? You're so cute. The day I met you. Absolutely. I was like, how dare you Francis started a podcast with a guy with a girlfriend? Yeah. Because you're supposed to be out here for me. I'm helping you. You help me. Francis has nobody for me. I know. I'm always like, you're so wonderful. And I'm like, any, if I'm finding a person,

I'm out here asking our agent to hook me up. That's hilarious. Francis has so many wonderful non-comedy guy friends. I know he does. I really does have a girlfriend. His friends are great. He also has a lot of, like, conceded Harvard friends. I'm kidding. I'll take them too.

I wanted to use the word. Okay. But the day I met you, I walked into Francis's apartment, I just texted Ashley. I was like, is you really a single? Anyway. Okay. Okay. So now we start texting, though.

And we have a good banter back and forth. It's like pretty good. Whatever. We're talking. All this interesting shit's happening. Like, Ricky's child is being born. Like, there's just like a lot of interesting talking points. And I end up being like, let's go on a date Wednesday.

And she goes, okay. So we go on this date. And the date goes, okay. I force the kiss. And then I just like stay. on her and I start pounding her with like persistence. Not with your penis. Not with your.

All consensual guys. Yeah. All consensual figurative pounding occurring. Okay. So anyways, you kiss her. She walks in her building and it's she's gone. Yeah. Correct.

Okay. And I actually planned the date down the street from her apartment just in case it went really well. Right. And it ended up in her. Which all guys do that. Hot take. Yeah.

They all do that. I don't even know if she knows that. I plan them near my apartment so I can leave sooner. Smart. But I also wanted to be convenient. Yeah. Yeah. And guys have been mostly like,

we live in the East Village so when I match with a guy he's like hey let's go out in the East village because like a cool place to go like if a guy was like can you come up to the upper west to be like absolutely not Trevor like you know nope anyway so another thing then so then we we end up hanging out again that week and things start to change and turn in my favor I think we get to know each other a little better things start going well and the second time we hang out it was kind of impromptu like I was walking around downtown I was like hey you want to meet up and go for drinks at this dive bar whatever and I sort of invite her to come over and I'm like I'm going to invite you over.

I just want you to know that if you say no, it's okay. Like, you don't need to feel pressure to come. But, like, I'd love for you to come and we'll do whatever you're comfortable with. She ended up declining. She's like, I'm comfortable not coming. Yeah, but it was still good. Like, things were progressing nicely. Yeah.

And then as things continued to progress, it was funny because my impulse is to be like this crazy, like, confess my love to you right away thing. And like, when people let me do that, it just burns out. You know what I mean? When people allow me to do that, it burns. Like, there have been times where, like, I met a girl and then, like, told, I'm like she brought her a real comedy show and then in front of everybody like the day I met or started like calling her out and being like you know I just know that I really like her

like this crazy shit what do you like that romantic but what do you think that is that I mean I can diagnose you if you'd like me too but what do you think it is that like somebody it's interesting because like most guys would say like I don't like when women start doing that but you're saying I don't like when they let me get like that what do you think that it's not that it's not that I don't like it it's not that I don't like it's that somehow that like where do you go from there you have to build up too much too fast it's too much too fast it's too much too fast. Where is there to build romance on that when I'm coming out of the gate doing the most romantic, crazy? And maybe some of it's like me wanting to like be so, do something so big and so

grand because I think I need to for some reason. Like you know what I mean? Whatever. But like I'm crazy. Like I have girls names tattooed on me. Like I get tattoos of girls. Like it's, you know, to the point where my current girlfriend was like, do not get my name tattooed on you because I'm not like those other girls. So my tattoo of her is just she drew this. She just drew a heart and I just got it on me. So you still do have one. I think I think you're, I think you're just like a, you know, really like passionate, like big personality person. Like you just live your life in like a big way in a good way. Right.

Yeah. And like sure, maybe I'm like a little spontaneous. And like I think this is one of the reasons why Francis and I are compliment each other well because Francis is like very grounded. He has a good like his home is so like immaculate and like you go over. He'll make you espresso martini instead of his espresso machine. And like I'm like not as much like that. I'd like to be.

I strive to be. But it's not there yet for me. As our relationship built, there were so many of these funny moments like this where like I asked her to be my girlfriend and she started laughing in my face and her friend went Hillary she was like do you hear that?

Because it was really early and then she goes chill she was like just chill like and I was like okay I was like did you know what? Did she ever talk to you about like what that was? I mean I know like all jokes aside like her just sort of like playing hard to get whatever did she ever say to you like

I just don't warm up to people super quickly or I was purposely doing that Did you guys ever talk about that? Yeah, I think it's just her style. And I think that that's why things are so easy for us because, I mean, knock on wood, you know, hopefully they continue to be. But that works for me, you know, in a way that I didn't realize what. Like she is deliberate and takes her time and like she's not just going to like give me

everything, show me everything about herself right away. You know, it took months to like find out certain things or like find out certain tendencies and it just put me on her schedule, which like ended up working for me. She paste it. She pasted it. I mean, which is, you know, a lot of times women, like, tend to, like, just let the guy kind of pace it. And I, like, this reminds me of a relationship I was in where he liked me so much

at the beginning. I was unsure about him for various reasons. And I acted like this, but not because I was playing games or playing hard to get. It was like, genuinely, I just was unsure. And I remember this time he, like, tried to, like, cuddle me in a cab. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, please back up. Like, all these things, he would bring them up when we got serious of like, geez, you were so, like, such a bitch in a kidding way.

But he was like, you really made me. me work for it. And it was like, I wasn't trying. I just like didn't know yet. It's just a natural way of being. It has nothing to do with her being like, now I'm going to leave him on red. Like, it was just her living her life. Yeah. I think there, I mean, I have suffered from this and I've worked on it. It's something I truly have to work on. Like, I always say like I'm too available. I let people get too comfortable too quickly. And I think that it's not sexy. Some people will find it sexy. The right person will eventually find it sexy. But I do let people get a little too comfortable too quickly. And I realize that that's a flaw. And it can kind of put you in the friend zone.

a little bit, or it can make somebody lose interest. And I think that people should live their life and be authentic to themselves. And I think if something feels good, you should do it. And I would never say there's like one size fits all for relationships. But I think at least what she did was that she pasted it out and she was authentic to herself. And that's good. And she like let the relationship build. And there's something great to be said about that.

Totally. And I think that is a good point. The idea of like being authentic to yourself because you can get swept away in someone else's way. Yes. And that is dangerous because then you, who are you? Right. You're not a thing anymore.

You're just them. You're just becoming them. We talked about that last week where we said, you know, you can only like keep that up for so long and only pretend to be a certain way for so long. I mean, you're going to have to be you at some point. So it wouldn't be authentic to me to be like your girlfriend and probably like spend months sort of like keeping somebody at bay a little bit.

But I would, I envy being a little bit more like that. But she also like, you were persistent. Like we say this too. Like, because I think about my ex when I was like that. And had he just been like, she's not that end of me after date one. We never would have dated. It was him like still pursuing. and kind of like we jokingly say wear you down.

You know, like he just, I was like, I do fucking like him now, I guess. You know, he isn't exactly who I thought he was at first. Same as you. Like she kind of misread you at first, too. And also we, like, I allowed her to go at her own pace. Like I said, I love you to her, like early. And she wasn't ready. And I said that.

I was like, listen, I don't want you to feel bad. I was like, take your time. Like, it's cool. Like, whatever. But like, this is how I feel. Like tomorrow or. Yeah. So like, she said a couple months later.

It takes two weeks or, you know, two days. But, yeah, I mean, I think she's a lovely person. I really just don't really have any complaints. We don't, we don't argue that often. So we want to talk about, like, you guys being apart. Because what I love about your relationship is that you both seem very independent. You were not together throughout the quarantine. You aren't spending the holidays together.

Like, you know, you went on this crazy road trip. And I think you tell us, I think you met up with her towards the end or whatever. But I love that you live your life in that way and not according to other people. I think sometimes people see couples that aren't together at a time when they think a couple should be together. And they're like, ooh, that must not be going well. And it was fine. Like, you guys were apart for what, three, four months?

Yeah, for like over two months. Yeah. I forget exactly how much, but it was a long-ass time. But I was curious, you know, like when you told me that you were going on that trip, I was like, you guys still together. You're like, oh, we're very much together. And so I think that people, we don't talk a lot about long-distance relationships, but, you know, like, it'd be interesting to, like, how you guys, like, keep it going.

And also just make those decisions that, like, if you're going to do this thing with your family for the holiday. I'm doing the same with mine. You don't have to be together every second. That's not the sign of a healthy relationship necessarily. Absolutely. I think we, and she's like very grounded and reasonable when it comes to that kind of stuff. You know what I mean? Like she understands like yeah, we both want to be with our families for the holidays. Like it's okay to be apart. You know what I mean? We don't live together. We probably, I'm sure hopefully we will eventually, but like we don't for now. It's fine. And the road trip thing, like I have like a travel bug. Like I need to be traveling a lot and like going on crazy trips. Like like I'd want

on that two week road trip by myself. Um, I plan to continue to do shit like that. In fact, last week we got in a fight because I went to the Dominican Republic and forgot to tell her. What? Julia. That's, I know. That was my fault. What are you talking about? You forgot to talk to him. You forgot to talk. Yeah, you told me. Yeah, but it came up a conversation. No, I know. You didn't, like, yeah. It just didn't come up. I thought I told her. She's like, I'm on my over with coffee. You're like, oh, I'm in the Dominican. I told Raina and Ashley, though. So this is what happened. I was complaining

because my parents were giving me shit because they say it's not safe in the Dominican Republic, which is bullshit, in my opinion. But like if you're not on the resort, I was going to Santo Domingo to be in the city and to like go around by myself. My parents were like nervous. And I was like all frustrated. She's like, what's wrong? I was like, my parents are giving me shit. She's like, for what? I was like, oh, about going to the Dominican

Republic next week? She goes, you're going to the Dominican Republic next week? I was like, yeah, I told you. She's like, no, you didn't. Because I said, I want to go to the Dominican Republic next week, but I didn't say I booked a fully. You know what I mean? She's completely right on that. But whatever, she knows that about me.

And like, you know, she knows that these things are so important to me and that in no way affects how I feel about her in any way. In fact, quite the opposite. Like, we want to be able to let each other do what we want to do in our lives. And like, we're equal. Like, we talk about each other's work

equally, like, just because I feel like a lot of comedian relationships, they get all the attention and the other person who isn't the comedian. like the comedian doesn't care about their life. It's like kind of weird. I'm not like that with us. Like I'm very engaged in her life. I know all about her work.

I try to like speak the language. And I think that like these things and that comfort also that comes along with that allows us to have a little bit of distance and to not like feel insecure about it. At least I don't. Well, and I think it's a recipe for a long lasting healthy relationship. Like that that's not that just that alone of like you being like I want to take this trip solo. So many people, not just women would be. like, oh my gosh, something's wrong in the relationship.

This isn't how it's supposed to be. Like, we all just need to kind of reframe our minds when it comes to this stuff. I love this idea. And like what you've said about, like, just being authentic to yourself and not prescribing to everybody's ideas of what, like, a healthy, quote-unquote relationship is. And Ashley talked a few weeks ago on the podcast about she doesn't necessarily want to live with anybody ever.

And we got so many messages and onslaught of messages of women, like, thanking us or thanking Ashley, not thanking me because I'm the opposite. I'm like, you have to be me always. But, like, thanking her for, like, being honest and saying, like this is not my truth and this is not what I want. I think some people would listen to your story and be like, they don't live together, they travel alone. There's no way this is a healthy relationship, you know?

And it's like, but that is what it works for us. We've been together for years and we love each other. It's so totally. It's so like, I have my location shared with her. I didn't even realize it. And Francis, like, didn't believe me. He's like, dude, there's no way she doesn't check. There's no fucking way she knew.

Who cares? We actually asked her on the podcast. And I share my location with her when I went on that road trip by myself. Just quick refresher for everybody who doesn't know this. I drove across the country by myself for two weeks. Yeah. So she was like, you know, she wanted to know where I was just in case. But like it's not that kind of relationship.

And because of that, like, it just allows, because this is another really important thing, living in the city and being around so many people and meeting so many people, like you need to allow room for each other to grow. Because if you don't, it's just never going to work. And like, I don't know. Do you guys agree with that? Yeah, 100%. Like all of this.

This is what it is. Like, and hopefully if one person doesn't stifle the other, you grow together. You know, people also grow in different directions and they break up and that's fine too. You can't be scared of that. Yeah. But, I mean, the right match, the right pair, that's the point. Yeah.

And you're supposed to love that person's growth because some people get scared. So they think they see growth in some way with their partner and they think like, this person is going to do too much of this and then leave me. You know what I mean? Right. And it's like, they might. Right. What are you going to do about it?

Right. And by thinking that way, you manifest it too. Yes, you manifest it. You push them. Then you get controlling and. you know, it's just... You become a shell of yourself. Yeah.

You become the person like, where were you? You're like, you don't want to be that person. Yeah, we talked about that a few weeks ago on the podcast also about like trying to control your partner. And like the reality is people are going to do what they want to do and they're going to lie to you if they feel like if somebody wants to be duplicitous,

they will find a way to do that. They want to cheat on you. And there's no amount of like going through somebody's phone and telling them like you're not allowed to do this that will stop them from doing it. And so I love that you guys like allow each other to do that. And Ashley and I have a lot of guy friends that have girlfriends that we hang out. You and I went out for a drink recently by ourselves. Totally.

Without Hillary, we talked about her the whole time. Like, it's not weird, and I think it's cool that it's cool with her and that she knows where you are. And it's like, you're not going to stop somebody from cheating on you by yelling at them and trying to control them. And I'm difficult. And like, and there's a few reasons. Like, you know, I was single for a really long time.

You know what I mean? Like I have some fucking baggage, not baggage, but like some dirt. You know what I mean? Like, I've dated people. I've, like, done stuff. And also, like, I stay friends with all my ex-girlfriends. And some of them are like big personality. and like difficult people and like there's been a couple that I've had to like cut it with because

they like violated my trust a little bit. We don't need to go there. But for the most part, I very much care about my ex-girlfriends. I talk to them. I text them like and we're friends and just friends are. And like she understands and gets it. But like I do not. I don't cross the line. Hillary is the queen. I fully respect her. If she has a problem with something, I'm more than happy to talk through it. I'm not going to just like dismiss her. You know what I mean? There's open communication. We talk about those guys. Ashley and I do that like we'll hang out with you and like you know they have a girlfriend. Not doing anything inappropriate, but they just kind of like don't talk about the girlfriend.

They act as though they're single. You're going to be single. Yes. And they just don't bring up. You know that they have a girlfriend. They just don't bring it up. And I've never felt that way about you. Yeah, no, definitely not.

Like I just, we just talk about it. It's not a weird thing. Like you use the word we a lot. And like, that's a normal, healthy thing to me. Cool. Yeah. And I also think that like a lot of people in entertainment, they're like afraid of like catching their stride and be able to bang whoever they want.

But like, being locked up. in relationship. It's the stupidest illusion ever. You know what I mean? Well, and the people kind of tie in the relationship and being locked down with this loss of freedom. So if your partner doesn't make you feel like you lost your freedom, then you're having the best of everything. Absolutely. So, I mean, yeah, go off. Absolutely. We got to talk about being friends with exes. What the fuck, Julie, you're friends with all your exes. Besides one, yeah. Do you see them? Like, yeah. Like, if I go to L.A., I'll call my ex-girlfriend and meet up with her. Define X, though. Because actually, now I always say, like, you've exes and you've like, the,

X. So like, how serious of an X? Okay. So there's like one, two, three, there's like four X's that I have that, you know, I'm friends. And there's a fifth one who's like, who I attempted to remain friends with and it became impossible. But everybody leading up to her, my high school girlfriend, I'm still friends with. She's a baby. Like whatever. That's like not a fan. Yeah. That's what I'm saying like define the X's. Then I had an ex that I dated on and off for four or five years. We're still very good friends. We wish each other happy birthday. We'll say nice things to each other. and like we have these like unique memories and these unique experiences that are that are special to us it doesn't mean that it's like inappropriate that I have this special friendship and bond

with this person so and it's a bit of a brutal process because I have been in these situations in the past where I'm like we're together we're broken up we're getting to the point where I fully close the door and I don't see that person like that ever again and like I feel very confident with that and it's definitely a thing that maybe it doesn't necessarily make sense but I think that it does, like she, I think she gets it now. And like, it's not a big deal. I'm not like calling them all the time and stuff.

But like, I'll text them. I'll see what's going on. I'll like check in on them. Well, the thing is you're honest about it. You're not to, you know what I mean? It's like the fact that you're talking about it on a podcast is like, I have nothing to hide.

Yeah, I really don't. Would you have a problem with her talking to her ex? Absolutely not. Does she talk to her exes? I don't, I'm not sure. But I hold her ex in very high regard. Like, I don't know him. Because he gave her to you.

Not even that. You know, he, no, but like he, he, he dated her. Like, they dated, they loved each other. Like, they were important to each other. He took care of her. He cared about her. Like, he protected her. Like, that's important to me.

Like, I hold him in very high regard. Like, I, if I met him, like, I would give him the utmost respect. And, like, if he didn't want to talk to me, I would understand. But, like, I actually tell her, I was like, I'd love to meet him. I think he, you know. I love that. I mean, and I have an ex that I can't be friends with. But, like, my dream is one day we'll be friends.

Because, like, you really just, you have. like you said, these memories with this person. And that's why I don't throw away photos. And I think it's weird. We've had this debate before and we can dive deeper at a different point when a current partner wants you to like erase your memories. It's like these are my memories. Like,

no, they're not framed photos everywhere. But like I didn't delete them. Like that was a part of my life. There was a lot of love there. Why would I just like burn our scrapbook? You know what I mean? Totally.

I fully agree with that. I would not be willing to delete pictures and stuff. Yeah. I'm not like jerking off to them. Of course, yeah. But yeah. But that person was my home for quite some time. But I want to go back and just wrap up because you guys have like been apart for so long.

So do you have any like tips for people that have like been away from their acts or maybe or been away from their significant other or doing long distance for like I don't know how to like keep it spicy or exciting or stay in touch? Do you have like good tips for that? So I and actually one of the tips I learned from Ashley. Oh. I think when you're on our, yeah, when you're on our podcast remotely. Very beginning of quarantine.

Yeah. Yeah, which I'll get to in a second. But I'm like my dad. My dad does this to my mom, but I call my real friend all fucking day long. I call her all day. To the point where she's like, yes, and I have like an update. I feel like a little boy that's like, mommy, mommy, a hawk. There's a hawk in front of me.

And she said, that's very nice, sweetie. Oh my God. Because I was like doing a bunch of hiking at the beginning of quarantine and she'd be still working. Yeah. So like I'd be calling her, calling her, calling her, calling her, calling her. Okay, so hearing somebody's voice. So calling all the time, keeping up, like, of course that's important. But also, we started to get to a point where we would go on a date.

Like, when we was two, three months in or however long, like, we start on Fridays, we'd, like, have a drink together. And that was your recommendation. Yeah. We'd sit and on a Zoom call and we drink wine and we talk. And, like, I'd, like, try to look good and shit. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Like, get your shit together. Like, look nice. Not you, but I went on one date and the guy looked like he rolled out of a dumpster. Like, I did, I did my makeup. Oh, I know you're nice. Yes. I was like, oh, I was eating with my parents. My mom was like, are you going to put makeup on?

I'm like, yeah, of course. And I was like, he was wearing like, he literally looked like you just rolled out of the gutter. I'm like, I am wearing an outfit. I have, I had to re-learn how to do makeup. I have the ring light out. Like, what are you doing? You look like garbage. So, yes, like the effort.

And like, it's so brilliant what we can do with Zoom and whatnot. You can have dinner. Like I was cooking dinner. I was on a Zoom call with a bunch of friends. I sat and had dinner. I mean, I muted myself, but so I wasn't rude.

But I was like, I'm having dinner with my friends, kind of. Somebody asked me the other day, they were like, you still do Zoom. I was like, I love it.

Why not? I don't do it every day. But like, I love to sit around and have a drink with my family who like, I've seen my brother once in a year, you know,

because of COVID. So like, I love to have dinner with him and his wife over Zoom as much as I can. Totally. It's just like FaceTime. Okay, so you guys just like communicated a bunch.

Yeah. And one other thing that I think is really important and this pertains to that but as well just in general, I think it's really important to like not take the most important people in your life for granted. You know what I mean? Like I still like try to as much as possible treat her as if it's like the way I would have treated her early on. You know what I mean?

Because it's like important. Like it should be special. It should be fun. It should be romantic. Like I'm planning what I'm going to get her for the holidays already. Like I don't. And when I go over there, I like try to be clean and like I'm not gross. and like, you know, I want to try to, like, maintain that, like,

courting phase to keep everything interesting and it, and it really works, I think. We always say never, never stop dating. It's, like, proven. Yeah. Who wants to feel like your partner takes you for granted? It doesn't get dressed and, like, doesn't give a shit where they throw their crap. It's like, you really care so little about me. You didn't even bother.

Christmas present, Christmas Eve, like my next to it. I was like, I need the gift of see for that because you bought me at first and I don't even need. And I was like December 24th. Oh, my God. Didn't even know stuff was open that day. Oh my God, that's crazy. Did he go CBS? I'm surprised.

He wasn't like, I'll return it. Or no. We talked about that and how to keep your relationship alive like two weeks ago on our show also. It's just you kind of always remind your partner that like your dick still gets hard for them. Yes, absolutely. Julie's like, or call them 16 times a day. Yeah, that too. Also, like, I mean, you made the joke of like, mommy, I saw a hawk.

But like, I'm sure also you call her all the time and you tell me, she probably, still seems happy to hear from you the 16th time in a day. Because I think validating your partner is so important too and recognizing them and not like eye rolling them. I think we always say how you kind of like pick up the phone and how you greet somebody in the morning with a morning text or whatever. Like always acting like you're happy to hear from your partner.

Totally. Even if you have called them fun. No, definitely. And we humor each other. Like she's obsessed with looking at apartments. Yeah. I don't give a fuck about that. But like she wants to show me, I'll look.

Yeah. She knows that I don't care. I'll still look. I'm obsessed with these like travel YouTube channels and I'll talk about it and she will roll her eyes but also still listen to me. Yes. You know what a way that's like she respects what I am interested in. Yes.

Well, what a treat to have a partner also that like literally doesn't care about any of your hobbies but at least tries. Like that's what we all want. That's good. Okay. So we, you have amazing stories. Thank you. I picked a few.

Okay, cool. They're so funny. I don't know these stories. You know what? Thank you for picking some because literally last night I was talking to Hillary and I was like, what are like good stories do I have? Because a lot of the time, like, if I tell a quote good story, like I didn't even realize it was a good story until after.

And people are like, that was a good story. I'm like, oh. You are so like, what is the word? Like unassuming or like you come out of nowhere with these stories. And I've talked about this with Francis because they're insane. Okay. So this one, um, I love and it's topical. It's about how you got an ex back.

Oh yeah. Okay. So I had this ex who sort of like savagely broke up with me just like in cold blood was like, hey, I don't like you anymore. Like I wish, you know, that's a reason to completely move on forever. But I was heartbroken. And I had a friend.

So my friend's daughter is how I met this girl. So my friend is older than me. And this girl's younger than me. But it wasn't like crazy. She was like a college age, whatever. So like young, but whatever. So I was like really heartbroken. And he felt really bad for me seeing how heartbroken I was.

And he goes, snowed realize what she did to you. He goes, this is what we're going to do. We're going to, he goes, we're going to make up, we're going to make up a story that you found. this new girlfriend, she's beautiful, she's this incredible. He goes, think if there's a girl. And I thought, I had a comedy show I had met this girl who's a model. And she was going to South Africa.

And I, like, got her email or something. I don't think she ever replied to me. I emailed her. I was like, hey, want to go on a day? And she, like, never hit me back. But she was moving to South Africa. And he goes, perfect. He goes, no one would be able to corroborate the story.

And this is long enough ago that, like, I don't think Instagram had even started yet. Right, like less ways to stock in the first place. Most of 2010 or something. Yeah. Okay. So he goes, This is what we're going to do. He goes, I'm going to tell my daughter that you're dating this girl.

She's so hot, this new girl, whatever. Like, I'm paraphrasing. Dad's in on it. Yeah. So he said, I'm going to tell her, and then she's going to tell someone, and then she's going to tell someone. And eventually it's going to get back to her that you're dating this smoking hot model. And he's like, and watch how quickly she messages you.

So we did exactly that. Why is my dad fuck boyd me? I would be so bad. I know, right? Wait for it. Savage. So she starts, so it ends up getting back around to her and she ends up hitting me up because of that and we end up dating again for like three more years.

Three years. There's two really nice things about this story that are hilarious. So this girl's name was Cody Cabral. The model. I believe she's now married. But seven years later, I ran into her to casting. That's right. And I walked up to her and I was like, Cody, right?

She was like, yeah, I was like, we met a long time ago. I was like, but you're going to love this story. What? I told her. She said, that's fucking nuts. Then we made a clip of it for my podcast. We posted it. My ex-girlfriend replies going, ha, ha, ha, da, dot, dot, wait.

Is this about me? Oh, my God. You never told her. But she goes, this is the greatest thing I've ever heard. Thank you. She loved it. She loved it. I mean, so many years later.

We've got to hone it on this. The villain in his story is the dad. My fucking dad did that to me. Okay, what if my dad did that to me, like, via you? Also, we have got to talk about that you didn't just like, hook up another time. You dated for three more years. Julie, I can't get past that. She broke up with you and then this thing made her date you for three more years. Did you change to keep her around for three years? I can't, can you get, I mean, this is crazy, right? This is a good question. So this girl,

she had just started college and she was going to arts school. She was going to RISD. And she was changing so much that like enough time went by that when we revisited, like she had matured a ton. And now she was like, she actually completely changed up her look. She like fully embraced the arts. school thing where before she was kind of like New York City girl. And like her family is like kind of, was like high profile sort of. So like she already was kind of like in the fast lane to begin with. It was really hard to keep her attention. Okay. So then she was at college. We were long distance. I would go visit. I was the guy visiting college was just so lame. I was like, oh, Wu-Tang? Oh, yeah. Did you go college? You guys need me to pick up some beer?

That was clearly doomed. I love that guy though. Yeah, that was cool at the time. The old guy? That was the old guy. Um, did I go to college? We called them old heads in Pittsburgh. I had already graduated, though. Okay, you were out of college. I had already graduated. Where'd you go to college? Boston University. Okay.

You did? But it's just too funny. I mean, it was just a crazy, so many different interesting twists. It's so, it doesn't seem real. The story doesn't seem real. And it's like this older man that was like staring the ship. Like, I just love it so much. Okay.

So we're talking about older people. Now tell us about when you dated your friend's mom. Okay. So I went on a date with my friend's mom. Okay. Also, the crazy part is like a girl friend's mom. Yes. Which actually is probably better, right?

Because, like, I feel like your guy friend wouldn't want to be like, dude, you want to fuck my mom? Like, it's, yeah. Totally. So it started out as a joke. I'd be like, your mom's so high. She's like, huh, ha, ha, Jules. Like, Papa Jules. Like, she was like, this girl was younger at the time.

So it would have been weird if I was even dating her. But like her mom was like, your mom's hot. And I was like 20. The girl's younger than you? Yeah. Like your friend. Okay. I must have been 23.

22, 23. Okay. The mom must have been 38 or 40 or something. And I was like, I want to take your mom on a date. And she was like, okay. And I was like, really? And she was like, yeah. I was like, could I have her number?

And we had all gone to this lunch together. Like my friend's parents. So I texted her. I was like, hey, do you want to go out with me? Confidence. She is 40 and you're 23. We went to Barbunia. You know Barbunia?

It's in like 26 in Park or something. That's like a really nice place for like a young kid to take someone. Yeah. And it's funny. I asked my like Italian friend who like lived here because he like knew the city better than me at the time. I was like, we're checking. I always like to take first date to Barbonia.

It's a good place. I was like, okay, cool. Like, Barbuni it is. Okay, it's on Perk Avenue. It's really beautiful. But it's a lot of like little mezes. So it's food that's good to share and you're eating with your hands. It's sexy.

Good day place. So we have a couple of drinks. I think she like had a drink. We're talking. We're doing this and that. And I just like never cracked her open. Like I never, she was never that interested. And it was actually the worst performance that I've ever had on a first date,

not to like be anticlimactic with it. Were you nervous? She was just like in a very different stage of life than you or that didn't phase you? I was in that phase by that. I mean, I was nervous because like, I don't know, she was this like older hot lady and like, you know, I wanted to like make her like me and whatever. I don't know if she kind of got me all wrong. Like I was like a tennis teacher at the time.

I don't know if her mom thought that I was like some like NYC legacy kid or something. Like because that was sort of how she first met me. I was at a lunch with all these like NYC people like in that whole world. So I don't know if that was a more appealing person. than what I ended up being, which is like the tennis pro. Which is the craziest part to me, and I told you this before, is that I would think a woman who's going to date or hook up with a guy half her age, who's also friends with her daughter, the point is that he's like a hot tennis instructor.

Like the point is not that he's going to be your sugar daddy. He's like 20. And I don't know if that's what you want it, but yes, 100%. But it's funny because when you told the story, whenever I saw you tell it, you were like, you were like successful enough for her. And I'm like, that's insane. Like the fantasy is that you. are like younger.

Not that you're going to take care of her as like a 20-something. And there's a really strong chance. Who knows? Maybe she just didn't like me. Maybe she's like, oh, this guy's too much of a boy or some shit. Like, who knows? But she made it very clear because she lived like four blocks away from me from where I was

staying. Oh, okay. So when we got on the cab, she made it very clear that we were making two stops. Okay. We hugged. No first day kiss. You know what I mean? Damn.

If I'm 40 and I'm going out of a 23-year-old, it's only for one reason. It's not for your conversation skills and you're definitely coming over. So I don't know. what she expected. Yeah, you must still like really turned her off at some point. I mean, no offense, but like, that would be like you're coming up. You know what I mean? Yes. I'm going to get something out of this. I mean, you know, yeah, I must have fucked up. I mean, I would love to hear what she would

have to say about it. I'm sure we would have a good laugh. But a few years later, and when the daughter and I both were a little older, we ended up going out a few times. Which is pretty funny. I wish you would have fuck both of them. I'm dying. Good. Did you sleep with her though? The daughter. and I dated sort of. We didn't like date, but like... Did you go to family dinners? Things went better with... Let's just leave it at with the things went better with the daughter.

Did you have to between the lines? No, it never turned into a we... I went, I'm hung out with her family or anything. That would have been crazy. It would have been crazy. Can you imagine, like, going to Christmas dinner, you've dated the mom and the daughter? I know. I can't imagine. I mean, my mom has been married for 40 years, so I can't even like really

wrap my head around it, but to date it... You and your mom, dated the same dude? It's tooth crazy. Yeah. It's so crazy. I got to be honest, like there must, I don't remember how I felt then. And I didn't start journaling yet at that age. I feel like this is why journaling is so important. You journal? Yeah, I do. Yeah. You can remember how you felt. Yeah. That's so valuable. You forget that. You know? Yeah. Absolutely. So I wish I could go back and see if the reason, I mean, the daughter's beautiful and like, a lovely person and whatever. And she's funny. She's great. But I wonder if there was part of me that was like, oh, this is sick. Like, I went out with her mom. Now I'm going out with her.

Like, I'm sure that had to have played into it. for sure. Well, thank you for sharing these stories, Julio. Should we move on? Yeah. So, okay, you have, you have, like, really great insights. I've really enjoyed, like, talking to you about, like, relationships and dating. So we design games for everybody that comes on the show. We're going to, we polled our listeners. We're going to do manalizing with you today. We're people submitted questions about male behavior, and you're going to mansplain this and manalize with us. All right. Let's go. Okay. My first question, Bush or no Bush. Oh. I was excited about this.

one. Oh, wow. Okay, can I answer it like, not in one word? Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah. The point is talked about it. Okay. So the answer is Bush, but both. Okay. Bush but both. Okay. Bush but it's like Bush but bad name. Are we talking about presidents or? Bush for both. That's what he ran on. Bush but both. Me and my dad. No, but I think that like, you know, when people ask what's your favorite food, the correct answer is a variety of my favorite foods. Okay. That's the correct. answer to that question for anyone. So I think the same way with Bush or no Bush, they're both wonderful, but I think that I lean towards Bush, but both are wonderful. And I like, I like the both. And also, no guys like, I don't do that. Like, any guy that says, like,

they only prefer one, it's like, that's a fucking loser of a dude. Like, you know, like, it makes it up, dude. Right. Also, it depends on who the carrier of the Bush is. I don't have a great bush. I don't rock a bush that much. Okay? I can't grow like a rock and bush. So, like, I don't rock it a lot. But, like, I also, like, don't, like, don't, we shave and like I've never had a guy be like nope not doing that. I have to like punch guys in the face to get them out of there. Oh yeah. This, a friend of ours, I'm not going to say who, but he did like show me a nude that he had received from this girl and she had an amazing bush. Yeah? Like, I mean, I think I always say I have like this big old bush, but like little did I know.

People are out here like puffier fluffier, better bushes. I'm jealous of puffy fluffy. If I can do puffy fluffy. I'd rock a bush. Was it a full puffy fluffy? Like, was there any manicuring done? I mean, she I don't know. They have a funny relationship, I guess, and she had told him that she actually did have to landscape a little before. So I think she must have it all. She must just be

a hairier person. So I guess she had shaved the sides. But what was left? So I, when he told me that story, I was like laughing that this girl had to groom before sending these nudes. Also, for the record, it was just a body shot. I couldn't see her face. I don't know who this girl is. But anyway, so the bush was perfect. It looked like a, you know, it was 70s, porn.

Right, right. And honestly, there's different tiers of bush as well. Like, I, like, you know, there's kind of like the, the Kempt one. There's the one that's like shaved from the bottom, but it goes on the top. But then there's just like the straight up 1970s, Nevada desert, nuclear explosion bush. It looks like a mushroom cloud. And that is like... By the way, it's Nevada. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm not going. An ex-bye. An ex of mine really just liked right out of the waxing salon full Brazilian. You know what I mean? But he didn't mind when I was, had a bush. No guys ever minded. Okay. So speaking in nudes.

I'm so excited you're going to ask this. Okay. Why? God, who is this guy? Why does my man respond cool after I sent him a nude? Okay, let me qualify this because we did an episode about sexting and like sexy picks.

And a lot of girls were like, I get, people are like, cool, bro. Like guys, like guys that like have no idea what to say to you when you send one. So, like, why does that happen? Like, I think there's a way to kind of communicate enthusiasm, at least. I wonder if he's, like, send me a picture of you doing this,

and then she does it, and then he says, cool. That's one thing. We just, we just say bare minimum, like, hard eyes, water droplets emoji, like, just something that shows a girl you are appreciating what she's pointing out there, then, like, sick, dude. No, like... Do you think they're just so uncomfortable?

They're like, I have no idea what to say to this. I want it. I like it. Maybe. I think that the texting medium allows you to not be uncomfortable. You can gather yourself. Like what I would say to that, if I received a hot nude from somebody who I really liked, I'd be like, need that soon, or I'm Ubering to a bridge and jumping off of it. Right. Or like, I wish you were here. Like it's so, the bar is so low. Right. I need you. Like, yes, I need that. Cool. Yeah. Cool. It's just like, fuck. Yeah. That dude has, I mean, I don't know what the deal is with those two, but that's good friend. Yeah. That was my favorite thing. Nice. Nice. I'm sorry. I'm

this girl tweet she was like I sent a nude he wrote like looking good friend I'll never forget looking good friend yeah like one one syllable words like what are you doing like dope okay um I feel like I've sort of been here before and I feel like I understand why okay why do men say they've never had a blow job to completion but they insist on fucking you when they're close so like do you know what I mean yeah I have I have a night okay you want me to unpack so like can you respond yeah yeah guys like actually's like I would never what is the Blow job again. So guys, there are guys that'll tell you they can't finish from a blowjob, but like,

there are? There is basically saying, oh, yeah. But I understand it. Listen, it's hard to have somebody else, like, masturbate you. When you're fucking a person, you have control over speed, over, like, the intensity of it. I haven't heard that a lot. Ashley's like, no one's ever told me that they couldn't finish because I finished them all. No, I just, I didn't know that was a thing.

Like, I can't come from a blowjob. Oh, I've had a couple guys tell me that before. Okay. I mean, I keep going. Guys, I don't want to downplay my BJ skills. They weren't telling me, like, why. it was happening, just they mentioned it in passing, why am I doing this? Basically, they were saying, like, you know, that, like, a guy was, like, close,

but then he stops and fucks her. And my, my theory on this is, like, it's hard to control, like, rhythm and pace of another person, and when you're fucking, you can control the rhythm and pace. Yeah, totally. I think there's two questions there. I think it's, like, why is that such a common narrative among men saying that they cannot finish during a blowjob? And why, then, when they're about to, do they want to have sex instead?

And I think that the answer to the latter is that sex is the fucking real thing. It's the major leagues. You know what I mean? Like the blowjobs triple A and you want to like finish in the promised land. Like you don't want to, you know what I mean? That makes sense to me there. And I think what you just said too as far as like the logistics of a blowjob. But I also think there's this like guilt involved as the man where like you just feel

bad if like you see someone working hard and it's like not going anywhere. You get in your own head and it makes it even harder. Like it becomes like a self-fulfilling prophecy. So, I don't know. I mean, I love guys going down to me. Like, I'll let anybody do it, like, off the streets. I don't care. But, like, I would say maybe half of the guys who have gone down to me have given me an orgasm.

And I feel like that's being generous. Like, it's a real skill. And a lot of guys are not good at it. And, I mean, we all know that moment where you know it's not going to happen. And for me, like, I got to call them up. Right. But I'm, like, so tall, I have to, like, yell down there, you know. Can I have.

Hey! Like, Ashley said the career. I have to pass a note. I'm like, you're done here. Come on, come on up. I mean, everybody's body is totally different. I come, like, really fast, but, like, there's nothing worse. I come really fast for it.

But there's nothing worse than bad oral sex. It is so unpleasant for me. Like, when I just, like, can't get into it and somebody is just like, I mean, it sounds but somebody's just, like, spitting all over your clit. Like, I don't want that. It's gross. I'd rather you just, like, come up here and, like, just get inside. I mean, let's do this.

Like, I don't, it's uncomfortable. I'm painting that picture of just like, yeah like that's so bad like Jesus Christ yeah and I've had some guys that were great at it but you know can I counter question now this is like making me curious yeah um so when you're saying like you and you call them up you're like right pal like let's uh is there ever because I I've felt in like at times in my life where there have been times where it seems as if the girl is enjoying it and like the like the tight like the kind of like tightening up that appears like I'm making progress begins to happen and then they're like okay stop come yeah so first thing

of all sometimes I'm just pretending because I just want it to stop and I just want to have sex. I know I'll enjoy that more. But the other thing is once I have an orgasm, sometimes I'm just like, I don't want to do this anymore. So like I don't want to come because then I got to like lay there and like, right, full blown sex session with you. And I'm just sort of like, listen, I'm all for like long sex sessions. I can come multiple times. Like sometimes you just want to like get off and like be done with it for the day. And it's like if I have to get off and then I have to fuck you, I'm like, God damn it. Well, I think, and you guys know me like, you know, eat me out and leave is my vibe. That's a session.

Ashley. That's my, the Ashley Lassetal time special. But I hate to say this. I masturbate a lot with a vibrator and it's just like, it's so much more powerful on your clit. And so of course it's sexy that a guy's down there that you like that's going down on you. So that's sexy mentally. Human heat. It's hard to like to get that sensation with a person down there. So I think, I hate to say it, but I think, and this is just how I feel personally, like me

and maybe some women can relate have kind of fucked ourselves with the like use of the vibrator on your clit. So you know me. I don't really go down there with like my hand. Like I'm just kind of used to this like thing with a battery. So if I were in a relationship, I would probably want them to maybe incorporate a toy or two when they're going down to me. So that's kind of what it is for me. I just, I'm like, he's doing great. This isn't, there's not much wrong with what's going on on there.

He knows what he's doing. But like I'm just so much used to so much more intensity. So like just come on. up and let me like jump on top you know but the blowjob thing is very similar to me at least where it's like that person's hand knows exactly like the rhythm and the pressure that they need to come and so like just having a mouth on your dick isn't going to necessarily make you calm so i see i see it the same exactly i just think that like i know what you mean by a vibrator good at given blow jobs like i feel like the average guy can get off can come yeah but i don't i don't know i would i would agree

that it's not my preferred method okay of you know finishing the job but you know it doesn't mean it can't be done. I love this conversation, guys. Me too. I gave a great blow job this summer. Ashley's like, that's all you guys did. I was like, I literally was like the most fun blow job I've ever given. You got to, you got to enjoy it. I really had so much fun. He had a great time to. That's great. That was sick for both of us. Well, Julia, thanks for analyzing. Yeah, my pleasure. These were really fun. These questions. I love these. Usually we're just like, we ask questions, the answer is like he doesn't like you. You were so great. I'm sure people are going to want to find you. So tell them where they can find your podcast.

your Instagram, anything else that you're working on? Yeah. Oops the podcast. I do with Francis, who I know as a friend of your guys' podcast as well, Francis Ellis. Check that out. I oops the podcast.

I'm ad not Julio on Instagram. I think that's pretty much it. What day is the podcast out? You guys would do a couple days a week, right? Tuesday and Thursday it comes out. Okay. Yeah, so check it out. Lots of good guests on there that have been on our show.

Ashley and I've been on the show. Ashley and Raina have been on both a couple times. So, yeah, I would definitely appreciate if you check that out. So thank you. And thank you guys for having me. Of course. Yeah. And you guys know where to find us. Girls Gotta Eat Podcast.com.

Get merch and tickets to our virtual live show in December 13th. At Girls Gotta Eat Podcast on Instagram. Ash Hess, reina.com, greenberg on Instagram, girls underscore got eat on Twitter and YouTube.com slash girls got to eat. We'll see you next week. How a good week, guys. Bye.